#Therefore every sad or scary thing I ever do is not only sad or scary; but absolutely horrific gut-wrenching and almost traumatizing

[sluttish-armchair]

I just drew the most tragic thing I’ve ever drawn in my life

[caspalooza]

It sounds dramatic, but growing up, I agonized over the fact that I was repulsed by sex. I thought I wanted to be in a relationship but that it wouldn't be possible (or at the very least, not fair to the other person) to be in one without sex in it. I was convinced that romance is The Thing That Completes You, so I thought my options were "deal with sex against my will" or "be alone forever".

When I finally learned the term "asexuality"... well, I didn't really grasp the concept of attraction types, so I pretty much went, "man, I WISH I was asexual, instead there's just something wrong with me" and carried on.

I think I was nearing 17 when I finally decided to look into asexuality for longer than 5 minutes, mostly out of sheer desperation. I had vaguely known that sexual attraction and romantic attraction were separate terms, but I had always thought of sexual attraction as being a hyperbolic term for romantic attraction. And that sexual attraction only actually existed in movies and books and the like for dramatic effect or comedy. I don't remember what made it click, but when it hit me that it was fucking REAL and that most of the people around me had been experiencing it for a LONG TIME I finally felt that moment that I guess every person has at some point in their life of lost innocence. At SIXTEEN. LOL.

It is undoubtedly funny, but it was also scary. Over my life I had experienced things and acted in ways I thought were fine and normal, purely because I was straight up clueless about sexual attraction. It was never taught to me in any form because I guess there's an assumption everybody experiences it and therefore knows for themselves what it's like. So while there was a feeling of elation, I guess, because I wasn't alone and I wasn't broken, there was also a lot of horror and disgust that came with it because a lot of memories from my life were being dug up and put in this new context in a very not good way. And I can be more careful now, but dear lord what I would give to have been taught these things way, way sooner.

The romantic side is a nightmare in a different way. Ages ago, I developed a pretty silly-sounding fear that I secretly had crushes on all the people I met (and/or worse, that they reciprocated) that still won't go away no matter how hard I ignore the voices! That's paranoia for you, I guess. So it's hard to know for sure if I actually have a crush on somebody or if it's just the paranoia, but I think the fact that I know how it feels means I probably have, at least once, even if the thought of actually acting on romantic feelings sounds like the worst thing ever. I used to be really big into the idea of it, though, that's for sure. For years, I lived vicariously through my hundreds of fandom and oc ships. And I do still love exploring romantic relationship dynamics through fiction, but now it's more because I think The Inner-Workings of People and Relationships Are Fascinating than because I have any desire to live it for myself.

At the very least, the realization that I was ace and potentially aro helped me to pull myself out of my sad pit. And though I've never been super involved with the aspec community (out of shyness), If nothing else I credit all the lovely people in it for indirectly teaching me how important and fulfilling friendships and platonic bonds of all kinds can be. And that platonic/romantic/etc. love and attraction shouldn't be tiered as more or less important or fulfilling than one another, just different. It seems like a simple and obvious concept to me now, but it genuinely changed my outlook on life when I was first exposed to it.

Looking back at the things I actually wanted (and didn't want) out of my hypothetical "perfect romantic relationship" (no romantic gestures, just cuddling lol) I realized I pretty much only ever wanted an affectionate, possibly committed friendship (something like a qpr) and only assumed it was romance because... well, everybody is supposed to want romance! And seeing as my early friends and family weren't super affectionate people, it was pretty easy for me to believe that physical affection only came from a romantic partner.

All in all though, I've realized that, at least for me, it's not super helpful to think of different relationship types as strict categories or boxes. Humans are just more complex than that. And It's kinda ironic that the same community that often faces the "loveless" stereotype is the same one that opened my eyes to the fact that there are so, so many ways to experience profound and fulfilling love. And I think that's beautiful!!!!! HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!!

[raybug-theradfem]

CONTENT WARNING

Mentions of miscarriage, possible financial abuse, religion in places it shouldn’t be, maternal mortality.

I see the way most men parent and I think “why would you pressure your wife/girlfriend into having kids that you’re going to ignore?” The more time I’ve spent in the family dynamic of my mother’s boyfriend, it is being made very clear that in his head, women are just here to make children. He has about 6-7 children (I do not know because I have yet to meet them all) and he just gives money. His children come over and yet it is my mother, his eldest daughter or me, who is made responsible for the younger boys while he goes to work or soccer. Not only do I believe dynamics like these are because of the patriarchy/misogyny but I also believe they are a result of capitalism (in all of its stages) and affect the health and wellbeing of women negatively.

Most men see women as a vessel for children. This has been made clear by both my observations of individual heterosexual relationships and my knowledge of women’s access to contraceptives or abortion in North America. On the topic of the heterosexual relationships that I have witnessed, I will use the ones I am around most often, my grandparents and my mother and her boyfriend. My grandparents had their children in the eighties, my grandmother was a stay at home mom and my grandpa went out and made money. At the time of having her first child, she had no access to contraception (or no knowledge of it ) and no access to safe abortion. Therefore, the only answer was to get married. She had four daughters and an angel baby. After the loss, she had her tubes tied. While raising her family she had no say in where they lived or what her husband did with the money, she just had to be a homemaker. Obviously, this was normal for her culture and time but looking at it through a modern lens, it is a sad and lonely life. My mother’s boyfriend does something similar. He isolates her. They only go out with his friends or do what he wants. They live in a bachelor style basement apartment. She was on birth control that was causing major health issues and instead of him wearing a condom and her stopping it, she decided to keep it on (birth control patch) and suffer silently. She still got pregnant despite the patch and he said she had to keep it. She had no say in what to do with her own body or life. She was trapped, not having the financial resources to leave. After Christmas, she lost the babies to which he said something like: “just pray, it’s in God’s hands” because he somehow believed that would bring back the already decomposing fetuses. Not only was this a traumatic experience for my mom but around the same time her dad almost died and her boyfriend was the biggest burden in trying to go see him or do anything for my grandmother.

Parenting for a lot of men, especially in modern times involves either being the parent to punish children (the scary parent) or just giving money. There doesn’t seem to be an emotional aspect. In recent years there’s been an ever more common “baby mama” dynamic in families, it has always existed but it just seems to be more prevalent now. Men will have children with a woman, sometimes children she doesn’t even want and leave her for another woman and do the same thing repeatedly until they either kick the bucket or get married and ultimately cheat on their wife. This is incredibly toxic for everyone involved. These men then go on to have booming careers and everything they want in life while the woman is stuck taking care of his kid(s) that he sees for at most five days a month. On the days they do have their kids they will do the absolute most, post about it on social media and get praise from their friends but behind closed doors tell their children “I only have to love you every two weeks!”. I am giving this opinion from two perspectives, the child and the observer. In the position of the child, it is magical when you’re younger because you get to have a sleepover at daddy’s apartment and eat candy and go to the arcade but as you get older you hear what your parents say about each other and you feel like a burden to both. From the side of the observer, I see that the kids don’t get to actually bond with their father or have a second parental figure most of the time. He is more so viewed like how you would view an uncle or cousin than a father. There is no possible way for you to have more than 3 kids with different mothers and give them all equal opportunities and attention.

Dynamics like these are the result of the patriarchy and capitalism. “In a patriarchal society, women are excluded from fully participating in political and economic life” (simply psychology). This point is made especially true for women with children. With the baby mama dynamic, the woman is giving all her financial resources to raising the child and the man is giving a set amount per month which is barely enough to feed the child most times. Women are already paid less than men in North America and other parts of the world but now add being the sole provider for children that you originally didn’t want and were pressured into having. The average cost of raising a child up to 18 in Canada is $293,000, that is almost $300k that could have been spent on education, housing, retirement, etc. In “traditional” dynamics, the man is the breadwinner and the woman stays home to raise the children. The woman has no work experience or money of her own which in the event of an emergency gives her a huge disadvantage. Furthermore, these issues go hand in hand with capitalism because patriarchy and capitalism go hand in hand. Both are built under the traditional model of men going to work and women staying home. But what about now? Nowadays, women have to go to work and then come home to do more, now unpaid, labour. While men get to come home from work, relax, play video games and participate in other hobbies, women come home to cook dinner, help the kids with homework, clean the house, etc. In this dynamic, the woman is exploited entirely for her body and labour, by both her boss and her husband/boyfriend. Many women feel that their male partner does not equally contribute to responsibilities in the home (American Psychological Association).

Finally all of these things combined negatively affect the health of women. Women risk their health with every pregnancy and birth. Many complications can arise that are so much more common than people think. In Canada 3-20% of women develop gestational diabetes (Diabetes Canada). The USA has a scary maternal mortality of 32.5 for every 100,000 births according to the CDC (all age groups included but the older, the higher the risk). This informal essay was not meant to discourage having children but to inform anyone reading the effects of having children that aren’t always talked about.

https://www.simplypsychology.org/patriarchal-society-feminism-definition.html#:~:text=In%20a%20patriarchal%20society%2C%20women,home%20(Nash%2C%202009).

[jailforwriter]

Alright, let's tackle this...

So, here's the thing. This piece of advice is my nemesis. This piece of advice has led me down many a dark road, full of bloated and unnecessary descriptions of gestures and expressions and people sighing so much their lungs should've rightly collapsed. And it's not because it's bad advice per se – in fact, it can be, dare I say...really good? Only sometimes, though. It's a bit complicated, so let's get into it!

"Show, don't tell" is fantastic for new writers. It's shorthand for "you're not reciting a textbook on new and exciting synonyms for the word 'sad'." And it's absolutely true – you should, ideally, delve a bit deeper than that. Firstly, let's look at what it's good for:

Experience and connection: a vivid description of the pinks and purples of dusk, "as though flower petals scattered across a starry pond", is certainly more effective at evoking emotion than just saying that the sunset was pretty. Chances are the reader has seen a sunset like that at some point and can therefore extrapolate some emotion from the awe they felt in that moment. And if nothing else, it'll engage their senses enough for them to paint a pretty mental picture, which puts the reader in the driving seat for a bit. Hopefully they weren't falling asleep, but hey, it happens, so make 'em work a bit!

Immersive and dynamic: look, if you tell me that the monster's gaping maw – full of jagged, razor-sharp teeth filed to bloody points – snapped closer to your protagonist's face, wafting a rotten, coppery stench into their eyes that made them water, I will 100% feel more uncomfortable than if you told me that the monster was scary and wanted a snack. This technique can be particularly effective when it comes to building tension and the emotions that come with it, as it can foster a sort of chumminess between the reader and the character (not ideal when a monster's about to get them, but we made the reader care, so...checkmate).

Avoids exposition: ah, yes. The dreaded "e" word, only minutely edged out by the word "exam", capable of evoking the kind of budding horror that we as writers have to work hard to get across on-page. Basically, since you aren't just relying information like rattling off a shopping list, you're going to retain the reader's attention more efficiently and, hopefully, be more mindful about what does and doesn't need to be on the page. Listen, I hate this just as much as you do, but rambling will kill the narrative mega-dead.

"But Tumblr user jailforwriter," I hear you say, "doesn't that mean that 'show, don't tell' is actually really good?"

Yes. Kinda. Again, complicated. For now, let's look at the other side of the coin: the reasons why this piece of otherwise fantastic advice can be misconstrued and completely wreck your shit.

Oops, All Description: look at you! You got so good at description and implication that, instead of plainly conveying that a tertiary character with no long-lasting impact on the plot is a snake-handler, you now have three pages of this dude buying frozen mice at the pet store and treating all the bite marks on his arms. And yes, that can be fantastic – when it's relevant. Otherwise, it'll read like filler and drag the pacing through the mud. It takes a little bit of discernment to figure out when all that detail is important and when just saying "he handled snakes" suffices, but that's part of the process, babey 😎. (Don't despair, though. As we continue to demystify it, it'll become clearer, I promise!).

Vagueness and confusion: you know your story. I know you know your story. You know every little detail inside out and how it impacts the plot. Unfortunately, 100% of readers are not, in fact, you, dear reader. Aside from the cruel reality that I cannot body-swap with someone who owns a cat whenever I want, the other main issue with this is that we may not be expressing what we think we're expressing, pretty much ever. When we over-describe and avoid stating things plainly as a rule, the reader will have to interpret a whole lot of stuff, which can get to be too vague and confusing when they, through no fault of their own, arrive at the Wrong Place. And I'm pro-girlboss gaslighting in books, absolutely, but only when it's narratively resonant and not an accident (lol).

Length and lack of variety: AKA "shucks, I've already described the sun as everything from a painting to a bruise twenty times, what now? Ah, I know! Unnecessarily lengthy and contrived metaphors!". Nope. Not the way to go, my guy. We've all shoehorned our fair share of metaphors in places they oughtn't be (don't lie to me, I'm under your bed) but chances are, if it's happening too often, it's time to include some plain ol' telling the reader what's UP. It'll shake up the prose, too, which again, might just wake them up a bit.

So, yep. You know what's up. It's that "balance and moderation" stuff your parents failed at drilling into you, but that you nonetheless learned after getting a tummy ache from eating a whole family-sized bag of M&M'S at 3 A.M. (As an aside, experience is the best teacher, particularly when the experience in question sucked ass, so there's another reason to make your readers experience emotion rather than telling them how to feel!).

To conclude: "show, don't tell" is a matter of perspective and discernment, which yes, is a copout, but to that I say: how dare you say something with the word "cop" in it to me? Yuck ew.

Happy writing!

[tarnussy]

Bit of a DIY year in review from your resident Stormveil dweller here. Soon-to-be Elden Lord for the first time.

No Steam review from me with that questionable toxic relationship line everyone is getting, but here is my year in review regardless. I am only posting this for myself mainly.

I have also shown these at some point this year (with less hours), so no changes in characters, just my self-insert Tarnished and Godrick. I nearly opened this game every day with a few exceptions since I first played it in February (honorable mention to being utterly smitten with it since release, even though I couldn't play it at the time for a whole year).

My main and first gameplay is the one with over 500 hours, and yes, I still have not finished my first playthrough. I am on Elden Beast though, and I know I want to gif parts of it because I'm doing a DIY Age of Grafting with everyone essentially being dead except Godrick (plus Rannald sitting underground forever, good for her).

I also don't know what outfit to wear for the final cutscene that would make sense for the ending I'm doing, I have a lot of contenders. Plus I am in no rush, I play this game to be immersed in it, to collect my little plants and to loot the same areas over and over while taking my little grafted silly guy with me - and Godrick's summon made this game 500x better, even though it was already my favourite before that.

I have multiple playthroughs because I like to be able to access every single area and boss in case I decide to make a gifset or post, without having to spend hours to fight my way across the map to a boss I wanna gif but already fought. Therefore, Rivers of Blood my beloved, it is a gifmaker's / virtual photographer's best friend if you want to clear out an area fast for footage. Makes me sad how I feel anxious even to include it in posts bc I know how hard people tend to go off on players who use it, even if you play offline.

Other favourites are: Meteoric Ore blade, Crystal sword, Lordsworn Straight sword, St. Trina's sword, Eleonora's poleblade. None of these were tainted by gamerbros (unlike RoB and Moonveil), I went in absolutely blind when it came to weapons and I used what I genuinely liked and like to this day. My fav kind of magic is gravity magic.

