#They were a roach but now they're not

[worm-god-murphy]

Emergence Failure.

[natelia-aldelliz]

"What if I fade?"

Soap lifts his head from his journal, looking up at Roach who is eerily floating near the ceiling. The slow movements almost make him look like he's in water. Kind of ironic given the way he died.

"What do you mean?" he asks, confused.

"What if I move on, what if I disappear," Roach elaborates, refusing to meet his eye. "Not everyone is a ghost, right? We'd be overly crowded. The fact that we're not also means that not every ghost stays."

Soap forces his dry throat to swallow. He honestly didn't want to think about that. He still needs Roach, he probably always will, but he hasn't even told him that he - he takes a deep breath in to calm himself.

"I don't know how it works," he admits quietly, bouncing his leg absent-mindedly. "You're probably right, like most of the time. Even if I really want you to be wrong about that."

Roach finally looks towards him.

"Maybe I should move on," Roach whispers. "It's not healthy, Johnny. You have no idea the things I want, what I wish for, that I'll never get."

Soap doesn't stand up, just keeps staring into Roach's eyes.

"I think I might have an idea, actually," he whispers back. Roach flounders for a moment. Soap really wishes he didn't get that wrong. He's pretty sure Roach meant that he can't have Ghost, and he himself can't have Roach. So... It's pretty similar.

"I've been feeling less like myself recently," Roach insists, deciding to ignore that comment for now. "I find myself wishing one of you would die so I wouldn't be alone. I never thought like that before, I fear that I may have stayed too long, that I'm starting to lose myself."

And he looks scared. It's written on his features so clearly and it breaks Soap's heart.

"You're not alone," he swears. "I'm here with you, and I'll make sure you stay you, however I can."

Roach looks at him, examining his face, looking for... something. Whatever it is, he seems to have found it because he exhales through his nose like a very soft laugh and averts his eyes, almost... blushing? It's a bit hard to tell from the distance and his left cheek being covered in burns while his right is covered in freckles, but he's pretty sure his ears are red.

"You can't look at me like that, Johnny," he says almost coyly. "I can't do anything about it, it's not fair."

Soap's face is burning and his eyes are wide. Was he too obvious? Did Roach understand or is he joking?

They probably look stupid, both of them redder than a fire truck, avoiding the other's eyes, regretting their words. Or at least he supposes that it's what's happening, because he's sure not looking up.

"If it makes you feel better," Roach finally says, sounding like he's smiling, "you were right for once : I am right most of the time. Judging by your reaction, you did indeed have no idea what I want."

[the-badger-mole]

How the High King of Elfhame Got His Seneschal's Photo

Well, this was a waste of a trip to the mortal world. I leaned against the brick wall of the cafe I'm waiting in front of and bite back an annoyed groan. After all, I knew coming here on the strength of a fourthhand rumor was a long shot. Still, when Randalin told me that he'd heard from his valet who'd heard from the servant of one of the gentry families of the lower courts that there was a rumor of a kidnapping plot against my brother amongst the solitary fae, I thought it best to look into it myself. Now that I know the rumor was just the product of someone's overactive imagination, I wish I had just let one of the spies from the Court of Shadows look into it .

The fact that I probably wouldn't have trusted anyone else with this mission isn't a thought worth acknowledging.

I look down the empty street, expecting the Roach at any moment. Not for the first time, I wish for some way to travel between Faerie and the mortal world without needing to rely on one of the Folk to escort me. I would have asked Vivi if I knew how quickly this little side mission was going to be done. Oh, well.

A dark car pulls to a stop about half a block away from me. I note it absently. After all, I am not waiting on a car. Ten minutes later, I'm starting to get impatient. The Roach had come with his own agenda, I knew, but he had led me to believe that he would be done with his errand long before I was done with mine. I hope he'll show up soon. It was really starting to get cold, and I am not dressed for the weather. I shiver and pull my hoodie closer around me. Maybe, I consider, I should consider making it policy that anyone coming to the mortal realm should carry burner phones so they can stay in touch. Knowing when the Roach would be here would make waiting a little more bearable, at least.

The sound of the car door opening draws me out of my thoughts, and I realize that a man has emerged. Then I realize he's heading in my direction. My hackles go up immediately, though I try to calm myself down. He may not be coming to me. He may just pass me on the way to someplace else.

He does not pass me.

"This isn't a place for loiterers," the man says gruffly. I snort at that.

"If I see any I'll let them know."

"Oh, a joker."

"Only on occasion." The man sneers at me.

He's not dressed the way I picture mortal thugs dressing. He is in a brown leather bomber, but his jeans are clean and crisp, as if he ironed them as flat as he could that morning. Even I know that is unforgivably geeky. On his feet is a pair of shiny black dress shoes. Not boots, or sneakers, like I'd seen on gangsters and evil bikers in movies. The man is also inexplicably wearing a pair of dark mirrored sunglasses, although the sun had very nearly set.

"Why don't you show me your hands?" He phases it like a question, but it sounds like a command. I ignore it and turn my gaze away from him. In my pocket, I turn my fingers against my wrist, feeling the hilt of my dagger there. Let him try me.

"I said show me your hands!" When adding volume to his voice doesn't work, he reaches for me, presumably to force me to obey. The shock on his face when I grab his wrist instead is deeply satisfying. His yelp of pain when I twist it to an unnatural degree is even more so. My dagger stays where it's hidden up my sleeve. I don't need it for him.

Down the street, the car opens again, on the passenger side this time, and another man emerges, running towards me and his friend. Well, a fight will keep me warm, anyway.

"Freeze!" the man shouts. He pulls a gun from his waist and points it at me. Internally I groan as I reluctantly raise my hands over my head. How did I forget about guns?

-:-:-:-:-:-:-

"You're where?" Vivi screeches on the other end of the line. I flinch away from the phone receiver and glance around warily, certain that the police officers can hear my sister.

"I'm in jail," I repeat. "I need you to come bail me out." Vivi goes silent and I swear I can hear her pinching the bridge of her nose. Then, to my surprise, she laughs.

"Alright," she says at last. "Give me an hour."

"I've already been here for three!" I complain.

"Tough!" Vivi cackles. "I have to drop Oak off at a party, and I need get a card for the birthday boy first. You'll be alright. And if you get a prison tattoo, make sure it's a cool one."

"Viv!"

"I'll see you soon." Vivi is still laughing as she hangs up. I have to choke back a growl of frustration as I slam the receiver back onto the cradle.

"Finished?" the deputy who'd escorted me from my cell to make my one phone call.

"Finished," I sigh. A few moments later, the iron bars slam shut behind me. I am not alone in the cell, but the woman on the top bunk is in deep slumber, if her bone rattling snores are anything to go by. Then the smell of her hits me. This must be the drunk tank, I realize. With a huff, I sit on the bottom bunk and wait.

And I wait.

And wait.

One hour passes without Vivi showing up. Then two. At two and a half hours, I get up and pace the floor. Surely they'd give me another call, I think. But then, who else would I call besides Vivi? It was almost a miracle that I remembered her phone number. I never even tried to memorize Heather's. Besides, even if I had, Heather was probably with Vivi, or stuck at home. They only had one car between them.

Finally, as the clock was about to mark the third hour since I'd called my sister, I hear a commotion outside of the cell block.

"We're here, Jude!" Vivi yells back. Then her voice goes low. I can tell she's talking to someone, and finally they seem to come to an agreement. Then they are headed in my direction. Vivi appears behind the sheriff and she is the most beautiful sight I've ever seen. I'm so happy to see her that I don't see who's with her for a moment. It's not Heather who is standing behind her. It's Cardan.

"What do you mean I can't see my sister? I am here to bail her out. I have the cash right here!" Vivi's voice carries back to me, and I almost cheer in relief.

"Vivi!" I call.

Seeing him here, in the mortal realm- in a mortal police station of all places is so jarring, I can only stare for a moment. Especially since he's in a ridiculous red silk shirt with pearls at the cuffs and collar. Then I turn back to Vivi.

"Por que lo trajiste?" I demand in harsh whisper.

"Llegó a mi puerta y no me dejaria salir sin él." Vivi shrugs. "It was faster to bring him."

"That doesn't sound like you're grateful to see me," Cardan says, raising his brow.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him. I'm not angry. I'm too confused for anger, and I guess he sees that in my face, because he's not nearly so defensive when he answers.

