#The screen is so small that it hurts to use it most of the time | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

flowersforbucky · 7 days ago

Text

sweetener

bucky barnes x reader

summary: when the vacation that you've been planning for months gets canceled due to a last minute mission, you can't help but feel bummed - the bright side is that you're being sent on a mission with bucky.

word count: 5.3k - my masterlist

warnings/tags: canon level violence, descriptions of injuries, mention of blood, almost drowning, hospital setting, bad guys getting killed (not descriptive), non-sexual nudity, hurt/comfort trope, avenger!reader, friends to lovers, fluff, language, reader pov, no use of y/n, fem reader, bucky being super soft, not explicit but mdni please

when life deals us cards

make everything taste like it is salt

then you come through like the sweetener you are

to bring the bitter taste to a halt

Hand warmers. Flashlight and extra batteries. Can opener. Matches. First aid kit –

You glance down the handwritten list for the dozenth time that morning, checking and rechecking that you aren't forgetting anything obvious.

Your eyes flicker between the ridiculous amount of supplies scattered across your bed and the three large duffle bags on your floor that you're determined to pack it all into. You know that you are most likely being excessive, but you'd much rather be too thorough than not thorough enough when you're about to be miles deep in the Appalachian wilderness.

Sure, you'd be staying at a relatively civilized campground with restrooms and showers, but this is the first time that you've been camping in years, and your first time ever going camping alone.

A two day road trip there, then six days in the Great Smoky Mountains, and then another two day road trip back to upstate New York.

A much needed ten days of time spent by yourself, seeing as how you haven't gone on anything resembling a vacation in over two years. The last couple years have been nonstop work with very little time for relaxation.

To say that you're excited would be an understatement. Although you find immense fulfillment in the work that you do with the Avengers and can't see yourself doing anything else, you're ready to sit by a warm fire and sleep under the stars without a care in the world.

Just as you've finished packing the second bag and are about to begin on the third, the Bluetooth speaker that your cell phone is paired to begins blasting your ringtone, cutting off the music that you'd been listening to while you pack.

When you grab the phone off of your nightstand and see the name Nick Fury displayed across the screen, a ball of unease immediately forms in the pit of your stomach.

Nick Fury isn't the type to call and chit chat about how your day is going or what shows you've been binge watching. He's the type to call when he wants something done, and wants it done now.

“Hey, Fury,” you greet in a neutral tone as you perch on the edge of your bed. With the phone still connected to your speaker, you place it back down on the nightstand so that you are free to wring your hands together.

“Agent,” Fury's voice booms throughout your room. “I hope I've caught you before you've left the state of New York.”

Godfuckingdammit.

“Uh - yep. I'm still here. Packing up for my trip right now,” you answer, trying your hardest to conceal the irritation in your voice. There's a small voice in the back of your head telling you that you should just lie and say you are already on the road, but you're not stupid enough to lie to Nick Fury.

There's a second, louder voice in the back of your mind screaming at you that you shouldn’t have even answered the phone.

“You know I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm going to suggest you pack a tactical suit and weapon of choice instead of hiking boots and a sleeping bag. We just got word that a vibranium weapons dealer we've been tracking will be receiving a large shipment at a port in Destin tomorrow night. Need you and Barnes on a flight to Florida this afternoon.”

“Florida?” you repeat, unable to hide the shock and disappointment in your tone. “I can't go to Florida right now. I've been planning this trip for months. I put in the notice for my leave–”

“I realize that this is unfortunate timing but I'm afraid that this is non-negotiable, Agent,” he interrupts you in a tone of finality. “If we don't intercept this shipment then these weapons fall into very dangerous hands. With Romanoff and Rogers still in San Antonio until next week, I have no choice but to ask you and Barnes to handle it.”

You exhale an audible, frustrated breath and massage the heels of your palms into your eye sockets. You don't know why you're surprised. It's not like illegal arms dealers take your vacation time into consideration when they plot their dealings.

“Is that understood, Agent?” he asks when you don't respond.

“Yes,” you say as you dig your nails into the flesh of your palm to hold back any further argument. “Yes, I understand.”

“Great. The jet leaves in three hours.”

The line cuts off before you can get another word out.

You groan out loud. Three hours. That doesn't even leave you enough time to feel sorry for yourself.

You look around at the chaotic state of your room before your gaze lands on the already packed duffle bags filled with camping supplies.

You're too annoyed and short on time to care right now, so you empty the contents of both bags back onto your bed and tell yourself that you'll deal with the mess when you get back home. For now, you need to focus on packing the appropriate items for taking down a vibranium arms dealer in hotass Florida.

Beneath all of the disappointment and frustration, there's a glimmer of relief that at the very least it's Bucky who you're being sent on this unexpected mission with. You may not be fond of hot weather, but you are quite fond of him.

••••••

Just as Fury said, the jet departs from the compound at exactly three o'clock. You sit in the aircraft's cabin, reading through a thick file containing all of the information that SHIELD has compiled on Dmitri Petrov's crime empire, ranging from drug smuggling to illegal arms deals.

You are only a few pages into the report and it's abundantly clear why this mission was non-negotiable. Petrov has been getting away unscatched for years - tomorrow night will be the first clear opportunity for a take down since getting on SHIELD's radar.

“Coffee?” A voice snaps you back to reality, making you realize that you're reading the same sentence for the dozenth time. “Three creams, two sugars.”

You look up to find a vibranium hand holding out a disposable cup to you. If the fact that he's committed the way you take your coffee to memory isn't enough to increase your heart rate, his smirk and the crinkles around his blue eyes do the trick.

“Thank you,” you tell him, snapping the folder shut on the table in front of you. “My eyes are on the verge of bleeding.” You take a sip of the coffee - indeed, three creams and two sugars.

He takes the seat directly across from you, spinning the folder around for him to flip through himself.

“We land in less than half an hour and you've been reading this the entire flight,” he says teasingly as he thumbs through the pages. “I think it's safe to say you're prepared.”

He places the file back down, returning his attention to you.

“Just trying to get myself in the right headspace. I didn't know anything about this operation until a few hours ago, you know.”

Not one to complain, you had yet to bring up the fact that your trip had been postponed in order for you to be here. You had talked about the trip on several occasions with Bucky, but you didn't expect him to remember the exact dates that you were supposed to be gone.

Sure - if he was going to be away for over a week, you'd be hyper aware of it until he returned - but you weren't naive enough to think that he would know the exact dates of your comings and goings.

“I know,” he sighs, a sympathetic look on his face. “I was on my way to tell you to have a good trip and to be safe when I got the call from Fury this morning.”

Oh. Your cheeks heat at the casual admission from him.

“I'm sorry about your trip. I know you were really looking forward to it,” he adds sincerely. “I'm going to find extra enjoyment in putting Dmitri Petrov behind bars for causing it to get canceled.”

“You and me both,” you chuckle. “Really though, it's okay. I was bummed, but it's not the end of the world. It can easily be rescheduled once this guy is locked up and we're back home.”

You don't add the fact that you find yourself caring less and less about the canceled trip the longer that you sit here with him.

“There is at least one silver lining to this, you know,” he chimes, leaning forward with his elbows on the table between you. You instinctively lean in closer too, causing the side of your leg to brush against his beneath the table. You wait to see if he'll pull away, and when he doesn't, you leave the side of your thigh resting against his.

“Oh, yeah? And what's that?”

“Petrov’s shipment isn't set to arrive until tomorrow night, and they've sent us down here the day prior. It's not like we have to stay holed up in our hotel room for the next twenty-four hours, right?”

••••••

Bucky's right - there's no sense in locking yourselves inside the hotel room until the time of the weapons deal tomorrow evening, but when you see the hotel room that you'll be spending the next couple nights in, you think you would also be okay with staying inside if you had to.

It's not a five star resort by any means, but in comparison to the dingy roadside motels that you're normally stuck in for missions? This place might as well be a Four Seasons.

It's relatively small, but there's more than enough space for the two of you. There's one full size bed, plus a couch that converts to a futon mattress - the latter of which Bucky insists on taking, giving you the bed. The bathroom is nearly as big as the main room, with a jacuzzi tub that's bigger than three standard bathtubs put together.

And the best part of it? When you open the curtains to the sliding glass door on the backside of the room, there's a clear view of turquoise water and white sand.

“I guess Fury felt a little bad about springing this on me at the last minute, after all,” you sigh as you pull the door open, letting the light breeze pull the smell of saltwater into the room. “Can't say that I’ve been given a beachfront room for a mission before.”

Bucky walks up to stand beside you, leaning against the doorframe and staring out to the ocean.

“It's definitely a step up from the rat and roach infested Motel 6 that Sam and I had to spend three nights in when we were sent to Atlanta for recon last month.”

You shake your head, both cringing and laughing at the memory of him ranting about the motel room as soon as he saw you after returning home.

“It was the size of a fucking capybara. Why are you laughing? I opened the bathroom door and it charged at me–”

A sudden deep rumbling noise snaps you out of the memory and you glance down at your stomach in surprise. You suppose it makes sense that your body is screaming at you to eat - you had such little time to pack for Destin before your flight left that you hadn't even bothered with lunch today.

“How does pizza sound?” Bucky asks with a knowing smirk. “I saw a pizza place just down the street on the way here.”

“Anything sounds good right now,” you sigh, both starving and exhausted from your day of packing, unpacking, re-packing and traveling.

“I'll go grab one for us,” he tells you, pulling the keys to the rental car out of his pocket. “Just stay here and get settled in.”

You don't object, itching to change into comfier, more weather appropriate clothes. When you left the state of New York just a few hours ago, it was chilly outside. Now that you are in eighty plus degree Destin, the sweater and boots that you're wearing have got to go.

You unpack your bag, thankful that you had brought a pair of casual drawstring shorts. You throw them on, along with a tank top. You decide to go ahead and convert the futon from a sofa into a bed, and then search through the hotel room's small linen closet for a set of sheets and a quilt. If Bucky insists on you taking the comfier sleeping option and going to get food for the two of you, you figure the least you can do is make his bed for him.

When he returns, he not only has a large cardboard box containing the pizza, but a plastic bag hanging from his vibranium arm as well.

“Grab a towel and follow me,” he tells you before he's even closed the door behind him.

“Follow you?” You laugh, taken aback by the instructions. “Where are we going?”

You hop up from where you'd been mindlessly scrolling on your phone on the bed, doing as he asked and grabbing one of the complementary beach towels from the bathroom closet.

“Not staying holed up in our hotel room. Remember?”

And with that he pulls the sliding glass door open with his empty hand and exits the room, heading towards the beach that sits directly in the backyard. You don't even take the time to throw on a pair of tennis shoes before practically running after him through the sand.

He comes to a stop when he's a few yards away from where the waves wash up against shore and turns back to look at you. You take it as your cue to spread the towel across the sand at your feet.

He sits down and you follow, the cardboard box nestled between you. He opens it, revealing a pizza that is split down the middle - half your favorite, half his favorite.

“I know it's not a campfire in the Great Smoky Mountains,” he smirks. He digs into the plastic bag and pulls out a drink for each of you, along with some napkins. “But it's the best I could do in our current situation.”

The sentiment leaves you momentarily speechless. You know it isn't a grand declaration of love, and it might not mean as much to some people as it does to you - but you can't remember the last time someone went out of their way just to improve your day in such a simple yet thoughtful way.

Between the pizza, the vibrant pink and purple sky as the sun sinks beyond the ocean's horizon, the sound of the waves and him beside you, you wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now.

“No,” you murmur. “It's not. But it's perfect.”

••••••

The next day, you manage to forget that you're actually on a super important mission taking down a dangerous illegal arms dealer.

The first half of the day feels like an actual vacation - the closest thing you've had to a vacation in a long time, anyway. You sleep in until nearly ten o'clock in the morning - which may not be considered sleeping in for some people, but in this line of work, you've overslept if you're still in bed at eight am.

After waking up thoroughly rested and refreshed, the two of you get brunch and then spend the early hours of the afternoon leisurely strolling at the boardwalk just a short drive from your hotel.

You and Bucky are sitting on a bench eating ice cream when you check your phone for the first time in hours and realize how quickly the day has gone. It's already four o'clock - you're due to be on lookout at the pier where Petrov's exchange will occur soon.

“What's wrong?” Bucky asks when you huff under your breath as you stick your phone back into your pocket. “Nervous about tonight?”

You're not nervous, truthfully. You're fully confident that you and Bucky will be able to handle the job. You've been on countless missions less straight forward than this before, and so has he.

“No,” you shake your head as you take another bite of your ice cream cone. “It's… silly,” you say, waving your hand in dismissal.

“I'm sure it's not silly,” he assures you gently.

You pause, staring at a couple holding hands in the distance as you contemplate your words.

Bucky seems to follow your gaze.

“Today has just been really nice,” you shrug with a small smile. “I almost don't want to go back home.”

From your peripheral vision, you see his face shift to look at you. You continue to eat your ice cream, pretending that his stare doesn't warm you more than the Florida sun.

“We're on the same page then, doll.”

••••••

A few hours later, a feeder ship pulls up to the pier just after dusk.

“We've got eyes on three men,” you say lowly into your communication device. “They're guarding the pier. No sign of Petrov yet.”

“He'll show,” Fury's voice echoes in your ear. “Keep watch until then. Backup is on standby to take him in.” The comm clicks off before you can respond.

“I know there's a lot riding on this going smoothly,” you grumble as you bring your binoculars back up to your eyes. “But sometimes I think he just really needs to get laid.”

You and Bucky are across the road from the pier, concealed by large shrubs and the darkness of the night sky. You've been sitting here as still and silently as possible for well over an hour, before Petrov's men had even arrived to stand guard at the dock.

You really fucking have to pee.

Headlights begin to approach from down the street, and as the vehicle gets closer you're able to see that it's a large, black van.

Totally not suspicious at all.

It comes to a stop close to the boat dock, and a second later Petrov hops out of the driver's seat. You recognize him right away by his shrimpy build and receding hairline.

“I should just take them all out from here and be done with this,” Bucky grumbles from beside you.

“I agree,” you sigh. “But Fury's adamant that Petrov be brought in alive if possible. He’s got an empire behind him that we need to find out as much as possible about. His men, however..” you trail off.

Bucky looks through the scope of his gun, zeroing in on one of the guards.

“Blow a tire on the van first,” you murmur. “So Petrov can't flee.”

“I'll take out these three guards, and then I'll get Petrov and call for back-up. You worry about getting to that ship and taking out anyone inside. Sound like a plan?”

“Easy peasy,” you agree.

Less than thirty seconds later, all three guards have dropped dead and Petrov is frantically running to his van, unaware that Bucky had shot the back tire after killing his guards. You and Bucky emerge from the shrubs, sprinting across the road. He dashes towards Petrov, who freezes and begins shouting curses in Russian when he sees what is running towards him.

Bucky lands a punch to Petrov's jaw as you're running past them, only slowing down enough to not trip over the guard’s dead bodies that are littered across the dock.

You're only a few yards away from the ship when you hear Bucky screech your name. You immediately come to a halt, turning back to see why he could be calling for you.

You see a tall, burly man - someone that you and Bucky hadn't noticed before - sprinting down the dock after you. He raises his arm above his head, his hand holding a rocklike object that he sends barreling in your direction.

It's the last thing you see before everything fades to black.

••••••

The shrill, repetitive beeping of a monitor pulls you out of limbo and back to earth.

You're met with painfully bright, fluorescent lighting that has you squinting your eyes shut before you can make sense of your surroundings.

“Bucky,” you attempt to call out but it sounds like the croak of a lifelong smoker. Your eyes begin to adjust to the harsh lighting, allowing you to see that you're alone in a hospital room. You raise your fingertips to where it feels as if your brain is pulsing through your skull. There's a thick, defined knot on the top of your head that's sensitive to the touch.

Panic starts to take over you. Bits and pieces of the mission start to flash through your mind. Bucky shooting the guards, you running towards the feeder ship when you heard Bucky yell your name and then turning to see –

“Bucky!” You call out louder, your voice still hoarse. You sit up, not hesitating to carelessly yank an IV out of your arm. You're vaguely aware of the fact that you're in only a hospital gown and that blood is now trickling down your left arm, but you don't care.

You throw your legs over the side of the bed, standing up far too quickly. Your vision fades to a fuzzy gray and you're overcome with an intense wave of vertigo as the room spins around you. You grab onto the metal side railing of the hospital bed to keep yourself upright, desperately trying to focus your eyes enough to find the nurse's call button.

“Hi! I'll be to your room in just a moment–” An overly cheerful, feminine voice pours from the speaker a moment after pressing the button.

“What happened? How long have I been here? Where is my–”

The door to your room opens, and you immediately breathe an audible sigh of relief as your last question is answered. He looks as though he could use a good night's sleep, but he is okay.

“What the fuck happened?” Bucky exclaims as he rushes over to where you're still clutching the hospital bed railing for support. You follow his gaze to your arm, seeing that there's now blood all over your gown as well as the white floor around your feet.

“I could ask you the same thing,” you mumble, embarrassed by your current state. He guides you back to the edge of the mattress before walking away to get a towel from the bathroom. “I was worried something happened to you,” you add weakly.

He wipes the blood trail on your skin before using the hand towel to apply pressure to the puncture in the bend of your arm.

“I'm okay,” he assures you delicately. “I had just gone to get some coffee.” He glances at the styrofoam to-go cup that you hadn't even noticed him place on the bedside table when he entered the room.

“How long was I asleep?” You ask, noticing that it's still pitch dark outside. You also notice that he's no longer in the clothes that he wore on the mission - now wearing a pair of loose fitting black sweatpants and a matching hoodie. “What happened?”

“There was another guy in the back of Petrov’s van,” Bucky tenses, still holding the towel to your arm for you. “We were both distracted and he snuck up on you. He hit you over the head with a piece of vibranium and threw you into the water.” His jaw clenches as he recounts what happened, meeting your gaze with a pained look.

“But you saved me,” you finish for him.

“Yes,” he gulps. “I did. But I was almost too late. By the time I knocked out Petrov and killed the man who hit you.. it felt like it took forever to find you in the water. You almost drown–”

He cuts himself off, unable to force the last word out. A nurse enters the room as you open your mouth to offer him reassurance. Bucky holds your gaze for a split-second longer before reluctantly dropping his hold on your arm and turning to take a seat in the room's singular guest chair.

The nurse informs you that they did a CT scan while you were unconscious, and that while you don't have any swelling or bleeding on your brain from the blow, the doctor believes you to have a concussion and tells you that she will need to do an exam now that you are awake before they feel comfortable discharging you.

Judging by the high-pitched ringing that you've heard in your ears since you woke up and the way that you feel dizzy when you even think about trying to stand up, you don't doubt that you're concussed.

An hour later, you've been thoroughly examined and it is confirmed that yes - you are indeed concussed. The doctor discharges you under the condition that you don't drive and that someone keeps a close eye on you for the next twenty-four hours.

“Don't worry,” you hear Bucky tell her when you step into the bathroom to throw on a pair of dry sweatpants, a t-shirt, and cheap shower slides that the hospital had given you to wear back to the hotel, seeing as how your tactical suit and boots are still sopping wet with ocean water. “I'm not letting her out of my sight.”

The nurse who helps you dress gives you a small smirk at his words.

“You're a lucky woman,” she tells you quietly. “He was worried sick until you woke up.”

You avoid her gaze, your cheeks heating. You busy yourself by tightening the drawstrings to the gray sweatpants.

“I am lucky,” you agree. “He's a great partner.”

She raises an eyebrow at the word partner, but doesn't make any further comment.

By the time that you and Bucky make it back to your hotel room, the sun has started to rise.

Bucky all but carries you inside, only letting go of you when you're perched on the edge of the mattress. Your head is still throbbing despite the extra strength ibuprofen that you'd taken before leaving the hospital, and you still can't walk without stumbling from dizziness, but at least the intense ringing in your ears has begun to subside.

You feel tired down to your very bones, but you have no doubt that Bucky is even more exhausted. You'd been unconscious for nearly eight hours during the night, whereas he had been awake the entire time sitting by your bedside.

“You get some rest,” you tell him. You brace your hands against the mattress, preparing to attempt to stand back up. “I smell like a mixture of sweat and fish from being in the ocean, so I'm going to shower off.”

You push yourself off of the bed, and as quickly as you stand, you're sitting back down. The room immediately begins spinning in circles around you, sending a wave of nausea through the pit of your stomach.

“Yeah, not likely,” Bucky huffs lightly. “You can't stand up, and the shower doesn't have a seat. How about we compromise on a bath?”

You give a weak nod, too tired to protest. A warm bath sounds incredible right now.

Bucky retreats to the bathroom, where he turns on the water to fill the tub before returning to help you get up from the bed without toppling over. He secures his flesh arm around your waist and guides you to the closed toilet, where you carefully sit down.

“Do you.. need help undressing? Or..?” He asks hesitantly.

“No,” you breathe with an awkward laugh. “I think I've got it.”

He gives you a quick nod, looking away to give you the privacy to shed your clothes. You carefully tug the oversized t-shirt the hospital had given you over your head, wincing when it brushes against the swollen knot on the side of your scalp. You rise off the lid of the toilet just enough to push your sweatpants down to your ankles.

“Okay,” you murmur, letting him know that you're ready to step into the tub.

He grabs one of your hands in his, and places his metal hand on the small of your back as you step over the side of the large jacuzzi tub and into the water.

Not that you don't trust your other teammates. But with Bucky, it doesn't feel vulnerable.

You're aware of the intimacy of the scenario, but you can't find it in yourself to feel insecure or embarrassed right now - you're sure that's largely due to the concussion, but you think it's also simply because of who you're with.

If it were Sam, or Steve, or anyone else, you know you'd be mortified to be utterly exposed as they help you take a bath. If it were anyone else you wouldn't be taking a bath right now - you would have just gone to sleep and waited until you could fully do it yourself instead of putting yourself in such a vulnerable position.

He lowers you into the water, your entire body instantly relaxing at the warmth. You glance to his face, noticing a faint purple bruise along his cheekbone.

“I'm going to leave the door cracked. I'll be right outside if you need anything. Just let me know when you're ready to get out, okay?”

You don't respond, instead reaching up to his face, where you run your finger along the outline of the bruise. He freezes beneath your touch, his eyes meeting yours.

“Don't worry,” he assures you softly. “It was a lot worse when it first happened. It's already almost gone.”

