#The point is both of these kids are completely unaware of how not normal their home lives are

[astro-b-o-y-d]

It's funny to think about Mabel's reaction to finding out just how weird Dipper's home life is in the Grunkle Trap AU. But it's also not like she's got any room to talk when they're doing trivia on everyone in each other's lives and she starts talking about 'Grunkle Stan's old prison buddies! They're one of the reasons we have to move so often!'

Leaving Dipper to stare at her like '...Wait, will I be in danger if we go through with the swap?'

[charlotteking27]

Hi! Can I request a batfam x batmom. But batmom's not that quick to catch on, but it comes to a point where all the boys know she's pregnant, they are all treating her different. Damian (#1 momma's boy) is sucking up to her even more. So when she does announce it, everyone's like "Um we've known for a long time now..."

the secrecy

Bruce Wayne x reader

Summary: You're not quick to catch your family's sudden protectiveness. So when emotions run high, you're left with a test.

Warnings: the feeling of sadness... and that's it.

"Hmm, hmmm,hmmmm, mmm"

They watched as you danced around in the kitchen, slowly humming a melody you adored and sang to the kids when they were little.

"It's kinda bittersweet, you know" Dick grinned watching you all happy unaware of your stalkerish kids.

"Yeah, and demon spawn here is no longer going to be the baby of the family," Jason smiled devilishly, seeing Damian frown. "How does it feel?" Jason hinted mockingly before cooing at Damian.

"Stop.. teasing him," Tim bantered hysterically, trying to catch his breath, punching Jason in the arm jokingly. It was as if he didn't want him to stop, but he had to show some type of empathy, even if it was fake.

"Look we can all agree that we need to take care of Mom", Dick interrupted hoping to shift Jason teasing off of Damian. They all collectively agree for the first time ever.

𐙚

It began as a simple task, you know. Helping out more around the house.

Which also included becoming a personal chauffeur and suffering through many hours of shopping, making sure you were okay. Because they would do anything for their mom.

You arrived back at the Manor after the long and intensive grocery shopping. You parked the car inside the garage next to your husband's vast amount of cars he liked to collect. You open the trunk, glancing at the amount of grocery bags there are.

Jason heard the garage opening being so close to check to see if his mother was home. On the walk to the garage, the first person he saw was Tim and like any normal circumstance, he dragged him to the garage without any warning.

"Damn it, Jason, a little warning next time", Tim shouted out before harshly yanking his arm out of Jason's grip.

Both Jason and Tim walked out of the garage towards their mother. "Here Ma, we'll help you",

Jason smiled at you before gently grabbing the bags from your hand and Tim who took more bags from the car.

"Oh umm...thanks", honestly in that moment you didn't know how to react. I mean, your kids were usually busy saving the world or with their own lives, but you were thanktul nonetheless.

𐙚

"gosh, my feet are killing me", you groaned quietly to yourself before sitting down and rubbing your feet. "I should probably do some stretches in the morning", You coaxed on the idea. "Ugh I'm too lazy for that", You whined in the throw pillow next to you.

Dick came down from his room, it was as if he had some supersonic senses whenever you were in assistance of help. Also, he had decided to stay in the manor for an extra couple of weeks and then return to the Teen Titans.

"Here Mom, I will massage it for you", Dick grinned, making your heart melt, at the thoughtfulness of your son.

"Thank you baby, but you don’t have to do that", you assured Dick, not wanting to take so much time out of his busy schedule. But all those thoughts quickly melt away when Dick started massaging your feet…you were in paradise.

As quickly as Bruce entered, his mouth was agape at the sight before him. His son massaging his wife feet free…what is he playing at?

"Son, why don’t you-"

Bruce began but was quickly shut down by Dick's interruption. "Dad, I am fine", Dick finished with a glare at his father. Bruce watched his wife be completely oblivious to this interaction. What can you do? Bruce sighed before leaving somewhere…anywhere but there.

𐙚

Alfred was already a big help around the manor. There was really no difference except...

As usual, everyone had dinner together as a family, you set the rule so everyone can talk about their day and get some quality time together.

"This was delicious, Alfred, thank you," You happily exclaimed to Alfred beside you. He made your favorite food.

"You're welcome, Missus Wayne", he politely said as always, refusing to call you by your first name. No matter how much you tried to convince him, these were the times he would refuse.

You had persuaded Alfred to eat with you all, because Alfred was family, no doubt about it. Although it took a long time to convince him to eat with you, because of his constant refusal. But you were not going to take no for an answer this time.

You saw Alfred getting up, so you as well stood up from your seat, hoping to return the favor.

"No Missus Wayne, there is no need to perform such duties", Alfred assured you. But you didn't listen and continued to pick up the dishes and help clean the table.

The kids could not watch you and Alfred do it all by yourselves. "Alfred where do you want these dishes", Jason asked seeing Alfred point in that direction. It became some kind of a family bonding.

Dick and Jason washed and dried the dishes, Tim was moping, Damian decided to you clean the table, and Bruce even helped sweep around.

𐙚

Finally, it was just you, I mean, can you blame yourself, your kids had become a whole new level of weird and protective.

The wonderful movie of Cinderella, you have absolutely adored the movie ever since you were a little girl, hoping to become a princess. You sighed as your favorite part came into the scene. "Gosh, so beautiful", you breathed as Cinderella twirled around and forged a magnificent dress that you only dream of wearing,

Nothing can ruin the moment; you can hardly take your eyes off the screen.

"Hello, ummie."

"Holy fuc-", you let a scream of terror, putting a hand on your chest to regulate your breathing. "Damian, what...what are you doing here?" you asked in between breaths, "we need to put a bell on you", you muttered, groaning slightly.

"I'm here to give you company", Damian flashed his teeth, sitting next to you on the couch.

"Oh baby, I um...you don't have to do that", you assured Damian, hoping he would give you some much-needed alone time. You tried to go back to your movie, already missing some scenes, but the piercing gaze watched, calculating your every moment. You found it impossible to pay attention.

"Ummie, would you ever replace me?", Damian whispered. It hurt even more when he whipped his head around, closing his eyes, afraid of seeing your reaction.

You were speechless to think that one of your kids could ever think about getting replaced. You gently grasp Damian's chin, turning it towards you. You can see the pain in his eyes, the same eyes that tried to mask that pain with fierceness.

Why would you ever think that, baby?" you sobbed, holding his hand while trying to keep the tears at bay. But nothing could ever prepare you for this moment. You grasp his body, crushing him towards you, you want to bury him in your chest, to comfort him and you.

"Why do you love me?... I am the offspring of my father and my other mother", he muttered, the pain of hiding the secret longed to leave his body, but the fear of being true weighed more. He couldn't hold it anymore and let the tears fall, sobbing uncontrollably; it was finally the breaking point. The point where he tried to hide it so hard and be the warrior that was expected of Talia.

"Dami, I have loved you since I first met, and nothing will change that", you tried to stop crying but you couldn't because of the pain he felt, he has been living with and holding the burden of not feeling loved. You held more tightly, the movie left forgotten in the night.

Despite your legs and back pain, you carried Damian gently through the Manor, stopping by your boy's room, the feeling of pain and defeat, wondering do any of your kids feel this way as well.

You joined Damian in bed, not wanting to leave him after the heartache you went through. You couldn't let down your children, not again.

𐙚

In the morning, you walked towards Bruce with a mission, you were determined to talk to him no matter his busy schedule.

"Come in".

Bruce was on the side of the room next to your vanity, in front of him a long mirror showcasing his body, as he tied his tie. Bruce saw through the mirror your anger radiating through the room, the tie forgotten as he went to you.

"Bruce we need to talk, now", your voice reaches its peak of authority demanding his attention.

Bruce grasped your hand, hoping to comfort you when you needed it. "Honey, what-", you sobbed out interrupting him before pulling your hand away hoping to hide your face from the shame and misery you had encountered yesterday.

Long, warm arms embrace your figure, drawing you away from the floor and onto the bed. Bruce rubbed your back up and down, hoping to ease your sobbing. "Honey, what happened?" One thing Bruce had learned after being married to you was that he had to be patient.

Patiency was key between you too. He waited till your cries calmed down, only comforting you with physical touch, no words.

"Damian felt like he was replaceable", you broke out after gathering your emotions together.

You held Bruce's hand, clenching his hand as tightly as possible, waiting for his reaction. You could feel your tears running down your face slowing, wiping them away before they could drop.

"I never knew he felt like that", Bruce spoke out in disbelief, his son had felt like for god-knows how long. What kind of father was he?

You both sat silently, knowing the outcome of this situation. Although neither of you spoke, it was almost like a bond was going through you both. You both knew you had to spend more time with the children and understand them. No matter what, they had to be there as parents.

You felt your legs carry you to the bathroom, crouching down towards the toilet. Your face was stained with tears as you vomited, trying to surpass these feelings.

Bruce followed you before crouching with you as he held your hair out of your face. His face was etched with worry, hoping nothing serious was happening. You stop vomiting, and the sound of the toilet being flushed made its way in the bathroom as you grab your tooth brush and started brushing.

Bruce looked under the cabinet hoping to find something to help, his eyes suddenly landed on a pack of tests. Pregnancy tests.

Bruce took out the box, inspecting it, before looking at you. He couldn't help but wonder about the signs he had missed. The vomiting, for one, is emotional, and the cravings.

You could feel Bruce's stare from a mile away, fearing the box he had in his hand did not instigate those stares. "Baby, you don't think...do you?", You were hesitant and all those whirlwind of emotions were coming back.

Bruce took your hand grasping it, assuring you. "Hey just try okay. no harm right", Bruce whispered in your ear before taking your body close to him in an embrace easing the tension.

You only nodded, the words failing to come out. You quickly grab a test before making a beeline to the bathroom. You were anxious, your hands were sweaty, and your nerves were building up as you anxiously waited for the timer to go off.

Bruce held you as much as you would allow him, trying not to show any doubt in his face in fearing of disappointing you. The timer felt slow, a pace so small, 30 seconds left but it felt like the longest 30 seconds of your existence.

Ding

Moment of truth, were you pregnant? As you flip over the test, the breathe you were holding left upon seeing positive. Positive.

"I am pregnant," you cried out, happy tears, sinking to the floor and feeling Bruce try to hold you up. The tears were running wild on your face, as you held the test to your heart.

Bruce could not believe he was going to be a father again. Bruce could not stop his tears from flowing as he smiled so happily, his mouth starting to hurt.

"Oh, baby, we have to tell everyone, you were gasping between breaths at the thought of everyone's reactions, especially Damian. Would this make him angrier? More unloved? If you told the news to everyone.

As much as you wanted to question your decision more, Bruce was already calling out to his kids for a family meeting.

Your arms were crossed to your chest as you whipped your head back in forth, annoyed that Bruce couldn't have at least waited 5 minutes. The only reaction he gave upon seeing the annoyed look was a scratch on his neck before dashing out of the room, like a child.

" A Child", you mumbled to yourself, hearing Bruce laugh from the hallway.

𐙚

All the kids sat in the living room, anxiously waiting why their father to call a family meeting. Which of the kids screw up, who would take the blame, and who would get grounded.

"Alright Jason, you might as well confess", Dick accused Jason. He roughly shoved Jason's shoulder, knocking him off the couch.

In crazy hand gestures, "Why do I always get blamed?!!", Jason yelled out in anger, believing he was being targeted by his brothers again.

"What do you mean...you cause the most trouble", Tim nodded his head at Jason, knowing it was a fact that Jason caused the most fight and stress upon his parents.

"Well...Well, demon-spawn has been silent this whole time, who to say he did not cause this mess-", Jason pointed his finger at Damian hoping to divert the attention away from him.

Damian barely acknowledges him, the silence weighted on the situation at hand. The boys were concerned to stay the least, it was unusual for Damian to be so quiet but for him to show this rare emotion of sadness, it was strange...

Before the boys could ask any questions regarding Damian's state, their parents walked.

"The fuck-", Jason spoke out letting out a audible gasp at the sight. His father was...smiling. "Yeah Dad, hate to break to you, but you look really creepy with your smile, so please stop", Jason demanded, covering his face with his hand, it was a sight to see for sure.

The kids were all shocked to see their parents all smiley and happy.

"could have sworn, someone was going to get in trouble", Tim pointed out with his arm crossing over his chest.

Bruce put his hand out in front of him, silencing the kids.

"We have some news", You smiled practically bouncing on your toes. You couldn't wait to see their reactions, You wanted all the kids to be comfortable with this change, especially Damian after the conversation from last night. It was still replaying like a broken CD.

"I AM PREGNANT!!!"

You looked at the kids seeing some mixed reactions. Jason's face was neutral not a single emotion you could hinder on his face. Dick grinned joyfully at the news clapping his hand excitedly. Tim smiled but the look behind his eyes portrayed many emotions including happiness. Damian was the last face you saw, not because he was the youngest or how he sat farther away from everyone else. No, you were petrified of the emotions displaced on his face.

Damian flashed a quick smile, before rushing up from the couch standing, racing towards you in a bone-crushing hug. You wrapped your arms tightly around your youngest never wanting to leave this fleeting moment. The sight of Damian's tears running freely down his face, stung your heart letting out a quiet sob.

You felt many pairs of arms around you and Damian, the arms of your kids and your husband like a protective embrace blocking out the evils that dare to impair you.

But the moment was quickly interrupted, "Ma, I...no we have to tell you something", Jason nervously wiped his hand on his pants hoping to get rid of the sweat that was building on.

Dick felt a pair of eyes on him, he looked around the room and behind the wall was none of them...Alfred. Alfred looked him dead in the eye, signaling him to confess the secret. Dick looked back at you, pretending he didn't just see Alfred side-eye him.

"Mom we-", Dick began but quickly stopped looking for some help.

"Ummi-, Damian began to speak before...

