#The cats are medicated and he’s always medicated

[blood-bla-bla]

The morning after I killed myself, I woke up. I made myself breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich. I squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. I scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. I washed the dishes and folded the towels. The morning after I killed myself, I fell in love. Not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal. Not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. I fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. I fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but who now sat in his desk at school trying desperately to believe I still existed. The morning after I killed myself, I walked the dog. I watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. I saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. I stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch like she did once for mine. The morning after I killed myself, I went back to the neighbors’ yard where I left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they were already fading. I picked a few daylilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication. The morning after I killed myself, I watched the sun come up. Each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother. The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. I told her about the sunsets and the dog and the beach. The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.

The morning after I killed myself, by Meggie Royer

i like to pretend i already died and asked god to send me back to earth so i can swim in lakes again and see mountains and get my heart broken and love my friends and cry so hard in the bathroom and go grocery shopping 1,000 more times. and that i promised i would never forget the miracle of being here

[gay-dorito-dust]

Idk if your requests are open, but if they are, can you do batboys when the reader has a flu or something like that??🙏

My requests are open! But I would some fun, fluff stuff as I’ve been going through some personal stuff that have been affecting my focus and other things, leaving me a little more less then eager to do much of anything really. I’ll try to keep writing but i can only guarantee so much.

Dick is probably patting your back with a broom from another room

kidding! Dick would be very attentive and sweet when you have the flu as he would have everything you need in bulk and smother you beneath several thick blankets, tightly tucked and everything to the point you couldn’t even move a pinky, much to his amusement.

Hayley also acts as a massive help in your recovery or should we say nurse Hayley as dick would have the poor dog dress up for the bit…only for Hayley to grow bored and take her outfit off, all the while Dick becomes dramatic at how his loyal nurse has just up and quit on the job because she wasn’t get any treat treats for her service.

It was high entertainment for you as you’d watch Hayley come back into the room and tuck herself next to you on the bed, whining for your attention as she exposes her belly towards you, and who were you to ignore the cutie? You give her the belly rubs she deserves for putting up with Dick and his antics.

Other then giving you what you wanted (Hayley) dick would make sure to take care of you, going so far as to even tell you a story of his brothers to help you sleep if you couldn’t find it within yourself to do so. Dick is more than happy to risk getting sick just to cuddle you and give you a plethora of kisses, why? Apparently he couldn’t help but give you affection when you looked like a wet puppy. So when you tell him that he shouldn’t be surprised when he becomes sick himself, he only laughs and says that his immune system was good enough to prevent himself from getting sick easily, however he does indeed get sick the next day and acts surprised by it too.

‘I told you not to cuddle me, you’d get sick.’ You tell him through chuckles.

‘And leave you without knowing my love? No way, if anything it was worth the risk.’ He replies as he smiles at you before covering his mouth to cough, making you sigh sympathetically. ‘You’ll be okay.’ You reassured him as you rubbed his back soothingly, ‘I’ll even bring nurse Hayley to help bring you back to full health.’ You add.

Damian is far more stern with you when you get ill. There’s no excuses when it comes to avoiding your medication because Damian will find a way to slip the medicine into your system regardless. Seriously he’ll sneak it into your food when you’re not looking for he didn’t want your stubbornness towards the weird tasting medicine to hinder your recovery process, finding this seemingly childish reaction of yours rather ridiculous.

He often ponders whether you wanted to get better or not with how often you seemed to rebuke the medicine he gave, but he was only doing this for your own good and that was a good enough drive for him to taking care of you to full health once more.

Yet while he might have some grievances of taking care of you, he didn’t mind the idea of being your caretaker as it meant getting to be soft with you, as if he wasn’t already but the fact that you were sick only made Damian treat you more like porcelain. He would even have Titus, Ace and Alfred the cat to keep you company when he knew you were feeling a little down from time to time just to see you smile again when the dogs licked your face, whereas Alfred would be purring contently in your lap.

He knew being sick was your idea and he would always remind you that he wasn’t upset at you for it, but he just hopes that this acts as a lesson to be more carful in the future, all the while coming up with some drawing activities with you to pass the time; which ends up being a ton of fun and an absolute laugh when you see Damian genuinely try to be bad a drawing but only for it to come out better then most of the things you produced.

