#They're allowed to be wrong about something

[aquaglow]

one of the easiest ways to practice self-love is by avoiding self-hatred.

I think most people have difficulty understanding how to craft a practice of self-love because they believe it's just something you feel, something that pops in your head one day and follows you forever. wrong! self-love is a skill, something that can only come from constant vigilance, practice, and like any other skill, consistent action. and one of these essential actions is to avoid self-hatred. but how to do it? here's some tips.

STOP WITH THE SELF-DEPRECATING "JOKES" & SPEECH. words are more important than you think! they are the way we have to translate thought into language, and they are the primary way through which we digest our reality. if you're constantly trash-talking and dissing yourself (even if you've convinced yourself it's all in good humor or just a harmless coping mechanism) you can trust & believe you're only reinforcing negative notions about yourself. nothing good comes from constantly bad-mouthing yourself.

CARE FOR YOUR PHYSICAL HEALTH. it's hard to love a body that is constantly failing you or making you feel pain. be honest and check yourself constantly. are you well-fed (both in quantity as well as in quality)? are you hydrated? have you showered? have you stretched, moved a bit? how's your breath? how's your posture? how's your hair, nails, skin? your body needs to be healthy to carry a healthy mind and soul.

STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. if you're always letting people walk over you, mute you, dismiss you, ignore you, soon you'll be believing that they're right in doing so. if you're constantly allowing yourself to be swallowed by embarrassing, awkward, depreciative situations, you'll soon believe that those are where you belong. the only way to avoid this is by standing up for yourself and not allowing others or avoidable circumstances to rule over you. insecurity will always turn into hatred if allowed to run wild.

BE LESS IMPULSIVE AND REACTIVE. if you give your thoughts more time to grow, if you give yourself time to reflect, if you slow down, you'll have less regrets, you'll have less frustrations, you'll have less shame, you'll have less doubts. practice the arts of replying later, of thinking long before you speak, of listening more than you talk, of letting yourself have a night's sleep before taking any choices and decisions.

CUT TIES WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT. this is an obvious one but probably the hardest, right? if you are always surrounded by people, whether they are friends, family, romantic and/or sexual partners, colleagues who make you feel inferior, you'll soon drown in their negativity and believe you deserve to be mistreated. avoiding people who hate on you is probably the hardest but one of the most necessary steps to avoiding self-hatred.

and remember, girls: self-love is not an aesthetic, it's not a choice, and it's not a personality trait. self-love is a matter of survival. it's non-negotiable and it should be your utmost priority in life! 💘

[animentality]

I know x reader fans have always existed, and I don't generally mind them.

however I feel like the way they've overtaken fandom analysis/ shipping culture is an indication of the general decline of fandom communities.

they are normies, guys. I'm sorry.

it's not a slur, it's just a fact.

normies infiltrated fandom spaces because of covid.

they come in and just want to thirst after a particular character... and that's like. fine. of course it's fine it's always happened.

but they don't seem to actually care about the character being in character. nor does it really require any analysis of that character's motivations or story, or their relationship with others.

I know not everything HAS to relate to canon. like duh, we are here to make our own canon.

but come the fuck on. I go into a tag and it has a character tagged being some dommy daddy when that character is nothing like that in canon... and there's this line between making a character act a certain way bc that's your fetish, and completely ignoring who that character is entirely to the point where you could just replace their name with anyone else in any other show, and it wouldn't make a difference?

like that's... normie shit. it's people who do not think deeply or passionately about that media, it's just them having this surface level grasp of the physical attractiveness of the character.

and again. I'm not saying these people are stupid or whatever, just that the overabundance of this watered down ass content is an indicator of how much fandom has changed.

fans are not the socially awkward introverted queer voyeurs anymore, who enjoy fantasies and daydreaming about being someone else because of this disconnect with the self, or this fear of others that leads you to seek human connection in fiction.

they're the people who do just fine with other people ... and I'm not gatekeeping fandom from people who aren't socially awkward or anything.

but they come here, and they do shit like say you can't like this ship bc it's morally wrong .. you're not allowed to thirst after an 18 year old that makes you a pedophile... I'm 15 and I'm allowed to lust for Gojo but you a 25 year old woman, aren't allowed to write itafushi fanfiction.

