#The holiday season is very much over now. I have so much cleaning to do holy shit

[satans-knitwear]

Behold! An enormous snugglebeast.

It has cookie flavoured lipbalm on its head now.

[thebearer]

making the bed |carmen berzatto x reader| part one

prompt: carmen's stressed. food critics, a newborn baby, balancing work life and married life and now dad life; he's bound to break, everyone knows it. but no one ever thought he'd lash out on you.

or, part one of the devastation fic. based off this ask from the other day. two more parts to come.

contains: mega angst. mega angst, with no resolution in this part. hurt, no comfort (in this chapter, will be later in part 3). mean!carmen, very mean. mom!reader x dad!carmen with newborn teddy. fighting, language, carmen says mean stuff he doesn't mean. past mentions of trauma, family trauma, mikey mentioned. very angsty and a little heavy, please read at your own discretion. word count- 3.5k+.

"Are you ok?"

Carmen now understood why that phrase used to send Donna into such a blind rage, lips pursing and jaw clenching more and more every time he heard it. First at work, then with you, it felt never ending.

It was beginning to feel like critic season with how many were coming in, snooty and demanding to be impressed. It couldn't have come at a worst time, right in the middle of busy season with the start of the holidays. Days at The Bear were filled with frantic panic, running around, making sure everything was perfect, accounted for, and Carmen always had the sinking feeling it wasn't- that he'd forgotten something, messed something up. 

It wasn't rare for him to work himself up like this, a normal that you always warned him about, but he'd always had a solitude. As long as he'd known you, he'd had a place to go, to unwind, to let himself rest and reset with you. And he still did, it was just shared now with a newborn.

Dorothea Michelle. Teddy, for short. The light of his life, yours too. Nearly two months old with a set of lungs that sounded much louder, much more developed than that. Nights were long, sleepless, spent trying to lull Teddy back to sleep, awake even if he wasn't up with her. Carmen couldn't allow himself the selfishness to relax, to rewind, to "take it easy" like everyone told him to. At work, he was the boss; at home, he was a dad.

"Fuck, fuck," Carmen's sleepy stare was broken by a lick of bubbling heat, the lamb's roux popping with the high heat, splashing all over Carmen's chef whites.

"Jeff, c'mon," Tina clicked, shaking her head, moving the pan to lower heat. "What're you doin'?"

Carmen grit his teeth, snatching a rag off the stainless steel counter tops, scrubbing the burgundy stain, huffing when it only spread the stain.

"What happened?" Sydney turned, looking from the burnt sauce to Carmen's stained chef shirt. "Oh,"

"Do we have a spare coat?" Carmen huffed, throwing the rag down with a firm smack against the counter.

"I don't think so, Carm." Sydney shook her head. "You took the last ones home with you two days ago. The wine-"

"-I know, Chef, I know." Carmen snapped, running a hand through his hair. "Fuck, I-I can't fuckin' serve the critics lookin' like this. With shit all over me- fuck."

"Hey, easy, easy," Richie turned the corner, his hands held up. "What's goin' on?"

"Jeff got sauce over him. He doesn't have any clean clothes." Tina muttered, irritated that she had to fix his mess, more irritated that he wasn't taking care of himself. You have a baby, Jeff, you need to rest and take some time, she'd told him. Carmen only waved her off.

"Okay, okay, hey, that's no problem." Richie's voice raised, lifting over Carmen's. "You go home and change, get your spare, check on my beautiful goddaughter, and then come back with your A game. Yes?"

Carmen didn't even humor him with a snarky remark, yanking his coat off and stomping towards the office to grab his things. Richie and Tina looked at each other, shaking their head gently.

"Kids runnin' thin, T." Richie muttered with a sigh. "He's gonna break. It's gonna be bad."

"Yeah, he is. Gonna wear himself out before then." Tina shook her head. "Jeff needs a vacation." They both jumped at the slamming of the backdoor, Carmen's angry exit shaking the foundation.

"Needs to be fuckin' medicated. Fuckin' lunatic." Richie scoffed, rolling his eyes at Carmen's dramatics.

The drive home was filled with silence, Carmen's iron grip on the wheel, tearing through the traffic towards the house- his house, his home. 

Home, but it didn't provide the same comfort that it usually did. Carmen's shoulders still stayed tense, buzzing with rage, not dissipating when he thought of you, or of Teddy, knowing you'd both be there, excited to see him. 

You jumped at the sound of the car door slamming, peeking out the window to see Carmen's parked next to yours, furiously stomping up the front steps. You frowned, grabbing the baby monitor, walking towards the front door.

Carmen nearly hit you with how fiercely he flung the door open. "Woah," You reached for the door, stopping it before he could flick it shut. "Carm, don't slam it. Teddy's asleep. I just got her down." You frowned at him, shutting it slowly.

Carmen looked at you but didn't speak, looking through you with a rage that had your spine tingling before he finally broke his gaze, stomping towards the laundry room. "Carm? What’re you doing home? Don’t you have dinner soon?" You hesitated slightly, lingering in the doorway with an uncertainty you hadn’t felt with Carmen before. 

Carmen didn’t answer, his jaw still ground tight while he rummaged through the clean clothes, carelessly unfolding and shifting the folded clothes.

"Carmen," You said more firmly, caching his gaze. He didn't speak still, just stared at you- through you. "Are you ok?" You lifted a brow, features softening in worry.

Carmen paused, eyes closing, shoulders tensing in agitation. Are you ok? His ears rang, a familiar rage that he hadn't felt in years bubbling up deep in his chest. Frustrated and blinding and rampant, heat rushing through his veins, pulling himself further and further from reality into someplace different- someplace darker in his mind. 

"What's wrong?" You pressed, he could barely hear it, ears ringing at your question. "Did something happen? Did the critic come-"

"-Where's my chef whites?" Carmen barked, cutting you off, his chest tightening more and more with every heavy heave of his chest. You flinched at his tone.

"Uh, I-I haven't seen the whites. I washed your white tee-"

“-You what? Y-You what?” Carmen spat, eye widening with a wild, raged glint in his eye. Your stomach flipped and fell with fear, stepping back instinctively. 

“I-I washed your tee, Carm, that’s all that you left in the laundry basket-” 

"-Are you fucking kidding me?" Carmen boomed, his head spinning, body buzzing with rage. Your breath hitched, frozen in fear at the anger in his tone, the roar of his voice bouncing off the walls, echoing through your ears in a painful drum. 

Carmen moved, snatching the dirty clothes basket, dumping it into the ground with a shake until the dirty chef coat fell on top. He gripped the basket, flinging it across the room with a hard throw. The final push to his bad mood that sent him right over the edge, crashing into a pit of blinding fury, aggravation, breaking him from the inside out.

"Fuck!" Carmen roared, his voice shaking the walls, your breath leaving your lungs in a trembling exhale of fear. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! This is- This is- Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” 

You tensed in shock, gripping the baby monitor in fear, maybe surprise, as it started to buzz to life with Teddy's startled whimpers. Her small cries pulled you out of your frozen state, something deeper than fear replacing the ache in your stomach. 

"Carmen-" You gaped, voice wobbling with uncertainty, taking slow shuffled steps towards the stairs. “Carmen, calm-calm down. Ok? Calm down.” 

“Calm down? You want me to fuckin’ calm down?” Carmen sneered, an angry red flush blossoming in splotchy deep hues up his neck, towards his cheeks. “You don’t do shit, nothin’ that I fuckin’ ask for! Just sit around all fuckin’ day an-and I’m supposed to calm down?” 

“Carmen,” Your voice wobbled, throat tight with tears, hurt and fear strangling your words. “I-You didn’t ask me to wash them. I-I didn’t know. They weren’t in the hamper-” 

“-I shouldn’t have to ask you to wash them!” Carmen roared, eyes so wide you thought they might pop right out of his head, neck vein protruding on exemplifying his rage. “You know what I’m going through! You know how much fuckin’ stress I’m under! I go to that-that shit hole, an-and work my fuckin’ ass off so you don’t have to! Then I come home, and I-I can’t even get a second of peace!” 

“Stop,” You hiss, finally regaining your composure, his words fully sinking into you  now, feeling the full effect of them. “I-I just had a baby. I’m still on maternity leave taking care of a baby- our baby, and I’m tired too. But I’m not yelling at you-” 

“-Oh, right. Right.” Carmen laughs sarcastically, humorless as he runs his hand down his face. It felt mocking, left you feeling small and too vulnerable for your liking. “Because in between your napping an-and feeding, you couldn’t stick a fucking jacket in the wash, right? You’re so busy.”  

“What is wrong with you?” You snap, hoping he can’t hear the tears in your voice, the way your voice shakes with emotion. 

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me?” Carmen scoffs, throwing his hands out. “I get no fuckin' sleep, go work my fuckin' ass off, a-and then I come home so I can go back and work my ass off some more, and-and you can’t do one simple fuckin’ thing? You can’t help me out? And then you wanna know what’s wrong with me? When you sit on your ass all fuckin’ day-” 

Teddy’s piercing wail pulls you out of your shocked trance, nose and throat burning with hurt filled tears you refuse to shed. Instead, you turn, climbing the stairs on shaky legs, the sound of Teddy’s cries growing louder and louder. Anchovy watches you from the top of the stairs, sensing the tension, your upset, sliding against your leg as if to comfort you. 

Carmen scoffs, hands buzzing and trembling with rage, the ringing in his ears growing louder and louder with each of your footsteps on the stairs and down the hall. He can barely hear Teddy’s sobs, hands threading through his hair, pulling at his scalp. He sees you walk towards the bedroom, quickly, hugging Teddy to your chest. 

“Oh, don’t go fuckin’ do it now!” Carmen roared, your ignoring him only infuriating him further. “It won’t be ready in time now. I’ll just look like a fuckin’ idiot for the critic tonight! Not that you care! Why would you, huh? I-I mean just our livelihood, just our fuckin’ income!” 

You swallowed back your tears, head tilting towards the ceiling, hands shaking with every shove of your things into the overnight bag. Just enough to get you through the night, the next day. A few essentials, Teddy’s spare onesies, a charger, your wallet- you stopped mid-shove of your items into the weekender bag, the sun’s rays catching in your wedding ring. Your heart fell, more and more, you weren’t sure how that was even possible. 

Carmen’s furious voice was still booming from downstairs, ringing and shaking in his furious fit. Richie and Sugar both warned you about Carmen’s tantrums, brought them up to embarrass him, tease him about it until he was red faced and hissing hushed threats at them. You never, never in your wildest dreams thought you’d be on the receiving end of one. 

You jumped, another slam of something Carmen had thrown, maybe hit in a fit of rage, causing Teddy to wail louder, Anchovy skittering nervously away. Tears leaked out of your eyes, twisting the ring off your finger, setting it on Carmen’s bedside table. Pulling the carrier out of the closet, Anchovy got in much easier than usual, which you were thankful for. 

Carmen was gripping the marble of the countertop when he heard you again, walking from the bottom of the stairs, quick steps towards the door to the garage, Teddy’s voice nearly hoarse from her crying. You kept your head high, tunnel-visioned towards your car, ignoring his heavy breathing and frantic pacing. 

“Wha-What are you doin’?” Carmen’s voice was softer now, still with a jagged edge that was cutting and harsh. The car door opened, the baby carrier hooked into the car seat. 

“Hey, wha- what are you- where’re you goin’? What’re you doin’?” Carmen’s heart dropped in a damning rush of hour, stumbling on heavy legs towards the garage. You ignored him, shushing Teddy gently, running a calming hand over her wet cheek, trying to coax her paci into her mouth. 

“Baby, no-no, no. Hey, no, I-I- What-” Carmen’s chest felt tight, mind numbing and racing, stuttering nervously. You reached for your bag, his hand reaching to grab the strap. “Whe-Where’re you-”

“-Don’t touch me.” You hissed, teeth bared, eyes shining with tears. Carmen flinched, pulling his hand back like he’d touched a hot stove. “Don’t you dare fucking touch me.” You sneered, pinning him with a watery glare that had his stomach turning in sickening fear. 

“Baby, hey, w-wait-C’mon, d-don’t-You don’t, you don’t need to do this, ok? I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Carmen choked out the words, frantic and unsure, his hands shaking when they ghosted over you back just for a moment. Wanting to touch you, to hold you, to grab you and keep you from leaving, but too scared to. Instead, he grabbed the car door you flung open, holding it when you tried to yank it closed. 

“Let go.” You hissed, sniffling back wet, snotty tears of fury and hurt. 

“Please, don’t-do-don’t do this. Please, baby, I-I’m sorry.” Carmen begged, blue eyes deepening with the burning red hues of tears, bloodshot and lashes wet. “Don’t-Don’t do this-” 

“-I didn’t do this.” You sneered, leaving Carmen flinching at your words. “Don’t you dare try to say this was me. After how you just talked to me? The shit you said to me in there? You think I’m going to stay?” Your voice cracked with emotion, lips pressing together to keep a cry in. 

“No, no, no, no, no, baby, please. Please, ju-just come inside. Come inside, please? Please, don’t-” 

“You don’t get to talk to me like that. To say that kinda stuff to me. That hurt, Carmen. That was mean.” You glared at him, tears leaking out of the corner of his eyes. “I don’t care if you’re stressed. I don’t care what’s going on- nothing, and I mean nothing, warrants you talking to me like that. Just because you fucked up, because you forgot to ask me to do it, because you’re stressed out- I don’t care what it is. You don’t talk to me like that, say those things when I’ve been home all day taking care of my ch- our child.” You nod back towards the sniffling baby, whimpering and crying half heartedly, her little eyelids drooping with sleep that was interrupted. 

Carmen felt sick, his knees tightening in fear, he was sure they might give out, that he might fall to the ground right there. Looking at the tiny baby, lip jutted and shaking in the mirror hooked on the back of the seat, then back at you, eyes red-rimmed and glaring at him with a hurt filled anger. 

“Don’t-” Carmen’s chest shook, a white-knuckled grip on the door. 

Your own hand curled around the door’s inner handle, yanking it away from him. “Move,” You hissed, pulling again. 

Carmen wasn’t sure why he let it go, why he let you shut it, locking the door in case he tried to open it again. Why he let you pull out of the driveway, why he didn’t stop you, why he didn’t run after you, only taking soft shuffles down the drive like a zombie as you drove away. Standing in the drive, Carmen swallowed down the spit that pooled in his mouth, stomach churning, sure he was going to be sick. 

He managed to trudge back to the garage, mind racing and far away, the ringing in his ears dulling but still deafening. It felt like he was in a dream- a nightmare, a hallucinating trance that felt like a sick, sick dream- Carmen was hoping it was. That he’d wake up and find you next to him asleep. That he could hug you, pull you into him, nose buried in your neck, still warm from your slumber. 

As the sun began to sink low into the sky, minutes turning into hours that Carmen sat motionless in the garage, staring in a trancelike state, he realized that this wasn’t a dream or a nightmare. No this was his reality, a horrific reality that he’d made into his own. Carmen sat, eyes trained on the concrete of the garage, voice racing and blending in his mind- his words, yours, Teddy’s cries, Natalie and Richie’s, flashbacks of his mother screaming fits. 

