#The trauma shame forgiveness acceptance and LOVE

[celesteconivabowden]

Yeah and that's just it really. People can't see you because they can't see themselves. Most people don't even know themselves or their unconscious mind, in which they unconsciously operate from.

People can't see clearly.

People are unconscious.

People are also traumatised. People have mental disorders and illnesses. Which are unseen and normalised in this society. Because we aren't aware enough yet to notice.

We all suffer from similar things. We can help each other by talking about what we've been through and how to over come it. Being there for one another.

All of us have trauma to heal. Big or little. Trauma is something that has affected you psychologically and emotionally.

It stays in your mind (thoughts, beliefs, perspectives) and nervous system (emotions, heart space) until you heal it.

Our minds and hearts are traumatised.

Our minds and hearts are also polluted and conditioned to fuelling the ego because of our in bringing in this world and society.

The ego is mind, it's our thoughts. It's the beliefs, perspectives, thoughts and voices in your head which keep you separated from love and places you "above" another. Which is wrong.

The ego is hatred, jealously, addictions, fear, wrath, greed, lust, being judgemental, empathetic, pride, selfishness, being in genuine, enabling of bad behaviour, arrogance, lying, blaming, shaming, projecting, bullying.

It's all the ego.

We need to learn the difference between our Ego and the Real Self.

That's what we are learning this lifetime.

We are transforming out of the ego and into our real self.

We will see ourselves and each other for who we really are.

Underneath the ego is the real self.

The real self is Love, is soul. It's our highest potential. It's who we are underneath all our trauma, conditioning and the ego.

The real self is Love.

Love is empathy, compassion, kindness, happiness, creation, thoughtfulness, balance, righteousness, fair, flow forgiveness, peace, truth, loyalty, respect, acceptance, surrender, patience, abundant, will power, strength, disciplined, supportive, generous, positive, unconditional and eternal.

It's our thoughts, perspectives, beliefs, ideas, emotions and feelings that actually want nothing else other than Love and positivity.

The real self is the embodiment of self-less unconditional Love.

The real self sees everyone as family, as an ecosystem. To see that we are all connected. That we all depend on each other.

We are meant to lift each other up, support and look after one another.

The real self knows between right and wrong. It sees the true nature of the situation, of reality. It can see things from a higher perspective.

The real self whole heartedly chooses to do the right thing, not because it has to but because it wants to!

The real self wants to do the right by thing every one! Not just yourself. It doesn't even think twice about doing the right thing!

The real self doesn't like negativity, it's allergic to it! It actually feels uncomfortable doing the wrong thing.

The real self is anchored in Love and operates from pure positive, loving, compassionate intentions. ALWAYS. It won't even be a choice to be this way because it will become our new natural state of consciousness. Everything will only be seen through the eyes of Love. Our minds and hearts will only think and feel through the lens of empathy, compassion, love and unity.

The Ego

The ego is any thought or belief that keeps us separated from one other.

The ego are beliefs and thoughts that make you think you are "above" others.

The ego disrupts the natural flow of life and peace. The ego creates a divide (mentally, emotionally then sometimes eventually physically, if you don't change/stop it as thought).

The ego consciously and unconsciously seeks conflict and separation instead of peace, acceptance and a solution.

The ego judges people.

The ego distracts you. It creates illusions.

It enables bad behaviour and thoughts.

It hides you from being able to see the true nature of the situation, of reality.

It separates us from Love. It separates us from each other.

We need to correct this about our psyche.

We need to become aware of the ego. We are not the ego but a lot of people still think they are because they've never know their real self.

We need to know the difference between Ego and the real self.

We need to be in alignment with love. That's the centre point inside ALL OF US, we should ALL operate from, "Love".

Love is our guide. It is our home. It is our foundation, it is our base. Its the focal point that influences and affects everything around us.

Love is the only real thing, which we must prioritise and focus on.

Love is a feeling.

We personally and collectively need to remember who we are and relearn what "love" really is.

It's not just between two people. It's a force that connects every single one of us. Its the energy in which we were created from.

We are returning to Love.

We are evolving in consciousness and this includes learning/re remembering what "love" really is. We are coming back to who we are really are, which is Love.

We are eternal spiritual beings having a human experience. We are light, we are energy, we are evolving into a higher state of consciousness.

Once we change our thoughts, we change reality.

We are healing our minds and hearts this lifetime.

💫

The two things we need to heal on our human journey.

1. The ego

Know yourself. Know your ego. Dissolving the ego and returning back to soul, the real self (Love). It is the main operator you function from. Get to know yourself, your thoughts, your beliefs.(psychologically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually.)

2. Healing our trauma.

This is our children hood trauma, addictions, anything that lingers in your mind and heart that has affected you and keeps you stuck.

Once we heal these two things inside of us we will evolve into a higher state of consciousness.

We will ONLY see through the eyes of Love. We will ONLY think and feel as a being of Love.

Our beliefs, perspectives, the way we see each other and life will all be in alignment with Love.

We do this by being conscious. Being aware of our thoughts and emotions.

Is this coming from ego or my real self, love?

If ego then yes I need to change this about myself.

Identify the problem (what is the though I need to change?) Realise it's wrong, take accountablity.

Now change it. Heal, transmute, change, let go and transform.

Mantras, meditation, affirmations, mentally converse with yourself.

Know yourself and dissolve your ego.

Just be aware of your thoughts! And do not enable and entertain bad thoughts!

Be aware of the ego, alot of the ego is unconscious because we're unaware and you've been thinking/ acting like that for so long you dont notice it.

A lot of it is obvious and you are conscious of it. But you might be unwilling to change. When your aware of it and now you need to take it a step further and consciously work on transmuting and changing it.

Be so aware of your thoughts. Be aware when your thoughts lack empathy. Be aware when your fearful, judgemental, jealous, prideful...

Hold your ego accountable. The ego is wrong. It needs correcting.

See the ego in yourself as a child that needs parenting and guidance.

It your thought lacks empathy, it is wrong.

Hold your ego accountable.

Hold your thoughts accountable.

Hold your actions accountable.

Don't enable yourself to operate from the ego.

Don't let yourself think or believe that it's okay to mistreat people or judge them.

Hold space for people. Have compassion for people. Do not judge people.

Help people if you can and be kind to everyone.

This life time we are evolving into a higher state of consciousness which means knowing the ego, knowing the real self. Dissolving the ego.

And living in the embodiment of a healed mind and heart. ♥️

“I stopped explaining myself when I realized people only understand from their level of perception.”

— Unknown

[yukioos]

shoto loves to spoil you, especially with his dad’s money

shoto has lived with pain and trauma from his father, and how he treated him when he was younger. to the older man, his son was just something that would hopefully replace him and would surpass all might in his honor. however, even after endeavor became the number one hero and apologized for his abuse to his whole family, shoto did not forgive him.

although endeavor kept persisting, just wanting to make up with his son, the boy would not falter for even a second. he did not show a single ounce of sympathy for his father, for he sent his mother to a hospital, and bound him and his siblings with lifelong trauma.

shoto would try to use his father’s guilt to his advantage, however. one way he would manipulate his shame for his actions was by tricking his father into letting him use his card whenever he wanted. endeavor always accepted because kids love money, right? what better way is there to gain trust than by giving gifts and unlimited money?

to be truthful, shoto didn’t care much about spending money on things. he didn’t yearn for much anyways and didn’t feel the need to spend money on things that weren’t necessary. however, if having money meant he could spend it on you, that was a whole different situation.

if he basically had an unlimited amount of money, why not use it on you?

so when you and shoto began dating, you were surprised to have packages or bags of your favorite food delivered to your doorstep. even if you texted or told him you were hungry, he would always correctly guess what you wanted, and not even thirty minutes later, a bag of your favorite food was at your front door. when the two of you would visit some sort of market or store, shoto would notice if your eyes lingered on something for a bit too long, and it would be in your cart in less than a second.

even if it was some heels or a cute jacket from a designer brand, he would buy it for you no matter the cost. you were listening to a music artist more often than usual? he already booked you two tickets to their show when they come to japan.

shoto never needed to put much thought into his gifts. he always knew exactly what you wanted at what time, and hardly mentioned his gift in preparation. it was a normal thing for him to do, and he loved buying you little trinkets when he went on missions too, muttering, “i don’t know, i just thought of you.”

months after the two of you started dating, endeavor wasn't even phased when he saw multiple charges on his card within an hour.

hope you guys liked this one! i love writing for shoto ahhh!! sorry if this was a bit too angsty or had too many mentions of trauma/abuse, i couldn’t help myself. also shoto’s petty as hell so i kinda love this

[funhouse-mirror-barbie]

I may go into more detail about “Sinsmas” later, but I did want to talk about what I considered to be the one scene/sequence that I thought was very well done and that I truly enjoyed—Octavia’s song, “I Will Be Okay”.

