#There are so many things that sound so insane without (and with) context - like the canonical M!preg

[chrollosnenfish]

I know I haven’t posted in a hell of a long time

but I just wanted to say that I finished the Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint almost a week ago and I am in my ORV era. I have been perusing the ORV tag on tumblr, the ORV subreddit, ORV art on Pinterest, ORV stuff on AO3 (mainly Joongdok and Sangsoo, with some YooHanKim thrown in there), and I’m so glad that it feels like I’ve only scratched the surface on what ORV content there is out there.

This story was one of the greatest works of fiction I’ve ever read, with amazingly written characters, great relationships between each of the characters, a plot that’s to die for, and twists that made sense (that didn’t seem like they were just for shock-value). Hard topics are covered in a tasteful way, and it’s the best found family dynamic I’ve ever read.

Just wanted to go on a little ORV rant and recommend it to anyone who is thinking about reading it. It takes up a bit of time, but you’ll breeze through it when you really get into it. I think it took me a solid two weeks cuz I was reading it during all of the free time I had, but if you’re reading casually, then it’ll take you longer.

Also, if this is the first time you’re hearing about ORV, then I would recommend catching up to the manhwa, then either starting again from the start of the web novel, or starting from where the manhwa ended (there’a usually a comment on webtoon telling everyone the chapter of the webnovel that the manhwa chapter ended)

I also made this matching Lock Screen and Home Screen pair

[alchemistc]

"When was it for you?" Buck asks, chin tucked over the nice rounded edge of Tommy's left pec, turning his eyes up through his lashes because every time he does that Tommy's eyes do something soft and sweet that Bucks still a little obsessed with. Tommy's fingers continue twisting into his curls, but he raises the 'need more context' brow. Buck obliges. "The - the spark. Like - I mean you had to kiss me for me to get what was going on but uh - I mean subconsciously I was in it to win it from like, the moment I saw how smiley you got seeing Cap and Athena reuniting. So. I'm wondering. What was it for you?"

There's still times when Buck feels like he's going too fast, too hard, pressing and pushing and reverting back to the neediness of yesteryear, but Tommy does this thing - this insane thing that shouldn't comfort Buck at all but somehow manages to both bring him back down to earth and make him feel like he's not alone in this: he takes his time. A measured breath, a quiet look, pressure on his scalp as Tommy thinks the question through without looking like he's being rushed at all. Measured. Processing both the new information he's been given, the little snapshot into what had first drawn Buck in, and the question he's been asked. If Buck had realized thoughtfulness meant so fucking much to him he'd have learned some patience years ago.

Tommy tips his chin, scratches at his cheekbone, stares at Buck like he's measuring out each word in his sentence recipe and setting up the ingredients of his response before he starts mixing.

"The handshake," he says, with a bashful little purse of his lips, like he hadn't expected he'd ever have to admit to it but he doesn't want to lie. "Just couldn't get a read on you for a while after."

Buck sort of wants to hide his face in Tommy's chest in response to the feelings that bubble up in his chest - the right-awayness of it, an immediate connection Tommy had felt even before he did, it feels like there are a thousand little pipe bombs bursting in his chest. No one's ever given him butterflies quite like Tommy Kinard.

"So it was like a physical thing for you," Buck says, fully fishing because Tommy has dated actual models and no matter how many minutes he spends each time they're naked together admiring the belly Buck's unwilling to dehydrate himself to get rid of, he likes hearing that his boyfriend thinks he's hot.

Tommy surprises him, though. "No, actually. You could barely get your name out but you wouldn't let go of my hand while you gave me five facts about helicopters you'd clearly googled on the ride over. Sorta made me want to stick you in my pocket and keep you there so you could provide me a fact-of-the-hour for the rest of my life."

Buck can feel his face going red. It's a mortifying observation, but it feels a lot like all the affectionate teasing he gets on the daily from Hen and Chim. Feels like Tommy knows him well enough by now to know he likes being read for filth when it means he's being paid attention to.

"You want weird facts, I'll give you weird facts."

Tommy chuckles. The hand in his hair tugs, just a bit, like Tommy wants Buck's face closer to his face but doesn't feel like asking. Buck shifts his weight up into an elbow to oblige, gets a thumb sliding along his cheekbone for his efforts and a primetime view of Tommy's serious face as his eyes flit across Buck's. "I didn't expect you," he says, in the serious voice, the teasing edge falling away. "I didn't expect butterflies and second chances and -." He cuts himself off, thumb slipping towards the curve of Buck's nose. "I didn't expect any of it."

Which is a bit of a revelation, if Buck's being completely honest. Tommy'd taken his hand and smiled while Buck did his level best to break the sound barrier with the pace he set at the beginning of all of this. "You thought I'd be an easy lay?" he teases, and Tommy wrinkles his nose.

"Thought you'd be bored with me before I paid the check if I ever managed to get you on a date with me."

It's actually laughable, with the benefit of hindsight, how terribly wrong that assumption had been. Laughable that Tommy thinks he could ever be boring. Buck could spend hours just staring at the subtle changes in his expression in complete silence and still not be bored with Tommy.

"That's stupid," he tells him, and Tommy thumbs at his bottom lip.

"Well I know that now. You're easily entertained. I've told you the Yellowstone flyover story six times and you still laugh at the punchline every time like it's the first time you've ever heard it."

"Moon moon," Buck repeats solemnly, and has to bite his lip not to laugh about it again.

"I like you a lot," Tommy says, and - they've exchanged I love yous, but there's something about this particular phrase - like Tommy's dug into the very heart of all of Buck's insecurities and learned the exact phrase to burn all those question marks to the ground.

"Ditto," Buck says, because Tommy had been insistent on trying to find a romcom that Buck didn't fall asleep to and Ghost had actually kept his attention decently well. Or. You know. Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore had.

Tommy rolls his eyes. "Howie keeps giving me shit for all new movie quotes you keep bringing out at inappropriate times."

"Quoting Clerks at Captain Fuckstache is always appropriate."

"We'll watch Dogma next. See if you can find any gems in that one that'll drive that asshole into an early grave."

"Are there dogs in it?"

"Are there -." Tommy's expression is so offended Buck thinks his eyes might explode. "Evan, even if you don't know the movie I know dogma is one of those SAT words you've found yourself on a Wikipedia black hole about."

Damn. And Buck had been hoping he'd get worked up enough to rant about Buck's serious gaps in knowledge in regards to pop culture. He hams it up a bit anyway. "It's when all the dogs are trying to get into heaven."

Tommy digs three fingers into Bucks side, and if they dissolve into a tickle fight five seconds later, Tommy has no one but himself to blame for the elbow to the face that nearly breaks his nose.

[mulletmitsuya]

Sano Groupchat (and closely affiliated)

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, the word necrophilia is mentioned twice, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of drugging, also a "description" of a penis (it's not what it sounds like i swear)

Side note: i've realized that my warnings without context, make me look like a crazy person so please bear with me 😔🙏

Desc: Mikey gets kidnapped by a crazy fan and so forth (i'm so bad at these, might remove them 💀)

Shinichiro: Mikey, we're glad to have you back. i'll release a statement saying you need to recover from the traumatizing situation you've just been through. just rest up okay?

Emma: yeah, we're here if you need anything :((

Izana: you're alive, so

Emma: Izana ☹️

Izana: ...

Izana: we are here to support you through difficult times

Izana: as your "siblings" 🙂

Shinichiro: what are the quotation marks for bud 😞✊?

Izana: my hand slipped

Shinichiro: oh okay then!

Mikey: guys

Shinichiro: Draken, how's the arrest going?

Draken: the girls trial is in a few weeks from now and she can't afford bail so she's locked up

Mikey: guys it's not that deep

Mikey: like, it's not as big of a deal as you're making it out to be

Izana: see? he's fine

Emma: YOU WERE MISSING FOR 2 WEEKS

Emma: YOU WERE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED BY A CRAZY FAN. IT'S A BIG DEAL

Mikey: but they didn't hurt me?? they made all my favourite snacks and food and tucked me into bed every night. which maybe was a little weird but i still liked it. i had a very good time actually. so why are we arresting her? she's chill fr

Draken: that's all she did?

Baji: how do you know she didn't drug you in your sleep and do things to you 🤨

Mikey: bro?

Shinichiro: Keisuke, that's a very sensitive topic for some people, so let's not say it so casually okay?

Baji: what?

Baji: is it a long shot to say Mikey was touched or something?

Baji: i mean, what other motives did she have

Baji: and you guys saw her tweets right? she's obsessed with you

Baji: wasn't she the one who calculated the circumference, length, girth and colour of your penis??

Draken: no that's another one

Baji: nvm

Baji: that was Haruchiyo

Haruchiyo: fuck off

Mikey: Baji we literally go to onsens together with Haruchiyo. you've all seen my penis 😐

Baji: hard and soft are two different things

Baji: you pervert

Haruchiyo: it wasn't me, what the fuck?

Haruchiyo: i'm too famous to be risking my reputation like that

Haruchiyo: i'd need a burner account no one could access, which i don't have

Haruchiyo: so no Baji, i don't have a Mikey fanpage

Haruchiyo: that would be crazy and weird and bordeline insane

Baji: i didn't say any of that?

Baji: and you are all 3 of those things🤨

Mikey: well whatever cause everyone was wrong. it's small

Mikey: you know what it's not even small. it's average for my size, actually

Mikey: i mean i'm 5'3 yk. what did people expect

Mikey: like, it would look weird if i had a big one

Mikey: it would be disproportionate to have a big one

Mikey: i see people saying "i know it's big😍" or stuff like "i wanna gag on it"

Emma: gross

Emma: why are you telling us this 😟

Mikey: which i find really flattering

Draken: flattering isn't the word i'd use

Mikey: yeah thats cause you're a fucking prude, Ken-chin

Draken: it's cause i have a wife, jackass

Emma: 😊❤

Mikey: but seriously it wouldn't make sense for me to have a big penis

Baji: excuses excuses 🙄

Mikey: my penis is fine

Baji: they gave you dick dysmorphia

Mikey: whatever it's not like i'll use it anyway

Baji: bottom?

Mikey: i just don't like sex 😐

Izana: are we here to listen to Mikey talk about his small dick or what

Shinichiro: yeah maybe we should... not

Mikey: well, yours is skinny so whatever

Shinichiro: no it's not 😕

Shinichiro: i've had many people compliment me for my size, actually

Izana: "many"

Izana: "people"

Mikey: we know it's not girls, just say you fuck men (Wakasa) dude

Baji: no girl wants you bro

Baji: (isn't it Takeomi?)

Mikey: (Takeomi is violently homophobic)

Baji: (oh yeah)

Haruchiyo: what are you guys doing

Mikey: (whispering)

Haruchiyo: you guys are texting

Haruchiyo: we can all see this

Haruchiyo: are you fucking dumb

Haruchiyo: not you, Mikey

Mikey: thanks Haru 😋

Baji: he was doing it too???