He didn’t move, frozen in chilling, eerie fear. What ifs and terrifying possible scenarios, consequences to his own actions that left him feeling sick, hands trembling. A spiraling of fears that only drug him deeper and deeper with every haunting replay of his outburst. Even the flashing of headlights turning into the driveway, filling the garage with light, didn’t pull him from his trance. 

“The fuck is he- Cousin!” Richie roared, laying on the horn. Carmen didn’t move, didn’t acknowledge that he heard it, only stared. Richie frowned, turning the car off, throwing the door open. 

“Cousin? Carm? What-What are you doin’? Dinner service started an hour ago. Syd is freakin’ the fuck out.” Richie threw his hands up, walking towards the man who still didn’t move. Richie’s heart skipped, flashbacks of Mikey flooding into his vision, parallels of the two brothers blurring before him. 

“Yo, Carm, you-you good?” Richie stepped into the garage, his spine tingling with icy fear. It was quiet, an eerie, unsettling quiet. “Cousin, hey, what-what’s wrong?” 

Carmen's chest rose and fell, tighter and tighter. He was suffocating, head spinning and mind racing so fast he felt light headed. He could barely hear Richie’s voice over the noise in his head, Richie’s hand shaking his shoulder finally breaking his trance enough to meet his eyes, rounded in fear filled question. 

“Carmen, what’s wrong? Is it- Don’t fuckin’ tell me it’s the baby. What the fuck is goin’ on-” 

“-She left.” Carmen’s voice shook, raspy and scared. His tongue still felt too thick, head still spinning. He wasn’t even sure he said it, Richie’s widening eyes the only thing confirming that he had said it. 

“What? Who-Who left? Who?” Richie looked around, like the clues might be there, sure that Carmen wasn’t talking about you. No, he wouldn’t- he couldn’t. Not you. 

Carmen’s breath hitched, a strangling of a sob caught in his throat, running his hand over his face. Richie didn’t miss the way it trembled, shaking even as it rested over his eyes. Your car was gone, the house too quiet, no baby Teddy crying, nothing but silence was left. 

Richie’s heartbeat crawled into a rapid, scared pace. “Why? Wh-Why would she-” Richie looked at Carmen, eyes wide but still, reading his expression. “No. No, Cousin, no. What-What did you do? Carmen,” Richie grabbed both his shoulders, shaking him lightly until he met his gaze. “What did you do?” 

Carmen’s face began to crack, behind his eyes, Richie could see flashbacks of something- something he didn’t know what, but whatever it was, it was painful. That was evident by the fear that glossed over Carmen’s eyes, realization and horror. Carmen’s shoulders shook, frame rocking with a sob he tried to swallow, but couldn’t. Deep cries, guttural sobs breaking out of his frame, heels of his hands pressed to his eyes, fingers curled and clenched around his greasy curls in agony. 

The damning realization flooded over him, that you’d left. 

You’d left, you’d taken Teddy, taken Anchovy- you’d left because he’d driven you away. His angry outburst, petulant, mean, hurtful- he’d been so cruel to you. You. His wife, the love of his life, mother of his child, the one person who loved him endlessly without stipulations or boundaries, the one person who truly understood him. 

And he’d driven you away. 

He wished he could blame his mom, his dad, his family for fucking him up so severely, maybe Mikey, even, for leaving him the shit show that was the restaurant, making his anxieties worse and fuse shorter. But sitting in the empty garage, Richie standing above him in silent shock, his sobs and angry sniffles echoing off the cement floor, Carmen knew he had no one to blame but himself. 

He’d fucked up. Really fucked up. Fucked up in a way that made all the other times look obsolete. 

Carmen had fucked up, and for once, he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t avoid it, ignore it, deflect it like other times. Half hearted apologies and promises of change wouldn’t work, you weren’t here for him to even try to give them to you, and he didn’t know where you went. 

Carmen wasn’t sure where you went, how to fix this, why he’d done what he did, and a million other things that raced through his mind. What he did know, sitting in the too quiet garage, chest stuttering with heaving cries, was that he’d do anything. 

Anything, to get you back home. To make it right. To fix this and make it up to you. 

He wasn’t sure how, but he’d give up everything. Anything. His restaurant, his dreams, his hopes, his life, at this point, to make it up to you. 

[fairestwriting]

Hey, hello, would it be possible to request the first years with a crush or s/o who's constantly very warm so they can basically act as a human heating pad but despite this they're very touch starved and basically melt into hugs and cuddles, gender neutral pronouns would be great, thank you very much and merry (probably late) Christmas if you do this and same to you even if you don't!

another oldie (Visibly. im so sorry anon. i hope an awesome holiday season) i just had to take...... in the name of all my fellow human space heaters

Ace Trappola

One day, his hands got cold, and you were nearby, neck fully exposed, and Ace did what he would obviously do in this situation. Except it turned out he was the one shocked by how warm you are, even though he did make you jump a bit.

He's a fan of the physical affection. He doesn't fluster easily and likes showing you off all smug, linking your arms together or putting his over your shoulder while you're with your friends. The warmth is a great bonus.

When you cuddle up in a hot day, he whines about how you're gonna cook him alive and will jokingly "attempt" to push you off while giggling, then turning on the AC of his room or dragging you both somewhere cooler.

Deuce Spade

The first time you hug, Deuce gets spooked because he thinks you have a fever. He fusses over you for a few good minutes before you can explain anything. Then gets embarrassed of his reaction.

Being Deuce, he'll randomly revisit this worry, but mostly he just eases into it rather easily. He's a little shy, whether you're in public or not, but you can tell he feels comfortable with the way he leans into you.

Feels so bad if you're holding hands and his gets sweaty. Apologizes a billion times while wiping it clean on his shirt. Nevermind that it'd happen even if you weren't so warm, he just doesn't want you to ever feel awkward when touching him.

Jack Howl

Also really warm because of his wolf beastman genes, also surprisingly touchy. It's hard to tell which one of you is warmer, actually? Which in the end just means you end up comfortably cuddled up very oftwn.

...whenever you're away from others, of course. It's not that Jack hates the thought of PDA, but he "prefers to take it slow" (Read: Makes him blush way too easy)

Commiserates in the summer and celebrates in the winter if you're not very tolerant to heat like him. Sometimes he talks about his family's trips to the north with a voice softer than usual, hinting just a little bit that he'd really love it if you came along one day.

Epel Felmier

He's also on the warmer side temperature wise, but he's small, so he ends up getting cold surprisingly easily.

At first he's a bit spooked with the touchyness, really just because it's his first relationship, but it grows on him. A lot.

Epel thinks him getting cold easy-ish is embarrassing, so he really feels like he won the lottery here. Now he gets to put his arm around your waist to stay warm and look cool with you by his side, boy's on top of the world.

Sebek Zigvolt

Runs very cold. The first time your hand is anywhere on him he jumps a bit. The situation's like the inverse of someone who gets startled by their friend's cold hands pressed to their neck.

He briefly questions if you're really human, stammering something about how only beastmen are so warm. He's too distracted by how nice your warmth feels to make much sense.

He's so easily flustered every time you get cuddly, but if he even tries to push you off (Which he mostly just does if you're in public) it comes out all feeble. Even if he's trying to keep up with etiquette and you two actually have to step away from each other, it's all over his face that he misses the coziness.

if you wanna support my work, you can buy me a ko-fi or commission me!

[softxsuki]

Happy new year!! I hope your holiday season was amazing!!

If it’s no harm (you can ignore this if need!) could I request sanji, law or ace surprising the reader for their birthday? Thou has aged today and was wondering if that was okay:]

(Also I really love your work it’s very edible)

Sanji, Law, and Ace Surprise Reader For Their Birthday

| Pairings: Sanji x Gn!Reader, Law x Gn!Reader, Ace x Gn!Reader | Genre: Fluff | Post-Type: Headcanons | Word Count: 460 |

Warnings: none :)

Note: Happy New Year! I had a pretty great holiday, and so far I'm on track with everything I need to do. I hope you had a great holiday season! But I hope you had a great birthday (it's probably already past January 2 where you are, but Happy Birthday anyway!) It's not much, but I hope you enjoy it <3

Sanji:

It’s a given that Sanji is always affectionate and attentive towards you

But now that it’s your birthday, that affection multiplies

He spends all day in the kitchen cooking up your favorite foods and sweet treats, making sure Luffy doesn’t sneak any bites of food

It’s your special day, so you get first choice on everything

His surprise for you aside from his huge feast, is breakfast in bed

You’re truly treated like royalty from the moment you wake up, and that won’t end until the day is over

Works his butt off to ensure you have a great birthday

After cleaning up later at night, he’d spend some quality time with you, showering you in all the gifts he bought for you from some of the islands the crew stopped at on their journey

Law:

Omg this man is so shy

He wanted to so something special after learning it was your birthday, but he chooses to act like he doesn’t know it’s your birthday, so he can plan everything out and have it be a huge surprise later on

Law insists on doing everything himself, as he claims it would make it more special, so the rest of the crew is tasked with keeping you occupied so you don’t ruin your surprise

When the time comes for them to lead you to the designated area Law was using, he’s just standing there with a red face

He’s not used to this, he’s a tough looking guy on the outside, but he has a huge heart (so fitting for mr doctor over here lol)

But it’s all worth it to see the look of surprise on your face when you see everything he planned–he’s relieved 

Ace:

Ace’s surprise for you is a bit different form the guys above

He doesn't cook food for you or decorate a space for a celebration for you and the crew

But he decides he wants to make something for you, a hand threaded bracelet; one for you and one for him to match

Yet he struggles with his large thick fingers, and it ends up taking him a majority of the day to finish, but he’s happy with it

On the day of your birthday as the Whitebeard pirate wish you a happy birthday, eating the food that was prepared as everyone sings in celebration having a good time, Ace pulls you aside

He’s a little embarrassed that it isn’t much, but I just feel like handmade gifts mean so much more than buying something for someone because you know he took the time and effort to do that for you

Probably even tries and sneak you away from the rowdy bunch on deck so he can spend some quality time with you alone

Posted: 1/2/2024

[dollypopup]

We need to talk about misogyny in the lukola fandom, and how it originated in the rampant misogyny in the Polin fandom and just continued to grow, because unfortunately, the two deeply intersect, and there's been such a lack of nuance in so many discussions

interestingly enough, this is actually being exhibited in a lot of Luke Newton discourse. Not toward him necessarily, but to the women around him, in comparison to him, for better or worse, including Nicola. There's been a lot of discourse especially around Luke being 'jobless' in contrast to Nicola being 'booked and busy'. and even in rejection of that discussion, the defense becomes that she is an exception, because she is exceptional, and that of course others look less ambitious in comparison. And at first, I'm sure this LOOKS like it's praising a woman for her hard work and dunking on a man for what we imagine isn't.

but has anyone ever asked why Nicola is booked and busy, especially? does she want to be? or does she *have* to be?

I want you to think about just how many women over the age of 40 are getting major roles. How many love scenes you've seen that feature more mature women. How in Queen Charlotte, the focus was on a younger actress, how Violet's and Danbury's and Portia's and QCs actresses don't even have a kiss scripted.

How much of that is by design in the entertainment industry

Nicola, in many ways, is creating a recipe for burn out, but she works alongside wonderful actresses who are incredibly talented- and do not get the opportunities they SHOULD. Roles in the entertainment industry are largely written for young women in their 20s, young, conventional women. And Nicola KNOWS this. She's a businesswoman, and her craft IS her business. The clock is, unfortunately, ticking. This is a very insidious aspect of the misogynistic entertainment machine. Yes, Nicola is booked and busy right now- she's building her brand and trying to break out of the awful cycle of female actors getting a few big roles, and then get relegated to side characters or mum number 3. Should the entertainment industry write more roles for women over 40? YES!!! They should be major roles with poignant narratives!! But it isn't the reality we live in. She is actively fighting against the sexism of the industry she is living in, she cannot take a vacation.

Luke Newton, however, *can*. He has privilege as a man to take his time. Whilst Nicola's career is in danger of a downswing, Luke's is, by most statistics? Just beginning. Men continue to get major roles deep into their 30s, 40s, 50s. In fact, I think MOST male actors only build notoriety as they age. So Luke Newton has the privilege of TIME.

And let me very clear: I'm happy he can. And I wish Nicola could, too. Grinding ourselves to dust in the pursuit of the perfect capitalistic darling is only going to breed misery. The fandom is SO caught up in saying 'oh, look at how great it is that xyz has this role!' and 'booo he's unemployed and jobless etc. etc.' that we don't take the time to ask. . .why is it NECESSARY and in fact praise worthy to lick clean the boot of grind culture? Are we not all tired? Do we not all want downtime? Holiday? Vacation?

Luke Newton is doing what is healthy: he's pushing away from Social Media, didn't spend too much time promoting, disengaged from the fandom in online spaces but is still generous with his time in person, poured himself into his craft, did a hell of a promotion tour, and in the time between fitting and costumes and learning lines for Bridgerton Season 4? He's resting.

As. He. Should.

As *Nicola* should. Because she also pushed to continue engaging with a fanbase who she hopes will act as security for her as she ages out of the roles writers are pushing into the world. Nicola SHOULD BE ALLOWED HER REST!!! She should NOT be booked and busy!! She should NOT be grinding herself to dust for the sake of keeping herself in good light to become one of the few women who continue to be big names beyond her 40s.

She, however, can't. Not because of anything Luke Newton has done, he is not, as many people want to believe, a problem. He benefits from the system ALL his male coworkers do, and does his best to uplift the women around him, likely understanding the struggles of such having been raised surrounded by so many women, but he is not perpetuating the system or creating it. Instead of directing our criticism on Luke Newton, we SHOULD be directing it to the entertainment industry. So Luke Newton is on a break from a serial successful production he has a guaranteed role for: so what? He is afforded that privilege. Having downtime is not the death knell of his career as doomsayers are insisting.

The average age of an Academy Award Winner who is an actor is almost 50. The average age of an Academy Award Winner who is an actress is 37. (source)

Should we be mad? Yes.

Is this something to be mad at Luke Newton for specifically? NO. Many male actors take breaks and time in their career trajectory, because they know they have longevity. The discussion in this fandom is misplaced, and the root of that misplacement is twofold: sexism and capitalist worship. It isn't that Luke Newton lacks ambition and should be working harder- I argue he's doing what is best for him and most people in the long term. This is self care, and it's important.

No, the discussion is that Nicola is forced to work in a pressure pot because of the industry, and the fandom continues to praise her for it, all whilst turning noses up at those who don't or do not have to, and continuing to uphold the narrative that women must be a beacon of exceptionalism in order to curry respect. They continue to uphold her grind as a virtue- look how great it is that she's constantly posting, constantly engaging with the fandom, always auditioning, booked and busy- have you not asked if she would LIKE a vacation? she deserves one, same as Luke Newton.

What you're mad at is NOT Luke himself- but the patriarchy. What you're mad at is that women must be held to standards of near unreachable excellence. But instead of working together as women and having any actual discussion about it that's meaningful, it turns into a crock of shit that then shoves everyone in the backspray, especially other women.

