#The straw that broke the camel’s back [RANT]

[cryoverkiltmilk]

I hate Reels.

I hate TikTok.

I hate Shorts.

I hate the amputation of visuals for some perceived notion of a better more marketable perspective.

Stop butchering video.

[cafeleningrad]

As much as I love the medium, I mean heck I'm writing page long Utena metas, sometimes the most hyped titles remind me why I'm also not this deeply involved. So apparently Oshi no Ko is good but a movie length set up where the protagonist's background and motivation is so mindbogglingly wild and unbelievable, clashing so hard with a story trying to be cutthroat honest about the entertainment industry. And no one in the movie length set-up acted like their age, or like any kind of realistic human being for that matter... Also made the mistake to google who Ai's baby father is and um... this character just sounds so stupid and over the top I can't believe that this story thinks it's going to tell me anything resembling a human experience.

EDIT: What even bugs me more about the set up is Ai getting murdered for the protagonist to be motivated to become an actor. Like... he could've had thousands of personal reasons to become an actor. If I would need to drink the reincarnation-coolaid, first reason being not wanting to go through the hell that is medical studies again. Or maybe he always wanted to work in show-biz but alas was born at the deepest country side. Also absolute anime mother bingo for her getting fridged for protag motivation, she dies in devotion to be a mother, and dies gracefully, and is emotionally articulate.

No but for real why does this show want me want to believe that it wants to talk about some dark "realities" of show-biz when no one of the characters behaves like any sort of a human being?! Gosh, sometimes I hate this industry and the no cricicism allowed fandom financing it.

(I mean some folks find a liking in characters from Kimetsu no Yaiba but sometimes hyped titles really are beyond my comprehension.)

[demi-queen]

TW: discussion of threats of sexual assault/rape, rape, and physical assault

Rant time! So I just got finished reading a fanfic where the MC got threatened with sexual assault, and when they refused to be raped, got beaten up (due to Reasons, no rape actually occurred). Now, when the Love Interest learns about this, they end up kissing (which then transitions into making out) the MC in an effort to comfort them, and for some reason, it works. The MC calms down and wow! It turns out both the MC and the Love Interest have liked each other for a while and this is the perfect moment to discover this! My guys, in what world would this 1. Be an acceptable response to learning your crush almost got sexually assaulted and 2. End in anything other than (at best) the Love Interest getting slapped/pushed away or (at worst) the MC silently letting it happen while someone they trusted reaffirms that their comfort and happiness is not the priority? And this isn’t even the first fanfic I’ve read where this or something similar happens. In fact, this isn’t even the first piece of media I’ve ever seen that has similar themes or messages? It happens in fanfics, YA novels, James Bond movies (according to my mom, who expressed a similar grievance when she told me about the only James Bond movie she’s ever seen), and probably almost all romance adjacent types of media (not that every piece of romance media has this in every single thing, but if a type of media has a romance genre, then some of those probably have this in it). Why? Seriously, why does this happen so frequently? (Idk how frequently it actually happens, I could be experiencing some Confirmation Bias, but the fact that it happens at all is gross). Has anyone else experienced this same frustration? Idk it just made me mad and I had to get it out of my system

[nando161mando]

The straw that broke the camel’s back [RANT]

[sadlittleratboy]

Today I proved to my boss that when I say "If you tell me to shut up and do what you want me to, I am going to do that whether I like it or not, and I can stay mad Bout it the whole time if I want. That's my problem." I fucking mean it. I'm just not going to immediately agree with something when I have a grievance.

We were having a slightly heated but very professional (I'm so proud of myself that even though I was upset I was still able to clarify that I would do as she told me to I just needed her to understand where I was coming from) disagreement, and she cut me off to say "let's stop arguing about this". Which, while phrased like an offer, is not.

I immediately shut up mid-sentence, sucked all of my frustration in, and asked for clarification. I wanted to know if her final decision was just that she didn't want me to do it, but that I was allowed to make my own decision, or if she was telling me what I was going to do and I just needed to say yes ma'am. Unfortunately it was that one.

So, I said okay, told her I would make the necessary changes over the weekend, and she was so pleased by that she literally flipped from angry to pleasant. She sounded almost happy, actually. So, while that super fucking sucks for me, at the very least I won serious brownie points with my supervisor. I also very intelligently asked myself the question of whether or not I was willing to make an enemy out of my supervisor who has openly admitted to and very clearly holds grudges, and is beloved by the company, having been around for years, and whose opinion could make or break whether or not I move up in the company enough to go above her head (something she will take as an attack) about something that will make me very uncomfortable at first, but in a couple of months I will probably be acclimated to enough that it rarely bothers me.

The answer to that question is fuck no.

I'm finally learning to not be Myself about everything lol. When I was in high school I read this old Chinese poem that has been translated, written by a woman about choosing your battles, and about how she chose them all. The only part I remember is the end, "I make my warhorse sweat". (Not important, but I actually put it together with other poems to read for an assignment in my AP literature class, and my teacher, who is also my debate coach, liked it so much she had me run it in competition.) I have been like that my whole life, and I'm so proud of myself that I was professional, and despite the fact that my voice quivered a little at the end, because I was about to angry cry, I kept it together until I could walk away and go back to my office to seethe for the last 10 minutes of my shift.

Anyway, I'm very blunt and I say exactly what I'm thinking to the point where it shocks people, I'm stubborn, and I don't tend to have a problem making it known that I disagree with something even to the point of bringing my grievances forward and arguing my case. I have always been unapologetically myself, and I am very Myself about things, and this works in my favor, because nobody I work with realizes how inauthentic I am capable of being. My supervisor is probably never going to think about this altercation again, but I am never going to forget. I hold a fucking grudge in a way that seems diagnosable. I will fucking remember this shit, as I remember every other slight against me, and it will contextualize every interaction we have moving forward.