Jason is another one who’s rather strict about taking care of you, much like how he would be rather straightforward and blunt when you needed to eat, Jason wouldn’t let you move a single finger when you were found to be sick with the flu.

Wear all the hoodies of his that you can get your hands on, he doesn’t mind as long as it would keep you warm and comfortable, because until the day you were better he was going to wait on you hand and foot by giving you the needed medication or brining in food and water throughout the day.

Jason didn’t care what he had to do because as long as he could take care of you to the best of his abilities then that was more then enough for him, he’d even take some time away from patrol as he didn’t feel comfortable leaving you within your shared home when you were in a vulnerable state.

Thankfully Gotham wasn’t in as much need for him when his brothers Dick, Tim, Duke and Damian were overseeing the city in his absence, it helped take his mind off of that aspect while he was taking care of you by frequently checking your body temperature or make you soup, and or being there to comfort you should you feel the need to empty your stomach. Jason could fully bring his attention to you like he should and you needn’t worry about waking him up early in the morning, or even late at night because Jason was more then willing to get whatever it was you needed without compliant.

[meanbossart]

ASK COMPILATION: Boomer Drow, Scratch, Mouthwashing, Cats and musical opinions.

A more casual compilation this time as I desperately try to make some room in my inbox. I went back so far I found lore questions and art prompts that I really liked but had completely forgotten about... That's why it's a mess in there LOL I will hopefully get to those soon!

Hi! Thank you! I still dream about smoking almost every night and had a couple during the new year but I'm hanging in there :')

Very loose and mostly as a bit. It might be something that I explore more in the future, but as of right now their "canon" setting is far, far more interesting to me!

...That's brutal and highly accurate 😭

[MORE UNDER THE CUT]

I'm not gonna lie, when I started posting I got, uh, a lot of responses like this to my art. About how I drew people "ugly" and frightening and even though it MOSTLY was meant as a compliment, it got kinda... Overwhelming 😅 It definitely led me to do a 180 for a while and re-access how I wanted to draw people. I love drawing flaws but I think that comes from not really seeing them as flaws, so the amount of folks AGGRESSIVELY harping on it did eventually get to me a little bit.

I think I've since found a pretty good balance between simple, pretty and "flawed" that I enjoy, though. So, thank you! I do take your message as a compliment and I'm glad you enjoy him.

DU drow was my first run! I have since played with a different character called Izzantar who was my first non-urge campaign though.

...

...

... I didn't find scratch in the DU drow run. Sorry anon LOL

Now you see, this is the legacy I want to leave behind.

(thanks for making Astarion feel included)

I was the one who recommended it to him and I really liked it! I've always DREAMED of a game that actually and unapologetically put you in the shoes of a shitty person and took you through the complex reasons why they are the way that they are without justifying their actions. And I adore the way the secondary character undeniably had a hand in the tragedy that unfolded despite his good intentions. The game sincerely explored the types of flawed characters I rarely ever see explored and I can only give it my sincerest kudos to it.

I've been considering playing Origins on stream after MANY recommendations, actually!

I would suggest examining and referencing off athletes and gymnasts videos for practice while trying to garner a more in-depth understanding of musculature by crossreferencing that stuff with dry, medical anatomy diagrams. I have a few more in-depth examples and advice in my #tutorial and #advice tags!

DU drow would really like Frida. Jarboe would constantly disappoint him by being the very dumb animal that she is.

I think Astarion would like both of them but complain endlessly about how much attention they demand and how up in his business they'd want to be - I have a feeling he likes street cats, which none of my cats are (Frida has a little street-smarts remaining but has been thoroughly spoiled by now. Jarboe was a hoarder cat before I adopted her and is extremely sociable and un-cat-like because of it.)

I DM'd a single Call of Cthulhu session in my teens and only recently participated in my first ever DnD game in a discord event! That's about it.

This is for the over-attentive ANE readers but Brutus is a Dalyria song for me ☺️

He'd like Jazz A LOT.

But I think he'd be more of a root-punk/post-rock guy, not really into synth. And then a lot of the classics like Elvis, Nina Simone, Marley, etc.

Also Foetus and GG allin for whatever reason.

3 for Astarion, 5 for Shadowheart. Jaheira would never but she could get away with 8.