The slutshaming misogyny that has been directed at Luke Newton's girlfriend- *yikes*.

Oh, A is a hanger on. She's 'poptart', she's portrayed with an ant emoji, she's 'toilet twerker', she's 'controlling him' or HE should control HER, she 'should be reigned in', she's jobless, she's an infant who needs her big strong boyfriend to take her social media away, she's not been 'claimed' (like luggage, like a THING), look at him, he doesn't feel ANYTHING toward her- not like Nicola.

Our good, darling Nicola versus that awful whore Antonia/Jade/Any Woman in Luke Newton's Circle.

This sexism is deep and pervasive- being angry he's dating her 'because she's thin'. Insisting she's a villain and everything she does is to 'rile up the fandom' or 'stir up trouble' or that she 'hates Nicola'.

You all do NOT know this woman. And I don't either!!! Maybe she IS a shit stirrer, maybe she is thriving in the drama.

But aren't most of y'all, too?

Polin fandom built so much off of putting down other women to uphold Penelope: Marina is a bitch who was TRICKING Colin and Penelope was just doing what she had to do!!! Of course she kept her secret from him, she was SCARED!!! Eloise is a privileged brat breaking the rules and putting herself in danger but Penelope is a rebel who is building her own success off of taking necessary risks!!!

Our good, Darling Penelope versus that evil whore Marina/Eloise/Cressida/Any Other Woman.

This fandom is predominately female. Most of us identify as women. And a lot of us are *mean* to other women. We uphold sexism in our fandoms, uncontested, as often as we please. But we frame it in criticism of a man and so that's okay- as if that in and of itself is somehow uplifting women, being tied to a feminist cause- but putting down other women in conspiracy theories and bullying them, as occurred to Jade, under the guise of 'oh I'm just criticizing Luke!' is disingenuous. It's an excuse. 'I'm mad at him for-' not being your fantasy.

And Nicola isn't, either.

The truth is, the people in this fandom don't have respect for EITHER of them, just in different ways. A pedestal is a pedestal is a pedestal, and no matter what, any human being will fall from it eventually. And this fandom has proven that when that happens, it will NOT be met with empathy.

Now think about who that will actually hurt in the long term.

A lot of people in this fandom have soul searching to do.

[lovelytsunoda]

the end of an era (and the start of a new one) (iv) // platonic! mercedes amg

summary: toto gives y/n the final verdict on her future with mercedes amg, and the results are better than she ever could have imagined.

pairing: platonic! mercedes amg petronas x female reader

warnings: this is actually the first installment of the series that doesn’t have any wow look at that-

author's note: here's a quick little chapter checking up on baby merc! this may seem like the end, but i promise it's not. im going to try my hardest to continue baby merc's story <3

the bowling alley was loud, and y/n had already broken a nail twice.

not that she minded, because for all she knew, this could be the last team outing that she was ever invited on. her field placement was coming to a close, and toto had never given her a final answer on where she was going next.

or if she was going anywhere at all. in a perfect world, she'd be staying with these people that she now called family. in the real world, life wasn't that simple.

but she could hope.

"george, you slimy cheating bastard!" she laughed, watching the briton score another strike. "come on, there's no way you're winning with that strong a lead."

"read it and weep, baby merc!" george laughed, taking a dramatic bow.

bowling had been lewis' idea. typically, taking the team bowling was something he did in japan. but with all the people leaving mercedes at the end of this season, he wanted to make sure they all got to be included in the team bonding ritual.

"every day you surprise me more and more." peter bonnington chuckled. "y/n, it's your go!"

"how am i supposed to match up to mr. posh spice over there?" she laughed, pointing at george before walking over to the ball machine. "i sacrificed a wonderful home manicure for this."

she bowled, taking half the pins out in one go, and all but two in the second. bowling had never been her strong suit, and normally she would have complained. but she found that her friendship with the team had grown and fostered so much that they could make even cleaning a bathroom a more enjoyable task.

she'd be really upset if she needed to let them go, that's for sure.

games finished (george had won, of course), the team sat around a big metal table (she felt like a character in a john hughes movie, but without the romantic interest. olli had texted her a few times since the holiday party, but she had continued to shoot him down), baskets of french fries, chicken tenders and a large salad for lewis in front of them.

it was bittersweet, with so many people leaving the team, and toto was the first to say so when he got up to give a speech.

"it's been a long season. the car was shit, but we made it work. we're also losing some valued members of this team. angela. nyck. james. you will forever be remembered, and know that you always have a home at mercedes if you want it."

the table started clapping as toto finished. y/n was going to miss nyck, but he'd still be around. just at a different team. she'd miss angela, but the physiotherapist would always be one phone call away if she needed her.

the three in question sat on one side of the table, teary eyed and grateful for the send-off.

"additionally, we have some new faces joining us for 2023 that i am very excited for you to meet." toto grinned. "i'd like to welcome our new reserve driver, mick schumacher."

next to y/n, mick blushed, trying to hide as the table cheererd for him, a tina turner song playing over the stereo as y/n laughed, pulling him in for a side hug.

"and, this comes as no surprise to any of us, on behalf of the mercedes amg petronas f1 team, i would like to formally offer our new intern, y/n y/l/n a permanent spot on the team for the 2023 and 2024 seasons. if you'll have us."

if the cheers for mick were loud, the cheers for y/n were louder. she was frozen, halfway to tears before she snapped out of it, lewis' hand on her shoulder as he congratulated her.

"we knew you could do it."

"thanks, lew." she beamed, giving the world champion a proper hug. "i love you guys. tahnks for letting me stay."

"don't thank us." nyck laughed. "thank toto. he's the one who made the final decision. but it was a no-brainer. you were going to stay anyways."

getting out of her chair, y/n crossed the table to throw her arms around toto wolff. the man was shocked at first, but eased into it, wrapping the younger girl in his arms.

"thank you, toto."

"welcome to the family, y/n." toto laughed. "we're lucky to have you."

and that's when she knew she found it. the family that she had always been looking for.

and she knew that she was going to be okay. for real, this time.

because true family are the friends that you make along the way.

[atlafan]

Wow that other prompt/blurb you did was so good and quick! What about a holiday blurb with softrry and friends to lovers theme during the holiday season mixed with a snow storm somehow haha

a/n: this was a cute prompt, thanks for sending it in!

Warning: fluff, smut-ish

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This can't be happening. Why right now? This is unbelievable! Of course Y/N's power went out right when she was about to pop brisket in the oven. It takes eight hours to bake because it needs to cook slowly. She's fucked, absolutely fucked. She just had to volunteer to make the main dish for her family's holiday celebration. On top of that, she volunteered to make two kugels, latkes, and bark. She's fucked.

She hates asking people for help, but when she sees her neighbor's lights are still on, she slips her boots onto her feet and heads outside. She nearly slips and falls since there's a sheet of ice underneath the snow that's coming down. Some of it blows back in her face because of the wind. By the time she gets down her own stoop and walks up her neighbor's, she just knows she's going to look like an icicle. She rings the bell a couple of times, and smiles softly when Harry's face appears in the small window the door has.

"Y/N, hi." He knuckles at his eye and yawns.

"I'm so sorry to bother you so early on a Saturday, but my power went out and I was just about to put my brisket in the oven, and now I'm fucked. And I don't feel safe driving to my mom's in this weather. I was wondering if it would be a terrible imposition if I cooked here. I can pay for any of the extra electric or gas or whatever I use."

Harry blinks at her and closes the door in her face. Rude. Harry's never rude to her. He's a very soft and sweet guy. He's a great neighbor. She wouldn't call them close friends, but they're friendly enough that they've hung out and shared a bottle of wine here and there. Just as she's about to start crying, the door opens back up and Harry's got his jacket and boots on.

"Let's go get your stuff." He smiles softly.

"Oh, thank you so much!" She throws her arms around him and gives him a squeeze. He just barely gets his arms around her waist by the time she's pulling away.

He follows her out and into her house. It takes several trips to get all of her things over to Harry's and into his kitchen. She keeps apologizing for needing to take over his kitchen, and she apologizes for the various smells of meat and oil that's about to consume his entire house. He assures her it's fine and offers to help cook.

Harry has a huge crush on Y/N. Ever since she moved in next door six months ago, she's made his heart race. She makes his palms sweat and his knees buckle and his dick hard.

Y/N has a crush on Harry too, but she's much less nervous around him. She figured if he liked her back he would have made a move at this point, so she doesn't let the crush consume her the way it consumes Harry.

"I really appreciate this, Har." She says as she gets the over preheated. How come your power isn't out? You'd think the whole neighborhood would have been affected."

"I have a generator in the basement as a backup since I work from home. I need to be able to stay online to do my job."

"I should really invest in one of those. Do you know how long this snow storm is supposed to last? The street cleaners barely cleaned up the sidewalks from the last one."

"I think it's supposed to snow all day and into the night."

"Fuck. That means the plows will barely be out."

"When do you need to bring all this food to your family?"

"Not until tomorrow night. We're doing a combined Hanukkah and Christmas thing with all our in-laws and stuff. So, I'm not the only one making a fuck ton of food, but still."

"Well, I have snow tires on my car, so I can always give you a lift if you want."

"I couldn't ask you to do that."

"You're not asking." He takes a step towards her. "I'm offering. You can pay me in potato pancakes."

"That seems like a fair compensation to me." She smiles. "I strongly recommend closing your bedroom door."

"Why?"

"Because this brisket has to bake for eight hours, which means your entire house is going to smell like meat. Not to mention, once I get the oil going for the latkes...the place will smell like meat and fried potatoes. It can be kind of a lot."

"Right, I'll go close some doors. What else do you need to make?"

"Kugel, latkes, and bark. The brisket is already dressed and ready to go into the oven."

"Can I help make anything? I'm pretty good at peeling potatoes."

"You're already doing so much. I'm ruining your weekend."

"Y/N," he places his hands on her shoulders, "you aren't ruining my weekend, I promise. I like when we get to hang out. It's not like we haven't cooked together before. It'll be like when we made those homemade pizzas."

"Okay." She sighs with relief. "Then I'd love your help peeling potatoes."

Harry goes upstairs to close the bathroom and bedroom doors, then comes down and makes sure to close his office door as well. He comes back to the kitchen and smiles at Y/N fondly. She's got her apron on and she's mixing ingredient together into a mixing bowl. He washes his hands in the sink before putting his own apron on and grabbing his peeler.

"Wanna listen to some music?" He asks her.

"That would be great. Can we listen to holiday music?"

"Alexa, play my holiday mix on Spotify." Harry tells the Echo.

"Playing Harry's Holiday Mix on Spotify." The device responds.

"That's so cute, you have your own playlist." She teases him, bumping her hip to his.

"Laugh all you want, but some holiday songs are really fucking annoying. I prefer the old classics."

"I completely agree. I hate new songs by artists who are clearly just trying to make some extra money. I think Baby, It's Cold Outside is one of my favorites."

"It's one of my favorites too."

The two work in a comfortable silence, humming and whistling along to the songs that come in through the speaker. Having help is proving to take a lot of stress away from Y/N. Thanks to Harry, she's able to make the latkes in half the time it usually takes her. They clean all of the dishes up before Y/N takes out everything she wants to use for the bark.

"Okay, I've got dark chocolate, milk chocolate, and white chocolate. Those will be the bases. I have marshmallows, graham crackers, candy canes, almonds, and mint extract."

"I'd also like to be paid in bark. I have a horrible sweet tooth."

"Done and done."

Making bark is like a dirty job. It's messy and sticky, and your hands always get covered in chocolate. Y/N explained it's easier to swirl the fixings in with her fingers.

"Do you have enough room in your freezer for all of this? We need to lay it flat."

"Yup, plenty of room." Harry opens the freezer door and helps Y/N had the bark, that's spread out on wax paper, inside.

"Ugh, my hands are a mess." She looks down at them, then takes a finger into her mouth to suck on. "God, I love chocolate."

"Yeah." Harry blushes, wishing he could suck on Y/N's fingers.

"Thank you so much for all your help. You're like my hero today."

"Oh, I was happy to help. It was fun cooking with you. Um...now that we're done and the kugels are still in the over with the meat, would you want to hang out and watch holiday movies?"

"That sounds great. I'd love to."

"Cool." He smiles.

Y/N gets cozy on Harry's sectional and snuggles up under one of his blankets as he queues up a movie. They decide on Home Alone. Harry sits by Y/N, but not too close. He doesn't want to make her uncomfortable.

"Come closer so we can share the blanket." She suggests. "You know, if you want. I mean, I'm sure you have other blankets, but-"

Harry's already moving and spreading the blanket over his legs. He puts an arm around Y/N's shoulders pulls her in closer to his side.

"Shh, the movie's starting." He smirks down at her.

The two stay cozy and giggle as they watch the movie.

"You're good at cuddling." She tells him randomly. "You're like a furnace, it's nice."

"Glad you think so." He swallows thickly. "Can I confess something to you?"

"Sure." She looks up at him.

"I've wanted to do this with you for a while..."

"What, watch Home Alone?"

"No, be this close to you, like, cuddle."

"Oh." Her cheeks flush. "Really?"

"Yeah. I...I don't want to make things weird between us because I like being your friend, but...I sort of like you more than that."

"You do?" She sits up a little more.

"It's totally fine if you don't like me as more-"

"Harry, shut up for a second." She smiles big at him. "I like you as more than a friend too."

Y/N wraps her arms around Harry's neck and tackles him down on the couch before kissing him. He kisses her back, smiling as he does so, making it a little hard to kiss. They both giggle and Y/N pulls back just a hair.

"Was that okay? I probably should have asked to kiss you first." She says.

"It was more than okay." His hands slide down to her hips. "You helped take the edge off. You make me so nervous."

"Aww." She pouts. "You're so cute." She leans in to kiss him again, giving his bottom lip a small suck. "Would you like to come with me tomorrow night? Like, come inside and enjoy the festivities?"

"I'd love to."

Y/N slots her mouth back over Harry's, and licks inside. Their tongues mold together, and they moan against one another. Y/N rolls her hips down, grinding against Harry's crotch.

"I should've known you liked me. You were so devious for wearing grey sweatpants around me."

"I didn't do anything on purpose." His hands slide down to her ass, giving her cheeks a squeeze.

"Mhm." She rolls her eyes playfully. She kisses on his neck and rubs herself against Harry again, this time getting a better feel of his erection. They move their hips in circles against one another.

"Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"This is really fun, but we shouldn't move too fast...physically."

"Did you think I was going to let you take my pants off?" She laughs. "Baby, our clothes are staying on today. But...I wouldn't be mad if you made me come in my pants."

"I wouldn't be mad if you made me come in mine either."