Unfortunately office politics is a game and I don't think they realize I'm playing, but like... This is a "they are playing checkers I am playing chess" level of distrust and scrutiny that I bring to every professional relationship. I don't see anything wrong with playing your cards close to your chest and being ever so slightly manipulative when it comes to corporate work environments. I have ADHD, so sometimes I say things without thinking that get me in trouble, and I have a hard time shutting the fuck up. Pair that with the way that I don't always catch things, and people think I'm oblivious to this sort of thing.

It's a fucking superpower, because nobody is going to suspect the dipshit that can't keep their goddamn mouth shut to save their life. It's the same way that I always find the fuck up that I'm okay with admitting to, and immediately throw it out there. I have lied to supervisors faces about what happened, because I immediately admitted to doing something else wrong that would explain what happened but would get me in less trouble. Usually it's just about my reasoning for things, because people don't always understand how ADHD affects you, so I come up with a problem they'll like more that I can "solve".

And everywhere I work I have had supervisors say "Rat will be the first person to tell you that they messed up" or "Rat's going to be honest whether it's good for them or not" and like...no I won't, but I grew up in an abusive household and I learned how to stay out of trouble and manipulate people. It sounds terrible, but I don't do that in my personal life, because I don't have to. If I have a problem with somebody I'm going to tell them, and if I have enough of a problem with them we just won't talk anymore. In my personal life people don't have control over whether I succeed or not. I feel like it is at least understandable to be a little fucked up about trust issues when it comes to work, especially a cutthroat corporate environment.

[barbaracleboy]

Bluh...Y'know what? Three strikes, I think I'm done with Tumblr Tournaments. First I joined one (submitting a Character and paying attention to what was going on) and I thought it would be enjoyable, but then there was some bullshit right at the beginning that soured the whole thing for me.

Then there was one that I didn't even choose to join for fear of drama, and while there was next-to-no drama (to my knowledge) there was a Character I disliked getting shoved down my throat often. And then said Character I disliked won so :/

And now I tried again at having fun with one, and due to bad luck and I suppose bad choices on my part all but one of the Characters I submitted were dropped in the Qualifying Polls, and the one that did make it was put into what I genuinely believe was the most unfair position it could possibly have been in. Seriously, I'm not sure how the luck could have been worse there. And I know it was luck, I won't get mad at anyone over it (especially because the tournament host is a nice person), but damn, my fucking luck fucking sucks. And with how the actual polls are set up I feel little-to-no-reason to actual care about the polls, not just because I don't care about most of the Characters taking part but because most of the most popular Characters are on the right side, and based off the kinds of people submitting to the tournament I know at least one of those Characters are gonna have obnoxious campaigns led by assholes that're proud of being assholes pulling randos from wherever they can to add to votes. That's all assuming that one of the Characters involved doesn't win another tournament, with the same theme to boot.

I'm just so tired. I'm not even getting into how there's apparently been other kinds of drama with other tournaments that I haven't really kept up with, but even ignoring drama I'm just so sick of the tournaments in general. It feels like every other day there are two or three more tournaments and they keep making more and more arbitrary categories like "Best Blue-Haired Character!", "Best Character with a Stutter!", "Best Little Brother!" And, I mean, people are allowed to do what they want but I'm also allowed do dislike what I want and I just don't get how people can get invested in one Tournament, let alone the half a dozen I see when I'm just browsing peoples' blogs.

Tournaments just suck, honestly. At best it's praying that a Character you like has a big enough fanbase and/or isn't put up against someone from one of the most fucking popular indie games in the world. At worst you're dealing with people that are extremely annoying about the Character they like because that shit seems to be encouraged in this situation. The most annoying person I know keeps getting wins with their Characters so whatever.

I'm just gonna mute any Tournament Tags I see from here on out and just try to ignore that side. It'll suck ass when people don't actually make unique tags for their Tournament posts (I know of at least one like that right now) but it's the best I can think of.

...I'm gonna bury this. I was already pretty frustrated lately so that may or may not be making me more upset about this shit than I otherwise would be but whatever.

[minniesmutt]

☾ ━━━━━━ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭

☾ ━━━ PAIRING: LEE KNOW X READER ☾ ━━━ CONTENT: READER IS STRESSTED AND BREAKS DOWN CRYING, COCKWARMINGM SUB!READER, SOFT DOM!MINHO, CRYING, NOTHING REALLY SPICY, SUB DROP, MENTION HANDJOB AND FINGERING ☾ ━━━ WC: 0.6K ☾ ━━━ repost from old blog ☾ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog

     Minho hated seeing Y/n upset. Y/n hated how perceptive he was to her feelings. Even when she tried to hide her stress. Minho knew though. He always did, even when he was busy with his own life. 

     He knew all the signs of her stress building and building. He never made her tell him, just did little things to help her out and lessen the stress she had on her. 

     Minho made sure he got off and home before her tonight. He’d sensed she was about to hit a breaking point all week. He picked up some things from the store on his way home to cook her favorite. Knowing she was probably worrying about it while working. 

     He started cooking right as he got home, their playlist playing through the apartment. He kept an eye on his phone in case she texted him. Nothing came until the front door unlocked as he was finishing up. 

     “Min?” Y/n questioned as she slipped her shoes off, hanging up her bag and keys

     “Kitchen,” Minho called back. 

     Y/n joined him in the kitchen as he made a plate for her. 

