#Thank goodness the aro and ace communities have been so lovely

[flowercrown-bard]

To all the aros and aces and aroaces, you're wonderful and valid and you don't have to prove to anyone that you're "queer enough"

[gay-dorito-dust]

could you do asexual reader x Jason Todd headcanons?

I know this hdc won’t resonate for most in the ace community, cuz it’s a spectrum, but I hopes it at least resonates with some, even if it’s one person. That’s more enough for me. (Also sorry for the shit writing as usual)

Jason doesn’t mind that you’re asexual. You were still you at the end of the day, so he doesn’t understand why some people tend to make a big deal out of it.

It’s not like you being asexual was hurting anyone but he guessed that some people just harbour vast amounts of hate for things they don’t/refuse to understand bc they’ve been conditioned into thinking that it’s a bad thing.

Others are just cunts that Jason gladly beats the piss out of in your honour. (Acephobes plz die disrespectfully thanks)

He will not tolerate any sort of disrespect towards you and needless to say having a six foot something man who’s built like an absolute tank is enough to silence those types of people rather quickly.

He’s more then willing to do this for anyone that you knew who was ace, aro, or was in the LGBTQIA community in general, that he becomes a someone that a lot of them could come to when in need of help, or was just in need of a safe space.

He’s unbothered by it because as long as he’s helping someone in need, he’s more than willing to offer his shoulder for them to cry on.

(I just like the idea of Jason being a protector of LGBTQIA youths.)

After all he once took joy in beating the absolute piss out of a biphobe for Tim. Sure he may not have a great relationship with his siblings, but he’s not one to ignore when they’re being treated like shit for being who they were.

He respects your boundaries and will always ask whether or not it was okay for him to kiss you, to which you’d always have to tell him that it was more then okay for him to kiss you.

He understands that asexuality was a spectrum and would ask which part of the spectrum you were apart of, and acts in accordance to make sure that you’re more than comfortable in your relationship.

He’s always finding ways to constantly learn about asexuality and more. He’s even got a whole bookshelf dedicated to LGBTQIA history because he wants to better himself and do right by you and other people who look up to him to protect them. He takes that shit seriously.

He just loves you very much and wants you to feel as though you could tell him anything that’s bothering you and he’ll gladly bring you its head if you’d like just to prove it.

If you are okay with kisses and the like, be prepared to be swarmed by it at every possible opportunity with this teddy bear, for he will smother your face in kisses as he holds you against him, smiling upon hearing you laugh and poor attempts in pushing him away. It’s a highlight of his day because when you’re happy, he’s happy.

You don’t like sex? That’s okay! He’ll make you have Junk food dates with him where you stuff your faces either pizza with stuffed crust (you can eat it in reverse) and garlic bread and watch shitty movies as you cuddle on the couch.

You: you don’t think I’m broken?

Jason; no. Why, who’s told you that you were broken because it’s a bunch of bullshit. You’re the most important person in my life and I’d do just about anything for you, no matter how big or small it may seem because at the end of the day I want to see you happy. So listen to me sweetheart and listen good, you are not broken. You are perfection incarnate in my eyes, you are everything I could’ve hoped to have by my side for you’ve never judged me, so I don’t see why I should judge you for being your truest self. Thats a bit hypocritical don’t you think?

Jason: So don’t ever think you’re broken when you’re far from it, you are whole and you are more than enough. I don’t care if we have sex on occasion or not at all, your happiness is all I care about. I want you to be happy for the rest of our lives together because now I’ve got you I’m not letting you go. Ever. I couldn’t care less about anything else but when it concerns you, I’d move mountains to make things better for you. I love you chipmunk, please don’t ever feel like you’re broken when you’re so much more than that, and I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it.

[cushfuddled]

what are your thoughts on the "Arcane Viktor was meant to be ace" that has been said in an interview? Like yes - word of god feel free to ignore - but they said they tried to write him that way. Do you think they succeeded?

Hiya! Thanks for the ask! :D

I was honestly shocked to hear Linke "always" meant to depict Viktor as asexual. It strikes me as a deeply disingenuous comment, not least of all because I want to believe someone who "always thought of Viktor as asexual" and was driven by a desire to make ace people happy would...I dunno...display a slightly better grasp of what "asexuality" even means.