(Song/Character Discussion below)

Octavia’s song is almost everything I could have asked for. A somber echo of Stolas’ song from season 1, Octavia’s I Will Be Okay, finally, finally, gives Octavia a voice and the chance to express her grief over her father’s abandonment.

For the first time in the series, there’s no one to tell Octavia that she should give her dad some slack or that she should forgive him. She’s finally allowed to be upset, to fully mourn her relationship with Stolas and to get mad about what happened. She’s finally allowed to start working towards accepting the ways Stolas’ neglected her, and begin healing from that pain and trauma.

Octavia’s experience is both terribly heart-wrenching and, in the most painful way, freeing. The lyrics reflect that perfectly, with Octavia acknowledging that while she’s not okay now because of everything Stolas put her through, she WILL be okay, and will grow into her own person without him.

The song is a direct response to Stolas’. Octavia is answering him, saying “Yes, I will be okay. Not because of anything that you were supposed to or failed to provide me as a father, but because I will forge my own path, and in doing so will heal from the pain you caused me.”

It’s a bittersweet song about finding the strength to cut contact with someone you loved who has repeatedly failed you in the worst ways, and who isn’t going to change.

I do have one “criticism” for this song and sequence, not because anything from it was poorly done, but because, in my opinion, the song’s visuals could have been even better.

The following scene was in the original storyboards for “I Will Be Okay”, and was changed in the final episode:

I think the decision to change the visuals for these lyrics in the song was a mistake. Please don’t get me wrong, the animation in this entire episode was fantastic, my critiques of Helluva Boss are almost never about the animation.

But the above sequence just has so much more emotional weight to me. It’s the visualization of Octavia realizing she can’t rely on Stolas, that she has to look to herself for comfort.

Octavia taking her younger self from her neglectful father’s arms, symbolizing that she’s accepted that Stolas cannot be depended on and that she’ll have to take care of herself now, is such a powerful image.

It really is a shame to me that they cut this scene, because I think it fully encapsulates everything Octavia has been through in such a simple and effective way. I think the scene really loses something by cutting this visual.

With all of that said though, Octavia’s song, and the scene where she FINALLY calls Stolas out for his behavior were very cathartic for me. I know that the scene’s intent was most likely to make us empathize with Stolas for losing his daughter, but I found myself empathizing only with Octavia, and hoping that she gets the time she needs to heal.

I would love it if the show actually let her decide whether or not she wants Stolas back in her life, but given the way HB’s writers portray women, I worry that it’s likely some big event will happen that “reveals” Stella to be awful, and Octavia will forgive Stolas just like that, and will probably end up apologizing to him instead (like in “Seeing Stars”)

Anyway, just like Octavia being the only good thing in Stolas’ life, “I Will Be Okay” was, in my opinion, the only good thing in “Sinsmas”. (well that and Octavia calling Stolas out)

[vanilladove]

Hello, I am writing to you anonymously out of shame but you can call me Emy I was reading your blog and I was totally delighted with how you wrote and I wanted to make a request: could you write for Chuuya, Jouno, Dazai and Poe (you can add more if you like) with a reader like Mikan from danganronpa If you don't know her, her personality is a little (very) shy and she is surprised by the slightest show of affection (she is even surprised if you say good morning), often despising herself, asking others to forgive her existence and when people Annoyed with her, she tends to ask if she can take off her clothes or imitate a pig so that they can forgive her for all this because she suffered harassment in the past. I'm sorry if the request is very big 😭 but I would be grateful if you accept it (nothing happens if you don't either) I'm sorry if there are spelling errors but English is not my first language and I am using Google Translator. ♡

⋆˚࿔ ˚⋆ bsd men with a v shy + fragile reader

bow divider yeribbon

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ pairing: various bsd men x gn!reader (dazai, atsushi, chuuya, akutagawa, jouno, poe)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ genre: comforting fluff!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ content warnings: none! also i'm not v familiar with daganronpa, so apologies for any inaccuracies! i'm just going off what wiki fandom says (。-∀-)

⊹ ࣪ ˖ dazai osamu

doesn't mind your personality, although at first he teases you mercilessly until he realizes it isn't just an act.

as someone that has also gone through trauma, he would gradually soften up to your personality and reassure you of your worth.

dazai is a very impatient man though, so expect his method of choice to be exposure therapy...like extreme exposure therapy...like bro might slap some sense into you like atsushi & akutagawa ( ó × ò)

when you start over-apologizing, he'll put a finger to your lips and stroke your face and hair to calm you down (ღˇᴗˇ)｡o

expect lots of subtle displays of affection like hand kisses, kissing away tears, and general affectionate flirting.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ atsushi nakajima

your demeanor confuses atsushi at first, to the point where he cries after the first time he meets you :,(

you're going to get a sentimental, heartfelt speech about how you deserve to live, and how you aren't a burden to anyone.

poor atsu cries over you--you guys probably have daily cry + cuddle sessions.

will do random things to cheer you up and give you many words of affirmation.

buys you a tiger plushie sprayed with his cologne to cuddle with when he isn't with you for comfort ♡

i'd like to think that through helping you, atsushi also helps address his own self-esteem issues ^w^

⊹ ࣪ ˖ akutagawa ryunosuke

hates you at first and sees you as a cowardly weakling.

it isn't until one day he randomly compliments or helps you and catches your shy/flustered expression that he begins to feel some sympathy.

will gradually visit you more until you stop flinching whenever he approaches you. he can tell you're intimidated by him because of his personality and notorious reputation.

it's definitely hard for akutagawa to be soft with you, since he's a rough person, but he tries his best to be gentle with you.

shows his care through actions more than words (sharing food with you, doing constant check-ins, guiding your back when walking with you, etc.)

promises threatens to kill those who have harmed and harassed you in the past.

becomes overprotective over you, getting mad when anyone--even jokingly--teases you.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ chuuya nakahara

tough love~!!!

expect a lot of "huh, what the hell are you talking about?" anytime you apologize for something small or suggest some self-sabotage

since you aren't used to affection and often try to reject gifts, thinking you aren't worth giving them to, chuuya will 'lovebomb' you with gifts until you get used to them as the norm and accept them willingly.

although he may seem short-tempered and easily irritated, he'll always make time to sit down with you and listen to your rants/past stories and engage in deep conversations.

holds your hands and reminds you of how strong and talented you are--will keep drilling it into your head until it sticks.

carries tissues in his suit for when you cry.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ edgar allen poe

this man may be your twin...honestly he's a bit of a mess himself, so he doesn't know how to help you.

i think poe would be relieved to find someone similar to him--also very shy and awkward/bad at socializing.

if you started apologizing when there was a pause in conversation, he would probably apologize back, and you two would go back and forth until karl bites him (꒪▿꒪)

since you both mainly only find confidence in your talents/skills, he would get to know your strengths as much as possible and encourage you to do your best!

will also share his book plots with you, taking you with him into the books and getting your feedback, never missing the chance to show you something beautiful he secretly wrote just for you

overall, poe would make you feel less alone and isolated, helping you gain confidence overtime!

