#This episode makes me manic

[ourladyofmaplemurder]

Cheryl in Ex-Libris

Ok, the time has come. I need to talk about this episode.

This episode makes me so insane for several reasons. (Cheryl's WILD almost figure-skater top that she wears is one of them, but not the important one. Girl, what are you wearing?)

It also makes me crazy that she says THIS.

Cheryl, no one in the cast has more scenes reading alone in her house than you. No one. The irony of this line is honestly hysterical. But again, this is not the important reason this episode makes me insane.

No, the important reason is the reference to Flowers in the Attic.

So, as a refresher, in this episode, Percival Pickens is going around collecting overdue library books from the gang. These books are thematically relevant to and hold significant meaning for each of them.

Cheryl's book is Flowers in the Attic, by V.C. Andrews.

This alone is enough to make me foam at the mouth. Of course her book is Flowers in the Attic. The themes of that book (the cruelty of mothers, incest, feeling trapped, the callous nature of affluent families, the impact of neglect, etc.) are incredibly relevant to Cheryl's character. (And I mean, this all but confirms the Blossomcest thing, but that's a whole other can of worms.)

In any case, it's a perfect book for her. A match made in the Sweet Hereafter, as it were. BUT HERE'S THE THING.

The way the show references the book makes absolutely no sense. Basically, Cheryl hears giggling, in her house somewhere. She goes to investigate. There's a child under a sheet in her bed. She asks if it's Heather and pulls the sheet away to reveal a bouquet of roses. She then says, "Flowers in the Attic, indeed."

Ok. Not trying to spoil the book for you, but uh nowhere in the book are there ghosts or flowers. The only flowers, really, are the ones the children make to remind them of the outside world or, perhaps, the children themselves.

I actually read the book to try understanding this reference (I wanted to read the book anyway) and when I finished it, I was just as confused, perhaps even more so.

And I guess the writers were just trying to bring Heather up as Cheryl's next big topic, but like, why they didn't make Cheryl's ghost Jason, I will never understand. They already brought up Flowers in the Attic AND the fact that she still has his bones in her house. The fact that the show is so casual about her keeping that boy in her house fills me with indescribable mania. Why does no one care that she keeps his bones in the house? No one ever says anything. I still can't believe the core four went to the viking funeral in season 4 and didn't say a word. NOT A WORD. Literally no one EVER comments on the fact that Cheryl has kept her brother's body in her house for YEARS. Why does no one ever say ANYTHING? -foaming at the mouth- She literally mentions the time she already burned Jason's body and the room is silent about it. No one has a question? A concern? Really? REALLY?

Anyway, it seems to me like the other characters have very clear relationships to their books. We do not get that kind of insight into Cheryl's relationship to hers. (The jury is out on Veronica. I really need to read Kiss of the Spider Woman!) Does she resent it? Does she romanticize it? Did she like the book or did it horrify her? Hello? HELLO?

Unless (and this just occurred to me as I was writing this) the writers are trying to suggest that Cheryl's relationship to Heather is "forbidden love"? I can maybe see that, but like, that's a farther stretch than the twincest, abuse, and other relevant topics the show has been waving around since episode 1.

And again, I know this is a CW teen drama. They can't really go full dark no stars with some of these topics. But like, it still makes me crazy that we dance around them so much.

Ok. That's my rant. Thanks. <3

[icarusredwings]

Thinking about Wade just... being normal(?) For a day. Doing house hold chores, watching shitty live tv, goes out to walk Puppins, showering with no smart remarks.

Yes, he still hums and taps on stuff, but it's much.. calmer.. now. In the sense that he doesn't want to cause a scene and would rather just be left alone right now.

But then... when he gets out. Surely he's going to be his silly self and say something, right?? Right???? Wrong.

He just... sits there. Boredly looking at those free magazines that you find sometimes at doctors' offices. The ones that are like "Home improvment for your loved one with dementia" or "50 dinner ideas for someone with diabetes"

Logan just blinks after watching him all day and goes "...Are you okay?"

Without a beat, he awnsers pretty monotoned. "I can't be manic all the time. That's just stupid to think." Before realizing he said it outloud. He perks up and starts laughing. "I mean- Yeah I'm great! What about you, Tiger?"

Again Logan just stares, blinking some as he tries to process.

"....How long have you kept up that act..?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, pumpkin!" It was like watching someone trying to impersonate themsleves.

"....Wade.."

"What is it cupcake?"

"...You don't have to do that."

"Do what? Gosh your so silly. My silly little sunflower."

Logan just stares at him for a bit more and quickly he panics, swallowing and starting to say anything he can to make him believe it was a joke but he dosn't believe a single word of it.

"...its not an act.. is it?"

It eventually ends with wade running out of excuses or things to lie about. He sits there, tears starting to run down his face as he thinks of words to say. You can see just how desperate he is to say something but he can't seem to get it out.

"..I....I-i."

"I know."

Wade just looks at him with this big scared eyes as if he was about to accuse him of faking or telling him he liked this wade better or something terrible like asking how to keep him this way but Logan pulls him into a side hug.

"...are you okay?"

His throat tightens, shaking his head. "..no."