"Mom, um we've known for a long time now...," Tim finished telling the secret to his brother. Can't count on his brothers to spill the secret to their mother, so you have to do it yourself.

"What..how?!", you exclaimed loudly, tearing your arms out of Bruce's embrace. How could the kids have known before you? Is that why they've been acting differently.

Bruce struggled to comprehend the boy's secret. How could they have known before him? He is the best detective, and he couldn't even tell his wife was pregnant before his own kids.

"The fuck", Bruce spoke out, finally having some kind of reaction and then staring at his kids with all these mixed reactions. It was the first time you had seen Bruce portray so many emotions.

"Master Bruce, please mind your language," Alfred said, coming out from behind the walls like nothing had happened and continuing to dust the manor.

[vortexbloom]

I just had the funniest idea, how would the HSR men react to their child's first word being a curse word, someone cursed while they were near the child.

Sounds Interesting hehe 😉

Btw I decided to pick some HSR men myself, since you didn’t specifically say wich characters you wanted.

But of course, you can tell me if you have a certain character in mind 😘

I also did it a bit different, but I hope you still like it 😅

Your child‘s first word is a curse word (Separate OneShots)

Pairing: Sampo Koski/Boothill/Jing Yuan x Female Reader

Fandom: HSR (Honkai Star Rail)

Warnings: Curse Words, fluff

─୨ৎ────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────୨ৎ─

Masterlist - Honkai Star Rail

Masterlist - Genshin Impact

Moodboards - Genshin Impact

Masterlist - Marvel

Boycott List

─୨ৎ────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────୨ৎ─

English isn’t my first/native language, so there might be misspellings etc.

I do NOT own any Characters !

Have fun reading this :D

It was supposed to be a sweet moment. Your child, barely a year old, had been babbling for weeks, and you and Sampo had been eagerly waiting to hear their first real word. Would it be "Mama"? Maybe "Papa"? Something cute and wholesome?

And then, out of nowhere, your child looked up at you both, smiled sweetly, and—

"Shit!"

Silence.

You froze. Sampo, sitting across the room, nearly choked on his drink. The baby giggled as if they had just said the most normal thing in the world.

"…Sampo." Your voice was dangerously calm as you turned to your husband, who was now failing spectacularly at hiding his amusement.

"W-Whoa now, sweetheart," he said, hands raised in mock surrender, his lips twitching. "Let’s not jump to conclusions. I mean, kids pick up words from all kinds of places…"

You crossed your arms. "And I wonder where our child could’ve possibly learned that one."

Sampo cleared his throat, scratching the back of his head. "Uh… maybe from me? Maybe not? Could be the wind, really! You know, the way words just kinda float through the air…"

Your glare intensified.

Sampo sighed, finally dropping the act and rubbing his temples. "Alright, alright. So maybe I might have, uh, let a few choice words slip now and then." He glanced at your child, who was now happily babbling nonsense, completely unaware of the chaos they’d just caused. "But, hey, at least the kid’s got good pronunciation, huh?"

"Sampo."

"Right, not the point." He grinned sheepishly and leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand. "Tell you what—I’ll be real careful from now on. No more bad words from ol’ Sampo. Pinky promise."

You raised an eyebrow. "And what about the fact that our child’s first word wasn’t ‘Mama’ or ‘Papa’ but—"

"Yeah, yeah, I’ll make it up to you," he said quickly, waving you off before picking up your child. "Alright, little buddy, let’s try something else. Say 'Dad-da' C’mon, you can do it."

Your child blinked up at him, then grinned mischievously.

"…Shit!"

Sampo snorted, immediately turning away so you wouldn’t see him laugh. You groaned, burying your face in your hands.

This was going to be a long parenting journey.

The evening was peaceful in your little home, a rare moment of calm. You were rocking your child in your arms, their bright little eyes staring up at you as they cooed and babbled. Boothill sat nearby, his hat tipped slightly forward, watching with his usual laid-back grin.

You had been waiting for this moment for weeks. Your child had been making little sounds, but now…now was the time for their first real word.

And then, with the sweetest little voice—

"Damn."

Silence.

You slowly turned your head to look at Boothill. He blinked once, then pushed his hat up slightly to meet your stare. "Well, I’ll be damned."

"Boothill." Your voice was a warning.

He chuckled, shifting in his chair. "Aw, c’mon now, sugar. That’s a mighty fine word choice for a first, don’tcha think? Real strong. Real decisive."

"Booth, our child’s first word was a curse word," you said, exasperated.

He tilted his head, smirking. "Technically, 'damn' ain’t that bad. I mean, coulda been worse. Coulda been somethin’ I say when I get real mad."

You pinched the bridge of your nose. "Where do you think they even heard that from?"

Boothill leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Now, darlin’, we both know who they got it from." He tipped his head toward himself with a smirk. "Ain’t no use pretendin’ otherwise."

You shot him a glare. "And you’re proud of this?"

He laughed, standing up and walking over to you. "A little," he admitted, placing a hand on your shoulder. "But, tell ya what—I’ll make sure their second word’s a little more…parent-approved."

Boothill then leaned down to your child, who was still staring up at him with innocent curiosity. "Alright, sugarcube, how ‘bout somethin’ different? Try 'Mama.'"

Your child blinked, gurgled, then—

"Damn."

Boothill let out a deep chuckle, shaking his head. "Well, shoot. Looks like this one’s got my spirit."

You groaned, covering your face with one hand while Boothill, entirely unbothered, took the baby into his arms. "Ain’t no worry, sweetheart. I’ll teach ‘em all the right words. Just…might take some time."

You sighed. You should have expected this. Raising a kid with Boothill was bound to be interesting, to say the least.

The grand hall of your home was unusually quiet, save for the soft crackling of incense and the distant hum of Xianzhou’s city life. Jing Yuan sat beside you, his long silver hair slightly tousled from a day of work, his golden eyes half-lidded with relaxation. Your child, nestled comfortably in his lap, babbled happily—small, incoherent sounds that made your heart swell.

For weeks, you had both been waiting for this moment. Jing Yuan, ever the patient and composed general, had taken his time encouraging your child to speak. He had whispered gentle words, taught them simple names, and had even placed small bets with you on what their first word would be.

"Perhaps it will be 'Daddy' or 'Mommy,'" he had mused one evening, a lazy smile on his lips. "Or maybe something amusing, like 'nap,' given how much they see me resting with them."

And now, finally, the moment arrived. Your child looked up at him with bright, eager eyes, opened their tiny mouth, and said—

"Fuck."

Silence.

You stared. Jing Yuan blinked. The baby giggled, seemingly proud of themselves.

"…Hm." The general cleared his throat, adjusting his grip on the child as if that would somehow reset reality. "I see."

You pressed your fingers against your temple, exhaling sharply. "Jing Yuan."

He turned his gaze towards you, his expression unreadable—except for the unmistakable glint of amusement in his eyes. "Now, my dear, let’s not be too hasty in placing blame."

You crossed your arms. "Who do you think they learned that from?"

He sighed, but his smirk betrayed him. "Admittedly…there may have been a few instances where I expressed my frustration in less-than-graceful terms."

"Oh? A few instances?"

Jing Yuan chuckled, shifting your child so they were facing him properly. "My little star," he said softly, his voice full of warmth, "how about we try something else? Perhaps 'Daddy'? Or 'Mommy'?"

Your child tilted their head, as if considering, before gleefully repeating, "Fuck!"

Jing Yuan, the great and respected Cloud Knight General, sighed in resignation. "This…is quite the predicament."

You smirked. "What happened to all that wisdom and patience? You look defeated, General."

He let out a deep chuckle, placing a hand over his forehead in mock exhaustion. "This may very well be my most humbling battle yet."

You reached over, gently taking your child from him, shaking your head with amusement. "Well, you get to fix it."

Jing Yuan smiled, watching as the baby clung to you happily. He leaned back, arms crossed, eyes twinkling with something unreadable.

"Of course," he murmured, voice filled with amusement and something softer—something utterly devoted. "But regardless of the words they choose…they are still our greatest treasure."

And despite yourself, despite the chaos and the mischief, you couldn’t help but agree.

© 2024-2025 vortexbloom all rights reserved. Don’t repost, edit, translate or plagiarize my work!

Have a good day/night/evening/morning/afternoon ☼꥟☽

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

The pandemic did things to me, man.

Like I know this isn't a new revelation or anything but it hit home to me in a way it otherwise wouldn't have, that there's not so much evil in the world dooming us as there is apathy. People who don't know how to deal with their anxieties dealing with them by deluding themselves into believing it's not actually a problem.

I don't watch much apocalypse media, but since the pandemic, every time I have, I haven't been able to take it seriously. Oh, you're 2 years into a zombie apocalypse and people are running amuck?

No they're not. They're living their lives normally, told by the government first that the problem is overblown by the media, then that we just have to learn to live in this new reality with zombies. Anyone who gets bit, they turn their noses up and say they just weren't fast enough and that was the real problem. They're putting diluted bleach in cute little spray bottles and spritzing themselves occasionally, saying that that keeps the zombies away, even though there's no scientific proof of that. They're putting essential oils on festering zombie bites and going out in public in complete denial that they are going to lose their sanity any minute; they consider it rather gauche to mention if they've been bitten by any suspiciously monstrous individuals lately.

There's a medicine that makes you more resistant to zombie bites, but a bunch of people don't take it because they think it turns you into a mutant. They say your body can fight off zombie bites naturally - that's how it's made. The science disagrees with them on both points.

They went out and bought all the canned beans in the world during the first 3 weeks of this, but then they got tired of the anxiety and decided to ignore it. They're trying to "rebuild" "after" the zombie crisis, ignoring the fact that. There are still zombies. The rebuilding efforts are not going well because, well, the problem is still here.

Sensible people who know that there's still a zombie problem have come to the realization that nobody is going to take care of the zombie problem, and they're expected at work. So they go to their jobs and send their kids to school just hoping that their loved ones survive any chance encounters with a zombie that they might have.

Some people still wear tactical gear that affords some protection from zombies, but it's pretty rare, and sometimes other civilians have negative reactions to that - calling people paranoid or getting angry at being reminded of the danger. Telling them that the chances of a fast person like them getting bitten are very slim. Why bother with the clunky gear? Plus it's not doing your figure any favors.

Most of the people who are too slow to outrun a zombie have already become zombies, themselves. The news runs articles like "worker shortage: 600,000 people stopped working during the zombie apocalypse and they haven't come back. Where are they now?" Like we don't all know where they are. The ongoing risk of zombie assault is resulting in more people who are injured and too slow to outrun the zombies. Plus you can always get caught unawares. But, the government wants you to know that we just have to adjust to a parallel society, with zombies. Might be smart to carry a baseball bat on your person, but you really don't have to; the chances of you becoming a zombie are low.

The stress of the ongoing zombie problem is having a massive psychological impact on people, driving wedges between them and making it difficult for people to have conversations about any topic. Some politicians and corporations are profiting from this. Nobody wants you to mention any of it. They laugh and go, "remember the zombie apocalypse years? That was so crazy."

[gladiatorcunt]

FIND YOUR LOVE | CORIOLANUS SNOW

summary: modern!coriolanus snow thoughts

cw: crack treated seriously vibes, typical coryo warnings, possessiveness/obsessive behavior, piss kink mention, period blood mention, spit kink mention, slight impact play mention, coryo and reader both have double majors because they’re overachievers, plus sized reader implications, drake mention, reader has bunny teeth & hip dips & glasses, talks of carving letters into skin, spying mention, overstimulation mention, images used in social media elements are not an exact represtation of the reader’s gender or image & are more about the vibes, “wife” usage but he’d feminize you no matter what, implications of sejanus playing the long game, 18+ minors dni

word count: 2.4k

requests are open (read the rules first <3)

block & move on if uncomfortable.

do not repost or translate!!

Unaware rich kid because while a tragedy did happen in the family (his mother dying in childbirth according to his politician father who was later assassinated) nothing happened to really set them back to square one like in canon. He never really has had to claw himself back to the top, he’s just always been on a steady elevator ride to it.

Clumsy in the beginning in the way that he tries to be intimidating. He’s never had to starve so how can he understand its usefulness as a weapon?

Meets scholarship student double major classics and archaeology (minor in philosophy) reader who has only ever struggled.

The type to violently beat someone to near death on a whim and smirk as he’s escorted out of the police station with apologies because his family’s amazing team of lawyers were called.

Definitely part of some Saltburn ass family where you visit and you’re just like “what the fuck?” the things the 1% normalize (there are rumors of his family being cannibals back in the day, they might be a crime family, his high school principal fucked his mom AND his dad) never cease to disturb and confuse you but the gardens are very nice!

Strolls with you through them to seem romantic but also to brag about his family on your second date that he insisted be at his house (he was kind enough to let your first be at his family’s vacation house in the south of France)

Piss kink (creaks the bathroom door open to hold your hand or he leans against the door and stares you down if you take too long), period sex (more the type to eat you out on your period though) spit sharing and smearing, etc. Because of his carefully manufactured image, when he’s in love he just wants to completely let go and be gross and have that he accepted by the person be loves (plus it scratches the possessive itch in his brain by marking you and knowing you’d be too embarrassed to do it with anybody else)

Really only hand spanks you when you’re actively fucking and he’s so caught up in it all, he just grips the flesh of your ass and furiously jiggles it in his hands in between brisk strikes of his open palms and gets caught on your hole accidentally, it gets to the point where you’d want him to hit harder even if you thought you wouldn’t be into it because it’s just so unintentionally teasing.

Unlike the stereotypes, wouldn’t really be into drinking (other than wine because he thinks he’s above the beer drinking peasants) or drugs (other than the occasional line of cocaine 🤭) thinks keeping a clear head while you’re doing evil plotting is important. Typical white college rich boy hypocrisy (keeps you away from it though, even weed because it can kill your brain cells and he likes his bunny smart.)