⊹ ࣪ ˖ jouno saigiku

since you're already so fragile and frantic, jouno wouldn't find any pleasure in torturing or messing with you

ends up helping you under the pretense of "calming down your raging heartbeat and nerves that are too loud"; in reality, he notices how you're always on edge and just wants you to experience some peace and quiet.

jouno's sensitive to others' emotions, so i think if you were having a panic attack or extreme anxiety, he'd immediately hug + hold you until you calmed down again (ㅅ´ ˘ `)

like the rest, he'd offer you words of affirmation and hold your hand in public/around other people.

will stick around you to ward off anyone who tries to bully you or exploit your personality; blushes uncontrollably if you thank him for his simple acts ♡

[xxsyluslittlecrowxx]

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

[ 𝐒𝐲𝐥𝐮𝐬 ]

A collection of every story I’ve written in Sylus’s name—and every one I’m still aching to tell. Each piece is a fragment of him: the silence, the storm, the ache that never really leaves.

This is where he lives now. Between the lines. In the longing.

𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 — 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐮𝐭

Sylus locks himself away to survive the dragon’s rut, but when his mate finds him, his restraint shatters. Consumed by instinct and desperate need, he claims her in a frenzy of hunger, worship, and ruin—where love feels as dangerous as desire.

𝐜𝐰/𝐭𝐰 : Explicit content, dark themes, primal/feral rut, knotting, consent/touch starvation, possessive obsession, heavy angst, sacred/profane dynamics. NSFW.

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬 : Completed.

𝐀𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐎𝐰𝐧 : [ Press Here! ]

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐 — 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥

In the aftermath of ruin, Sylus faces the shame and tenderness that follow violence made holy. Wracked by guilt, he struggles to accept forgiveness from the woman he nearly destroyed—only to find that her love, raw and unwavering, might be the hardest mercy of all.

𝐜𝐰/𝐭𝐰 : Explicit aftermath/aftercare, deep angst, guilt, self-loathing, consent complex, bruising, blood, heavy emotional themes, dark self-reflection, worshipful but destructive dynamics, hurt/comfort. NSFW.

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬 : Completed.

𝐀𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐎𝐰𝐧 : [ Press Here! ]

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟑 — 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡

In the crucible of birth, Sylus faces the terror of losing his mate—and the miracle of holding both her and their child at the edge of life and death. Shaken by fear and awe, he discovers a new kind of love: fierce, protective, and humbling, for the family forged in fire and pain.

𝐜𝐰/𝐭𝐰 : Graphic birth, medical distress, near-death experience, explicit emotional vulnerability, hurt/comfort, intense angst, themes of trauma and healing, dragon family dynamics. NSFW.

𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 : Completed

𝐀𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐎𝐰𝐧 : [ Press Here! ]

𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐞. 𝐈 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 — 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐲 𝐒𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢��𝐧

What begins as a tense, ordinary night at home unravels into a heated game of questions and answers, as Sylus turns studying into seduction. Each correct answer strips away another layer—of clothing and composure—until intellect, desire, and surrender collide, leaving them both undone by the end.

𝐜𝐰/𝐭𝐰 : Explicit sexual content, power dynamics, mild bondage (wrist holding), consensual predator/prey kink, D/s undertones, orgasm control/edging, mild roughness (biting, marking), praise and degradation, explicit language. Mentions of academic stress and exhaustion. NSFW.

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬 : Completed.

𝐀𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐎𝐰𝐧 : [ Press Here! ]

𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞. 𝐀𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭.

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 — 𝐃𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐨𝐬

She finds unexpected comfort and belonging in Sylus’s kitchen, where a midnight dance party, playful banter, and a shared meal with Sylus turn the mansion from a place of intimidation into the beginnings of home.

𝐜𝐰/𝐭𝐰 : Light domestic fluff, mild embarrassment, brief feelings of being out of place/insecurity, playful language, canon-typical snark. No explicit content.

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬 : Completed.

𝐀𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐎𝐰𝐧 : [ Press Here! ]

𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐬

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 — 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐝

When Sylus stumbles into the hospital, bloodied and half-feral, the last person he expects to find waiting is Zayne—calm, cold, and far too composed. But beneath the antiseptic lights and tension-laced stitching, something unspoken begins to crack. A rivalry forged in fire gives way to something darker, deeper… needier. And when the night finally stills, their restraint does not.

Enemies don’t always stay enemies—especially when desire tastes like blood and victory comes in moans.

𝐜𝐰/𝐭𝐰 : blood and injury, a brief hospital setting, explicit sexual content between two male characters (Sylus x Zayne, SnowCrow), rough sex, biting, mild dominance dynamics, and themes of emotional repression. NSFW

𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 : completed.

𝐀𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐎𝐰𝐧 : [ Press Here !]

𝐓𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐲

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏 — 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐌𝐞

Some days, Sylus carries her. Some days, he simply holds her hand as she winces through the smallest movements, his presence an anchor against the ache. Pain reshapes the boundaries of their world, but never the shape of his devotion. In quiet moments and in touches measured for comfort, Sylus learns the language of her limits—and how to love her fiercely, gently, without ever asking her to be anything but herself.

𝐜𝐰/𝐭𝐰 : This story explores life with chronic pain and physical disability, and features gentle, adaptive intimacy within a supportive relationship.

𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 : 05th of May

𝐀𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐎𝐰𝐧 : [ Yet to be released! ]

Sylus has become my muse in so many ways, and I’m endlessly grateful for all the prompts, ideas, and support you’ve given me. If you have more requests, thoughts, or wishes for Sylus stories, please don’t hesitate to dive into my ask box—I’d love to bring more of him to life for you.

(List will be updated)

xoxo — 𝐒𝐲𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐂𝐫𝐨𝐰

[cursedonyx]

Sebastian and Ominis Headcanons

Sebastian

✧ Adores chocolate to the point it’s almost comical. His absolute favourite is Honeydukes Best Chocolate (which in my mind tastes like a Hotel Chocolat’s milk chocolate with just a hint of caramel and vanilla), but he’s happy with any chocolate except really dark chocolate. Anything above 80% and he’ll turn his nose up at it. Left to his own devices with free reign at night in Honeydukes, you’d find him in the morning in a sugar coma with his tummy almost bursting his shirt buttons, his face covered in chocolate stains and looking about as happy as it’s possible to look.

✧ He’s got rotten hay fever and may occasionally make use of the bubblehead charm when the pollen count’s high. He doesn’t care if people laugh and is happy to explain why – this led to a lot of students capable of using the charm imitating him if they have hay fever.

✧ Loves cats but adores dogs, particularly if they’re big and dopey, like Labradors or Great Danes. He’s not particularly fond of small, yappy dogs like Jack Russells, which is the complete opposite of his twin.

✧ He’s got an immune system like a tank and will shake off most colds and tummy bugs with relative ease, but when he gets poorly, he gets really poorly. Even so, he’ll try and pretend that nothing’s wrong, even when he’s white as a sheet and sweating, barely able to stand. Ominis has had to knock him out and levitate him to the Hospital Wing on more than one occasion to get him to accept help.

✧ On that note, he absolutely refuses any kind of help unless it’s on behalf of someone else. He’s happy to accept help when he’s searching for a cure for Anne, but if he’s struggling with an essay, confused about his feelings for someone, or just needs to process something, he won’t ask for help, and tries to play it off as him just having an off day.

✧ Sebastian thinks fart jokes are hilarious. The whoopee cushion was invented in the 1930s, and Sebastian was a menace with the damn thing. Think Leslie Neilsen bringing a fart machine to interviews.

✧ Sebastian is a proper summer baby and loves being outside in the sunshine. He loves the excuse to splash about in streams or go swimming, and has tried to teach Ominis how to swim. Sadly, Ominis isn’t keen on the idea as he can’t tell where anything is in the water.