     “Hey kitten,” he greeted her and gave her a peck on the lips.

     “You made dinner?” Y/n noticed 

     “Yeah. Got off early so I figured why not and that you probably didn't wanna cook tonight.” he wasn’t telling her he planned his whole day around making dinner for her. 

     But either way, the gesture had her tearing up. Minho noticed and pulled her in for a hug— the straw that broke the camel’s back. Y/n held onto his shirt as her tears started flowing. Minho did nothing but comfort her, rubbing her back, kissing her head, etc. 

     “I’ve got you kitten,” Minho helped guide her over to their couch. He sat down and pulled her onto his lap. Just letting her cry it out into his chest for a while. 

     When the whines turned to hiccups he called out to her. “Look at me kitten.”

     Y/n peered up at him. Eyes all puffy from crying. His heart hurt for her. He hated seeing her upset. 

     “Do you wanna eat?” he offered

     “‘M not hungry.” Y/n wiped her eyes

     “What do you want kitten?” His hands held her thighs and rubbed circles into the fabric of her bottoms that covered her skin. 

     “Can I… cuddle with your dick in me?” Y/n hiccuped

     “Of course baby.”

     Mingo didn't dare make her do any of the work. He pulled her bottoms off and wet his fingers. He worked her open just enough for it not to be uncomfortable when he slid in, while he pulled his cock out of his sweats and pumped himself till he was hard. 

     Y/n laid her head against his chest. Minho knew she was on the verge of dropping. He saw it in her eyes. Once he was sure they were both ready enough, he slowly sank her onto him. Y/n wrapped her arms around his neck as her walls parted for him.

     Minho rested his hands on her ass as he bottomed out in her. 

     “Thank you,” Y/n mumbled

     “Of course kitten. Wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

     And so she did. There wasn’t a reason not to. Minho was her safe space after all. his warm hands rubbing her skin as she ranted about everything that had been going wrong. Tears started up in certain parts of her babbling, and Minho made sure to wipe the tears away. Reassuring her everything was gonna be better and that he was with her to handle stress with her

☾ ━━━━━━ M.LIST    TIP JAR

☾ ━━━ please support writers by reblogging and/or leaving feedback

© 2024 MINNIESMUTT. DO NOT COPY, REPUBLISH OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE

[theycalledhimastar]

if you are comfortable with writing Nikolai :

Can you write something similar like Neithboir price but with Nikolai?

Maybe reader being IT assisnat for 141 and having their car broken ? Or reader being new 141 Solider and needing help with something in their office?

Also bonus points if reader will be masc 👉👈

>w< anon~

Aaaaack! Absolutely! I have no clue why I didn't get a notification for this, tumblr is stinky like that! Let's get some Nikolai love up in here >:3

Nikolai x M!reader (Fluff!)

(Likely inaccurate but whatever, we ball you guys)

☄. *.

Your day had already been a total shitshow, from the moment your alarm failed to wake you up. Tumbling out of bed, you already had a creeping feeling that today was going to be... a long one. Your boots just didn't feel quite right, your sleep posture probably wasn't right so now your neck was sore and stiff, and your mood was positively foul.

Morning Training wasn't any better, truth be told. You felt like a rookie all over again, practically embarrassing yourself with your clumsy performance. The fresh bruises attested to the morning's lousy work as you trudged to the showers. Where, of course the water was cold, you couldn't complain, but you wanted to.

The shitty breakfast felt worse than normal, the coffee more bitter and gritty than it was supposed to be. The coffee grinds trapped in your teeth making you cringe all through your afternoon routine. Why couldn't you catch a break? Nobody else seemed to notice what was so horrible, that only added to it all, really.

The straw that broke the camel's back, was when your computer simply refused to cooperate in the middle of your paperwork. Of course, because why the hell not? You buried your face in your hands, wanting to scream and throw the stupid device. Unfortunately, you couldn't do that, you needed it for other work matters. So you were forced to ask around to see if anyone could help you with the slow, laggy, uncooperative piece of shit.

Naturally, nobody really knew what exactly to do, offering a choir of "try turning it on and off again". That, or they just didn't care and opted to shrug off your issues. You were ready to give up, practically banging your head against the wall when a gentle hand on your shoulder interrupted your meltdown. You had seen Nikolai around base a few times, chatted a little bit here and there and you liked him well enough...

A normal amount...

Totally...

"What's wrong sergeant?"

That alone was enough to make you start ranting about the horrible day you were having. Your alarm, training, breakfast, the showers, your computer, everything that had plagued you all thrown onto the older man. Nik just took it like a champ, nodding and agreeing every couple of sentences while gently ushering you back to your office so that he could fix your "stupid computer".

"I cannot help with the coffee, that stuff is always horrible. But I know a thing or two about computers if you would like some assistance."

You stand to the side, watching Nik type over your computer. You try not to let your gaze linger too long on his dexterous fingers as they swiftly move over the keyboard. Now is definitely not the time to make things awkward, but you can't help yourself. The fatherly figure has always been your type, and that accent has become your weakness the more time you have spent around him. You knew it was futile, he probably barely noticed you. You were new to the force and barely spoke to him for fear of embarrassing yourself horrendously. But still, one could daydream.

Meanwhile, Nik was more than aware of your not-so-subtle staring. He tried to attribute it to you trying to watch what he did to try it yourself next time. But when he realized you were staring at his hands and not the screen, he knew that wasn't it. While he was flattered by a young, fresh sergeant like yourself taking such interest in himself, he wasn't going to entertain the thought himself. Problems came about when you thought too long about that kind of thing.

"Alright, that should do it I think. These things are touchy sometimes. You just have to have that magic touch I guess."