go back to taxes and your job!!!

like that drives me fucking insane. these people want to insist they're not normies but they then go around insisting that being over 20 means you need to Work and Be a Normal Adult... bitch.

adults make fandoms. not you fucking children. you don't know how to build communities, you barely know how to make friends.

attacking people who like the same thing you do? is that what you think community building is?

oh this poor generation. anyway.

they come here and are disgusted by weird fetishes and obsessions. and by people sharing sexual headcanons or ideas about sexuality that make them uncomfortable because they've never ever been counter culture, they've never felt the need to go against the status quo.

they're cis straight girls/women mostly, whose mothers basically fuel the ya spicy romance booktok industry.

they're just younger and think it's trendier to be "in a fandom" than a fucking book club.

they're modern day bodice ripper fans... which again

would be so fucking fine, if they weren't doing the youth version of karening the fuck out.

and flooding the fandom with both hyper criticism of how you conduct your business AND an aggressive market for just imagining yourself with a character.

like fandom was originally just hyper passionate freaks.

they discussed movies and TV shows like life and death. they were fucking nuts but in the way where they needed to seek one another out, to share in this joyous sensation of being a freak obsessed with something beyond the point of reason.

now?

now it's like ... oh.

Sally from Bio thinks your love of Gaara is super creepy when you're 19. like what, are you a pedophile? why are you imagining him getting married to Naruto? are you a fucking pedophile who gets off to teens making out? they need to check your hard drive!!

like ok Sally.

ok.

I just think x reader is such a strong indicator of what kind of fan you are.

and if a fandom is mostly x reader... then it can't be that popular. it can't be a proper community.

how can it be?

it's as watered down and generic and bland as a marvel movie. it's stripped down of anything unique. it is pruned of controversy and humanity.

you are literally stripping yourself down into a non character.

you're not truly projecting yourself into a character, because the you that you read about is nothing. a placeholder. you are a passive observing robot who exists only in the form of a faceless and personality less entity.

and I don't get it.

what's the point then?

isn't fiction about realizing something about yourself or others

if your only manner of engaging is stripping yourself of personality... is it engagement at all?

or is it just more mindless consumption?

just watch law and order, man.

watch the good doctor or some shit on lifetime.

there's shows with passionate fanbases who theory craft and endlessly obsess with relationships and world building, and then there's shows with x reader only content and you know exactly why now.

[hellsquills]

Here's the things about only feeling anxiety when you're safe:

You really have to feel like your finally safe. And that takes time.

What Stan felt after Ford returned wasn't safety, but relief. For 30 years all he felt was hope, numbness, pain, anger... but not safety. Nor relief.

When Stanford returns, it's relief, then anger, then pain, then numbness. Never safety. He's happy he's back, but he doesn't feel safe, because they aren't on good terms. It's not like he feels at danger, but it's uneasiness. And being uneasy doesn't make you feel safe at all.

Of course, after the memory wipe, it changes. First for the better, then for the worse. Because first come the good ones (his family, his kids employees, his childhood), then the bad ones (literally everything else), and Stan starts wondering whether he actually died and reincarnated, punished to remember every single sin he committed in his past life. He quickly discards the idea; even so, if that were the case, in this new life he has his family, which he didn't in the previous one. Those memories can come back if they want, because he's not alone to face them anymore.

And then the kids leave. And Stanford stays, and stays close, never leaving his side. And even though he's thankful, something in the back of his mind insists that he needs to be alert, in case the other shoe drops (which will happen). Stan is happy, he's as happy as he ever thought he could be, but he still doesn't feel safe. Maybe he never will.

The twins go sailing, after making sure Stan is okay and more in control of his memories, and things take some time to adjust to, but they manage. They sail, and fish, and hunt, and bicker, and laugh, and bond. They're both the happiest they've ever been, and they're not afraid to show the fact that they need each other. They're the reason for each other's happiness, after all, and damn it if they won't make their brother know that, one way or another.