[lsunstreakerl]

more dark redbull, they've completely invaded my brain, sorry guys. I bring you 1.5k words, from max's POV!

Redbull is... weird. Jos had taught Max a lot of things over his life, where to go and what to expect and how to survive, but all of it seems fragile and wrong in the face of Max's team.

They're so present. Not that Max would know a whole lot, because he'd had a rough patch earlier in the year, losing his tonsils and Jos all in one go. He doesn't remember much of it either- the medication the hospital had sent him home with was really strong.

There's a week or two there where Max doesn't remember anything, honestly. He'd had his tonsils taken out, and Jos had disappeared. Apparently, Max was so out of it he'd tripped at GP and Alice's place- home, they've been adamant about him calling it home- and he'd accidentally cut himself on something, a thin line running vertical across his right wrist.

GP and Alice are diligent about making sure it's healed well, and Max has been scolded more than once for pressing at it. He's not great at anatomy, but it almost feels like there's a hard bump there, where there shouldn't be anything.

Then again- he's a racing driver, not a doctor, so the anatomy of it all is probably right and he's just overthinking. Max pets gently at Lois, curled in his lap. He'd mentioned once that he'd had animals when he was younger, that he missed them, and later that evening he'd gotten a cat.

He leans down to kiss Lois between the ears before standing up, dropping her gently onto his pillow.

The Lambiase's had gotten him a room setup startlingly fast. He's got his own things on the second floor, even if his windows are stiff and don't open more than a few inches.

They're also much more diligent about making sure Max rests. He understood it when he had his tonsils removed, but apparently they're like that all the time. It's weird.

It's not just GP and Alice- the whole team has quirks. Max feels like there's always a pit crew member around when he's at the track, keeping an eye on him. He's starting to learn if he can't see one, he's not looking hard enough. They're touchy as well- there's always a hand on his shoulder, feet knocking into his ankles, arms wrapped over him or around him or lifting him in the air.

The team doesn't really have a sense of personal space, especially if Max has done well. He'll find himself being carried, legs on someone's shoulder and large palms across the top of his thighs, always a few more crew members around to watch him.

Christian tolerates it- Max would almost say he encourages it. He'll wrap a hand around Max's ankle or shin, squeezing gently as he looks from him to the team, and he always seems so self assured about it. Smug, even.

Max doesn't mind. They take such good care of him, and he doesn't have to worry about bars or partying. Somehow, there hasn't been a single leaked photo of him at a party, and Max is never hungover when he wakes up.

Things are fuzzy after a bad race, which had never happened to Max before Redbull. It's one of the weirder things. They'll have the team debriefs, dissect and discuss everything that went wrong. Somehow, it's never entirely Max's fault.

GP will grab him a smoothie halfway through the debrief, and then they'll go home, or back to a hotel room. GP always stays, watches documentaries on the TV with Max as his eyes get heavy and he eventually nods off.

He didn't used to get so tired after races- especially bad ones. He used to overthink them constantly, struggle to sleep afterwards, spend hours on the sim trying to fix it.

Now he just takes a nap.

It never happens on a good race though, which Max appreciates. His brain may have decided to get weird about things, but he's never sleepy when they're out celebrating.

He has good teammates too. Max isn't quite sure what he's doing, finds himself tucked under Daniel's arm after FP's, or half sprawled across Carlos's lap at a bar.

It's where he's at now, actually. Carlos's hands are broad where they're supporting Max at his waist, the heat of them feels like a brand through the thin shirt he's wearing. Daniel has wandered back over, drinks in his hand. He sets one down next to Carlos with a grin and a wink before holding one up near Max.

"You want a G&T?"

That's a stupid question, Max always wants G&T. He nods, and Daniel grins at him, hand moving to gently tilt his head back, fingers burning on his cheek as he raises his voice to be heard over the music.

"Tilt your head!"

Max lets his jaw drop open, strobe lights flashing across his eyes, Carlos's hands on him, Daniel's fingers wrapping warm across the hinge of his jaw, the cool glass against his lips as Daniel pours the drink into his mouth.

He thinks he sees a mechanic watching from the bar, but there's usually more than one at parties, and Max has long since stopped worrying about a picture leaking. It never happens.

