#The Hunchback of Soho

[ozu-teapot]

Der Bucklige von Soho | Alfred Vohrer | 1966

Eddi Arent, Suzanne Roquette, Gisela Uhlen

[jaimeshanice]

Appreciation for RED fashion throughout tv & film: I Know Who Killed Me (2007) | Reign (2013) | The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996) | Pearl (2022) | Gone with the Wind (1939) | The New Guy (2002) | Gossip Girl (2007) | Rosemary's Baby (1968) | Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) | The Handmaid's Tale (1990) | Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005) | Coming to America (1988) | Nope (2022) | Bedazzled (2000) | Bring it On (2000) | True Blood (2008) | Shriek! If You Know What I Did Last Friday The 13th (2000) | My Bloody Valentine (1981) | Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953) | The Invitation (2022) | Sailor Moon (1992) | The Stendhal Syndrome (1996) | The Fly (1986) | Last Night in Soho (2021) | Scream (2022) | Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970) | Suspiria (2018) | Vertigo (1958) | Clueless (1995) | John Tucker Must Die (2006)

[bloodybosom]

English: The Hunchback of Soho. West Germany, dir. Alfred Vohrer, 1966.

[mrbexwrites]

9 People you want to get to Know Better

Tagged by my new mutual @deanwax! Hi buddy!! :D

And just tagged by @surroundedbypearls as well :)

1. 3 ships: I'm not really a shipper, but there are 3 relationships that I really adore:

Lesley Knope & Ben Wyatt (Parks & Rec)

Amy Santiago & Jake Peralta (Brooklyn 99)

Eleanor Shellstrop & Chidi Anagoye (The Good Place)

I just...I'm a bit of a softy for healthy relationships with good communication, okay?

2. First ever ship: I honestly can't remember. I think it was probably Quasimodo and Esmeralda from Hunchback of Notre Dame when I was a kid!!

3. Last song: Wrong Side of Heaven by Five Finger Death Punch

4. Last movie: Last Night in Soho on Netflix. It was fun and trippy and Anya Joy-Taylor was amazing! I wasn't expecting ghosts, but it has ghosts in it as well.

5. Currently reading: Jimmy the King by Gus Garcia-Roberts. I picked it up as research for dirty cops in Memento Mori because I was worried that my own fictional cops would be too unbelievable. But fml, this guys makes Line of Duty look tame! No wonder LISK was active for so long. It's a hefty read, but really well researched.

6. Currently watching: Just finished the latest season of WWDITS and making a start on Star Trek: Lower Decks. I want a moopsy already.

7. Currently consuming: Just finished off a bowl of homemade lentil and chili soup, with toast and butter. Yum.

8. Currently craving: Cheesy potato skins.

Passing the tag onto @akiwitch @scribe-of-stories @scifimagpie @writingf3 @queen-tashie @inflarescent and anyone who wants to do this. Please tag me so I don't miss this chance to get to know you guys a little bit better :D

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

60’s and 70’s pulp horror movies

[illustraction]

The HUNCHBACK OF SOHO (1966) - CRIME TIME IN LONDON THRU ITALIAN MOVIE POSTERS (Part 8/10)

Another magnificent Italian poster for the German adaptation of an Edgar Wallace novel, Der bucklige von Soho directed by the maestro of the genre, Alfred Vohrer and with another sublime painting by Renato Casaro

Director: Alfred Vohrer Actors: Gunther Stoll, Uta Lekva

All our HORROR movie posters are here

If you like this entry, check the other 9 parts of this week’s Blog as well as our Blog Archives

All our NEW POSTERS are here

All our ON SALE posters are here

The poster above courtesy of ILLUSTRACTION GALLERY

[jellogram]

October/Halloween Movie List Inspo by Theme!!!!

