#That man must have a wife

[hangmanssunnies]

Javy Machado is husband shaped.

[littlelightfish]

I would like to remind people that Chilchuck hasn't seen his wife in 4 years.

So he maybe wasn't there to see his daughters become adults, but he was there for the majority of their childhood.

When he left, Mayjack and Flertom were 12, and Puckpatty was 10. They reach adulthood at 14, so maybe yes, he was absent when they were still kids, but that doesn't mean he didn't maintained contact with them afterwards as far as I know. The thing he uses around his neck was a gift from Flertom, and he was using it when he met Laios's party.

[skywerse]

I designed finch's dad!!!!

[lucindasthighs]

Giggling about Aph's mini-love interest children until i thought about what if they realized it in-universe

Levin having fuzzy memories of pulling at his mom's flower crown, given to her by a man who looked a bit like him. It wasn't his dad, but it must have been someone who made his mom happy. Maybe he's still out there keeping Mom safe. Maybe he'll be the one to make sure she comes home... no matter the cost.

Malachi getting some street smarts lessons from Laurance. Being an adopted kid of a lord, feeling like an outsider and just trying your best to hold your sibling's hand and keep them safe? Yeah, Laurance gets it. It's just a couple tips on avoiding bad circles and keeping your wits about you, but Malachi flashes back to them constantly while trying to help Levin.

Lilith Garnet carrying on the souls of two Lord's lost beloveds through her very name. Two people who have had far more tears shed for them than she'll ever be able to repay. I don't even have more to say here, I'm just sad :(

[polin-erospsyche]

I need a scene where Colin is spending time with the bros celebrating the announcement that Pen is pregnant again and Will or Ben makes a comment about letting Pen breathe before they have even more Bridgerton’s running around and Colin my wife Bridgerton just smirks and is like “have you seen my wife? Actually don’t answer that I do not wish for you to be looking at my wife.”

I just need Colin being annoying about his wife around everyone. 😂

Oh trust me, I have a feeling that we’ll get Colin “my wife” Bridgerton so much next season we’ll be rolling our eyes with the rest of the London good society in the show.

They’re about to become one of the most obnoxious in love couples. So much so that we won’t know what to do with ourselves (mostly because we already don’t know what to do with ourselves).

Personally, after watching Anthony level of unhinged happy married man and soon to be father, I have a headcanon (maybe it’s canon) that all Bridgerton men become slightly unhinged in a whole new way once their season is over and they’re settled down. Colin soft boy lover era is coming, we just had to get through Reputation and the All Too Well 10 min version before getting there.

[see-arcane]

This part focuses on Quincey in particular instead of everyone, "Quincey raised his eyebrows slightly and looked at her intently", and I wonder if it connects with what he had said before: "And I promise you, too, that I shall make all certain, for if I am only doubtful I shall take it that the time has come!" Because Quincey is the one who always clocks on the situation at hand first, and patrols for threats (and if he spots one he shoots first asks questions later)

He does clock things very fast and takes action just as quickly. When he's facing the right way.

But in this scene, our favorite Texan isn't looking the right way or even reacting safely as much as he is quick about it. Even if his reaction was entirely innocent surprise, the fact that he made clear how ready he was to serve Mina's euthanasia request--seemingly with more readiness than even Dr. Jack Malpractice who must 'steel' himself to the idea--has absolutely stuck in Jonathan's mind.

Hence Jonathan death gripping the kukri as Quincey gets (to his eyes) the wrong kind of interested.

The whole story could have gone very nasty very fast if Mr. 'You've yeed your last haw' Morris had made a wrong move at that moment.

[aq2003]

if anyone is a fan of dt's voice work/audio dramas like i am and wants to listen to something random they've likely never heard before (or if you're coming down from the tony-baddingham-rivals high and want to see (hear) him play an entirely different yet equally complicated guy) i recommend murder in samarkand! it's quite good :)

cw: explicit mentions of SA/police brutality, islamophobia, and suicidal ideation

(youtube link)

(official site: mp3 download/soundcloud link)

[auriannaventiwithcaramel]

I JUST NOTICED JANE'S A CAR PLAYING AT THE END OF NPMD???

