#The people I tagged are also free to skip this if they don't have time. But I think it'll be cool to know ur music tastes👉👈
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maxiwaxipads ¡ 9 months ago
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Romarriche - “Your company is one of a kind… I would never lie to you. I would never say a half-truth or be quiet.” “What is it in your mind, Merold?” “Hearing your voice, complaint or not—it is music to me either way.” Merold - “If there is one constant in this world… Let it be you.” “You’re the cruelest and the kindest thing that happened to me.” “…If only you continued to look at me like that.” Romarriche - “…Merold?” Merold - “But~ It’s only a minor case of bad-mood-itis.” “So Romarriche, spoil me with a spar, will you?” Romarriche - “Merold.” Romarriche - “Look at me.” Merold - “…” Romarriche - “Is something… Wrong?” Merold - “Instead of a spar…” “I might want to lie down on your lap after all.”
#fragaria memories#merold#romarriche#i wont lie i only had the first line and wanted to write something with it#i was reading this novel and i wanted to write something romantic </3#im gonna babble here on my own so you're always free to skip the tags...#if i remember correctly romarriche and merold were made knights around the same time and I work on that context#i like to think their relationship was rocky at first at romarriche's side who didn't want to befriend merold#compared to merold who thought he finally had a friend his age that was also a knight of fragaria#it was romarriche who looked at merold with a perceived perfection and was compared to him#“...I'll get better and strong. I'll impress everyone so I don't have to hear it--his name repeating over and over again.”#merold who says “if only you continued to look at me like that...” refers back to the past when romarriche didn't think of him favorably#but i like the double meaning to it “please look me as you did before and look at me as you do now”#“cruelest” and “kindest” i was a reading a novel that also used those words so I kinda grabbed from that </3#its really a cute novel though#me reading fragaria memories theories to see if it can at least make sense#i like this but i dont like this at the same time wwww#what does it say about its characters? as a writer i want to care about that because no dialogue should be said without reason#i think this dialogue is perfection but what am i writing this for? who does it refer it? what does it refer to?#but at the end of the day i simply want to indulge myself#something that could sound good and personal and something that could make people who read this smile and myself smile#Merold - “Will you make the promise to never change?”#Romarriche - “Change... But change in what way?”#Merold - “...”#Merold - “Because I'm a knight who fears a lot of things...”#Merold - “And I care about the Romarriche I have now.”#it was never supposed to be detailed but look at me now... </3
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doubleedgemode ¡ 8 months ago
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I wanted to go on a drawing spree yesterday, but I could only muster these two before dozing off.
First one, even if I'm not that sure about how I drew her face shape in this angle (and most importantly I forgot her neck and torso bandages OOPS) I do really like how most of the drawing came out. And at least it isn't a bland bust this time, though I'm pretty sure I've already drawn a pose like this before. (Oh no the next drawing is a 3/4 bust again..)
Second, yesterday I saw an artist draw some of the coolest redesigns ever for a different media piece, and thought about the many awesome gg redesigns I often see so I wanted to give A.B.A a spin... Except I was out of ideas so most of this drawing is her regular design haha. I got too tired to even try to attempt to draw the rest of the body and half-assed the key but I like the vibes and pose (even if I.. think I made her neck a bit too long? Old habits die hard... Necks are my enemies when drawing!)
I like the idea of her having a key take on the classic frankenstein bolts (though wait, her head key is referred to as a screw. Would this also be a screw or key shaped bolts??-)
#this counts as a pride post because I am very gay for her#her uneven shoulders and stray eyebrow hair (like some d.bz characters <3) have captivated me#anyways sorry for being so wordy in the post... I will be wordier in the tags! sorry. feel free to skip these I'm just gonna ramble#while drawing these I realised I was accidentally doing a shitty a.b.a cosplay: eyebags. hairband. stitches and what Ishiwatari would call#morbid pallor LMAO. I admit I put on the hairband because of her <3 but the rest was unintentional. I hadn't worn one in yrs cause I don't#*didn't like how my hair looks w it plus felt kinda rigid but.. my current hair w a hairband is growing on me? prob not gonna wear it outsid#but thank u a.b.a for making me retry it <3. also the head feeling is kinda cool. though mine is of a hard material n I'm p sur hers is soft#anyways. I have one of this year's most important assignments/appointments tomorrow. wish me luck#after that I'll still have to go do productive adulting but I'll be able to sleep better n have energies n time to draw stuff n gaming#til that happens stuff is super hectic in all senses so drawing this goober is my escape valve. uh dunno what else. I'm tired#also oh I wanna take a moment to say thsnk u to all the people that like my art of her (and art in general but 95% art I upload her is her#LMAO) I don't wanna get parasocial but I do recognise your usernames and how u keep up with my kilometric tags. you make my day sometimes.#also huh my art (style?) got different lately. Idk how I feel. but drawing dif stuff is cool#wtf did I catch up the habit of drawing each hairstrand. my hand dislikes it. IMAGINE IF I DREW MILL.IA INSTEAD AAAAA#a.b.a#art tag2b named#edit for better term: thank youuu. may the homunculus obsession unite us all <3
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narcissusneverknewme ¡ 7 months ago
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the Earth will never be healed again until China starts producing stuff with a sufficient amount of genderfuckery again. nearly all of the most compelling stuff China has ever produced has featured a significant amount of genderfuckery. that and the gay shit. send X or whatever you fools say now
#cursing#sorry i tag swears bc they are outside of my usual speech patter#however they are necessary here.#there are people who want to make the good stuff. gayness and the genders and whatnot. we won't know peace until they do so again#when i took the chinese cinema course I really started to fall in love with yhe defining qualities of chinese production#and the world needs chinese creators to be permitted to stretch their beautifully choreographed highly stylized slow-motion wings ok#actually the ways some of the great filmmakers of the chinese tradition add naturalism is so unique and enrapturing#just imagine if we were regularly getting the untamed but filmed by zhang yimou and funded like filmmaking is free and they kiss in the end#I am going to watch the fairy and demon one#but I don't have too high of hopes. i hope it will be fun! but I don't expect the to lean all the way in#what I'm deally wanting to see is one like the nine-headed demon thing#midsummer night's dream wuxia or xianxia#like where is romance and attraction and all of it DURING the genderedness OK#LEAN IN#the 9 eyed demon looks HORRIBLE mostly because there is a lack of love w the demon (looks abusive and boring)#but ALSO because they refuse to Lean All The Way In#go all the way!! take it there!! don't be afraid!#easy to say from here I guess. without the chinese government breathing down my neck#blabbering about correct messaging#you know we actually just completely skipped the era of the cultural revolution in filmmaking. as there were “no movies of merit” produced#don't do this again China. please relax the freaking censoring 😭😭#man I just feel so bad for the creators that make things they love only to have then completely slashed or censored into emptiness#the fact that the untamed made something BETTER than the original because the used censorship like poetic form#its so beautiful. so chefs kiss#but my wish for the talented creators of china is that they will not have this form forced on their work forever.#most of the time it doesn't do what it dod the the untamed#and even that was produced before the got CRAZY
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miraclewoozi ¡ 1 year ago
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prettycottagequeer ¡ 11 months ago
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ok maybe I'm a little late to this BUT I'm gonna do a to-do list motivation thingy because I've had the worst two weeks since I started college :)
SO these I should start on asap:
50 I make the snack I really want but I haven't had the motivation to make
100 I clean my dorm. another thing I've been meaning to do for a week
150 I do the presentation about mid-victorian fashion I've been putting off (due Monday)
200 I start memorizing the monologue that was due a week ago (now due Tuesday)
these can wait longer:
300 I spend time outside. It's so nice but I'm getting stuck scrolling because I feel like shit. vicious cycle ect
500 I start setting a better weekend routine (aka getting up before noon)
1k I start working out again. I was doing a routine to get more masc and build muscle and I liked it but life hit me like Crowley driving the Bentley and I've missed like 3 weeks
2k I buy my first binder. I've been coping with sports bras for almost a year now and I haven't been able to justify spending $50+ on a binder even though I know I'd love it and use it everyday.
Do I tag people? I don't know but I'm going to. @the-globe-theatre-maggot @weirdly-specific-but-ok @howmanyholesinswisscheese
here's just some context if you want to read, feel free to skip. some of this I've talked about in the maggot server, some I haven't, but I really just need a place for this to go that's out of my head. tw homophobia, transphobia, car crash(??)
How I Have Been Run Over By The Bentley Going 90 In Central London What Feels Like 50 Times In The Last Two Weeks
I'm going to college about 4 hours away from my parents, and it's been really nice. They.. suck, to say the least. transphobic/homophobic ect, super traditional conservative catholic, racist, all of it. so i tried to move somewhere where I wouldn't have to think about them and I could be myself and do what I can to be happy. March 1st was the start of my spring break, which meant going home because the dorms close. I was already not excited, but I was prepared. the problem with being away from home is I forget just how bad they are. My optimism gets the better of me and I think maybe this time they'll be better. so I decided to not hide my septum piercing.
that was a mistake. it starts a whole fight where they say we know you're trans, you're actually a girl and you always will be, we have the bones argument, they think I'm being influenced by demons or something (if only they knew about crowley) because I want to change my name, and they tell me that going on t will completely ruin my body and give me cancer and other things. They're also mad about my dyed hair, septum, and general style, and say I'm setting a terrible example for my (5) younger siblings and make it a point to tell me just how much of a disappointment I am. I think I'm pretty cute and fun but y'know, whatever. very fun time. I lie so much, don't give them any more details about my identity, and say I'm not planning to go on t to save my ass. which is all on instinct which makes me feel worse because if I'm really trans I should be able to stand up for that, right? maybe I'm faking the dysphoria.
the next morning I wake up really sick, and spend the rest of the week sick and feeling like shit because I'm home and back in the same place and situation I was a year ago that I thought I escaped. at one point I pretty much lose my voice but also kind of get gender euphoria from it. it's weird.
On Friday it's time for me to drive back 4 hours to school, and I make it about 3/4 of the way when google maps takes me on a random gravel road and I crash my car, really crash my car, like sideways-in-a-ditch-windows-broken-crawling-up-out-the-door crash it in the middle of nowhere. (I was fully paying attention to the road, it was raining and super slick) I call my parents because I have no one else to call and I sit in a Subway for 3 hours while they drive to get my car. when they get there they're (understandably) really mad, and they tell me that I'm not mature enough to be going to school so far away and I need to get my shit together and stop depending on them. which. is probably true. but made me feel even more stupid about the fact that I crashed my car. I get back to school and I'm still Very Sick with no energy or motivation to do anything. So I've spent the last week trying to get better and honestly to do anything. it hasn't really worked. I'm a lot better health-wise (Not emotionally), still sick but I have a lot of work due, so I really need a push to get started
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mightyneinrewatch ¡ 11 days ago
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FAQ
Someone pointed out to me that asks were turned off, oops... that has been fixed now. Feel free to ask me anything! If I don't respond right away, forgive me, I have a day job and must pay bills, but I'll at least check in once a week when I'm rewatching the episodes myself.