Baji: i get why Takeomi was homophobic 😒

Baji: (when are you going to address his crush on you, Mikey)

Mikey: (it's not a crush, you ever heard of bff's, Keisuke🙄?)

Baji: (that's like saying me and Kazutora are bff's)

Mikey: (you are?)

Baji: (i'm in love with him)

Mikey: (oh yeah)

Mikey: (but Haru isn't in love with me)

Baji: (he probably creams his pants when you use that nickname)

Haruchiyo: i can see this

Haruchiyo: you aren't "whispering"

Haruchiyo: IT'S A FUCKING GROUPCHAT

Draken: does this matter?

Draken: we were talking about the fact that Mikey was kidnapped

Draken: Baji is right, something really bad could have happened if they have you longer

Draken: along with the statement, we need to talk to your fans man

Draken: this is a line crossed

Baji: no shit

Baji: also, why didn't you, i don't know, fight back and escape or something?

Mikey: i didn't want to hit a girl 😔

Mikey: like i said, i enjoyed my time there

Mikey: knew you guys would find me eventually so it was like, a side quest

Draken: of course you'd call a kidnapping a side quest

Emma: how'd she even kidnap you?

Mikey: she saw me at a convenience store and they'd run out of my favourite sweeties

Mikey: and i was whining about it to the cashier, so i guess she overheard

Mikey: and she said she had some in her car

Mikey: so i go there with her

Mikey: then she asked for an autograph

Mikey: then i'm pretty sure she drugged me with chloroform or something cause i was out

Emma: chloroform isn't like the movies. it takes a while to knock someone out, so that's not really likely unless you stood there and took it

Mikey: ...

Mikey: ok fine, do you want me to say i fell asleep in her car? huh?

Mikey: cause that's what i did

Izana: it's like you *want* to die or something

Izana: nvm

Baji: are you stupid or something

Draken: Mikey

Draken: you are 25 years old

Draken: and you're telling me

Draken: that you fell for the "hi kid, want some candy?" trick

Draken: are you fucking serious

Shinichiro: Mikey...

Shinichiro: you could have gone to another store 🙁

Shinichiro: i almost lost you

Shinichiro: because of jellybeans? really?

Mikey: they're my favourite sweet okay ☹️

Mikey: and i was lazy and tired

Mikey: hence, falling asleep

Baji: he has to have necrophilia or something

Shinichiro: i don't think that's the word buddy

zana: "necrophilia"

Izana: didn't you graduate?

Baji: working on it 💪

Izana: ah alright

Izana: what's your IQ?

Baji: below average

Mikey: Baji, don't tell people that ☠️

Izana: ...

Izana: wow he actually answered me

Emma: *sigh*

Draken: what's the point of tying out your physical actions

Emma: shut up a little babe

Draken: ok

Emma: what Baji meant, was necormancy

Draken: that's incorrect, babe

Emma: omg can we just wrap this up

Izana: both of you are wrong 💀

Izana: what is wrong with you people

Izana: necrophilia= sexual attraction to a dead body

Izana: necormancy= communication with dead people

Izana: narcolepsy= condition characterized by an extreme tendency to sleep

Izana: i'm assuming you guys meant to say the third one, for Mikey

Izana: holy shit

Emma: no need to be mean about it 😒

Baji: i'll add those to my "new words" list

Mikey: maybe i do have that

Mikey: i do fall asleep in very odd places

Emma: you know what we can talk about this tommorow. time out

*only admins can send messages*

[ceilidhtransing]

I feel like so much shitty discourse could be avoided if people more consciously bore in mind the fact that Mainstream Society and The Queer Community are, you know, meaningfully different spaces that often have different social phenomena and different issues.

Random example, there'll be a discussion about femininity often being prized over masculinity, especially transmasculinity, in some queer spaces. And there'll be a bunch of transmasculine people talking about being made to feel unwelcome once they came out, feeling pressured to identify as nonbinary rather than as a binary man as that receive less hostility, being increasingly isolated and othered once they started T, feeling pressured to act more feminine and GNC, being told that their presence as a man makes others in the space uncomfortable, etc.

And then inevitably someone will respond with something like “OP what fucking planet are you on. You're fucking insane if you think femininity is prized over masculinity in society. And the idea that nonbinary people have privilege over binary trans people - what is this fucking enbyphobic bullshit? God, some people are so stuck in an echo chamber of terminally online tumblr queers with their invented problems that they've forgotten what it's like in the real world.”

But was the discussion about wider mainstream society? Or was it very particularly about the queer community and issues that these people have faced specifically within that community?

The queer community is a subculture (arguably many subcultures but let's try to keep it simple), and it's totally, utterly standard for subcultures to - even deliberately, as an act of pushback - value different things from the mainstream culture. Aesthetics thought of as “weird” or “[insert slur here]” by the mainstream can be highly prized in the queer community. Identities that are all thought of as equally “fucked-up” and “cringe” by the mainstream can find themselves organised into some weird hierarchy of validity and oppressed-ness within the community. Politics which are considered extremely fringe and radical by the mainstream can be considered the default norm, even a necessity, in the queer community. Gender expressions that are seen as the most basic “normal” thing ever in the mainstream can be devalued by the queer community for “not looking queer enough” or “being straight-passing”. And none of this is a contradiction because this is pretty much how subcultures operate! They assert different values and cultural norms from the culture they exist within and that's partly what makes them subcultures.

So if someone's pointing out “I face this issue specifically when I'm interacting with queer spaces”, it doesn't do the conversation any good to assume that they're talking about mainstream society and attack them for “being deluded about how the real world works” or “inventing fake problems to sound more oppressed” or something. (And the inverse - someone pointing out “I face this issue when I'm interacting with the mainstream” and someone else responding with “I don't know what you're talking about; I never face that issue at all [in my exclusively queer friend group and support network]” - is far rarer, but it does still happen, and it's just as unhealthy for the discussion. Probably the most common example of this I can think of is when cis gay and lesbian people discuss homophobia they've faced, for instance to do with their gender expression, and someone goes “but that doesn't happen, because actually cis gays are a privileged group and I've never seen anyone attack their presentations” - yes, because the frame of reference you're using is the queer community, where being gay is pretty much the expected default, and you're forgetting that in mainstream society, even cisgender gays and lesbians are by no means “a privileged group” that experiences no oppression ever.)

People need to be able to discuss issues in the specific social contexts they're talking about without it being basically guaranteed that someone will misinterpret them and start jumping down their throat in anger at something that wasn't even said or implied. It is so bad for the community when people seemingly can't fathom that the dynamics at play might be different within queer spaces versus out in mainstream society and it leads to so much pointless toxicity and aggressive misunderstanding.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for criticizing the way my(27m) boyfriend(22m) compliments me?

It's a matter of how often (too often, imo), and the manner of "compliment." He calls it "being nice to me" but on my end, it simply feels too vague to really be about me, and more specifically it's the kind of thing that a fictional character would say about their loved one while delirious on cold medicine or something, except my bf is usually awake and sober when he does this, and it's every single day.

More specifically and objectively: "You're beautiful to me." "You're like an angel." "You're so important to me." etc. A lot of "to me"s. And quite genuinely, it's basically always said like someone kinda high on morphine? though at absolute worst he's kinda tired, and he'll still say it like that if he's perfectly awake.

It's this sort of thing every day, with this sort of jokingly lofty language, always when I don't feel I've done anything in particular to warrant it. Like, *I* never say stuff like this in a situation that isn't already deeply intimate and significant, but he says it seemingly just in response to me existing next to him. And for a while I smiled along and said thank you and I love you too but after some time it just started to run together so much that I got deeply annoyed by it and started telling him to stop. When I do he becomes upset and starts to say that he's just trying to be nice, and I try to explain that it's just the same thing every day and it feels kind of meaningless. But he just goes on about how it's insane that i'm critiquing his compliments.

From what he tells me, it seems on his end of things he's technically being genuine and it's just a kind of limited vocabulary that makes his communication of his love for me Like That. I just still kind of can't stand hearing the same sort of fake-sounding "compliment" every single day at random times where they don't feel like they belong and I feel like I'm going crazy. I feel like I can't even explain my side with more depth to him without him getting more seriously upset, but he doesn't seem motivated to actually stop at all even though I've brought it up many times.

Some added context: We've been together for about 2 years and these sort of compliments with the frequency that I'm complaining about is relatively recent, for the past maybe 3-4 months. I am in fact his first partner, and I definitely see how that factors into him wanting to say things like this to me. It's just the like... continuing to do it.

AM I crazy? I really can't tell who's the normal one here. But like... I just want to actually earn it if I'm gonna get told something like that. And I feel like it would inherently mean more if he saved it FOR those moments that I earned it. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[delta-lethonomia]

ok depresso week is over, back to deliberate hyperfixation on bg3:

It is absolutely wild to me that people take Astarion to the foursome with the drow twins (romanced, spawn, post-cazador) and are shocked, shocked I tell you, that he has a bad time. But it leads me to think that there's an interesting conversation to be had here about morality applied to video games. I'm going to be using what's a bit of a strawman tbh, what I would consider an archetypical, "good person" gamer for this niche example.

(3k essay under the cut about irl morals vs video game behavior, my take on why Astarion agrees to the orgy, beating the dead horse of Astarion discourse now that the fandom has cooled off enough I might not get flogged for it, and all my election stress being translated into an increasingly bitchy narrative voice that I hope is at least mildly amusing.)

"Good Person Gamer" romances Astarion. They're probably female, which I am mentioning exclusively so I can turn that into "Good Girl Gamer" 😏, or G3. G3 picks nice dialogue options. G3 tries to support their companions, and finds diplomatic and moral solutions to problems. G3 saved the tieflings. G3 still romances Astarion because he's hot, and vulnerable, and it's not like he forces you to be evil - he just complains a bit when you save kittens stuck in trees, but you get that approval back anyway just by being nice to him. Talk him out of Ascension and you've proven to yourself he's got a good soul under all that attitude anyway. He'd healed! You banged on his grave! It's all good now!

The brothel is fun. The drow twins are hot. It's always fun when games lets you do spicy things like have threesomes and orgies! We're sex-positive! Look, the drow twins said they love their job! It's totally fine! G3, as most people, probably does not do these things in real life, but that's the fun in video games: you get to be someone you're not.

And then Astarion noticeably dissociates. He throws himself in the center and lavishes everyone with attention; he's a professional, you know. Even an unromanced Tav/Durge notices something's off, and Astarion replies something along the lines of "you don't have the right to look at me like that," presumably with worry, distress, or sympathy.

G3 is upset. They did everything right - they didn't want to hurt him, and Astarion himself said he wanted this. Why couldn't they stop midway through and remind him that he doesn't have to hurt himself? Why couldn't they talk about it afterwards, and clear the air? LARIAN WHY DO YOU HURT ME

Now, to all the G3's out there: if you were dating a person with extensive sexual trauma, having been raped literally thousands of times, would you suggest having a threesome/orgy? With prostitutes, if that's better or worse? Putting them on the spot before your mutual friends? Would you wait a few years to mention the idea, or would you do so only weeks/months into a relationship? Your first "I love you" might have only been yesterday.