I probably forgot or omitted a ton of stuff so please don't get mad lol. Most of the older ones are available on YouTube or Tubi, the majority are in English, and most of the lists are in chronological order. I also avoided most sequels for simplicity's sake. I've seen most but not all of these so no content warnings are listed, so be sure to check accordingly.

🎃💀🎃💀🎃💀🎃💀

The Silent Era:

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1920)

The Phantom Carriage (1921)

Nosferatu (1922)

Häxan (1922)

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1923)

The Phantom of the Opera (1925)

Faust (1926)

Vampyr (1932) (Almost silent)

The Universal Monsters Starter Pack

Dracula (1931)

Frankenstein (1931)

The Mummy (1932)

The Invisible Man (1933)

Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

The Wolf Man (1941)

Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

Best of Hitchcock Horror

Rope (1948)

Strangers on a Train (1951)

Rear Window (1954)

Vertigo (1958)

Psycho (1960)

The Birds (1963)

Classic Slashers

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Halloween (1978)

Friday the 13th (1980)

The Evil Dead (1981)

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Child's Play (1988)

Candyman (1992)

Scream (1996)

The "Science Fiction/Double Feature" Collection from the Rocky Horror intro:

The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)

Flash Gordon (various serials 1936-1940)

The Invisible Man (1933)

King Kong (1933)

It Came From Outer Space (1953)

Doctor X (1932)

Forbidden Planet (1956)

Tarantula! (1955)

The Day of the Triffids (1962)

Night of the Demon (1957)

When Worlds Collide (1951)

Cult Classic and B-movie MegaMarathon

Them! (1954)

The Blob (1958)

Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)

The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961)

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

The Wicker Man (1973)

The Phantom of the Paradise (1974)

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

Eraserhead (1977)

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978)

The Thing (1981)

The Evil Dead (1981)

Clue (1985)

Elvira (1988)

Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

Donnie Darko (2001)

Birdemic (2008)

Jennifer's Body (2009)

The "I Miss the Old Tim Burton" Watch List

Vincent (1982)

Beetlejuice (1988)

Batman (1989)

Edward Scissorhands (1990)

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Sleepy Hollow (1993)

Mars Attacks (1996)

The Corpse Bride (2005)

Sweeney Todd (2007)

Dark Shadows (2012)

Macabre Musicals

The Phantom of the Paradise (1974)

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Corpse Bride (2005)

Sweeney Todd (2007)

Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)

The Lure (2015)

The 90s Nostalgia Mixtape

Edward Scissorhands (1990)

The Witches (1990)

The Addams Family (1991)

Death Becomes Her (1992)

Hocus Pocus (1993)

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Casper (1995)

The Craft (1996)

Scream (1996)

Halloweentown (1998)

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

The "God Forbid Women Do Anything" MegaMarathon

Carrie (1976)

Suspiria (1977)

Heathers (1989)

The Witches (1990)

The Craft (1996)

Ringu (1998)

Ginger Snaps (2000)

Teeth (2007)

Jennifer's Body (2009)

Black Swan (2010)

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014)

The Lure (2015)

The VVitch (2015)

Raw (2016)

Midsommar (2019)

Us (2019)

Last Night in Soho (2021)

X (2022)

Scary Found Footage

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

Rec (2007)

Paranormal Activity (2007)

Cloverfield (2008)

Lake Mungo (2008)

Unfriended (2014)

As Above, So Below (2014)

Creep (2014)

Host (2020)

Dracula Through the Ages

Nosferatu (1922)

Dracula (1931)

Horror of Dracula (1958)

Dracula (1979)

Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)

The Monster Squad (1987)

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

Van Helsing (2004)

Dracula Untold (2014)

The Film Bro Starter Pack (Spooky Edition)

The Exorcist (1973)

Alien (1979)

The Shining (1980)

The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

American Psycho (2000)

Donnie Darko (2001)

Get Out (2017)

Eye Candy

Suspiria (1977)

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

Coraline (2009)

Crimson Peak (2015)

The Love Witch (2016)