Just to answer a few questions I've gotten so far:
There is no need or obligation to tag spoilers. (With the sheer number of people here who will be repeat watchers, it will be impossible to avoid spoilers, and I don't want anyone policing anyone on what tags they use - I want everyone to have fun!)
If you WISH to tag spoilers as a courtesy to new watchers, I would suggest using #nein again spoilers just so we all know it's specifically spoilers for the rewatch. (And if you are a first time watcher, WELCOME! I hope you enjoy the ride! Please tell us your thoughts as we go!)
PLEASE keep negativity to a minimum, meaning if you dislike a particular ship or canon event or whatever, I would only ask that you keep it out of the #nein again tag? That tag is for sharing LOVE of this campaign, so similarly I would ask not to see too many comparisons to other campaigns. (I have no intent to actually police any of this or call anyone out, and this is also NOT a request for ANYONE ELSE to police it either. I can and will use the block button.)
I am currently queuing up posts with the episode links, which will go out one episode at a time every Sunday at 8:00 am Mountain Time for the US (which I believe is 10:00 am Eastern Time for the US, and that's as far as my knowledge of time zones go) This is not a "live watch" per se. Think of it more like a book club. We all have a whole week to watch the episode and chat about it. Set your own schedule, and of course PLEASE don't feel bad if you fall behind! If you have a bad week, it's COMPLETELY okay to just skip the episode for that week and catch the next one. Or take a break for a few months! Or if you get REALLY into it, you can watch ahead at your leisure. No one is grading you on how well you manage to keep up.
On a very cool note, I checked the follower count AND WE ARE SOMEHOW ALREADY AT OVER 200 FOLLOWERS??? MY GOD, THAT IS INCREDIBLE! Very happy to join you all on this journey!
Special thanks to @sethdomade for mentioning the idea of a "dracula daily" version of a Mighty Nein rewatch! (That I'm now realizing I basically hijacked the idea and didn't even ask them at all if that was okay, I AM SO SORRY, I guess I'm asking forgiveness instead of permission??)
Drop any other questions in the ask box, and I WILL SEE YOU ALL TOMORROW FOR EPISODE ONE!
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lingthusiasm ¡ 6 months ago
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New Lingthusiasm merch! Gavagai, Ask Me About Linguistics, and More people have read the text on this item than I have!
A new round of Lingthusiasm merch is here! We have three new designs available across a range of items.
Gavagai: lo, un-detatched rabbit parts!
Imagine you're in a field with someone whose language you don't speak. A rabbit scurries by. The other person says "Gavagai!" You probably assumed they meant "rabbit" but they could have meant something else, like "scurrying" or even "lo! an undetached rabbit-part!" We undergo this experience practically every time we learn a word, and yet we still manage to do it.
Inspired by the famous Gavagai thought experiment, these items feature a running rabbit and the caption "lo, an undetached rabbit-part!" in a woodblock-engraving-crossed-with-vaporwave style in magenta, indigo, teal, cream, and black/white on shirts, scarves, and more!
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More people have read the text on this item than I have
"More people have been to Russia than I have" is a sentence that at first seems fine, but then gets weirder and weirder the more you read it. Inspired by these Escher sentences, we've made self-referential shirts saying "More people have read the text on this shirt than I have" (also available on tote bags, mugs, and hats, with the appropriate tweaks in wording), so you can wear them in old-time typewriter font and see who does a double take.
See our bonus episode Linguistic 〰️✨ i l l u s i o n s ✨〰️ (#57) for more about this classic sentence.
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Ask Me About Linguistics
We've made a design that simply says "Ask me about linguistics" in a style that looks like a classic "Hello, my name is..." sticker, and you can put it on stickers and buttons and shirts and assorted other portable items for when you want to skip the small talk and go right to a topic you're excited about.
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Lingthusiasm merch generally
If you’re looking for subtle-to-obvious ways to signal that you’re a linguist or linguistics fan in public, gift ideas for the linguistics enthusiast in your life (or handy links to forward to people who might be interested in getting you a gift sometime), we also have many previous items of Lingthusiasm merch!
There are subtly linguistics-patterened scarves, mugs and water bottles with linguistics-related jokes on them, NOT JUDGING YOUR GRAMMAR, JUST ANALYSING IT shirts, nerdy linguistics baby clothes, and more items to browse.
We love to see your photos of Lingthusiasm merch or any diy linguistics crafts projects you might make! Feel free to tag us @lingthusiasm on social media or share in the #merch-crafts-objects channel in the Lingthusiasm Discord.
Stay lingthusiastic!
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phantominzie ¡ 7 months ago
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Ranting about TSS
I would like to start by saying, yes, I am fully aware I don't post fandom rants very often (ESPECIALLY SASI). However, I've been feeling rather upset over the fandom and Thomas.
I would also like to mention that in no way is this attacking Thomas or any of his writers, hell, not even the fandom itself. I just need to let all of this out.
You're always totally free to skip over this, I know ts crit isn't everyone's cup of tea <3
To start, I am so just...tired? It's been so frustrating waiting for a finale for four fucking years and getting the bait and switch every time Thomas makes a post about 'upcoming Sanders Sides content!'
I understand taking time to work on something so important to cannon, but four years? I can also give him a little leeway for having some staff issues, but it's almost painful to only keep getting the series we love get downgraded so harshly over the years.
Almost all of the sides have been made so two dimensional. At first they felt so fleshed out, so real, and fandom focused their character on one sole trait (not unforgivable but a bit frustrating). Then, I guess Thomas just picked up on fandom and decided 'yeah! I'll just make them two dimensional too!' That's not what we want. And frankly that's never what we wanted. Occasionally, he'll give us breadcrumbs of character development, or show us a sliver of light to what they once were, but it's never the same.
And frankly, I feel bad for having my hopes so high for the finale. Sure it's been taking four years, but that doesn't mean it will be perfect, hell, it might suck. Of course, I will watch it, but I won't be happy about it. About the lies, about the bait and switch, about the constant merch plugs over actual content, about the four incorrect quotes over working on the finale, about the prioritizing of under five minutes long videos that no one will watch anyways.
I love that Thomas is working on things that make him happy, and I don't think I'll ever stop being happy about that, but he needs to take into heart that without content, merch won't sell anyways.
He made a tweet recently that said that we would be getting the finale in an uncertain number of weeks, but based on the past four years I don't even think it will come out at all. If it does, I swear that if we get a merch plug in the finale I'm going to lose my shit.
I want him to see that fandom can't carry itself, and that if he doesn't have that finale have the actually well done makeup we've been begging for, or have our three dimensional characters back, then he won't have a fandom at all.
I'm almost angry that this is my special interest at this point, I'm so let down by the direction the series is probably headed.
I hope that no one takes this the wrong way, and if people leave death threats in my inbox (which has happened to people posting ts crit; no i'm not joking) then trust that you won't be answered. No one is to tag Thomas on this post, and if Thomas even finds this post then heed the words I've said. This isn't a threat to you, and frankly it never was. What is it is the frustrations of a tired and exasperated fan.
I'm sorry if this has rubbed anyone the wrong way, I apologize if it has. I hope this doesn't make people think I'm becoming some TSS hater, I'm really not. But I'm frustrated, and that's normal
Thank you for reading this all the way through if your here, I love you <3
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generalluxun ¡ 3 months ago
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Marinette and Clumsiness
So I reblogged the snarky 'clumsy in fiction' post and tagged it ML, but I don't think I've ever posted about it before and I want to, because my take isn't just skin deep on this. It goes all the way to the S5 finale.
Marinette *should* have been Clumsy in ML, not 'fiction clumsy' where she drops things and the laugh track plays, but actually bad at agility. Give her dexterity. The girl sews and crafts relentlessly. Give her nimble fingers, but terrible feet.
Why?
Well the obvious is 'Then it's a real trait and not your 'get out of Mary Sue free' card, but it goes into more than that.
Adrien is agile. He's a top tier fencer. If she is not it is a way they can complete each other. Allow Adrien to be not the best at dexterity based things. Marinette beats him at video games. The last time he tried to thread a needle, Nathalie had to cut his hands free.
Romcom gold, and narrative elements that are useful- because they can carry over to superhero mode.
Sure the Miraculous can compensate to a degree, but have this divide matter because the degree of precision needed is also more. There are tasks they need each other for, let this stand out. Notably- Ladybug should never be much of a fighter.(good vs humans/thugs/wacky monsters but not in a straight up fight) She's the thinker! She plans things, punching is a big part of Cat Noir's role.
The show kind of falls into these roles, but it also subverts them whenever push comes to shove. Reflektdol was a perfect opportunity for Lady Noire to actually struggle defending Mr. Bug as much as he had to struggle planning. Instead she just does everything better. 😩
So I mentioned the S5 finalĂŠ and why is this relevant? Because if we let this clumsiness/weakness stand it can reframe the finale fight into something actually much more sympathetic to Marinette/Ladybug.
The decision was already made not to have a clean 'happy ending', so we could skip the girlbossing and up the dramatic tension. Marinette isn't going in with a plan. She's responding to a chance encounter she really can't escape. She may have more power but she doesn't have her partner -Her shield.
The battle with Monarch could have been a struggle-in-retreat for Bugganoire. Every exchange Monarch throwing overwhelming power at her and Bugganoire using her wits and lucky charms to narrowly escape only for Monarch to throw something new at her.
Have taking the fight down to the lair be Monarch's doing. Have it symbolize in the moment how his own carelessness opens up the ones he loves to hurt.
When Bugganoire drops an elevator on Emilie this time, we've established she's overwhelmed, cornered, and desperate. She's at her wits end (and considering all she's been put through, zero people can blame her)
Begging Gabe to stop(he still has half the Miraculous) and trying to reach out to him can be framed a trying to normalize a world that has just gone insane from her point of view. Marinette ~~before the end of season 5~~ believes in people. Clinging to that in a desperate hour makes sense. Letting her guard down makes sense because she *has to* in order for the world to still make sense to her.
And so when she's betrayed and all else happens... her cavalcade of poor choices ALSO make more sense. She's making them not as a top-of-her-game girlboss but as a hero who just faced insanity and hasn't had time to pick up the pieces because the world(and her loved ones) need her.
All this- from just letting Marinette be clumsy.
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hazbinhazmeinachokehold ¡ 11 months ago
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Sorry if I’m a bother, if that’s the case feel free to skip over this one.