He held up his hands with a grin, turning to stand up fully from his hunched over position. The way you stared at his raised hands sending a pang of pride straight to his chest. Maybe he could entertain it a little bit...

You stumbled over yourself to thank him, offering a favor of some kind, but he just brushed it aside. Ever the generous one, he wasn't going to expect anything for some simple computer fix. You silently wished that he would have accepted, you would've had an excuse to talk to him again later on. Alas, you would simply have to gather up the courage for another time. Although, when he patted you firmly on the back to leave and get to his own work, you very quickly decided that the day wasn't so bad after all...

[koopageneral]

INANIMATE INSANITY SEASON 2 EPISODE 15 SPOILERS. PLEAASE GO WATCH IT

Omgaaa I need to EXPLODE cuz of Taco’s Tirade. Gonna go on a rant analysing it prty much line-by-line so STRAP IN!! (Shout out to everyone who worked on this masterpiece omfg)

It starts off with what might be considered ‘normal’ Taco. Her making fun of the contestants. There is a little bit of hinting at her sympathy towards the contestants, although it’s incredibly shrouded in her mastermind facade. Calling them ‘pathetic’ and comparing them to blindly obedient dogs with ‘how they run to fetch their sticks.’

We get a little bit more with ‘Sure, call me polemic, unsympathetic.’ It shows how shes aware that she’s a problem, although at this point in the song it’s unclear to the audience whether she’s saying it in a way of ‘yeah call me it cuz it’s true, I don’t care.’ Or if it’s ‘call me these things, yeah, but I’m more than that.’

‘Look at me and all you see is the debris of some defective outcast.’ Feels like it’s getting into the meat of the song, and the episode as a whole, of how Taco has realized how she’s pushed everyone away for the sake of the game. The fact she has her arms tucked away during it gives another interesting interpretation, of it actually talking about before her big reveal, and how she was treated differently because she was, in her words, ‘defective.’

‘A frenetic, antithetic (if poetic) iconoclast.’ Frenetic means wild and energetic, probably, again, referring to her season 1 persona. Antithetic means opposite of something, and iconoclast means someone who attacks cherished institutions. This gets into her want to tear this entire show to the ground for the suffering it’s caused everyone.

‘I wont live in the past. I almost won this game once, you know.’ I’m just gonna parrot what @lemonxlimee said cuz they put it pretty succinctly with two words. Taco. Girl.

Then we get to the lines that got me started on this tirade (Pun intended.) ‘History is rearranged just to credit those who win the glory. So reality has changed in the edit when they spin the story.’ AUGH. Her fucking staring down at the hotel made of the money she spent SO HARD and lost SO MUCH to try and get. I. I want to scream about this. I don’t know how to put my thoughts on this line into fucking words.

‘And we choose to feel this pain.’ Going off the last line, Taco, out of almost anyone in the cast, knows how much you have to go through just to get a chance to win, which goes right into the next line.

‘We lose more than we gain.’ She lost Pickle. You might say that she didn’t actually care, but I’m not sure if I believe that. I feel like she might not have at first, and maybe even never when they actually were playing together. But you can’t convince me she doesn’t hate herself for using him on a plan that resulted in nothing. She also lost Mic, and it’s incredibly clear how much that affected her. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and showed her the flaws in this system.

‘I will break this cycle of mistakes unlike all of these snakes whom I call to condemn.’ She is fucking DETERMINED to make everyone see what they’ve sacrificed. She speaks with a level of contempt towards them, yes, but I feel like it’s more her projecting her feelings about the contest onto the contestants.

Then we’ve got MePad being best therapy boy. ‘You are incapable of starting over.’ She wants to be better. But she doesn’t feel worthy.

And then MePad’s slightly naive optimism with ‘I do not know who you lost, but is it not possible to get them back?’ He’s programmed to see the best in everyone. He wants things to work out. He doesn’t see how hard it might be to just make things better after a relationship exclusively built on lies.

This naivete is immediately contrasted by Taco’s all-encompassing pessimism. ‘Clear the slate, start again, do you hear how preposterous that sounds? How do you not comprehend that for someone with my monstrous background, the whole slate has fallen apart.’ To Taco, the bridges between her and Mic or Pickle are nothing but smoldering piles of rubble after all the pain she’s put them through.

This contrast is even more stark with the duet of ‘It’s too late’ and ‘It’s not too late.’ I don’t even know what to say about that, it’s pretty black and white.

For the duet, gonna go one character at a time for simplicity. Starting with Taco.

We see taco’s turmoiled feelings on whether she’s to blame, with ‘It’s not I, it’s they who deigned to play.’ Even after all of this internal conflict and deep personal realizations, there’s still a part of her that wants to cast the blame of the pain she’s caused onto the ones she’s hurt.

Another deflection she throws out is, honestly, probably more fair, if still not great. ‘This game, so cruel and inhumane, base and uncouth.’ This really gets into her main philosophy for the episode. She’s afraid to take responsibility, and pins the blame on the show for pitting everyone against one another. I want to make it clear, her point is incredibly valid. We see during THIS EPISODE how much it turns people against eachother. The challenge is entirely built around making the contestants spill their true feelings about each other, and using that to fuel drama. Suitcase literally has to choose between two people she cares about over who she’s bringing into the finals, pitting Baseball and Knife against eachother. While the show is ‘cruel and inhumane’, I don’t think that should just be a het out of jail free card for Taco. Yes, she did it because she felt there was no other choice to win, but she still did horrible things. She manipulated 2 people into actually believing she cared.

