#They will be Great Parents for the Mushrooms I swear

[r0tt1ngr4bb1t]

THE SILLIES!!!

ALSO IT'S COMING TOMORROW!?!?!? I'M BLESSED!!!

[kekaki-cupcakes]

Heeey

Hope u're doing well

Please can I request a connor stoll x reader one shot where the mom (the reader) is going out with friends after all the pregnancy period, and it is the first time Connor is taking care of the baby all by himself for the evening

Have a good day

Can't believe that this was the request that brought me out of my writing slump lol. I have so many requests that I'm trying to write for right now and I figured people would rather have a short blurb than nothing at all, so this is only like 0.8k words. Sorry babes, hope you enjoy. Xx

pizza night--- Connor Stoll x reader [parent fic]

»»————-　★　————-««

-First of all Connor would be literally the best dad ever.

-I mean, like, obviously your baby would grow up knowing far too many swear words and probably ties people's shoes together when they're not looking, but no ones actually surprised.

-You would be able to take the cutest photos of your baby asleep on his chest in front of the tv or dancing in the kitchen while dinner cooked [you know when little kids stand on your feet and you hold their hands to dance? He would do that]. 

-He’d also for the first time not steal from a lolly shop when he takes the baby and lets them pick out the lollies from the pick and mix tubs. He’d hold the baby up like Simba at the start of The Lion King. You know the scene. 

-But that’s after the baby stops crying every night and can wear shoes that totally have little wings drawn on them. 

-When you’re laying on the couch eating ice cream with sprinkles and Connor is cleaning up baby vomit or something and your friends start spamming the group chat to get your attention, you’d just ignore it to begin with.

-Who wants to go out when there’s a screaming two week old baby at home and you’ve got cramps absolutely everywhere? To go and talk about babies when you literally never want to explain why you chose the name you did and why the baby is wearing a Lightning McQueen onesie [Cecil].

-But Connor hears the pings of your phone and [after turning it off so as to not wake the baby] he decides that you're going to have a great night out with your friends who would have to promise no baby talk or strenuous exercise. 

-So you’re all dressed up in comfortable clothing and flat shoes [no post pregnant person is walking around in stilettos, and you might be amazing, but you’re not that amazing], ready to go out for a night of gossip and drinks, or pizza and relaxing, depending on your mood, when you realize that this would be the first time Connor is on baby duty without you pottering around the house somewhere or napping. 

-He promises that everything will be fine and if the baby doesn’t go to bed he’ll just call Clovis over. 

-He then had to promise that he will not in fact put a spell on the newborn and will be very responsible and baby you don’t have to worry he’s been watching youtube tutorials on this stuff for eight months and seven days. 

-On a completely unrelated note, you found out you were pregnant about eight months and seven days ago.

-So you’re pushed out the door into your friend's car and Connor realizes he should probably take advantage of the fact the baby is sleeping in the other room to prepare for what would hopefully be an uneventful night.

-He mixes together the milf formula and leaves it in the fridge before ordering pizza. Take out or baked goods that his siblings dropped off while they zoomed around the city going to and from whatever it was they were doing had become the go to for meals since baby duty became the main concern and most food burnt on the stove in minutes. 

-Connor always orders meatlovers, but picks the sausage bits off and puts mushrooms on top. 

-It’s the best.

-Unfortunately babies can’t eat the greatest pizza ever, so after doing the washing and tidying up the utter chaos of your three bedroom house [one for you and Connor, one for your kid, and the spare room for Travis. Connor had one at Travis’s apartment too], ringing the hospital to book in that check up appointment for a few days away, paying the pizza delivery girl, and sitting down for approximately four minutes until the baby began crying, he took the milk out of the fridge and went to the living room. 

-Connor held the baby with one arm, wiping drool off the tiny onesie, and turned on the TV. Luckily for him, your baby loved watching the colors move and make noise. 

-You were adamant about not raising an Ipad KidTM, but he figured Netflix was an exception. 

-He looked down for the baby's reaction when pausing on each movie.

-A bored gurgle at Lightning McQueen [Cecil would riot], a blank stare at Taylor Swift’s new movie, and then a screaming fit when he played the trailer for The Hunger Games [probably not a good idea to begin with] and he moved onto better half of his favorite movies. 

-He pressed play on an all time classic.

-Connor’s child needed to have impeccable taste, or he just might ignore them until they tried to take over the world.

-Too soon?

“Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop to look around once in a while, you just might miss it.”

»»————-　★　————-««

[areyoudreaminof]

Pork and Beans: WIP

In which Jurian tells Elain’s pet pig he’s going to eat her.

Lucien heard the shrieking beneath his feet before he saw anything. Looking down at the mud, a small pink piglet screamed at his boots. Her rump was covered in caked dirt as she posed to strike, her curly little tail thumping away. The piglet bucked on its haunches and zoomed around his legs with fury.

They didn’t have a pig, he was absolutely sure of that.

Dodging the squealing little demon, he shook off his muddy boots. “Would someone be so kind as to explain to me why there is a piglet in the yard?” Lucien asked the moment he crossed the threshold.

Elain and Jurian looked up from the papers spread out on the table. Elain’s eyes were wide with something like guilt, while Jurian’s lips were spread into a shit eating grin.

“So you’ve met Beanie, huh?” Jurian asked with a maniacal breath.

“If that’s the pig squealing in the mud, then yes I’ve met Beanie.” Lucien said, stunned. “But what’s it doing here?”

“We’re not calling her Beanie!” Elain snapped.

Jurian snorted, “Sure we are, because we’re going to eat her with beans.”

Elain huffed and tossed her hair and grumbled something. Lucien, still slack jawed, stood in the kitchen waiting for an explanation.

“You remember Lady Brighton? The widow who’s providing a fleet and has been using her sons to smuggle Scythian’s out of prison? Well, her grandson raises pigs, and he very kindly gave us one. We’re going to fatten her up and eat her.” Jurian said, smacking his lips for effect, “Some juicy, crispy bacon with eggs.”

Elain spun with fury, “We are not eating her. I am going to train her to hunt for mushrooms. Pigs are some of the most intelligent creatures!”

“Bacon also goes great with mushrooms.” Jurian shot back.

“Did someone say bacon?” Vassa’s voice beat her to the kitchen as she entered, wide eyed. “I haven’t had bacon in months.”

“Give it a few more months and we will have a whole store of bacon, my Queen.” Jurian said with a smug grin and a wink.

Elain turned her nose up, steadying her breathing as she put her hands on her hips. “There will be no bacon unless you go buy it somewhere else! Poppy is off limits.”

“Oh no, not a name! You actually didn’t name the food supply!” Jurian howled with laughter while Vassa swayed between them, deciding whose side she should take. Lucien still stood in the kitchen, utterly confused as Elain stopped past him into the yard where she began to coo at the little piglet.

“It is cute,” Vassa said with some uncertainty, “and pigs are quite smart.”

“Piglets are cute,” Jurian said with an air of false authority, “but pigs are tasty when they’re full grown. Honey bacon and beans over a fire?” The Mad General sighed like a boy in love.

“I should go check on Elain,” Lucien mumbled as he shuffled towards the back door once again.

The cool summer breeze met him again as he found Elain sitting cross legged on the muddy ground, the little piglet in her arms, scratching it’s neck. The little piglets eyes were closed in ecstasy, its curly tail wiggling as Elain mumbled to it.

“Aren’t you just the sweetest thing? We won’t eat you.”

Lucien knelt beside her, kissing her neck. “I know we had planned to wait, but I suppose we’re pig parents now.” he teased as he gave the pig a little scratch. The animal gave a satisfied little snort, and Lucien could swear he could see a smile on its face.

“Jurian is an idiot,” Elain huffed, “he actually giggled when Colin brought him over, and said she smelled tasty. Poor boy looked like he was going to cry. Send him over to Tamlin, it would do him some good.”

“Jurian would eat every morsel in the Spring Court,” Lucien laughed, still scratching the wiry white fur on the piglets neck. “Not much of a punishment.”

“Then I’ll put him on compost duty,” she sniffed daintily.

[elisela]

boys of summer sterek, southpaw, established relationship, kid fic day 7: "i wish every day could be like this"

Stiles isn’t great at giving gifts. It’s not his strong suit; he loves his family and friends to the ends of the earth and back, but he’s just not great at spending a bunch of time trying to come up with something meaningful and heartfelt twice a year. His go-to gift is technology—Derek’s going to be getting the newest iPhone for every birthday he ever has—and now that they’ve got kids, he pairs it with something having to do with them. Derek’s a sucker for anything with handprints or photos, so Stiles is pretty sure the professionally framed pictures that Norah had drawn in her shaky four year old hand was going to be the highlight of the night for his husband. 

Until fucking Jackson had dug around in his gift bag and tossed a Yankees jersey across the table. 

“He’s already got one of those, don’t encourage him,” Stiles says, rolling his eyes and picking another slice of mushroom off his pizza and holding it to Harper’s mouth. 

“Not one of these,” Jackson says, and Stiles glances over at him suspiciously before looking back at Derek, who’s just holding the jersey up; Stiles catches the blocky text with WHITTEMORE on the back and groans. 

He’s never getting away from the damn Yankees now. 

“But that’s not your actual gift,” Jackson says to Derek, and the smug smile he gives him lets Stiles know he’s about to really hate his life. “This is.”

Stiles catches the second jersey with a sigh, and lets out an exaggerated whimper when he sees Jackson holding up two more—tiny pinstriped cleaning rags if he has anything to say about it, there’s no way he’s letting his girls wear those things.

Norah’s wearing hers three minutes later. Harper, thankfully, falls asleep on his lap before Jackson can convince her to put it on. 

Stiles will get him back for this. 

--

Three months later

“Don’t be mad,” is how his morning starts, and Stiles looks up at Derek with bleary, sleep-crusted eyes. He doesn’t even have the energy to be mad, because Harper has decided that every week should be sleep regression week.

“I’m too tired to feel anything,” he says, and feels a twist in his stomach when Derek’s expression turns vaguely guilty. He waves a hand, accidentally sending oatmeal flying. “Don’t worry about it. What’d you do?”

He expects something family related—another class added to Norah’s busy schedule, their babysitter canceling their standing Friday night slot, accepting a last minute invitation to his parent’s house for dinner. Instead, Derek shifts his weight from one foot to the other (a sure sign Stiles won’t like what’s coming) and says, “Remember how Jackson said there was another part to my birthday present and I’d get it later?”

Stiles narrows his eyes. 

“I got it this morning.”

“You’re stalling,” Stiles says, and then it hits him. He’d dismissed it at the time, figuring it was some other God awful piece of Yankees gear, and had forgotten all about it when it hadn’t materialized. 

And now it’s the end of March and Jackson’s bringing it up again.

“I’m not going,” he says immediately, then pinches the bridge of his nose because wow, way to be a present, loving husband. “Jesus. Fuck him, I swear to God, I’m going to kill him. Did he get you good seats, at least? I need him to be able to hear me when I spend every at-bat yelling about what a colossal assface he is.”

“That was a lot of adult words,” Norah says brightly, and Stiles drops the spoon he was holding when it startles him.

He has got to start getting more sleep.

“Yeah and clearly you know them, so I shouldn’t be hearing them repeated,” he says, looking over at her and pushing her neglected oatmeal closer before looking back over at Derek. “When is it?”

Derek looks at him, glances at the floor, and then up at the ceiling; it’s a sight that fills Stiles with dread. Derek is nothing short of forthcoming, unless he’s about to beg for something that Stiles really will not like. “It’s—the whole season?”

He pushes his bowl to the side, moves his coffee to a safe distance, and drops his head onto the table, banging it lightly. “He’s dead to me, I swear to God.”

--

Stiles wears the jersey, but only in the hopes that Harper pukes on it. Or Norah. He’s half-tempted to actually give her every kind of food she’s asking for, but he would be a terrible parent if he did and sometimes the only thing he’s got to hang on to is his ability to keep two small children alive and well every day.

His only saving grace is that Harper’s lulled to sleep by the several loops around the stadium they make before first pitch, and that she hadn’t woken up when Derek had gently placed a pair of noise-canceling headphones on her. He’d handed responsibility of Norah over to him  and had taken Harper for himself, strapping her into the baby carrier on his chest, which also gave him an excuse to stay firmly seated and not cheer.

It works until Jackson comes up to bat in the second inning and swings for the fences, launching the ball over the right field wall and taking his time to round the bases. The crowd surges to it’s feet the moment the bat cracks and the noise level goes from tolerable to ear-splitting, and when Jackson turns to look dead at him, he can’t help but give a half-hearted cheer while flipping him off.

The smile on Derek’s face makes it worth it.

--

“I don’t want to leave, we can’t leave, I want to see another game,” Norah whines. Stiles can’t hear what Derek says to her, a low murmur in her ear as he rubs her back, but she lays her cheek on his shoulder and sighs, “Okay, if you promise,” in response.

He glances at his phone, looks at the crowd flowing towards the exits, and makes a decision. “You want to see Uncle Jack before we go home?” She nods, and when she sticks her thumb in her mouth, he reaches out and gently pulls it back out as Derek moves off to the side and stops. “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah,” she says, yawning. “I wish every day could be like this.”

His heart swells and breaks simultaneously, sliding his phone back into his pocket after tapping out a message to Jackson. He may not have played in Yankee Stadium for a few years, but he remembers how to get down to the clubhouse just fine, and he brushes his hand against Derek’s arm before leading the way. “Well,” he says, already regretting his words, “we have eighty more chances.”

[dalliansss]

Feanor for the asks?

Character Ask Game 💚🤍🖤

For Fëanor

one aspect about them i love The day to day complication of his existence as the only elf to have a step-family, and all of its implications and how it molded him to be one of Melkor's most perfect pawns.

one aspect i wish more people understood about them His family loved him, man. And he loved them very much, in turn. They were a very closely-knit family. Only deep love can give rise to the even deeper loyalty his sons had for him -- enough for them to willingly step into the Doom Circle and swear that dread oath. That loyalty wouldn't be there if Feanor was an asshole father. He wasn't perfect, but he wasn't abusive.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character He wanted a large family because he never wanted Nelyo to feel how lonely it had been, when he was growing up. He doesn't consider that side of the family as his siblings.

one character i love seeing them interact with Celegorm. His son who was closest to the Valar, whom he despised. Provides for interesting dynamics and clashing opinions, especially as Turko grew into adulthood!

