#They're trying to kill me aren't they ???
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starry-bi-sky · 30 days ago
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pouring one out for luo binghe in my disciple SQQ fic, poor guy has taken a backseat here. we're nearly 30k words deep and he hasn't even shown his face once. it'll be much longer before he even actually talks to Shen Qingqiu.
(i say im pouring one out but in reality im sitting in my director's chair chewing on a cigar and wearing a beret as he tearily and unsuccessfully pleads with me for more scenes with Shen Qingqiu)
#svsss#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#SQQ: building his found family on QJP and Plotting#LBH: idk off sniffing rocks somewhere while on one of his protagonist adventures#i say im pouring one out for him but in reality im laughing at him. sorry my guy you are just NOT my priority. be a better peak lord#tell your disciples to stop with the institutionalized peak hierarchy and the internal political intrigue and MAYBE we'll talk#oh he cant hear me he's wearing airpods. welp. *stares at LQG and YQY* more SQQ time for you then!#its funny because i do love bingqiu i just decided to write a fic exploring a roleswap concept i saw where LBH wasnt a good peak lord#and the concept itself didnt explore what consequences might occur if LBH was as inactive a PL as LQG was before redeeming him#like if BZP can go lord of the flies while unsupervised what happens if you leave QJP the same way?? political court intrigue and sabotage#being the protagonist and going on many adventures is great and all.... if you aren't tied down with the responsibilities of a peak lord.#binghe. binghe. binghe. binghe. your head disciple has instated a hierarchy on your peak and routinely sabotages the cultivation of the#junior disciples by actively disrupting their learning by sending them off to do menial chores that should be distributed equally across#the peak. binghe. he's gonna get someone killed. binghe. BINGHE. you're inadvertently creating a generation of cultivators who harbor#resentment against you specifically bc you failed to care and protect them as their shizun. BINGHE. DO YOU HEAR ME? BINGHE#oop. i guess not. SQQ time to organize a covert resistance group. i mean a secret study group that also doubles as an organization dedicate#to ruining Li Tao's reputation and standing amongst the rest of the sect. by boys! have fun storming the castle!#tldr unsweetened lemonade is: 'i force SQQ into a position of no power where keeping his head down is not an option bc neither the system#+ nor his surrounding peakmates will let him fade into the BG. and there's no LBH around for him to wifebeam into the Fave Disciple spot'#its also a 'SY and SJ are the same person' fic bc i love the trope and having a disciple SY where he's also SJ is such a specific niche#that i'll just have to write it myself in order to see it. im having a blast with it. im gonna give him SO much found family.#liushen and yueshen(? qijiu?) are fighting for 1st while poor bingqiu is trying to claw its way out of 3rd with minimal success#good fucking luck babe you gotta fight SQQ's seven evil disciples first. THEN you gotta fight Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan.#and then you gotta fight me. romance isnt even in the cards for this fic they're fighting for the SUBTEXT.#roll for disadvantge binghe
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sapphicfandompirate · 18 days ago
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I think Vizie just ripped my heart and stuffed it to display on the mantle...
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dead-salmon · 1 month ago
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amazing how in the span of like a month you could see 3 different liberal democracies almost collapse in on themselves: germany's coalition broke apart bc one of the partys decided that a coup attempt with a paper called d-day would work wonders for their polls, france's parliament is trying to get rid of it's shitty prime minister so hard the left and right are cooperating, south korea's president decided to try a military coup as choice of tantrum-response to likely getting impeached
but no, there definitely isn't some issue in the current political system
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kalashnikovlobotomy · 16 days ago
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we've got rusame, amecanrus, ameruschu...but hear me out, amerorus. i'm pretty bad at elaborating my ideas, esp in english, but the potential is insaneee. esp during the revolution of 89' and the aftermath.....
you don't have to elaborate anon i can hear this out better than anyone else. in fact im growing a third eardrum just for this. i am your guy.