“I'm sorry,” you whisper. “It happened because of me. I wasn't paying attention as well as I should have been. Should have heard that guy coming.”

“Don't say that.” He places his flesh hand on top of where yours still rests against his cheek and then brings it in front of his lips, his eyes never leaving yours. “You're okay, and that's the only thing that matters now.”

“Mmm,” you hum, staring at his lips that are no more than an inch away from your hand.

“What are you thinking?” he asks, his voice patient and curious.

You hesitate for a brief moment before leaning forward and pressing your lips to the bruise in a featherlight kiss. You pull back, once more resting your back against the tub and giving him a small shrug.

“Just thinking that I wanted to do that. Have for a while.”

He grins, a faint blush taking over the apples of his cheeks.

“Yeah, I'd say you're definitely concussed.”

He then presses his lips to the side of your hand, causing goosebumps to form across your skin despite the warm water that you sit in.

You chuckle, your smile matching his. “I am,” you agree. “But the concussion will go away soon, and I'll still want to kiss you then, too.”

“I hope that you will do just that.”

••••••

One month later

You wake up to the smell of campfire smoke that creeps through the crack in the partially zipped tent.

Despite a thick sleeping bag, multiple blankets, and the plush sweater that you wear, you can't help but shiver.

Something is missing.

You look around the tent, your eyes adjusting to the early morning daylight that filters into the tent.

Someone is missing.

You reluctantly exit your cozy sleeping bag, shoving your wool sock covered feet into your boots and crawling out of the tent.

Bucky is facing away from you, cracking an egg into a pan that is positioned over the fire.

“Good morning,” you murmur as you creep up behind him, wrapping an arm around his midsection. He wraps his own arm around your shoulders, pulling you flush against him and pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Morning, sleepy head,” he teases softly. “What's on the agenda today?”

“Maybe some hiking, maybe some biking,” you shrug into him. “Maybe a little bit of you keeping me warm in that tent.”

He laughs, more carefree than you've ever seen him before.

“See? It's a good thing that your trip got postponed. What if I wasn't here to keep you warm?”

You raise up to capture his lips in yours, the taste of fresh brewed French press coffee on his breath.

“Remind me to thank Fury for that when we get back.”

thank you so much for reading 💕🫶🏻 comments and reblogs are infinitely appreciated!!

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fic #fluff

839 notes · View notes

r3starttt · 7 months ago

Text

YOUR WOMAN

☆ lawyer! Abby

CW: dom-top! abby. sub! reader. thigh riding. spanking. good girl-princess-angel.

Abby was beyond exhausted. This whole week had been full of dumb people bothering her and her current clients - a married couple, because there were papers missing or formalities unfinished.

And no matter what she did, there was always something wrong, and having the patience she has, whenever she was awake her humor was horrible, which lead to her keeping distance with you. Whenever she tried to sleep, she couldn't, and it was torture to see your clearly hurt expression or having the most stressful nightmares whenever she could finally close her eyes.

She'd proposed to spend the whole weekend with you, but of course she couldn't get what she wanted, ever.

Starting with her being awake early in the morning by the stress and all the caffeine she consumed a day before making effect on her body, still. Then, her clients panicking over another important paper deal that apparently had to do with her. She couldn't even have a proper breakfast, not even sit next to you and at least watch you eat and hear you talk about your week. Nothing.

So when the sunlight started to fade, you felt like a blessing appeared. Forgetting about how much you've needed her the whole week, you needed her to have a rest, to distract her mind a little. And what's better than you both getting what you much need in a little time? She sure can get some minutes for this.

So, with only one of her t shirts you innocently walked outside her office, around thousands of times before she noticed you. Or so you thought since you heard that pretty laugh she has. The one that she uses for mocking you, such a pleasure.

"Come here" she looked tired, and it made you regret your plan, just for a couple seconds before you saw the veins on her hands shine just perfectly when she patted on her lap for you to come sit on her.

"What're you doing? Mhm?" You placed your legs intertwined with hers, making yourself comfortable in the small chair she had been working at all day. Hesitating a little, you responded "nothing?"

"Oh, sure we're doing nothing?" Her fingers trailed a small path along the sides of your thighs, rolling the hem of your shirt up your hips. You, on the other hand, let your weight rest fully on her, positioning the palms of your hands on top of her shoulders to keep you in place.

"I'm pretty sure we do" your fingers grabbed the sides of her glasses gently, taking them off. While placing them on top of the wooden desk, you took a glance at the screen, almost darkening at how long it had been since she paid attention to it.

As much as you desired her, you couldn't dare to keep her busy from work, which didn't seem like the occasion.

Her usual braid was messy, with some locks of her hair dancing above her cheeks. You moved them behind her ears, tracing a path down her neck which was lately followed by your lips letting open mouthed kisses along it.

The pressure growing in between your legs grew at each move you or her did. Her leg bouncing felt like hell, and you couldn't help but rub yourself on her. You could feel her grinding, her hands leading your ass as she pleased.

Your last sight was her eyes closing, previously for you. Her mouth opening very slightly as the feeling of your saliva sent shivers to her whole body.

The grip on your lower back got tighter, lowering till her hands were fully grasping at your ass, trying to prevent you from moving. You only kept on fighting her. "Don't" she hissed.

You laughed in between kisses, ending in her clavicle connected to your lips by a small trail of saliva. Your hips kept on grinding on her lap, and by how her leg also kept bouncing you thought she was just fine with it, she wasn't.

"Fuck it, stop" her voice sounded too overwhelmed for you to take it serious, until she made you take it seriously. "Stop it, stay".

You whined at it, annoyed by all her restrictions even when she was the one that needed a hard fuck this time. You hate- despised that stubborn side of her, the one that kept you under her control all the time, because what else could you want on days like this than just please her and make her cum all over you, make her take a proper break. Fuck her.

You were ready to just sit on her lap, have a quick make out session and leave her alone, but that's not what she meant, and you knew it.

"Don't act like that" her thumb slided outside your lips, down your chin. "You wanted my attention, so bad? Then fucking take it"

Your tongue slid out your lips, making space for her fingers. Her hand pulled you closer to her, pressing her lips against you in such messy kiss. Drool all over your faces.

She'd laugh in between kisses, pressing you closer by holding the back of your head and practically lead you to where she wanted, how she wanted.

She could feel- see the damp spot on her pants, growing every time she groaned in your mouth, whined at you deliciously you'd tuck at her braid. She couldn't wait any longer either.

Her hands pressed on your chest, pushing you enough for her to have space to speak. "You're gonna take my pants off" she murmured, her nose dancing closely to yours "and you're gonna ride 'em"

You stupidly nodded, standing on your feet again, taking your time to get rid of her belt and- god, such gorgeous view. The warm light of her office lightening her legs, her thighs, her stomach showing once you made a mess of her and her blouse. "Sit"

You did as you were told, sitting as you were in the very first beginning. "You think you can get yourself off?" Her hands kept you in place, not even letting you realize what was happening. You just nodded, letting her manhandle you as she wished.

"Good" you heard her husky voice, her hands making circles along the fat of your ass, leading you up her thigh, then down her knee. You let out small whimpers, already pooling her whole leg, clenching at the emptiness. "Good girl"

Every time your clit rubbed against her skin- there was such an obscene sound, wet, loud. Abby couldn't help but widen her smile, you looked so inviting, so pretty, just for her. Smile that vacuumed out of her face the moment you, cautionary, tried to increase the speed.

Her hand moved off your ass, slapping it just a few seconds later. You felt your legs shake at it, such delicious pleasure with a mix of pain starting to mix just right near your cunt. "So wet mhm? Like it when I do that?" She mocked.

"Making a mess on me" her lips pressed over your clavicle, leaving tender kisses along it. Your lips kept right next to her ear, giving her the privilege of hearing your agitated breathing, your whines and pleads over and over again.

There was a knot of pleasure appearing on your stomach, her hands, her words, her smell, her everything was making you insane. The feeling of her bare legs somehow hitting your clit and arousal just perfectly, as if your bodies were made to fit with each other. You knew you wouldn't last long.

The plush of your thighs got harshly gripped by her fingers. "I know baby, I know" You replied equally, holding yourself with the help of your hands on her neck, now being lead to a much satisfying and fast speed than before. "C'mon"

"It's okay angel, yeah, yeah" Abby mumbled as she felt your body filling on top of her. She felt the wetness on her thigh increasing more and more, you could only thank her for it. "Ride it out, just like that"

"Fuck- abby" You let out breathlessly, your voice sloghtly acute. Her hands moved to your back, holding you in place. You looked fucking gorgeous. "Such a good girl f' me princess. Did so good f' me" your ears got covered in a wave of compliments, how you've done so good, how pretty you looked, all followed by kisses on your temple, circles on your back. God she was fucking sweet.

"Come here" you shifter your gaze upwards, meeting her eyes, so shiny and full of adoration. "Kiss" your lips pressed on hers, not caring about your still pretty evident exhaustion or the mess you've done.

"Do me a favor" she mumbled, giving you a short kiss after. You replied with a quiet 'yeah?'.

"Lick my thigh clean, can you?" a sheepish smile adorned your face, rolling your eyes yet doing as she asked you to, a favor, right?

Your feet stepped the cold floor, slowly getting on your knees. Leaning your head closer to her thigh, you stick out your tongue, taking a taste of the mess you've done on her. Your eyes never left hers.

Her fingers trailed the path of your cheek bones, as if she was still guiding you through it.

Your hands travelled to the sides of her legs, stopped by her own hands once she realized what you were trying to do. "Nuh uh, go get clean and take a nap" your tongue got back to its place, leaving one last kiss on her thigh. You weren't planing on fighting with her.

"Good" You stood up, giving her a last glance, taking note of how she looked even when half of her wasn't an unusual view for you. "Promise I'll finish... all this" her hand signaled to her screen, clearly still a bit stressed by her work. "Then I'll be with you, doing whatever you want, yeah?" You simply smiled at her, trying to let abby know she could always take her time. You'd wait an eternity for her if necessary.

"How's that sound then?" You humorously rolled your eyes "perfect" her hands opened one more time, making space for you. You followed her, feeling her hands embrace you.

"Thanks" she murmured, her voice muffled but her face being so close to your stomach. You laughed, completely enamored by her, your hands caressing her hair. "I better get what I want later"

Abby pushed you away gently, laughing back and nodding at your request. "Go" You turned around, getting to feel her hands one last time, on your ass, so sweet of her, right?

#( 𓍼𓈀A𝕽𝐂𝐇𝖎V𝕰 ⨟ 𓍯 abby )#( 𝕽 𝜊S.mut )#abby x y/n #abby fanfiction #abby x you #abby x fem!reader #abby x reader #abby tlou #abby anderson #abby smut #abby x reader smut #abby x black reader #abby anderson smut #abby anderson x y/n #abby anderson x black reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson x female reader #abby anderson x reader

1K notes · View notes

cupidsdolll · 8 days ago

Text

The Feeling Came Late (I’m Still Glad I Met You)

pairings: grumpy!college student! Harry x fem! sunshine!reader

summary: Harry hates Y/N, it seems like it's been like that forever. He's quick to insult and correct her even when she's right, he's just always been the only one to pick on her no matter what she does. She doesn't understand why it's like this between them or what she did to make him dislike her so much, but what if it's all just a lie?

overall warnings: slow burn, eventual smut, sexual tension, kind of enemies to lovers, angst, alcohol consumption and drug mentions, foul language, Harry is a major asshole in this tbh, heavy on the grumpy x sunshine in this.

chapter 2/? (wc: 3.4k)

masterlist

001 | 01 | 02

- - - -

Chapter 2: Surprise, Surprise

Harry wakes up to the sound of his phone dinging and he grumbles as he sits up and stretches. He looks around and stops his tired gaze at the small window next to his bed. It's dark with just a hint of sunlight beginning to cut through the glass windows, this is definitely not the scenery he's used to when he awakes from his slumber. Groggily he grabs his phone with one hand and rubs his left eye with the other, turns on the phone and hisses as he squints.

He quickly turns the brightness of the screen down to a manageable setting and mumbles under his breath when he sees it's a little past six in the morning.

"Who the fuck is awake right now and why are they trying to talk to me. Someone better be fucking dying." The message is from an unknown number, the numbers staring at him tauntingly.

///

Unknown: hey. it's y/n. i got your number from principal Oscar. lmk whenever works best for you and i'll do my best to arrange my schedule otherwise! :)

— — —

He grumbles once more about the timing of the text and stares at the screen trying to think of an appropriate response. He could and absolutely wants to just leave her on read and never talk to her again. That seems like the most appropriate since she interrupted his sleep, why is she even up this early? But maybe he should show a sliver of compassion and reply to the text briefly before going back to sleep.

He decides on not texting back, simply because all this thinking of replying, responses and times is making his head hurt, so he sets his phone back onto the small wooden table beside his bed and clambers back into the warm cocoon of his blankets. Wrapping himself in the thick blanket, he sighs blissfully as his head relaxes into the soft cushiony bed. He begins to close his eyes and go back to sleep, the pleasant warm feeling of sleep very quickly approaching him.

Just as soon as he gets comfortable and almost falls asleep, his phone dings once more. He grumbles as he throws the blanket off of him and grabs his phone once again. The same numbers teasing him as another text comes through.

///

Unknown: this is harry right? i'm so sorry if this isn't!

////

He rolls his eyes as he mumbles, his fingers typing away on the keyboard as he sends his response.

Harry: Yes, it's me. In case you haven't noticed, it's five in the morning. I was asleep.

///

He gets a response almost immediately, as if she was staying in the chat waiting for a response.

Unknown: yes i know! why are you still sleep? i like to get my day started early!

Harry: Because no one in their right mind is up this early.

Unknown: sorry for waking you! just wanted to see what times and days work best for you. :)

Harry: Give me a couple hours.

Unknown: okay! have a good nap! :)

— — —

He mumbles again as he sets his phone grumpily back on the table, wrapping himself back into his blanket just to find it's not as warm anymore. He mutters under his breath, silently complaining about her up so early and choosing to annoy him so early as well, and to top it off she made him lose the warmth of his blankets. He wraps himself up in the blanket and lays back down, resting his head on the soft pillow as he closes his eyes.

Opening his eyes once more a couple hours later, he gets up and stretches once again. The muscles in his back pops smoothly and he groans softly. He gets out of his bed and quickly makes his bed, wrinkles sit in the middle of the blanket as he sets his pillow on top, but he can’t bring himself to care. He feels much better after getting another couple hours of sleep.

He heads into the bathroom and relieves his bladder, sighing in relief as it empties. Shutting the lid down, he flushes the toilet and heads to the sink so he can wash his hands. After he's finished, he brushes his hair and puts it in a man bun.

Walking over to the small dresser where he keeps his clothes, he opens his needed drawers and pulls out an outfit. Settling on a white Rolling Stones t-shirt and some black skinny jeans, he gets dressed and makes sure he puts on his signature rings. Once he's done with that, he sprays his Tom Ford cologne and grabs his phone, responding to the very few notifications he does have and stares at Y/N's name in his message list.

Her simple text stares at him, somehow politely demanding a response from a couple hours ago. He huffs and mutters 'fucks sake' under his breath as he clicks on it and begins to type out his response.

///

Harry: I'm available anytime

///

Not too long after, just long enough for him to set his phone in his pocket and slip on his brown Chelsea boots, his phone dings.

///

Y/N: okay! um how about tomorrow around 6 at the library?

— — —

Harry laughs dryly at her enthusiasm as he sends a plain thumbs up, the yellow emoji a stark contrast in the very one sided text conversation, and afterwards he heads out the small bedroom in his dorm and heads to the front door. He passes the various pictures of his roommate and his girlfriend and a couple of pictures showcasing his orange kitten, Delilah, in various moments. She was wrapped up in a soft towel from the day Harry brought her home, and other moments where he thought she looked pretty and decided to capture the moment.

All the pictures are neatly hung in a long cardboard frame, colorful tacks adding a pop of color to the otherwise boring wall of pictures. The small hallway leads to a basic living room, a simple gray futon sits alongside the cream colored wall with a modern artistic sketch hanging above it, a dark brown bookshelf holding all their movies and the very few books and textbooks they happen to own is placed next to the futon, and a small dresser underneath a decently sized tv.

In the corner of the living room area sits a small gray cat bed and Delilah lays there peacefully sleeping in a little ball, her tail twitching occasionally. The ends of Harry's lips begin to curl upwards at the sight as he slowly walks over to the small dresser designated just for her. He silently opens the top drawer and opens the small can containing her food. The smell quickly floods his nose and he grimaces as he walks over to her food bowl and pouring it in there, silently gagging as it squelches into the bowl.

He throws away the now empty can in the small trash can and grabs her water bowl walking over to the dresser once again and fills it with a small water bottle sitting in the top drawer. He sets it down beside the food one carefully because he doesn't feel like cleaning up water right now and walks back to the dresser. He opens the second one and grabs a few of her favorite toys and sets them under the coffee table in the living room, allowing her something to do while he's gone and turns on the tv. Quickly pulling up her favorite tv show - Animal Planet - he walks over to her and very gently rubs the top of her head. He coos at her softly to coax the sleepy kitten awake.

Delilah stretches and yawns as she opens her eyes, focusing on Harry crouching above her, she lets out a tired but happy meow as she nuzzles her face into Harry's hand.

"Good morning, sweet girl. I gotta get to school but you got everything set up for you, just how you like. I love you and I'll be back soon." He says with a small laugh as he gives the small kitten a couple extra pets and gets back up, stretching slightly as he heads to the door, making sure to grab his signature leather jacket from the futon as he opens the door and heads out.

— — —

It doesn't take him long to head to the campus thanks to his dorm being a short drive from the campus. He parks his car in an empty space nearest the school and he sits in the car after he turns it off. He watches her as she walks to the bike rack, her long hair flowing gently behind her as she walks due to the wind blowing. She's dressed in an olive green sweater and dark blue Levi pants that flare at the end, she'd pair it with some white Nike Air Forces, a medium sized white tote bag and a matching olive green thin belt, he can see the small shimmer of her jewelry shine when the sun hits it as she ties her bike to the small rack.

He turns the key to shut off his car and opens the door, slowly stepping outside the car as he puts on his jacket. He closes the door with a soft slam and locks it, the beep alerting the girl as she turns around, her hair briefly swishing in front of her face as she turns. He watches as she frowns in anticipation of a snarky remark but returns to normal when it doesn't happen. He slowly makes his way to the entrance, purposely avoiding eye contact with her as he grows closer. He hopes she gets the hint to leave him the hell alone, and wants to keep their interactions to an absolute minimum.

"Hey!" He hears her voice ring out from behind her but his pace doesn't falter, he actually starts walking just a tad bit faster in an attempt to get inside before she reaches him. He makes it to the top of the steps before he feels a soft hand grip his shoulder and a tug, signaling him to turn around. He slowly turns around, face deadpanned and he takes a deep breath.

"What?"

"Any place specific you want to meet in the library?" She asks softly and he shakes his head as he turns around swiftly and starts his journey into the school once again. He can feel her presence behind him and his frown begins to form.

He chooses to ignore her as they walk, the chatter of the other students in the hall filling their ears as they continue. One of Harry's friends, Alex, walks up to Harry with a big smile as he pays his shoulder and glares at Y/N.

"How you doin' Haz?" He asks and Harry's frown only deepens at the unwanted conversation.

"Not now Alex." He shakes his head as he heads to his locker. He can hear Alex scoff as he walks away but he can still feel her presence behind him.

He scoffs lightly as he gets to his locker, one ringed hand reaching up to twist the little knob to the correct numbers and opens the door. He quickly grabs a textbook and slams it shut and he walks away, leaving a hurt and confused Y/N standing at the locker.

— — —

She can't help but frown at Harry's more than usual grumpy behavior as she heads to her own locker, true enough she was the main reason why he's so grumpy but honestly how was she to know he’d still be sleeping? It’s not her fault that she just loves helping people! She should know better than to assume they'd be friends simply because she's tutoring him, but she assumed they'd at least be better than this. She hoped he would be somewhat tolerable, a very silly thought of hers because when is he ever tolerable? She doesn’t know how it came to be this way. She can remember a time where the two of them were cordial and even dared to say the best of friends, but then something changed and she wishes she knew what it was.

She wishes she could just go back in time and watch the two of them under a microscope to see what went wrong, to figure out why he hates her. She misses him terribly, but that’s kept locked away in a box of her feelings and emotions never to be seen again alongside her favorite childhood memories.

She huffs in frustration when she can't get the lock to open, her combination not seeming to work as she twists and twists. She swears it's the right one, so she tries once more and she's met with once again the lock not opening.

"Come on!" She huffs as she stares at the lock intently. Beginning to think that maybe she changed the lock combination, she tries a different sequence of the same numbers and after a couple of tries she finally hears the satisfying click as the lock opens.

She quickly grabs the textbooks for her first two classes and shuts it gently as she walks to her first class, her tote bag gently bouncing off her hip as she walks. She just barely makes it to her first class before the teacher closes the door, her hand pushing on the tall wooden door as she cries out 'wait please!' The door opens and she sees the teacher smile softly as he lets her in.

"Just in time Y/N, have a seat." He says and she nods silently, with her head down she quietly makes her way over to an empty seat towards the back of the class. Grabbing her notebook and a pen out of her bag, she begins to write down the title of the notes she's gonna be taking and pulls her assignment due from the front of the notebook as well.

— — —

Time seems to fly in front of her eyes, the day taking not nearly as long as it usually feels like as she gets released from her last class of the day. With a smile on her face, she plugs her earbuds in her phone as she walks through the halls, stopping briefly to answer any questions from her classmates and to wave goodbye to her teachers.

She spots Harry talking to a pretty brunette, one of more popular girls who also happens to be on the cheerleading team she thinks, her lips pulled back into a dazzling smile as she twirls her hair around her finger as she speaks. Hesitantly, she makes her way over and taps him on the shoulder, meekly saying 'excuse me' and she's greeted with a very nasty glare from the girl.

"Um, we're talking." The girl says with a frown on her face. Y/N can't help the flush of embarrassment that begins to heat her cheeks up as she looks down.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to remind Harry of the library. It's at six, if you can't make it or gonna be late, just let me know." Y/N's voice comes out quietly as she speaks, her hands subconsciously moving to her front as she begins to play with her fingers.