I freaking loved it! I’m now inspired to draw Sam with the overlords now! If it’s not too much trouble could I ask for Zestial, Charlie and the rest of the hotel’s reactions to Sam?
(Ooo!😳 what if for Angel’s it’s Valentino who tries to hurt him?! That could get messy!)
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A/n: Nah dude you're fine! Though I don't write for Zestial (not that that's your fault I keep forgetting to put that in the rules.)
Warnings (?): nothing major happens but Val's here so warning for abuse. Also, Alastor is hurt in Husk's part and Val is hurt in Angel's part, it's nothing graphic but if you don't want to read about that skip those parts.
!!!not proofread!!!
Charlie: Just as cuddly as you! Gladly accepts any candy from you. She ends up getting candy from the hotel for you. Let's you tag along if it's safe (or at least what she assumes you can handle.) Despite being the princess of Hell it's a known fact that she's a pushover and usually refuses to use her powers. So it's not that much of a surprise when someone attacks her. What is a surprise is how you react. I'm going to be honest, she is at least a little scared of you now. Though she's pretty sure you'd only attack people when they hurt your friends. We’re about 80% sure they're harmless.
Vaggie: She ain't too keen on cuddles, but isn't totally against it. She's not great with kids when they're just chilling so she doesn't know what to do. Also, she isn't one for sweets but appreciates the gesture. You remind her of Charlie in a weird way (but like platonic obviously.) Vaggie got some crayons for today's bonding activity when some random sinner attacked Vaggie. Before Vaggie could defend herself the sinner was ripped off of her. She just stared dumbfounded as you took care of the sinner. Well, there goes her thinking you're like Charlie. I mean sure you seemed sweet when somebody attacked a person you liked. You became terrifying and did anything to defend them- wait never mind you're more like Charlie now.
Angel Dust: Kinda creeped out by you before you do anything tbh. You follow him around nearly everywhere and keep offering him candy, despite barely knowing each other. But he understands you're a kid and may have a hard time showing you care, but he sets a ground rule: NEVER follow him to work. It's not a place for kids to be, and you followed that! Valentino just couldn't keep his hands off Angel even out of the studio. You too were just at a park, it was night so no one was really around. Until Valentino spotted Angel, you didn't hear any of the words that were said between them. But you did see Valentino hit Angel and that was the end of that. Seeing you almost kill Valentino was horrifying but also very cathartic. After the initial shock wears off you get about 20 bags of candy and however much cuddle time you want.
Husk: He's pretty blunt about finding you off-putting. But you don't seem to care and still follow him around like a lost puppy. The fact that him insulting you didn't sour your opinion of him even a little bit concerns him. So he starts to look after you. Not because he cares about you! Just because it'd be messed up to let a kid get manipulated no matter who they are. He totally cares about you. He gives chocolate milk or any sweet drink you like at the bar. One day Husk decided to stand up to Alastor which seemed to be a huge mistake on Husk's part. It would have been if it wasn't for you walking in on the scene. The threats were made good on. Just towards Alastor instead of him doing them. Husk is a little shaken up but hey he's probably free now. Gets you any candy you want and shows you a shit ton of card tricks.
Niffty: Tbh I don't have much to say about her. She finds you interesting but doesn't give you much thought. Though eventually when you protect her she returns your affection. Because you are scary and small which are both things she is.
Sir Pentious: (this is while he's in hell btw) Not great with kids. Like I don't think the egg bois are kids but even if they are the only experience he has with kids is his minions. But he does try! He does care for kids. He'll get you candy and cuddle if you want. He used to try to take over territories a lot. He always failed but he still made a lot of enemies that way. So when one of them finds him and tries to hurt him while you're around? I mean if he still wants that territory he can definitely take it now. To be honest I think he'd find you cool, even if you're more than a little scary.
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manicrouge ¡ 1 year ago
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SIN CITY
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[𝙺𝚎𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚗 𝚁𝚞𝚜𝚜 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛]
[𝙳𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝙿𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍]: 09/02/24
[𝙰𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝]: Rorke finds the Ghost's and you fear you're never going to see Keegan again.
[𝙲𝚠]: Major character death, violence, gore, graphic injury, hurt/ comfort, reader goes THROUGH IT, idk if there's anything else.
[𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝]: 7k (exactly btw)
[𝙰/𝙽]: This has literally been in my drafts since Decemeber and I wrote way too much of it to not do anything with it so = I hope this is enough to suffice. Also, this is entirely based off of the mission 'Sin City' in call of duty ghosts, so if you haven't seen or played the game and don't want spoilers then please skip this !! (I would be surprised if you've not seen this yet you're in the Keegan tag.)
Also, if people do enjoy this I am down to write a part two so please let me know :3
ENJOY !!
There may be typos, apologies!!
Please don't post my work anywhere else without my permission !!
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‘If I ever went missing, would you go and look for me?'
It was silent for a moment, and after five seconds passed, you turned to look at the man lying beside you. As you observed his features, you realised that his eyes were closed and while you doubted someone’s ability to dose off so quickly, you sure as shit didn’t doubt Keegan’s. His hand on your waist gave him away as it tightened on you, pulling you closer to him.
Opening his eyes, he peered at you with a furrowed brow. ‘The fuck kinda question is that, princess?’ He asked, ‘of course I would. Besides, need you with me,’ he said, ‘who else would I have to watch my back? Didn’t spend all that time training you for you to disappear on me, did I?’
Smug bastard.
'You're full of yourself,' you bit back.
'Good reason to be,' he said, brushing a hand through his black hair, moving his fringe away from his eyebrows, 'I'll consider being humble when I lose you, princess. But that hasn't happened and it won't be happening on my watch, not at all,' he reassured, pulling you closer to him.
You slapped his chest, letting out a heavy sigh, resting your head against his chest. In the dead of the night and the silence in your room, you listen to the thud of his beating heart while held up on a tiny bed. You were practically on top of him, legs intertwined. 
There wasn't anywhere to go, however, and he didn't seem to care about you closeness at that moment. Rather, he settled with the heat of your body much better than he would have settled in a bed with more space.
'You think this'll ever be over?' you mumbled, closing your eyes, 'I'd like to sleep in a bigger bed with you; this ones a little cramped. Maybe even watch something on a TV too.’
'You're free to take the floor if you want to, I'm not stopping you,' he grunted, pinching your waist.
'I'm gonna blow your brains out,' you sleepily mumbled, placing your hand over his. His chest twitches as he lets out a short laugh, folding his arm behind your head so he can brush his fingers through your hair. 'I mean it,' you grumbled.'
'Of course you do, princess,' he said, 'of course you do.'
—
Throughout your training as a Ghost, you gained an understanding that things will never ever be as easy as you wish they were. But, it came with the job, you suppose, whether it was spoken or not. 
Feelings as such only ever drift in when you don’t have a distraction, and the absence of Keegan after Elias sent him to Colorado Springs proved to be bruising. 
Admittedly, you had been apprehensive with Elias’ request, although, in private, you digressed as you noted that Elias is your Captain, and you were to never question your captains judgement. Even when it came to someone that you loved. So, you bit your tongue, and for the first time in what felt like a long time, you allowed yourself to relax. 
But, you have some things you needed to do before you got any sleep, or before you thought about anything else other than Rorke and the Federation. 
‘JSOC’s going to want to move fast on this, so load up before you get any shut eye,’ he advises.
You follow behind him, standing beside Logan as he walked with Hesh and Merrick by his side. Fortunately, the brunt of the experience has been dealt with, you had survived Keegan’s absence overnight, and in a matter of hours, he would be back by your side. Inwardly, you’re embarrassed at your clinginess to him, but deep down you know he enjoys it. 
‘We’ve got six hours until Keegan gets back,’ Elias says. 
Upon the mention of his name, Riley brushes his head against your leg, and you look down at the German Shepherd, rolling your eyes. Leaning down slightly, you scratch his head. ‘Shut up,’ you grumble to the pup when he looks up at you, his tongue poking out from the corner of his mouth. When you pull your hand away, he licks it, staring back at you. With a huff, you fold to his attempt of cuteness, moving your hand to the his head again. 
‘Hold up,’ Merrick says abruptly. 
An arm grabs your forearm suddenly, and you let out a startled breath, though when you look in front of you, you realise you’d almost walked right into Hesh. Exhaling, you turn your head to Logan who gives you a short nod. 
‘Somethin’ feel off to you?’ Merrick asks, turning to Elias.
The man immediately turns to his right, observing a laptop left perched on a desk. He says little for a moment, and when you turn your head away from your Captain, you acknowledge Merrick’s watchful eye as he peers down the scope of his gun, observing the sights through the broad windows located to the left of you. 
‘Security’s working,’ says the man to the right of you. 
Merrick slowly backs away, keeping his eyes trained o the window. You feel your throat tighten as you keep your eyes on the man, his paranoia working well to leave a heavy feeling in your chest. Logan lets go of your arm as he glances at his brother, a look that you don’t miss, and Merrick looks at you. You open your mouth to speak, holding the gun in your hands close to your chest, snapping your head to Riley as the dog begins to bark, glaring directly through he window that Merrick had just kept his eyes trained on. 
While he may be a dog, he is surely not an idiot- in fact, you’re quite sure that Riley is much smarter than many of the people you had encountered when you had been a simple rookie, before Elias had taken you under his wing. He could certainly kill more people, that’s for sure. 
It all seems to happen in slow motion, and the night you had spent prior seems to dissipate in one moment. There’s this hissing, you hear it from below, and before you have time to contemplate what exactly it is, a black can is thrown over the balcony, a train of green smoke pouring from out of the top of it.
‘Fuck,’ you curse, ‘get out!’ you yell, watching as another two cans containing the same foul smelling gas are tossed over  the balcony, hitting the ground with a clink.
As you begin to sprint, you find the air around you is similar to the air you breathed whenever you were spending time with Keegan on his smoke break. All oxygen left your lungs as you broke into a sprint, your eyes water, and before you know it, you falling down to the ground, gasping for air as you feel your eyes grow heavy. 
In the midst of the panic and over the thumping of your heart in your chest, you hear Elias call out, ‘Riley, hide!’ before breaking out into a fit of coughs.
You wretch, clawing at the ground in some form of futile attempt to escape, but nothing works as you watch Logan collapse right before you, spewing out violent coughs. Never have you felt so defenceless, so weak as you succumb to the gas, the world around you growing blurry before fading into complete darkness. 
—
‘What are you doing up, kid?’ Keegan asks, seeing you appear beside him.
Letting out a small yawn, your boots crunch against a few stray rocks as you approach him, taking a seat against the rock he was leaning on, looking out at the remnants of No Mans Land. Logan and Hesh had regarded it as their home, as did their father, though, you couldn’t really picture the place without the addition of a crater which grew every day, claiming the lives of old rickety buildings and unsuspecting wildlife.
