#Things did not go as expected.
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In the gray zone where you've read enough spoilers to know about some major events but not enough to know exactly how things go afterwards so you're even more distressed than if you hadn't read anything at all.
You will find me compulsively refreshing any review sites I can find until I have The Information.
#the paradise of thorns#You see I'm in one of those mental states#Where I cannot really deal with things that end *too* badly#Like emotional damage is fine but I need to be prepared I need to know the twists#So I was harvesting spoilers like a diligent little ant and. Well.#Things did not go as expected.
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I guess Chilchuck has brought us right back to 'adults who are short are child-coded and if you like them you're a pedophile' discourse huh
#spitblaze says things#anyway.#1) please google 'halfling'#2) THERE ARE ADULTS WHO ARE VERY SHORT. DID YOU KNOW THAT. WERE YOU AWARE#3) THERE ARE ALSO ADULTS WHO HAVE CHILDLIKE FACES. DID YOU KNOW *THAT*#4) IF YOU THINK THE ONLY REASON A MAN COULD LOOK LIKE THAT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE TRANS MEN IM GOING TO KILL YOU#5) jesus christ will you just read/watch dungeon meshi and understand that the entire conceit of his character and of half-foots in general#is that its fucked up to treat people as children or subhuman because they do not 'look' like what you expect a cisgender adult to look lik#anyway if i see one more person call Chilchuck 'has gray streaks and an ex wife and three adult daughters' Tims a sh*ta#im gonna start smashing things#doin numbers
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The thing about jonmartin is that Martin wants to be a romantic, he loves poetry and probably watches romance but for him it is a fantasy, a silly game he plays. Martin is at his core very cynical. Things don't work out for him so he doesn't really belive in romance, it is a pretty dream but that's it. He is pratical and realist. Dating Jon he has to remind himself it is real and he actually struggles with romantic gestures, it is something he has to remind himself to do, to remind himself he can do even and honestly who even has the energy and what if Jon doesn't even like it?
Jon on the other hand wants to be cynical. His first coping mechanism was pretend the things he was afraid of weren't real and goddam if he isn't afraid of love. It didn't really work to him so far so it's easy to pretend he doesn't care. But he is a romantic at heart. He saw love and he read about it and he has enough evidence that it is undeniable. And to be honest Jon was always to much a bunch of mushy feelings hidden in a grumpy (and bitter and afraid) trench coat. Dating Martin he has to hold himself so he isn't too much. He plays the grumpy unromantic guy at first. But he just can't stop giving flowers and planing dates (this is the guy that saw a theme park on a fear domain and considered how he wanted to take Martin to a romantic ferris whell date [until he discovered Martin was afraid of them]) and making all the silly things one does when in love.
TR: Martin is deep down very cynical about love but wants to/pretends to be a romantic and Jon is deep down very romantic but wants to/pretends to be cynical about love.
#that's also to say Martin is definitivaly the one forgeting important dates#wich is more complicated cause jon consider random things important#like jon has no expectation that martin will actualy do something to celebrate 'the aniversary of the first time you got me flowers'#but he will circle the date and give martin a flower and martin will go 'is this jon being silly or did i forgot our birthday again'#until jon just stops circling it on calendars so martin won't be anxious#jon is romantic enough that he is fine being the only one that rememberz#remember guys jon asked if they would find each other in every universe#jon belived he and martin would always be together#martin belived it was a miracle they were together once a great miracle but a miracle#tma#the magnus archives#martin blackwood#jonathan sims#jonmartin#jmart#teaholding
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i'm exactly as normal about him as I thought I'd be
#my art#trigun stampede#vash the stampede#trigun#trigun vash#vash#tristamp#trigun stampede fanart#trigun fanart#idk the tags fr this fandom sorry its babys first trigun#im not abandoning jjk but expect more other stuff sprinkled in!! including trigun <333 including him <3#ANYWAY IM SOOOOO NORMAL ABTHIM IM SO NORMAL I PROMISE#im lying im sorry im feral about him i want unspeakable things done 2 him it was over the moment i heard his voice#but [redacted] thoughts aside#hes so fun to draw oh my god how did they make a character Exactly For Me how did they make one that ticks all my boxes#hes blond but like i can work with it i will get good at rendering blond hair for him <333 hes worth it <333333#i was cruisin along mindin my business having fun learning how 2 draw him and then i get 2 the arm . +24hrs to total drawtime#all my cheats ...my safety net of being able 2 use flesh to disguise th fact that u dont reeeeally know where tendons or joints go...#out th window. this prosthetic is practically an anatomically correct model. u can see EVERYTHINg#put my entire me into trying to figure it out h i think it is ok i think i like it#god i rly cant get over how he's just a combination of all the fun parts of drawing yuuji megumi AND gojo#he is the center of their triple venn diagram and i am EATING HIM ALIVE#sorry ill calm down .... fr now.... smile :)
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so excited for Kalim to save the day by swiper-no-swiping this dip. you can do it! I believe in you!
