#The Evil Cookie Publishing

[jfolschinsky]

Chicago Book Review Gave Hell Inc A Pretty Good Review

Chicago Book Review Gave Hell Inc A Pretty Good Review #evilcookiepublishing #horror #horrorfiction #horrorcomedy #bizarro

Hell, Incorporated (Jeff Folschinsky Series)

[stabbyfoxandrew]

you know what's fucking insane though???

it's only been 3 days in the mafia front fic. THREE DAYS= ~34k. (so far, we're still on day three rn)

wow i'm truly insane. three days... mein gott

(potential spoilers for this fic in tags???)

[rosedpetal]

A Good Father

Summary: Ransom shows his family he knows how to take care of his own kid.

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Reader (as his baby mamma)

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: none

Author's note: this is a repost.

Masterlist

If years ago someone ever told Ransom that he'd get married and have children, he'd laugh in their faces. Whenever anyone in his family brought the topic of him settling down, he would leave the table and curse at them.

Until you came in the picture.

He was having the worst day ever, and he desperately needed a cookie. So, he went to the grocery store and was about to pick the last package left of his favorite cookies on the aisle, when you swayed your damned hips and got the package first.

Ransom was livid. He threw the most embarrassing tantrum ever, threatening to call security on you and ruin your life, but you just laughed at his face and asked if he wanted to share. Share! How dared you?

So, you bought the cookies and gave him half. After the first bite, his mood improved and he actually asked you out on a date. It was the best night of his life.

Five years later, you were married and had a baby. You moved to a nice house in a quiet neighborhood, and even adopted a stray dog (well, he just got home from work one day and the puppy was chewing on one of his expensive shoes, while you had the widest grin he ever saw on someone's face).

Ransom loved you with all his heart. And when you gave birth to your baby daughter, he loved her beyond words.

But right now, you were set on making him miserable.

"I'm not talking about this again, Hugh." You pointed your finger at him and he flinched. You never called him by his name. "You're going and you're taking Lily with you. Her nanny is sick, and I have to work."

"But babe-"

"Not. Another. Word." You gave him one of your deadly stares, and he actually felt sorry for Lily having such a scary mother. After petting your dog's fur, you turned to Lily on the highchair and peppered her face with kisses, while she giggled. "Mommy's gonna miss you so much baby boo, you tell me if your daddy misbehave!"

Ransom tried not to roll his eyes at you. You pecked him on the lips and he pouted. Before you left the kitchen, he called you:

"Babe, don't forget your jacket. It might get cold."

You smiled at him. You knew he was upset for having to take Lily to his family's horrible get-together.

After your car left the garage, he looked at his chubby baby, wondering if he'd succeed in shielding her from the evil of his family.

Things change after having your first child. First, Ransom started saving money. No more shopping sprees for him. Then, he actually tried to get his own thing, in which he failed miserably. Seeing his struggle, his good old grandad secured him with the ownership of their publishing company (for Walt's despair). The only catch: he'd have to show to family meetings at least until Harlan Thrombey's death. 

Which was how he was stuck in this mess in the first place. 

Ransom was not stupid. He could handle these annoying game nights, dinners and whatever by provoking everyone and leaving after setting the mood for a big fight.

But bringing his baby with him?

Big no.

Well, you shared his opinion on this. You two would avoid having Lily in their company as best as you could, but some things couldn't be helped.

Your trusted nanny called in sick, and you couldn't bring Lily to work.

Ransom wanted to cry. 

He took the fussing Lily out of the baby seat and struggled to put her in the carrier attached to his front, got her pink bag on his shoulder and closed the door of the car with his feet (how you managed to do all these things so gracefully were beyond him). He got on the front porch of Harlan's home and wanted to scream. What the hell was his great-grandmother doing there, sitting alone on that chilly afternoon, with such a thin blanket covering her?

"Hey Nana, why don't we go drink some tea inside?" He offered. The small old woman nodded, in a way he new she didn't actually acknowledged him.

Fuck his family for treating Nana like she was something disposable.

Ransom took Nana's small hand on his and carried her to an armchair in the living room, where Fran was serving tea to Harlan.

Before Ransom could even say "hi" his grandfather was already up and speaking in his "baby" voice with Lily. His daughter giggled, showing her cute teeny tiny new teeth.

It was fucking cute, but the days of Lily's teething made Ransom and Y/N traumatized.

"Hi to you too, granddad." Ransom rolled his eyes, sitting across his grandfather's seat.

"Tea?" Fran offered Ransom. He thanked her, an habit you made him build. Saying "thanks", and "please", things his parents didn't bother to teach him. He wanted Lily to be better than him, and by that, he had to make himself better than whatever he was.

The first time Ransom apologized to Fran, the woman was so shocked that she broke in a fit of hysterical laughter, while Marta just blinked like she was imagining things.

Ransom took a walk with Lily still safely attached to his chest. He didn't want to admit it, but she was getting heavier and harder to carry all the times. God, after five minutes he needed to sit down on a wooden trunk to recover.

Feeling like his breath was coming to normal again, Ransom went back to the house, noticing that there were more cars parked there.

Here comes the shit show.

At the dining table, Richard's voice mixed with Walt's, like they were competing on who would talk louder. Linda absently smoked a cigarette, promptly ignoring Joni. Jacob and Meg where fighting over politics or some shit, and Donna was on her phone.

A miserable-looking Marta sat between Fran and Nana on the small couch on the corner.

And Harlan ignored the rest of them, with a glass of whiskey dancing in his hand.

"Oh, there he is! And look who is here too!" Linda beamed, putting out the cigarette. 

Ransom grimaced when his mother's nicotine smelling hand brushed against his daughter's face. Lily was so calmed before, and it broke his heart when she started crying her lungs out, like she wanted to be away from Linda's greedy presence.

Lily's crying made everyone shut up. She was born eight months ago, and they saw her only once, when Ransom and Y/N took her to Harlan's when she was a newborn. Linda and Richard tried to visit Ransom's house a few times, but they quickly grew bored of the grandparents role.

Joni, Donna and Walt couldn't really care less for baby Drysdale. Meg tried to be as nice as she could with Lily, but she was terrified of babies. As for Jacob, Ransom didn't want that little creep close to his daughter.

"Oh, Ransom, is she hungry or something?" Linda grimaced at Lily's screams. 

No, mother, she's upset because she hates you. Ransom wanted to yell at Linda's face, but he just took Lily in his arms and rocked her gently, kissing her sweaty temple and running his thumb over her tears.

"Shh, love. 'S okay, daddy's here for you. My brave little girl, everything's gonna be alright, I'm here for you." Ransom whispered gently to Lily.

Linda gulped, suddenly feeling her eyes watering. She wondered if she could go back she'd be a better mother. She doesn't remember ever holding Ransom like that, not even when he was a baby. She didn't even breastfeed him, and she and Richard never woke up in the middle of night to soothe Ransom's cries. Not when they had nannies for that. Not when they could buy their way of not giving him their time or affection.

"You're good with her, son." Richard cleared his throat, feeling the same guilt wash over him.

"Of course I'm good with my own daughter." Ransom scoffed, still rocking Lily in his arms. He lowered his head to her. "There you go, baby. Wanna hang out with auntie Marta while daddy spend some time with these assholes? Huh?"

Marta smiled a little at the snarky remark, and Ransom passed Lily to her, who was already making grabby hands for Marta.

Of course she likes the immigrant nurse, Linda bitterly thought.

"Wow, that was so cute, Ransom!" Meg complimented. "You make me think even I could be a good parent! No offense, of course."

"None taken, cousin. Having children is life changing if you're ever willing to have your own."

"Ohhh, I miss when Meg was that tiny. You were the cutest thing ever, baby." Joni took Meg's hand on her own. Donna and Walt's gaze strayed to Jacob, who smiled at them.

The memories of Linda, Neil and Walt's feet running in the house flooded Harlan's memory. How he missed them like that. How he missed his deceased son and wife. 

The atmosphere in the living room was way more harmonious, almost soothing. The Thrombey-Drysdale family was taken aback by Ransom's behavior. They never thought he'd be a good father.