[hearts4youz]

The Captain's Daughter Chapter 17

A/N: I've actually had the motivation to write lately!? plus I haven't been so busy, so that's probably a factor... As always, thank you guys soooo sooo much for reading! :)

Word count: 1k

Taglist: @abbiesxox @n30n-j3lly @weird-katthing @kayoyamamegame @kroowonderemporium @astro-ghoul99

Reader pov:

In the weeks that followed, the weather was starting to look more like that of the holiday season. It was late December now, Christmas had recently passed and all of the soldiers were excited to ring in the new year. All except for Ghost, who earned himself the nickname "Grinch" during this time of year. You were becoming increasingly worried about him, he stayed in his quarters all day, only coming out for mealtimes and training. Originally, you had decided to leave him alone, thinking he would become more social again after the Christmas festivities had ended and everyone who had gone on leave had come back. But the decorations were coming down and people were returning well fed and rested, Simon was still nowhere to be seen.

"Give 'em time, he's like this every year," Soap tried to reassure you.

"But why? Do the holidays upset him," You ask.

"Somthin' like that, I guess," Soap shrugged.

"I wouldn't try talkin to him though, he gets awful nasty this time of year," he continues.

You thank Soap for the information but ignore his advice to avoid the Lieutenant. You planned to get him out of his slump. You made your way over to the barracks and found the room assigned to Simon. Your heart thumped in your chest as you gave the door a hearty knock. Footsteps thudded across the tile floor as the occupant of the room got closer to the door. You drew in a breath when the door creaked open.

Simon stood in the door frame, a tired and faraway look in his eyes as he looked down at you.

"Sergeant?" He addressed you by your title.

You took in his appearance, his shoulders drooped. His eyebrows were furrowed, which was one of his only exposed facial features. He looked like he was struggling, hurting even, despite his ever rigid appearance.

"Sir..." you kept the formalities, not wanting to upset him or make him uncomfortable while in this state. "I noticed you haven't been around much lately... I just wanted to check up on you, this time of year is hard for a lot of us."

Ghost pov:

If that was anyone else I would have slammed the door in their face.

But it was Y/N.

I stayed in the doorway, not knowing what to say to her.

She looked up at me with her lovely eyes, "May I come in?"

"Uh... yeah, sure"

Why am I letting her in

I become very aware of the state of my living space as I step aside to let her in. It's messy to say the least. I pick up some of the clothes that are strewn about on the floor and toss them into a corner.

"Sorry, haven't got around to cleaning up in here in a minute."

She looks around as the disorder of the room. "Ghost, you mean to tell me you've been locked up in here for over a week and haven't had time to clean. You hardly leave this place," she says questioningly.

"I've got a lot on my plate right now," I mumble.

Her eyes soften as she looks at me. "Simon, why don't you just tell me what's on your mind."

"It's nothing, Y/N... nothing for you to worry about." I try my best to remain dismissive and closed off from her, but the way she looks at me with that soft gaze just makes me want to pour my heart out to her.

"Simon..." her use of my real name makes me tense up. "You're my Lieutenant, Your always there to help me... in your own, strict and commanding way. You took me in as a transfer and made me stronger, a better soldier. It's my turn to return the favor, something tells me that you don't have someone you can go to for times like this, let me be that person for you."

My heart melts at her kind words.

She really wants to help me.

"I'm just... not big on the holidays you know," I hope that this explanation will suffice, but Y/N just stands there, waiting for me to say something else. I begin to feel awkward, so I fill the silence again. "Everyone's just so... happy... and disorderly... this place doesn't feel like a military base during this time of year."

"I see that, what makes you think of this as a bad thing?"

She's starting to sound like a therapist, and its getting on my nerves. I continue to answer her questions, just to make her happy so she'll stay longer.

"I just... I don't understand it. Why is everyone so happy just because of a holiday?"

She purses her lips, thinking of an answer.

"Well, I guess the festivities here remind them of home... what do you like about being home for the holidays?"

"I don't," I snort.

"Oh, Simon... I'm so sorry"

I do something that I haven't done in awhile, something charged by watching everyone's stupid traditions and being wished "Merry Christmas" by far too many people.

"If your so sorry, then why don't you leave!" I yell at her, not caring who could hear me through the thick walls. Whoever had the room next to mine was probably out partying or on duty anyway.

Her eyes fill with hurt, but I feel no regret. She inches towards the door, her sad eyes still on me.

"And who told you that you could call me Simon!? its LIEUTENANT, or GHOST." I can feel my face getting hot with rage, I must look so menacing to Y/N right now, but i'm too pissed to care.

She makes her way towards the door, her fingers grazing the handle. She looks back at me once more, her teary eyes getting red. I say nothing as she steps into the hall leaving me alone again. The room is filled with silence. I stare at the doorway where Y/N once stood. I bit my lip, part of me wished she was still here, that I allowed her to help me.

I hate the holidays, because the joy of being surrounded by a happy family is something that I'll never have.

[myblorbojunao]

Santa Baby

Summary: Except for one huge problem: the guy you hired to dress up as Santa to surprise everyone in your workplace ditched you that afternoon. Time was running out before the party, so your boyfriend volunteered to help out.

Warnings: Explicit sexual content. Boyfriend!Rindou looking like a holiday snacc in a Santa costume. So many Christmas puns. Unprotected sex in an established relationship. Sex in public place i guess. Female bodied reader.

🔓RAN 🔓RINDOU 🔓 MIKEY 🔒IZANA

Word count: 2.1k

a/n: hello this is a part of my special holiday collection with my favs, idk if i should be pleased or alarmed that this fic basically wrote itself, i had so much fun coming up with these jokes why am i like this lol. anyways I hope you enjoy!

You wish your last coworker a pleasant holiday and wave them off as they leave. You have no idea what drove you to take on the burden of planning this year's office Christmas party, but you're glad you did since everyone had a great time.

All would have gone according to plan if not for the fact that the person you had hired to dress as Santa and surprise everyone had cancelled that afternoon. Your boyfriend volunteered to take on the role at the last minute.

You were very appreciative, and Rindou, who thrives in the spotlight, was a wonderful addition to the celebration, taking photos and chatting with your co-workers in character.

You've just locked the front door and are returning to the empty conference room where you've been holding meetings, to mentally sort through the remaining tasks before you can finally go home. You pause at the entranceway and grin fondly at Rindou, who is still dressed in Santa and is doing some unasked-for chair stacking in the corner.

“Great party, Y/N,” he chirps when he sees you. “Everyone had such a great time, you might not get a lump of coal this year after all.” He winks and plops his Santa hat on your head as you walk by.

“Hahaha,” you respond dryly, shaking the hat off your head. You walk over to the dessert table and start putting cellophane on the leftovers. “You know, I never realized before tonight how much you have in common with Santa? Loud laugh, looks fantastic in red… know where all the naughty girls live.”

He loudly laughs, snaking an arm around your waist as he steals a cookie off the tray you’re covering. “Aww, you know you’re my favorite ho ho ho of all,” he kisses your cheek and you both giggle stupidly. The two of you had been entertaining yourselves with these dumb Christmas jokes all evening and you’re shocked there’s still material left to mine.

Rindou tosses a few more treats onto a plate and takes a seat on the nearby couch to chat with you. Midway through the conversation, he gets up to remove his Santa coat; you’re surprised and a little confused at how much him unbuckling the thick belt interests you. He shrugs off the coat, revealing a tight white tank top underneath and you feel a familiar desire rising in you; he turns to hang the jacket on the door and you can’t help but appreciate how the costume’s pants cling to him in all the right places.

He returns to his seat to finish eating his snack and telling his story while you distractedly clean up; you try to pay attention to what he’s saying and you’re really trying not to think filthy things about him in a Santa Claus costume but you’re failing in both regards.  

He gives a loud throat clearing, and when you turn around to look at him, he's leaning back and smiling. “You really think I don’t know your ‘I’m super turned on but refuse to admit it’ face by now?” He teases you. “I’ve seen you making eyes at me all night, baby, don’t be embarrassed you still want to jingle all the way with me dressed like this.”

You shake your head, laughing at the absurdity of the situation. “I have to say, I’ve never wanted Santa to stuff my stocking like this before but ‘tis the season of miracles,” you retort cleverly, liking the look of amusement and maybe even lust in his eyes.

Rindou pats his legs with a smile. “Come sit on Santa’s lap, baby, tell him everything you want,” he invites.

You only hesitate for a second before you think fuck it and bound over to him. You sit across his legs and wrap your arms around his neck, promptly pulling him into what you intended to be a lusty kiss but you have to pull back to comment after only a few seconds. “It’s very Santa of you to taste like cookies,” you chuckle.

He grins at you, murmuring approvingly as you trace his lips with your tongue, tasting sugar, cinnamon and chocolate. He nibbles at your lips before moving to kiss them, picking up where you left off.

Your kisses are playful and unhurried but grow unmistakably hungrier as time goes on. Rindou’s hands remain uncharacteristically polite, one sweetly running through your hair, the other lightly tracing designs on your knee.

You smile into his kiss when you realize he’s leaving it up to you to determine where this leads, seeing as you’re at your workplace; you decide to declare your interest by slowly rocking in his lap. It only takes a moment for him to respond to your actions by shifting you to straddle him, ensuring your movement results in better friction for the both of you.

You lick into his mouth as you move against him, feeling him get harder and harder through the thin fabric underneath you.

He toys with the buttons on your blouse, briefly pulling away to raise his eyebrows, silently asking if you were comfortable with his intention. Your whispered “yeah” as you pull him back to you has him groaning into your mouth.

His fingers nimbly unfasten your buttons and his mouth immediately attaches to the tops of your breasts. “Always love you in lace, darlin’,” he comments as he plays with your nipples through your bra. “A little sexy for the office but I’m not complaining.” He chuckles as he traces along the balconette cups with his tongue.

You moan, running your fingers through his hair before tugging his head back so you can focus your attention on his neck. You feel him smile against your touch as you murmur, “Planned to make a move on you after the party,” you confess, gasping at how the seam of your pants catches on his hardness just right, delivering a jolt to your clit. “Figured I’d have to wait ‘til we got home but I’m not complaining.”

Rindou giggles with delight, reaching around to grip your ass and press you down tighter on him. “Who knew you were so eager to be Santa’s little helper?” He teases, giving you a light swat. You smirk and speed up your hips just to get a reaction out of him and he very quickly stills you with a groan. “We’ve either gotta stop this or start fucking, baby, you moving like that is about to make it a White Christmas in these pants,” he chortles loudly at his own joke.

“It is remarkable that I still want to fuck you even when you say shit like that,” you roast him, standing up to remove your pants. He grins and grabs your hips where you stand, kissing over your stomach, making his way down to the wet spot at the front of your panties.

You let him lick you through your underwear for a few seconds before you sit back down, this time getting on all fours beside him, bracing yourself against the arm of the couch. “Here I am ready to let you deck my halls and you’re making jokes when you could be getting your dick out,” you rib him before tossing a flirty look over your shoulder. “Come fuck me already.”

“Well… that’s definitely naughty list behavior, my dear,” he snarks, sitting up to deliver a playful smack to each of your ass cheeks.

You hear him shuffling and you turn to see him taking his pants down just far enough to pull himself out through his boxers. You feel a rush of pride at seeing his cock so ready for you, angry and glistening; you reach for him, using the precum to stroke his length, licking your lips when you hear him softly groan your name. You can’t help yourself and bend down to flick your tongue over his slit, needing just a taste of him before you get back in position.

You feel Rindou behind you as his fingers sweep your panties to the side and drag through your wetness, reaching up to tap at your clit before moving back down to tease your entrance. As you roll your hips in his direction, he removes his hand and replaces it with the tip of his cock. After gliding through your folds a few times, he pushes in, and you let out a sigh of satisfaction.

With surprising rapidity, he thrusts into you, his grasp on your hips tightening as he picks up speed. You relax your head on the arm of the couch and close your eyes, your mind racing from the rush of pleasure and excitement.

“Yes, Rindou… been thinking about this all night,” you murmur into the furniture.

“Love that you couldn’t wait ‘til we got home, baby,” he huffs, sounding more spent than you expected. “Love knowing that you need my cock that bad.”

You push yourself back up on your hands and start moving back against him, matching him thrust for thrust. “Always want it, baby,” you confess, whimpering as his length hits just where you need. “Fuck…always want to be full of you.”

He strokes his fingers down your back and you’re glad you’re wearing such a thin blouse because you can feel the heat of his touch through the light fabric. The two of you lose yourselves in the moment, speaking only in low moans and gasps; the slick, slapping sounds of your bodies moving together blend with the hum of the conference room's fluorescent lights to create a chorus you know you won't be able to get out of your head the next time you take a meeting in there.

It's clear from the tone of his voice that he's getting closer when he growls your name; you want to reach down to your clit to climax with him. Whether you made a frustrated sound or Rindou is simply that in tune with you, the next thing you know, he has you up by your waist and leaning back against him, thrusting fiercely as he slips a hand between your thighs.

“Ready to cum for me, darlin’?” He whispers seductively, but you don't have time to respond to it as he massages your clit, overwhelming your senses with pleasure. You cry out as your body shakes in his hold and his hips stutter as he begins to follow you over the edge; he gives you one, two, three final strokes, moans at how tightly your walls hold him, and then he spills inside you.

Both of you are speechless and gasping for air, so you stand motionless for a second before twisting slightly to take his mouth in a gentle, grateful kiss. He pulls away, pecking your lips one last time before he pulls out, smirking at the whine you always give at how empty you feel without him inside you. The office couch is in danger of becoming visibly stained, so he hastily hands you a stack of napkins from the table and you two work together to wipe up the mess.

“Thanks for everything tonight, baby,” you say dreamily, buttoning your blouse back up. “Helping with the party, helping with the afterparty… it was fun.”

Rindou laughs as he tosses you your pants. “Aww, Y/N. You know I’d do anything to give you a happy holiday,” he says suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows.

You pull on your pants and shake your head. “Think we’ve hit the bottom of the barrel with this humor, Rin,” you snort. “Gotta be honest, I really appreciate you holding back on the ‘here cums Santa Claus’ jokes right now.”

He laughs heartily. “You’ve gotta give me some credit here.” He pulls you to his side and cuddles you close.

“Oh I do,” you tilt your head up and give him a flirty kiss. “In fact, when we get home I might need to spread my holiday cheer for you again.“

Rindou giggles as he walks away to grab your coats so you can head out. You give a light smack to his ass, still looking delicious in those tight red pants; he whips his head in reaction and you respond with a wink, "Well, what do ya say, Santa Baby?”

[faghubby]

Happily married

I stood in the kitchen doorway and watched from across the room as he slid his hand over my wife's ass. I had met him only once before but knew he had been fucking my wife for several months now. The scene made me excited since almost everyone we knew was there. Family, friends, Co workers. We always threw a party for Halloween it wasn't necessarily a Halloween party as much as a preamble to the holiday season. As I watched this man secretly flirt and touch Kelly, I felt a hand on the small of my back.

"Wondering if she will ever fuck you again?" Tim whispered in my ear. I froze as his hand slid down cupping my ass.

"After dinner you're going to take me somewhere and suck my cock. While all your friends and family listen" he said. His hand massage my ass.

"Look at him wondering around with your wife, think she is introducing him as her lover"Tim continued. Just as my sister walked over to me.

"There you are hiding?" Linda said.

