#That number will go up next year | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mpreg-ask-blog · 17 days ago

Note

Merry Sinsmas to you and Husk and everyone at the Hazbin Hotel. I hope everyone has a wonderful day

^^

And as your early Sinsmas present, have some art that is not related to the blog but just some that I want to show. Yes they are all of Angel, I have probably drawn him way too many times this year.

1: Just a lineless drawing of Angel using the lasso tool

2: Mostly practice on postpartum bodies (the line on his stomach is a C-section scar btw)

3: One of the chibis for the baby shower art

Happy Sinsmas/Happy Holidays <3

#angel dust #art post #im slowly realizing that I have drawn Angel so many times this year #That number will go up next year #oh well #hazbin hotel #Too lazy to rp so have art #rp blog #hazbin hotel mpreg #mpreg #yes he’s pregnant #sorry not sorry #i love him so much #pregnancy art #i wanna draw him more believe it or not #idk how to tag this #wow my art is inconsistent

15 notes · View notes

thebramblewood · 10 months ago

Text

A lady vampire may be forced to spend half her day cooped up inside a dark coffin, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't always look her best. After all, you never know when an unexpected snack guest might arrive. And if you see a spot or two of blood... well, that's quite frankly none of your business!

CC linked below the cut!

Look 1: top + bottom + accessory bra / slippers / nails / towel (Spa Day)

Look 2: top + bottom / accessory robe / earrings / hair

Look 3: outfit (Simtimates) / blood 1 2 3 / hair

Look 4: outfit / accessory robe / hair

Look 5: outfit (Vintage Glamour)

Look 6: top / bottom / accessory robe / eye mask

Look 7: top + bottom

Look 8: outfit / hair

Look 9: outfit / hair

269 notes · View notes

ratatatastic · 3 months ago

Text

local man haunts (me) open practise yet again more news at 11

#txt #what an experience #i didnt go alone this time which means shenanigans heightened by 20 #and by that i mean we were by the glass drinking mate (that security thankfully let us bring in)#and ___ kept going (lifts mate up to the glass) quieres? to all the players that skated by #and i had to just go STOP THAT #and they went they dont want our mate hmph what do they know about mate and i went. well thats the thing. they dont 😭😭#theres was a bunch of kids next to me which meant a lot players over to our side and ekky trucked over #and knocked the glass w his stick on a driveby and scared the shit out of me I ALMOST DROPPED MY MATE he had this shit eating grin #maffhew also kept doing little toodle-loo waves at the kids behind him it was so cute 😭😭😭#but anyways i think its so funny ___ kept focusing on ekky too and i didnt realise why until they just drop the bombshell of #“they remind me of your brother” and i went “DONT FUCKING SAY THAT WHAT THE FUCK MAN DONT SAY SUCH SACRILEGE”#the rest of the convo was in spanish and i dont know how to like fully convey 🇦🇷 banter in eng but it roughly went #“no he does. he has the same dumb face when he starts shit (because he kept bodily bumping into boqy and forsy)#the same 'was that me? did i do that?' troublemaker face. hes a shit stirrer but never answers to it. hes sleazy in that way.#he has the same beard too dont you see it“#and then i promptly spent the whole time going god he is just like my older brother oh this is a horrifying revelation oh god #anyways they kept saying look at his dumb face look at it just like your brother the whole time in spanish when he crept near #and i had to go SHUT UP PLEASE HE CAN HEAR YOU to which they snorted and went you said its fine if we spoke spanish here theyre not gonna #understand us and i was like OKAY BUT IM SURE 11 YEARS HERE HES GONNA PICK UP #SOMETHING AND WE KEEP CURSING SO FOR MY SAKE CAN YOU SHUT UP #mikksy and schmidty were super playful with eo. tuomo ruutu kept messing w mikksy. and ekky was like a damn bumper car bumpin everyone #maffhew ofc was very dramatic when he couldnt get a goal in against knighter and he did the horse headshake in front of us #and i went “you can tell whos number 19 because hes the most dramatic person on the ice always”#ekky was super vocal i know he wanted to practise against the empty net but aj was practising tipins and he goes #MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. and aj so confused just moves like ???#and ekky notches one in goes over to him and waves his glove at him to move #also dmen + lundy were practising on my side of the ice afterwards (lundy ekky uvis kuli. kuli was practising solo. lundy was feeding ekky #for some slapshots uvis got some passes in with them) and anyways i did not fucking realise swaggy was still out because i was so focused on #the dmen until he shot a puck straight at my face and like man i know its not personal but damn did it feel personal with the lookback