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more Finarfin. I imagine out of his step-family, he was fondest of Finarfin, reluctantly. But Finarfin grew on him. A damn pestilential mushroom.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character Whenever the Great Hunt of Oromë ventures on an errand, the Eldar members are given a chance to go back to their household and ask for a Departure Blessing from their spouses, or their parents, if they are unmarried. As a younger ellon, Celegorm asked Fëanor for this blessing. But as Celegorm grew up and his opinions with Fëanor diverged, he stopped asking him or Nerdanel for this send-off ritual. He started asking Maedhros for it instead.

[e350tb]

Gravity Falls - The Matchmabel - Chapter IV

Chapter IV: Ties That Bind

Ford knelt down next to the golden strangeshroom, gently plucking it out of the ground. He sniffed it, and then very slowly and carefully he put it against his tongue.

He seized up, and then he bent over, doubled back, fell to the floor clutching his throat and began to jump around, holding his head - all at once. Dipper and Wendy watched from not far away as Ford literally glitched like a video game character in a bugged animation.

“Hey, Ford’s glitching out,” said Wendy calmly.

“He’ll be fine,” Dipper shrugged. “I checked his notes. Strangeshroom symptoms only last about a minute unless you actually eat them.”

“Oh, cool.” Wendy knelt down, picking the strangeshrooms at her feet.

“So how’d your dad take you not going to college?” asked Dipper, kneeling down to pick some of his own.

“Eh,” Wendy shrugged. “Not great, what else is new?”

Dipper furrowed his brow.

“But he was cool with it, right?” he asked. “In the end?”

Wendy looked away.

“Well, he got Marcus into lumber college,” she replied. “That’s all that matters.”

“Marcus… the older one, right?”

Wendy nodded.

“I mean, he doesn’t have a lot of faith in me, and it sucks,” she said, “but I’m happy with where I am, and that’s all that matters to me.”

“So you don’t worry about having a job or a career?” asked Dipper.

“Hey, Ford’s never held a steady job in his life, and he’s doing fine.”

“I can confirm!” exclaimed Ford, who was now twitching on his back on the ground. “Societal career expectations are for suckers! Ooh, I wonder what this one does…”

“I guess,” mused Dipper, ignoring the explosion. “But I don’t know if my parents would forgive me if I dropped out of college to become a paranormal investigator.”

“I for one,” said a somewhat singed Ford, picking himself off the ground, “would be thrilled!”

“Thanks Ford,” Dipper muttered.

“Paranormal investigator, huh?” Wendy crossed her arms. “This still the TV show thing?”

“Actually… maybe not,” replied Dipper. “I’m thinking more of a ‘travelling around the country studying the paranormal’ thing.”

“Like Superabormal?”

“Yeah, a bit like that,” said Dipper. “Just… but it’s not a job. It’s not a career. Not one my parents would want me doing anyway.”

“Does it matter?” asked Wendy. “As long as you’re happy?”

Dipper shrugged.

“I guess not,” he replied. “But it’s not that simple…”

“Seems pretty simple to me.” Ford walked over, kneeling down to pick some strangeshrooms nearby. “Tell you what? Why don’t you try a little investigation tonight?”

He held up one of the strangeshrooms.

“You want me to eat wild mushrooms?” asked Dipper.

“No, no, swallowing them would be a terrible idea,” replied Ford. “But tasting them is fine. With the two of us working on it, we should be able to catalogue these in record time!”

“What do you mean ‘two of us?’” asked Wendy.

“Well, I didn’t want to just assume you were in,” shrugged Ford.

“Hey, I’ll try anything once,” Wendy shrugged.

“Alright then,” Ford nodded. “The three of us. It’s not glamorous, but testing anomalous material is a big part of paranormal investigation. What do you say, Dipper? Are you in?”

He held up a strangeshroom. For a moment, Dipper stared at it.

“Yeah,” he said, smiling. “I’m in.”

-----

Pacifica Northwest sighed as she stood on the sizable deck of the new Northwest Manor, standing next to her father. The elder Northwest was gazing down through a pair of binoculars at the old Northwest Manor, now McGucket Manor, his moustache bristling.

“Look at that hillbilly,” he growled. “Squatting in our ancestral home! It sickens me!”

He lowered his binoculars.

“One day I’ll regain my wealth,” he declared, “and then I swear, I will crush this ungrateful valley beneath my feet!”

“Dad, you’re getting maniacal again,” said Pacifica.

“I’m rich, I have to have a hobby,” replied Preston, “It’s either this or golfing.”

“But… you also golf.”

“Pacifica,” declared Preston, tucking his hands behind his back and turning to his daughter. “One day we will regain our fortune…”

“We have a net worth of five hundred million dollars.”

“...but until that day comes,” continued Preston, “We all have to do our part. Me by investing in every single tech startup I can find until one pays off, your mother by potentially standing aside for a richer trophy wife, and you by eventually marrying the son of one of America’s ten wealthiest men.”

“But what if I don’t want to?” asked Pacifica. “Most of them are airheaded morons anyway…”

“Precisely! You can dominate them!” said Preston, pointing up at the sky.

He narrowed his eyes, leaning down to meet Pacifica’s.

“Just make sure you don’t get yourself mixed up with a commoner,” he warned. “Like that Pines boy. I’d hate to have to separate you.”

Pacifica blinked.

“...but I don’t want to date him.”

Preston pursed his lips, thinking for a moment.

“Very good, daughter, very good!” he exclaimed, straightening up. “Looks like you’re well ahead of me! Well, I’m going to check on dinner - the staff are making Northwest Steaks, which are basically normal steaks but with gold on them. I tried to patent the idea but apparently someone in New York beat me to it…”

He marched inside, shaking his head.

Pacifica sighed, leaning on the railing and looking out over the valley. A gentle breeze blew over, her hair dancing in the soft wind…

…and then a paper aeroplane hit her in the forehead.

“Ow! What the-”

She knelt down to pick up the little plane, furrowing her brow as she unfolded it.

“Come to Greasy’s Diner at 6pm tomorrow night,” she read. “True love will ensue, exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point… This looks like Mabel’s handwriting.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“Well,” she said, “Guess I don’t have anything better to do.”

-----

“I still think burying it in the backyard is an option. Just puttin’ that out there.”

Mabel, Stan and Soos stood next to a giant pit behind the Mystery Shack. Soos was wearing an old flamethrower, and the bit had been doused in petrol. Mabel held the box in her arms, gazing into the hole, a determined grimace on her face.

“No,” she replied. “We have to destroy it.”

“But do you know how much gasoline costs?!” exclaimed Stan. “And where did you even get a flamethrower?”

“It was in grandpa’s old stuff,” replied Soos.

“I’ve got a lot of questions about your grandpa, Soos, and I don’t think I wanna know the answers,” said Stan.

“Alright, Soos,” said Mabel. “Do it.”

“You got it, dawg.”

Soos fired the flamethrower into the hole, setting alight. The hole burst into flames, sending black smoke pouring into the sky.

“A match could’ve done this,” said Stan. “Just saying.”

A gust of wind blew up, and a single photograph of Wendy blew out of the box, floating into the flames and instantly burning.

“Alright,” said Mabel, “time to-”

She jumped as her phone rang. She put the box down, fumbling through her pockets to find it.

“What the… Grenda?”

She answered the call.

“Hit me, girl.”

“Hey, I’m at the hardware store looking for the best searchlights in town,” said Grenda, “but there’s five brands and they all say they’re the best around! I can’t pick one!”

“Hold on, Grenda, I’m coming!”

She hung up the phone.

“Change of plans, Soos,” she said. “We need to get to the hardware store!”

“Got it,” Soos nodded. “But what about…” He glanced at the box. “...the deed?”

“The deed!”

“The deed!”

“The-”

“I’ll do it!” exclaimed Stan, pinching his nose. “Just get going!”

“Thanks, Grunkle Stan!” said Mabel cheerily. “Alright, to Soos’ pickup!”

“Awaaaaaay!” bellowed Soos.

Stan watched as they ran back to the shack. He sighed and turned his attention to the box.

“It’s for your own good, Dipper,” he sighed. “You don’t want to end up like me… heartbroken by Carla, lost a molar to Beatrice, bitten by Marilyn’s weird dog…”

He pulled up his pant leg, revealing a strange-looking bite mark on his right leg.

“You’re doing this for the best cause in the world, Stan,” he told himself. “Your great-nephew’s future… and your financial security… and twenty bucks.”

He gazed down into the fire.

He took a deep breath.

“Okay,” he said. “Let’s do it.”

[daphnebowen]

hsmtmts season four episode four

Zac efron in baywatch is CRAZY BRO

richard Bowen: the French fry and the funnel cake

why does Mike suck at shopping? How do you buy cooking oil instead of tanning oil??? How do you do that???

HOW DOES RICHARD NOT KNOW MARY POPPINS ON SIGHT COME ON NOW Gina needs to educate him BADLY

”Ricky and Gina are just friends” yes Mike. Thank you for your input.

five nights in a row?!?!?!?!?!?

ricky is ranting to miss Jenn and Mike is crazy

MAKE GOOD CHOICES??? NO PROMISES??? What is he planning on doing tonight?!?!?!?

this song is really disturbing but also an absolute bop

spooky indeed…

okay I totally thought Ashlyn was going as ms Darbus too!!!!!! I never would have gotten Eleanor roosevelt??

”for the low low price of one of my cats for the day. That’s fine right?” No. No it’s not.

BATMANNNN I WANNA SEE JOSH DRESSED UP LIKE BATMANNN

” WOW YOU LOOK GREAT!!!”

”let’s get this starty parted!!!!!!!!! Nope wait let me come in again”

”Bowen as baywatch???” Honey you’re not the only one who’s confused this is too hilarious

“I’m scared 😟”

HANDSOME MR MAZARRA IS CRAZY

AND KOURTNEY JUST BLOWS RIGHT BY IT AS IF HER MOM DIDNT SAY ANYTHING AHAHAH

again, ten reasons why kourtneys mom is the best parent

”wait. You think mr mazarra is HANDSOME?!”

“dude. Can’t say that.”

mike. Mike Mike Mike. Why would you only get one bag of candy on halloween??? Have you never had halloween before???

the fact that Mack knows EVERYONES NAMES except for Ricky’s that seems blatant right there tbh like how does he know jets and not Ricky’s???

”g-force”

”wow guy! The one who almost ruined the take!” “Wow.” “Yeah, like that!” Ricky is so over Mack I swear

“oh good, spark is here.” “His name is mark and you know this” they said with fake smiles and wide eyes

”sister slayed the remodel” “indeed she did”

”you got it… buddy” the most unconvincing thumbs up ever!

gina trying to hide her mark and spark poster board but it keeps bouncing back PKEASE DONT BE FORESHADOWING

kourtney is SLAYING

Ricky mocking jet is DEFINITELY josh “gotta play it cool tonight bro”

”call. 9. 1. 1.” YES HELP KOURT NEEDS A COSTUME

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA RICKY SPITTING IN MACKS DRINK I CANT THE MOST OUT OF POCKET THING HE HAS EVER DONE seriously though I would literally do the same

”iS tHaT fAbRiC?”

”jetty’s got a cruuush!”

only candy, Michael? Omg he’s so dumbbbb it’s giving “its only a song” “a song can mean everything”

he got her a bottle cap?? Tacky.

he’s a little bit too full of himself.

asking “who is it “ ON HALLOWEEN BRUH like it’s definitely not gonna be little kids looking for candy which, by the way, you don’t have! 🤦🏼‍♀️

I wanna be called “cutie” :(

“bestie of the week” so degrading

omg this is so chaotic I can’t even Dani is like confronting Ricky about his costume and Gina is so confused and Ricky isn’t sure what to say… this is messy yall

RICKY JUMPING INTO GINAS ARMS AWW

omg Maddox is dying

“AS A FRIENDDDD” girl just admit it already she’s so shook

Mad and mad are… bad YES THEY ARE MADLYN FOR LIFE

NO SEBLOS IS NOT OVER FIGHT ME CARLOS

oh crap Mack why you have to go and say things like that

Ricky is so over it lmao the whole time Dani is talking he’s like “shut up shut up shut up” POOR GINA THOUGH

“Troy and Gabriella are characters, not a couple!!” - Kourtney

ricky: “well…”

”WHAAAAT???” The excited squeal is literally me every time something rina-y happens ♥️

the way Mack was like oh shiitake mushrooms and Dani’s look of astonishment - no, you two will not be cheating on each other with the best couple in history TODAY 😝

jet is a VIBE BRO- “I’m so glad this is out in the open, it was getting exhausting” honestly SAME

oh no. Gina’s mom. (She doesn’t deserve a name)

buddies. Always a bad sign 😳

richard just got friend zoned after him and Gina admitted they were a couple in front of all their friends. Oof. Can’t say I don’t blame him for running

”I like to dress up as Mary poppins and you like to give over the counter pharmaceuticals to children.” Yeah Jenn that’s probably a bad sign…

PREACH MISS JENN PREACH YOU AND MAZZY ARE WAY BETTER I think

i agree mike and miss Jenn got together way too soon after the divorce it was like BAM and idk how to feel about it

maddox’s hair looks so cute curly!!

lowkey wish Emmy and Jet would have gotten a duet

sharing songs with each other is literally the first step in any perfect relationship you can not prove me wrong

SEBBIEEE!!!! He really is a knight in shining armor

”not harder than you not talking to me!” Oh, um, think again… BOMBSHELLS

awww ash’s voice is so good

RINAS POLAROID PIC IS SO ADORABLE PLEASE

ashlyn and Maddox’s chemistry is honestly super good they are both absolutely gorgeous and can sing like no one’s business (but technically ash and big red are still together, right? So… wouldn’t Ashlyn be cheating if anything were to happen??)

pause. Richard. Please don’t break up with Gina. That would be the stupidest thing you’ve ever done. I have faith in you tho.

the way pumpkin guy awkwardly climbed thru the window

i still can’t believe Seb cheated

jarred is literally the worst at reading social cues like bro can’t you see Seb and Carlos are going through something over here? Take a chill pill and let them figure it out before you jump in ugh

hes not even that good looking either LMAOOO

Poor sebbie! But he shouldn’t have cheated imo

yes Ricky. Unleash all of your problems on miss Jenn. She will help you. She will use her magic powers and fix everything.

Ricky looks like he has a unibrow BAHAHA

yes miss Jenn call in those reinforcements

[marshmallowprotection]

I. Would like to ask for a (romantic) match-up if that's okay 👁 because I've been into mystic messenger since I was...God, 15? Way back when it first came out. I'm in my early 20's now and once again replaying. These characters will forever hold my heart, I swear.