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hajihiko · 2 years ago
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I've seen a few people talk about how much smoother things would have gone for the cast if they had A Mature Conversation about things, but like. they're teenagers. Not only that, they're all gifted kid teenagers who also have Issues (except Hajime who only has the Issues). How capable do you think they are of going 'alright now boys we need to talk about your misogyny' or somesuch
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maudiemoods · 2 years ago
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Yayyyy a solid design for my vampire oc yayyyay
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Idk what they do and any kind of story line but I really love them so I'll think of something somehow jsnrkaksjsj also, in my last post, he looked really young but I changed them to an adult. Soooo that first drawing is what they would look like as a child I guess? I had already finished coloring it when I realized how childish they look djjsjdjsjs also they have a cat. Maybe they'll have a cat ranch and rescue them and find good homes for them.
Also close ups because yayyyy
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pa-pa-plasma · 4 months ago
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one of the things that will always destroy me is people believing that good story = darker/more mature/more sexual. this belief has ruined so many stories that could have been amazing & has prevented almost everyone from enjoying other really good stories simply because the age range it's aimed at is one they believe can't have complex themes, characters, plot, etc etc. they don't believe they can be moved by something a publisher or studio decided is for kids & so write it off without even thinking about it. biggest curse of being a writer who actually loves stories & telling them is that literally no one else cares in the most pessimistic, higher-than-thou, capitalism brainrot way you can imagine. & it's all automatic. because that's just what you're taught.
#like people who love all kids media uncritically is another problem#but i find an even bigger one is people not believing animated stuff & younger age range stuff can impact you#like imagine trying to explain something you love so much it makes you cry#& every single time people react as if you told them something batshit off the walls insane like you only eat dirt or something#& they need to help you because there is clearly something wrong with you#& no matter how you explain it they always look at you like a crazy person#i feel like no matter what the kinds of art i love will always get shoved to the back of the closet#how i explain the hopelessness of trying to convince someone they're allowed to watch cartoons#but they're adamant they aren't because they're ''too old for that kind of thing''#it really makes me want to cry. & it makes me angry#anyways this is all to say that the minecraft movie is bad because people are afraid to interact with silly things in good faith#& complete 100% seriousness. they cannot take a concept like minecraft seriously#& so they can't see what it's REALLY about#it's not just haha silly block animal & because they can't see it as it is without the filter of ''for kids''#it will be a bad movie. & it won't represent everything everyone who grew up with that game sees in it#i hate seeing a huge problem & either no one else sees it or they do but just don't care because they don't think it's a problem#it IS a problem. it's a HUGE problem that people think they're not allowed to play or have fun or interact with silly concepts seriously#please take shit seriously i'm crying & i'm begging. we could have had something beautiful#people's inability to acknowledge beauty just because the setting is. in their eyes. for kids. is literally ruining art#& i'm gonna start killing about it#Animorphs save me............................................
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witheredgardenparty · 17 days ago
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Every now and then I see the discourse circulate on this hellsite, and I wonder if people know that the term 'yandere' used to have an extremely specific definition that no longer holds up to how people use it today
#I'm old enough to remember the original 'yangiri' discourse someone help me.#I don't have answers for this okay it's one of those things where if enough time and people change the definition of something there's not#much can be done about it. This isn't a call to action or anything. Just an old person talking from a rocking chair.#There's a reason I call what I write 'soft' but it's actually a lot closer to 'classic'.#Anyway that very specific original definition was something like: “so in love it made them sick”#Which often got interpreted as “insecure” or “overprotected” depending on the genre.#A big part of the ending would be either the yan killing themself; their competition; or -- and this is not a joke--#“true love would cure them”#(I don't like that one. I like it when the darling manipulates their yan but that's my personal predilection.)#You can see why some authors might play that for laughs instead of drama#in a uhhhhh sitcom-ish kind of way. Overbearing wife. Guard dog husband. Be careful. He bites.#Anyway the whole “yans hurting their darlings” wasn't unheard of but it wasn't common either? It was an outburst at the world#not an outburst at the love interest. Why won't they just let us be together? I'll make them! They can't get in between us!#At least hurting the darling wasn't the point. Yans aren't meant to be a 1 to 1 for being in an abusive relationship.#It's more about what if someone has too many emotions for one person and they're overflowing.#I dunno. Whenever I hear younger yan fans talk about it it's like “don't quote the scripture at me” kind of feeling#“That's not what yandere is” I was into yandere before you could read. Back when we had dial-up. Leave me alone in my retirement home.#And this is not a kink shaming thing if you're into the whole show of force because of whatever horror-based reason that's your thing#I get it. I really do. But this one is an actual rant about missing the point of the original text:#The whole thing about breaking legs to keep someone around actually meant something when it was a teenage girl trying to dominate a much#larger boy or man. When it's a man doing it to a girl it looses the meaning of the text. Like I get that for most people that's not what#they're going for. But the original usage was doing something. It was supposed to make the powerful feel powerless.#(and to remind people teenage girls are terrifying)
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ok i am trying SO HARD to withhold judgement until all of it is out but may i just say that i love how almost every major character in ahsoka is female and i haven't seen a SINGLE dudebro come crawling out of a basement to complain about it.
just. it feels good.