14 notes · View notes

pilonciillo · 20 days ago

Text

lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety

#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works #why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being #released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy #last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get #panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the #parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to #steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out #all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone #spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli #telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s #nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank #track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the #business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and #video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me #FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s #not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m #much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel #safe #OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she #got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like #that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s #crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull #shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to #mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told #me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check #key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS #allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no #consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way

10 notes · View notes

coquelicoq · 4 months ago

Text

i fucking love prereading. getting documents about what's going to be discussed in a meeting and reading them and then going to the meeting and having context for all the things that are happening. if i could do this in all areas of life i would. send me a list of the words i'm going to need the definition of in order to understand what you will be talking about. give me a rundown of what topics might come up during this social encounter. provide detailed documentation of what to expect in a new setting. i will read the fuck out of that shit.

#me getting off meeting 2 for a project but this time i read their paper first because they sent it in advance: waaowoaoaowaw #you are not just saying words next to each other. these words have meaning #my posts #f #i went to get new glasses the other day but it was a failure because i forgot everything. forgot my prescription most notably #(idk where my brain is lately but it does not appear to be inside my skull)#but actually i ended up feeling fine about it. because it allowed me to scope out the place. figure out how it works #a little dry run. a little dress rehearsal. now i know that when i do it for real i'm going to go to the third floor #i'm going to go up to the ticket machine and press the button on the touchscreen and get a number #i'm going to go right inside and start looking at frames instead of sitting in the waiting area which is actually for a different departmen #i didn't know any of that and it was stressful but now i know and next time i am going to look and act so normal #also i was able to find out what my actual benefit is and it's really stupid. it's something i wouldn't have guessed in a million years #so it's good i had the opportunity to ask about it during a time when it didn't matter because i couldn't use it anyway #getting glasses is stressful enough because you have to stand around trying on frames like a tool #if there is any other aspect of the process that also makes me feel like an idiot it's just too much to bear. this time i got to spread it #out over two encounters. so hopefully next time the only embarrassing part will be the frames fashion show

18 notes · View notes

tittyinfinity · 15 days ago

Text

contemplating deleting my blog soon I might make a new blog but idk

#.bdo #i just need to work on some insecurity issues is all. been on a long self journey this year #can't shake the feeling that every time i say anything it's wrong somehow #and there is some reality to that. i have been wrong several times I've even been downright mean to people over misunderstandings #i just haven't been able to break out of the habit of feeling permanently embarrassed about every small mistake I've ever made #& old insecurities from my childhood are resurfacing #like when i was a kid/teen and no one would ever tell me when i was breaking social cues but they'd make fun of me behind my back #i have 3200 followers and most of my posts get 0 notes sometimes i get 1-5 so it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong #i end up deleting a lot of them...#almost every post of mine that's gone viral was just a screenshot or picture saved from somewhere else....#and the times that i have gotten attention over a post that stands up for people who aren't like me it makes me terrified #that i look like i'm trying to play a savior role or like i'm virtue signaling #i have a few good mutuals who i love so much and that's why I'm still here #it's also the only social media i use currently #but it does really hurt when i put a lot of thought into something like spending hours making a funny meme or a thoughtful post #just to find out that the only people who find them interesting is my extremely small circle on here if anyone at all #it's so dumb i shouldn't be feeling like this over fucking numbers....it's not even real #i find a little bit of (petty) solace in the fact that there are people on here who are loudly and repeatedly saying way more embarrassing #shit than I've ever said #but even then when i know someone is absolutely wrong it makes me feel nervous like what if im the next person to fuck up that bad #and i find out through public ridicule #well that actually kinda did happen on here once but not on that scale #last year i sent someone something i thought was funny and they sent back an 'ok'#and then immediately made a huge long post about how you shouldn't talk to strangers like you're already friends #called it parasocial behavior...got tens of thousands of notes and i knew it was about me...#i wholeheartedly agree some people go too far with parasocial behavior but i never fully understood what part of what i said/did was wrong #and i went back to feeling like the kid who never found out they were doing something wrong until they heard that they got made fun of #i don't even attempt to make new friends on my own on here anymore because i'm terrified of that happening again #almost all of the people I've become friends with on here came to me first and i love and appreciate them for that #but even then i feel too nervous to socialize that often bc i never find out/realize that i fuck up until later on