LINKE: I know there are some people who ask this. There is a love. I don't think it's romantic…I remember many, many years ago also thinking about this when we started developing these characters. To me, I can say something here now that would be good for you and bad for me because it will be a wildfire. To me, Viktor was always asexual, and that was always something we talked about from the very beginning. So, a romantic relationship between Jayce and Viktor was just never part of it. There is a love, absolutely, but we also found it a bit... Love and relationships are so complex and take so many different forms. Viktor loves in a different way, and that's okay, no? ...It's something that when we talk to our LGBTQ group within Riot, I remember asking the group many, many years ago, like, "What is something that you never see depicted very well?" And someone said asexuality. They say it's often depicted as, like, emotionless when it's not true at all. It's just that your feelings don't mix with physical. So, to me, that was always part of Viktor. [x]

I didn't feel seen at all by this kind of retroactive ace rep, but I did feel truly, deeply moved by the fandom's response.

Because I know this song and dance. A showrunner or someone with similar "creative authority" describes a character as ace or aro, and the fancops take out their soap boxes and declare,

"All right, everybody! You heard the man! No more sexy fanfic and fan art! This ace/aro character is officially off limits!"

And then aro and ace people like me, who ENJOY smutty fanfic and fan art and want to see our favorite Barbie dolls kiss, are viciously harassed for our hubris. For at least a year I watched my favorite TMA fan artist get dogpiled to hell for daring to draw NSFW art ofJonathan Sims. And yes, this artist was also ace! To fancops, the opinions of aces and aros who like to consume or create smut don't count. We're all "degen" traitors who deserve to be bullied out of fan spaces for the sake of The Good Ones.

So anyway! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Christian Linke came out of the hole in my wall and told me Viktor and Jayce aren't gay.

“Was there ever a ship?” LINKE: “It’s strange that people say that’s the only close relationship that two men could have is to be a couple, you know? There’s really close friendships and like, brotherhoods if you will…like, really being there for each other. Um. [That] is something that was…really important for us to explore. So…it seems like there’s no other version, you know? For some fans, they say like, ‘Hey, there must be romance,’ and we’re like…these relationships can be really layered and really complex, you know? I think there is some kind of…there is a love between them. I just don’t think it’s romantic, you know?” [x]

(If I have to hear one more creator clap back at a hopeful "could they be gay?" with a bizarrely defensive spiel about the transcendent magic of platonic bonds and how men aren't allowed to foster close platonic relationships I'm gonna hemorrhage something, but that rant already lives over here so whatever)

First of all...

:3c

...For someone so committed to propping up the ace and aro community with canon rep, this November 28 2024 version of Christian Linke sure doesn't mention asexuality or aromanticism at all. The genergous ellipses from the excerpt above aren't a creative embellishment on my part. Those pauses are very much apparent on the Twitch stream. Linke appears to really dig for the right words here, yet the terms "asexual" or "aromantic" evade capture. But sure, asexuality was "always" a part of Viktor for Linke.

Maybe Linke didn't want to draw fire from fans with a "Dumbledore is gay" moment, so he left any definitive terminology off the table. In any case, I watched the Jayvik community respond to Linke's Twitch stream like so:

This was, to put it mildly, fucking hysterical. I've never seen a community so decisively "...anyway" a showrunner over queer rep before.

This is horribly unfair for me to assume, given I know next to nothing about Linke and his capacity for petty vengeance. His timing could be totally coincidental, his efforts completely genuine. But the fact that Linke dropped this ace Viktor bomb less than two weeks after his Twitch stream smells like a tantrum to me. In my least charitable vision, I see a man who declared Jayvik platonic by order of Authorial Intent, watched his fandom go, "That's nice grandpa. So about that Hextech sex toy fic—", and was so offended by shippers' casual disregard as to "strike back" with something they couldn't possibly ignore. Thus the "Viktor was ace the whole time" card, when

The word you're looking for is "aromantic," Linke. That's the one to do with romantic attraction.

