#The gods of sin - Angels Advocate

[animanytotsllyinsany]

here are the deity designs for 1-6

[krystal-kade]

Charlie's a bad person

I know it's a bit of a bold statement, but I think Charlie's a pretty bad person

Not in the way Alastor, Angel, or Val are bad people. They are hateful and purposely harm others. She's a bad person because she enables bad people

Imagine finding out your friend is a literal sex slave who's soul is owned by his abusive boss. He knows his life's a mess, but he blames himself for everything that's happening to him. He uses sex and drugs to cope and forget everything that's going on in his life. He desperately wants to be free, but feels like he doesn't have the power to leave.

Imagine knowing your dad is your #1 enemy. He allowed the exterminations and continues to allow them because he thinks your people deserve death. He is encouraging the same things you're fighting against

Imagine your father figure (who is "supporting" your goal of redemption and good deeds) is a sadistic serial killer cannibal who owns the souls of thousands

Imagine being able to stop the suffering of millions around you, and you just ... don't.

That's Charlie. She is the daughter of a fallen angel. She's the daughter of an overlord. She's the princess of Hell. She's one of the most powerful beings in Heaven and Hell (less powerful than God, Jesus, Lucifer, and maybe the other sins?). She could free Angel Dust with the snap of her fingers. She could end their contract, kill Valentino, SOMETHING. Yet she does nothing. FOR 6 MONTHS her friend has been a tortured sex slave, and she does absolutely jack shit about it.

Her dad advocates for the slaughtering of her people, and is the entire reason she has to have her hotel, yet she's more worried about their father-daughter bonding. If he went to Sera and told her to stop the exterminations, I'm sure she'd oblige. If she didn't, just say "I'll tell all of Heaven about the exterminations if you don't stop" and she would. Exterminations could end so quick if Charlie or Lucifer used any ounce of their power.

She could fight Alastor and get him to stop killing people. Get him to stop being so evil and murderous, but she doesn't.

She has the power to fight essentially every demon in Hell and win, yet she doesn't. She's a pacifist who REFUSES to use violence or authority unless it's for her benefit (fighting Katie Killjoy, screaming at Susan, fighting Adam, etc). While using non-violent tactics are great when they work, they don't always work. You're in Hell, and saying "don't do that, it's mean :(" isn't going to work. You're not a good person for avoiding violence and not using your authority, you're a spineless jackass for never using violence or authority to help your friends or your people

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

Virgin Mary, Galadriel and Sauron x Galadriel in “Rings of Power”

Understanding the connection between Galadriel and the Virgin Mary in Tolkien lore

The “Virgin Mary = Galadriel” headcanon is around for a very long time in the Tolkien fandom. But this is not what Tolkien wrote nor intended, as he made that distinction in his letters, very clear:

I was particularly interested in your remarks about Galadriel… I think it’s true that I owe much of this character to Christian and Catholic teachings and imagination of Mary, but actually Galadriel was a penitent, in her youth, a leader in the rebellion against the Valar (the angelic guardians). At the end of the First Age she proudly refused forgiveness or permission to return. She was pardoned because of her resistance to the final and overwhelming temptation to take the [One] Ring for herself.

Tolkien, Letter 320

Why are folks missing the mark here? Most likely because they aren’t familiar with the Catholic faith, Tolkien’s faith, nor its complexities. There is no direct Virgin Mary equivalent in Tolkien legendarium. Varda, the “Queen of the Valar”, comes close but not quite; there’s a clear inspiration there, but not a “copy-paste” situation like Eru (Christian God) and Morgoth (Christian Devil).

The mere mention of the Virgin Mary as a “repentant sinner” is not only unthinkable to Catholics, but blasphemous; it goes against everything the Catholics believe, against their religious doctrine. Although, I doubt other branches of Christianity accept this, either.

The “teachings of Mary” is the Marian devotion, the devotion of Virgin Mary; the ultimate Catholic devotion, which separates this Christian branch from all the others. Protestants, Eastern or Oriental Orthodoxy, and others, don’t share this devotion.

In Catholicism (and Tolkien was a very devoted Catholic), Jesus Christ is God, and Mary, being the mother of Jesus, is considered “mother of God”. Mary is considered a “virgin” because she was saved from the Original sin of Adam and Eve. Because, to Catholics, she’s the woman who carried God in her womb, after all. When Jesus died on the cross, Mary, as a mother, suffered alongside him; and from then on, she acts as a advocate for Catholics next to God (Catholics pray to Mary for her to intervene on their behalf next to God). That’s why she’s a saint (and this is the role of all Catholic saints).

Michelangelo, “Pietà” (“Madonna della pietà”), 1498–1499 | Mary, the Lady of Pity | Masaccio, “The Madonna of Humility” (detail), c. 1424

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of death. Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.

Catholic prayer “Hail Mary”

Side note: every facet of Mary is devotional to Catholics, and that’s why you’ll find several saints connected to all stages of Mary’s life (the “Madonnas”). Even pregnant Mary is object of devotion (this was very popular in the Middle-ages, then changed after the Council of Trent, in 1545 - 1563, because the Vatican felt it could be heretical, and strip Mary of her divinity).

Indeed, Tolkien took obvious inspiration from Mary’s “Queen of Heaven” facet to create Varda, “Queen of the Stars”, and she’s also the Eldar highest devotion, as Mary is to Catholics. However, the role of “mother of God” is missing from Varda’s character, hence her not being the “stand-in character” for the Virgin Mary in the lore. And Tolkien, being a devoted Catholic would never do this.

Diego Velasquez, “The coronation of the Virgin”, 1599-1660

The “Catholic teachings of Mary” are humility, selflessness, charity and compassion; she teaches her devotees to renounce their pride and selfish ways. Because Mary had the extraordinary role of being Mother of God, and yet remained humble in her ways, and continued to serve the Lord with devotion.

And this is how she’s connected to Galadriel. Her character is not the “Virgin Mary”, but that of a devotee of the Virgin Mary. Which makes sense, because the Marian devotion is very dear to Catholic women, in particular.

Galadriel Sins

We know that Galadriel character arc in Tolkien legendarium is that of a sinner in repentance, and her actions are motivated by her wish to return to Valinor, because the Valar banished her. That’s why she becomes the “Lady of Light” and fights Sauron. But what are her sins, exactly?

Galadriel, in both the lore and in “Rings of Power”, is proud, greedy and lustful (she doesn’t wait to be married to have sex with Celeborn, which goes against the Eldar ways).

In “Rings of Power”, in particular, she’s obsessed and consumed with personal vendetta, she’s selfish, arrogant, power-hungry, and wants to be worshipped as the savior of Middle-earth by destroying Sauron, all by herself (selfishness). She’s also lustful for Sauron himself, as I talked about in these posts: here and here.

The catch is: in Tolkien legendarium, a “sin” isn’t truly a “sin” (a crime against Eru’s law) if it’s not acted upon. We’ve seen Galadriel acting on her pride, and greed, but not on her lust.

In order for her to sin, she will have to succumb to Sauron. And for this she’ll get banished from Valinor.

“A Penitent”

After having sinned, and facing the consequences for her sins (banishment from literal Heaven), Galadriel will start her penitence arc by following the example of the Virgin Mary, and her teachings, embracing the Marian devotion.

Galadriel will use the Virgin Mary as a guide for her actions, her beacon and role model of behavior, in order to repent for her past sins.

This is why Galadriel is a Elven-queen (like Mary is the “Queen of Heaven”) and has to learn the lessons of humility, charity and compassion, to let go of pride and her greed (power-hungry), and wield her power with grace and kindness.

Then there’s the “virgin” aspect, which is not at all appealing to our modern sensibilities of female sexuality, but it is what it is. Tolkien was a man of his time, and extremely religious. What does this mean? Galadriel will have to repress her sexual desires, and embrace temperance and chastity in her repentance. No more sexy times for Galadriel if she wants to be allowed to return to heaven.

[let-me-be-an-egg-toast]

cw: being the devil's advocate (HOW (UN)IRONIC LMAO) and drinking HEAVY copium in this fr

proper cw: small mentions of depression and sa

Okay I do think that making some of the Sins good is actually possible, they just need to make sense

Bee and Asmodeus being on the good side kinda (KINDA LIKE VERY TEENSY) makes sense to me - why? Because they both represent sins that are natural to our primal nature - need for nutrition and procreation (both needed for species survival) as well as modern times of lovelessness and depression

Sometimes when we feel low we try to get ourselves back on that high using many many coping mechanisms and some are NOT healthy such as ofc drugs, alcohol, and sometimes overeating and losing yourself in sexual intercourse

Maybe Bee and Asmodeus are spiritually/psychically connected to their respective sins (the hows the whys the etc) and they started picking up on why more and more people are falling into these coping mechanism (and maybe even Asmodeus seeing how sexual assault leads some victims to hypersexuality) and both began to sympathize with some of the people, leading them to slowly change their nature

hell you could even take this further and change the mythos up a bit for Helluva Boss, making it so that the Sins were all former angels who joined Lucifer to rebel against God (I mean this was canon in some variations) and maybe they were all good in the past but their stay in Hell + power just slowly corrupted them

Viv needs to make it clear HOW Bee and Asmodeus are not very "Sin-like" or else ofc people are gonna be critical of their actions and sayings

im really sleepy so this shit is VERY HALF BAKED so if y'all have better ideas I wanna see them in the comments :D

Also redrawn art of Beelzebub for now because my ass cannot handle drawing Asmodeus at the moment

[radfemsiren]

I'm a radfem, born and raised in a Muslim country. I always had my own definition of religion, a feminist one, to cope. But when I grew up and did the research, the results were clear, I couldn't deny the misogyny in Islam. I now reject it, since I know all of it is made to accommodate men, and exploit us. But I still believe in Allah's existence nevertheless. It's really hard to imagine no almighty existence. I think it's my wish for an afterworld where all injustices are punished that makes me cling to the idea. I think it makes me agnostic. How did you become an atheist?

Hello thank you for the ask! I understand this mindset, it’s hard to let go of the belief in a God when it was taught to you your entire life, and when the idea of nothingness is downright frightening. The idea of nothing being after death, of no justice for victims happening, no reconnecting with loved ones… it’s a scary thought.