10 notes · View notes

unproduciblesmackdown · 29 days ago

Text

also "textless" versions of these, wahooo

#corned beef #joe iconis christmas extravaganza #bsol #speaking of >:3 & >:3 third time's the >:3 in successfully slammed both up against the window of joe iconis's car (twitter @'d & Seen)#which is really just a :3 but whom among us (orchestra hit) is not a little impish with it #first year i did fanart like wouldn't it be fun if joe saw & liked this. second yr like Same plus it did happen last time #then also recency Fun Times bias sure but he did make it a frame in his End Of Year Good Times Celebration video like >:'3 #yes i draw exactly what i wanna draw b/c it's some specific thing i enjoy that much so Yep that is the xmas show to me #so powerfully i was moved like ooh fun xmas villain wrole?? in '19 when i was paying attention & relieved of some bmc closure malaise #by the xmas show but obv Least aware / knowledgable lol. technically showed up in '18 around nov/dec but no chance Right then of tuning in #i mean i had the capacity but did not know it existed / even Less helpful preexisting context. anyway so by the time the show returns #& i've done research in between & gone my god i am i live laugh loving like Yeah i'll do more fanart & omg cyril & omg krampusfucking #able to ramp it up this year & like just thanks to Drawing Experience i'm better at forging ahead through thee process even when it's #extra ambitious like my god am i in over my head? well keep swimming for the surface like only several times going [aaa....] only to yknow #not be that tripped up anyway but still go [(celebrate) christmas!!! (with me)] & be like Do It For The Krampusfucking Gift #one post for another like lighting up my life joe just coming out like ''who wants clips. first up Full Cyril Fucks The Krampus number''#like jeez made that happen And passed it along....it's always the like epitome of my art like i make the specific often really niche stuff #i really respond to; does anyone else enjoy this? if yes; Wheeee; sometimes this is also ppl Behind the really niche shit i enjoy #like i truly hope you do get that kick out of it as i slam it up to the window; worth a Highlight Of Your Year or not #the power of [i do like to Draw the things i latch on to] + [internet] for you #really the bsol design even More an event in ''how did i even do this'' b/c even when planning to make it slightly easier like well #fewer figures; i'll use ink pen so i hone the lineart less than i would to precisely get [line weight mostly irrelevant] Line Geometry #yet still going ruh oh i'm honing for sure. but then like did Most of the lineart all in one night + all the coloring the next round #when i draw quite slowly / the Honing is virtually always an inextricable part of my process like i do Nothing in less than Hours #like i think even my freewheeling bsol sketches posted just this morning took me at Least an hour; judging by vids i played in the bg lol #not quite calibrated to have Attuned Confidence In My Ability To Forge Ahead thusly like oh no if i don't have Momentum or it doesn't #happen to be one of those times things just spontaneously come out great right off without more honing / consideration we're fucked....#not actually the case but yknow still realizing this lol But still able to just pat myself on the shoulder like It's Manageable & it is/was

8 notes · View notes

nereb-and-dungalef · 2 months ago

Text

I keep drinking coffee thinking it's gonna make me Productive and then instead of doing the work I actually have to do I just compulsively make spreadsheets :(