‘They’re too afraid to bear the bed they made, can’t bring themselves to face the awful truth.’ This is pretty much just her saying that the other contestants are too blind to see how much pain they’ve gone through to get to where they are.

NOW. Baby boy therapist, MePad.

‘You’re no menace, Taco, how did they hurt you?’ He agrees with Taco on the grounds of how much pain the contestants go through, but he’s just a little more concerned about the tact needed to show them. He knows that Taco wants to change, but she’s afraid to. He knows how much she wants to apologize to the people she’s hurt. He feels that there has to be something external she’s dealing with to have this level of spite in her, even if there isn’t, and all of her hate is towards herself.

‘Please think this through’ is pretty self explanatory. As I said, he agrees with Taco about her basic ideals, but feels like there are better ways to deal with the issue.

‘Feeling double crossed is part of dealing with the loss, yes, but the healing is a process, that’s the truth.’ He wants to see Taco get better, and he’s trying to get through to her about the fact that her feelings are entirely valid, but she has to, at some point, let go.

I also feel like the sound mixing is very purposeful. Taco’s voice rings through clearly, able to be heard without much difficulty. MePad’s vocals are softer, and a little quieter and harder to make out. Taco is so in her own head about the pain she’s gone through, she refuses to listen to any outside voice.

Then we get to Taco trying her best to cover up her emotions again and put on her mastermind persona with ‘I’m turning up the heat to sauté, I’ve some beef to get grilled. But I guarantee that today all the beans that get spilled won’t be mine.’ I love how this foreshadows the challenge, but doesn’t make it obvious.

We see one last crack in her facade in the penultimate ‘I’m fine.’ Again, the ‘mistake’ in this line feels incredibly purposeful. It’s incredibly pitchy and bad, to an almost ear-splitting level. Taco knows she isn’t actually okay at ALL, and has trouble telling such a blatant lie.

And then the last line, ‘now it’s time’, is her fully donning the mask once again, ready to expose the show for what it is.

ANYWAY. Uh. Thanks for reading all this bs. I fucking love this song so much, and I think Taco’s motivation in this episode is fascinating. Any comments or constructive criticism of my analysis is MORE than appreciated, hope you all have a wonderful day/night/whenever.

[mochinomnoms]

Hugging Jade to say hi and totally not smoosh your titties against him and see his thoughts go mad.

Private Thoughts y/n has such the potential to be a little shit, it's great. I, personally, would be cheeky and grab onto Jade's arm, just to hug it tight and close to my chest. Specifically so I could hear him mentally screech.

I think it would be much funnier tho if that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Instead of screams, rants, or any sort of information you'd come to expect from Jade at this point, his mind's gone completely blank.

It's like one of those wild west movie scenes with the isolated desert, a single tumbleweed rolling by.

You broke him. Fix this, give him a kiss or something, idk.

[azaharinflames]

I just want to get over this. Like why am I still so sad about that how many weeks later? But I am. And I also want to hold out hope but maybe it’s better to quit because the not knowing for sure and just being sad all the time is a lot.

Hi, @phillystrega! Thanks for your ask <3

Listen, I fully get it. Real talk here, I spent a solid week with constant anxiety after 806 - granted, it wasn't just because of 911, it was sort of the straw that broke the camel's back after a lot of shit had happened in the world and my personal life, so.

At the end of the day, 911 was supposed to be our comfort show. And I think, having something like this happen, seeing everything that has happened before, has made it so it stopped being that, and that's bound to hurt.

Your feelings are normal. It was more than a couple we liked breaking up - in context, sure, but also in what meant right after. I said it right after - it truly felt like they responded to the love we tried to send into the world with hate, and they responded to hate from that side of the fandom with love.

It wasn't entirely like that. But at the time it very much felt like that. And it's normal to still be dealing with feelings surrounding that.

Here is my advice (feel free to not take it if it's shit lol):

Focus on life in the fandom if it's fun for you. The BuckTommy fandom truly helped me process my feelings and channel them toward something more positive. Talk to people, be creative, see everyone's art and posts... it truly is healing.

Block anything that threatens your peace of mind. That being accounts, hashtags, or even keywords, so you don't find it in your dash.

Go back to your comfort shows if you have any, or try to find a new one if you feel you need to latch onto a new one. I'm here if you want suggestions. No joke, binge-watching Modern Family made me feel incredibly better.

If you have a hobby, dedicate some time to it. Or try a new one if you want. I had to embroid a tote bag for one of my best friend's birthday and honestly, it truly helped. So much so I want to do some embroidery as Christmas ornaments - we'll see how that works lmao (I sound 60 when I'm mid-twenties, dear God).

All of this will slowly take you out of this mentality, mostly because you will focus on other things. I realized I was focusing too much on how all of this was making me feel - and as much as it's healthy to face our feelings and know where they come from, we don't want to fall into a cycle, or drown in them.

After all of this, with a bit more perspective, maybe it's easier to make the decision of either continue, or move on. You can also stay in the fandom and enjoy it with no expectations, maybe check every once in a while how canon is doing. And if at some point you decide it's worth checking again, you can do it. And if you decide to fully move on, that will also be okay. Overall - protect your peace.

This was very long, but I truly hope it helped you, even if it was a little.

My inbox is always open to rant, vent, or discuss (911 or whatever you want).

Take care <3

[galaxythreads]

hi,

I'm fascinated by ur Loki works, and since I'm currently rereading all my favourites I wanted to ask about your general headcanons for Loki, and your opinions on all the movies and appearances Loki had. Basically, could you please talk about Loki, because i feel like my idea of Loki and your idea of Loki are similar. bye!!