He WILL carve his full government name onto you like a womb tattoo if you answer his texts 5 seconds after he expects you too. You CANNOT play with him.

Asked you out by leaving a bouquet of roses on your desk every morning with a note like “these are my grandma’am’s roses, and their beauty could only remind me of you 🥺🥹” (he threatened your roommate to deliver them and made sure they did thanks to the hidden camera he also had them put in)

Double major Political Science and Latin, minor in Philosophy but he likes ancient/older philosophy more. #1 “um actually 🤓👆” offender (hell is hot but his body runs ice cold, so he does not care <3) someone says they like philosophy and he goes “name three philosophers other than Nietzsche and Camus. I bet you’re the type to read Kafka too huh? whore.” (/j)

So hot though like modern Coryo has the curls but a touch shaggier. Everyone on campus turns their phones to the side and takes “discreet” pictures and makes those whisper posts like “need me an unhinged crazy jealous psycho possessive bf” but they’re not you so that wish will never come true :)

Say you’re going to McDonald’s, and he will kill you (if you’re from the south and you try to feed him anything traditional you’re used to, his charcuterie board and caviar eating ass will implode)

Another student in class asks you to borrow a pencil & his brain genuinely goes haywire so without looking he sends them the “let’s play a little game I made” TikTok (by the time you look back at him, he’s warmly smiling as he makes sure you see his hand sliding up his thigh)

If you think you’re working after getting your degree (he could’ve made you drop out, be grateful you get to spend more time together this way) then you’ve got a big storm coming (hope you can accept being baby trapped mwah)

He’s your little chihuahua named sparkles that bites people.

Emotional drake listener

The type where if you 99.7% (he will allow some wiggle room) give into his delusion and insanity, it’s nothing but smooth sailing (for you) and sex would still be passionate but never rough. Sometimes he slips a bit, but you just get more family heirloom jewelry and 5 billion sessions of oral as apologies.

On the swim team and runs track (somehow still looks hot no matter what doing those sports, wants you lick all the sweat off his body after he’s done. (he’d do that for you.) has a private yacht and does polo with Sejanus.

You once sat down, opened a package of cabbage leaves and went to town & Coryo knew in that moment that love is not a choice, it’s a curse.

Buys you mountains of clothes (the softest sweaters or the tightest evening wear because he loves how nothing about your body is hidden from him and one of his favorite ways to wind down is to soothe the marks left by the tight clothes digging into the chub of your tummy with his tongue) also loves how much bigger your thighs get when they spread out as you straddle him in one of his buttons up that reaches just under your ass.

Has a garage full of classic cars that he fucks you in and takes you on drives in.

(Insp. by that one video) fucks you on your stomach while cradling your jaw and when he’s done, he’s kissing down your back and all over your ass while hold a hand on the back of your neck. Eats you out upside-down kneeling straight up on the bed, the skin of your thighs spilling between his fingers as he grips them and nearly bends you in half. You don’t really ride him because he uses you like a fleshlight.

Tits guy no matter the size, prefers jerking off over them and covering them in cum over a boob job.

He won’t let you out in it, but you can be his bunny for Halloween since your front teeth remind him of a bunny, he already has the ears and tail waiting for you. That tweet where it’s like “okay everybody my bf’s about to walk in you all have to clap or I’m blowing this whole fucking building up” but that’s him when it comes to you.

Canon era snow is a girl dad, but modern snow is a boy dad, I fear.

Met you when you had just finished checking into your dorm, you were scrambling all over the place and without looking you bumped into the it boy of the school. His hands suddenly curved like shackles around your hips, his fingers subconsciously stroking your hip dips being the only reason you both didn’t careen to the floor from the collision.

“You should be more careful, wouldn’t want you to get a nasty bruise now, would we?” said with an unreadable yet playful tone and a snake’s smile, lips slightly curled up in the corners and a little too many teeth showing to feel truly comforted. His tongue flicks over his canines for a split second.

Smells like Maison Francis Kurkdijan’s baccarat rouge 540 (buzzcut Coryo gives Dior Sauvage vibes)

Matching airpod max sets and lets you put little bows on his.

Impeccable cable management, phone wirelessly charging on the nightstand or kitchen counter until it’s at 100% and doesn’t charge it again until it’s at 1%

Teaches you how to swim if you don’t know how, with a hand curled under your neck and another under your thigh to help you float. But has no problem just lounging with your back on his chest on the deck of his yacht or laying his head on your chest while you read together on the private beach he booked during your trip.

Slowly fingers you while making out with you and massaging your throat with his other hand. His chunky rings make clanging sounds against your pussy, and he smiles into your lips when you whine. He rests his forehead against yours & slowly spits in your mouth when it falls open as he makes you cum over and over until you’re too tired to leave the apartment he bought for the two of you.

Jiggles your tummy rolls when you’re fucking but sometimes, he’ll just casually bite them, loves laying his head on your stomach and when you sleep. He likes to have a firm grip on the chub of your tummy. He also just plays with it, pulls it, and kneads it but occasionally he’ll gently smack it.

NUTS ON YOUR STRETCH MARKS LIKE HE’S ICING A CINNAMON ROLL

Anyway, his grandma’am owns a fleet of flower shops across the country as well as managing the snow family’s gardens, and luckily enough the one closest to campus was hiring when you enrolled!

Pisces sun Capricorn rising Aries mars, stay strong.

Has to look you in the eyes or he can’t cum.

Always keeps glasses cleaner and a microfiber cloth on him so the second he sees you rub your eyes in frustration because you can’t see through them anymore (because in your mind that would somehow fix it) and reach to grab them off your face, he’s snaking his hand out and snatching them up. He doesn’t even give then back to you; he tenderly tucks your hair behind your ears and slowly slides them back on your face. literally booping the center of them with a grin. Also has your custom designed glasses case (with his initials) in one of his bag’s front pockets.

You asked him to buy you the Gojo skin in Fortnite and he grumbled “you already have my information.” But in his mind, he’s like “what does he have that i don’t?” 💀 (he’ll lose his mind when he finds out you like Geto more). Will play with you on a team consisting of the two of you and Sejanus. (so, he can keep an eye on you two)

Has very pretty cum, pearly and so thick you get jump scared when it leaks out because your pussy tries to weakly clench to keep it inside and it just pushes through. Cums less often but when he does its huge continuous loads, humps against whatever part of you he can like a dog and lays his head on your chest.

You could almost argue he likes anal more than anything else. When he eats you out, you run an extremely high risk of him “getting lost” and starting to eat out your other hole. When his dick slips out, he makes you watch while he slaps it against your clit and drags it through your slick to teasingly act like he’s going to push it into your ass.

Kisses his camera when you fall asleep on facetime if you’re apart from each other. wipes his lips afterwards though for sanitary reasons.

For sure the type to go overboard when someone says they want honest advice. Then when they’re on the verge of tears and he’s made everything worse, he goes “that’s just me though, who am I to judge yk? take it with a grain of salt.”

Museum dates but he’s pointing at depictions of goddesses and saying, “that’s you.”

Will drop kick those annoying Sephora kids if you need a certain product that they’re going after.

Y’all are battling for who has more products, your bathroom so is huge but every time you move something’s always falling off the double vanity sink.

If you need an inhaler or an EpiPen or anything like that, he’ll always have one on him. when you need it, his reaction is so fast you almost can’t see it and he tries to hide how his hands shake slightly even if the attack you're dealing with is more minor.

You could tell him you hate coconut and when you go on your fancy little dates to 5 stars restaurants, if your plate has even the tiniest hint of coconut, he’s sending that back with the harshest glare on his face imaginable (“They asked for no pickles!” *Gunshots* vibes)

Gets jealous of fictional characters, you show the slightest interest in a man who’s literally not real and his eye nearly falls out from how much it twitches.

The possessive bf coded TikTok trends you’d make him do would go crazy though like the nails on his dick through his pants one, any princess treatment one, any one where you’re dancing and he has to cover you, “hey daddy” & other text ones.

Alarms every five minutes, not only for him but he wants to be awake at the same time as you for a bit before you have to go your separate ways during the day. (kisses your temple when you slump against him while you try to wake up)

“What’s up, Petal?”

“What’s up, Coryo?”

While he acts like he’s been doing you a favor all this time, he would get you that engagement ring that has a spike going through the finger bone in it, and he would get a matching one <3.

Double penetration with a dildo that’s a replica of his cock 😻😽

Closet bi (childhood crush on Sejanus, who btw has been eyeing you too much for his liking lately.)

Scars on his back from An Incident. shaved his head and dropped out of school for a bit but it wasn’t hard for his family to get him back in

Gives you the worst side eye when you ask him to play Roblox total drama island with you but when Sejanus offers, he’s galloping to his pc (he absolutely kills it, like he’s undefeated and he’s not afraid to bully whatever kids are in the game)

Vibes:

a/n: this is lowkey so cringe but i am free. i hate him (i'd tell him i love him on the first date.) will definitely do more with this verse but have this brainrot for now. hope you enjoyed anyway! btw i'll actually be opening comissions next month. so i'd really appreciate it if y'all would keep that in mind! talk to me about modern coryo or any version of coryo lol.

[lil-dragon-rawr]

TOH x DC Shenanigans: The Beginning of Vigilante Bingo

This is turning into a whole au oops

Part One, Part Three, Part Four

Masterlist

(Red Hood and Luz during the Batfam/Clawthorne & Co meeting, debating over who had the worst death)

Red Hood: psycho clown beat me with a crowbar

Luz: I raise you: eldritch blasted by a four hundred year old slime monster with a dozen eyes that once was human

Red Hood, getting competitive: died because I tried to save my bio mom

Luz, matching his energy: died to save a kid who reminded me of someone I or my little brother could have been

Red Hood: beaten with a crowbar, then blown up and asphyxiated

Luz: eldritch blasted, then slowly decayed in front of my found family I had just reunited with

Red Hood: my dad got there just barely too late to save me

Luz: dissolved into light, making me question the symbolism of my own name, then floated to the Archives and made my mother cry while she was a puppet (sorry Maman)

Red Hood, not quite sure how to respond to that:

Red Hood: kay but I wasn't even old enough to legally drive

Luz: oh how old were you?

Red Hood, thinking he's winning: fifteen

Luz: fourteen! Ha!

Red Hood: *groans loudly*

Batman, looking on in horror: there's two of them now.

Luz: okay but how'd you come back

Red Hood: well first I dug myself out of my own grave

Luz, immediately accepting defeat: ohhh snap, that sucks dude

Red Hood: yeah, then I got kinda-sorta kidnapped by assassins and dunked in a revival goo pit

Luz: that's the smoothie extravaganza you were talking about??

Red Hood: yeah, but anyways how'd you come back?

Luz: well I almost drowned in between dimensions but the Titan saved me and sent me back with a powerup!

Red Hood: okay literally chosen by a god, pop off

Luz: he revived me with the sole purpose of killing that moldy onion of an emperor

Red Hood, delighted: you killed a guy? An emperor, no less?

Luz, trained by her mom to not accidentally incriminate herself: technically, the rain killed him

Eda, offended: excuse you, I helped!

Robin, still surrounded by palisman: I assume your familiars are magic, given they can turn into wood. How did you acquire them?

Hunter, smiling and kneeling down to Waffle: that's the thing. Palisman and witches have to form a mutual bond.

Robin: ...and how does one do that?

Hunter: well first you have to carve a palisman!

Robin: so they're originally wood?

Hunter: yeah, it's tradition! There used to be a bunch of stray palisman living in the woods, but they've all made new bonds, and the palistrom forests are recovering!

Robin: ...hm.

Hunter: once you carve a palisman, you have to tell it your deepest wish. That's how the bond is formed

Robin, scoffing: sounds childish.

Hunter, smiling softly: it's a lot more difficult than it seems. Luz took months to bond with Stringbean

Robin, crossing his arms: perhaps because she is indecisive. I am not.

Amity, coming over to sit with Ghost: Hunter's right. I thought I knew what I wanted, but all I knew was what my parents wanted for me. My palisman wouldn't wake until I said I wanted to choose my own path, whatever it may be :)

Robin, who doesn't know what he wants no matter what he claims: *having an existential crisis but pretending he's just brooding*

(Barbara and Amity grabbing coffee after work)

Barbara, pretending she doesn't know all the lore: so how's your gf doing

Amity, completely unaware: she's great! :)

Amity: we're winning bingo :D

Barbara, sipping her latte: oh?

Amity: it's partner bingo so we're on a team! We both scored a point the other night so we're beating everyone else!

Barbara, pretending she doesn't know it's vigilante bingo: fun! What's it about?

Amity, trying not to reveal lore to her very normal coworker: it's, uh, tourist challenges

Barbara, narrowing her eyes: mhm.

(Vee, Luz, and Hunter get cornered in an alley after they accidentally wandered* into the middle of a turf war)

*It was Luz. Luz wandered.

Luz, sprinting towards the dumpster Vee and Hunter are hiding behind, bullets pinging off the walls around her: uh oh uH OH UH OH

Vee: hang on I have an idea! Hunter, get me to the roof

Hunter: aye aye! *grabs Vee and blips up the wall*

Vee: *shapeshifts into Batman* I'm gonna scare 'em

Oracle, eight minutes later: hey B, you weren't by the 7/11 in broad daylight just now, were you?

Bruce, looking around the board meeting he's in: ...no.

Oracle, running on coffee and sheer willpower: *rests her face in her hands* yeah, didn't think so

Willow, going to spend the night at Ivy's: Pam you will not beLIEVE the night I just had

Pam, who just opened the door and is so ready to hear the news: spill!

Harley, draped over the couch like she's in a Victorian painting: oh my gosh did Bats finally try to interrogate you?

Willow: no!