The Neon Demon (2016)

Mandy (2018)

Last Night in Soho (2021)

The Munsters (2022)

Movies My Mom Doesn't Realize Are Gay

Rope (1948)

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 (1985)

The Lost Boys (1987)

Hellraiser (1987)

Interview with the Vampire (1994)

The Craft (1996)

Black Swan (2010)

[movie-titlecards]

The Hunchback of Soho (1966)

My rating: 3/10

Ich weiß nicht, aber Zwangsprostitution und institutionelle Gewalt passen, finde ich, nicht so recht zum eher leichten Ton und Big-Band-Gebläse eines durchschnittlichen Edgar-Wallace-Films.

I don't know, but I don't think sex slavery and institutional violence are a very good fit for the rather light tone and brassy big band sound of your average Edgar Wallace movie.

[blackcur-rants]

Musical Theatre Songs that remind me of characters in “A Song of Ice and Fire”

01. Eddard Stark: Tradition (“Fiddler on the Roof”)

02. Catelyn Tully-Stark: Meadowlark (“The Baker’s Wife”)

03. Lyanna Stark: Heart of Stone (“Six”)

04. Jon Snow: Proud of your boy (“Aladdin”)

05. Robb Stark: Go the Distance (“Hercules”)

06. Sansa Stark: Home (“Beauty and the Beast”)

07. Arya Stark: Reflection (“Mulan”)

08. Bran Stark: Strangers like me (“Tarzan”)

09. Meera Reed: On my way (“Brother Bear”)

10. Jojen Reed: One Song Glory (“RENT”)

11. Rickon Stark: Good Kid (“The Lightning Thief: The Musical”)

12. Wyman Manderly: What I did for love (“A Chorus Line”)

13. Beric Dondarrion: Do you hear the People sing? (“Les Miserables”)

14. Daenerys Targaryen: Defying Gravity (“Wicked”)

15. Rhaegar Targaryen: Love is an open door (“Frozen”)

16. Viserys Targaryen: Lonely Room (“Oklahoma”)

17. Aerys II Targaryen: Hellfire (“The Hunchback of Notre Dame”)

18. Rhaella Targaryen: Baby Mine (“Dumbo”)

19. Khal Drogo: I wanna be like you (“The Jungle Book”)

20. Tyrion Lannister: One Last Hope (“Hercules”)

21. Bronn: Money, money, money (“Mamma Mia”)

22. Tywin Lannister: Things you see in a graveyard (“Repo: The Genetic Opera”)

23. Joanna Lannister: I know him so well (“Chess”)

24. Cersei Lannister: My Lullaby (“The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride”)

25. Jaime Lannister: As long as he needs me (“Oliver”)

26. Aurane Waters: On the Amazon (“Mr. Cinders”)

27. Kevan Lannister: You’ll be back (“Hamilton”)

28. Theon Greyjoy: Prince Ali (“Aladdin”)

29. Asha Greyjoy: Just around the Riverbend (“Pocahontas”)

30. Balon Greyjoy: Why we build the wall (“Hadestown”)

31. Euron Greyjoy: Alive (“Jekyll and Hyde”)

32. Victarion Greyjoy: I’m mean (“Popeye”)

33. Aeron Greyjoy: You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch (“How the Grinch stole Christmas”)

34. Hoster Tully: The Private and Intimate life of the House (“Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812”)