"The Roach came rushing back to the palace raving that you'd been kidnapped," Cardan said. He eyed my cell distastefully, keeping well away from the iron bars. I have to force myself not to shrink in embarrassment. "And here you are indeed being kept captive for ransom. It wouldn't be very gallant of me to leave my seneschal imprisoned."

"Estaba furioso," Vivi tells me with an amused glance at him. "Tengo preguntas para ti luego. A lot!"

"Hey, pal," the sheriff cuts in. "Bail ain't ransom. She was arrested, not kidnapped." Vivi shakes her head, ignoring both men.

"Jail, Jude?" she sighs. "Que hiciste, hermanita?"

"Nothing!" I hiss back. "No hice nada. Es solo que él tiene una lasca en su hombro!" I jerk my chin towards the sheriff without looking at him.

"Little lady, assaulting an officer is not a little chip on my shoulder," the sheriff says. Vivi and I fall silent and stare at him. He shoots us a smug smirk. "Yeah, I speak Spanish, too." Behind him, I see Cardan is also smirking. His brows go up in amusement.

Little lady? he mouths silently. I scowl and shake my head at him. No. He will absolutely not make that a thing. I am not above ordering it so.

"You assaulted an officer?" Vivi is doing her best to sound disapproving, but she is barely keeping the grin off of her face, or the laugh from her voice.

"I didn't know he was an officer," I explain for for feels like the ten thousandth time tonight. "Some guy approaches me and starts making vague threats and I'm just not supposed to defend myself? He wasn't in uniform. He didn't even show me a badge!" At that, Vivi whirls on the sheriff, all amusement gone from her face.

"He didn't even identify himself?" she almost yells.

"W-well, h-he...he was only trying to warn her not to loiter," the sheriff stammered. "That block has had some issues with vandals recently, so plain clothes cops patrol there."

"I wasn't loitering. I was waiting for my ride." I press myself to the bars and glare daggers at the sheriff. "Then this random guy comes over and starts demanding to see my hands. I wasn't vandalizing anything! Tell me where that falls under protect and serve."

"Let my sister out!" Vivi demands. "Whatever your officer got was well deserved, it sounds like."

"It sounds like he got off lightly." Cardan's voice is deceptively airy. There's a coldness in his eyes that I know from experience means nothing good for the sheriff.

"I already told you, I can't let her go," the sheriff huffs. "Assaulting an officer is a felony, and a judge will need to set bail. She's in there until Monday." My jaw drops in shock. It's Friday. He expects me to stay in this disgusting cell for two days? Before I can protest, Cardan speaks again. This time when he speaks, the anger is tinged with glamour.

"I believe you'll find that you can let her go tonight," he says.

"I...I can let her go..." The sheriff's voice is distant, as if he's talking in his sleep. "Yes...I...I can let her go tonight. Just be sure to show up to your hearing on Monday."

"There won't be a hearing on Monday," Vivi says, her voice taking the same ineffable quality that Cardan's had. It was always strange watching the Folk glamour mortals from this end. Normally, I'm not a fan, especially of my sister doing it. But I cannot spend the weekend in a jail cell.

"Ri-ight," the sheriff agrees. He goes quiet for a moment and I suppose it's during this time that his brain supplies a good reason for letting me leave. He blinks his eyes rapidly, as if waking, and he shakes his head. Then he unlocks the cell and holds it open for me. "You're free to go."

"Wait, he still has my dagger," I say as I step hurriedly out of the cell. The sheriff closes it slowly behind me and stares at my cellmate thougthfully. She had been snoring loudly through this entire exchange.

"By all means let us retrieve it," Cardan drawls. "We all know how naked you feel without a weapon." Vivi rolls her eyes and enchants the sheriff again. A few minutes later, he's brought my sheathed dagger out from the evidence locker, and thrown away the plastic baggie it had been stored in. I wonder if he will get in trouble for this, then I decide that I don't care. I shouldn't have been arrested in the first place.

"Hey buddy," the sheriff calls Cardan aside. His brow goes up. At the informality of the address, I suppose. Still, he's intrigued enough to move closer. Whatever glamour Cardan had put on the sheriff seems to have left him with the impression that he and the High King were friends. He grinned mischievously at Cardan and hands him a manila envelope. "I figured you'd want a souvenir of your girlfriend's time as a felon."

"I'm not his girlfriend," I huff rolling my eyes. Cardan accepts the envelope nonetheless. I'm too tired to care, though. It must be near dawn, and all I want is to go home and sleep.

"What did he give you?" Vivi asks as we make our way to her and Heather's car. Cardan opens the envelope and pulls out a glossy picture. It's my mug shot. A flash of hot rage rolls through me, and I have half a mind to go back inside and show the snarky sheriff what assault with a deadly weapon truly looked like.

"I need ten copies of that!" Vivi howls with laughter. "I'm sending this to everyone!"

"No you're not!" I say, snatching the picture out of Cardan's hand and stuffing it in my pocket. "We are never talking about this again."

"Oh, honey," Vivi laughs again, throwing her arm around my shoulder. "You know that's not true." I grumble something vaguely threatening as I climb into the backseat of the car, but I know she's right. At least the photo evidence will soon be gone. I plan on burning my mugshot as soon as I can.

Later, in my rooms at the palace, I intend to do just that. Only when I check the pocket of my hoodie, it's gone. It must have fallen out in the car.

-:-:-:-:-:-

In his room, Cardan pulls out the photograph the sheriff had given him, and smooths it out. It's not very wrinkled, despite having been shoved unceremoniously into Jude's pocket. The woman herself stares up at him, holding a black placard with Duarte written in white block letters and a series of numbers beneath that. Loose strands of hair had fallen from her simple braid to frame her face, and she looks like she'd just been through a battle. Cardan supposes that wasn't far from the truth. Despite her apparent disarray at the time of her arrest, she manages to somehow look both imperious and sullen at the same time. Cardan grins at the image, knowing that Jude might actually kill him if she knew he had it.

Some months later, when she is in the middle of carving a space for herself in his room (their room, he corrects himself), Cardan is proven right.

"Are you serious?" she demands, snatching the framed photo from among his things on the dresser. Her eyes are alight with anger when she rounds on him. Cardan only chuckles in reply.

"Well, I could hardly commission an official portrait of you without drawing some uncomfortable questions," he tells her. "Besides, I don't think any painter in Faerie or the mortal world could capture your essence quite as succinctly as this."

"Get rid of it!" Jude orders him. His wife didn't need any magical binds to get Cardan to do whatever she wanted. He would swim the entire ocean to bring her the fruit of the trees that grew in the Court of Teeth if she wanted. But in this, he would have to insist on his own way. He crosses the room and gently pulls the picture from his wife's resisting hands.

"I would sooner throw my crown in a tar pit," he tells her. At her indignant shriek, he laughs again and kisses her forehead. The novelty of having the privilege to do so hadn't yet lost it's luster, and Cardan suspected it would be a very, very long time before it did. "Have I ever told you how adorable you are when you're angry?"

"I thought I was terrifying," Jude says, crossing her arms and scowling at him. Cardan shrugs.

"Who said you couldn't be both?" He smirks at her as he goes in for the final blow, "My little lady."

[shit-talker]

The 141 have a ridiculous run of inside jokes that is continuosly ruining their lives, such as;

1.) If someone says, "You love it really," to you, you immediately have to agree with them, no matter what the circumstances. Otherwise, you lose the ability to do it back. This has resulted in many weird fake confessions, including one time in which Soap got fed up with people making your mom jokes at him and went on a rant about it. Ghost glanced at him in front of a room full of cadets and just went, "You love it really, though," and Soap almost died as he sadly nodded and replied, "Yeah, I do."

2.) If something even remotely sexual sounding is said about you, you must always say, "You're damn right I do/am/will," back. This backfired once when they were in a defreif and Price said something about Gaz "coming through the back door" and Gaz, without think, winked and replied "You're damn right I did," In front of everyone and got in trouble for mild insubordination. (The others almost died laughing as he realised what he'd done, who he'd done it to, and who he'd done it in front of (aka Price's bosses))

3.) When talking about Roach, they will always act like he's died. He hasn't, but none of them can stop the joke, and it always makes all of them crack up, even Roach. This once caused major panic, as once when Ghost was discussing their latest mission with Laswell, he said, "It was fine because Roach - God rest his soul -" and Laswell had about two minutes where she thinks Roach has dropped dead and she didn't fucking know.