god I hope this reads properly
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#i feel like kalim and the marshmallow test operates under roger rabbit rules#whether he passes or fails depends on which option is funniest at the time#anyway HEY things are finally actually happening!#so glad fellow agrees with me there#did he even expect them to make it to the show. did he very quickly have to choreograph a poppy little dance number.#honestly in retrospect i am also shocked that they lasted as long as they did#i mean. floyd is there. c'mon.#speaking of which i did really enjoy floyd going BYE JADE! MAYBE I'LL COME BACK TO SAVE YOU LATER IF I FEEL LIKE IT!#revenge for the popcorn#sorry if this is nonsensical! somehow it became like 4 am while i wasn't looking#i am super digging the evil theme park shenanigans (now that they're actually happening)#it's just Very Late!
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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finally got around to watching sk8 the infinity. lowkey thought yall were being dramatic abt renga. i would like to apologize. those two motherfuckers are in LOVE love.
#sk8 the infinity#sk8 reki#reki kyan#langa hasegawa#sk8 langa#reki#langa#skate the infinity#sk8#renga#reki my love#of skateboarding#i did enjoy it#expect fanart#like i thought yall were just doing the typical shippy thing#and i was just gonna go along with it for fun and whimsy#no those two are blatantly in love#i understand now
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I want it back / I drag its dead weight forward.
#Better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#digital art#This was a style experimentation doodle that took on a life of its own.#In a way it is a great example of 'beautiful failure'. The original goal was to try a pure black and white contrast piece.#Which I very much failed at doing. Not quite ready for that! However what this turned into is something I like a lot!#Different but in a way that really pushed me as an artist. A little less simple; a little more proportional.#I was also recently thinking about LWJ's grieving that we only catch glimpses of.#LWJ grieved his first love for 13 years. His love that was never reciprocated.#He chose to dedicate his heart to that mourning and most painfully of all - he did so knowing there was no end to that grief.#Wei Wuxian comes back to life in MDZS but that is an exception. Not the expectation.#He was dead. Not missing. Not 'maybe in hiding'. He was dead and his spirit unreachable.#Jiang Cheng went forwards with denial but LWJ takes that grief on. He copes by continuing to carry the weight with him.#Let me be clear. Neither are healthy approaches. It is a way to cope but it does not mean that is healing or healthy.#Grief is loved transformed but it is also about endurance and letting go. Grief can change you. You can also change your grief.#It isn't a good or evil thing to experience. It is just an experience.
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had a rarepair moment and then all of these doodles suddenly appeared. 💙🧡 i just think they are SO underrated.....sadxiety nation where ya at [me talking to myself in the mirror]
#damn. did not expect my first io art of the year to be these two but here we are AHDJKFHJ happy new yuri indeed...#using my lesbian powers to imagine weirdgirl femslash...but seriously though underrated for REAL.#you ever think about the scene where sadness stands up to anxiety. or the bits in go to sleep anxiety.#head in handsss i just think they'd get along so well. adn maybe kiss.#also sorry will never stop thinking about the concept of the other emotions trying anxie's energy drinks. funniest thing in the WORLD to me#inside out 2#inside out#inside out sadness#inside out anxiety#sadxiety#sadness x anxiety#inside out fandom#sketchbook
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🤒🩷💙💉
close ups:
+ inspo (literally my fav miku fig ever):
#zeno's art#vocaloid#kaito shion#kaito#kaito vocaloid#love ward#ughhh this took too long#i was originally going to do the same pose with miku#but ive been obsessed with kaito lately#and need to practice different body types soooo#of course this one has a bunch of issues#but oh well#just wanted to draw a cutesy pinup type thing#if i did it again id prob add more decor in the drawing (more medical equipment etc etc)#ok gonna schedule this now lololol#oh yea also MY EXAMS R DONE!!!! expect more art soon
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gg buddy am I right (ethubs doodle that I don't know what to do with)
#ethubs#Ive wanted to draw ethubs angst for so many days but art block is still hitting hard and this thing has been sitting around for awhile#hey ethubers how did you. survive#last life ethubs upsets me so much make it end#The way after Bdubs dies Etho is trying to justify to himself not having given him a life to begin with rather than#telling him to prove himself#its like he expects the others who are with him to comment on it but they dont. Etho's all "I couldn't have just given it to him you know..#without them asking about it or anything. And Etho just keeps going. god damn it Etho I feel so bad for them#dont even get me started on what Bdubs said to G about Etho grrrr GRRRR I saw that for the first time not long ago GRRRRRR#I still wanna draw proper ethubs though. someday#also the damage to Bdubs' face is supposed to be from the rocket Lizzie shot#does it make sense? No probably not but its an excuse to make him look more dead#tubby art
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Steve Cobs I hope you EXPLO- oh wait.