It's been around a year, and the initial thrill of a weekly near-death encounter wears off. They love it, of course, but they also want time to enjoy life. So they look for less threatening anomalies and study those, and every once in a while they'll go looking for the jackpot. It's a nice, paused rhythm that allows them some peace and quiet, time on their own, and time together. It's a perfect balance.

It is then, when they're doing whatever in silence, that something strikes Stan. He has to blink a few times, but the sensation is still there. All of a sudden, the world slows down, and he needs a moment to look around. He doesn't feel dizzy, but it's a strange feeling, a new one. He doesn't like it.

Ford notices the change and asks him, and Stan says it's nothing. Ford reminds him they said not to downplay their worries anymore, but Stan doesn't know what else to say. It's literally nothing. Nothing bad, nothing good either. Just nothing at all.

It's like the curtain dropped and the show ended, and there's no applause. What is a showman supposed to do after the curtain falls?

He doesn't understand why he feels like this, but it frustrates him to no end. He starts having anxiety attacks for apparently no reason, other than not knowing what's wrong with him. Ford tells him it's a normal reaction to decades of accumulated stress, but Stan already knows that. He's frustrated because these consequences had 40 years to appear, and yet they decided to surface right when he finally has a happy life. He feels like shit because he isn't supposed to feel like shit, not now. He's wasted 40 years having a shitty life and now he's probably gonna feel like shit because of it for the rest of his life. And if that weren't enough, Ford is worried about him. Worried and frustrated, because he can't rip these feelings out of his head. All he can do is stay near and comfort him as best as he can.

However, as time goes on, Stan starts feeling better. The numbness dissipates, and he doesn't feel like he's on autopilot mode again (god he's always hated being like that). Eventually, he becomes more aware of himself and everything around him, and he finds himself laughing and crying with genuine emotions.

Eventually, Stan feels like himself again. His best himself to date.

Sometimes the body does not allow itself to breakdown, to panic, until the very moment you are safe.

Could you imagine? Stanley living on survival all these years, never stopping long enough to panic or cry or feel.

Then, his twin returns and for a moment he thinks it's over, he can feel a build up, a hammering in his chest and a stinging in his eyes and- BAM. A punch.

It isn't until they're out at sea, that when he gets hurt and actually gets taken care of, that his body registers that he is safe. At last.

[genderqueerdykes]

okay i’ve been wondering about this for a while. i’ve seen a lot of fandom discourse that headcanoning a character who’s commonly accepted as transfem in fandom as a genderweird trans in all directions nb person is transfem erasure. is this true? i haven’t really thought so‚ but i might just be biased as a nb transmasc myself. (common examples include john egbert)

hello there, thanks for stopping by!

i am definitely the wrong person to ask about this, i am very sorry. i do not participate in fandom at all, i don't engage with much fiction and when i do, i don't get into it that much. my brain doesn't really latch on to fiction like it did when i was a kid. i still play games and watch anime here and there but i don't interact with fandoms, so i apologize for that. i find them to be genuinely uncomfortable and unsafe environments to be in due to being intersex and biracial. fandom spaces unfortunately tend to be extremely racist & intersexist. i had friends who were heavily involved in fandom as a teenager and i felt very unsafe due to the sheer amount of fetishiziation of intersex bodies that goes on in fandom spaces.

this is simply an outsider's perspective, but i don't really see fandoms as "representation" that can be "erased" because it's all conjecture and everyone has such wildly different opinions on what a character is or is not. it's not representation if it's not confirmed. if it's just a headcanon it's not representation, as it was not confirmed and thus is conjecture and speculation. i might be wildly off base as an outsider, but i always kinda thought the point of fandom was for everyone to express how they interact with that piece of media uniquely, and spread and share their thoughts and opinions? why are people trying to control how other people interact with a piece of fiction that they did not make...?

that seems antithetical to the idea of fandom. i thought it was supposed to be a fun hobby? again maybe i just *don't* get it as an outsider, but it makes no sense to me to try to control someone else's internal opinion on something that quite literally is not real. like at the end of the day none of these people are real, you can't hurt their feelings you're not 'erasing' anyone here, they're literally not real, and if it's only a headcanon that that person is transfem... then you're not. erasing. a transfem character, it's just conjecture. it doesn't matter what gender or sexuality you see them as because you're free to think and feel those ways in your head. you're allowed to engage in those thought experiments because that person quite literally is not real so it's okay to speculate on their identity. it's not okay to do this to another live person but if they're fictional who... cares?