35. Walder Frey: Master of the House (“Les Miserables”)

36. Lysa Arryn: Rose’s Turn (…that one musical about Rose Lee Hovick with the very unfortunate title)

37. Myranda Royce: Dancing through life (“Wicked”)

38. Mace Tyrell: Mine, Mine, Mine (“Pocahontas”)

39. Olenna Redwyne-Tyrell: Painting the Roses Red (“Alice in Wonderland”)

40. Loras Tyrell: She used to be Mine (“Waitress”)

41. Margaery Tyrell: Living it up on top (“Hadestown”)

42. Samwell Tarly: Dust and Ashes (“Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812”)

43. Gilly: Requiem (“Dear Evan Hansen”)

44. Robert Baratheon: Joanna (“Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”)

45. Joffrey Baratheon: The Phoney King of England (“Robin Hood”)

46. Myrcella Baratheon: Dancing Queen (“Mamma Mia”)

47. Gendry: My Petersburg (“Anastasia”)

48. Jon Connington: How it Ends (“Big Fish”)

49. Stannis Baratheon: Stars (“Les Miserables”)

50. Davos Seaworth: If I were a rich man (“Fiddler on the Roof”)

51. Selyse Florent-Baratheon: Evening Prayers (“Carrie”)

52. Alester Florent: I don’t understand the poor (“A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder”)

53. Renly Baratheon: Gaston (“Beauty and the Beast”)

54. Brienne of Tarth: The Impossible Dream (“Man of La Mancha”)

55. Septon Meribald: God Help the Outcasts (“The Hunchback of Notre Dame”)

56. The High Sparrow: Wonderful (“Wicked”)

57. Doran Martell: All the Wasted Time (“Parade”)

58. Elia Martell: Your Daddy’s son (“Ragtime”)

59. Oberyn Martell: Make them hear you (“Ragtime”)

60. Sarella Sand/Alleras: What’s this? (“The Nightmare Before Christmas”)

61. Marwyn: Higitus Figitus (“The Sword in the Stone”)

62. Qyburn: The Oogie Boogie Song (“The Nightmare before Christmas”)

63. Arianne Martell: Still Hurting (“The Last Five Years”)

64. Quentyn Martell: Hero (“Ghost Quartet”)

65. Gregor Clegane: My Name (“Oliver”)

66. Sandor Clegane: When there’s no one (“Carrie”)

67. Petyr Baelish: Easy Street (“Annie”)

68. Varys: You’ve gotta pick a pocket or two (“Oliver”)

69. Illyrio Mopatis: Molasses to Rum (“1776”)

70. Barbrey Dustin: When you’re good to Mama (“Chicago”)

71. Bloodraven: Die Faden in der Hand (“Rudolph”)

72. Egg: This is the moment (“Jekyll and Hyde”)

73. Dunk: Waiting for life (“Once on this Island”)

74. Rohanne Webber: Ich Gehor Nur Mir (“Elisabeth”)

75. Eustace Osgrey: God, I hate Shakespeare (“Something Rotten”)

76. Daemon II Blackfyre: La Donna e Mobile (“Rigoletto”)

77. Roose Bolton: What’s the use of feeling, Blue? (“Steven Universe”)

78. Ramsay Snow: Dentist (“Little Shop of Horrors”)

79. Dolorous Edd: Knight of the Woeful Countenance (“Man of La Mancha”)

80. Alliser Thorne: G Company Blues (“From Here to Eternity”)

81. Satin Flowers: Pixies of the Ether (“Soho Cinders”)

82. Shae: It’s all the same (“Man of La Mancha”)

83. Donal Noye: Bare Necessities (“The Jungle Book”)

84. Mance Rayder: It’s hard to be the bard (“Something Rotten”)

85. Tormund Giantsbane: Through Heaven’s Eyes (“The Prince of Egypt”)

86. Ygritte: Soldier and Rose (“Ghost Quartet”)

87. Jeor Mormont: One Last Time (“Hamilton”)

88. Jorah Mormont: Meant to be yours (“Heathers”)

89. Barristan Selmy: They call the wind Maria (“Paint your Wagon”)

90. Ashara Dayne: Lily’s Eyes (“The Secret Garden”)

91. The Green Grace: You’re playing with the big boys now (“The Prince of Egypt”)

92. Hizdahr zo Loraq: We are Siamese (“Lady and the Tramp”)

93. Reznak mo Reznak: Was I Wazir? (“Kismet”)

94. Xaro Xhoan Daxos: Money makes the world go round (“Cabaret”)

95. Aegon VI Blackfyre: Chip on my shoulder (“Legally Blonde”)