It was a sorry sight to see for sure, and inwardly, you were happy you never had the misfortune of seeing your own home falling to pieces.
‘You need sleep,’ he said, taking a drag from the cigarette between his lips. 
Your eyebrows raise as you look at him, crossing your arms over yourself. ‘I thought you said you didn’t smoke,’ you say, 'you're a liar.'
You didn’t miss the way he rolled his eyes at your comment, and when he pulls it from his lips, exhaling a cloud of grey smoke, he chuckles. ‘Thought I told you not to hang onto every little thing I tell you, princess,’ he stated, ‘seems like we’re both guilty of doing something we’re not supposed to, hm?’
Placing the cigarette between his lips again, he turns his attention to you, noting that you’d crinkled your nose as the smoke he’d exhaled blew back into your face. ‘You can handle the fuckin’ dust in the battlefield, but the moment you smell a cigarette you fold?’ he mocks, laughing.
Your brow furrows at his comment and you fought of the urge to rip the cigarette out of his mouth. Instead, you allowed him to have his silly little cancer stick knowing that, if you did so something so cruel, he was sure to be upset at you, no matter how close the pair of you were. Cigarettes were difficult to come by and you liked him enough to let him have one in peace. 
—
When the world fades in, you’re moving.
You don’t know how, and for a short second, you’re convinced you’ve died. But, when you take a sharp breath and feel your lungs burning, you’re crudely brought back to life. When you look ahead of you, you witness two soldiers trailing behind you. Keeping your head bowed, you wince at the dizziness wrecking your tired mind, attempting to hold your breath in fear of the due ache in your lungs.
Swallowing, your mouth is dry and you feel the urge to vomit as your head keeps swaying from side to side. Your limbs feel like jelly, fluid. You can hear them talking, although, everything seems miles away from you, and you feel your eyes water as the tightness in your chest grows. If they know you’re here, do they know where Keegan is? The thought sends a chill down your spine, and in your delirious state, you declare that you will kill anyone who even dared to touch even a hair on his head. Even if it meant your death too. 
‘That all you got you piece of shit?!’
It’s Merrick, you recognise his tone from anywhere, it nearly shatters your delirious state entirely, though, the grip on the back of your collar tightens as your pulled away from him.
There’s more shouting and a loud smack, Merrick, you imagine, is on the receiving end of such a hit. A Ghost in true fashion, that’s for sure. As you attempt to lift your head again, you find the world growing dark once more, and, while you feel as though you should fight against it just as you had seen him do, you allow yourself to fall back into the abyss as you feel your lung burning and throat swelling. 
—
There’s a screeching when you come back around, a vile ringing in your ears. ‘Well, I guess if you want something done right, do it yourself.’ 
Your blood runs cold.
As you slowly begins to lift your head, a hand grabs your face, forcing your head up. The light protruding from the window to the left of you is nearly bruising, and when the hand holding your face successfully tilts your head up, your eyes meet with Rorkes. He looks down at you with a wrinkled smirk, his hold tightening on your hair, yanking it harder. You wince at the pressure as he keeps his eyes on you.
‘You’re finally awake,’ he acknowledges, pushing your head down, letting go of your hair. ‘Good.’
He walks away from you, and as you look around, you note that Hesh is sitting directly across from you, Logan is to the right of you, and Elias is to your left.
As you continue to look around, your face pales at the disappearance of Merrick, and while you sit, you recall the faint memory in your banging head of the man being surrounded by Federation soldiers.
He’s smart, you think, you could leave that bastard in a forest with a knife and he’d have his own fuckin’ city in a month. He’s fine. 
‘Nice to have the family back together, isn’t it?’ Rorke asks, looking to Elias. The man shows no fear, looking the devil right in the eyes with a stoic expression on his face. ‘One thing, though,’ he says, ‘we’re just missin’ our quiet friend, aren’t we?’ he says.
Your heart calms at such a statement.
He doesn’t have him, he’s fine, he’s safe.
You expect him to keep his eyes trained on Elias, counting on the fact that he is the Captain, but, he turns his head over his shoulder and looks at you. Heaving a heavy sigh, he turns his back to Elias, placing his hands down on his knees, ‘where’s Keegan?’
Looking him in the eyes, you spite your dry throat as the muscles in your neck contort and you muster up a mouthful of phlegm. He keeps his eyes trained on you, and you lung forward, a spray of mucus and saliva coating his face. ‘Fuck you,’ you heave, ‘I’m not telling you a fuckin’ thing,’ you sharply state.
He looks at you with wide eyes, standing up and wiping his face with the palm of his hand. 
‘Damn bitch has got some fight in her, doesn't she?’ he laughs, turning to Elias, ‘not your daughter by blood, but by attitude… fuck me, Elias, you’ve got yourself a mini me!’ he exclaims. You bite your lip, taking a deep breath as you look at your Captain with bleary eyes. Grabbing the back of the man’s chair, he pulls it to him. Elias’ gaze doesn’t leave his. ‘Where is he?’ he slowly questions. 
There’s a moment of silence.
‘You know I’m not telling you a damn thing,’ he spits, baring his teeth in his direction.
Never have you seen the man so agitated, his bruised face flushed red, his split lip oozing with blood, a thin line of it trailing down his chin. He looks like a savage beast as the sunlight behind him renders his features darker than typical, and the curve of his lips when he addresses Rorke even sends a shiver up your spine.
Of course, a Ghost was loyal to his own until death, and even then, they were buried down to watch over them. Once a Ghost, always a Ghost. Elias proved his worth much more than Rorke ever could, and while you wondered what exactly they had done to break the man who Elias had described as ‘one hell of a Ghost,’ but one thing was for certain. A man who broke was not a Ghost. Never was, and never would be.
’Go fuck yourself,’ Elias hisses.
Rorke laughs, nodding his head, letting go of the back of his chair. It lands with a clatter, and you watch as the man continues to nod to himself.
‘Dangerous fuckin’ game you’re playing,’ he states, and you watch as his right hand moves from the front of him, trailing around to the side where his pistol sat in his holster.
He’s gonna shoot Elias. Your eyes grow wide as you watch the man retrieve his weapon. Your muscles tensing as he holds it out in front of him. It’s aimed right at his chest, overing above his heart. ‘Well, let's see if I can change your mind,’ he exhales. 
BANG.
In a moment, his hand whips around, and when the trigger is pulled, all the air in your lungs exudes like puss from a pimple.
The shot causes your ears to ring. It’s loud, and everything is fuzzy. For a moment, you look up in search of the wound, hoping that the bullet had not went through your Captains skull. Only, when you look in his direction, you see the smoking pistol pointed directly at you. Your eyes grow wide, and you let out a short breath.
You heard the gun go off, the bullet had to be somewhere. And then, you felt a wetness pooling against your thighs. Everything seemed to move slowly when you raised your head up, looking across to Hesh with wide eyes. 
I’m going to die, I’m going to die and Keegan isn’t here with me.
As you manage to get a short breath in, agony hits you like a truck and you lean over without a second thought.
I’m going to die.
All you training, everything, how to stop the bleeding, none of it matters; you’re truly at the disposal of the enemy and there’s nothing you can do. Not even you Captain can do anything. 
‘NO!’ Elias screams, dragging you back into the moment. 
Between the thudding beats of your heart, you hear Hesh screaming out bloody murder, thrashing against the ropes that keep him tied to the chair, ‘Son of a bitch!’ he screams, looking directly at Rorke, ‘I’m going to kill you! You hear me? I’m going to fucking kill you!'
A shaky breath leaves you as your eyes well with tears, and when you look down, you gulp hard at the sight of a wound oozing blood. Your throat tightens as you feel your entire body grow hot.
‘Easy junior,’ Rorke warns with a disapproving tone. You keep your head bowed as his shadow looms over you, ‘I ain’t even started with you yet,’ he chuckles.
Keegan, where’s Keegan- I’m going to die.
Your eyes sting as your trembling hands press against the rope, pulling against them. You need to get out of there otherwise you are going to die. 
Elias calls your name, you hear it, he shouts it, yet, it seems so quiet.
'Look at me!’ he demands, and while everything in you is telling you to keep your eyes trained on the wound, you force your head up, sniffing hard as you look your Captain in the eyes. At the very least, even if Keegan isn’t there with you, you have him.
Elias, you captain, your military father. There have been plenty of jokes made during particularly bleak moments in missions where Hesh and Logan have likened you to their sister. It's an honour, truly, to know that they were your brothers no matter relation, and Elias entertained the idea that you were the daughter he had never had. 
Rorke appears behind him and it’s then that you don’t realise how many seconds are passing. Every single second feels like an hour, and you’re more than aware that every second passing is yet another drop of wasted blood. You’re running on borrowed fucking time, and there’s Rorke, the big fucking man he is, parading around in front of you like he’s a jester. ‘That’s right,’ he chuckles, placing his hand on Elias shoulder, ‘that’s it,’ he sighs, ‘show him how much pain he’s causing you right now.’
‘Keegan will kill you,’ you rasp out, stifling a short whimper as you clench your teeth. ‘And if he doesn’t, then I will.’
You’re more than aware of the situation your in and your pessimism seems to waver with your consciousness as a sudden boost of adrenaline fills you with defiance. If you’re going to die, you might as well run your tongue; the worst thing that can happen in this moment is him simply putting you out of your misery. 
Rorke laughs at your threats, ‘you see,’ he begins, ‘funny think about your old Captain here,’ he stops himself for a moment, shoving Elias as he resumes his position, looking you in the eyes, ‘He lets his men die to save his own ass,’ he states, turning his attention away from you, turning his attention back to the Captain.
Exhaling shakily, you look over to Hesh and Logan who return a look equally as frightened. Never have you seen the pair of them appear so apprehensive, although, you definitely don’t miss the look of anger. No, even though the look isn’t intended for you, you feel a chill run up your spine. 
‘Dammit, Rorke,’ Elias yells, ‘this is between you and me!’
The world seems like its on a merry-go-round, twisting and turning leaving a delightful fuzziness in your head. Adrenaline is pupping through you, and you’re thankful for the emotion, for, if you didn’t have it, you very well would have been out like a light. Your hands continue to pull against the ties of your rope, and while your wrists are burning from the constant pulling and tugging, you breath a short sigh of relief when you feel them loosening. Whoever tied it clearly weren’t trained in the art of kidnapping. 
‘Leave my kids out of it!’ Elias demands.
You feel your heart warm at his sentiment, giving you all the more fight to get out of these damn binds. Works gun is right next to him, you can get it, you can reach for it, and you can blow that fuckers brains out. 