Willow: well yes but that's besides the point

Willow, throwing herself facedown on the couch: Luz and Amity got two more points in vigilante bingo!

Pam and Harley: *gasp*

Spoiler, crawling through the Clawthorne's window: hey Owl Lady I brought you caffeine

Eda, mildly disgruntled: uh why are you breaking into my apartment?

Spoiler: can I pay for a moment of your time with coffee?

Eda: depends, why are you breaking into my apartment?

Spoiler: sooooo I was kind of hoping to learn some magic to mess with my siblings and you said you were the most powerful witch for a while?

Eda: *deep, deep sigh*

Eda: gimme the coffee

Spoiler: :D

Eda, chugging half the coffee straight: you know, if I had a snail for every time a human with an affinity for purple wiggled their way into my living space and begged me to teach them magic, I'd have two snails

Eda: which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice

Eda, finishing the cup and tossing it in the trash: anyways, thanks for helping me get another point in vigilante bingo

Spoiler, immediately invested: oh?

Spoiler, back at the Batcave: hey did you know Clawthornes & Co are playing vigilante bingo?

Red Robin: yeah they mentioned it the other night

Spoiler: well Eda just showed me the bingo card

Red Robin: okay, and?

Spoiler: and I think we should meddle

(King, Vee, and Hunter, volunteering at an understaffed and underfunded orphanage (welcome to Gotham))

Jason, walking in for his own volunteer shift: *staring at them*

Hunter: oh hey, you must be the other guy the manager mentioned!

Vee, who can smell magic: *freezes*

Jason, who knows she can smell magic: *narrowing his eyes*

Vee, who knows he knows she can smell magic, realizing she now has to keep his secret identity from everyone: eep.

Vee, an hour later, realizing she can't even get a point for this in vigilante bingo without revealing his secret identity: oh come ON

(Gus gets a temp job as a news anchor because the last anchor left due to...conditions...)

Gus' boss (idk how tv news works lol we're just going to call him Gerald): so you're willing to be our new field anchor? (I reiterate idk how news works please forgive and correct me as needed)

Gus, unaware of the "conditions" the last anchor left because of: yep! :D

Gerald: great, kid. Here's a mic and a complimentary gas mask. Have fun

Current Standings for Vigilante Bingo:

Lumity:

Luz gained the competition point by arguing that the rules never specified the competition had to be something vigilante-related (and she beat Red Hood at trauma dumping).

Huntlow:

Though Amity joined the conversation about palisman, the council declared Hunter to be the only one responsible for defusing Stabby Robin.

Gus and King:

Gus tried to get Red Robin's autograph, but Red Robin refused.

Eda and Vee:

Upon discovering Signal was about to rescue King, the council allowed Eda to claim the "be a hero before a vigilante can" square.

[ladyhallen]

Solving the Wonder Woman Problem

So, for the past few days, I've been reading DC (specifically batman) and PJO crossover.

Let me preface this in that I only vaguely know people's origin stories in DC and that I mostly know PJO, even if slightly faded since I haven't read it in a while. I'm basing Wonder Woman's origin story from the movies.

Now, it's a delicious crossover. There's heroes (JL) and then there's Heroes (PJO Demigods). These nice, morally upright people might also have some opinion on the survival rates on demigod children, child neglect, etc. And there's also the potential hilarity of these two worlds interacting, because some abilities these kids have are just straight up terrifying and we need some normal people reactions to this shit.

But, and it's a small but, I've noticed a glaring issue.

And Yes, it's Wonder Woman.

Look, in Diana's origin story, she was crafted from clay, given life by Zeus himself and stuff. Okay, cool.

However, if both these worlds exist in the same plane of existence, it also presents a problem. Because why would Diana, who left Themyscira (who has her mother, and her sisters and was basically paradise) to fight for the good of the world of man(which, arguably, is not paradise. It's very far from it.), leave these underaged heroes to fight two wars with basically no support? Hmm?

Most authors I've found, would either do the following:

Make Diana unaware that the demigods exist, which. HMM. Sus.

Make Diana Not Care/Not Realize that the Second Titanomachy and the Second Gigantomachy was actually the war these kids were fighting.

Make Her be OffWorld at the time. (Which I haven't seen many people do?

You can see the problem.

Solution:

The Romans.

No no, don't boo. I'm not done, I'm not crazy, I have a point!

Let me Just paint the scenario for you.

It's WWII, and Diana is newly arrived to the World of Man, and she decides to fight in the war.

In the PJO books, it was said that the involvement of the demigods caused the war to escalate to crazy proportions, so it's not out of left pocket for Diana and some demigods to meet, do the spiderman pointing meme, and then realize some truths here.

But here's the thing.

What if the demigods she meets are Roman demigods?

Think about it. Those Roman kids thrive on structure. On orders. On following rules. There's only two ways a kid raised on that kind of environment would go. One, they would go completely the opposite way and be a wildcard and follow no rules, or Two, they would find comfort in the rigid structure of rules all their life.

Ergo, Roman demigods would mostly thrive in bootcamp and would probably excel at it. And then Meet Diana.

They become friends, etc, etc. It's a whole montage of two people realizing that they can relate to weird upbringings. Gotcha. (I mean, their demigod children, if not up to standards, are eaten by Lupa, WTF)

Now, how would the Romans lead to Diana not wanting to get involved in demigod affairs now?

Let's see, they called their city in Camp Jupiter New Rome. What did Rome have? A lot of assassinations, backstabbing and power grabbing. There were schemes and shit. Octavian was not an outlier, he was probably the mouthpiece a lot of discontented people in the senate.

In the PJO lore, it was said that the American Revolution was devastating to both camps, because they didn't get a long and it was implied that the Original Festus fell because the camp was invaded. Thalia's tree didn't exist yet and so the magical border of the camp didn't exist either.

Bunker Nine's existence indicates that perhaps each of the gods have their own separate buildings. Maybe Cabin 6 had a library rivaling Alexandria, maybe Cabin 12 had a vineyard and sold wines. Who knows, perhaps Cabin 3 had a waterpark to help troubled ocean animals.

But the thing is, Bunker Nine's existence can stretch that to maybe, New Athens existing. Maybe there used to be a space for Greek demigods existing. Maybe that space was destroyed when the Romans invaded.

What makes the Roman-Greek war so hard and devastating, is that both sides have advantages and disadvantages over the other.

The Romans have a clear line of command, structure, they recruit from legacies etc. It also means they don't really think on the fly once command structure is broken.

On the other hand, the Greeks are descended more closely from the gods, and thus have stronger powers. They also don't always get along and sometimes work at cross purposes when irked (see, Apollo Cabin and Ares Cabin in TLO).

Enter Diana.

Look, I know I know that people's memories were erased so that both camps didn't know of the other's existence and that the American Revolution was entirely earlier than World War 2, but memories being erased doesn't erase entirely written records. War has transcripts, logs and maybe someone left a diary. Maybe someone figures it out. Maybe there's a second to the last Invasion of Camp Half Blood.

Picture this, one enterprising Roman Senator invites Diana during the invasion. Someone uses the Mist on Diana so she doesn't realize that she's fighting children.

Once the fighting ends and the haze of battle disappears, Diana realizes that she's devastated New Athens to rubble and weeps, realizing that she's been used.

Then and there, Diana swears on the River Styx that she won't interfere in demigod fights unless the gods themselves order her to.

This doesn't stop her from making safe spaces for demigods, but fighting for them? NOPE. Unless there's a direct order form on high, she won't do it. She's learned that lesson. She won't do it again.

Now, in the TLO, during the second Titanomachy, demigods do try to contact her, but she ain't falling for that again. No sirree. Chiron does a facepalm like, right, I forgot she swore on the Styx. He explains. The kids are devastated but understand. Lots of resentment, but they understand.

Now, the gods are lowkey aware of her, and that she could help. They assumed she would help. But they are not aware of her oath and are doing the pikachu surprised face when they seal Typhon and find no Diana helping the demigods defend Olympus.

I'm just saying. It's the Romans fault.

[wildrangers]

Hii, i have a matt smith fic idea, wherein it's matt's birthday and the reader have the most precious gift to him like she gifted him a box with a positive pregnancy test in there and matt's reaction is priceless and their dogs are also happy wiggling their tails and kissing them, just them having a precious moments

Hello anon, thanks so much for the request! 

Tropes & Topics: pregnancy, fluff

Word Count: 1K

Your heart’s in your throat as you gently place the bow on top of the final gift you’d prepared for Matt’s birthday. Gift giving is one of your love languages, so you’d been planning what to get him for months. What ended up being the biggest gift, however, was an unexpected surprise for both of you.

You and Matt had gotten engaged at the end of August, so the discussion of family planning had obviously come up. Both of you were open to kids but were also comfortable not having them; you used protection but, clearly, that wasn’t foolproof. You hoped this would be a happy  surprise for him as it had been for you once the shock wore off. 

You hear the door open, Matt’s gentle voice and the clack of Billy’s nails on the flooring drifting towards you in the kitchen. You take a deep, steadying breath as you stand up, ready to greet them since you’d been out all day at work. 

“Love?” he calls.

“Kitchen, darling” you respond, rearranging the stack of gifts next to his chocolate cake. Billy charges in and you kneel to greet him, scooping him up in your arms. 

“I should have known better” Matt grins at you, taking in the scene before him. “You’re incapable of not going all out for a birthday, even when you say you won’t.” 

“But it’s what you love about me, right?” you reply smiling, heart steadying as he wraps you in his arms, head resting atop your own.

“Of course, darling. Now, which one is the finale?” he questions before giving you a brief, sweet kiss. Since you love gift-giving, your tradition for every holiday or celebration is to allow Matt to pick any order for opening his gifts except the one you were most eager for him to have–that’s saved for last. 

Billy squirms so you place him on the ground before pointing out the oblong, newest addition to the stack, “Purple bow is last.” 

He nods, tearing into each gift and showering you with thanks and affection for each new item revealed to him. “Okay, last one” he looks at you, brows raised, as he gently shakes it, pretending to try and guess what’s inside, “Maybe a watch based on the shape?”

“It’ll certainly last you a lifetime” you reply and his head quirks in curiosity as he removes the wrapping paper. Any semblance of calm you’d managed to gain leaves as you tuck your hands into your sweatshirt pocket to hide their shaking.

He shoots you a playful look as he jokingly, painfully slowly raises the lid of the box, completely unaware that his dramatics, normally endearing, are skyrocketing your pulse even further. You force a smile but he must read something in the expression as he reaches for your hands that are safely tucked away from him. He looks at you uncertainly and you just nod towards the box. It’s always amazed you how much you two could communicate through looks alone. 

His eyes widen as he removes the pregnancy test from the tissue paper and you note the slight quiver of his hands. “Love?” he questions softly, eyes not leaving the item in his hands. 

“Hopefully a happy birthday surprise?” you say quietly, your voice breaking slightly on the final word. 

His eyes shoot to yours and he quickly pulls you back into his arms. “Of course, my love, the happiest surprise” he promises and you feel your shoulders loosen, tears gathering as you burrow into his chest. “I’m sorry I worried you, I’m just shocked.”

“Well, that makes two of us” you joke, pulling away slightly to look up at him, his arms still firmly around your shoulders. You two stare wordlessly into each other’s eyes for a moment before a huge grin splits his face. “What?” 

“You’re going to be the mother of my child” he whispers, almost in awe, and his hands move from your back to cup your face gently as he kisses your brow. “You’re going to be an incredible, incredible mother.”

You’d successfully fought back your tears but his statement pulls a quiet whimper from your throat as tears cascade down your cheeks. “You’ll be an even better father,” you reply, equally quiet. 

The grin never leaves his face as he gently kisses away each of your tears. “When are you due?”

“Late May” you smile, watching as he calculates the possible conception date based on that. 

“You’re joking” he laughs, pulling you into his chest again. 

“I’m not” you giggle, hugging him tighter around his middle.

“Our engagement celebration was a wild evening” he acknowledges and you nod, laughter erupting from your throat at the memory. He pulls away and drops to his knees before you. He carefully lifts the hem of your sweatshirt and you take it off completely, leaving yourself in just a crop top.

You watch as his hands reverently rise to your stomach, gently caressing just below your belly button before he closes his eyes and presses a series of soft kisses to the area. More tears rise to your eyes but you blink them back, wanting to imprint this memory into your very being so you never forget it. He lays his cheek on your stomach and you stay that way for a few breaths, soaking in this joyous, intimate moment. As you run your hands through his hair, you feel wet spots developing on your skin. “Matt?”

He looks up at you, eyes glossy, his smile somehow even wider. “We’re having a baby.”

“We’re having a baby” you confirm and he leaps up, lifting you off your feet to spin you around. You clutch his shoulders giggling as Billy yips around your ankles, swept up in the excitement. “We know, Billy, sorry, first human baby.”

“Oh shit, I shouldn’t be swinging you about!” he realizes, placing you back onto the floor, steadying you as you laugh more. 

“I’m fine, Matt, just don’t throw me and I’ll be fine…we’ll be fine.” 

“We have to tell everyone” he says eagerly, reaching for his phone.

“Babe, can we please eat cake first? I’ve been craving it all day.”

“Of course, my love, anything you and little one desire is yours.”

[psychedelic-ink]

ㅤㅤㅤ✦ 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄

ㅤㅤmike schmidt x nanny!f!reader

genre: smut, minors dni, mutual pining, hurt/comfort

word count: 3.5k

summary: juggling your role as abby's nanny, tensions rise as mike's fixation on the past leads to a heated argument between the two of you. unspoken emotions linger, pushing both you and mike to the breaking point.

warnings: some arguing, tension, piv, oral (reader receiving)

**dividers made by @saradika xx

A soft knock is enough for Mike to stir in his sleep but not enough to wake him. Abby is drawing happily in her room, content for now after you bribed her with chicken nuggets and a lengthy story time to come after. She’s been missing Mike. And she’s been wanting to go to work with him. You’re not sure how much longer you can tempt her to stay at home instead of going to the pizzeria. 