[blushblushbear]

cashew headcanons please im so so gay for him

TIME FOR DIS NUT aka our darling little bookworm

cut cause I went on for a bit and none of it is important OOPS

okay first off since he's a college boy let's start with the fact that he has zero alcohol tolerance

like none

he'll have 2 sips of a light beer or a half a shot of malibu and he's red in the face sweating and swaying like 'oh wow, I'm really feeling it haha'

Same with coffee

anything past a normal strength cup he's VIBRATING

he doesn't have a heart condition like Nimh but give him a shot of espresso and he'll think he does

is constantly waiting for someone to ask him for book recommendations

and when they do he is sponge bob's eager face BOY IS OVER THE MOON

also he doesn't just read good books

he'll literally read anything

he ADORES trashy novels

especially if they're spicy *eyebrow wiggle*

he recognizes they aren't good but they are so wild and out of pocket like

WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S SECRETLY HIS EX'S BROTHER AND ALSO HIS STEP MOM'S LOVER AND DATING HIS EVIL SECRET HALF COUSIN WHOSE TRYING TO KILL THEIR UNCLE AND HIS DAD BUT CAUGHT FEELINGS AND IS NOW PLOTTING TO TAKE HIM HOSTAGE ////WHAT?!////

he'd love shows like gossip girl and pretty little liars if they were BOOKS instead

except OOPS they are actually and he'd love to infodump about that little fact to me if I let him (at least I think they both are?? I know pretty little liars is-- THAT PLOT IS /NUTS/)

honestly he loves when things are written well but he also loves when plots are NUTS

the only kind of nuts he can have

well... second kind

he'd be a secret college slut (respectfully and also def not actually a secret) if he wasn't head over heels for you

now he's just in your dms/texts constantly

his family is just as quiet and mousey as he is

everyone is just as nerdy

though his dad doesn't read as much-- he's more tv and movies and games nerd

he gets his love of books from his mom's side

he'd KILL to be a librarian

or work at a bookstore

English major vibes

but not just vibes that actually is his major lol

has def had a crush on 3 different librarians growing up and 1 creative writing teacher

can't math for shit

his favorite parts of campus friends taking him on nights out is him getting to read in little corners he can find and the 3am breakfasts at the local diner

I've talked about this before but him Nimh and Poe are in a book club together

he thinks Nimh is the coolest cause he's a PA for a publisher

can read a harry potter length book series in an afternoon (also hates terfs <3 )

his favorite genres are romance of any kind but he does have a special fondness for the trashier romances, fantasy, and he does love a mystery but mostly cause he can never see the twists coming

the smartest idiot you'll ever meet

or maybe he's the dumbest smart guy???

either way he is both very clever and very simple all at once

also very well meaning

incapable of wrong

only of oops

(a lot of oops actually, he's kinda clumsy)

once went a whole day without eating cause someone recommended a new series and he LIKED IT VERY MUCH

I wish for the life of me I could remember ANY book series atm

I know of a few by like--- vaguely what they're about but I can't remember their names

he could though

he will spend whole dates telling you the plot of a book series in great detail

loves pets

not great with them

also low key allergic to a few

big rip cause he loves cuddles

cries over a cat at a distance while sniffing

also really likes birds

met a few birds as a squirrel and now he knows Poe who was a bird so like--

birds are buds of his

can't say no to something cute

cute eraser, cute pen, cute notebook, cute cookie, cute you

just can't refuse cute

would totally rock a cottage core vibe if he could manage to keep a plant alive

he lost his ficus Marcel and he's still low key getting over it

uses a wallet sized photo of you as a book mark

def has you or a pic of you and him as a lock screen

the home screen is a pic of a page of a book

is very good at those 'name the book this opening line is from' challenge

good omens, both the book and the show, WRECKED HIM

actually good omens was his fav book to screen adaption thus far

he has a few others but he's more excited about good omens

wants to be friends with Aziraphale

I could ramble on forever but I think I'll end it here

loves that hack where you put cheese on ramen

[ringo-ichigo]

James, STOP

James Somerton is trying to apologize again. First, James, CLOSEUPS ARE NOT THE RIGHT FRAMING FOR THIS "APOLOGY." Back that shit up to show your shoulders! This close is uncomfortable! One of the first things you learn for film is that extended closeups are uncomfortable for everyone! For the love of all the Muses, your saturation and lighting are terrible! Why is the focus off?! Also, also, finally on petty shit, why do your glasses frames have an etching on them that catches the light in such a weird way?! It's distracting!

Second, sir, sir, what is all this irrelevant bs?! Great, you explained why there was a huge spat with Jessie Gender. Most of it could have been cut down or just left at "I shouldn't have been as opaque about the situation." This was long winded and frankly not the real issue we have.

Third, sir, "getting permission" for the Evil Queens video... you got that after it was published and you'd been caught plagiarizing it. Let's correct that timeline error. Additionally, NO ONE CARES THAT YOU GOT PERMISSION FOR THE EXTRA COOKIE AFTER YOU ALREADY TOOK AND ATE THE COOKIE. YOU DON'T GET PERMISSION AFTER THE FACT.

Fourth, again, this wasn't "oops I cited it wrong" or "didn't credit properly." I will grant you actually fucking said the word plagiarism this time, but like... sir, you went to college. You had to learn how to cite sources. And frankly, you're not being held to college standards so like, get thee to fucking citationmachine and start a-plopping your sources in there. Boom done.

Five, why did you monetize this? No, I don't care that it's "for the people I plagiarized." Rule number one of youtube apologies: do not monetize your apology. It doesn't matter what excuse you make for it, it is... as the boys and girls and everyone in between say, a bad look.

I'm barely into watching this other reaction and I already want to yeet a table at this man. And for the record, I'm dealing with my lovely genetics' propensity for pain and still low key recovering from the stomach bug. I am pretty goddamn low on energy right now and I still have enough rage to fuel this.

[woneuntonzz]

𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅ welcome to...

𝚗𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚋𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚍 .☘︎ ݁˖

(!!) waitlisted — on progress — published

˙⋆✮ 𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙚𝙯

seonghwa

𐙚 my pacific » seonghwa x reader (Pacific Rim inspired fic) | Thirteen years after losing his co-pilot, Park Seonghwa returns to Dawn Facility to fulfill his promise of becoming a hero. To save the world, he finds a new co-pilot, and their bond grows rapidly.

hongjoong

𐙚 coming soon!

yunho

𐙚 coming soon!

yeosang

𐙚 coming soon!

san

𐙚 coming soon!

mingi

𐙚 tough cookie » mingi x reader (fantasy au) | In a mystical society's lore, all magic originates from the White Diamond, granted to the world by the first sorcerers known as the Keepers. Now, an evil force seeks its power, overpowering the Keepers. As a retired figure of high power, it falls upon you to combat this evil and await the prophesied hero, the world's savior.

wooyoung

𐙚 coming soon!

jongho

𐙚 coming soon!

ot8 .ᐟ

𐙚 like a thunder » ATEEZ as author's fav songs ; short story compilation | part 1 — part 2

˙⋆ other

𐙚 hypothesis » san x named!reader x wooyoung ; smau | wherein you're grouped with two fairly known students for a group thesis, yes, just the three of you.

[queen-dahlia]

𝐆𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐯𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧

𝗠𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗥𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟰 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗶𝘂𝗺

Note: Translation is not 100% accurate. Expect grammatical errors.

// : alternate translation | ⫘⫘ : flashback

I knocked on the door of Prince Gilbert's guest room with a determination that I had gathered from all my resolve.

The owner of the room came out immediately.

Gilbert: "… I never thought the little rabbit would come to visit me in the middle of the night."   //   "… I didn't expect a visit from the little rabbit in the middle of the night."

Gilbert: "Maybe you're a night crawler?"

Emma: "No."

(… I can smell the soapy scent of roses. Maybe he's just had a bath...)

His obsidian black hair is slightly damp, and his skin is glowing through his shirt.

The sight was sexy enough to make me gawk at him.

(I knew I shouldn't have come here in the middle of the night.)