To answer your question, my interest in atheism was peaked from the YouTube atheist community in the early 2010s… it definitely wasn’t a feminist community, but all of the logical arguments made by prominent atheist speakers were so much more developed and logical than even the best Muslim speakers…. Even as a teenager I’d look at the responses by Muslim clerics and realize how stupid, childish, and illogical they were.

I know atheism from the outside can seem like a scary concept, but there are a lot of freeing and comforting aspects about it. Number 1 is, as a woman, you would have never gotten justice if a male supremacist religion was true anyway.

For example, when the day of judgement comes and Mohamed is supposed to speak on each of every persons behalf in front of god, what is the one sin that he can’t advocate for forgiveness for you? Is it child rape? Is it’s having sex slaves? Is it torture or murder? No all these heinous acts can be forgiven, but not believing in Allah is the one unforgivable sin. This idea of justice was never for us women anyway, so don’t think of it as a loss.

Another comforting thing is that this Dunya is all we have, and we should enjoy it! Learn, grow, find love and happiness… no more working endlessly for an akhira that doesn’t exist. No more wasting time praying and worrying over stupid things like if you did wudu properly or made up your fasting days you missed because of your period (the game is really rigged against us isn’t it?) … you have full freedom to do as you please in this life! There are no angels on your shoulders recording your deeds, there’s just you and what you want. Do you want to be free and happy, or live in a constant state of being watched and acting without free will.

Atheists believe in being good and kind without the threat of hell lurking over us.

[nightcolorz]

I can’t believe that I haven’t seen anyone talk about how in the little weird ass “educational” performance Charlie puts on in episode 2 between Angel and Pentious the reason Angel gets upset and goes to his room is ofc, partly cus Charlie is disregarding him in favor of pentious and inadvertently communicating to him that she doesn’t think he’s capable of ever getting better, but also bcus she is actively shaming and insulting him?? 😭😭 like she has angel preform as who she literally refers to as “the crackhead” who tries to corrupt a child’s innocence, then said child declares that drugs are bad and “having sex before marriage” is sinful—-

like I’ve always considered Charlie’s main flaw that she wants to help traumatized people heal and become better but she is too privileged and generally ignorant to meaningfully understand the life experiences and struggles of the ppl she is trying to help enough to make effective change 😭 She has a savior complex but she’s just so well meaning u can’t help but root for her. Its like if the only person in the entire world who had the motive drive and goal to help improve life conditions for the disempowered was literal royalty with no social political or mental health experience that thinks the key to curing trauma is kindergarten coloring exercises and trust falls 😭. She is so naive but u want to root for her cuz who else is going to do anything, right?

like Charlie is so ignorant 💔 could u imagine working at what u claim to be a rehab of sorts, and ur idea of an exercise meant to help ppl improve is having ur gay, crossdressing, (demographic historically demonized as child groomers) drug addicted sex worker patient play pretend as ur childish portrayal of what u think a drug addict is, a scary man in a long coat who tries to take away a child’s virtue with Catholic ass temptations of drugs and sex 😭😭 like Charlie love u girl but OH MY GOD 😭 no wonder angel ran off.

Not only was it being affirmed to angel that the only people in hell he has ever met who believe and advocate for redemption and self betterment when it seems like there is no hope consider him to be a too far gone-lost cause who is not worth focusing any sort of minimal attention or effort on saving, BUT ALSO he is being told by Charlie (tho unintentionally) that she sees him as a demonic pervert who is in hell for being an evil crack head who had impure homo sex that goes against gods ordained laws of marriage 😭👍 god I love this show, such a hot mess

[bluestar22x]

The Fallen Warrior: Prologue

Pairing: Jaoel (Joel Miller) x OFC!Eva (Prologue)

Other Characters: Sarah, Thomas (Tommy Miller)

Summary: His memories of them are like clips from a highlight reel

Rating: 18+ Series

Word Count: 6,700(ish)

Warnings: AU, butchered biblical lore for the sake of the plot, fowl language, violence, blood, smut (unprotected p in v), mild description of birth, death, grief, brief mention of rape and manipulative relationships by evil angels, mentions of suicidal thoughts, an almost attempt at suicide

Author’s Note: Thanks to @almostfoxglove for making the lovely moodboard for me!

xxx

The story of Adam and Eve is unarguably one of the most recognized stories from the Bible, if not the most. It tells of the first man and woman, and how they loss their immortality in exchange for tasting the forbidden fruit, lured by the snake that was Lucifer into yearning for its knowledge.

But Joel knew the truth behind the tale. The fruit was not a fruit at all, and the snake was not Lucifer, or even one of his minions.

No, the snake was love, and the fruit was pleasure.

x

Centuries later, he still dreams of them.

The memories containing them clipped like a highlight reel that he helplessly observes as he slumbers most nights.

It freshens the festering wounds on his soul; renews the agony he would do anything to numb permanently.

Almost anything.

He never would wish to forget the beginning. He only longed to erase the pain at the end.

x

Have you heard of Lucifer and how he and his aligned angels rebelled against God? How God banished them from Heaven for it and created Hell to be their prison?

Like any prison, Hell was not inescapable. Lucifer was able to influence humans from below, and his fellow fallen angels managed to slip through the exits, the gates of Hell, every once in a while. They influenced the humans, turned them from the light, from God, and the most sinful of the humans were punished too.

Their souls were sent to Hell, and with time, they became demons, Lucifer's minions. These demons were easier to summon to Earth, and became the biggest threat to humanity by sheer numbers.

God's angels were sent to Earth regularly to combat them. He also had a son who sacrificed himself in the hopes of saving as many souls as possible. The fight was still fairly matched.

Usually light and darkness balanced out, but every once in a while, usually when the fallen walked the Earth, darkness threatened all.

One of these times lasted decades. And in those decades the fallen fell into temptation, as were their natures. They saw the beauty of human women and sought them out, taking pleasure in them, tasting them, whether or not they were willing. Whether or not there was deception involved.

Inevitably, offspring resulted from these unions. Nephilim. Giants in the Bible, but deceptively human in truth. Dangerous all the same. They were overpowered and seen as a threat to humanity, so they were exterminated from the Earth.

A flood of blood was left in the wake of the war against them. Not since Lucifer's rebellion had the light been in such turmoil, for no matter how monstrous the nephilim were at times, they were still the children of their brethren.

Archangel Jaoel had been one of the many who struggled with the morality of the slaughter, advocating for imprisonment instead. But Archangel Michael, the leader of all angels in Heaven, God's right hand, held a zero tolerance. As far as he was concerned, nephilim were too big of a risk to let live. Better they die and let God and Lucifer decide where their souls ended up.

So all of Heaven's angels fell in line with his orders, even Jaoel.

Eventually the blood stains faded from his ethereal hands.

It didn't matter. He still remembered their faces.

x

There were many centuries of peace before the next battle between good and evil commenced. Demons were rising again in massive numbers, and many angels were sent to Earth to protect humans of interest. Humans that were important or going to be important someday.

Jaoel was amongst the angels sent down to play guardian angel, to his dismay. He was an archangel. He'd played messenger before, but never babysitter. He was a warrior. He wanted to fight, not stand around and observe a human for days on end in case a demon sought to extinguish their life.

He couldn't even comprehend how the human he was assigned could be important. Eva was a sheep farmer, living in the forest in seclusion, unusual for a woman of her time, but she had no qualities of a leader.

She was quiet, naturally so since she hardly ever interacted with other humans except to trade. She was soft, too emotional for her time. She mourned the animals she hunted; she sobbed for the lambs that never got to take their first breaths. She lived in her own little bubble, content with not knowing the outside world.

What demon would bother an attempt to corrupt her or take her life? They had no reason to harm a shepherd; no way to draw her towards the dark. Jaoel wasn't sure he'd ever seen a human so pure. Her eternal light an endearing companion to her God-given beauty. Her dark curls and rich bronze skin.

Her allure was sly, slinking slowly into the recesses of Jaeol's mind, igniting something deep within him that had never been awakened before. He felt it every time Eva talked kindly to her woolly wards. Every time she smiled. Every time she laughed or sang, her syrupy voice lulling him into temptation.

He was compelled to know her. For her to know him. He introduced himself to her as a human vagabond in need of work, using her kind heart against her, forcing proximity. She hired him and he began to help her mend fences and care for her sheep under the ruse. He had a lot to learn, but Eva was a patient teacher.

It was too late by the time he realized he'd gone too far; gotten too close, fallen into the trap many angels had before him. He'd convinced himself they could be friends, all the while the passions of human copulation dangerously plagued his daydreams. He knew enough of it, the science behind the physical act, to have a picture of it in mind, to understand it, though not the emotions and sensations linked to it.

He wished to experience it all with her, rational thought slowly losing its battle.

A battle that swiftly came to its pathetic end on a late summer morning almost a year to the day after he initiated their first interaction, six from the day he was assigned as her protector.

That day a demon made an attempt on her life and she'd witnessed his wrath in full glory as he easily plunged his angelic blade in its chest, smoky gray wings exposed for her to eyeball in great detail before he hid them away belatedly.

She was not afraid as he feared she would be, only grateful that a divine being was there to save her.

"Will you be leaving, now that the threat has been extinguished?" she inquired, her expression trained with the intention of hiding her warring emotions.

"I do not know," he answered honestly, allowing himself to brush his smooth fingertips along the contours of one of her cheeks, to touch her for the first time.

He drew in a sharp breath. Her skin was softer than he'd ever imagined.

Her warm brown eyes fluttered shut to his quiet affection finally expressed. She shared it with him.

"So what now?"

What now indeed. Was the demon her only threat or was there more to come? How soon would he be called back home if she was safe?

How much longer did they have?

Jaoel didn't want to wait to find out.

He pulled Eva to him, an iron grip on her upper arms, crushing his lips to hers with a ferocity that combated his inexperience. She melted in his hold, absorbing all of his need, accepting it, expressing her own in the form of a sweet moan that reverberated in his sensitive ears and etched itself permanently into his cerebrum.

He kissed her over and over again, unable to get enough of her divine taste. Years of longing, and she was finally his.

As he was hers.

Without spoken word they both expressed their yearning for more through those desperate kisses and touches to every part of each other they could easily reach without parting.

Eva slowly stepped backwards, leading him like a mythical siren into her home, a cottage perfect for two.

In the dim light of the stony dwelling they began to peel off their clothing, peppering kisses to each other's newly exposed skin as they did so.