"That's okay." Turning to give him an actual hug, Wade cries. Not because he's sad though. But because to Logan, it doesn't matter how high or low he was on the chart, who he was or how he acted. He loves him. He understands that acting like a crazy childish phycopath isn't a mask but rather who he was sometimes. And sometimes he prefered to silently lay his head on his shoulder.

Eventually Logan asks him if he has a personality disorder and Wade just shrugs. "Probably.... is that an issue..?"

"No.... do you want diagnosed?"

Wade pauses, remembers the last time he asked for medical help and shakes his head. "Nah... I'm good.. besides. I've come to like him."

"How long has he been in there?" Logan playfully knocks on his head and wade giggles a bit. A genuine true laugh. "I don't know. Probably forever.... are you sure it's not a problem?" He bites his tounge, waiting for the "because I like him better" but it never came.

"Why would that be a problem? Sure, you're a pain the ass but you're my pain in the ass." He says, mindlessly sitting for a second before quickly saying "DON'T-"

As wade is on the brink of explosion from laughter and some smirky comments.

[callhertwice]

dolly 😵‍💫

[disposal-blueeee]

from this thing on twt

[faithfromanewperspective]

what’s there not to understand about hypomania? you know when you get overtired, and like a toddler, you get all hyperactive and also want to cry or do Every Fun Thing you can think of and it actually becomes harder to sleep? like as a result of too much overwhelm or being so emotionally exhausted that’s how your body makes you able to cope, the aftereffects of too much adrenaline? just imagine being stuck like that. and every day it triggers itself more, overload of emotional whiplash and energy and you��ve lost all ability to think rationally and you can do anything at this point, because why not? you’ve got nothing left in you to hold back on any idea that could be exciting and stop you from falling into the void where the wiredness you feel has nothing to latch onto to burn off that nervous energy in a positive way, emotionally. for days or weeks or months on end. you don’t need to have ever experienced this fully to extrapolate and be like. yeah. I can see how it would suck eventually to get stuck like that

[lord-squiggletits]

Where are my "Pharma has an untreated mental illness that's exponentially making his trauma and shitty coping mechanisms worse" headcanon enjoyers at (big fan of manic bipolar!Pharma myself)

[cherry-png]

AmberLynn Reid doesn’t understand she is also very privileged.

ALR loves to bring up how thin people are more privileged than bigger people will ever be, and I’m not going to deny a majority of society does tend to favour people who aren’t as big.

But ALR fails to acknowledge just how privileged she is as well. The fact that she’s able to plate herself more than three times a day is beyond a privilege. There are times, mainly in my past (I’m doing a bit better nowadays), when I didn’t know when my next meal was. There was a time when I literally was only able to eat my melatonin gummies for two days because that was the only source of food in the house.

I’ve literally had large portions of my hair fall out just from brushing or washing it because of how malnourished I was. ALR is so privileged to just film a stupid, half assed vlog and have enough money to pay her bills, stock her fridge and cabinets, and still be able to afford stuff for her three pets and buy bathroom essentials (shampoo, toilet paper, soap, etc).

I literally don’t want to hear it from her that she grew up poor and had a traumatic childhood, because guess what. There are so many people who share similar childhood experiences as her (such as myself) and aren’t using it as a random defence mechanism.

You don’t get to use ‘I had a traumatic childhood’ as a response for pity. I’m not going to deny ALR may have very well had a traumatic upbringing and grew up poor, but that fact that she currently has the ability to pick herself back up but actively chooses not to is just… and don’t even get me started on the way she self sabotages omg…

Okay I’m blabbering on now, sorry for that. Disclaimer; I understand eating disorders (in the context, an over eating disorder) can very much take over your life, and a rough upbringing won’t do anything to help it. It’s the fact that she doesn’t care to pick herself back up though. ALR is privileged in certain ways where other people struggle; Having an easy source of money (imo), being able to plate her food, etc.

And I’m genuinely not sorry if I sound mean in this post. ALR is not a ‘good’ person imo. Even if she decides to pick herself up, get her act together, take responsibility, and becomes a genuinely decent human being… that won’t erase all the harm she managed to cause throughout the years (speaking from the perspective of a person that experienced an abuser very similar to ALR for years).

[squeakadeeks]

if i had a dollar for every time a religious missionary knocked on my door to "spread the good news" while i was actively in an acute mental health crisis i'd have 2 dollars, which isnt a lot but also. how many times does this have to happen before they stop coming.

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

silly vampire costumes and their added benefits™️ (directly based on this)

[solace-seekers]

screaming into the void <3

[uwuowowatchthis]

I might actually have to go to a doctor this is getting bad

[soaps-mohawk]

You know when you're too normal and suddenly you need to be weird? (Cut to the guys omega doing Michael Jackson moves in public)

Me rn

[youngpettyqueen]

I have Hawkeye on now and im using Hawkeye rambling on about the bones in the skull as the foundation for my new headcanon that he'll just start listing off different bones when he needs to keep himself awake or calm himself down

[koko-raccoon]

.

[perryabbott]

i hate posting about being mentally ill bc it feels cringe but i just need to say i'm feeling horrible lately 👍

[pinkcasket]

ik bpd akechi is popular but honestly I'm dying on my bipolar + c-ptsd + npd/narcissistic and ocd features for c-ptsd hill