(But I can't turn back now... I'll be too mopey to sleep if I don't do anything…)

Emma: "May I have a moment of your time?"

Gilbert: "Not just a little, but as much as you want."

Prince Gilbert opens the door wide for me, but I shake my head.

Instead, I pushed the tea cart in front of me.

Emma: "I wanted to give this to you."

Gilbert: ". . . . . ."

On top of the tea cart was a pile of cookies that even I, who had prepared them, thought were spectacular.

There are probably more than 100 cookies that I made in the kitchen without thinking.

Prince Gilbert froze for a moment with a widened red eye.

Emma: "... Perhaps you don't like sweets?"

(I was wondering if he likes to eat because he eats ridiculous amounts of food for breakfast…)

Maybe it wasn't just anything as long as it was food.

Gilbert: "What's this?"

Emma: "Thank you."

Gilbert: "Huh?"

Emma: "If I've gone the extra mile, I'll take it back."

As I tried to get the tea cart back, a cane blocked my path.

Gilbert: "You must have the guts to take back what you gave me, don't you?"

Emma: "… So, do you want it?"

Gilbert: "Of course. I was just getting hungry."

Without hesitation, Prince Gilbert reaches out for the cookie and tosses it into his mouth.

The expression on his face was so innocent that the name "Trampling Beast" was not appropriate.

(… I didn't expect you to be so happy.)

(I was confused, but I'm glad I made it.)

Emma: "Thank you very much for protecting me today."

Emma: "… Then—"

Gilbert: "Hey, little rabbit, you like tea, right?"

Emma: "Um…"

Gilbert: "... Right?"

Emma: "… Yes."

Gilbert: "Then wait for me in my room."

Emma: "No, as I said, I'm not going—"

Gilbert: "Wait for me... okay?"

Emma: "…… Okay."

Prince Gilbert pushes the tea cart back and pulls me into the guest room.

Meanwhile, the owner of the room left somewhere in a good mood.

(W-What should I do?)

I shrink into a corner of the room and stand there, but there is no sign that he will be back anytime soon.

When I looked around the room with nothing to do, what caught my eye was a black book on the table.

(That's…)

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Gilbert: "Oh...is this the book you've been into lately?"

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

(… Prince Gilbert reads it too.)

Standing in front of a table, I look down at a book with gold lettering on a black background.

The book, which is also on the shelf of the bookstore, was given to me one day by the owner, who traveled around the world.

I don't know where it was published, but it seems to be the work of an up-and-coming author.

It is characterized by a realistic story in which the bargaining in the imperial court is depicted in detail.

(I don't think I want to read it again and again because the darkness in people's hearts is depicted so realistically…)

(A heroine who sticks to her virtuous convictions no matter what kind of scheming she encounters.)

The strength to face the mighty evil with a pure and innocent heart—

It's very different from me, who cowers in front of Prince Gilbert.

(… Oh, if you look closely, this book is a sequel!)

???: "You can keep it."

Emma: "!?"

A cold breath touches my ear, and I jump.

Reflexively turning around, I saw his refreshing smile.

Gilbert: "You always wanted to read it, right?"

(I'm getting less and less surprised that Prince Gilbert knows about me.)

Emma: "Are you sure?"

Gilbert: "Of course. That's a very popular book in my country."

Emma: "I see... you mean this book was from Obsidian!?"

Gilbert: "Yep. You didn't know?"

Emma: "Yeah… I never thought there was a book from Obsidian here in Rhodolite…"

Gilbert: "Rhodolite forbids imports from Obsidian."

Gilbert: "But books aren't a restricted item. They're just hard to get, so it's not illegal for them to be out there."

(... That's good.)

Shrugging his shoulders, Prince Gilbert begins to lay out the tea set on the table.

(I was distracted by the book...)

Emma: "Were you going to get it?"

Gilbert: "Yes, tea goes with sweets, doesn't it?"

(Oh shit. I didn't think that far ahead.)

Emma: "I'm sorry! I'll make it for—"

Gilbert: "Don't worry, I won't poison you."

Emma: "That's not the point!"

Judging from the two teacups, it seems that there is one for me as well.

(I can't believe I let a prince of a great country prepare tea for me...!)

Emma: "If I can't help you, I'll call one of the servants..."

Gilbert: "Oh, I hate being taken care of by others."

Gilbert: "So much so that I didn't bring any servants from Obsidian."

(… It's unusual, even though he is a member of the royal family.)

Without regard to my fidgeting, Prince Gilbert proceeded with his preparations with great dexterity.

Without any way to help, I found myself with a cup of sweet-smelling tea for two.

(When this happens, I have no choice but to do what I can to help.)

To at least make amends, I placed the cookies on the table.

And before I knew it, our tea party had begun.

Prince Gilbert sat on the sofa and gestured for me to come sit next to him.

Gilbert: "Go ahead."

Emma: "...Thank you."

Sitting as far away as possible, Prince Gilbert sips his tea.

I also took a sip to relieve my nerves and was surprised.

Emma: "It's delicious..."

Gilbert: "I drink too, so why would I serve something that tastes bad?"

(Prince Gilbert really is a man of many talents.)

Gilbert: "So...?"

Emma: "Yes…?"

Gilbert: "What's with the sudden change of heart? You looked at me with such contempt when we parted."

(Yes... maybe.)

I didn't despise him, but I was wary of him.

This is because I was terrified by the way he did not see people as humans, and I closed the door tightly on my heart.

Emma: "...I just don't want to be a person who can't even say 'thank you'."

Emma: "Even if the other party is a prince of an enemy country, even if he doesn't see people as humans."

Emma: "That's not a good reason to lack civility."

Gilbert: "There is no civility in a beast, is there?"

Emma: "... I guess you could say that."

(I think it is true that this one is a beast.)

(But still... it's a "person".)

I try very hard to tell him the obvious.

(... If I treat Prince Gilbert as a beast, I will always be afraid of him.)

(I'm going to hate myself if it stays that way.)

It's no wonder I can't maintain a minimum level of respect for him because he's a prince of an enemy country.

In a sense, it is synonymous with the unreasonableness that "those with status have the right to do as they please with those below them."

(I won't throw caution to the wind, but that doesn't mean I want to be afraid of everything.)

(Because as long as I don't treat him as a "person," Prince Gilbert will never treat me as a "person" either.)

Emma: "This thank you is just self-satisfaction. It felt good to be able to tell you."

Emma: "I think I'll sleep better tonight."

I keep all my thoughts to myself and take another sip of tea.

Feeling the taste more intense than before may be a sign of a hungry stomach.

Gilbert: "I feel good, too. It doesn't hurt to be thanked."

Gilbert: "Even to the point that I would be willing to protect you as long as you are in this castle."

Emma: "… I'm sorry, I can't be honestly happy to hear that."

Gilbert: "Hmm..."

Prince Gilbert places his teacup on the table and closes the distance between us.

Gilbert: "By the way, how come we haven't made eye contact since a while ago?"

Emma: "...! That's not..."

(I was deceiving him, but he noticed!?)

The tea in the cup shakes, and the agitation shows.

Gilbert: "I wonder if there's something I'm unaware of."

Emma: "Uh... no."

Gilbert: "Then look at me."

Emma: ". . . . . ."

Gilbert: "Hey?"

Emma: ". . . . . ."

(I can't say that Prince Gilbert is so sexy after his bath that I can't look at him directly...)

I looked up fearfully, unable to bear the pressure and silence…

His cold palms cupped my cheeks and forced my face to stay in place.

(Ah…)

His red eye looms in front of me, and I hold my breath.

Emma: "Please don't!"

Gilbert: "Ahaha, what are you talking about?"

Gilbert: "Isn't it rude to look away from a distinguished guest?"

Emma: "Maybe so, but..."

Gilbert: "Then you know what you have to do, don't you?"

(I wonder… if this person enjoys pestering me.)

I don't know what the significance of this act by Prince Gilbert is.

Suppressing my thoughts and emotions as much as possible, I continue to gaze into his red eye.

(Ah…)

(...I always thought they were blood-colored eyes, but when I looked closer—)

Emma: "It's... crystal clear."