"No not all, have you met Tim?" I said introducing him. Tim stepped out and shook her hand. Tim took Linda arm and led her away talking about the new lights he had installed for us in the dining room. The party continued and me and Kelly exchanged looks a few times but where never together. Other then when we welcomed everyone to our home. I lost track of her for awhile but we did have almost 100 people wondering around. That is until Kelly came up to me and suddenly kissed me. I tasted her lovers cum as she fed it to me.

"Such a good sissy bitch" she whispered in my ear. If I had not been wearing the special panties with a built in gaffe. The whole room would of know I had an erection. Well not the whole room. Kelly did cuckold me because I was too small to please her. But she also liked me to always wear very tight pants. To show off my sexy bubble butt.

"Do you know how many in this room know you like to suck dick?" She asked me. I didn't not really I knew a few. But knew she had told more. Just then my phone vibrated. It was Tim. When he called a pic of his cock appeared on my phone. I always worried someone would see. Text read Master bedroom now. I kissed Kelly and made my way upstairs. As I entered Tim stood there naked. He pointed to the floor and I dropped to my knees. He approached his cock swinging between his legs.

"Make it hard" he ordered I instantly started to kiss and lick his cock. For the past 2 months I had sucked his cock at least a dozen times.

Kelly had hired him to seduce me. At least that's what she always told me. That fact he was an electrician was a bonus. He grew hard in my mouth.

"I know Kelly already gave you your oral dose of cum, so this one is going in your ass" Tim told me. I was so nervous someone would hear him he wasn't trying to be quiet. He pulled me to my feet. I quickly disrobed. And stood before him in a pink thong and a corset. With stockings. He laid me on the bed. I spread my legs. As he applied lube. He then pushed his hard cock in my ass. I let out a moan as he did. He put my legs on his shoulders as he fucked me.

"You love this don't you, you are such a little faggot." Tim told me. Tim was gay sure but he had never taken anything up his ass he swore. Well besides my tounge a few times. He had sucked some cock. But preferred to fuck little sissy bitches as he put it. He was a machine sawing my ass with his thick 8 inch cock. I was trying to be quiet but the more I tried the harder and faster Tim fucked me. He finally stiffened and filled my ass with his cum.

"Why don't you put on something alittle sexier" Tim went to my closet he pulled out a clean pink lace thong with matching bra. He then handed me a pair of woman's slacks with a zipper on the side. He allowed me to keep on my dark colored shirt to hide the bright colored bra. Tim led me back to the party. Kelly saw us.

"Don't you look hot" Kelly giggled her hand ran across my ass. Tim pulled me to a corner he unzipped my pants and slid his hand into my pants rubbing my hard dick.

"Tim I am going to " I said resting my head on his shoulder. Tim stopped leaving me wanting, he pushed his fingers in my mouth so I could taste my precum. I opened my eyes to see. My neighbor. Kathy walking in the room. She was a bit startled by what she saw prehaps more embarrassed. Tim smiled at me, he loved to expose me. I wanted to chase after her, try and explain. But my pants where still unzipped and Tim still held me.

"Let her run off and tell kelly" Tim told me. I so wanted to cum. "Kelly and I think you shouldn't cum anymore" Tim told me. We had discussed this before. Kelly had wanted to lock me in chastity. Tim had convinced her he could use humiliation to a much more satisfactory effect.

"Tim please"

"Why don't you call me sir" he said. My pants had settled down a bit more.

"Sir may I cum please" I begged.

"You want me to what bend you over right here in this room and fuck you right now?" Tim asked. I didn't he knew that. He grabbed, my thong and yanked it up so my whale tail would show. Then let me fix my pants but not my panties.

"Go ask your wife if it would be okay if you spent the night with me in the guest room. " Tim said. I nodded and went to find Kelly. I found Kathy quietly talking with Kelly. Kelly motioned me over.

"Paulie is a sissy cuckold" Kelly explained. She saw a flash of pink and to emphasize this pulled on my exposed panties. Kathy seemed stunned by all this. Kathy left in a hurry dragging her husband out the front door.

"Kelly would it be alright if Tim spent the night?" I asked.

"Still haven't had enough , I know he already fucked you earlier" Kelly said as if wanting me to plead my case.

"Yes, Kelly" I said.

"You have become a total faggot, you know that?" I couldn't look at her. "Yes you can have a sleep over" Kelly told me. "You better do everything he asks of you" the party was just about broken up. Only our closest friends remained. Kelly was actually sitting on her lovers lap. Leaving no doubt about who she was with. Tim wrapped his arms around me from behind. Although everyone knew I found it very embarrassing.

"Paul, does Tim have a big cock?" Nina Kelly's best friend laughed at my discomfort. I didn't answer. But Tim took it as a sign to push me. He unzipped my pants again this time letting them fall around my ankles.

"Paul, please. Sorry he has become such a faggot he can't control himself around men" Kelly said in a fake state of shock. To alot of laughter. Although I was so horny my slight erection vanished. My bulge easily held in the tiny thong.

"Look how smooth he keeps his legs" Diane said actually reaching out and running her hand up my leg

"Don't get me started he spends more time in the bathroom trying to look pretty then I do" Kelly responded.

"Please sir" I begged wanting out of the room.

"Strip, down to just your lingerie. Then you can go upstairs and wait for me" he told me. I hesitated so Tim started to take off my shirt. Exposing the my bra I stood in just lingerie in front of our friends. Tim smacked my ass and I ran upstairs.

"What no kiss goodnight?" Kelly called out. I ran back kissed her quick before running out again. All to a great round of laughter. I fell on the bed crying. Tim entered a moment later.

"Enough of that" Tim pulled me up to my feet he stripped me naked. Then had me watch as he undressed.

"Do you still want to cum" Tim asked.

"No, sir" I wimpered.

"Good. Now see if you can get me hard again" he said. I sucked his cock hard, Tim had me get on my hands and knees. His cock slid in easy having been on there only about 90 minutes earlier. I didn't even try and be quiet as Tim fucked me in-between smacks to my ass.

"OH thank you,sir" I moaned. Just as Kelly walked in. Tim never stopped.

"OH my" Kelly said as she watched me get plowed, she had seen me suck a cock but never get fucked before.

"You where making so much noise" Kelly explained before she turned to leave with a smile. The embarrassment kept me soft thru it all. After Tim had pumped his seed deep in my bowels. He had me put on fresh bright pink lingerie. Stockings, garter, a thong , and bra, he added a pink collar to my neck. Before cuddling with me to we fell asleep.

Kelly woke me,

"Do you still like pussy?" She asked as she lowered herself to my mouth. Cum flowed out of her as I licked her clean. I was amazed how much there was.

"Yeah, your tounge has always been magic" she moaned. This woke Tim. He rolled to us. Kelly moaned louder. I couldn't see what they where doing but Tim was sitting up. Kelly shifted having me lick her asshole. Before she got up. I saw Tim kiss her breast one last time. Kelly left Tim pushed up my bra and kissed and sucked my nipples. I moaned. My penis leaking in my panties. Tim felt me throbbing and stoped rolled over and went back to sleep. I was in agony. But knew better then to masterbate.

I woke up late. And made my way down stairs. I found Mike shirtless making breakfast. Kelly and Tim where sitting at the table. I came in and sat down. Mike put a plate in front of me. With grapefruit And a protein shake. This was part of my very strick diet. He patted my head.

"Eat up" he said condescending

"Paul, did your new robe not fit" Kelly asked. She was talking about the silk robe she had bought me that said sissy on the back.

"It is a little short" I commented.

"Stand up" Tim ordered I did as told. He pulled off my sweat pants and tee shirt I had put on. "Well then you can just wear your underwear then" Tim told me. Mike walked up behind Kelly and slid his hand down the front of her shirt. Exposing her breast as he did.

"Why do you tease him so" Kelly laughed. KissingMike. After breakfast both Mike and Tim had to go. Leaving me and Kelly alone. I cleaned up.

"Tim wants you to come out fully. You know" Kelly commented.

"Stop wearing men's things, stop pretending" Kelly added. We had discussed this before she knew I wasn't truly gay, I was submissive to almost everyone. Although I was terrified when Tim exposed me. I found it exhilarating. Kelly pulled on the ring attached to my collar.i had forgotten I still wore it.

"This is new" Kelly smiled. I blushed.

"Mike gave me jewelry" Kelly bent a little showing me she wore no panties and had a jeweled plug in her ass.

"Get dressed we can get our nails done" Kelly told me

"I should get to work today" I commented.

"Your the boss, assign someone" she said flashing me her ass. I ran after her. We showered together. Washing each other. I got an erection but Kelly ignored it. Kelly picked out a dress for me to wear. She sat me down and adjusted a wig on my head and did my make up. All while she was naked.

"No panties" she said lifting my dress. She did slip breast forms in my bra . "I know what you need" she produced a matching plug, bent over and let her insert it. She drove, I can't drive wear heels. She took my hand and led me into the salon. We had done this before. But I was still nervous. We sat and had a mani/pedi. And gossip with the girls.

"Paula here has the quietest guy, I hear he has a big one too" Kelly giggled. The girls looked at me to confirm. I just turned red and loomed away.

"OH that confirms it" one of the girls laughed. Kelly lifted my dress. The girls laughed historically. After that they decided I need fake nails as long as they could make them along with bright colors and pretty designs. They drew a penis on each big toe nail.

"You know, I am never going to let you go back to being a man. you belong to men now" Kelly told me. Her hand slid under my dress at a stop light. She rubbed my soft penis.

"You don't even get hard for me anymore" she told me. "Any man I choose for you" Kelly told me. She drove me home.

[i-write-things]

Yandere Chrollo x Festive! Reader (Head Canons)

(How Yandere Chrollo would react to having a very festive S/O during the holidays)

Growing up in Meteor city, not a lot of good things happened. However, Christmas was one of the few times a year when people were a lot softer for some reason. So, although Chrollo doesn't really care too much about Christmas, he still enjoys it. It brings him a sense of comfort that not even he can deny.

Before he met you, he still enjoyed Christmas, just not as much. He would still celebrate a little with the rest of the Spiders. He would attend Uvo's Christmas parties (That ended up in a lot of members passed out drunk), and maybe, if he was especially feeling it that year, gift his friends a small present. He would usually leave the friend after to do his own thing, and he always left Uvo's party first out of anyone. So, while Christmas was like any other day of the year to him, it wasn't like any other time of the year, if that makes sense.

He wasn't all that festive, but he will admit, he did try to get into it. He would wear a Christmas themed outfit on the day of Christmas, and he would drink more hot chocolate than coffee around this time. Of course, his favorite part is sitting around a fire (whether its in a house that belongs to him, or the residents of someone he murdered), with a nice book.

So when he meets you, he wasn't surprised when you were more festive than him. A lot of people are. However, for some reason, he thinks you're starting to rub off on him a little. Post-kidnapping, he'd come over and help you decorate. Having trouble hanging up a festive Christmas decoration? No problem! He'd love to walk right up behind you, and reach up to do it for you, making sure to press his chest right up against your back.

If you want to ask him to help decorate some cookies, he'd be in heaven. You asked him for help! That must mean you're becoming more comfortable and reliant on him, right? He'd try to keep the process as clean as possible, but if you want to do that thing in every holiday movie where they're baking cookies and they make a mess out of the kitchen by throwing flour everywhere, he'd still enjoy it. He'd also think its cute how you think you could win. I mean, sure, he'd let you win, but if you get too cocky and make a remark a bit too arrogant, he won't hesitate to put you in your place (Same thing for snowball fights). He's a smart man, so his goal during this fight wouldn't be to get the most flour everywhere, because he knows it would just be a pain to clean up later. His goal would be to get the most flour on you. (Although, he doesn't mind cleaning up too much, it just means he gets to spend more time at your place)

He's also sure to get you some very nice presents. He's Santa now, because anything you even mentioned that you showed interest in having, he is sure to steal get it for you. Did you happen to look at a piece of expensive jewelry a little but longer than you normally would? It's yours, now. Even if you don't like or wear jewelry.

After the kid-napping is a different story. He hopes that the Christmas spirit thing will help you like him more, even if it's just a little. If that's not the case, prepare for teasing remarks such as "Y/N, why do you continue to push me away? What happened to your 'Christmas Spirit'?".

He also gets all the ingredients to make cookies, just like old times. Don't want to bake them? Fine. He'll do it himself. Just don't sound too surprised when you don't get to bake anything else that holiday season. If you do choose to help him, however, there are two possibilities: 1. You can just be compliant. You can help him make the cookies. I mean, there's no rule saying you have to have fun, or be happy while doing it with him. Or 2. You can purposefully screw everything up. Honestly, Chrollo was expecting this more than the former. So he's not really upset when you just so happen to drop the dough on the floor. In fact, he might even set you up to fail if you choose this route, because the longer you take to make the cookies, the more time you spend with him. It doesn't matter if you're working more with against than with him.

Oh, and how could I forget? The thing every guy, gal, and in between pal looks forward to. Setting the star on top of the Christmas tree. If all your Christmas spirit is gone, and you're not helping him decorate the tree he thought you would like, he might pretend to struggle to put it on top. "Y/N, dear, would you help me for a moment?" If you refuse, he'll probably just give up on decorating the Christmas tree. You seeing it incomplete motivates you to finish decorating the tree by yourself. Which, you have trouble reaching the tip of that stupid tree, and he, similar to how he helped you hang up the decorations on the higher parts of the wall, will help you put the star on top. He'd also do this if you were the one who decorated the tree to start with. However, if you do decided to help him put up the star, he'd be delighted! he gets to show you how strong he is, hoping to impress you with his strength when he so easily picks you up and holds you up so you can set the star on top. He might hold you for just a little longer than you like, but he doesn't really care. Of course, if you start to grow impatient, he'd set you down. You could have just asked, you know.

By far, one of his favorite things is to drive around at night with you. No particular destination in mind, just drive around and admire the pretty Christmas lights. He likes looking at your reaction more than the lights, though. You finally seem happy, even though he's right next to you. Sure, it's because you're ignoring him and you're in your own little world, watching the lights, but who cares? It proves his point that you can be happy this holiday season even with him. If he get to a nice point, he might even put his hand on your thigh if you're distracted and/or happy enough. If you push his hand off you, no problem. He'll just use his hand for something even better, like caressing your cheek and telling you how beautiful you look, and other cheesy things like how you're the only Christmas gift he wants. He thinks it romantic, you probably think its annoying. (Unless you've succumbed to Stockholm Syndrome, but what how you return the affection is up to you). If you slap his hand away one more, that's a-okay! If you don't want his hand to hold, or touch you, the steering wheel won't mind having his hand on it. He'll drive you back home early, and your escape from the place he currently has you staying in is no longer there.

Overall, he becomes a lot more festive when he's with you because he see's it as an opportunity to spend more time with you. He'd be willing to do just about any Christmas tradition you can think of, but remember, he's a master manipulator, and he's very good at twisting things to his own liking. No matter what you suggest, he'll find a way to attempt to make it romantic. If he feels like respecting your boundaries more that day, (not likely), he might just let you enjoy whatever tradition it is you like simply because you're happy despite him being around, giving him a boost of confidence and fueling his delusions that you will someday love him back. However, there's no promise that the next day, he won't force you to cuddle up with him next to a fire while reading a book. He let you indulge in your favorite thing about Christmas, so it's only fair you do the same for him. If you'd ask, he'd read to you. I mean, he'd read to you any day, but still. He at least offers it to you. If you refuse, he just continues reading to himself while still having his arm wrapped around you and lightly stroking your arm.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Would I be the Asshole for not going to my sibling's house?