I know it can be difficult to canonize asexuality and aromanticism. If someone tried to kiss Viktor and Viktor pulled back like, "I don't feel things that way"...would that reaction be enough to make Viktor canonically aro? Perhaps Viktor would need to clarify: "I don't feel things that way." "Which way?" "The...romantic way.” “I don't understand." "You are my partner, Jayce. I love you. I want to be with you. But I will never want to kiss you." I’m tempted to champion that second option, but I can see the argument for less stringent criteria. Ambiguity is...organic, I guess. Too much clarification can read as disingenuous and preachy, like one of those after school specials. Still: I've spent too many years dancing for table scraps to ascribe sanctity to headcanons.

At the end of the day I just don't buy Viktor as ace/aro per Linke and Lee's creative vision. Sky felt like such a classic case of "straight key jangling" to me—i.e. a one-dimensional female character who exists to reinforce a male character's straightness. (My favorite example of this phenomenon = the time Cas Supernatural became mortal ((and thus capable of sexual attraction)), met a woman, slept with her, then killed her within the span of a single episode. Why showrunners seem to believe a female love interest invalidates queer readings, I cannot begin to guess). Even as Viktor pulled his hands away from Sky's—even as Sky told him, “No you won't"—I couldn't help but feel like Linke and Lee had a bullhorn to my ear the whole show: "Oh no, these poor lost ships in the night! How tragic, that Sky was so ready to love Viktor with all his faults and cracks, and Viktor could've found love and purpose outside his work had he only stopped long enough to notice! How tragic, that Viktor only came to understand the nature of Sky's feelings for him after his work had stolen her away! How tragic, that the thing Viktor so desperately craved was right there the whole time, from the moment he launched that toy boat to the night he activated the Hexcore!" It felt like Sky was meant to represent potential, a la the limitless expanse of the heavens. In such a complex cast, Sky stands out like a sore (cardboard) thumb. When Viktor lost Sky to his ambition, she was forever frozen as a "what could have been," reduced to a symbol of roads untraveled. With all those Vibes in the air, I'm like...uh...Linke? Tell me again about how you wanted me to read Viktor as aro this whole time???

I'm sure some ace and aro folks were bolstered by this situation, and lord knows I don't want to yuck on anybody's yums. But for me personally, Linke's comments were like a punch to the throat. It felt like Linke wanted to use me as a police baton to beat back the hordes of evil shippers. What meant the world to me was, once again, the fandom's response. NO ONE TOOK THE BAIT. At least here on Tumblr, all I saw were ace, aro, and allo fans A. clarifying ace and aro terminology, and B. creating smut out of spite.

I cannot stress how fucking INSANE this was to witness as someone who's dealt with a lot of shame re: my aegosexuality. I've never felt so seen and supported as an ace person by a fandom community. Every Jayvik fic with a "this one's for you, Linke"-esque note adds another five years onto my life. I seriously love you all. Please keep being your glorious selves.

[genderqueerdykes]

Having read what y'all have said, I'm going to add a few things.

1. You're right, it's not all cishet men, it's specifically the bad ones that I hate, I do however, have a distrust of specifically *White* cishet men (though at this point I feel like most people do) who have declared themselves to be just that, which brings me to my next point -

2. It's only the people who have flat out said they identify this way that it effects for me. I'm actually married to a non-passing trans woman. I see her struggles, mostly with, you guessed it, white cishet men, and white cishet women. I love her a lot, so no, I don't immediately just assume.

3. Aro, Ace, intersex, Etc are all Lgbtq+ last I checked, no? I personally wouldn't group those folks in with cishet folks, but I do appreciate this take as well. For me, in my opinion, being aro is enough to be queer if someone wants that space. If they tell me they don't, I won't force it, but I've yet to have someone say "oh no thanks" being so fr right now, Even if they are Cis, and Hetero, they are still Aromantic. They are still Asexual. Those are still valid identities in the community. So is being gay? Intersex by default means you're not cis, unless I've been misled on that. So.. No I'm not including those groups when I say I hate cishet men.

4. I know it wasn't you who brought this up, but I'd geuninely appreciate a deeper explanation on how hating white cishet men (or, Bad cishet men specifically) is racist? Idk maybe I'm an outlier here but I'm way more comfortable around cishet men of color than I am white cishet men. I just didn't think it would immediately jump to "You're racist anon" or I would've clarified that intially.