One thing I am sad about is the gameplay timer, and the fact that it stops at 999 hours played. That will probably be the only thing that will stop me from continuing my very first playthrough on my main character. I must track the playtime at all times. We'll see.

Oh I guess it won't hurt if I mention that ER is my first Souls game, and it was nowhere near as hard and scary as people tend to tell that to new players. It was fine, save for late game areas. But I guess it also helped that I came to open world fantasy games from survival horror games, so getting my ass kicked was just normal. Now of course I'm so used to the keyboard settings on this game that I can't even go back to other games like TW3 at the moment because my brain just can't comprehend it. I constantly want to double jump with the horse in other games.

Yeah I could go on for hours just talking about what comes to mind, but that is enough I believe. Favourite game. Thank you Godrick for terrorizing my Souls-virgin ass with your cutscene when I had no context or idea about anything at all. Seeing your cutscene and fight made me say it out loud that I'll never play this game and that I didn't see the appeal. Biggest clown shit I've ever said in my life, look at me now 🤡 I'm running out of face paint.

[unsaidcurses]

can you please write smth with reader comforting marcus and being his support system after todays shit show.

i rly need it, i just want to forget todays race happened 😭😭😭

you don't have to go through this alone// m.a.

summary: marcus needs some comforting after monza and you're there to be his support system

pairing: marcus armstrong × reader

wordcount: 2.7k

warning: angst, graphic description of a breakdown, monza weekend (it's a tw itself basically), tiny bit of cursing 

a/n: i swear he's cursed or it doesn't make sense + probably he can pass the curse because tumblr deleted half of this and I had to rewrite :D anyways, is this more dramatic and cheesy than it should have? yes do i care? not particularly

the “delete” button doesn’t exist in real life, right? because if it did, you would certainly have pressed it by now, for marcus’ sake.

it was monza weekend and you accompanied marcus. thank god you did because it had been a real shit couple of races for him, and just the thought of leave him alone dealing with them destroyed you.

he qualified pretty well, to be honest, ending p3, which meant he would start in decent positions both in the sprint and feature race.

it looked so good on friday, you were confident about it.

saturday came and the sprint race with it. you were watching in from the motorhome, nervousness eating you alive as you looked at him overtaking some cars. nothing too bad happened. but then the last three laps arrived and when jack and liam started pushing him for sixth place, marcus had little choice but to skip across the run-off area, keeping his position. you didn’t think much of it, since your main concern was to see him on the track and not in the wall, and you just continued watching the cars speeding around.

when he crossed the line, you were content and satisfied. he finished p6 gaining one position from where he started, which meant a couple of point to bring home. at some point you heard the commentators saying that someone got a 5 second penalty, therefore out of curiosity you asked a mechanics who got it, and your face dropped hearing his answer.

“it’s marcus. he went off track and gained advantage. 5 seconds will bring him back to tenth.”

you tried to rub off your sad expression when you saw him coming closer to the garage. you didn't know if he was aware of the penalty and you didn't want to worry or scary him off in case nobody told him yet.

you kept your eyes on him all the time, from when he spoke to his race engineer, who you assumed announced him what happened, to when he went patting every mechanics’ shoulders murmuring small apologies for his mistake. after he was done, he made his way towards the back of the motorhome, close to his driver room, where he knew you always awaited him.

he stood there in front of you with a disappointed expression on his face. the only thing you thought of doing in that moment was to circle his body with your arms, trying to comfort him a bit, to which he responded just with sliding one hand on the small of your back. it made you frown: he never hugged you like that, if you can even call that a hug.

“hey, hug me properly. you love my hugs.” you tried to cheer him up, looking up at him when you noticed how his eyes were fixed on the floor.

“i don’t love when i finish out of the points though.” the remark came out with a serious tone you hardly ever heard him use. you were almost scared that the usual “make jokes to lighten up the mood” wouldn’t work as it commonly did, so you gave one last try.

“and your hatred for bad races is bigger than your love for my hugs? is it so debilitating?”

“mh, i don’t know let me check.” he placed both arms around your shoulders, gently stroking them. although you couldn't see each other's faces, his action put a smile on both of them.

“i guess i love you a bit more.” he chuckled. you were glad he still had some optimism, after all the next day he would have a huge opportunity starting from second row.

“why don’t you go shower and then we can celebrate with felipe and have some fun?” you hinted at the championship winner, bringing marcus in his room by pulling his hand.

“of course, i’ll be back in a flash.”

-

sunday morning was a repeat of the previous day. in hitch's garage, watching your boyfriend's car race with headphones on, but starting from third today.

you were hopeful. marcus was determined to fight for the podium today, if not even for a win. he wanted to prove himself after the two awful years he had in f2 that he was meant to be there, that he was fast and talented, just extremely unlucky. you perfectly knew it was not an easy game, considering the two drivers who pressured him from the back yesterday were in front of him today, but a huge smile appeared on your face as you see jack in pole struggling when the lights went off, allowing the new zealander to overtake him on the inside.

not even five seconds since the race started and marcus was already in second place, not bad right? wrong. 

six laps later, felipe passed marcus right before a huge incident that caused the deployment of a safety car. he slipped into third again, but regained the position as soon as the track was clear.

after a couple of laps, another incident took place and similarly as before, it resulted in a safety car.

hitech wasn’t particularly famous for making the most efficient pit stops on the grid, especially when it came to marcus’ car, so you hoped they didn’t mess up everything when you saw a silver car pulling in the pit lane. little did you know you didn’t have to worry about the pit itself, but about the way he got in. everything happened too fast, you didn’t understand if the engineer called him late or if he didn’t brake in time, the point is that the boy entered beyond the entry bollard, which caused him a ten second stop and go penalty.

you pulled your hands to your mouth in disbelief. each time he qualified high enough to compete for big points, something had to happen. It’s not like you wish anything bad to any driver, but sometimes the question “why always him?” passed through your mind. did he do something horrible in his past life to deserve this? was he a serial killer? judas? it’s not possible he was so unfortunate all the time with no explanation.

seeing his car getting on track, you didn't have time to rationalize your last thought as a red graphic with his car's number appeared on the screen.

another stop and go penalty for speeding in the pit lane.

“you can’t be real!” you couldn’t contain your shout, removing the headphone from your head and walking away from your spot. it’s absurd to throw away a race in less than 500 meters, yet it happened and clearly marcus was the victim, who else otherwise?

you were disappointed, as the whole garage was, after all, but you knew that none of that compared to what marcus was feeling, and you felt the world breaking in your hands realizing how devastating that could be. he was so positive that morning, only to get it snatched from his hands.

continuing watching the race was so painful, looking at him trying to gain as much ground as he could, but with his gap, you could consider that a wild-goose chase. the only thing that prevented him from being last was liam, who lost a lot of time after being hit by juri.

the race felt interminable, but eventually the checked flag brought an end to this disaster. marcus rushed out of the car, did the bare minimum he had to do publicly without even removing his helmet, like weighting himself and giving an apology to the team, and then left for his room basically running

“marcus, it’s me, can i come in?” you walked to the door and knocked on it, waiting for an answer that never came. you stood there some seconds and tried to lower the handle and then you realized: he locked himself in. you acknowledged the fact that he didn’t want to see, nor be seen from anybody, not even you, which explains why he purposely avoided the side of the garage where you usually were.

so you just waited there, with your forehead resting on the cold material of the door, counting minutes passing and watching all the mechanics moving around and leaving.

you heard a faint click, but at first it didn’t sink it was the key on the other side twisting in the lock. it did only when the solid object that was sustaining you wasn’t anymore, and you almost fell on the ground. you looked up to your boyfriend who had a blank expression on his face.

“can we go get lunch? i’m exhausted, i just want to eat and go to our room.” you wanted to check up on him and ask him if he was okay but he beat you to it by talking first. his face shifted to a pleading look, so you did not insist and just nodded as you walked toward the restaurant he found the other day in front of the hospitality.

not a word left marcus’ mouth during the meal. he didn’t even order, he just mumbled “the same” after you asked the waiter some dishes. some of his friends were with you and he didn’t laugh at their jokes, sometimes he smiled slightly but nothing more.

you slid your hand on his thigh, his eyes left his plate to meet yours and softened immediately, then he moved and placed his head on your shoulder. seeing him like this made you feel so powerless, you at least hoped that the contact could give him some comfort.

the lunch carried on and shortly after he finished his dishes, marcus tugged at your hand still on his leg as an indication to leave, therefore you said goodbye to everybody and headed to your hotel room.

as soon as he entered the room, the driver laid down on the bed. you observed him from the main door with his back turned to you, curling up with his legs close to his chest as to shield his body from all the thing that happened to him in the previous hours and shut them out of his existence.

your heart clenched at the sight. you didn’t know what to do, how to act. looking at the person you love knowing that they’re hurt, that their world is crumbling under their feet and not being able to stop it and protect them, it’s a nightmare.

you stepped closer to the bed and sat on the edge, brushing his hair with your hand in a soothing way.

“are you sure you don’t want to talk about the race?” the question came out as a whisper, not wanting to break the bubble you were in even more than you already did by just talking.

“what do I have to say about it? It was a shit show!” he answered turning briefly towards you, showing his defeated look, returning to his original position after finishing the sentence with an harsh tone. “and we can’t change how things went, it’s useless wasting time on it. just drop it, okay?”

“marcus-“ you called him passing on the other side of the bed to look at his face. “you don’t have to go through this alone.”

this was the last straw of keeping it together. he didn’t want to complain or bother you but when he realized you just wanted him to decompress and share his thoughts with you, he finally opened up.

"i'm tired of putting so much effort in this sport and always being walked all over. when i have the pace, i don’t have a good pit stop. when i have a good pit stop, i don’t have the qualification. and when i have the qualification, i mess up everything anyway!” he ranted sitting up. his hands were moving in the air and his eyes were darting in every direction.

“the fda dropped me, and i will lose my seat in formula 2 the end of the year.” listening him reviewing every single bad event he went through was a stab in the heart, and you really wanted to stop him and disagree with him, but he was unravelling everything he bottled up not only for months but probably years at this point, so you waited in silence listening to him.

“i left home when i was a fucking kid, i didn’t see my siblings grow up, i gave up time with my family, i give up time with you!" his voice progressively increased, breaking at the end of it.

“all of these sacrifices to just get a slap in the face."

he almost started rambling again, but it was clear he couldn't continue. his head fell in his hands, and hot tears escaped his eyes. he didn’t even have the strength to try to stop it, he just let everything go.

you immediately pulled him as close as humanly possible, his head naturally went in the crook of your neck, muffling some of the sobs of despair that left his parted lips. you hold him tight, as a way to tell him that you were there and he was not alone.

imagine how long and how much he held off to explode like this, to end in such an agonizing cry. with a lump in your throat, you whispered sweet nothings to his ear, hoping it would calm him down, and with some swinging back and forth, it did. after a good amount of time, his breath steadied, except for some hiccups sometimes. 

there weren’t big words of comfort you could offer him, after unfolding years of frustration and disappointment. you just wanted to make him realize that the majority of the things he said were none of his fault and that he deserved his place. 

“i’m so sorry you have to deal with all of this. I wish I had a magic wand to make all of this go away,” you let your hand wander through his hair, moving his head to look him in eyes. you meant every word, and you wanted to be sure he understood that. “but I do have time to listen. always. please don’t ever keep all of this to yourself, okay? you’re my boyfriend and best friend, helping you in any way I can is my top priority. we go through things together, and will work them out.”

the grey eyes turned teary once more, but from happiness this time. your words made him feel so supported and loved, he couldn’t find a better way to show you his gratitude than hugging you back, holding on to dear life, with your legs tangled together.

minutes passed and you slowly moved backwards, till you completely laid down on the mattress, marcus using your chest as a pillow while being wrapped safely around your arms as if you were the only thing who could protect him from all the atrocities the world may hold.

“i’m booking a flight for christchurch, okay? we can’t do much about the past, but you have ten free weeks ahead before the next race. spending some time with your family surely won’t hurt.” after meditating about how you could actively help him, you broke the silence.

“are you coming too, right?” he asked in a tiny voice, doubting you would let him down like the whole feeder series world did.

“of course, if you want me to.” you pulled the blanket over your bodies. “why don’t you rest a bit now, mh? you really need and deserve that.”

you felt him nodding subtly, a small yawn following. it wasn’t just for the play when he said he was exhausted, at the end of the day he still had an eventful feature race in the morning.

as you glanced at his face while caressing it continuously, you were met with a peaceful expression, finally. you let your cheek fall on the top of his head, letting your body relax at the thought of him sleeping.

except for the fact that he was still awake.

“thank you. for being my support system and choosing to be by my side every day. I couldn’t ask for anything better honestly. I love you.” 

it was unusual for him to make this kind of confessions, wearing his heart on his sleeves, spilling what he felt deeply, but if he didn’t say it today, when was he supposed to?

“i love you too marcus. dearly.”

and with that you both doze off, with the awareness that you were there for each other no matter what, through thick and thin, whatever your lives offered you.

[loveisalwaystheanswer]

I always have mixed feelings about Lizzie in S3 to S6. Imagine to live in the house of your husband who still would not remove the pictures of Grace in the house. On one hand, I do feel it is cruel for Tommy to do to Lizzie but on the other hand, why should he remove the pictures when he makes it clear that he did not love her?

Oh man, it will be hard to separate the plot from my opinion about SK's writing. In s3 he had tied every character of the story and the plot itself to the rails. And after that moment everything went down. But we aren't here to talk about SK's ability to write. Let's go back to the main track.

I absolutely agree with you, anon. It must be very creepy for Lizzie to walk past the portrait of Grace every night and let's keep in mind that she's depicted as a haughty ex-wife with accusing eyes rather than a kind woman. Brrr! This gives me the vibes of Rebecca (2020) movie. Pretty scary.

Tommy is an asshole very selfish and emotionally disabled person who doesn't think about people's feelings. He doesn't even think about his own feelings, so why would he care about someone else's? Yes, he doesn't owe Lizzie anything and never hid the truth from her, and he didn't bother himself to put that portrait away but it would be the least he could do to make Grace's presence in the house less palpable (re-read it and realised why he hadn't removed it 😅). And it would be a compromise because he has the photographs of Grace. But they're living lived in a mausoleum. It's soooo far from being normal but Tommy isn't 'normal', yeah?

What about Lizzie... Talking about her in times like these is like walking a tightrope but I will try. And before I start we need to clear some things out:

I do like Lizzie. I don't like her WITH Tommy and I don't approve some of her actions.

I like she's not saint therefore she's not one-dimensional and she's an interesting character.

I DO NOT justify Tommy who's cheating on her. It's not her fault and she's not responsible for this shit.

But she's responsible for sleeping with him, marrying him, staying with him and letting herself being treated like that.

I was enjoying to see how she was trying to get out of her past lifestyle, doing a correspondence course, working hard to make her way in life because she knew she's on her own and no one will save her. She was INDEPENDENT (as far as it was possible in those days).