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sskk-manifesto · 4 months ago
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What a good episode. Maaaaaan
#I can't even start I'd be here forever#It did take me in fact like one hour total to watch it lmoa. It sooooo good!!! The animation is very good#(albeit it's awfully low on brightness at times. But such seems to be the sin of lot of recent media unfortunately)#but I'm not even going to dwell on that. The plot / storytelling is so good. Sooooo god. I adore this arc.#Love the symbolism. I've been saying this for almost two years now (is it really been that long ever since these episodes came out... ) but#I want to write an analysis on the op & ed so baddd. The emphasis on the twilight this episode!!#Like the sun was setting on the detective agency. I love love love the hd. They're so cool in this episode and they're so cool in general.#I ADORE Jouno. I don't feel particularly strongly for sue/giku yet their scenes are so cute and funny. I see why people ship them.#Even Tetchou I don't usually care much about is so !!!!! I love all the hd so much fr!!!!!!!!!!#I love love love Jouno. Like much like it is for Akutagawa I'm very weak for characters that aren't really good people.#But they're still trying to be a better person than they were. And oftentimes they end up doing a terrible job!!#But the fact alone that they're //trying// has me ougheueueueu. Here in this episode you can see Jouno–#sliping very easily in his cruel / sadistic habits. But he is trying to be a person that cares for others! He made good actions in the past#and he will again in the future even though right now he's acting like this! Because improvement isn't linear! I love him tonsss#And DON'T get me started on the ada. Yosano's “Welcome” scene. I love women. I love women. Yosano please one chance#KENJI'S SCENE God I needed this. How could I forget the way this literllyyyyy rewinded my brain when I read the manga for the first time.#That scene is so deep and poignant and so so meaningful I. Oughhh#I am going to run out of tags am I not#Kyouka saving Atsushi!!!!!!! That scene is one of my all time favourites. It makes me soft to remember when the s4 trailer dropped–#I was so overjoyed for that bit of them holding hands :') Rightfully so!!! It's so cute.#Her coming back to save Atsushi. The “don't worry– I didn't kill them” direct towards Atsushi–#that is so so Akutagawa and it sends me insane hhhhhhgggggggggg#Kunikida!!!!! His “I'm not leaving anyone behind”!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not precisely Kunikida's first fan but aaaaaahhh he makes me feel–#so much for him in this scene!!!!! Mmmhhh one last note would be. It bugs me a little how the ada is defined terrorist by the military–#forces starting this episode? I don't have space to elaborate properly but. An action to be considered terrorism must have clear political–#orientation and goal. Violence alone isn't enought to be defined terrorism. It's an incorrect use of the word#Up to the next episode!!! Can't wait to see more Atsushi 🥰🥰#random rambles#It's late now and probably most are asleep rn... Then I'll be queing my posts for tomorrow probably
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unproduciblesmackdown · 4 months ago
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another day another "applying the concept 'disposability' to 'someone withdraws from a personal relationship, & that wasn't signed off on by the other'" kill me
#literal acknowledged interpersonal abuse Needing to be ''mediated'' (implicit premise of preserving that relationship >>>)#and if the victim doesn't participate they're treating their abusive partner / abusive relationship as ''disposable''#like in what meaningful way. getting away from an abuser is ''disposing'' of them like imprisonment / killing From A State?#dropping an abusive relationship is ''disposing'' of it? like uh yeah i sure hope it is#this is always Vaguely Applied to ''ppl don't want to HANDLE CONFLICTS or DO THE WORK'' & then connected to political actions#like well someone's just a bad person In The World / All Things if they stopped being my friend and i don't know why#like of course that Can Be good faith. it's a personal business#but if someone ghosts you and you truly don't know why Yeah maybe there's something going on but like okay let them go#if they want to do that for reasons you don't think are Compelling or they just aren't interested / putting in that Effort then like#what Friendship is really being lost here. but then tweet about it with no context & a zillion ppl like SO TRUE kys randos#[fart reverb Conflict Is Not Abuse] standard abuse apologetics which are easy & a zillion ppl go SO TRUE b/c It's Abuse Culture#someone HAS to Answer My Texts / Calls / In Person Confrontations As A Bold Clearsighted Political Actor are you kidding#someone really doesn't. even if you Really are like ''and i'm not even consciously malicious'' what a high bar#one gazillion abusive parents will tell you And My Estranged Child Won't Even Tell Me Why / Doesn't Have Any Good Reasons / Won't Talk....