✧ Sebastian’s temper is like a firecracker; quick to spark, quick to explode, and just as quick to go out. He doesn’t forgive easily, especially if the person who’s annoyed him has deliberately tried to hurt him or someone he loves, but he doesn’t tend to hold grudges. Unless it's serious, if he can’t get revenge in a week or two, he tends to move on from the idea though that doesn’t mean he won’t hate the person for a time.

✧ Sebastian’s opinions of people always start out neutral, and they can be swayed positively or negatively through a variety of factors. Lots of little positive things can be overshadowed by one huge negative, but it takes a lot more effort to change his negative opinion to a positive one.

✧ He eats anything and everything. He’s got a big appetite and tends to consume food at a rate that would shame a graphorn. If he didn’t have so much nervous energy, he’d probably end up a little porky.

✧ His boggart would be Anne’s corpse. If Anne is cured, or he has to spend any time in Azkaban, this changes to a dementor.

✧ His animagus form and patronus would be a fox without a doubt – his colouring would be browner than most foxes and mottled with darker ‘freckles’ all down his back and tail. His favourite part about being an animagus is having a tail.

Ominis

✧ Doesn’t like sweets, and particularly loathes chocolate, much to Sebastian’s horror. This is due to his upbringing and a particular trauma around his parents trying to cure his blindness then forcing him to eat chocolate as a ‘reward,’ no matter how much he didn’t want to, and he was shouted at until he ate it. Consuming something chocolatey will bring back those memories, so he avoids it where possible.

✧ He absolutely adores tiny summer strawberries though, and he will actively seek them out. They’re very hard for him to find by himself and he usually gets a bit down if he can’t find any, so if you go foraging and present him with a punnet, there’s a pretty strong chance he’ll fall in love with you.

✧ Has no allergies, but gets poorly relatively easily. If there’s a cold going about Hogwarts, you can bet that Ominis will catch it if he’s not patient zero. He’s like an illness magnet in that way. Similarly to Sebastian, he won’t complain about it unless he’s in a romantic relationship, then all he’ll do is whine because he knows his partner will make a big fuss of him and look after him the way his family never did. He’s a sucker for being pampered.

✧ Ominis has a bit of a sensitive tummy, and he tends to stick to foods he knows are safe. He’s happy to try new foods, but he prefers to try them in very small amounts to minimise the risk of upsetting his stomach.

✧ Ominis gets hilariously embarrassed around toilet humour, and for the most part pretends that people don’t go to the bathroom. If it comes up in conversation, he either won’t engage and pretend it’s not happening, or he’ll change the subject at the first opportunity.

✧ He’s a cat magnet, and even the most aloof or grumpy cats will be happy to curl up in his lap. They love finding Ominis during one of his naps, and unless he’s in his dorm or the Undercroft, he’ll wake up in a puddle of cats. He finds them very comforting.

✧ He adores snakes and longs to have one as a pet, but after an incident when he was seven involving a snake he made friends with that he called Daisy, and his brother Marvolo, he’s absolutely terrified of making friends with another one, just in case Marvolo does what he did again (Considering doing a very angsty and painful short fic of this idea, but it’s pretty unpleasant so I’m in two minds).

✧ Hates being cold, but suffers terribly in the heat. UK summers are horribly humid, and he can’t stand it. A dryer summer heat like the South of France is the only kind he can tolerate, and he’s grateful the Slytherin common room is in the dungeons, so at least he can still sleep in the summer. Otherwise, he will complain constantly about how hot it is.

✧ Ominis is a filthy gossip. Any kind of rumour and he’ll hear about it and spread it with relish, especially if it’s about someone that’s wronged him in the past. Even without this, he loves to gossip about absolutely anything, and those that know will often seek him out to ask if rumours are true. He wields this small power with satisfaction, especially as it means he’s able to field any rumours about his friends and turn attention to other things going about the castle.

✧ Ominis has a long memory and a fertile imagination. Though his patience for shenanigans is short, it’s unending when it comes to plotting revenge. If you wrong the Prince of Snakes, you better be on your guard for the rest of your life. He will not forget, and the punishment will always fit the crime. Unless of course he hates the person in question or is protecting his loved ones, then you can expect Ominis to go scorched earth in order to get revenge.

✧ Ominis’ boggart doesn’t have a physical form, but it takes on the sound of hissing snakes. To the casual observer, they’d think he was frightened of snakes, and Ominis is perfectly happy to let people think that. In actuality, it’s his family speaking to him in Parseltongue, reminding him of his worst experiences of home and threatening to take him away from his friends, forcing him to live with them and bow to their ways.

✧ Ominis has a healthy dose of fear of his parents, but he’s absolutely terrified of Marvolo. Marvolo bullied him relentlessly when they were young, and once Noctua went missing, it only got worse, and their parents never discouraged it, claiming it would help Ominis build character. Marvolo is the person Ominis nightmares about the most.

✧ Ominis’ patronus and animagus form is a serpent, but contrary to typical animagi/patronuses, which tend to mimic each other, Ominis’ patronus is an enormous snake, similar to an anaconda, while his animagus form is more similar to a ball python, pale gold in colour with darker scales that mimic his beauty marks.

Masterlist

[evanhereonearth]

They have both known the terror of disappearing in plain sight.

With every eye on them, with upturned faces watching them in hope, pleading with them for deliverance. With the ferocity of enemies turned upon them, with everyone certain they know exactly who stands at the forefront of the revolution, the movement, the breaking wave of history—they have both been caught by the riptide and dragged under where there souls can no longer breathe.

“You came here to help, Solas. I won’t let them use that against you.”

“And how would you stop them?”

“However I had to.”

The simple first moments of seeing and being seen. A spirit long since wrenched from the Fade and given physical form he didn’t seek, waking in a world where no one sees him as a person. A prisoner turned religious icon looks him in the eye and says she agrees that spirits are people. And he recognises the spirit in her for as rare and marvellous as any he’s seen.

Quiet curiosity. Trust. Patience. Love.

The brutality of trauma. The bonds of desperation. The self-rejection of long-festering shame. Sowing seeds in the hopes that they will not die, that something of the truest self will remain no matter the tales the world tells of either of them. Murderer. Traitor. Heretic. Hero. Harellan.

This is the journey. The paths had to diverge, had to give time to those seeds to sprout and bear fruit.

But love. Oh, love, building back self under the weight of the world. Stretching out roots that allow a spirit to grow.

Acceptance. Grace.

He is still Wisdom. He knows the burden of a wound that turns septic; he remembers the regret of his own naïveté and will not take advantage of hers no matter how healing her heartbeat against his.

And she learns.

She learns as he walks away twice. As she feels him in the Fade, returning, always returning. To her. To her heart, where he hides his truest self.

“Tell me you don’t love me!”

“I cannot do that, vhenan.”

She learns the weight of his regrets and the wisdom of his reasons. She seeks out the din’an shiral not to blindly follow but to walk beside; she gives him the space he needs.

She knows the paths cannot help but converge.

She finds those seeds sprouting in her heart, the truest knowledge of seeing and being seen—that he trusted her with himself because he knew the world would wound him from Wisdom into Pride anew, and he needed the shelter of her heart of Grace. So someone would remember Solas instead of Fen’Harel.

When she finds her understanding, she tends to the vines that grow between their hearts. She does not sever them. She has planted seeds of her own in his; her faithfulness and her compassion, her ferocity in believing he is worthy of being saved.

She knows his deepest fear, and she watches him face it on that fateful day when their paths converge once more, watches him walk towards an endless future of being alone until his death. The finality of forever.

Her power, her Wisdom, her strength to take up her path by his side.

“I will go to seek atonement.”

“But you do not have to go alone.”

So much love in simple words. So much truth beneath their surface.

You are worthy of healing, she says.

You are worthy of forgiveness, she says.

You are worthy of grace, she says.

And we have waited long enough.