4.) They will always make up bad stories for how they met Ghost, if anyone ever asks. It doesn't matter what the truth is, or who they're speaking to, when asked, all three of them will reply with some made up, overly dramatic or down right boring story on how they met. These stories ranged from Ghost, saving them from a shark attack (Gaz), Ghost selling them assorted drugs as a teenager (Roach), and most devastatingly is when Soap told a distant relative of his that he met Ghost after "finding him with my older brother, behind his wifes back" he does not have an older brother, and so there is no wife.

5.) They always reference the "Malibu incident." None of them have ever been to Malibu. Nothing bad has ever happened there, but now they've created a whole conspiracy in the British Army about a coverup that happened in Malibu. Price knows about this one and finds it endlessly funny, so he goes along with it, never directly mentioning it but refusing to deny it when someone asks. If anyone ever asks about the details of it, they just give a deadpanned look as if the other person should already know and say; "Don't make me say it." There are rumours. Like, a lot of rumours.

6.) Roach claps every time someone says, "I'll be there for you" because once he clapped at the wrong time during the friends intro and had been paying the price ever since. It doesn't happen often, but sometimes you'll just hear him clapping - not even in the tune to the friends theme. Just random clapping. If any of the others hear it, they almost always reply with "That's a fuckin' joke" in a really disappointed tone. It's confused a lot of people.

[blackbirdsblackberries]

I HATE THE NEW HERO

PT 1 - What teacher assigns a group project for a poster?!

Pt 1 (You're here) - Pt 2 - Pt 3 - Pt 4 - Pt 5 - Pt 6 - Pt 7 - Pt 8 - Pt 9 - Pt 10

Classes were always boring for you, don't get you wrong - you love the subjects, you just hate how it's being taught.

To sum it up, here is your lessons for today, Friday.

Literature, Methods Math, Biology, Ancient History, Engineering and finally Chemistry.

It's a lot and frankly you're regretting choosing half of those subjects. Even more so because of a certain billionaire playboy's ward. Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne.

You're pretty sure he's a massive fanboy of Aranea, the new spider-themed hero of Gotham who you detest with your very being.

The costume is ugly, they're too optimistic - it's Gotham, who on Earth is happy in Gotham? Most of all however, they're a two-faced bitch. You should know, after all you are them.

It's not that you hate yourself and your nightlife, just that you need to look unconnected to them at all costs. There can't be any correlation between you and your persona. You use a voice modulator while on patrol and missions, you wear a wig while in your costume and any defining features are covered by either the costume or makeup.

So, whenever Aranea is brought up you take the chance to make fun of it. The comments aren't anything horrible, mean sure.

"Ew, they're more of a roach than a spider.."

"They're actually ugly enough to be the next Joker"

"I hope they humiliate themself and everyone sees how gross they really are."

But not horrible.

Despite this Timothy seems to have thought you were the devil himself in the form of a teenager. Glares were thrown at you, false reports were made to the principal's office, public shaming on Chitter and more.

You won't lie and say it gets to you sometimes but at the same time he's being a manchild. You can't expect everyone to like who you like.

You're snapped out of your thoughts by a paper being slammed onto the desk. Your head snaps up and you glare at the person.

Timothy may as well be the devil with the way he's staring at you now, a sneer paints his pale features. His nose held high enough that you swore he was about to snort on you.

You grit your teeth and look down at the paper he slammed on your desk. You're actually going to scream and cry right now.

Scratch that, you're actually going to jump out of the window and hope to perish.

You hate Chemistry. You hate this school. You hate Gotham. You hate Timothy Jackson Drake.

You pray he'll think you're incompetent and not bother with actually working together for this group project.

A group project on Titration! Who even does a group project outside of school for that?

You look around, hoping there will be others in the group but because your luck is so thin it might snap everyone else already were in groups of 3s. Meaning Timothy and you would just be a duo.

Instead of doing what you wished you instead sighed and grabbed your pencil, probing at Timothy's hand until it stopped holding the paper against the desk.

"A poster on bases and acids in titration? Why does this need to be a two-person job?!" You huff out. Timothy's features turn more hate filled, kinda petty to hate someone for different tastes Timothy...

"Because lazy people like you won't do the work otherwise!"

"I'm not lazy! Fine, fuck you! I'll do it myself!"

"No way! I need the marks - plus you'll do it wrong!"

you take a deep breath, trying desperately to not snap your pencil in half.

"... Fine. We'll do it at my place then once school lets out. No way am I going to your place where I'm sure you'll set your family on me." You respond calmly, still glaring up at him.

After a moment Timothy nods.

Your shoulders slump in relief.

"I'll meet you at the front gate then."

"Fine. But if you're late I'm doing the project on my own." With that Timothy walks away. You feel a migraine coming on - seriously, what is wrong with him? There wasn't even a proper time set!

Some people think that Damian kid is the rudest - those people clearly haven't been on the bad, petty side of Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne.

[soy-soi-si]

Imagine y/n having to join the team as a stand in for another person that was supposed to be there. And everything goes wrong.

Tw. angst, brief torture, injuries, death, past abuse, helplessness, reader almost dying. Foul language! Really crappy writing and not proof read prolly missing a few Tw's as well.

Y/n doesn't like the group at first. They seem patronizing, constantly talking about the person who was going to join. Constantly asking if you could actually do what he was supposed to. Hell even when she was completing the mission they kept checking on her more than each other even if two of them were under fire. She got so annoyed with Price after the genuine thirtieth time he told her the step by step of what she already did.

“If you keep fucking patronizing me I'll bust your balls Mr. Price is right. Now fuck off I'm already done.” She sighs at the deactivated bomb having completely gutted it and made sure it's not going to explode. Not to mention rescuing the hostages and securing the building and her section.

The laughter over comes echo's in her ear as she turns to the man it was strapped to as he cries out his thanks. She already checked him for weapons along with the other hostages; she untied them all and now has them in a corner taking cover just in case. Mostly women and a couple kids like three men including the one she saved.

She also deactivated the other bombs in her building and surrounding. “Christ sake your feisty lass!��� she scoffs in response to soap, no longer looking at the civilians “You cunts have done nothing but baby and patronize me the entire time I've been around you. Sit and spin you big bitch.” The others chuckle at the end of the sentence.

“What am I sitting on again lassie?” she smirks “My fuckin 31cm dildo I'm gonna fuck you with later.” The cackles echo from gaz and roach. She hums before turning back to the civilians. “She's right about you patronizing her.” Ghost's voice echoes from the coms as a gunshot does as well. “my sector is clear.” She blinks as she hears movement outside.

“I think some strays came to my sector. I'm hearing stuff outside.” She raises her gun slowly moving to a window. She catches a peak of a huge group of the enemy surrounding her building. “I'm surrounded, there's easily a hundred if not over. Shit!” she notices one of them aiming up at the windows and she drops down. “these guy were not fucking anywhere near here until now…” she pauses as she hears one of the radios from the enemy in the hall and she crawls over to the door and she spots it sitting out front by the dead body and she grabs it closing the door again.

She listens to them moving to defend the hostages. “shit, they're telling everyone to come to my building!” She puts the other Radio against her mic. “Find the hostages, and the woman…” that's all she can make out before the window shatters along with an explosion. “take her alive and kill everyone else.” her ears are ringing as she sees someone coming out of the smoker and she shoots at them.

Searing agony sweeps through her after a second. She couldn't even tell she screamed as someone tackled her. “Get the fuck off of me!” Shooting them straight in the face then she shoots once at any movement she can make out the gun quickly clicking in response so she drops it pulling her handgun.

Then it's knocked from her hand as soldiers shoot at her from the doorway and it doesn't take long for her to realize she's on the floor surrounded by enemies. Each hostage she just saved gathered in front of her an executive guilt filling her body as each of them are made to look at her. She can't lift her hands or legs anymore in pure agony as the adrenaline is gone and so is each person she just met.

The seemingly leader steps in front of her holding a knife flipping it in his hand smiling as he crouches down to her eye level. She saw his picture and couldn't help but recognize him. “Hello there doll, you mind telling me where the pretty boy who was supposed to be on this mission is?” she glares at him. As he taps it against her neck, lightly cutting her skin each time. “So you've got Intel from our base. Sorry but he's fuckin dead. Died off base via a psycho girlfriend who thought he was cheating on him.” he takes a second before smiling. “Amazing news, pity I didn't get the honor though.” he cuts her wire. “But I'll make up for that with you pretty girl.”

· · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

She never wanted to die, at least not like this, not after lying her ass off about everything they wanted to know as they tortured her. She wanted to gloat in their face after what she said gets them caught and killed. But she could be proud at least at the wide eye angel personality and face she's pulling the cries and blubbering all fake.

“Puhluse I've told you everything!” She sniffles crying in agony, her eyes wide as she's pushed into a freezer, one you would have in a garage for wild game or fish except it's more like a transport cooler in size. The lid slammed shut over her and it's pushed into a hole of sorts crashing into the side then onto the small box beneath her.

“No, no no!” She tries pushing the lid up but it's heavier and heavier as dirt covers it. “FUCKIN BASTARD!” She kicks the lid, not even budging. She lays as she notices how cold it is here, probably freshly turned off.

She takes a few deep breaths as she knows she'll die in here sooner or later. She searches for her phone in her bra quickly finding it. Looking at the battery it's almost dead. “Shit” 10% she quickly shoots a text to her brothers group chat. A simple I love you. Before she calls the number one of the idiots gave her before they actually went on field. She desperately listens to the ringing before it's picked up. “Are you the Sargent!” She can hear the vehicle running. “Yes it's fuckin me! I lied to them about the information. They're headed for West Point and go get them! I want them to die for this!” She tears up knowing damn well she's setting herself up to die sending them away from her she bites her lip sniffling at the bright screen in agony.

“I’m sorry I fucked up big time. Just tell my brothers I'm sorry and that I love them.” “Y/n where are you.” Price's voice now echoes from the phone. “Dunno, but I'll be, I'll be.” she chokes back a sob at the words memories coming back as she looks at the lid above her. “I’ll be fine, just go get 'em for me. West point I sent them towards the dummy container and warehouse they're looking for weaponry.” her hands are shaking as the cold gets to her.

“Y/n breathe for me what are your surroundings like right now.” Gaz practically chokes out his question. “They buried me. You won't find me in time even if you look. Just go get them! Stop worrying about me and go get them! I didn't just go through torture for you to fucking fail on me!” She is starting to get sleepy as she switches her phone to the most battery saving settings she can. Sniffling, she looks at the phone. “Please tell him I love him and that I'm sorry. He's the, he's the one that was supposed to be on the mission he's my little brother,” laughing once she sighs, “Thank you for everything even if it was annoying for you to patronize me.” She smiles at the screen as Ghost goes to speak “we’re not going to-” it dies in the middle of his sentence, leaving her alone in the pitch black. She begins sobbing uncontrollably holding her phone in front of her wishing it was still on.

“N-no, ple-euase, I don-n't wa-auhnnt to digh-ie,” she can't breathe with how much she's choked up. “N, Noaut liku- ke, th-This-ss,” she's just getting more distraught by the second as all the composure she's been keeping until now is gone. She just sits there remembering her life, her recent life, then her childhood remembering how her dad would lock her in their freezer when he got angry.

“Da-Daddy please I don't want to die like this.” she can practically hear him scream from the other side as white spots appear in her vision. “Shut the fuck up you little whore!”

She reaches up barely able to feel her body as she knocks on the freezer like how she used to since it was against her and her siblings room. She can't even speak as she can't move anymore and she turns looking at her phone again in her limp hand.

I'm so sorry, I said I'd be fine on my own.

She didn't even realize she passed out not until her eyes opened again as sudden warmth hit her, let alone how it grabbed her neck. “She's alive!” Roaches' voice screams from above her as she's ripped from the freezing cold and put on the burning hot dirt of the outback. Someone pushed her onto her back doing chest compression then grabbing her nose before blowing into her mouth her head tilted back. Once then twice. Then three times as suddenly she gains control of her breathing, her head no longer as fuzzy as she chokes breathing looking around dazed.

She's rolled onto her side. “She's lost a huge amount of blood, the freezer floors full of it!” She hears roach climbing out as she lays her head on the dirt, unable to move besides shaking, noticing the early signs of hypothermia in her hands as they're almost blue.

“I got her phone to come on!” Roach and the second person here get in the back of the buggy and she notices finally it's a blonde man with a balaclava pulled down showing his scarred face then she sees the familiar mask on the top of his head and the tactical gear and she hears soap cursing in the front. “Patch her up already you fuckin bastards!” she looks at Ghost, feeling her tear stained face clearly along with her snot caked onto her. Seeing some on him from mouth to mouth.

He leans over her trying to wrap her head but she reaches up using what's left of her sleeve to wipe off her snot and tears off of him. He looks at her surprised but more so worried. “Aren’t you handsome, sorry about the snot.” her voice is barely there as her arm falls as she passes out again.

She didn't know scared older military men were her type.

[draconym]

Tell us more about the Spricket Dungeon? I'm admittedly morbidly curious now

A lot of people have a spricket dungeon in their basement. Sprickets, or "spider crickets," commonly called cave crickets or camel crickets, are cave adapted (trogloxene) fauna and have been living alongside humans (also trogloxenes) for probably tens of thousands of years. The oldest known illustration of an insect is of a cave cricket, carved into a bison bone in France somewhere between twelve and seventeen thousand years ago.

While harmless, a cave cricket is like if a water buffalo were the size of a blueberry and could subsist entirely on mold and autocannibalism. So any dark and humid place where you might find a hint of mildew or dust seems sufficient to sustain a breeding population, and if they somehow end up in a sterile environment, cave crickets can live for months without any food at all. Roaches get all the credit for being nature's most indestructible vermin, but I think cave crickets are equally likely to withstand nuclear apocalypse, especially considering their tendency to live deep underground.

My old house's spricket dungeon was a crawl space under the stairs where we kept snow shovels, paint cans, and bicycles. There was a lot of debris in the closet when we first moved in, and I suspect us cleaning it out was what started the crickets' slow population decline. My housemates and I occasionally caught them or laid down duct tape traps, but mostly the crickets stayed in their artificial cave and only one or two would venture out into the rest of the basement each day.

Stomping on them was out of the question. Not only did it seem too violent, it was also deeply unpleasant to imagine popping them like grapes underfoot. Additionally, those fuckers are fast. I mentioned this in my last post, but their primary defense mechanism really is launching themselves at your face, and it's very effective. Imagine if the water buffalo the size of a blueberry could jump three feet in the air, and it was pissed.

It didn't usually disturb the crickets if you opened the door to pull out a bike. They were mostly carpeting the far wall of unpainted cinderblocks. But if you turned on the closet light bulb, they often started hopping in every direction, and their fat bodies thumping against the linoleum made a hollow 'pop' sound similar to a popcorn kernel in a paper bag. Now imagine dozens of them doing that at once in your direction.

Over the thirteen years we lived in that house, my housemates and I saw the population of sprickets dwindle to about a dozen, but we rarely went more than a week without seeing one. They're much less common in the house we moved to a year and a half ago. We see perhaps one small one a month, rarely any bigger than a skittle, and significantly more timid when not surrounded by an entire cricket metropolis.

I don't particularly want to share my house with them. But they are kind of an inevitability in most human homes, as they have been since we were living in caves. So I do try to regard them as fellow cave dwellers with as much awe and kindness as I can muster, whether I see them in my basement or in the Appalachian karst.

[cherie-doll]

Hello, I really like your work, I think I've read everything so far, but it's very addictive 🫶

I recently saw a video where a boy was running towards his father to escape from a school bully who wanted to hit him. I would like to know if you could place an order with the Call of Duty guys reacting to this situation. thank you.

I'm your fan. ♥️

really sorry i've been so slow with requests lately sometimes i don't feel well, thank you for submitting this <3

ᡴ Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto

COD Men's Reactions To Their Kids Being Bullied

༄ Price would be swooping his kid up in his arms before the little booger got close to him. He's trying to make sense of what's happening and demanding to hear it. He'll want to hear the WHOLE thing through.

༄ Simon had heard his child softly sniffling in your arms before when you were able to coax the story out from your son. Now you're scared about what Simon is up to when he stands there wearing his skull mask which is surely enough to terrify anyone to death.

༄ Johnny has some of the worst ways to deal with a problem and this is one of them. In the moment, he's confused but picking up his kid and afterwards when he finds out what happened he's down in the basement showing him ways to knock a kid out, like??