[emichevy]

Here are the individual frames from that goofy gif I made lmao since I saw some of you wanting to see it better🫶

Noir was NOT HAVING IT.

The gif of Miguel chasing miles which this is referenced off of will forever live in my mind rent free.

[ratatatastic]

im sorry using THE stanley cup as a ball marker is so 😭😭😭 SAMSON 😭😭😭😭

HELP ME THE DIFFERENCE IN SIZES OH WE GOT BUG LEVELS OF SEXUAL SIZE DIMORPHISM HERE

WHEN THEY SAID MINIATURE I DID NOT THINK THEY HAS THIS IN MIND

well at the very least miss stanley was toted around the greens in west vancouver for a bit may she enjoy the tranquility before she inevitably gets escorted into another bar lmao

Reino Cup Day | 7.28.24 (x)(x)(x)(x)

[butchhamlet]

WAIT WAIT ITS NOT A TRANS TAKE FOR WHICH I APOLOGIZE but I (a lesbian) played macduff and in my heart and soul my macduff is a lesbian performing to this hypermasculine scottish society as a man. And every time I put on my costume, to get into character, I imagined macduff putting on her men’s clothes, her soldier’s clothes, simultaneously concealing her true nature and adopting it because this has been her whole LIFE. Thinking about her love for her wife being what tethers her to womanhood. What it means to be a good man in a world of tyrants when you aren’t a man. Nearly every performance I almost had a Freudian slip where I said “Macduff was from her mother’s womb untimely ripped,” because that’s the only time (at least in our cut) macduff refers to herself in the third person. Thinking about macduff’s role in the play as the griever, the lamenter, and how the play connects emotion = femininity with lady macker’s “unsex me here/make thick my blood”, willing femininity away from herself by forbidding her emotions. And macduff expresses such deep grief and depression so openly. Thinking about a macduff who is extremely secure in gender and sexuality foiling a mackers who is extremely insecure in gender and sexuality. Thinking about a macduff who believes her wife and children have died for her “sins.” Thinking about the scene with lady macduff and her child, where they debate the child’s “father” being dead, and lady macduff compares macduff to a bird, whom she refers to with she/her pronouns. Thinking about Malcolm’s “show as you are,” and macduff throwing down her branch, not really showing as she is, never showing as she is. I am so sorry if this is incoherent I have so many emotions for her

[penroseparticle]

irreplaceable rant? to the left to the left

My irreplaceable rant is essentially:

When Beyonce wrote Irreplaceable it was like a giant stepping on an ant. Even in 06 she was shaping up to be a Juggernaut. B'Day launched at number 1 I believe? She was blowing up. Well established, producing bop after bop after banger after banger. And We bought Irreplaceable because we, fully, were on board. Beyonce COULD have another you in a minute. The mythos of Beyonce was taking shape. She was Beyonce, you were some guy. To the left.

When she wrote Lemonade it was like. Oh there are stakes now because whether you think Jay Z is great or not or a garbage dude or whatever, he's at least closer to her level than just "some guy".

Like. Of course she could have another you in a minute if you were some dude. But could she have another Jay Z in a minute? No, categorically she could not, and to say otherwise is to tell yourself fun lies because you hate cheaters or men or whatever. I am a firm believer that Beyonce is one of a kind and cannot be replicated in our lifetime as a cultural phenomenon, artist, creator, singer, you name it she is. incredible. But I'm also not going to pretend Jay Z wasn't in some ways just as singularly, powerfully monolithic with popculture just because most of this website understands rap less.