And most people, I think, would say "No." Writing that scenario outside of the lens of a video game makes it sound insane - of course you wouldn't! I'm not saying that they should never have group sex or that it can't be done, but I think most people instinctively get how that would be a shitty thing to do in that context, especially without discussing it in depth beforehand and making sure you're both on the same page.

And this is the meat of the issue. Most gamers play good-aligned characters: there's a strong culture of wanting to play the hero and saving the day. But tied into that cultural monomyth, in society itself, is the idea that sex is a reward at the end. You get sex at the end of the romance arc. The date where you have sex is one of many milestones, and you're not really dating if you haven't done it yet. Some people don't have sex until their wedding night. Threesome scenes especially are a video game classic: old-school God of War, for instance, had a hidden room in every game with scantily-clad women just waiting for you to button-mash away, a little treat for the player's keen puzzle-solving abilities.

Not all romances in BG3 have sex or end with sex, (some even start with sex), but that is because BG3's character writing tries to ground itself in reality despite being a medium people utilize for fantasy. Role-playing a "good" character is mostly easy: you typically know which dialogue choice is the ethical choice, can chide Astarion for being racist, can save the numerous children with moral ease - and BG3 rewards this: a good playthrough is more fleshed out, because you haven't killed off half the cast. You get better gear. You have more allies, better allies. You know what to do.

Or, well, mostly. BG3 is kind of special imo because even the good choices have a lot of nuance, where two people can make different choices but still feel like they both picked the most ethical one. Take Shadowheart's parents, for example: they beg for her to let them go so they can die and save their daughter. Saving them leaves Shadowheart in Shar's clutches - she will experience pain for the rest of her life, but regains her parents, and with luck, Selûne will claim her soul when she dies. Kill them, and Shadowheart is free - truly free, to live her life on her own terms, free from Shar and Selûne both. Both can be the ethical choice, depending on your morals.

"But if Astarion didn't want to have the threesome, the game should have let me stop midway through/made it clearer that this would happen. He said no before Cazador - why couldn't he say no again? Why would Larian put me in this position and make me feel bad when I thought everything was alright? I wanted to be good and have fun, not feel like I pressured my boyfriend." - Strawman G3.

Because BG3 treats it's characters like people. Multiple companions make choices outside of what the player character decides for them - Shadowheart's decision to save or kill her parents, kill or save the Nightsong, or Gale, to go for the crown or not depend on what events they are there to witness personally, or can be informed by conversations you have in camp about unrelated issues. You can fully let them make their own decisions and be surprised each time as they develop into different people with each successive playthrough. A lot of people are surprised when Gale goes for the Crown of Karsus without their input. In my last multiplayer playthrough, we could not prevent Shadowheart from wanting to kill the Nightsong, and so we were forced to kill her.

Astarion is not like that. The way he talks about Ascension changes depending on your relationship. If you're merely friends, he acknowledges it's probably a bad idea, even, in direct contrast to the somewhat obsessive and frightening way he pursues it in a romantic relationship. But Astarion can't decide what to do at the end: he has no hidden point system, no hidden flags - he will always pursue Ascension even if he knows it's a bad idea, because Astarion does not trust himself, has no experience trusting himself, and needs help. As counter-intuitive as it may sound, he needs support to make his own decisions, because in that moment, he cannot be objective.

(If Astarion is ever objective is another story....)

So much of Astarion's reactions and opinions are instinctive and unthinking. "Don't let the pixie out of the lantern, are you an idiot?" -> "A pixie! And honest-to-goodness pixie! *giggles*"

"We don't need a urchin hanging around." -> Astarion approves if you help Yenna

etc. etc. etc. There's so many times he says one thing, the cruel thing, the "fuck everyone else, I've got mine"-thing, and then approves when you do the good thing. Astarion does not live in line with his values (besides pursuing a growing need for freedom) and he frankly does not really know what his values even are.

Astarion doesn't react with glee to finding all the people he seduced - who inadvertently raped him, though they didn't know, some lowlifes and scoundrels and people having a bad day and even some sweet, naive virgins like Sebastian, who took that smoking hot Elf on his word and followed him home, probably in disbelief someone so gorgeous would pay them any attention at all - tortured and locked in a dungeon underground. He's crushed by guilt. He's in pain. Astarion delights in you causing others pain (the torture scene) because it aligns with his worldview, the joy of seeing someone else suffer for once. But he's not a cold-hearted murderer. (And yes, I am differentiating between "adventurer kills a bandit" murder and "deliberately killing someone you know for reasons/no reason" murder.) He doesn't hurt anyone in camp - Shadowheart and Lae'zel are far more dangerous than him. You never have to stop him from drinking anyone else to death. Even if you never feed him again, never use his bite attack, he never bites anyone in camp. Despite being a vampire, Astarion is, effectively, harmless. (Bite night was about checking whether or not Cazador's old command's still worked. It's his first real attempt at freedom, proving to himself that he's free from compulsion. Hence why the roll to get him to stop is a 5, giving you a 75% likelihood of succeeding. He doesn't actually want to kill you. And you get two chances!!!)

Astarion doesn't enjoy death for the sake of death. He's terrified if you side with the goblins and kill the tieflings despite goading you into doing it. I don't doubt that he could hurt others (god knows he's got enough feelings to work out that way), but there's a significant difference between a little knife play and condemning thousands of people to be tortured in the Hells for all eternity. Sacrificing his siblings is different, because they, like him, are guilty, and deserve their deaths. He agrees to sacrifice his fellow spawn as an act of self hatred, of self harm. But all those other people stupid enough to want to sleep with him? Given a day to think about it, I think Astarion would agree that that's not right - and that's why he thanks you for preventing his Ascension. That much murder isn't him. He can be thoughtless, cruel, and unkind, but Astarion isn't a psychopath.

Take him to the brothel, and slipping back into that role, the seductive rake, it as easy as breathing. I don't think Astarion has ever thought about if he's the type of person to enjoy group sex, or even if he wants it. I don't doubt that Astarion enjoys sex, that he wants to have sex (he is, after all that, still shockingly horny), but he's just discovered the idea of having sex with someone he loves. He's riding that high. Of course he says yes: not only is he a different man now (he's free!), it's something he's done a thousand times already - maybe it'll be different this time, maybe something has changed - or maybe, an orgy was on offer, so of course Astarion is there. It's his purpose. He's been doing it for 200 years. Where else would he be?

What I'm saying is that Astarion didn't think about what sleeping with the drow twins meant for your relationship, or how he would feel about it at all. He just went for it. He had a bad time. You then don't discuss it because that would mean admitting that he finally made a choice by himself and it backfired. He didn't think, or maybe he did, and it turns out he just doesn't know himself. Why discuss it? A relationship with G3 apparently means group sex. They probably asked twice. They backtracked all the way to Wyrm's Crossing post-Cazador. Will they ask again? How many times can he say no?

In reality, in the real world, the act of asking can be the problem in and of itself. If your significant other/spouse/lover asks you to do something you don't want to do, be it a threesome, anal, opening the relationship etc, these actions have consequences. The act of asking doesn't happen in a vacuum like it does in video games: there is a cost associated with it, a gamble, and while it may pay off, it may not. Some people get worn down and agree to things they don't want to do. Sometimes you break up because the act of asking is so inherently disrespectful you can't reconcile your differing wants and needs. If you're dating someone who has experienced the gut-wrenching pain of being cheated on, you don't ask 2 months into a new relationship if you can fuck other people. This should not come as a surprise to you, to G3, to anyone. It's common sense.

BG3 giving you the opportunity for a foursome with Astarion not only to give the player their hot'n'spicy sex scene (then playfully bops you on the nose by making it a fade-to-black, you naughty little perverts, you), but also to continue its theme of treating the player like a mature adult, who is dealing with other mature adults, and who can and should live with the consequences of their own actions. Subsequent patches have watered this down, I admit, but I do believe that that was the ethos guiding their work from the beginning. BG3 wants you to interact with the characters like people. If you roll over and tell them what they want to hear, you will Ascend Astarion, and he'll enslave you in turn. If you agree with Gale on everything, he will kill himself and you - or, he'll become a god, becoming the exact sort of god he used to rail against. Agree with Karlach, and she will rather die than go back to the Hells. You get my point.

"But Larian could have let me check in on Astarion midway through. Maybe it was a mistake to ask, but they should have let me check on him and stop it all if he wanted. I was trying to trust him to make his own decisions." - Strawman G3

Ok. We add a dialogue option. "Astarion, love, are you alright? We can stop at any time if you want."

Astarion disapproves (-5)

He's not backing out. Thank you for asking, darling, but fuck off. (I don't think he'd actually say fuck off but the implicit message would be there. I can't see Astarion stopping midway through, nor appreciating you doubting him. Nothing changes.)

"But I still feel bad." - Strawman G3

And I completely understand that. It's a video game. Don't worry! Of course you should get your sex scene - it's a reward! You got their approval high enough! You have enough charisma points! In DA:O, you can also have an orgy, unlocked by giving your companions enough gifts! It's a game! You have enough points, you get the thing!!! You killed Cazador - you win! Have your cake and eat it too! Congrats, you unlocked your hot slutty vampire elf who's basically a trained courtesan, who needs you to be his moral compass, who will never leave you so long as you don't actively rape him - enjoy all the fun orgies in your future!

Your actual choice - the choice the game gives you - is to realize that taking what's essentially a human trafficking victim to a brothel is a dumb idea, but they didn't want to punish you for it.

"Well, Astarion should have said something then. He said no before, he can say no again." - Strawman G3

If you go through life pushing peoples boundaries and expect them to verbally tell you what you're doing wrong, you're gonna be friendless and have a bad time. This ties back to both Astarion having difficulty knowing and defending his own values, BG3 trying to let you make your own decisions without setting out a clear "good or bad" path on occasion, and the hope that you'd use your own morals to make decisions. G3 would never behave in this way irl, and that's where the shock comes from, the guilt from committing an action they thought was without consequence in a risk-free fantasy scenario, and then feeling unpleasantly surprised when called out.

But it's a video game, and you didn't get the little zap, the little sting of an Astarion disapproves in the corner that told you you made the wrong choice. In fact, because he doesn't disapprove, it's not actually the wrong choice!

It really was mean how the Narrator made G3 feel bad, wasn't it. They didn't mean to hurt him. Astarion doesn't mention it, so it's probably fine.

... have you talked to Halsin yet? Surely he had a good time. Right?