#my homework is. not done #but!!! i just realized if i take 2 spanish classes i can have a russian/spanish major instead of just russian #(it's complicated but this would leave me with: double major languages and history with a joint major in asian middle east studies)#(plus a minor in religious studies and concentration in islamicate studies)#first i gotta: relearn spanish for like the third time #but it's ok i'm hopping thru spain in less than a month so i should proooobably do that anyway #man when i was touring colleges my mom was like really dismissive about the idea of double majoring and now i'm here like #How Many Things Can I Stack Up To Get Big Number On Transcript #aaaaaaaand because of ames requirements i did the dumb thing and ended up learning persian while my spanish is still kinda iffy #итак совершилося то что я пытался предотвратить as they say #so i'm just gonna have to study two languages at once next semester... or just keep going thru the cycle of relearning them abt every year #my russian is a big girl it can survive on its own but i now gotta feed the babiessssss #tho ig what this kinda cyclically learning and forgetting spanish has taught me is like #languages are less like babies and more like those lil desert plants that wither up when they don't have any water #they might look dead but they're nearly impossible to kill completely #and will bounce right back after a lil care n patience. i just gotta like.... water em #the one thing standing in my way is ideological opposition to my spanish textbook #i have to pay $200 for access to a *website*#*i don't even get a book just a shitass ebook*#but it's ok one of the spanish profs likes me i think? i think she would let me skip the intro lit class #only problem is it was Genuinely Hard for me to follow along when i audited advanced lit... 90% of the class was heritage speakers #tho ig like. having taken a class meant for native russian speakers should help w learning to survive that kinda thing #genuinely i think i can do it #just gotta make that my goal. study. do it for zapata #and if i wanna go into translating... having good spanish should help right? like if i finally get b2 spanish?#yeah. if i could do kazakh history for native russian speakers i can do spanish lit for heritage spanish speakers. it's equivalent enough #but ok i'm gonna visit my buddy in spain who did nearly the exact same shitass majors combination as me #tho i think he did spanish/arabic for his language major and just Happens To Also Be Fluent In Russian cuz he's Like That #it's ok he's two years older than me i have two years to become that cool #he can tell me what to do

17 notes · View notes

muse-write · 2 months ago

Text

…

#…#so i just learned that the $500+ laptop i bought #agonized over the purchase of #did the research on for months #was sold by a third party seller notorious for replacing the drives with cheaper models and basically selling refurbished instead of new #i only realized because something was going on with the fan #and on the bottom were 2 different serial numbers and the system gave me a third seperate one #none of which could be registered on the official site #and then went back to the order and realized the seller was an obvious shady company #and IF I HAD JUST LOOKED THEM UP I WOULDN’T HAVE #BOUGHT THE COMPUTER FROM THEM #i feel…not sick exactly #just furious #i mean at least the computer is functional it just was not worth the money i spent on it #and will hopefully last for the next two years or so

11 notes · View notes

paintings-drawings-sketches-ohmy · 1 month ago

Text

Surely there is no way this will go wrong at all

#mine #art in progress #I'm prepping for next years temperature blanket while I'm still in fucking July for the one from this year #Yes the pattern is going to change based on the phase of the moon; the hours of daylight; and the high and low temperature #and the stitch for the row will also change if it rains; snows; is foggy; etc #this project is going to humble me in regards to my ability to do basic math I can already tell #the moon phases are already filled in since that's a pretty predictable value #I'll fill in the rest as the time comes #also no I'm not making a sample first cause it's more fun this way #the sample tab is just me putting all the data into the most concise form #so it's set up with the temp and number of stitches for each section #I think the hardest part is going to be keeping the moon part in order since I'll have to flip it every other row #I'm still debating if i wanna do this as single or double crochet #fiber arts #crafts #crocheting #temperature blanket

4 notes · View notes

born-to-lose · 4 days ago

Text

I NEED to go to the record store asap

#pray that nobody bought the stuff i didn't get last month in the meantime 😭🙏🏻#money problems yk i didn't bring my card and only had like €200 on me for the day #why the fuck didn't i get the who by numbers and those slightly more expensive pete townshend records #at least the seller kept a stack of who adjacent aside for next time but ugh who came first and by numbers are still in his online shop #i have my pride tho i'm not gonna text him again to ask him to reserve them for me #also i wanna bring him some kind of gift because this dude has been getting me the best stuff for the past ~5 years #and he gave me a music magazine for my birthday and gives me records and cds for way cheaper or for free <3 #honestly if all else fails and before i kms i'm gonna ask if i can start working there because !!!!!#gonna invite him to go to a punk show in april btw it's in his town and up his alley so he better show up #mel talks

4 notes · View notes

sachermorte · 3 months ago

Note

Roderich Hetalia, those are not cramps, those are tectonic plate movements.