She writes the Sistine Chapel about him because like it or not, she wants to. She looks at him and sees things you could only dream of creating and I for one am just happy to be here, and could care less what you think about Beyonce's specialist boy who is the catalyst of some of the best music I've heard in the past decade, and also someone who MADE some of the best music I've heard in the past 20 years as well.

Beyonce's first solo recording was 03 Bonnie and Clyde, btw. As in, she was a feature on a Jay Z song before even releasing Dangerously in Love. Which. Also prominently has a Jay Z feature. In the lead single. That arguably launched Beyonce's career. Why would she ever write songs about the man who helped her launch her career that she has been married to for 16 years. A damn mystery.

And for the record, if she wanted to make the most beautiful art in the world about literal garbage, so the fuck what. We hate Duchamps The Fountain on this website now? Irving Penn spent years taking extremely detailed, well composed photos... of actual trash. Like Mud Glove. His photos were hanging in the Smithsonian a few years ago. Turns out beautiful art that says something, even something about trash? Still beautiful.

[moe-broey]

HEARTBREAKING

Worst Dad You Know Has an Extremely Endearing (Now) Reoccurring Character Trait

For further context: this whole FB involved Sharena and Henriette seeking out lockpickers in the Order of Heroes to open this VERY SECURELY locked box from Gustav's room that took Tina's special staff to finally crack open (or rather -- "steal" the contents out of. No one could actually break the lock!)

And the first instance of this!

It makes me wonder if he saved anything related to Sharena..........

[lovesodeepandwideandwell]

Extremely funny scenes of Austenian irony at Jane Austen reading group

[nthflower]

I hate Nate fallout tbh like not the concept of male sole survivor but default Nate as sole survivor. He is just what? A soldier who loses his wife and baby how original.

A normal lawyer who loses her husband and baby and then turns into a terminator post apocalypse to find her baby is funnier.

Plus being a lawyer in the post apocalypse is more interesting than being a soldier post apocalypse.

Like a lawman in a lawless world, first trying to find her baby but then fights for the rights of people and against injustice. But this time not only in the courtroom but also with being a double agent and using her fists as her mind. Becoming a defender but in a different way.

Also I hate soldiers and I love women so I am super biased btw <3

[softquietsteadylove]

drama for the runaway bride au: A man from the nearby village has seen Thena at Gilgameshs little forest house and informed royal guards who informed the King and now they're standing in front of Gilgameshs door again and invite themselves in and they're dragging Thena back to the castle

Gil smiled down at the flowers in his hand. Thena would love them--they were soft and white and lovely, just like her. He would put them in some water when he got home, maybe after dinner. Thena was probably chopping vegetables this very second. She was getting better at it.

It had been almost a year since she found him--or since he found her, maybe it was better to say. The beautiful bride he found hiding in a tree trunk was no longer a lost little fawn. She had come to learn everything that was required to keep the house in good order. She had taken over those duties all together when he'd been injured.

The cabin was as much hers as it was his, as far as he was concerned.

And it was high time he tell her as much, too. Maybe it was silly to do something so formally when she had indeed lived alongside him all this time. He often blushed to remember that they even shared a bed. But he felt he had to say something--let her know just how important it was to him that she was here.

"No, let go of me!"

The flowers dropped from Gil's hand. He took off in a run, his feet slipping faintly as he charged towards the house, a royal carriage parked out front.

"Get off me!" Thena screamed, so unlike her usual self. But she was a force to be reckoned with, clawing and thrashing, teeth bared like a wild animal.

"Your highness, please," the men pleaded with her.

"Let her go!" Gil bellowed before he could even think about it. All he knew was that he could see Thena being taken away, and he had to stop it. "Get away from her!"

"The lumberjack is back!"

"Stop him!"

"He has a weapon!"

"No!" Thena pulled against the suits of armour holding each of her arms. "No, don't hurt him!"

Gil slid to a stop, holding his axe but eyeing the line of royal soldiers with their swords pointed at him. "What do you think you're doing with her?"