‘You’re talking to a superior Lieutenant,’ Rorke says, pacing back and forward, before finding his way right back to Elias. Looking down at the man, he calmly speaks, ‘show some discipline.’
You feel your face grow warm listening to their exchange. 
‘You were never one of us, you’re not a Ghost,’ Elias cruelly says, turning his face away from Rorke, looking down to the ground. Rorke hums, turning his attention back towards you.
The ties are growing looser, they’re getting there, you can almost get your hand out of them, yet, you maintain poker face as you look up at Rorke. 
‘Well,’ Rorke breathes, ‘that’s just cause I’m better than you!’ he exclaims, keeping his eyes trained on you. You watch as they narrow, it’s a subtle one, one that you had noted during parring matches with rookies.
As Keegan had taught you, when soldiers get lazy, they give themselves away and it’s always in the eyes.
Your eyes dart to his hands, seeing him clench his fists as he snaps his body around, driving his fist into Elias’ face. The man falls to the side with a grunt as Rorke takes a short breath before raising his other fist, ‘I’ve always been better than you!’ he seethes, punching that man again. Elias tilts his head back against the chair, and you watch as both Logan and Hesh begin to fight much harder against their restraints. Either way, someone was getting out and Rorke was going to pay. ‘But you… you call yourself a Ghost?!’ he barks, hating Elias again. 
As he looks down on Elias, you pull a hand free from the ties. Keeping your eyes trained on Rorke, you look down at his gun, gritting your teeth. ‘You’re nothing! You and your kids, you’re dead!’ he declares.
Wrong move.
With his proud declaration, you push yourself up from out of the chair, snatching his pistol from out of the holster on his thigh. Such, unfortunately, doesn’t go unnoticed by Rorke as he whips around, grabbing your arms, forcing the pistol up. You place your hands against his, using all the strength you can muster to pull the gun away from him. 
Nothing moves him, however. 
But he’s a monster, he likes to play with his food.
He’s not using all his strength, he’s taking it easy on you, and you’re still losing. As he does so, he laughs in your ear. ‘Oh,’ he gasps, ‘she’s still got a little life in her,’ he laughs aloud, positioning the gun so your pointing it directly at Elias. ‘Didn’t he ever tell you not to aim guns at people?’ You grunt, driving your foot against his boot, feeling his grip falter for a moment. You attempt to move the gun upwards, your finger pressed against the trigger. Everything burns. Everything hurts. But you’re not going to stop, you’re going to kill this bastard even if it kills you. 
Unfortunately he’s a scummy man, and as punishment for you stomping on his foot, he drives an elbow into your stomach, winding you.
Your hold falters- you almost fall to the floor- but he keeps you up on your feet, and through gritted teeth declares, ‘they could go off!’ His finger jams against your pressed against the trigger, a loud shot ringing in your ears. You watch a Elias throws his head to the side as a bullet drives through his chest. You fight against him harder, shaking your head. ‘That’s is!’ He grunts, ‘just a little more that way,’ he instructs you, forcing your hand further to the right. You actively pull away as the both of you fight against each other. Tears are running down your faces at that moment, every pull and tug driving the bullet in your stomach further and further. 
‘Dammit, Rorke, STOP!’ Hesh begs. 
 ‘Point it… at…’ another shot is fired, and Elias takes it with a grunt, 'your Captain.’
As though taking candy from a baby, he lets go of your hands, plucking it out of your sweaty grasp. Gunpowder invades your nostrils as he lets you go. Rookie mistake, you hear it in your head, but it isn't your voice. It's Keegan's.
You wobble on your feet, staggering backwards as your get your bearings. What you need to do is untie Logan who is right behind you, and then when he's distracted you can get to Hesh. Yet, as you step back and begin to move towards Logan, Rorke whips around to face you again driving the butt of the pistol into your face. It hits you with a crude thwack, a stoke of colour meeting your gaze as you fail to catch yourself, tumbling to the ground.
Logan screams out as you fall to the ground, and you tense as you brace for impact. You land with a thud, a broken cry escaping your lips when you feel the bullet lodge in your stomach dig further in.
The pain leaves you gasping an you clench your teeth as the room spins. Nausea spread through you as you lay there attempting to collect yourself, gulping back the urge to vomit.  Resting your palm against the ground, you begin to attempt to pick yourself up. If you can just make it to Logan, you can make everything right.
Keeping your eyes trained on Elias, you watch as Rorke circles him as a shark did its pray. Both Hesh and Logan are calling you for you, the rattle of their chair thumping causing your ears to ring. Licking your dry lips, you tense when Rorke turns back to you, pointing the pistol in his hand directly at your head.
‘You got fire in you, kid,’ he breathlessly confesses, ‘I like that… risking your life to protect your Captain,’ he chuckles, leaning into Elias, pressing his finger against his chest. ‘You could learn something from her, Elias.’
‘She’s my daughter,’ he croaks. 
‘Yeah,’ Rorke nods, glancing at you, ‘and she’s gonna get to watch you die. Her and your boys.'
Shot after shot is fired, every bang against you to witness as you grab your stomach, pressing down against the wound to keep yourself from losing more blood than necessary. You’re far too dazed to get up and fight against the man who saw the very life of your Captain as some sort of joke. So, you watch, helpless, as Rorke empties a clip into Elias.
‘No! No! Dad!’ Hesh cries. His face is red as he frashes against the ties keeping him from his father, the very sight making your headache. His tone is piercing as he carelessly spits out curses at the man before him. ‘I’ll kill you, you hear me?’ he screams, ‘I’ll kill you, you son of a bitch! I’m going to kill you! Motherfucker!’ 
The worlds a little blurry. 
Your eyelids grow heavy, and when you force the open upon hearing a thud right in front of you, you’re surprised to see Elias’ face meters away from yours. You fight against the urge to drift off. You’re not going to die, you’re getting out of this and you’re seeing Keegan again- you can't die.
‘You did well,’ Elias breathes, looking at you. Your blood runs cold at the sight of blood seeping onto the ground, ‘I’m proud of you, you and my boys,’ he utters, wheezing for a single breath of air. His lips are blue as he stares at you, your eyes welling with tears as you're forced to watch as the man struggles for his last breaths.
Rorke’s boot is planted firmly on top of his head, and you catch your Captain glancing up at the man.
For the very first time, you see fear in his eyes. It's a dastardly look, mixing with the loss of blood in an unappealing manner as his face grows sickeningly pale. Something tells you that Elias Walker is scared of dying.
No Ghost is to be scared of death, that's not who we are.
But, we're scared of losing each other.
Elias Walker is scared of losing his family, of leaving them behind.
Rorke sighs, pushing his boot further down, leaning down to press the muzzle of the pistol against his forehead.
Keegan, please.
‘Oh… you are right, Elias,’ breathes the man, ‘I’m not a Ghost,’ he grins. There's a pause in his words, and you find yourself searching for some form of sickly hope that just in the nick of time, there will be a bullet in Rorke's head rather than Elias'.
Rorke remains tall and as he licks his thin lips and eyes Elias, you find a dismal pit in your stomach that you know you're never going to recover from.
‘I’m the man that hunts them, and sends them back to the other side.’ 
With that, he pulls the trigger. 
You scrunch your eyes shut as you hear the rattle of the man's chest, a wet pray covering your face. Your lips form into a thin line as you choke out a broken sob, and when you bring your lips together again, the metallic taste of your Captains blood. Behind you, you can hear both Logan and Hesh sobbing, the anger the pair of the showed silently dissipated into grief.
The rustle of fabric in front of you unnerves you, and you attempt to turn away from Elias' corpse, letting out a startled breath when a shadow looms over you and you're grabbed.
'Leave her alone,' begs Logan, 'you got what you wanted. Leave her be... please.'
Rorke holds you in his arms like a child would a doll, and to your surprise, he guides you back into the chair you had jumped out from, forcing you back into it.
Standing back from the three of you, he rubs his mouth with his hand, his lips curling into a small grin as he hums to himself. 'Some talent is between you kids,' he says, 'real shame you're fighting the wrong side of this war, really, it is.'
—
Much to your pleasure, you find Merrick alive.
Despite your doubts prior, you knew well the man was capable of surviving. After the execution of Elias, Rorke left you with his soldiers and you, Hesh, Logan and Merrick were all forced onto your knees, kneeling on the balcony where the attack had first initially ensued. You’re unsure as to how much time had passed, but you were sure the wound was not getting any better as every time you shifted, you fell light headed. 
The soldiers that had been observing you receive something on the radio, although, your entire body is hot and your ears are ringing, the memory of Elias’ face stuck in your head as you were forced to witness his death close and personal. You’re quite sure there is residue on of the crime on your face, so, you keep your head bowed, out of the way of both Logan and Hesh who look completely broken. 
‘You alright?’ Logan whispers.
You’re shaking, but you nod your head. 
‘Just Peachy, L, don’t worry about it,’ you utter, keeping your head down. 
A shadow is cast over you and you catch sight of the boots of three soldiers.
‘The boss wants the girl alive,’ says one of them, causing you to snap your head upwards, looking at the three of them.
The one in the middle is pointing at you, marking you out of the crowd while the other two simply observe. 
You feel dirty. 
The man beside him nods his head, grabbing his pistol from his holster, aiming it at Hesh, while the other one approaches Logan, repeating the process.
It’s terribly calculated, killing both of the brothers, clearing the world of Elias once and for all at the same time. You keep your eyes trained on Hesh, eyes occasionally drifting to the window as you sit and wait. Planting the pistol firmly against Hesh’s head, you hear Logan grunt beside you. Hesh moves to the side, his forearms tensing, preparing for the shot. At the very last, they’re showing them mercy. They could have slit their throats, left them to drown in their own blood, yet, they’re making it easy.
One shot to the head. 
Then you see him. 
A small flicker of light in the distance. 
The light at the end of the tunnel.
The glass shatters, the man holding the gun to Hesh’s head stumbling down onto his knees, his hand firmly planted against his chest. It all happens so fast, the man beside him stands dazed, looking at his colleague. Another shot is fired, going right through the mans skull. A spray of brain, blood and skull covers you as the man fulls forward.
‘HESH, LOGAN! NOW!’ Merrick demands, the pair of them jumping to their feet. 
Logan shoves the guard to the ground, pulling him away from you while Hesh and Merrick rush two of two of the soldiers by the balcony. The awestruck soldier is left to you and you watch as he rushes forward, pulling the gun from the corpse of the dead soldier. Fortunately, Hesh manages to grab the rifle from off of the solider standing on the balcony, elbowing him in the stomach. Rushing up to you, he hits the back of the mans guns with the butt of the rifle, causing the man to fall to his knees. You watch with wide eyes as the solider attempts to rush up to him while Hesh fights with the other one. 