96. Jalabhar Xho: Diva’s Lament (“Spamalot”)

97. Quaithe: A cover is not the book (“Mary Poppins Returns”)

98. Melisandre: Age of Aquarius (“Hair”)

99. R’hllor: Der Holle Rache kocht In meinem herzen (“The Magic Flute”)

100. The Others: Ewigkeit (“Tanz der Vampire”)

@musicalhell @book-sansa @daphneblakess @flightsofwonder @dumbandlazy @cynicalclassicist

[ozu-teapot]

Der Bucklige von Soho | Alfred Vohrer | 1966

[ctpinocchio]

Creative Team Biogs

Lizzie Hopley - writer, script and songs

Lizzie Hopley was born in Liverpool and trained at Manchester University and RADA. As a writer, her sitcom pilot Green won Pozzitive Television’s’ Funny Dot Comp 2021(with Olivia Mace) and her TV series Bloody Betty is currently in development with Showem Entertainment. Radio plays include Salome (Drama on 3), The Elizabethan Beauty Law (Radio 4) and The Cenci Family (starring Sally Hawkins, nominated for a Sony Academy Award & a Richard Imerson 1stplay award). Her debut theatre play Pramface was awarded the Plat de Jour at Edinburgh Festival 2005. She took a year out in 2017 to work full time as a comedian to create a blog: Diary of a Stand Up Virgin. As an actress, her TV and film work includes S3 of Brassic, Little Boy Blue (ITV), Luther (BBC), Cary Fukunaga’s Jane Eyre, Pierrepoint with Timothy Spall, The Thirteenth Tale with Vanessa Redgrave, The Day of the Triffids (with Dougray Scott & Eddie Izzard). Notable theatre work includes an international tour of Tis Pity She’s a Whore with Cheek by Jowl and the RSC’s Roaring Girls Season.

Lizzie’s work with Creation Theatre Company began in 2004 when she appeared as Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing. She has since written several shows including The Snow Queen, The Oxford Passion, Tales from Hans and Aladdin and in 2020, co-created digital Zoom play, The Merry Wives of WhatsApp.

Ryan Dawson Laight - Designer

Ryan studied Design at the University of Brighton he has gone on to work both nationally and internationally. Ryan works with clients from initial design concept, through to final production, and his style is born out of the unique collaborations that occur on each project. He is an Associate Designer for Creation Theatre and an Associate Lecturer in Theatre Design at the University of Chichester.

Currently: National Youth Dance Company’s new work choreographed by Alessandra Seutin, Good Youts Walk for Botis Seva, Hunchback of Notre Dame for NYMT.

Theatre includes: My Son’s A Queer But What Can You Do (Turbine Theatre), My Brilliant Friend (National Theatre, Associate Costume Design for Soutra Gilmore); Pinocchio, The Wizard of Oz, Crossing Lines, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast, Peter Pan, A Christmas Carol, Grimm Tales, The Tiger Who Came To Tea (all for Chichester Festival Theatre). Associate Designer at Creation Theatre. Recent work for the company includes Grimm Tales, Alice: A Digital Wonderland, Don Quixote, The Tempest, The Snow Queen, Peter Pan, Brave New World, Swallows and Amazons, Dracula, A Christmas Carol, Alice in Wonderland, Hamlet, Macbeth, As You Like It, Henry IV, King Lear and Treasure Island; Torch Song (Turbine Theatre, dir. Drew McOnie); for Le Gateau Chocolat: Duckie (Royal Festival Hall), Icons (Edinburgh Festival), Black (Unity Theatre Liverpool/Soho Theatre) and Le Gateau Chocolat (Menier Chocolate Factory); HMS Pinafore, Chess, Blondel and The Mikado (Union Theatre national tours); for the Brit School: Landmines (Oval House), Sticky and Infinite Joy (Southwark Playhouse); Chip Shop The Musical (Octagon Theatre Bolton); Ice Cream Opera (Freedom Arts Studio).