Okay. I'm not so sure where to start with this? I'm a college student, studying alternative medicine. Wanting to become a business owner in the future. (Herbal medicine, homeopathic medicine, etc.) I started this all because I watched a show one time where the girl was an herbalist, and I was like "wow I wish that was a real job." BUT THEN 5 MIN OF RESEARCH AND IT WAS I WAS MINDBLOWN, anyways so I've been at it for a couple of years, very passionate about it. I love to give my friends and family Herbal remedies to try and stuff, it makes me happy. On top of this, I love crystal healing (like reiki!) And I've been learning a lot of stuff like tarot and palm readings!

I have essentially two sides, pinky where I am my melody in the flesh, and then my kuromi side where I wear more HARDCORE fits (the hard-core in question: dark purple and black sweaters and black mini skirts lol). So just overall very girly. I'd say my main aesthetics are Cottagecore (currently redoing my room in all mushroom and strawberry themes!), fairycore, and then a whole lot of sanrio.

My humor? Awful. Bad. "Unfunny" except I'm actually hilarious. I tend to have a bit of darker humor, and I make a lot of dirty jokes. My friends say I have the humor of a 12 year old boy JAOSKEJDJD SO THERE IS THAT. I'm pretty energetic too!

I'm a writer in my free time, and though I say I like to read, I mainly just read fanfiction. I tend to get these characters I really like and obsess over them extremely for a long time. I get merch of them, I write about them, I stay up for longgg periods of time reading about them. Yeah it's bad, and even when I do one day date someone I ain't giving up my fictional men so they gotta deal, hahaha.

I struggle with explaining and showing my emotions. I grew up in a family where communication was not much of a thing, we either got mad and blew up at each other or gave each other the silent treatment. And I never liked this. Even when I'd cry they would get angry about it, and don't get me wrong they're great parents and I love them dearly, but communication and feelings have just always been hard with them, and therfor awful for me. I try my best though, I really do. And that's why in a relationship I desperately need someone patient and at least decent at communicating. Even when I'm bad. I mean I struggle to hug people and tell them how much I care about them a lot because of how I grew up, but I try so hard!!! I wanna break this cycle and have a healthy relationship!!!

I will add though I do somehow enjoy deep conversations. Like we could be talking about stupid stuff one second and then switch to a talk about our deepest life regrets or talk about just how we think the universe works. I like learning about how others think.

I let people walk all over me, I struggle to say no and I take on a lot more than I can handle sometimes to please other people. Anddd then inevitably burn out and isolate for a while. It's my toxic trait that I also need to work on lol.

But overall I'd say I'm fairly outgoing? I love love to talk and ramble about stuff. I'm not sure how much of this media you know but in case it helps my highest kins are Taiga (from Toradora), and then Hu Tao and Ganyu from genshin HOW I KIN BOTH OF THEM IDK I got two sides. My outside personality: Hu Tao vibe, my inside personality: Ganyu. And then Taiga is just actually so me ive never related to a character so hard. Ignore this part if you don't know the media :3

My love language is gift giving, I love to give people things and make people baked goods and write them things and aaa I just love it. Problem is I hate when people give things to me in return which they often feel like they have to. It just makes me feel bad and awkward to recieve gifts, it's another thing I need to work on. Receiving wise I'd love someone who's love language is....actually?? I'm not so sure?? I'd appreciate any, but I feel like quality time is the most important to me.

I'm a bit adventurous, while I like spending days at home I also like to go places and just explore and have fun. Being cooped up inside too much usually puts me in a depression, as I extremely found out during covid. I like to enjoy places with pretty scenery and nature over cities however, crowds do stress me out and I'm a teensy bit of a germaphobic (I say teensy but it's actually kind of not teensy. An awful habit I have is scrubbing my hands raw so they are always dry and in pain. Ironic for someone studying alt. medicine, huh? WORKING TO OVERCOME THOUGH)

I like to watch anime and play games like honkai impact and genshin impact. I love to cosplay pretty characters and go to conventions, I do tend to dress not so modestly however. Cosplays especially I wear revealing ones. My latest cosplan is Elysia from Honkai, her herrscher outfit specifically. I'm just decently confident(-ish) with my body and I like to show it off sometimes.

I fear this is becoming long so I wrap it up. In a relationship I DO NOT want kids. I do however want and value marriage. I need someone patient with me and understanding, and ideally affectionate? I love to dote on people and be doted on in return. And yeah! That's about all I got! I'm excited to see who my Kait assigned soulmate is, hehe. Whoever you pick I am 1000% gonna redo the route of. (Unless they're routeless, in which case fanfic time.)

I match you with...

Jumin.

Hear me out, that might sound wild given that he might not share all of your values on a surface level. But, you have a lot more in common than you think, and you can learn and grow with each other in a way I imagine would be fruitful. You're the kind of person who wants to do something for the world. You want to see some change in a way that can do more than you'd be doing if you were just another part of the machine. You want people to heal in a way that's right for them, not just physically, but emotionally, as well. You see the value in trying to reach someone from all angles.

That kind of out-of-the-box thinking is what works for Jumin. Do you think he acts in the guise of knowing something? He doesn't. He will travel to new avenues and look for better answers when something is not working anymore. He loves to listen, talk, and designate the best way to make changes for customers and employees. The two of you are best described as problem solvers who need to see something in this world move for the better. That's why you can talk for hours and hours about anything with Jumin. You both value discussion in a way that nobody else understands.

But, what you get with Jumin is someone who really won't push you around. Not just in conversation, but in life. He wants to see you grow to a point where you can say "no". He wants you to look everyone in the eyes and say what you mean. You deserve to be heard. Your voice is valuable. He won't let anyone step on you, not even himself. Sure, he will kick himself for the way he treated you during his route, but he learns, listens, and grows to be the kind of man you deserve.

All and all, your life is Jumin is about the two of you. Your family is the RFA and that's all you need. You both love to take care of each other! It's sweet that you'll have a race to see who can make breakfast first just to surprise the other... races to the kitchen aren't unheard but... let me tell you, Elizabeth beats the two of you there every time. She has the zoomies.

[honeystwiggypeach]

Okay! So fantasy au request where Saiki is a prince and reader is a mushroom elf! An elf who grows mushrooms on their body and has a big mushroom hat. Well prince Saiki goes to the forest for peace and quiet and meets reader :D idk if that's a weird request, I'm sorry 😅

Mushroom

Prince Saiki x Mushroom fairy/elf!reader(gender neutral!)

Part two!

Omg no that’s such a cute idea😭I love it cause they’re like a little elf who has this giant mushroom hat(the traditional like red ones with white cream spots and the bottom of it is white) they’re hat ties in a bow under they’re little chin😭(ok so they’re an elf so I’d say they’ve got like they’re traditional form which is a lot smaller they’re not itty bitty but they’re like the size of a small dog, I’m horrible at comparisons😭) and a second size that’s the height of the reader!! This is such a great and good request I love it thank you for requesting it’s so cute😭😭

So I changed the mushrooms to grow onto their hat because I wanted them to kind of like wear the hat all the time(it’s not attached to them or anything) but I couldn’t figure out where else I’d have mushrooms grow from without it being like from their hair or something but I like the top of the hat more!!

You’ve lived in the forest for a very, very long time, in a tiny village in the fallen things from the oak tree you and your village live underneath.

You were a mushroom elf(or a mushroom fairy!) you typically wore a hat made out of a giant mushroom cap it was the stereotypical red mushroom with cream-white spots with a white underside, the had tied just under your chin in a bow matching the color of the spots on the top of the hat.

Today your village had sent you out to forage some distance away from the village coincidentally the prince of the Kingdom where your village is located in has left his castle to get away from his parents, who are so in love with eachother.

You had a tan wicker basket in the crease of your arm as you rugged small berries from their branches and set them in your basket. You had decided it would be best to go out in your second form as you would be able to defend yourself against any travelers trying to come into the sacred forest.

Prince Kusuo had changed into discreet clothing similar to those of someone who lived in the kingdom except on his boots he had his family seal and all accents were in what was very obviously real gold.

You had seen him out of the corner of your eye as you crouched down to pick a few berries. You continued to get closer and closer every time the bush you were picking from was close to empty until they’re was only the bush you were behind and the tree he was resting against between the two of you.

He could hear your thoughts of “who does this guy think he is lounging around in our sacred forest??”

You continued to creep foreword until Saiki reached back and flipped you over his shoulder so you were sat cross cross infront of him.

You stared at him with wide eyes a small blush forming on your cheeks.

Saiki came here for peace and quiet but if he was being honest you sounded just as bad as Kaidou right now(I swear I love Kaidou but he’s like so many questions about everything😭😭)

He sighs closing his eyes and leaning against the tree once again. He can almost see how you carefully scooch closer and closer to him until your almost near his face.

He peeks one eye open and when you glance towards him you shrink. How could you let him fluster you that much? What if he decided to capture you and put you in a mason jar??

“I wouldn’t put you in a mason jar…I’m not that cruel.” He states crossing his arms as he stares down at you.

You quickly slap a hand over your mouth, he wants to resist a giggle.

“You didn’t say it out loud.” He says letting out a sigh which vaguely sounded like a hidden laugh.

He hears as your thoughts trail from how in the hell hes read your mind to how your supposed to get the basket back home.

Before he knows it he’s offering to help you bring the basket back home. He tells himself it’s because he feels slightly guilty for scaring/flustering you until you shrank but deep down he knows it’s because he finds you attractive(in a like cute and intriguing way because all the members of the kingdom likely avoid him because they know he’s a psychic!)

This may be a bit bad because I litterally am rushing to write it because I like it so much and want to see how I’m gonna make it end😭

[melkormajere]

Lord of the Rings Musical Act 1

This is the transcript for the amazing Video from "Lord of the Rings fan" on youtube. *(This is the Edit that wasn't on AO3 when @emeraldskulblaka lent me a massive hand. With parts I couldn't get the audio from)

The show opens with the hobbits dancing to " The Springle-ring"

Prologue:

Voice: "Long Ago, when the world was green, and hobbits were still numerous and prosperous, Mr Bilbo Baggins held a long-awaited party. (Fireworks)

Bilbo: My dear friends, today I reach the remarkable age of eleventy-one, but today is not just my birthday. No no no no*(ad-libbed) but it is also the day that young Frodo comes of age. He has become like a son to me…I've looked out for this lad since his parents passed away. He is like a son to me and as of today, he is also my heir. I hereby bequeath everything I own -pause- yes, everything to Frodo Baggins. For I am going travelling one last time.

Bilbo (Singing): See the road flows past your door-step calling for your feet to stray. Like a deep and rolling river, It will sweep you far- away.

Voice: Then Bilbo took a ring secretly from his pocket, a plain gold Ring. Bilbo (speaking): and so this is it

Voice: He slipped the ring carefully on his finger….. Bilbo: Goodbye. Voice: And vanished.He was never seen in these parts again. But the ring stayed behind. Nothing much else of note occured in the Shire for seventeen years. V: But the strange attachment Bilbo had shown to that plain gold ring worried the great wizard, Gandalf the Grey. V: That worry lodged in his mind and would not leave him. There were echoes in it of a distant story in a darker time. V: Seventeen winters came and went as the wizard searched for answers in far off lands. V: But in the Shire things remained much as they had always been- until the day that everything changed.

Inside Bag End. FRODO is seated, looking at the book of Bilbo’s adventures. SAM appears at the door, taking off his gardening apron and brushing dirt from his hands.

SAM: Right, then. I’ve lifted the dahlias and I’ll start on the crocuses first thing tomorrow. (getting no response) Mr Frodo?

FRODO: What? Sorry, Sam. Thinking about Uncle Bilbo. It was a night just like this when he left. Seventeen years ago today.

SAM: No one could have stopped him, you know.

FRODO: Sometimes I wish I’d gone with him. It’s like, my feet have got a journey longing for the mountains and the wild lands and beyond.

SAM: Ah, now, that will be the Fallohide blood. As my Gaffer always says…

ROSIE: (off) Sam?

ROSIE COTTON appears at the door.

ROSIE: Ready then, Sam? A fine evening, Mr Baggins.

FRODO: A very fine evening, Rosie!

SAM: Ah… Almost ready. Coming down to the Ivy Bush, Mr Frodo?

FRODO: Not tonight, Sam. Anyway, it looks like you’ve all the company you need.

SAM blushes a little and takes ROSIE’s hand.

ROSIE: You’d be very welcome, Mr Baggins.

SAM: Good ale, good pipeweed and good companions. What more could a hobbit want?

ROSIE: Supper, Sam. Mrs Bracegirdle’s tarragon dumplings in a rich mushroom gravy.

SAM: Followed by milk jelly with raspberries and a rhubarb custard. Oh.

ROSIE: Oh. Come on, then. Heyday, Mr Baggins!

FRODO: (smiling) Heyday, Rosie. ‘Bye, Sam.

SAM: Cheerio. (Door Closes)

Frodo (singing): See the road flows past your door-step Calling for your feet to stray Like a deep and rolling river, it will sweep them far away. (knock knock knock knock)

Gandalf: FRODO BAGGINS! Frodo: Who's there!? (Knocking continues) Frodo: Alright Alright Alright Just a minute, just a minute, hang on, who are you? Gandalf: Is that anyway to greet an old friend? Frodo: Ohhhhh Mister Gandalf Sir it's you! Oh what a pleasant surprise and after all this time. Gandalf: You look the same as ever, not a day older than when Bilbo left Frodo: Well, What brings you back here? Gandalf: Not a day older I swear Frodo: well You'll have to forgive me Mister Gandalf Sir, why I wasn't expecting company, well there's some Plum cake. Not much, although but it is Mrs.Bracegirdle's plum cake Gandalf: Do you still have that gift? the one Bilbo left behind? Frodo: Yes! Yes I kept it safe just as he/you told me! Gandalf: Let me see it Frodo: Now don't tell me you've come all this way just for an invisability ring. It is a good trick I know but HEY HEY WAIT! Gandalf: Have you ever used it? Frodo: To disappear or? I have been tempted, especially when the Sackville-Bagginses came to call.