Another shot is fired. 
The soldier behind Hesh falls to the ground. 
‘I got you! Go!’ Merrick yells as more shots are fired.
The rest of the soldiers standing behind are dropped. To the right of you, you hear a gunshot as you stand up, watching Logan push himself up from off of the ground, the blood of a Federation soldier soaking into his t-shirt as he steps over the corpse. Grabbing the pistol discarded on the ground, Logan quickly fires a shot through the head of the solider Hesh is fighting with. A bullet whizzes past you, and without a second thought, you snap around, firing two shots directly into a soldier to the right of you. There are more shots from the right of you, and when the final body drops, you exhale. 
‘You okay, Merrick?’ Logan asks as Merrick unties the ropes around his wrists. ‘Rib’s broken, but I can move,’ he reassures, rushing up to Hesh. 
Logan pulls himself free, immediately approaching you, ripping off the edge of his t-shirt. You watched with a furrowed brow as he eyes you. 
‘Need to keep you from bleeding all over the place,’ he states, ‘c’mere,’ he instructs. You step forwards and he hands you the scrap from his t-shirt. Pressing it against the wound, you groan as he wraps the rope around you waist, trying it tightly around your waist. ‘Keegan’ll kill us if you lose a drop more blood… lost enough today too,’ he says, tying it tightly. ‘You still good to fight?’ 
‘Always,’ you say.
Holding his hand out, the pair of you bump fists and for the first time since this morning, you feel the dread swirling in your blood slowly coming to a stop. 
‘We got to get going,’ Merrick sharply states, marching ahead of the free of you. Hesh follows after him. ‘Keegan, we’re up and moving, get here as soon as you can,’ he instructs.
You look at his back in surprise, your own hand falling to your ear piece realising thatchy hadn’t taken them off of you.
‘Check… I’ll meet you in the kitchen,’ confirms the voice you have missed so terribly.
You clear your throat, wincing as you proceed forward, following after Merrick. Part of you wants him to say something to you, to tell you that everything is going to be okay, but you understand that doing such would absolutely be irresponsible, so, you busy yourself listening to Merrick. 
‘We need to make it to the west side of the building,’ he states, ‘it’s the best chance of getting out of here.’ You nod silently, taking a moment to take a breath. Everything was going to be fine, and in the end of this, you were going to have Rorke’s head in your hands. ‘You still good to fight, Eclipse?’ 
‘Always,’ you give a short nod, ‘bleedings calmed,’ you confirm, despite the burning causing you legs to wobble slightly. In due time it will be over, all of this ill be a distant memory. Just push on a little longer, that’s all you have to do. 
‘Shh.. noise behind the door,’ Hesh warns as he approaches it, ‘lets make this quick.’
—
As you push through the room, you exhale when a voice calls, 'I'm almost there,' Keegan confirms as your brow furrows, a particularly step sending a shot of pain through your stomach up your back.
You clamp your mouth shut as you whimper, your dry mouth longing for a drop of water. Eventually, this will be over, you just had to stick to it. He's almost here, you just have to keep pushing on. That's the only thing you can do.
Just keep fighting.
'You better find a place to hide, though, lotta guys headed right to you,' he warns.
You want to complain upon hearing such, why can it never just be easy? Everything has to be difficult, no matter what you're doing, you can never just catch a break.
‘Key,’ you exhale seeing the man standing before you.
His hardened haze softens upon catching sight of you, and you waste no time rushing up to him, throwing your arms around him. While unprofessional, you feel no shame in confessing that you were going to die without him, and if anything, you were deserving of this moment. The hug you share is brief as he grabs your forearms checking you over.
He stops when he sees your stomach. 
Merrick curses and falls to the ground, ‘shit,’ he hisses, attempting to push himself up off of the ground. As you look back to Keegan, the pair of you turn your attention towards the doors behind you, hearing voices edging closer and closer.
Grabbing you, he looks to Hesh and Logan, ‘get him up,’ he demands, gently guiding you into the room behind you. ‘We gotta hide, not gonna be able to take them,’ he states, pulling you to the side. ‘What the fuck happened?’ he whispers as Logan and Hesh quickly help Merrick inside the room.
You feel his hand against your stomach, wincing as he looks at you. The pressure on your stomach falters as he pulls his hand away, observing a wet patch in his gloves.  
‘Got shot talking back to Rorke,’ you confess, and while you’re sure it’s something you certainly should not be proud of, you speak with a glowing tone as you look at him. Besides, he trained you all those years ago, why should you be ashamed?
'Logan thought fast, used the rope he tied us up with to try and stop the bleeding,’ you mumble. His gaze hardens as he looks at you, and you swear you can see his Adams apple bobbing beneath his mask. Gently he pushes you behind him, helping you to the ground. Looking over his shoulder, he reaches his hand behind him, squeezing your knee. 
It’s so quiet, yet you feel as though your heart is going to burst. 
You place your bloody, shaking hand over his and offer him a wavering smile. He takes it in for a moment before snapping back into action. His hand is pulled from your knee and you’re left alone. 
'Turn that radio down,' Merrick hisses as Hesh helps him down
He hums as the doors burst open. Pushing you behind him, you all sit and watch as shadows pass you by.
And then the world begins to still. You're unable to describe just what it is you're feeling, although, despite the weight and severity of everything happening around you, you feel light as a feather. Your clothes are soaked at this point and in spite of your efforts, you find your breathing slowing as you lean against the wall.
Clumsily, you reach your had out to latch onto the floor as you feel an overwhelming drowsiness hit you. You've put in all the work and effort you can muster, yet, you've tried from it and as you wade through the mush of panicked voices and the thudding of your heartbeat in your ears, you succumb to your body's desperation and fully close your eyes, wading into the quiet of the stream.
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cyazurai ¡ 19 days ago
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28 Genres of CAS💕
I have been thinking about creating another CAS challenge for a while, because I really enjoy them, and I've had multiple ideas. None of the ideas really struck me as something that others might want to do. Then I got the idea to create a legacy challenge based on TV show genres, but I couldn't get much farther than making a list of interesting genres. That's when I got the idea to make that idea into a CAS challenge instead, and expand it to any kind of media genre (TV, movie, video game, podcast, book, etc). I came up with 28 different genres, and thought, what better than to post it as a challenge for February and give it a Valentine's theme? I mean, what do people often do together as a couple? Enjoy media together. (I know it's a stretch, but I wanted it to be Valentine's themed!)
This isn't just something you have to do during February, since it's based on genres it can be done any time, and if you do want to do it, you can do any or all of the prompts! If some just don't speak to you, feel free to skip them. I also didn't number them so you don't feel like you have to do them in order - do it in whatever order you want to. You also don't have to one per day, or keep up with the days. This is just for fun!
Also, these are really open ended and open to your interpretation - you can either literally make a character from something of a certain genre (like Frodo Baggins for Fantasy, or Elphaba for Music), make sims inspired by specific characters, or just make a sim that makes you think of the genre.
You can either make this just as a CAS challenge, or you can turn it into an edit/render challenge for yourself. However you want to do it.
If you do do this challenge, please tag it with #GenresofCAS so I can find it! (Or even tag me in your post.)
I hope you enjoy this. 💗
Below you can find a list of the prompts -
Mystery
Documentary
Drama
YouTube/Streamer
Sports
Music
Superhero
Action
Anime
Cartoon
Dystopian
Western
Adventure
Historical
True Crime
Comedy
Family
Horror
Reality
Fantasy
Parody
Romance
Sci-fi
Cooking
Survival
Telenovela
Cyberpunk
Thriller
@ts4challengehub
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mrsportgas ¡ 6 months ago
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Ghost Ridders Cap.1
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#Special Note: Not my pics, all them will be tag to its actual owner. Also not my characters. Please be patient, it´s my first time writing and englihs it´s not my first language. Feel free to interact!!!!
#Summary: Eight years ago, you were taken against your Will to Mary Goise to become the new slave of Saint Roswald, or rather, to living a hell on earth. One day, while you go with  him on a visit to a New World´s  island in the New World, but a familiar face appears. This creates the perfect opportunity for you to escape, join the Whitebeard Pirates, and discover more about your past, your abilities, and who you really are. All  while you try to endure your new crewmate, Portgas D. Ace, who is incredibly annoying... or perhaps incredibly irresistible? You haven't decided yet.
This story is based in the world of One Piece, with the same characters and timeline. Of course, this story is fiction created by me. Some of the timelines, names, and characters might be the same, also some names, characters, stories, or even personalities may be altered. The story is happening pre-time skip, while strawhats are in sabondy for the first time.
The first chapter is an introduction to the current story, which begins with Ace as your central romance. (This romance may shift to other characters as the story progresses, but don't worry, there's still plenty of Ace to come.) The story is written in first person. Female gender, Y/N, but feel free to change the gender, name, or anything else that makes you more comfortable.♡
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YOUR POV:
You are walking. Or at least you think so. You don’t remember exactly how long it’s been, but it’s been long time since you’ve been practically going on autopilot. Walking, eating, and just going through the motions.
You just land in an island in the middle of the New World. All because Sand Roswald your lord and celestial dragon wanted to "buy" a jewel for his daughter that was now being sold in one of the best jewelry stores of the Red Line. I say "buy" because, of course, he would take whatever he wanted without caring what the store owner thought, and anyone who got in his way would be the one to lose. Just like what happened to me, but that’s another story.
All I could see were the yellow, worn cobblestones of the main street in the capital. I heard the screams and whimpers of people as they knelt, trying to avoid his gaze, and I could even hear footsteps as people ran, trying to hide somewhere else, trying to stay as far as possible. Mean while, in my head words repeated over and over: “Walk, look down, and everything will be fine.”
After so many years, the Sea Rock shackles hanging in my wrist where like part of my own body; I had learned to live with that weight. With that pain.
MARCO’S POV:
“All this will cost you 200 berris,” said the owner at the medicine shop.
“Alright, give me a second. Ace, hand me the bag.” The silence made me look back; Ace wasn’t there, and somehow I wasn’t surprised. The damn idiot had gotten lost again. I can’t take it anymore. Now I have to go look for him, and to top it all off he took all the money with him.”
The Whitebeard pirates had just landed that day, looking for supplies, and they had to set sail again quickly to complete an important mission. So they had just enough time to grab what they needed and leave.
“My friend has gone with the money; hold this for me, and I’ll be back for it.” Just as the owner was about to respond, a wave of people running and screaming in desperation rushed past the store. “What happened? What’s wrong with the people?”
“From what I understand, a celestial dragon is coming to the city today. If I were you, I’d stay inside until it’s gone. As far as I know, it’s Saint Rosward. They’re one of the cruelest families out there… if any of them could be considered merciful,” the man explained with kindess.