#what am i supposed to doooo i'm at a losssss And Really I'm The Victim#''i want to break up'' / ''okay i don't :) let's talk through Your Feelings :) [waffle around until insisting on Same Access To Person]''#someone can rescind interpersonal access to themself For Any / No Reason. on a dime no explanation necessary. for god's sake#and friendship is not actually some magically pure & Neutral relationship either. same things#anyway just unfollowed some rando for their thread spinning off a vague qrt ''ppl are so AFRAID OF CONFRONTATION they unfriend u''#going on & on abt how You Need To Put In The Work & Effort & You're Just Probably A Bad Person Otherwise & Disposability like#the disposability is my three points wastebasket toss. death via the state =/= someone won't talk to you. can we be at all serious#every day i reach out further like aplatonic people [some emblem gesture] lovelessness [same] help me#thinking of a Good Tweet i saw abt framing everything re: interactions with others around Consideration first & foremost#wildly enough the way you treat people doesn't need to have Fundamental Assumptions re: like ah Friendship / Community / Love / Family &ccc#how do you treat a stranger. how do you treat someone who you don't personally like &/or vice versa. how do you treat ppl you don't Meet.#it's all so vague it could mean Anything but a) often hints towards [abuse victims are framed as Bad Political Actors]#& b) then that's what people read into & respond to for sure lol#as ever ''oh everyone's just little bitches who can't handle any discomfort. yes; this was prompted by my being discomfited''#wait yeah lol i did not Confront this stranger to try to Posit this to them in twttr's character limit; just unfollowed. disposability smh
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anarcho-masochist · 1 year ago
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Okay, I thought this was universal but maybe my last three therapists were right that it is not:
Is it normal for boredom to be truly unbearable?
As in, worse than anything else, would rather get eviscerated while fully conscious, will do anything to escape it which might actually include suicide if no satisfactory options are available?
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wizardnuke · 8 months ago
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now a dnd party with a strong bond and synergy is great and all and i'm confident that my party will get there but as of right now only about 5-6 sessions in we've had multiple shouting fights, countless threats, and one instance of pvp. now. i hope this changes. me and one guy are sort of working to fix that. but it's so fun don't discount the joys of you and your friends pretending to hate each other
#william is arlocks apprentice no one has an issue with william other than that he's a giant gecko and we dont know if he needs pants or not#arlock is. arlock is a giant situation of a human soul that was beamed into a robot body in a failed ritual to put a god in there#old enough to be avalon's dad. likes to think he's intimidating (he IS avalon just doesn't CARE)#he and avalon have an uneasy truce because they realized they have similar situations#azazel is possibly not of this realm but very sweet and told us what he knows so he's okay. similarly alister seems to be pretty up front#id say they're the normalest but that is extremely situational. they know how to communicate. alister is a bloodhunter/cleric so. shrugs#hanari is jester if jester was a mad scientist. arlock Liked hanari and then got put off by their tricks and riddles#meanwhile avalon thinks hanari is the funniest mf in the world (also i'm just super close to hanari's player and i think she's hilarious)#saint/mav the rogue-barbarian jekyll/hyde normal man and infernal patron in a human body that's a little nuked#he turns into the hulk when he's mad. saint is also very nice. maz is. maz sure is. he likes hanari and azazel#arlock and azazel got into a fistfight but it was my fault 👍 i wasn't At Fault tho. me and arlock talked afterwards hes essentially a vet#avalon's just a rat bastard. unreliable narrator#there is so much potential in here we just need to learn how to not put each other on edge#thinks about last session where we spent an hour yelling at each other on how to handle an imp that wasn't supposed to be there for that#long. our poor dm. we keep catching little demons and trying to befriend them#me and arlock are gonna kill that thing when maz and hanari aren't looking tho
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apocalypticdemon · 1 year ago
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being friends with someone who constantly throws pity parties for themselves is fucking exhausting.