Harry lets out a very unenthusiastic 'uh huh' as his eyes never leave the brunette's and he begins to talk to her once more, completely ignoring the other girl behind him as the brunette smirks and plays with the collar of his t-shirt. When she realizes that he isn't paying attention, she frowns slightly before making her way out of the school building as music plays in her ears.

She mumbles curses to Harry under her breath as she unties her bike and sets the cord in her bag. Hopping on her bike, she begins her ride back to her apartment. She smiles as she passes the cars and families out and about, their joy and love radiating off of them making her smile and aw. As she continues biking, she makes a quick stop at her favorite flower shop, propping her bike against the side of the store and she quickly walks in. The smell of all the flowers welcome her warmly as well as the bright smile of the lady standing behind the counter.

"Y/N! So good to see you! How've you been?" She asks and Y/N smiles as she walks up to the counter.

"Hi Tameka! I'm good, how are you?" Y/N asks and Tameka responds with great enthusiasm as she starts telling the younger girl about her kids and how the store's been getting along.

Y/N loves coming to this flower shop because no matter how long she stays away, she's always greeted with a warm welcome, one that reminds her of her mother at a young age. The shop gives her a sense of family no matter what happens, and she's never been more grateful. After Tameka finishes rambling on about her life, she turns her attention to the younger girl as she props her head onto folded manicured hands and flashes her a warm smile.

"Here to get the usuals? Anything new to update me on chica?" Y/N shakes her head with a small laugh as she leans on the counter.

"Of course, you know I never stray. And no new updates unless you count having to tutor the boy who seems to hate my existence an update." She says and sighs, the thought of having to do so is a big damper on her happiness and a heavy weight on her heart — it’s not that she doesn’t want to tutor him, she just knows that it’ll be like pulling teeth with him. She’ll have to pry answers out of him and will more than likely be the worst tutoring session ever, she’ll be exhausted afterwards.

She can't help but to wonder how it'll go, will he be the same as he is in school? Is he gonna spend the whole time mocking her and poking fun (he most definitely will, she’s sure of it. He won’t turn down an opportunity to annoy her and get under her skin), or will he be kind and listen to her (maybe in another universe, some alternate reality where they’re cordial. She’s silly to even think this was a suggestion, she should know him by now), asking questions whenever he's confused? Will the session end in a screaming match as he tests her limits or will it be calm as he complies and agrees to her help.

As she pays for her flowers, she can't help but to ask herself those questions. She knows wondering won't help determine the outcome of the coming day, but she knows there's only one way to find out.

She makes her way home, her bouquet of flowers sitting neatly in her tote bag as she rides along. She takes pleasure in the feeling of the wind brushing against her skin and flowing through her hair as she pedals along. The sound of people chatting on the sidewalks and the sound of cars whirring by her and honking at others fill her ear and she just smiles. She enjoys the sound of her community while others might say that it’s too loud and there’s no peace in all of the noise, she says otherwise. She can’t imagine her city in silence, to not listen to the usual sound because it’s all she knows.

She makes it home and parks her bike beside her apartment, tying it up and making it inside the building. She heads down the short hall and to her door, unlocking it and walks inside and smiles at the sereneness of her own space. She locks the door behind her and sits down on the couch with her notebook and her favorite pen, thinking of the best way to carry out these sessions with Harry. What would be the best approach and everything to do with it. She wants to make sure that he understands that she’s not going to allow him to just walk all over her and cheat his way through.

She wants to actually help him, not just give him what he wants; she wants to give him what he needs and what he needs is someone to take time out of their day and work with him, cater the worksheets and lessons to how he learns best so he can actually learn the information. She can only hope for the best as she begins to write out a plan for the next few weeks, she just knows that she’s going to need all the luck dealing with Harry.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic #harry edward styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles one shot #harry styles fan fic #harry styles one direction #harrystyles #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles x fem!reader #— 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒

704 notes · View notes

wannaeatramyeon · 2 months ago

Text

Meeting Student!Gun Park for the First Time: Part 2

Please read Part 1 first! G/N. 4.6k. Remember when Gun wanted to get his GED? Well. Stranger to~ Masterlists

As far as first impressions go, yours went terribly. Gun can count on no hands the amount of people that have spoken to him like you did and lived to tell the tale.

Make no mistake, the sum total of which is zero. Zero spoke to him like that and lived to tell the tale.

It's like you have no manners and absolutely no sense of self-preservation.

But, he figures, he's finally doing his GED after the whole murderous stint and juvie and light dabbling in gang wars. Maiming a fellow classmate on the first day would leave an even worse first impression with the rest of the class than yours with him, therefore he should really try to behave himself.

Besides, he would never hear the end of it from Goo if he dropped out, or worse got kicked out, so he picked his battles and took your insults as best he could.

Somehow miraculously managed to hold back from reaching across the screen to give you a well deserved ass whooping when you asked him if he was on the verge of a mid-life crisis. He schooled his face and took a drag of his cigarette instead.

At least, if nothing else, you're entertaining.

You also reminded him that small talk was a thing when you asked what he liked to do for fun. He couldn't remember the last time anyone asked, if anyone even did, although you don't really make this sort of conversation in his line of work and it is hard for Gun to find time to make chit chat with someone as he's usually the one brutally assaulting them in a fight.

And he had such good intentions with enrolling in school again so why not tell you he likes gaming.

That's a perfectly Normal hobby, right?

Even as he says those words, they stick in his throat like he's confessing something shameful and it comes out strangled and strange.

He moves on to more familiar territory by reframing his bloodlust as training and martial arts, which also sounds very Normal to Gun's ears.

A few more things that he can barely remember are mentioned to present himself as a very Normal individual and he isn't embarrassed to admit to himself he's pleased with how this has gone.

After all, the majority of his working day is spent with Goo and Goo is, to put it politely, an unhinged dipshit, and their conversations usually also have that kind of vibe. Gun is aware enough to watch his tongue in this conversation with you, and the fact you haven't looked terrified or called the police can only work in his favour.

What piqued his curiosity most of all though, is your threat to kick his ass.

(On Tekken, but still.)

So much confidence in your own ability, so much faith in your skills.

(On Tekken, but still.)

Alas, that night he finds out it's misplaced and you have severely overestimated himself and/or underestimated him.

But still.

He remains curious about you.

You show absolutely no fear, no ulterior motive, no nothing, in the way you speak to him and seem to have latched on to him rather than anyone else in the class, and Gun is...

Charmed.

He finds you oddly endearing.

Then when he sees the back of your head as he makes his way into the classroom for the first time and decides to sit next to you, the way you blatantly check him out doesn't hurt either.

People ogling Gun isn't anything new, but what is new is how much he likes it from you.

He makes up his mind to keep his seat next to you. Even if your gaze does linger a moment too long on his hair and makes him wonder if he used enough gel on it when he styled it that morning.

And although you caught him doodling and insult his masterpieces repeatedly - you also balanced it out by helping him with Literature, which truth be told, he is extremely grateful for. He forgives your missteps and your teasing.

Over time, Gun finds that he likes your company. Traits that would be annoying as shit with other people he finds sweet with you, including your unrefined taste in coffee.

As a bonus, you also don't balk at the tidbits of his life he shares. In fact it should really be a little troubling how grey your morals are, how easily you take it in stride for someone that seems like a normal well-adjusted(ish) civilian.

All in all, this never happens. Ever.

Never has anyone held his attention like you do, and for him to test the waters like he has done.

Gun likes to think he has good judgement, takes very calculated risks. This, he decides, is worth pursuing. Exploring.

With not so much a leap of faith but maybe just a tiny hop, Gun opens up his home to you.

You think you're in love with Gun Park.

This realisation hits you at 5am, when you're lying in his bed and he has done the gentlemanly thing of taking the sofa. It hits you because only a few hours ago, he had pulled you into his lap, looked at you and held you so tenderly then didn't kiss you.

The fact that he hadn't kissed you, and you're in love with a very questionable person sends you into a mental crisis.

Fuck.

He's secretive enough, letting you in on various elements of his life and you manage to piece together that he can only be up to no good.

There's no shades of grey in his life, only copious amounts of crimson from bloodshed, and a twisted sense of morals and principles he lives by.

You know by now he hangs around far too much with someone called Goo, who sounds like the personification of a headache and annoys him to no end but also seems to be the only friend he has. Speaks too highly of a Charles that you know is shady despite never having met the guy. There's also an Eli that he mentions like he's the one that got away.

You can live with all of that and the questionable amount of hair product he uses.

What you are in fact struggling to get to grips with is:

This man lives in a junkyard. Like some kind of violent, sexy raccoon.

A voice in your head that sounds scarily like your mother, lectures you about prospects and picking a man with no future.

Well, for one - he's back in school.

See mom, you're wrong.

He also seems to do very well for himself despite literally living amongst trash (you handwave away his blood money and unscrupulous methods to earn said money) so that's another point for Gun.

And what sort of person, who lives between piles of scrap metal and discarded appliances, has such a luxurious bed.

You're sure the bedding thread count is in the thousands. Instead of researching the cure to cancer or how to travel faster than light, scientists have researched the comfiest mattress known to man and has created this that you're currently lying on.

So maybe this violent sexy raccoon is actually a prize.

Regardless.

You seem to have hitched yourself quite willingly to this wagon and now your biggest issue, that leaves you tossing and turning into the early hours of the morning, is still-

Why the fuck didn't he kiss you.

And how could he, after sharing such a sweet moment, push you off his lap and kick your ass on Tekken for 5 straight rounds.

What a bastard.

At some point you must have drifted off to sleep and you awake to the smell of deliciousness.

Something is being fried and you melt thinking your raccoon king is cooking breakfast for you. Who knew he was this sweet and thoughtful.

What is even better though, somewhat masked by the sizzling, is if you listen hard enough, you think Gun might even be humming. Even the perfect bed can't keep you from pressing your ear up against the bedroom door when you connect the dots that he is humming a popular K-Pop song that you have listened to on loop 50 times the week prior.

You yank open the door with force, "A-ha!" and point in his direction, gleeful at catching him doing something so un-Gun like.

Gun, in the middle of plating 2 omelettes, whips his head to you and stills, looking like a deer caught in headlights or a raccoon caught in headlights, rather.

You ask him, with a shit eating grin, if he's a big fan of the K-Pop group but it drops at his lack of reaction when he just shrugs and responds simply with a yes.

Damnit.

Of course you know it's not really anything to be ashamed of but it's so unexpected from Gun, that would it kill him to blush a little or act a little abashed? You expected something at least a little entertaining from his initial surprise, but you suppose anyone would act like that if a deranged house guest accosted them first thing in the morning after they so kindly made breakfast too.

As a consolation, after the let-down, you double take when you realise Gun had been cooking topless and remains topless this entire time.

In all his muscled glory. Pecs and abs and everything. Delicious broad shoulders and an enticing light trail of hair from below his belly button and stretching down, down, down into his sweatpants.

You gulp, trying to calm yourself down. You know you are staring so so obviously but you can't find it in yourself to look away.

Gun clears his throat as if to say my eyes are up here, and hands you a plate.

While you still have self control and before you outstay your welcome, you say bye to Gun after breakfast mentioning you have some errands to run.

It's a poor excuse but you didn't taste a bite of that omelette, brain too fixated on the man seated opposite and wondering if what he's hiding in his trousers matches the energy he gives off.

He offers to take you home and you insist on walking by yourself. You reason to yourself the fresh air after such a heady night and all the over excitement from this morning would do you good.

You say your goodbyes at his door, him leaning against the doorway, still unbearably tantalisingly shirtless and enough to distract you from the junkyard setting, with his arms folded and a smirk on his face as you stand there-

Standing and waiting and expecting.

You're pretty sure Gun wants to kiss you. There's a challenge in his eyes and you know he is teasing you.

The fact that you stared at him before like a slack-jawed moron also indicates full well what you would like him to do.

A goodbye kiss isn't too much to ask for (not that you're going to ask) but he continues to also lean and wait and smirk shirtlessly and god, this is the most awful hair-pulling frustrating game of chicken you have played.

For a moment you consider yanking him down and kissing him, hard and desperate, and making your way back inside to the most comfortable bed that has ever existed. For an even briefer moment you consider biting his pec and leaving a ring of teeth marks.

In the end, you can only muster "bye then," and to your dismay, your voice comes out whiny.

There's no hiding your disappointment.

Gun’s smirk grows wider at your tone and he relents and gives a peace offering in the form of a kiss on your cheek.

He pulls you into his body, arm wrapped around your waist and he dips down, grazes his lips featherlight to your cheek.

It's chaste. Impossibly tender and surprisingly sweet.

Damn.

You forget how to breathe and you feel like you're on fire as he murmurs bye into your ear. Later, you'll chastise yourself for letting Gun affect you like this with something so innocent.

You untangle from him and feel your legs wobble when you step off the porch and make your way back home.

Gun chuckles but you don't hear it.

You don't form a coherent thought again until that evening, when Gun beats you on Tekken and in a fit of rage and frustration, you finally break your controller.

To make things fair, Gun’s dislike of Literature is offset by how knowledgeable he is with Biology.

The human body, to be precise, and alarmingly so. Maybe serial killer levels of knowledge, with how much he knows about organs and muscles and tissues and everything in between.

He explains that it's useful for training, as if that's any explanation at all for his extensive knowledge. However, you've seen his body and heard enough about his past and yes, including his actual training, to realise that it does make sense in a way and you let it go.

Well.

Maybe you would have fought it a bit harder if you yourself was any good with biology but you're not. If he's great at it because he's a serial killer, then fortune favours the bold and you might as well take advantage of it.

Gun is a very very good teacher, which you did not predict and in a way you didn't expect.

His jaw is tense and the grip on the textbook tightens after you get the answer wrong for the 15th time and when you think he's about to whack you with said textbook, he closes his eyes and counts to ten.

When he opens them again, he tries another method with you. Then another. And another.

Truly, you did not think he had this sort of tolerance or patience.

He explains things simply and calmly (though you've noticed he has started to grit out his words). Unfortunately you still find all this theory hard to wrap your head around.

"Are you going to hit me?" You ask.

"Yes," Gun says though he doesn't. He looks more like he's going to ram his head through a wall. Neither happens and he continues to work through the textbook with you.

Hours later, it clicks.

You feel something of a genius even if Gun’s hair resembles a bird nest from the amount of time he has ran his fingers through in exasperation.

After finding out that you broke your controller, Gun buys you a new one immediately.

He's very generous and kind, you think, and it may be the first time in existence anyone has considered Gun as kind.

Until you realise he has other reasons for doing so.

That night, and for several nights after too, Gun is merciless when he KOs you. Each match is shorter than the previous.

You register this is payback for the biology stint. It's got to be.

Nevertheless, because you're the bigger person and you take the defeats on the chin, as thanks and in an almost mirror image of Gun repaying your Literature help, you suggest taking him out for a coffee.

Getting a coffee to-go and hand delivering it would be much easier, but you can't bring yourself to order an espresso for someone even if it is their drink of choice.

You take him to one of your favourite coffeehouses. Somewhere much less lavish than the one he frequents and much more agreeable to your meagre pockets although the coffee is just as good.

"Two espressos," Gun says at the counter.

"One," you cut in firmly, holding yourself back from gagging. If you have to pay for it, you won't be drinking that bitter sludge. You rattle off your usual: a monstrosity made with double-digit syrup pumps and whipped cream and Gun flinches in your periphery.

Despite your insistence, he beats you to the punch and pays for the order anyway. Not before adding a jab that your coffee, if you can even call it a coffee, is the worst thing he has ever had the misfortune to spend money on.

"Try it," you offer, when your drink is in your hand and Gun watches every sip with mounting horror.

"No," His mouth is pressed into a thin line and he looks like he has half a mind to knock the cup out of your hand. He refrains, clenches his knuckles and rests them on his knee.

He closes his eyes and counts to ten.

You watch him, heartily enjoying your sugary drink and sucking noisily on the straw. He twitches and starts counting from one again. You feel a surge of affection.

Without any other plans, both of you amble together through the quiet streets. You window-shop as Gun smokes next to you and attempts to buy everything that you set your eye on.

You tell him thanks but no thanks and continue to look at pretty trinkets and funky decor. In the glass reflection, you notice Gun fondly looking at you.

"Hi," you smile, turning towards him. He looks more handsome than ever in the sunlight. You don't even mind the amount of gel in his hair.

"Hey," he says, low and hushed. He steps towards you, leaving only a hairbreadth of air in between and tips your chin up to face him with his fingers.

You notice his pupils are blown wide, flickering down to your lips. Gun dips down at the same time you press up onto your tiptoes, and you feel his chest against yours, his other arm winding around your waist, breath fanning over your skin-

This is it, you think, finally.

This, sadly, is not it.

"GUN!" you hear a voice screeching. You both tear your attention from each other to the shrill noise.

A blonde guy in the loudest suit you have ever cast your eyes upon is waving manically in your direction.

"Do you know him?" you ask and Gun's lips are thinner than you have ever seen.

"No."

"GUN!" The blonde yells again and you raise an eyebrow at your companion.

His face looks pained as he tells you that is Goo Kim and when you ask if you both should go over and say hi, he snaps back absolutely not with a frown.

"Let's go," he says, lacing his fingers with yours and pulling you in the opposite direction. Behind you, you hear cackling and Gun hastens his footsteps as if being chased by a deranged spirit.

You don't see the blonde again for the rest of the day although Gun’s phone seems to be going off every other minute.

The moment you had is never quite recaptured. You can't bring yourself to mind too much though, as Gun never lets go of your hand.

And everytime he catches you smiling at your hand in his, he gives you a light squeeze and returns the smile.

If you thought school would be all cutesy and you would take turns in helping each other with topics you're stuck on, you're wrong.

Turns out, both you and Gun are equally bad at math.

You watch, face blank, at your screen as the teacher explains algebra. At least, you think that’s what the jumble of numbers and letters are because your ears refuse to make sense of the words.

You search the monitor for Gun to see how well he is faring and find him staring dead-eyed.

Not very, then.

In class, you see Gun's textbook with some attempt at notes in the margin before devolving into his lewd stick men doodles that he still insists are fighting stances.

"You shouldn't cover your page in smut. No wonder you're bad at this." You tease.

He doesn't look at you, doesn't rise to the bait. Simply rebukes, "Your book is blank and you're still shit."

"Asshole," you hiss and his dead eyed stare is replaced with a smirk.

As it happens, Gun can be very convincing when he wants to be.

A fellow student trails behind Gun in the library, and offers to help you and him out with your lack of mathematical comprehension.

You ignore that the student seems absolutely terrified and keeps giving fearful glances to Gun as he peers at them menacingly.

So what if the convincing involves some light threats of bodily harm or whatever Gun has so charmingly offered if that means you will pass. Didn’t you already establish that you have questionable morals? You’re too set in your ways and there's no point fighting it now.

Neither of you get any further after a few hours, and it doesn't help that the student gets more and more nervous each time you and Gun get a question wrong.

Explanations devolve into stammering and barely strung together sentences as if their life depends on you both understanding basic algebra.

They let out a petrified squeak when Gun snaps his fifth pen in half, noticing he has no more pens and may very well come for their neck.

Maybe he will.

"Leave." Gun commands, pinching his nose bridge when he realises this is futile and the student scarpers off.

"I hate this," You say, dejected, and you watch Gun close his eyes and quietly count to ten.

As it happens, Gun can be very resourceful too when he wants to be.

The following week, the teacher trails behind Gun to the library and offers to help you both out.

He seems equally afraid, eyes flickering over to Gun, and you choose not to focus on that, instead smiling brightly at his kindness.

The teacher, gripping the textbook white knuckled, breathes a sigh of relief hours later when both you and Gun start to answer the questions correctly and with accurate workings too.

In your mind, you have both learnt something and he has avoided an ass kicking so you're all winners here.

Nevermind the fact that Gun would have been the one handing out the ass kicking. There's no need to focus on such details.

From this distance, you find a figure chain smoking again. You’re now so familiar with his body language, with his mannerisms, that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it’s Gun and clearly there’s also something playing on his mind.

He sucks a cigarette down to the filter and lights up another one immediately after.

You worry about the poor state of his lungs and if he looks like this when he’s only 20, then mid-life will actually hit him hard. His body must be running on fumes. He really should cut down on the cigarettes and the caffeine and get a better night's sleep instead of staying up all night gaming.

Not that you’re one to talk.

Perhaps it’s due to how he’s on alert for your presence like you are to him, his eyes snap to yours the moment you start to make your way over.

“You ok?” you ask and he gives you a funny look. It’s the same look whenever you express interest in his well being, or any general interest in him at all, and you think poor guy.

“Fine,” he responds, finishing off another cigarette and flicking it onto the floor.

And another thing, he really shouldn’t litter.

You don’t hesitate to tell him so, and as your tongue unravels, you start to also mention the smoking and his health and how you’re worried about him. Yes he clearly works out but all the cigarettes and lack of sleep will take a toll on him eventually.

Gun’s eyebrows climb into his hairline at your words. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you notice that what was supposed to come across as caring is very much coming across as a lecture though you can’t seem to stop.

As you begin to mention the obscene amount of gel he wears in his hair, his expression turns from bemused to sour and he cuts you off.

“You can nag me at mine over Tekken.”

“I’m not nagging-” you start, and then you abruptly stop as your brain kicks into gear and it sinks in that he has invited you over to his again.

Oh right. His.

The junkyard.

At some point, you’ve forgotten that you’re in love with the King of Raccoons. That this guy willingly lives in a shack in the middle of, what you can only politely describe as, garbage, and you wonder how your life has come to this.

Gun is patient as he waits for your answer and his eyes are warm. It doesn’t sway you though. You want to counter with No. Why don’t you come to mine then you remember his beautiful bed. Yes you’re getting ahead of yourself but if there’s a chance you get to experience it again, sure. You will come to his raccoon den.

You agree and he gives you the softest smile you have ever seen.

“Shit,” you say, crestfallen and hanging limply.

“Shouldn’t you be used to losing by now?” comes Gun’s voice and you want to bounce the controller off his head.

“Shut up.”

“Your combinations are weak and poorly timed. You don’t understand how to use your characters or their advantages and you have no idea how to counter my moves.”

As the killing blow to your ego and pride, he adds, "You won that time because I let you."

A part of you already knew that yet you still stare at him agape at his audacity. Sitting, manspreading, on his armchair while he casually assassinates your skills.

“I’m not wrong.” He says with a smirk.

“Shut up,” you repeat, standing up.

“I can train you.”