He dutifully swallows, feels it burn down his throat as Daniel pulls the glass away, wolf-whistling at him.

"Goddamn Maxy! Atta boy!"

Max grins, feels a little bit loopy with it as he leans forward, crossing his arms around the back of Carlos's neck as he slumps a bit into his chest, grinning up at Daniel.

He feels a bit untouchable, sometimes. He wonders if the others pick up on it- Max somehow always gets what he wants, the preferred strategy or the upgrades. He hasn't had an uncomfortable question angled at him in press conferences in months. He's sitting in Carlos's lap while Daniel's eyes are very clearly looking at him- and not his face.

At the same time, Max is very touchable. Sometimes he feels just as Redbull as the cans they drink from, so ingrained in the team it feels more like ownership. The mechanics touch him all the time. Carlos had quite literally pulled Max off the dance floor and down onto his lap. Daniel sees nothing wrong with waterfalling liquor into his mouth- knows Max will let him.

Christian will occasionally settle his palm across the nape of Max's neck during a conversation and keep it there, hand heavy.

As far as Max is concerned- GP is the ultimate authority. Max knows Christian is the boss, but even he and Helmut defer to GP when it comes to Max. He doesn't mind, has GP and Alice as his emergency contacts and medical proxy. They take good care of him, and even when he'd felt better after his surgery and tried to leave, they'd convinced him to stay.

Max is glad they did. He'd be much lonelier in his own flat by himself somewhere.

The idea of Max being lonely is a little bit hilarious- the team would never let that happen- and he giggles into Carlos's neck, lips lightly brushing his skin.

Carlos shivers underneath him, and Max swears he can hear Daniel's voice, velvet soft, reminding Carlos to behave.

Carlos leans his head back a bit, smiling fondly at Max.

"Something funny?"

Max wobbles his head in a so-so motion before he sees Carlos look up slightly, face hardening.

He twist in his lap a bit to look behind him, and his eyes widen.

Toto Wolff has walked over, bourbon glass held lightly between his long fingers. He's looking down at Max, appraising, and Max feels like oil is sliding down his spine, pressing in a bit closer to Carlos.

Wolff hums, eyes tracing the details of Max's face, his shoulders and his arms, down to where Carlos has his arms wrapped around his waist.

Daniel has stepped closer, a line of heat by Max's shoulder.

"Hey mate. Can we help you?"

Wolff tilts his head slightly.

"Just curious what all the fuss is about. Christian isn't one to get so... involved."

He glances down at Max again, lip curling at one side.

"I can see why he's made an exception here."

Max doesn't like him. Doesn't like him, doesn't want him here, doesn't want him at this bar or at their party.

He catches movement out of the corner of his eye, spots team members start making their way through the crowd in their direction.

A few mechanics from the bar, a strategy team member from the dart board, a couple of engineers stepping away from the dance floor.

Max swallows.

"I think you should leave."

Wolff is looking at him again, but something about makes Max uncomfortable, like there's a conversation happening he doesn't understand. His eyes drag across Max's face, slow and leisurely, like he knows they can all see him and he doesn't care.

"You have an undetermined contract length, yes? Rare, for Redbull to give one of those out."

Max feels Carlos tighten his arms around him as Daniel takes another step forward, between Max and Wolff.

"I think he was pretty clear, yeah? Time for you to go."

Wolff raises his hands in a mock surrender, looking at the way he's subtly but suddenly been surrounded by Redbull team members.

"Down, boys. I wasn't going to do anything."

His eyes flick back to Max.

"Tell Christian I think his little pet project is cute."

[enchantedsword]

i read to many wukong somehow ends up human/mostly human the same way mk does, deaged/amnesia and sick wukong fics and now i want to make one thats a mix of all three, i dont have much but i do have a little.

basically wukong caught the nine headed demon trying to wake and take mk, he tried to stop him but the resulting fight ended in wukongs powers and memories being sealed and regressed in age, the nine headed demon leaves them both in the city, where the eventually are found by pigsy and tang(who are married), wukongs is the same age as mk so its assumed they are half demon twins, since mk looks pretty much fully human, while wukong still has his tail and his peach shaped face mark.