Gilbert: "Hm?"

Emma: "I just realized that Prince Gilbert's eyes... are more like jewels than the color of blood."

(Beautiful... maybe) 

Gilbert: "Are you hitting on me?"

Emma: "... I'm not hitting on you."

Gilbert: "I can't believe the little rabbit is hitting on me."

Emma: "I'm not hitting on you!"

Gilbert: "I'm so happy... Please hit on me more?"   //   "I'm so happy... Please seduce me more?"

Emma: "Absolutely not!"

(I was careless!)

Prince Gilbert, smiling as freshly as the blue summer sky, presses his forehead against mine.

As expected, my heart skipped a beat in surprise.

Gilbert: "Are you less afraid of me now?"

Emma: "Eh…"

Gilbert: "Even with all this, I still want to get to know you."

(... "Make eye contact", that's what he was trying to do...)

The glimpse I caught of his face was so sincere that I was momentarily speechless.

When I was stunned, Prince Gilbert let go of my face, lifted my hand, and—

Emma: "Ouch…"

He bit me on the finger, and I frowned as hard as I could.

Emma: "Prince Gilbert!?"

Gilbert: "It made me happy, so I returned the favor."

Emma: "Why did you bite me?"

Gilbert: "It's my way of expressing my affection."

(I'm not happy at all...)

When I pulled my hand back in alarm, Prince Gilbert laughed, and his shoulders shook.

(... But it's strange. I'm not as scared as I was when I was bitten before—)

Gilbert: "By the way, didn't my prediction come true?"

Emma: "Prediction...?"

Emma: ". . . . . ."

(Speaking of...)

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

Gilbert: "Maybe by the end of the day, you'll thank me."

Gilbert: "Thank you for protecting me, Prince Gilbert."

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

(—Wait, so it's...)

Emma: "... You mean you had it all figured out?"

Emma: "Everything up until this moment when I visit your room."

I wanted him to deny it, but Prince Gilbert shook his head.

Gilbert: "You are a kind-hearted girl, you know. I knew you would come to me with a guilty conscience."

Gilbert: "The cookies were indeed unexpected, but other than that."

Emma: ". . . . . ."

(He read my every move and rolled it in the palm of his hand.)

(Prince Chevalier's foresight is excellent, but Prince Gilbert's is on the same level as his.)

Gilbert: "Think about it, little rabbit."

Gilbert: "If I had seen it all coming, even you coming to the room..."

Gilbert: "You know I'm the one who put you in this situation, right?"

Face him as a person.

Overcome the fear.

I should have made up my mind to do so, but then a cold sweat broke out on my cheeks.

Emma: "You said you wanted to be friends with me—"

Gilbert: "Yes, I want us to get along. So…"

Gilbert: "I won't let you out of my room tonight."

[rrawrrxd]

here have a freaky redacted x nate drawing and buncha nate headcanons/bits of characterisation

•he came up with ydkj in the first place, founder of jellyvision

•as per 1995 hes being a big dork about it

•not very good at running the company though, mostly slacks off

•wanted cookie to host ydkj vol. 1, but publishers liked his demo voice-over

•since 1998 hes not a dork anymore. very chill. (still a dork just better at hiding it)

•panicked when he first started getting white hairs, now thinks it makes him look cool

•doesn't have an all-time job or an apartment. lives in his office, with cookie, or the person hes currently dating

•has a big tie collection

•also had an entire closet of different hawaiian tees, but gifted em all to buzz

•lived with buzz for a period of time in 2000. they parted ways not on a very good note.

•parties a lot, gets drunk or high as a coping mechanism

•in 2014 comes up with jackbox party pack and finally gets a job!

•god awful sleep schedule

•2018 wasn't a good year for him. everyone who was close to him now are either controlled by an evil ai, gone from his life, or both. hes constantly high—he is not coping well.

•bonded with redacted on the basis of shared paranoia :) :) :)

•rarely leaves his office, wich is now the anti-binjpipe alliance headquarters (the anti-binjpipe alliance consists of him and redacted)

•wears the same shirt he got 20 years ago

[writelikethrollope]

Writing Share Tag

Thank you @aintgonnatakethis for the tag!

When Amber opened the door she couldn't have been more surprised: outisde, with a black t-shirt and short jeans, stood a girl around ten years of age. Maybe, the witch thought, it was already time for the scout girls' annual cookie campaign. The kid smiled a fully-teethed smile. - Hi! I'm looking for the old, evil witch that lives in the woods! Is this her house? - Amber was horrified. Firstly, she was only 30 years old which, she thought, hardly qualified her as "old." And more importantly, she was not evil. A little wicked sometimes, yes, when for example she poured Newt's eye in Sarah Mason beauty tonic. But Sarah was a bully and her revenge, though petty, was well deserved.

I found a couple paragraph of something I was writing last year and 1. i didn't remember writing this but I found the overall story funny and 2. it seemed to me that it was much much longer since I had written anything so I felt kinda better about myself. Also I had still never published anything I wrote here so this is a nice excuse :D

Tagging (no pressure, no stress): @leitereads ; @renasdoodles ; @mjparkerwriting ; @xenascribbles ; @thedeerwight

[little-pup-prince]

Albert Wesker as a caregiver

♡ . . . . ♡ . . . . ♡

he thinks youre the only good thing that ever happened to him and will protect and cherish you a way that is unmatched

would really like you to live with him but if you cant or dont yet want to he is the most patient man alive

will answer your texts usually the moment you send them

and will listen to your voicemails and watch the pictures and videos you send him like a live feed/ podcast, no matter when or where

he has kids activity books in his car for you and you can watch movies there or listen and sing along so songs together while travelling

he definitely has a chaffeur but if youd like for only the two of you to be there, he can surely handle the driving

will buy you any toys you had but growing up lost somewhere or gave away if you would like

reminds you that while his favors of this nature are basically without limit you shouldnt compete with other kids on the size or worth of your toys because what really matters and will bring closure is how much you love them and take care of them

the comfiest, finest clothes for his baby only > he will love if you dress all colourful or if you choose monochrome clothes as well, as in one it just shows how you complete him and have all that purity he admires and will protect no matter what or you dress like him and he always appreciates a less-evil, mini him who is full of curiousity and wants to know everything about the world

would love to watch science shows made for kids and try out the experiments

if you are up to it he can show you one with similar mechanisms in bigger (only if you feel brave enough and you can hold his hand, as these ones can be scary)

also animal documentaries (that he totally checks beforehand to be totally safe for you), and later you can recreate the scenes either playing with plushies or with play-pretend as the animals yourselves

any cartoon or series you like he will watch

will have you cuddled up and probably you fall asleep on him very often. then he gently carries you to your bed

im sure he has t-shirts and hoodies from all the places he worked for. you can wear them of course as he really has no desire parading in something meant to show loyalty to the names on them. you can ask all about the different jobs he had and he will gladly tell you some funny stories from there

he definitely has a pool and a separate jacuzzi you can play in

probably made a bedroom and a playroom just for you in his home

downloaded games on his phone just for you, but you have your own as well

will read you any bedtime stories you want. the book was never published in english? no problem he will have it translated and printed so it will resemble to the one you had in days

will learn your native language if it isnt english and try his best to pronounce any terms of endearment you like to be called

goes easy on house rules occasionally, which is really a happy moment for you, and you can sleep on the couch and watch tv a little longer into the night

wont have rules on what you eat as he knows well relationship with food is different for everyone, but will offer you to make it into cute shapes and serve it to you on a kids plate or tray with patterns of your favourite cartoon on them

you can be as energetic around him as possible, him being infected with ouroboros protects him from everything

you are of course always safe from everything he works with, his lab at home too is secured, you cant accidentally wander in there

he understands if you dont like the outdoors or have special triggers and is very attentive of those

he decorates the fridge with your drawings and colored pages but he prefers them to be framed and put elsewhere as the kitchen can be a messy place

you can help him cook if you'd like. lets you eat a little of the raw cookie dough because he works with only the safest and best ingredients

which means he can get you anything you may miss in the country he is currently living in

helps you study if its what you do in little space

will help with little activities as well. carry boxes or toys for you that you find heavy or too far to move yourself, especially if youre very focused

will never question your choice of colours on a drawing or the way things you crafted are. if youd like to, you can tell him all about the idea behind them and he will listen intently and will tell you if its something he saw in fine art as well - he is always amazed when his little imitates something like that

will play with you if the game you like has co-op or multiplayer mode if you invite him

cheers on you and lets you progress in your own pace. (he probably played it before, if not read the guide so he can help immediately if you are lost and of course not to make the game accidentally progress)

[darkelfchicksick]

One year of Femslash "Blood"

365 days ago we published the groundbreaking EverQuest 2-based fanwork entitled "Blood" - an investigation of how baking malicious cookies for evil church can lead to gay sex with your evil church leader.