Gandalf: Tempted? were you indeed?" Gandalf: Take it, go on Frodo: Huh well it's still cold *(Whispered : "Ash Nazg" and waterphone) Frodo: There are markings, They weren't there before Gandalf: Old fool! Too much time has been lost Frodo: Mister Gandalf sir Gandalf: He was reluctant wasn't he? Bilbo To give it up to you? Frodo: Yes, Yes he did F- Gandalf: I should have known then, I had my suspicions of course but how do we *( sort/settle/set/) Them Frodo? How could I be sure? Frodo: Mister Gandalf, I don't know what you are talking about Gandalf: No? Of course you don't, listen to me carefully Frodo, Ancient days the Rings of power were made, to halt decay, To preserve what was loved. Each with it's own magic but a master ring was forged To control Middle Earth. It was made by the Dark Lord, the name that hangs like a shadow over the borders of old stories." Frodo: But the Dark Lord I thought this was all a legend Gandalf: Not legend, history, the Dark Lord poured into the Ring, that one ring, his malice and a large part of his hideous strength, he used it to try and conquer Middle Earth, but he was defeated. and the one Ring was lost. Frodo: The one Ring? Gandalf: Those markings remove all doubt. They reveal themselves only in fire…and are written in the black language of Mordor Gandalf: Which I will not utter here, But in the common Tongue ' One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to Find them, One Ring to bring them all, And in the darkness bind them' Frodo: But what would Uncle Bilbo want with this? why he's just a Shire Hobbit like the rest of us. Gandalf: (No idea) Of all the places in the world at least in the Shire. But things are changing Frodo. In the East the Dark Lord is rising once more. He searches far and wide for the One Ring, he must not have it! If he does, his power will be beyond our wildest imaginings. Gandalf: Frodo, he has heard the name 'Baggins' Frodo: What (wot) Gandalf: And the words should lead them to The Shire Frodo: The Shire? Well then We must get rid of it!

Frodo: Perhaps you'd better take it then. Gandalf: NO! (No idea on the audio here) Gandalf: I would have a power too great and terrible * (I think that is what is said) Frodo: I'm sorry, Mr Gandalf, Sir, I didn't know. But a thing like this can't stay here. And if you can't take it away, then I will. Gandalf: Hobbits are surprising creatures…soft as butter you can be and yet tough sometimes as old trees . If you take it you must leave and go soon as possible, You must leave behind the name 'Baggins' and take the title 'underhill' Frodo: Underhill?! Gandalf: Trust no one and this is vital Frodo, DO NOT put on the ring. Frodo: Right Gandalf: I'll explain more when I can Frodo: But how far shall I go? Gandalf: I can see no farther than you Frodo. But if you take my advice, Go first to the Elves at Rivendell (offstage I presume) Sam: ELVES?! Someone: A spy?! Gandalf: SAMWISE GAMGEE!!!!! Standby: (Sam Enters) Sam: (" I was just trimming the hedge mister Gandalf") *(12:00) Gandalf: what have you heard? Sam: About that Ring and the Elves and the the- Gandalf: You must forget it all Sam: Oh Mister Frodo , Oh Mister Gandalf Please Gandalf: Wait

(Gandalf moves) "You shall go" With Frodo Sam: Me? Go to Rivendell to see the Elves?! I have always wanted to see Elves Gandalf: HAHA Gandalf: I will seek council with Saruman the white, he is the leader of my order, We(I) will meet you along the way.

Gandalf ?: However you do not travel entirely unaided. The Rangers of the North are even now on the watch. Sam: Rangers? Gandalf: You will never see them,they work in secret, to protect the Shire and all these lands, from the sea to the Misty Mountains. Expect me at Bree at the Sign of the Prancing Pony. Sam: Prancing Pony….. Right Gandalf: Frodo!!!!! Sam!!!!! As the Hobbits might say "May the hairs on your toes never fall out." Frodo and Sam: (Laughter) Sam: wow, Rivendell, No Hobbit has ever been so far from the Shire Frodo: Except Uncle Bilbo, now he'd know exactly what to do here, Sam(?): Except we must go to that stranger(Ranger?) at Bree and there's no sense in hanging about. A little bit of plum cake, I'll pack some of that for you, Mr Frodo. Sam: (I can't hear this line) (13:43) Frodo: Are you sure you want to come with me? Frodo: What about Rosie? Sam: Well you can't go all that way by yourself, can you? what if you got into a pickle? Besides, It's just a there and back again journey. Frodo: Alright then hahahaahahahaah Sam: Mister Frodo?

(Frodo and Sam Exit) Sam: Mister Frodo Frodo: ("You always said") you wanted an Adventure Sam: might be two

Frodo (Speaking): Come on"

THE ROAD GOES ON

Sam: There's a road calling you to stray. Frodo: That's what Uncle Bilbo would say Sam: Step by Step pulling you away Both: Under moon and star. Take the road no matter how far Frodo: Where it leads no one ever knows Don't look back Follow where it goes

Both:

Far beyond the sun Take the road wherever it may run The Road goes on, ever-ever (Rangers: Mountain and valley and ) On, (Pasture and meadow) Hill by Hill (Stretching unending) mile by (for) mile (mile after mile) Field by field, (Fendland and moorland,) Stile by (and) stile, the road goes on, (shoreline and canyon) ever ever on. (bordered by hurdle and hedgerow and stile.) So behind the Moon and beyond the sun, Step by step where the road may run (* Merry and Pippin enter)

Merry and Pippin: (loudly making yelling noises) Sam(?): Uh what was that? I don't like (frightened jumble of words) Merry and Pippin: (Still yelling) Frodo or Sam: Merry?! OH! Pippin!!!!! What are you two doing here? Merry or Pippin: We aren't Stupid Pippin or Merry: We know who your visitor was Mister Gandalf the Grey was involved in this and it's got to be something big!!!!! Merry or Pippin: And you aren't getting mixed up in something weird Frodo A Hobbit: Join us? (why would they say that?!) A Hobbit: Oh go on Frodo: This may be Merry or Pippin: we are your cousins Frodo, You can trust us with anything Merry or Pippin" Your secret?! AND! we'll just follow Merry or Pippin: So? How about it? Frodo (spoken): I don't appear to have much choice Pippin: You don't Frodo: Well, alright. ALL YELL EXCITEDLY Pippin: Oh no not that way, there's nothing but trees, hey you know I'm scared of trees Merry: Pippin That was a long time ago, look I spent hours around here when I was younger. I know some less tree-ish ways. Alright? ("Well c'mon then")

Pippin (Solo): One more mile, then it's time to eat. Pick some pears succulent and sweet, to the farthest shore Take the road a hundred miles more.

Merry (solo): Sweet pink trout, tickled from a stream. Milk a goat, churn it into cream Far beyond the sun, Take the rod whereever it runs

(Merry and Pippin and Offstage men) The Road goes on (Frodo and Sam and the Rangers: see the road flows) Ever ever on (Past your doorstep,) Moor by moor, (calling for your) Glen by glen, Vale by (feet to stray) Vale (Like a deep and) Fen by Fen, (rolling river,) The road goes on (It will sweep them) ever ever on, (far away.)

Girls: Numenna Tenors/Baritones/Basses: Just beyond the far horizon Lies a waiting

Girls: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Auta Ire) Tenors/Baritones/Basses: world unknown Like a dawn it's beauty beckons with a wonder all it's own

Elranien: Elen sila lumenn' omentielvo! Sam(?): Well what in the name of wonder!!!!! Sam: ELVES!!!!!

Girls: Numenna Autaire Yalume Hilya. Numenna Autaire Yallume (17:45: PLEASE, I've edited the ranges on this audio so much, and I can't make it any clearer) Elven Woman (Elranrien): "This is indeed wonderful. Four hobbits in a wood at night." Elránien: AND YOU!!!!! Frodo Baggins Frodo: How do you know my name? Elránien: You are wise to ask questions, though we were warned(?) For this mission, for these Rangers are following (The best guess I have for this is " You are wise to ask questions, for this mission, is very dangerous. We have Rangers who watch all around you) Pippin: Maybe we should turn back then Merry: I'm not turning back Pippin Merry: No no of course we are not, but we might find another path or perhaps plan a bit more Elranrien: The elves are know of your journey

Elránien: (something) Meridock Brandybuck, Samwise Gamgee, much help on your great task Pippin: What what great task?

Elranrien: "Farewell" Sam: Oh no please wait Elven Woman: The wide world is all around you you can fence yourself in but you cannot forever hold it back. May you go in the world without shadow, Namarie. (She speaks in Elvish)

(Song continues)

Sam: Elves now that is an eye opener Merry?: Never figured ourselves this far west, never heard of elves travelling east Pippin: Now what exactly is this great task then Frodo Frodo: Well you may not like it but it troubles me both (?! 19:30)

Girls: Hilya* ( Quenya: "to follow") Girls: Ya Anumena Hilya Hilya Hilya Earyalame Ah (Ya Anumenna) Yallume. Hilya Hilya Autaire (Hilya Hilya Auta ire)

Yallume* (Quenya: "at last") Autiena yalluma me

Ladies: Numena Autaire Yalume Hilya * (Numena = West)

ISENGARD-ORTHANC

Saruman (Spoken) : Welcome to Isengard, old friend. Female voices: Ea Arda Ainulindale

SARUMAN

[FEMALE VOICES] Eä, Arda, Ainulindalë. Gandalf: Saruman the world needs your wisdom, Saruman: you come to speak of the dark lord Gandalf: indeed, he has sent forth the black riders they have crsossed the river heading west they are closing in on the shire (3 Girls) Eä, Arda, Ainulindalë. Aratar, Maiar, Rana, Nenar Aratar, Maiar, Rana, Nenar. Gandalf: already we both know what they seek Saruman: if you know of its wherabouts then you must inform the white council Women: Ilúvatar, Ainur, Valar Saruman: Gandalf, our time is at hand, this is why we were sent to middle earth, Perhaps if we were to find the one ring before him (Female Voices singing: Ilúvatar, Ainur, Valar.) Saruman: we could master all the Dark Lord has learned and done since the hour it was forged, turn his own power against him Gandalf: Use the Ring? Saruman: Already I am building (creating) an army for ending the war, (Female Voices: Orome, Araw) Saruman: in furnaces fed with the great trees of Fangorn Gandalf: The tree hearders will not welcome YOU destroying their ancient forest. (Female Voices: Orome, Araw) Saruman: My friend we cannot let sentiment distract us Saruman: If the Dark Lord is to believe We are his allies Gandalf: HIS ALLIES? Saruman: Yes we build armies of our own in secret and appear to work for his cause, (Female Voices: Nenar, Rana) Saruman: but turn against him when the ring is ours. Gandalf: Such a strategy could NEVER be concealed from his eye!!!!! and who may work with him and remain uncorrupted? (Female Voices: Nenar, Rana) Saruman: This is an opportunity for the light to triumph , perhaps the last opportunity we will ever know Saruman: Do not abandon your calling, where is the ring? Gandalf: I do not know where the ring is now, Saruman: so you will stay here in Isenguard until you tell me as leader of the white council I command it Gandalf: Sauruman I must release myself from your authority SPX: BANG Female Voices: Eä, Arda, Ainulindalë. Eä, Arda, Ainulindalë Saruman: you will see what is done, with or without you the ring will be found, and used against the shadow to build a dominian of light Gandalf: Saruman we were sent here to obey* not control Gandalf: Saruman SARUMAN!!!!!

Hobbit: Well here we are at the Prancing Pony Hobbit: I don't like the look of this place Hobbit(Frodo?): But we've got too mister Gandalf is waiting Hobbit: But i don't want too Jumbled talking: 22:54

Town Guy(?): Whats ya name whats ya business (mumble mumble) Town Guy: (I'm guessing it's: Can't be too careful on a night like this) Frodo: Our names and business are our own sir Town person: Suit yourselves Merry: I'm a Brandybuck, He's (23:11) And he's my friend right here Mr Bag-- Frodo: Underhill! I'm Mister Underhill

Pre-Bree ( Bouzouki plays tune)

Someone: UNDERHILL EH? Well you coming in here or not? All Hobbits: YES WE ARE!!!!! Horses: SOUNDS Cat and the Moon

Guy: This way young masters heheheheeh Make yourselves comfortable then Guy: What's all this then? Shire Hobbits? Town Guy: You leave them be Bill Burnman But you two got all the (23:50: PLEASE it's supposed to be slurred drunking mumbling,) Guy: Ugly little brutes* Pippin: OKAY A Hobbit: PIPPIN A Hobbit: There won't be much coming from me Frodo or Sam: We are Hobbits who are very tired, and seek only rest and quiet Innkeeper(?): Yes right sorry Someone: So whose a Baggins Frodo: Oh no no (Can't hear this: It sounds like an Aragorn intro, but It's HARD to hear 24:07) Frodo: Oh no nearby, we've arranged to meet a friend near here. Person: There are no friends in the wilds Someone: ENOUGH!!!!! Merry or Pippin: Our poor tired toes are ready for a hot bath and a jolly big supper Merry or Pippin: These great tasks really work up an appetite

Merry or Pippin: Well what room if you've got landlord (?) Merry or Pippin: A good venison pie perhaps? Parsnips and a dillsbury pie(?!) Innkeeper: Bread and cold meat is all that we offer these days

MerrY: Well we'll have four plates of that then Pippin: EIGHT!!!!!! (or each) Strider(?): So mister underhill you've been calling yourself? Frodo: Yes well it is my name, who are you? Strider: It is wise to be cautious, your friend would be well to follow your example A Hobbit: and these big folk places aren't much fun* are they? No fun no ( 24:50: It sounds like rambling food names?) A Hobbit: If these breelanders knew the important business we were on Frodo and Sam:NO NO NO NO NO NO Frodo: OH, what he means is A Hobbit: How about a song Barliman: what a good idea sir, You know we haven't had a song around these parts in a long , well i wouldn't know Barliman: A song to lift our spirits Frodo: Oh, Right. Er…..

THE CAT AND THE MOON

[FRODO] There's an inn of old renown Where they brew a beer so brown Moon came rolling down the hill One Hevensday night to drink his fill.

[FRODO( official is Pippin)/MERRY] On a three-stringed fiddle there Played the Ostler's cat so fair The hornéd Cow that night was seen To dance a jig upon the green.

(All four) Called by the fiddle to the Middle of the muddle where the Cow with a caper sent the Small dog squealing. Moon in a fuddle went to Huddle by the griddle but he Slipped in a puddle and the World went reeling.

Downsides went up- hey! Outsides went wide. As the fiddle Played a twiddle And the Moon slept till Sterrenday. Upsides went west- hey! Broadsides went boom. With a twiddle on the fiddle In the middle by the griddle And the Moon slept till Sterrenday.

[FRODO] Dish from off the dresser pranced, Found a spoon and gaily danced.

[PIPPIN] (Official says Merry) Horses neighed and champed their bits For the bloodshot Moon had lost his wits.

[MERRY] (Official says Pippin) Well, cow jumped over, Dog barked wild, Moon lay prone and sweetly smiled.

[SAM] Ostler cried, "Play faster, Cat!

[ALL] Because we all want to dance like that."

[FRODO/PIPPIN] (Official says All Four) Gambol and totter till you're Hotter than a hatter and you Spin all akimbo Like a windmill flailing. Whirl with a clatter till you Scatter every cotter and the Strings start a-pinging as the World goes sailing.