“I don’t have time for that. I need to find my berries and leave as soon as possible. Don’t worry, I’ll be back,” I replied with a friendly smile.
I stepped out into the deserted street. There was no one left; people were either already hiding or kneeling in the main street.
This could be dangerous. I need to be careful. I thought, and that’s when it hit me… If I were Ace, ¿Where would I have gone?… ¡THE MARKET! Which, of course, is on the main street…
Hidden under my cloak and trying not to draw too much attention, I made my way to the main street and knelt down with the rest of the citizens. Moving quickly, I tried to get to the front rows so I could take a better look at the market area. As I got closer, I saw three armed men and a girl in the middle, all at the entrance of a jewelry store. Through the window, Saint Rosward with a jewel on his hands. I looked around and suddenly, I SAW HIM. The idiot was on the roof of that same building, gesturing at me while laughing and eating an apple.
“What an idiot…” I thought as I signaled for him to come down. At that very moment, the atmosphere changed, and the entire scene around the street shifted. A single element was enough to send a chill down my spine. Something was about to happen, and that made me look towards the store’s door. The girl was looking up, at me to be more specific, straight into my eyes, and that’s when I realized.
I looked her up and down, inch by inch, for seconds that felt like hours. The girl was young, practically a child to me, though it was hard to tell since not a single inch of her body was visible. An old, tattered cloak, almost like a sack of potatoes, covered every part of her body, except her bare feet, covered in blood and mud, and her hands, which were bound by sea stone handcuffs. Her long, tangled brown hair and dark brown eyes were the only visible parts. I scanned her nose, cheekbones, mouth… eyes… those eyes.... so familiar, and then an image came to mind: my mother, and this girl was the spitting image of her.
“Y/N…” I sighed. But it was impossible; my sister was dead. Or so they told me, I think. I don’t know. It’s impossible, what are the odds anyway? Exactly… None.
The girl looked at me, freeze, staring deeply without breaking eye contact, and then her expression changed, as if she had seen a ghost. The truth is, my face must look similar right now.
Her facial expression changed yet again and her tear-filled eyes brought back memories, memories of my childhood, which I’d rather forget.
A blow. A weapon struck her head, and blood began to flow.
“What’s wrong with you? Stop crying. Shut up,” one of the guards shouted. “If Saint Rosward sees you… ¿You won’t want to spend another week in the box, eh, slut?”
She didn’t take her eyes off me, and then a voice echoed in my head, saying, “Now.” I don’t know where it came from, perhaps from within me, from the deepest part, but I listened to it because next thing i know is that I stood up and ran, ran as fast as I could towards one of the guards, ready to hit him and steal his weapon. At the same time, almost as if she knew what I was going to do, the girl stood up, dodging the guard’s blows with ease, kicking him several times, and stealing his weapon. Without using her hands.
“Right!” she shouted, and tossed the wepon to me. I turn right and the weapon falls into my hands. I manage to shoot the guard in front of me.
Another guard falls behind me from a bullet entering his forehead. As I turn around, I spot Izou looking at me with an alarmed expression, probably thinking that I’m crazy.
Meanwhile, Saint Rosward and the rest of his guards and slaves come out of the store due to the commotion at the entrance. They find three guards on the ground, and me standing right in front of him.
“Damn bitch, if I didn’t need you, I’d kill you right here. Come on, grab her and kill the others,” Saint Rosward shouted furiously. I swear, at that moment, it seemed like he could have erupted into flames all over his body; his expression was one of pure rage. In fact his clothes began to catch fire, flames rising from the bottom of his tunic. ¿Does he have that power?¿ Has he eaten a Devil Fruit?¿ Which one? But then it hits me: !!!ACE¡¡¡¡
Saint Rosward begins to scream and jump around like a madman while his guards try to put out the fire now spreading across his clothes.
“¡Run! I´ll see you guys on the ship,” Ace says as a grin formed his lips.
Without thinking it much, I look at Izou; we both nod. I quickly head towards the girl and take her hand. The three of us run towards the port amidst the commotion of the people; no one does a thing, no one moves except us.
Y/N POV:
I’m still on autopilot. ¿What just happened?
Run. It’s the only thing I can think of; my whole body is trembling, numb from so many years of being unable to move, and though my feet, my legs are doing their best, the sea stone cuffs are hard to ignore now. The broken and unstable cobblestone ground makes me trip, and fall to the ground, unable to catch myself as my hands are bound.
Everything around me is shaking; I was so close to escaping, a glimmer of hope in my heart, and now I’ve lost it so quickly.
“¡She’s my sister!” I hear footsteps ahead. Strong, big arms lift me up. A silouette in a pink and purple kimono lifts me onto one of its shoulders and starts running without saying a word.
I let myself be carried, and for the first time in eight years, I feel safe enough to close my eyes and let my body relax. So much that I even passed out.
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I open my eyes. My whole body hurts; my muscles and bones ache so much that I let out a small groan when I try to move. My eyes slowly adjust to the light. I’m in a room, an infirmary, and although the room is small, it has the basics: a bed, a sink, and cabinets with countless shelves and various potions. Next to me, a blond boy in a lilac shirt sleeps in a chair. He slowly begins to open his eyes.
“Y/N ¡You’re awake!” he shouts, not realizing the volume of his words. "I mean… well…¿ Are you Y/N? ¿Who are you?”
“Marco… I…”
A deathly silence filled the room. Just for a few seconds, before voices behind the door interrupted the conversation.
“Ace, stop it. You can’t go in there, get lost idiot.” An unfamiliar voice spoke behind the door.
“Come on, Thatch, I’ll give Marco the food, don’t worry. We’re a very close crew and need to help each other out, so let me help by delivering this food to Marco.” This time the voice was more familiar, though I didn’t know why it seemed so familiar…
“All you want is eat that food yourself. Give it back to me…”
Suddenly, the door bursts open with a loud bang, a reven hair boy with a very peculiar hat enters the room. Behind him, a man in a chef’s jacket follows and you could tell that he wants to kill the young man in front of him.
“¡MARCO’S SISTER IS AWAKE! ¿Are you hungry? Here. I brought you food,” he said with a cocky smile.
“Ace, get out of here, I need to talk to her,” Marco replied with a frown, pushing the boy out of the room and closing the door with a bang. “I’ll bring you some food later.¿ Are you hungry?”
“It’s okay, it doesn’t matter. I’m not hungry,” I replied, looking down. The truth is you were straving. But thats a feeling you long ago abandon.
“¿Are you really Y/N?”
“Yes,” I replied timidly.
“If you really are, prove it. Show me the mark.”
"Never say who you are, never show them…" those words came to mind forcefully, too forcefully. But it was Marco, I was sure. It had been 15 years since I’d seen him, and although we were children, I knew it was him, that face, that hair… unmistakable. Besides, it was my only chance to dont go back, to never go back.
I turned around, giving my back to Marco, who looked dubious at the girl in front of him. I lowered the cloak, letting him see my completely bare back. Marco let out a gasp. There it was. Right on the neck, that symbol, which identified me unmistakably. Below it, another mark: the mark of the celestial dragons slaves.
A shiver ran down Marco’s spine, and terror invaded his body. Immobilized, unable to make a sound. I turned around: “Now show me yours.”
Marco turned around quickly, lowering his shirt to show me his.
“Bathe and dress, in a few hours we’ll arrive at the Moby Dick,” he said, tossing a towel into my arms. And before I could utter another word, he opened the door and left.
The idea of a bath sounded good; I can’t even remember the last time I bathed… in a pleasant bath of cause, since the cold water hoses of Marie Geoise... I wouldn’t know if they could be considered a bath.
With some reluctance and embarrassment, I opened the door, ready to find the bathroom… ¿How could Marco leave me alone? ¿Couldn’t he have shown me where the bathroom was?. I walked down the hallway, looking for something indicating to be a bathroom, and suddenly, the sound of running water reached my ears. “There it is.” At the end of the hallway, a large open door led to long and large bathtubs, the air condensed with all the steam from the hot water. “¡Hot water, finally!” I couldn’t believe it, nor could I wait to immerse myself in it. I quickly entered, touching the water with my foot, and suddenly I felt my whole body tremble, all the energy, the little I had, vanished. The sea stone cuffs. I had completely forgotten about them, they had become part of me, so much that I didn’t notice them. “I should better wash at the sink.”
I headed to the sink, and at that moment, behind me, a lot of water started to flow upwards, and with a great crash of water against the walls, a tall, muscular figure emerged from the bathtub.
A stifled scream escaped my throat; I managed to stop it by covering my mouth with my hands and instinctively hid under one of the sinks. The figure slowly emerged from the water; it seemed to be difficult for him too… It was the boy who entered the infirmary with the food. I started to scan his muscular tan body, naked… :¿¿¡NAKED??!! At that very moment, I woke from my trance. I better get out of here immediately. Crawling, I managed to reach the door and leave the bathroom, running down the hallway back to the infirmary, locking the door and hiding there. SHIT.
NEXT CHAPTER
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asexualbookbird ¡ 1 month ago
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25 in 2025
Sigh. I've been bullied. I guess. I did a big swing and a miss on last years list, but I have a Plan this time. A Theme. A Goal. This will be mostly comprised of my Illumicrate books so I can decide if it is in fact worth it to keep my subscription going until the Alecto edition gets announced. If I don't actually enjoy the majority of the books in these boxes then what's the point, yknow?
So here's this years color key:
Green - Carry over from last year (not carrying over every missed book, which probably means I should just get rid of them huh)
Purple - Illumicrate books
Blue - I own these in physical form, but they're not from Illumicrate
Labyrinth's Heart by MA Carrick
The Faithless by CL Clark
The Art of Prophecy by Wesley Chu
The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri
City of Bones by Martha Wells
Witch King by Martha Wells
After the Forest by Kell Woods
Voyage of the Damned by Frances White
Of Jade and Dragons by Amber Chen
The Phoenix Keeper by SA Maclean
A Dark and Drowning Tide by Allison Saft
Until We Shatter by Kate Dylan
Mistress of Lies by KM Enright
Hammajang Luck by Makana Yamamoto
A Sorceress Comes to Call by T Kingfisher
The Bone Shard War by Andrea Stewart
The Last Hour Between Worlds by Melissa Caruso
The Spare Man by Mary Robinette Kowal
He Who Drowned the World by Shelley Parker Chan
All Those Explosions Were Someone Else's Fault by James Alan Gardner
The Tainted Cup by Robert Jackson Bennett
The Spellshop by Sarah Beth Durst
Can't Spell Treason Without Tea by Rebecca Thorne
In the Ravenous Dark by AM Strickland
A Conjuring of Light by VE Schwab
PHEW. Okay. A fw things to note. A Dark and Drowning Tide is an Illumicrate book, but I didn't pay for it. A friend gave it to me after I skipped that month because she wasn't interested. I always look up book spoilers and skip if I'm not interested and if I'm uninterested in any of the stuff I'll skip even if the book seems neat. That month the box was full of fandoms I didn't care about, so my friends said "here, take my copy" and I said "yay! Free book!"