The reason for all of this, is personal. It is because of hurt. But it is also because 97% of women. Statistics back that right now, in society, the most dangerous people are also the ones who try to take up the biggest space. Who shout the loudest. Who punch down most often. So yeah, I do hate them. Would I say that I hate someone who is Amab but hasn't flat out identified that way? No. Would I say I hate white cismen's socialization more than them? Yeah absolutely. I absolutely challenge how we raise our kids on the whole because look at how that turns out.. and that's just the numbers we have. Would I say that I hat every white cishet who's proudly proclaimed that to me? Yeah. Honestly. I think I would. Whether they have personally wronged me, or not, their socialization and actions are a part of them, one they could change if they wanted to, but the stastics don't lie. The people who cause the most damage are, cishet, white, men. I recognize maybe that makes me bitter, but.. I can't really afford to be sweet, with how much hurt I've been put through, my wife has been put through, my friends and even just strangers get put through.

If they're not white, and they admit they're cishet, I'm still cautious. But I don't automatically jump on the hate train without getting to know them.

I don't go up to children still trying to figure things out and loudly proclaim that I hate them because.

Hell I don't even do that to adults. My feelings are my own, and my responsibility. I just make a point of being precautious, and I do my best to protect my wife, where I can, and others.

It's all good and dandy to make room for cishet men, queer men, men in general - and I definitely think it needs to be done more on the whole, and advocated for, but at the same time, aren't we allowed to be angry about how things have been? About how difficult to bring that change in is? (Note, because other things got misunderstood, Being angry /=/ Attacking other people. Hatred for me, at least /=/ Attacking other people. It's not outward. Those are actions. Not feelings.)

I'll stay to see any responses if this is answered, because I do think open dialogue is the only way to learn and to challenge one's views (which I'm not opposed to doing. Maybe one day I'll realize y'all were right or maybe even after the response to this who knows right?) Because that's how growth happens. That's how real change gets started. But, I think in general, me sticking around would probably make you feel uncomfortable, which is valid, so I'll take off afterwards & bear in mind that it *does* include me for others going forward. I do appreciate an answer on that, even if it seems like we have different opinions and perspectives. Maybe I just wasn't clear enough? Maybe this'll be seen as worse not better. Idk. Either way. Thanks for giving me an answer, and for the emotional labour that went into the initial replies, and any replies if they happen to this. If no one is willing to put more into this, I do completely understand that too. I'm not gonna push. It's a lot, and it can be exhausting and cause burn out so like. You gotta take care of yourselves too.

I probably won't feel the need to respond again, but, I might if I see y'alls point more clearly. Otherwise, I don't want to cause any more problems for anyone so I'll take my leave!

no, your hatred is not justified, and it never will be. no part of that is justified whatsoever. what you hate is patriarchy, not cishet men. you hate the system that we've built around cishet men and how we force everyone to uphold it. your talking points are heavily steeped in rad feminist ideals and i highly recommend trying to divorce yourself of that. it's always bad praxis to hate an entire group of people.

you said you specifically hate "cishet men." aro cishet men are cishet men. ace cishet men are cishet men. genderqueer cishet men are cishet men. intersex cishet men are cishet men. cishet men can be queer. insinuating that "cishet man" means "not queer" is dangerous thinking. of course these people are queer.... but they're still cishet men. you don't get to rob a cishet man of their cishet manhood just because they are also ace, aro, intersex, and so on. that doesn't just erase the fact that they're a cishet man and automatically make them 'safer' to be around than any other cishet man.

i would highly recommend on not talking about intersex identities until you learn more. being intersex doesn't make someone inherently trans, it's actually very intersexist to state that being intersex makes you basically trans. there are loads of cis intersex people out there, so you were right in not being informed well on that issue. this spits in the face of every intersex person who has fought to be seen as cis to insinuate that being intersex makes you trans. these wouldn't be two distinct experiences if they meant the same thing.

also i never called you racist. the comment made about racist behavior was from another blogger. no one ever called you racist for saying you hate white men. please re-read this portion of the addition:

you have been hurt by specific men, the general concept of cishet men. to automatically assume someone is dangerous just because how they identify will lead you down a path of extreme isolation. random cishet men walking down the street aren't hurting you. random cishet men in the same community as you aren't hurting you.