My feelings about Lizzie has been shuffling since s3. I liked her completely before it and this season became a turning point in my opinion about her. 'Actually I'm sleeping with Tommy, now and then. Because he wants to [...] Except we don't sleep. It's hard to sleep bent over a desk. Isn't it?' I mean, wtf was that? She has a good job now. WHY does she need to agree to sleep with him again? Not to mention her lover died because of the Shelbys. She is too loyal sometimes. We didn't see her being sad about his death. Whether she didn't love that Angel and was only boasting of her love or she simply couldn't say 'no' to Tommy, like... ever. Both options aren't good. And she kept doing the same thing in s4. And she agreed to marry Tommy being fully aware of his inability to love her the way she wants him to. Is this fair to her? No. I do feel sorry for Lizzie, a little. Because like she said 'I chose this life, it didn't choose me.' People keep saying that she's the one who really knew him. She chose to marry Tommy, so she knew what to expect, didn't she? Also, she was the one who tried to change him, she wanted to see him being in love with her for so many years. Completely refusing to believe that he doesn't care about her and he isn't happy to know about the baby. Lizzie didn't leave him, she tolerated all his affairs with another women, she hoped for a better life, she lived in delusion. In my personal opinion Lizzie married Tommy not only because of her feelings for him but also because of the benefits it could bring. She was enjoying being at the top, walking in expensive dresses and attending the parties, she loves diamonds as well. I mean, who wouldn't? She's a very pragmatic woman but the sentiments had gotten the better of her and in the end it made her suffer. The marriage became her golden cage. I'd risk to say I always thought she had a very tough childhood so that her co-dependent behavior is rooted in her past. It would explain a lot. I deeply sympathize with her loss of Ruby ("No parent should have to bury their child"). And it's so sad that Lizzie needed such a horrible situation to realize how lonely and unhappy she is in this marriage and the whole relationship with Tommy is a lost cause. She, seeking solace in the company of horses and not her husband, it's a heart-wrenching moment. It'd be interesting to notice that she's never Tommy's first choice but she accepts it.

Btw, since you're asking me about Liz I want to take this opportunity to say out loud how MAD I was at her in 6.01 episode! Mocking a person who just had a failed suicide attempt?? Leaving him alone? Humiliating him? Blaming him? Glorifying your domination? At this moment? Really? It was sooooo low! Actually, I even googled how to treat someone who tried to commit a suicide. And what Lizzie did is the opposite of what you really should be doing when you face a situation like this. Don't get me wrong, I'm far from being the first in a long queue of people who want to defend Thomas Shelby but even I think that this move was awful. And it wasn't discussed in the show. Also, she told Charlie about why she's leaving his father. It was not right too. Children should be out of any conflict between parents. And I hope she will be THE parent to Charlie and won't project her feelings for Ruby onto him. It's a side note, but my heart hurts for little Charlie, because he cannot hold on to any of his parents.

To sum it all up, I breathed a sigh of relief when she finally decided to leave Tommy. It was the only right thing to do. I said it before, I can't watch interactions between married Tommy and Lizzie (due to my personal reasons) without feeling myself very uncomfortable. You know, we really accept the love we think we deserve, and it hurt me to see Lizzie being so spineless every time it came to Tommy. I have seen all these kind of situations happening in real life with people I care about. My heart ached with pity for all of them. But at the same time I was angry at them for being so pathetic and weak. As a feminist I hate SK for doing this to Liz, from an independent woman to Tommy's doormat. But I must admit this whole Lizzie-situation is very realistic and that's why so many women feel themselves related to her more than to any other female character in the show. I understand why women defend Lizzie so hard. That's why I wrote this. So many women in general silently accept any kind of abuse, romanticized it, hope that one day their partner will change. They're begging for love, they take the blame, play a supporting role in their own story, close their eyes to any disrespectful shitty behavior towards them. Well, maybe I'm melodramatic and take it so much to heart, then I'm glad if I'm mistaken about this matter. I stand up for women, fictional or not, I condemn misogyny and I deeply believe that we should apply the same standards of behavior to everyone, regardless of gender. In conclusion I really want someone to tell Steven Knight that men can have business with women without sleeping with them. Surprise!

Did it bring more clarity to how I feel about Lizzie? Nope. I got even more confused myself.

My dearest anon, I apologize for my long (that's one of the reasons why I don't get a lot of questions lmao) answer with feminism filling. I hope you got what you want or at least it was interesting to read.

And if it hurt somebody's feelings I'm very sorry for that and mentally I'm sending you my homemade muffin with any flavor you like. Boys of my acquaintance think I make the best muffins in the world and boys never lie about such things 🤗🤍

thank you

xx

[nebulous-tundra]

oh yeah that absolutely bothers me too, like Lauren DID write a character who has very obvious privilege and is seen multiple times using it and it's Sam, but we're not ever supposed to question that because she's Good and Always Uses It Good. and then she tries to draw all these parallels between Sam and Damien and their backstories which falls totally flat because Sam lost her parents to a car crash at 16 while being filthy fucking rich and therefore having a ton of societal support that allowed her to live comfortably and enabled her to essentially not leave her house (which allowed her to do the Good Pure Trauma Survivor thing of Avoiding People, something Damien actively could not do if he wanted to like. not die in a gutter of exposure and starvation), whereas Damien was deliberately abandoned by his parents much younger (making him a survivor of profound childhood neglect) and with nothing but his ability to survive with and absolutely no social or societal support whatsoever and these are completely fucking different situations that would obviously have different effects on people but also it just solidifies how much privilege Sam has and how we're just not supposed to think about that lmao

i exaggerate a lot of my disdain for Shippen's choices for TBS but i will straight up admit i hate the whole Good Victim horseshit. very often i will see depictions of trauma and grief and mental illness where the characters meant to portray those qualities are essentially sad chew toys that the audience can quietly 'awww' at, and any mention of poor reactions to said issues the character might have aren't mentioned because they're too 'ugly'. it shows a side of our humanity we don't like to think about, that we could have done nothing wrong, but because of something that happened in our past or in our brains, we can develop personality defects that make us cause others harm- even deliberately.

i think one aspect of why people hate on Damien so much is because he represents that, he -just like the vast majority of people- did what he thought best given his knowledge and circumstances, and he ended up making tons or enormous mistakes that hurt both himself and others. people like Shippen will insist that he just needs to 'try harder' to be a good person, but that's not really how that works. what is a good person? what does it mean to be a good person? how does one become 'good'? these are ideas that we develop throughout our childhood, with great guidance from our teachers and peers and parents. if your perception of reality is warped, if your guides are misspoken or absent, your concept of these ideas too will be misinformed, warped, or under-developed. it's scary to think that a person could have done their best but because of circumstances just come out like shit, people want to believe they either do have or can have control over their life, including if they're 'good'. this isn't to say that free will is meaningless, just that is more to being 'good' than just telling someone try harder at being good.

the Good Victim stuff isn't necessarily a poor representation of what can happen in life, i've certainly met some very sweet, traumatized people at my job, however, to say that is the only way to be good, to say you can only experience and express your pain in a certain way to be good is very upsetting. people lash out when they're hurt. they do ugly things to make others hurt before they think you'll hurt them. they force people to be at their side because they don't know how to ask -or even how to have trust in another that they'll do what they say. an abuse survivor could try to seek out therapy, or they could avoid it because every interaction in their life has told them that if you tell people things about yourself- they'll just use them against you later. it's their choice to make, and the 'right' one that might seem obvious to us might, to them, seem to be the worst thing they could do for themselves.

Samantha had a traumatic childhood, never knowing when she would be taken from her loved ones when her emotions got the better of her. her parents, from her recount, seemed very loving and she was definitely more well off than the majority of the world. by the point she lost her parents to the car crash(from her perspective, by her own fault) she was late into her childhood, 16, and had just enough guidance at that point to have her own well-developed answers for what 'good' is, even if she didn't know just yet how to quite pursue it. she had the the resources and support to pursue just about anything she wanted, it was only a matter of overcoming her own insecurities.

Robert, by his very first memories, had his whole reality warped by his ability. his parents catered to him at a very young age, and followed all his wishes up until the moment they abandoned him when he was 13 years old. whether or not they loved him, we will never know because of the nature of his ability. we know from his accounts in A Neon Darkness that they had a corn farm, so from that we can assume they were fairly well off, but not so well of that they didn't worry about money. we know he's from Nebraska which seems to have a decent education system, and we know he attended school for a while after, but with an ability like his that literally warps the behavior and words of those around him w/out him even having to think about his own want, whose to say how faithful that education was? needless to say, Robert's concepts of 'goodness' are completely underdeveloped. that he didn't come out a complete psychopath is nigh a miracle.

the issues that plagued Damien in his childhood followed him into his adulthood, because until he loses his ability, he's working with the same data he's been given his whole life. no wonder he's such a bookworm, even slice of life stuff must seem like fantasy to him. Samantha already had a head start in her childhood, but as she became and adult and attended therapy, she was gradually able to expose herself to new data that guided her on how to master her ability and cope with her anxiety disorder. Damien's ability robbed(heh. Rob.) him of the ability to develop. it's described as a poison but i think rather than degrading him, it's put him in this perverse homeostasis where he never grows because he doesn't know 1.) how to change 2.) what he even needs to change 3.) why he should change, even if he wants to, as he clearly so desperately does.

to say his issue is that he just hasn't "tried hard enough" like Sam or Caleb is just insulting, and i'm sure triggering for anyone who's heard those exact words from their own teachers and parents. he's been put in this impossible situation, made to act realistically, and then blamed for it, over and over again. even in his letter in Some Faraway Place, as much as i loved it, it read's as Damien finally blaming himself too, just like how literally everyone else in the series has, and now it's his turn.

[xeulousluv]

Almost

AN: Hello everyone, I am fairly new to posting on this app, so therefore I am still learning how to use it. Hehe :) Anyways, I hope you are having a great day!

Warning: Nothing really, maybe a little bit of angst? 

Zayn and Y/n broke up and all he’s left with are the videos she took during their senior year of high school.

September 1st, 2010: 

The camera was set up in her hand as she was slightly fixing her hair, a huge smile plastered on her makeup covered face. He always thought she looked better without makeup, but sometimes you couldn’t beat the insecurities. 

“Here we are, the first day of senior year! How are we feeling, Zayn?” 

Next to her stood himself, a much younger version of himself. Two years to be exact. He was almost unrecognizabel, with his usual high school attire adoring his body. A white tee-shirt, black skinny jeans, and not to mention his varsity football jacket hanging off of his shoulders. She looked lovingly at her boyfriend, her eyelashes beating against the softness of her rounded cheeks. 

“I’m ready to get out of here, the last three years were the upmost worst years of my life.” Zayn spoke truthfully, he hadn’t expected to make it past the ninth grade, but with the help of Y/n, he managed to make it all the way to his graduating year. Y/n gave him an offended look before responding, “Hey! If it weren’t for these last three years, you would’ve never met me, let alone had the courage to talk to me. Am I really that bad?” 

She laughed out while speaking, all so he knows that she is joking and would never accuse him of thinking such things. Though, he was already two steps ahead of her and was laughing along at her sad attempt of looking offended. “Of course not, baby. You are what kept me going.” With that, Zayn kissed her temple and she let out a small giggle before stopping the camera. 

September 5th, 2010:

Random small talk was heard on the computer sitting in front of Zayn, before her face showed with a bright glow. She was so beautiful it almost hurt. She was laughing at something her friend Emery said, though it was completely inaudible, he just let the smile take over his face hearing her laugh again. 

“I don’t exactly know why I turned this on, but hello! We successfully made it through the first week of school, and let me just say, it was not fun. The teachers still hate me.” Again, Y/n laughed towards the camera. 

“I remember this one time last year when Mr. Lambert threw me out of class because I wouldn’t stop laughing. In my defence, he was talking about the safety of condoms and Zayn kept mocking him. That was a detention worth going to.” Zayn remembered that day clearly. He sat to the left of Y/n, Mr. Lambert’s first mistake, and would whisper in her ear how he would show her the proper way to wear a condom when they got to her house that night. To say he did end up showing her was an understatement. 

The camera then turned to her friend before she continued on with what she was saying, “Anyways, Emery here, has informed me about this back to school party for seniors at Anthony Stilettos house. So, we are heading to the mall so we can get a nice looking outfit for tonight. I’ll see you guys later!”  And with that the camera switched off.

He thought that was the end of the video, but when she popped back on his screen, he was pleasantly surprised. She wore a black dress that just reached her knees, the end of it rippled and flew each time she took a step. Her hair and makeup was done, and her shoes matched her dress, she really was the most beautiful person he has ever met. 

Without saying anything, Y/n moved the camera to where the view was now on Emery. She wore a simple tight red dress that fit her like a glove, she was placing bobby pins in her hair before realising a camera was watching her every move. Emery turned away from the mirror Y/n had in her room, and started making random poses into the camera. The video finally ended with Y/n facing the camera back to herself while laughing at it. 

October 7th, 2010: 

It was homecoming. Their final homecoming, and of course, Zayn asked her to be his date. He didn’t go all out like the previous years, this particular year was asked right after they finished giving each other their all. They were bunched up together, all sweaty and breathless, and that is when Zayn asked her to go to homecoming with him. He thought it was gross because of their previous activities, but Y/n thought it was sweet, endearing even. It was personal and intimate, she wouldn’t have had it any other way. Plus, she was tired of all the attention that comes with getting asked to homecoming. 

Her dress was a beautiful shade of baby yellow, Zayn wore his usual black suit but with a yellow tie and a yellow rose pinned to his coat pocket. The night couldn’t have been anymore magical. 

“Z, are you ready to go? Emmy and Dallas are waiting in the car.” Her soft voice echoed through the speakers, she was worried about being late. But more so, excited about what the night had planned for the couple. Zayn was fixing his hair, like he does any other day, however today, he wanted to look his absolute best. “Just one more second, love. Gotta look perfect before leaving these four secured walls.” 

Y/n rolled her eyes into the camera before another smile took over her face. It only got wider as he finally announced that he was ready. 

“Baby, you look handsome! You don’t need all that hair gel, make one wrong move and we’re calling you Uncle Jesse.” Zayn scoffed, his hands finding their place on her hips, him being pressed up against her back. His chin resting on her shoulder, they looked so in love. They were so in love. 

October 31st, 2010: 

Fall was Y/n’s favorite season, meaning Halloween was by far her favorite holiday. She squealed into the camera when Zayn walked out in his Peter Pan costume. “Baby, you look so fucking adorable!” She cooed, though Zayn was having none of it. “Do we have to go to this party? Can’t we just stay in and watch scary movies, I promise I will protect you if you get too scared!”

He knew it was no use, Y/n had been going on and on about Anthony’s costume party for the past week, so when she started laughing, Zayn internally groaned. “Brave of you to assume I will get scared during a horror movie. How about we go for just an hour, then you and I can come back here and watch whatever movie you want?” 

At that, his ears perked, he could go for an hour. That gives him all the more time alone with his love. “Hocus Pocus? That’s my favorite.” 

“Yes baby, we can watch Hocus Pocus, do this for me, and I’m all yours for the rest of the night.” A grin was stretched across his face as she leaned up and gave a peck to his lips. Adoration shining brightly in her eyes as she looked up at him. “You are so lucky I love you, Y/n.” 

“I love you, Zayn. More than you will ever know.” 

December 31st, 2010:

“Hola, my favorite people! Happy New Years Eve, I hope you guys are having a good day. My family is having a little party to bring in the new year, even though you won’t be watching this until later when I decide to post it, I hope you guys have an amazing holiday. Be safe now. Bye!”

Christmas and New Year’s was hard for Y/n. She had major separation anxiety for everyone she grows close to, so not being able to see the people she loves for a whole two weeks was taking a toll on her. Not to mention, Zayn went back to Bradford for the holidays, so he wasn’t there to keep her calm. All she had was the emails and messages he would send her.  