CONCLUSION

People think they're good and moral and will typically behave "heroically" in video games. Games support this and reward players for doing so. The "good path" is expected to be clear. However, video games are not real life no matter how much they play at immersion, and multiple games have trained players in a linear "do x, receive y" type fashion. Sex is a reward in games, and is treated that way in real life as well, so players expect the Sharess' orgy scene to be a reward, and are then shocked when Astarion/Gale/Halsin etc reveal during or afterwards that they had a bad time. This is because Larian wants you to treat BG3 like a role playing game and interact with it seriously, and isn't afraid to boop you for your actions in ways that mimic real life relationships. This ethical dissonance makes people uncomfortable especially when they play games to role-play as someone better than themselves, and are surprised when they aren't herded down predetermined "good" paths via instantaneous approval/disapproval mechanics or unlockable "ideal" dialogue.

It is absolutely possible that someday Astarion might be into meaningless group sex with prostitutes for fun and pleasure. However, that is the sort of thing you'd probably either wait for him to bring up by himself organically, or discuss in a long-term trusting relationship after he's had potentially years to process the idea of not immediately hopping into bed with someone, as well as disentangling his instinctive "beaten-in" sexually available behavior from his actual desires. People much more emotionally mature and undamaged than Astarion have destroyed their own relationships by inadvertently pushing a partner (or themselves) into various forms of group sex or other sexual acts. It's not something you do on a random Tuesday on a whim.

Or maybe it is, and I'm just chronically boring and surrounded by boring people lmao

TO THE POSTER THAT INSPIRED THIS: I'm so so sorry if you ever see this, not trying to call you out at all hence no linking, I just wanted to pick apart why I think you felt that way. The thoughts just finally bubbled over after a year+ lol

[drenix004]

𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐝 part2

Valeria Garza Headcanons

Part 1 here

Note: I plan to do headcanons of Valeria as chapters of Valeria's fanfic are published! besides, I also want to do the same with 141, Alejandro, Rodolfo, Valeria,Horangi and koning in different situations and contexts, especially if they are shapeshifters or hybrids feel free to ask for a headcanon, one shot or drable, I'll be happy to do it! And they'll be all soft, comforting and light angsty themes! Life is already too cruel and hard to make them suffer here too :)

Sadly there will be no smut or nsfw, I'm really bad at writing that kind of content, sorry. But, there will be slight superficial mentions of that as a reward.

Pairing: Valeria Garza x fem!Reader

Summary: You work at the bar of a night bar in Las Almas, you knew the menu backwards and forwards so you had a certain fame. One day you draw the attention of a certain narco when you kicked an idiot out of the establishment just as the armored van was passing by, not only did you draw attention because of the commotion, but also because not a sound came out of your mouth, not a whimper, curse or insult, nothing. Just a death stare at the man.

━━━━━━━━》❈《 ━━━━━━━

Valeria has always had women at her disposal, it was nothing more than something carnal, just physical. I had never had any other contact than that with people of the same sex.

●Until you came, you opened the forbidden door that The Nameless One kept in the depths of his being; their feelings.

●You reached to the depths of his being without realizing it, you were not a one-night stand. You are more than that to The Nameless.

●Now the consequences had to be paid.

●Valeria didn't let you go when you had already walked through that damn door, oh no.

● That's not how the game was played and Valeria was very clear about it, since you opened her forbidden place you were doomed.

 ● You were hers, as well as the consequences of having fallen in love with her to the point of insanity if possible.

●You calmed her inner demons, but you also teased them if she didn't have you around.

●Same as now.

●His office was a shit after a fit of rage, they hadn't heard from you for more than three days.

● Many bad scenarios had been generated in his head, did the rival cartel kidnap you?

●That couldn't be possible, even among criminals there was a code: never mess with one's family or partner. Something that could be very simple, but that was essential to avoid generating conflicts beyond the territory or the product.

 ●Although you were not Valeria's official partner, by now she had made it clear that she was very interested in you. 

 Valeria was getting tired after searching with no results, so she decides to investigate everything about you. She didn't want to do it because she wanted to respect your privacy, but that had already moved to another level.

●She found out that the name you gave her wasn't your real name, so she couldn't find you that easily... With your real name he was able to access your credit card records, he realized that you did not stay in the same place for more than two days in inns or small hotels.

 . ●Valeria recognized that pattern, you were running away. But what were you running from? It couldn't be her because she never gave you a reason to do it.

The more I researched about you, the more things came to light; you were three years younger than Valeria, you had gardening experience, years ago you had been admitted several times to the emergency room for assault injuries, but they never mentioned a neck injury.

●That fact became interesting to her, Valeria had noticed the scar on your neck that you tried to hide with chokers.

Valeria went to every hotel and inn you were in, looked at the security footage, and then left without saying a word. He had to admit that you were cunning, a challenge he liked.

●Unknowingly, you entered a hunting game, where you are the prey and Valeria was the hunter.

●Valeria followed your steps closely, the chase becoming more and more exciting, the beast within her moving violently every time it got closer and closer.

●But she was aware that she wasn't the only one chasing you, there was a man who was also looking for you; your brother. The man had complaints of domestic violence, and also had an arrest warrant and a restraining order.

●Valeria understood why you were running away, you were afraid that your brother would hurt you again. that's why you ended up in Las Almas.

●Valeria would help you escape your brother's clutches... to end up in his.

● Valeria was no saint, but at least her claws would be more careful and gentler than your brother's. She could not and would not change what she already was, but she could take care of you in his darkness. ●When she knew where you were, she left immediately. Your brother had also found your whereabouts.

●It was a race against the clock, who would get there first? ●Which demon would get to you first?

●You were the ray of light that the darkness wanted out of selfishness, to envelop you completely so that you could not escape, you were its complement… because without light there is no darkness.

Part3?

I had planned to upload this for hallowen, but I couldn't because I had an anxious crisis :) why do I feel this looks more like a one shot than a headcanon? anyway I liked how it turned out, I hope you do too. likes and reblogs are much appreciated!

[thecoolerliauditore]

saw a post that's actually making the gears turn in my head a bit about how Scott shouldn't cop so much blame for Pearl's social isolation in DL when he only recounted things she did and that Ren should be the focus because he was out there calling her a witch/demoness and I don't necessarily disagree. but I think it's worth saying at least for myself that Scott didn't Lie about Pearl's behaviour but he did purposefully leave out details that change things dramatically e.g. the axe crits happening Before Pearl started freezing herself thus him starting the cycle of abuse in the first place (not to mention this all stemming back to the nether thing).

and this is something you see a lot IRL with toxic relationships probably I'd argue more than just outright lying and insulting the other party, because "look at all these crazy things pearl did, isn't she bad" is a lot more easily agreed with than "pearl is crazy".

This is not me saying that like. Scott's not allowed to be freaked out about Pearl's more extreme behaviour like her breaking into his house. but it stands that he went out of his way to maliciously refer to her and isolate her when he and Cleo were her entire world.

The Missing Missing Reasons article is about parental abuse specifically, but I think this pattern of behaviour can also be applied to other relationships. I know this is an insane thing to source in mcyt posting but I really do think it's a good read everyone should experience at least once regardless of context.

"Witch", "demoness" and "crazy ex girlfriend" are all the same in that they are labels used to villainize a woman specifically. And I'd even go to say, in Pearl's case, they are all equally abstract since she and Scott were never in an actual relationship, he's just decided to call her that.

I never want to make it sound like I think Pearl is entirely angelic, she very much plays into the role she's given, but it remains as a role she was given rather than something innate to her character. But I think it's important to look at a power dynamic and identify what's actually going on because I've heard "they were toxic to eachother" too many times when one party was left completely without her entire support system with no explanation (her relationships pre-DL were pretty much just Scott, Cleo and People Who Try To Kill Us) while the other party did everything in his power to actively harm her without indicating himself as the bad guy.

As for Ren, I'm not a massive Ren guy so I can't pretend I can begin to understand exactly what went on in his head other than that I think DL Rendog was probably suffering from many diseases but the Rendog misogyny post would go insane. There's something madonna/whore complex about him. There you go guys whoa a freudian concept I'm keeping my branding going

[soulsdontbreaktheybeeend]

Free and yet so trapped. Part 1

Summary: this takes place some time after the end of folie a deux. If you're wondering how that is possible... stay tuned and find out. :)

It's Arthur Fleck x y/n, or is it Joker x y/n? Hm. :)

I'm a bit rusty. So pls forgive me.

words: 1,528

____________

The stillness of the night accompanied you on your way home. The light from the street lamps shone faintly over the walls of the buildings. The wet streets reflected a blend of the lanterns, yellow-orange light combined with the red and green glow of the traffic lights.

The clacking of your boots on the worn asphalt of Gotham's sidewalks, the only sound to be heard. The rain from earlier in the evening had left puddles on the potholed streets of the city.

Your attention was focused on the few cars that were passing you. Attention that they were lacking. They would just drive through the puddles as you pass. They're not the ones who would get hit by a wave of dirty water from the road. They wouldn't have to rush home soaking wet for the remaining minutes. Crossing your arms, you hugged your coat closer to your body to provide you with more warmth and ward off the cold autumn wind.

You sniffled, as the cold, wet weather made your nose tickle.

As you turned the corner, a cab pulled up on your side of the street. Three doors opened.

There seemed to be a heated conversation going on, their voices grew louder as the three people got out of the car.

“And yet another day of this crap.”

You sighed as you saw them take up the entire sidewalk.

“It’s unbelievable!”

The cab drove off, you walked closer to them. Your eyes narrowed to slits, as if it made you realize more clearly that you knew these three people in passing.

As you got closer to them, you greeted them briefly with a hey, released your hand from your folded arms for a brief, casual wave, but kept walking. In the turmoil of the discussion, they didn't even acknowledge your voice nor the small movement of your hand. They had simply stepped aside to make space for a stranger on the sidewalk.

Their conversation continued and you picked up on their words. You became more aware as you had walked past and formed contexts. Now fully able to process the statements.

“That other psycho at Arkham should’ve done a better job.” He was referring to the stabbing. The others laughed and nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, they can't even pull that off. They're all a bunch of lowlifes.”

„I mean, this Joker guy is completely insane. Celebrates himself as this clown figure, then whines about it in court, wants nothing more to do with it and now he's changed his mind again? How many times is this guy going to do that? How many buildings is he going to burn down? They should have just let him bleed to death, instead of bringing him to the hospital.”

All three of them laughed.

Apparently there had been a new report on the car radio. About him. About new riots and havoc in the city.

___________

Arthur leaned against the facade of a building. The light from the street lamps failed to illuminate the narrow alley. Leaving it completely in the dark.

He took refuge in the silence and darkness. To just be. A few minutes to himself. Without the constant hustle and bustle, without the noise, without his followers and the chaos they brought with them. Even without her. Or especially without her?

Arthur became aware of the small group right at the start of the intense conversation. They pulled him out of his rest. In a way that couldn't have been worse. Every word hit him like a punch in the gut. The scars on his stomach itched.

He let the back of his head drop against the cold wall of the building.