The Last Hour Between Worlds I think was also an Illumicrate book? They do fanart for it so I assume it was at some point. I did not get it. This is not the IC edition. I was not thrilled about The Tethered Mage so I was going to get this out of the library. Then my mom bought it for me for the holidays. So yay! Free book!
I think I would also like to keep track of books I purchase this year. I'd like to cut down on buying books that I won't love. So I'd like to utilise my library more. Win win, I think! And that seems easier than a full out ban since yeah sometimes I do enjoy little treats! Books purchased for other people do not count, obviously.
There are also some books I'd like to reread this year, mainly The Bone Maker because I've been saying that since I read it the first time. And honestly, I've been chasing the same vibes and haven't been able to match it (Godkiller got close!).
As usual, I reserve the right to pretend this post doesn't exist, but I think I've set myself up for success here :)
I don't know who hasn't done this by now @logarithmicpanda ? Have you?? Consider yourself tagged >:3c
oh right I was bullied tagged by @bigcats-birds-and-books
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nalyra-dreaming ¡ 2 years ago
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15 Questions 15 Mutuals
I was tagged by @oh-goodness-loki - TYSM dear!!!
1. Are you named after anyone? No... my Mom liked the name. (I hate it btw, and have taken on another in day-to-day life.)
2. When was the last time you cried? The other day, watching "For all mankind" (which is better than I had thought it would be?!)
3. Do you have kids? A daughter.
4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? MEEEEEE???? ^^
5. What sports do you play/have played? I used to ride. Stopped when I got pregnant.
6. What's the first thing you notice about people? Whether they hold eye-contact, maybe?
7. What's your eye color? Dark brown.
8. Scary movies or happy endings? Depends. I don't like torture movies, but I do not like overly saccharine stuff either. Aliens as a prime example for both?! :)
9. Any special talents? Errr.... I used to have a lyrical soprano... wanted to be an opera singer once upon a time.
10. Where were you born? Skipping, sorry.
11. What are your hobbies? Reading, video games, music, vampires. I also read a lot.
12. Do you have pets? I have a cat, Mo.
13. How tall are you? 5'4"
14. Favorite subject in school? Biology and philosophy
15. Dream job? Not sure. I used to love my job a lot, but now it's more and more meetings and... well.
Tagging:
@prigorie @isabellehemlock @lynnenne, @thefairylights @slutaciouslestat @inkyblotposts @burstingbone @blackgirlasis @alcassin @shashiatnight @anannua @dreamofme9 @danissa10 @redversaillesrose @onlymywishfulthinking ... and whoever wants to!
(Feel free to ignore this if you don't want to, obviously^^)
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apostaterevolutionary ¡ 2 months ago
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So another thing I want to talk about post-veilguard re: the lore. There's been plenty of long explorations of the de-fanging or just skipping entirely when it comes to the political stuff and I think the topic's been covered pretty well by others at this point, so I won't dwell on that. But I do want to talk a bit about the higher, more mystical lore with respect to gods/religions and the direction it's taken since inquisition's dlcs. Because... ngl, I didn't love it then, and I don't love it now
(Veilguard spoilers, but this also is about inquisition's dlcs too)
So. First off: I have not actually played the descent or trespasser. Because, at the time they were released, I was playing on previous gen consoles and thus I literally could not buy them even if I’d wanted to (and at the time, I did want to). I maintain that was incredibly dumb 10 years later, given trespasser was the actual ending of the game locked behind a price tag, but let's not beat skeletal horses huh lmao
Anyway. So I have only read about the events of those on the wiki/in people's posts (I don't enjoy watching let's plays unless it's someone doing something weird so). I own all the dlcs now, as I now have a computer that can run the game and I bought all of them, but every attempt to replay inquisition since my insane fervour when it first released has failed. I just can't finish the game, so I can't play the dlcs. Anyway. All of this to say: my knowledge of what happens in them may be skewed and even wrong. But I'm gonna talk about the topics anyway, so please feel free to chime in if I’ve got something wrong
So firstly: the titans. I remember really not liking this development when the dlc came out cause like. What? I read the wiki page then (and again recently, cause I remembered very little lmao) and honestly I still don't like it cause it just feels so... at odds with everything else in the lore? Idk. I still don't get how it fits in with absolutely anything. Feels out of nowhere and doesn’t really fit. But okay, they’re here now, and I’ll talk about their tie in to the rest of the lore later. But suffice to say: it just felt like a weird thing then and I maintain it does now too. Like it just doesn’t fit and feels like a weirdly forced addition. I guess that’s personal opinion but I gotta say it
But the bigger part of this is. The sort of... removal of all religions in Thedas for the sake of just. Elves were everything? At first, I really disliked the rewriting of elven gods as tyrants cause it's like... the simple, silly elves mourning everything they lost but actually what they lost was oppression and slavery even worse than today!!! That has implications I really dislike. But now it's... okay Tevinter gods? Well, people worshipping dragons makes sense, even if they weren't really gods - sike! They weren't just dragons either, they were fucked up dragons controlled by the elven gods. The elven gods which aren't even gods, but really just random people. Except those people were also fade spirits made physical. But still not gods! It's important that they are not in fact gods and just powerful mages! Oh also the maker is bullshit too and Solas was the maker, at least in the context of the golden city story (I'm actually fine with the maker and that story specifically not being real it's just. The combo of everything, you know). Also the elven not-gods destroyed the titans too! So also dwarven problems were their fault too! And destroying the titans created the fucking BLIGHT!!! You know, the worst thing to ever exist! Everything comes back to just these guys!!!
Like. It’s all Solas and the Evanuris all the way down. Everything is just them. It makes the world feel so… small. I don't like how everything's just narrowing in on one thing here? Fantasy with different races and religions are fun because it's like. I found the original stories interesting. The story of the elven gods and the forgotten ones being locked away by a trickster so that only he remains is such classic myth shit. I enjoy that. Lyrium being a weird, magic rock that just exists and also it’s poison? Yeah, that makes sense - we have radioactivity in real life lmao, why can't rocks be weird in a land of magic. The blight just. Existing as an evil thing, either as a result of the golden city story or something else - that’s also fine. And as much as the andrastian religion has done some terrible stuff (and the like. it just being christianity but jesus was a woman this time is kind of boring), the concept of worshipping an absent god is actually pretty interesting
And now it just feels like
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Idk to me it feels so limited to just boil all of these interesting mythologies and beliefs down to just... well it was all the Evanuris. Everything was the Evanuris. Also they weren't even gods, they were just terrible. There are no gods in this world. If you want a religion, better bring paragon worship to the surface or go join the Qun cause apparently they're the only ones who have any kind of factual stuff going on in their religions (for now, at least lmao)
I recall seeing a post somewhere asking why no one in this game is religious at all. Well, I think this is why: most of the religions are about to not exist anymore. The dwarves are mostly okay, cause paragons are just ancestors, they were real people (though I'm sure there are some who's history has been distorted). Like the titan thing is a thing but idk how bothered most dwarves are by that, it’s not really brought up much. The Qun doesn’t have any sort of deity that we know of so like. They're okay. Except they don't have a military so. That's a problem for the nation, which could lead to the religion ceasing to exist if anyone decides to conquer them back after all the shit. Idk. I'm an atheist irl lmao so this feels kinda weird to harp on but it is very weird to me for a fantasy game to just. Destroy all the gods and beliefs like that. I suppose it's a unique choice but still... Why
(I also just remembered we still have the Avvar I guess, but they worship spirits, no? Which are also not really gods, but at least that’s also a believable religious concept. I’ve never seen a fantasy setting with no real gods before honestly. It’s a very bold choice, one I’m not sure I like)
And maybe! I'm missing something, either something that was maybe hidden in a codex or book I haven’t read or something that happened in one of the dlcs I haven't played but. Idk. The world of thedas feels just so small and cramped now that we know that everything most citizens of the world has ever believed was false and just boiled down to a small handful of old timey tyrants. Even the falseness I could deal with, but the limiting of just. Oh it was all just these guys. That’s it. All them. That's just... I don't like it. The larger context of dragon age lore is… idk it’s been getting smaller and smaller since the end of inquisition and I don’t like that
I started drafting this partway through playing and one of the things I also talked about was ‘where the hell are future games going to go now???’ but now I’ve also seen the secret ending and that… once again implies there’s something bigger behind absolutely everything? I sincerely hope that’s in a like. Subtle influence thing and not ‘oh yeah, Loghain and Bartrand were actually ~manipulated~’ way cause taking away their agency makes them infinitely less interesting characters (plus Bartrand already has the lyrium idol as part of the reason he did what he did). Like pls don’t let this turn into an idea that people can’t just do terrible things. Please, we really don’t need that. That may not be where it’s going but idk, that got my hackles up lmao
AND apparently in the reddit AMA they said they were done with the Evanuris’ story but like… the Evanuris were just everything that’s ever been believed in? I guess they don’t have to personally show up but… idk I kinda figured there’s no way to get away from them now. Also Solas, is still kicking around, even though presumably with the veil being tied to him... assuming he did get out or was freed again, he wouldn't kill himself to tear down the veil, right? Right??? This isn't an issue that may come up one day????? I kinda feel like it's a little bit of a plot hole
But that’s kind of a side point. The larger thing here is how we see the major religions and mythologies in Thedas all just converge on the same thing, a thing which is no longer an issue so. They’re mostly just gone? I can’t imagine the chantry is going anywhere soon (though with the south so thoroughly fucked, who knows, maybe too many people died and the religion will die too cause the political power structure is completely gone – if Tevinter didn’t get a new, good leader during veilguard I’d say they’re definitely going to take advantage of the weakness of the south to make their empire big again. Also ngl I actually think that would be an interesting thing to happen but oh well lmao). Not only are there no actual gods in Thedas, almost every religion was actually this one group and that’s it. That’s just so bizarre to me and I don’t like the implications. Fantasy settings and religions and deities go hand in hand and I guess they don’t have to but. It does feel like the world is smaller now, not bigger
Idk I don’t really have a real big conclusion here it’s just. Why do this? Why tie so much of the lore back to just one group? A group you’re also apparently done with now? And with the secret ending hinting at yet another group that even more things are going to be tied back to… This feels like very simplistic storytelling, not complex storytelling to me. And I don’t like that
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