I'm too warm. I'm too cold. I'm too warm again. I settle down in bed. I turn the wrong way. My shoulder seizes up, protesting against my rough treatment of my own body, more delicate and prone to fits than I'm willing to admit. Through gritted teeth I reach for one of my pills, naproxen to start with, hoping to avoid using a muscle relaxant.

I roll over. My knee catches, I sublux my hip. Not enough to be agonizing, but enough to notice, enough to go limp against the mattress in some strange twisted facsimile of a human figure, a tattered silk ribbon caught in the wind of a storm.

I turn to my phone while the medicine kicks in. I write a few sentences here and there, leaning into the spasm. I know how to deal with this. I've been here before.

I check Tumblr. I open my inbox.

Someone is, once again, calling me Roderich Hetalia.

Have it your way, I think.

I send for the Bundesheer.

3 notes · View notes

orcelito · 5 months ago

Text

Actually we r at 6 months now without any major deaths in my life, which is great! That's the longest I've gone without any major deaths since last May! The second longest was 4 months between July and November last year. Wow !

#speculation nation #negative/#i mean not exactly but also. ya kno.#really i dealt with death after death in may july november and the biggest in february #actually i think my great grandma died within the span between july and november. but i wasnt close with her & dont remember when #so idk if id count that. if i did then the longest would be 3 months. between november and february.#all this is to say. wow what a Fucking year last year was huh #i still dont rly feel like i have much trust in people staying alive in my life.#but maybe im a bit less scared of even more people in my life suddenly dropping dead.#... then again now i apparently have something wrong with my liver. which i am still not happy about.#the only reason why im not dying of anxiety is bc i still feel relatively normal overall.#but i also just remembered how. well. 28 has Long been my unlucky number. and im turning 28 next year.#so ive been half convinced im just gonna die when im 28. bc thatd be just my luck wouldnt it #and like overall theres no real reason why i Would die at that age. but now theres something wrong with my liver.#and like ok i dont think it's liver failure. i dont have any real symptoms for it #and if it was an emergency my doctor wouldve told me to go to the hospital. probably.#but idk. my truest anxiety about it is that it could be something cancerous. or something.#and really i have no reason to suspect that specifically. it's just one of the potential causes for the enzyme abnormality we found #but bc it's not entirely off the table. well now my mind has latched onto it. and is like 'What If'#and ok i just now looked into possible liver diseases to try to calm my anxiety. with mixed success.#bc i found all sorts of liver diseases. including cirrhosis. which is irreversible damage.#im just clinging to the hope of the fact that my readings werent Too high... just.#every single one associated with the liver was high. which means theres Definitely something wrong with my liver.#and im kind of scared it's bc of my prior alcohol use. i wasnt an alcoholic but i did drink pretty regularly for a bit.#but also how unfair would it be for me to get a liver disease from that??? the most i ever drank at one time was 8 shots #which is a lot but there are some people doing that kind of thing Regularly. and they dont get liver disease???#regardless this has been extra persuasion to stay off the alcohol. especially until i know what's up with it.#heyyyy mr liver inside me i prommy i will take good care of u from now on. pls dont die on me 😭😭😭#see ok this is what happens whem i start to think. i get anxious. i just need to keep not thinking.#it's 10 pm i think thats a good time for sleepies

5 notes · View notes

saltyfilmmajor · 6 months ago

Text

Person Who Has Only Watched Mission: Impossible Watching Detective Conan: Getting a Lot of Mission: Impossible Vibes from this