i'd recommend giving my initial response a re-read because a lot of this is totally out of left field. it's your choice whether or not you interact with me! you're not obligated to follow my blog if you genuinely think and feel that you need to hate cishet men in order to survive. keep in mind that hating men will not keep you safe from being hurt again in the future. you will never be completely safe from abuse by pathologically avoiding and hating men

shift your hatred to patriarchy, not cishet men who have not hurt you. many men are chewed up and spat out by patriarchy for not being a perfect man. it's not racist to talk about how men of color are treated horribly by patriarchy and how certain racial traits are seen as more "manly" by whites than others. this part of the discussion is extremely important to talk about. no one called you racist, they called the behavior of stereotyping certain physical traits as masculine racist. racist behavior can be changed

i'll leave you with this: you've been hurt by cishet men, but you've also been hurt by cishet women. you cannot in good faith say you have never, ever been hurt by a cishet woman. whether directly, or by virtue of having a cishet woman in a position of power over you, such as an employer or governor, you have been hurt by a cishet woman in some point in your life. people really love to downplay how much cishet women can hurt people.

this question is for you, not for you to ask me, or respond to: is it okay to hate all cishet women because of the likes of JKR? chew on that for a while. women are not inherently incapable of abuse. by asserting that men are inherently abusive, you are asserting that women are inherently defenseless and can only be abused and never hurt anyone else.

hope that gives you a few things to think about. good luck out there

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

Hello there!

Mod applications open

Mod team:

I’m Jamie but I also go by Jay! I’m gender queer and use any pronouns but I am masc leaning (he/him), don’t be afraid to ask! I’m aegosexual-pansexual and a romance repulsed aromantic! I am neurotypical and the OG owner of this blog!

Hey people, my names Noah and I use they/them pronouns :) I have a long list of labels cause I'm a complicated human being lol. I'm non binary, lesbian oriented aroace, with a handful of microlabels (quoiromantic, apothiromantic, aegoromantic, apothisexual and aegosexual). I also experience platonic, aesthetic and sensual attraction B) I have diagnosed adhd and I'm an infp :D

My name is Ray! I go by any pronouns and I’m a Agender Cogirl. I am cupioromantic and aegosexual (and many other things, just ask if you want to know!). I also have diagnosed autism and I’m an ISFP

Carl D, all pronouns, allergic to garlic, aroace

We’re here for all your Questions, Rants, Vents and Confessions!

Ask box is always open and we’re always here for your asks!

We are here to educate, explain and help with anyone who needs it!

Stay safe, remember you are valid and its your box!

LOVE U ALL U ARE VALID

Commonly asked questions!

Link to my Aro-spec post

Link to a post containing most Ace Spec identities

Asexual Wiki, Aromantic Wiki,

the Asexual Visibility and Education Network -Asexual resource

AUREA - the Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy

List of Aroace Spectrum resources

Connect to the community - aces and aros

The Battle of the Phobics Link to link post

The comments section link to a helpful article on how to educate/beat the acephobes

This user acknowledges that the land they stand on always was and always will be aboriginal land. Sovereignty has never been ceded. This user recognises the past atrocities against Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples of this land and that Australia was founded on the genocide and dispossession of First Nations people.

Recommend blogs

please feel free to ask me first, if I don’t provide a good answer or you want more you can ask again or go to one of these blogs! Please tag more blogs I should add to this list!!

@asexualadvice - asexual advice! (Read blog but helpful info!)

@aegosexual-moments - the aegosexual blog of all time (excluding myself /j)

@aromantic-diaries - Very cool aro person!

(Yes I know my profile pic is off center, suffer, its still off centre, suffer more)

(It’s seperate because aroace is unfortunately usually viewed as one identity, ace and aro are separated spectrums)

(If I hear one more complaint about my icon I’ll change it to what ever random piece of art crosses my dash next and you wouldn’t like that would you??) (i did that and got a new profile pic :D)

The Blogs

blogs that are kinda fan accounts???? wtf????

@aroaceplaceforsome they’re the neutral party here, they use pronouns

@throwawaysoiwontgeteatenbyjamie a whore

@jamies-a-great-person @aroaceappreciationplace -more whores (lovingly)

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO @la-creechura for drawing our profile pic!!!