this may sound really harsh but i need to stress to people that fictional characters are not real human beings, and stressing out over their genders or sexuality does nothing to help you. you can't hurt their feelings. you can't erase a transfem that isn't confirmed to be transfem. a headcanon is just that: a personal opinion. it shouldn't come to the point where it causes distress and fighting. this is a hobby, it is not one's entire life. i would recommend just blocking and not engaging with people who try to police how you interact with leisure behaviors. i don't think there's one true way to be "Right" about these kinds of things because it's literally all conjecture

also sorry, i have no idea who that character is! i don't know very many fictional characters by name so i can't lend any input there, apologies. for the future, if anyone is curious about my feelings on these sorts of things about other characters, i unfortunately cannot help you as there's a near 100% chance i am not familiar with them and can't lend any input

how can an opinion be right or wrong ... ? that just doesn't make sense to me. it's all opinion. it's not worth hurting other people over or yelling at each other. i'm sorry that i can't give you a more informed opinion, but i thought maybe an outsider's perspective could help somewhat. i hope this is somewhat informative or helpful to you at all- i honestly don't think it's right for people to try to control each others' headcanons because that is quite literally thought policing and i am not here for that. anyway, take care of yourself! thanks for stopping by :)

[windsweptinred]

I'm a simultaneous believer in: 

All of fandom should read the source material. Know about this amazing book/comic only character. Know about this event/piece of lore. Because look how it changes our perception of this character. Look how it fleshes out the universe they inhabit. Look at how this multi issue arc answers so many fandom questions. Look at how these chapters provide a deep dive into a character's motivation. In a way no amount of posts or Wikipedia skim reads is going to get across. 

And 

You don't have to read the source material. No matter how similar, tv/film adaptations can be classed as their own separate canon. And if that's all you ever want to interact with, that's your right. Not everyone has time to devour a book/comic series or can afford it. And more than anything, you have a right to not have the story spoiled. Never feel pressured to read ahead, just so you're up to date with other parts of fandom. They had their chance to guess at how the plot would unfold. Make bad/ incorrect takes based on what they knew of a character's arc at the time. So do you.

I'd always highly recommend you read the source material, if you can. But NEVER allow fandom to pressure you into it. You have every right to enjoy this thing you love the way you want to.  

[nocofamilyau]

total drama moment (4/8)

[fallenangelofsalt]

*slowly raises hand like im in class*

I personally think TDL is in the wrong about a LOT of things, but I would like to point out that him going to attack stickfigures after those rampages or the fight with TCO is also pure speculation. Sure, he's shown to be a lot more likely to do that than TCO, but then why is the city nearby not in ruins yet? And the thing about all sites being used by humans, the point is that none of the sites shown as Virabot targets are sites likely to have stickfigures in them. What is a stick gonna do in twitter?

And why the heck would he NOT think the CG is working for Alan? That cursor came from SOMEWHERE and the CG are the only other unexpected factor in the mix, of course he would think so, and Orange is very obviously a hollowhead, something that only Alan's creations have in common.

I don't think his hatred towards Alan was ever about Chosen, if your creator gave you an impossible task that you had no idea how badly could go for you, and then just kept playing solitaire while you are left at the mercy of someone who had every right to kill you then and there, wouldn't YOU be mad?

I don't think he was ever in the right with the things he did, exept maybe throwing that Virabot at Alan's PC considering he had no way of knowing there were stickfigures there at the time (you'd think having his old PC blown up would prevent him from trying that again, and it did, its just that TSC is an anomaly even in creation) but besides that, every bad thing he did had been done with TCO at his side, and I personally think TDL never had a chance to be good.