However, that night was different. She didn’t know what it was, but the air felt more intoxicating. There was something she was missing and the young girl couldn’t put her finger on it. 

Emery got ahold of Y/n’s camera without her noticing, pressing the ‘record’ button and smiling.

“Hi, as many of you may know, my name is Emery White. Before questions start racing through your head about where Y/n is, she is currently in the kitchen talking to one of her neighbors, and she knows nothing about this so, shhh!” Emery held her index finger up to her mouth, even though she is talking to a camera. 

“So, the time is now 11:58, meaning it is almost New Year’s and I got a message from a good friend of mine to get her camera and start recording. Oh wait, she’s coming over! Act normal!” 

“Emmy? Why do you have my camera, wait no, when did you get my camera?” Emery turned her neck to look at Y/n, and smiled while looking at her friends confused face. “It’s almost midnight, I figured we could record the big moment for your journal thing.” 

Y/n looked at her watch and sure enough, it was 12:59, and the people around her were counting down. By the time Y/n looked back at her friend, Emery had switched her position to behind the camera, her smile now stretching to her eyes. She gave a confused smile towards the camera before shaking her head. 

10..

9..

8..

A tap was felt on Y/n’s shoulder making her turn around, not believing her eyes, she had to do a double take. There he was in all of his glory. Zayn stood in front of her with a bouquet of random flowers, her eyes widening in complete shock. 

3..

2..

1!

Before she could fully process his presence, Zayn had planted his lips against hers in what he would call, one of their best kisses. His arms went around her waist while hers were around his neck, keeping him as close as humanly possible. She was the first to pull away from the kiss, tears forming at the bottom of her eyes but never fell. Zayn pulled her back, this time her face went into his neck as he whispered out a small, “Happy New Years, baby.” 

May 22nd, 2011: 

Senior prom, a day Y/n has waited her entire life for. Getting all dolled up for one night of perfection sounded glorious. Unlike most people, her dress doesn’t reach the floor but goes a little ways past her knees. It was a light shade of green, she wasn’t usually one for the cliche pink and blue, and her stomach was laced over showing her belly button peircing. She felt on top of the world, the most gorgeous she has ever felt in her entire life. 

Zayn was in a nude tuxedo, a lightish green tie tucked into the blazer. “It’s prom day, baby, how do you feel?” The now well-known camera placed in front of his face, though he paid no attention to it, but really the girl behind it. “Like I have the most beautiful girlfriend in the world. How did I get so lucky, hm?” 

The blush was evident on her face, he could see it perfectly now even with the camera facing him and not herself. He could still see the light in her eyes. Looking back on it, he couldn’t imagine living his life without her, how could he let her go? 

It wasn’t like they got in a fight or anything, Zayn and Y/n were going to different colleges and he didn’t want to do the whole long distance thing. He felt she deserved better than that. So even though the breakup was absolutely not a mutual agreement, Y/n somewhat understood and let him walk away. 

“You’re such the charmer, Zayn. Always got me blushing for no good reason.” 

“I would be a bad boyfriend if I didn’t.” 

Now turning the camera to face both of them, Zayn placed a kiss on her lips before turning off the camera and letting their night go on as best as it could, for it would be one of the last good memories they have. Except at the time, neither of them knew the last time would actually be the last time. 

June 4th, 2011: 

“Hey everyone, I just want to start off by saying congratulations, we made it. Graduating today was the most amazing feelings, and I’m sure you all can agree with me. The past four years have really taught me a lot, I know I sound like the Mallory Barnes, our valedictorian that gave the speech today, but I’m serious, you all have been amazing. Teachers included.” 

Y/n wasn’t in her usual attire. She was in a comfortable baggy hoodie, and that’s all you could see as her camera was propped on the desk in the corner of the room. Her hair was in a messy bun, no makeup, and her glasses were sat perfectly on her nose. What no one could notice was the slight puffiness to her eyes, the way they were red and tired. But Zayn noticed, however. When Y/n first uploaded this to her instagram, Zayn couldn’t bare to watch it, so seeing it now definitely brought back a feeling he tried too hard to push away. 

“In the past four years I have learned about friendships, I learned about love, and I learned about heartbreak. I have got to say, high school brought me some really great friendships that I will cherish forever. I am finding it very difficult to say goodbye, but we are bound to go off and do bigger and better things. The future awaits for us.” 

“I just want to thank you guys for the amazing memories, and I hope you guys make your dreams come true.” Y/n sighed into the camera, she was really bad at saying goodbye, though you would think it would be easier considering no one likes high school. However, Y/n loved every single second of it, maybe not the learning but the memories made.

“Now, I am going to get really sappy for a minute and say a massive thank you to the man who has loved me for the past four years. Zayn, I know we haven’t talked in a few weeks, and you’re probably not even watching this, but just know that I am so proud of you.  I don’t know how I could not be. I really hope you make something wonderful of yourself. You were by far my favorite part of this journey. Thank you for sticking with me and for loving me. And even though we aren’t together anymore, I love you.”

“We almost had it all, didn’t we?” 

AN: Yeah, I don't think I like this babahahah. Love the concept but someone out there could definitely write it better. 

[ilballodellavita]

Måneskin Europa Plus Interview Translation

Hi everyone, this is a translation for Måneskin’s interview in Russia on 01.09.2021 with the radio station Europa Plus. I translated using just the Italian/Russian translator and of course Måneskin’s answers since I only know Italian, so if you speak Russian and I missed something feel free to tell me <3 This is also my first time translating such a long video so thanks for your patience! :-) You can download the interview here (Thanks @definitelynotdamiano​ for this link!) Tr = Translator

[ ] = My notes

Enjoy! (Under a read more because it’s pretty long)

Tr: We had to meet you, we are also your fans because we were at your event last night. We’ve been in love with you since Eurovision

All: thanks!

Tr: After the event last night we came here this morning without even changing 

Vic: Right on *laughs* 

Tr: It’s the first time that we [the interviewers] have our makeup like this, it’s unusual [for us], the first question is do you put on your makeup by yourselves or do you have a stylist to do it for you? 

Thomas: Depends

Vic: When we are working we are fortunate to have a stylist because-

Thomas: Exactly

Vic: -if we were to do it ourselves every morning it would be very bad 

Thomas: Very very bad yes 

Tr: Today your makeup looks very nice. How are you finding Russia? Is it your first time in Russia? Do you like it/not like it? 

Thomas: It’s very pretty

Damiano: Yes it’s the first time we’ve come

Thomas: We haven’t been able to see very much however it seems very pretty 

Tr: The Russian audience is very different from other European countries; are you surprised at the amount of fans you have here in Moscow? 

Damiano: Okay, it’s not so different, it’s very very hot. But yes we were surprised at the quantity of the fans we have 

Tr: How did you ever decide to come to Russia? No one knew, it seemed a bit, as they say in Russian, an “all of a sudden snow” 

Damiano: People have been asking us for a long time

Vic: They messaged us to try coming there and therefore we are inevitably here

Tr: You are exactly the type of singers that listen to fans and go where people ask you to go in regards to other countries then? 

Vic: Yeah if we can 

Ethan: Absolutely 

Tr: [One of the interviewers] is learning Italian and when she hears you speaking Italian she is already happy and jittery (in an excited way) so really you can talk about anything. Anything you want she will be happy. 

Thomas: Great 

Damiano: Perfect 

Tr: After your Eurovision win, has your life changed a lot? Or even before were you pretty famous in your own country [Italy]?

Damiano: No, no we’ll say not too much [of a change] however of course in Italy we already had good results. Surely it was a big change from before really just touring around Italy to now going and touring around Europe.

Tr: What objectives did you have for Eurovision, did you go to have a little fun or with the goal of winning for Italy? To, let’s say, defend the honour of your country? 

Damiano: No, let’s say, both the things but more so to prove to Italy and others we could win with a genre of music that’s different from the traditional Italian music that is always supported; music that’s more melodic and light. We wanted to make another side of music in our country. 

Thomas: Exactly. This type of music isn’t very public or wide-spread and we’d like to see it grow obviously  

Tr: I would like to thank you because every once in a while I listen to as well as share Italian music to impressionable kids and the [traditional Italian] songs are more melancholic and sad and I was missing that “drive” that you bring into our lives.

Tr: It’s been a pleasure especially to watch your press conference after your Eurovision win and in my opinion they should let everyone put their feet up on the table when they are responding to the questions of the journalists.  

Vic: That’s my opinion too 

Damiano: True true true 

Ethan: I agree

Tr: A question for Damiano: as a singer, at times you will have problems with the voice due to stress, if you have these problems how much time do you need to recover?  

Damiano: It’s a thing that can happen but I try to prevent it from happening with various techniques that I am happy to follow to do everything [I can] so that it doesn’t happen 

Vic: Yeah it never happens 

Ethan: Damiano is very disciplined 

Tr: Therefore no chocolate or honey?

Damiano: Exactly 

Tr: Why did Ethan say Damiano is disciplined? In what sense did he mean? 

Ethan: Well, he’s a person that really looks after himself, and if he commits to something he will do it and will see it through to the end

Tr: During concerts you all seem very lively. But in your private lives you all seem very calm, preferring to stay at home with family, not going out too much, in your private lives are you more outgoing or the reverse?

Damiano: The 3 of them [Ethan, Vic, Thomas] are more outgoing in respect to me, I prefer to stay at home. 

Tr: How were you all welcomed back in Italy after the Eurovision victory? Because the last [Italian Eurovision win] was 1990 if I’m not wrong.

Ethan: Full of journalists! 

Vic and Thomas: Good! 

Vic: Almost like a soccer team welcome!

Ethan: In short, when we returned after the victory to our country we celebrated with our families because we hadn’t seen them in a while 

Tr: If I’ve understood well, you will do a world tour and therefore you still have little time to see family

Vic: Exactly. In general, we have little time to relax *laughs* 

Tr: And maybe then you have a little time to write other songs too

Damiano: No those are-

Thomas: No, no we find the right moments for them, obviously we have moments of inspiration with whatever we are doing. If we are live, doing different promotions, or meeting different fans, we always find moments of pause whether its 3 hours in the day to be writing 

Vic: Yes, exactly the most important thing is the need to be truthful; inevitably we will be too busy or too tired and we will say “Okay, wait we need time to write”

Tr: When you compose music, how does it work? Are you working together on some parts, waiting on a muse, or saying “no, today we’re going to make a song” 

Damiano: No, creativity comes at unexpected moments but it’s also a thing you can train. We find that when we have the time to write for a couple of days in the studio it’s usually in the morning and the evening when we throw out ideas, search for influences… unfortunately you can’t always expect an epiphany; otherwise it’s a bit difficult 

Tr: You all know Little Big, right? [Little Big is a Russian band Måneskin in a different interview said they knew of]

All: Yeah yeah 

Tr: So then while we are talking about Little Big, they said that during the pandemic lockdown they lived all together in a house and every day worked; did you do the same thing? 

Vic: Unfortunately no, during lockdown we could not be together so we had to experiment with different ways of writing at a distance… obviously it’s not the same [difficult] for a group that’s fundamentally together, so therefore until we could meet again we were doing that. 

Tr: We want to talk about your style, it’s a little inspired by the 70s, glam rock… and is this a style that you have chosen or is someone giving you advice about what to wear 

Vic: For us it is very important to choose because the clothes that you wear really express you and we want to represent that. Therefore we’ve always been ourselves from when we were little up until now. 

Tr: Do you have any intentions of launching a clothing collection?

Damiano: For now we’re focusing on music but maybe in the future when we have more free time

Tr: Going back to your style, it comes off strong, do you ever come across people who don’t understand and maybe complain about it? How do you react to this “aggressive” perception [of you]? 

Damiano: In reality, even now that we have success, those types of comments get sent to us and we just rise above them. But when we were playing on the streets it was particularly difficult because there was a concentration of people just yelling insults at us, but luckily there are four of us and we support each other and grow to be more confident in ourselves. 

Tr: Before coming out on stage at your concerts, do you have any particular rituals that bring you luck? That you do every time and it brings you luck? 

Vic: Ehhh there’s some swear words 

Ethan: We say “C’mon c’mon c’mon!” 

Damiano: “C’mon c’mon c’mon” is the censored version

Ethan: Exactly 

Tr:  Before going on your transmissions, now every time you will change out the swear words!

All: Exactly *laugh*

Damiano: In Italian though 

Tr: We have noticed that when someone doesn’t understand Italian, you can say anything in Italian [to them] and it just sounds really nice 

Vic: Thank god *laughs* 

Tr: What music do you listen to, what music inspires you? Are there artists that inspire you but you never listen to them? To avoid contamination and eventual plagiarism in your case? 

Thomas: For us contamination is a very important topic… anyway we listen to different artists big and small and we search to mix them and we have a clear idea of what we want to do. It’s really important to take inspiration from many different artists and take the best parts from each of them.

Vic: Yes, of course we have particular artists that we take lots of inspiration from but we search to listen to a lot of music and center in on the little details we want.

Tr: Why did you decide to do a cover of Beggin’, did you have any fear before doing it? 

[Damiano scrunches his face at this, I’m actually not sure if I translated it wrong or if that’s just a weirdly phrased question] 

Vic: No, in reality it was very very small [that is to say, not scary?], compared to the first songs that we played together and now that we’ve written our original songs. In fact we never expected this [Beggin’ becoming a hit] to happen.

Tr: And maybe it’s the first time that a cover became big before your own songs; you’ve had such resounding success even on social media everywhere

 Damiano: No no yeah it’s absurd 

**Instrumental break where 2 songs play, Damiano gets up and comes back** 

**A caller speaking Russian calls in, it seems they are playing a game with the caller about their Måneskin knowledge. During this time Måneskin does not speak except to each other, which cannot be heard** 

Tr: We have received a bunch of questions but there are 3 questions that everyone is asking in particular. I will ask them now. 

Tr: Is it true that you all have matching tattoos? 

Damiano: Two

Tr: Where? Let us see

[They only show them the heart with arrow tattoo, not the Må one]

Damiano: How can I show you, uh, *unbuttons shirt to reveal his* 

Ethan: *turns around and moves his hair to reveal his on the back of his neck*

Vic: *rolls up her sleeve to reveal hers* 

Thomas: *rolls up his sleeve to reveal his* 

Tr: The question for Ethan from yesterday [this is the same translator from the other interview and he was asked this yesterday] is “What shampoo do you use” 

Ethan: I use shampoo based one hundred percent from love 

Tr: The last question, and maybe the weirdest question, who of you follows the cosmos [space, like NASA] account and why?

Ethan: It’s me, I follow it because I've followed it a long time from when I first started following things on social media, because when I was little like 12-14 years old I had a love of astrophysics and therefore I followed all the pages. 

Tr: Going back to your hit, I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE, what inspired this song. What message did you want to transfer to the public with this?

Damiano: The inspiration for the most part like all our songs comes from personal experience and this piece talks about the various “hidden” aspects of sex, like the “strange” or “excessive” acts and we wanted to normalize it by writing a song because we live like this ourselves. 

Tr: When can your fans expect a new song? Do you have anything ready? 

Vic: Yes

Damiano: Believe believe believe

Tr: You probably don't have any more secrets for your new album?

Damiano: We are full of secrets 

Tr: We’ll try the other part, we know that you had a collaboration with Iggy Pop, do you have intentions of collaborating with others?