#I can and Will Extrapolate in greater detail once i've like caught up with the major arcs #Currently we're going through the series out of order based on: Character we want to see or Roch is like: We Should watch this one next #it's great i've been having a blast #But anyway the point is: Kir proceeds Ilsa by a number of years #but god they're so similar in being forced undercover into Shady Crime Syndicate that all dress in black #and I have thoughts about it #Gosho Aoyama being like: Yeah Ethan Hunt I'll Take that name #and that's her whole ass Dad #and i just UH #First of all I really do think a Mission/Detco Crossover would work EXCEEDINGLY well #would anyone write it probably not #I should though #i don't really think anyone would care though but that shouldn't stop me #Also Shinichi/Conan and Ethan are similar protagonist archetypes: Forced into Circumstances that causes danger for everyone they care about #but also they gain allies by being themselves

3 notes · View notes

peachcott · 1 year ago

Note

Hi I was just wondering if you plan to reopen your shop sometime? :)

howdy!! yes, absolutely!! i'm so sorry for the delay oTL i expect to reopen in early 2024 (´▽｀)💗 i'm aiming for the first week of jan, but i'm looking into switching platforms (from bigcartel to shopify), so i can't provide an exact date 😭 hopefully i'll have some new designs available too, though!! :D thank you so much for your interest and patience!!

#cott.txt #asks #anon #i was really hoping to squeeze another round of shop-open-time in before 2024 #but the october pre orders bested me #i am so IMMENSELY grateful to my fellow bg3 fans who like my designs!! i received an unprecedented number of pre orders THANK U SOOO MUCH #i'm currently working on shipping them out!!! they should all be sent by next friday >:3c #BUT i had to set up some new systems for myself to handle the increased qty + reduce the potential for mistakes on my end #so i wasn't able to reopen in nov after all :(#i'm going to work really hard to bring in new designs for next year though!!! and i'm really excited about maybe switching to shopify!!!!#i think it will improve the experience for customers as well as significantly reducing my workload managing inventory etc :D #ANYWAY hopefully super early january 🙏🙏#every design will be either in stock or available to pre order then -- including a range of charms i'm really proud of #that i can currently only offer in-person due to bigcartel's item variation limitations but will be available if i switch to shopify!!!!#YAYYY

13 notes · View notes

supercantaloupe · 1 year ago

Text

apparently i'm already halfway done my musicology degree??

#i wanna talk about me #between the course i did in undergrad and the frankly ridiculous number of courses i'm taking this semester #apparently i'm over halfway done already #i know the musicology portion is a smaller load than the library science portion but like #man it was weird walking into my advisor's office and him looking me in the eye and saying like 'oh you're almost done'#three courses is all i have left for a master's. Man #well i'm gonna spread those out over the next year and a half...and probably pick up an extra elective here or there while i can #cause idk man i like studying music history...even if i don't Have to i like taking the classes and learning #(esp if it's gonna be paid for by my fellowship as long as i'm still here)#well i need to figure out. how the hell to get in touch with a library science advisor now.#i emailed yesterday and haven't heard back #but i don't know what i'm doing for that degree going forward rn #other than. i guess taking 552. but i KNOW there's other specialty and elective courses i'll need to take too #and i want to take stock of what shit i'll have to take in summers too cause i know some of the courses are only offered in summer #(need to find out if any of my fellowship scholarship can go towards summer courses. i'm guessing not...)#weird. it's weird. i don't know what i'm doing here #anyway #meeting with my advisor went okay i at least know what i'm doing now re: the music stuff #didn't cry which is good but man i hate how my voice started to break more and more the longer i was in there #and when i talked about how i put too much on my plate this semester and am struggling to keep up with all the work #and he asked me if i've been reaching out to anyone for support. or if i had people to reach out to #and i just had to sit there like. uh #define. support?#i have a couple friends at least that i chat with about stuff like that sometimes but not always cause i don't want to bother them too much #but like. it's not like i can ask someone else to write a research paper For me #or it's not like i can control when my coworkers get sick and i have to cover their time in the office #and this didn't come up at all (and i'm glad for it) but jeez it's not like i can control global political conflicts!!#it's hard for me to focus on getting enough work done in small chunks of time in the best of times #let alone when my fucking hamster brain is on high alert for getting hate crimed in public if my necklace is too visible or something #idk. it's a lot man. i bit off more than i could chew this semester even before the world fell apart

9 notes · View notes