I have a sibling who I don't see very often because they live halfway across the country.

The rest of our shared family is planning on visiting them for the holidays and me, my partner, and our kid are definitely going. But here's the thing: We're all sharing an airbnb so that we can host the big holiday dinner instead of doing it at Sibling's house. Why? Because, supposedly, Sibling's house is near hoarder-levels of mess.

First let me be clear: I understand that this is a side-effect of mental illness, I have some of those tendencies myself that I actively work against. I'm not judging Sibling or their partner for it. It honestly wouldn't even be a question, except that my partner and I have a toddler. We've been lucky to have avoided anything more serious than some bad diaper rash and seasonal allergies. But being in an environment like that can be a vector for illness, and Toddler's at that age where they will happily grab anything in grabbing distance and stick it in their mouth. So that's my concern.

Now let me address that "supposedly". I haven't been to their house since well before covid. It was, at that point, what I would call pretty messy, but in a way that could be explained as just exhausted new parents who haven't had the free time to tidy up in a while and the mess had gotten away from them. However, our parent and other sibling has been there a couple of times since and the last we talked about it, they told me that it's gotten a lot worse. Bordering on hoarder-worse.

On the one hand, Parent has a tendency to catastrophize. They can see something they think is wrong and exaggerate it into its worst possible explanation, turning even a legitimate issue into something much more severe or dramatic than it actually is. And they've been doing this a lot with Sibling because of how little they actually get to see and talk to them. On the other hand, when Parent was describing the state the house was in, Other Sibling, who is more than willing to call Parent out for exaggerating, backed them up about how bad it was.

On the other other hand, Sibling has since mentioned they've been doing a lot of cleaning. How much? I don't know. Is the house in a significantly better state? I have no idea.

But we're going to be there for a few days, and it's highly likely they'll invite all of us over at some point. Not only that we were all solidifying plans recently and when the possibility was mentioned that we might arrive before the person who made the airbnb reservation, Sibling mentioned that we could just go over to their house to hang out while we wait. And while I had some hope that Parent would understand and back me up and not actively put me in a position where I would have to be the one to say no, when Sibling said that, Parent agreed!

So now I'm worried about pissing everyone off/hurting their feelings during a huge, logistic-heavy family trip over a major holiday.

Would I be justified in putting my foot down and not bringing Toddler over to a potentially hoarder-messy house? Would I just be the asshole for not sucking it up for what would probably end up only being a few hours?

What are these acronyms?

[katsu28]

christmas tree miracle

pairing: JJ Maybank x reader

summary: when running horribly late on finding a christmas tree actually turns out to be one of the best decisions of your life

warnings: light swearing

a/n: taking a tiny break from writing 1k celebration things for some holiday fluff, but i'll be back on it soon!! come join kait's sweetest celebration if you'd like! <3

navigation + taglist

(gif found on pinterest)

Things were not going well. With the hectic nature of the holiday season taking over your whole life this time of year, you’d forgotten that you were in charge of securing a Christmas tree for your family.

It was now t-minus five days until Christmas, and you had yet to find a fir tree anywhere in the Outer Banks, which is how you ended up at at a smaller, more mom and pop farm called Woodards over on the south side of the island, praying for a goddamn Christmas miracle that would somehow get you the perfect tree.

But much to your dismay so far, no luck. The tiny lot was near void of trees, save for a few pathetic wilted ones over by the metal fence that definitely wouldn’t bode well if you brought any of them home.

You sighed heavily, shoulders slumping as you dragged a heavy hand down your face at the disaster you’d created for yourself. Christmas was your family’s favorite time of year, and you’d fucked everything up before the day had even come.

How were you supposed to go home and tell them that their favorite holiday tradition wasn’t happening this year, all because you’d gotten a little busier than normal?

“Hey,” A voice called from a little ways away, drawing your attention to the owner of said voice, a boy around your age, broad shoulders in a thick, worn looking grey jacket and blond curls poking out from under a red baseball cap that he tugged down tighter on his head as he peered over at you curiously. “You okay?”

You straightened up instantly, and you sniffed, trying to gain back your composure so you wouldn’t make a fool out of yourself in front of this stranger. This very cute stranger.

“Yeah, I’m okay, I’m just, erm—trying to find a Christmas tree,” You sighed, gesticulating vaguely.

“Well, this is a Christmas tree farm, so you’ve definitely come to the right place.” He replied, lips quirking up into an amused smile. “Though you’re comin’ in a little late in the game, I’d say. You can probably see that we don’t have much of…anything, really.”

“‘S on me, I totally forgot I was supposed to get it this year.”

“Busy holidays?”

“That’s putting it simply. Feels like it’s coming a lot faster than usual.” You chuckled humorlessly, dragging a tired hand down your face. The boy nodded knowingly, rocking on the balls of his feet. “Any chance you’ve magically got any good trees somewhere around here?”

“I think I might be able to help you out.” He hummed, making a dramatic show of scanning his surroundings before crooking a finger at you to follow him. You fell into step with him as he navigated his way across the farm deftly, your steps a little less sure. What did your parents always tell you about going to a secondary location with a stranger?

The boy could definitely tell you were on edge, because he snorted, an amused smile stretching his lips. “Relax, I’m not gonna do whatever you’re thinkin’. We keep some trees over behind the main tent—the not quite perfect but still pretty good ones, just for poor old saps like you.”

“Oh, he’s funny too!” You rolled your eyes playfully, which made him smile even bigger.

“I try my best. I’m JJ, by the way. Christmas tree extraordinaire.”

“Y/N. Poor old sap.” That drew a laugh from him, and you felt a little bit proud of it. “So what made you wanna work on a Christmas tree farm?”

“Want? Nothing really, but I’ve known the Woodards since I was a kid so they usually hook me up with seasonal jobs. Lawn mowing in the spring, pool cleaning in the summer, that kinda stuff.” He explained, a fond smile creeping over his face. “Plus, Mrs. Woodard makes the best snickerdoodles ‘round this time of year. I swear I could never eat anything other than those cookies for the rest of my life and die happy.”

“They seem really nice.”

“They’re good people. Some of the nicest you’ll ever meet.”

“And they’ve got good taste in employees too. Are all your coworkers this charming?”

“Oh, stop it,” JJ brushed you off unconvincingly, holding a hand over his heart. “You’re making me blush!”

“It’s true! If all Christmas tree salesmen were as good as you, we’d have an even bigger tree shortage!” You laughed. It was weird how you could feel this at ease with someone you’d met not even twenty minutes ago, but here you were, flirting up a storm with JJ. It didn’t feel uncomfortable or awkward at all, it felt…natural. Easy. Like you’d known each other for a lot longer.

“You’re just gunning for my cookies, aren’t you?” He teased, nudging your arm with a pointy elbow. You feigned surprise, shrugging innocently. “There might be some on the counter by the cash register later, you can probably snag a few if I’m feeling generous.”

“How kind of you!” Your conversation with JJ was cut short by your arrival at wherever he’d taken you, the sizable amount of pretty decent looking fir trees standing propped up against the fence proving a worthy distraction. “Oh wow, these are beautiful!”

“Feel free to look a little closer if you want, I’ll, uh, start getting some rope ready for you.” JJ set off almost instantly, leaving you studying the trees intently for the perfect one.

You’d only just found one when he reappeared, this time with a bundle of thin rope over his shoulder and some plastic netting, tossing the two on the ground next to the tree you were eyeballing once he was close enough.

“Oh, this one’s a nice one,” He noted, running a hand along the bristly branches. “You’ve got good taste.” You just grinned at him, happy that you were actually getting a tree after all. “I’ll get it tied up and ready to go then!”

JJ made quick work of packing up the giant tree, maneuvering it easily like he’d done it a thousand times before—which, judging by the lack of trees around, he probably had. Within no time, he’d looped the rope around the stump, slinging the whole thing over his shoulder and setting off towards the main tent with you in tow, without so much as breaking a sweat. It was probably one of the hottest things you’d ever seen.

“I can’t thank you enough for this, JJ, seriously,” You breathed, digging in your bag for your wallet. JJ leaned the tree against the fence next to the tent, brushing his hands off on his jeans as he made his way behind the counter.

He punched a few buttons on the ancient looking register, shrugging casually. “‘S what I’m here for. Glad I could help.”

“You’re literally the best. What do I owe you?”

“Normally, I’d hike up the price on this beaut for such a last minute score, but luckily for you, there’s a discount today,” He said proudly, grinning a wide, troublemaker smile. “I like to call it my ‘saving a pretty girl from more holiday distress’ discount.”

Your brows flew up at the boldness in his words, but you found yourself smiling. JJ the cute Christmas tree boy had game. “Oh? So how much do I owe you now?”

“Eh, sixty bucks.” JJ replied. Your brows furrowed at the low price. For a tree like this, which was actually pretty nice, you would’ve thought it would cost you an arm and a leg. “And a date.” He added hastily, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“A date.” You echoed, tilting your head thoughtfully, like you were pondering it. Truth be told, you weren’t actually thinking about turning him down at all. In fact, you had also been grappling with asking him out in the duration that you’d gotten to know him.

“Yeah. Coffee, movie, walk around town—I don’t mind. I just…I’d really like to see you again, Y/N.” JJ looked almost nervous now, lips pressing together into a sheepish grin.

“I’d really like to see you again too, JJ.” You meant it. There was just something about him that made you want to know more. You passed him the money you owed him for the tree, which he secured in the register drawer before nodding curtly.

“Here, lemme walk you to your car,” He insisted, shouldering the tree once again with minimal effort. The walk to your car was shorter than you would’ve liked, but alas, here you were. JJ stared up at the roof of your car, propping his hands on his hips with a furrowed brow. “I can get this up there in no time. Light work.” He flipped his hat backwards over his blond locks, pulling a pair of work gloves out of his jacket pocket and sliding them on.

He’d shucked his layers off until he was just in a t-shirt that gave you full view of his biceps, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t enjoying the sight of him and those biceps hefting the large tree on top of your car. And he was right, he really did get the tree secured to the top of your car in no time, and soon enough he’d opened your door for you, helping you climb in.

Shutting your door carefully, JJ leaned into your open window, braced elbows and open palm holding up his chin as he watched you throw your bag onto the passenger seat. “I’ll see you around?” He asked, cheeks flushing pink in boyish hope. “Soon, maybe?”

“How’s next Friday sound? Lunch at noon?” You offered, tilting your head at him.

JJ beamed at you happily. “Sounds perfect. Text me when you get home, yeah? Gotta make sure that tree survives the journey.”

Your cheeks warmed at the care in his words, even though he tried to disguise it with teasing. “I will.”

“Good.” He murmured, looking like he wanted to say something, but deciding against it. “I’ll see you Friday.”

“See you Friday,” You echoed, smiling warmly at him. “And thank you again, JJ. I mean it. You’ve literally just saved my Christmas.”

“Saving poor old saps is my favorite part of the holiday season.” He teased, winking at you.

“Poor old saps like me?”

“No…nothing like you. You’re way better.”

Feeling emboldened by the wistful look on his face, you leaned out, fingers angling his jaw to the side and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Bye, JJ.”

“Bye.” He sighed, pushing off from the window with his cheeks now a pleased pink. “Drive safe.” You waved at him once more before starting your car, watching him get smaller and smaller in your rearview mirror as you drove away.

Staying true to your word, you texted him the minute after you pulled into your driveway.

Y/N: miracle tree has officially made it home.

A reply came in almost immediately—a selfie of JJ, mid-munch on a cookie, squinting happily at the camera.

JJ: glad to see it. u just missed a fresh batch of snickerdoodles. sucks to suck, doesn’t it 😉

Y/N: you better bring some on friday then

JJ: of course i will. but i gotta tell u now, they come at a price

Y/N: and what would that be?

JJ: one tin of cookies for another date

You hadn’t even gone on your first date, and here he was bartering for a second. He was bold, and you liked it.

Y/N: deal <3

taglist!

@milkiane @moralina @scenesofobx @tenaciousperfectionunknown @strawberryforks @vesperluvsbillie @like-gabriel-and-castiel @fearthewalkingbitch @eichenhouseproperty @dpaccione @directioner5life @liltimmyst @lilygreennn @sunkissedsteve @mrstealuregirl @izzymaybank @bubsonnobx @laylasbunbunny @cityofidek

[sobeautifullyobsessed]

Reasons for Gratitude...

A week ago, I posted regarding my financial challenge in keeping myself in shelter this week, and at the time, I'd been faced with losing my room for several days. I also made clear that I understand that the economy has most people pretty tapped out, and I just asked for prayers and positive thoughts sent my way.

Well, not only did friends here come through for me as they have many times before, but one of them signal boosted on another platform (X), where it was also picked up by another long-absent tumblr user. And as a result, I am safe in a room through Sunday. The kindness and generosity of this community continues to be one of the greatest blessings of my lifetime!

Hope on the horizon...

Just found out that the cost of the places I've been staying is going up between 20-25% at the end of August, which is incredibly scary, but not at all surprising given how much the cost of living here in the US had been skyrocketing. However, it appears that I may have the opportunity to rent a room in a condo about an hour from my hometown, as a family member is having health issues and may have to go on disability (she's on short-term disability right now, and insists she's going to return to work, but very sadly and realistically, she's got bone-on-bone osteoarthritis and her job is the reason for it to begin with). So my rent would enable her to cover her mortgage, and my presence would provide someone to do the cleaning and whatever 'heavy lifting' needs doing around the place.

Several issues remain. We still have to discuss serious details. Relocating means finding a new job or transferring to another Walmart in the area; reestablishing myself in a position elsewhere after half my life at the same job, is extremely daunting! And of course, it means leaving the town where I've lived my whole life (except my college years). All my best memories are here and what friends I have that Covid didn't drive to other states. I keep thinking of all the places dear to me here, and I find I'll miss my church the most; a place of comfort and harmony that I shared with my long gone parents. Even though I'm not there every week, I can't yet imagine not being there through the holiday season. But as things are, it may soon be a must.

But as I said, this is a better hope for me than the life I've been living, my car packed with my most necessary possessions, moving back and forth between motels and rooms as my finances allow. The State has never once been able to give me assistance (a story I've heard over and over from other homeless folks I know from work). Hopefully, my posts soliciting financial aid will be coming to an end by September or so. However things go in the coming months, I hold my dear friends and benefactors here close as ever in my heart, in love and gratitude.

🫶🫶🫶

[masterwords]

no better place

Summary: “I knew a new puppy was a bad idea.”

or

The time Hotch broke his foot stepping over a brand new puppy and spent the entire holiday season laid up.

Words: 5.7k

Pairing: Hotch/Morgan

Warnings: injuries & surgery, mention of clooney's passing

Notes: So...Comfortember is still happening but this popped into my head and I couldn't get it out so...now it's out there. Chicago Times, old men, Jack is at college and everyone they love comes to help. This should get busy and fun. I want to dive on to SO MUCH comfort. This is Chapter 1 of...many. Probably. I'll make it a landing page later.