All: It’s a secret! *laughs* 

**At this point they ask Måneskin to create a playlist of songs they like on a piece of paper, Thomas goes first, then Vic, then Damiano, and finally Ethan**

Damiano turns to Thomas: Can I tell you something? Scratch this out because no one can read it. It’s impossible. *Damiano tries to read it, then says no* *He then further insults him, but this is in good fun* 

**Vic begins to draw Damiano, and Damiano, Ethan, and Thomas comment on it saying it’s nice and giving tips on what to add. Thomas says to add earrings and the snake tattoo on his chest, and Damiano asks her to “please give him high heels”** 

**They then are given posters to sign while they look at Måneskin’s list** 

Tr: Who wrote Death II - Pulp

Vic: Me

Tr: Do you have any intentions on covering Death II - Pulp? Or a collaboration? Or is it a secret?

Vic: We have a lot of secrets but they’re secrets from everybody 

Damiano: Why not

Tr: Who wrote this one? [Even Flow - Pearl Jam]

Damiano: This one is mine

Tr: Ethan has chosen this one [Achilles Last Stand - Led Zeppelin] 

Ethan: Yes

Tr: All the children now are going to school listening to this song so it will be a hell day at school 

All: *mild laugh*

Tr: Who wrote Paranoid Android - Radiohead? Thomas.

Tr: After this interview where are you going, there is a crowd of fans outside you must get through to get past

Vic: To sleep! 

Tr: In Russia, like most of the world, we are waiting for your concerts. Do you want to play in Russia, and do you know when? 

Damiano: We still don’t know when but surely we will

Tr: It’s another secret?

Dami: *laughs* No this one we don’t know for real

Tr: We hope that the next time we see you there will be less secrets. Anyway we are waiting anxiously for your album. We will listen to it. Yesterday we had a lot of fun at your concert and here in Russia you have a lot of fans. We wish you a lot of success and we will always wait here. 

All: Thanks very much

Here is the playlist mentioned above, and Vic’s drawing of Damiano ^

[kpop-zone]

Dating High School Blackpink

Jisoo

The valedictorian

She’s by far the most ambitious girl in school

All the high school drama couldn’t be more unimportant to her

She’s only focused on her studies

And on making her report card look better by joining strategically clever extracurriculars

She only keeps a small number of friends really close

Although she still treats the other students politely and helps them out wherever she can (resulting in her being the class president every year)

But she never really lets any of them close

That’s why you were really surprised when you learned that you had caught her attention

You had been in love with her ever since you started high school

But you had never dared to talk to her because she’s not so lowkey scary

There had been countless others who had tried to woo her

Because despite being a huge nerd, her beauty and unapproachability intrigued everyone

No one ever had a chance with her though

She simply ignored their advances or politely turned them down

So you didn’t even bother to talk with her

But one day in class, she came to talk with you

Your teacher had told you to find a partner for your final project

And suddenly Jisoo popped up in front of you

“Do you want to be my partner?”

Her question had totally caught you off guard and you stared at her with an open mouth

After embarrassing yourself for another painful minute, you eventually managed to shake off your trance and accepted her offer by simply nodding your head

“Ok, great. Meet me in the library after your classes end.”

Without awaiting your answer, she walked away but you wouldn’t have dared to disagree with her anyways

Therefore, you nervously made your way to the library after your classes had ended

Jisoo was already sitting at one of the tables, waiting for you with her school supplies neatly placed in front of her

She didn’t waste any time before starting with your project

Although she seemed to be trailing off several times while you were working

“He was involved with the Medici. They are from Italy. Do you like Italian food?”

You hadn’t expected her to ask you such personal questions, but you didn’t question her method and answered everything without hesitation

It wasn’t until two weeks later that you just weren’t able to ignore Jisoo’s weird behavior any longer

You had wondered right from the start why she had asked you for daily meetings although she seemed to know everything about the project already

Your confusion reached its peak on your last meeting one day before the deadline

Jisoo was completely out of it, fidgeting about on her chair and rambling about random things

“Are you ok? Are you nervous because of the project?”

You asked concerned but Jisoo immediately shook her head

“No, we’ll get an A. Do you want to go on a date with me?”

She blurted out, managing to catch you completely off guard

But you couldn’t say that you didn’t find her straightforwardness extremely attractive

Therefore, you -of course- said yes

The two of you agreed that she would pick you up at seven the same day

She ended up arriving five minutes early at your house and introduced herself to your parents (because she’s a classy girl), managing to woo them in a matter of seconds

After you had left your house, she managed to surprise you another time

You had thought that she would go with a safe choice -having dinner or watching a movie- but instead, she took you stargazing and prepared a fancy picknick with homemade food

And you fell for her even harder, so you didn’t hesitate when she asked you for a second date...and then a third and then a fourth...

On your fourth date she finally confessed to you that she had been in love with you forever

But just like you, she had been too shy to tell you

When the teacher had asked you to pick a partner though, she had decided to grab the chance

So she had used the two weeks that you had to work together to find out more about you and to plan the perfect dates (which she had clearly nailed)

You were completely enraptured by her confession

Therefore, you didn’t even need to think when she asked you to make your relationship official

And ever since, you are a dream team

You are a well-balanced couple

Although Jisoo is still very focused on her studies, she never neglects you

She always makes sure to have enough time for you and never stops being the most charming person on earth

Even though you are already hers, she still takes you on fancy dates and flirts with you as if she still needed to woo you

“Excuse me? Have we met before? I feel like I’ve seen your face before... Oh yeah, I remember now. It was in the dictionary next to the word ‘gorgeous’!”

She will hit you with pick up lines like that out of the blue

You always roll your eyes because of her cheesiness but secretly, you enjoy it

Jisoo also helps you to study

You had never been a terrible student, but sometimes you lack motivation

Your girlfriend has plenty of ways to motivate you though

“I will give you a kiss for every exercise that you solve correctly.”

So, since you started dating Jisoo, your grades had gotten exponentially better

In return for your girlfriend’s assistance, you help her to ease up a bit

You force her to accompany you to parties and to go out with her friends more often

She always whines, but in the end, she’s grateful that you managed to lure her out of her room

Everyone else is jealous of your perfect relationship

Never had the two of you ever been caught fighting

You even got voted first in the category ‘Couple who’s most likely to get married first’ in the yearbook

Because you just look right together

Although Jisoo isn’t a big fan of PDA and at most, allows you to hold her hand in public, the two of you still manage to cause some agitated whispers every time you walk through the hallways together

Everyone simply wants to know how you managed to woo her

But just like Jisoo doesn’t care about the rumors about others, she doesn’t care about the rumors about herself either

She’s perfectly content with everything that she has

And you are perfectly content with everything that you have too

Jennie

The rich girl

She’s by far the most popular girl in school

Everyone who’s befriended with her is considered a cool kid

Her clique frequently makes the hallways its catwalk

Because all her friends manage to significantly upgrade their school uniforms with expensive accessories

Especially Jennie looks like she stepped right out of Gossip Girl

Her look is usually completed by a headband, a shiny brooch, and the newest Chanel bag

The moment she steps out of her family’s Porsche in the morning, the head of every single person in the school turns around

There are only two kinds of people on the planet: people who want to be like her and people who want to be with her

You belong to the second kind

Ever since you had first spotted her, you were head over heels in love with her

But of course, you had never dared to talk with her, because you weren’t considered a cool kid

You just stole secret glances at her like all the other lovesick fools at school

Until the goddess of destiny decided to let you find a grain of corn one day

You had agreed with your friends that you would meet in the stadium to watch the soccer match of your school team together

As usual, however, they texted you shortly beforehand that they would be late

So you ended up sitting all by yourself in the stands, grumpily waiting for your friends to keep you company

Just when you thought that you had to be the unluckiest person on earth though, everything turned to the better

“Are you all by yourself?”

You instantly recognized her voice and whipped your head to the side in lightning speed

Jennie was standing next to you with her friends lining up behind her

You were so shocked that she had noticed you that you weren’t able to utter a single word

But Jennie didn’t seem to mind

“I wanna sit here, guys.”

She said to her friends over her shoulder who sat down obediently

“Hi, I’m Jennie. What’s your name?”

She flashed you the most beautiful smile that you had ever seen, making you blush profusely, but this time you were quick to respond to her question to stop making a fool of yourself

“Y/N!”

You blurted out breathlessly and Jennie’s smile grew even bigger

“Nice to meet you, Y/N! Here, cheer with us!”

She pressed a banner and some pom poms that her friends had brought into your hands before starting to cheer for your school team

You were still completely dumbfounded by the fact that the Jennie Kim was sitting next to you right now, but didn’t dare to disobey her wish

So you started cheering for your team too, causing her to grin at you happily

Till your friends finally decided to appear, you were almost feeling like a part of Jennie’s friend group

She had made sure to introduce you to the others and to incorporate you into their conversations

And to your surprise they were actually a lot more approachable than you had thought

If you were honest, they seemed to be fairly normal teenagers

(except when they asked you if you would also attend fashion week next month)

The evening flew by and when it was time to go home, sadness overcame you because you were sure that you would never talk to them again

But everything came differently the next day at school

“Y/N! Come here! Sit with us!”

As soon as Jennie had seen you entering the cafeteria, she waved you and your friends over

Perplexed, you stared at her, but your friends pushed you into her direction

Everyone in the cafeteria stared at you as you made your way over to the cool kids and started to whisper behind your back

But Jennie didn’t pay attention to anyone but you

She patted the seat right beside her and continued to eat as if it were just a normal lunch break

From that day on, your friends and you had fixed seats at the table of the cool kids

They always waved you over during lunch break

And also started chatting with you when you ran into each other in the hallways like you had always belonged to them

Especially Jennie always seemed to make an effort to see you as often as possible

You didn’t really think much of it at first

Until your friends couldn’t take your obliviousness anymore and told you that Jennie was having a crush on you

You laughed at their ridiculousness, but in the following weeks you noticed that Jennie truly always acted a bit shy around you

You began to doubt your certainty that the Jennie Kim could never be in love with you, and you became a nervous mess around her too

(It was pure torture to watch the two of you for everyone else)

So your friends hyped you up until you finally had enough courage and asked her out for homecoming

You had never seen a happier person in your life before

Jennie smiled with her whole face and instantly agreed

The two of you became the talk of the night

But once again, Jennie only had eyes for you

She even fled the coronation of the homecoming queen

Because she didn’t want to dance with anyone else

So the two of you stole away and talked on the stairs in front of the school instead

You talked all night until more and more students left the dance and you figured that it was time to bring Jennie home

But before you could stand up, she stopped you

“Wait, there’s actually something I wanted to do before we leave.”

Expectantly, you looked at her and to your surprise Jennie suddenly leaned in

Your lips met and you completely froze until she pulled away when someone bolted out of the door behind you

You stared at her in complete shock, but Jennie just smiled at you

“Ok, we can go now.”

She held out her hand to you and you took it speechlessly

Together you made your way back home with your fingers intertwined

When you looked to the side, you could see that Jennie was still grinning from ear to ear and you started to ease up

Like two Cheshire cats you walked through the city, giggling sheepishly every now and then when your eyes met

And you were sure that you had to be the happiest person on the planet

Ever since that night Jennie and you are a couple

And you are allowed to see more and more of her world, realizing that people just had way too much fantasy

Not even half of the rumors that circulate about her and her friends are true

Jennie is not at all that scary, arrogant rich girl that everyone always makes her out to be

She’s just a normal teenager who tries to survive high school

Everyone had just put her in a box, because of her family’s money

She doesn’t think that she’s superior to others because of her family’s money at all though

Although you do have to stop her sometimes from spoiling you too much

Because whenever she sees something that she thinks you could like, she simply buys it

And when you’re getting food together, she always wants to pay

But you convinced her at one point to alternate because you want to spoil her too from time to time

Although she doesn’t really want you to spend a lot of money on her

“If you want to spoil me, then give me endless cuddles.”

She usually says and who were you to disagree?

Generally, Jennie is someone who isn’t too shy to show her love for you publicly

She always makes sure to keep you close by her side

As soon as you are together, your bodies are attached to each other in some way

Either your girlfriend will hold your hand, interlink your arms, place her hand on your leg or sit in your lap

Your friends always tease you about it when you go out together

But Jennie couldn’t care less

She loves you with all her heart and she wants everyone to know that you’re hers

Chaeyoung

The choir girl

She’s a sweetheart

Everyone knows her

And everyone loves her

Because she’s in a billion different clubs at school (she can’t say no...)

Cheerleading, prom committee, glee club, choir, creative writing club...

But her only real passion is music

In 99% of the cases when she’s not in class, she can be found in the choir room

Usually, she just strums away on a guitar or plays piano

Often she leaves the window open and her beautiful voice mesmerizes everyone on the schoolyard

The 1% of the time that she isn’t in the choir room, she can be found in the cafeteria

All the cafeteria ladies know her by name

And they are all whipped for her

She always gets an extra scoop or sometimes she even gets some special menu

And as her best friend, you enjoy the same benefits as well

You can’t remember a time that you weren’t with her

She’s your best friend ever since you can think

The two of you live in the same street

And grew up playing together

Ever since elementary school you also attend the same schools

So at one point in your live it literally seemed like you were seeing each other 24/7

That’s why you don’t really know when your relationship had changed

It was more of a creeping process

Even as children you liked to pretend that you were a married couple when you were playing

It was also normal for the two of you to hold hands wherever you were going

Therefore, you can’t really tell when you turned from friends to lovers

Neither of you were simply ever interested in anyone else

And when you moved on to middle school together, everyone assumed that you were a couple

And you didn’t bother to correct them

It wasn’t until the end of middle school though that you actually kissed for the first time

You were having one of your many sleepovers

And all the pent-up uncertainty and emotions that both of you had been feeling finally reached their limit

So when you were facing each other on your bed and Chaeyoung’s gaze flickered to your lips, you just leaned in

It was just a short and sweet peck on the lips

But when Chaeyoung giggled happily afterwards, it didn’t fail to make a million butterflies erupt in your stomach

And you knew that this definitely would not be the last time

Since then you are officially a couple

Although you actually spend less time together ever since you transferred to high school

Because both of you have quite busy schedules

That did not change the importance that you have in each other’s lives though

Chaeyoung is still the first person that you tell every important and not so important thing in your life and vice versa

And both of you are still completely uninterested in anyone else

Although there are of course a lot of jocks who want to woo Chaeyoung because she’s the captain of the cheerleading squad

But she is always quick to turn everyone down

Managing to break a lot of hearts in the process

Because she’s very bad at hiding the disgust in her face whenever someone flirts with her

So you usually laugh away all the advances of her admirers

Plus, most students know that the two of you are dating anyways

After all, you are one of those annoyingly cute couples

You have lunch together every day and wait for each other after school to walk home together

Chaeyoung also holds your hand at all times or interlinks your arms

So sometimes it seems like the two of you are magnets

And someone who doesn’t know you would probably think that you had just fallen in love

Because everyone can see that you’re completely crazy about each other

Especially when your girlfriend surprises you with small, sweet gestures

When you have a test, for example, she always makes sure to slip your favorite snack into your backpack

Or she leaves random cute notes in your locker when you have different classes all day long

In return, you always visit her at the choir room to bring her snacks when she forgets time once again

Often, you also study there instead of in the library, because you can never get enough of your girlfriend’s voice

That’s also why you would never miss one of her performances

No matter whether it’s a singing, dancing or reciting performance

You are her biggest fan

Although Chaeyoung always gets really shy when you praise her afterwards

But of course, you end up praising her even more, just to see her blush

When the two of you are not at school, you usually like to hang out at one of your houses

Often you have “study dates” which are not really used for studying though

You always plan to study, but end up doing other things instead

The longest time you had ever managed to stay focused was 15 minutes

It’s just too distractive for the two of you to be in one room

Usually you end up talking or making out all day long

So sometimes you don’t even bother to bring your books when you go to Chaeyoung’s house

Why should you study if you could have a picnic with your girlfriend and her cute puppy instead or watch some stupid variety show together?