[ALL HOBBITS] Downsides go up- hey! Outsides go wide. You can clatter With your platter But the Moon slept till Sterrenday. Upsides go west- hey! Broadsides go boom. With a batter and a clatter You can shatter every platter But the Moon slept till Sterrenday.

Fi-fo-fiddle-diddle Fi-fo-fiddle-diddle Hey-yey-yey-yey-oh-ho Hey-yey-yey-yey-oh-ho Hey-hey-din-gen-do Hey-hey-din-geli-do Hoo-rye-and-hott-a-cott-a ho Hoo-rye-and-hott-a-cott-a ho ho Hott-a-cott-a-hotta-ko Hott-a-cott-a-ko-cott-a-ko-ho Fi-fo-fiddle-diddle-hi-ho Fi-fo-fiddle-diddle-hi-ho Ho fiddlee-ding-galli-do Ho fiddlee-ding-galli-do Hoo-rye-hoo-rye oops-oops- ay! Hoo-rye-hoo-rye oops-oops- ay! Hotta-cotta-hotta-cotta-mi-fo-fo Hotta-cotta-hotta-cotta-mi-fo-fo Hotta-cotta-hotta-cotta-hotta-cotta-mi-fo-fo!

Downsides go up- hey! Outsides go wide. With a twiddle on the fiddle In the middle by the griddle And the Moon slept till Sterrenday. Upsides go west- hey! Broadsides go boom. With a batter and a clatter You can shatter every platter But the Moon slept till Sterrenday.

(townsfolk continue) Downsides go up- hey! Outsides go wide. With a twiddle on the fiddle In the middle by the griddle And the Moon slept till Sterrenday. Upsides go west- hey! Broadsides go boom. With a batter and a clatter

Sam: Mister Frodo (repeats this a lot of times) Ferny: He's vanished. A damned magician. Never trust a hobbit Frodo: You are here I can hear you*(29:39) Horses: NEIGH Frodo: (Shouting)

Sam:FRODO?! FRODO HOLD ON

Frodo: O Elbereth Githoniel! Sam: Mister Frodo are you alright what are you doing to him?

Strider: Be at peace Sam Gamgee Frodo: how do you know my name? Strider: Gandalf arranged for us to meet, all here Merry or Pippin: So you're a friend of mister Gandalf? Merry or Pippin: (where is he? 30:25) Strider: I do not know Strider: And that itself is a great concern Sam (?) : How do we trust him? Someone: WAIT! how can we trust you? Strider: I'm a ranger from the north, I've followed your journey seeking since it began. Men call me 'Strider' Pippin(?): STRIDER HUH Strider: And if by my life or death I can save you I will, your friend is sorely hurt The Black riders struck him with a Morgull blade* (I'm assuming this was the line) Evil lingers in the wound Hobbits: (all shouting and moaning) Hobbit: But you must do something, Strider: we've got no time, the Black Riders were sent by the Dark Lord to find your friend or rather the thing he carries we must get him to Rivendell, here take these A Hobbit(Probably Pippin): Swords? we hobbits never use weapons Strider: You are meant to learn quickly (Audio of them quarraling, it sounds ad-libbed followed by the loud neighing of a horse that had to be EDITED to not destroy headsets. 31:00)

FLIGHT TO THE FORD

Strider: "They must not find us. This way, Quietly, we will cross the river at the ford"

(Lots of random chatter 31:20)

A Hobbit: We are running as fast as we can Sam: we are running too fast for Mister Frodo Strider: Stay with us Frodo Strider(?): Stay close Strider (?) : As close as you can (There's a lot of random chatter during the chanting 31:53) [DARK VOICES] Thrakatulk, ash nazg thrakatulk Thrakatulk, ash nazg thrakatulk Thrakatulk, ash nazg thraka Thrakatulk, ash nazg thrakatulk Thrakatulk, ash nazg thraka Thrakatulk, ash nazg thrakatulk Thrakatulk, ash nazg thraka Thrakatulk, ash nazg thrakatulk Thrakatulk, ash nazg thraka Someone: "Come on!"

[RANGERS] Elbereth Gilthoniel Fanuilos O menel palandiriel

[DARK VOICES] Thrakatulk, ash nazg thrakatulk Thrakatulk, ash nazg thraka Thrakatulk, ash nazg thrakatulk Thrakatulk, ash nazg thraka Thrakatulk, ash nazg thrakatulk Thrakatulk, ash nazg thraka Thrakatulk, ash nazg thrakatulk Thrakatulk, ash nazg thraka

(G: Stepping stones "Tai Chi Sticks") [ELVES] Yay-ee-yay-ee-yay Yay-ee-yay-ee-yay Yay-ee-yay-ee-yay Yay-ee-yay-ee-yay (Girls and Elrond) A duin asgar, a duin veleg Colo idh a rochbin vyrn A duin asgar, a duin veleg O gorthaur byr. Ego. A!

Frodo: Go back to Mordor. You Shall have neither the Ring, No me.

Elf solo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Elf Spoken: RISE RIVER RISE Elf Solo: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHahhhhhhh EH.

(34:50: Arwen and Strider Speak in Elvish PLEASE)

LULLABY "The song of the Traveller" (Soundtrack is " The song of Hope") [ARWEN] Undulv ily Tier lom; Ar caita morni sindanriello I falmalinnar imb met, Oial

At the edge of darkness Hope is whispering still, Tender, unerring, Gently stirring.

Memories unfurling in the mind. Warm wind from a far, forgotten country, Long left behind. Wandering the empty road, In twilight's silver shade, Following the hidden paths Lonely and afraid. Let the sunlight free the heart, Forever bound to roam, And let the waking morning find The weary traveller returning home.

Strider: Arwen Evenstar Arwen: You've come back, I would hardly have known you Strider: You look the same as ever, unchanging as starlight Arwen: You disappeared even from Elvish sight when you became a ranger, why be in secret, unheeded, alone Strider: That's been my choice Arwen: You are grown, (soft laugh) as a youth you used to follow me through these halls and corridors like a moonstruck boy Strider: Simply to walk on paths your feet had trodded, make my heart sing I must have seen the faulty.*(37:50) Arwen: I have longed for your return "The Tides of our lives are turning. It was once said that you will be amoung the great who's valor will confront the shadow. Strider: Perhaps….. (End as Frodo wakes) Frodo: Where am I? Arwen: Wake gently Frodo,You are in Rivendell and I am Arwen, daughter of Elrond Strider: I was Elrond the one who caused the river to rise and sweeping away the black riders and the evenstar removed the fragments of morgul might(?) from from your shoulder Gandalf: FRODOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Frodo: Gandalf! Gandalf: you put on the ring!!!!! must be warned, the black riders could see you (38:40)

Frodo: I didn't want to put it on, it was like it wanted me too I don't know why Gandalf: Look into my eyes now fortunately for you it would appear that Hobbits resist this the most, you fade very reluctantly Frodo: I've done what you asked well with mr striders help from which i'm most obliged i'm sure Frodo: The ring is safe at rivendell Gandalf: The ring has reached Rivendell it may not yet be safe we await master Elrond's advice Arwen: What of Saruman's council? Gandalf: HA! Saruman gave me no council, he imprisoned me. Forces he did not control came to my aide and I escaped but Saruman is creating an army Frodo: An Army? Gandalf: He pretends to have an allience with the Dark Lord, he believes that he may work in secret for the light but that *39:36 ("is yet to be seen"?) Arwen: Saruman the white was our greatest hope Gandalf: Yes but now our enemies mulitply Frodo: But me and the others, we can go home now, back to the shire Gandalf: Come- Hobbit: MISTER FRODO *( Hobbits shouting excitedly) Sam: I'll never turn my back on you again Merry(?): Sam's been at your bedside morning, noon and night Pippin(?): And there are such things here Frodo, Barrels*( bags?) So big you could swim in them A Hobbit: The most wonderful selection of- A Hobbit:Their songs are like-- Hobbits: (All talking excitedly) Gandalf: Enough Enough There is no time for fiddle faddle Pippin: or Merry: Mister Gandalf sir, we waited for you at Bree Mister Gandalf Sir Gandalf: I know Frodo, can you stand Frodo:I think so Gandalf: Good dress yourself we are summoned by Master Elrond to the council chamber YOU TOO SAM!!!!! Sam: Me?! well, I'm glad you are up and about you had me worried Hobbits: (Talking over each other 40:25) A Hobbit: Now you shoulda seen the way Strider was looking at the lady Arwen Frodo: Huh I'm not surprised she's lovely A Hobbit: Yes she is Pippin(?):But she's thousands of years older than he -- (Laughter) Hobbit: Thousands of years? Hobbit:She don't look it Frodo:No Sam(?): That's because she's an elf A Hobbit: Half Elf, Strictly Speaking A Hobbit:But Strider is spitting mark my word A Hobbit: You've had too much of that spiced wine Meriadoc!!!!! 40:55: Mumbling

Merry(?): No, Some of us are observing the fine things that-- Hobbits: Chattering Sam: Excuse me, Excuse me Excuse me Merry but someone special wants to say hello to Frodo a moment Frodo: to me? who do I know here? Bilbo: Frodo, My lad? Frodo: Uncle Bilbo Bilbo: It's Frodo isnt it? my eyes aren't what they were Frodo: it's me oh it's me oh, well most of me anyhow, I've had more close shaves than "Fatty Bolger's had dumplings" Hobbit: Hey let's get some more of that spiced wine Frodo: Well, where have you been? Bilbo: Here and there and back again the world isnt the way it was and you know why, well in fact I like it here, Elves are exceptionally good cooks Frodo:Uncle Bilbo Bilbo: What? Frodo: You look "You look old" Bilbo: What's even old? Frodo my Lad, Well I am old, it started to effect me* ( 41:50) once I left the Shire, and left that Ring Frodo or Bilbo: Well that ring, well you can't imagine what scrapes that's gotten me into , Frodo: you don't know the half of it, come on, Mister Gandalf's waiting Bilbo: Well wait wait wait Bilbo: Have you got it with you? Is it in your shirt? * Well show me, well Frodo show me it was mine afterall wasn't it BILBO: My Precious Bilbo: SHOW ME MY BOY Frodo: NO NOOOOO no, no I don't think I should Frodo: Bilbo, I'm Sorry. (42:50: He's pleading, this is some of what is said) Bilbo:No no no no no matter how I beg or plead I wasn't to touch it again. Bilbo: "Don't adventures ever have an end." Frodo: It's alright uncle Bilbo Frodo: "I'm here now and I'll stay with you"alright?

ELROND/BOROMIR (This part is incredibly hard to assign words to any character, all are best guesses) Council: chattering and argueing Elrond (?):All drawn here strangers from many races from distant lands" to find an answer to the new peril that confronts the world Someone: Master Elrond Help me Someone:Now that sends (43:49) to the dwarves Someone: Sicker in the fields? Someone: Dwarves! Someone:Dwarves are weakening daily Someone:The rivers have turned bitter poisoning my own* Someone:and my harvests all die* Everyone: Arguing loudly and overlapping Gandalf or Elrond: SILENCE Elrond:These are signs of the Dark Lords power has touched your lands, but my home lies closest to his dark realm of Mordor and is already sinking beneath the shadow Boromir:OUR BORDERS ARE UNDER ATTACK Boromir: My father owns the land stewardship* (44:20) a man whose blood I am proud to share and he has sunken into a strange lethargy, an enchantment which spreads through my people like a sickeness leaving us defenseless Elrond: Boromir if the decline is so great for a warrior such as your father (it) is a stark warning to us all Boromir:Oh suddenly the shadow has lifted* (44:42) it was a dream that drew me to this place in my dream I saw the lost sword of the king, here at Rivendell. And in my dream that sword re-awakened our bloodlines* (Our lands? 44: 57) , is that sword here master Elrond? if it is then let us unite behind it once again, form an army of the Free Peoples! as our ancestors did when the Dark Lord was first overthrown. People, I'm assuming Men: YAY Other people, probably the elves and dwarves: Arguing noises Gimli?: That's another time Boromir, Men and Elves aren't what they were Boromir (or Legolas): Dwarves are not what they were either Everyone (45:20) (but the Hobbits and probably Gandalf etc): FIGHTING WORDS

Standby Frodo: (OG: Excuse me) Sorry, Mr.Boromir Sir, I'm sorry I don't understand all of this, who are the Free peoples and what's this lost sword?" Sam:Yes, I agree mister Frodo (45:30 "and what's this about making ammends?") Elrond: You are wise to ask, Frodo Baggins. A thousand years ago when Sauron the Dark Lord first rose and tried to conquer middle eartht he great king of the lands of men raised a mighty army against him Boromir: and defeated him Elrond: Yes, the great king cut the one ring from the dark lord's hand. the force of the blow cleaved the king's sword in two there after that the broken sword became a token of kinship passed down generation upon generation for the rightful heir Boromir: but the sword and the line of kinds have been gone now for centuries Gandalf: legends tell us that the rightful heir will return and he will lead us when the time comes Boromir:the time has come there is no king, like the one ring the royal line is lost forever Gandalf: no thing can be lost forever least of all the one ring Gimli: the one ring was found? Gandalf:Centuries since, when the Great king cut the one ring from sauron's hand his first thought was to destroy it but he could not bring himself to do it when in the end he was attacked and killed beside the Anduin River the ring sliped from his hand into the water and was found one day Ganda;f: "One named Deagol" He was swimming, in the river, with his cousin, when it's glitter attracted him, and he picked it up, BUT! his cousin wanted the ring, Had to have it!, They fought, Deagol strangled "The killer's name was Smeagol, who is now called Gollum" He took the Ring and for hundreds of years, he kept it Bilbo: "I took a Ring from Gollum" Gollum: "My Precious" Gandalf: Yes, that was the one Ring, but no one knew it, Once it was taken from him, he searched for his lost Gandalf and Gollum: Precious Gandalf: He stumbled into Mordor, he was captured, tortured, he was made to swear an oath to recover the ring and to give it over to Sauron Gollum: WE SWEARS Gandalf: That is when he told the Dark Lord of the Shire and of Baggins Legolas: "The ring Gandalf, do you have it now?" Frodo: I have it, I brought it to Rivendell for safe keeping and I'm glad that task is done with Boromir(?): So small a thing, So plain, and yet so powerful Sam:It's been nothing but trouble Sam: AND! it's time I was getting home to my Rosie Gandalf: The question is, what shall we do with it? Someone: Bind*( hide?) it, we could drown it in the sea (48:41) Gandalf: It will not stay hidden forever as it's history shows Gimli(?):Then let's destroy it then, here and now Gandalf: the ring cannot be destroyed here not by any ax we possess Legolas or Boromir: Then the answer is clear, we use it ourselves, for good, not evil Gandalf: The Ring belongs to the Dark Lord, it was made by him alone and conceived for him alone, it strength is too great for man, elf , dwarf All is *(altogether bad 49:14)