“Shut up,” you stalk over to him.

“Or what?” He sits back to look up at you as you hover over him. Chin lifted defiantly and his eyes daring.

“This,” you snap, gripping him by the front of his shirt and pulling him towards you. You’re sick of losing and you’re sick of waiting.

You clash your lips together and feel Gun exhale sharply in surprise at your actions. He tenses, for a split second, before he tugs you into his lap and your legs straddle his thighs. His hand reaches under your top, sliding their way across your skin as you grind down.

“Wait,” he murmurs, pulling away, lips glossy and gazing at you half-lidded.

He leans back to look at you properly, removing his hand as you subconsciously chase his touch, then with gentle hands, he cups your face and grazes his thumb over your cheek.

The TV screen illuminates his features, light reflecting in his eyes and you find something you only saw an inkling of during that first night, but has grown strong and steady since.

Gun looks at you like he did then - soft, like you might break. Holds you the same way he had done - tender and precious.

Only this time, there’s a steeled resolve in his face as he presses your bodies together, capturing your lips against his once more and you melt into his embrace. He’s much more gentle than you were but there’s a hunger and quiet desperation as his tongue swipes over your lips and slips in your mouth.

Your fingers run through his hair, and you’re pleasantly surprised to find it soft. All this time there wasn’t too much gel at all.

Gun wakes up the next morning with you drooling into his collar bone.

You wake up after the best night sleep of your life - wrapped in Gun’s arms and in the most comfortable bed known to man.

#you people have ground me down. i never intended a part 2. I WAS DONE #lookism #lookism x reader #gun park #gun park x reader #park jonggun x reader #park jonggun #wannaeatramyeon

546 notes · View notes

bananayuyu · 3 months ago

Text

Cabin Fever [part 2]

Pairing: Yunho x f reader

Genre: fluff and smut

Word count: 9.7k

Summary: The third day of your trip brings a storm, and even more cramps. You try to navigate the day the best you can, but really you just need to be taken care of, in the way it matters most.

Warnings: MDNI, smut, fingering, period sex, use of a condom, reader has really bad cramps again, some mxm (Seonghwa and Hongjoong)

A/n: I have had such a fun time writing this part, thank you all for the response on part 1! I am falling in love with this cozy world and wish I could live in it for real. Thank you so much to the anon who requested a part 2! I hope you all enjoy <3

Taglist: @pautiny27 @kierraperkins3 @yoonjikim @luvbit3z @pancake-freckle

I'm definitely planning on continuing the series for a while so if you want to be tagged for upcoming parts, let me know!

You can read part 3 here!

You stretch over to find your phone, unhooking it from its charging cable. The light is dim through the window, the room looks almost hazy. Squinting at the screen, you see a missed text from Seonghwa asking if you're doing okay, sent an hour ago.

"It's almost 11:30, we should really get up," you yawn, poking Yunho in the ribs to get his attention. He has once again wrapped himself around you tightly, face buried in your hair, and you're not sure if he's even awake.

"No," he groans, his voice low and gravely. It send a shudder through you, and all of the feelings from last night surface again. You can already feel the pains starting in your lower abdomen, the muscles cramping. You wish it could be night already and he could be making you feel good again.

"We can't just stay in here all day," you say, much as you sort of want to. But you also don't want to waste a day of your time with all of your other friends. Yunho just groans, not wanting to agree with you but knowing you're right. He's just so asleep still, so in the haze of sleeping next to you. He really just wants to stay like this, forever.

"Okay, well, I really have to pee," you say, giggling, peeling yourself off of him. He lets out a small sound of disappointment but doesn't stop you. You turn around and see his tousled hair, his puffy, sleepy eyes. You lean down and place a quick kiss on his temple before making your way to the bathroom, another pad in hand.

The cramps hit you again when you're sat on the toilet, and you double over, feeling light-headed. It doesn't seem like you're bleeding quite as hard as yesterday but you still feel awful, despite all of the restful sleep you got. You gingerly clean yourself up, holding onto the counter as you stand, pausing for a moment so you don't pass out. You sigh, trying not to feel the frustration. But it's hard not to.

When you open the door you are met with Yunho, his messy hair now covered up by his hoodie, his eyes still very sleepy.

"Sorry for taking so long," you say, assuming he really needed to pee. You aren't paying attention, the cramps overwhelming you.

"Hey, look," he says as you start walking past. When you do finally look back you see that he's brought you pain meds and a glass of water. Your face softens immediately.

"Oh, thank you," you say, taking them immediately.

"Are they bad today?" he asks, a hand on your cheek. You just nod. "Go lay down then."

"I wanna hang out with everyone, though," you pout, looking at the floor.

"Well, go lay in the living room then," he suggests.

"Okay," you mumble, heading that way with your glass of water in hand. He watches you walk away, an obvious discomfort and weakness in your body, and it makes his chest hurt. When you were friends in high school he really only saw you on your good days, when you were feeling okay. It wasn't until living with you that he really saw the worst of everything, the truth of your health issues. You never spoke of them often, never truly explained it to him. Living together had forced you to, and when he showed himself to be genuinely good at caring for you, you'd let him in a bit more. He knew you didn't like the idea of people seeing you at your sickest. He never gave much thought to the idea when he was younger, that some people's bodies are wracked with issues from the start, that they never get to know what it's like to be able to rely on your body to carry you through everything. You were so young; though you were the same age as most of the rest of the friend group, you'd always been seen as the baby. He certainly always thought of you as small, in need of protection. He didn't want to tell you that, because he knew you'd hate the idea. It didn't help that you were smarter than most of them, when it came to the practical and academic aspects of life. You were far more mature in many ways. But they had the healthy bodies; they were the ones who were able to move out at eighteen, to become financially independent. It would take you many more years, and two very supportive friends to live with you, before you could move out.

When you make it to the living room you plop down next to Ari and San, snuggling under a blanket. The cabin was colder than you expected, the sky outside still dark.

"Has it been like that all morning?" you ask Ari, staring out the window.

"It was actually raining for a while earlier, it just stopped maybe thirty minutes ago."

"Oh really? No wonder I slept in so long," you reply, sighing into the warmth of your blanket.

"Are you doing okay?" she asks.

"Yeah, but I still feel like crap," you say, frowning. Sipping your water you try to relax, try to get your mind away from how terrible your lower abdomen feels.

"Do you need any pain meds?" she asks you, her face showing obvious concern. Even San is turned towards you and looking worried.

"No, no, I just took some. Thank you though," you respond, squeezing her hand. "I should probably eat something though, I'm starving."

"I think Seonghwa and Hongjoong are making some lunch, I'll go get you some," San replies, standing up.

"Oh, you don't have to," you start, taken aback by the kindness of this almost total stranger. But he walks that way anyway, not stopping at your words.

"He's so freaking nice, what the hell," you say to Ari.

"I know," she laughs, shaking her head. "I almost can't believe it's real sometimes."

"Men just aren't usually like that," you say, and right then Yunho crosses the room, making brief eye contact with you. He heads towards the kitchen, looking like his mind is set on something.

"The guys in our friend group are," she replies.

"Well, that's true. I guess I should say, straight men aren't usually like that, especially if they aren't romantically interested in you," you clarify. "At least not in my experience in the world, and I barely interact with men or go out in public."

"I know, the amount of horrifying behavior I saw at college is crazy. And even now still at my work. I know so many people tried to warn me to be careful around men when I was growing up, but I did not realize just how scary it would be to be in the adult world and have a uterus," she replies. She looks at you, earnestly; how nice it is to have another girl in your group, who understands what it is to exist in the world in your bodies.

"Uteruses should be banned," you say, placing a hand on your stomach. "This thing needs to get the hell out of my body."

Ari laughs, the bright sound raising your spirits. "I would have taken it out for you myself years ago, if I could," she laughs, resting her head on your shoulder.

"What just, reached up inside and like, pulled it out?" you laugh.

"Girl, your mind goes to the strangest places. Now I can't get that visual out of my head," she laughs, a hand coming to rest over her eyes.

"I wish I could do it myself," you reply, "just like-" you reach your hand down and spread your legs, miming the action; you both break into giggles.

"What was that?" Yunho asks as he sits down next to you, a cup of tea in hand. He holds it out towards you, careful to hand you the handle so you don't burn your hands.

"Y/n just being her usual self," Ari replied, still laughing. Yunho just looked confused, sipping at his own cup of coffee.

"I was showing her how I'd remove my uterus, if I could. I wish someone could just reach up in there and take it out," you clarify.

"You should make Yunho do it, he's got big hands," she says.

"Ari!" you shriek, crumpling into a heap of laughter with her. Yunho's ears go red, and he clears his throat to try to calm himself.

"You two are something else," he says, turning away, looking for anyone else to make conversation with.

"Wait, did Yunho make you that cup of tea?" Ari asked you, and at the mention of his name his attention stayed put.

"Yeah," you reply, not sure why she's interested. "He makes me and Hwa tea and coffee like all the time."

"That's sweet. See, we're so lucky to have these boys. He's the perfect example of a straight man who has no romantic interest in you, but still takes care of you."

You know she means it earnestly, from the way a small smile creeps onto her lips, making her eyes crinkle at the corners. But you and Yunho both stop dead in your tracks, your throats simultaneously going dry.

"Yeah, true," you say, trying to be normal. Like this morning, when Seonghwa found you in bed together. The words come out rough and you try to swallow, but it hurts and your eyes squeeze shut for a moment. You take another sip of your tea, trying to appear calm.

"What, Yunho, did I say something weird?" Ari asks, and you look over to see his stony face, his eyes looking almost distant. Something about it makes your heart drop, for a moment, and you don't know why. Something in you begs for him to act normal too, but you realize there's no point. No point in pretending like nothing happened, even if you don't know what it means.

"I need to tell you something," you whisper to Ari, your face just inches from her ear. She leans even closer, clearly excited by your tone. You drop your volume even lower, putting your hand over your mouth to block the sound from going anywhere else. "Last night he like, fingered me."

"What?!" she asks in a whisper, her eyes going wide with excitement.

"Shh, please keep your face normal," you beg her, knowing that isn't possibly going to happen. But you don't want everyone to find out this very second, you'd like it to stay between the two of you. Ari does her best to still her face, knowing you don't want to draw attention. At least it's fairly normal, for the two of you to share secrets. The boys have always respected when you two say something is just for your ears.

"Yeah I was like, hurting last night and he like, made me feel better," you whisper, you both breaking out into giggles.

"Girl," she says, clearly wanting you to continue.

"I'll tell you everything once there's not like twenty people in the room with us," you say, a goofy smile not leaving your face.

"Aww," she says poking your cheek, and you swat her hand away, jokingly rolling your eyes. Ari keeps looking between the two of you, observing the way his body seems drawn towards you even as he sits a bit away, his legs stretching out to meet yours. She has so many questions, seeing as you'd never mentioned having a crush on him. His crush on you had been obvious to her for a while, but she'd never really mentioned it. It always seemed that people in the group had crushes from time to time, due to everyone's closeness. But sometimes they passed, sometimes they came to nothing. It was one of the reasons your group of friends had stayed close for so long; no one really forced closeness or forced information out of one another. Sometimes she felt like it made you less close than you could be. But she knew it also meant no one felt stepped on or smothered.

***

After lunch was served the weather had cleared a bit, and Jongho suggested that everyone play a game of basketball out on the small court to the south of the cabin. Not one of you had plans for the day, and with the way the weather was behaving that was definitely a good thing. You and Ari laid on the couch together, barely overhearing the conversation unfolding. You knew even if you wanted to you couldn't go and play, and the warmth of the couch was a lifesaver against the damp coolness in the air. The rain was not unusual for the time of year, but you swore it never had been this cold during your cabin trips.

"Will you stay inside with me?" you asked her.

"Of course. I wouldn't leave you alone in here. Also, I don't really feel like getting hurt today. You know how competitive they all get," she laughs, holding up her arm and showing you a large cut on the underside.

"My god, what's that from?" you ask.

"Wooyoung pushed me when we were playing waterpolo by the falls, and I scraped my arm on one of the rocks."

"Of course it was him," you chuckle, taking a closer look. "Did you wash it out yesterday?"

"It's not really that deep, but yeah. I'm sure it'll heal quick. I just really don't feel like playing basketball on a wet, slick court."

"And it's so cold, I don't know why they feel like going outside."

"It's not that cold," she says, looking at you confused.

"Wait, really?" you ask. She shakes her head. "Ok well for some reason, I'm freezing."

"One sec," she says, getting up and taking a blanket from the other side of the bed. "Y/n is cold," she says to the group, pointing to you all curled up in your one blanket. Everyone grabs their remaining blankets and one by one, layer them on you.

"This is too much," you whine, but you can't deny you like the attention. You really appreciate the way they all joke around with you; it always makes you feel better.

When all of the boys headed out to play, you finally got a chance to tell Ari everything.

"Your periods are still that bad?" Ari asks you when you tell her how you were feeling the previous night. "You hardly ever mention it anymore."

"It's just, so normal at this point. I guess. I don't know, you know it isn't fun to talk about. Plus this one really has been extra bad. I haven't had one this bad in a while," you respond.

"Well I'm glad he was there to comfort you. You know you could have told everyone how you were feeling yesterday. You didn't have to pretend like you were fine at dinner."

"I don't know, Wooyoung's cousins are here and so is San, I don't really know any of them," you say.

"Let me assure you, San would not care. And I doubt Woo's cousins would either, I mean we've been around them before, they seem very kind. He wouldn't bring them around you if he thought they'd be weird about something as simple as that. I know Woo acts like he doesn't give a shit about anything, but he really cares about you. I overheard him asking Seonghwa this morning how you've been doing," she replies. You look at her tenderly, thankful she shared it with you. As much as you wish Wooyoung would just ask you, you know it's not his way. It warms your heart to know he cares.

"So, how long have you liked Yunho then?" she asks you.

"Dude, I literally don't know. I don't even know what I feel right now," you sigh, shaking your head at her. "I mean, he was really just helping ease my cramps, cause I basically begged him too. And I get fucking horny on my period, I don't know." You put your head in your hands. "I don't even know what words were coming out of my mouth last night."

"So is it just a sexual thing then?" she asks.

"I'm assuming that's how he feels, I mean he's never said anything to the contrary."

"No, I mean for you," she clarifies.

"I.. I don't know. I don't hook up with people, but he's like, one of my best friends, I-" you cut yourself off with a groan, head spinning. "I'm gonna develop feeling for him and he's not gonna feel the same and we live together and it's gonna be a fucking mess," you blurt out, your mind racing out of control.

"Y/n, that man loves you," Ari says, squeezing your shoulder.

"I know Ari, I'm not saying he'd be an asshole about it. But it would still be so awkward for me, and if you love someone platonically that doesn't just change overni-"

"No, he's in love with you," she cuts you off.

"He's said those words to you?" you ask her, incredulous.

"No, but it's obvious to anyone with eyes," she says. You squint questioningly in her direction, feeling like she's just saying what she thinks you want to hear. "Dude I'm serious, Seonghwa has told me about it, the way he is around you. If he's not in love with you then I don't know what it could be."

"He's dated like multiple people since we've known him though, that doesn't make sense," you reply.

"Not since moving in with you," she says. "Has he ever brought any girls over to hang out with? Or to hook up?"

"No," you say, head still spinning.

"That's not because of like, a house rule or something, right?"

"No, we talked about it, we're all okay with bringing people over. Hwa brings over guys sometimes. Well he did when we first moved in, not really this past year."

"But Yunho never has?" she asks again.

You shake your head. "That doesn't mean anything, Ari. He's barely even spoken to me this morning, anyway. He doesn't seem like he's in love. Seems like normal Yunho to me."

"He brought you tea," she says, smirking.

"Oh my god, he always does that," you say, rolling your eyes and also smiling. "I- I don't know how to feel."

"Would you do it again?" she asks. You nod. "Do you like, really really want to do it again?" she continues, making you laugh.

"Yeah," you say, hiding your face in your hands.

"Well, at least you know that. Don't stress about it," she says. "It can just be a fun little thing, it doesn't have to be life changing."

You sigh, soaking in her words. You know what she's saying is absolutely right; it's the kind of advice you'd probably be giving her if the tables were turned. But something about your night with Yunho meaning so little doesn't sit right with you.

"Can you please not tell anyone, not even San? For right now, I don't know what Yunho wants to say," you plead.

"Of course, you don't have to worry about that. I don't share things with San just cause he's my boyfriend, I don't think that's fair to my friends," she responds, hugging you.

"I'm so thankful you're here," you say, sighing comfortingly into her embrace.

"Me too. I love them all but they can be a lot," she says, and you both chuckle. Tucked into your layers of blankets you feel warm and cozy, and your chest feels lighter having told someone about your previous night.

***

Close to 3pm, the storm rolls back in to the area; the winds pick up, the clouds darken, and suddenly rain is pouring down. It sounds like the roof of the cabin is being repeatedly pelted with golfballs, the dull sound surprisingly loud. Suddenly all of the boys are sprinting back inside, their wet shoes squeaking on the tile of the kitchen floor. All of them are thoroughly soaked, their hair sticking to their foreheads, clothes stuck to their bodies. They tumble in one after the other, Wooyoung the last to make it in, and you hear his scream all the way from outside. When they finally get inside they all start undressing, their clothes heavy and cold.

"Didn't realize we were staying at a strip club," Ari says, making you laugh. You know they're just uncomfortable, but you can't help but stare at Yunho as he disrobes, his light blue shirt dripping on him as he heaves it over his head. You don't really see him shirtless like this, even though you live together. He's not one for walking around like that. You'd forgotten how broad he really was, how strong his shoulders are. As he goes to ring out his shirt in the sink you see his tricep flex, and the smooth muscles of his back as well. He's tall and lanky, but you'd forgotten just how muscular he was too.

"You're kind of gawking, just so you know," Ari whispers in your ear, making you jump.

"Oh my god, I'm gross," you groan, burrowing your head in her shoulder.

"No not gross, not gross at all. Fuck, every time San is shirtless I want him to fuck me immediately." You glance over at Ari's boyfriend, already anticipating the muscles you're about to see. You could tell even when he was clothed how built he was.

"How often is at the gym?" you ask.

"Basically every day. He can like, easily pick me up and throw me around. And I'm not exactly the lightest person in the world."

"If that's not everyone's dream," you say, giggling.

"Can't Yunho carry you?" she asks.

"Yeah but I'm basically like a sickly little worm, it's not that hard. Even Hwa can lift me," you laugh,

"Okay, well, he can still lift you. And how big is your height difference?"

You just smile at her question, knowing you are blushing.

"God, if we aren't the most simple of women," she laughs.

"No no, I'll have you know I'm very full of logic and feminism and I do not care about muscles, or height, or anything of the sort. Never in my wildest dreams have I thought about how tall he is in comparison to me and gotten all hot and bothered about it," you joke, your blush having moved to your cheeks too.

"So you have thought about him like that!" she exclaims.

"Keep it down!" you chide, when you see Seonghwa shoot a look over at the two of you.

"Sorry, sorry," she laughs, pouting at you. "What are you looking at?" she says to Seonghwa, who rolls his eyes.

***

After the boys had changed and dried off, Wooyoung insisted that everyone watched a scary movie. You were all stuck inside, and everyone had already spent the morning talking and catching up.

"'It matches the vibe of the storm," he said. "It'll be so fun," he laughed, smirking in your direction. He knew how you couldn't handle jump scares and didn't like gore. He promised you the movie he'd selected didn't have either.

"It's more like, a psychological thriller, you know? It's really fun. Set in a cabin in the woods too."

"Okay, fine," you replied, hoping he was telling the truth.

He was, in fact, lying. You found that out about twenty minutes later.

The loud bang made you jump, causing you to launch sideways and grab onto the closest thing to you. It happened to be Yunho's arm.

When everyone sat down, Yunho sat himself right next to you, but didn't say a word. Everyone was chatting, the room filled with chaos as they came down from the adrenaline rush the storm had caused. Ari got up to sit with San and help him dry off, and when Yunho saw you sitting alone he was almost thankful. He didn't know why, but everything Ari had said earlier made him feel almost jumpy. He had seen the two of you giggling and whispering to each other, and felt like something was happening that he didn't understand. When he approached you your face looked distant, and he almost worried you didn't want him there, that you would have preferred her. He sat with his arm around the back of the couch behind you. But when you didn't lean into him at all, didn't seem comfortable with it, he pulled it back down to his side.

"Woo, you promised me!" you whisper yelled after you jumped, your grip on Yunho so strong it almost hurt. You felt so embarrassed at how easily scared you were.

"That wasn't even a jump scare, just a loud sound," Yunho said, and the room chuckled. You frowned, pulling yourself away from him. You weren't sure why you were so sensitive, but what he said made you feel small. And not in a good way.

Everyone else's attention was back on the movie in a second, but Yunho couldn't stop looking at you and your sullen face.

"Hey, I'm sorry," he whispered, leaning ever so slightly towards you. "Come here," he said, moving his arm around your shoulders this time, gently pulling you towards him. You stuffed your head into his chest, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. You weren't sure if you even wanted his comfort. You completely tuned out the movie, closing your eyes. You mind raced with thoughts from the day, and you suddenly realized you hadn't had a chance to talk to Seonghwa. You had wanted to assure him of what was happening, because he lived with you both. You didn't want him worried that you and Yunho had been keeping something from him, sneaking around behind his back. But as you peaked around the room to find his face, you didn't see him anywhere. You felt confused, and exhausted, and suddenly realized how cold you were again. You tried to tuck yourself into the blankets more but it just wasn't enough, so finally you decided to go grab Yunho's hoodie from the library. Maybe one more layer would help.

You slowly crawl your way out of the room, careful not to block anyone's view of the TV. When you finally stand up you're at the edge of the very short hallway that leads to the library. As you stand you notice how dark the sky looks. This window faces out towards the fire pit, and sits where the cabin is directly under a few trees and your view is limited. Still, the view is beautiful. The rain has become more gentle now, and the soft sound soothes you as you look out across the land splattered with greenery. The plants, the trees, they're the reason you really like being out here. You hope that today's the last day you'll have to spend inside, nursing your body. Some movement in your periferral vision catches your eye, and you sweep your gaze back towards the fire pit and the ring of trees that surrounds it. Suddenly you realize why you couldn't find Seonghwa earlier.