****

“Fractured in two places? You’ve gotta be shittin’ me!”

Derek was staring at the x-ray like it had to be a joke. They had to have mixed it up with someone else’s.

“I told you,” Hotch replied with a smug little smile in spite of the fact that it was him sitting on the exam table with his foot draped in icepacks while he waited for the shot of whatever pain killer they’d given him to kick in. Derek rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“How’s that possible? It was one step.”

“I felt a pop. I knew right away.”

“Do we need to check for like, osteoporosis or something, doc? One step…come on. How?” Derek just couldn’t believe it and Hotch was more than a little irritated at how he was reacting. Some part of Derek refused to admit that getting older meant doing less with more consequences, and try as he might to outrun the perils of aging, it couldn’t be done. Still, Hotch wasn’t sure this had as much to do with him being older as it did with just simply landing wrong with his full body weight. He was pretty sure even ten or fifteen years ago it would have ended up with the same result. As if reading Hotch’s mind, the doctor just shook his head and pointed to the two small fractures in the top of Hotch’s foot, a common injury site that had a relatively high healing rate. He’d just begun to feel somewhat comfortable, resigned to his fate of lying on the couch watching the world go by for a couple of weeks when the other shoe dropped.

“This kind of break is extremely common, even in young people. There are a lot of small fragile bones in the foot. The breaks are clean but I am concerned that there are two of them, one in the 4th metatarsal and one in the 5th. This could make organic healing a challenge at your age. I am going to suggest surgery – the procedure would take roughly two hours, it’s an outpatient procedure so you can go home as soon as you’re cleared, and it doesn’t extend the healing time by much. What it would do is strengthen that area and give you the best fighting chance at regaining your active lifestyle.”

“Surgery?” Hotch was at least two full clicks back. The drugs they’d given him were strong and he was out of it. Derek had plenty of experience asking questions and slipped right into that part of his personality that had been neatly folded up and put away since he left the BAU. Suddenly he was Agent Morgan in the interrogation room again.

“What kind of surgery? What’s the prognosis with and without it, doc?”

“Here is the information, everything you could want to know about the procedure and why I am recommending it. If I didn’t know how active the two of you are, I would probably not be pushing for it but this injury could severely impact your lifestyle if it doesn’t heal correctly. And given your age, that’s unfortunately very likely. I’ll step out and give you a moment to look over the paper and talk it over, and then I’ll come in and we’ll splint it up and send you home to rest.”

“Thanks doc.”

Derek didn’t hesitate. He glanced down at Hotch who was lying on the table with his arm thrown over his eyes, and he pulled out his phone. He wasn’t exactly sure what time it was in Thailand but it didn’t matter, he had to call Savannah. Get a second opinion.

“This had better be good,” she said instead of hello. “It is 5am and I still had two hours on my alarm clock, Derek.”

“Good morning beautiful,” he said automatically, a smile on his face. Thirteen hours, he knew now. She was thirteen hours ahead of him and he felt a little bad calling and waking her up, but not bad enough that he wished he hadn’t called. Even when she was grumpy she made him smile. “I won’t keep you long, I just...we had kind of a situation happen and I need your opinion.”

“A medical situation or a Hank situation?”

“Hank’s good, it’s Aaron I’m callin’ about. He broke his foot this morning taking a step weird. Non-contact, two fractures, and Dr. Carter wants to do surgery. What do you think?”

“Did he leave the x-rays in the room?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Send me pictures of them, give me five minutes and I’ll video call you. I want to see him and his foot too okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

She didn’t even take the full five minutes, and when Derek saw her face he breathed a sigh of relief. She smiled at him gently and even in the dark of her room, with no makeup on and her gray flecked hair pulled back in a ponytail, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

“Has Dr. Carter come back yet?”

“No, just us. They gave Aaron a shot of something that looks pretty powerful and we’ve been waiting for it to kick in. I’d say it’s kicked in, he’s practically dead to the world.”

“Alright. Well I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but I agree with Dr. Carter. The fact that it was a non-contact injury makes me a little concerned about it happening again, and putting a couple of screws in there is going to help make sure it doesn’t by helping it heal correctly. There are no guarantees, but this would be the recommendation to just about any athlete with an injury like this. What’s your hesitation?”

“Last time he was under, his heart stopped.”

“That was a traumatic situation and emergency surgery to correct internal bleeding, Derek, not a scheduled outpatient foot surgery. I know you worry but this is a low-risk situation.”

“So you’d do it?”

“I would. Can I talk to him?”

Derek brought the phone to the side of the exam table and tapped on Hotch’s arm, rousing him. He hadn’t been sleeping, exactly, just zoning out somewhere in the caverns of his mind. “Yeah?” he rasped, lifting his arm to look at Derek. What he saw instead was Derek’s phone and Savannah’s smiling face and he followed her lead with his own sleepy, slow smile. “Hey you.”

“Hey yourself,” she said. “How you feeling?”

“Tired.”

“Yeah. They gave you the elephant tranquilizers huh?”

“Guess so.”

“Good.”

“Do you want me to have the surgery?” he asked, blinking slowly. There was only one reason she’d be looking at him right now and even if he couldn’t remember Derek calling her or any of their conversation that had happened right beside him, he knew that much.

“I do. Ultimately it’s your choice, but I agree with Dr. Carter.”

“Okay.”

“That’s it?” Derek asked, staring at Hotch with a look of pure confusion. Hotch just shrugged. “No fight?”

“I trust Savannah.”

“Okay then. Guess we’re scheduling surgery.” Derek’s mind hadn’t quite caught up to where they were at, not really. How they’d gone from his complete disbelief that there could be any broken bones at all to having two of them and surgery on the horizon was beyond him. He wanted to laugh and cry over the absurdity of it.

“Let me know when the surgery is. I’ll see if I can get some time off to come help with Hank.”

“Thank you,” Hotch said, throwing his arm back over his eyes to shield them from the harsh overhead lights. His head was pounding...it didn’t exactly hurt, not through the fog of the drugs, but it was annoying and the darkness made it stop. It didn’t do much to alleviate the intense throbbing in his foot though. That, he knew, he was stuck with for the foreseeable future.

Derek said goodbye to Savannah and hung up, shoving his phone back into his pocket before leaning down and kissing Hotch’s elbow. Hotch hummed in response and Derek only sighed miserably, already beginning a mental checklist of everything he would have to do to get their house ready. Moving furniture, getting a shower chair, installing bars in the bathroom. He would have to take time off of work, talk to his mom, call Penelope and tell her their trip back to Virginia was canceled until further notice. There was so much to do he didn’t hear the doctor knock before re-entering the room. “I knew a new puppy was a bad idea.”

It had only taken a week for him to come to that conclusion. One week ago things had been good, everything was on track for a vacation and a busy holiday season until the dog.

“A puppy?” Derek asked when Desiree brought her over, ready to convince him that it was time. She only shrugged and smiled, holding the tiny little ball of fluff up to Derek’s face. A black sable German Shepherd, all dark fur laced with enchanting bits of tan and silver and red. She stared at him curiously with dark eyes and he already knew he was going to have a hard time saying no, something about her already seemed to know him and love him. It made his chest ache. Clooney had been gone for a couple of years now, he’d been in good enough shape to live longer than a dog his size should have and Derek had almost convinced himself Clooney might be able to live forever. Until he didn’t, and while the years had padded his grief some and their little family had moved on from tears to reluctant acceptance, he wasn’t sure he was ready to get another dog. To replace Clooney.

“She’s not a replacement, Derek,” Desi said, shoving the dog into his arms. “I loved that old fool too, but Jack’s gone off to college and Hank needs someone to play with. You guys could use a guard dog living in that neighborhood.”

Derek regarded the puppy with her floppy ears and huge chunky paws. “A guard dog?”

“Oh, Derek come on. She’s basically Clooney’s granddaughter or something. I don’t know how dog breeding works but her mom is related to Clooney somehow.. Just take her for a week, test it out. If she doesn’t work out I’ll find someone else or take her myself.”

“Why aren’t they training her?”

“She’s a little broken, just like you like ‘em.”

She was bred for duty as a K9 but she had a small heart defect that, while the vet assured them it wouldn’t affect her quality or duration of life, would preclude her from duty as a K9 cop. Desi’s fiance was one of the K9 officers and was trying to get her help to find families for the dogs they couldn’t use. “One week.”

The very first day, she peed inside of Derek’s favorite running shoes and chewed up the toe of Hotch’s pair. Lesson learned, no more shoes beside the door. She wasn’t terribly destructive after that, though she did do a lot of peeing on the wood floor. Hank played in the yard with her for hours, chasing her and playing fetch, and at one point while he watched and found himself softening up to the idea, Derek wasn’t sure who exactly was fetching.

“I don’t want a puppy,” Derek said as they crawled into bed that first night. Already his resolve had weakened but he wasn’t there yet. He would be sad to give her back, sure, but he would still do it. “She’s cute, I’ll give her that...but a puppy? We’re getting ready to fly to Virginia...what do we do with a puppy?”

“Let’s give her a chance. I don’t want a puppy either but Hank seems very motivated to help. Maybe we can use this as a tool, he’s old enough for a little responsibility.”

“He’s seven, he ain’t trainin’ no puppy.”

“I don’t mean that, but he can feed her and take her into the backyard when she needs to go out. He can keep her brushed. He could probably teach her a few little tricks.”

“You’ve gone soft in your old age.”

Hotch had no argument for that, he knew he had. And he supposed it was his right to do so, he’d been gruff and stern far too long. He simply smiled and nestled down beneath the blankets. It was getting cold. “I know you miss Clooney. I do too, every day. She wouldn’t replace him. No dog could ever. But it might be nice having another dog around.”

Derek tried to enjoy the puppy, but her bark grated on his nerves and the peeing in the house was about to drive him crazy. Hotch wasn’t crazy about any of that either but he was trying to maintain his status as good cop to Derek’s bad cop at least for the week.

And then Hotch fell. Well, he didn’t exactly fall, that was the part that Derek was the most bothered by. He never hit the ground, that would have made more sense. He just stepped wrong. Coming up the back porch steps after taking the as yet unnamed puppy out in the early morning, he hopped up the slick steps to the back deck like usual. The same way he took the steps every day, except this time a puppy made a mad dash and darted beneath his feet to chase a bird that landed in the yard. He pivoted on the slick wood to avoid stepping on her and landed with all of his weight on his lead foot at an unnatural angle. He knew right away his foot was broken, or maybe his ankle, that part he didn’t know. But it was broken, that he was sure of. He felt a sickening pop that released a wave of pain that coursed from his toes to his knee. It took everything in his power not to collapse right there on the spot. Instead he just let out a low groan and limped pathetically back into the house like a lame animal, waiting for the puppy to follow him inside before shutting the door and falling into a kitchen chair. Derek found him at the table with his head down ten minutes later, just breathing through the worst of it.

“What’s up?” He asked, wiping the sleep from his eyes. He looked down at the puppy sitting at Hotch’s feet and thought she had a strangely sad or guilty look about her.

“I think I broke my foot,” Hotch said from inside of his arms. The act of talking made him feel dizzy and sick, his hands were shaky. He knew he was in some kind of shock. “Could you get me some ice please? I can’t walk.”

“Can’t walk? Broke your foot? How? It’s 7am man.”

Derek went to the kitchen and rummaged through the freezer for an ice pack quickly, confused and trying to reason out what could possibly have happened in the thirty minutes since Hotch had gotten out of bed. Walking back to the table, the look of confusion plastered on his face, he watched Hotch slide his foot gingerly out of his slipper with shaking hands and he saw it right away. His ankle and the top of his foot were already swelling, the color changing from pale to a pinkish red. He couldn’t believe his eyes. “You’re gonna have to talk to me here.”

“I was coming up the stairs,” Hotch said quietly, taking the ice and setting it on his foot now propped up on the chair beside him. The pressure from the icepack hurt and he had to put his head down again to ride out another wave of intense nausea. “She got under foot. I didn’t want to step on her so I just shifted a little and landed funny.”

“So you didn’t even fall?”

“No.”

“Probably just sprained…”

“I felt it pop Derek.”

It didn’t seem possible, but Derek made the call to Hotch’s doctor’s office to see if they could get him in today to check it out. Neither of them wanted to go to the Urgent Care and sit for hours, it wasn’t exactly an emergency. The pain came and went, a little ibuprofen at least took the edge off and Derek didn’t have any problem helping him from the kitchen to the living room so he could lay down on the couch to try and rest off the shock. From there they waited. His doctor was able to fit him in for an appointment in late afternoon with an x-ray scheduled first, they just had to stay comfortable until then. Derek still couldn’t believe it.

“It can’t be broken.”

Derek couldn’t bear to watch the x-ray, watching them move Hotch’s foot into positions that caused him pain. He was in the room but he couldn’t look. Still, the longer the day wore on and Hotch’s condition didn’t seem to improve the way it might have if it was a sprain, he began to come around on the whole broken idea – they wanted to put Hotch in a wheelchair and he didn’t argue. If it was a sprain he would have been walking on it. He might be getting up there in age but he was still tough as nails – they’d both suffered their fair share of strains and sprains as a natural side effect of their active lifestyle, so for this to take Hotch down...he knew it had to be big, he just couldn’t wrap his mind around it being this bad over nothing. Over a misstep. Because that meant it could have happened to him too, it meant that they had to be more careful with their bodies, it meant they needed to get into even better shape...he didn’t know. It unsettled every bit of comfort he’d developed over the last few years.

The worst part was, he found himself blaming the puppy. When they told him Hotch couldn’t walk for two weeks and he should spend most of that time resting, meaning he would have to take on extra work around the house, meaning they would have to reschedule their trip to Virginia to visit Penelope and the rest of their friends. Meaning a whole hell of a lot of things, all because Desi convinced him a puppy might be fun.

Well she was going to hear about this, because his idea of fun didn’t involve broken bones and crutches.

“We’re not keeping her,” Derek said as he helped Hotch from the wheelchair into the waiting car. There was no comfortable way for a man of his height to sit in any car with a broken foot, but they didn’t have far to go and Hotch didn’t complain even if Derek could tell he was uncomfortable. “Two more days and Desi can find someone else to take her.”

“Derek…”

Derek didn’t answer, and didn’t look at Hotch because that might wear him down. Hotch had obviously already become attached to the little thing in spite of the predicament she’d caused him. To avoid having to look at Hotch, he swung them through their favorite place to get milkshakes and bought them a treat before driving home in silence. He didn’t want to be so cruel but this wouldn’t have happened if not for the puppy, and now he had to call Penelope and tell her they weren’t coming to visit, that they instead had to spend a week preparing for surgery and then six to eight weeks (or more) recovering from it. It was going to crush her. She’d been preparing for their visit for weeks now.

“I’ll come to you!” she said, without hesitation. “You’re going to need the help and I have plenty of vacation time saved up. I was going to take the whole week you guys were here off anyway...I’ll get a plane ticket right now. How does two weeks sound? Is that too long? Is that long enough?”