You haven't heard of Blood? That's because EverQuest 2 is the greatest MMO that never was, forever doomed by an early WoW release date and a nonexistent marketing department (a proud tradition that is being carried on until this day). With our project simply titled "Femslash February," @eisbecherovka and I laid some amazing groundwork for hot, silly and necromantic girl-on-girl action in a fantasy universe that is almost (but not quite) entirely unlike the Forgotten Realms of D&D fame.

If you're curious about Blood, but unwilling to click a link quite yet, enjoy this preview about a baby-crazy cult preacher and her fun-crazy cult leader who also happens to be a dark elf.

“You don’t get it! My time is more than halfway up! If Innoruuk doesn’t deliver on this, how can I know He was real when He appeared to me when I was a child? How can I know I haven’t been wasting my life in the Dismal Rage?” “One, you’re not. Two, He will deliver. Innoruuk works in mysterious ways.” Opal slid down to crouch next to Xelha. “How often do you have sex?” Her face went pink. “Uh–about twenty times a week.” “Impressive! And it’s always–” “Yeah.” She paused. “You didn’t let me finish my question.” “Opal–” “Are you sure you’re doing it right?” “Opal, I’m not stupid.” “You would be surprised how many people mess this one up.” “We’re not messing it up.” “Prove it.”

Blood is a magnum opus of sorts - fleshing out a character who has zero backstory into an actual person with painful memories of acute fantasy COVID-19 who has the hots for untrustworthy elf MILFs, fertility issues and, last but not least, realizes she's bi in perhaps the worst way yet. Also there's the aforementioned drow MILF, so if you want to imagine our good friend Minthara in place of Ms Darkbriar, I cannot stop you.

If Blood has whetted your appetite, you're cordially invited to partake in 27 more femslash fictions that are sometimes silly, sometimes sexy, but always sincere.

[ga-yuu]

[Bite On The Finger As A Sign Of Friendship] - Gilbert Normal Story

With the determination that I have gathered and made, I knock on Prince Gilbert's room where he's staying as a guest.

The owner of the room instantly opened the door.

Gilbert: "....Little bunny, didn't think you'd come to see me in the middle of the night?"

Gilbert: "Are you perhaps secretly a night crawler?"

Emma: "Wrong!"

(....He smells like roses. Maybe he just had a bath.)

His black-glossy hair is slightly damp and his skin peeking through his shirt makes him look....hot.

The view looked so good that I cannot look away.

(I know I shouldn't have come here in the middle of the night)

(But I can't turn back now, because...I won't be able to sleep if I don't do this)

Emma: "May I have a little bit of your time?"

Gilbert: "Why little? You can stay here as much as you want."

Prince Gilbert shakes his head and opens the door wide enough for me.

I instead, pulled the rolling tray I brought along with me.

Emma: "This is for you."

Gilbert: "........"

On top row of the tray, was a plate filled with cookies that I prepared.

I made more than 100 cookies without thinking.

Prince Gilbert froze for a moment.

Emma: "....Do you not like sweets?"

(I thought you liked to eat because you had an unbelievable amount of food at breakfast...)

Maybe I was wrong and he was only eating them because he didn't want anything to go to waste.

Gilbert: "What's that for?"

Emma: "....Thank you."

Gilbert: "Hmm...?"

Emma: "Looks like I've gone the extra mile, I'm taking it back!"

As I tried to go back with the rolling tray, a cane blocked my path.

Gilbert: "Bold of you to take back the gift you brought for me."

Emma: "....So, you will take it?"

Gilbert: "Of course. I was hungry anyway."

With hesitation, Prince Gilbert picks up a cookie and puts it in his mouth.

The expression on his face seemed bright and innocent and didn't give the vibe of a Trampling Beast.

(...You look so happy)

(I was hesitant at first, but I'm glad that I came)

Emma: "Thank you very much for protecting me today."

Emma: "....Then..."

Gilbert: "Little bunny, you like tea, don't you?"

Emma: "...Umm.."

Gilbert: "You do right?"

Emma: ".....................Yes."

Gilbert: "Come inside and wait."

Emma: "No, I don't mean to interrupt your privacy..."

Gilbert: "You will come inside and wait....right?"

Emma: "................................Yes."

Prince Gilbert pulls both me and the tray inside his room.

Meanwhile, the owner of the room leaves humming happily.

(W-What should I do now?)

I stand in the corner of the room like a statue and it felt like there is no sign of him coming back anytime soon.

I looked around the room and noticed a certain black book on the table.

(That's..)

-----FLASHBACK-----

Gilbert: "Ah...Aren't you into this book lately?"

-----FLASHBACK ENDS-----

(....Even Prince Gilbert is reading it)

I stood in front of the table and looked at the black book whose title was printed in golden letters.

It was a book that was also in my bookstore, which my employer bought from traveling around the world.

I don't know where it was published, but it seems to be the work of an up-and-coming author.

The story is characterized by a realistic atmosphere in which the games played on the Court are elaborate.

(I don't think I want to read it again and again because of the realistic depiction of the darkness in people's hearts)

(It's cool to have a heroine who maintains her noble convictions no matter what kind of scheming she's subjected to)

The strength to face the mightly evil with a pure and innocent heart.

It is very different from me who cowers in front of Prince Gilbert. (At least you're doing your best!)

(....Oh, if you look closely, this is a sequel!)

???: "You can keep it if you want."

Emma: "!?"

A cold breath touches my ear and I jump.

I turned around reflexively and saw a fresh smile.

Gilbert: "You always wanted to read it, right?"

(I'm less and less surprised that Prince Gilbert can read my mind)

Emma: "Can I?"

Gilbert: "Of course. It's a popular book in my home country."

Emma: "Oh...Wait, it's from Obsidian!?"

Gilbert: "Mm. You didn't know?"

Emma: "Yes....I didn't think there would be an Obsidian book in Rhodolite."

Gilbert: "Rhodolite forbids imports from Obsidian."

Gilbert: "But books aren't a restricted item. They're just hard to get, so it's not illegal for them to be out here."

(....That's good)

Cowering my shoulders, Prince Gilbert begins to arrange the tea set on the table.

(I was so preoccupied with books, but----)

Emma: "Do you usually have tea at this time?"

Gilbert: "Yes, you can't have sweets with a nice tea, right?"(Even in his game everyone wants to have tea in the middle of the night!)

(Oh shit, I didn't think that far ahead)

Emma: "Sorry! Let me make it for you!"

Gilbert: "Don't worry. I'm not going to poison you or anything."

Emma: "That's not why I offered to help!"

He sets two teacups for both me and him.

(Having a prince of such a great nation to prepare tea for you is a little....!)

Emma: "If I can't help you, let's at least call a maid."

Gilbert: "Oh, I don't like it when other people take care of me."

Gilbert: "So much so that I didn't bring any servants from Obsidian."

(...That's really unusual for a member of a royal family)

Prince Gilbert proceeded to make the tea, ignoring me who is flustered.

Without any help, I found myself with a cup of sweet-smelling tea.

(When this happens, I have no choice but to do what I can to help)

To make amends at least, I arranged the cookies on the plate.

And before I knew it, our tea party began.

Prince Gilbert sat on the sofa and gestured towards me to come sit next to him.

Gilbert: "Come here."

Emma: ".....Thank you."