"Have you ever done this before?" she asked between heaving breaths, her tone lacking judgement.

"Never," he replied, a drawn out groan accompanying his words as her right hand skimmed tantalizingly close to the waistline of his underwear, too close to the hardening bulge in his pants.

He could feel a heat blooming over his cheekbones. He had often prided himself with knowledge. To be as unsure as he was in their situation was humbling.

Eva smiled widely and placed a hand along his bearded jaw. "I will show you then."

He watched intensely as she removed his last garment then reached out for his right hand and guided it down her body, over the tops of her bared breasts and her soft stomach, not hesitating when his hand found the nest of dark hair between her hips, and only stopping when his fingers glided into her folds with her direction.

She was so warm and wet, more inviting than he could've hoped.

She gasped at the touch she'd instigated, swinging her head back, and Jaoel felt his stomach swoop at the sight of the sinful strain of her neck. He tugged her closer and sucked a bruise onto the skin over her vein there, and she hummed happily, basking in his affection.

"That's it," Eva murmured breathlessly. "Let what you see and feel guide you. I want it all, Jaoel. Everything you want. Everything you'll give."

With some men it would have been a dangerous promise, seen as permission to reveal their darkest desires, ones that shined a light on their cruelty, but she knew she could trust him. That he would take care of her. She'd known him well before she knew what he was, and what he was didn't matter. Only who he was. Her Jaoel. The man who tended to her sheep as attentively as she did. Who ate her every word. Who had never judged her for thinking out loud.

He hissed at her vow and rested his forehead against hers. "I want you all around me. I want to know exactly how it feels. But first I want to see how it feels."

He cupped her firmly where she'd left his hand and she got the message, silently showing him where her sensitive nub was and how to use his fingers to elicit a response from her.

He was mesmerized by what resulted - her quickening breaths, the unrestrained moans that tumbled out of her mouth, the pounding of her heart that sounded like thunder to his supernatural ears. Sweat glistened on her skin as she rocked herself into his touch, trying to get herself there faster, a desperate look on her face.

He found her hole with his index finger, without her help, and hooked it inside her, and that was what did her in. Her breath caught and she mewed into his face, slumping in his muscular arms as she did so.

"Faex!" she panted. "Are you sure you haven't done that before?"

Jaoel hardly heard her question, too caught up in the instant replay rolling in his mind. He'd always thought Eva was beautiful, but she was even more so when she came. And those sounds that she'd made, the way she'd leaned on him after, he'd almost been unable to control himself. He was aching so badly for her that it was all he could think about.

He messily covered her mouth with his and easily scooped her up off the ground, taking full advantage of his superior strength. She threw her arms around his neck and held on tightly as he pushed her up against the wall of the cottage's main room, ignoring the hardness of the stone pressed into her spine to focus on his, grinding her heat against his ready cock after securing her legs around his hips.

They worked together to ease her down onto him as he slowly pushed up inside her, not stopping until he was covered to the hilt.

The sensation of being confined by her warm, slick walls overwhelmed him. A feverish instinct he didn't know he had took over, urging him to drive into her repeatedly, seeking friction as she raked her delicate fingers through his thick wavy hair, encouraging him. "That's it. That's it. Jaoel!"

He'd set a pace not too fast or slow, but it didn't matter. There was no way for him to hold off long enough for her to come again, not with how good everything felt, even as it bordered pain. Not with how she writhed against him and whimpered.

"Can't take it anymore," he grunted out.

"Don't then," she gasped.

Several more deep snaps of his hips into her and his body stiffened as he filled her up with his seed. He shut his eyes as it happened, fully embracing the ecstasy and relief that paired perfectly with his release.

When he opened them again his eyes met hers, and they beamed at each other. His heart wanted to burst at the unabated joy in her expression. He knew he loved her then.

He set her down gently on her feet again and kissed her more sweetly than before, dipping two fingers into her heat as he did so and thrusting them in and out in the same manner as he had with his cock. Eva submitted, clinging to him as he wound her up again.

He didn't stop until she was crying out his name.

x

He'd been out with a bow and arrow hunting unsuccessfully for deer all morning the day his life unfathomably changed.

Jaoel arrived back home empty handed but not displeased. He and Eva still had plenty to eat from his last hunt and the garden, so some time alone to sort his thoughts on the back of a horse was reward enough.

His peace did not last for long when he discovered the cottage vacant of all life. Fear struck his soul as his mind drew the worst conclusion. That Eva had been discovered by his brethren and ripped away from him less than a full year after they first indulged in the passion that came with romantic love.

But then he remembered the spring nearby that ran tepid warm, the pool she loved to bathe in, and recalled her wishes to be in it.

But if she's there - Jaoel thought, freezing at the implication of her going there alone.

He dropped his bow at the door and raced for the cave where the warm body of water was contained. It was a little ways into it, but not so much so that darkness impended his sight - or anyone's for that matter. The sunlight still shone through.

He sucked in a deep breath of simultaneous relief and trepidation as he made out her naked form in the pool, arms bent over the edge with her forehead pressed to the backs of her splayed hands.

"Eva," he called out hesitantly.

She lifted her head to peer over at him and her shoulders relaxed at the same time as a corner of her mouth curled up. "Knew you'd remember. I wanted to wait for you, but it got to be too much. I wanted to make sure I could still walk here."

He kicked off his boots and sat beside her on the edge, letting his legs drop into the pleasantly warm liquid she was sitting in. "When did you start feeling the pains?"

"Almost immediately after you left," she informed him. "But not soon enough to flag you down."

"The whole morning?"

She nodded and he pulled his lips into a thin line, a subtle grimace. "I'm sorry, mulsa. If I had known I'd have never gone out."

"You couldn't have known," she said with a hitched breath. She tensed up and dug her nails into the gravel surrounding the natural pool. "You're here now."

Jaoel turned to place a hand on her shoulder in support as she rode out what people in later times would call a contraction.

"I should've alerted the midwife days ago when the baby dropped," he stated aloud.

"That was not my wish," she hissed.

It had been his.

When Eva had conceived his child in mid autumn the previous year, only a couple months after they began their passionate relationship, Jaoel had feared her being struck down by Heaven's army, but then she'd come up with the ridiculous idea of doing this on her own, no medical back up if something were to go wrong, as they did fairly often in her time, and then he'd feared that more.

She didn't like the local midwife though, and he had to admit he understood why. She was not very sympathetic and wasn't afraid to lecture her patients when they didn't perfectly follow the rules she had set in place, including a zero tolerance for manual labor outside the home. That included herding sheep.

The stern elderly woman would probably have an aneurysm if she knew Eva had forgone a bed for a pool of water. Water births were not typical, but a town friend had told her about the practice once when she was halfway through her pregnancy and Eva hadn't given up the dream since.

She'd been so determined to give birth in the spring that when Jaoel had brought up his concerns she'd pushed back. "Let me do it alone then!" she had shouted.

And he had gently turned her head to look him back in the eyes. "Not so long as I breathe."

The idea of being there through the entire birth was daunting, but he would not leave her without someone to comfort her and help usher their child into the world.

A child he'd once dreaded, but now nervously awaited.

It was not like he hadn't understood how he'd gotten Eva pregnant. He'd known fully well what repeated unprotected copulation with her would likely lead to, but she'd made him feel invincible for a time, and she'd wanted a family long before he entered her life. The combination of his recklessness and her care free attitude about it had made her pregnancy only a matter of time.

At the beginning he couldn't share the happiness she felt because he'd seen first hand the cards that were dealt to nephilim. He'd dealt some of the cards himself, to mostly mature ones who had actually deserved it, but still. It would be hypocritical to think his child would be above eradication; that his fellow angels would leave them alone just because he was the father.

Eva would not let him stay detached. She convinced him to voice his concerns and to forgive himself for obeying his orders. She'd convinced him that they were safe at the farm for now, and when they weren't they'd move on. That it was going to be okay.

Then she'd pressed his hand to her swollen belly as the baby kicked and he'd lost all reason once more.

He thought of that tiny foot nudging against his palm through firm skin as Eva's contractions increased in strength and closed in on each other.

She clutched at him through it all, like he was a log floating down river rapids. Her salvation.

He held onto her comfortingly, drawing small circles on her back until she pulled herself away from him, towards a rock shelf on the north side of the pool, a shallow spot.

"Baby’s coming," she panted out, sitting up against the side of the pool and already bearing down with her whole body, her eyes squeezed shut.

All the lambings in the world couldn't have prepared him for this.

He followed her, kneeling in the water before her and nodding. "I have you both."

He did his best to stay stoic and encourage her as she worked to move the baby out of her, listening to her body, pushing with the contractions. He felt utterly helpless and impressed by her strength all at once as he waited with his arms open, at the ready.

He wasn't sure exactly how long it took, but one moment his arms were empty and the next he was holding an infant in them - their daughter.

He raised her up out of the water and studied her little face in wonder as she starred back up at him intensely. He could already tell she was going to look so much like her mother, but those dark brown eyes, those were all him.

The observation made his breath catch and he found himself transfixed, locked in that moment with her. Just looking.

Then she scrunched up her face and began to wail.

Jaoel thought he'd seen everything beautiful to see in the universe, but witnessing his daughter's first breath, first cry - a life beginning, one created out of the love he and Eva shared - he'd never seen anything more beautiful outside of his father's throne room.

“It’s alright, babygirl, you’re fine,” he soothed automatically. “Wanna meet your mama?”

He glanced over to Eva and her face lit up. She gestured for him to hand over their daughter almost desperately and he did so carefully so not to drop her back into the water.

A look of awe passed over Eva’s tired face and she started sobbing, her head pressed gently against her daughter’s.

“Are you alright my love?” Jaoel asked, concerned, touching the elbow of her right arm.

She nodded vigorously. “Yes, it’s just…she’s perfect, Jaoel. And she’s ours.”

The disbelief in her shaky voice made him smile. “Yes, she is. And she's just as perfect as her mother.”

Jaoel had never felt such overwhelming joy as he did then, not since standing in front of God himself, and even then it was a different kind of thrill.

He figures years later that he should have known better than to settle into it.

Everything is fleeting.

x

Jaoel.

One word, his name, and his world greyed.

He'd heard it said behind him, but he didn't want to turn around. He wanted to keep looking forward, watching his five year old daughter innocently play in a field of dandelions, not a care in the world.

He knew that voice. It might as well have been an axe.