I have a personal theory that every hollowhead reflects Alan in some way. Now, this is pure theory, no need to read this part, but here's how I think:

Victim mirrors Alan's methodical torture. Now, Vic does it more as a means to an end rather than pure entertainment, but Alan is also shown to use stickfigures, TCO was enslaved as an ad block, TDL was created to kill TCO, and TSC was allowed to live and keep his friends as long as he helped with animating. Victim torturing TCO is more of a consequence than him being that way normally, but overall Vic is a watered down version of early Alan with a tragic backstory.

TCO has the same narrow worldview, he doesn't show any signs of remorse or hesitation until they're attacking stickfigures, and Alan doesn't even consider that maybe stickfigures have emotions until TSC talked.

TSC reflects the more positive aspects of Alan, like his love for animating and ability to create life.

TDL meanwhile, reflects a LOT of early Alan. Lack of empathy and disregard for stickfigures for example, as well as creating things with the purpose of destruction, and sadism.

The thing is, TDL was never meant to value stickfigures, and I don't think he ever had the opportunity to besides Chosen. Even if they both had a say in their targets it is very likely that Chosen had been leading at the beginning, considering in AVA3 TDL was only ever shown to follow others. The only part where he could argueably be the one leading is when the icons join the fight and that is very brief.

The only possible reason I can think of as to why that nearby city hasn't been attacked yet is that either Dark has no interest in doing so or Chosen has somehow gotten over his abysmal communication skills long enough to say maybe lets not.

And even if Chosen gets all the credit for their attack on newgrounds why would Dark interact with other sticks at that point? Alan had stick Jesus show up on his PC while he was doing laundry and the only reason why TSC didn't get deleted is a freak combination of uno reverse card powers, drawing skills and the ability to talk.

I'm rambling at this point but

TL;DR Dark is absolutely in the wrong but I see him as a what if Alan had actually tried to delete TSC, you know? The only real difference is that Alan saw a last minute reason to keep TSC around and TDL didn't. So I think he could mellow out given opportunity and time but now he's dead so :/

A message to all Dark Lord defenders

As someone who is vehemently against the idea that Dark is in any way sympathetic, I invite you to try and change my mind, I want to have a conversation with you all, because I genuinely think it's interesting that so many can look at a character who I think is a completely irredeemable asshole and see something more charitable.

So go on Dark defenders, go wild, explain all of your arguments and I will do my best to argue against them (or, maybe even agree with them if I think they make sense.

[butwhatifidothis]

Regarding the isolationism post‚ I looked at the hopes datamine to double check‚ and 2 out of 3 countries trade outside Fodlan. Aegir to the east (e.g. Morfis)‚ and Dominic with Albinea. Leicester is a bit iffy since Edmund has islands and is a hub for merchants (but I'll give the benefit of the doubt and say that it's trade with the other countries). Unless this is a different type of isolationism that I'm not familiar with.

Even without that, Almyra, the place that keeps trying to fuck over Fodlan for literal shits and giggles, has some form of trade be done with it because Fodlan manages to get shit from eastern Almyra (Almyran Tea Blend). And that's without mentioning all of the other foods and teas and shit they get from foreign countries! Plus the entire existence of a set of traveler's journals that detail someone's personal experiences with foreign countries that is readily available in the biggest religious center of Fodlan also swerves Fodlan away from being this isolationist nightmare some folks claim it to be.

Like I'm not going to sugarcoat it Claude was wrong. Incorrect. Not right. He himself directly alludes to his own incorrectness in 3H. It's not about lying it's not about being sneaky it's not about trickery and obfuscation and schemes the guy was wrong. Like oh my god can we please just let characters be wrong sometimes none of us are five we should be able to handle a character being wrong sometimes

[yellowhollyhock]

nah but it's so wild because like. It's almost a normal 'sibling growing up' story, where you understand why the younger ones feel betrayed and abandoned, but it hurts to see their anger or closing off directed at the older sibling who literally just went through a normal developmental stage. But then they both grow a little and it all smooths out even better than it was until a few years down the road you got the second half, where the older sibling feels betrayed by the person they've always seen as a kid becoming their peer and standing more on their own. And it's all understandable and it all hurts and it all smooths over.