You close the door, a soft click following suit. He’s still sound asleep, completely unaware of your nearing presence. He asked you to wake him up. But it’s hard when he looks so peaceful. The sounds of birds and crickets reach your ear. You sigh. How long was he going to chase the past?

“Mike,” you say gently. “Time to go.” 

His brows furrow, a murmur falling from his lips. With a smile you shake your head, the bed creaks as you take a seat. “Come on dummy,” you pinch his cheek and his eyelids flutter. “You’re going to be late.”

“So close,” he mutters, his head moving to rest on your lap. Your heart jumps. All you want to do is thread your fingers through his hair and keep him exactly where he is but you know it’s not likely. As soon as he’s fully awake he’ll pull up his walls. “Can you help me take off my poster from the ceiling?”

As he talks his lips move above your thigh, the soft fabric of your sweats leaving little to the imagination. “Why?”

“Gonna take it to work,” his voice is hoarse with sleep. 

A sudden annoyance prickles over your skin, heat building in your stomach— Again with the dreams. Again with wanting to change the past. You’ve been working for him for months now (though can you really say you’ve been working for him when he hasn’t been paying you?) and he’s always been the same. You understand. You really do. But Garett isn’t here anymore, Abby is—you are. 

“No, Mike,” you say, your eyes following his sharp jawline dusted with a bit of stubble. He stirs a bit, legs moving underneath the covers one leg pops out. You swallow. It’s unbelievable the things he doesn’t notice about the people around him. His eyes finally open and you lean back, you’re not a fan of the angle. “Look, the poster is on the damn ceiling. What do you want me to do? Carry you on my shoulders?” 

“I was thinking the opposite.”

“Whatever you have in mind my answer is still no,” you eye the book on the bedside table. “You shouldn’t be sleeping on the job, you know that.”

“It’s called decorating,” he answers with a hint of annoyance laced into his voice. Well, he’s not the only one. He peels himself away from your lap and leans against the wall, you miss the heat of him already. “Besides what do you care about what I do during the job?”

“That place gives me the creeps. I’d prefer it if you’re fully awake.”

Mike sighs and stretches, the soft fabric of his shirt sliding up, a sliver of skin shows. Your knees brush against one another. It almost feels like you’re kids just hanging out with the parents still sleeping. It’s reminiscent, in a way. He runs a band over his face. 

“You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Too late for that.” 

“I’ll pay you with my next paycheck promise.”

You turn to him, eyes narrowing, “Don’t change the subject. You know I don’t care about any of that at this point. It’s been months, Mike. I would be gone if that was what I only cared about.”

He seems distraught by your answer, even more so than normal. “I... I know that. But you're always here, looking after Abby, taking care of the house. . . I want you to have a life and not be stuck here for Abby’s sake.” 

Ouch. Have a life? You don’t think Mike realizes that he basically shoved a knife in your chest. 

You slide off of the bed, your heart beats quick, a bit too quick for comfort. “Sorry that me helping out is a sign that I have nothing better to do,” you snap. You hear the start of an apology escaping his lips, both feet touching the ground as he contemplates if he should get up or not. “And if you’re so guilty about me being here maybe you should be here yourself.”

The regret settles even before you leave the room. You know he’s going to be thinking about what you said and twist it into the worst possible meaning his brain can fathom—which can be quite dark knowing Mike. 

You’re halfway down the hall, heading to the kitchen when Mike catches up to you. He takes hold of your wrist, slightly tugging you back until he’s got your full attention. You give it to him. Eyes fluttering as you find it hard to look into his eyes. He’s too expressive. You hate being able to see every emotion flickering in them, and likeways you’re scared he can read you just as clearly. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” 

Oh, you’ve never heard him this mad before. Your eyes drop to where he’s holding you, his fingers an iron vice around your wrist. Your pulse races, the tips of your ears warm. His gaze follows where you’re staring, you expect him to let go but he doesn’t, instead, he squeezes harder, his thumb following the vein on the inside of your wrist. “Is this why you’re here? To play hero to my life?” 

Your eyes narrow, “Fuck off, Mike,” you yank your wrist away, a bit of skin catching on his nail. It stings. “Just go to work. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

You had just dropped off Abby to school and promptly doing the dishes before you head out. You didn’t need to wash the dishes perse, but you were hoping Mike would show up before you left. Alas, it was almost noon, and still no signs of him. Not even a phone call. Which he would usually do if he was coming back later than normal. 

You two did end the conversation quite nastily, so you guess you shouldn’t be too surprised that he hasn’t shown up, hoping that you’d leave before he came back. 

A bit too aggressively, you knead the sponge until suds appear. He’s a moron. A complete idiot to think that you were only around just out of pity. His words stung and biting back probably wasn’t the best solution. Shaking your head, you grab a plate and rub it hard enough to potentially peel off the enamel coating. 

“Stupid,” you murmur, finding a bit of relief in letting the words slip. “Stupid, idiot, moron—” 

“You shouldn’t do the dishes if it makes you that angry.” 

Your turn with a jerk, “Mike!” A plate slips, crashing into the sink, without even thinking another cuss drops from your mouth and you dunk your hand into the water to grab it. Just as your fingers graze the sharp pointed ceramic, Mike yanks your hand out of the water. 

“Are you crazy?” he says surprisingly calm, as if he’s to tired to raise his voice or show panic within the words. “Just leave it, I’ll clean it later.” 

Your chest heaves, he holds your wrist vastly differently compared to last night. Eyes wide, you feel the rise and fall of your chest, his gaze momentarily follows the movement before sliding his hand to your elbow. A shudder runs up your spine, your breath coming in short pants, your fingers curl into your palm. 

“Sorry,” he murmurs letting go. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” 

“You’re still holding me, Mike.” He looks tired. The skin under his eyes darker than usual, he even looks a bit beat up. Closing his lips, he swallows thickly and lets go. Your hands are still dripping water, you wipe them dry against your shirt. “Rough night?” 

He shakes his head, “No. Just the normal. Dreams were a bit rougher than usual.” 

“You took your poster then?” 

His lips press into a thin line and he takes a seat. Fighting the urge to close your eyes, you bring out a bowl, milk, and stale store-brand froot loops. His lips tentatively twitch into a small smile. 

“It’s Abby you’re taking care of,” he says. “I can look after myself.” 

“Can you?” 

He ignores the subtle bite in your remark and pours himself a bowl of cereal. He doesn’t eat immediately, letting the colorful hoops sit there for a while, he clears his throat. “I got my paycheck.” 

“Congrats.” 

“I can pay you.” 

“I guess you can.” 

His eyes flash, brows furrowing, “Why are you being so difficult?” 

“I’m—” Once again his words hit a nerve. Difficult. Something you often heard right before people left you. Difficult difficult difficult. “I’m not.” 

Mike shifts and stands straighter, your eyes drift to the cereal—must be soggy as hell now. “I know,” he says barely above a whisper. “Yeah, I know you’re not. Sorry.” 

“It’s fine,” You lie. “And about the other thing, you can pay me later. Get Abby a new set of crayons, she’s going so fast through those things that I’m scared she’s just swallowing them,” you smile weakly as you get up. “I’ll be back before your shift, okay? And I think I should take some time off for a little while.” 

“What?” Mike stands up with you, his shoulders rise, the muscles in his jaw flexing. “Why? Is. . . Is it because of last night? I’m—”

“You’re sorry I know,” you sigh. “It has nothing to do with you. I just. . . I just need to think for a while. I. . just a day, okay, just give me a day.” 

His demeanor changes, his shoulders drop, his eyes grow soft. He nods and you take that as your cue to leave. You grab your back off the couch and he follows you to the hallway. With your hand around the doorknob, you hear him one more time. 

“I care about you, you know,” he calls out and you swear you hear the bob of his Adam’s apple. “I don’t show it but I do.”  

You don’t know how to answer him without bursting like a bubble, exposing every setting emotion that rolls in your gut. Your fingers tighten around the metal and you nod without looking. 

“Red crayon, please.” 

You roll your eyes playfully, a small smile playing on your lips, “Abby, it’s literally right in front of you.” She just shrugs and extends her tiny palm towards you. “Fine you little artist, here you go.” 

You place the crayon in her open palm, she slowly closes her fingers around it and starts coloring vigorously. With a smile, your eyes move back to the TV, you’re not sure what’s happening on the screen. The picture on the screen blurs a little, static growing and growing until a soft creak of the floor catches your attention. You turn to see Mike leaning against the doorframe. You wonder how long he’s been there, watching you and his sister occupy the normalcy of the living room. 

“Hey,” he says. 

“Hey.” 

Abby doesn’t bother to look up, too entranced in her drawing. Mike sighs as his gaze lingers on his sister. “Abby can you give us a minute?” 

She blinks before she looks up, suddenly startled, her curious eyes flits between the two of you. “Are you two gonna fight?” 

“No, Abby,” Mike answers, exasperated.”We’re not going to fight. Just. . . talk.” 

Surprisingly Abby leaves without much protest. She gathers her things and heads to her room, while walking past Mike, he softly ruffles her air. She sticks her tongue out and glares at him before disappearing completely. His face falls a bit upon meeting your gaze. You pat the empty seat next to you but he ends up sitting on the coffee table instead, your knees brushing together, he levels you with a soft look. 

“She’s going to ask questions you know.” 

“I don’t care,” he says hastily. “I do think we need to talk.” 

“Fine then. . . talk.” 

He seems unsure of himself now, “I know you’re mad about me because of what I said but I didn’t mean it—” 

“It’s not that,” you cut in. “Sure I was hurt, but that’s not what frustrates me about you, Mike. You have to let go. . . of him. He’s gone, Abby’s here.” 

He suddenly stands up, taking you by surprise, heads towards the kitchen. Your pulse rises as your eyes remain glued to the TV. In the distance, you hear him, “You don’t get to say that to me,” he hisses through gritted teeth. “You don’t know what it’s like.” 

You hear the fridge door opening and closing. You know he’s doing it simply to get away from you, from what you’re saying. You follow him, anger warming your cheeks, you find him leaning back against the kitchen counter, knuckles turned white while holding the edge. 

“So just because I didn’t lose a sibling I don’t get to talk about it?” you scoff. “That’s bullshit.”

“You don’t know what’s it like to lose someone and for it to be out of your control.” He’s shaking slightly, shoulders rounding as he speaks. “I need to know who did it. And I’m close, so fucking close.” 

You shake your head and finally, with a burst of bravery, you hold his face between your hands. His mouth closes shut. Your chest feels as if someone filled it to the brim with rocks. It’s heavy and overwhelming. You can barely breathe as you fix your gaze on him. Without even realizing you begin to stroke the apple of his cheeks, you swear he leans into your touch, your bodies growing closer. 

“Listen to me, Mike,” your voice trembles. “If you don’t stop you’ll end up losing everyone who cares about you.” 

His hand closes over yours, “Does that include you too?” 

“What if it did?” 

“I can’t. . .” he chokes. “I can’t stop.” 

You pull away, body feeling chilled in his absence. You blink away the tears, swallow the persistent knot in your throat. It was an empty threat. You know you won’t leave, no matter how insistently you implied that you might. “Then I think you should go. You’re going to miss your shift.” 

“Fuck my shift.” 

You feel the soft touch of his lips. It grows violent, smothering. You moan eagerly into his mouth, your wrist caught between his fingers, he pulls you closer. Mike slips his tongue between your lips and tastes you eagerly. Arousal pools between your legs, your stomach bottoming out as he whimpers and licks himself deeper into you. You melt against him. Your nipples tight and tingling with every lick. 

His hand curls around the back of your neck, the gentle pressure making you break away, “Mike—” you whisper, eyes teary. He licks the seam of your lips and teases your bottom lip with his teeth. Slack-jawed, you tilt your head back, he eagerly dips down and closes his lips around your neck. “Take me to your room.” 

He’s gentle. So painfully gentle that you fear your heart might stop at any given moment. The back of his fingers trace the contours of your body slowly, gooseflesh rising in his wake, he buries his face into the crook of your neck and takes deep breaths as he lifts your shirt. Your eyes roll when his hands immediately cup both your breasts, thumbs toying with your pebbled nipples. The pads of his thumbs smooth over them slowly, it’s almost ticklish. A shiver runs up your spine and you gasp, he sucks the air that escapes your lungs, slanting his lips over yours. 

The seam of your panties gather with slick. You desperately rub your thighs together. Heat blossoms over patches of skin, Mike sucks on your bottom lip and toys with the waistband of your sweats. “Can I taste you?” 

“Yes,” you pant, the thought of his tongue parting you making you near delirious. Your breath hitches. 

He gives your cheek a quick peck, “You have to get on the floor. My bed is too loud.” 

“Just how hard are you planning to fuck me?” 

His eyes darken, “Until you’re a mess.”  

You drop to the ground, Mike following you close with kisses down the column of your neck. Your legs spread and he tugs down your sweats, revealing your soaked cunt. His chest heaves. You follow the movement of his tongue as it swipes over his bottom lip, his thumb dips between your folds and moves up to brush over your clit. Your legs twitch, electricity coursing over your burning skin. 

“You have to keep quiet,” he groans, fingers slipping inside. Your head drops back, your back arches. A violent breath of air rips from your lungs and before it can become louder, you cover your mouth with both hands. “Good,” he murmurs, breath tickling your throbbing clit. Mike tentatively closes his lips around it, sucking, he pushes his fingers deeper. 

Your throat constructs in of itself. Waves of pleasure washing over you like warm grains of sand. The sounds coming out of you are downright sinful and with each thrust of his fingers it gets louder. Your insides clench around him and at the same time he curls his fingers, your eyes squeeze shut, your lips moving against the inside of your hand. Too good. It feels too good. 