"Jaoel, what have you done?" the voice hissed, outrage barely contained.

He swung around then, meeting eyes with a woman nearly his height and in a dark green tunic and sandals. Her hair was a stark pale blonde and her eyes were ghostly blue. Icy, just like her attitude.

"Jophiel," Jaoel said. "What are you doing here?"

"Gathering everyone," Jophiel replied. "The fight is over for now. The demons are controlled. The humans are safe. Or so we thought."

She jerked her head in his daughter's direction.

"She's not dangerous," Jaoel told her firmly. "She's just a child."

"Of course she's dangerous!" Jophiel screeched. "I can feel her power radiating out from here. She is an abomination!"

"She is mine!" Jaoel growled, taking a step forward, chest out. Furious and terrified but refusing to show the latter. "She is no abomination. You've shed enough blood. Leave us be."

"You know they won't do that," said another quieter, subdued voice.

Under other circumstances Jaoel would've been elated to hear it, but it that moment it pained him.

"Thomas," Jaoel whispered.

He craned his neck to see him to his right, dressed in a tunic as well, his cream. He looked younger than Jaoel by six years, around twenty-six years old based on human aging, but it was an allusion. Heaven's angels didn't age. Only the fallen, and even they aged very slowly.

Thomas was as close to a brother of blood as angels could get. Jaoel had been in charge of training him right after the lower angel had been created. They'd spent hundreds of years fighting the dark side by side. They'd cared about and trusted each other more than all their other fellow angels.

Jaoel had no idea where Thomas would fall in this argument. Thomas was as loyal to Heaven as he'd been and even if he did side with him, it meant he'd be banished from Heaven too. Most likely killed, if not thrown into Hell with the rest of the fallen who would eat him alive for not having sided with them, with Lucifer, when they rebelled.

For his daughter's sake he wanted Thomas on his side, but for his brother's sake he wished he'd never shown up.

Thomas looked torn. He had never agreed with the zero tolerance rule for the nephilim either. He'd slain one, a teenage boy, under Jophiel's direct orders once and had been haunted by it for decades. The boy had shown signs of delinquency but nothing atypical of a human his age. He'd begged for his life. Jophiel had promised a tortured death if Thomas didn't do it himself. She'd cornered him.

She'd never tried it with Jaoel before because they were both archangels, but in that dandelion field she changed that. There was a reason Jophiel had brought Thomas with her. Most likely she'd had her suspicions after Jaoel stopped checking in with his siblings, giving updates.

(In hindsight, it had been a poor decision, but he'd been afraid a fellow angel would see through his lies, the stories he made up to cover that he was no longer just guarding Eva.)

Jaoel could see what Jophiel was trying to do from a mile away.

"You belong with us, Jaoel," she stated stiffly. "I am not completely heartless. Let us dispose of her. Thomas will do it, quick and painless, and then you can come home. I will forgive your transgressions, convince Michael to give you a pass."

She only didn't want to face one of Heaven's most powerful warriors, fallen or not. A lesser angel would've never gotten any ounce of mercy.

"Over my dead body," Jaoel spat out, pulling his blade from one of his coat pockets.

"This won't end well for anyone if we fight him like this," Thomas told Jophiel. "You're a better leader, but Jaoel's a better fighter and he knows all my tricks."

Jophiel huffed, clearly not pleased that he'd pointed it out but smart enough to know not to be bull headed about it. "You're right. We need back up. Come along."

She spread her stunning golden brown wings that spanned ten feet and flew away without further do.

Thomas lingered, unable to look Jaoel straight in the eye.

He sighed. "Of all of our siblings, I'd have put you on the list of least likely to be tempted by a human woman. You've put me in an awkward position, big brother."

"I'm sorry," Jaoel said honestly. "It just happened. I cannot describe how I got here. Why she's here. But look at her, Thomas. Please."

Thomas glanced up, obeying, and Jaoel shifted to see what he was seeing.

His daughter, standing still in the middle of the field with a beautiful blue butterfly clinging to her tiny index finger, her chocolate eyes bright and curious.

When he turned back to Thomas he saw a softness in them. "She is beautiful," his brother admitted. "If it were up to me she would live. You wouldn't be forced away from this place. But alas, it is not my decision. If I argued, I'd be cast out too."

The last two sentences sounded bitter, an aged rage in the words, and Jaoel knew he was thinking of the boy.

Jaoel shook his head. "I'm not asking you to rebel. I'm asking you to disappear, busy yourself. Find a wayward demon on your way to gather others for our execution. Stay out of this."

Thomas gave him a small, bittersweet smile. "Always looking out for me." His expression turned solemn. "Even when I fail you."

Jaoel's stomach dropped and he realized then that Jophiel had never mentioned killing Eva, even though the mothers of the nephilim were always executed as well.

"No..."

"Jophiel has been observing you all morning," Thomas told him. "She waited until you left and struck herself. She found me after, said there was one last evil for me to dispatch. A nephilim. She never said it was your daughter. But she did say she already killed the mother."

Jaoel backed a few steps from him. "No...no...you're lying. Jophiel's put you up to it."

"I wish it was one of her elaborate plans, that I was lying. But I'm not."

"NO!" Jaoel snarled, charging forward to grab a fist full of the fabric just under his neck. "She can't be dead!"

"Take your daughter and run, now." Thomas said, more pleading than commanding. "I'll bury her."

"No! You're lying! I'm not leaving her behind."

It couldn't be true. She was his one. His soulmate, as the humans would say. Denial was all he had to keep himself from falling apart.

Thomas sought his eyes out. "Look me in the eyes, brother, you know I'm a bad liar."

Jaoel didn't want to, but he did, and he regretted it. There was no lie in his eyes. Only painful truth.

Thomas saw the change in his expression. The anguish. "I'm so sorry." He went to cup his face but Jaoel fell to his knees.

Thomas was already gathering him up and helping him back to his feet as soon as he hit the ground. "Go. Save your daughter while you still can. She won't take long."

He might have as well shoved a blade through his heart, it would've hurt less. But Jaoel knew Thomas was right. He had to leave with his daughter now. He couldn't go back to bury Eva. He couldn't go home to say goodbye.

Tears blinded him. "Bury her by the oak tree next to the barn. She loved lying in the shade there on sunny days."

Thomas gave him a curt nod. "It is done."

Jaoel started for his daughter on trembling legs.

"Jaoel," Thomas called out after he got a few feet.

He glanced back at him. "Her name was Eva."

"And your daughter's?" Thomas inquired.

"Sarah," Jaoel answered. "It was her grandmother's name."

He didn't waste anymore time after that, racing towards Sarah without checking if Thomas was leaving. He could take care of himself. Sarah could not.

"Daddy, what's wrong?" she asked, frowning at the way he'd rushed to her and at the pain in his expression.

"Daddy can't explain now," he told her, trying not to choke up. "Dangerous people are coming here. We have to go."

Her eyes rounded with fear. "What about Mommy?"

"I sent someone to get her," Jaoel replied. It was vague enough not to be a lie.

He would tell her the full truth later, after they put distance between them and Jophiel.

"We're going to fly to escape them," he said, trying to mask his grief as much as he could. "Come quick."

Sarah lit up. She had always loved flying. Flying made everything better.

She jumped into Jaoel's waiting arms and wrapped her arms around his neck as he unfurled his wings. She stared at them in awe as she always did, then Jaoel launched off the ground.

He flew her far away, not sure where to go, only knowing that no matter where they went, they'd never be safe for long.

x

The morning light shining through the open bedroom window of the abandoned cottage Jaoel had set up as a safehouse just before her birth bathed Sarah in gold as she slumbered, a sight that soothed Jaoel's ravaged, aching heart.

Finding out Eva was dead had been painful, telling Sarah the news had destroyed him.

She'd fallen asleep from utter exhaustion after all the tears she'd shed, but despite how weary Jaoel was, he'd been unable to catch any sleep himself.

He was too worried about his siblings finding them. Was too caught up in how open ended everything felt. He'd never be able to tell Eva goodbye. Would never have any idea what her final moments were like. He could only hope Jophiel had been merciful about it; something that had never been her strong suit.

He'd spent most of the night pacing or leaning on the door frame to the bedroom, watching his daughter, the rise and fall of her chest and the sound of her heart beating the only things keeping his despair at bay.

Then a striking blue butterfly, of the same species as the one that had been on Sarah's finger in the field flew into the room on a wind and landed softly on her forehead.

Something about its choice of a resting spot made Jaoel recall how sometimes butterflies were used as messengers by those who have passed on, and his breath hitched as he realized that Eva had died before the butterfly had settled onto their daughter's finger. That blue had been her favorite color.

"Eva?" he whispered. It couldn't be, could it? Was the butterfly a message to him?

It immediately flew off, back to the forest beyond the cottage, and Jaoel knew that was the answer to his question.

It gave him some solace.

She was still around, even if he, a fallen, couldn't see her.

x

It was almost mid morning and Sarah was still sound asleep when the door to the cottage quietly creaked open. A human would've missed it, but Jaoel didn't.

He dug out his blade from his coat and crept towards the main living space, every muscle in his body tensed in preparation for a fight.

He'd expected Jophiel or one of her closest allies to be waiting for him, but he found Thomas instead, standing by the fireplace.

"Thomas, what are you doing here?" he hissed. "How'd you find me?"

"I know you better than you may think," Thomas answered, the left side of his mouth quirking up slightly. "Luckily Jophiel has not cared to."

"You were supposed stay away," Jaoel told him, a flair of anger in his chest over his brother putting himself at risk for him. "You cannot be here long or you'll be cast out too."

Thomas approached him and lifted his right hand to squeeze his shoulder as he met his eyes. "I am staying. For far too long I have heeded their every order, sacrificed my morality in the name of their laws, for a father who has not let us see his face for centuries. I'm tired of cowering, brother. I am standing my ground. Your lover has been laid to rest, the animals rehomed, and you will not protect your daughter alone, no matter where we must go."

Jaoel felt tears stinging his eyes once more, and to his surprise Thomas' eyes were shining too.

"Thank you," he said, his words nearly getting caught in his throat.

There was no use arguing with Thomas once he'd firmly drawn a stick in the sand, so he accepted his help. It felt good too, the burden on his shoulders feeling slightly less heavy with his beloved brother pledging to be there.