Most of the time your procrastination isn’t too harmful for your report cards either

So neither of you feels too bad for not doing what you were supposed to

After all, time that you spent together is never wasted

Because even after all these years, you could never get bored of each other

Every moment that you spend together is special

Lalisa

The troublemaker

The moment that you had met Lisa for the first time, you knew that she would turn your life upside down

She is not your average high school student

She is just there to have a good time

Theoretically, she is smart and talented enough to join countless clubs (like the Foreign Language Club)

But practically, that’s too much work for her

The same applies to sports clubs

It takes no genius to see that she’s athletic as hell

But she doesn’t like the pack behavior that comes with those clubs

The only activity that she had ever tried was cheerleading because dancing is her passion

But it was way too restrictive for her

She hated following the lame choreographies of her coach

Plus, there had been too much drama for her with the other girls

Many of them had been jealous because they couldn’t keep up with her

So, Lisa simply left the squad again

She just wants to get through school without any stress or drama

Although she unfortunately has the talent to frequently get herself in quite a lot of trouble

Her favorite offense is to fall asleep during her classes

And one of her gravest ones is accidentally blowing up the chemistry lab

She never means to cause trouble

But the frequency of her accidents has earned her a reputation as troublemaker

Therefore, it is no surprise that the two of you had met in detention for the first time

Your teacher had guided you to the gym where Lisa was already waiting

She had instantly caught your eye although she seemed to be a be a bit shy

“Lisa! Nice to see you here...again. You know the drill. Everything needs to be squeaky clean.”

Those were the words that the teacher had said before leaving Lisa and you alone

For a few awkward seconds, the two of you just stole sheepish glances at each other

But then Lisa eventually piped up

“What are you here for?”

She asked while grabbing a mop and starting to clean the old, smelly gym

“I punched a guy for stealing a kid’s lunch money.”

You replied casually, causing her to stare at you in surprise for a second

Eventually she managed to recover herself though and nodded impressed

“Dope.”

From that moment, the ice between the two of you was broken

And you started to chat while mopping the floors

The time flew by as you learned more and more about each other

You found that you had more in common than just your inclination to get yourself in trouble

Your taste in music was pretty similar and you could also not argue with Lisa’s choice of absolute must-watch movies

After a while, your punishment didn’t even seem so bad anymore

If you were honest, you were glad to be stuck in your school’s smelly gym right now

Subconsciously, you had even started to clean slower just so that you could spend more time with Lisa

But eventually, your teacher came back to set you free and it was time to part ways

Both of you hesitated to leave though so you figured that you should not forgo this chance

“Maybe we could meet up some day and watch some movies together?”

You asked Lisa as you stepped out of the gym and she looked at you with a wide smile playing on her lips

“I would love that!”

She responded happily and you could feel your heart fluttering in your chest

Quickly, you exchanged phone numbers before saying goodbye

The following days, you didn’t see Lisa at school though to your dismay

She also never texted

And suddenly you started wondering whether she had just given you her number because she didn’t want to be rude

You were already pretty sure of your theory when Lisa finally sent you a message after four days

That’s Lego

Attached to her short message was a picture of a kitten and you laughed because of Lisa’s randomness

But you couldn’t say that her strategy hadn’t worked

The ice was broken again and the two of you texted every day

You also met up at school and hung out between your classes

It seemed like Lisa had just been a bit shy in the beginning

Because now that you knew each other better, you could barely stop her from talking (not that you would have wanted her to anyways)

You also followed through with your plan to have a movie night

Although you didn’t really watch a lot of movies

At first, you got distracted by Lisa’s cats

Then you stumbled upon her impressive collection of photos that she had taken over the years

And finally, she tried to make fresh popcorn, but forgot to put a lid on

So, when you started with the first movie, it was already past 10 pm

Nevertheless, you considered the night a success

Rarely anybody on this planet had ever managed to make you laugh as much as Lisa did

And you loved that she had allowed you to see a part of her world that not everyone could see

Therefore, your first movie night was followed by countless others

You grew closer every time, but you still didn’t really know what the two of you were

So you gathered all your courage and asked Lisa one night

“What...are we?”

You were a little nervous because you didn’t know whether you would like her answer

But Lisa just kept slurping the ramen that she was eating as if you had asked a totally mundane question

“I’m your girlfriend, right?”

She replied nonchalantly while glancing over the pot at you, causing you to chuckle

“Yes. Yes, you are.”

Everything about your relationship simply exudes strong ‘chaotic neutral’ energy

When the two of you are together no one knows what to expect

Maybe you use your time efficiently and build a darkroom for Lisa or have a study marathon

But maybe you also drink 20 shots of espresso each to watch all Harry Potter movies in one sitting

Everyone who knows you thinks that you are a safety hazard together

But for some reason you still work perfectly fine

You’re both chaotic, but in different ways

So you balance each other out

And both of you also have the same goals

You don’t take school too seriously

But you still have big plans for your future, so you always make sure to have a decent report card

And help each other out when you are struggling

Because you believe in each other

You know that Lisa will be the most famous dancer one day

And she would drop everything at any time to help you achieve your dreams as well

Together, you are an unstoppable force

And you know it

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

https://matthewfairchildfanclub.tumblr.com/post/622613826051932160/okay-im-ranting-because-i-started-re-reading-the

What do u think about this? I'm kinda struck. I didn't read it that way? It didn't feel ooc to me? I am just stunned how many ppl agree with this because...thar entire thing was cardan and jude being dumb and sad and... Jude is a strong protagonist and ever scheming and persistent but she's...like human? She has feelings and is allowed to be sad??? Idk it's just strange to me

okay first thing's first: i'm not trying to start beef with OP (or anyone who agrees with OP). that is their opinion. they're allowed to have it. Jude and Cardan aren't real, but the person on the other side of that blog is.

second. i really only briefly skimmed the post because, honestly, it's the same argument i've seen everyone who doesn't like QON make. they think because Jude wouldn't burn down villages to get back into Elfhame after having her heart broken, she is, therefore, OOC.

let me tell you why i, personally, disagree with that statement. (TW: discussion of mental health and dissociation under the cut)

i'm going to split this into two parts. one is more anecdotal and the other is more character based.

as you point out, nonnie, Jude is strong. she is fierce, she is determined. but again, she is human. with human feelings. teenage human feelings, at that.

anyone who is not convinced Jude would feel pretty shit for a while after going through her first heartbreak is either too old to remember the rollick of teenage emotions mixed with the legless lord of young love, or they've simply never had their hearts broken before.

if the first, they're looking at Jude's situation with years of maturation behind them, years Jude doesn't yet have at that point. i think people forget this sometimes. Jude is just a teenager. and they probably want her to keep fighting because it's what they didn't do, but wished they had.

if the latter..... oh, my sweet summer child.

when i was young and in love (kind of) and then suddenly had everything ripped away from me within the span of a month, i honestly couldn't tell you what happened that summer. because i don't remember. i was backpacking but all i remember is sleeping well into the afternoon almost every day. lashing out at my friends for stupid shit. not eating. taking every chance i could get to isolate myself. being fine one moment, then in the next feeling like i was going to burst into tears out of nowhere. i had my first dissociative episode. it lasted for three days.

now, i'm probably not as scary as Jude. but i'd like to think i'm stubborn and spiteful enough to warrant some shadowy semblance. what i became was not who i or anyone else wanted or expected me to be. i wanted to be angry and rage and seek revenge, but i couldn't. people expected me to get over it, but i didn't. i was just stuck in this awful liminal place.

heartbreak isn't a single moment where your heart is shattered and then you immediately begin to pick up the pieces. that's unrealistic. heartbreak shatters you and then steals what's left away into a dense fog and laughs as you fumble around blindly on your hands and knees, searching for the lost pieces of yourself.

so, as nonnie pointed out, it is okay for Jude to be sad. it is more than okay. it's what we should expect.

okay, now on to my character based argument. to me, anyone who has this interpretation of QON has severely misjudged Jude's character throughout the series as a whole.

it's true, Jude might put on the facade of tough scary lady with sword–and sure, to a certain extent that is part of her. but Jude is not inherently wicked or menacing or unforgiving, even if she can be at times.

just because we can be a thing doesn't mean we are that thing. mere adjectives simply do not have the breadth to define us, your honours. we exist in multitudes, or however the fuck that Walt Whitman quote goes.

i'm not going to comb through the entire series for moments where Jude is not scary or menacing because, frankly, there are a lot. if you're not actively looking for the moments where she is terrifying, i think you'll see her kindness, her gentleness, even at times her grace, quite plainly.

i'd also like to point out that the times in which Jude is any of those scarier things are all when she is literally terrified for her life. it's a survival tactic. be scared or be the scariest thing in the room. easy choice from where i'm standing.

now in terms of Jude's exile, Cardan is a little dumb here, but not in the fanon himbo Cardan way. just in the normal "dude madly in love" way. by exiling her to the mortal world, he thought he was giving her what she wanted: safety and a clever riddle to solve. because she can't break, right?

he also sent her away for selfish reasons. her safety was more absolute in the mortal world and he couldn't risk losing her again. plus, he wanted to show off his cleverness, smug prick that he is.

but what Jude actually wanted were the things he promised her in his vows: to be the Queen of Elfhame, and, ultimately, him. she wanted a place to call home and Cardan by her side. he took the only things she truly desired in the world away from her by exiling. so yeah, homegirl has every right to be sad.

to close, i think people with this perspective of QON have the same view of Jude as Cardan once did, and it comes from a place of well-intentioned misunderstanding. he thought she could not break. so did the anti-QON crowd.

they were wrong.

–Em 🖤🗡

more thoughts on Emotional!Jude

more theories & analysis

[val-el]

Headcannons for Superbats? classic Clark x Bruce

love how it has to be clarified /g like yes superbat classic, not medium or small.

Clark's favourite thing to do after Bruce has been working too long is to pick him up by the cape like a cat. If Bruce will not take a break Clark will force him to <3

Bruce doesn't watch shows a lot becuase he's suuper knit picky about them. It's actually a BatFam activity to start a new show and say everything about it that logically doesn't make sense or is dumb. People usually hate it but Clark finds it incredibly endearing.

In addition to that, Clark is unable to watch shows or movies without Bruce's voice in his head critiquing every angle of it.

The only kinds of movies or shows they can sit down and enjoy are the ones that are supposed to be stupid like Monty Python.

Clark is so good with the BatKids. I know it in my soul. "Wow Clark dating Batman means getting seven kids--" He knows. He's exciting. He'll be the best step dad ever okay just watch him

The minute Clark knew he made it was when Jason drove all the way to Metropolis after Clark was shot with kryptonite or sum shit and pulled out his biggest gun on Lex like "okay who the FUCK hurt my dad's bf we're gonna Have WORDS"

(Roy in the background: "'Words.' haha. he's gonna shoot you.")

Bruce is a fucking cat. We all know this. He is feral and hisses at people but when Clark is anywhere near him he relaxes and fucking purrs and it's kinda scary to other people.

Bat purr. Therefore Bruce purrs. He was super tired and somewhat tipsy after a date and Clark just hugged him and Bruce went purrrrr and it's been Clark's mission ever since to make him purr again.

They try to go to each other for parenting advice.

"Bruce help Kon started wearing makeup should i worry or"

"Idk man just let them do what they want and hug them if they're sad"

"that??? is not helpful at all??"

Kon does Clark's makeup one time. As a joke. Bruce has a heart attack.

Clark is somehow the Responsible OneTM but mostly because of Bruce's lack of self-preservation

Clark can cook. Bruce can make. Burnt Toast. (This is a song. Please listen to it.)

Bruce tries to surprise Clark with breakfast in bed but the fire alarm (smoke alarm?) goes off and after putting it out the uber eats McDonald's

[obeiii-mee]

Hey! Sorry to bother you with a second ask but i thought this one would be cool. Fluffy headcanons of the demon brothers watching scary movies with MC??? Somewhere MC gets scared, and some where they don't? Thanks again!! :)

It’s no bother!! I love getting requests from you guys! The more, the merrier. I sort of hc that the brothers and MC do have movie night every week or so and with them being demons, they tend to levitate towards the horror genre. Thank you for sending this, this is really cute :)))

Without further ado—-

————————————

The Brothers watching Scary movies with MC:

Lucifer:

-Haha mf already knows how this is going to end

-He warned you, he really did

-The horror movies DevilDom has to offer are nothing, and I mean nothing, like the ones from the human world

-I’m not going to go into detail but imagine Two Girls One Cup, in a less kinky and more gorey way (then times that by 10)

-But you were adamant into giving it a go and he literally could not deny you in that moment

-Because you were giving him the puppy eyes

-That’s like, the finishing blow you use every time to get your way with him and as far as you know it’s the only one that works so-

-He expected your reaction to the last second

-You were traumatised for lack of a better word and you were basically watching the whole film through the cracks between your fingers

-Seeing you in that state was like a punch in the gut but he couldn’t stop himself from throwing in a subtle ‘I told you so’

-“I told you watching something like this before bed is a bad idea, MC.”

-He might be a bit condescending and judgemental at first, but he’s probably going to baby you a bit for the rest of the night

-Because he feels bad he allowed you to watch it in the first place

-HAHAHAHA SOFT LUCIFER HAS BEEN SUMMONED, USE HIM WISELY

-He will start muttering words of comfort to you later because he’s certain you’re going to have trouble sleeping

-Because of that one time, he’s very hesitant to let you watch another horror film anytime soon

-But he will relent eventually (especially if you want to watch a human horror film as those are technically less extreme)

-If it makes you happy, he will go through with it, even if he has to let you cling onto him for the rest of the day

-Besides, the way you cuddle into him while you’re watching a horror film is very cute and endearing to him

Mammon:

-Ah yes, the most effective method of waking up the entire House of Lamentation at 3:00 am

-Mammon screaming his own vocal cords out in his room as he tries to get through his human’s favourite horror movie without dying of a heart attack

-It was his idea because he’s definitely the type to go: “Yeah let’s do this, it will be fun. Don’t get too scared alright MC? The Great Mammon will be here to protect ya.”

-And then ten minutes in, he’s basically in your lap

-Half an hour in, he turned himself into a demon burrito with his blankets

-You were enjoying the movie, laughing at the stupid sound effects and poor quality while Mammon next to you has wrapped himself in like two dozen blankets and pillows

-“Mammon you’re going to overheat.”

-“Don’t be silly human, I’m a demon who lives in hell. I can take high temperatures the same way I can take this damn movie!”

-He doesn’t take either of them well

-Mammon and the horror genre don’t mix well together to begin with

-So even if you might enjoy horror, he doesn’t react well to it at all

-And he’ll be low-key relieved if you tell him you guys don’t have to watch any sort of horror film for your date night

-“Well I guess if you don’t want to, then we don’t have to. Can’t make my human do something they’re uncomfortable with eh?”