Boromir or Legolas: We must not be ruled by fear Gandalf. UPROAR CHATTERING Elrond (?): There is one hope! That the ring be taken back somehow to Mordor it must be cast into the fires of Mount Doom where it was forged, only there can the one ring be unmade and sauron too will be unmade and his evil will vanish like smoke on the wind Gandalf: and so all other rings will lose their power Elrond: That is a sacrifce we must embrace

Standby BILBO: "Very well then" Bilbo the* (49:51) did this, Bilbo will finish*(?) Gandalf: NOOOOO BILBO! Your offer is valued, to be truthful the ring has *(50:05) the task is beyond your strength old friend Frodo: "I'll take the Ring….. To Mordor. Though I don't know the way" (recorder: 50:00 Giggle) Elrond: I think this task was appointed to you Frodo (Elf is singing in background 50:25) Sam: Your not sending him off on such a journey alone I'm going with him Merry or Pippin: Excuse me! we are coming too Merry or Pippin: I'm sorry but "we heard absolutely everything" Merry: Beg your pardon Master Elrond sir, but we won't be left behind Pippin: And you'll need to take someone intelligent Elrond: I would not seperate you either, even if I could "this is the hour of the Shire-folk" when they arise from their quiet fields to shake the towers and councils of the greats Gimli: I will go with him! at your Service Gimli for the Dwarves Legolas: for the elves, Legolas

ELVES Singing: Eh-------------------------- Strider: I ask once again to be your companion Frodo Frodo: Would've begged you to come Gandalf: I TOO WILL GO WITH THE RINGBEARER Elves singing: Eh Elves singing: Eh Elrond: "Yes Gandalf, this shall be your great task" Someone: Will you join us, Boromir? Someone: Your faiths and your courage, we would be honored by your company Boromir: "My way lies South" But help is sorely needed Elves singing: Eh Eh Eh Boromir: "But I will come until our paths divide" Elrond: " You go then-united, Not as an army" but, as a Fellowship, of nine free companions, no oath or bond is placed upon you to go further than you will only on you Frodo who are led charge, not to pass away the ring, nor to delivier it to the enemy or any of his servants nor to let any other handle it, saving great need. Go forth in hope that the small may suceed where the great could not Elrond: "And may the light of " Earendil's " star shine upon your way"

Star of Eärendil

[ARWEN] Star of E'rendil,look Down, hear our cry. Ever shining perfect light, emblazon the sky. Heed us as to thee we sing, Enlighten us in the hope you bring. Guide our way and aid us from on high. (Elf Girl is singing: El-bereth, Gilthoniel. ) [ARWEN & ELVES] A ned l' rasc-dae, i maeglin gorn lin t'l. i ecthel h'n lin s'la orthor i v'r. Hammo men mi lin caun, a caro estel v'n thand. A tiro men, o lin cair an nor Lacho ammen, lacho calad E'rendil-naur, ir men beri-al ned l' beleg baur! Bilbo: Here my boy, you take this Bilbo: It's Sting, my old Elvish blade, Glows with a blue light whenever the agents(53:40) of dark are about and here the strongest lightest armor imaginiable it's called mithril given to me by the greatest of dwarves Bilbo: "Thorin Oakenshielf himself….." Frodo: You know this journey business it's scary but it's exciting too both at the same time Bilbo: that's exactly how it is, with adventures.

Arwen: I give you this, that you will not forget me Strider: I will not forget you, Namarie Arwen: Namarie Elrond: The blessings of elves and men and all free folk goes with the Fellowship of the Ring Arwen: and may you come safe home

Elves Singing: Lead us ever onward, Our weary hope sustaining. Now strengthen our endeavour. Our purpose unite Earendil Elcirion Migiliath Clothe us in your courage, Your hope become our armour chaered Palan diriel aiya, aiya (Your Wisdom be our banner of light) Elbereth Gilthoniel, Star of Earendil (Look down, hear our cry. May the stars that once you kindled ever) (Burnish the sky. Shining ever bright, your hope and your healing light) Note: allargando: HEAR OUR CRY! Guide our way and aid us from on high (O Elbereth hear our cry!) (Guide our way, Oh Elbereth hear our cry!)

Arwen: Wandering the empty roads In twilights silver shade (Tutti men: Elbereth Gilthoniel, look down, hear our cry may the) Arwen: Following the hidden paths alone and unafraid. Let the sunlight free the heart for TM: (stars that once you kindled ever burnish the sky. shining ever bright, your) Arwen: Ever bound to roam, and let the waking morning find the weary traveller returning TM: ( hope and your healing light) Arwen Singing: Home

Elrond: Arwen, Your heart is in your eyes, do not grieve for the Ranger, Arwen: Father Elrond: if you chose a man you must give up your immortality, only heartbreak and loss can follow you are not the first one to dream of a future with a common mortal, learn from their mistakes Arwen Arwen Speaking: "He is no common mortal"

ISENGARD TO SNOW-STORM Saruman: "A vanishing Hobbit?" Orc: "Damned trickster and his idiot friends Saruman: Describe him the one who disappeared Orc: He's a Hobbit, they all look the same….. ugly Saruman: So, and now they have left Rivendell Orc: Then east Saruman: With Gandaf the Grey? Orc: and a ranger and others Saruman: You have done well to have earned this Go now, Shire Hobbits have had the ring all along

Saruman: "Guards" accompany him to the misty mountains four Hobbits amoungst them take your force* (57:34) pursue them and ambush them at the first opportunity bring back the Hobbits Alive, with all their belongings Saruman: "No spoiling" (Yah Yah)

Gandalf: Can we get through? Strider(?): Not this way Legloas: "The snow has blocked the pass" Someone: Where did this storm? Gandalf(?): This is not natural that much is certain Sam: He can't take much more of this mister Gandalf sir Gandalf: We cannot risk frodo belaying on the shoulder*( 58:10) but we cannot cross here Gandalf: Where's Strider? Boromir: The other route is far too perilous A Hobbit:There's another way Gandalf: We cannot cross the mountains we might fall under them UNDER THEM? (58:29) (Garbled arguing about dwarves and tunnels) Here somewhere But they (58:35) (Garbled again) Gandalf: "The gates to the mines of Moria" Boromir: "what gates?" Legolas: Moria? Gandalf: "Pedo!" * (EX-FUCKING SCUSE ME) (58:34) (that is the official written word in the book, not kidding)

RUNES

A Hobbit: Mister Gandalf the ruins Sam: they are in Elvish Legolas: It says " Speak friend and Enter " Gandalf: There were times when there was still close friendships between folk of all races, even Elves and Dwarves Gimli: I've never heard when a bunch of dwarves the friendship was broken Legolas: I have never heard it was the fault of the elves All arguing: (58:56: It's so hard to hear, the audio jumps from over-enhancing the audio to attempt to hear it) Gimli: Elves have no courage! Legolas: and dwarves no-- Gandalf: (SHOUTS) ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh now if all grievances betwen Elves and Dwarves are brought up here Boromir or Strider: "Small friends with braids"?????* ( 59:17) Gandalf: (Shouting in Elvish) Merry or a Hobbit: If mister Gandalf says that we should go through the mine then that is what we should do Hobbits: (shouting) Gandalf: Well why can't I open the gates? (More Elvish)

LAMENT FOR MORIA

Sam: "Speak friend and enter, Please it's cold" Gandalf: "Mellon! Mellon!" (audio is Mechlon Mechlon) Gandalf: "Not difficult after all, all I needed to say was the Elvish word for 'friend' Speak friend and enter, two simple phrases can be a suspicious thing, Thank you Sam Sam: You mean I was wiser than a Wizard? Gandalf:On this occasion, (60:17 "Goes without saying") (also Recorder giggles) Gandalf: THIS WAY! Merry or Pippin: Mister Gandalf Sir I can go no further, our legs are shorter than your sir. Frodo(?): We must keep moving Gandalf: Very well, we will rest but not for long A Hobbit: There must have been millions of dwarves down here at one time, all busy of badgers they were and out of all rock too* ( 6:45)

Gimli: " Once Moria was a city underground full of light and splendor"

LAMENT FOR MORIA

Gimli: Hammer on anvil smote In high halls of stone When Durin ruled with judgement wise On carven throne. Gleaming the vaulted roof From pure basalt grown. Here swords were made of dreadful power That ere was never known

Gimli/Gandalf: Gone,lost, mourn, despair Grieve for the realm that once was there. Gone, lost, mourn, lament The end of the glory none could prevent.

Frodo: Can I sit with you? Gandalf: I was just reaching for a pipe, some good pipe weed (62:25 he says another word) Frodo: "I keep thinking about Gollum" Gandalf: Gollum Frodo: Well, (62:31 "He stopped to do"?) Killed his cousin to get the Ring (62:36 "Thank the viddles?) What did you call him? Smeagol? Gandalf: "Smeagol was his name" He was a Hobbit, (62:45 " like enjoying"?????) Frodo: A Hobbit? Gimli: (Humming) Gandalf: See Frodo, a mortal who bears the one ring cannot die, but neither does he obtain immortal life, he continues, til the end of every moment is a weariness, "The Ring stretched out Gollum's lifespan for centuries and he became what he is now. Frodo: " So how did Bilbo get the Ring?" Gandalf: "By chance, or so it seemed" On one o f his adventures Bilbo was lost in the tunnel in the dark, he tripped and felt the ring beneath his hand HA Gollum has misplaced it you see his "Precious" Gollum (Echoes): Precious Gandalf: When he came upon Bilbo he knew- Gollum: "Who is it?" Bilbo: "i'm Bilbo Baggins from the Shire" Gandalf: And then he saw the Ring in his hand Gollum: "THIEF" Gandalf: In his fury he attacked, he almost killed him but The Ring" Slipped onto Bilbo's finger" Gandalf: "Making him invisible" Gollum: TRICKSEY VILE Gandalf: That's when it happened, Bilbo was terrified he raised his sword to slay Gollum but he could not bring himself to do it. Gandalf: "He turned and ran" The Ring still on his finger, he ran until he found the way out, ever since, Gollum has searched for his Precious, Echoed Gollum: Precious Gandalf: He's searching still Gollum: "bagginses THIEF " Gollum: "We hates Bagginses" FOREVER Frodo: "It's a pity thet Bilbo didn't kill him" Gandalf: "Pity?" It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand, Frodo: what pity for Gollum? No he deserved to die Gandalf: FRODO many that live deserve death, and some that die deserve life, can you give it to them? Frodo: No of course Gimli: (humming) Gone, Lost, Mourn lament Gandalf: NO! then do not be too eager to deal out death and judgement we may still hope for Gollum's cure, perhaps he was meant to find the ring and Bilbo to take it perhaps you are meant to carry it now Gimli (background singing): The end of the glory none could prevent. Frodo: Its like a curse Gandalf: Of course, even the very wise cannot see all CUE cut on sound effect: Stone dropping into well. PIPPIN! Gandalf: "Throw yourself in next time" and be no further nusance, Pippin: "Sorry" Sam:Sir Gandalf: Something has been disturbed Someone: Your sword mister Frodo Frodo:Theres danger and it's close

(65:50: It's REALLY hard to tell who says anything here, this is the best I could find, ad-lib if needed) Random shouting: Is it coming? Someone: There there Someone: it's coming from beneath us Someone:From below Someone:Which way?

THE BALROG

Gandalf:"To the east, there, across the bridge of Khazad-Dum"

Gimli: What is that?*(66:20 "Go back" ) This is how my people met their end! Pippin(?): What is it? Gandalf(?): A Balrog Gandalf: GO GO Do as I say! Swords are of no more use here! This is beyond your help GO GO Someone: RUN RUN Gandalf: " I must hold the narrow way. Run!" I am the servant of the secret fire, Wielder of the flame of Anor! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!

Gandalf: "Fly you fools" Gandalf: FLY!!!!!

Frodo: "Gandalf!"

END OF ACT 1

I own nothing, The audio on that video is rough, and the closed caption are generated. (This isn't me complaining about an old bootleg audio, like it's an amazing compilation video). So enjoy. If anyone wants this deleted then I can delete it.

[crystalcow]

𝑆𝑎𝑝𝑛𝑎𝑝𝑠 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑//𝑆𝑎𝑝𝑛𝑎𝑝 𝑝𝑡 4

Masterlist // child reader ML //

Sapnap x reader !p !child reader

Pronouns used: none specified!

Warnings: swearing, mentions of death, casinos

➳➳➳➳➳┄┄※┄┄➳➳➳➳➳

𝐊𝐢𝐧𝗼𝐤𝗼 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝗼𝐰??

Quackity was telling you all of his plans

He rambled on for hours of his ideas for casinos and how he was going to marry Karl and sapnap

It sounded great

He had his whole plan set up! He even had Sam helping him with the building

But then he left

Just like everyone else

But that was fine! You were just with sapnap

Before Karl came running over rambling on about needed to move his library

He had a library?

“[Redacted] you need to stay close, please”

You looked at him weirdly

Who the fuck was [redacted]

“Karl my names Y/n you idiot” “flame..” “sorry”

He didn’t even notice it and then you had to spend the next couple days hauling over 100 books

“Oo hey what are these! The covers look really weird”

You had found his time travel books

Woops

That man raced over and in the kindest way possible, snatched it from your hands

“Don’t touch those, they are my special books”

You just shrugged and let him be, he freaks you out enough

So you all traveled to this area in the spruce forest and built a really ugly mushroom hut

But hey it’s fine! Foolish thankfully came around later that day and made everything better

So you stuck around

Maybe you needed this, this new start

Oh but prime knows that wouldnt last long

Karl started forgetting

At first it was simple things as just forgetting where he was or little stumbles with names

But eventually he was going away longer and longer

He started calling you by these strange names, some that sound Victorian and western and others that are unlike you

One day he didn’t call you by your name at all

You were hanging around the Sakura trees and the big yin Yang pond waiting for sapnap to come back with George

Then you saw Karl exit the library, running up to him for a hug

It’s been two months since you’ve seen him

You fucking hated it but you couldn’t help but consider him another parental figure

He loved it

But he just stood there as you wrapped your arms around him

Expecting the usual “[reda]- Y/n, I’ve missed you so much my sweet flame!”

But there was nothing just a sad one sided hug

“Hello? I’m sorry but do I know you?”

You were ready to cry

“I’m sorry, I uh must’ve mistaken you for the wrong person” “No that’s fine! Hugs are nice?”