Except with tmnt 2007 they're all adults together and Splinter really said 'It's time for Leo to go on a journey of self-discovery, he needs opportunities for further growth and he shouldn't be relying on us anymore. The rest of you should go outside less but I guess you can have jobs if you want.'

like bro they would've been on that journey together, the 'growing up without me' angst was literally unnecessary because they were all growing up. At the same time. Together.

Being the most skilled and obedient student was the only mark of maturity Splinter was willing to recognize when his sons were all becoming adults in front of him and he manufactured a divide that literally did not need to exist

[crownedwille]

.

[postsforposting]

Had his hand been splayed nobody would be calling it a nazi gesture. Same as people don't call other such gestures a salute, even though there's been lots of "this angle makes you a nazi" type graphs. I have seen tons of people hail taxis with the "tight" as opposed to splayed hand, though, and no one in the USA gets huffy about it. I'm inclined to agree he did it to be a jackass, so he could mock everyone in the aftermath.

About two decades ago there was a "have you seen Kyle, he's about this tall" meme. It was a nazi gesture, not out of sincere belief but because people found the dark humor funny. Not particularly something you'd do in open public where people will reflexively insist it's nothing but criminal.

A gesture can be a heil, and the heil can be a joke. Whether anyone in particular finds that funny is their own business, but "it's not funny" doesn't make it anything other than a joke you don't like. Same as any other topic used for humor that people don't like. Doing it in public where you know you're going to offend people is not a nice thing to do, but again, that kind of behavior isn't diagnostic of nazism.

Musk strikes me as the kind who would do it in public. Which he did.

I was surprised to see people projecting the video on Tesla buildings in Germany, of all places, where it's highly illegal to do anything akin to the heil. If we're upset Musk did this in public, then surely the projectors are just as evilly Nazi? Regardless of if they wanted to "prove he's a bigot"? There's plenty of AfD people who would love him to come out as a full nazi, and there's plenty of people who would be disgusted by it. So who was behind the projector, and why? Does it matter what their intentions were, who's side they're on, when that's the same argument we're having here about Musk doing it?

I don't particularly care what Musk's intentions were. He's well aware of people's "determination to make everything Trump-related out to be Nazi-ish", and he's the kind of Edgy to deliberately set those people off. He's right that people are freakishly obsessed with symbology; doesn't make it acceptable for a quasi-government official to deliberately act like this though. We really gotta move away from trying to enshrine what's effectively linguistic astrology, valuing the euphemistic treadmill over actual meaning. "Tranny fags got the same freedoms you do, Earl" is a lot better than "We need to be careful about allowing non gender conforming people access to anything beyond the mental institutionalization they clearly need for self hatred and self harming uwu".

The other thing is that I haven't really seen any agreement about what a "nazi" is, other than "he did the signal". Does it mean ONLY hatred of Jewish people? How so, when the OG nazis started with queer and disabled people, and the west itself forced those people to continue their nazi-assigned sentences long after the war was over? When those policies are still present in many countries, if not all, to this day? Antisemitism is pretty prevalent worldwide, does that mean everyone globally is a nazi too? What about the other economic and cultural beliefs?

Laypeople use facism, nazism, and authoritarianism interchangeably, but they're really not. I don't think many people can actually articulate the differences at all, let alone to the satisfaction of basic academics. I think expanding people's vocabulary about what exactly these things entail would go a long way to being able to say what's actually wrong and why. Though given that people also generally dismiss anything that isn't Le Srs Enough To Matter, I think that's the real problem. Musk MUST be a nazi, or nothing he does matters, because only that matters enough to require concern, let alone action. Things that are only "slightly bad" should get fixed too. Even good things, if they can be improved, should get fixed. The limbo bar should not need to be set at The Worst Ever. Frankly it feels nice to improve things, even if only a little bit. But we teach people that "cleaning up", literally and metaphorically, is a shameful punishment because you are a Bad Person Responsible For This Mess, instead of the self and community care it actually is.

I wish people more easily were able to separate "this is horrifyingly insensitive/offensive/inappropriate and nobody should do it and I have a right to be angry that someone did/said the thing" from "this is a confirmation of the offender actually having the worst-case belief whose existence is the reason for the thing being considered so offensive, and so I should feel unsafe because they did/said the thing".