He yanked Thomas into a spontaneous embrace and his brother flinched, caught off guard, but soon relaxed into it and patted his back.

"Daddy, who is he?"

Jaoel backed away from Thomas to turn to Sarah, who was standing just outside the door of the bedroom, staring at the younger angel curiously.

"Sarah, this is Thomas," Jaoel replied, glancing to him before meeting her eyes. "Your uncle."

x

For years Jaoel and Thomas traveled all over the world with Sarah, fearful that if they stopped moving their brethren would catch up. It kept her safe, but also built frustration up in her as she aged. She wanted to be with other children, to learn in the same environment as they did. She got tired of being so isolated, so cooped up. As much as she loved her father and uncle, they weren't enough. Safety was not enough.

She was just a teenager being a teenager when she crept out of the cabin they were staying in while they were both sleeping, having the intention of hanging out with a few other girls in the village for several hours.

She was just a teenager, fourteen years old, when she healed a serious head injury one of the girls acquired while they were flitting around the forest like nymphs of myth in the night.

It was an unfortunate matter of circumstance that an angel that hadn't even been searching for her sensed her power when she used it and found her before Jaoel and Thomas could.

They met her friends first, bawling and clinging to each other, hardly able to spit out enough intelligible words to let them know what had happened. They'd seen things their young human minds couldn't grasp and witnessed a girl their age being slain. They'd be haunted by it for the rest of their lives.

As soon as they got the location Jaoel was racing through the thick treeline to find his daughter, legs pumping as hard as they could, faster than any human's but still not fast enough because he was already too late. He knew that, but he was compelled forward anyway.

He found her on her back, innocent brown eyes open and empty, staring blankly up at nothing. Her shirt was caked with blood that was beginning to dry. There was a stab wound to her abdomen, one clearly made by an angel's blade.

Jaoel dropped to his knees and gathered her already cool body into his arms, holding her close, his head in the crook of her neck.

"No, no, come on, come on babygirl, wake up, wake up!"

He was rocking her body, in total devastation, when Thomas caught up. He fell to the ground at the heartbreaking sight before him, weeping alongside his brother.

They did not notice the ugly grey moth that fluttered down to sit on Joel's hunched back, by his right shoulder, a symbol of what he'd become.

x

Thomas was burying Sarah just outside the cabin but Jaoel could not bare to help. Instead he was sitting in a chair in the bedroom she'd been occupying just a few hours before, flipping his blade between his calloused fingers.

He paused to point it at his heart and tried to muster up the strength it would take to shove it in, knowing there would be prolonged pain if he did it wrong. But maybe that's what he deserved, subjecting Eva and then their daughter to the wrath of his family. It had been selfish. He should have stayed a distant observer. Saved Eva and moved on.

"Jaoel."

He flinched and his eyes darted up to see his brother standing in the doorway.

"Don't do it," he pleaded. "We can heal together. We can find a new home."

"I cannot go on without her, Thomas," Jaoel murmured, struggling to breathe as he spoke. "Go."

"You would leave me to fend for myself?" his brother asked.

Jaoel wanted to punch him for it. "You're nearly as old as I am; you can take care of yourself!"

Eyes downcast, Thomas nodded. "You are right. But I wish not to. I have already buried a niece tonight; do not make me bury you too."

Bastard.

Jaoel wanted nothing more than to end the unbearable weight that had fallen over him since he'd found Sarah's body, but the hand gripping the blade loosened its hold without his consent and it tumbled to the floor.

For as much as he was in pain, he could not leave his brother to mourn alone, to live alone. Not when he'd fallen because of him.

x

Joel Miller wakes up from the dream turned nightmare and swipes at the sticky tear track on his cheek.

When will it end? He wonders silently in the dark of his second story bedroom.

He can't help but think, far from the first time, that maybe he should've used the blade after all.

xxx

Latin Translations:

Faex = shit

Mulsa = honey

xxx

Tagged: @harriedandharassed

xxx

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

xxx

[alexxncl]

obey me hcs (mainly the brothers)

masterlist | more drabbles/hcs | pt 2

keep in mind my mc is black lol

slight nsfw warning ?? it's just asmo shape-shifting

also this is so long i apologize

first and foremost, SIMEON AND DIA AFROLATINO KINGS

the two of them and mams always help mc with wash day

barbatos also does bc he helps dia with his hair and will silk press the FUCK out your hair

mams can do locs and helped the angels in the celestial realm who had them with their retwists and detox

mc convinced him to start a business on the side bc they could tell how much he loved doing their hair

beel loves kids and they love him, he's a jungle gym

levi used to (and still does) go mute when he's overwhelmed, luci and mammon taught themselves sign language in case they need to communicate with him

luci was ridiculously overprotective of the brothers when they fell, but the longer they stayed in the devildom, it was less obvious bc his pride didn't allow him to show those emotions outright

asmo can change his genitalia at will depending on his partner's needs/desires

all the brothers are some sort of neurodivergent, and so is (my) mc

this is kinda canon but all of them are queer and luci is the only cis one out of all the brothers

mc helped them become more comfortable with stimming both in the main tl and in nb bc they do it a lot themself

mams, barbatos, and luci are the best to go to when your anxiety gets bad bc they all have it and know how to handle it best/take your mind off of it

idk if this is canon or not but luci advocated for a hybrid-like rad so levi would be able to take some of his classes virtual when his anxiety gets too bad

mc has touched everyone's tails/wings out of pure curiosity once everyone was comfortable enough around them

mams always carries around crow food and birds are almost always following him around bc of it

luci and dia fucked before the fall.

mc started singing wade in the water whenever luci made them do shit and now mams does it too

mc rarely left their room after the lesson 16 incident and everyone but belphie checked up on them

lucifer forbade him from going anywhere near them but he still tried to at least see if they were ok

lucifer is *almost* physically incapable of apologizing bc of his sin

mams rarely uses his powers to their fullest extent, he did it once not too long after they fell and vowed to never do it again out of fear of hurting the people he cared about

satan's powers are equally fueled by wrath and grief

satan was with lucifer from his creation, god didn't wanna make both of them bc he knew satan would be the catalyst for a war

asmo and solomon almost dated but asmo pushed himself away bc he's scared of committment

levi had to physically hold mammon back from *seriously* hurting belphie after the lesson 16 incident

solomon is lilith's son

solomon is actually a decent cook when he doesnt try to experiment...but he always tries to experiment

magic can't even fix whatever he makes when he cooks

simeon can't see for shit but never wears his glasses

beel had and still has a lot of body image issues, his gluttony worsened them and he works out nonstop to cope

belphie listens to white noise on the rare occasion of him not being able to sleep

simeon would've fallen with luci if he found out what was happening and had more time to think, part of the reason why he was so ok with being demoted

dia wanted to be the closest to belphie when they first fell bc of their shared interest in humans and was hurt when belphie was standoffish

luke will be one of the most powerful, if not the most powerful, angels in history

i feel like he was a human and he died when he was really young and became an angel after

mephisto is a kpop stan and ults stayc

he compensates for his low self esteem and jealousy of luci and dia's friendship with the newspaper position

he also has a crush on both of them but wont admit it to himself

raph scolded the brothers so much bc they were his favorites, he didn't want them getting caught by god

felt guilty for letting the brothers fall alone, but not nearly as guilty as simeon

thirteen is a lesbian and i love her and we're married <333333

she hates solomon bc he was one of her assignments and she failed bc he's immortal

familial issues bc of the failure, she's the baby of the family but was still outcast

mc taught mams how to play spades and he's terrible at it

i'm so sorry 😭

[thegenxorcist]

The AntiChrist

Though some biblical scholars postulate that the Man of Lawlessness may represent a corrupt system or governing body, the title suggests that this advocate of religious insurrection will indeed arise in the form of a solitary being — not a demon or an angel, but a man.

Being the conflicting representation of Jesus Christ, this figure is also known as the “Antichrist” or the “man of sin.”

He refuses to subject himself to any laws or authorities — he is the epitome of lawlessness, as his title suggests. As a consequence of being above the law, he declares himself to be God and sits in His most Holy Place...

What Should We Know about the Man of Lawlessness in the Bible?

[celtrist]

Just a fun overlord idea I had, no intentions on offending anyone by the way (obviously). Tried to give some little touches with symbols while trying to keep to a simple design, essentially sorta treating this as a design you might see in the show. Maybe I'll keep workshopping it, not sure. Here's some notes below on him:

With a clear devotion to the above, I imagine him as a very ominous and serious threat. While a sinner through and through, and an overlord no less, he's more or less on the side with heaven than hell.

I'm sure you'll notice a clear inspiration from him, but I also looked at early-century priest attire as well as "dark fantasy" priest designs. I wanted to add a bit of incorporation of both Christian and anti-Christian elements to him. I guess you could say the cross in front of his eyes is him being "blinded by faith", but that wasn't exactly the intention with it. There's also jewelry with rings and necklaces to indicate a sense of corruption as priests, particularly in the older times that Hunchback was set in, aren't supposed to live in luxury with something like jeweled rings and whatnot. Could be wrong on that front, either way, I certainly wanted the jewelry to give a sense that he's corrupted in his beliefs.

I wasn't sure if holy symbols like the cross really harm sinners like burning them or anything (which fun fact, didn't know the upside-down cross originated as something positive for Christianity, only in recent times has it been depicted as something negative for the religion). However, I can totally see him as the kind of guy who would just suffer through the pain JUST so he can keep his holy symbols. So even if holy symbols do prove to harm sinners, this guy is still happily wearing it and everything. He also has two birds he uses for scouting ahead or sending messages. They don't have names right now, but one is a demonic crow and the other is an angelic dove that somehow fell from heaven (no it didn't commit sin, probably just an accident lol), and this guy took it in. The dove is more or less the sign that this guy is coming.

Finally, his accumulation of souls is made via the confessions people make to him. While Charlie advocates for redemption, the Priest Overlord simply believes in following God with no chance of redemption. The endless void is what he believes is the penultimate end for all and awaits the day for Heaven to fall into Hell for them all to be in this endless void. (Of course, this is open for change. Spur of the moment character y'know?)