Banner art by @pride-flag-planets

The forces:

A collection of multi member blogs dedicated to one country of aspecs… all against Denmark

@aussieaspecforces

@indianaspecforces

[prototypesteve]

hi! I just came across your acc and read some of your posts and you seem a really inspiring individual. im a 18yo demisexual person who's really close to their queerness (both in the sexuality and gender aspects) as its a fundamental part of my individuality. and i dunno, both my being acespec and genderqueer are a tricky... thing to get into when i want to get into relationships. im trying to be happy by myself. and this was very random and all, but as you're an adult aroace (i see very very few of them) its inspiring to me knowing I can still have a good, normal life? while living in full authenticity. idk. sorry if this is random. you dont have to reply. your account was nice to come across. have a wonderful day

Thank you for this. This is why I’m here. Honestly this is most of why I came out. Seriously.

Being Different and “New”.

The world is catching up with you, so you’ll have to be patient sometimes. Language often outpaces feelings. People know how to address genderqueer (they know all the words) but they’re still learning how to process genderqueer (they’re deconstructing all the old gender “archetypes” and stereotypes they were taught by parents and teachers who didn’t address or process genderqueer in their day). They will figure it out, because they can see it’s real. But it’s frustrating, in the meantime.

Even our own community of LGBTQIA+ (in Canada we use 2SLGBTQIA+, leading with 2S for two-spirit) is catching up with us in a lot of ways. The queer community has largely thought of queer as for/about genderqueer, and so when they see aros and aces and demisexuals and demiromantics, they have to either accept or reject that there’s a whole other layer of queer called relationship queer who intersect and overlap with genderqueer inside the bigger (and for some “newly bigger”) queer category/world/thing.

Being alone.

Alone is a complicated word for us. Aspec people experience a few kinds of alone-ness. There’s completion, which allos sometimes don’t get. We’re complete inasmuch as aspec people don’t have as many spaces in their lives where they need an “other half,” even though many of us spend a lot of our lives being told we have that space and we need to fill it. I wrote about that, here.

Then there’s the way we can can feel isolated from the bigger queer world because of the ways some people refuse to accept asexuality and aromanticism as queer, because they see it as a cishet thing, somehow.

We can feel isolated from traditional communities built around faith, politics, ethnicity, national identity, or even generational identity (GenX was wiiiiildly amatonormative), all because our defining differences are falsely interpreted as “new”. People misread our orientation as a phase, or a “made up internet thing” even though we’ve always been here. For ages, the world didn’t want to talk about all the asexual, aromantic, demisexual, and demiromantic people they could see everywhere—unlabelled, but plain as day—and now that we want to talk about ourselves, they’re going to say “you’re making that up”.

Then there’s the alone-ness of trying to explain how we do love, but differently. That one’s hard. I think that’s the one I’m going through the most, this year.

“See Also”:

Anyway, here’s a poorly-sorted and always growing “library” of links to my most popular social media posts, and stuff I’ve learned as an older ace. The recurring theme is that it really is going to be okay.

I’m still me, but now I know why. (How I explain my “thing” to straight friends who knew me from before I came out.)

Phase (You don’t outgrow it. I’m proof.)

Complete (Our complex relationship with “Alone”)

1994 (The counsellor story)

When I realized (Slow origin story)

Lifeline (Something bad happened to me when I was young, and believe it or not, Spider-Man rescued me.)

Recipe for Disaster (When life happens BEFORE you figure out your orientations)

Sexual Induction rather than a sexual awakening. (Things won’t always follow the romance novel playbook.)

Complicated. (Being queer AND Christian.)

Din Djarin Aroace Rep (We love. We just mostly do all the other kinds of love)

Treasure (a note to my trans friends)

Happy Ace Week (yes we’re here)

Masked (About not being out to everyone)

Negotiating (About gaining “acceptance” from the bigger queer community.

[waywardsou2]

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH QUEERS

Shout out to all of my He/Hims

To my She/Hers

To my They/Thems

To my It/It's and my Ze/Zirs

To my AFABs to my AMABs

To my intersex siblings

To my trans brother, to my trans sisters and my siblings in between.

To my mentally ill queers, to my disabled queers, to my system queers, to my alter human queers.

To all of my kids in the closet, to the kids that have been kicked out, to the kids that never felt good enough, to the kids who wished they could be anyone else, to the kids who are bullied and to the kids who aren't here with us.