Sitting as far away as possible, Prince Gilbert sips his tea.

I also took a sip to relieve my nerves and was surprised.

Emma: "This is so good...."

Gilbert: "I'm drinking this too, so why would I serve something that tastes bad?"

(Prince Gilbert is so multi-talented)

Gilbert: "....So."

Emma: "Hm...?"

Gilbert: "What's with the sudden change of heart? Earlier this day, you looked at me with contempt when we parted."

(That's....true)

I didn't despise him, but I was wary of him.

I was terrified by the way he did not see people as humans and I closed the door to my heart tightly.

Emma: ".....I just didn't want to be someone who can't even say 'thank you."

Emma: "Even if the people you're dealing with is a prince of an enemy country, even if he doesn't see people as humans....."

Emma: "That's not a good reason to be disrespectful."

Gilbert: "But beasts have no manner according to you, right?"

Emma: "........Well."

(I think it is true that this one is a beast)

(But even so.....he's still a human)

I try very hard to tell him the obvious.

(...If I continue treating him as a beast....I will always remain afraid of Prince Gilbert)

(I'm going to hate myself if that keeps happening)

It's no wonder I can't maintain a minimum level of respect to a prince of an enemy country.

In a sense, it is synonymous with the unreasonableness that 'those with status have the right to do as they please with those below them."

(I won't throw caution to the wind, but that doesn't mean I want to be afraid of everything)

(Because as long as I don't treat him as a 'human', even Prince Gilbert would not treat me as a 'human')

Emma: "This thank you is just for self-satisfaction. I feel good after I told you this."

Emma: "Now I think I can sleep well."

I keep all my thoughts to myself and take another sip of tea.

Perhaps it is a sign of a stronger hunger that I taste more than I did earlier.

Gilbert: "I feel good too. It doesn't hurt to hear you thank me."

Gilbert: "Enough so that I would be willing to protect you while you are in this castle."

Emma: "....I'm sorry, I don't know if I'm happy to hear that or not."

Gilbert: "Fufu...."

Prince Gilbert places his teacup on the table and closes the distance between him and me.

A cool hand rested on my cheek and my heart jumped.

Gilbert: "Are you a little less afraid of me now?"

Emma: "Mm..."

Gilbert: "Even with all this, I still want to get to know you more."

(........)

The glimpse I caught of his face was so sincere that I was momentarily speechless.

I was so stunned that Prince Gilbert lets go of my cheek and picked my hand----

Emma: "Ouch..."

He bit my fingertips and I frowned as hard as I could.

Emma: "Prince Gilbert!"

Gilbert: "I'm happy so I returned the favor."

Emma: "...Why did you bite me?"

Gilbert: "It's my way of showing affection."

(I'm not happy at all...!)

When I pull my hand back in alarm, Prince Gilbert's shoulders shake in a funny way.

(...How strange. It was scarier last time...)

Gilbert: "By the way....my prediction came true didn't it?"

Emma: "Prediction....?"

Emma: "....Ah."

(Prediction.....)

----FLASHBACK-----

Gilbert: "By the end of the day, you'll thank me."

Gibert: "You'll say, 'Thank you for protecting me, Prince Gilbert."

----FLASHBACK ENDS-----

(Wait..that means...)

Emma: "...Does that mean you saw this all coming?"

Emma: "Even to the point of me coming to your room?"

I wanted to deny it, but Prince Gilbert shakes his head.

Gilbert: "You're a kind woman. I knew you would come to me with a guilty conscience."

Gilbert: "Yeah, but I didn't expect you to bring me cookies and all though...."

Emma: "......."

(He read all my movements and I was rolling on his palm)

(....Prince Chevalier has excellent foresight, but Prince Gilbert's foresight is no joke. He's equally brilliant....)

Gilbert: "Think about it, little bunny."

Gilbert: "If I've seen it all coming...."

Gilbert: "You must know I'm the one who put you in this situation, right?"

We faced each other.

I tried to conceal my fear.

I made up my mind to do so, but still, a sweat broke out on my cheeks.

Emma: "You said you want to be friends with me..."

Gilbert: "Yes. I want to be friends with you. That's why..."

Gilbert: "I won't let you out of my room tonight."

[theressomethinghappeninginparis]

It's been a while.

Let me tell you why. I left the Croft Manor and went to Utah.

I know, it's a leap of faith I took, but it was worth it. I have retrieved knowledge and information and shared all I know with Lara Croft as well as with Mister Trent. I needed a day's rest at the Croft Manor and I felt slightly ashamed, but I am no superwoman like Lara, and my knee is still throbbing. I hope I haven't relocated anything, lol.

Transcript of the first, second and third page:

Here's a whole list of things I asked Lara Croft. She was kind enough to sit by me while I was sipping tea, moaning, and trying to recover from *points at everything*. Q: The piece of the Sanglyph I have given you, what do you know about it? A: From what I have gathered: the Sanglyph is a relic created by Eckhardt. You surely crossed paths with this psycho already. It's a disc that can be parted into five pieces. To prevent mortals from using it, he was hiding it inside the five Obscura Paintings. Q: So the paintings were his idea, too? A: He commissioned to get them painted andhid the pieces in there until his glovey-dovey hands could get onto a Nephilim. (me: the Lux Veritatis later seized them, let them be painted over by Brother Obscura, and scattered them). Q: This guy's not normal, right? A: Best actor in history. No, he's neither normal nor human. He was. With a deal he was made immortal, and the cost was reviving the Nephilim race. He's a vessel for over 500 years of evil, alchemy and hatred for humans. And the LV. Q: The Lux Veritatis were a pain in his life? A: You guessed it.They tried anything to stop him, even putting him in a ditch for several hundread years until an Ally bomb hit the castle and he could break free. The Shards were recollected by Heissturm, who gave them to his son. I think you've met him already. Q: If you mean Kurtis- yes, I've read about him. But I haven't had a chance to talk to him yet. A: In case you can offer something, he'll talk. He loves teamwork. (Lara chuckles, is that a smile?) Get the Sanglyph to him and ask him to get it here, at some point. I trust him, he'll do so. (me: I think we all know Lara Croft will not hesitate to track me down and shoot me if I were to disappear with it, so I guess...it'll do.) Q: (...) Thank you, again. What do you know about him? A: He's a tough cookie, a mercenary. Who is out for revenge. All he can think of now is to stuff Eckhardt's and his allies' faces with bullets or sever their heads. He was of great help, although I took care of Eckhardt first...anyway. He was of great help, especially in our escape out of the Louvre. Q: Speaking of Louvre- the killings in Paris and Prague. Was that Eckhardt? A: Not all of them. The murder of Werner was Karel (she looks aside). He's almost weirder than Eckhardt, I don't know much if anything about him. And, he is, you won't believe it, a shapeshifter. These Nephilim guys (she looks at me again) are a whole lot of strange. Q: (...) You mentioned the Shards... A: Kurtis knows way more. All I know is that they're way too scary to Eckhardt. You know, maybe bring him his, the one I have...he surely misses it. Q: Are you sure he wants to talk to me? Kurtis, I mean? A: If you have trouble convincing him with the Periapt Shard, just tell him (she smiles) I'd love to see him again. That'll convince him (she gets up to leave), trust me.

Transcript of the fourth page: This is all I can write in this journal. We talked a bit more, obviously, and she handed me Kurtis' contact information. He should be in Utah now, but I have his number in case I don't find him at home- it's somewhere in dumbfuck nowhere. Lara lets me stay for as long as I want and I can roam the Manor's museums (or "rooms" like Lara calls them") freely. I got a ticket to visit the USA, and am preparing a catalogue of questions for Kurtis Trent. I kind of hope he lets me write down more. In case he gets back to being a ghost he might allow me to publish more. It feels good to not be on edge all the time. Not having a maniac roam the streets is nicer than I ever imagined. I feel relief.

I'll take some rest and gather nerves and strength for the- hopefully- last trip regarding this case. I want it to be over, it's exhausting.