Dance includes: Botis Seva's BLKDOG (Sadler’s Wells, Olivier Award Best New Dance 2019); Blak Whyte Gray (Boy Blue/Barbican, Olivier Award Nomination 2018); REDD (Boy Blue/Barbican Theatre); Madhead(NYDC/Sadler's Wells); Wasteland, Coal (Gary Clark Company, UK Theatre Award for Achievement in Dance); Toro, Mariposa, Ham and Passion (DeNada Dance Theatre); Drew McOnie's Drunk (Leicester Curve/Bridewell Theatre) and Good Morning Midnight (Jermyn Street Theatre); Genius (Anjali); New Ways Of Living (Pink Fringe Brighton); Je Suis (Aakash Odedra Company/Lillian Baylis Studio, Sadler’s Wells); Ruffle (Carlos Pons Guerra/Rambert Dance/Lowry Theatre); Hear Hear (Deaf Men Dancing, Sadler’s Wells).

Education: Ryan has been a visiting designer and lecturer at BRIT School (Croydon), University of Chichester, Aiglon College (Switzerland), ALRA, London Studio Centre, Northern School of Contemporary Dance, Trinity Laban, Tring School of Performing Arts, as well as delivering workshops for the Victoria and Albert Museum, Working Title Films, Chichester Festival Theatre, and his own workshops from his studio (Backstage Design Workshop).

Olivia Mace - Song Arrangements and Musical Director

Olivia is an actor, dramatist and composer. Composer credits include: Right Swipe (Amazon Prime), Dirty Word (Crazy Coqs Cabaret Theatre), Caravantomime (Robin Linde Productions). Writer-Composer credits include: Bleak House (Creation Theatre), Playing the King (Creation Theatre) The Emperor’s New Clothes (Small Truth Theatre) and Fresco (rehearsed reading recital, the Waterloo East Theatre). Olivia co-created and performed in musical improvisation cabaret show Blinkface (Crazy Coqs and Hoopla Theatre) and her satirical music videos (Hipster Hop, You Know All The Signs, Ring Out The Bell Ends, Alexander Johnson and Alt Right ladies) can be found on YouTube.

Kate Webster - Movement Director

Kate trained at RWCMD and Trinity Laban Conservatoire of Music and Dance. Movement and choreography for theatre includes; Twelfth Night (Orange Tree Theatre), Beauty and the Beast (Key Theatre), Mushy (Watford Palace and tour), Henry V (Barn Theatre), Peter Pan (Key Theatre), Diminished (Hampstead Theatre), Daisy Pulls it Off (The Park Theatre), Vanity Fair (Middle Temple Hall) A Christmas Carol, Wind in the Willows and Oh What a Lovely War! (Haymarket, Basingstoke), T5 (Roundhouse Theatre for DryDance).

Movement for Opera: The Unravelling Fantasia of Miss H (festival tour), Orpheus in the Underworld (Blackheath Halls).

Movement for Screen; Corrupted (music video), 2/10 (music video) and Heavy Shoes (music video) for Rebecca Levy.

Performance includes; Travelling Light (National Theatre), The Double Falsehood (Charing Cross Theatre), The Sea (Theatre Royal, Haymarket), Lear (The Sheffield Crucible) and The Soul of Ch’ien-nu Leaves Her Body (The Young Vic).