"The princess is coming with us!"

"Like hell she is," he snarled at them. He would fight all of them, outnumbered or not, if he had to. "You're not going anywhere with my Thena."

"Gil!" she cried out for him. She managed to pull away from her captors, shoving the men out of her way until she could stand in front of him. "Enough!"

"Your highness, move!" the frontmost man barked at her.

"No!" she barked right back at him (that was his Thena). "Or would you rather report to my father than you've run me through trying to capture an innocent man?"

The guards did lower their weapons, although it didn't do much to make Gil feel better about the whole thing. The captain glared at him. "He is no innocent man, your highness. The lumberjack stands accused of kidnapping and holding the princess hostage."

"There is no such crime," Thena stated, although it seemed that - princess or not - her word didn't weigh as much as it should to the men facing them.

"His majesty has been searching, my lady," the captain scowled at her, still standing in front of Gil to protect him. "For nigh on a year, now."

It was a year this very day, actually.

"Then tell him you've found me," Thena challenged, her shoulders squared and her braid sliding off her shoulder and down her back. "Tell him you've found me and that I refuse to return."

The other guards looked between themselves. They were just men following orders, doing their jobs, trying to feed themselves and their families.

"I cannot, your highness."

"Well I won't be going with you, so you may pick which is a worse fate," Thena snipped at him, grasping Gil's hand behind her. "But if a hair on this man's head is hurt, I will have the lot of you executed."

Gil blinked. The men didn't seem to take her all that seriously, but he would be trembling in his armour if he were in their shoes. They hadn't seen her furious at the end of a long day when he'd forgotten to wipe his muddy boots off yet again.

"Princess Thena," the captain resumed his attempt at reasoning with her. He stepped forward, hand on his chest (and off his weapon). "Not only your father but your fiance the prince has also-"

"I have no fiance, captain," Thena cut him off without even batting an eye. "And if there is a snivelling pup inhabiting the castle saying he is, then I mourn for the days of your honour as a royal guard."

Damn, she really had a way with words, especially when they were insulting.

"My lady, I implore you," the captain bent at the waist and bowed to her. "I am not to return without you, sworn on my life."

Thena sighed. She wouldn't be responsible for something like that--she refused to be. Gil gave her hand a squeeze, "captain?"

"Highness?" he peeked up at her, a little too eager for how little time had passed.

"If my father has threatened you all with death," she held her head high. "Then I suggest you run away."

The men paled.

"These forests are deep. You could find the village, start anew, take your families and leave the prison my father calls a castle. But I will not return there with you, and if your lives depend on me doing so, then I am telling you now to save yourselves."

"Highness," another guard interjected, although Gil got the sense that he wasn't really allowed to speak up so freely. "If it's about the lumberjack, perhaps your father would employ-"

"Silence!"

Gil shrank slightly, and he was behind her! The men facing them flinched.

"My father," she said it like she would talk about hay mould, or spiders, or wild boars. Her eyes locked with the guard, "is not fit to stand in the same room as the man behind me."

"H-Highness-"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Princess," the captain took the reins again, his voice raising. "I have been ordered to bring you back. And I regret to inform you that I am to use any means necessary to do so."

"Truly?" she didn't back down from the threat, but still stood close enough to Gil that no one would be able to approach him without her being in the way. "Would you tie me up and kidnap me, captain? Would you apprehend the crown princess?"

"If I must, my lady," he informed her with an equal lack of remorse. "I was ordered to retrieve you, alive, but by no means was I told to do so with gentility. And if I must bring you back by force, then so be it."

Gil gripped his axe again. He didn't like where this was headed. Thena backed up into him even more, pressing her back to his chest. Her hand gripped the handle of his axe, throwing off his grip. She didn't want him to fight.

"I'm sure my resistance will be attributed to my so called 'kidnapper' fighting you off?" Thena assumed aloud.

"Aye," the captain confirmed.