-But if you do watch a scary movie with him, be sure to show any sort of physical affection to him as often as possible

-You don’t have to say anything, just hold his hand or let him put his head in your lap or something

-It might stop him from screeching like a female sloth in heat

-The last time that happened, his brothers weren’t too pleased with him

-They about to recreate the horror film scenes onto him, bring the popcorn have fun

Levi:

-For some reason, I feel like he doesn’t get scared easily while watching stuff

-I mean, after decades of obsessively watching animes with brutal character deaths (like Attack on Titan style) and grotesque horror games that are pretty nasty even to demons, let alone humans;

-A horror film, from the human world or even DevilDom, doesn’t do much for him

-It will have to have very good psychological horror in it if you want the hairs on his arms to stand up in anticipation

-Tension is a big deal for him and he will immediately shut off the TV if there are any cheap jump scares

-But, if you manage to find just the right thing for him?

-You’ll both be hiding under the bed in no time under the bathtub more like

-Hell, if the film you’re watching is that good, he might even be holding onto you for dear life without realising it and getting flustered about it

-For weeks afterwards, any sound that is remotely similar to one from that movie will probably send both of you into panic

-You came to his room one night because you’ve had a nightmare about the stupid film and legitimately thought there was a fucking demon serial killer in your room

-So you wanted to stay in his

-“But what if there is a serial killer in your room and now you just led it to me MC????”

-It’s all jokes, there’s no question he would lock both of you in his room and then stay there with you wide awake until dawn

-You’re his best friend after all, he would have to be completely heartless to leave you on your own! (Besides Levi is terrifying when he wants to be)

-One time you were sleeping over and the sound of fumbling woke you tf up

-And Levi immediately turned into his demon form, like he was ready to throw hands with this fictional murderer that supposedly sneaked into his room

-“DON’T WORRY MC, I’LL PROTECT YOU!”

-“Ah never mind, it’s just Mammon breaking into your room again to steal your Ruri-Cham figurines and sell them on Akuzon.”

-“Oh OK.”

-“.....”

-“WAIT MAMMON WTF YOU FUCKING SCUMBAG, GET OUT OF MY ROOM-“

-I’m playing Minecraft

Satan:

-Believe it or not, Satan doesn’t care much about horror movies

-Don’t get me wrong, he loves watching his brothers shit their pants out of fear in the middle of one while he silently smirks to himself because watching other people suffer brings him euphoria

-Especially if someone actually manages to find a film that is excellent enough to spook Lucifer, because then he will be cackLING

-But, overall, he watches a lot of shows revolved around drama and crime

-That’s his thing

-However, he won’t turn you down if you’re up to watching a scary movie with him

-Any time spent with you is valuable time seeing as it won’t be long before his brothers start hogging you again like the cockblockers they are

-He is honestly surprised to find out you seem to be rather amused by those sort of movies

-So, even if it’s not inherently something he does on the regular, he would definitely watch a scary film with you if you enjoy them that much

-But in exchange, he makes you promise to read with him until bedtime rolls around (imagine Lucifer having a fucking curfew for his brothers and you lmao)

-So for the rest of night you guys just read together, ya know, like sappy romantics

-Tbh, this man will do almost anything with you as long as both of you are having fun

-He knows it’s not likely, but he insists on sleeping in the same room that night just in case you have nightmares and he needs to comfort you

- :)

-Satan is a gentleman. Idk how many people that don’t play OM expected to hear this

Asmo:

-Why would you want to watch a movie when you could be watching him???

-I mean, you would rather watch all that gory stuff on the TV than his beautiful face?

-He may get salty over a fucking movie tbh

-Horror films aren’t something he generally looks for while trying to pick a movie to watch

-He can definitely handle them better than Mammon but it’s not something he takes great pleasure in watching

-But the first time he ever sits down with you to watch one, he’s very intrigued to see your reactions

-You started feeling the sensation of absolute dread creep in at the very beginning and you were trying your best to act like you weren’t getting affected by what you saw on the screen

-But you were

-You went from “I’m grown ass adult, I can watch a fucking horror movie, no problem.”

-To “Welp, not enough of a grown ass adult for this-“

-And Asmo thought the way you tried to hide your nervousness was very mesmerising in a way

-He was planning on flirting with you during the movie anyway, but now that you were pressing himself against him?

-Oh boy, Oh boy

-“Darling if you wanted to touch me, you could’ve just said so. Making the excuse of watching a movie is unnecessary.”

-Nightmares? What nightmares? You won’t have time to have nightmares ;)

-haHAHA funny inappropriate joke

-It’s Asmo, it’s mandatory to have at least one of those added in here

Beel:

-Beel will show up if there’s food and that’s that

-He doesn’t care what type of movie is playing on the TV as long as he has a bucket of popcorn next to him at all times

-Horror films aren’t something he can’t handle, he’s a demon like the rest of his brothers and he is used to...violent deaths and such

-He doesn’t get scared but there are times where he gets attached to the characters

-Especially movies with actual good and not cringeworthy dialogue

-Therefore, when they die, he gets sad even if they’re just fictional and their death had no real impact

-He also thinks that the way you can watch these things without flinching is impressive

-I mean, he can watch it and so can his brothers because they are demons

-They’ve done worse things than the things you see in horror films

-But you’re a human! So it’s weird to see you watch a person get repeatedly slammed against a wall until their neck snaps without batting an eyelid

-Overall, he does not have an opinion on scary movies

-He gets a bit emotional when a character he really liked dies

-But other than that, he’s just focused on eating

-And occasionally patting your head affectionately

Belphie:

-He doesn’t really like horror films because there’s a lot of screaming and tense music and he’s just trying to nap in your lap (rhyme)

-He doesn’t really need sound effects like that in the background while he’s trying to sleep

-But one day he was like “Hey, what if I show my favourite human this particular scary film?”

-And he did

-And he’s internally dying and feeling guilty and yet so flustered because of you

-It’s like you suddenly turn into this very fidgety and anxious mess and he thinks you just look....cute

-At some point you were getting overwhelmed and sprung up on your feet to turn the lights on

-And he just grabbbed your wrists, pulled you down next to him and let you press your head against his chest

-As mentioned, he’s a little shit and will tease you for being such a scaredy cat

-“That was the most predictable jumpscare and you still flinched, wth is wrong with you lmao.”

-But at the same time....

-“Relax. It’s just a horror movie. You’ll be fine. Besides, I’m here. Like I would let something bad happen to you.”

-That’s sweet, even if the tone of voice may not imply it because he’s such a brat-

-He actually really likes holding you for once, because usually he’s the little spoon

-He’s still a bit of a sadist so I imagine him sitting there and watching this while giggling to himself

-Isn’t he the cutest, laughing at other people’s misery and their never ending suffering?🥺🥺🥺 UwU

-Ah well, at least he has the decency to spoil with affection afterwards and make sure you have no nightmares that night

-You know, as payback for the horrific shit he made you watch with no warning

————————————

OK, I think I made a decent job of this even though it took longer than it actually was meant to. Thank you for reading though. I’ve got so many requests to go through and I’ve been feeling motivated lately so yeah!

See you soon

Al~

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Stalker X Stalker, Part 12

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Perma taglist: @nathleigh @peachmuses

Stalker x Stalker taglist: @aespades @jayjayspixiepop @blueslushgueen @fan-written @seraphichana @nerd-nowandforever @toodaloo-kangaroo @khneltea @raeuberprinzessin

Tim had exactly zero idea what was going on.

Marinette had disappeared into the shower so he’d figured that, hey, work was over and he was 90% sure it was the day she usually shaved (something he knew because every time she shaved she excitedly asked him to touch her leg because it was smooth) so he had time to kill…

He walked over to her jewelry box.

He’d already bugged all of the new jewelry he had bought her but her old stuff was perfectly intact and he kind of wanted more insurance. Sure, they lived together now so it was unlikely she would have much reason to leave without him, but he was known for his millions of plans and contingencies and he wasn’t about to mess up when it was someone he cared about.

So, he went to work on the first necklace he grabbed. It had a tiny cat with green emeralds for eyes.

He looked at the tiny black pupils that the cat had. He pulled a tiny pick out of his pocket and carefully started carving a circle in it for the bug.

And then a bug-shaped god came flying out of the door for something.

There were a few beats as Tim and Tikki stared at each other.

Tikki broke it with a loud groan.

He watched her float past him for the towel hung on Marinette’s bedpost and then go back inside.

Shit.

He darted towards the bathroom, only to pause at the door. He really didn’t want to burst in while Marinette was probably naked, that was a huge breach of privacy, but he also didn’t want Tikki to tell him about all the bugs he was planting! Shit! He bit his lip, considering.

“Here’s your towel, Marinette,” Tikki said with a sharp edge to her tone.

“... are you mad?”

“Not at you. Where are the cookies you baked last night?”

“Uh, the fridge --?”

“Thank you.”

Why hadn’t she told her? Tim wasn’t complaining, of course, but he was a little confused. She was clearly mad about it and he doubted that Marinette had made some rule that said ‘you can’t tell me about people bugging me’ because that was oddly specific and not a very good idea… so… what?

He didn’t know. He was just going to thank the god of luck -- he was pretty sure that was Tikki -- and continue what he was doing.

~

Marinette didn’t have to struggle to keep everyone inside the first night. She liked that. More time to plan.

But how did she get herself let out, you may ask?

Remember how Tim had said that all-hands-on-deck situations are the only exceptions to the Stay Inside While Injured Rule? Well, guess what had happened.

Arkham had had a huge breakout and Marinette wasn’t going to complain… even if her kwami might be a little disappointed in how happy she was about it.

She was even happier when she’d found out that one of the people that had broken out was Scarecrow. She’d been meaning to tell him about her guesses about his brownie recipe for a while and she hadn’t really had a chance to do it when she was talking to him through a phone with a thick glass between them.

Batman -- Bruce? -- didn’t need to know that they’d broken into a bakery for the night to test out their theories before she had taken him back to Arkham.

He’d thank them when he got the brownies (the missing ingredient was Mexican cinnamon!). Or, at least, she hoped he would.

~

Tim had to say… Marinette's plan to get everyone in her house was working.

He could warn his siblings but, honestly, he found it kind of funny.

He was surprised to see Jason show up first. He raised his eyebrows at his brother. “Didn’t know you were in town, Flamebird.”

Jason did an exaggerated eye roll that Tim swore he could see despite the domino. “Marinette said she had something she wanted to show me.”

And she did. She walked over and dropped the Harry Potter books onto the window ledge beside him. “This is terrible and I hate you for making me read them.”

“It gets better later on --.”

“I read two books. That’s six hundred pages. If you can’t get your shit together in six hundred fucking pages then you don’t deserve my time.”

He scoffed. “They’re not that bad.”

“Oh yeah? Read it. It’s been years for you, right? Get to book three and tell me it’s good.”

Jason scowled and grabbed the books, taking a seat in the armchair.

Tim grinned and rested an arm around his girlfriend. “You don’t actually hate Harry Potter, do you?”

“Only the book version.”

He frowned. “I think we need to break up.”

“Nope. Not allowed to break up with me.”

“Oh, well, if I’m not allowed then I guess I won’t,” he said, leaning down to press a tiny kiss to her lips.

There was a groan from the window and they both rolled their eyes, turning to look at Damian.

“Why must you sully my good mood so early on with your disgusting displays of affection?”

“It’s our apartment, you just so happen to be here,” said Tim, glaring at his brother. “We can do what we want.”

Marinette, bravely, stepped between the two of them with a bright smile. “Now, boys, it’s not the time.”

“It is not the time for your libido, and yet...” argued Damian.

“Please, that isn’t even close to libi --,” Tim started, only to get elbowed in the stomach.

She gave him a look that told him to let her handle it and, while he didn’t think that was a good idea, he held up his hands in surrender.

“Robin, it’s unbecoming of you to argue with everyone you meet,” she chided lightly.

… did she speak Damian or something? Because Damian actually looked a little reprimanded at that and Tim needed to learn her ways.

Then, she leaned down with a grin. He could see her hands start to rest on her knees but she thought better of it at the last second. “I got some new stuff from the pet store and I wanted to know if you wanted to help test them out on Vanelope.”

Damian narrowed his eyes slightly. “What kinds of new things?”

“A bunch of cat toys.”

“... I suppose I can test them out for you.”

“I mean, I said you could help --,” she started, but Damian was already heading towards Vanelope without her.

Tim looked over at his girlfriend. She didn’t seem all that put out by this.

“You really had something planned out for everyone?”

She smirked and took a seat on the windowsill. “Yep. It should take Flamebird about two days to finish the first two books -- assuming he can even get through them that quickly -- and Robin is sure to be very thorough in his testing of all the cat toys.”

“Oh? And what’s your plan for everyone else?”

She shrugged just slightly. “Guess you’ll have to wait and find out.”

When Dick appeared she set him up with Beat Saber, saying that she was curious about why the VR glasses gave her a headache and wanted to see if he had the same problem. Tim knew the problem was that they were made for men and therefore sometimes had negative side effects for women, but he bit his lip before he could offer to get a set custom-made for her in favor of watching Dick select the poppiest pop song in existence and instantly get addicted to the game.

Tim raised his eyebrows slightly when Steph appeared, textbook in hand.

“How did you know everyone would show up?” He asked once Marinette had set her up with a particularly long and difficult worksheet to make sure she got the lesson.

“Well, Spoiler shows up every Saturday night for tutoring, Robin comes by every other day or more and he didn’t stop by last night, Nightwing pops by most weekends, and I called Flamebird over myself… speaking of which…” She pulled out her phone and tapped a few buttons. “Right, Signal said he’ll be here in ten minutes seven minutes ago… so, he’s almost here.”

Tim grinned. “You forgot Cass.”

“She only ever really shows up to get away from all of you guys so, with everyone here, she’d have no reason to come over.” Her face split into a sheepish grin. “Also, she’d see through me pretty quickly.”

“Don’t you want B to have no help?”

She shrugged. “It should be a light night since almost everyone important is in Arkham right now but that doesn’t mean that the two of them can deal with all of Gotham’s petty crime on their own. I give them until three or four before they crack.”

“... you might be a little scary.”

“You don’t last long as a vigilante if you’re not at least a little smart,” she chirped. “I just choose to turn my brain off most of the time.”

He smiled. “Oh? And the exception is what? Making you stay inside?”

She waved him off. “Kind of. It’s more that I only put effort into making sure I’ll never be bored. What’s the point of thinking about anything else? All that does is make you sad.”

Well that didn’t sound healthy, now did it? Tim was pretty sure that was just repression but, honestly, he had no clue. His family famously did not use therapists.

Before he could figure out how to address that there was a knock on the door.

Marinette grinned and opened it to reveal Duke, who was holding a computer.

Duke looked around the apartment, raising his eyebrows at all the people there. “Uh… should I ask?”

“I’m spiting Bruce.”

“Wild. Whatever. Ready for GBBS?”

“Sure. Tim, you gonna watch it with us?”

He hesitated. Steph had been sending him pleading looks since she had gotten her worksheet and he felt kind of bad for her… but then Duke and Marinette sat on the couch and she rested her head on his shoulder lazily to get a better view of the computer and Tim figured that Steph was smart enough to do the worksheet on her own if she really tried.