༄ Kyle makes sure his kid is safe, no injuries or marks when he picks him up. Then he's turning to the bully and telling them to stop, pulling whatever object they were thinking of using to hit his kid. Would probably sit down on a bench and have a talk to the bully or something.

༄ Roach is picking up his kid and booking it out of there. That bully looks a lot older and bigger that it makes him question if he even goes to that same school. Frankly, he's a little scared too and is trying to pick up the pace on the way to the car.

༄ Alejandro would be running after the bully telling him to put that down. Afterwards, he's giving a good talking to (after making sure his kid is alright first, of course). He doesn't care if the bully's parents pull up upset that their kid was scolded by a stranger but HIS kid was almost injured.

༄ Rudy was primarily concerned for the wellbeing of his kid when he realized what was going on. He's wanting to know the entire situation and even then he'll want to talk to the kid's parents, the teachers and whoever else could have overlooked this issue. He's making sure it doesn't happen again in the future not to his own child nor to other kids.

༄ Phillip would have convinced to NOT go directly to the principal's office demanding the kid be expelled. And if the school isn't willing to respond? God have mercy....

༄ Makarov would have to be held back. Not that his kid can't defend himself, no he taught them better than that. But the idea that someone thought they could look down on one of HIS kids is enough reason for him to want to declare war.

༄ Keegan brings a "man up" resolve to a situation that neither you nor your kid is too keen on. He's defending his kid this time, especially when he sees what the bully's intentions are. But next time he prefers to teach his kid how to prevent it from happening again.

༄ König was bullied as a kid, right? There would probably be flashbacks of his times of enduring the relentless bullying of other kids going through his mind right now. Kid's can be cruel. Would take a minute for him to snap out of it before he's springing into action.

༄ Horangi would probably think they're just playing rough before seeing his daughter running to him with tears streaming down the sides of her face. He's already calling a lawyer and investigating who the bully's parents are, where they work and how they'd settle this.

༄ Nikto's sleeve would be getting tugged desperately by his kid for him to notice that it was something urgent and not just the kids playing. Would calmly pick his kid up and ask the other child where his parents were and that they needed to be disciplined a little more.

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Some Dad!Cod Character Scenario and Appreciation Post

Characters In Mind: Simon "Ghost" Riley, John "Soap" MacTavish, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra, Alex Keller, König, Keegan P. Russ, Gary "Roach" Sanderson.

The original creator of the picture, they also have so many works that are used in so many fanfics as well so please credit her. I found her account here on Tumblr (@ave661) and here is the post.

AFAB!Reader and used pronouns are "you"

Apologies if this is a bit too short but;

ꕥ HOPE YOU ENJOY! ��

A/n: I've had a good but also bad week (good thanks to @puff0o0 and other extremely sweet mutuals), it's neutral, I'm not here to rant of any sort but my personal life has not been good. I understand that not everyone will like me but it feels as though everyone hates me, most of those people happen to be at school. Sure I'm not really going to do anything about it because I prefer avoiding conflict but those same people are trying to flip the story around as if I'm the one who hates them when in reality I don't and by being mean to me they're giving me a reason to dislike them. Sure I'm average academically, sometimes I have difficulty pulling my weight in group works and I'm not outstanding in reportings but we all have our difficulties. I just don't understand people who love to hate on others because they have nothing better to do.

This is a word of advice to everyone, don't let others let you feel insignificant, you aren't and you have many talents that make you different from them. (I don't really practice what I preach because I love self-deprication, however I don't want people to feel the way I do because I know what it can cause)

Disclaimers/warnings: OOC??, Pregnancy, Implied birth, Children (Pretty sure that was obvious from the title), People who don't want/hate children be warned.

Short note: This is also a dedication to all the Mistki and Hozier fans out there <3

He was so used to the smell of hospitals, the smell of medication, it always indicated death for him but this was a whole new feeling. It was the opposite of what he has seen most of his life

So much so that he refused to hold them, afraid of potentially hurting the fragile little one. He looked at you as if you were crazy when you tried to hand him the baby, "Come on now love, you can't just avoid holding them forever" you said to him as of it was a life or death situation.

Hesitantly letting you guide him through the proper way to hold them, he felt his breath hitch at the sound of cooing. The first time the baby opened it's eyes, the first thing they saw being their dad.

The moment he looked at the baby sealed it, he was going to protect them their whole life, he would go as far as feeling all the guilt of having blood on their hands again if it meant your baby would be protected and cared for.

The baby was so small that it's little head was practically the size of his palm, he didn't know initially what to do when the baby cried and shocked himself when he managed to make them stop.

Once the baby was old enough to crawl, he'd let the baby crawl all over him. The little one babbling non-sense while he just chuckled and replied as if he understood what the baby was saying. Gods be damned if he misses an important milestone such as their first word or their first time walking.

You'd often wake up to seeing him shirtless snoozing on the couch, the tv playing only ads for home appliances late at night while the baby only in a diaper having skin to skin contact with their dad, his huge hand big enough to support the little one from falling.

He almost cried the first time your baby reached for his face an touched it, resting it's tiny little fingers on his cheek, giving him a gummy smile. His little one unaware that they just healed something they never broke.

He NEVER wants to ever see your little one grow up, though sure it makes more memories with them, sometimes they just wish time stops for a second so they can enjoy the moment longer.

Initially was terrified that he'd pass his trauma down but he realized that wouldn't be possible and he will NOT ever let them go through what he did.

Eventually chose to resign from his work because the risk was far too much, what if he died? He'd leave you and your child to grieve over him? He won't be there for them growing up and he'd miss everything.

Sure he's worked most his life to get where he is now but nothing is ever worth more than spending a lifetime with you and your child together. He's been lonely almost all his life until he met you.

You are his family, his everything. He promised that whatever happens, he'll crawl home to you...

[sillygoose343]

COD But If They Were Gen Z Brainrot Things

COD but if they're brainrot. (I don't know what possessed me to do this, uni exams are causing me to tweak).

I formally apologise to: Simon "Ghost" Riley, John Price, John "Soap" MacTavish, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, Gary "Roach" Sanderson, Kate Laswell, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra, Nikolai, Phillip Graves, König, Kim "Horangi" Hong-jin, Vladimir Makarov

i did NOT take this seriously 🥴im jit yapping

🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺

Ghost - monday left me broken

Soap's dead, Roach's dead, Mara's dead (in the mobile comics), monday left him broken.

If I were to recount *all* of the shit that he had to go through, I would be here for awhile but I know we know what our Ghost had experienced, he's broken but he's still kicking! Onto Tuesday, Wednesday!

So I think it's a fair assessment for him to be monday left me broken

I also think he listens to the song unironically sometimes

Captain Price - smurf cat

Do I really have to explain this one?

I guess COD nation sees Papa Smurf in him but the thing about smurf cat is that it has a hat, therefore it must be Price

The resemblance is uncanny sometimes (it's just a hat)

i don't have much to say, it's literally just appearance-based for this one

Soap - prime and lunchly

soap is the type of guy to walk into the recording studio and come out with "from the screen, to the ring, to the pen, to the king, where's my crown? that's my bling, always drama, when i ring. see i believe that if i see it in my heart, smash through the ceiling, 'cause i'm reaching for the stars." look me in my metaphorical eyes and tell me im wrong

he would be guzzling down the cherry freeze after a long hard day of training

he likes his cheese drippy bruh

he kinda looks like haley welch if you squint

Gaz - gaining aura

I LOVE GAZ RAAAAH

Look at him? He literally can't physically lose aura?

I'm biased towards Gaz

Even breathing can earn this man aura, there is something innately charismatic and charming about Gaz to the point that even if he trips on air or accidentally walks around with an open bag, typically aura-losing activities, he just wouldn't lose any.

Look at him

He is Kyle "Gaz" Garrick.