[justcallmemrslupin]

In Defense of Remus Lupin: Misunderstood, Not a Coward

There’s a recurring pattern in fandom that deeply saddens me: the tendency to vilify Remus Lupin for the lowest moment of his life — leaving Tonks during her pregnancy — while ignoring the lifetime of pain, sacrifice, and silent heroism that led him there.

Let’s be clear: Remus Lupin is not a coward. He is a man shaped by a society that taught him to hate himself.

A Life of Stigma and Loss

Remus was bitten as a child and spent his life being treated like a dangerous outcast. Even when he did everything right — got an education, made friends, joined the Order — he lived in fear of being discovered and rejected. His trauma wasn’t just physical; it was systemic, emotional, and constant.

His self-control wasn’t just about keeping others safe — it was about trying to hold on to his humanity. When he calls himself a “creature,” it’s not metaphor. It’s how he sees himself. And that’s tragic.

The War, Grief, and a Crumbling Mind

By the time Deathly Hallows opens, Remus has:

• Lost his only connection to his teenage years, Sirius;

• Lost his mentor and father figure (Dumbledore);

• Been shamed into a relationship he didn’t think he deserved;

• Been shamed publicly and privately for not accepting that relationship sooner;

• Been forced to live under constant threat, while society still devalues his existence.

When he tries to leave Tonks, it isn’t out of neglect. It’s because he believes he is hurting her by being near (and, let's face it, he was right!). He thinks that loving him will destroy her (and it did!) That Teddy will grow up ashamed. That the best gift he can give them is his absence.

It’s heartbreaking, but it’s not cowardice. It’s despair.

The Scene We Should All Re-Read

“Lupin actually seized handfuls of his own hair; he looked quite deranged.”

— Deathly Hallows, Chapter 11

In this scene, Lupin doesn’t speak like a man who made a rational choice. He speaks like someone in the midst of a mental breakdown. Everything he says is steeped in self-loathing:

“I made a grave mistake in marrying Tonks…”

“Even her own family is disgusted by our marriage…”

“It will be better off… without a father of whom it must always be ashamed.”

This is not someone running from responsibility. This is someone convinced that his very presence is the danger.

Everyone Else Broke, Too

The wizarding world was collapsing. People we admire made horrific choices under stress: Harry used Unforgivable Curses. Dumbledore lied for years. Ron abandoned his friends. Even Hermione nearly erased herself from existence.

Remus had one breakdown (after a long period of pressure) and for that, fandom calls him a coward?

And Here’s What’s Strange

Fandom often bends over backward to redeem characters like Sirius Black — who was reckless, emotionally manipulative, and treated both Remus and Harry poorly — and Severus Snape, who bullied children, held lifelong grudges, and only switched sides out of unrequited love.

But Remus? The man who spent his life protecting others, who carried his burdens in silence, who came back to face the consequences of his worst moment — he is the one people won’t forgive?

It says something sad about how fandom defines strength and worth.

But He Came Back

That’s the part people forget: Remus came back.

He returned to Tonks. He held his baby in his arms. He fought and died for a better world — not for glory, but so that Teddy could live in a better world, and free from the shame Remus carried all his life.

And that… is not cowardice. That is strength.

[homosexualgirlandbags]

Somewhere out there, in the infinities that exist, there probably exists a version of John Price who hates himself for liking men. More than he ever does in this one. (Religious trauma btw)

He hates himself for loving Nik, for letting down his defenses in front of him. He watches the man slip through his office door, and the gap in his heart widen when the russian slips off his jacket.

He shouldn't be doing this. This is a sin against god. He could hear his father's boots getting closer somewhere in the background. The belt clinking echoes in his mind. He looks at the beau in front of him, all warm and inviting, yet disgust could only bloom in place of whatever romantic feelings he would have felt for him.

It felt wrong to enjoy the man's attention, to crave him so deep in his heart, he's afraid he can't tear it out and stop it. It feels like a crime against god, against his father, a man he could never compete with to let the man disarm him so easily. Dirt and sweat might not stick to his skin, but no amount of scrubbing under hot water could remove the disgust he feels for himself for even wanting Nik.

He doesn't look up at the pilot as he sits opposite him, talking about something irrelevant. John feels fucking dirty for even wanting Nik's eyes on him. What was he? A proper slut waiting to be appraised? He wants to set himself on fire, to remove his skin entirely, to be laid out under the sun, tortured, only if it means stopping the feelings he has for Nik. He wants to pray for forgiveness for a god that has long since abandoned him, and every second of smelling Nik's cologne so close to him only serves as a reminder that he was disgusting.

"Get out. For Christ sakes, get out"

He doesn't look up, his hands never stop as he writes and writes. A confession to some higher being, to cleanse him of all sin. A recycled prayer he heard from conversion camp years ago cycles through his head, the guilt all consuming in his heart. He deserves to rot in hell for his delusions, that Nik would ever like him back, that he would accept John for what he is. He ignores the confused russian muttering opposite him, focusing his attention on an uncaring god for cursing him with these feelings.

He doesn't look up as he hears the door close with a soft click after Nikolai.

Hours later, John sits alone in his office, halfway through a frantic prayer. A plea for help, a guidance to change his ways. The cross sits heavily across his chest, a reminder of his illogical feelings towards Nik. He thinks about what he's done, how it had all led up to this moment, his breaking. John doesn't move from his spot from the window, tears quietly streaming down his face as he mumbles out another prayer. His throat is sore and his knees are aching, yet the internalized disgust doesn't go away, nor does his feelings for Nik.

He avoids Nik the next month in a futile attempt to curb the feelings before they get out of hand. It doesn't work, and the longing for his the pilot's (when did he start to refer to Nik as his? Christ he must be cursed) attention only grows stronger each day he denies himself of Nik. His attention feels like a need now, an ever growing sense of guilt and shame blanketing over his need for Nik. The need only grows stronger when he sees Nik chatting up some guy years younger than him, unfamiliar jealousy grows in him as Nik ushers the man into his car, disappearing from view.

He would rather carve out his heart and serve it to god himself before ever admitting to wanting Nikolai in his life, in his bed though.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Jang Wonyoung Perspective Reading

Disclaimer: No facts, just interpretation of the cards and messages I get.

I still wanted to get through my favorite male Kpop idols before I dive into any girl group members, but she was on my radar and she is known as a controversial Kpop figure, be it good or bad, she is talked about and sought after, so thought I get to her. So, of course the song Barbie Girl by Aqua came up for me. On the surface she can be depicted as such. In Korea she is the standard of what people would like to look like whether you agree or not. I do feel there could be more to her story. I hope it isn't as creepy as I think it may be, but we'll see, now to the cards.

Okay, well, this may go the route I was expecting. There is a lot of shame and guilt she feels. She got both the cards of gilded regret and down cast pride. This could be due to hate comments she gets. She may also get comments by people around her that make her feel like shit. Now with the is this me card, she doesn't particularly know who she is. Has she got plastic surgery? It is like she has no sense of self and maybe looks at herself and doesn't know who she is. She is molded to how they wanted her to be. Man, the Barbie Girl reference makes even more sense. She is just confused as to who she really is. There are things she has regretting doing and that she feels shame in. Now with this Bride in a Cage card, the person on the card is rather thin and frail, kind of a shell of themselves, practically dead inside. She may never feel good enough. I am getting the message body dysmorphia from the card, just the messenger, not saying she has it. It is like she thinks about is this really the direction I want to go. She has kind of morphed into their puppet is what I am getting. It is like she is a clone of herself. Who she was she isn't anymore and who she is now, she isn't sure, like she asks herself who am I? What do I think? She isn't sure.