He would have been more than willing to blow up the conversation. To tell them that things were completely different. Tell them the truth. But would they really care?

They wouldn’t.

He slumped to the ground.

His red suit jacket pushed up his back as it rubbed against the bricks of the building. A mixture of damp dust and grime rubbed into the soft fabric. His head hanging down, his gaze cast downwards, hands folded over his head in shame of the chaos he has to cause for one reason only.

To stay alive.

To shield himself from any more goddamn harm. Though it’s not a life. It’s surviving. Like it always has been for him. They only thing that had changed - he has men around him who protect him. One fear less, but more alone than ever.

At least alive.

It were moments like this, in which he wondered if it was really fair to be alive when all this was happening for it.

___________

“Yeah! And now all this crap is a burden on the whole city and its people."

As if the city wasn't eating itself with its corruption, you thought. You struggled to keep walking. Every further statement you heard slowed you down. Every step filled you with more and more anger. You could feel it creeping through your body. Building up.

“The amount of shit this guy fabricates just because he's an absolutely terrible comedian and had had a bad childhood.”

“Who says it's all true anyway...”

Your eyes widened in disbelief of what you just heard. You scoffed. Loudly.

“Oh for fucks sake.”, you mumbled and rolled your eyes in disbelief of what you were about to do.

“You weren't there when God distributed brains, minds and hearts, now were you?”, you turned.

You defended him. You were surprised at yourself for getting involved in a conversation that you have nothing to do with. It was unlike you and you couldn’t think of a time you’ve had ever done that before. Especially not when it had been such a stupid bullshit talk. And now you did that for Arthur Fleck.

A man you only knew from television. From police reports, excerpts from the news and above all from the court hearing that was broadcast on live television. Which was still a disgusting thing to do, you thought. You remember the judge admonished Fleck and reminded him that the courtroom is not a stage.

You remember even more vividly how you almost jumped off the sofa when you happened to see that clip about it on the news. What else could it be with all those cameras? You thought the judge was a total idiot. It made you feel infuriated. When you then saw how he stared wordlessly for what felt like an eternity directly into the filming live camera, you immediately realized. He's thinking the same damn thing. And he is so helpless and lost in this society.

It wasn't the first time, and particularly not the first time that day, that you’ve heard people talk about him like that. You grew sick of it because almost every human being in this city seemed to be blind. Everyone failed him. When all he needed was someone to really attentively listen to him.

And the ranting here on the street just broke the camel's back.

____________

„Who the fuck do you think you are, one of his-, wait.. y/n.. is… is that you?!“, one of the men realized as you slowly walked back over to them a few steps.

The woman also had something to say. “She's probably turned into another Harley Quinn knock-off.”, laughing hysterically.

“You are all so self-limited.”, you exploded. “Just because he’s had a terrible childhood blah blah.”, you imitated him with a stupid man like voice. “Are you even just a little bit aware of what this man had to endure? But no wait, I can answer that question myself.”, your facial expressions and gestures took the piss out of them. “No, you are not. Because everyone of you has got such a limited mind and are most concerned with yourselves.”

They didn't take you seriously, “Pff.. who cares man. All he can do is tell a lot of bad jokes. He's a total fool.”

„Yeah, and now that he’s got that freak bitch by his side, he thinks he’s the King of Gotham. They’re just losers wearing clown costumes.“

„Okay.“ You leave fast. Full of anger, but in loss of words. This whole argument drained you of whatever energy you had left.

____________

Arthur got pulled out of his negative gnawing thoughts, by your defending words. He released the firm grip of his hands on his head to search for the owner of the voice. He peered over, the streetlights shone a decent light on the three former cab passengers, but he couldn’t see the fourth person who was arguing with them, defending him, obscured by the corner of the building's wall.

He heard your shoes clacking on the asphalt. Arthur immediately felt the urge of his body wanting to follow you. The three others had a quick laugh about you and then went in the other direction.

Perfect, Arthur thought to himself. As he stood up from his crouch, he straightened his suit jacket and sneaked curiously to the end of the building to take a look around the corner.

Hoping you hadn't already turned the next corner.

____________

Part 2

[furiousgoldfish]

My parents have always told everyone that I'm unstable, dangerous, and troubled. I used to lash out in retaliation when they would abuse me and they told everyone about what I did without giving context and turned people against me and got them to perpetuate the abuse too because they thought I "deserved it." Sometimes they just told straight up lies. They even lied to psychiatrists and got them to diagnose me with "oppositional defiant disorder" and I was sent to a school for "troubled teens."

Everyone around me knows me as the angry, unstable, mentally ill one, even though I've never acted in such a way anywhere else- not at school, not at work, not with friends or other family members. I have no problems getting along with other people and I almost never lash out, even when I'm upset.

But even though people have no proof I'm actually like that, they believe everything my parents say. I'm trying my hardest to prove people wrong, but it doesn't matter what I do. My parents have completely ruined my reputation and turned everyone around me (except my best friend) into their flying monkeys.

Are there any magic words to get people to stop believing everything they say with no proof??

Lashing out in retaliation when you're abused is such a normal and healthy thing to do! Even an animal would bite you and attack you if you're abusing them, how could anyone expect a human being to just stand there and take it, it's absolutely ridiculous. However it seems that what your parents wanted was to convince you that you should do exactly that, not defend yourself, not fight back, not retaliate, and if you do, you're dangerous and unstable. It's very clear they wanted you to be without any defense, without being able to even stand up to them – which, how sick is that? It's not enough for them to be able to abuse a child, but the child should not be able to even defend or fight back? It's sick and disturbing, and shows how dangerous and unstable they are.

Telling people about you defending yourself, and even getting you falsely diagnosed, sounds like a horrible smear campaign and setting you up to not be believed, respected or trusted, so you'd have nobody to tell about abuse who would believe you or side with you. It's another awful thing abusers do to kids in order to keep them in abuse, unable to escape or get help.

I don't think there's a way to stop people from being flying monkeys, especially if they're so gullible to believe abusive parents on their word. I never managed it anyway, every person my parents managed to manipulate to their side, would not change their mind whatever I told them. I had to cut all of these people off and find a new environment where nobody knew of my parents or anything they lied about me, and then people treated me normally.

I guess in theory, you could ask people 'hey why do you believe I'm unstable and dangerous, have you ever seen me act in such ways?' and when they go 'your parents said you did x' you could tell them 'but did they tell you why I did that, and what they did to me first?'. But in practice, I can see how this could be dangerous as people are likely to believe you're lying, and side with your parents anyway, or even tell them that you outed  their abuse, putting you in even more danger. So yeah it's just not looking good.

I'm sorry that all I can do is tell you that your situation is serious and nobody could find an easy solution. I did so many insane things to retaliate to my parents abuse, it's normal to do that! And they also reacted as if I'm insane and dangerous, and shamed me for it, and failed to see how they're insane and dangerous for hurting a child and evoking that kind of reaction in the first place. You are not to blame, all you did was be a child. Anyone would have retaliated. I'm so sorry your parents are trying to destroy your any hope of having a social circle, it's devastating. I hope one day you're free from all of this.

[horizon-verizon]

Many dudebros like comparing Jon to Jaehaerys, and the idea of Daenerys ending up like Alysanne is extremely heartbreaking, horrifying and devastating to me. All those gains dissolved for what, a trad romance ? No thank you. Unless he willingly abdicates his claim and is her consort, I will continue to see Jonerys as misogynistic and as an active threat to Daenerys’ safety, future, happiness, and political values. And I hope her people make her wary of him too. The time for her to be sweet and yielding with men is over.

Daenerys as a character represents the dissolution of gendered binaries by being both king and queen, khal and khaleesi, prince and princess. To wish for that to be rendered irrelevant just for the sake of Jon, of all people, is maddening. I don’t equality or co-rulers or king consort, he must be the PRINCE consort and Daenerys must be his regnant and the sole authority.

And the narrative has made it pretty clear that Daenerys trying to rule as an equal with a king is dangerous for her. Hizdahr Zo Loraq is the textual proof of that. So too are potential consorts like Quentyn, Cleon the Butcher, Victarion, Euron, and Young Griff.

If people can see that Young Griff is a misogynist who wants to use Daenerys claim to bolster his own, the fanciful and wishful, antifeminist thinking that Jon will be “one of the good ones” is insane to me. No man is one of the good ones, and the only way to ensure that Daenerys succeeds is to ensure that the man she marries has ZERO political ambition or claim to the Iron Throne and obey her in every way. End of story.

I think that the desire to see Jon--as he is instead of a potential Prince Consort (no, not even "King Consort", such a thing can never be a thing in Westeros as it is and Dany is trying to claim Westeros not some fantasy of Westeros)--show himself as "one of the good ones" is pretty incompatible with how Jon's been murdered and brought back, bc he's going to be very different from the already not-revolutionary-rily-written male character that he is.

I also think that the only way they could ever be a "safe" couple--or as close as it gets--is if Jon has literally no way to access authority or his claim in any way. Does it sound extreme, well...women have been in that position for thousands of years in Westeros and rulership in Westeros can only change in its gender dynamics if the society has a greater shift in all other houses. You know when you have to go ham sometimes on men to get them to leave you alone or to see your side of things, think of this on a macro level: yes, you need to "match" the inequality in this specific context of rulership in order for people to be forced to see women as viable rulers. Which can't happen without there being a female regnant ruler...Dany.

[very-straight-blog]

This might sound funny and cringey, but I feel like I lost something I cared about and now it's just sadness and depression. Like it's a TV show, I get it, but we waited 2 years and for what? To get the two worst episodes imaginable. I'm really starting to believe that Sapochnik was responsible for everything good in s1, bcz Condal and Hess ruined this show. S1 wasn't perfect and I didn't like a lot of things in it, but it still managed to keep me invested so I hoped that in s2 everything would be improved. And yet, I'm so terribly disappointed. Alicent's characterization makes no sense anymore, like they want so badly to show her as a bad mother and a hypocrite and really - after ruining bnc with Alicole sex now it had to follow with her not being able to console her son but hoping on Criston is a must do?? What sort of degenerates write this??

Aemond is also ruined for me and I would love to erase that crappy brothel scene from my memory. What was it for? To show his mommy issues, vulnerability... Idc. The dialogue was bad and they did him dirty with the angles and the pose. And now he's apparently going to be there *again* in e3 and we'll get full frontal nudity. Idk why the actor agreed to this since they are obviously making a joke and meme material of his character. Not to mention that he straight up lied in the promos about being loyal (if the RR leaks are true and I'm almost 100% sure they are). I get that they are told what to say, but a more general answer would have been much better than a lie. In brief, one of my favourite s1 characters is also destroyed.

Then Cole. My god, I only waithig for him to look at the camera and say "do you hate me enough already hahah?" He's the writers punching bag atp.

Helaena barely exists.

Otto is Viserys' fanboy and ofc, appalled by his grandson. It's not as he just has lost a son and was forced to take the crown in the first place by him and his mother, no less.