“Babygirl, you don’t have to spend your vacation taking care of us.”

“I know, silly, but I want to. Let me. Please. I miss you both so much and you’re going to need the help.”

He found it impossible to say no to her, and by the time their conversation was over he had a time to pick her up from the airport on his calendar for the next morning and a little more peace in his heart. He knew she was going to convince him to keep the puppy too, but she would help him take care of Hotch and he could use her support. As soon as he was off of the phone, he went to tell Hotch they were about to have company and found him sleeping with the puppy lying on the floor beneath the couch looking up at him as he breezed through the room. She still looked sad and guilty, like she knew what happened. He felt a little bad for her so he scooped her up into his arms and gave her a kiss on the head, called her a good girl, took her outside to pee and called Jack while he sat out there waiting for her to do her business.

“Broken?! I’m gone for two months and my dad breaks his foot?!”

“It was a freak accident. He’s okay though, I’d let you talk to him but he’s sleeping on the couch.” The puppy was sleeping on his lap now, stretched out across his thighs like she owned the place. Derek had to admit that was sweet and he wondered if she knew, in some way. If she felt responsible. She’d been a little extra clingy since they got home, staying close to Hotch for no real reason he could account for. And the minute he’d allowed it, she was up on his lap.

“Do you need me to come home?”

“Absolutely not. You’re in your first semester of college, man. You don’t have to worry about us.”

“Apparently I do!”

“No, Jack, you don’t. I got it. Plus my whole family’s here, we got Jess...who I have to call next...and Penelope’s flying out. You stay in New York, be a kid out on his own, don’t worry about your old men. We’re fine.”

“Will you have him call me when he wakes up?”

“Sure thing.”

Jessica was livid. About what, she didn’t really have words, mostly just that he was hurt and he didn’t call her. “How much time should I take off?”

“You don’t have to take any time off. Just come by when you can. Penelope’s gonna be here tomorrow and she’s staying for two weeks. My mom and sisters are gonna help.”

“I’m coming by tonight with dinner, do not cook. We’ll make a game plan then.”

“Jess…”

“Derek, he’s my brother. Let me help.”

Derek sighed. It wasn’t that he didn’t want the help, he knew they were going to need it, it was just that he was starting to feel the crushing weight of being a burden to everyone he loved. He could only imagine how it was all going to make Hotch feel once he woke up and became aware of the situation. He was glad that all Hotch knew right now was whatever dreams he was floating through and the warm weight of the puppy on his legs.

His mom and sisters showed up with bags of groceries in their arms and a truckload of pillows stuffed into giant trash bags. “What’s all this?”

“Go get the walker from my car,” Fran said, handing Derek the keys. “It’s folded in the trunk.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

There was a walker, a shower chair and a small brown bag full of gel ice packs all stuffed into the trunk of her car. He scooped it all up in his arms and made his way back into the house, hoping they were all being quiet enough not to wake Hotch.

“What’d you do, rob the old folks home?”

“This belonged to your grandma, it’s been up in my attic since her hip surgery two years ago. I knew it would come in handy. Just needs a good wash.”

Desiree was looking at the puppy on Hotch’s lap while Sarah pulled out the lysol wipes and began cleaning up the dusty old medical gear. “You’re going to need to move this furniture around, make the walkways bigger.”

“I know.”

“And put some bars on the walls in the bathroom. Probably two near the toilet and another two in the shower.”

“I know, Sarah.”

“Hey, don’t take that tone with me. I’m just trying to help.” Sarah had spent the first few years of her adult life working in retirement and assisted living facilities, she knew all of the ins and outs. He was lucky to have her experience even if he didn’t exactly want it right now. He just wanted this all to go away.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m going to do some shopping tomorrow to get everything I need.”

“You have a week. I’ll help.”

“I got it,” he said a little indignantly. He could manage the repairs on his house himself, it was the only part of this whole thing he felt like he did have any control over. The only part he knew how to handle. But the look Sarah gave him was equally as stubborn, and he knew that whatever came out of her mouth next was going to crush his chances of doing it himself.

“He needs you to be available to help him, which means you can’t be out and about at the hardware store and punching holes in the walls. I know you got that whole Mister Fix-It thing you like to do, but you have to step back this time little brother. Your husband needs you.”

Yeah, he saw that coming. She knew how to break him down. He didn’t even recognize it until the tears were burning in his eyes and she was pulling him in for a hug.

“It’s all going to be fine,” she said quietly, patting his back. “He’s going to be okay. You’re just going to have to slow down for a while. It’ll be good for both of you.”

He nodded and tried to stop himself from crying but it was no use, and that was what Hotch woke up to. The sight of his sister consoling him beside a living room full of medical equipment that hadn’t been there earlier.

“Derek?” he asked, his voice a hoarse sleepy whisper. “What’s the matter?”

Derek sniffled a little and sucked it up, puffing up his chest and flashing Hotch his best smile. “Nothing. All good. How you doing? Can I get you something?”

Hotch scrunched up his nose and considered the questions but they were too much in the soupy mess of his brain. He let his hand settle on the puppy’s chest, feeling the gentle rise and fall of her ribs and smiled.

“I think she likes me,” he whispered and Derek let out a laugh.

“I think she feels guilty.”

“For what?” Hotch asked and Derek just shook his head. Of course Hotch wouldn’t look at it like that.

“Nothing…” he said, brushing it off. “Let me get you some water.”

“Already on it!” Sarah called, rushing toward the kitchen. Hotch blinked stupidly around the room, as if realizing for the first time that it was packed with people. Fran and Desiree were moving furniture out of the way and unpacking what looked like every throw pillow they could find in Fran’s house.

“Ma, what did you do?” Derek asked as the pillows tumbled out of the bag. Fran just laughed.

“These are my extras.”

“I think you got a problem…”

“I don’t see you complaining when you come sit on my furniture.”

“What am I gonna do with a thousand Christmas throw pillows?”

“Prop your husband’s foot up, make him comfortable. He’s going to be laid up through the season so I thought it should be festive. I’ll bring over all of my good Christmas blankets in the morning but they had to go through the wash.”

“Ma…”

“Hush. Don’t you ma me, now sit down with him while we put this place together. I took care of your grandmother for six months while she healed, one of your sisters is in med school and the other has worked as a caregiver for years. I’d say we’re experts and you are simply in our way.”

“Ma.”

“Shh. Hush. We’ll make you a list of things to get done when we leave, but for now...sit.”

“I see why you’re so bossy…” Hotch whispered, sitting up enough to allow Derek room to squeeze in behind him before he leaned back against the brick wall he called a husband. Derek’s arms draped over his shoulders and circled him.

“You boys want me to turn on the TV?” Fran asked and Hotch was about to say something when Derek shook his head.

“No. Just do your thing.”

Hotch wouldn’t have minded the television on, it would have provided a distraction from the intense throbbing in his foot, but if Derek didn’t want it on he must have had a reason so he just lay there against him petting the puppy as he waited.

“Penelope’s flying in tomorrow morning,” he said, and Hotch nodded. He had already assumed that would be the case. No way they could cancel on her for this reason and have her just say okay, maybe another time. “She’s going to stay for a few weeks and help out. That cool?”

“Do I have a choice?” He asked it quietly but with a soft smile. Derek just shook his head.

“Nope.”

“Then yes, it’s cool. Anything else?”

“Jess is bringing dinner tonight. She wants to talk.”

“I figured as much. You made yourself busy while I slept. Did you call Jack?”

“Of course. He wants you to call him. Kid’s probably got a plane ticket ready to buy so you should do that soon. Tell him he’s forbidden to come home until his holiday breaks.”

“I’m sorry Derek,” Hotch said, his voice quiet and thick with emotion. Derek didn’t have to look at him to know he was crying, and part of that was the drugs they’d given him in the office but the rest...well that was just Hotch. He felt things so damn deeply.

“For what?”

“Don’t,” Hotch whispered, reaching up to swipe the tears from his cheeks. “You know why.”

“Nothing to be sorry for. Shit happens. We’re gonna be fine.” He knew Hotch wasn’t worried about himself, he was worried about how this was going to inconvenience everyone around him. All of the tasks he was responsible for around the house, taking Hank to school in the mornings, assistant coaching his basketball team, taking trips and Christmas shopping and sledding and...all of it gone. “We might never be alone again...but we’ll be fine. Come on,” Derek said, twisting around so he could look at Hotch. “Don’t cry. Come on. It’s gonna be hard but we’ve done hard things before.”

“I know.”

“Will you stop crying if I say we can keep the damn dog?”

Hotch scrunched his nose and sniffed, a little insulted that Derek was talking to him like he was a child. But it was also funny enough to make him smile. Glancing down at the dog, he patted her on the top of the head and let his hand rest there heavily. He didn’t have the strength to do much more. The drugs in his system were making time lag, making his body heavy and bone tired. They didn’t do much for the pain that drove in waves from his knee to his toes, but they did make him find it hard to care or focus there long.

“You hear that Paige? He says you can stay. I knew he’d come around.”

“Paige?” Derek asked, his voice cautiously quiet. Hotch had named the puppy. He clearly had no plans to give her back whether Derek had agreed to it or not.

Hotch hummed happily and nodded. “Satchel Paige. She loves the baseball Hank throws for her.”

“When did you decide all of this?”

“This morning. Outside. Was going to tell you, but...”

“Yeah,” Derek said, smiling down at her, finding that he’d been stroking her soft fur for the last few minutes absentmindedly. She was so warm, breathing slowly, nestled in against Hotch’s thighs. “I guess you had other things on your mind.” Satchel Paige. Paige. Something about her having a name that meant something to both of them, a link between them, the first member of their family that would come from their own union...it softened him up. And when she snorted and twitched her ear and stretcher her legs out stick straight before curling back up around her cold little nose, he knew there was no way he would have ever been able to give her back either. Hotch just knew it first.

“It isn’t her fault, you know,” Hotch whispered, running his fingers up her fuzzy little snout. He was already in love. “Look at her.

“I know. It just sucks, man. I hate seein’ you in pain.”

Hotch smiled and leaned back, closing his eyes. The world had taken on a foggy, unreal quality that made him feel dizzy. He sank into Derek and grounded himself against his solid form. “I’m alright. Just tired.”

“Then sleep. Jess will be here soon, then you can both call Jack together. I’m not allowed to move anyway...you might as well take advantage of this.”

Hotch didn’t need to be told twice, he was drifting off by the time Derek finished talking.

[mxrmaid-poet]

happy holidays everyone! here’s a fic I wrote for the season ❄️

tags: licht klein, nokto klein, angst, childhood trauma, starts from the twins’ POV, then Licht’s

16 years ago…

10/02 | Evening

It was an usual October day in Rhodolite. Normally by this time of the year, the weather would get chillier, which meant that the children of the kingdom were wrapped in warm knitted scarves by their mothers when they were out and about. The twin princes wanted that more than anything, for their mother to view them like every mother viewed their children. But nine years had passed since they were born with the children being more and more scorned upon by their mother.

Their identical crimson eyes lit up as heard the outside becoming quieter. They both peaked their heads over the window, standing on the tips of their toes. Overlooking the view of the palace, they saw small specks of dust floating in the air, clinging to the soil and window. It was snowing. It was snowing just a few days before their birthday.

Nokto and Licht shared a look of excitement, having the same idea passed between each other that maybe today their mother would take them outside for something other than a lesson or discipline. Maybe if they were lucky they’d be able to pay a visit to the palace and play with their brothers.

10/02 | Night

Licht screamed after the blade he held pierced through his mother’s chest. Within seconds she crumpled to the ground, collapsed in a pool of blood. He cried so hard, realizing that she was gone. This younger twin beside him took a few steps back, blinking fast as if he was just waking up from a nightmare.

Nokto couldn’t speak. “I-” But no matter how much he rubbed his eyes with his bruised and bloodied hands, the vision in front of him wouldn’t change. He briefly glanced at his brother who was in a worse state that he was in. The voices in Nokto’s head were louder and more aggressive than usual at that moment.

You shouldn't have been born. You’re hurting him. All you do is hurt everyone around you. “NO! STOP IT!” Nokto screamed, clapping his hands over his ears to silence the voices. He cried louder than his other half’s who was still reeling from the shock of his actions, shaking his mother’s lifeless body with a flicker of hope that maybe she’ll wake up.

The two pairs of identical eyes shifted towards the door at the same time as they heard it unlock with a small, non urgent, click. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for the maids to stay away from the wing where the boys were being tutored by their mother.

Licht took a step back as the maid’s eyes drifted around the room in pure horror. The older twin’s hand instinctively reached for Nokto’s but it wasn’t there. Licht turned to his brother, who was holding his hands to his chest fidgeting with them. He was trembling and his gaze was faraway.

He hates me now. I made a mistake. It’s over for me… it’s over for us, Licht thought to himself.

“Misfortune… both of you…” They heard the maid mutter before running out of the room.

Present Day…

10/02 | Late night

Licht couldn’t concentrate on the late night training with his soldiers. He stared at the sky, wondering if very soon, he'd see a lone snowflake fall and land on the palm of his hand, melting into the warmth of his glove. Every time he blinked, he swore he saw that snowflake fall and eventually cause a chain reaction of a few more. He rubbed his eyes to try and shake away that feeling of unrest. He was just tired, that’s all. It was an October day and snow was very unlikely.

“Your Highness.” One of his soldiers called out to him. His soldier’s voice was clear and echoed across the courtyard.

Licht blinked again. “Ah, sorry.” He wondered how long he spaced out for. “We’re finished for the night.” They cleaned up the yard and left. Licht, however, stayed there. He sat down in the grass, looking up at the night sky with his half-lidded crimson eyes.

The sky was clear with no sign of any sudden showers or snow for that matter. A sudden gust of wind howled and breezed past him, tousling his silver hair. It didn’t phase him, it was just an average October night, he told himself repeatedly, enough times to placebo himself into believing it.

“Ngh… Prince Nokto.” Licht’s gaze fell upon the rose garden nearby. He sighed. It was just another one of his brother’s play-things. He wanted to look away but he was curious about his brother. If he was so busy fooling around with a new woman, did he forget about the anniversary of what today is?

The more he stared, the more he was able to make out the figure of his twin. Nokto wrapped his arm around the woman’s waist, but his gaze was as far away as Licht’s was. He looked exhausted and almost overwhelmed. Licht knew the telltale signs of Nokto’s emotions, no matter how hidden they seemed.

When Nokto was tired, it was always given away by his body language. He stood less confident, his heels pointed inwards with his posture more stiff than usual. When the younger twin was emotionally drained, his typically high social battery decreases as well. Even after years of drifting apart, Licht could spot even the smallest hint of sadness in him.

As Licht was getting up, ready to retire for the night, Nokto met his eyes just before Licht averted it.

“...” Nokto’s eyes flashed with surprise then indifference. As much as Licht wanted to talk to him, now wasn’t the time. Licht disappeared silently, leaving behind no trace of ever being there.

As he passed by the closed windows, which lined the hallways of the palace, a small sigh of relief escaped his lips. It wasn’t snowing. Why would it?