There is like an inner battle with herself. This unwillingness to accept part of herself, probably more so her flaws. She fights anything that goes against her image, not sure what that means exactly. I can also see this card as people fighting for her attention. She prefers the solitude and being alone away from all the distractions. She can pretty much be a loner. There is a secure base she has made for herself, to keep her safe, she does her best to keep to her image. She does not want to fail, look weak, or show any cracks. There is a sense of forgiveness she has for others for maybe what they have done or said to her. I say she is more forgiving to them then maybe herself. Well, the card I didn't want to come out, but was expecting to come out was the traumatized card and that came out. I got hints of this in the Dark Mirror reading. She dealt with some sort of trauma, now is it the mean comments, the surgery she may have to go through, or some sort of abuse, not sure I want to go there. She is trying not to get angry, upset or frustrated about what has been done to her, but to rise above and keep her cool. I have to take deep breaths during this reading, because I am getting what I expected and I wanted to be wrong, now I still can be, but energetically, something is off here. I just want to say when someone gets traumatized, they tend to dissociate to help move on and not relive the past or situation. Like I am getting that wasn't me, that was someone else, this is kind of a coping strategy, this is what I am sensing, no facts.

Okay, love these cards here. I wanted to see a bit more positivity here. She has a strong divine feminine energy. Is she follows her intuition and connect with her spirituality and use her creative energy she can very move through this and gain success in her own right. She may be already doing this. She seems to be spiritually guided and protected at the moment that can help guide her in the right direction. There is something good for her to come out of her terrible past and things she may have faced. As long as she keeps kindness in her heart and communicates from the heart and does not allow this to harden her or make her into a villain, so what I am getting is you know how victims can being villains and repeat the cycle. This tells her to keep kindness within her, so she doesn't turn into that in whatever form that it would be for her. Like she can go on a path to being very nasty and cruel to others, possibly a bully, but she doesn't have to go down that path, hurt people do hurt others, but it doesn't have to be that way. She can break that cycle.

There is some spiritual growth she needs to and can learn from what has happened in her career. She may have had to face the challenges she has to obtain the growth she needs on a personal/spiritual level, but if she dealt with any sort of trauma/abuse not a great lesson to learn as a human. On a spiritual level it makes sense, but no one wants that on a human level, that is a terrible experience to go through. Her life mission is to gain spiritual lessons through her work. Now with this House 8 card, the keywords on the cards are about transformation and Karma. I read it as transforming Karma, so whatever karma she may have, she can transform it and break that chain of cycle.

Both these card numbers come to 11 from this spread. 10 is a closing of a cycle, so I see 11 as a new chapter and beginning for her. To release the old cycle and start new. They are asking her to trust things as they are and that things will align itself for her. To trust that things will work out for her. To kind of look at the big picture. They kind of, I say they, because I sense this is more guidance from the collective/guides, even though she won't see this, they may want us to know lol It is like they want her to look at this from a spiritual perspective to look to why it happened for her, but no to her, very hard to do that on a human level though. They are asking her to be more gentle, soft and kind, once again, to not get too hardened, cold and harsh from what she experienced. Okay, walking in circles here, now ended it with Tarot.

Okay, this 5 of Swords is very telling, a lot of keywords here, so she may be falling for the trap of being cruel to others, or this is done to her, or it is cycle. The keywords on this card are argumentative, hurtful comments, conflict with others, avoidant, challenging to be around and pushes others away. I feel these all apply to her. I feel she tends to keep her distance as much as possible, but can get triggered and say mean things, but this can also be done to her. See, now with the Libra energy, this is like the opposite energy, a need to please others, do what they are told. I can also get the vibe with certain Libra's is that they don't really know who they are, they kind of mold themselves to what other people want them to be. I can see that with her. So, on one end she could say hurtful things, but she always finds a way to make peace, she may be the one to always apologize, even if she isn't in the wrong. Now with the Queen of Pentacles, she is successful and abundant in her own right. Her career is very important to her. She values her career. This may be something she puts above anything else. She would do anything to hold tight to what she has and what she earned. There is a nurturing and giving aspect to her as well. I feel this woman earned and worked hard for what she has achieved and has been through a lot of shit to get there, so I give props to her for that.

Okay, that went how I expected it, of course the first parts were a bit hard, but there were some highlights here. I just hope she works on healing and listens to the guidance to be gentler towards herself and others. Happy I did this, quite fascinating.

[hrizantemy]

“Nesta said bad things about Feyre in the cabin and slut-shamed her for being with Isaac Hale.”

• Nesta’s attitude towards Feyre in the cabin was indeed dismissive, but context matters. Nesta was deeply resentful of their father, who abandoned his responsibilities, and she projected that resentment onto Feyre, the youngest sister, who had taken on the family’s burdens.

• Regarding slut-shaming, there is no explicit moment in the text where Nesta shames Feyre for being with Isaac. Any judgment Nesta showed was rooted in her own insecurities, societal expectations, and strained relationship with Feyre, not a moral condemnation of Feyre’s choices.

“Nesta wasn’t helping with house chores and didn’t want to chop wood.”

• While Nesta may have voiced her frustration, it’s explicitly stated in A Court of Thorns and Roses that she did, in fact, chop wood on more than one occasion. Her complaints stemmed from her upbringing in luxury, which made such tasks foreign to her, but she ultimately took on the work when necessary.

• Nesta expressed a willingness to hunt to contribute to the family. This demonstrates that Nesta wasn’t wholly unwilling to help but lacked the capability and was overshadowed by Feyre’s expertise in survival tasks.

• Nesta was willing to sacrifice her own happiness and future to ease Feyre’s burden of providing for the family. She accepted an offer of marriage from Tomas Mandray, not out of love but as a practical solution to their dire circumstances. By marrying Tomas, she intended to remove herself as a financial strain, ensuring Feyre had one less mouth to feed.

“Nesta was entitled and spoiled.”

• Nesta’s “entitlement” stems from how she was raised—she was conditioned to expect a certain life. However, labeling her as merely spoiled ignores her complex character. Nesta showed glimpses of care, such as her attempts to protect Elain from harsh realities and her desire to avenge Feyre when she went to Prythian.

• Post-transformation, Nesta’s behavior (anger, isolation, and lashing out) stems from her trauma rather than entitlement. It’s not a justification but an explanation that deserves compassion.

“Nesta stole money from Feyre to buy clothing.”

• While Elain casually expressed a desire for a new cloak, Nesta identified a genuine need for new boots, as hers were falling apart. This is supported by the scene in A Court of Silver Flames where it’s mentioned that her boots were in poor condition, highlighting her practical decision to replace something essential for her survival rather than indulging in luxury.

• Feyre provided for her family willingly, including essentials like clothing and food. Nesta’s request for boots was not theft but a necessity, given their shared hardship and Feyre’s role as the primary provider. At no point does Nesta take money without Feyre’s knowledge or consent in ACOTAR.

“In real life, Nesta stans wouldn’t want to meet someone like her.”

• This point oversimplifies why people relate to or admire Nesta. Many see her as a flawed, multi-dimensional character who mirrors real struggles with trauma, guilt, and self-worth. While no one is excusing her mistakes, her journey of redemption and growth resonates deeply with those who have experienced similar challenges.

“Justifying Nesta is equivalent to justifying being mean.”

• No one is excusing Nesta’s past behavior or denying that she was mean at times. However, her actions are understood through the lens of her trauma, mental health struggles, and personal growth. Feyre herself forgives Nesta and acknowledges the complexity of her pain.

• To say that acknowledging Nesta’s redemption equates to condoning meanness is reductive and dismisses the importance of character growth, which is central to Nesta’s arc in ACOSF.

Final Thoughts:

• Nesta’s flaws are undeniable, but they make her relatable and human. Instead of painting her as purely “bad,” her story demonstrates that even deeply flawed people can grow, heal, and become better. To dismiss her as merely a narcissistic villain undermines the nuance of her character and her journey.