Aegon got more screentime and I love Tom's performance, but I'm not fooled. He is still depicted as weak, politically inept and rash. And he'll still be a bully, apparently. Just to justify his brother's treason. F*ck you Condal, Hess and whoever else is responsible for this mess.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. I just don't get how anyone can seriously praise this shitshow anymore. It could have been great, but the creators are obviously not up to the task which is now painfully obvious. I wouldn't mind the greens as villains, but don't write them as a walking joke. I'm quitting the show and would like just to forget about it. This adaptation of the Dance was a huge mistake.

I feel you! By the way, I haven't participated in any fandom life, I think, for 10 years or more, but thanks to HOTD, I started this blog, I write some critical (well, kinda) reviews, and English isn't even my native language. I've been waiting for the second season for two years and now I just feel tired and empty. So far, the only thing I've liked about these two episodes is Aegon's storyline, that's all. Everything else is bad, very bad, and judging by the leaks, it'll be even worse.

Firstly, the series has a very strange pace of the narrative. We didn't get a bunch of important plot scenes, and even those that remained were shown in a hurry, but at the same time we have many scenes like "Rhaenyra stares at the dust for three minutes", unnecessary dialogues and PAUSES between lines.

Secondly, again, an insane amount of important plot details are left behind the scenes and this is absolutely wrong. Aemond's return home, the family's reaction to what he did. Aegon's reaction when he learned of his son's death. Aemond's reaction when he finds out what his actions have led to. And so on and so forth. Many of the characters' actions are shown without context. Alicent fucks with Criston - cool, but can I have some additional information? How long has this been going on, what feelings do they have for each other, how have they developed, like, anything? The same can be said about the scene in the brothel - no context.

Thirdly, it's unclear what's going on with the characters, as if the screenwriters decided to make the greens the most unpleasant people in the world. So far, I only like Aegon and Helaena. I can't even say anything about Aemond, because his only dialogue scene is built around Daemon and Luke, damn them. I just can't.

Everything annoys me except Aegon lol. So yes, I understand you.

[eri-pl]

Finwë and Miriel (but the other one)

So, let's start with Miriel. And i don't mean the ?erinde one. I mean Tar-Miriel.

To make my context clear: I have a strong (canon-compatibile, unsure if it's canon-based) assumption that her "marriage" was just political. Whether Ar-Pharazon was evil-but-not-this-kind-of-evil, not into her, or believed that having children decreases a person's lifespan (sounds like something the Numenorians would believe very much)… I don't know, but the result is that he never did anything remotely sexual towards her.

So, tar-Miriel is dethroned, powerless and forced to see her (rightfully hers to rule) country throwing itself into an abbyss, led by a power-hungry madman and his (even more power-hungry) demonic advisor.

What I love about is is that, contrary to other tragic women in the Legendarium, this has nothing to do with her femininity.

This is a tragedy which as well could be written with a king (make the king young and switch the "marriage" to "adoption"...). It has nothing to do with her sexuality, with love, with her as mother and it only formally has things to do with her as a wife.

It's a great fresh thing after Miriel "died in childbirth, marriage issues" Therinde, or Nerdanel "my husband and sons won't listen to me" the Wise (or a lot of other Noldorin wives with the same problem), Andreth "I'm more interested in my 20-year-old heartbreak than with the literally most insane foreshadowing in all the legendarium", and others. Even Morwen has a big part of her tragedy centered around her role as mother.

I'm not saying those are bad writing. But I love to have some variety of what the tragedy is about. And tar-Miriel (at least in my reading) does it. (+ Maybe some other women which I forgot.)

Finwë is the opposite: his whole tragedy is about him as a husband (twice), and as a father, and then he dies helplessly to be grieved by his son. Those are elements common for female characters, I would say. And I love it.

Seriously, there is no single problem, no single event since coming to Aman where Finwë is not in the context of his family. No political opponents to him as the king (unless they have a problem with how he treats his sons). No hobbies (except raising Feanor). Nothing.

Finwë has a lot of "protagonist's mother" energy. Sure, he does have a name (only one though, and it seems a bit like a title), but otherwise he's got no qualities that aren't centered on Feanor. And he dies without dealing any damage to his murderer.

Again, I'm not saying that all, or even many, male characters need to be like this, but it's nice to have diversity.

[sere-ness-ima]

Arguments against giving personifications a universal language (or another method of communicating with each other immediately and without any problem)

(Ok, this was a little clickbaity. First of all, I absolutely don’t intend to say that whoever does it is wrong. Like everything in Hetalia worldbuilding, it’s a matter of personal preference and goals we set for our story. Additionally I absolutely think that heavy focus on this matter would be detrimental for the story and unapproachable by audience other than a couple of crazy linguists.

Unfortunately I happen to be a crazy linguist, so here’s what I actually mean by this post:)

Fun linguistic things to consider in the context of Hetalia :D

Now, personally, I feel like the universal language takes away from the naturality of their relationships, *especially* so-called “first contact”, but not only that. Language is an enormous part of international relationships through the ages and removing this part from the equation results in the personifications not experiencing this side of their people’s history.

Sometimes in a story you don’t want two nations to understand each other. It happens. I’d much rather have choice than create a rule that takes this possibility from me.

The question of “which languages these two characters share” is interesting; it silently reminds of their history and points to cultural circles they belong to, as a subtle storytelling tool. (Other than that, deciding that is insanely fun, but this might be a linguist thing?)

Languages can be symbolic for other details of relationships. Think Lithuania speaking outdated Polish, from 19th century at best, because he didn’t have many opportunities to catch-up with the living language after that, now they’re not together with Poland anymore. [/personal hc, but even if they were, I think he’d still lag behind].

Another case, think a weaker country speaking the language of the stronger country, never the other way around, indicating a power imbalance between them.

Think a weaker country [personally I’m thinking a friend’s Serbia] absolutely refusing to speak the language of the stronger country, forcing them to seek compromises or use an interpreter or more drastic measures.

The lingua franca, whatever it would be, automatically carries a huge cultural and social influence with it. I believe the personifications should be prone to it too.

Another linguist thing, but I find communication struggles fascinating and endearing. There’s so much cultural exchange to be drawn from a second language user: which parts of learning are difficult for them, which are easy; what mistakes they make and how are these influenced by their native speech; what words do they choose to use, what do they think a chair’s gender is, do they sound soft or harsh or have an accent? If two Slavs talk to each other in English, is it correct English or do they use Slavic pronunciation and grammar to make it easier for themselves, causing a distress for each anglophone that hears them?

Another linguist thing, but a lot of pairs of countries that technically don’t have a common language can probably communicate with ease anyway. I want to see them go wild. I want to see them make a mixtape out of their French and Latin to talk to an Italian, I want distant Asian countries to talk to each other in English that no actual English person would understand, I want to see Latin America NOT understanding each other despite theoretically all speaking Spanish. And I want to see two distant countries find out that their only common language is something completely unexpected they’ve studied out of boredom.

I want to see the poor couple of nations without decent linguistic skills SUFFER.

Some of you speak like not having a common language was an unconquerable obstacle that would destroy all the fun and be a giant problem in the storyline. But I don’t really see how? Our ancestors did it. They travelled, they met other nations and they had to learn how to communicate with them. Some of them saw the opposite thing happen: they used to understand their neighbours without problem, but as the nations found themselves under different influences, the languages drifted away from each other until the similarities became unrecognizable. People across the ages have been learning languages, travelling and communicating. There are teachers, translators (my friend Laurynas says he’d like to see translators acknowledged), interpreters, etymology, lingua franca and body language all for them to use. I am not 25 yet and I speak 4, with a certain pain I can communicate in 6, and I could probably visit 100 countries of the world without worrying about the language issue at all. My nations are 100 years old. I just don’t think they need additional help. They'll slay :D

There were a couple ideas I’ve seen pro-universal language that I liked, so thought I’d share:

One, as beetroot said, being able to communicate with one personification doesn’t mean the countries wouldn’t have to learn languages, as the rest of the society wouldn’t be able to understand it. Therefore, most of these “fun linguist things” would appear anyway, just not between personifications. For me it’s a bummer, although acceptable. For someone else it can be more than enough.

Two, a quote from my friend Huku:

“Universal language is also a thing that helps them identify each other, which is a cool trick. It explains why, upon finding a personification in a swamp, the nation knows that this child is a personification and not some random mortal. Besides, nations from distant cultures also find it hard to communicate initially, because maybe the language is universal, but the context is foreign, the metaphors unreadable, the wording strange.”

Three, at first I didn't like morgenlich’s version that the language “can’t be written down because of magic”, but after seeing a suggestion that it wouldn’t be an actual language, just a mysterious way of understanding each other, the idea sounds more approachable to me. Cheers!

[lurksunderthebed]

Ghoap Analysis/Meta (2.3)

The Evolution of GhostSoap Redux

Discussion of Ghost and Soap's relationship after "Alone" and a dive into character motivations/backstory.

Answering the 'did they' or 'did they not' question between "Alone" and "Prison Break".

Part (2.3/?)

PLEASE READ PART (2.2) FOR FULL CONTEXT

Minor mentions of mwiii (23). Practically spoiler free to that game.

Warning: very long and meandering discussion. I probably should have shortened this. But even now I still think I missed things from "Alone" 😔

Alone Discussion

I think it would be fair to say that there was much that happened in "Alone" to think about. It's undeniable that Ghost and Soap's relationship had a turning point then. The intimate backdrop of two people fighting on their own for survival with only a potentially friendly voice in your ear for help is an evocative image.

One filled with flirting and banter traded in whispers, sneaking around scared enemies who will kill you if you're too loud, getting saved by someone you largely thought disliked you, that mad dash together to get out. It's all one very compelling picture to assume something happened. Something potentially romantic in nature.

Many in fandom have speculated on the nature of Ghost and Soap's relationship post mission: "Alone" and it's hard not to, really. Let it be said that the game writers knew what they were doing then and were a bit insane for doing so in a game largely meant for the male audience.

So the glaring question remains: Did Ghost and Soap get together between "Alone" and "Prison Break" in that nebulous in-between before the pair got to Ale's safe house or the time between the safe house and the prison break?

The answer to that—using the dialogue, current motivations, and timeline sadly suggests it's most likely they did not.

Since I already spent the last post discussing what Ghost may have been thinking and his motivations in "Alone", lets look at Soap's. To do so we'll have to dive into Soap's backstory.

John "Soap" Mactavish

What we do know of his background is actually a fair bit. Definitely more than we know of Ghost that's for sure.

It goes without saying that he's proudly Scottish. From the slang to the end in '23. Soap is a born and raised Scot.

According to wiki, and the current bio from the game, Soap tried joining the military at 16. His cousin who was/is SAS inspired him. He got denied many times till he finally joined at 18 and got chosen for SAS selection in 2014.

During this time in 2014, Captain Price was his evaluator to which he handily impressed all by scoring highly in tests. Soap was the youngest to pass and got labeled "the perpetual FNG", presumably because of his precocious age.