And here's some fun ideas of how he might feel about certain characters: - He wouldn't like Charlie at all. Of course, he would never outwardly show this, but more passively talking down to her and telling her not to touch him to avoid filth on his clothes. - With that said, he probably is 100% open to manipulating her, no question. - He'd revere both Vaggie and Lucifer, as they're both angels from heaven even if fallen. He unfortunately probably places more blame on Lilith than Lucifer with the whole temptation thing, but not sure on that one yet. He just has a bizarre respect for the King of Hell despite being heavily alligned with Heaven. - I don't think he and Alastor would get along at all. Granted, I don't think any of the overlords would like him in general, but Alastor would have more of a problem if the Priest Overlord began encroaching on his territory.

And then finally, clearly don't have a name for him. Was thinking "Priest" but then I thought maybe "Follower" would've been a more interesting name. Not sure, feel free to give suggestions if you have any. I actually have some backstory ideas, but I'd like to keep him mysterious should he come up again. Plus, theories galore if anyone is interested.

[angeltreasure]

hi angel, i have a question/prayer request. Ever since I was brought into the church in March I have been having very vivid dreams in which i am mortally sinning (things that are very specific to me and my struggles) and IN THE DREAM i think about having to confess these things. sometimes when i wake up i do not know if it’s real or not. once im more awake i have a better handle on the fact that it was a dream but this is like almost every night. at least 3 times a week. do you think this is spiritual warfare? Please pray for me. thank you 🤍🤍🤍

According to my personal experiences and asking an exorcist, yes this is absolutely spiritual warfare when I was in a state of mortal sin. The exact same thing happed to me and the nightmare would often make my sin even worse than what I had done. I recommend doing an Examination of Conscience tonight before bed. Write down in a list the type of sin you made AND the number of times you committed the particular sins. Go to confession as soon as possible with the list and immediately to penance after. The nightmares should then stop. Don’t be afraid to go to confession!!… I’ll absolutely pray for you!

Litany of St. Pio of Pietrelcina

Lord, have mercy.

Christ, have mercy.

Lord, have mercy.

Christ, hear us.

Christ, graciously hear us.

God the Father of Heaven, have mercy on us.

God the Son, Redeemer of the World, have mercy on us.

God the Holy Spirit, have mercy on us.

Holy Trinity, One God, have mercy on us.

Holy Mary, Virgin Immaculate, pray for us.

St. Pio of Pietrelcina, pray for us.

Beloved of God, pray for us.

Imitator of Jesus Christ, pray for us.

Good shepherd of the people, pray for us.

Model for priests, pray for us.

Light of the Church, pray for us.

Adorer of the Blessed Sacrament, pray for us.

Faithful son of St. Francis, pray for us.

Marked with the stigmata of Jesus, pray for us.

Patient in suffering, pray for us.

Helper of the dying, pray for us.

Director of souls, pray for us.

Heart of gold, pray for us.

Apostle of mercy, pray for us.

Worker of miracles, pray for us.

Consoler of the afflicted, pray for us.

Lover of the Most Holy Rosary, pray for us.

Helper of souls in doubt and darkness, pray for us.

Comforter of the sick, pray for us.

Example of humility, pray for us.

Source of wisdom, pray for us.

Mirror of the divine life, pray for us.

Lover of Jesus Crucified,

Resigned to the will of God, pray for us.

Doing good upon earth, pray for us.

Filled with the spirit of self-sacrifice, pray for us.

Our help and hope in all our needs, pray for us.

Vessel of the Holy Spirit, pray for us.

Leading us to Christ, pray for us.

Our spiritual father and advocate, pray for us.

Crowned with glory in Heaven, pray for us.

God our Father, You helped St. Pio of Pietrelcina to reflect the image of Christ through a life of charity and self-sacrifice. May we follow Your Son by walking in the footsteps of St. Pio and by imitating his selfless love. Amen.

[kleenexwoman]

Aziraphale is Lucifer, Sauntering Back Upward

There's an amazing meta post about Crowley being Lucifer, and it got me thinking about the nature of their own rebellions. I love the idea that Crowley is Lucifer, and I totally think it fits, but he's a a version of the Adversary seen through a very Jewish lens, possibly even placed there deliberately by God herself as a sleeper agent. (I'm not placing Good Omens God as the good guy here; the whole point of the show is that neither side is good or bad, they're just sides to be on.)

In Judaism, Ha-Satan is an Adversary in a way that translates to "The Opposing Advocate" or "The Prosecuting Attorney" (Hebrew is Really Old and only has so many words to convey concepts), and his actual job, as appointed by G-d, is Asking Questions. He's appointed to do that. He's one of the mazikim, an angel who does G-d's dirty work of testing, tempting, judging, and destroying (I know Neil knows what this is, he named a character that!). And why was Crowley placed as the Tempter of Man? Well, he's really good at asking questions. He was turned into a demon because he had a lot of questions.

The assumption is that this is a punishment.

Job also thought he was being punished, but he wasn't. He was being used as a test because he was such a great example. Crucially, the Jewish interpretation of this story is not about trusting G-d and being rewarded or whatever, it's "Being very good doesn't mean that you'll be rewarded on Earth, it means that you'll probably have an even harder time here because G-d is using you to prove something." The double livestock and children are not meant to be a reward, they are due compensation for damages. (The Mishnah says equal cost, but I think Pain and Suffering counts for an awful lot in this case, so it's only right that he gets twice the livestock.)

Whereas Aziraphale, actually? Is not only a Christian angel, but a Christian Lucifer who is sauntering very slowly downward. A Lucifer whose job is not to ask questions, but who actually tests the angels themselves and leads them to rebellion.

(Additionally, I think it's really funny that Aziraphale and Crowley are having the exact same argument as G-d and Satan in the Book of Job, which is that it's very easy to do the right thing if you're rich but hard if you're poor, but they pick a very poor person instead of a rich one and end up taking everything away from her, and she's tempted to suicide. Great job, Aziraphale. Proves my point.)

Let's look Before the Beginning.

The first line in Genesis is about G-d creating the heavens and the Earth. So this is obviously even before "Let there be light," Market Version. The Miltonian War in Heaven takes place before that, so obviously this is before the Earth even happens. So what's Crowley doing, speaking the Divine Command when the Earth isn't around yet?

Well, without God looking over his shoulder, he's setting the stage for things like matter and energy to even be able to exist before the Earth even has the conditions to form. He's disbursing the Divine Light that's contained in the now-shattered vessels of the Sfirot.

Rav Wikipedia sums it up thusly: 'Because the sephirot are pure and unrelated to each other at this stage, each attribute alone is unable to contain the enormity of the Divine light as it descends into them, and the "vessels" (Keilim) of the sephirot undergo a "shattering" (Shevirah), creating the World of "Chaos" (tohu). Their Divine light is released and reascends, while the broken vessel fragments descend, still animated by "sparks" (Nitzotz) of light."

So, Crowley summons that Divine Light, it Big Bangs out and shatters existence into being, and Divine Light shoots out all over the place. Now, in medieval Kabbalah, this separation was considered to be a result of humans sinning, but in Lurianic Kabbalah, which is a reaction to the very beginnings of the Spanish Inquisition (the thing that got Crowley so upset with humanity), it's a necessary part of Creation. Divine Sparks being trapped inside the shards of the vessels it was stored in and forgetting what they were is necessary for consciousness that's not just a part of G-d to exist.

That's Crowley's job. It's necessary. We used to believe this was a mistake, but turns out it's not! This cosmic separation is actually really important, otherwise the Divine Sparks cannot forget their origin and experience individual consciousness and thus free will.

"In the Lurianic scheme, Creation is initiated by a primordial radical Divine "self-withdrawal" (Tzimtzum), forming a figurative "empty space/vacuum" (Khalal) in which only an "imprint" (Reshimu) remains of the withdrawn Ein Sof."

Compare this to Crowley and Gabriel's discussion of their lack of memory feeling like a house where furniture used to be. But also, consider how out of touch Crowley is with the whole Divine Bureaucracy at this point. He's clearly been left alone to do his own thing and hasn't heard what's going on in the scheme of things.

So what's Aziraphale doing there? He's just blithely winging his way across empty space, a little spark of light, when Crowley calls out to him. He doesn't appear to be doing anything more urgent or important. He comes over, asks what's up, and Crowley gives him a task -- holding the blueprint while he activates it into existence by turning a crank. Crucially, Crowley needs somebody to help him bring existence, as imperfect and chaotic as it is, into a place where it can even start to think about being. Trapping the Divine Spark in matter.

This is real fuckin sexual. It suggests Hesiod's placement of Eros as an act of attractive, sexual love as the beginning of existence, but also it's a pretty obvious sexual pun.

(The Gnostics would identify Crowley as the Demiurge for this, but we're not talking about them. I don't think Neil is trying to do anything with Gnostic mythos here; it would be a lot more obvious if he was.)

What is Aziraphale's response to this? He's disappointed that Crowley is praising Creation instead of praising his own personal beauty. It's only a second, but wow, how petty can you be? Someone has just unleashed the full beauty of the first moments of existence before you and you're like, "Wait, I'm pretty, too!" I mean, you did just metaphorically cum existence into being and I guess you're stuck in the wet spot, you could use some aftercare.

That sounds a lot like Milton's Satan. He's the prettiest boy in Heaven, and his whole thing is that he's not impressed by humanity and they should be worshipping him instead of him having to serve them. Aziraphale is a little jelly of Creation from the very start. So jelly, in fact, that he starts talking shit about it. Oh, this? Yeah, it's not that important. It's just a backdrop for humanity. Yeah, some little apes on an unregarded little blue-green planet far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the galaxy. That's what this is all about. Yeah, uh-huh, sucks to be you. Well, I wouldn't do anything stupid like raising a fuss about it. Oh, you're gonna? Ooh, don't, it's pretty dangerous. Little old angel like me could never. I don't even know what gravity is.

And yeah, maybe he was sent there to give Crowley the news in the first place, but still.

(@mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea , who suggested I tag @neil-gaiman , also points out that many interpretations suggest that Milton portrays the Fall as a Felix culpa or necessary fault, a planned thing like the shattering of the Divine Vessels in Lurianic Kabbalah -- both are necessary for independent consciousness to exist.)

God could have totally sent him to check up on Crowley, not just inform him of the new developments in the plan. Oh yeah, that one nerdy angel who got all geeked about nebulae. He's gonna flip his shit when he realizes this isn't going to run long enough for any new stars to form. Let's send my insecure little gay gossip over to see how he takes it. Ooh, he came right the fuck up to my office with a serious attitude. I mean, I don't wanna deal with that on a daily basis, but he's making some good points. I need to put him where I can use that attitude and also not have to deal with that attitude...