as for the sick wukong part of this, i was thinking since his powers are sealed, i think his immortality is also sealed(i dont know how just pretend it makes sense), a lot of his past injuries have reared up and cause a lot of health problems, the furnace resulting in eye problems making him need glasses, along with lung problems, immune system problems caused buy 500 years under a mountain and being fed molten copper, plus the malnutrition, and highly intense migraines caused by of the circlet

they find out about these medical issues shortly after pigsy and tang takes them both in, it caused a bit of trauma for everyone, and a long string of doctor and hospital visits, never really getting a clear diagnosis, but always being told not to expect a long life for him. wukong grows up with a lot of love and support, but he does have a lot of guilt and self conscience issues about being a burden medically and financially. they also found out early on that his body cant handle hot foods or meats. pigsy and sandy make up for their fight a lot sooner then in canon due to sandy training service cats, and they have get one for wukong.

what no one realizes is that wukong is on a time limit, if they dont unlock his powers at least then he will eventually die because of his health problems

wukong is still his hyperactive and impulsive self(he is definitely audhd) but he does have a lot of limitations due to his health and hes weak because of it(and the fact his powers are sealed), he is howeververy agile and loves to do parkour when hes actually feeling well enough. hes obviously a lot kinder due to being raised by tang and pigsy and growing up with mk, he is still a little shit and a bit of a prankster, never cruel ones though. a little socially awkward since his constant health problems and resulting doctors and hospital visits caused him to miss out on school a lot growing up, mei and mk being his only friends. they met mei around the time they started school, mei being the only one willing to interact with the sick kid and his overprotective brother. pigsy and tang tend to hover a lot, even tho they do try to give wukong independence and encourage mk to have his own outside of wukong. the twins did grow up loving the stories of journey to the west, mks favorite character the story being wukong obviously, but wukongs favorite ends up being both tripitaka and the six eared macaque, i subscribe to the headcanon the wukong views tripitaka as a parental figure and obviously im a shadowpeach shipper.

at the time of canons start wukong is in the hospital due to a scare from a serious case of pneumonia, hes not released until around the time macaque shows up, and yeah everyone from wukongs past knows who he is or has suspicions on who he is, there are a lot of assumptions ranging from hes pretending to not know anything and "playing human" to something happened and he was reincarnated, all in all it takes a long time for all of them(mk and crew included) to realize that with all his powers and immortalies sealed that he will actually die. i really dont have a plan for how any of these confrontations and meetings would go, but i know its all gonna be angsty as hell. also lots of hurt comfort on all sides.

im not sure if i want to keep his name wukong or something with like xiaoyang or something with yang in it, either way his nickname would be sunny(i know its overdone im sorry i like it), im also throwing my headcanons in that hes trans and uses he/they pronouns. i even have a sort of idea of what he would look like by the start of canon, i love long haired haired wukong, so his hair is about shoulder length or a bit past, his outfit is a yellow hoodie with a macaque emblem on the back(boy has a crush and doesnt hide it) a pink skirt(cause i think that would be his favorite color) black leggings because he moves around a lot, and im not sure if i want to give him shoes or have him refuse to wear them. wukong, mk and mei are all about 19/20 around the start of canon.

i think thats everything, if i remember anything else ill just edit this post here

EDIT: i should probably go to bed but someone reminded me of the name shihou(thank you btw,i forget things easily) and now i have a cute/funny little scenario stuck in my head, we all know pigsy is the one that called mk monkie kid when he was found and adding wukong to that pigsy just names him sunny, tang however being the voice of reason on names gives them the legal names of qi xiaotian and qi shihou, named the baby monkey after the baby monkey cause he couldnt think of anything else and he loves jttw and hey if pigsy can name the more human looking one monkie kid and then he can get away with naming one shihou, they both still go by mk and sunny most of the time tho

[dramaticallytotal]

If you want, can you expand protective Chris & Chef with alenoah (any au). Hope you have a good one 👍

Definitely! I'll do it for I'm Back in the Game, Except Not Really.

__________

Protective Chris & Chef: IBITGENR Edition

I'm gonna throw some general headcanons in along with the alenoah ones.

• As soon as Noah was eliminated, Chris showed him the room he and Chef put together for the teen on the staff level of the plane since they didn't trust any of the former contestants to not try and get clues or something from Noah now that he's no longer in the game. (Especially Alejandro, Heather, Courtney, and Duncan)

• They make sure he is fed and taking his medication and warm! They can't have their ki- assistant not in peak condition!