His first mission was with Price in Russia, where the captain saved his life. Later he further distinguished himself in Urzikstan with an act of courage, earning him prestigious medals as a result. Medals such as the Victoria Cross, the Gallantry medal and the Conspicuous Gallantry medal. All three of those medals irl, are awarded specifically in acts of outstanding bravery and valour.

In 2016 at the age of 20, Soap punched a military police officer and locked him out of his car. He did not face disciplinary action for this.

In 2019, at the age of 23 we have "Flashpoint", a potential first meeting of Soap and Ghost and we see him almost disregard orders by threatening to kill Makarov.

And finally in 2022, at the age of 26 we have the events of mwii.

What does this background bio tell us of Soap?

Well we can say he's a courageous hot headed type. One that acts on impulse, to the detriment of his own career. He's stupidly, fearlessly brave. He's been awarded for that bravery and he's ridiculously young for his rank and service. He's as fiery as his explosives. He's a thundercracker and loves to talk back to authority.

Doesn't this sound familiar?

The interesting point is that we can say that this characterization holds true whether we look at the 2019 version of Soap, the 2022 version and finally the 2023 version. Soap doesn't really change. He might be a bit more jaded, but that core nature stays strong. The military shaped his life from when he was a teenager to now as an adult, but who he is as a person never changes.

That means that his motivations and personality most likely wouldn't be any different from where we see him in mwiii(23) to now during "Alone" to between "Flashpoint" in '19 - "Kill or Capture" in '22.

It also makes determining what he may have thought throughout "Alone" easier to discern as a result.

Let's imagine we are Soap and try to reason out what might have gone through his head during the mission and more importantly why.

I've already stated earlier, that Soap and Ghost probably had a prior relationship. Soap most likely prodded Ghost into responses and Ghost largely ignored it.

Soap is used to Ghost ignoring him. He expects it but is visibly disheartened (pouts) when he's cut off. At this point, he also must be used to how standoffish Ghost is.

We see it in "Kill or Capture" where its contrasted in how friendly Soap is to the marines with Ghost looking appropriately forbidding and authoritative to them, barking out orders.

In "Cartel Protection" when the LT doesn't appreciate Rudy's jokes.

In "El Sin Nombre" when Ghost noticeably doesn't join into discussions with Alejandro, Graves and Soap about infiltrating the mansion.

"Dark Waters" where he stands apart while Soap and Graves congratulate each other for averting the missile launch.

Ghost is all professionalism and silence. We see nothing of his snark, his dark humour, his dry dead pans. We do see his eyerolls and "done with life" attitude, but otherwise he's very cold.

So the events of "Alone" must be a shocker to Soap. Soap who is used to getting back nothing from Ghost suddenly now has Ghost's full attention. Honestly it felt like Ghost spent more time talking to Soap than really being worried for himself. In fact half of that mission we have Ghost already in the church tower camping away while Soap is running around ragged.

Naturally, the first thing this hot headed guy does is snark back to Ghost. The amazing thing, is that Ghost doesn't ignore Soap this time, he actually engages and matches Soap's banter.

And guess what? Soap is excited. He's intrigued and he starts off by going for Ghost's first name. To which he's suitably chased off via horribly unfunny joke.

Soap in some sense must know he went too far because he pulls back. He asks things about Ghost, he pokes but never too hard. Soap needs Ghost's help. He can't have the man get too annoyed at him. And considering their current track record, that's an actual concern.

There's a reason why Soap never addresses the nickname that Ghost made up and it has everything to do with the fact that once he does, Ghost might just stop talking to him. Soap needs Ghost to like him. His survival depends on it.

The LT has a reputation for ruthless coldness, he's a deadly killer. He's infamous in their circles and even comes with an appellation and fearsome visage. He's a mystery. His motivations are a mystery.

So Soap tries his hardest to find out if Ghost does actually like him. If not for his own curiousity and because he wants Ghost to like him, then at least for his own sake. If Ghost likes him, then that means Ghost will wait for him.

Ghost himself gives off mixed signals about what he thinks about Soap. Soap thinks Ghost might like him, but its hard to tell. Especially when Soap is distracted by enemies and all we have of Ghost are his countless implications to Soap that he is indeed the emotionless killer that everyone makes him out to be. Ghost even states outright that he barely tolerates Soap and is only doing so because he "wants one of them to survive". Seriously, what a massive liar.

Naturally, Soap takes it as it is, but probably with doubts. Soap isn't an idiot, Ghost helps him with tips, he's constantly asking for status updates. The man must sort of like him at least. But Soap also called out Ghost about them being friends and only got silence back that time. With the ensuing silence (which Soap definitely doesn't want) and every effort on that vein being redirected, it's best to leave it at that and focus on surviving. Or at least he tries.

Because Soap can't help himself, he tests the new boundaries of their relationship in other ways.

Ghost seemed to like Soap's banter. If implying that they are friends meets Soap with disdain it's best not to go further into any emotional intimacy talks. So he goes for the tried and true classic next to snark: Flirting. I don't know what it is, in the military or just in general with male dominated areas. Homoerotic undertones and gay chicken jokes seem to be king.

But this time, Ghost responds back to it, he even encourages it. And we see the flirty exchanges between them.

Does this mean that Soap actually has a crush on Ghost and that he was just using the first chance he got to go for it?

Perhaps. Soap definitely admires him (as we see in "Prison Break"). It's a very real possibility. Maybe Soap genuinely wants Ghost to like him. It's clear from all Soap's efforts to be friendly to Ghost that Soap was just waiting for the day that the LT would warm up to him. Soap strikes me as very persistent. He could be flirting with the singular goal of getting into a relationship with Ghost.

Alternatively, perhaps Soap was just joking around and the flirting was another method of coping in high stress situations.

Perhaps it's a mix of his own curiousity, disregard to authority and his own comfort in snarky jokes. We've already established that Soap in '23 is virtually indistinguishable from Soap in '19 and '22. Soap likes to banter during missions. It stands to reason that perhaps this is his way of coping in high stress situations.

What we can say, is that regardless of their personal feelings toward each other prior to this mission, if they didn't like each other before, they certainly do now.

You can tell both of them are getting a kick out of the snark, and flirting. They actively engage each other on it. They're getting to know each other personally, and finding that they can match each other on their snark level. No other person in game banters with them the way they do with each other.

It's at least a potential for more.

But the question remains. Did something physical happen between the two during the car ride to Alejandro's safe house?

It's possible. Highly unlikely though, if we consider the motivation side of things. Why?

The point remains that Soap despite flirting, is still uncertain about Ghost's motivations after the event of "Alone". We somewhat see it in how surprised he was in "Prison Break" over Ghost's declaration of teamhood status, and in how Soap pesters Ghost about their relationship. Even the flirting in dialogue at this point is within the realms of plausible deniability; it could be passed off as joking. Soap tests Ghost, but never so far as to truly push him into transforming their relationship above the comfortable limits.

I don't see Soap moving overtly into something physical unless Ghost initiates first.

Now the question is: Would Ghost initiate anything?

So now we have to reconsider Ghost's motivations. That means, you guessed it, looking at his background as well.

Simon "Ghost" Riley

We don't know much about his backstory. The official bio says he was born in Manchester, UK. He presumably went under officer training as part of the SAS.

At some point Ghost met Price before Ghost's insistence on hiding his identity/face, due to his later comments in "Ghost Team". Ghost trusts Price and more or less implies it in "Alone". Price is the only other character allowed to reference Ghost as "Simon" by the LT himself.

Interestingly enough it was stated in a comment on Reddit by an account verified game Dev that Ghost and another character "Mace" introduced in cod warzone 2020 (who also wears a skull mask), were in the same unit, "but things had changed".

Mace's bio puts him as an ex US army ranger. We can extrapolate due to Cod: Ghosts that this is a nod to the ghost squad, an elite unit of soldiers who all wore the 09 ghost balaclava set in a different universe to the original cod modern warfare games. Presumably, Ghost, Mace and others all wore the infamous skull mask in an international unit. Mace being American and Ghost being British supports the international factor.

It's noted that Mace left that same ghost unit, to later on work as a mercenary. In "Prison Break", we learn that Ghost disdains mercenaries, as "bloody wannabes". Connected? Maybe.

We know that at some point in Ghost's life he was betrayed by someone very close to him. Trust is hard for him as a result.

Perhaps something happened in that ghost squad that led to Ghost being betrayed (maybe by Mace, maybe not).

Regardless, from whenever that betrayal happened, we know that Ghost stands apart from any other soldier and we see that in "Flashpoint" up to "El Sin Nombre". Then it all changes in "Alone".

Ghost's characterisation isn't static like Soap's. It's even in his bio. Ghost was more open at one point (he didn't start life wearing a mask and he wasn't always called "Ghost"), he gets betrayed and then becomes the brusque man we see in "Flashpoint" and "Kill or Capture".

Ghost changes and by tracking those changes we can more reliably see how the LT's interpersonal relationships transform as a result.

So let's recap "Alone":

Ghost likes Soap. He admires him and wants to trust him. The LT doesn't want him to die but he thinks Soap probably will. This makes trusting and caring for Soap a detriment.

Despite himself, Ghost waits for the sergeant and distracts him with jokes to have the man focused/not panicked. Ghost denies to Soap that he actually does like him/cares. He implies he is too cold for emotions, that he doesn't care. Ghost lies, he misdirects, he deflects. Anything regarding emotional closeness is shut down.

Snark is safe though. They banter and Ghost realises that he actually does enjoy talking to Soap. Ghost has the driest sense of humour. He loves to snark.

Ghost engages with some plausible deniability flirting too. One that is borderline risqué behaviour, but pulls back against any truly overt stuff.

On that note, we can read why Ghost flirts similarly to why Soap was as well. It could be a combination of snark, competition, romantic interest or just another way of coping in high stress situations. Ghost likes to deflect by making jokes. Taking it a step further seems to be a thing he would do so that both of them can stay focused.

Ghost saves Soap's life by sniping an enemy out of the church tower. Soap proves that he is the trustworthy/admirable man the LT saw in "El Sin Nombre", by surviving and saving Ghost's life in return in the getaway truck.

Ghost who has been a solo type of guy for so long after being betrayed, finds himself thinking that maybe, just maybe he has a potential partner. One that can keep up with him.

Soap and Ghost are a team.

Ghost who has known Soap for 3 years already, most of those 3 years spent ignoring him, has his whole MO changed after their getaway from Las Almas. Up to this point, Ghost avoided being close to people whether physically or emotionally.

Soap proves Ghost wrong about not being able to survive, his likeability, his whole everything.

Ghost now has to re-evaluate his own rules about teamwork, friendship and intimacy. If he was wrong about Soap (for 3 years!), then maybe he was also wrong about other people. Maybe he could be a part of a team again.

Maybe he can even trust others too. New people who he hasn't known since forever.