Outside, on a lounging chair just to the left of the fire pit, Seonghwa and Hongjoong are kissing. They must have snuck out while the rest of you were occupied with the movie, you realize. You aren't sure how you missed them at first, but in the darkness of the storm and shadow of the trees they almost blended into the landscape. Seonghwa is sat against he back of the chair and Hongjoong is over him, a hand on Seonghwa's thigh. You see him move that hand to pull on Seonghwa's silky black hair, the kiss clearly passionate, heated. The rain patters down around them, but in the cover of the trees they don't look soaked. They certainly don't look bothered. You can't tell, really, from this far away. You shouldn't be trying to look that hard, anyway. You try to tell yourself that. But you're mesmerized, stuck to the spot. You feel overcome with how beautiful they both are.

Soon they're tugging at each other's shirts, and you can tell now from the way they take them off that they must pretty damp. In the struggle you see Hongjoong's muscular back and arms; Seonghwa's face is the picture of lust, his hands moving down quickly to reach inside Hongjoong's pants and start stroking him. They're kissing again, Seonghwa's lean chest heaving, Hongjoong grabbing his legs to wrap them around himself. Tangled together they look like a perfectly choreographed ballet, like they both know exactly where the other is headed. You see Hongjoong's hips start to buck, his mouth moving down to Seonghwa's ear, then neck, his iron grip on Seonghwa's thigh leaving a mark you can see all the way from the window. Seeing the red mark brings a heat to your cheeks; the image of your porcelain doll of a friend being marked up by such a muscular man is not something you thought you'd ever witness. Now that you have, you can't help but think they're perfect together. Suddenly Hongjoong is sitting back, his hands pulling on the band of Seonghwa's shorts and throwing them aside, and you see how hard Seonghwa is, his movements showing how obviously needy he is.

Fuck, I really should stop watching them, you think. You'd seen them both naked before, it's not like your friend group was uncomfortable with much. But this was obviously different, and the way your body was feeling while you witnessed it made you feel a confused and a little guilty. Still, you could not pull yourself away, as you saw Hongjoong lean down over Seonghwa and say something, and Seonghwa's lips curl up in a smile, his head turning to the side as he grabbed onto Hongjoong's arm. They looked so, so in love. With Seonghwa's legs spread Hongjoong reached down, his hand moving between his cheeks, moving in a way you could not make out from your distance. Seonghwa's head fell back in obvious pleasure, and his back arched slightly showing off his lean abdomen. Hongjoong moved his head down to suck on one of his nipples, making Hwa's back arch even further and his mouth fall open. He looked so completely content in such a vulnerable state, and it made your heart ache with happiness. In all of the conversations you'd had with him over the years, you knew he always felt so self-conscious in these situations. It was always shocking to you, given just how beautiful he was. He got propositioned out in public more than anyone in your group, and had to continually turn people down given the industry he worked in. But all of that attention felt uncomfortable to him, usually, and you knew that. To see him so unabashedly open with someone was a rare sight.

Hongjoong's hand moves up and then you see, a tiny glint of something metal in his hand. It must have been a plug Seonghwa had inside himself already. When had he put that in? It must have been after the game, so before the movie? When did he even have the time? You can't stop watching the way Hongjoong lines himself up, stroking a hand through Seonghwa's hair again, finally pushing himself in ever so slowly. The plug sits next to them on the lounging chair, and you swear the gem on the end twinkles at you. He starts thrusting slowly, kissing Seonghwa's cheek, the rain starting to pick up again. It all feels so cinematic, like it couldn't have been more perf-

"What are you looking at?" Yunho whispers into your ear, sliding up behind you. You jump, spinning away from the window and covering your eyes, your elbow hitting him in the ribs.

"Oh god, ow," he says, grabbing his side.

"You scared me," you pout, your head feeling full of molasses from all of the feelings you are having.

"I whispered," he replied. "Why are you so jumpy, are you okay? Why did you you leave the couch?"

"I was cold, I was gonna grab your hoodie. But then, the window, you know, it was pretty outside with the storm and stuff," you reply, averting your eyes.

"Seems like my hoodie is in danger of being re-homed," he replies. He's trying to joke around to lighten your mood, which is obviously not good at the moment. Your eyes on the floor make him worried, and you really don't seem yourself. Or rather, you seem like how you are when you aren't feeling well.

"Here, why don't we look out the window together?" he offers, turning you around to face it again, wrapping his arms around you to try to help you feel warm.

"Oh god, Yunho, no," you mumble as he turns you, and you start stepping out of his reach, mortified at what he's about to see. You feel his arms stretch out and his body begin to move with you, but then he halts.

"Oh, that's what you were looking at," he laughs under his breath, making you cringe. You hope he leaves it at that, that he doesn't say anything else. But soon he opens his mouth again. "Oh god, that's crazy," he says, and you look back to see his eyes wide and mouth hanging open. He looks almost horrified, and you wonder for a moment if he's even seeing what you think he's seeing, or if it's something else entirely. With a confused look on your face you scoot towards the window again, to catch a glimpse of whatever has him so shocked.

As soon as your eye line reaches Seonghwa and Hongjoong you too feel a shock, at just how hard Hongjoong is thrusting into him now, his hand on Seonghwa's neck. No longer do the two look like a balletic couple; instead one has clearly submitted to the other. You know from conversations with him that Seonghwa likes being taken like this, or at least has always liked the idea of it. He'd told you many times how he'd never really had any partners he trusted enough to go there with, but that he wished he could. You feel strangely proud of him, as you realize he'd had to have a difficult conversation with Hongjoong to make this happen.

"Yunho, stop," you say, tugging on his arm to pull him into the library with you.

"You saw what I saw, right?" he asks, his voice still low but sounding mildly concerned.

"Yeah, why?" you ask, seeing his hoodie on the corner of the pull out couch and making a bee line for it.

"You just, don't seem concerned," he says.

"Why would I be concerned?" you ask, your eyebrows knitted together. You really don't know why he'd have a problem with the two of them being together, but suddenly you worry there's something about Yunho that you didn't know.

"Hongjoong was being so aggressive with him," he says, voice even softer.

"Oh, Yunho, he-" you cut yourself off, not wanting to overshare. You're so thankful he doesn't have a problem with them for any other reason. "It's not really my place to share but, let's just say I know he likes that. I'm sure he asked for it."

"Well, I guess that makes a lot of sense," he laughs, his relief palpable. You cock your head to the side, looking confused. "Oh you know what I mean," he continues. "Hwa is so professional, pretty, put together all the time. Of course he likes being taken like a whore."

"Yunho, what the fuck," you say, shoving your face in his hoodie to try to cover up your laugh. You can't help finding what he said hilarious, and his read of Seonghwa is completely spot on. But you can't believe the words actually left his lips. "How can you say that about him?"

"You're the one who was standing and watching them for what, five whole minutes? I waited a while to come and check on you," he says, staring you down as you finally put on his hoodie, your hair a mess under the hood.

"God, please don't tell anyone," you groan into your hands. "It's weird, I know, I'm sorry. I just, they seem very compatible, and I'm happy Hwa has found someone like that. I don't know."

"It's not weird, I know you like watching that kind of stuff," he replies.

"I do not, what are you talking about?" you reply, your cheeks feeling warm again.

"Ok I know it's only one example, but remember our school trip senior year? When those people in the hotel across the street were fucking and they left their curtains wide open? You couldn't stop staring."

"I'm never living that down," you sigh.

"There's nothing wrong with doing that, at least I don't think so. If people are fucking in public then they know someone might see. They probably even like the idea," he says, chuckling.

"I'm not a big pervert who reads smut all the time and likes watching people fuck," you pout, hitting him on the arm.

"I know," he murmurs, pulling you into a hug. "I'd still love you if you were, though."

Love. Your heart stops at the word for a moment, and you don't know why. You'd said it to each other thousands, probably tens of thousands of times in the ten years you'd known him. But now it's making you feel like your heart has fallen into your stomach, and you might puke it up. You sag against Yunho, pains wracking through you again. You almost feel relief, at realizing the feeling was just your cramps.

"I don't feel good," you groan into his chest.

"I know, I could tell," he says, rubbing a hand along your back.

"How?" you ask, tensing in anticipation of his answer.

"Cause you're being kind of weird with me today," he sighs out, hugging you even more tightly.

"I'm sorry," you say, having known it would be his answer. It was the thing him and Seonghwa had helped you realize; no matter how much you could hide the physical symptoms of anything, the changes in your personality were always there when you weren't feeling well. And those two, knowing you as well as they did, always picked up on it.

"Do you want to go back out there? Or stay in here?" he asks you.

"I just want to lay in here for a bit, by myself," you say, not wanting to expose him any longer to your sour mood. "I'll come out for dinner, can you let me know when everyone's eating?"

"Of course," he says, lifting you up and placing you on your bed. In the comfort of the library everything feels so intimate, and you tug him down to come lay with you too, for just a second. Wrapped around each other you both sigh, Yunho nuzzling his face into your neck and leaving a gentle kiss. He feels overcome with concern, his heart wanting to stay next to you like this, forever. But you'd said you wanted to lay by yourself. He pulls himself up, tightening the strings of his hoodie slightly and pulling your blanket over your shoulders. As he leaves he walks gently, trying not to make any sound. In the hallway he glances briefly out the window, to see Seonghwa smiling, him and Hongjoong cuddled up together in a gentle embrace.

***

Dinner passes in a blur, your entire body feeling achey and your head starting to hurt. You'd taken your pills, drank water; there was nothing else you could do. When Yunho came to get you you'd almost declined, almost asked him to bring you food in bed. Your bleeding was definitely slowing down, but your body was feeling weaker today, and your mind was all over the place. Throughout dinner you felt like you might start crying at the smallest thing, and you clung onto Seonghwa to keep yourself from doing so. Everyone could tell you weren't feeling well, Yunho and Seonghwa rubbing your back as you sat cross legged at the large coffee table in the living room, slowly sipping at your soup. When Wooyoung brought you the bowl he had leaned down to hug you, seeing just how out of it you were.

"You don't have to stay out here with us if you don't feel well," Seonghwa said, running his hand through your hair. You leaned against him, slowly blinking to try and calm yourself.

"I don't think I can walk right now," you said, your legs hurting terribly.

"I can carry you," Yunho piped up, downing his last bite of food. "Do you want to go lay down again?"

You nodded your head, the light in the room feeling too bright despite how dim it was. You bring your hands up to cover your eyes.

"Ok, let me clean up our dishes and I'll take you to your bed," he said, standing up with your bowl and his plate in hand. When he returned he gently grabbed your hands, moving them around to the back of his neck, and then moving your legs out in front of you, scooped you up in one fluid motion. You rest your head on his chest, burying your face into his hoodie that you're still wearing.

"Feel better, we love you," Ari said, a twinkle in her eye as she watched Yunho carrying you from the room.

"I love you too," you respond weakly. You feel yourself fading, but suddenly your teeth feel too gross to sleep. "Wait, I need to brush my teeth," you tell Yunho, groaning in frustration.

"Okay, no worries," he says, his voice gentle. He walks you to the bathroom and sets you down on the toilet seat, prepping your toothbrush for you, then helps you stand to spit everything out when you're done. "Wait, I need to pee," you say, holding onto his arm tightly. He helps you sit down again, helps take off your pants and panties. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry you have to help me like this," you say, your words nearly slurring together. You're really sounding out of it, and he feels himself in that space he gets in, when you're so broken down and he's the one there to comfort you.

"Shh, it's okay," he says, brushing a tear that fell down your cheek.

"No it's not, I'm a fucking mess," you continue, more tears starting to fall. "Why can't I figure out my damn body, why does it always catch me so off guard? It must be so weird living with me," you cry, everything tumbling out in waves.

"Y/n, listen to me. Everything is okay, I'm gonna get you to bed and you'll feel better tomorrow, I promise. You are not weird to live with, you're wonderful to live with. Are you hearing me?" he asks, moving your face up to make eye contact with him. "How did I get so lucky to know you?"

His kind words only make you cry harder, and you can't stop even as you get up from the toilet and try to steady yourself. He opens the door and picks you up again, carrying you finally to your bed to lay down. In bed your body feels heavy, like you're made of lead. You haven't felt this tired in a while, and you think sleep might envelop you immediately. But the pain radiating down your thighs and up through your stomach is too bad, and you toss and turn, unable to relax as Yunho readies himself for bed.

"Y/n, what do you need?" he asks, seeing your constant movements and pained expression.

"My legs to stop hurting," you mumble. Without even opening your eyes you raise your arms out to grab at him, even though he isn't right there. Your body is moving desperately again, and something about being with him in this room makes you loose all inhibitions. "Please make them stop hurting Yuyu," you plead.

"What would help, baby?" he asks, his body feeling electric. He moves over so you can grab him; he'll follow any request you have, do anything for you.

"Touch me, again, please," you beg, your thighs and pussy aching. Yunho again grabs a towel for you, gently placing it down on your bed and smoothing it out, lifting your hips to move you onto it. You keep making little sounds of desperation, unable to stop yourself. 'I know, I know, just relax baby,' he whispers to you, watching the way your face softens at the pet name. Soon your lower half is entirely naked, and he's massaging your legs, gently brushing past your cunt a few times, making you mewl from neediness. He wants to make you feel better but he also likes seeing you like this, likes hearing you beg for him. He wasn't prepared last night for what it did to him, and he thinks he's probably already addicted to that feeling.

Finally he slowly pushes a finger in, making you moan and sigh, the relief instant. Your reaching out to pull at his face, pulling him in to kiss him hard, your breath mixing as you open your mouth to slide your tongue across his. You moan at the feeling, his tongue wet and hot, making your clit throb. 'More,' you plead, your body feeling even more opened up than the previous night, even more ready to take everything he can give. He slowly adds a second digit, not wanting to hurt you, but he can tell your desperation is high and you're needing to be well and truly fucked. 'More, more,' you almost cry, your cunt clenching hard onto his long fingers, your hips rocking to match his movements. He inserts another finger, moving slowly again as to not hurt you. Desperately you claw at his back, hands reaching underneath his shirt, leaving marks in their wake. Yunho groans at the feeling, his own cock throbbing at how needy and wet you are. 'Faster, please,' you beg. The little sounds you let out are making him harder and harder; he starts rubbing himself against your leg as he fucks you with his fingers, his cock so hard it's starting to feel like torture.

"More, please Yuyu," you beg again, tears forming in your eyes from how good it all feels.

"More fingers? You feel so tight baby," he asks you, barely able to move his hand with how hard you're clenching down on him.

"No, need you inside me," you babble, feeling how hard he is against your leg. Yunho slows his movements a bit, propping himself up on his elbow to talk to you. He wants nothing more than to fuck you right then, but there's just one problem.

"Baby, I didn't bring any condoms with me," he huffs out, his frustration obvious.

"You should have," you whine, turning your face away from him but still moving your hips against his hand.

"How was I supposed to know this was gonna happen?" he asks, laughing.

You just whine again, eyes even more teary now at the thought that you might not get what you want, and you move your hands up to cover your face. Yunho stops his movements when he sees your disappointed face, sitting himself up to look down at you. He takes his free hand and gently brushes a hair out of your face.

"You really need me to fuck you right now?" he asks, earnestly. You nod your head, looking at him through the gaps between your fingers, your lips in a pout. Yunho groans and throws his head back, your sweet and needy face making him want to do every dirty thing he can think of. "Okay, I'll be right back," he says, slowly pulling out of you. You whine in disappointment, your pussy feeling devastatingly empty. "Just sit tight for a few minutes, I'll be right back," he says, kissing your forehead.

After cleaning off his hand Yunho walks through the cabin, trying hard to go unnoticed as he passes through the living room to the master bedroom. Everyone still seems to be awake except Hongjoong and Seonghwa who lay cuddled on a couch together; Wooyoung and his cousin Yeosang are playing what appears to be a very heated card game of some kind, while the other boys watch or scroll their phones, everyone clearly winding down for the night. He's thankful to not see Ari or San present; they must be in their bedroom as he'd hoped. His heart races from how potentially awkward this interaction could be, but he feels like he's on autopilot and there's no possibility of turning back. Not when you had begged him like that, and looked at him the way you did. There was no way he wouldn't find some sort of solution to his problem.

He knocks on the door gently, hoping he's not disturbing a private moment between the two.

"Yeah?" he hears Ari ask, sounding sleepy.

"It's Yunho, can I come in for just a sec?" he asks, trying to sound casual. He doesn't want to raise any alarm bells for them, or for any of the boys in the living room who might be overhearing. And if it had just been Ari, or one of the other friends he'd known for so long it might not feel too awkward. But there are three new people on the trip this year, and he isn't sure how comfortable they would be.

"Yeah, come in," she responds. Yunho turns the door handle slowly, hoping to avoid making any loud noise. Slowly pushing open the door, he spots San in the chair in the corner, reading over something on his laptop in front of him.

"Hey, sorry this is, well, random. Do you guys happen to have a, uh, condom I could borrow?" He spits it out, not wanting to waste a second.

"Oh, yeah, uh, let me see what I've got," San replies, closing his laptop and setting it on the bed before unzipping a small pocket in his suitcase. "Here just take this box, I brought two with me," he responds.

"Are you sure?" Yunho asks. He's frankly taken aback by how casual San is being about this, and by his generosity on top of it all.

"Yeah, of course. I've got plenty and I'm glad you're asking. It's always better to be safe," he responds, a genuine smile on his face.

"Be careful with her," Ari adds, unable to stop herself. "She's very fragile."

"I'm not going to hurt her, you know that," he replies, looking at her almost coldly. He feels slightly offended at the idea that she thinks it's a possibility, after all of the years she'd known him, seen him taking care of you.

"I know. I just had to say it, she needs all the protecting she can get," she says, remembering the state you were in during dinner. "I'm sorry if that was rude. I'm- I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to ask us," she finishes, hoping she didn't cross some sort of line with him.

"She's very capable of asking for what she needs," Yunho replies, wanting to stick up for you. But his face is soft, he isn't mad.

"Which is, that?" Ari gestures at the box of condoms in his hand, trying to hold back laughter.

"Okay, that's enough," Yunho laughs, looking away from her towards the door. "Thank you both, sorry if I made that weird."

Out the door he makes his way through the living room, trying to hide the box under the hem of his shirt. Mingi is the only one who glances up to see him, registering the shape of the box underneath his shirt. He's pretty sure he knows what it is, and he smirks to himself, too tired to say anything about it. But he's happy his friend is finally getting what he's wanted.

"I'm back," Yunho whispers when he reenters the room, your face and body awash in the gentle white light from the moon. He makes quick work of opening the box, removing one condom and throwing it on the bed. In a second he's on you, peppering your face with kisses, moving his hands underneath your shirt to pull it off.

"I'm so bloated," you say, breathless.

"I need to see you," he responds, not giving you any room to keep talking about yourself that way. You tug on his shirt as well and he reaches up, pulling it off and throwing it on the floor. In the moonlight he looks pale, his long torso perfectly shaped and beautifully lean. You bring a hand up to stroke along his stomach, feeling the strong muscles underneath his skin, brushing across a small happy trail going down from his belly button into his pants. You tug on his pants too, your neediness having only grown in the few minutes he was gone. The idea of laying stark naked in front of anyone, especially in your bloated, sickly state would normally make you shudder, but in this moment you feel free, ready to take anything. He moves down to kiss you again, passionately, his tongue forcing you to open your mouth wide, his hands possessively grabbing you. Him kissing down your neck has you moaning, nearly writhing underneath him. He moves up to whisper to you, biting your earlobe gently and making you moan louder.

"You're so perfect," he whispers, the words cascading down you like a soft warm rain, any worry you had completely melting away. You tug at his pants again, helping him move them down and finally, completely off. Quickly he rolls on the condom; carefully he lines himself up with your entrance, moving his stiff cock up and down our slit, already feeling how warm and wet and ready you are. Finally he presses in, achingly slowly, until he's fully seated inside of you, the muscles of your cunt being deliciously stretched in a way they never have before.

He's big to be sure, clearly just the perfect size, stretching you just the way your body needed. Slowly he pulls out, then soothingly pushes himself back in, his cock hitting every perfect place inside you. Your mouth falls open at the feeling; you've never felt so full, so complete. He moves a hand down to your hip, anchoring himself so he can start a slow rhythm, his head buzzing with how good it all feels.

"Baby, you're so tight, fuck," he says as he tries to find a consistent pace. "Does that feel good?" he asks, eyes not leaving your face.

"Yes, yes, fuck, Yunho," you mumble, not able to form a coherent sentence.

"Relax for me then, you're so tight I can barely move," he says, trying to find the perfect angle to make your body completely give in. Quickly he readjusts himself, moving his knee to lower his angle, adding more strength to his movement. You moan, clearly feeling even better than before, so he knows he needs to lower the angle even more. "Baby, lift your hips for me," he says, grabbing a pillow from beside you to move underneath your lower back. Once you're situated he kisses you again, acutely aware of just how surrendered you are to him, words no longer forming on your lips. Slowly he adjusts his knee again, his hand still on your hip anchoring you, and he begins fucking you again from his new angle.

The immense pleasure is immediate, your back arching and your head rolling back, your moans so loud you're probably being heard throughout the rest of the cabin. But Yunho doesn't care, he's not thinking about that. All he's thinking about is the way he feels your pussy pull him in even more, your hips and thighs finally relaxing some, your whole body reacting to his change in movement.

"Shit, there you go," he praises you, feeling your legs wrap around his back, pulling him in. He's been so careful with you, so focused on not hurting you, but he can tell you need more, so he starts fucking you harder, his face nuzzling in your hair to take in everything he loves about you. He can feel the muscles of your pussy start to clench again, but it's different this time; the flutter against his cock drives him crazy, making him thrust into you even harder. Soon he feels the muscles clenching hard, your moans reaching their peak, your hands a vice grip on his arm and back.

"Good girl, let yourself come," he coos, holding you as close to him as he can, kissing your cheek and nose. It's the most heated moment, he feels himself about to come undone too, but suddenly he's overcome with fondness, a warmth flowing through his chest, making him feel emotional.

"Fuck, I love you." The words tumble out of him without warning and your own chest warms, just as your orgasm starts blooming through you, your legs shaking as Yunho continues to fuck you. You're moaning and mewling, unable to say a single actual word, but you wish you could tell him just how perfect everything is, how you haven't came like that, ever. In the heat of the moment everything felt right, and to hear him say something so sweet just as you reached your climax made it all feel even better. His tight grip on you, the way he's nuzzled into your body, it makes you feel safe and grounded and so fucking horny.