[musical-chick-13]

Yes, capitalism is bad. Yes, we should dismantle capitalism. No, capitalism is not the Sole Thing Responsible for every single bad thing that has ever historically happened to anyone.

[blujayonthewing]

I wish I had any way of knowing whether people have gotten Weirder™ about my name in recent years or if this has been happening behind the scenes the entire time

I've been going by Jay since I was 11. At the time nobody objected to or questioned this, at least not to me; I found out many years later that Jay is supposedly a "boy's name," but nobody ever said 'you can't use that as a nickname, it's a boy's name' and it went completely uncontested by anyone when I switched. Lots of kids announced some manner of name change at the start of a new school year in middle school; it was all normal and fine. My mom and, you know, grandmas and other relatives kept calling me Jessica, which was also fine! I didn't make a big family announcement or correct any relatives on this, I just wanted to differentiate myself from the half dozen other Jessicas in school.

For twenty years!! This has gone on being perfectly normal! My Real Name™ is an increasingly obscure bit of trivia I get to spring on friends who didn't realize I had one, which is always funny (my brother in law didn't believe me and demanded to see my driver's license). My mom and grandmas have largely still called me Jess, and that's also fine! It's nice, even! There's a particular intimacy there of having a name only my mother uses-- but, crucially, I have never asked her not to, or said that I don't like it. And as FAR AS I KNOW, this has all been true and fine for TWENTY YEARS.

My own feelings about it have never changed, and feel, to me, very straightforward: if I tell you that my name is Jay, and you decide that no it isn't, that is a problem. That's the rule. That's literally it. I had a high school teacher who asked on the syllabus for us to write down if we went by something other than our full name, who was nonetheless UNIQUE among all of my teachers from 6th grade onward in always and only ever calling me Jess, even though I signed all my work Jay, all the other teachers called me Jay, he literally asked whether anyone wanted to be called something else and I answered Jay, and I had him for two semesters. I met a work friend of Justin's once who asked upon introduction whether Jay was short for something, and when I told him it was short for Jessica he took it upon himself to call me Jess instead. This isn't me having a problem with any particular iteration of my name, this is just asshole behavior! I told you what my name was and you said 'no it isn't'. The problem here does not seem complex to me?

But within the last [hand wiggle] handful of years I feel like it keeps getting weirder? Apparently my dad and grandma argued about it at my wedding rehearsal-- she, dramatically, insisting 'I don't care, her name is Jessica, I'm going to call her that ;n;' and my dad angrily defensive that no it isn't, I go by Jay, that should be respected. And I'm sitting here listening to my dad relay this in utter bewilderment like. Well dad I love the energy but I have never been bothered at all if grandma calls me Jessica. I have never even once asked her not to or complained to anyone that she does. But also this is the grandma who HAS called me Jay more often than not?? My mom's mom never picked it up, but I was astonished to hear my dad's mom was acting like this was some New Dramatic Change that she Hated and not a thing she's literally already been doing for, again, twenty entire years. Why are you suddenly making it weird! Last weekend Justin's stepmom mentioned seeing my mom at the hospital where mom works, and how she said something like 'yes I'm Jessica's mom-- wait, no, Jay, she hates it when I do that' and I just?? I literally don't, the only problem now is that people who know me won't know who the fuck you're talking about

all of this and I'm just. I am literally just sitting here. why are we inventing problems out of this two decades later. what is going on

[pa-pa-plasma]

one of the things that will always destroy me is people believing that good story = darker/more mature/more sexual. this belief has ruined so many stories that could have been amazing & has prevented almost everyone from enjoying other really good stories simply because the age range it's aimed at is one they believe can't have complex themes, characters, plot, etc etc. they don't believe they can be moved by something a publisher or studio decided is for kids & so write it off without even thinking about it. biggest curse of being a writer who actually loves stories & telling them is that literally no one else cares in the most pessimistic, higher-than-thou, capitalism brainrot way you can imagine. & it's all automatic. because that's just what you're taught.

[widevibratobitch]

omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee

[le-velo-pour-dru]

I know this is the most immature and childish way to react to it, but it's been really stressful to me how much I've been confronted and contradicted and corrected about the things I say and do recently :(