#this isn't about anyone that follows me here or that i follow here.#but i have a friend in a group where just..... every time someone says something good about us as a group#they feel the need to put themselves down on main and interrupt the conversation.#it's fucking tiring.#the comment was 'i can't believe we're all academics' and i responded 'it's wild but great'#and then they just go 'i feel really dumb but i guess i'm an academic sometimes' and then the convo gets derailed#like the two of us were literally celebrating that we're all nerdy academics together but now it's managing their emotions on how stupid-#-they feel.#i am so tired. this happens all the time.#i get it. i get it. when i had horrid self-esteem (as if i don't have that now) i felt the need to do this#but like. it's not productive and it's killed the vibe. and i wish they would knock it off but it's unfortunately a pattern of behavior#that happens all the time. and i wish i knew what to do about it bc it's getting on my nerves.#like i said. nobody here is doing this. this is a different person. if you think it's about you No It Isn't#(and if you think you know who i'm talking about no you don't)#idk i just wind up in the position of talking them down all the time and trying to steer them in a more positive direction#and i'm running out of energy for it and it's wearing on me.#they're fun to talk to sometimes but i think over the last few years i've turned into their therapist friend.#'how do i ask someone out' 'do i drop my crush bc i haven't confessed and they aren't acting the way i'd hoped'#'why do i feel like shit all the time' idk man stop fucking asking me#i'm not cut out for this. One Single Class stressed me out so badly i wound up in therapy again. like. i'm Unqualified.#and i'm dissatisfied that i'm stuck in this role and idk how to get out of it
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elytrafemme · 1 year ago
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everyone please manifest that i wake up a normal person tomorrow because i am treacherously close to going on a fucking warpath
#nightmare.personal#omg ha ha ha classes are starting soon orientation is over isn't this going to be so fun <- on the verge of killing someone#it's not even classes that's the issue it's the fact that college is like. oh time to reinvent yourself#but like that's so not working. people aren't LIKING me.#and it's not that people hate me like i've made good connections with a decent group of people#spent all day with these two guys basically. my roommates seem to appreciate me. have a few others in the bag.#but they're not liking me that much. like. okay. i'm just going to say this#because i have a girlfriend i don't WANT people to try shit with me#and because i have a girlfriend people DON'T want to try shit with me#and that is The Fucking Problem I Think#because i can't feel attractive if nobody is telling me i'm attractive#because it sounds so. fake. from my girlfriend. like she obviously doesn't see it. obviously.#but people finding me attractive is the basis of how i can function as a human being#it's so fucking frustrating. i'm doing EVERYTHING i can. i'm being adaptable and spontaneous and reliable#and i'm funny and honest and i'm validating. i'm hitting everything.#and it's not working well enough. and classes will start and nobody's going to give a shit anymore#and it's like if i killed myself or something literally nobody here would care. because we don't know each other yet#and nobody at home would know for a handful of days aside from my family like obviously they exist so that's an issue#also i like being alive so that's kind of the main barrier to this plan but the point stands that like#something could happen to me and nobody would care#also side note it's really cool that i've balanced online stuff and real life stuff so now#i barely talk to the people i know online who would actually support me and mostly talk to real life people who probably wouldn't#isn't that so cool. hashtag living. being on tumblr makes me actually want to kill myself i want to delete discord SO bad#because that actually wouldn't make a difference for more than like 3 people here. what's my argument actually i'm contradicting myself#the reason i'm not being liked is because i'm not a likable person and that is definitely the crux of this issue#but if people don't start wanting me right now it's actually going to be so bad for so many people#if i go into college with no friends i cannot express to you in words how much i will take down with me#i will library of alexandria myself i do not even care. someone call me attractive and mean it. give me a fucking chance#suicide tw
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naivety · 2 years ago
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having a bad time looking at which states within a days drive of me would be safe to move to
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