Without even noticing you had begun to grind your hips, the sensitive bundle of nerves pressing against his mouth harder. Mike moans wantonly into you, the sound coming out muffled. He moves his head side to side and flattens his tongue over your clit. Your fingers delve into the soft locks as you pull him closer.

He delves his tongue back and forth, rougher this time, faster. Your body goes rigid, forcing you to cry out into your hands as your orgasm takes you over. Sudden sparks of pleasure clash throughout your body, intensifying to unbelievable heights as he plays with your swollen nub. His mouth and fingers move endlessly until you’re gasping for air, shattered remnants of your desperate pleas mashed against your palm. 

Mike glances up, eyes wild yet passionate with a cheshire-cat grin. His lips and jaw are soaked, glistening under the dim light. You feel your entire body motionless. He withdraws his fingers, licking them off one by one, he moves up your body and pushes his fingers between your lips. You swirl your tongue around them feverishly. Your cheeks unnaturally warm and heart thrumming fast against your ribcage. 

He pulls his fingers out, gently cupping the underside of your chin, he rolls his hips. Your breath catches at the feel of his cock against your sopping core, you squeeze his shoulders, nails leaving crescent moons on his skin. 

Mike doesn’t bother to remove his clothes, instead, he slides his hand between your bodies and under his pants, pulling out his dripping cock, he aligns himself with your core. He pushes into you inch by inch, the sounds you make getting louder and louder—Mike covers your mouth with his hand. “‘Gotta keep silent,” he breathes into your skin. 

You nod frantically, your gasp bouncing off of his palm when he bottoms out. A loud groan escapes his lips, eyes meeting yours as his lips part. At the sight you clench around him, a fresh gush of wetness coating his cock.

Mike moves slowly inside you, finding a deep, rhythmic, steady rhythm that carries you towards bliss. His hips sway sensually, his thrusts pushing against the deepest parts of you. His hands tangle into your hair, and his eyes meet yours with a softened gaze. His breath is at your neck, and a guttural moan escapes his lips as he moves against you.

“Does—Does it feel good?” you whimper.

“Feels amazing,” he breathes into your open mouth, hips drilling into you, relentless. “You’re so fucking wet—” 

He guides both of your hands up your chest to your breasts, holding them subtly as you both explore each other’s bodies, his lips finding your neck and shoulders. Your fingers begin to move deftly over your hardened nipples. 

Breaking eye contact, he moves his lips down your neck, pressing them against your collarbone. His hips move faster now, and his hands roam over your body. You squeeze your breasts as a wave of pleasure washes over you, spilling out uncontrolled moans and cries that are subdued by his mouth above yours. He swallows the sounds you make. 

He presses himself in deeper, hips slamming into yours, you feel yourself quickly barreling to the edge. Your eyes tear up and his hand slips away from your mouth, down to your waist. You claw at his back, your toes curling. Mike breathes heavily against your skin, and his thrusts grow desperate. You lock eyes with him one last time before you come undone in his arms, your orgasm crashing around him—He quickly pulls out, making your breath hitch painfully at the loss of contact, he comes over your stomach. Cock sliding over the sweat-soaked skin. 

“Shit,” he grunts. “Fuck—That. . . that felt amazing.” 

Before you can answer he kisses you deeply. His tongue dances above yours, his hips still softly rolling as his cock softens. “Don’t go,” he whispers into your mouth, kissing you again. “Please don’t go.” 

You thread your fingers into the damp locks that are scattered over the back of his head, you tug gently, his eyes fluttering for a moment, a puff of air sensually leaving his lips. 

“I won’t,” you answer, nipping the corner of his chin. “Not sure I could even if I tried.” 

[moonsaver]

I READ YOUR POST (and also anon!) ABOUT REBELLIOUS! VERITAS/RATIO, GOOD LORD..

Your writing is very good! And I like it! I'm having it for breakfast, lunch, dinner, everytime

BUT LIKE, LISTEN TO ME, WHAT IF S/O WAS REBELLIOUS LIKE HIM TOO. But not like actually him, just typical rebellious student back then. Like, breaking the rules, pissing off the teachers, etc

AND, HIS S/O IS LIKE NOW, NORMAL. A PROFESIONAL, and probably embarrassed of their phase back then. I do see them being Friendly and chilled with Ratio?? Or like "Oh crap, it's the old rebellious dude that tries to teach me random smart stuffs"

But in my opinion, I do see S/O just being like "Oh, what's up Ratio" and just being neutral. Greeting him whenever they passed by or see each other again, while also slightly joking about the things Ratio tried to teach them back then. As they told him that they actually listened to his teaching.. Even though it's.. Well, it's used by unsuccessful methods

BUT ALSO, YOU KNOW HOW XINYAN WOULD TELL EMBARRASSING STORIES ABOUT SHEHNE AND GANYU?

S/O WOULD DO THAT, telling Ratio old rebellious phase embarrassing stories to his students whenever they feel afraid of him. Like

"Oh, did you know that your professor (Veritas Ratio), used to talk so much about our teacher that just give the slightest wrong formula, to the point he keeps getting send to the office? Hah! I was there!"

As Ratio stood there with hidden embarrassed look, as he tries to hold the urge to not shut S/O up.

I'M SORRY IF I'M BOTHERING YOU, THE VOICES ARE COMMANDING ME... THE VOICES OF MY SIMPING FOR RATIO.

QNON ANON QNON!!!!YOU ARE FEEDING ME TOO I PROMISE YOU CAN BOTHER ME (its not even bothering me i love these asks),,, THE TENSION THAT IUST DISSIPATWS HAHAHA WAIT WAIT

Under the cut,might be long!

Soso, you're the rebellious kid who's butting heads with the other jerkwad, the only difference between you two is that he's just a nerd on top of being a rebellious kid. He's the "worst" of both worlds.

It's a very cliche enemies to strangers to acquaintances who respect each other to tension between possible lovers. Its kind of funny.

In your student days, I imagine the moment both of you see each other in the hall, you scowl at each other. Or make fun of something the other has. Maybe he's lugging a bulky art project and you make fun of him saying he looks like a turtle dragging his own shell. Maybe you left your bag's zip open and Veritas comments on how "devoid of knowledge" it is, "like your head" (you forgot all your books somewhere, your bag is completely empty). God forbid either of you tried something experimental and the other catches a glimpse of it. If they're not within talking distance, they'll shout on the top of their lungs. To both of you, the louder it is the more humiliation is involved. You'll find this method is often used by Veritas, as he openly quizzes you and chides LOUDLY that you're a BUFFOON and an IDIOT for not knowing a SIMPLE FORMULA. You decide to retaliate by stealing more than half his stationary, so now he has to scramble to gather extras and literally no one helps him cause he's a jerk lol.

Everyone on campus absolutely either hates it or loves it. Theres fanpages of you two with cringe edits,or those really well-made shitpost ones. Sometimes your classmates just bait the other to go a certain place just so you two cross paths and stir up a lot of trouble. The teachers are all done with both of you.

Cut to the future (or present?), reader's a professor too now. Let's assume either of them is unaware when they join the job (as implied by the request).

I imagine professor reader, if they manage to stay calm and just.. talk normally, it does give Dr. Ratio some whiplash. His pride demands he straightens himself out though, so it's not too soon before he himself drones on about some or the other tedious topic. You mention the past and how often you used to butt heads, and Veritas' first instinct is to immediately retaliate the way his past self would have done; but he stops himself in time, and sighs at it. You've painstakingly ingrained that response into him. But he's still slightly embarrassed nonetheless. It's not too soon before the conversation becomes more relaxed (I mean.. considering Veritas,as relaxed as he lets it be), and as a form of "nostalgia" he brings up all the questions he used to ask you back then, only to be pleasantly surprised when you give him detailed but professional answers. It's not too soon before he learns that you've become a professor aswell. Dr. Ratio congratulates you – with reservations of course, which is completely thrown out the window when you tell him you knew all of this because.. you listened to him.

Ugh. Don't make him feel so sappy. A part of him detests it; warming up and being all chummy with a hopeless classmate of all people. But a part of him is.. kind of happy about it.

Which is promptly changed the moment you also realize he's a professor now.

And that his students aren't spared from the nostalgia either.

He's bursting through the door, jaw dropped, angry and shocked face as you prattle on about how much of an asshole he was back in the day to his students. For a moment, he contemplates whether he should just throw chalk at you and make an example of you to his students, or drag you out. After a few seconds of paralyzed contemplation, he immediately grabs you by the back of your collar and drags you out before something else comes out of your mouth.

It's almost the same all over again – both of you bickering back and forth as he's all pissy about you spilling everything to his students! You've positively tarnished his reputation! Perhaps he shall tell your students how you used to walk around wearing a lanyard and a shirt with the institution name written on it in big, bold letters on the first day? Or that time you tripped and faceplanted right into the trashcan while you complained about his (axe bodyspray) deodorant?

Ugh.. he'll just deal with you later. Although he won't admit this even to himself.. it's nice seeing you again. He didn't think of that, it must be the headache you gave him that's making him think all weird.

--

[ghost-1-y]

Nightmare

Incubus!Gojo x AFAB!Reader

Content Warnings: MDNI, dark content, dubcon, stalking, yandere themes, infidelity/cheating, manipulation, possessiveness, sexual content, penetrative sex, oral sex (f! receiving), aphrodisiac, blood sucking, using horns as handles, symptoms of sleep paralysis, feelings of insecurity (reader), mentions of voyeurism (gojo), dacryphilia, degradation, corruption k!nk, gojo feeds off of reader's life force, mentions of potential exhibitionism (reader’s husband might hear them going at it), breeding k!nk, mentions of impregnation, creamp!e, no aftercare, reader's husband is nanami-coded, please let me know if I missed anything!!

Summary: It’s been weeks since your husband had touched you in the way that you wished, and you’ve started to grow tired of his constant flirting with other women at work. Completely fed up with both him and the never-ending dry spell you’ve been going through, you retire to the guest room’s bed to fall asleep without your husband, unaware of a shadow that’s been lurking in your home each night, waiting for the right moment to prey on its new victim.

Word Count: ~3.6k

Divider Credit: @/benkeibear

A/N: Sorry this is an hour late!! I had a super busy week and didn't get to edit/revise at all until today, but I hope it's worth the wait!

Y/N’s POV

You were tired.

Not in the normal sense – you didn’t feel a need to sleep. On the contrary, you found it quite challenging to do so recently due to the never-ending thoughts of your unhappy marriage, as you wondered how exactly it reached this point in the first place. At first, your marriage was beautiful – you were in love, and everything in life was tinted in rose. Your husband treated you as his one and only, his everything, his soulmate.

When are you having kids?

You two look so cute together. 

I wish my marriage was as happy as yours!

Your friends and family would always compliment you and ask you for the latest details of what you and your husband were up to. You were soaring, so happy that you found someone to share your life with. 

But then, he started working overtime at his job, started taking on more shifts, and you’d go to sleep on an empty bed and wake up to his side being cold the next morning – nothing indicating that he was there other than the disheveled sheets that he didn’t bother to fix before heading out again. Your mornings were lonely, and your nights were quiet. You started making dinner for one, rather than wasting food on a meal that wouldn’t be eaten. You tried to be understanding of your husband’s absence, knowing that his job required a lot of him, so you never told him how much it bothered you, thinking it would only add more to his never-ending pile of worries.

It truly felt as though a ghost lived in your home, only ever seeing remnants of life from the half-empty coffee mug or the folded-up newspaper that was left discarded on the dining table. The fridge would be left ajar and the front door unlocked as though he was in such a rush to get to work that he couldn’t be bothered about simple things – relegating those tasks to you, his good little housewife.

Sometimes, whenever a door closed on its own, or you thought you saw something out of the corner of your eye, you’d jokingly call out to your husband in the emptiness of your house. Of course, you’d get no response, and you’d almost laugh at your antics if it weren’t for how your life was slowly turning gray – the rose tint slowly fading the longer you were alone.

However, one night, in your darkened bedroom, you heard a car drive up to your house. You slowly got out of bed, clinging to your sleep robes as you walked towards the window, and you saw your husband get out of the car. Warmth filled your veins as you gazed down at your husband for what seemed to be the first time in weeks, happy that you’d be able to welcome him back home. However, that warming comfort quickly dissipated as the driver also exited the car – a woman, presumably a coworker you hadn’t met – and walked over to him. As you peeked through the blinds, you saw your husband meet the woman halfway, the headlights of the car illuminating the two figures, and his hands sought her face as he kissed her.

Surprisingly, you didn’t feel your heart shatter as one might think – you had your suspicions already that he was seeing someone else, and this only confirmed your thoughts as you closed the blinds and left your shared bedroom, deciding to retire to the one meant for guests who stayed over.

Maybe that’s all I am at this point, you thought as the front door opened, only wishing to sink into the mattress and cover yourself in its sheets as you closed the guest room door behind you and removed your robe. The mattress was stiff and unused, and you stared up at the ceiling as you heard your husband’s heavy footsteps padding their way up to his room, as you became more and more of a stranger in your own home.

You tossed and turned as you walked the line between sleep and wakefulness, your thoughts racing just a bit too much to allow you to seek the comfort of dreams that you knew would never come true, or to notice the slightest creak coming from your bedroom door.

What seemed to be a hand ghosted over your hip, fingers dragging along your sides as you slowly became aware of the strange feeling grazing over your body. You squirmed, thinking it was some strange breeze that came in from the window – before you noticed the heavy weight that was pressing into your chest, rendering you nearly immobile.

“Such a waste to not take care of a pretty thing like you…” a voice drawled, and you opened your eyes – fearing that someone had trespassed into your home, only to find nothing out of the ordinary inside your little guest room. You sighed, thinking that you must’ve been hallucinating – sleep paralysis was a possible explanation, after all.