So you left and ran into the library

Scouring throughout all of the books until you found them

The same 8 books you shrugged away

You read through all of them along with Karl’s other journals

You didn’t like going through his stuff especially, a whole invasion of privacy

The more you read the worse it got

What were you gonna tell Sapnap?

Who the hell is James, and [redacted]?

And why couldn’t he stop

It’s no use anymore

You were simply just forgotten

𝐋𝗼𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐬

The closer you got to the large building, the sicker you got

Kinoko Kingdom was supposed to be your free pass

But somehow you always end up here

You called for Sam on the comms waiting for the beep

The inside looked great to say the least

“What are your past relationships with the prisoner?” “No answer.”

“Where are you currently resided?” “No answer”

“Do you believe the prisoner deserves his sentence?” “Maybe”

You put all your shit in the locker and followed him through all the safety checks

“I’m glad you didn’t bring anything with you”

You stood on the platform heart racing as the lava went down

It was like a ticking time bomb

The small squeaks and scratches of the hovering bridge

He just stared at you

That sick stupid mask was broken by tommy that day in the black stone room

So you had to look into his face

Lets just say he looks good in Orange

“Barrier up or down?” “Down”

He backed up into the corner as you stepped in

Smiling

Once the lava cascaded down your smile turned into a sick frown

“Hello” is that all he had to fucking say?

“Screw you. Fuck you. Damn you”

He just looked you a small chuckle escaping from his lips

“Those all mean the same thing.” “Well I’ve been living in cinnamon town for the past couple months, and I’m ready to fucking burn some buns”

Yeah he just laughed

“I’ve missed you Hot shot”

“You ruined our damn life!”

Someone went quiet

“If you didn’t have to have a petty little war, or criminalize children we could’ve been fine! It could’ve just been you, dad, me, and George.”

You were pissed, everyone just kept leaving you.

Tommy and Tubbo, Quackity, Karl, Dream, and hell even Wilbur

“You come and visit me, after not having seen me for months and you just yell? Not a hello or ‘how are you dream?’ ‘How’s prison dream’ ‘how can I help you get out of this damn place’ “

You just sat down ready to just walk out into the lava

“I’ve been stuck here for months! None of you even cared enough to visit me, hell even Tommy came around.”

You might have felt a little bad after leaving him

The prison was cold even tho lava was flowing right there

“Why would you leave the discs alone..” “Because I had to end it.”

What were you doing here

What were you planning on saying?

“So, what do you do in prison”

“I have a clock.”

You got up to go look at the pretty clock

Then threw it at his face

“Ow” “deal with it bitch”

The longer you stayed the worse the feeling in your stomach got

so you buzzed for Sam waving goodbye

“Wait.. Do they miss me?” “Can’t say, but I think this may be for the best.”

He wanted his best friends

But he just got the annoying teenager

Oh but that wouldn’t be the last

𝐋𝐚𝐬 𝐍𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐬

You got a letter in the mail one day

Who the hell uses letters??

You were shocked to see the address and the small post card

“Come around some time”-Quackity

Ans on the back it had the cords

Oh well what did you have to loose? Sapnap was focused on Karl

and well Karl didn’t even know you

So you set off

It took you a couple hours travel by horse to get to the desert area

The large sign blaring in the red text

You gotta admit the place looked beautiful

There was a giant dick and different shops

You were shocked to see this random un human like guy

“Hello, I am Charlie a totally human guy!”

Yeah totally not slime

“I’m uh, Y/n?” He reached out for a handshake sort of thing

“Dap me up!” “Another time Charlie”

Maybe when you had hand sanitizer

“Ohh so your Y/n! Mister Quackity talks about you all the time, come on in!”

You were skeptical but followed anyways

Stopping in your tracks when you saw Fundy

“Furry?” “Fire shit?”

You went over to give him a side hug, ruffling his fur

“What the hell are you doing here ginger boy!” “Oh you know, just escaping nightmares”

You were confused then just let him be

You walked to the entry way of the place

A beautiful pond with flowers and an arch

“Did what the place where Mr. Quackity was going to propose!”

Going to?

You shrugged it off following inside

You hated to admit it, but you were excited to see him

Yeah you really needed a parental figure in your life at the moment

So when you saw him, he immediately pick you up in a hug

You didn’t fail to notice his change in appearance

That beanie stayed the same tho

Thank god

“Hey hey! Let me show you around the place, we can also go for lunch and talk.”

The casino looked great to say the least

Loud music booming from the speakers, along with the live jazz band on the side

Slot machines were going off every minute

“Have a chip, something to remember this by”

He handed you a red poker chip

It was a cool one tho, in the middle has a blocky sort of smile

Creepy and dopey.. sick!

So you put it around a spare silver chain

“So how have you been kid? ���Ts been a while hasn’t it.” “Could be better..”

You both walked around the city in silence, offering to go in the super model shop

“No” “why not” “keep walking”

On your way to lunch you had to squint at what you were seeing

“Oh my goodness you’re still alive?!” “You’re alive!?”

You and revivebur just stared at one another

“Yeah he came back after I died!” “you what now-“

You just stared at Tommy and back to Wilbur

Oh god those shrooms were messing with your head

You should’ve gotten out of there a while ago

Quackity came over placing his hands on your shoulders

“Do I have to execute you both? Get off my damn property”

“Sorry Q. Say, Y/n wanna join Lmanburg 2.0?”

You back away holding your hands up

“I denied that offer once, and I’ll do it again. Fucking zombie freaks”

You obviously muttered the last part

Why the fuck did dream revive those two shits??

When did Tommy even die??

Your visit here has just gotten weirder and weirder

𝐌𝗼𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬

Quackity got you away from the brits as quick as he could

So he brought you over to his office

“So kid, how’s your dad..”

Ah you expected this question

“How the fuck am I supposed to know. He’s living his life, Karl’s time traveling! Oh yeah did I mention he doesn’t even remember me.”

He looked at you with wide eyes

“So I’m not the only one they forgot..”

You slammed you hands on the fable dramatizing the situation

“How would you feel about moving here? I mean you could work for me in the casino!”

You thought about it for a second

You have two options

1. Live in shroom town with bubbles

2. Move to las Nevada’s with Quackity

You were sure Sapnap wouldn’t mind

I mean would he even care?

He hasn’t for the past couple months!

“You feel abandoned there, over here there are hundreds of people. You’ll have the time of your life”

You thought about it for a sec

“Alright hand me a contract”

So you signed

Making deals with the devil huh

Little did you know it would cost you your life

Devils little soul

➳➳➳➳➳┄┄※┄┄➳➳➳➳➳

and this is the finale! I will take requests for sapnaps child, and I’ll do some shit with Quackity and the casino and go in more depth if wanted!

As always request and ask anything! And ask if you want to be on a taglist (child reader or general)

For those on the taglist I don’t know if you wanted to be tagged for all child reader shit or just dreams child.. so please tell me :)

@creatorofstars @georgenctfound @samistheidiot @smolbox-png @ghostlysenses @stellarinstigator @bobaducky

[horribletimemanagementskills]

Ramshackle Prefect - Evan Monroe

Evan is my out of pocket TWST MC or YUUSONA btw,

these are things he would say while or after the overblots, or just dealing with people in general, he is helpful and kinda respectful but a really mean kid ight-

~*~*~*~

RSA:

A 10 year old stuck in NRC? are they alright? How did they make friends with such people? From what they've done they seem like a good person.

EVAN:

"magicians? fucking magic? what kind of fever dream...am I dead?"

"Damn you need a hug, go get it from someone else"

"oh boohoo gET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER"

"I respected you until you had a dAMN HISSYFIT WORSE THAN A 3YO-"

"you did w h a t"

"I give up, Grim set me on fire"

"rOOK-SENPAI I KNOW YOUR THERE SOMEWHERE SHOOT ME WITH YOUR BOW"

"People here are so damn tall I'm gonna snap my neck one day"

"No Crewel-sensei I do not know this cat please call animal control"

"what the ffffUUUUUCKKKK"

"No I will not watch my language who are you my parent? well jokes on you I DONT REMEMBER THEM DIPSHIT-"

"Guess I'll die"

"Keep that up Grim I'll switch you for Lucius or Ortho, I'm not picky"

"I still don't understand magic what is going on"

"wAIT SAVANACLAW IS BASICALLY A FURRY DORM- BAHAHA UWU CAT-BOY LEONA-SENPAI SOUNDS SO FUCKING DUMB ITS GREAT"

"Floyd-senpai I don't care what mood you're in put me down or I'll kick you knee inwards-"

"No I realized who Hornton/Tsuntaro was before Winter break, I was hoping he would smite me from something I said soon, I was wrong"

"I hate it here I'm going to bed"

"suffer in silence"

"Headmage with all due respect, Is it really taking that long for me to return home i just saw talking cabbages and people flying on brooms, wHAT DO YOU MEAN THATS BASIC??"

"Grim I care for you more than anyone here but I fUCKING SWEAR-"

"Kalim-senpai I respect you for being the most positive here but that was a shit decision"

"this is a prestigious magical school yet you all cant work through your damn emotions let alone trauma"

"why would you leave this to a 10 year old exactly?"

"My haircut pisses Vil-senpai off so much I'm not cutting it, yes I know it needs to be professionally cut but too bad"

"Azul-senpai take the tweels before I grill and feed them to Grim, I dealt with your overblot I will find a way"

"I wish a merry go to hell for half of the people attending this school"

"how yall try to intimidate a child with a cat that literally tripped you down your dorm stairs yesterday"

"oh great not only am I stuck in an edgy fantasy school they have a goody two shoes counterpart they lose to I want to go home"

"Jade-senpai its either you give Grim the mushrooms or eat them yourself, I am not trying to enter another fever dream"

"Great I have a mouse in my mirror, why does he look familiar I don't like this"

"WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND I AM 4'10 SCRAWNY CHILD WITH NO MAGIC WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME"

"well shit"

[wickedobsessed101]

For the ask: Diamond 💎 mushroom 🍄 lightbulb 💡 present 🎁

It's been months, but I swear I didn't forget about these Q & A questions!

💎 fave trope to write? Coming of Age, Enemies/Friends to Lovers

🍄how do you get yourself in the mood to write? I usually write in small spurts, depending on how many notes I have. I have this weird thing where I have to write scenes in order, so in order to get to the part I have all the notes and ideas for, and it doesn’t come for another 4 or 5 chapters, I have to write those 4 or 5 chapters first. I usually write (or notate) whenever inspiration strikes. I don’t have to do anything special. Also, I don’t like posting until completion (or almost completion), my urge to post is a great motivator.

🎁 have a quote from a WIP? This is from my next Fiyeraba multichap, “The Path Of Least Resistance” “Have you received a letter from your parents?” “No. Was I supposed to?” “They wrote to my father. They’re unable to make it to the celebration. They’re still dealing with the economic crisis. They sent a very nice glass bird statue, though. And they said that you would be filling in for them.” “Oh.” He sounded disappointed. “That’s fine. Thank you for telling me.” “It’s not fine. You’re not fine. “I didn’t get a letter. I would have at least appreciated them telling me this, instead of…” “Finding out from me?” she finished with a sympathetic smile. She glanced over, silently debating whether she should tell him what she knew. “Do you know why your parents were refused the bailout?”

Ask me more questions here!

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Can you do a list of Mic being pure w/ his favorite student, (y/n) (like, he’s not afraid to show it), but she’s living with her friend and their family since she’s alone in Japan, and trying to keep it a secret. But when he finds out he’s just “ASDFGHJKLWHAT”, and he’s trying to help her with so many things, which soon evolves to “custody of child—”.

https://dontbesoweirdkira.tumblr.com/post/189518600672/hey-its-me-again-i-hope-you-are-still-open-for

A/N: I first would like to say I ALSO HAVE EATEN A NUCLEAR REACTOR...it tasted like radiation and strawberries yummy!  Here’s your soft present mic X student. I hope you enjoy.  

(I kind of made it where you aren’t fully living with your friend. Just bouncing from the streets to her house every so often if that makes sense??)Requests open

-So at first Mic didn’t notice anything was up...well no he did but he kind of brushed it off since he didn’t want to cross any boundaries.

-Like when he asked for your parents signature but they were always somehow “out of town” or “working overtime” 

-Or when he was going to offer you a ride home since it was pretty late but you just insisted to walk by yourself. And how you didn’t bother to call them and let them know you were going to be home a bit later than usual. 

-He was always curious but like i said he didn’t want to cross a boundary and make you feel uncomfortable about something so personal. Besides how would he bring it up?

-”Hey Y/N, Why do you always conveniently “forget” to fill out your home address on forms?” 

-Yeah see his dilemma?^ And like what if it was nothing and it really was just a convenience.  It seemed better to leave it alone and not worry. You’d tell him if something was going on, right?

-Maybe one day you’re talking to your friend and He’s just around the corner so he overhears the conversation.

-”Hey Y/N, my family is going out of town for a few weeks. I- i would ask if you could come with so you’ll have some place to stay but we are going out of the county and you know how that is..”

-”Oh..um..Don’t worry, I'll figure something out.”

-”Are you sure? I- i can always leave the house key so you can have somewhere safe to go? But uhm, My cousin might come over every so often to watch a game or to check the house so be alert and make sure he doesn’t see you.” 

-”N-No it’s okay, seriously. I’ll find somewhere to go, thank you though. ”

-”Well, I'll leave the key under the doormat if you change your mind, we’re leaving in the afternoon tomorrow so after then the place will be yours for a bit.I’ll text you later, ‘kay?”

-He’s shocked?? Like he thought maybe your at home life wasn’t good or maybe you were embarrassed about living in a low income place, but you were homeless?? And you’ve been staying with your friends every so often?? Why didn’t you tell him? Did you not feel comfortable? He’s in this weird state of shock and acknowledgement.

-For the rest of the school day hE Is cOnTemPlaTiNg oN WhaT tO Do. He’s not sure how he should bring it up or even if he should bring it up. 

- *is casually being torn apart internally as he’s trying to teach english*

-*dEeP sPaCe STarE while he is standing at the board pointing to the sentence structures*

-”Sensei, are you oka-”

-”IMTHINKINGASHARDASICANTOFIGUREOUTASOLUTIONDONTPRESSUREMEoKaY.”

-lolol but once classes are over he taps you on the shoulder and asks if he could walk with you home for a bit. You visibly nervous, you reject and say “Umm It’s all right Mr.Hizashi, you’re busy and I don't want you to take up any of your time plus it’s late and I'm tired and i have to go and-”

-”Y/n...You don’t have to make up excuses, I know you don’t have anywhere to stay.”

-stopping in your tracks, your eyes went wide and you faced him 

-”I heard you talking to that friend this morning.”