"Then I must tell you..."

Gil held his breath same as the guards did. He didn't know what she had up her sleeve, but it had better be good. It really seemed like everyone's lives were depending on it.

"That I have already married him."

What was that now?

The men traded looks, most horrified, a few more curious than anything. The captain looked positively flushed with rage. "I beg your pardon."

"I have married this man," Thena proclaimed like it was nothing. She wound their fingers together.

"Each and every marriage must be officiated properly, your highness." The captain looked mortified, but in an angry way. "Your father will never recognise it as a lawful union."

"Then I suppose you will have to go and tell him regardless."

"Thena," he breathed against her hair. He wasn't sure if this would only invite more trouble down the line or not, especially considering it was a bold faced lie. But he went with it.

"That his daughter has run off and had a bastardisation of a marriage in the woods with some lowly peasant?!"

Gil huffed; he wasn't rich by any means, but he wasn't sure if he was a peasant, either. He had just worked at the castle not two weeks ago!

"Yes," she persisted, "tell him exactly that, or anything else. But he may know that I love the man I am with, and that I will not return to his gilded cage to be sold like chattel."

The captain sighed deeply. If looks could kill, he would be on trial for regicide, "if that is what her highness wishes."

"It is an order."

As if the word 'order' were a magic spell, the men all snapped up straighter, heels together. "Ma'am!"

"Then we must inform the king," the captain declared, pulling back his tiny battalion to deliver truly terrible news.

"I wish you luck," Thena sent them off with the snide wish, crossing her arms as they loaded into the carriages again. She kept glaring until they were dragging themselves off the beaten path and back to the main road again.

Gil let out a breath once they were out of sight. He leaned on his knees, heart hammering, "wow."

Thena also sighed, turning around to face him. "I suppose we will have to be prepared for the possibility that the magistrate will come knocking next."

"Uh, Thena?"

"Perhaps Eros will come with some fake document to state that I am not legally allowed to marry anyone but him," she continued, rolling her eyes and sorting out her braid again, "like a land deed."

"Thena," Gil tried again.

"As much as I never want to see him again, I would pay any price to see the image of my father's face when he finds out his crown jewel has-"

"Thena!" he interrupted, not at all yelling at her but certainly not keeping quiet anymore. He stood to his full height again, smiling at her, "married, are we?"

Finally faced with the consequences of her lie, she looked down at the ground between them, quickly flushing rouge. "U-Uh, w-well-"

"Wish I had known," he chuckled, trying to get a peek at her face, "I'd have gotten you a gift, darling."

She squirmed, toying with the edge of her apron (which none of the guards noticed was literally made from her once-wedding dress). "I had to think of something they couldn't argue with me about."

"No, I guess you were right," Gil chuckled, throwing his arm over her shoulders and pulling her closer, "now I just have to worry about your dad busting down my door, huh?"

"Please," she scoffed at the very idea, "Father hasn't set food outside the castle in well over two decades. I think he would sooner write me off as missing and deceased than lift a finger to verify it himself."

Gil wasn't sure if that was so true, but he couldn't do anything but take her word for it at the moment. He kissed her forehead, "are you okay?"

She sighed, leaning against his chest, tugging at the suspenders over his flannel shirt. "I tried to hide again but they circled the house and took me. I was worried...I thought you wouldn't-"

"Hey, okay, sh," he whispered, pressing his nose to her temple as she sniffed back her tears. He had been scared of that very thing. "It's okay, nothing like that is gonna happen."

Neither of them could guarantee that.

Thena put her hands on his hips, while he did the same for her. "I'm sorry to lie like that."

He shook his head. He didn't mind it nearly as much as she thought he did. Maybe he minded that it wasn't actually true, but that was for a later date. "It is our anniversary, actually."

Thena smiled, their foreheads meeting gently. She rose on her toes, just enough to touch her lips to his, "happy anniversary, my sweet lumberjack."