He took a seat beside her and smiled a little when she switched to lean against him instead.

“So, who’s your favorite person for the season?” He asked.

She thought for a minute before shrugging. “The guy that always wins but keeps being anxious about his bakes. Forgot his name, though.”

“Rahul?!” said Duke.

“Sure.”

Duke frowned. “I’m not sure whether to be happy you like at least one contestant, be proud it’s Rahul, or be annoyed you didn’t remember his name.”

“Character development takes time,” said Tim wisely.

Marinette scoffed a little. “Just put on the damn show. I’m tired of listening to you assholes talk.”

Duke grinned. “Fine. Fine.”

Time passed as the three of them watched the show.

Other family members slowly made their way over one by one. Damian brought the cat with him. Jason came over to give his brain a break after all the reading he had done (and then, when Marinette pointed out that you never take breaks while reading good books, had gone straight back to Harry Potter). Steph decided she didn’t want to pass her class and came to lay across the top of the couch. Dick eventually got tired and rested his body after the intense game that is Beat Saber.

… B released her at almost exactly three thirty. They ignored their comms in favor of continuing to watch the season finale.

~

Marinette bit her lip anxiously as she preemptively turned off the notifications on her phone. Tim did the same.

They typed up matching tweets about how they were moving in with their partners, tagged each other...

Their fingers hovered over the tweet buttons.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I’m sure one of my siblings will do something stupid in a few days and the media will leave us alone,” said Tim.

She smiled awkwardly. “That isn’t what I’m worried about.”

He frowned just a little and slipped his arm around her. “Well, can I help with whatever it is?”

She hesitated. It would be better to warn him, she supposed. “Not really. You’re going to get the ‘shovel talk’ --.”

“My dad is Batman, Bean, I’ll live.”

“-- by the person who currently controls the embodiment of chaos and destruction.”

His face paled a little (which is dangerous, considering he was already pale enough). “Does Chat Noir not know we’re dating yet?”

“Nope.”

“... so he’s going to find out through the media?”

“Yep.”

“Shit.”

She nodded her agreement, curling into his side and glaring at the phone.

Adrien was going to be pissed. Especially since he was going to learn through the media. Sure, that was the intention, she was hoping that Tim would be left more or less alone because her friend would be too busy being hurt about not being told to focus on his anger at her boyfriend… but, yikes, she didn’t really want to deal with that just yet.

Also, she thought with a wince, Adrien was going to be even angrier when he figured out that she hadn’t exactly given up, as he called it, ‘stalking’ the people she was interested in. Marinette was pretty sure that Tim already knew about some of it but she wasn’t completely sure and, just in case, she wanted to keep it a secret for a while… a few years, at least, and she wanted to be the one to tell him because she was sure that Adrien would be a lot harsher about it than she would. He already called it ‘stalking’ when it was clearly different, she didn’t want to know what he would say if she let him talk about it in more depth.

Unfortunately, though, Adrien wasn’t stupid. He’d eventually catch on. The longer they dated without him knowing the guiltier he would assume she was.

She sighed and took his face in her hands. “I’m leaving it up to you. I’m not sure. I’m leaning towards being public but...”

He bit his lip as he considered it. She fought the urge to stretch his face until he let go.

He smiled hesitantly. “Well, I’ve lived long enough, I think.”

“Don’t worry, darling, I’ll summon a lucky charm for you,” she half-joked.

He gave a puff of laughter that wasn’t quite real and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Thanks, Bean, but I doubt that’ll be necessary. This is Gotham, no one dies here.”

“We don’t know how long that’ll take, though,” she said with a pout. “I’d prefer to have you back as soon as possible.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’ll always have my siblings.”

“But I want you,” she huffed. “You’re my favorite.”

She felt his cheeks warm beneath her hands.

“I’m your second favorite,” he reminded her. “Cass.”

She snickered. “True. You’re my favorite until Cass accepts my proposal.”

“Hm. I’ll have to enforce the bro code to make sure that never happens.”

“Oh no! I guess I’ll be stuck with you forever, then. What a shame!”

He smiled brightly. Sometimes she lamented the fact that he didn’t give a lot of genuine smiles. The grins and smirks were nice, of course, but she liked to watch the way he would duck his head slightly to try and cover his face with his bangs. Still, in the privacy of her own head, she had to admit that the fact she could get such a smile out of him when few others could made her heart rate spike. He smiled for her. Who wouldn’t be flattered by that?

She pulled the smile that she loved so much down for a kiss.

~

The first time they stepped out the door as an official couple they were hounded by reporters.

Tim wanted to ask how they knew where they lived. He settled for asking them to blur the area around them.

It was more than a little annoying to be harassed on your way to the grocery store. They had just wanted eggs, milk (Marinette kept leaving it out for some strange reason), some cat food, and enough miscellaneous snacks to keep Cass occupied. They did not want cameras shoved in their faces.

But years of being public figures had trained them to keep pleasant smiles on their faces and to answer questions with as little information as possible.

Finally, though, they made it inside and a manager kicked out the reporters.

Marinette let her shoulders slump a little beneath his arm and Tim flexed the muscles in his face before it could get stuck in that awkward half-smile forever.

He squeezed her a little. “You alright?”

She shrugged as much as she could without displacing his arm. “Yeah. Just… hate reporters.”

He nodded his understanding. He pressed a kiss to her temple.

“Want to buy some Oreos while we’re here?”

Her face lit up. “Can we?”

“I’m rich. Of course we can.”

And, so, they did. He made a mental note to start buying oreos in bulk. All the flavors, just in case she ever got sick of the normal version.

They glanced out the door and, though they couldn’t see the paparazzi waiting just outside, they were sure that they would be back soon. They ducked through back alleys to try and get away.

Only to stop in the middle of a dark alley at the high-pitched cry of: “Give me your money or else!”

Tim sighed and set down the cat food to hand over everything in his pockets. A glance back at Marinette confirmed she was doing the same --.

And then he stopped short. He turned more fully to look at their mugger and then started to laugh.

“I’ll… I’ll kill you!” Said the mugger, who was just a kid. They might not have even hit puberty yet.

“With a pocketknife?” Tim said.

Marinette turned around as well at that and a grin spread across her face. “Oh my gods, that’s so lame.”

“It’s Gotham, you gotta do better than that,” said Tim. He reached into his pockets and pulled out a butterfly knife. He handed it over. “Here, have this, at least. Christ, that’s terrible.”

The kid didn’t seem to know what to do about the fact that his would-be victims were laughing at her and apparently helping her mug people.

Marinette handed over everything except for the necklace Tim had given her. “Here, kid. And get a mask or something to hide your face, it’s not nearly dark enough in here for you to just go with a hood.”

“Oh, and here’s my address,” added Tim. He typed it into his phone -- damn, he should have brought more than a pager -- and then handed it over. “We always have a lot of extra food, so if you ever need it just knock on the window.”

“... thanks?” said their now adoptive kid (they didn’t make the rules, this kid was theirs now).

“Yeah, yeah, no problem. Can we go now? One of his siblings is coming over soon and he will start our show without us.”

“Uh… sure?”

~

Marinette sat on the kitchen island, squinting at the cast on her arm. Was it worth taking off for the sake of doing work? Maybe --.

Tim’s voice crackled through her ear and she perked up a little at the sound, smiling. He was talking, greeting guests it seemed. Right. He had a meeting today, Janet had mentioned it earlier that morning.

Marinette sighed a little at the reminder that, while she might not care about her broken arm, her boyfriend did. Yeah. Tim would probably be stressed if she took off her cast before the doctor said it was okay. She settled to lay back on the counter, head resting on her good arm, and stare at the ceiling as she listened to his voice...

Only to dart up when she felt a tap on her arm.

She looked over, eyes blown wide, and only relaxed slightly when she realized she recognized the person.

Adrien stood over her, arms crossed over his chest despite the glasses/miraculous he had hooked to the collar of his shirt, but he apparently wasn’t angry enough to not accept the usual kisses on both cheeks that Parisians did as greeting.

He said something that she couldn’t really understand with the part of her brain still concentrated on Tim explaining some sort of chart.

She sighed and reached a hand to her ear to turn off the bug. “Hey, can you repeat that?”

He didn’t. Instead he squinted at her ear suspiciously. “Does your ear hurt?”

“... no?” She said slowly, a little confused.

“Whatcha listening to?”

She paled. Shit. He was going to be pissed (or, at least, more pissed than he already was) if he found out that her supposed ‘stalking’ was getting worse. She needed an excuse.

“Uh, that one rapper, uh --.”

“BS. You don’t listen to rappers.”

He held a hand out and, reluctantly, she handed it over to him. She might as well get her murder over with.

He set it in his ear and, after a few attempts, turned it on. His face soured even more, somehow.

“This better not be who I think it is.”

She gave a tentative half-smile.

That was all the answer he needed. He grabbed her by the back of her shirt and started dragging her through the streets.

No one helped. Not that she expected them to, it was Gotham, but it was still a little hurtful.

Adrien stopped suddenly after a few minutes of walking.

“... wait… where’s his office?”

[raindancer2004]

A mate for Christmas? - Felix

Word Count: 1,379 Felix x Swan reader Oneshot Warnings: Fluff

Felix –

Demetri, Felix and the twins joined Aro and Marcus at the Cullen’s house for Christmas; Caius refusing to go as he knew the ‘Dog’ would be there. “Caius sends his apologies Carlisle, but he couldn’t join us for Christmas. He decided to stay back and keep things in order at the castle” “I understand Aro. We’re glad that you, Marcus and the guard would come” Carlisle replied.

Carlisle led them upstairs to where the rest of the family were waiting; including Y/N Swan, Bella’s sister.

Felix noticed her the moment he entered the room; Y/C hair, Y/C eyes and your scent hit him like no other had before ‘Blueberry and Vanilla’ He felt a pull towards her and a knowing smile from Marcus confirmed it; Y/N Swan was his mate.

The Cullens exchanged gifts and Y/N handed him a small gift neatly wrapped in blue wrapping paper with silver Stags “For you.” He took the gift and gave her a small smile; opening it revealed a Mario Kart video game “Thank you Y/N. it’s great” Felix thanked her with a smile. “Edward mentioned you liked playing games especially ones where you can play against the other guards” Y/N said “I do, it’s a good way to relax after long missions or a day of trials” Felix replied “I feel bad though as I do not have gift for you” He added “That’s ok I wasn’t expecting anything. I just wanted you to have a gift to open” She replied softly and Felix smiled at her.

“Hey Felix would you like to play the Switch with me?” Emmett asked “Sounds good. Want to play too Y/N?” Felix asked her “I’d like that but I’m not very good” She replied back “That’s ok. Mario Kart is relatively easy. The aim of the game is to win the race, whilst sabotaging the other people in the race” Felix told her smiling “I think I’ll watch you two play for a bit first” She replies giving him a smile.

Emmett set up the console and loads the game, passing Felix a controller they both get comfortable on the sofa. Y/N goes to sit at the other end of the sofa only to be stopped by a hand on her arm “Sit with me” Felix says and gently pulls Y/N down onto his lap “Just watch what I do” He says low and she nods back in response.

“Aww look at you two, getting all cosy. Who would have guessed that the big scary vampire would cradle a fragile little human in his arms” Emmett said teasing, Felix growled at him although Emmett ignored him and continued to comment on Felix and Y/N seating arrangement, Rosalie rolled her eyes at her mate’s behaviour “Really Emmett” She said under her breath. “Hey guys look, the Volturi’s executioner is allowing a human to sit on his lap, who would have thought it?” Emmett called out to his brothers, who chuckled at the site of Y/N seated upon Felix’s lap. Demetri and the twins also found it amusing as Y/N was tiny compared to their giant vampire friend. “I’m going to demolish you Cullen” Felix practically growled the words out. Y/N wasn’t sure how to feel about sitting so close to a vampire, especially one that usually ate humans, but something about him told her she was safe with him.

Y/N sat there watching Felix and Emmett race each other, keeping score on who won the most races; the answer was Felix, but not by much “I will not be bested by a veggie vamp” Felix said and Emmett laughed “Try harder then, old man.” This earnt him another low growl from Felix, Y/N couldn’t help laughing at the two of them.

“May I try and play now Felix?” Y/N asked low, a small smile on her lips “Of course you can, here” Felix handed her the controller and watched as she took on Emmett, her competitive streak coming through as time went on “Take that Veggie” She cried out as she hits Emmett’s character with a blue shell “That’s my girl” Felix says proudly, making Y/N blush.

A few hours later Felix and Y/N found themselves alone “Can I ask you a question?” Y/N asked low “Of course, you can ask me anything” Felix replied and watched as Y/N fiddled with the hem of her top, a sign that she was nervous "D-did you mean what you said before...about me being your girl?" Y/N asked not looking up at him. He placed a finger under her chin and lifted her head gently “Yes. I meant it. You are my girl and always will be little one” Y/N looked a little shocked as his declaration. “What do you know about mates?” “Not a lot really. Only that Bella and Edward share a blood singer mate bond, whereas the other Cullens share a non-blood singer bond but I don’t really understand it” Felix nodded “Let me explain then. Vampires have mates, soulmates to be exact. We only get one mate in our lifetime, therefore if we lose them we become heartbroken, sad and eventually depressed as we lose a part of ourselves” Felix paused for a moment allowing her to take in the information, Y/N nodded at him and he continued “We know when we have met our mate as we feel a pull towards them, a need to be near them, a need to protect them” His fingers gently stroked her cheek, her eyes fluttered closed at his touch “So I am your mate?” Her voice was low as she looked into his ruby coloured eyes, he nodded “Yes” He replied low, a smile on his lips, she smiled back at him, but then her smile dropped as a thought crossed her mind “Wh-what if you change your mind about us…about me?” He cupped her face in his hands and looked down at her “Vampires only fall in love once and it’s permanent…nothing changes that, even if we were to have a disagreement our love for one another wouldn’t falter…ever” Felix assured her, placing his cold lips to her forehead. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her “You were born to be with me and me alone. I have waited a very long time to meet you and now that I have you, I am never going to let you go” She pulled away slightly and looked up him, her hands gripped his jumper and she pulled him down so she could kiss his cheek “I’m sorry I made you wait so long” She whispered “Don’t be…fate ensured we met when we were meant to, after all I was created long ago…and you my darling girl are more than worth the wait” He pressed his lips to hers in a soft kiss and felt her relax into him.

He smiled into the next kiss, and the next and the next until she tapped his chest lightly “Need to breath Felix” She mumbled against his lips, he chuckled lightly and pulled away allowing her to breath “Sorry…your lips are so warm and soft and…I caught up in the moment” If he could blush, his cheeks would be pink “It’s ok, I like kissing you too, just remember I need to breath…for now” She smiled at him before pulling him back down for another kiss.

Y/N agreed to go to Volterra with Felix choosing to spend forever with her mate, although she was sure living in a castle full of vampires would be a little strange, difficult even, but she knew that with Felix by her side she could deal with anything. “I will always protect you Y/N, whether you’re human or immortal. I love you more than anything in this world” Felix told her as he held her in his arms. They were on the cuddled up on the sofa in their shared room watching the snow fall “I love you too” Y/N replied, turning her head slightly and placing a kiss to his cheek.

Christmas became Felix’s favourite holiday after that and he made sure to celebrate it every year for eternity for it doubled as his and Y/N’s anniversary; the day he finally found his soulmate and got his happily ever after.