"Do you want to rant at me about your favorite character?" I mean. do you want my first born?

general headcanons:

there's this scene in Loki: Where Mischief Lies where Loki has a throwaway line that talks about how it never matters when Thor hits him even if it gets violent and it rotates around in my head like a microwave all the time. Such an interesting concept that Thor took things too far but Loki never said anything because that's Just What Siblings Do TM

Loki's hair is soft to the touch, not greasy, because I will die mad about loki's hair in ragnarok

loki steals clothing. This is something you can see in all my fics, he's constantly stealing things from everyone.

Loki is ace, never had sex, and isn't interested in changing that. I don't think he's aro, I think he is interested in romantic love to some extent, but I think sex is just mid to him

loki's magic pokes at all five senses. It's something you can see, taste, hear, touch, and smell

loki got "food poisoning" a lot as a kid because his body was made for jotun stuff and like. asgard doesn't have that

Loki has a moral code, and there are lines he won't cross

loki doesn't lie that much, people just gave him the name because he's shifty and it was a rumor that was started by thor that he lies all the time

loki and thor's relationship has only gotten more complicated as they've gotten older and they have the brain chemistry to process things better, look at their childhoods and go, uh, bro, wait a minute

frigga wasn't a very good mom to loki, even though she tried

Loki can cook

loki uses magic less now that he's older, not because he's not good at it, but because he just like. he uses more subtle magic, and he doesn't need to turn his magic into a glowy show when he could just punch you in the face

loki is a man of few words

loki being captured and watching him lose his mind is straw that broke the camel's back for Gamora, who left shortly after he agreed to help thanos

loki wasn't mind controlled per se in the first avengers, the scepter was just affecting his feelings, but not more than anyone else? Loki was just genuinely tortured/coerced into this by thanos and they didn't have to force him to do anything. he was too terrified to say no. scepter was just an added bonus to cement the control

loki absolutely has permanent spinal damage from his time with thanos

I have a bazillion of these i could literally go on for ages.

---

thoughts on movies:

Uh. Okay. um. How do I say this without getting slain? I...do not think, objectively, that any of the Thor movies are good movies. I think they have fantastic concepts, and wonderful characters, and I adore poking at them, but I think one of the reasons that they're so beloved is because of their potential not because of what they are. People love thinking about what could have been and what they wished happened, because there's very little that's actually satisfyingly completed about the films.

Because the Thor movies are not...It. You kind of have to go hunting for outside material for pieces to be connected together and thor 2 has lots of issues that not even thor 1 could have dreamed of, and Thor 1 is just. A disaster, narratively. I think Thor 3 is definetly the most well put together movie, which sucks because it's the one that botched the characters beyond repair. You either have good characters and awful story or fantastic story and terrible characters with no inbetween.

Trying to talk about why I don't think the movies are good - objectively, as movies - has never ended super well for me, but yeah, i just. I don't. I don't think they're very good. I can break it down in more detail if anyone is interested, but there seems to exist two opinions on tumblr: you either think thor 1 - tdw is an untouchable master piece or you don't and there's nothing good to say about them at all.

I have endless praise to give the movies, but that doesn't mean I don't have criticisms, because, good lord, they suck in some places. Loki's character arc is the most baffling mishandle of a character that I have ever witnessed, and yes, I mean this from the get go. Connecting thor 1 - thor 2 takes some mental math.

Thor 1: Interesting set-up for Loki's character, I like how careful they are with setting him up to make sure that his arc was clear and the line between victim and villain was really blurred. They did a good job on making him sympathetic, and revealing an interesting concept with him and Thor, even if I don't think it was executed as well as I wanted.

Avengers 1: adore poking at Loki and Thanos's relationship here. I cannot get enough of it. I like writing with the avengers mostly because of all that didn't happen in the movie that I wished had. There's so many narrative secrets that don't get addressed or glossed over and I just want it picked apart

Thor 2: i enjoy seeing Loki and Thor working together, Loki's deteriorating mental stay in prison is always fascinating, and generally tdw is my favorite movie and portrayal of loki. It's what I usually base all my fics off of is how he acts in this movie. 10/10, will sing praises

thor 3: my loathing for this movie has shriveled considerably since i saw it the first time, but i'd still be hardpressed to say i liked anything they did with loki's character. Loki is self-sabatoging constantly, and his character makes no sense whatsoever. he is the village idiot, and like, i'm not really into that.

Infinity War: Honestly, i'm just gonna say it - i really did like what they did with loki in this movie. Like yeah, I wanted him to help and be an important part of the story, yeah, of course, but I also appreciate from a writing perspective what a powerful move killing him off before the credits was. Loki was the Big Bad of the first avengers and murdering him set the stakes amazingly. It carried Thor's entire arc, and it felt like a shroud that was layered over the movie. I know a lot of people didn't like it, but I appreciated what they did with it, and I like the tragedy.

---

Appearance:

not a single scene in ragnarok with him it it did not make me want to chew off my foot, his character design was awful. I will never understand why everyone was drooling over the black suit, it looked like it was bought from walmart and then the wrinkles smoothed out with a flat iron. His hair is greasy af for no reason, all of his clothing looks cheap and ugly. there's nothing impressive or visually interesting about him. the choice to remove his colors so hela can take them will never not be annoying to me even though hela is my baby child

thor 1 has the best hair, in my opinion, but he also looks stupid as hell in his armor. loki's design, to me, works best when it has long lines and it's flowy and/or soft. visually nice:

and like the reason it's visually nice is because it's soft and doesn't make me notice tom hiddleston's hips. The moment i'm aware of his hips i get irritated as hell about it, because idk man, loki just. he does not look good when you're aware he has hips. tom hiddleston is like fine, somehow? i don't know why it doesn't bother me when he's wearing whatever he wants to - i also just like. do not care - but with loki i'm just like. oh good LORD stop making me aware of your hips.