To all of my adults who are in the closet, who were kicked out as kids, to the adults that still don't feel good enough, to the adults who wished they could be anyone else, to the adults that are kicked out of jobs and bullied and to the adults who made it so far, but couldn't keep going.

To those who's lives and loves were taken from them and those who were oppressed for their identity.

To my bisexuals, to my pansexuals, to my aces and aros, to my confused as fuck queers and to everyone everywhere.

I love you and you are loved. You will always be loved, there will always be someone out there for you.

Never stop fighting, never stop living, never stop being you. But never stop being compassionate, never stop loving and never stop looking out for others inside and outside the community.

And thanks to the allies, for sticking up for your friends and loved ones.

Happy Pride, cheers to another year!

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hi, I know it's been a while but it's allo (autistic? unsure what tag to use) anon here again. I just wanted to say congratulations on the project! I showed it to my girlfriend and she was really happy, when it comes out we will definitely read it together. I am proud to see you doing new and exciting things, and I wish you nothing but the best in your future endeavors! You're doing amazing already and I look forward to seeing you continue on whatever path you want to take with your creative work :)

Sorry I didn't message again sooner, things in real life have been... a lot. I still try to check this blog when I can. Your art is still adorable, and I also wanted to say thank you for your comics about fandom and the stuff that people say to aro/ace people. As someone who is very invested in media analysis(TM) and fandoms, I have noticed some behaviour that is really weird and uncomfortable, and it's good to see other people speaking out about it.

Also, not to decenter your experience, but the comic about labels really hit home for me. When I first got diagnosed it explained so much about my struggles and why I felt the way I did. It was groundbreaking to understand that I wasn't just a broken person or full of character flaws, but that things like sensory issues were just part of being who I am. I don't know if you meant it this way, but I really love the yellow colour of the thought bubbles and the little flowers. I know some people say it's pathologizing or too restrictive to cling to labels so much, but it really is a relief to be given something that helps you understand yourself and feel so much less alone. I am glad you were able to find your identity and community. It's so cool that now you get to make those posts, and probably reach others!

I just wanted to pop in again and say I love your stuff, and it's so cool to see other people loving and engaging with it too. I hope you have a wonderful day/night, passe une bonne journée/nuit <3

P. S. I hope that's how you say it, I'm using google translate.

Heyyyy!!^^ Thank you so much for reaching out again and for all the encouragement and support! I hope you and your girlfriend are doing OK^^ And please don't apologize for not reaching out for a while, I'm happy whenever you do at all but it's very fair to have a lot going on otherwise! If anything I hope things are a bit easier now, so to speak.

Also don't worry about decentering my experience by sharing yours when you relate! I'm a big believer in intersectional discussion, I think people from marginalised groups could benefit a great deal from standing together to defend common interests, and if we can relate to each other's experiences in some way even just a little, although we know and acknowledge they're all different, I'm sure we can go a long way. So I sincerely appreciate you sharing, honestly!! (I'm also really grateful you liked the way I graphically conveyed it, that is a challenge in and of itself^^)

Again, thank you so much for all the positive feedback and support, and thanks for taking the time to add some French in as well, very kind of you^^

Hope you have a great day ahead!

[oatflatwhite]

Absolutely feel free to not answer but I was wondering how you grew more comfortable being aro/ace? I’m 22 and ace (maybe aro too idk) and I recently ended an on again off again relationship and I am questioning if I ever felt anything towards him in the first place. Im kinda scared bc I love romance but idk if I’ll ever experience it? I wish I was as secure as you seem to be. Thank u in advance 🙂

hey anon :) thank you for reaching out! it's a really hard feeling to come to grips with so i hope i can help in at least a small way.

id'ing as aroace has been quite the journey for me. i've known i was ace for the longest time, but there was a period of several years where i denied even that (thanks 2016 tumblr discourse). eventually i realised that certain feelings would just never happen to me and that was ok - because i could still have romance, right? well!

i think it was around 2021 i kind of thought hold on. i've lived 23 years on this goddamn earth and don't think i've ever had a real romantic feeling/urge for someone who wasn't a fictional character/someone i didn't "force" myself to like because everyone in high school has crushes, right? so i thought about it and just went oh. oh! and it almost felt as though a weight came off my shoulders. like, yes, i was fucking bummed to realise i would probably never fall in storybook love. but there was this sense of a burden i could unshoulder because suddenly i wasn't beholden to the need to find that love, you know? i could just. be me. and even though it might make me sad sometimes, it's enough.