Yunho comes just after you do, his thrusts becoming inconsistent, his body going taught and then absolutely limp on top of you. You both breath deeply, your chests heaving in the quiet coolness of the room. You wish you could bottle this feeling, the way your body is limp and buzzing with pleasure, his weight on top of you making your usually busy brain filled with nothing but the feeling of him. It feels peaceful, almost spiritual. You both rest for a few minutes, not moving a muscle, except when Yunho reaches over finally to kiss you again, making you giggle.

"How are you feeling?' he asks, still not daring to move.

"So good," you slur out, a dopey smile spreading across your face.

"Good," he replies, wrapping himself around you like he loves to do. "Can I pull out of you?" he asks.

"Mhmm," you respond, moving your legs to allow him to move. He cleans you up and helps you redress, stopping every few seconds to kiss you again, tickling you too when he realizes you're in the mood for it. It takes a while for you to come back to yourself, your mind so foggy from everything that had happened. But finally, once he'd gotten you both totally ready for sleep and wrapped himself up behind you, you found you could actually speak.

"I love you too," you whisper, squeezing his hand that rests on your belly. He just cuddles you closer, letting out a huge sigh of relief.

#ateez x reader #yunho x reader #yunho smut #ateez yunho #ateez smut

471 notes · View notes

lustspren · 10 months ago

Text

Cool With You ft Danielle.

length: 12.8k words✦

Danielle & Male Reader

genres: cheesy/bit cringe lmao (i’m so sorry, it was necessary for the plot, I promise), fluffy, oral sex, hard sex, facetime sex, creampie, blowjob, anal

✦✧✦✧✦✧

"Girls, I think you should at least play the game if we're going to do this," Hanni said, sitting on the couch, "I mean, Riot hired us for this, and I think it would be appropriate."

Danielle immediately turned to look at Hanni, not wanting to say anything yet as she was turning the idea over in her head. Being from Australia she never grew up with that game, but she knew perfectly well that there in Korea it was a national phenomenon, and that they even had their own exclusive server. Part of this reputation around the video game was due to Faker, a player that anyone under 30 years old knew either by name or by sight. She wasn't exactly a fan of multiplayer video games, or even video games in general since she was an outdoors girl, so she kept quiet at first.

"And where are we supposed to do that?" Minji asked, eating some Pringles, "there are only two computers at home."

"Oh come on, we can ask for three more!" Hanni exclaimed, "I think we deserve it, don't we?"

"Well, I'll see what I can do," Minji sighed, and then looked at the others, "are you all in?"

"I wouldn't mind," Kitten said, shrugging.

"Yeah! It'll be fun!" Big Baby agreed, "what do you say, Dani?" They all looked at her.

"Ugh, do I really have to?" Danielle asked, not very attracted to the idea but not completely against it either. She liked spending time with her unnies, no matter what way.

"Oh come on! Pleeeaaaase!" Hanni pleaded with her hands clasped in request, "I promise you'll like it!" Dani made a small silence, looking at all of them.

"My god, fine!" she finally accepted, "but I demand your patience with me, okay? I can count on one hand the number of times I have touched a computer in my life."

"Yaaaaay!" Hanni clapped excitedly, "don't worry, it's very easy!"

4 days later. NewJeans girls already recorded Gods.

"Alright girls, I'll go to the top lane," Hanni said in front of the computer. All the others were sitting on their own, one next to the other, "Minji, you should go jungle, it's a selfish and arrogant role, just like you!"

"Then it's perfect, yes," Minji nodded.

"Big Baby, you go to the mid lane, there are champions that could be a lot of fun for you, and you would be a fundamental piece," Hanni told her, and she nodded.

"As for you two," Hanni looked at Dani and Kitten, "you are literally the perfect duo, I don't really know who should go ADC or who should go support, discuss it between yourselves."

"Well, support sounds like the easiest," Dani said, looking at Kitten, who always seemed indifferent to anything.

"Does that mean I'm in charge?" she asked, looking at the screen.

"I don't want to be, so yeah," Dani shrugged, and at that moment Hanni hit the find match button.

As was common for people new to League of Legends, Dani was completely overwhelmed and stressed by the huge amount of things that the game's tutorial never explains to you. Lots of different champions, runes, objectives, farming, crucial areas of the map, etc. Her head was hurting, but after a few games she started to feel more comfortable with her role, and she was especially prone to playing Leona.

At first, Dani only accepted the proposal because she did not like to contradict and argue over something like that. In fact, she considered Hanni's idea somewhat unnecessary and would not be at all transcendental in her life. But the unthinkable happened for her. She began to enjoy the game, and even played it during her free time. She usually always did it with Kitten, but many times she also did it alone. The most attractive thing for her was the anonymity that the game provided her, there no one treated her differently because of who she was, many insulted her, others treated her disrespectfully, and despite not being pleasant, she liked that, it was like a way to put her feet on the ground while having fun.

Months had passed since they recorded Gods, and the group continued on their journey of activities here and there, always busy and always in the public eye, but Dani never stopped playing, she even dedicated herself to watching the start of the Worlds, and especially rooting for T1 and the Korean teams.

When the final phase of the Worlds was approaching and the girls were preparing for their stage during the opening ceremony, they were informed that the day before there would be an event where celebrities and fans were going to be able to have a kind of meet & greet with fun activities involved. It was explained to them that one of the activities consisted of playing games with mixed teams of celebrities and idols, and they all immediately accepted the idea.

--------------------------------------------

You almost lost your shit when you got that damn email. You were jumping around like an idiot all over your room, dancing to the rhythm of a goofy ass techno song that just happened to be playing on your Spotify. You had won the fucking sweepstake to play in the celebrity matches, and there was no way you were going to take it in at that moment.

When your euphoria passed you sat down in your desk chair and sank into the seat as you stared at the email open on the screen, turning it over and over in your head since you still couldn't believe it. The list of celebrities was quite extensive, and it wasn't just Korean artists, there were also Western artists like Tobi Lou or Cal Scruby, but you only had one group in your mind, NewJeans, and you couldn't do anything but hope for play with any of them.

The big day finally arrived, and you were thankful that your T1 jersey with Gumayusi's name on it arrived just in time. You checked your appearance in the bathroom mirror, not wanting to get too meticulous so as not to go to the event with worries on your mind. Being a casual perfume enjoyer you had a few options to choose from, but you opted for something mild, Ralph Lauren's Polo Blue, always good for any time of year and always useful for conveying good vibes. Once you were ready, you left the house.

The excitement and nerves made you arrive at the place much earlier than planned, but luckily you were able to take advantage of this. You walked around the arena calmly, admiring each cosplay and asking for photos with all your favorites. You also visited every possible stand, buying merch from several of these and putting it in your backpack.

When the time came, you immediately went to the place indicated in the email for the sweepstake winners, a large room that served as a waiting room near the stage. Upon checking in you were bombarded with a series of rules that were more than expected, no touching unless prompted by the celebrity, no request for personal contact and the sort of things you might expect at an event of that nature. They told all the winners that you would be called by your summoner names when it was your time to play, and that they would be alternating between celebrity and winner. They also told you that you were all going to play the roles you signed up for, so they gave you a bracelet that said 'ADC'. Finally, the two representatives told you to have a good time and left you all alone in the room.

All names were being called, and your excitement only grew inside you as you realized that your NewJeans bias hadn't been called yet. Last game, and you already knew that by discard you were going to play against, or with Danielle. Minji and Hanni had already been called previously, so you already knew who was going to be there.

The teams began to organize, and you considered yourself the luckiest guy in the world when you realized that Danielle was going to be your support. They took you to the stage, and there she was, as radiant and spectacular as always. She was wearing a black turtleneck sweater, a short skirt of the same color, and high platform leather boots. Her beautiful curly hair with two adorable pigtails on the back of her head. When you approached her a big smile formed on her face, and you were immediately stunned by her beauty.

"Hi! I'm Danielle," she introduced herself, extending a hand to you, you shook it, and you both bowed, "you must be… Recon, right?"

"Yup," you nodded with a smile, "oh god, it's a great pleasure to meet you, seriously, I admire you guys a lot."

"Awww, thank you very much!" She bowed again, "Let's have fun, okay?"

"Sure!" At that moment you were told to sit down, and you were in champion selection in a matter of seconds, "Alright, what kind of supports do you like to play?" you asked, nervous as shit since there were lots of people watching you.

"Well, I always play Leona, that doesn't vary much," she told you over the discord voice channel.

"Alright, you like engage supports from what I see," you said, banning Morgana since she was her main counter, "I'll play Samira, okay? She's the best complement for Leona."

"Whatever you say, you're the expert here!"

Once the game started your mentality became completely different, to the level of completely forgetting where you were and who you were playing with. Maybe that was your good trick. You were the main shotcaller of your team, always attentive to the map and the position of the enemies to dictate plays and engage based on it. Kitten was the opposing ADC, so Danielle was constantly giving you data on how she played or what her tendencies were.

"Let's fight! She's alone!" she told you, however, you noticed due to the lack of vision that it was a bait, and that either the jungler or the opposing mid laner were waiting in a bush.

"Stop! Don't go!" You tried to warn her, however it was too late. She engaged, the enemy jungler came out of the bush and took the kill, "Ugh, you have to listen to me first!" you exclaimed, not upset but as a scold for her.

"Ahh! Sorry!" she apologized, "I'll let you make the decisions, I'll be all ears!"

"You can't engage in a situation like that," you said seriously, pushing out one last wave before recalling, "you had no vision of anything at all, just her, you fell right into her bait, oh, and on top of that you had no flash, it was an easy kill for them."

"That makes sense…" she made a small silence, perhaps processing the information, "okay, big mistake."

From that moment on, Danielle let herself be carried around by you, and you began to treat her like you could perfectly treat any random Solo Q support. You didn't think about the consequences at that moment, but what you also didn't know was that Danielle was not only impressed by your mechanical level and your knowledge of the game, but also by the fact that you were not conditioned by who she was, you treated her like any other ordinary person.

"Their jungler is dead!" you warned, "we can baron, quick!" Everyone listened to you, and quickly went to the baron pit, "if they come to defend it they are dead, we have much more damage," you take the baron in a matter of seconds, the other team had been intelligent and had not gone to fight.

"Jinx and Orianna don't have flash! We can engage!" Danielle said, and you nodded in satisfaction since you weren't aware of it.

"Alright, ulti ulti ulti!" you exclaimed. Dani casted her ulti, which only hit Jinx, but you flashed forward and started the whole fight. Orianna tried to throw her sphere at you, but you blocked it with your W and killed Jinx without using your ulti. Dani also flashed, and stunned Orianna before the entire opposing team arrived, that was when you cast your R, and with the help of your entire team, you won the team fight with a triple kill of yours.

"Niceeeeeee!" Dani shouted excitedly as you knocked down the nexus towers.

"Holy fuck very good job Dani!" you shouted back, along with all your team members. You threw the nexus, and you won the game.

There was a small ceremony for the winners when all the games were finally over. They gave you all official Worlds 2023 merchandise and figures of your choice. You chose one from Kai'Sa. All the celebrities and other people were already getting off the stage, that was when Dani passed by you, she took your wrist and left a piece of paper in your hand before getting off.

''Add me. I would love to play with you again in the future. It was a lot of fun!" the note said, and as a signature it had her summoner's name.

You wanted to turn around and thank her, but she had already gotten out and was heading towards her dressing room, leaving you completely stunned and unable to believe that she had actually done that. You quickly put the note in your pocket, preventing anyone else from seeing it. You got off the stage, and when you picked up all your things you drove back home.

------------------------------------------

The first thing you did when you got home was rush to your room, turn on the PC and enter League to add Danielle. Upon verifying that she had not given you a fake summoner name and that it was real, you sent her the request. You sat there for a while, knowing that she had probably just done that as a polite gesture and that she most likely wasn't going to actually add you. About ten minutes passed, and you got up to go to take a bath.

The weeks passed and she never accepted your friend request, but you didn't let that discourage you since it was what you most expected would happen. During those weeks you continued with your daily life, scheduling coaching sessions with some clients while trying to reach Grandmaster in Solo Q. League was your comfort game, one of the few things you were really good at, and every time you entered a game you felt like a fish in water.

More days, and you were already starting to get off the boat. You no longer thought it was possible in any way that Dani would add you, but one day, without even thinking about it, you logged into League and found that you had a new friend. It was none other than Danielle Marsh herself, or 'MermaidMermaid', as her summoner's name said. You immediately cleared absolutely all the agendas you had pending for that day, and after going through an anxiety crisis you sat down to invite her to a game.

--------------------------------------

Danielle didn't expect to have so much fun that day, but there she was, buried in the seat of the VAN and looking out the window while she couldn't get that guy who played with her out of her head. Not only was the guy cute and kind, but he had treated her like a normal person, something no one had ever done knowing who she was. It always happened with strangers online, but in person? That was unthinkable. She was Danielle Marsh from NewJeans, and absolutely everyone had to be nice and treat her like a goddess. He didn't care about that.

He always gave her compliments and congratulated her when she did something well during the game, but he also yelled at her and scolded her when she did something stupid, and despite all that, he always remained calm to lead his teammates to make the best decisions and win. It seemed like something quite basic, but for a celebrity who was already fed up with everyone being fake and hypocritical towards her, it was something very noteworthy, which is why she gave him her summoner name; she wanted someone new to play with, someone who wouldn't treat her like a spoiled baby and would make her really improve at the game while being real towards her.

However, she was still a celebrity, and that meant that she had to continue fulfilling her endless activities with the group. She was quite frustrated since she had almost no window of free time to sit at the computer, and also worried that the guy would think that she was just lying and that she really had no intention of adding him. Nothing could be further from the truth, she was impatient to have free time and accept the friend request that she knew was pending.

About a week had to pass before she could have some free time for an afternoon. She sat at the computer, a bottle of sprite in one hand, and logged into League to accept that guy's friend request. When she added him, she noticed that he was absent, so she put her legs up on the chair and looked at her phone while she waited for something new. Her heart nearly burst when she heard a noise inside the client, he had invited her to a game.

She almost dropped the phone on the floor when she leaned forward in the chair and placed her hands on the desk, panic making her look at the game invitation for longer than she should have, but she finally did it, and when she entered the lobby the first thing she did was leave the League Voice so he wouldn't hear her speak. They shared a couple of messages in the lobby chat while queueing, mostly a couple of greetings and reminders of their last meeting.

They played about 3 games just communicating through pings or messages in chat, as could happen with any random person in the game, but it soon started to become somewhat tedious for both of them as they needed more precision and shorter response times, so Dani, knew that the only way to truly improve and win games comfortably, was to speak to him by voice.

When they played the last game, the first thing Dani did after saying goodbye to him was go directly to Minji.

"Unnie!" Dani caught her attention, while Minji practiced in the living room with a piano.

"Yeah?"

"Well, you know I recently played with this guy again..."

"The guy you played with that time?" She put the piano aside, "What's wrong with him?"

"He's being pretty nice to me, and he's helping me a lot to get better at the game!" Her voice was filled with emotion as she said that last sentence, "But talking via chat is quite uncomfortable... I would like to talk to him via voice, what do you say?"

"Uh..." she thought about it for a second, "Discord is the best option, yes," she nodded, "but hey, I need you to really be very careful with that, you know why."

"He's trustworthy, I promise!" Dani exclaimed, "Besides, I can create a new email just for that account."

"Just be careful, please," Minji insisted, "Now leave me alone, I don't want to forget the melody I just thought of."

Dani ran back to her room and hurried to create a new Gmail email exclusively for Discord, an application that was a bit complicated for her to figure out how to use at first, so she asked Hanni for help to familiarize herself with everything before doing anything. When she finally felt safe using the app, she sent you an invite link the next day through League chat.

--------------------------------------

You almost spit out your coffee when you saw a discord invite link in the chat. You quickly put the cup aside the mouse, put on your headphones, and clicked to accept the invitation. It was a channel where it was just you and her, the name was 'please help me', you couldn't help but laugh. She was already joined to the voice channel, so you just had to join.

"Hello hello?" You greeted, adjusting your microphone to your mouth. You heard interference sounds and some tapping on the microphone.

"Hellooo?" you heard her say, you inevitably smiled, "can you hear me right?"

"Yes perfectly!" you nodded.

"Gosh, I'm really bad with computers..." Dani spoke softly, as if she was afraid to raise her voice. Her pretty voice combined with her sexy accent made your skin crawl, it was like listening to an ASMR video, "I had to ask Hanni for help."

"Discord's really easy, it's just a matter of getting used to it I think," you felt a knot in your chest and a fluttering feeling of anxiety in the pit of your stomach. You were talking to Danielle Marsh from NewJeans, something you couldn't even fully take in, "How are you? Is everything okay?"

"You know, very exhausted from all the activities, it's not an easy life," she sighed, "but I'm still standing. What about you?"

"I certainly can't complain, honestly, but anyway, are you ready?"

"Yes! More than ready," as soon as she told you that, you pressed the find match button.

That was the first game you played, of many more that were to come. During the following months Dani made a great effort to play almost every day with you, no matter where in the world she was or what time it was, she always found a window of free time to play even just one game with you. Naturally the chemistry grew between you, but you never expected that she would even want to share her daily life with you while you weren't playing League. At first it was just basic things like the things they did as a group, or silly things like what she ate for breakfast or what she dreamed of, but gradually the trust between you grew, and it was a matter of time before you built a real connection.

You weren't a fool, anyway. You knew very well how beautiful and sexy she was without even trying. More than a friendship with her was all you could ever want from the bottom of your heart, but you were never one to daydream, so you were more than happy to just have her in your life. Occasionally you and her would flirt with each other over messages, but her being the person she was with the warm and kind personality she had, you thought it was all innocent and going nowhere. Average League player.

Friends of yours always asked who was that person with whom you always played and who prevented you from playing with them, but you never said a single word or clue, you always came out with the same excuse that it was just a client who had insisted on private coaching sessions in exchange for a significant monetary sum. They always believed you, but it was funny to think that it wasn't far from the truth either. The only difference was that Danielle still didn't pay you. Not yet.

There was a time when Dani was so busy with international activities that there were several days during which you would only message each other but there was no way you could even play a game. During one of those days you were out with your friends, the night escalated too quickly, and it all ended with large amounts of alcohol. You were a little drunk, and as soon as you had a moment alone at the bar you didn't hesitate to take out your phone to text Dani.

You completely forgot you had written that message until you got home, still with the alcohol affecting your body but no longer as drunk as before. You lay down on the bed ready to rest, until your phone rang with a notification. Dani had answered you.

Upon reading that last message you quickly stood up (tripping over your own shoes on the way) and in a couple of strides you turned your chair around, sat down and put on your headphones to enter discord.

"Hi thereee," you greeted, logging into League.

"Hi!" She laughed, noticing that you were speaking differently, “Are you drunk?”

"Nah," you laughed, "I mean, I'm a little more cheerful than usual, but I'm not drunk, don't worry," you assured, but you didn't know if you were actually telling the truth or not.

"Well, if you say so," she giggled again, "are you ready?" She asked when you were both in the lobby.

"Yessir! Go ahead!"

During all those months in which you were playing, you had not started playing ranked yet since Dani was still low level and did not have enough champions, but for a few weeks that was the only thing you played. You were climbing pretty fast, she was currently at Silver 2, and she was only one game away from reaching Silver 1. As expected, you won that game.

"Yaaaaay!" she celebrated, and you heard small applauses through her microphone, "Oh my god, we're going up so fast!" you laughed.

"At this point you should pay me with nudes in case I take you to gold," you said, not really thinking clearly about what you had said at any time since alcohol always made you this bold about everything. There was a small silence on the call.

"Well… we'll see about that," Dani lowered her voice again, speaking with a silkiness that made you shiver since you had the volume turned up quite high. You were surprised that she didn't answer you with a resounding no, "but that has to happen first."

"At this point you doubt what will happen?" you asked with an arrogant chuckle.

"I said we'll see, next week I'll be home, so by then we can play as much as we want," it was probably just your altered perception of reality thanks to the alcohol, but you noticed a certain double meaning in that last sentence.

"You have to go now, don't you?" you asked somewhat sadly.

"Yeah, I'm so sorry, honey," she wailed, "Just rest, okay? You must be exhausted."

"Yes I am," you sighed, "you rest too, Dani, I missed playing with you."

"And me too..." there was another small silence in which you were smiling, and for some reason you felt like she was too, "later, bye bye."

"Bye bye," you answered back, and left the call to go straight to bed.

---------------------------------------------

Dani was surprised, but honestly she wasn't disappointed at all. The connection she felt with that guy was genuine, something that did not happen very often with people since she became an idol. In fact, she did not give much importance to the consequences since she knew that many girls in the industry did very similar things, but at the same time she was highly nervous since she was inexperienced in that area.

Certainly she was not a virgin, she had a boyfriend who had taken care of it, but her experience at that time had not even been satisfactory, only for that stupid and cretinous boy whom she had already more than forgotten. But since then she never had more time to dedicate to the boys she hadn’t continued training that side of her, she had a few friendly kisses with Hanni, but nothing more than that.

The week before she returned home passed at the speed of light, and as soon as she settled back into the house and rested a little, she told him that they could start grinding rankeds. They had a fairly extensive winning streak, which was enough to leave them one game away from gold, but that's when the losses came.

Three games in a row lost, 0 LP. She was trying twice as hard as usual just like him, but no matter how hard they tried, her teammates were never right and they simply lost because the other lines were way further ahead in gold than everyone else. Of course she could have just sent him nudes, but she wanted to see him put in the effort first.

The road to Gold was being quite horrifying, they were trapped in a win-loss streak for several days, but that was never a cause for despair for him, who continually reassured her assuring her that sooner or later they would go up, since they were simply better players than the others, but time was running out, as there was only one last day left before she had to leave home again for a while.

It was quite late at night and it was already the last one Dani could play before going to sleep, which coincidentally was also the last game she needed to finally move up to Gold. She was curious about whether he had forgotten about the bet since he hadn't mentioned it at any time since he said it, but she wouldn't be the one to remind him.

The game was quite chaotic and difficult for both of them, but with some wonderful individual play on his part, they won, and Dani had moved up to Gold.

"Let's goooooooo!" he exclaimed into the microphone, "I told you! It was a matter of time!"

"Ahhhhh!!" She squealed with excitement, tapping the table with both hands, "You really are amazing!" she said as she watched the Gold promotion animation.