Transcript of the fifth and sixth page: Questions for Mister Trent: 1. What do you know about Eckhardt and what's he to do with the LV? 2. What are the Lux veritatis anyway? Why was it founded and where is everybody? 3. Your father Heissturm, is he involved? 4. How did you cross paths with Lara Croft? 5. The Periapt Shards- what are they made of? Do they really kill immortals? 6. The Nephilim are conected, just like the Sleeper. But what about the guys in the Sanitarium? 7. The guy in cell 42, know him? And the "Nephilim Proto" he mentioned?

I'm on my way to Utah. Lara was on a call fow a few hours with what I think was Kurtis, had a good laugh, and mentioned that I'll hand him something and he should leave me in one piece. Really reassuring...she handed me one of the Shards. Such a weird...thing. It is made of crystal I believe and is purple-ish black-ish depending on the light. The lionhead makes the Shard heavy to carry and I can hold it, but itfeels like it carries a weight, maybe even a metaphorical one, like there's a power stored within. Absolutely supernatural and strange. I'll try to sleep now. Miss Croft has sent me all my luggage and food, along with a return ticket and her direct contacts. She was so happy to have the piece of the Sanglyph or rather the whole thing now, but kinda happier to speak to Kurtis.

Is it her stubbornness that keeps her from visiting him herself?

Transcript of the seventh and eighth page: I literally got a map to Kurtis place. He is in the middle of nowhere. of course. I'm not kidding: Lara printed me a map I found in the folder she put my tickets in. It's more of a guide and she got me a driver to get me there. Why the fuck is Mister trent living in dumbfuck nowhere? Don't ask about the sigils, the driver could read them, but Lara didn't bother explaining.

After several hours of driving in the middle of the fucking desert and taking the wrong way once I found it. I found him. Was greeted with a gun to my face until I mentioned Lara's password-sentence: Move along, mon chère. I am still surprised he didn't shoot me on sight.

The weapons of the Lux Veritatis: Kurtis has given me a detailed description of the tools the LV have used and/or continue to use. It's surely not all of them.

Betyl (training stones) Betyl is an ancient metal that the LV shape to resemble arrowheads. Most of the time there are engravings in them and they're used as training device for the Shirugai. They have some main skills:

guide (compass)

impulse (attack)

crisscross (whatever)

pattern (uhm?)

There are also five stages of control: 1. Aronsäid 2. Gyllais 3. Tuleic 4. Ömsa 5. Veruta

And of course Mister Trent didn't bother elaborating. I guess he's too busy being excited to get the Shard and then bring it to Lara- just out of kindness with no self-interest, of course.

Shirugai Translated as throw-star. The LV have their own invention, it's a disc-like thing with five spikes on the edhe. These blades are retractable. The disk is being held by putting five fingers through the holes in the middle. A shirugai is connected to a single member of the Lux Veritatis and can only be used by them. It's controlled via telepathy and can be used within a radius.

The Betyl stones are not needed if the member has enough skills. I bit my tongue to not imply Kurtis surely needed them. The blades are so sharp they can cut through steel. Although fairly popular the shirugai has seen not much use: there's barely people left that can more than just hover it.

Transcript of the tenth page: The hut is pretty small and Kurtis seems to live here by himself. When I explained to him I was accidentally crossing paths with this whole murder plot he laughed and admired my skill to stay alive. I mentioned Miss Croft cleared the path for me, and he replied that anything that gets in her way dies, and he barely dodged that fate himself. He is a grim dude who listens to Nirvana and fits perfectly to Lara's love for Nine Inch Nails. Depeche Mode anyone? I feel like he never has visitors- his tables are full of books on mysticism and ancient history. And guns. Holy shit guns.

Not too inviting, but he answered all I wanted to know and will fly back with me to London and I will continue further to Paris. Back home. At last.

Forgive me, the rest of the interview is there, but I am so, so tired. Here is the first question: Q: What do you know about Eckhardt and what does that have to do with the LV? Eckhardt is an old-ass dude who is about 600 years old. He made a deal with the Nephilim to help them take over the world - he is a bit insane- and in return, they made him immortal (he takes a smoke). The LV always wanted to prevent evil int his world, and an alchemist that seeks for organs and organ harvest is not the good guy. After being put in chains in a castle pit an Ally bomber freed him (he looks at me and raises a brow), definitely planned, and he plotted revenge.

I will continue my notes tomorrow. It's way past midnight. I nudged a talk on Lara Croft and am listening to Mister Kurtis talk about her in admiration. I wonder. What keeps them from hanging out? Both of them shoot first and ask questions later. Perfect match if you ask me.

[just-pot-over-here]

Hello please tell me about Crutchie Spider-Man.

OOOOHOHOHOJO WE ARE GETTING FED TODAYYY BOYS

modern au. new york 2023 or whatever. the newsies know each other because they’re all regular patrons of the local community center/maker space, and some of them live in the same apartment complexes. crutchie lives with jack and katherine, who moved in together while they were dating but stayed friends and roommates when they broke up.

now crutchie’s a smart cookie, and i’m gonna steal a little from the homecoming spiderman verse and say that he managed to earn admission and a scholarship to a very prestigious private science-focused high school. (davey works there as an english teacher’s assistant while he’s in college. him and jack meet when jack drops crutchie off for school and almost plows davey down in the crosswalk with his 2004 toyota corolla)

now here’s where we get into Lore. instead of a publishing company, Joseph Pulitzer owns the biggest tech startup in NY. (think elon musk w/ tesla) and they’re making some crazy shit. katherine is his (very estranged) daughter, kind of like harry osborne except she doesnt turn evil. maybe.

crutchie’s class goes on a field trip to one of their new facilities for chemistry, where they’re experimenting with gene splicing and all sorts of stuff. and then wOaH he gets bit by a spider. he doesn’t really think anything of it until he gets home and it’s bright red and the size of a grape, but him and jack can’t afford a hospital visit so he brushes it off and just prays he won’t die in his sleep.

next morning he wakes up, BOOM he has super strength and abs and can jump really high and stick to things. i’d like to emphasize that the spider bite doesn’t fix his leg, but it does make him slightly more resistant to the pain. he still uses a crutch as a mobility aide in daily life, and he definitely can’t do any spidermanning until he makes himself a sort of exoskeleton thing to support his leg and make it easier to stand/run/land on. kind of like a big splint? and it hurts like hell getting kicked in the face by someone wearing the equivalent of carbon steel armor

i haven’t fleshed this out a Ton, but in my brain Davey is the one who finds out and is crutchie’s man in the chair. (an underrated friendship!!)

there are definitely more spiderman shenanigans in my brain but this is just some lore tysm for the ask i Needed to talk about it

[dragon-queen21]

I was tagged by the lovely @awesomedurraworld in a tag game to list the first opening lines from 10 of your fics.

I’m going to do seven from published fics and three from my upcoming fics because I can >:3 Also because I struggled with this all of my writing feels so old

1.He Doesn't Want Me (demon slayer agere fic)

“He’s not sure when his baby brother stopped seeing him as safe. Not sure when the comfort and warmth that only he could provide slowly faded, leaving him cold and empty. Not sure when that warmth once his little brother came to him for, shifted to others.”

2.A cup full of scorpion (fma fic that is just 90% Edward being a menace)

“Roy never would have guessed that raising two hell spawn children would be so difficult, and yet he was already beginning to see signs of early grey hairs and was starting to feel the beginnings of regret towards his life choices that lead him to this moment.”

3.A kit and a collar (dream smp fic)

“It was late night calls where things seemed to go for the worst or for the better. This was a bit of both.”

4.Too many days spent lying awake (hermitcraft fic)

“‘Baby…” Impulse’s voice started, impossibly soft and caring.

All Ren heard was pity.”

5.Let me watch over you now (Demon slayer + my most recent fic)

“It was embarrassing to fail at a mission. Especially one as easy as this.”

6.The cookie heist (one piece)

The goal of the afternoon was an 'impossible' task.

7.Attachment scars (Life smp)

“Scott didn’t feel any remorse upon leaving Pearl. Well maybe a little bit. Seeing Pearl’s face look so sorrowful, he had felt his own heart distantly pang in remorse, sharing in sympathy with the girl when he told her he was leaving. Maybe he felt a little bit bad, his heart ached for days after, not of his own accord but his soul mates. But she’d get over it soon enough.”