Roach - cooked

well, technically, 'cooked' typically indicates that a food item has been processed through fire, at least usually

but i guess this is using the brainrot terminology, still, that changes nothing

cooked in brainrot means to be struggling, done for or that the situation is just bad, the entire brazilian militia being after his ass after he fell from the roof was one of his most iconic moments, he had many cooked moments in the campaign but that one truly defined him, he was, in fact, cooked

literally and figuratively

Laswell - galvanised square steel

galvanised square steel is an extremely durable material, is able to transform even the smallest 1mx1m square apartment into a fully functional multi-purpose home with the assistance of eco-friendly wood veneers and

as ghost put it, "laswell's still solid as a rock" except, she's as solid as galvanised square steel

she's reliable, resilient and shes like the foundation as the galvanised square steel while 141 is like the eco-friendly wood veneers

Alejandro - oil up

one could say that all men in cod could represent 'oil up' but i think alejandro embodies the 'oil up' phrase

im actually just straight tweaking when i say this but i think he'd have a similar community to orange peanut's if he ever became an influencer, like different content but his comment section would be filled with 'when are you going to oil up'

i also think he'd be the kind of guy to gladly oil up on request, granted there was an ample amount of oil

Rodolfo - livvy dunne

rudy doesn't really strike me as a rizzer more like a rizzee (im tweaking so hard right now)

he seems like the type of guy to get rizzed up by baby gronk and then promptly train for his gymnastics or something

there's not much to comment on here, just that he looks like the type of guy to be rizzed

Nikolai - metal pipe sound effect

nikolai is unique in the sense that i think he encapsulates the metal pipe sound effect rather than a phrase or a brainrot figure

i have a feeling that during violence and timing gaz would agree with me

i have a feeling that the butcher in mw2019 would also agree with me

he's a menace but no brainrot compilation is the same without the metal pipe sound effect so :333

Phillip Graves - only in ohio

that gif shows up when i search for ohio

i feel like this one is very self-explanatory

in some instances gyatt and ohio can be used interchangeably so i would also consider him having the dual position of embodying gyatt and ohio at the same time, lucky bloke

König - alpha wolf

furry könig skin

furry wolf skin, no further commentary needed

Horangi - 99% of gamblers quit before they hit big

that is just what he did

Makarov - skibidi toilet

we have all seen the smile skin

skibidi toilet is evil incarnate, poisoning the minds of the children, even in the lore of skibidi toilet it is evil and direct antagonistic villains towards camera head people, sounds just like makarov

the smile skin is like the mould on lunchly cheese, its the outward thing you see but the evil of skibidi toilet like makarovs evil is like the mould spores inside the cheese

🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺

it is now nearly 3am, im so failing my histology class man

[lxvvie]

On today's episode of 'Simps 'R Us', Call of Duty: Medic. How is your fave as a patient when you have to take care of them when they're sick/injured?

Capt. John Price - Probably the grumpiest patient ever; doesn't really know what to do with himself while he's recuperating. Also can't smoke so that contributes to the grumpiness. The boys will poke fun at him (read: Gaz and Soap) and Price threatens to make them do wall sits when he gets better. The plus side is that you're there to keep him company.

Gaz - Is somewhere in the middle between grumpy and the best patient ever, depending. Luckily, he has an abundance of entertainment in you and whatever movie or puzzle you have for him.

Alex Keller - Is actually quite agreeable as a patient where you're concerned. When he's sick, Alex is the one who has Vick's vapor rub slathered under his nose, on his chest, on his feet (with socks on, too), and he's under as many blankets as possible. Even though he hates being hot, he's prepared to sweat that motherfucker out because he'll be damned if he leaves you hanging, Boss. ❤️

Soap - Golden Retriever as fuck. This is the man who can clear a fucking building, y'all. Soap is the one who's absolutely heartbroken and mopes in bed for all the wrong reasons. How could you do this to him? How could you leave him when he's at his lowest? How could you—"Johnny, I'm in the other room."

Ghost - What is man but a miserable pile of Ghosts? Simon is agreeable because he's knocked the fuck out asleep 80% of the time. He's also under a lot of blankets. Like... a lot. So much so that you'd be forgiven for thinking that it's just a pile on the bed and not him. The only way you can tell is the tuft of hair sticking out from under the covers. Also has a tendency to sleep curled up somewhat. He feels... safe.

Roach - Is absolutely, 💯 the best patient ever. You hardly have to ever worry about him. For the most part.

Keegan - Keegan is just... there. Existing. And feel just like he looks right now: sorry and like shit. He's right there in the middle, surprisingly; he really only calms down and accepts the help because you sweet talk him into doing so.

Alejandro - Is the one who has to warm up to being a patient because if he had it his way, he'd work from bed. Good thing he doesn't and you and Rudy are there to keep his ass in bed and AWAY from the desk. He winds up loving it, though, because it means he gets to flirt with you endlessly.

Rudy - The perfect patient. In fact, he's the one who'd have a list of home remedies passed down in his family so Rudy's always prepared if something were to happen.

König - His nervous energy won't keep him down for long and, surprisingly, König hates being tended to. Doesn't like the implied helplessness that comes with it. He'll relent somewhat after you've lectured him but there are some trying moments.

Horangi - Probably the absolute worst because he won't stay down for anything. Horangi likes to move around because it helps him to not concentrate on the pain. You'd have to literally proposition him or something like that to make him stay in one place lmao.

Graves - The most complaining motherfucker on the planet. Doesn't like this shit at all. He'd have a change of heart if you were butt naked while taking care of him, darlin'.

Valeria - The one who's busy being pampered while plotting revenge on the bastard(s) who managed to get her sick.

Farah - The one who feels guilty for being in the state that she's in and would rather she tend to herself but Farah relents when you tell her she deserves this and more. It's so cute the way she gets a little bashful when you do so.

[the-voldsoy]

Alrighty it is almost the end of the year so, in no particular order, here are podcasts I recommend of the ones I've listened to this year! (let me tell you picking favourites for this was So hard) (Unfortunately I can't just do all of them because there are almost 50)

Hello From The Hallowoods: The world ended, but we're still here, and shit's weird. (Has made me cry; even the trees are queer; my comfort show<3)

Camp Here And There: Good morning campers! The time is 7:63AM and Cabin Magpie Moth has spontaneously combusted! Whichever one of you little woodworms can put it out first can come get a puffy sticker from me in the Nurses Cabin! (Is it a horror? Is it a comedy? I don't know, you'd have to check to be sure)

Wooden Overcoats: Funn Funerals used to be the only funeral parlor on the island. It isn't anymore. (Sitcom, the main characters are the most miserable wet cats you ever did see)

Re: Dracula: Maybe this year, they'll be okay. Maybe this year they'll all live. Maybe this year he won't go, and she'll be alright.

Magnus Protocol: TMA's louder, bolder, less serious younger sibling.

The Silt Verses: Oh boy. Let me tell you, you will look at crabs differently after this. (WET horror, genuinely the best pod I've ever heard)

Archive 81: Dan, a newly hired archivist, has to listen to and catalogue a set of old audio tapes. The tapes contain interviews conducted by someone Dan has never heard of. Dan is in an isolated bunker in the middle of the woods. Surely nothing will happen to our dear friend Dan. (What is it with archivists and getting snatched by The Horrors? Ignore the tv show it doesn't exist)

Red Valley: Just a couple of guys with an interest in research station Red Valley, whose focus was cryonics. It's completely defunct now. I wonder what happened. (Ethics? What's that?)

Woe.Begone: Some say it's about time-travel, some say it's about keeping yourself and those close to you alive, some say it's about online safety. All can agree on one point: What the fuck why are there cowboys now

Midnight Burger: Midnight Burger is a time-travelling, dimension-spanning diner. Dunno how it works or where it's going next. We open at six! (The episodes are an hour long minimum but it's worth it. Comedy sci-fi, lighthearted fun :)

Old Gods of Appalachia: The Appalachians are spooky y'all. (The narrator's voice is so comforting in this, it feels like campfire stories)

Dreamboy: Went into this pod being told it was made by the people who made WTNV and absolutely no other information. Let me tell you I did not expect the main character to tell us that he got a hard-on in the first episode. (The most sexually explicit pod I've listened to)

The White Vault: Nice little trip to Svalbard to check on the remote research station, surely nothing will go wrong :) (Holy Fucking Shit What Is That) (Recommend 1st season especially to The Thing (1982) enjoyers)

Camlann: Ever wished that you were apart of Welsh folklore or Arthurian legends? Or perhaps some of the last people left on Earth? No? Ah well, you'll pick it up soon enough. (Three idiots and a dog in Wales, fighting for their lives)

Breaker Whiskey: Imagine. Being the only person on earth. Just you. Just you, and someone on the radio. Just you, the radio, and a woman you absolutely do NOT have sexual tension with. (This one looks really long because it has 260+ episodes, but they're like 4 minutes long each so it's not really)