It's why i can't stand his ragnarok suit but would sing praises over the thor 1 one.

It's something that's just like. confounded me forever, because i don't even know why it bugs me so much, but every time i see his TVA outfit, thor 1 armor, or that stupid ragnarok suit i want to shoot a canon ball into the sun.

Give the man a suit coat or do not put him in a jacket. loki has lots of skills but pulling off a jacket is not one of them.

He needs to look haunted, like, in general. Or like an 18th century tired man. it's integral for his character to me.

things that make galaxy happy:

loki soft hair

loki having suit coat or suit coat equivalent

things that will send her into a ranting, unwanted, nitpicky rage

loki greasy hair

loki dressed in jackets

[randy-inks]

Back from the dead to give you superhero au

Here’s the rant just for you

First off this is a combination of Superman and Batman cuz I watch their new tv shows

That being said;

Lucifer born to the richest family in Aplomb city. Lucifer is the youngest in said family and has two older brothers. One of them being mayor Michael, and Azrael whose whereabouts remains unknown.

Lucifer is born with theses powers, that being:

* flying through the use of his wings

* Pyrokinesis

* super strength

* heals faster than humans do

Lucifer has no idea where he came from or why he has these powers.

His father won’t tell him and honestly he doesn’t care. For years Lucifer has keep his powers a secret enough so that he was able to get with Lilith and have a daughter name Charlie.

Now him and Lilith are divorced and Lilith has taken Charlie with her. And Lucifer doesn’t blame her for it but he’s still sad about it.

Now with not much of a purpose in life Lucifer decides to use his powers again and try to help the city of Aplomb as it’s filled with crime.

Alastor is kinda the Louis Lane of the au ngl

Alastor grew up in the poorer side of Aplomb and with a rough family life. He’s only comfort apart from his mom was the old timely radio.

And that cause him to dream about being a radio show host, problem with that

Radio is slowly dying, being replaced by Tv.

So Alastor gets a job at the daily news, one of the last new stations to still have a radio station, and yet they won’t hire him on the radio show staff as much as he tries.

So the next course of action is to go big or go home. He plans to do that by getting an exclusive interview with the new superhero in town Mallard. Who is known for not taking interviews.

Alastor is determined to the point of putting himself in danger of himself. Like oh I don’t know having the mafia shoot at you. Hey luckily Mallard saved him. There are times when Alastor is able to save himself and even save Mallard from time to time.

One of his biggest pain in the asses is Lucifer Morningstar, the now divorced millionaire that he has to follow for the new papers. Alastor thinks Lucifer is the dumbest, air headed, slow, childish, arrogant, kinda pretty, and clumsy person he has ever met. And constantly getting on his nerves as he tries to find out what’s going on in this crime filled city as he slowly fills in the detective role and calls out on the corruption of this city.

And way too many villains keep kidnapping him!

The Shadow,

That’s the best way to describe this creature……. This thing It’s a shadow with a mind of its own? A stone cold killer, it wants blood and it needs more and more and more. And the thing is about it…… Lucifer can’t even touch it, it’s a shadow. How are you supposed to touch a shadow? How are you supposed to beat a shadow? What do you do if it merges with your own shadow, and you become its puppet? How do you know it’s gone? How do you know your daughter is safe? is she safe?

In the superhero au Charlie gets to spend time with her father after some plot stuff happens

On a superhero mission Lucifer gets gravely injured and can’t escape until he is saved by Charlie in a Halloween costume with her fire abilities.

Lucifer reminds Charlie that she is too young and shouldn’t be here and her mother will yell at him, Charlie reminds him she saved his ass even though she barely uses her abilities.

Lucifer sighs and agrees to train her more before she’s aloud to be a hero.

He’s going to need the help as the government is no longer dealing with Mallard’s ass and Micheal can only hold them off for long.

Micheal and Lucifer were close when they were younger, the two were best friends but as they grew up the gap in their relationship grew too. Soon they barely talked to each. When Lucifer didn’t show support for his mayoral campaign that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Michael cut out Lucifer from his life.

Micheal thought that would be the end of their relationship but when Micheal heard about a winged man with fire powers, he immediately knew it was Lucifer. It’s not rocket science.

Years ago, he and Lucifer agreed to their father that the will keep their powers a secret, it seems Micheal needs to remain his brother of that.

Wow that is a long read-

[faranae]

Rant incoming (OTW/AO3 funding)

Pardon the ramble, this has been going on for months (years technically) but I saw a post again today shared by someone moderately influential and it's a "straw that broke the camel's back" thing. I'll probably pop it later.

It hurts to see how vitriolic folks can be when it comes to the OTW's (Organization for Transformative Works) fundraising. The OTW is more than just a "fanfiction host". The work they do and have done, not just with AO3 but also their other projects and occasional legal advocacy, is important to some people.

Is the OTW perfect? No. Are they struggling for funds? Also no. But these "righteous" PSAs implying the OTW is super wealthy and donations are just throwing money into a fire are misleading at best and positively reek of semi-malicious intent at worst.

So why would anyone rage so hard and write PSAs over which harmless causes other people spend their disposable income in support of?

[tinfoil hat below the cut]

Could it be partly caused by the small (but vocal) fandom-adjacent cliques that astroturf to sabotage the OTW's public image at every opportunity because they're Big Mad that AO3 fights to preserve content they don't like?