[helloarchivist]

listen what i'm saying is, I know the perv trope thing with Sanji is annoying and overplayed. i know it is. i know that some of it is Oda's humor and some of it is like. shit that anime always seems to find one character to shunt onto, and I don't like it and nobody likes it but like

pretending that's the only character trait that he has, or refusing to connect the dots through what appears to both be some vestige of the Vinsmoke programming (since ALL of his brothers have the exact same kind of nosebleed awooga behavior despite their lack of other meaningful human emotions), and a strict adherence to anything Zeff taught him (bc children do not process trauma and traumatic events the way adults do, and at that point Zeff was not only his first and ONLY example of paternal love, but the only hand capable of reaching in and stopping the knife he'd been twisting in his own guts), isn't just stupid, it's a deeply shallow and backwards take of an incredibly complex character.

yes, Sanji is flawed. they're all flawed. that's half the point of the story, that people are more than the sum of their parts, or the circumstances of their birth, or their pain.

Sanji's journey in this story so far is one of broken shackles, of healing, of finding comfort in himself and trust in his found family despite how deep the roots of self-loathing and fear run in him. in that way, of course he took Zeff's perspective to heart. Zeff who cut a piece of himself off and chose Sanji's life over his own well-being again and again, when Sanji's birth father abandoned him to torment and death. Zeff, who thought he was wonderful, and kind, and intelligent, and nurtured his potential, and taught him how to make sure nobody could ever hurt him again, when his birth father discarded him as damaged goods. Zeff, who is proud, in his own way, to know what his son is up to, and for people to know that's his boy, when his birth father's only direct words to him were to make sure to never bring him the shame of letting anyone know they were related.

(and that's the wild part, one of the things that really breaks me about Sanji sometimes, is that he kept that promise, too. If WCI hadn't happened he might never have told anyone at all.)

Zeff saved Sanji in every way a hurt little boy could possibly be saved, and so when he said "You never hit a woman, that's wisdom from when the dinosaurs walked the earth." and "Beat any man's ass you want, but if I ever catch you raising a hand to a woman I'll cut your dick off and then myself too for teaching you that." like???

He's not being a misogynist, he doesn't refuse to fight women because he thinks they're weak and frail and the fairer sex that needs to be protected at all costs by big strong men, he respects Nami and Robin and Vivi and refuses to give up on his friends and even forgives Viola despite her almost killing him and agrees to help her, like?? he internalized everything Zeff ever told him, not just how to make risotto really well or how to pair wine to cheeses and desserts.

does Oda sometimes play that up for laughs, or run it to extremes? yeah, absolutely. I actively like to pretend Fishman Island was 10 episodes of political backstory and Jinbei. But those moments of hyperbole aren't the fucking point of his character, or his development, and to pretend like they are removes Sanji--and an incredibly poignant story about abuse, recovery, self-love, and the acceptance and importance of found family--from the story.

[unwelcome-ozian]

10 symptoms of religious trauma

The effects of religious trauma can be life-altering and long-lasting. Common signs and symptoms include:

Self-hatred Some religious movements rest on the idea that some people are inherently evil, untrustworthy, or unworthy of love. Others elevate certain identities over others, leading to marginalization, discrimination, and oppression. This may result in low self-esteem, depression, self-harm, or suicidal ideation.

Shame Shame occurs when you equate a negative action with who you are as a person. Many unhealthy religious communities use shame as a way to influence and control others. Instead of learning to accept responsibility for their mistakes and extending forgiveness to themselves and others, people in shame-based religions often learn to cover up or deny anything that could be considered wrong by their community.

Perfectionism Some religious communities may identify certain actions or behaviors as indicative of a person’s moral value, and they may promote certain careers or types of families as spiritually superior. This can result in perfectionism, which is often accompanied by high levels of anxiety and stress, as well as the setting of unrealistic goals.

Hypervigilance Some religions paint a picture of a vindictive god who punishes people whenever they fall short. Others promote apocalyptic ideas and suggest that a violent end to the world is nigh. These ideas may lead to heightened levels of anxiety resulting in hypervigilance: a constant state of anxiety meant to protect a person from perceived or actual threats of harm.

Difficulty with making decisions Many who experience religious trauma are accustomed to making decisions in the context of a certain doctrine and/or hierarchy. If they choose to change their relationship with these institutions or leave them entirely, they may struggle with autonomy and making their own decisions.

Loss of community For many, religion provides community. If a person changes or leaves their faith, they may lose contact with many friends, family members, and acquaintances. 

Some people who leave their religious community may experience a season of loneliness and isolation. It can be intimidating to rebuild a community, especially if people outside their faith were often labeled evil or inferior.

Lack of boundaries Being part of a religious community often means accepting some amount of feedback regarding how you live your life. Many faith communities also have expectations for volunteering and service. 

These can be considered healthy aspects of religion, as long as boundaries are clear and respected. When boundaries are blurred or nonexistent, a person may struggle to find their identity without input from others. They may also have a hard time saying no to certain tasks or prioritizing self-care.

Delayed social milestones Purity culture is a religious concept that focuses on ideas about gender, sexuality, sex, virginity, marriage, and procreation. Religions that rely heavily on purity culture may scrutinize or monitor children’s social interactions and segregate kids based on their assigned sex. In these contexts, LGBTQIA+ people in particular may not have the chance to experience social milestones, such as first dates or kisses, until adulthood. This delay can be frustrating, and some people who had overly restricted lives as teenagers may make impulsive or reckless decisions as adults once they leave their religious communities.

Sexual dysfunction Religions that overemphasize purity culture may not prepare their followers for healthy sex lives, even in the context of marriage. 

Many people who struggle with religious trauma practice abstinence until marriage and may feel dirty or guilty when engaging in sex. People from religious backgrounds that preach traditional gender roles may struggle to confront realities about desire, drive, and performance that don’t align with what they learned. Some religions teach about sex in a way that centers obligation instead of consent, resulting in unhealthy, harmful, or even criminal sexual behaviors.

Mental health disorders Religious trauma can cause, contribute to, or otherwise worsen mental health disorders. Commonly associated mental illnesses include:

Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) Depression Anxiety Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) Eating disorders Addiction

[maxdibert]

Sirius is such an interesting character. Such a shame that I completely abhor his personality. His mysterious and magnetic aura attracts me but his personality always makes me cringe away from liking him. But out of all the Blacks him and Andromeda (not her personality just her story) are the most compelling. Narcissa is kind of boring to me, Regulus is sort of there and Bellatrix is a dilemma. In the books she is just this nasty character but overall she has lots of potential to uncover so that leaves me undecided whether I like her or not lol. The potential is there but Rowling failed at giving her more depth so we are left with shit.

Right? And for me, one of Rowling's biggest mistakes with Sirius was putting so much effort into whitewashing him and downplaying his awful personality, instead of giving him the depth he deserved. Sirius chose the right path, but he was a very dark guy with a lot of ghosts, and clearly had inherited terrible traits due to the upbringing he had in his family. He's a chaotic good by the book, who tends to do what's right, but in ways that can cause real damage, and that's pretty interesting about his character. I think if Rowling had spent less time portraying him as the great father figure for Harry and someone we should forgive all his sins for being "one of the good guys," and instead had given him a more realistic portrayal, one where the guy has good qualities and genuinely loves the protagonist and would do anything for him but his moral compass is highly questionable, then I could have accepted his past personality without it being so problematic. Even if he didn’t regret being a jerk, if the narrative confirmed that he was a jerk, then I could reconcile with him. But the narrative constantly excuses him, and that’s something I can’t forgive. For me, the most tragic part of Sirius' character is that I see him as the flip side of Severus: the guy who comes from a rich, aristocratic background and tries to do the right thing but messes it up vs the guy who comes from a poor, resource-lacking background and ends up on the wrong path but eventually reforms. They have a lot of similarities: both were obsessed with their best friends, both project James onto Harry (each in their own way), both hated one of their parents fiercely, both hated their childhood homes but in the end, they end up trapped in them (Severus always returns to Spinner's End, Sirius could have chosen any room in the Black house to sleep in but chose his hated mother's bedroom), and both are dysfunctional adults who’ve stagnated cognitively in their teenage years due to trauma. They're two sides of the same coin, and it would have been really interesting to explore that aspect of Sirius instead of turning him into a useless and pathetic character. Because yes, Sirius is pathetic, let’s not fool ourselves, but in the books, he’s not pathetic for the right reasons.