Ethics Town: Don't worry about it. (Cannot recommend enough, it is a mindfuck)

Tell No Tales: What if ghosts were a thing that could infest a place, like rats or roaches or mold? What if it was your job to exterminate them? And the million-pound question, do ghosts deserve rights? (I am waiting so so patiently for the rest of s2)

Remnants: You wake up in a place you recognise. You have always been there. You have no idea where you are. You see a stranger's life. You recognise them. You knew them once, you think. Discard or reshelve? You don't know what that means. It does not matter. Discard or reshelve, that is the question. (I am going insane over this pod)

Not Quite Dead: Vampires! Alfie is an overworked A&E nurse who does not have time for this shit. Unfortunately, he does not have a choice in this matter. (A really interesting take on vampirism, going into the biology. It is fascinating, and an exciting story)

Travelling Light: Space Quaker! Listen to the Traveller tell you about every new planet and civilisation they visit. Whattttt noooo they don't have a crush on one of their crew members what are you taaaalking abouttttt (Very comforting pod, beauty in the mundane in a way? But not mundane because yk. Aliens)

Someone Just Like You: Brilliant horror, just really well written. I don't even have words for it. So far there are only 6 episodes and the concepts/plots of each seem cheesy, but my GOD the execution.

The Bright Sessions: People with powers get therapy! Thank God, they need it so bad. (I love one particular antagonist so much, I need to put him in a microwave)

Poe: Evermore: It wasn't until I started this that I realised that Edgar Allen Poe would have had a Boston-ish accent. Reallyyy interesting story of his life, and I keep getting jumpscared by VAs I recognise. Faulkner Silt Verses what are you doing here.

Witherburn After School News: Your school radio host getting WAY more involved in the news than they should. Really hope they're still breathing. Love the folklore section though!

Before The Tone: Voicemails from someone who just got a job they probably shouldn't have. (Brilliant idea for the format, and great execution)

I Am In Eskew: What if you were trapped? What if you had a home, a wife and a child? What if they aren't real? Are you sure? Go and check. What if your city tried to kill you? What if it loved you very much, more than anyone else? (Horror but the narrator is the saddest wettest man you've ever heard)

Sherlock & Co: Modern day Sherlock Holmes, and John Watson is a true crime podcaster. Dear God I did not think it would be as compelling as it is.

[heartfullofleeches]

Determination and Dedication-

Yan Roach Hybrid + Slasher Reader

[I'm so sorry for it this- Hope you guys like Cicada the Roach. Tw for light gore]

"I stuck my penis in a toaster once."

An interlude of silence dissects the monotonous batter of metal against steel. The hack of the saw blade making contact with the table ruptures the squelch of diving tissue and the shattering of bone.

"Now, you may be asking yourself why I bring up now of all times. It's to prove my dedication to making our relationship work."

Hands swathed in the leathery flesh of victims past pry at the corpse's ribcage - bitter eyes flooded with madness upon spotting the broken fragments of bone jutting through the skin. Most of the artist's works were patchwork collages made up of what their muses left behind in death, though they still tried their best to leave the flesh unscathed.

"Did my penis get stuck? Possibly. Did I have to go to the hospital? I've been there for worse. Did I ejaculate? Yes. - Which brings me back around to my original point. I saw something I wanted to do and did it. No amount of common senses or "Cicada, stop putting your dick in holes it doesn't belong!" Will never stop me. Why do you think I'm in love with you? People say you shouldn't stick your dick in crazy. It's the only thing that gets mine hard at this point."

Picking up your scalpel, you begin work on separating the new material from its meat. The little voice buzzing over your shoulder means nothing to you. The best you could make from their skin is a cup coaster - and you have plenty of those. It's a descent distraction from your muses' screams while they're still of this world, but makes things leagues more difficult when it comes to the harvest.

"God, you're so hot when you ignore me. I could probably get some of my old buddies to visit you if you let me hump your leg for a bit. Please, baby- I love it when you get blood on your hands. I've been edging myself since I broke and crawled your window I need this bad-"

Cicada jumps as your scalpel slams against the table.

"If your hands touch me once I cut off every single finger."

Cicada sends a prayer of gratitude to their creators as they kneel at your feet.

"I can live with that."

[youredyingthatsallthereis]

"bug? you still there?"

roach jolted awake, nodding before he remembered ghost couldn't see him. "mhm," he hummed, hoping the affirmative was loud enough that ghost would hear.

"thought i lost ya there for a second," ghost teased. "gettin' sleepy on me again?"

just a little, but im fine, roach typed into their chat.

"hm," ghost mused into his mic. roach blinked and refocused on the stream; ghost was playing stardew valley for him again. they were quiet for a moment as ghost made quick work of harvesting some rice and jogging over to the barn his livestock were in. "if you're tired i can just cut it here, its not a big deal."

no no no, its fine! roach typed quickly. i like listening to you talk.

it was far from the first time he'd said it, but every time he said it now it felt...heavier, somehow. like there was more...something in it.

it had been a few months of this; they took turns streaming games for each other as a way to chat and hang out and over the course of their time doing it roach had found himself feeling more and more...something for ghost. he'd never had such a strong feeling about anyone before, nothing even close; he'd never felt so happy and calm and content to just listen to someone before.

ghosts accent was unique to his american ears, something he wasnt used to but that he enjoyed enormously. something lilting and calm and just distinctly ghost that made him smile every time the call connected and ghost said "hey bug." the gentle inflection, the sweet nickname, all of it just very...as much as roach felt flutters in his stomach admitting it (even in his own mind), it was just theirs.

presently ghost chuckled at the freely given compliment. "i love that you like to listen to me."

they always did it like this; a voice call for roach to listen to ghost when he streamed, and a video stream with chat when roach played survival horror for ghost. roach relied on sign and expressions/body language to convey his moods/reactions, and while ghost was still trying to pick up on some of the ASL roach frequently used (like 'why' and 'do not want') he hoped that ghost appreciated being able to see him.

ghost had told him early on that video calls made him feel a little awkward and that's why he just preferred voice, and even though he couldn't talk back roach was happy to do it this way. their way. more than anything he wanted ghost to feel comfortable and was ever grateful that he got to listen to him at all.

he smiled and cuddled his blåhaj closer, propping himself up against the wall behind his bed to try and stay awake. something about listening to ghost narrate what he was doing while he walked around his farm or the caves or even just stood and fished, wanting to get every single type of fish possible, made him feel so content and calm and frankly, safe. he felt embarrassed to even have the thought, but sometimes when he closed his eyes while ghost was talking he wondered if that was what it would feel like to have ghost really sitting next to him, talking to him close while he played maybe on a switch or on his laptop. he wondered if ghost would want them to sit close enough to be touching softly, maybe their legs pressed up against each otherwhile roach sleepily enjoyed his narrations.

"do you think i should bother with more chickens? or maybe more ducks? i like having the extra mayo for sale," ghost was musing out loud.

"hmmm," roach hummed thoughtfully. i'd go for a few more ducks as long as the hay to feed them isnt too expensive, he typed into their chat. they're cute and i love how you named them all after sanrio characters. you could call the next one tuxedo sam.

"true, kuromi the void duck was the last one i got, and that was a while ago," ghost considered. "and that big blue penguin is damn cute."

roach smiled. he loved ghost's fixation on sanrio characters, finding it as endearing as he was realizing he found just about everything else about ghost.

"are you sure you're not too tired?" ghost asked one more time. "its almost the end of the in game day and my save isn't going anywhere."

roach bit his lip. one more day? he asked. then i should probably go to sleep; its almost 1am here.

ghost chuckled over the call. "alright," he agreed. "one more day."

[snootlestheangel]

Hear Me Out

Guys, just, hear me out: YouTubers/Streamers AU for COD. There was a series of posts on @cod-dump 's blog about what games are banned for the boys and I've just been thinking about this but with Ghost, Gaz, Soap, and Alex where one of them is the actual streamer/gamer dude and the others just almost always play with him (maybe Roach if we went on the path that he's not actually mute, just kinda hates talking)

Retired or discharged for whatever reasons, the 141 are actually kinda happy to be living semi-normal lives. Maybe they're not all entirely civilian now, maybe Price has a position that doesn't require him to be on the field but he's still teaching/being a Captain.