"People of this elo are honestly terrible, mother of god," he sighed, "but hey, we did it!"

"Thank you very much, really," she sighed. There was a small silence.

"Well... I already got you to Gold, I wonder how you can make it up to me…" he said quietly.

"Oh honey, I should sleep right now..." she replied smiling and playing with a curl of her hair, "bye bye."

"Huh? Really?" He laughed, and before he could respond Dani left the call.

As soon as Dani took off the headphones she leaned back and bit her lip still smiling, thinking about the angles she was going to use and the way she was going to send the photos to him in the morning.

---------------------------------

When you woke up and checked your phone your eyes couldn't believe what they were seeing. Dani continued to surprise you, it wasn't just a photo you had received, but a complete photo session of all kinds. Photos of her perky pretty little tits, her long skinny pale legs, her pretty feet, a photo of her rubbing her pussy, another photo lying on her stomach showing you her bare back and her ass, and she even took the time and daring to record a video of her bending over and spreading her ass for you. The killer part of the video for you was how she looked over her shoulder at the mirror and saw you with a seductive look. You were incredibly hard.

A few weeks passed in which the naughty messages and flirting continued, becoming more advanced with each passing day. She was driving you completely crazy, if before your crush on her was strong, now knowing her and getting to see her naked body normally, you didn't want any other girl in the world other than her.

It was the last night before she finally came home, you were lying in your bed, you had showered a few minutes ago, and you were ready to continue reading the Jujutsu Kaisen manga until you received a message from Dani.

As soon as you sent that message you received a video call from her, you innocently responded, and when you saw her your jaw almost dropped to the floor. She was completely naked.

"What the f...?!!" You opened your eyes wide, while she adjusted the camera, sitting on her bed.

"I couldn't help it, I'm sorry," she smiled, biting her lip as she watched you through the screen, "I didn't want to wait for you to take me to Plat before giving you this, so consider it payment in advance."

You left the phone on a small improvised tripod that you made from the blankets and began to undress quickly, Dani giggling every time you took off a piece of clothing until finally, like her, you were completely naked and hard for her.

"My god... the things I would do to you if I were right there with you," you said, bringing your hand to your cock to start masturbating very slowly at first.

"Oh yeah?" she asked, her countenance transforming into one seductive and sexy, "like what?" She sat with her knees apart and started rubbing her pussy slowly.

"I would kiss those pretty little tits..." when you said that she brought a hand to her tits to play with her nipples, "I would lick your nipples, and I would suck on them."

"I'd love to have that pretty mouth of yours on them..." she moaned, "but also on my tummy."

"Oh yeah? Would you like me to kiss and lick all over your tummy before eating that pretty pussy, darling?" You spat into your hand and brought it back to your cock to move your wrist slightly faster.

"Fuck, I'd love to," she settled back on the bed, this time spreading her legs for you so you could see her pussy perfectly, "I'd love to eat your cock too, honey..." she gasped, rubbing herself with two fingers.

"What would you do with this cock baby?" you asked with a gasp, watching how she played with her pussy and how she bit her lip.

"I would kiss it... I would lick it like a delicious popsicle..." you began to move your hand faster, your breathing becoming more and more labored due to arousal, "I would also kiss your balls, and I would suck them until they were soaked."

"Fuck... keep going honey," you said, zooming out so she could see you masturbating.

"You like it huh?" She bit her lower lip, "I would also kiss your tip... and collect the pre-cum that leaks out before taking it to my mouth," she teased by taking two fingers inside her pussy, which was glistening from how wet it was, "and I would suck that cock so hard that I would suck the soul out of you."

"Jesus Christ... I want to fuck you so bad Dani," you moaned, as you jerked off in front of your phone's camera for her. She moaned, and took two fingers inside her pussy.

"Mmmm yeah?" she moaned louder, "how would you like to fuck me?" She began pumping her fingers in and out of her pussy, slow at first.

"I'd start by fucking you on your back, with those nice long legs on my shoulders," you said panting, moving your hand slowly to match her pace, "I'd make sure my cock would go all the way in and all the way out, and also to kiss those pretty feet while I do it."

"Mmmm, how else, tell me how else!" she moaned louder, pumping her fingers faster, you consequently moved your wrist faster too.

"Then I'd love to put you on your hands and knees, and fuck you from behind while I pull on that beautiful hair," you moaned to her, knowing that the more you did it the more she was going to get turned on.

"How, like this?" She put the phone back and placed it horizontally, to rest on her hands and knees with her ass facing the camera, her back making a beautiful and perfect arch.

"Just like fucking that," you groaned, watching as she ran a hand under her body and returned her fingers inside her pussy, this time her wrist pumping fast and hard, "your ass is so pretty… you'd like me to fuck it dear?"

"That long juicy cock inside my tight little butthole?" she said with one side of her face pressed against the mattress, looking into the camera, "as much and hard as you want, mmmgh!"

"How much would you like me to fuck your ass baby?" you asked, the tingling in your lower abdomen becoming more intense as you got closer to cumming.

"A lot! It's all I want right now!" You were worried about how loudly she was moaning as her fingers aggressively pumped against her pussy, but you were so deep in your own imagination that you didn't care in the slightest to say something, "I want you to fuck my ass so hard that my legs tremble all day!

"I'm so fucking close, Dani, fuck!" You moaned, masturbating as hard and fast as you could as you watched her tight ass and how she finger fucked herself.

"Me too! Cum with me honey!" She turned away from the camera for a moment to focus on her own pleasure, but you continued to stare at her ass, imagining that you were kneeling right behind her while you fucked her. It was a matter of time before you exploded.

"Agh fuckkk!!" you grunted, strips of cum shooting out of your cock everywhere, landing on your lower abdomen, on your thighs and also staining your sheet without meaning to.

"Mmmmmgh!!!" She let out one last squeal before she stopped moving her wrist abruptly and cum. Her entire body shook in violent spasms. She lay flat against the mattress, her hips writhing upward as she rubbed herself between her pussy folds and let out cute moans, "Oh my god..." she sighed, adjusting herself to finally look at the screen, "look how much you came… god, I'd love to be there to pick it all up with my tongue and swallow it," she said, picking up the phone and bringing it closer to a shot of just her face, she was looking at your cum-soaked cock, licking her lips.

"You're really going to drive me crazy, Danielle Marsh," you said, sighed and then smiled, "you made me a mess."

"If I were there I'd clean it all myself... but I'm not," she sighed, looking to the side and then laying down on a pillow, "this was fun, wasn't it?"

“Yes it was,” you nodded, entranced by her pretty smile, as if just seconds ago you weren't imagining yourself pulling her hair and fucking her like an animal, “give me a moment, I'll go get some toilet paper. "

"I'll wait for you here, honey," she said, and you rushed for toilet paper to clean everything up.

"Fuck, I'll have to change the sheets," you sighed, cleaning it before throwing all the papers into the trash can and returning to Dani, "here I am."

"Damn, I think Hanni unnie heard me," she said, putting a hand to her mouth to giggle, "she just told me to shut up via text."

"Well, tell her you're not going to scream like that anymore," you laughed, lying back on the pillow, "you were moaning pretty loud."

"Really? God, they're going to kill me," she looked worried for a moment, "But nah, it's my revenge, Minji always does this kind of thing with her dildo."

"Wow, I guess you didn't need to share that information," you chuckled, but imagining Minji playing with a dildo in her pussy wasn't an unpleasant image in your head at all.

"Probably not, but I already told you, so if you want to jerk off thinking about it you can," she laughed, "as long as you show me."

"I don't think I'll have the desire to do that after how you just drained me," you smiled.

"A shame then..." she looked to the side for a few seconds, thinking about something, "hey, I'd like to tell you something."

"Sure, what it is."

"Um... well, I want us to hang out again, you know, in person."

"Well, I'm sure we can come up with something hon-"

"I like you," she said, not letting you finish the sentence, your heart skipped a beat.

"H-huh?"

"Just like you heard, I like you, and I like you a lot, god," she said desperately, as if it was something she'd been wanting to shout for a long time, "you... you're so cute, and so genuine with me, you make me feel like the real Danielle Marsh," she sighed, "yeah, I like you a lot."

"I..." you were speechless, your heart beating at full speed and with a tickling in your stomach, "Dani..." you were staring at her, "I like you a lot too, I don't think I've ever been so down for a girl like I am for you. You are so... radiant, and beautiful, and tender, and attentive!" As you spoke, Dani's smile and her face became brighter, "since you came into my life my days have only gotten better."

"God, you're going to make me cry, stop," she laughed with glassy eyes, "you're beautiful, and to be honest the best thing that's happened to me in a long time."

"I… I can say the same thing," you smiled from ear to ear, "you make me feel dumber than I am," she let out a louder laugh.

"And that's a good thing?"

"I guess so… hey, I'm really sleepy, honey," you said, and then yawned.

"I'm going to take a bath first before I go to sleep, you might find some surprises when you wake up," she winked at you, "but it's okay, darling, go rest," she gave the camera a kiss, and your inner self let out a stupid giggle.

"I can't wait to wake up then," you, completely idiotic and in love, also gave the camera a kiss, "tomorrow we'll talk about our outing, okay? Rest, baby."

"See you later honey," she waved at the camera and blew you a kiss with her hand. You hung up the call.

Even though you told her you were going to sleep, you stayed in bed awake for a few long minutes, internalizing everything that just happened and how it had happened. The tender words that she had said to you a second ago couldn't come out of your head, nor did her beautiful and radiant smile while you said nice things to her. That girl was everything you had been waiting for for a long time, and to think that everything had happened by chance made you laugh, but there, staring at the ceiling of your room with a silly smile on your face, you couldn't do anything but thank fate for putting Danielle Marsh on your path. That was the best sleep you had had in years.

---------------------------------

During the entire flight home Dani couldn't get the silly smile off her face. The girls constantly asked her what was wrong, but Dani always changed the topic of conversation or just played dumb. That night couldn't get out of her head, she remembered vividly how he had made her feel. That orgasm, those pretty words, that bright look of his as he said it all. It all seemed like a dream too good to be true, she had finally found the right person (or so it seemed), and knowing that something like that was waiting for her at home only made her stupidly happy.

When she landed the first thing she did when she got home was turn on her computer, take a shower and lie down on her bed to take a short nap. When she woke up and checked her phone, she was not surprised to find a couple of messages from him. One of them was so cheesy that she couldn't help but giggle.

Before jumping into the details about their meeting together, she had to first sit down and review her upcoming schedule carefully, and to her dismay, she realized that absolutely every day of the next two weeks was completely booked. That stressed her out, but it didn't stop her from continuing to spend time with him in League.

"Unfortunately I'm chain cc'ed for the next two weeks, honey," she had told him after a couple of games played, while they talked on discord, "but then it will be your turn for your tie me up," she giggled

The two of them continued teasing each other during those two weeks, day and night non-stop. Many conversations were based solely on what things she liked and what boundaries she would like to explore with him. Things in that chat were getting quite dirty, Hanni on one of those occasions accidentally read a message she had sent and was making fun of her all day, asking her if a cock that size wasn't going to break her in half.

Attached to that last message, a video of her doing a close up of her lips while she licked them and then stuck out her tongue.

--------------------------------------

The plan Dani had formulated for you and her to have time alone was simply much better than you thought. She had told you to meet at a convention center, where there would be a cosplay event where she could wear a mask and no one would recognize her. You had already done your part of the plan too, you had made a reservation at a fairly trustworthy restaurant, as well as a reservation at a luxury hotel that you were sure she would love.

You arrived at the convention center on time, at 5 in the afternoon just as you and she had planned. You walked through the crowd in search of her, not paying much attention to all the cosplays around you since you could only focus on one thing at a time. The crowd was quite overwhelming for someone who was not used to being surrounded by so many people, but in the end you found her, you recognized her just by how she was dressed and by her beautiful long hair, but what finally confirmed her identity was the Jhin mask she was wearing. You thought it was cute that it was a little big on her face.

"Hello there! Your Jhin mask is great!" you said, taking her hand. You heard her giggle beneath her mask as she clung to you in a hug.

"God, I was starting to get overwhelmed" She said, still clinging to you, with your arms around her thin body.

"Ready to go?" you asked, separating yourself from her.

"Of course! We have nothing to do here," as soon as she said that you grabbed her hand and started pushing everyone out of your way as if you were Moses parting the waters of the Red Sea. You left the convention center in a matter of minutes, guided her to your car, and when she got in she took off her mask.

"Oh my god, you're literally a work of art," you said, sitting next to her, carefully detailing each of her pretty, doll-like features, as well as her visibly expensive outfit, which consisted of a long, beige baggy coat, white pantyhose and wide-heeled shoes.

"Do you like it?" She asked with a little smile, also looking you up and down.

"I love it," you nodded, looking into her eyes, "god, I can't believe I have you here with me."

"Just come and kiss me, baby" she said, and you lunged forward without hesitation, gently grabbing her face and crashing your lips onto hers.

Kissing her for the first time was liberating, a transcendental experience that felt like a little piece of heaven at that precise moment. Her lips were everything you imagined, soft, delicious and silky, you lost track of time, so you didn't really know how long you were kissing her until you separated and you looked at the time on your phone.

"Oh my god, it's getting late," you said, starting the car, "I booked us a table at a pretty discreet restaurant for both of us."

“Oh honey, I only have an appetite for one thing right now…” she said, her incredibly sexy Aussie accent sending shivers down your spine. She grabbed the skirt of her coat and pulled it up to her waist, revealing her pair of long legs adorned by her pantyhose, which went up to her thighs. Your sight went straight to her white lace panties, which she took off and then put into her own mouth.

"W-wow... what are you do..." you looked around, remembering that you were still in the middle of the street and that your windows weren't completely tinted. She grabbed your wrist, and opening both legs as wide as she could, she brought your hand right to her pussy so you could finger it.

You quickly hit the gas, pulling out of the street as fast as you could and turning a corner to drive straight toward the hotel. She put on her seat belt, moaning against her own panties while you rubbed your fingers against her clit until her pussy was wet, that's when you took two fingers inside her and started pumping your wrist.

Driving with one hand at such high speed was one of the most reckless and dangerous things you had ever done in your life, but there you were, dodging and overtaking cars to get to your destination as quickly as possible. You couldn't afford to look at Dani while you fingered her, but you heard her pretty muffled moans against her lace fabric and your cock did nothing but throb with excitement. She noticed this, and with her left hand she began to massage it over your pants. You swore that by the time you pulled into the hotel parking lot your boxers were already stained with pre-cum as well.

"Consider this a gift," she said, removing her panties from her mouth as you turned off the car, tossing them in the back seat and pulling her coat back down.

"Get off," you ordered, completely blinded by your desire to fuck her.

You both got out of the car and Dani put the mask back on. You checked into the lobby as quickly as the receptionist would let you, and once you had your key card you were both very close to jogging to the elevator. As you went up to your room floor she took off her mask and let it fall to the floor, you pinned her against the wall to kiss her again, and she began to moan against your lips.

When the elevator door opened you wrapped your arms around her and, almost tripping out of it, you began to walk down the hallway while your lips were still together. It was quite uncomfortable, so you decided it was best to just carry her. She wrapped her legs around your torso, and you rushed to your room, swiping the key card and opening the door in a flash. Once inside you locked the door behind you, and turned on the lights to leave her on the floor.

"Nice enough room for you to fuck me to death, yeah," she said, taking off her shoes as did you before unbuttoning her coat and removing it from her body. To your surprise, the only thing she was wearing from the waist up was an extremely tight tank top with no bra underneath her, her small nipples standing out against the fabric. Of course the top didn't last long, she took it off immediately, and now she was completely naked except for the white stockings which you were more than happy for her to leave on.

You lunged at her and wrapped your arms around her thin, tight body to kiss her again. She helped you undress while you ran your hands over every inch of her body, grabbing her toned little ass, caressing her back, pinching her nipples and running two fingers along her slit. You were both completely naked in a matter of minutes, and as soon as she could Dani climbed back onto your torso, wrapping her arms around your neck and her long legs around your lower body.

You quickly pinned her against a wall, and without any foreplay or teasing you took your throbbing cock straight into her extremely tight pussy.

"Oh fuck…" You gasped against her parted lips, she let out small moans as every inch of your cock made its way inside her until it reached the bottom.

"You feel so good and big!" She moaned, clinging to your neck with both of her hands.

"And you feel so fucking tight baby," you growled, grabbing her thighs and spreading her legs wide open to start fucking her as fast as you could, completely entranced by the immense desire you had for her.

"Oh yes! Fuck me hard and fast honey!!" she whimpered against your lips, as your cock moved completely in and out of her suffocatingly tight little pussy.

You were both deeply rooted in all the pent-up feelings and desire you had for each other over the past few months. You felt liberated, letting yourself be completely carried away by the moment and not thinking for a single moment about everything else. The moans quickly became present, both yours and hers as you hammered her pussy so intensely that it echoed throughout her room. She caressed the hair behind your neck, tangling her long fingers in several strands of it as she kissed you as much as she could. Your fingers were clinging to her soft thighs, beads of sweat falling from your forehead since you hadn't even bothered to turn on the air conditioning.

You and her had been teasing each other during the day, you fingering her a moment ago and her massaging your cock over her pants so well that your boxers were left with a big ass stain of precum on them. It didn't take long for you both to cum.

She did it first, writhing against the wall, letting out squeals of pleasure towards the ceiling and squeezing your cock into her pussy walls, which were already quite tight. You followed her, but not wanting to cum inside her yet, you pulled out from inside her and masturbated, pointing directly at her perfect, toned abdomen, which was painted white in a matter of seconds. Long strips of cum flowing free down her belly and reaching her crotch. You left her on the ground, both of you breathing heavily.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, that was too fast..." you apologized, panting, seeing her belly filled with thick white liquid.

"Oh don't worry darling, we have absolutely the whole night to ourselves," she said with a small smile, grabbing your face to give you a small kiss, "why didn't you finish inside me?"

"I didn't want to do it without your consent, I'm sorry," you said.

"Ahhh!" she squealed, "you're so cute I'm going to die," she gave you more little kisses, "I appreciate the gesture, darling, but don't hold back, fill me with your cum as much as you want," she winked at you, and gave you a little push back so you could see how she collected your cum from her belly and began to bring it all to her mouth to swallow it.

"Mmm, how is it?" you asked with a mischievous smile, as she swallowed the last remnants of your cum off her belly.

"Delicious, just as I expected," she gave you a kiss and went to the bathroom door, "wait for me in bed, honey, my abdomen is sticky now and I need to wash it, it won't be long."

"Okay," you nodded, and went to the side of the bed to grab the control for the air conditioning, turn it on, and lie down on the bed while you looked at your phone waiting for her. She came out of the bathroom a little less than five minutes in, your eyes went straight to her pretty naked body, and you really realized how lucky you were to have possibly one of the most beautiful idols in the industry like that in the same room with you.

"Oh gosh, it's cold all of a sudden," she hugged herself as she walked towards the bed, "lucky I have you as a personal heater," she smiled, climbing onto the bed to crawl towards you and lie down with half of her body leaning against yours.

"I still can't believe I finally have you in my arms, you know?" You sighed, snuggling her against your chest with both arms, then left a hand on her lower back. She hugged you too, leaving one hand on your chest and scribbling on your skin with one finger.

"It seems like a dream, right?" she asked as she looked into your eyes, two bright and adorable orbs, "for me too..." she gave you a peck on the jaw.

"More for me, I assure you," you laughed, returning the kiss but on her lips, "like, we met by chance of fate, you being a celebrity and me being a simple random who won a raffle."

"And here we are, you already fucked me and your cum is on my stomach right now," you both laughed out loud at that.

"Breakthrough indeed," you laughed.

"Thank you for being who you are and how you are... seriously," she told you with a smile on her face, "as you say, we met by chance, but now you are so fundamental to me that it’s difficult for me to think about how I could possibly improve my life right now."

"Well... I don't know if it will sound corny but you are like an angel fallen from heaven to me," her eyes, full of love and tenderness, looked at you, "I mean, I never expected this to happen when I won that spot, in fact, I wasn't even completely sure that I would be able to meet you since even that was random. I'm literally the luckiest guy in the world, to have that opportunity and to be able to make you... mine."

"Would you repeat that last one thing again?" she asked with a sweet tone of voice.

"Mine, to be able to make you completely mine. You are, completely mine, Danielle Marsh," you emphasized, and she squirmed in tenderness with a sweet smile from ear to ear on her face.

"Yes I am, I'm completely yours, honey," she said, cradling the side of your face with her hand and kissing you again, this time staying tied to your lips.

While you were kissing again, one of her hands discreetly went down your abdomen until it reached your flaccid cock, which she gently grabbed and began to massage. In response, you lowered your hand a little further from her lower back, reaching one of her buttocks to gently squeeze it. She gasped against your lips, and began to rub your cock up and down until it was hard again. You lowered your hand a little further, bringing it between her buttocks and reaching up to her pussy to rub between her folds.

"Mmm… I want to eat you, baby," you gasped against her lips.

"And I want to suck your cock, who will get the prize first?" she asked with mischief in her voice.

"Why not both?" When you said that you sat her up to grab her by her waist, she was quite light, so it was easy for you to just turn her around and lift her on top of you. Dani caught on to what you wanted to do immediately, and positioned herself so that her ass was hovering above you.

"You're a dirty genius huh?" She teased with a little smile, looking down at you and shaking her butt in your face.

"You'll thank me later," with two of your hands you grabbed her shoulders and made her collapse forward, her chest now pressed against your abdomen. You felt all of her long hair spread across your thighs, and also her hot breath on your cock. She extended her knees to the sides, her butt lowered, and now being within your reach you grabbed her waist and made her sit on your face, your entire face now submerged between her buttocks.

You were the first to act, giving her pussy a long, deep lick to which she reacted with a cute moan while she had your cock gripped in one hand. The next thing you felt was how she began to kiss you in every corner of it, including your balls, which she licked and sucked before moving on to lick your shaft from all directions. Not wanting to go too fast you moved your tongue slowly, and just like her you just limited yourself to spreading wet kisses all over her slit, which was enough to make her moan already.

When she began to lick your tip with her tongue swirling around it, you reached for her clitoris to lick it with slow strokes. Realizing that she was the one setting the pace she took you deeper into her mouth, reaching just past the middle of your cock, you felt her try to go deeper, but her gag reflex prevented her from doing so. Still, she began to suck you up and down, moaning around your shaft as she pumped her head at a pace that had you moaning against her pussy as well.