The voice, however, returned, chuckling in response to your eyes frantically searching for the source. “Oh, sweetie, your eyes can’t see me!” it exclaimed, as though it were obvious, “but I can see you, pretty, I’ve seen all of you.”

Gojo’s POV

You were sweet.

Like candy – if he were able to taste it, anyway. You had an aura about you that lit up any room you were in, one that he’d gaze upon from afar in the shadowy corners of your house, something he couldn’t touch, lest he burn from the light that was your smile. 

He loved watching you – seeing you get dressed (he loved the curves of your body), how you’d cook and clean and make everything look so pretty for a husband who didn’t appreciate it…

He especially loved watching you from one of the shadows of your bedroom as your husband fucked you – his cock throbbing as he watched you being used like the cute little cumdumpster you are, always wondering how tight your cunt would feel wrapped around his cock instead.

He would observe each and every single action because it was you who performed them.

And you looked delicious.

But he couldn’t feast upon you – not yet, at least. Your light was still too radiant, it shined upon everyone and everything and was nearly all-consuming.

So he left – just for a little while, of course. He’d be back for you, you just needed to give him some time.

He interrupted the dreams of one of your husband’s coworkers, filling her mind with lewd images and thoughts of railing your husband to the point where she just couldn’t bear it. So, eventually, she approached him at work – and he initially denied her advances, acting like the good husband he should be – but that just wouldn’t do for the plan Satoru had in mind. 

So he did the same with your husband, and provided him with dreams of fucking that same coworker, how wet and tight and good it would feel to have his filthy cock inside someone else’s pussy. Satoru knew it would hurt you, but it wasn’t completely his fault – you see, it was your husband’s choice to act on his desires, and his coworker’s choice to reciprocate despite knowing he was a married man.

And so your husband started coming home late, but not from work like you’d thought, no. He was arriving home after laying in the bed of another, engaging in an illicit affair that he excused as simply working overtime at the office. You initially believed your husband, but eventually, you developed your suspicions, and your light dulled – which pleased Satoru – because he could get closer to you. He would sometimes even try to alert you to his presence, but that never went according to plan – you’d always call out your husband’s name in response. You were loyal, and that annoyed him to no end because he already decided that you were his. 

He just had to be patient.

Until tonight – he had been watching you from the corner of your room. You couldn’t see him, of course, he was nothing more than a shadow to you. But that fated car had shown up, and as you peeked out the window, the last bits of your light finally blinked out like a dying star, and Satoru damn near rejoiced.

He soon followed you to the guest room, smirking to himself as he opened the door to see you tossing and turning, restless and alone – just how he wanted you.

Because you were his – to claim, to ruin, to feast upon.

“Such a waste to not take care of a pretty thing like you…”

Y/N’s POV

“Who are you?” you asked the darkness, eyes still darting about as you covered your top half with blankets as though that’d protect you from whoever– whatever this was.

“Hmm? Don’t tell me you don’t recognize me! Although I guess I can’t blame you – our bond isn’t quite strong enough for you to see the real me…” he considered, “you’ve called out to me many times before though, sweetie, even if it was by the wrong name – which was annoying, to say the least.” 

If you could see this…thing, you would’ve been able to discern the very obvious pout on its features. But, as its words sunk into you, a chill ran up your spine and every artery, vein, and capillary became doused in fear – realizing that this entire time you’d been joking to yourself about a ghost living in your home, it had been true. 

“My name is Satoru Gojo, sweets, so next time you call out – please use that name instead of the one owned by that disgraceful husband of yours,” the voice insisted, tracing its fingers along your side – a movement nearly invisible if it weren’t for the fabric that moved ever so slightly in response to his hand. 

“How– how do you know about my husband?” you asked, and he laughed.

“Oh, sweetie, you should realize that I know everything about you by now! I know how you take your coffee, how you perform chores around the house,” his voice dropped to a whisper, breathing directly into your ear, “how that husband of yours is unable to fuck you the way you want.”

You shuddered, unable to deny the slightest spark of arousal that nestled deep within your gut, but it did little to quell your fears of this…thing. You didn’t want to admit that he was right about your husband – not even to yourself – but the way he held that woman…

“Oh c’mon, relax. I can smell your fear, y’know – but I’m not gonna kill you!” Not yet. “I want to help.” The lies dripped like honey off of his tongue, sickly sweet as you drank them in. “Close your eyes for me, will ya? I promise I won’t bite,” he smirked.

Hesitantly, you obeyed and closed your eyes, and you felt the softest, sinful touch of his lips against yours – it was dizzying how they caressed you before he slowly entered his tongue into your mouth, causing a burning feeling to slip down your throat – as sharp as alcohol and as saccharine as sugar. Your mind relaxed, with the blood in your veins heating up before that warmth sunk down into your stomach and then lower. Your fear had been eradicated by lust, and as you finally opened your eyes, the being in front of you was one you’d never seen before – a tall, white-haired male, with eyes that deceivingly matched the heavens, who was adorned with wings and horns colored in a dark charcoal. 

“Now you see me, don’t ya, pretty?” he smirked, “I’m gonna take such good care of you – you’ll let me, won’t ya?”

You nodded without hesitation, only desiring more of the euphoric feeling that he seemed so keen on providing you with. 

“Need your words, baby, or else I can’t do anything,” he growled softly, and you squirmed underneath his weight as you forced your mouth open.

“Please,” you begged.

“Please what?”

“Please– please fuck me!”

You felt a sudden rush of cold as the bedsheets flew off of your body, leaving you stark naked on the mattress below you. Still, the cold was quickly replaced by the scorching hot yet featherlight touches of his hands tracing along your body – moving along your sides and then up towards your breasts, which he fondled before kissing you again with those syrupy lips, allowing more of that warmth to spread down your throat and into your skin. The weight on your chest was unrelenting yet pleasant as his tongue slipped into your mouth once again.

His hands toyed with your nipples, pinching and rolling them in between his fingers, pulling a gasp from you as he parted from your mouth in favor of sucking on your neck, licking a long stripe up toward your jaw before biting down just enough to draw blood with his fangs – he needed to feed off your life force somehow – you moaned as a heat spread from where he bit you all throughout your neck and shoulder, a pleasurable feeling which allowed him to drink in more of you before moving on to your tits, sinking his teeth into your nipples as well as he drinks freely from you, lapping up the blood with the flat of his tongue. You cradled his head as he sucked at your breast, encouraging him to keep going as a breathy moan escaped you – because it never felt this good before when your husband would do it. 

“Mmh, yeah? You like it when I play with your tits like this, baby?” he asked, voice muffled against your soft skin. You whined, eyes closed as you arched your back, the euphoric flow of pleasure coursing through you. He could tell you were slowly becoming obsessed with the way he was treating you – he just needed to wait a little bit longer.

“Fuck, so good– never…never felt this good before,” you moaned, and Satoru smirked as he sucked just a little bit more on your tits before traveling down towards your needy cunt.

“That so? Your husband doesn’t know how to fuck you, does he?”

You shook your head, unable to voice an answer as his breath fanned across your sopping pussy. 

“It’s okay, pretty, don’t worry – I’m here now.” 

He delved a single finger into your glistening cunt, gathering up your slick and bringing it up to his mouth to taste you. He groaned as he gathered more of it, forcing his fingers into your mouth, and your tongue immediately lapped at them like a puppy with its owner.

“You taste so good, pretty. So fuckin’ wet for me – such a good slut,” he smirked. He removed his fingers from your mouth before going back down and licking a fat stripe up your cunt, causing your legs to jolt at the touch. He snickered, “bet your husband didn’t know how to please you, bet he never even went down on you, the sick bastard.” You whined in response, causing him to chuckle. 

“Thought so.”

He buried his face into your messy cunt, his nose nudging against your swollen clit as he delved his tongue inside of your hole, licking up all of your juices into his awaiting mouth. You moaned, bucking your hips up into his face before he pinned them down, eating you out like you’re his favorite meal and he’s a man starved. It’s messy as he groaned into your heat, working his jaw as he savored your sweetness. He moved his mouth slightly up to your clit, pursing his lips around it and sucking hard as he probed two fingers into your needy hole, curling them inside of your sloppy heat. Your hands clasped around his horns and you arched your back, trying to push him deeper between your legs, obsessed with the way his fingers and tongue felt while pleasing you.

He pulled moan after moan out of your pretty little mouth, and he laughed to himself as his plan was going oh so well – to make you drunk on the pleasure he gave you until you became fully addicted and obsessed with him, becoming his little cock slut that he can breed and fill with his cum whenever he wanted.

Eventually, the tension building up in your lower abdomen snapped, and a sense of euphoria rushed through you, causing your legs to shake and clench around his head. He groaned, drinking up all of the juices that flowed out of you. Satoru looked up at you as he fed upon your cunt, and grinned as he watched your soul slowly but surely fade through his eyes. 

“I was right to choose you,” he groaned before slurping up the rest of your juices, overstimulating you as your grip on his horns tightened, pleading with him to let up on his ministrations. 

“Feeding me so well, pretty.” He nipped at your inner thigh once before sitting up and grabbing his cock, giving it a few strokes before lining it up with your sopping hole. He rubbed the bulbous head along your pussy, “tell me, how much do you want this cock, baby? You wanna get fucked by a demon like me?” 

You nodded, and if you were any less delirious you might have questioned what he meant by ‘demon’, but you were too far gone to care, simply nodding and begging “please” over and over again.

He slowly pushed his cock into you, grunting with how tight you were wrapping around him. “Shit, pretty–” he sighed, sinking into you until his balls were flush against your ass. He grabbed your legs and pulled them up so your ankles reached over his shoulders before slowly pulling out and plunging back in. His grip tightened on the flesh of your thighs as he started moving faster, his balls slapping against your ass with the force of his thrusts. Your mouth parted and tears fell down your cheeks, only being able to take what he gave you as his dick filled you up to the brim while pounding into your sopping cunt.

“You cryin’, baby?” he chuckled, and you could only whine in response.

“Good.”

He soon flipped you over and got you on all fours, slamming his cock back into you. You wailed as he kept forcing his fat cock into your greedy little cunt – the intensity only building upon itself as you felt your orgasm approaching once more. 

“‘M close…’m close,” you babbled, encouraging him to fuck you harder. Satoru reached around to rub your clit, and you gasped as you fell apart once more, gushing around his cock. Your legs trembled and you fell forward, unable to hold up your weight any longer as pleasure coursed through your veins. Satoru took this opportunity to trap you under him, with his torso flush against your back as he continued fucking into your tight pussy, not caring for how overstimulated you were becoming. 

“Fuck pretty, you love this dick, huh? Cumming all over me like that,” he grinned, his dick throbbing as he continued pounding into you. You nodded in response, but that wasn’t enough for him, so he gripped your chin and forced you to look up at him. “Uh-uh, tell me how much you love this cock, baby.” 

“Uh– fuck! Love– love it! Hah– need…need more–!” you babbled, tears flowing down your cheeks. He placed his hand around your mouth, and your moans became muffled as he dragged his cock inside your messy cunt.

“Shh, pretty, don’t want your husband to hear you getting fucked, right?” he grinned devilishly, “though, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s already heard us – he’s probably stroking his dick to your sweet sounds, the cuck.”

You whined, oddly enjoying the idea that your shitty husband might be able to hear you – you took pride in the fact that he might know that you’re getting fucked better than he ever did with you. You started fucking yourself back onto Satoru’s cock, and he grinned widely – satisfied with how he’s turned you into his little cock slut. 

“Shit, baby– ‘m not gonna last much longer,” he admitted, his thrusts progressively getting sloppier and sloppier as he rutted his cock into you.

“Hah– you want me to cum inside you, baby? Want to get filled with my cum? I’ll fucking get you pregnant, breed you with my seed and turn you into my cumslut – you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Fuck– say it baby, say you want me to cum inside you” he groaned, his dick pulsing inside of you as he reached his end, and you nodded your head.

“Please, please Sa- Satoru–! Cum inside me! Wan’ to be your cumslut! Please!” you begged.

“Shit– ‘m gonna cum, pretty, fuck–” He pushed deep inside you, hips flush against yours as he released his hot seed into your womb, thick ropes of his cum filling you up until it started leaking out of your abused cunt. As he pulled out of you, causing you to whine at the feeling of emptiness that it created within you.

“It’s okay, baby, I’ll be back for you. I’ll visit you every night if you wish, just so you can get your fill of my cock,” and so I can get my fill of your delicious soul, he thought, grinning to himself.

Suddenly, the weight lifted off of your chest, and once you opened your eyes – he was gone, leaving you a mess with his cum leaking onto the bed sheets. You sat up and hobbled your way over to the shower to clean yourself off, trusting in his promise to come back each night.

You’d be waiting for him, not realizing that was his plan all along.

Taglist: @o-oreo , @k-a-t-h-r-i-n-a @wow-im-gay, @peanutpunchy, @love-me-satoru, @perfect-again, @dinosaur-crime-scene, @thisbicc, @gojoscumslut, @everyonesfinaldestination, @leehoonii-i, @kyojurismo, @crazycatlddy, @briefrebelfanalmond, @izuoyarmin, @ahashiraswife, @d1gitalbathh, @223princess (if your name is crossed out, it means tumblr didn't allow me to tag you - apologies for the inconvenience)

I hope you enjoyed!!

[forsaken-headcanons]

sigh. cupcake coolkidd is taking over my mind. please send help.

i think of cupcake coolkidd as an older version of coolkidd (like 13-14, still a kid just a bit older) who's gone insane realizing what he did and pulled a smile HD

i think he is aware of what he's doing, but he's now doing it because he wants to spare the survivors from a worse fate by another killer (he is unaware they just get revived after a round. he's a little stupid but that's okay ❤️)

additionally: younger coolkidd has almost curly, very fluffy hair; older coolkidd has his hair in a pixie cut-type thing (both extend down onto his nose bridge because i think its cute)

cupcake coolkidd is just my oc at this point. me when i headcanon a completely non-canon skin

also normal coolkidd headcanon: i think he'd be a creepypasta and SCP kid. no im not projecting i swear

Sometimes you headcanon a character so much they just become an OC. But that's okay. It shows just how much you like them.