Not only that, but Aziraphale gives fire and the first weapon of war to Adam. These are traits identified with Prometheus and with Azazel, another name for Satan, in two different traditions.

One common interpretation of Milton is that his sympathetic Satan shares traits with Prometheus, acting as a bringer of enlightenment and a heroic figure to humanity, risking his angelic status for actions that will ultimately free humanity from the yoke of the gods. Prometheus risked the wrath of Zeus to give fire to the humans and was punished endlessly for it, and is prophesied to someday rise and do battle with the forces of Order at the end of time. Prometheus is also associated with the human brain and toolmaking (because of the fire), as well as being ultimately responsible for Pandora, the First Woman, who likewise doomed humanity because of her curiosity and disobedience of the gods.

According to the Book of Enoch, the angel Azazel, another name for Lucifer or Satan (I think by now it's pretty clear that Satan is just gonna be whichever angel is being an Adversary at the time, but w/e) was the leader of the Grigori, the angels who lusted after humans so much they decided to fuck them. Azazel personally taught them smithing and how to make weapons of war (and makeup; Aziraphale does love disguises and sleight of hand). Very Promethean. Aziraphale didn't Fall then, true, but he's also Human Gay. Possibly because his first individual experience was being attracted to (and, uh, Used for Cranking It until Creation exploded into being by) Crowley. Regardless of how much agency he had in his Gayness, he probably brought humanity the gift of Gay Sex and thus avoided having any Nefil babies that had to be drowned like half-tabby Siamese kittens in the Sandman, so he didn't Fall then either, but gee it was a narrow miss. He must have been worried about what else God could do to angels, which is why he was so terrified about his child-saving lie with Job.

(Of note is that literally the only remotely Biblical book that refers to an archangel rebelling directly against G-d for the Throne of Heaven is the Book of Enoch. Yep! Just there! It's not a Jewish belief at all, along with the idea of Original Sin or the snake being Satan--that is your Animal Urge, and it's necessary to live but you should not let it control your behavior, in Jewish thought.)

And the thing is that he does Fall a little after lying to God. She never speaks to him again, so he's left in constant doubt and has to be forced to make his own decisions, just like a demon. He obviously never tells any of the other angels, just Crowley. But you can see his anxiety about this constantly, and I bet there's a little part of him that wonders if he's actually Fallen and somehow nobody has noticed yet, but worries that the moment they do he'll be officially kicked out of Heaven. That's gotta be so, so bad for you.

But there he sits, acting as an angel, irritating the other angels to the point of extreme measures simply by being himself, the way that Crowley does to humans and other demons with lots of thought and cleverness.

He even offers Crowley the temptation to defy God's decision and take control in Heaven. Yeah, Crowley is horrified by the idea, but he's gotta stop and think about it for at least a moment, right? Crowley just didn't take it because he sees beyond the system. He already knows that the sides are bullshit in the same way I told my Christian classmates that they didn't need to worry about devils because they were really still just all angels and Hell was obviously a lie to keep them under control. (Mazikim!) Crowley wasn't tempted to take power because questioning the System is literally his job right now.

He obviously corrupted Gabriel by being so clearly in love and enjoying himself on Earth. Gabriel has his clothing tailored special and wants to save it, just like Aziraphale, even though he doesn't give a shit before. He wants to stop the Apocalypse and keep things status quo, even though he didn't before -- that's Aziraphale rubbing off on him. He wanted to meet his Hellish counterpart in a place where humans eat and drink, just like Aziraphale. And he decided that he was going to fall in love with his counterpart and even start enjoying music, just like Aziraphale, and face exile with graciousness just like Aziraphale.

Aziraphale literally tempted Gabriel to Fall. He didn't do it by asking questions, just by being himself. Enjoying things. Enjoying clothing and music and love and Earth and peace and the status quo. Indulging himself and his desires above serving God or, frankly, the humans. (Yeah, I know, he tries when he bothers, but he's still a lazy, petty bitch who prefers his personal drama and own sense of comfort to nearly everything else, and he barely tries to hide it. That's why we love him.)

And now?

Baby is Supreme Archangel. And he's gonna defy God about it. This is everything the Miltonian Lucifer ever wanted.

[kimsj90]

‘I ‘created’ the rules not for myself, but only for the benefit of all; everything is fair and just, dear brother, it is you who does not understand the ‘reality’ like I did.’

- Samael to Lucifer

(I don’t follow the trope of Samael is Lucifer’s angelic name ‘cause it doesn’t make sense if they’re connected to each other thnx to media although yes, they are correlated to Satan/The Devil/Baphomet, it DOESN’T MEAN THERE ARE ONE AND THE SAME. It is based on the texts and researches that I did. So both Samael and Lucifer are DIFFERENT in my version of Hazbin Hotel)

Samael is known to be vindictive, treacherous, spiteful, and sociopathic, known to be a delusional realist that only sees the world as ‘born from the inherent sides’. Many saw Samael as a two-faced entity, showing his evillious persona due to his duty of punishing the wicked, so far as tempting humanity by seducing and tricking them, while at the same time, doing what is necessary in the eyes of God. Samael is known to be a troublemaker in secret, dismissing every crime he did and coming off as clean to prevent himself from suspicion. This was also applied to his role as ‘The chief of Satans’ (an Adversary/ a devil’s advocate) To him, his existence as ‘Venom of God’ is justified due to his nature being between the Good and Evil ‘fair’ in God’s eyes, but to Michael and Lucifer, he is the reason why Heaven got its bad reputation.

Becoming the Judge of Limbo and residing as a Sovereign in the City of Dis, he is described as ruthless and authoritative, known for his iron-fisted rule, who only uses his methods of punishing and rewarding sinners, followers, and humans to maintain the balance of the three realms, although he retains his duty as the ‘Angel of Death’. He is known to be a highly intelligent ‘angel’, overlooking the status of the three worlds, claiming to take the souls when it becomes necessary to him. He is a firm believer in ‘fairness and just’, coming from his experience of his role, thus retaining his ideology through the means of manipulation of the unsuspected sinners and humans that were susceptible to being bound to his bidding, while at the same time, judges the sinners based on their sins committed in their mortal life and their afterlife on behalf of God. He would go so far as manipulating the highest, Sera, to accept the proposal of an annual purge in Hell. He enjoys seeing the sinners suffering or being killed during the Annual Extermination, because he sees it as either their punishment for abusing their free will or a warning to those who dared to defy the laws. This brought fear to the sinners and overlords, especially Lucifer’s daughter, Charlie, Adam and other Heaven residents.

The betrayal took a toll on him since he not only lost Lilith and erased her sisters from existence, but took the soul of the third woman he loved the most. He once believed the world has ‘beauty’ that humans should care for, however, he is destined to see death upon the mortals, so he accepts everything meaningless as his coping mechanisms. Due to his honesty that caused the downfall of his relationship, he has his heart hardened so he would never experience the same tragedy again. Upon adopting Margaret as his daughter, he shows compassion towards her, as he reminded him of his deal with the woman he wished to love, but he couldn’t. Upon finding out that Margaret is his daughter, he was encouraged by Leviathan to establish a father-daughter bond with her, and although he had tried his best to train and teach her, he sought advice from his subordinates. He doesn’t see her as a disgrace, even though she caused havoc to the human realm and was told by none other than his former brother, Michael, to kill her.

[sounknownvoid]

why dean was absolutely frothing to kill chuck/God in s14-15 imo

By s14 we're slowly starting to see the big series villain-reveal is God (spoilers! - but it is a 15xseason series that ended almost 3+ years ago so ya know....catchup) aka chuck.

And you see dean descend into this despair n depression and then absolutely frothing-at-the-mouth-desperate to kill him - at.any.cost - including making Jack into a soul-bomb ... the kid that he did *this* for finally.... birthdays n teaching him to drive in the impala...

And there's been a ton of text on the ptsd dean is sufferring at that stage and it's finally cracked him up (totally plausible) and there's a ton of analysis on how the brother bond with sam talked him down and out of using jack n that the ends doesn't justify the means and "not at any cost" theme from sam and the fact that dean was willing to listen even in that moment (contrasted to chuck n amara) - & i read an awesome analysis n scene-by-scene n line by line breakdown on spn-blr the other day (I Rb-d it the other day) of how dean was stopped cold n brought out of his madness by sam asking him if he'd be willing to sacrifice him ie sam as well in his mad quest to kill God n how dean desperately pleads his case n that chuck MUST die....n I agree with all of it...

BUT what I haven't seen yet is any theories on WHY dean was so angry about it n absolutely crazy about killing god/chuck.... coz here's what's odd to me, about it being dean:

DEAN is the GOOD SOLDIER - he respects authority and father figures in general n even models himself in the patriarchical god's image (be it John or chuck I let you decide) - his whole "free will" thing is a sham / or only within narrowly defined confines acceptable to the patriarchs, because he's always been the one who's followed the rules set for him: by dad,by the hunting life chosen for him by dad, by societal norms,of "being a man", he's always toed the line set for him by dad n although he thinks angels are dickbags, he unquestionably thinks they're the "good guys" - or the "better" option against the alternative: demons n hell (s4 or anytime really even in midst of angel-wars)....he tends to be fairly black n white n even his "rebellion" is only when sam convinces him to walk off the board by saying no to Michael (s5) ...he may scoff at angels n God but he still thinks they're the "appropriate authority" n so while he's upset with how things are run, he's not after a regime change.... he's not the one into "free will" to the point that he'd be willing to kill the ONE TRUE PATRIARCHICAL AUTHORITY ie God...

That was always SAM's gig (n Lucifer)....SAM was the "it's not who you are, it's what you do n you can choose what you do"-guy, SAM was always the one questioning everything n never toeing the line and noticing the corruption in the system n pointing out alternatives n options to everything that they were "destined" for n told to be.... SAM was the one advocating for thinking for yourself...or hell, thinking at all, period... but yes, SAM was also the one with the faith in a higher power n the praying type n had been since his younger days - always the one wanting to believe that there was a higher authority that could save him, absolve him of his sins .... but also not really believing that he deserved to be saved if there really was such a higher power of good... he chose to have faith n hope despite it all...in God.