You squeezed her buttocks with both hands, and squeezing them forced her to grind her hips against your face. She did so, and her pussy began to rub against both your mouth and nose. You could tell that she wasn't an expert at sucking cock, but you could also tell that she was trying hard to pay attention to how you moaned to know how to do it better and better. She certainly learned well, since after a minute she was already driving you crazy.

She gradually began to pump her head faster and more skillfully, and you began to move your tongue matching her rhythm. Her uncontrolled moans vibrated your cock, which in turn caused a domino effect in which you vibrated her pussy with your own moans. You noticed in the movement of her hips, more wandering and less smooth, that she was much closer to her orgasm than you, so you hugged her body with both arms and made her stop grinding her hips so you could concentrate on licking her clit with the tip of your tongue as fast as you could, your efforts soon rewarded as she exploded in your face.

Her ass smothered you and she pulled you out of her mouth to let out a squeal into the air, you gladly continued to eat her through her orgasm, not caring about the fact that your breathing was incredibly limited thanks to her. Her whole body was shaking, and you caressed every corner of it with your hands until she stopped.

"Give me another load honey..." you heard her say with a moan, sinking back onto your cock and also using her hand to suck as hard and fast as she could. She leaned her hips forward to let you breathe, but you knew it was also to hear you moan while she gave you a disastrous blowjob with saliva everywhere.

"C-cumming!" you announced with a growl, and seconds later, you exploded inside her little mouth. She took every drop of your cum inside her, making a great effort not to choke in the attempt, when your orgasm passed, she got off you and knelt next to you to show you her tongue completely filled with white liquid. She closed her mouth again, and swallowed everything.

"First blood," she said with a mischievous tone, you laughed still breathing hard.

"Well, technically..."

"Nope, I'm not counting the previous one. First blood I said," she reaffirmed, approaching you to share another steamy kiss.

"Then let's keep playing shall we?" You said against her lips, and you rose little by little, leaning on your elbows. She separated from your lips, and watched your movements carefully. You finally grabbed her by her waist and made her turn her back to you, then, with one hand on her lower back, you made her rest on her hands and knees. She replicated the same perfect arc she had done that time on the video call, and seeing her tight ass and her dripping pussy from behind made your cock throb again.

Without a second thought you spit again on your cock and thrust yourself back into her, your shaft sliding so smoothly into her that a single push was enough to make it disappear between her folds. Dani threw her head back and moaned loudly.

"Mmmmgh!!" She moaned with pursed lips, turning to look at you over her shoulder, “smash that fucking tight pussy honey!!” She asked, holding on to the sheets while you began to do exactly what she had just asked, two hands on her small waist and your hips pumping almost at full power right from the start.

Her body began to shake like a rag doll's, back and forth with each slam of your pelvis against her tight ass, which wobbled with each strong thrust. You gasped and pursed your lips between small moans, admiring her long bare back and how her hair spread across it in an incredibly sexy way.

She stopped looking at you to bury her face in her mattress and moan against it, pulling the sheet a little from the edges of her because of how hard she was scrunching them with her fingers. One of her hands reached out to her right to grab a pillow, hug it and moan against it while you fucked her pussy like an animal. She raised her head again to see you over her shoulder, her red face completely distorted with pleasure and her mouth half open as she moaned in the most sensual ways.

"Don't look at me like that or I'll have to spank you Danielle Marsh," you warned with a sly smile as you fucked her just the way she wanted.

"Oh yes please, spank me!!" She asked quickly with a desperate squeal, and without a second thought you gave her a spicy spank on her right buttock, which made her squeal louder and bite the pillow.

You squeezed both of her ass cheeks with her hands and let your head fall back with your eyes closed because of how good it felt to fuck her tight pussy like that. Your hands went to her waist again, and she buried the side of her face back into the pillow as you brought her to a third orgasm.

Another spank on her right buttock, your hand marked in red on her skin, and then another spank with a changed hand, this time on her left buttock. Dani screamed against the pillow, and after a few seconds of intense thrusts she came again. You slowed your pumps considerably, watching as her slim body shook and her hips made her fuck herself against your cock.

"Here I fucking come..." you warned, feeling yourself reaching your peak again without her even having completely overcome her orgasm. You grabbed a handful of her long, silky brown hair and pulled it back as you gave a sharp thrust forward, exploding violently inside her pussy, "double kill," you whispered in her ear, unloading all your cum inside her tight walls.

"Fuck..." she moaned once you let go of her hair and let her fall back onto the pillow, "it feels so warm and thick inside me... I love it," she sighed with heavy breathing.

"Consider it a way for me to mark my territory," you smiled, and then you pulled out of her pussy to lie down next to her and start filling her back, shoulders, and neck with small, loving kisses. You helped her and were patient while she recovered, stroking her soft hair and placing more kisses all over her face.

"So double kill huh?" She giggled seeing you and standing up to go to her coat, she picked it up off the floor and searched in one of her pockets. She pulled out two things, her phone, which she distracted herself with by typing for a few seconds, and a small bottle of lub, "get ready for baron then," she tossed the little bottle to you.

There was no doubt in your mind what exactly she meant when she said that, but when she got back on the bed, she got back on her hands and knees, spread her ass for you, and looked at you with the same lascivious look she had given you that night on the video call, you knew exactly what she wanted.

"You're a very naughty girl, huh?" You teased, kneeling again behind her and pouring some lub on your fingers to start playing with her butthole, rubbing it and then taking them inside her little by little. She didn't have time to answer you while you used your fingers to slowly open her tight ass, pumping slowly with your wrist until you took them completely inside her, only leaving your knuckles outside. That was enough to drive you to full hardness again.

"Come on baby, I'm ready for you to gank my ass," she moaned looking at you over her shoulder, "put that cock in, I need it!"

You took the lub again, this time to pour it over your cock and spread a considerable amount over it, to leave it very slippery and shiny. Once ready you capped the bottle, tossed it to the side and took your shaft in one hand to guide it to her butthole. You made slow, steady pressure forward, taking your first few inches inside and moaning as you felt her walls stretch around you. She wasn't even able to moan, she had her mouth permanently open in an O, her nails digging into the pillow and her eyebrows furrowed as she watched you. At first it was somewhat suffocating, but as soon as your entire cock had disappeared between her buttocks it was easy for you to gradually get into the rhythm.

You left one hand on her waist, and began to move slowly knowing that she was still struggling to get used to your length inside her inexperienced ass. Finally she started moaning like she normally did, that's when you realized how much she was really enjoying it, but with every thrust you gave her moans became louder and louder, leading you to think that she enjoyed having her ass fucked much more than she could have expected.

The pace gradually increased, you took your cock as far in and out as you could, making sure every inch of her felt absolutely every inch of your cock as you fucked her ass between moans and loud sounds of flesh slapping against flesh.

"Why do I feel like you're enjoying it more than your pussy?" You groaned somewhat exhausted already, but not the least bit willing to stop.

"Because I am!! Fuck!!" she squealed in response, she brushed all her hair past one of her shoulders and looked at you over her shoulder, you could only see her milky naked back as you fucked her ass so hard you felt like you were going to break her in two.

"Then show me how much you're enjoying it honey, but I want to look into your eyes," you pulled out of her ass and turned her roughly onto her back, you grabbed both of her legs and spread them wide open, you looked into her eyes, and you went back inside her ass with a single push.

"Oh ffuuuuuck!!!" she grunted with her eyes watering, arching her back as you resumed your powerful, violent thrusts in and out of her ass, "don't stop please!! it feels so fucking amazing!!"

"And it will feel even better honey," you assured, leaning forward to kiss her long neck and down to her small tits, which for the first time you brought to your mouth to lick and kiss her nipples again and again.

Certainly she began to enjoy it much more, she hugged your neck and pushed you hard towards her tits, forcing you to continue eating them while you fucked her ass without mercy. Her beautiful moans were like music to your ears, and between both stimuli she soon came in the most intense, violent and energetic way so far. Her entire body seemed to be being electrocuted, even her eyes were rolled back as the spasms attacked her without any warning.

The way the walls of her butthole tightened around your cock made you moan against her tits, and even though she had already drained you three times that night, you were able to release one last load for her nside her ass. You released yourself from her arms, and this time you muffled your moans against her lips as you shot ribbons of hot liquid into her.

"Mmm… triple kill," you whispered against her lips, and neither you nor she could help but laugh.

"God, we're so stupid," she laughed, hugging you, placing kisses on your temple. You could feel her chest rising and falling abruptly.

"I didn't think you would enjoy being fucked in the ass so much," you said still inside her. You gave her a little kiss on her lips.

"Me neither, but I think I just found a great new kink," she giggled, biting her lower lip, "hey, you're not planning on staying inside me all night are you?"

"As much as I want to, no," you laughed, and slowly pulled out of her ass, and as if it were a plug, your cum began to flow freely out of it and onto the sheets, "I'll go find something to clean you up."

You got out of bed and went to the bathroom to get a roll of toilet paper, you came back with Dani, and while she was still with her legs open, waiting patiently for you, you began to clean her carefully, putting special emphasis on the stained sheets.

"We can ask for new sheets, right?" she asked.

"Of course, but for now let's get some rest honey," you said with a sigh, leaving the roll of toilet paper on the nightstand to lie down on the pillow. She joined you right away, but she climbed completely on top of you, clinging with her thighs to your torso and leaving her head resting against your neck, you wrapped your arms around her and snuggled her against you, resting for a few minutes in that the peace you felt was completely unbreakable.

Until you heard several loud knocks against the door.

Your heart began to beat fast and strong, and you could feel your entire soul escaping from your body thinking that you had been caught. But Dani didn't seem scared like you, in fact, when she heard her knocking she raised her head excitedly and put on the tight tank top she was originally wearing. You frowned, confused since you didn't know what was happening. It was when Dani opened the door and stepped outside that everything became clear to you.

"Damn, why are you so sexy and disheveled?" You heard a girl say, "I'm late, right?"

"No, you're actually right on time unnie," Dani said, and when she walked back into the room she walked in with none other than Kim Minji herself. Looking as beautiful and inexplicably ethereal as ever. She was wearing a semi-transparent black blouse, flared jeans, and sandals. She was also carrying a backpack.

"May I know what the hell is going on?" you asked, covered up to your neck with the blanket in a rather funny way as you watched them. They both had a wicked smile on their faces as Dani closed the door.

"Well... Unnie's been trying to show me something for a while now," Dani began to explain to you, "but she thought it would be best to just bring her along too."

Just then Minji took the backpack off her shoulder, set it down and took out some long ropes from it.

"Tell me, are you ready to do some crafts, cutie?" Minji asked you, watching you with a raised eyebrow as she pulled the ropes onto the bed. You, without taking your eyes off her for a moment, got out from under the blanket to reach the room's phone and call reception.

"Hello? Yes... I would like to book one more night," you began.

"Mmm, better make it two," Minji ordered.

"Ah... yes," you nodded, "two more nights... thank you miss."

—---------------------------

Spren Notes: Well, there's Dani's first smut, with some more to come👽 And again, sorry for the cheesy LoL jokes lmao.

#newjeans smut #danielle smut #smut #kpop smut #fanfic #smut fanfic #x male reader smut #male reader #x male smut #x male reader

1K notes · View notes

reidmania · 3 months ago

Text

weight of the world | spencer reid

summary; reader struggles to accept not being where or who you thought you’d be, and spencer loves every version of you, even the one yet to exist.

warnings; established relationship, early seasons spence, (s2-4) self doubt, fem reader, struggles with not reaching expectations, insecurities, self reflection, hurt x comfort, comparing achievements, comparing to SPENCERS achievements, self deprecation, uni student reader, stressed reader, reader cleans as a distraction, she is a lil mean for a moment but shes stressed and spencer loves her.

an; be kind to yourself. its okay not to be who you thought you would be.

this is not at all proof read in any way shape or form and it will not be. i am just a girl. let me live w my bad grammar and spelling mistakes. imma guess 2k words but idk man

You had made yourself a home on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, your focus had been drawn away from the cabinets you had been wiping down, instead to the numerous other thoughts that took up an abundance of empty space in your mind.

The microfibre cloth you had been using laid still in the palm of your hand, the antiseptic spray bottle discarded next to you — long forgotten about, you didn’t notice the fact that the last time you had sprayed the cabinet door was now nearing ten minutes ago, and was left dripping down the frame — un-wiped. Leaving small puddles on the floor near where your knees laid.

Maybe it was guilt that had distracted you and led you to zoning out, guilt that you had decided to take a break from the essay due at midnight to clean. Such a mundane task yet it filled you with such guilt. Why were you sitting here cleaning bathroom cabinets that didn’t need to be cleaned rather than finishing the essay?

After sitting in the same position, legs crossed on the bed staring at the computer screen for hours that had begin to accumulate too fast, your mind needed a break, your legs needed to move and your hands were cramping. So you chose to clean. You ignored the fact that it was most likely because of your need to feel like you were doing something of worth.

Yet, you were instead sitting on your knees on the bathroom floor, mind somewhere else between the cleaning and the laptop sitting open on your bed with the half written essay still illuminating in the dark space you had hidden yourself in beforehand. Your mind was instead filled with questions, questions you desperately tried to find any sort of answer too — expect the more you thought the further from an answer you got.

In your state, you missed the sound of the front door opening and closing, you missed the sound of your lovely boyfriend calling out that he was home, and you missed the footsteps heading towards the bathroom. It wasn’t until he turned the light on and off that your attention was pulled away from your mind and to the man leaning against the door frame, eyebrow raised, a knowing questioning look of concern covering his features.

You blinked, you weren’t sure when you had last done that. Your eyes went to him, and then to the cabinet, then back to him. Oh.

“Are you okay?” He asked, he took the steps towards you, kneeling down against the floor to meet your height. Your eyebrows furrowed as you tried to figure out an answer to his question, but you nodded anyways.

“I got distracted” You mumbled, turning your gaze back to the door that had the liquid dripping down it, now basically dry and left with wet stained, you cursed in your mind as you absentmindedly reached out for the bottle, respraying the cabinet and wiping it down. You let out a heavy breath you weren’t aware you were holding in. “How was work?” You asked Spencer.

Spencer hummed, acknowledging your question. He shuffled slightly — obviously uncomfortable in the kneeling position he was in against the hard tiled floor. “Fine, normal. How are you going on that essay?” He asked, his hand came gently to your back to rub gentle circles over the fabric of your t-shirt.

Your mind blanked at his question, the realisation and remembrance of the essay you were supposed to have finished. You wanted to cry as the feeling of pure overwhelming stress filled every bone in your body. Your hand paused its movements against the door, head turning to face him as shame washed over your cheeks. “I haven’t finished it.”

He shrugged, “Thats okay, You still have a few hours. Do you want help?” He offered so sweetly and you were sure you could cry.

Your head shook, “No- I just- Im procrastinating.” You huffed, looking back at the cabinet as you finished wiping it down. You could feel the headache growing again at just the idea of having to return to the essay that had been kicking your ass for days.

He stood up, offering you his hand to help pull you up. “You’re taking a break. You’re allowed to do that.” He reassured, yet it didn’t do a lot to ease your mind as you took his hand, letting him help pull you to stand. You let out a humourless chuckle.

“Sure, and then I become more of a failure.”

You shouldn’t have said it, you could already hear his response without him having to say it. It was one of those things where the thoughts of your mind took over the weight of your tongue, slipping out without any real thought of the response they would get from Spencer, nor the concern.

“You aren’t a failure. Struggling to write an essay doesn’t make you a failure. We talked about this.” He mumbled out, shaking his head dismissively. Spencer hated when you drowned yourself to the point of pure self depreciation normally streaming from the stress you endured.

You hummed, not responding further than that because you really didn’t want to talk about this again, knowing the last time ended with Spencer making you stand in the mirror and say positive affirmations. You walked out of the bathroom, leaving the spray and cloth on the counter as you made your way back to the bedroom, Spencer followed and flicked the light on as he entered behind you.

You sat on the bed, pulling the laptop back on your lap as you read over the last line of what you had written, mind blanking in response to what next add. Your headache growing. Spencer frowned as he pulled his tie off. “Im serious, struggling to write an essay doesn’t make you a failure. You aren’t a failure. You can ask for an extension, you are a good student — They’d give you it” He said.

You shook your head, eyes staying focused on the screen and less to his words, or the fact he was changing which normally would have all your attention. “I don’t want to ask for an extension.” You stated. That was embarrassing, you wanted to be able to do it like everybody else, on time, without any help.

Spencer had changed into pyjamas, coming to sit next to you on the bed, his hand reached out for the laptop. “I know you don’t want to, but you can.” He mumbled, your hand stopping his from closing the screen. You knew he didn’t want to stress yourself out about this, and you couldn’t help but want to tell him its too late.

“Stop. I need to finish this” You mumbled, disregarding his previous comment, your mind both focused and in a million different places all at once.

He sighed, hand letting go and instead reaching out to hold onto one of yours. If he hadn’t talked before you could argue that you needed your hand to type, you would have pulled it away from his grasp. Not because you didn’t want to hold his hand, but because you needed to get this done. “You are not a failure, sweet girl. Its one essay”

“It’s not about the essay.” It wasn’t, sure the essay played apart in your current spiral of self deprecation but it was more than that. It was your entire life. It was where you were, or more-so where you weren’t. You pulled your hands away from the screen to rub your eyes, still not meeting Spencers gaze.

His frown deepened as his hand moved to rest against your back, “Whats it about then? Stop thinking about this.. Talk to me” He mumbled as he took advantage of your current distraction and the fact that your hands were busy to pull the laptop away from your lap, leaving it open but towards the edge of the bed.

You would’ve paid more attention to the movement if your mind wasn’t drawn in a different direction by his question. How were you suppose to explain to a 25 year old, genius FBI profiler who flew through high school and college, with three phd’s that you were simply just sick of trying and failing to reach the expectations you had set for yourself? Simple basic expectations.

“Everything- I really don’t want to talk about this with you” You didn’t mean for it to come across so rude and personal, you truly didn’t. You knew it was rude to invalidate his struggles all because he was smart, it wasn’t your intention to do so, but how were you suppose to tell your genius boyfriend that you simply didn’t like the person you were becoming, or the place you were currently in life.

He frowned, like really genuinely frowned and regret flooded into your chest, you opened your mouth to apologise but he spoke first, “You don’t have to, but Im not going to judge you, no matter what it is thats bothering you.” his hand slipping under your shirt to press against your bare skin in smoothing motion.

“Spence” You frowned as you tilted your head looking at him.

He shook his head, “Don’t apologise. You’re allowed to not want to tell me things, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to know or don’t care.” He said gently.

You could cry as your head spun. “Its just— This isn’t where I thought I’d be right now.” You mumbled out, you weren’t sure if it was loud enough for Spencer to hear or completely comprehend but you assumed so, since his movements paused on your back for a second.

Then he nodded, “I can understand that. Where did you think you’d be?” He asked.

You mulled over his question for a moment because there wasn’t a specific straight answer, it was more so that you just expected more out of yourself, you just expected better. “I don’t know.. I just feel like— For example you are nearly 26 and you are a genius, you work in the FBI, and I’m sitting here struggling to write an essay.” You compared.

He sighed, shaking his head again. “Thats an unfair comparison, thats an unrealistic standard to set for yourself. You are smart, you are so smart and so amazing and you are doing the best that you possibly can.” He said, looking up at you as he spoke so gently. You wanted to drown yourself in the sound of his voice.

You huffed, knowing he was right, because Spencer was a genius, he just was. His brain was extraordinary. “I know.. I mean— I know, but its more then that, like people doing the same essay would have already had it done and handed in, they wouldn’t be sitting here being grumpy with their boyfriends all because they are disappointed in themselves”

He shrugged, “Our brains work in funny ways. When you are stressed or even overwhelmed your brain triggers the first response it can think of because it is struggling to take anything more. It’s not your fault, it’s normal to take your emotions out on your surroundings.” He said, speaking so factually it didn’t exactly help your struggle with compassion but there was some comfort to be found in the midst of his ramble.

“You don’t deserve it though.” You mumbled out.

He nodded, “Neither do you. You’re being too hard on yourself. It’s okay to have high expectations but it’s not okay to beat yourself up for not constantly meeting those expectations, especially when you tend to create unrealistic expectations.”

You frowned at his words, despite them hitting an emotional nerve they were sweet enough to sooth the space of your mind a little more. You really wished it was that simple to quiet your mind. “It’s- Yeah. I know you’re right.. But even just me as a person.. I’m just not who I thought I’d be.. I feel like im constantly picking apart everything I’ve ever done trying to figure out if maybe I did one thing differently.. I’d be.. different— Maybe if I picked a different course I wouldn’t be struggling so much” You thought aloud.

He let out a soft breath, his hand continuing its gentle movements on your back, his head coming to press his lips against your forehead before pulling back a little bit. “Is this course what you want to be doing?” He asked, voice gentle and soft.

You nodded. It was.

“Then it’s worth it, and it will be worth it. Theres so many ways we can work out if you’re finding it too difficult right now, that doesn’t make you a failure or any less good of a student nor a person than it does anyone else. You would never be this mean to somebody going through the same issue, give yourself a break” He spoke softly.

You pondered his words, head dropping down slightly too look at your hands, he hardly allowed you a chance to think before he was speaking again, his head tilting a little as his free hand came to tuck under your chin, encouraging your face back up so your gaze was focused on his.

“And, you can’t beat yourself up for things that happened in the past, yes maybe if you did something differently then you’d be different. So would I, and anybody else, thats not a bad thing, but focusing on all those things on the past doesn’t change that they happened. You can’t hate what you have been through or you will never ever like yourself. You have your entire life to become whoever you want, just focus on being who you need to be, right now.” He spoke, gaze holding yours.

You didn’t say anything, instead just keeping your focus on him and everything he was saying. Letting the sweet comfort of his words quiet the loud voices in your head.

“I love you, and I love who you were before, i love who you are now, and I love whoever you end up becoming.” He said gently, a whisper held in the air between the two of you.

You offered him a soft smile, “I love you” You replied, deciding against adding the ‘too’ because it felt unnecessary, another unnecessary comparison that you would drown yourself in. You loved him, and he loved you. That was enough.

“Let me help you?” He asked, basically pleading.

and this time you agreed.

543 notes · View notes