Do you really believe that if they win re: the big-nope taboos they'll abandon efforts to sour the other topics they hate? For example, LGBTQ+ content (emphasis on the T, gotta protect them kids /s) has been targeted by these same groups--over literal decades of fandom history--as have works and content created by and for victims of various abuses.

[/tinfoil]

I do not personally support the aforementioned big-nope taboos, but censorship in fandom is a slippery slope that we have fallen down before and I do not want to see that happen again.

I'm NOT saying everyone complaining about the OTW/AO3 fundraising is campaigning for or agrees with the TERFs/bigots et al who seed this shit into our communities, far from it. I am saying it is painfully obvious when a post is blindly parroting their rhetoric (which has often been carefully trimmed and presented in a way that appeals to them).

Next time you see a post hating on something (anything, really) out of nowhere, take a second to think about where they are getting their info, and whether or not that source is credible. For fuck's sake, I've even seen fake screenshots of the OTW's website tweaked just enough to "prove" their points. It's childish.

"But they have a couple million in net assets! They're not allowed to have savings!! They're a nonprofit!!!"

No, no, no. Perfect example of the "parroting" I mentioned earlier. Net assets are not cash. That is the value of everything in and owned by the OTW combined minus their debts/liabilities, not how much they have in the bank.

The OTW is pretty transparent about how much it brings in and where the money goes; They have to do this by law to maintain their nonprofit status. Hell, they'll even toss you the numbers if that's your schtick.

Again, not perfect, but nowhere near as greed-riddled as has been implied by so many posts on my dash over the past couple months. I think I'm more just upset at seeing people I know and respect falling for it hook line and sinker. It makes me angry to think about the people I love being manipulated by folks who seem to be allies, but who are simply waiting for permission to destroy us next.

/endrant

[i-just-wanna-write-fanfic]

RANT

cw: adventure time spoils

ITS SO SAD HOW BETTY AND SIMON WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE FOREVER SHE COULD NEVER ACCEPT OR EVEN TRY TO ACCEPT THAT HE HAD BECOME THE ICE KING, WHILE PEOPLE LIKE MARCY AND PB LEARNED HOW TO BUILD A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM AND ACCEPT THAT HE CAN'T REMEMBER EVERYTHING DUE TO THE CROWN TAKING OVER HIS BRAIN. HER OBJECTIVE WAS NOT TO GET HER LOVE BACK BUT TO GET SIMON BACK. MARCY WANTED SIMON, BUT WAS ABLE TO SETTLE WITH WHAT WAS LEFT AND HAD LEARNED TO LOVE AND ACCEPT THIS NEW SIMON WHILE BETTY COULD ONLY THINK OF ICE KING AS A WORM, AND NOT A BEING THAT WAS TRULY JUST A SAD, CONFUSED SIMON THAT COULD STILL FEEL LOVE, AND LOVE FOR HER, AND HIS OTHER LOVED ONES. THIS WHOLE THING FELL APART BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T HELP BUT NEED SIMON TO FEEL SHE WAS WORTH SOMETHING. IF IT WASN'T THE SIMON THAT COULD MAKE HER FEEL LIKE SHE HAD PURPOSE, THEN SHE DIDN'T WANT IT. HER NOT ACCEPTING HIM AS ICE KING WAS THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK AND RUINED ANY POSSIBLE RELATIONSHIP THEY COULD HAVE HAD. THIS ALSO FELL APART BECAUSE OF SIMON'S NEED, AND GREED FOR KNOLAGDE, AND NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH BETTY. WHILE BETTY NEEDED HIM TO FEEL SHE HAD PURPOSE, HE NEEDED HER TO FEEL HE HAD A REASON TO LIVE, AND HAD SOMETHING BETTER IN HIS LIFE WHEN EVERYONE ELSE MADE HIM FEEL HE WAS WORTH NOTHING. ALTHOUGH SHE WAS HIS EVERYTHING, HE NEVER TREATED HER THAT WAY, HE STILL PUT THE CROWN AND HIMSELF OVER HER AND AN EXAMPLE OF THIS IS HIM MAKING HER SKIP HER TRIP SO HE COULD TALK WITH HER INSTEAD OF JOINING HER ON HER TRIP OR WAITING UNTIL HER TRIP WAS OVER TO TALK WITH HER ABOUT THE NOTE SHE LEFT HIM.

[starsweepers]

hello, friends !!! thanks so much for bearing with me, allowing me to unload the other evening, being understanding, and being patient as i took a bit to recuperate. i appreciate it. i despise bringing any negativity to this blog, but after 10+ years on this site, i had a "straw that broke the camel's back" moment the other night. this one instance is by far not the only thing that was on my mind on wednesday, it was more just an explosion from a lot of things. it was irrational to a degree, and i apologize for being extremely crude language wise, but i was in a furious state at the time and not in the right headspace for proper eloquence lol.

i've cleaned up my blog except i am keeping the rant. i feel like it's a bit disingenuous for me to delete it right now. i regret how i kind of went about it but not the rant itself. i did put it under a readmore, though, to just make it less prevalent. it still adheres, being forced to choose between people i like sucks, and i just. will try to respect my friends, but at this point i will prioritize myself when it comes to situations like these.

so an apology to those of you who cringed at me the other night, but a thank you all for sticking with me for a moment to snap. i am done with that and handling anything further regarding the issue privately. i am here for fun and to spread sunshine. that is why i roleplay. not for all this... unnecessary blehness.

this is therefore the last post i will be doing regarding any of the situation or the whole perspective i have. back to the regular scheduled ( or lack of schedule... ) programming of silly blorbos and slow replies lol. anon will be off for a smidge, however, just to protect my sanity a bit.

blowing kisses!