#The fucking Witcher!

[thelostgirl21]

THIS IS A FAMILY SHOW

we expected nothing less… {x}

[absolutechaosss]

My local bookstore is so fed up and tbh I love that for them they should choose violence more

[ashbye]

Ok I'm sorry but if I see one more story labeled x reader and when I go to read it your fugly ass OC named 'nicole' or 'bridget' are in there IM GONNA LOSE MY FUCKING MIND! THAT IS NOT X READER! I know some of you could say "well just switch it out with your name"

NO I WILL NOT! ITS ABOUT THE PRINCIPLE OF FALSE ADVERTISING! STOP IT!

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

And if you are one of the people that does this... I will find you and it will not be pretty

No hate to you if your name is nicole or bridget those re just examples

[medievalandfantasymelee]

THE HOT MEDIEVAL & FANTASY MEN MELEE

FIRST ROUND: 11th Tilt

Geralt of Rivia, The Witcher (2019-) VS. Galavant, Galavant (2015-2016)

Propaganda

Geralt of Rivia, The Witcher (2019-) Portrayed by: Henry Cavill Defeated Opponents: - Roose Bolton [Michael McElhatton], Game of Thrones (2011-2019)

“Look at him. Rugged yet pretty, that regal scowl and the alluring golden eyes. He looks like he can protect you and guess what, he will! He may grumble and grunt complaints about it but if you've been trusted to his care, he'll make sure nothing happens to you. And watch out for those rare instances you can get him to smile; catching one of those can change your whole outlook on life. Bonus: looks extra-hot when dirty and streaked with someone else's blood”

Galavant, Galavant (2015-2016) Portrayed by: Joshua Sasse Defeated Opponents: - Sir Galahad [Michael Palin], Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1972)

“pour one out for Galavant, lads. this guy deserved 87 seasons and a movie”

Additional Propaganda Under the Cut

Additional Propaganda

For Geralt:

“The body on this man is pure insanity. How can anyone be this huge? And while he's super-hot when fighting ferociously with a snarl on his face, he's also super-hot with a cute little smirk on his face while he leans back against something with his arms folded and sleeves rolled up. The forearm porn alone, my god!”

For Galavant:

[arnaerr]

I'm still having troubles with my job, so I would appreciate you buying my prints/or coffee or supporting me on Patreon 🫣

[dysabria]

most of the time people get into fanfiction of a media AFTER they’ve consumed the media but i on the other hand have gotten into at least half of my favorite shows and books because i read a random amazing fanfiction about it one day and decided to go to the source

[blooms-in-april]

Jaskier: So your brother Eskel takes the route through the Blue Mountains and your brother Lambert blows things up around Novigrad, but what does your dear father do?

Geralt: Vesemir? Nothing. He stays at the keep. Fixes walls.

Jaskier: Geralt, my dear, be serious. There's no way any relation of yours can stay out of mischief for long. You're telling me a Witcher stays cooped up in that castle, sweeping floors, cooking meals, and dusting like a sweet little housewife?

Geralt: *grunts angrily*

Jaskier, laughing: Geralt, I guarantee your dear father is growing weed and getting fucked whenever you children aren't home.

Geralt: *scarred silence* That's not true.

Vesemir, at that exact moment in Kaer Morhen: Fucking come on, Guxart. Put your back into it!

[slowpokegamer]

Dandelion giving himself these fuckass crazy stats in his TTRPG book compared to his original character sheet in the core rulebook is the best summary one could ever get of his character

[cherryjuicegf]

you see geralt found this little girl whose mind had been destroyed and her childhood robbed from her and her body experimented on and thought what she needed was empathy because empathy had helped him too. and went to get jaskier. do you understand

[tielmamon]

SIR

[alpinearts]

cant stop drawing grealt ples help

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 131

Jasker is a dragon, sure. But he prefers his human form. He prefers pretty clothing and lutes over his scales and wings. He hasn't a hoard yet. He thinks. He's never truly cared for gold, though he knows that not all dragons have hoards of gold. That's just the default. What if he did have a hoard, and it just wasn't some boring old gold pieces? At first he thought his hoard must be his many exuberant outfits, but when he got into a scuffle and one outfit was ruined, he was disappointed but that was it. There was no anguish, no mourning, no big depressive meltdown over it's destruction... So probably not a hoard. Just an interest. He then thought it must be his songs. But when he heard a bard in some town playing one of his songs, he didn't erupt into scales and roars. He didn't burn down a city. He didn't even rip out his hair or anything. He wasn't even mad. He thinks you'd be more possessive and jealous over a hoard. He was mostly proud. The bard said it was a song he didn't write, he said it was by Jaskier, and he sang it quite well. But even if he didn't do any of those things, Jaskier would be mad, sure, maybe even mad, but never MAD. He thought of lovers being his hoard, but the thought went away very quickly. None of his lovers stay, and though it stings sometimes, he thinks he'd be flinging himself off a cliff if a treasure of his hoard literally got up and walked away from him. And then one day he meets a Witcher. The witcher looks at him with these piercing golden eyes, and Jaskier feels an audible shift in his soul, his being. He found it. His treasure. Maybe witchers are his hoard, and Geralt is just his first one. Maybe his hoard is just friends he meets. He doesn't know, all he knows is that he can't stop himself from staring at the gold of Geralt's eyes. Perhaps Jaskier does care for gold.

[ronaan]

truly the most fucking brainless takes are "this thing can't exist in this fantasy world because it's based on this culture". do you not fucking understand what fantasy means, you dumb motherfucker? it's all made up, dude. it can have literally fucking anything.

[szczurherbacany]

i found this in my wips folder

[bluedillylee]

[ID: season 2 Jaskier reaches out to grasp the memory of season 1 Geralt and Jaskier as they are laughing together. Below the image are the words “I miss the days when you loved me”. End ID]

[wren-of-the-woods]

It has occurred to me that Radovid is deliberately getting in a relationship with Jaskier while being fully aware that if he fucks it up he might get a Burn Butcher Burn-level breakup song written about him, and honestly I respect him so much for that