• Chef makes him carry a taser, pepper spray, a pocket knife, a cat eye defense keychain, a key that is really a knife, a whistle, a panic button, and a flare gun on him at all times. Noah may have gained muscle and such from his time as Chris's assistant, and his weight is finally getting to a healthy limit but that don't mean he's leaving his boy with nothing to defend himself. (Chef has acknowledged that he sees Noah as a son and is trying to get him husband to realize he also sees the snarky boy as his son).

• Chris is in constant contact with Noah's mom, Abbi. The two got close once Noah became an intern in season one. It was them getting close that made Noah's time as an intern short, and he was quickly promoted to assistant. Not because of favoritism or anything but because, look as much as people like to say Chris doesn't have a heart, he does, and their family situation got to him.

• Noah's mom and dad were in the process of getting a divorce during Island. Noah didn't know until after the show was over since they aren't allowed to contact anyone outside of the competition but Chris had gotten in contact with Abbi to ask her permission to hire her son as an intern. Abbi agreed, and it was during one of their talks where they were hashing out all the details that he heard a fight break out between Abbi and who he learned was Noah's dad Mason.

It was about Noah.

Specifically his conduct on the show. Mason had been ranting how it was Abbi's fault Noah didn't turn out like a "correct" man, and him losing was because she coddled him. Chris unwillingly heard everything and how it came out that Mason was the reason Noah wasn't as close to his sisters as he had once been. Mason had apparently gotten in his head and continuously compared Noah to his sisters in an effort to "motivate" him.

It got to the point that Noah stopped interacting with his sisters. They found this out at the same time Chris and Abbi did as apparently Mason couldn't keep his thoughts to himself and said anything and everything that came to mind. It ended with Abbi calmly saying she wanted a divorce.

The next time they were in talks with each other, Abbi broke down and confessed to Chris that Mason agreed to the divorce, but on the condition, he gets custody of Noah. During this time, Chris had already grown fond of Noah, so he was worried how all of this would affect the boy. So he helped Abbi find a good lawyer.

Mason's lawyer was going to use Noah's medical history and Abbi's work hours as a way to get custody and basically say Noah needed a parent who could take care of him whenever possible and not a parent with one of the busiest schedules as Abbi had always had a big workload. Mason was trying to make it seem like Noah needed care and was unable to do things on his own.

Chris's brilliant plan was to then hire Noah as an assistant instead so Abbi could show the courts he's more than able to work and provide for himself if needed. (Mason isn't the smartest person despite having a PHD. and being a professor.)

• Then Noah found out about the divorce after Island wrapped up, and Action was underway, and Chris got worried as the kid just threw himself into his work.

It took a lot of talks and more heart-to-hearts than Chris liked to get the kid to talk about how he was feeling and go get him to contact his mom and sister. Thankfully, Chef was there, and he was definitely a better listener than his husband.

• Unfortunately, the custody case ended up requiring they go to court, and Noah gave a statement. Chris and Chef were there the entire time, and through it, they found themselves close to the Mudaliar family. Therefore, they feel very protective of Noah after everything. [I might expand on this in a separate post, but this is canon in all my aus. Mason isn't the best nor the worst dad, just a really misguided one and in some aus he does genuinely try to be apart of his kids lives after the divorce but in others he just stops being there. This is one of them.]

_____ (moving on!)

• The first time Chris and Chef see Alejandro try and talk to Noah, they always end up having something for him to do. How weird.

• They are also not a fan of the intern who has been flirting with their boy either! But there's not much they can do there because they are low on interns and aren't allowed to fire anymore.

• Though they definitely distract him with meals (family dinners as Chef would say).

• They make sure Noah wears thermals under his normal clothes and jacket, and hat, and scarf, and gloves, when he was out during the Sweden challenge.

• They also noticed that despite their efforts, Alejandro managed to talk to Noah and even got him to smirk! And chuckle! How dare he after he so ruthlessly voted off their boy! (Nevermind the part where they planned it.)

• When Noah is in charge and directing people in view of the cast, Chris makes sure Alejandro somehow gets water dumped on him or tripped or something because he does not like the look in that boy's eyes as he ogled at Noah.