There's a lot going on there. But mainly, it has to be said that this is most likely the first time in a long time Ghost has connected to another person emotionally.

We can tell by the persistent nickname usage from Ghost how much the man cares. I've mostly avoided talking about it now, since one can argue that "Alone" is a high stress moment for Ghost, therefore of course he would use it during the mission. Him using 'Johnny' now, isn't as important as it is in other missions where he uses it when it isn't a particularly stressful situation.

Or is it?

During this mission, we see Ghost use 'Johnny' when he can't see/hear Soap in danger. The terms of his nickname usage changes. From only extremely high stress situations where Ghost isn't sure Soap is alive at the beginning, to now a more casual fond usage, as one would do to somebody they liked.

Their relationship is deepening and turning into something friendly—flirty even. We get lovely exchanges where all Soap and Ghost do is repeat their names back to each other. Something said by one of them, will always garner a response back. It's actually pretty cute and holds true to the end of cod mwii and straight into cod mwiii.

It's ridiculous how much the game emphasises this point. It really wants us to see how much names matter in the context of Soap and Ghost's relationship.

Does the difference in nickname usage indicate anything substantial between "Alone" and "Prison Break"?

Inconclusive, though I'm erring on the side of no. All it shows is Ghost becoming more familiar with Soap as something resembling a friend. Could it be more in time ? Yes. At this point, as I said earlier with Soap, it's a tentative potential.

Their flirting and banter, isn't a one off from "Alone". The game could've played it like it was and we could've seen no flirting at all in later missions. "Alone" could be an outlier; it was an extremely high stress moment. Lots of things that you normally wouldn't do could happen.

But this isn't the first and last time this happens. We see it directly in "Prison Break" and every new mission after, all the way into mwiii(23). They continue to flirt, banter and snark at each other. The potential is right there and thriving.

So back to the point. Does this mean Ghost's initiates something more physical after the relief of making it out alive?

Probably not. I'm sorry guys.

It's not impossible, but I really doubt a guy this allergic to emotional connection would want to jump headfirst into a physical relationship with the (1) guy he finds himself liking for the first time in ages. That's just asking for all sorts of complications.

Granted, perhaps his views on sex are completely opposite to emotional compatibility. Ghost could very much be a one night stand type, preferably with the mask on to keep his anonymity. Remember, this guy went out of his way to erase his identity. We even hear it in dialogue at the end of cod mw(19) from Price to Laswell during the formation of 141. There isn't a photo on the dossier and even the official group chat they have for 141 labels the man as simply 'Ghost'.

But even the 'whole Ghost as a serial one night stand guy theory' has a problem, as we see Ghost visibly shy away from getting close to people. Physically and emotionally. Touch is barely tolerated and we see in "Kill or Capture" that Ghost didn't like the fistbump Soap gives him. Touch from strangers might also go the same way. In that vein, it's hard to imagine Ghost even going out for one night stands if he just barely tolerates a casual fistbump. (With much side eye)

I suppose it could be very different if/when Ghost initiates contact himself. We don't know the exact details of how that all could happen. It does however, seem unlikely with everything we know so far with Ghost and his character.

And not to mention, there's also the added complication of fraternisation rules. Ghost is Soap's direct CO. It would get them both in trouble, at possible risk to their jobs, if a relationship was ever publicly discovered. Soap wouldn't care, we already know he flouts rules. And I'd argue that Ghost probably doesn't care deeply about rules either. No one in 141 does for that matter.

I could however see Ghost using this whole thing as a big justification to himself in not pursuing anything further. Ghost cares about Soap's wellbeing. He wants Soap to be better than him. Ghost dragging Soap down into a relationship that could get them booted out of the military seems counter intuitive to that care.

Or perhaps the adrenaline of the moment would make it all different? Adrenaline does funny things to a person. I could see Soap up for it. Ghost on the other hand ? Really, really hard to say. There's nothing saying it couldn't have happened. But there's also nothing to say it did either.

So what else are we left with to look at?

Timeline.

By virtue of timeline and Soap's previous injury, I'm going to say anything happening would've been extremely unlikely. (Though still possible).

"Alone" happens directly after the events of "Dark Waters". "Dark Waters" is set on Nov 2nd 1700 hrs. We see the group presumably coming back from the mission operation at an oil rig. One can only assume that it took a while in terms of transiting from boat all the way back to the base.

Then Graves betrays them and Soap and Ghost flee to Las Almas. By the time of the mission start of "Alone", the game places it as Nov 3rd 0000 hrs or 12 am.

Soap is injured and visibly in pain at the start of the mission. Somehow he manages to find Ghost and evade all the shadows, probably by running on pure adrenaline. Soap and Ghost find a truck and leave the city.

The next time we see them it's at Ale's base and there's some light in the background indicating time has passed between "Alone" at midnight to getting to the hideout.

There's no trace of injury on Soap. Perhaps Ghost patched Soap up. Ghost could have gotten supplies while he was running through Las Almas. It's possible something happened then when Ghost had to stop somewhere to deal with Soap's bullet wound. Some sort of adrenaline-fueled rush of passion that would make Ghost ignore all his better thoughts on staying away from the handsome snarky sergeant.

But the chances of them doing anything frisky in a time slot so narrow seems highly unlikely. It's probably not feasible all things considered. When we start "Prison Break" it's STILL Nov 3rd but at 0400 hrs. So the time elapsed between was a measly 4 hours.

Remember that Ghost and Soap are on the run from Shadow Company. Outside of the bare minimum of first aid, I can't see either of them spending the scant amount of time they have getting down and dirty.

Even then, if there was a free hour or so, that time would be best spent getting properly kitted up and checking over injuries. Let's also not forget that this is off the tailwind of "Dark Waters". Soap and Ghost had not had any rest in between whatever they might've gotten on transit back to base.

Not to mention when we see the timestamp for "Prison Break", Rudy, Ghost and Soap are already at the prison at 0400 hrs. There has to be transit time between the prison and the hideout. Ghost drove out of Las Almas to the hideout and then someone drove from the hideout to the prison. It probably would've taken a fair bit of time.

Hell, it doesn't even sound like they have enough time to spare patching up Soap, depending on how far out a drive this all was.

Rudy and group also spent time planning their prison break. We see helpful pictures drawn on maps. Gathering the kit and planning would eat into that 4hr time slot as well.

So yes. Tldr; there probably wasn't any time to do much of anything realistically.

Motivation wise and timeline wise, both of them heavily suggest that nothing happened in this time frame.

A shame. But we can however say that what happened between Ghost and Soap during the events of "Alone" remains a pivotal moment for them.

One that impacts Ghost's choices throughout the rest of the missions and conversely transforms his relationship with Soap (and the rest of 141 as a result). It establishes who they are to one another and how they interact with each other into arguably the rest of their known relationship from mwii (22) and further to the end of '23.

The one thing to take away from all this is this: when it comes to tracking the changes of Ghost and Soap's relationship, it'll always be Ghost determining where it'll go.

Soap doesn't push Ghost out of his comfort zone. Soap doesn't change. It's Ghost who decides how close Soap gets to him. It'll always be Ghost that sets the tone.

Alright that's all I have to say for now on this matter. This discussion really took all my energy. The next parts will again take some time as I recoup from this essay. Lol.

Onto part (2.4) hopefully the rest of mwii, whenever I get there.

+

Comments, questions, arguments. I'm free to answer any of that. There's so much to look at here and consider. A lot of this was guess work building up to this moment. So naturally I'm sure I've missed things.

[sophieinwonderland]

An Anti-Endo's Message for Willogenic Systems. Spoiler: Every Word is Wrong!

Starting off with ableist accusations of delusions.

They also don't seem to understand that willogenic systems don't generally will themselves to develop DID.

Maybe they're thinking of transDID. 🤷‍♀️

Accusations of DID faking stretch back a long time. Long before people started paying attention to endogenic and willogenic systems. And there's no evidence the existence of willogenic or endogenic systems has increased this.

In the infamous fakeclaiming McLean Hospital video, the people he used as examples from TikTok were mostly diagnosed traumagenic systems. In the incredibly flawed papers on "imitated DID," many of the case studies claimed to have trauma.

Also, I have it on good authority from many, many traumagenic DID systems that yes, DID systems can create alters.

Oh, and this gets even worse when you delve into the comments!

Now, system isn't really a medical term, and definitely isn't strictly used for people with DID or OSDD.

See Internal Family Systems therapy, for instance.

And outside of that, it's been used in non-medical contexts by non-disordered systems for close to 30 years.

I covered this particular talking point more in my Syscourse Primer.

Aside from the general misinformation though, I also do want to draw attention to the general ableism of calling people you think are suffering from delusions "insane."

Something they double down on, while also saying willogenic systems need hospitalized.

And they double down even further, saying that forced hospitalization is necessary for people.

And I'll say that I don't completely disagree with this there being cases where it's necessary.

At least, I think there are some very, VERY extreme circumstances where people will need to be temporarily hospitalized, such as if they're an immediate danger to themselves or others. There may be no other choice. (Say, if someone has a delusion that they could fly and had plans to test it by jumping off of a roof to prove to people they could.)

Without any sort of immediate danger though, forced hospitalization is likely to do far more harm than good.

This should only be a LAST RESORT option

It's overused as it is. And guess what? The medical community doesn't just lock up anyone who has any sort of delusion!

Not all delusions are harmful! Or, at least, not all delusions put someone at an immediate risk of causing harm to themselves or others.

And this is without touching on how "believing in something I don't like" isn't even a delusion.

At worst, the unfalsifiability of the claim puts this in the same realm as religion. You could just as easily apply this same logic to suggest anyone who feels the presence of God when they pray is delusional.

Part of the reason this is sticky is... who determines who is of sound mind? What gives them the right to strip away an innocent person's rights?

Because like it or not, forced medical confinement is imprisonment without trial, when no laws have been broken. Even if there are extreme cases where this may be necessary, the standard for this needs to be a lot higher than it is now.

And notably, they're suggesting we need a lower standard where anyone with any sort of delusion, or anything they deem to be a delusion, should be forced into confinement.

That is completely unacceptable.

What's even more confusing though is that they seem to suggest in another comment that the thing that makes people "insane" is using the word "willogenic" instead of "tulpa."

So it's not even wanting to lock people up for the belief they have people in their head...

But for calling them a word the OP doesn't want them to?

Imagine calling for people to have their rights stripped away and be forcefully confined because of disagreements over how a word is used!

...

And maybe this is getting nitpicky now...

But no they didn't...

They later showed a picture of this, where a willogenic anon asked how to BUY headmates. But they did not mention selling any.

The actual owner of that account, as far as I know, didn't identify as willogenic.

Oh, and they also posted another image as "proof" of this which didn't mention buying or selling headmates.

Oh, wait! That one is mine!

@artistry-andfandom

What was this screenshot even supposed to prove? Why did you use my post as an example of buying and selling headmates???