[analogscum]

GIRL FROM STARSHIP VENUS (1975, d. Derek Ford)

Last year, I went to a screening of the ultra gory bizarro slasher classic Nightmare at the Drafthouse. The film was introduced by Mike Hunchback, a name that should be familiar to genre fans, especially in the tri-state area. During his opening remarks, Mike made a point that I thought was especially trenchant: when it comes to low-budget cinema, we must judge the film based on its merits. After all, not every film is trying to be Citizen Kane or Vertigo, so why should those be the water marks that every film has to meet? It’s something that I really try and hold true here at the site, giving each film I watch a fair shake based simply on what it set out to accomplish, and whether or not it succeeded in doing so. All that being said, I seriously think that today’s film, 1975’s Girl From Starship Venus, is the worst film I’ve watched for this site. I hated every second of it, I frowned throughout its entire 81 minute runtime (which felt more like 881 minutes), and seriously considered doing something I’ve never ever done in the history of ANALOG SCUM: giving up on a movie. Turning it off and never looking back. But I plowed through for you, my dear Scumbags. I’m not going to say it was worth it, because it wasn’t. So, if nothing else, take this review as a dire warning. Stay away.

We open in space. The music and the narration blatantly rips off Star Trek. I suppose this was supposed to be “charming.” A spaceship lands in the Picadilly Circus section of London. It looks like a silver pinball. It lands in a puddle, to the consternation of the commander. Then it lands in another puddle, because comedy. They refer to Earth as “Dom” and call all earthlings “Doms,” please don’t ask me why. They send out one of their own, named the Surveyor, who takes the form of a nekkid blonde buh-buh-buh-baaaaaabe. The Surveyor wanders around in the nude for awhile, and ends up at some seedy massage parlor where everyone else is nude as well. Two of the ladies who work there assume that her clothes have been stolen, I’m not sure how, because the Surveyor just stands there, totally mute and dead-eyed. The entire film, she and the commander on the ship are communicating telepathically, because it’s cheaper to make a movie where you record most of the dialogue in post. The Surveyor has the most comical German accent you’ve ever heard, she almost sounds like Elmer Fudd. Anyway, the ladies give her some clothes and a five pound note and tell her to beat feet, so she does.

She wanders around the Soho district, which was basically London’s equivalent to 42nd Street at the time, nothing but porno theaters and dirty magazine shops. For some reason, she’s able to talk now, because whatever. From here the movie establishes its tedious formula: she just walks around, reporting back to the ship in voiceover about what she’s seeing, and of course she doesn’t understand anything, so it’s sooooooooo hilarious. Every time she encounters a man, that man inevitably reacts with wild gesticulations and facial contortions straight out of a Tex Avery cartoon, as if they’ve never seen a woman before. It is exhausting. These old pervs make Don Knotts look like Daniel Day-Lewis. Eventually she meets a charming dressmaker (speaking of Daniel Day-Lewis…) who takes her in, solely because he’s a Good Samaritan, either that or he’s totally oblivious to the obvious signs that the Surveyor wants to engage in “refueling,” which is what she calls sex, and please kill me now.

The bulk of the movie is dedicated to a long sequence involving a lecherous old creep who picks her up at a wedding she’s crashed (don’t ask). They go to a strip club, where she drinks alcohol for the first time, and it turns her skin green, and her hair into an afro. He understandably freaks out, but then HE gets kicked out of the strip club, not the lifeless automaton who has suddenly turned a different color. No one seems to notice THAT. Apparently that wasn’t a deal breaker though, because they end up back at his place anyway. His flat is full of balloons, because he’s freak nasty. Were the makers of HBO’s Real Sex out there somewhere taking notes? Anyway, he’s like, you’re so dumb and weird that you must be a virgin, so let’s do this damn thing. But before they can, the commander puts up some kind of force field around her, so when he tries to slip it in, he gets shocked so bad he’s thrown across the room. He blames this on a “Japanese sex toy,” even though a minute ago he thought that she was a virgin. So he tries again, and of course it happens again, only this time he blames it on “women’s lib.” Again, please kill me now.