#inanimate insanity#ii#mephone4#steve cobs#art#digital art#fanart#comic#abuse tw#violence tw#smoking tw#child abuse tw#<- I dont consider mephone a child but youknow just in case#gjinka#pre-canon#My man you built him to care about your health what did you expect#I dont think he smokes often but he has a stressful job so he lets himself occasionally#He was supposed to be wearing a suit but I forgottt and I put him in his alt outfit on accident. Dumb little suspenders.#I should also note that Mephones face and hands are the only places built with sensation so yeah this is especially awful#AND THEN THE WAY HE JUST USES HIM AS AN ALEXA AT THE END. “Hmmmm yes Schedule an appointment for me will you?”#And its scheduled for the the afternoon of the next day too. He's not in any rush. Let Mephone sit with it a while.#And of course he's not going to be too pressed if the repair gets put off for a day. or two. He's a busy guy.#He has better things to do than clean up what Mephones brought on himself.
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im a child of divorce
#the bit is over when i say its over and even when its so joever for these two its not over for me!!! (once again i am on heavy copium)#anyway. thoughts behind the spoiler tags#gempearl#shiny duo#wild life smp#life series spoilers#wild life spoilers#i feel like. i actually was expecting that#no but its so funny the one time the negative consequences of something does actually get acknowledged its the SL finale ‘betrayal’/j#like cmon fuck me i guess/j (BIG EMPHASIS. ON THE SLASH J. OKAY.)#but honestly though i did expect Gem to hold a grudge over the 2v1 in SL. and. its good that there are consequences???#it IS a ‘betrayal’ in Gem’s eyes. they were friends. they were murder besties for the last two sessions and then Pearl chose Scar over her#and its awesome man. [through gritted teeth] this is awesome man this will be good for character development ok ok ok. ok?#its also got something to do with Pearl having the red creep in. i think#because during SL Gem was like. nearly idolising the Scarlet Pearl persona while vaguely aware that her own reputation has a similar effect#and yknow. the horrors. the fact that their image is so heavily built on what others deem them to be and they can only play into it#but by the end of SL Gem gets ‘betrayed’ by this persona that she looked up to#and also her own ‘GeminiSlay’ intimidating image is also starting to fall apart. partly of her own will#and now shes watching Pearl slowly turn red again. and this time she knows its not good for her or Pearl#so shes distancing herself from it. shes ‘trying to fix her reputation’. she sees Pearl falling into it again and just. no. i dont love you#you betrayed me last season#but on Pearl’s end of things she’s already deep into the idea that as long as you say you ‘forgive’ someone then everything thats happened#in the past doesn’t matter and they can all be friends. and nooo absolutely no grudges will be held. no emotional repression here#so. because thats happened to her in her own team she thinks the same can happen with her and Gem#and thats so. im going to blow myself up now
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₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁ (°◡°♡) . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ .
#the trainee the series#the trainee series#the trainee ep10#janeryan#jane x ryan#offgun#off jumpol#gun atthaphan#gmmtv#thai bl#bl drama#ngl was pretty shocked about the taebahmee thing lol#i did not expect that all#im torn about it#like where is this story going exactly#and also these 2 are still going steady and by steady i mean slow lmao#2 eps left#hmmmmm
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help
Kiko, of course, is @k1k0oftheworld
#DID NOT EXPECT I'D EVER DRAW SOMETHING LIKE THIS BUT HERE WE ARE#bro what do I even tag this as#suggestive#tw suggestive#for the butt hugging thing I guess??? damn Uzi go off#ghfjdk hELP#GETS OBLITERATED BUT THEN COMES BACK TEN SECONDS LATER#murder drones n#murder drones uzi#nuzi#HELP HELP HELP GHFJDKS#murder drones#I'M SORRY HELPPPPP
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thinking of how renee gives andrew her knives (protection) and jean her cross necklace (faith), being the first person to give them what they needed most.
#thinking about renee being andrew’s friend when he had no one#believing he was a good person when everyone thought he was a monster#believing it enough to give him the tools to do horrible things (she knows what can be done with knives) and teaching him to use them#thinking about renee and jean being the right people wrong time#and how she acknowledges it because if she can be the right person for jean someone else can#but doesn’t ask for anything or expect anything#what a little tragedy amidst the big ones#and she drives all night to drag him out of hell and stops him from going back and tells him she’s proud of him#had anyone ever told jean they were proud of him?#had anyone ever told andrew he deserved to be protected?#neil did later and jeremy will but renee was the first#renee walker#andrew minyard#renee walker/jean moreau#jean moreau#all for the game#aftg#the sunshine court#tsc
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