-M-mr.Hizashi I can explain-”

-cutting you off once again he begins “Hey, you don’t have to do any of that. It’s your business. But I don’t want you to just roaming around or staying anywhere alone anymore, okay? If you would like, I have an extra bedroom at my house, you can stay there until we get everything sorted.”

-”No..Mr.Hizashi...It’s okay..I’ll be okay, I’ve always have. Plus you have been such a great teacher and already went out of your way more than what I could have asked...staying with you would be too much.”

-”Y/n, it’s okay to ask for help. I seriously don’t mind. At least stay for the night so you can eat and have a roof over your head, then in the morning we’ll figure something out.”

-You hesitantly accepted but you told him that you’d be out of his hair as soon as the next morning hit.

-That night going to his house was...nice to say the least. The guest bedroom that he had was bigger than your friend’s kitchen and nicer than any place that you’ve stayed at. It really was heaven. So warm and cosy. There was a nice sense of nostalgia and security, something you’ve haven’t felt in years. His home was somewhere anyone would want to live in their whole lives. 

-”Once you’ve settled down, you can come to the dining room. I ordered some take out, I figured you’d be hungry.”

-For a moment you sat on the fluffy bed and just took in everything. God was so good to you right now and honestly you thanked him. Although it frustrates you to think that this would only last for a second and you’d be back on the streets, roaming around. Yeah yeah, Hizashi wants to help you but you knew soon he’d get tired of your presence in his house…..they all did. 

-Taking a deep breath, you went to go meet hizashi in the dining room.

-He welcomed you then motioned you to sit down at any of the seats at the table. “Oh hey, there’s miss america. You may sit anywhere you’d like. And help yourself to the food here.”

-You sat down across from him, only not to look at him just to have your eyes on the empty plate in front of you. You didn’t really touch any of the food actually or even make a sound. You weren’t trying to be rude or anything, you just..there was a lot on your mind and facing hizashi seemed difficult.

-”Are you okay Y/N? I hope sushi is okay. I- i meant to um ask what you would like to eat first. I’m sorry.”

-”No I’m sorry for-,”  twiddling your thumbs for a moment you then looked towards the blonde fellow “Mr.Hizashi..My parents left when I was around three but they left me with my aunt. She was a very good person and took good care of me but she got very ill...and um you know. At first I was living in her apartment but i couldn’t pay for it when it was time for rent so..I stayed with my friend for a couple of months. But her parents kind of got tired of me staying there and it was this thing, so I lied and told them I found a family member to stay with. And um up until now I've been staying on the streets. Sometimes having a sleepover once every so often.”

-”Y/n…”

-”I didn’t tell you because I was so scared… I didn't know what to do and I really really don’t want to go in foster care or anything so I just thought I was better off keeping it from you. But I guess it backfired anyways because you still found out haha….I’m sorry Hizashi. I hope you don’t think of me any less. I- it was a tough situation and all and you know how that is...”

-He immeadately stood up, walked over to you and hugged you. It was with So mUcH compassion and genuine love. You really was his favorite student no scratch that HIS FAVORITE HUMAN i swear he would end the world for you. 

-He gave you a little cheek kiss and was like “I’m not letting anyone put you in foster care and I'm sure as hell am not kicking you out even if i have to take custody of you.”

-”w-wait what? wAiT wHaT???”

-”KID IM fucking keeping you here safe with me even if i’m in court all year. We are going to make this work somehow, you aren’t doing this alone anymore. Do you understand?”

-YeAh hEs cRyInG iM cRyinG yOuRe CryInG wE aLl CryinG 

-BRO YOU ARE UGLY CRYING NOT NO SOFT CUTE CRY LIKE HAHA YOU SOUND LIKE A WALRUS TRYING TO SAY ‘t-tH-Th-HaNKy-yyy-YoUUU-UOi  mR hIzZaShIiIi”

-He whipes the tears of your cheeks and ruffles your hair 

-”it’ll be okay Y/N, I promise.”

-I swear he’s like rushing to the computer and trying to figure out how to adopt you.

-”HoW tO aDoPt a ChILD wHen You aRe a hEro.”

-There's an actual wiki-how about it???????

-No but he’s really doing his research and is visiting lawyers trying to find the right one. He has them immediately looking into everything and making sure that his chances of getting you is as high as possible. 

-He’s up late at night on the phone, emailing,  and writing

-He has pounds and pounds of evidence that he is the most fit person to take care of you. He is not playing whatsoever

-He already let’s you decorate and he even gives you an office so you can do work or whatever. He most definitely brought you clothes and stuff for your room.

-When the courts and everything finally approves it after a long year of fighting, he picked you up and spun you around.

-”What did I tell you?!? I was not going to lose you and i made sure of that. And starting today and the rest of  forever you’ll never have to be alone.”

-BonUs

-100% takes you out somewhere super fun and nice. 

-”Wait we must take a selfie, The first day we are legally Father-daughter!”

-The most chaotic duo now, Everyone at school knows he adopted you and like he won't let anyone forget it.

-MISSSSSS AMERICAAAAAAA, is now, MISSSSSSS HIZAAAAASSSHHHHHIIIIIIII.

-”WHEEEEERRREEEE ISSS MYYYY LITTLE MUSHROOM???”

-”YYYYYY/NNNNN YOU LEFT YOUR BAG IN MY MINIVAN.”

-He has a minivan now. It also has a ‘Yeah I’m a soccer dad and i’m proud’ sticker on it.

-He joined the PTA 

-HE IS SOOO BIASED I SWEAR NO ONE IS ABOVE YOU IN HIS CLASS AND NO ONE BETTER SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT

-Always hugging you and giving you little cheek kisses when he sees you in the halls

-Made a titled track called “Now a dad”

-he most definitely wears ‘Best Dad’ shirts now. He also is in a ‘Single dad’s in Japan’ group now

-”I think we look just alike, Don’t we Y/N?” you both smiled and posed at the same time

[nako-doodles]

get to know me 💖

tagged by @bisexualrapline @kithtaehyung & @taehyungsupremacy thank you darlin's 🥰🥺

tagging: @gimbapchefs @butterful @tae-bebe @jiminslight @mintagust @taehyungq @calicooky @bonsaipapi @taemaknae @honsool @jinbestboy @thatredwine @taejinnies @jung-koook & anyone who wants to tbh ✨

when is your birthday? oct 26th spooky season scorpio aka the best scorpio

what is your favorite color? pinks and blues

what's your lucky number? a palindrome

do you have any pets? i had a russian blue maine coon mix kitty duchess moondust and i still love her grace very much. i want to adopt a husky or eskimo or malamute but i dont have the funds or the space or the means yet :(

how tall are you? to the utter terror of my ill-equipped knees, 5'7

how many pairs of shoes do you own? enough to make hotel management think im housing more than one person in my suite, and for me to rue the day i finally pack all my shit up

favorite song? ive been listening to yoohyeon's cover of secret love song and dreamcatcher's whistle on LOOP lately that youtube has just put the songs side by side on autoplay for me. my fbi agent Gets me.

favorite movie? my emotional support trilogy howls moving castle, a silent voice, ernest and célestine

what would be your ideal partner? im going to steal ryen's 'kim seokjin, next'

do you want children? teaching them has inoculated me for the next decade thanks

have you gotten in trouble with the law? no, but i HAVE plenty of problems w some of them

what color socks are you wearing? pastel pink to match my grey tiger sneakers

bath or shower? jin didnt make a whole shower dance playlist for me to succumb to big bath???????? (im watching you lush)

favorite type of music? as long as its not just incoherent noise, i would probably like it

how many pillows do you sleep with? uhhhh............5?

which position do you sleep in? wow this quiz is not fucking around. i sleep burrowed in pillows and blankets while cuddling said pillows and blankets like a hibernating bear

what don't you like when you're sleeping? when its stuffy and humid and hot

what do you have for breakfast? sichuan spicy rice noodles with fish and crab balls and mushrooms

have you ever tried archery? i had a brief semi professional moment in elementary and i have tinie bracers and two junior recurve bows to prove it

favorite fruit? mangoes, mangosteens, strawberries, grapefruits

favorite swear word? "the owner of no one good quality"

do you have any scars? living for a quarter of a century in the modern world does mean one tends to obtain scars of the emotional and physical kind yes

are you a good liar? not sure you would believe me either way

what's your personality type? god i get a different result each time but i think i oscillate between istp-a and infj-a most? basically im a chaotic introvert.

what's your favorite type of girl? there are no hierarchy of girls; they're all great. men on the other hand..........

left or right handed? right handed but i be situationally (re: food) ambidextrous

favorite food? anything warm homey soupy hearty umami-y....dim sum, noodles, hot pots, currys, stews.......

are you clean or messy? clean with a chaos misc closet where i dump everything in it

favorite foreign food? now that im stuck in a foreign country i miss good breads and cheeses argh

how long does it take for you to get ready? 10 minutes in the mornings and like. 2 hours in the evening.

most used phrase? HAHAHAHHAHAAIOGJOAEHJIAOGJIFAO

are you a good singer? enough to have been a mezzo in collegiate choir so. not really.

do you sing to yourself? well i gotta provide a soundtrack for all this chaos and its not like i have the money to hire min yoongi to do it

biggest fear? how to tell you were raised by asian parents without saying so: being a disappointment and bring shame to the family

do you like long or short hair? medium? i keep my hair around shoulder length usually

are you into gossips? only if its about people i dont know irl and also dont like

extrovert or introvert? introvert

favorite school subject? the subject of 'not going to school'

what makes you nervous? when i think something i want to happen probably wont happen but i really FUCKING WANT IT to happen

who was your first real crush? inuyasha's big bro cardcaptor sakura's touya

how many piercings do you have? the usual earlobes ones but i want more

how fast can you run? juuuuuuuust fast enough to wrangle wily demon spawns from leaving the classroom

what makes you angry? willful and malicious ignorance

do you like your own name? yes

what are your weaknesses? food.

what are your strengths? i can carry about 3 squirmy toddlers before the situation gets dicey

what is the color of your bedspread? depressing hotel whites

color of your room? my old bedroom had sky blue walls with clouds and forests painted on it, but the hotel suite has like brown black and white thing going on

[sweeethinny]

It’s Christmas!

I always thought about how Harry would love Christmas if Jily lived, and how James would look when he finally gave him the cloak ... so, here it is and bc i LOVE christmas!

It was Christmas, which meant: gifts.

‘’It’s Christmas!’’ Harry spoke as he ran down the stairs, his socks sliding on the well-polished floor, already being able to hear his parents talking downstairs. ‘’Merry Christmas!’’ He almost screamed, more than excited to finally be on the 25th and finally being able to discover what was in those big boxes under the tree that he and his mother had chosen and decorated with such appreciation.

‘’Good morning, Harry.’’ His father smiled at him from the stove, where the smell of pancakes was already in the air. ‘’It looks like you can count the days.’’

‘’Yes, yesterday was the 24th and today...let me see… the 25th. Christmas.’’ He looked at the calendar that his mother left hanging on the wall next to one of the paintings that Sirius had painted for them.

‘’Good morning my love.’’ His mother kissed him on the forehead, floating cups to the table, the cookie tin they made yesterday, and the milk. ‘’Merry Christmas, Harry.’’

‘’Merry Christmas, Mom.’’ Harry helped her, picking up the silverware and sugar, feeling almost bursting with anxiety. ‘’Can we open the presents already?’’

‘’Sorry, buddy, but only after breakfast.’’ Dad spilled the last pancake on the plate that already had a pile of it.

''I can't wait to open my presents.'' Harry sat in his chair, anxious to start eating. ‘’Good morning Missy, Merry Christmas.’’ He smiled at the cat beside him, also sitting on the chair that belonged to her, wearing a beautiful new collar. ‘’Missy has already won her gift.’’ He complained.

‘’Missy didn’t touch gifts to try to guess them.’‘ Lily’ shrugged, smiling gently as she poured the milk into her own cup. ‘’Furthermore, she disappeared with the old one earlier today.’’

‘’Very pertinent Missy, disappearing with the old stuff on Christmas Day.’’ Harry stroked her fur, listening to her purring before lowering her head between paws and returning to her morning nap.

‘’Have you already sent your gift to Ron?’’

‘’Yes dad, and I think he’s going to like the Cannons sweater.’’ Harry put a big pancake on his plate, and some scrambled eggs and mushrooms. With the usual cup of tea.

They ate breakfast in the usual peace. James commented on how the work was going, from the last Puddlemore game (of course Lily rolled her eyes and claimed that the Harpies were better and that the last game had been devastating and that James would not admit defeat), about the trip they would take on vacation. 

Lily spoke of how close they were to a cure for a disease that Harry didn't quite remember the name, her parents - and that they would visit them later. And Harry can tell them more about what he thought of Hogwarts, about Ron, Hermione, how Remus was a good teacher, and how he was late for Professor McGonagall's class (‘’ I swear I got lost! The stairs took us to the other side!)

When the pancakes were finished, the tea cooled, and almost all the cookies were devoured; it was time to open the presents.

Harry jumped out of his chair and ran under the tree, more than excited to start opening each box.

‘’This is for… you, mom.’’ He handed her a big package, which Sirius had sent. ‘’This is for Daddy.’’ Harry pushed the heavy box to the man, sitting in the armchair across from Lily. ‘’Me and the mom we bought.’’ He smiled proudly, followed by Lily, who winked and nodded at her husband. ‘’This is… Missy, you won another gift. Let's hope it's a new scraper, right? I love you but, you ruined my chair.'' The cat meowed, stretching at Harry's feet, looking oblivious to all the commotion. ‘’And this .. for me!’’ He stood up, almost jumping for joy.

Harry loved Christmas.

There were still more gifts, but the first was always the most exciting.

‘’Whose is it?’’ Dad asked, craning his neck at the silver wrapper in the boy’s hands, smiling from ear to ear.

‘’Yours.’’ Harry looked over his shoulder, laughing softly. ‘‘I bet it’s another Puddl shirt-- What is it?’’ Harry pulled the soft fabric, assessing the gift and trying to understand what it meant. ''A cloak?''

‘‘It’s not just a cloak, Harry.’’ James said, getting up from the armchair and taking the cloak in his hands, passing around his son and turning him towards the mirror. Harry swallowed the cry when he realized that only his head was visible. ‘’It’s an invisibility cloak.’’

‘’WOW!’’

''Take care of it. It belonged to your great-grandfather, grandfather, me... and now it's all yours. ’’ James looked proud, his brown eyes looking more sentimental than Harry remembered seeing them ... Maybe when Puddlemore won the league, but still, James didn't look as emotional as he does now.

Harry definitely loved Christmas.