N then, after all that, they discover it was chuck after all... think about what it means to them in their pov, for a sec:

chuck wrote their lives the way it was with losing their families n letting demons at baby Sam n sam being sold to demon deal by their mother before he was born n dads rage n neglect n conflicted leading to both of them growing up so twisted n isolated n ...

Chuck wrote the big showdown n vessels for heaven n hell n the big throw down pitting brother against each other

Chuck wrote the dying n losing each other n pieces of themselves over n over n over n over n over...

Chuck wrote dean going to hell n sam being tortured in the cage for centuries...

Chuck wrote the big painful heartbreaking,soul-breaking breakups n the lack of trust sown between them by others n by themselves

Chuck wrote the tender moments n the "bro-ments" n "fan-fiction songs" n the caring for each other's wounds n the silent communication between them n the moments of ease n care n laughter n love...

...because, Chuck wrote them as soulmates - wrote the confusing n complicated feelings they had for each other n what it did to them growing up n even after - having to deal with it n figure it out n carry the burden of this connection that meant that they could never fully connect with anyone else despite their attempts n so grew isolated - that never went away even as it twisted n grew thorns n tore them to shreds n they could never let each other go even as it destroyed each other n themselves - because that connection wouldn't let them.... Chuck wrote that.

For his own sick pleasure n entertainment.... which means he heard ALL of sams desperate pleas n prayers throughout his life growing up...n enjoyed it even as he carried on turning the screws on sam (&by extn, dean in deans pov)....which means that all the faith n hope sam chose to put in him ie God- was completely misplaced n in fact in the literal wrong hands - talk about a violation worse than rape?... sam had his faith violated by the very God he chose to believe in after all he'd been through

N the thing is that just like when dean recoiled when John told him that he'd have to kill sam if he couldn't save him n got so mad at John for doing that to him....after he'd given him everything he had...

Similarly, Dean realised a lot of the above n what has him frothing is 2x main things in my mind:

The absolute fury at God for breaking his beloved brother's heart (n soul n mind n body) , doing this to him DELIBERATELY- ie he'd be outraged n furious on sams behalf n all that he's had to go through just for chucks shits n giggles... this would be the righteous big brother-dean fury of epic proportions...

This one I reckon is more on his/their personal behalf n by that I mean their "complicated feelings" for each other - knowing it was there n both felt it n they were brothers would have fked em up pretty badly....n dean especially, often said or did things explicitly to distance himself or sam when younger to deal with this in the "right way" - which absolutely made them both miserable n he hurt sam in the process...he knows sam similarly feels his own guilt n is the source of his self loathing n "uncleanness" just like it is source of dean's amongst others ....BUT by that late season-stage they had both grown to accept it n work with it and had arrived at an understanding of it and each other and by then, they'd felt like it was the "one thing they had of their very own" - not from hunting life,or something from dad or the devil or the destiny laid out for them etc, etc.... it was theirs - they'd found something precious n beautiful n unique n "special" in each other and WITH each other that they'd never found anywhere else n finally had stopped fighting it n had grown into it.....and EVEN THAT wasn't theirs n theirs alone- chuck wrote that....n to dean who'd have struggled with it so much - it'd feel like the one good, non-murdery place in himself n what he'd built with sam was also taken away/polluted n tainted by goddamn chuck....so it's deans violation too...

So yeah it's freewill that dean wants n is fighting to kill chuck for - but it's because it threatens their love n it's a choice that they both made together n he will not have that taken away

n this also is why he thought sam of all people would understand n see that n want to take his ie dean's side that chuck had to go no matter the cost

Anyways sorry it got long... but yeah...this is what my spn-brainrotted brain thinks on why dean was jonesing for chucks blood - coz it hurt sam n coz it invalidated/threatened the integrity of their choice to be who they were to each other....

[brambleclawsdad]

my short treatise on a world with a complacent god

“God is dead,” “God has left us,” “God isn’t real.” He is dead because we killed him, he has left us because we disappointed him, and he isn’t real because of course not. All these answers betray the existential horror of disappointment and being forsaken by our “father.” They call him that because a “mother,” couldn’t bring down a plague or let loose locusts upon the land, he is a “father” because you can always disappoint your father. If god is dead, gone, or nonexistent then why does it matter? Why do we care? You can’t revive what has been stamped out in the hearts of people, nor bring back someone who left of their own will. The truly terrifying answer would be that god is here. Forget inimical beings, our god is a complacent one, a nescient one. One that created man, the world, and the heavens, and one that lost control. Forget the concepts of “punishment,” and “damnation,” because he gave us agency and temptation. God is here and has lost the brakes. No punishment works, we have cured the plague, mastered the elements, mastered the mechanics of which he used to exact dominance over men. Prometheus was punished because he gave man power over god. Fire represents knowledge of course, but it also represents the consuming desire of curiosity. Own fire is owning the ability to cast back the shadows in the natural world, it is own the means to peel back the curtains on god's stage. God is here and has no control over man.

This being the case,  we are doomed to the same struggle since Adam and Eve. We are to fight over the sins god has imbued into us, doomed to labor over the morality found in the concept of “damnation” promised to us. The unfortunate reality is that living in a complacent gods world does not mean we should surrender to anarchy. The truth is we have built our own gods to take his place. We have built a society on the theoretical morals god gave us, and evolved them. This is what Nietzsche and Kirkegard got wrong. We couldn’t kill god if we tried, not through faithlessness anyway. For god is a man alone, as we are made in his image, god is human. His is not a benevolent force, he is a man, a slave to a runaway creation. 

Those who believe in a god who is punitive and capable of delivering eternal punishment understand the concept of constant surveillance. In a theological sense, surveillance is comforting because it means he is watching, he is watching you complete good deeds and avoid bad ones. It is consequential morality, you do good, you go to heaven, bad, hell. The reason our modern society is so willing to embrace entropy is because of the nature of our neon god. We as modern and faithless human beings do not understand the concept of theological surveillance because eternal punishment does not exist. Unfortunately nothing lies after death, and therefore the only punishment that does exist is temporary mortal punishment, one we can bear until it is all over. Our neon, human god, exists in security cameras and our fabricated justice systems. Judges are our neon saints and jurors our neon angels. We very much have a handle on our means of spiritual and physical flagellation, our temporary and mortal justice is unfortunately too humanely lenient. Prosecution represents the true and moral force of justice, the defense represents our human advocate. God can weigh the measure of a heart on a scale while humans can only measure our humanity. Us godless bastards have to rely on our confidence in fellow men, we have to rely on a neon faith.

The decent reason there is nothing after death in a world with a complacent god is how could he fairly measure concepts like “good” and “bad”? Goodness and badness no longer follows the same rules as 0 AD. An infinitely wise and fair being could not base someone's entrance into heaven on “loving thy neighbor” or having a pure heart, free of sin, because put simply, no one cares anymore. Sin has no bearing on modern decision making because there is no faith anymore. Nietzsche was right that science and education has killed faith, there is no reason to believe in a father who we no longer need. We don’t have to pray for rain, for a good harvest, or good health anymore. We have grown up, and left the proverbial nest. By that realization, we have nothing to return to. The gate of heaven has been closed because we chose to leave, and shut it behind us. 

[moreapples]

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

— Romans 8:35-39

~~~~~

Nothing

By Jennifer Kane

Trouble? I’ve faced it before, and as I live, more shall come.

But nothing.

Hardship? Yes, the stormy weather in my ship of life has squalled before.

But nothing.

Persecution?

Like an army of ants—felt in the sting, unseen until then.

But nothing.

Famine?

I’ve been blessed to avoid it, though others less fortunate have known it.

But nothing.

I have faced dangers,

Life threatened by mishap or accident.

But nothing.

Whether my Death—

Or the distractions of Life—

Nothing.

Beyond the visible and into the unseen,

Not Angels in all their radiance,

Nor Demons cloaked in their own light,

Not the present, not the future,

No Height,

No Depth,

Not even my doubts,

My weaknesses,

My Failures, mistakes,

Separation from others,

Little fears or towering ones,

The vast unknown,

Not anything in all creation—

Nothing—physical, spiritual, or conceptual—

Has the power to come between God’s love and me.

~~~~~

Scriptures: Romans 8:35-39

As believers, the security of God’s love gives us an unshakeable foundation. Paul’s words remind us that no one can bring a charge against us when God, the ultimate judge, has declared us “not guilty.” In His court, we stand justified, not because of our actions, but because of Christ’s sacrifice and intercession on our behalf.

Who Shall Condemn Us? When accusations arise, whether from our own minds, others, or spiritual forces, we remember that Jesus is our advocate. The One who died and rose for us actively promotes our well-being before the Father. With such a mighty defender, all condemnation falls powerless.

More “more than conquerors” means that through Christ’s love, we rise above every hardship, not just surviving but overcoming in a way that transforms us. This victory isn’t in our own strength but in the power of Jesus. It is a victory rooted in love, a love that doesn’t fade with difficulty but grows deeper.

Consider how God calls us to conquer—not by seeking revenge or dominance, but by showing patience and extending grace even to those who oppose us. This is the love that enables us to withstand trials with confidence, knowing that nothing, not even death, can pull us away from God’s grasp. When we face famine or need, God provides; when we face “the sword” or threats, we endure with courage in His presence.

Paul ends with an unshakable truth: “Nor any other created thing shall be able to separate us from the love of God.” Remember that Nothing. Nothing. There is no power in the universe, no hardship, and no sin that can diminish God’s love for us. We are secure, surrounded by His grace. In this love, we find peace, strength, and hope that lasts beyond this life.

Reflect today on any area in your life where fear or doubt may creep in. Remind yourself that, in Christ, you are more than a conqueror, and absolutely NOTHING can separate you from God’s love. Let this truth deepen your faith and empower you to love others with the same confidence and compassion.

~~~~~

Heavenly Father, thank You for the assurance of Your unbreakable love. And the assurance of “Nothing”. So when doubts or accusations rise against me, even if its in my own mind, please remind me that You have declared me “not guilty” and that Jesus is my advocate. Help me to rest in the security of Your love, knowing that nothing in this world can separate me from You.

Lord, give me strength to face trials with the heart of a conqueror, empowered by the love of Christ. Teach me to love even those who don’t, to endure with patience, and to seek Your glory in every battle I face. Thank You for the hope and peace that Your love brings. I trust that no matter what comes, I am held securely in Your arms.

In Jesus' name, Amen.