But he's constantly telling the boys to find things to do to keep themselves happy. Especially Gaz and Soap, cause the military is kind of all they know, they've never had to be civilians really as adults.

Ghost is transitioning fine, and he's been a huge help for Soap, but Gaz is still kinda struggling. Eventually something happens and Alex is part of his life, but it's still not really what Gaz needs to feel "normal".

So Soap and Alex convince Gaz to start streaming/recording videos of their gaming sessions. It's a slow start, and Gaz is getting frustrated.

Until one time they play something silly but incredibly rage-inducing. It's a trending game because it's designed to pit you against your friends but is still silly nonetheless. There's one clip in particular that starts trending and becomes the reason Gaz's channel starts to take off.

The clip? Gaz yelling at Soap for something and Soap immediately just cursing him out in straight Scots only for Alex, an American, to scream into his mic as loud as humanly possible "WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER?!?!" after having been dead silent for the last 2 minutes. Why did he scream this? Not because of Soap's Scots, but because he had secretly just won the round after having lost the entire time they'd been playing.

People eat that shit up! Suddenly everyone's like "damn there's this hella attractive dude that records gameplay with his friends and they're all really funny." Everyone falls in love with Gaz's appearance first, but then they actually hear him and his friends interact and it's just trading insults and stupid jokes, acting like there's no one watching and they're suddenly kids again.

It eventually comes out that Gaz and his friends are all veterans, and despite the air around military not being the best, there's no denying that caring for veterans is a must. People slowly start to support Gaz's channel/streams, and before he knows it, he's actually got quite the following. His whole thing is about "wanting to do something to distract himself and others from the shitty aspects of life with a few laughs and some good games"

Eventually they convince Ghost to start gaming with them. It makes Gaz's popularity grow because now there's this really deep accent in the mix that's completely clueless as to what he's doing like 90% of the time (I just have this gut feeling that '22 Ghost is so fucking awful at video games) that they refer to simply as "Ghost". Suddenly, the chaos Gaz and his friends are known for increases tenfold. Ghost is flirting with all of them, Soap is arguing with him over literal couple things that come with living together, and there's a new element of really dark humor that wasn't there before (there was dark humor, just not this dark)

They're playing The Backrooms one time. They're not even in the game yet, just in the lobby. Gaz is laughing at Alex's tag for the game "MYLEG!" which is a reference to that one fish in Spongebob always yelling "my leg!" after an incident. Gaz is laughing too hard to actually explain to his viewers that, yes, Alex is an amputee. Soap starts making fun of him, as usual, and that's when it happens.

Alex: "I'll take my leg off and hit you with it, Soap, I swear to god." Soap: "I forgot you were already missing one for a second there and got real concerned." Alex: "No, Soap, I planned on removing my other leg. The one that's still attached, yeah. Just like a lil *pop noise*, ya know?" Gaz: *wheezing so hard he almost throws up*

Then they're playing this silly monster/cryptid hunter game called "A Day Out" and there's skeletons every now and then on the map. Gaz walks up to one and just starts freaking out, saying Ghost's name over and over.

Ghost, freaked out: What?? Gaz, pointing at the skeleton: Look, it's you! *cackling* Ghost, after a concerning long pause: *quietly* Nah, I'm not gonna say that Alex: SAY IT COWARD Ghost: No, that's my brother *Gaz making the most horrified face as he tries not to laugh* *Alex and Soap are losing their shit* Gaz: NAH THAT'S NOT OKAY

That clip posts and the internet looses it. I see this being the actual first video Ghost is in, so for this to be the first thing the viewers get of him, it's safe to say he's a hit. It's also never explained that Ghost does have a deceased brother, so there's just an acceptance of Ghost's skeleton brother.

There's several times where they've all gotten together and played silly games like Mario Kart when there's a bunch of them. There's the sober one and there's the drunk one, where there's so many different languages being hurled as curses at each other, Gaz gives up on captioning ANY of it.

OOOOooooooooohhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! WHAT IF! Roach becomes his editor once he gets popular enough so he can spend more time playing games, solo ones when the others are working.

For a while, everyone's going crazy wanting to see what the others all look like, and sometimes (cause we're assuming the world they live in now during all this is a lot better), they're joined by Rudy or Alejandro, or both in one rare instance. Sometimes, for old times's sake, during the drunk gaming sessions, they'll call Laswell only for her to scold them. There are times they'll bully Roach who always, as the editor, changes their words from the insults to compliments. Or he definitely trolls Gaz a lot with some of the editing, and it's all around just a good time. Hence why everyone wants to know what they look like.

Then it's around the holidays after about 2 and a half years of Gaz's channel being as popular as it is. He posts a single picture on his socials with a group of people and the caption: "Love seeing the boys over the holidays."

It's such a nice photo; Alex with an arm wrapped around Gaz's shoulders, Soap and Ghost on his other side with Roach between Soap and Gaz.

And the internet has once again gone crazy. Why? Cause not only are these dudes fucking hilarious, but they're hot and taken.

Except, as they all end up teasing him about, Roach is very much still single XD

I have been watching too much YouTube lately, can y'all tell?? Haha anyways back to my hole I shall crawl

[cod-dump]

Soap is everyone's partner best friend and it drives people and because he's super clingy about it. There's no place for Price to sleep in his own bed because Soap took his place between Nik and Phil and they let him because "he was tired and sad". Gaz came back from a mission and thought he will spend time with Roach but he can' t because Soap's already laying head on his lap, talking about whatever bullshit they're at now and Roach seems content enough about it. Laswell threatened to take every single phone in a base to her office because she can't ever call her wife because Soap's always on a phone with her with new rumors. Alejandro has to actually wait for his turns to dance with Rudy whenever Soap's around because he Rudy lets Soap steal him with a smile.

Price was starting to wish Soap and Graves never made up considering how the sergeant was always with him or Nik when Price had free time. He just wanted to relax with his boyfriend and husband but Soap was already wedged between them, a movie playing. Price had to wait for the movie to end just so he could cuddle his partners since Soap refused to leave without finishing the movie.

Gaz didn't think Soap hanging out with Roach was a problem until he came back to base after a long mission. He just finished debriefing everything that happened, showered and ate, and he just wanted to spend time with his boyfriend... Which he didn't get to do because Soap and Roach were reading some comics together. Gaz went to bed annoyed and frankly upset he didn't get to spend time with Roach after missing him for months.

Laswell originally had no issues with any of her boys having Annie's phone number. She was 'Homey Mom', which countered Laswell's 'Stern Mom'. But she started having a problem when never seemed to be able to talk to her wife while away from home because Soap was always on the damn phone with her. Laswell had so many messages from Annie telling her she was already on the phone with Johnny and couldn't talk at the moment.

Alejandro was already pretty touchy and generally jealous over Rudy. That was his amazing husband, his soulmate, the light of his existence, and fucking Soap was stealing all his attention! Alejandro was fuming when he saw them dancing at the bar, Rudy laughing as Soap twirled him around. Took a few Los Vaqueros to keep him from doing anything that he would've regretted.

It annoyed them all, bothered a couple. It was Alejandro who found a solution to it, being beyond angry with Soap for stealing all his husband’s attention. Soap had held Rudy’s hand for the last time because Alejandro went on the offensive.

As Soap leaned against Rudy, too close for Alejandro’s comfort, he would notice Ghost walk into the room. He sat up straight and went to call out to him, but then Alejandro swooped in from behind and wrapped his arms Ghost’s waist, resting his head on the man’s shoulder and grinning broadly. Soap just stared as Ghost and Alejandro talked. Everyone noticed Soap’s reaction, so, they naturally followed Alejandro’s lead.

And now Soap get almost no time with Ghost.

“Sorry, Johnny, Captain wants to go out drinking. No, you can’t tag along, it’s a high end club and he didn’t call ahead with a third wheel in mind.”

“Busy, Johnny. Kyle and I are going on a hike. You and Roach were suppose to go to that movie, why are you asking?"

“Laswell needs me for a few hours. Oh, you’ve been talking on the phone all day, you won’t even miss me.”

“No, I can’t. Alejandro is taking me out to eat. Some, what did he call it, five star restaurant? Supposedly good food but it’s expensive. I’m not missing out on that!”

Soap was finally getting a taste of his own medicine. And, unfortunately for him, Ghost was all too happy to go along with everyone’s plans. While he wasn’t bothered by Soap’s closeness with the others, he would prefer his boyfriend’s attention on him.