Some more stupid shit happens, and eventually she’s arrested for trying to steal a baby, because she was trying to figure out it it was “a deformed dwarf” or “a deformed midget.” Please make it stop. In the jail, a wacky German doctor tries to take her pulse, but of course she has none because she’s an alien or whatever, so the doctor goes apeshit and is screeching about how she’s about to die and tries to give her CPR, but the guards walk in and think that he’s sexually assaulting her, aren’t mistakes like this just the height of comedy? Anyway, the handsome dressmaker bails her out for some reason. Oh hell, I’ll tell you why: so they can fuck.

This is what the whole movie has been leading up to: because of the incident with the German doctor, the commander gives the Surveyor human feelings, which in this movie just means that she becomes uncontrollably horny. She keeps dropping, not even hints, just straight up propositions to this handsome dressmaker, but he’s totally oblivious, even when she invites him to take a bath with her. He thinks she wants him to cook her some eggs, because misunderstandings are hilaaaaaaaarious. So basically the last fifteen minutes of the movie are her totally naked and writhing around in pleasure before she and this dumb dumb finally do the deed, and the entire time the commander is like, hey stop that, this isn’t part of the mission, I’m a big dorky nerd who hates sex, and it goes on and on and on and on until finally the movie ends. Hallelujah.

So, in the spirit of judging a movie based solely on its merits, fuck Girl From Starship Venus. Fuck it straight into the sun. I despise this movie. The comedy is horrendous; I got more laughs out of Breaking the Waves. The acting is appalling; nothing but obnoxious over the top mugging mixed with dead eyed stares. Yes, there is a lot of nudity, but it’s almost impossible to enjoy with that grating, nerd-ass voiceover droning on endlessly on top of it. The music…actually isn’t bad. It’s on the fun side of cheesy. OK, so that’s one thing. Anyway, this movie has never come out on DVD or Blu-Ray. Girl From Starship Venus only exists today as a very rare VHS, and if you ask me, that’s how it should stay. Mankind doesn’t deserve much good these days, but we certainly don’t deserve the misery that is this movie. Given the choice, I’d happily take an anal probe.

[qt-kt]

@pollypeaches tagged me to make a playlist of 10 songs that I've been listening to recently so here we go! rain in Soho - the mountain goats the squeaky wheel - the dear hunter more - sisters of mercy the high cost of dreaming in color - One gone thus the rainbow connection - the Muppets literally the entire Hunchback of Notre dame stage production soundtrack but specifically Thai Mol Piyas in memory of Satan- the mountain goats pitiful children - be more chill soundtrack I'm not the breakman- the megas keep quiet - the protomen I tag @clio-is-amused @a-rainbow-named-ally @terpsichorean-princess @jaylawheed @salty-tomatoes and anyone else who wants to do it!

[moviesandmania]

THE GORILLA GANG (1968) Reviews and overview of krimi

THE GORILLA GANG (1968) Reviews and overview of krimi

The Gorilla Gang is a 1968 West German krimi murder mystery film in which rich men are murdered for insurance money. Directed by Alfred Vohrer (The College-Girl Murders; The Hunchback of Soho; Dead Eyes of London) from a screenplay co-written with Horst Wendlandt [credited as Freddy Gregor] loosely based on a novel The Dark Eyes of London by Edgar Wallace. Produced by Horst Wendlandt. The Rialto…

[love-midnight-sunshine]

Genre: Crime, Horror, Thriller 

Language: German (Eng-Sub)

IMDb Ratings: 6.0/10

Quality: 1080p Bluray

Movie Size: 1.71GB

Director: Alfred Vohrer

Movie Cast: Günther Stoll, Pinkas Braun, Monika Peitsch

Sypnosis: A woman is kidnapped and her identity is stolen by criminals attempting to collect her inheritance.

[ozu-teapot]

Der Bucklige von Soho | Alfred Vohrer | 1966

Hilde Sessak, Ilse Pagé, Susanne Hsiao, Jutta Simon