8.Spiders are evil (mha fic a bit like the one I did for fullmetal alchemist)

There was a pillow in the corner of Izuku’s room. Why was this worth mentioning? Because said pillow had a giant black spider currently crawling across it.

9.(Mob psycho fic that I am soooo close to finishing. I shared a draft of it here on tumblr so it counts)

“Ritsu’s face is downcast, looking at the rubble on the ground around him. He doesn’t want to look up. Doesn’t want to see what he’s done. What he didn’t mean to do. It was just self defense, that’s all he keeps saying to himself. He was scared and caught off guard.”

10.(One Piece color au thingy that I haven’t posted yet but still feel like sharing)

“With Shanks brought the color red. The red of far away islands, dreams, and adventures, all, waiting to be discovered. The red faded along with the ship in the distance, but not his dream. His dream had mixed into a new color, one that promised to never be forgotten as long as Luffy lived.”

Tagging @little-froglight , @juicezone and @babyminty as I know you all have writing posted :3 (if you want to join in of course)

[historyhermann]

“Amphibia” Emphasizes Chosen Families and Self-Acceptance

What if a Thai-American girl wakes up and finds herself in a world filled with talking frogs? Amphibia answers that question. Anne meets new friends, enemies, and tries to figure out her purpose in this strange world.

Reprinted from The Geekiary, my History Hermann WordPress blog (it will be published on there on Dec. 26), and Wayback Machine. This was the forty-second article I wrote for The Geekiary. This post was originally published on June 25, 2022.

Amphibia is an animated adventure-fantasy-comedy series by Matt Braly, an animator of Thai descent. He is also known for directing episodes of Gravity Falls and Big City Greens.

As a warning, this recommendation discusses spoilers for all three seasons of Amphibia.

Amphibia centers around a 13-year-old Thai-American girl, Anne Boonchuy (Brenda Song), who is transported by a music box to another world with her two best friends, Sasha Waybright (Anna Akana) and Marcy Wu (Haley Tju). In this wild land, filled with marshes and tropical environments, she meets talking frogs and other creatures, including a family of frogs named the Plantars.

This family is headed by the overbearing and traditional grandfather, Hop Pop (Bill Farmer). He has two kids-of-sorts: an excitable frog named Sprig (Justin Felbinger) and a spunky pollywog named Polly (Amanda Leighton). All of them live on a farm of their own in the close-knit town of Wartwood. As Anne bonds with the Plantars, she learns what friendship and being heroic means.

This all-ages animated series is filled with diversity, especially from its characters and voice actors. The latter are of Chinese, Indonesian, Pakistani, Japanese, and Thai descent. The show compliments this with wonderful animation, music, and background art.

Unsurprisingly, the series has been been nominated for four Annie Awards, one Daytime Emmy, and a GLAAD Media Award since it began airing in 2019. It includes some voice actors I'm familiar with, like Tress MacNeille and John DiMaggio, who voice characters in Disenchantment, as well as well-known gay actor George Takei.

From left to right: Sasha, Marcy, and Anne with "cool anime" powers in the final episode of Amphibia, floating the air like anime heroes or Kid Cosmic protagonists

Amphibia is more than a series centered on a girl who is adopted by a family of talking frogs. While there is the classic conflict of good vs. evil, there is also a focus on family separation, self-acceptance, and trauma. As I wrote previously, all of the main protagonists have trauma on same level or another, as the friendship between all three of them faces hardships and strains.

This is all mixed together with fantasy and sci-fi elements, and even occasionally situational comedy acts. These complex characters are written in such a way that you become invested and concerned about them, even after ending the series. The series also has plotlines focused on human and animal experimentation, and robots.

This series is part of a recent set of diverse Disney animated series. Others include The Ghost and Molly McGee, a supernatural fantasy, and will-be-ending horror comedy and fantasy The Owl House. Upcoming series such as Iwaju, Moana: The Series, Tiana, Cookies & Milk, Hailey's On It!, and Marvel's Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur portend a continuation of this focus.

In the case of Amphibia, Braly based the series on his trips to Bangkok, Thailand where he thought he was an outsider. He also was inspired by video games like The Legend of Zelda and Chrono Trigger. In previous interviews he said he wanted to make the main character a Thai-American because there were few Thai protagonists in TV series or films that he watched as a kid. As a result, he has said he become influenced by the Mortal Kombat and Sonic the Hedgehog franchises.

In a December 2021 interview, Braly noted the themes of immigration, alienation, and xenophobia drawn from his own experiences. All of these themes are deeply integrated into the series. Some of this is heavily informed, according to Braly, by the 1990s series, Pepper Ann. Braly also noted that frogs were chosen for the series because they are metaphor for change and their connection to Thai culture.

Lady Olivia (right) looks at General Yunan (left) lovingly and tells her she wouldn't mind "settling down" in Wartwood with Yunan.

Amphibia is rightly praised for illustrating issues like emotional manipulation, bullying, and delightful characters. The series could also be praised for broadening "ethnic-racial representations" like Craig of the Creek and Elena of Avalor. This is something that groups like the socially conservative family-oriented non-profit, Common Sense Media, would praise.

A 2021 report from the organization notes that when people of color are portrayed stereotypically, it causes harmful views to be promoted among White audiences. This is coupled with underrepresentation of specific groups, such as Latine and Indigenous people, and misrepresentation of others.

Little mentioned is LGBTQ representation in Amphibia. Although it isn't as direct as other recent series, like Dead End: Paranormal Park or The Owl House, Braly stated that in the show's finale, they left it open as to whether someone thinks of Sasha, Marcy, and Anne romantically or not, as he loves shipping. He called it the "greatest expression of love for characters."

This gives queer fans who ship Marcanne (Marcy and Anne), Sasharcy (Sasha and Marcy), Sashanne (Sasha and Anne), or even all three in a relationship together some solace. This the case even if this so-called "Calamity Trio" are only be "gal pals" in the show's canon.

Even so, Sasha was hinted as bisexual in the show's final episode, and confirmed as such by Braly, as I noted in an earlier post. Her voice actress, Akana, is bisexual herself. She voiced Daisy in magical girl esque Magical Friendship Girl Squad: Origins and Magical Girl Friendship Squad. In the case of Daisy, Akana argued that Daisy was bisexual. However, other crew members argued she was a lesbian, and possibly trans, leading to confusion among fans.

Coming back to Amphibia, Sasha joins other LGBTQ characters such as Frodrick Toadstool and Toadie who were confirmed as a gay couple by the show's creator. More significantly is Yunan (Zahra Fazal) and Lady Olivia (Michelle Dockery) as lesbian couple. There's also Ally and Jess who run an Internet video channel together. Their colors are based off the bisexual and pansexual flags.

It is also implied that Mr. X, voiced by RuPaul, is gay, and there are some other minor LGBTQ characters. Similar to Sasha, the sexual identities of these characters are never directly stated. Mr. X is an effeminate FBI agent assisted by a silent assistant named Jenny. After Anne and frog family escape to Amphibia, Anne's birth family convince Mr. X to hear them out and to be on the same side against Andrias. This results in the military and FBI assisting Anne and her friends in the final episode.

The relationship of Yunan and Olivia, was embraced by reviewers like Jade King, who calls herself "TheGamer’s Queen of Gay Cartoons." Braly told King that the ship of these two characters was their favorite ship. He called it "very organic" and "awesome." Fans were jubilant about the news, and fully embraced it. It undoubtedly helped that Fazal was inspired by the protagonist of Darkwing Duck in voicing the character.

Considering that the final episode has a ten year time-skip, it makes the series ripe for a possible spin-off or continuation that happens in that time skip, with different protagonists than this series. While some are conflicted about a spin-off, the show could go a route a la Steven Universe Future, focusing on the aftermath of a victory, with Anne, Marcy, and Sasha having to pick up the pieces.

All three seasons of Amphibia are currently streaming on Disney+, YouTube TV, and Prime Video.

© 2022-2023 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.