[claitea]

an au i've been messing with for quite a while now :) alto as a plasma leader + post-plasma! originally for a little swap au where n would have been a ranger (tbh its not developed at all, it was just an excuse to think about ranger n lmao), though with @jaredthebc we also made a whole thing with his oc jay hehe

ALRIGHT SO TRYING TO KEEP IT SHORT. we call this the replacement leader au. when ghetsis caught wind of a harmonia child being abandoned in the woods, he planned to get him for his plans as normal. however, he accidentally takes a 5 year old alto instead. when he realizes his mistake and finds the real n, he can't just toss out alto since he'd already introduced her to the rest of team plasma as the future queen. he keeps them around to keep up appearances, but also as a backup in case anything goes awry with n. alto's goal as plasma's leader is to make unova more like their homeregion fiore as opposed to complete liberation

they dont get to be they/them yet by the way. sorry. she/her and gender dysphoria be upon ye, alto. they get called A, or Lady A, but since reading just the letter A in text was hard, we also call them Alt. they never get called that in-universe, its literally just for us HJDHDHFH

so that n is assured that he is the true king, he's never made aware of alt's existence, but alt admires him greatly and works to support him from the shadows. when jay is discovered by ghetsis, since he can also talk to pokemon having been to the mystery dungeon universe, alt is once again pushed down the royal procession. at this point, they're so used to being looked over they fully accept this without question and pledge as much loyalty to jay as they do to n.

we liked the thing the manga did where in literally just one scene and never again, n's necklace is used as a phone. so ghetsis gives all three their necklaces to keep tabs on them all. jay and alt accidentally end up calling each other on them, initially unaware exactly Who they're calling. they keep this up for a while, since both are lonely as plasma's backup leaders who arent nearly as important as n yet. when they find out, alt is horrified thinking they've broken so many rules treating their superior so informally, but jay tells them he wants them to stick around. they end up sneaking off to each others rooms, and since they're so desperate for company they try a romantic relationship. its not exactly... the best?? they genuinely love each other but alt is constantly worried about the fact this is totally not allowed, jay worries alt is just "following orders" by being with him. they feel that all they have is each other though

in bw1 n loses and leaves unova as normal, so for bw2, ghetsis puts jay in charge with alt as his right hand. jared's oc Amity replaces the usual protag. the game proceeds basically as normal, up until the giant chasm, where ghetsis attempts to glaciate amity and n returns to save her. knowing kyurem did this only because it was being controlled, jay defends it, as do n and amity. alt, scared out of their mind having just seen ghetsis reveal his true colors, as well as watching jay and n, the only people left they could trust, defend a pokemon that almost killed a kid, alt runs away.

jay and n search for them for a month, and find them back in the ruins of the old plasma castle, injured from an ursaring attack they suffered on the run. they realize how harsh they'd been at the chasm and finally try to make up with both of them. it takes a while because they all have their own issues to sort out but jay and alt do get back together with a lot more healthy framing of that relationship :) n is also there bc these ocs were already n kissers. we had to alright. its in our nature

alt never actually interacted with many pokemon in their time with plasma so their main experiences are The Kyurem Thing and The Ursaring Thing so they develop a fear of pokemon for a while. the shiny smoliv in their second ref is their emotional support helping them get used to pokemon again. their name is Olive because alt still sucks at names, they were a rescue jay got from the plasma safehouse, and because of an inside joke they know wood hammer even though smoliv cant learn that

[dreamyrat]

now that i’ve written about sappy functional middle aged labru i’m thinking about more realistic and sad scenarios…

kabru who gets married young and has children because HEAR ME OUT he believes it makes him more trustworthy than being a bachelor… not quite aware of why he feels the need to appear as normal as possible around others and encouraging laios to do the same… continuing to be unaware of his feelings for laios, writing it off as purely sexual and therefore easy to deny and ignore, despite the fact that he’s closer to laios than anyone.

laios never marrying because the idea of disrupting the status quo is uncomfortable, since he just got used to being king and kabru’s family. also fundamentally disagreeing with kabru’s opinion on needing to get married just for the sake of others, by extension never having to confront his attraction to kabru, even being afraid to get near it mentally. thinking that his jealousy and insecurity stems purely from the threat of losing his closest friend and confidant, DEFINITELY no other reason.

I think kabru would marry a working class woman rather than nobility because they can relate to each other better, the idea they both have to serve people in some capacity, and all the turmoil and triumph that comes with that. I imagine kabru performing the role of doting father and husband very well. his wife loves how attentive he is and how he notices things about her no one else ever has. he’s patient but stern with the kids and earnestly connects with them. until he ultimately burns out and his wife realizes he can’t be honest with her, despite years of trying to get him to open up. up until that point his romantic relationships had all been fun and non committal, and she took pride in the fact she made him want to settle. she never could fully explain what was off about their relationship, because he really was very kind and loving, until she realizes how deeply kabru has repressed his emotions and cant help but question everything and feel she fundamentally misunderstood kabru as a person…

maybe a near death experience with laios triggers it, and kabru’s unable to take care of himself completely, he can’t mask his fear and neurosis and rage anymore, he can’t eat or sleep until he’s okay. he throws himself into his work and refuses to acknowledge that he is struggling when she asks him about it. her realizing that despite kabru’s best efforts to love her and care for her, his relationship with laios is more emotionally intimate than theirs, will always be what drives him and centers him, and she shouldn’t have to compete with that… she obviously mourns what she thought their marriage was, and can’t help but feel betrayed, but overtime starts to feel a deep empathy for him.

I guess I want to explore how kabru’s social dexterity has the potential to be just as destructive as laios’ social ignorance… even though they both have the best intentions and care about others.

when his wife divorces him, he is forced to be honest with laios about why she left, and he has immense guilt over not being able to love her correctly, about being fundamentally flawed and strange, the child that was raised to be a perfect doll, the monster kid no one wanted to play with, how his efforts to compensate for his innate wrongness blew up in his face anyway, which obviously laios can relate to better than anyone.

I think they would dance around each other after that, both now fully aware of the attraction but being so practiced in the art of denial they dont know what to do. It just feels so good to have it out in the open, they forgot that they can actually do something about it. Also kabru feeling like he shouldn’t be allowed to indulge after causing so much pain.

when they finally do get together, it’s surprisingly shy and chaste at first, like they are scared to face the depth of their desire and the years they wasted. it’s slow until it’s not, and everything bubbles to the surface, and they have mind blowing autistic sex. lol.

as for his children i think laios always really liked them as their weird uncle and since he has no heirs, he’d leave his kingdom to them. I’m not sure if kabru’s ex wife would be able to have a relationship with kabru after they get together, but maybe… maybe they could be friends.

[getvalentined]

for nero! 2, 13, 37

[For the Random Character Asks game.]

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on.

Nero is biologically Vincent's child, which is the only reason that he made it to term in the first place while every other attempt failed. Specifically, Nero is the biological child of Vincent after he's been experimented on and has become Chaos' vessel; Hojo was unaware that Lucrecia's experiments on Vincent actually ever did anything except somehow stop him from degrading, and chose to use Vincent's genetic material entirely out of spite. Nero's project is canonically based on Grimoire's work, and I believe Hojo used Vincent as the sire for the very last attempt at getting the project working specifically to know he'd killed Vincent's kid and Grimoire's grandkid while also proving the project to be failure.

Unfortunately for Hojo, the same unique ancestry that made Vincent able to host Chaos in the first place also allowed Nero to survive the gestation process, while using material from after Vincent became genetically tied to Chaos rendered Nero as much Chaos' son as Vincent's. Between Vincent and the corrupted mako used to augment the subject, Nero is slightly more than half-Weapon, and significantly less than half-human, and as such literally can't be killed. There is very little that Hojo regret more than allowing Nero to come into being.

13. Dumbest thing they’ve ever done?

The reason Nero wears a muzzle is because he got particularly aggravated with one of his R&D handlers at one point and, since he was already bound up and had no other way to express his ire, bit him and refused to let go until the Void had woken up and sucked the jackass in completely. He genuinely considers it the stupidest thing he's ever done because the whole rig is really heavy, hurts like hell, rips his hair out all the time, and makes the process of feeding him much more difficult and thus much less common. Prior to this event, Nero was able to communicate and eat fairly normally, although he'd always been treated differently from the rest of the Deepground kids because of how much less human he is. The handler deserved what he got, but Nero wishes all the time that he hadn't done it.

Oh also when he was like eight years old he jumped off a catwalk into the mako well of Reactor 0 and had to be fished out like a toy in a giant claw machine. It took hours and he was basically tied up and thrown in a closet for a week afterward, but it was super fun and made his back stop hurting for a while so he doesn't think it was stupid. (Everyone else does.)

37. What they really think about themselves?

Nero's self-image is...complicated. He's intimately aware of pretty much every facet of himself, because the best way to keep him under control is to make sure knows exactly how much damage he could do and thereby how much trouble he would cause for Weiss if he misbehaved, and this gives him an opinion of himself that is hard to explain and dramatically misunderstood the majority of the time.

Nero knows how smart he is, how capable, and how dangerous. Nero knows he's immortal, he knows he's more monster than human, he knows he killed his mother, he knows he's energetically filthy and that the only reason Weiss can touch him is because Weiss is too clean for the Void to register him as being in need of purification. He knows he's part of something inherent to the Planet, but that his place somewhere in between Minerva's pantheon and human existence makes him unsuited to both, and thereby unsuited to everything.

If asked, Nero would not say that he hates himself, because he's a force of nature and you can't hate nature for doing what it's meant to do. You can't hate a river for flooding when there's too much rain, you can't hate a tree for burning when hit with lightning, and you can't hate a Weapon for being crafted to a purpose. That's nonsense.

But Nero sees himself as inferior to everyone else in essentially every possible way. He's ugly and filthy and disgusting, he's basically an animal that was unlucky enough to be born with a level of intelligence above that of most humans, and all he can do is accept that and carry on. He can't die, he knows that much, and he can't do his job for the Planet because it's not time and he's incomplete anyway.

In spite of all this, Weiss loves him, and Weiss is the only one that ever has, so he says Weiss is the only one that he could ever love. Nero's actions in Dirge being a clear attempt to save as much of Deepground as possible, even knowing that he couldn't leave with Omega at the end, are an undeniable indication that this isn't the case, but he still says it over and over because it's easier than addressing the truth—which is that it doesn't matter if he's capable of love. He doesn't deserve to have it returned, not by Weiss or by anyone.

It's nonsense to hate a force of nature. It's nonsense to love it, too. And that hurts so much that he can't help but hate himself for what he is, nonsense or otherwise. If he were a little more human, he'd be deserving of love; if he were a little more Weapon, he wouldn't be able to care that he isn't. But he's stuck with just too much of one and just too little of the other (or just too much of both, or just too little of both), and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

He'd never say that he hates himself, and he doesn't behave like he hates himself, but that's the only word that comes close.

[ranticore]

I love Ishmael and need to know more. Questions 34, 41, 55 and 56

yayyy ishmael <3 tragedy boy

34: How do they greet someone they like / love?

Cherta was his first proper beloved friend and he was never really expressive at all when it came to positive emotions (or negative emotions, except when they built up enough to be expressed physically). It was very understated, he'd just sort of sidle up to them and stick to their side like glue.

41: What phrases, pronunciations, or mannerisms did they pick up from someone / somewhere else?

His regular vocab came from the deep dream, it's a standardised list of words a child has to know by the time the dream ends, enough to leave them with "functional conversation skills" when they're born. This leads to a really homogenising effect on people born this way, they all seem to have the same very bland, nonspecific culture and way of speaking, though with the right support it can fade away. Ishmael learned how to swear as a young teenager from the other kids in the settlement (he would ask them specifically what dirty words they knew and would they teach them to him, as a minor act of rebellion against the very sanitised existence in the lab. The other kids often lied tho, thinking it was funny to teach him a swear word, or even slurs, without properly explaining what they meant and the gravity of using them.. he never really picked up on that). He ended up with an odd mixture of very precise, clinical language from his dream and the lab workers around him, and very coarse and childish turns of phrase from the kids he idolised a lot.

55: What’s something they’re expected to enjoy based on their hobbies / profession that they actually dislike / hate?

Honestly you look at this guy and you think oh he must LOVE swimming. But he didn't really enjoy it any more than you would enjoy the basic experience standing up and walking to the other side of the room. Just pure locomotion. And his anatomy was not as suited for swimming as the phocids' was. He was pretty inefficient. This left him in an uncomfortable space where he was never good enough at swimming to keep up with the phocids, and never good enough at walking to keep up with the regular humans (though of the two, swimming was more easy for him)

56: If they’re scared, who do they want comfort from? Does this answer change depending on the type of fear?

As a younger teenager he went to his therapist for comfort, though she never saw it that way. He was unresponsive during their sessions and never engaged with her all that much, so she thought he might even have been apathetic towards her. That wasn't the case; he relied on her an inordinate amount, as she was the only person in his entire world who'd ever properly spoken to him, so being around her made him feel more normal. Later, he befriended Cherta and they were the person he'd go to, and at that point he was older and more able to express himself so he treated them as another therapist at times, leant on them perhaps a bit too much for comfort, relied on them to fulfil all his emotional needs, which wasn't healthy either. They kept at it because they liked him, but it took them both a good few years before their relationship balanced out and he learned to respect their boundaries. Growing up, he was completely unaware of even the most basic concept of boundaries, because he was treated as if he had none.