• Alejandro and Noah were getting closer, and once it was the wedding challenge and Alejandro asked Chris if he could switch Heather for Noah, Chef and Chris nearly threw him off the cliff. Noah had blushed

• Thus, the China challenge happened. It was supposed to be something different, but Chef had recalled how Alejandro had gagged when he ate his Candy Fishtails, so he convinced his husband to do a food competition. Chris was all for it! (No Chef helping Blainley cheat in this au)

The two watched how grossed out Alejandro was for the entire challenge back in their room and laughed maniacally.

• Chris and Chef ban Noah from appearing anywhere near the Rapa Nui challenge, given he's a freaking Disney princess, and the condors would probably mistake him as their chick and kidnap him.

• They somewhat accept Alejandro after the boy protected Noah from the plane explosion since Chris and Chef weren't close enough to do so themselves.

[extravagantliar]

Jim Henson’s Worst Muppet says Happy New Year

[bmpmp3]

fffffffffuuuuuuccccccccccck i was always meant to become a mascot character designer

[sunnysaylorboy]

.

[sanchoyo]

haven’t been on much bc my dog has been sick :( between seizures and an infected tooth we’ve been having a Time trying to get everything fixed (this started around the holidays so our vet has been very booked up…we have been like 3-4 times in the past 4-5 weeks OTL does not help it’s like an hour drive there, so that’s been exhausting) now his new seizure meds are making him sick (was hoping it was like, just an adjustment period thing but he’s been sick for a week and having concerning symptoms…) if I’m not on a ton or slow to replying to messages it’s bc I’m working as much overtime as my job will give me bc Vet Expensive and mentally drained obvi 😞

[theoryfan205]

Pray for me I'm going to get blood drawn and it's very scary and painful

[fazcinatingblog]

oh yeah, there's a new cat doctors opening near my work. like a vet who sees cats, but also could be a bunch of cats who are doctors now i think about it

[pondscummy]

WILD to have been feeling like I was overreacting about my roommate for days and feeling like oh I'm just not giving them enough credit I'm sure they do care about me even though I'm usually pretty comfortable expressing hurt or need to friends and I don't feel safe doing that w them I'm sure it's exclusively a me problem. and then. scrolling back through this vent blog and it's just a log of various times they've hurt my feelings LMFAO

[catgirlkirigiri]

What if we were ex-Clan cats who formed our own little group after being removed from the Clan under mysterious circumstances and we were both W. D. Gaster 😳😳😳

[generationa1trauma]

flatmate has a girl over i am suddenly extremely uncomfortable

[dontpetmeibite]

She really was just going to unlock the comms.

But this mutiny has actually been the solution to all of her problems.

Because she doesn't have to figure out how to get herself and Megatron out of the ship without being noticed, and she doesn't have to figure out how to reach Krok and Misfire without getting caught; and she doesn't have to go the long normal way home and dodge both Autobots and Galvatron's Decepticons and the DJD to get there.

She's going home to Sanctuary, and she's bringing the whole ship with her.

She isn't even going to lose the friends she's made here. She's saved all of their lives, and she isn't taking them to a Decepticon military base, or worse yet, a prison; she's taking them to Sanctuary, and the ones who haven't done anything wrong can go straight back to their quest if they want to.

(So can the rest of them, really; Sanctuary doesn't exactly have jails. Unless you count the cooldown suite, a polite name for the drunk tank. There's extra work details for the petty slag, there's Truth & Reconciliation for the war-related issues, and the penalty for being unwilling to live a eusocial life is expulsion.)

They just can't make Megatron go back with them.

It won't do to get overconfident, though.

They have to keep everyone alive until the quantum drive finishes doing its thing (somehow, Nautica says, it got the coordinates out of the spark reading Nautica took for her--and of course it did--she's bound to Soundwave, and Soundwave's in Sanctuary).

Except for Getaway, Atomizer and Blaster et alia.

Ravage doesn't care if any of them die.

She's awfully worried about Megatron, though. She needs him to live.

Frag this going down fighting, frag the political optics of Autobots murdering him, and the way that'll play for their team, and the benefit of not having to figure out what to do with him--she wants him alive.

She can't bear the thought of him dying before he and Soundwave can come to a mutual peace.

(and she loves him, there's that of course.)