And of course, Bellatrix had a lot of potential beyond being a fanatic follower of Voldemort, but Rowling doesn’t like dysfunctional women, in fact, she hates them, so she only portrays them as pure evil without much depth, because apparently, she can’t accept that women are more than just self-sacrificing mothers and pick-me girl cheerleaders for the heroes. Such a shame.

[traumacatholic]

Please pray for me,I grew up in a religious cult and now I struggle with my faith and identity,

Thanks.

Of course, and I'm so sorry that you grew up in such an environment. If you feel comfortable, I would bring this up with a Priest at your Church (if you have one) that you feel comfortable with talking about these issues with. Or have a look to see what Church in your area makes you feel safe and reach out to them. While there are faith based therapists that can offer support and guidance in ways that acknowledge you wanting a relationship with God, these can sometimes be inaccessible. A Priest, while no replacement for a therapist, often has experience of people from similar backgrounds who have things that they need to work through and impact their connection to their faith.

Secular therapists and support services are also a possibility - some mental health charities will provide free or low cost counselling sessions or group therapy. Definitely don't be put off by the fact that they're not from a religious background. A good therapist will be wiling to work to understand you and your goals.

Here is a prayer that you can pray for yourself:

Dear Lord Jesus, please come and heal my wounded and troubled heart. I beg you to heal the torments that are causing anxiety in my life. I beg you, in a particular way, to heal the underlying source of my fear and doubt. I beg you to come into my life and heal the psychological harms that struck me in my childhood and from the injuries they have caused throughout my life.  Lord Jesus, you know my burdens. I lay them on your Good Shepherd’s heart. I beseech you—by the merits of the great open wound in your own heart—to heal the wounds that are in mine. Heal my memories, so that nothing that has happened to me will cause me to remain in pain and anguish, filled with anxiety, fear or guilt. Heal, O Lord, all those wounds that have been the cause of evil that is rooted in my life. I want to forgive all those who have offended me. Look to those inner wounds that make me unable to forgive. You who came to forgive the afflicted of heart, heal my wounded and troubled heart.  Heal, O Lord Jesus, all those intimate wounds that are the root cause of my physical and emotional pain. I offer you my heart. Accept it, Lord, purify it, and give me the sentiments of your Divine Heart. Grant me to regain peace and joy in the knowledge that you are the Resurrection and the Life. Make me an authentic witness to your resurrection, your victory over sin and death, and your loving presence among all men.    Amen.

And here is prayer for victims of abuse and trauma as a whole:

Praise to you, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,  source of all consolation and hope.  By your Son's dying and rising He remains our light in every darkness, our strength in every weakness. Be the refuge and guardian of all who suffer from abuse and violence. Comfort them and send healing for their wounds of body, soul and spirit. Rescue them from bitterness and shame and refresh them with your love. Heal the brokenness in all victims of abuse and revive the spirits of all who lament this sin. Help us to follow Jesus in drawing good from evil, life from death. Make us one with you in your love for justice as we deepen our respect for the dignity of every human life. Giver of peace, make us one in celebrating your praise,  both now and for ever.  Amen.

You may also find this collection of prayers to be helpful. As well as this Litany of Trust

[tragedy-for-sale]

Favorite Liar pt. I

I have yet to see people talk about the physical pain Obi-Wan must have been in during the Hardeen arc. I mean, this man was constantly getting beat up and had dozens of untreated injuries. Not to mention, we saw how much pain he was in during the facial transformation, what about the pain turning back?

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

Obi-Wan found it humerous Master Windu and Master Yoda had failed to mention how much this would hurt. But Obi-Wan knew if they kept adding on to the already long list of things that made Obi-Wan want to back out, that he would have. He was already lying far beyond he'd ever wanted to, he'd already hurt all those he loved and he didn't dare ask for forgiveness because had their places been shifted, Obi-Wan would have a hard time accepting an apology all the same. But this, this was just cruel. Returning to Obi-Wan Kenobi was a lot harder than becoming Rako Hardeen.

He would be lying if Obi-Wan had said he hadn't been avoiding Anakin and Ahsoka. He felt their betrayal all throughout the temple, from star systems away he could sense their pain. Pain that he caused. Obi-Wan couldn't stand that truth, he'd hurt them and there wasn't anything he could do to make it alright. His need to help others had only hurt the people he cared the most about. So there Obi-Wan sat, alone in the medical wing of the temple, hidden far from others, where he could hide and no one would see the shame on his face.

He looked out the window, that was all he could do. Upon his initial scan, the droid pointed out his several cracked ribs and the transformation back had left his face swollen and bruised, and the voice changer had left his throat feeling as if he'd swallowed blades. So Obi-Wan laid there, holding himself tightly as he fought the pain that came with each breath, as he prepared himself to swallow and whince at the pain. But he didn't have enough energy to whince, he didn't have enough energy for anything at all.

When hours passed, he woke up and shot up as he grabbed the container on the bedside table. He'd been terribly nauseous and he had yet to be able to keep anything down. Obi-Wan fell back onto the pillows, staring at the wall, he'd asked for privacy and he'd gotten it. Mace nor Yoda had come by since. Plo had left flowers, a rather odd gesture Obi-Wan thought, but appreciated it all the same.

Sitting up, he held his hand closely to his chest, moving slowly to ease his pain. Obi-Wan closed his eyes and took a deep breath, he could make it to the chair, Obi-Wan knew he could, it wasn't as if he'd gone through a major trauma, he was fine. He was just in a lot of pain. Nothing to worry about. Swinging his legs over the bed, he braced himself and with another deep breath, Obi-Wan stood up. He was leaning against the bed but he felt he could do this. He could make it to the chair. His left arm was still pressed against his aching chest, but he could make it. Step after step, he could make it- he really almost did.

Obi-Wan took too confident of a step, he felt blades against his lungs and he fell. Obi-Wan whimpered as he opened his eyes. His entire body shaking. He felt a wave of frustration wash over him, he slammed his fist down. "Dammit-" He whinced, eyes flooding with tears as he let out a sob. Obi-Wan shook his head, he shouldn't have done this, he didn't want to be fighting with Anakin, he didn't want Ahsoka to be mad at him, he didn't want his friends avoiding him like the plague. He wanted to be chasing after Ahsoka, finding Anakin in hide-and-seek, he wanted his family close, not held at arms length. He wanted Cody. Most of all, he couldn't stand Cody hating him. He loved him too much.

He'd been so angry with him, and Obi-Wan just stood there, wanting to tell Cody that he loved him, but Obi-Wan would open his mouth to say it but nothing would come out. He had tried to grab Cody's hand and Obi-Wan was still haunted by Cody yanking his hand back. He wasn't strong enough for this. He tried so hard to be okay with losing everyone he loved, he tried so hard not to be swept away by the undercurrent of remorse, but he'd failed so miserably. He cried for Cody, for hours, Cody's anger echoed in his mind, Cody fighting him until his tears caused his anger to resign. Obi-Wan had done his duty as a Jedi, but he'd lost everything, now all he had was himself, and he wouldn't choose to spend the rest of his life with himself. He wasn't someone Obi-Wan liked.

Obi-Wan fell onto his back, gasping for air. He shouldn't have tried to be brave. He should have just stayed in the bed. He shouldn't have tried to be a Jedi, he should've been selfish and let another take upon this task. He couldn't handle all the people he loved being angry at him, he couldn't handle being alone. Obi-Wan closed his eyes, he could feel his entire body shake, he was so cold. But he couldn't get up, he couldn't move his hand, he couldn't even think to use the force. All he could do was lay there and think, think of all he'd done,

Think of all he'd ruined.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

Part two here