since then i've been up and down about it, absolutely. i even had a brief period last year where i convinced myself i actually did like this guy in real life! through a comedy of errors i realised that romance in my head was fine but any kind of real life interaction in that vein made me sick to my stomach fr lol. (for real! he had to drive me home in my own goddamn car bc i felt so ill.) i still get upset about it sometimes too. i mean, all i write is romance. i read and watch a lot of romance too. romance is every fucking where and it is so ingrained to be a part of everyone's lives that to try and distance yourself from it in order to feel more comfortable not feeling it is. virtually impossible.

where i am right now, 26 years old, 10 years into my ace journey and about 3 into my aro one, is here: i like my life. i love my friends. i can't force myself into a feeling that i will never have. and maybe at times i will be lonely and sad about it, but building a community has helped so much. whether that's with other aro/ace people, or just your friends or family or anyone else you trust with this. because romantic love =/= personal fulfilment, happiness, success. we've just been told it does. it just takes work to make yourself believe otherwise.

and it's ok to be sad about it. but even if you feel lonely, you're not alone.

also, because i'm nothing if not a girl who loves a bibliography, i would recommend checking out these sources:

loveless by alice oseman

ace: what asexuality reveals about desire, society and the meaning of sex by angela chen

this essay by k.a. cook

and pinging a couple blogs with some good aro resources, though i'm sure there's more out there! @aroworlds @arowitharrows

[avenpt]

Hi asking a question here because google is not enough I wanted real people’s opinions.

My partner and I have been together for almost 3 years; they are asexual, I’m not but I don’t care for having a relationship with sex anyway, that’s not important to me and I respect the boundaries we’ve established together (ex: we’ve never had sex; we don’t kiss all the time and I wait for them to make the first move if they want to show that kind of affection; we sleep in different beds and both enjoy the space). We have a romantic relationship, but I feel a disconnect sometimes and most recent events have led me to question wether or not they might be aromantic as well.

I understand aromanticism is on a spectrum, I’m wondering how and if I should ask them about it and from my experience I know there are right and wrong ways to ask questions related to LGBTQIA+ topics.

I just don’t know how to ask them if they would prefer us to keep being a couple or if they don’t feel the same way I do about our relationship and if I need to change something I do if it makes them unhappy or uncomfortable. Whatever their response is I would respect it and their boundaries, even if it means that we simply stay friends (we have been friends since 2010 I value their friendship very much).

Basically, how do I go about asking them without being unintentionally rude/offensive and without sounding like I’m saying “you don’t seem to love me like I love you”? I just want them to be happy in life and in our relationship, whatever the relationship ends up as. I also don’t want to accidentally pressure them into showing affection they might not want to get into because they think that’s what I meant. I just want to know where were at.

PS for more context: From what I understand when we started dating they didn’t know they were asexual, we talked about it so that’s why I know but we never talked about aromanticism. I’m trans non-binary and pansexual, they are also trans and initially said they were also pan or bi, but I haven’t asked more info of it and it hasn’t come up naturally. I’m also not sure they would outright say something about aromanticism because we both have this issue where we are scared of talking about deep feelings and emotions unless someone asks us direct questions. Otherwise we have good communication it just takes some time to find the right questions to ask.

Any advice?

Hello, anon. Thank you for reaching out! First off, you sound like an awesome partner, wanting to be understanding and respectful of your partner. I mean, that is how people *should* be, but they aren't always like that. So this is great you're taking the time to find out what is best.

Your partner could be aro-spec, and I understand you wanting to know how to go about this so you know that you're not making them uncomfy or anything. Aro-spec people can be in romantic relationships--I just wanted to put that out there first. It is just like aces being in sexual relationships. So your partner might be fine with how things are, even if they are aro.

If you would like to talk to them, perhaps you could bring it up in this way..."I know that you're ace, but have you also ever related to the term 'aromantic'? I just want to make sure I'm not making you uncomfortable by being in a romantic relationship. I want to learn and be the best partner I can be." Or something along those lines. That way, you allow them to say if they can relate, and also you're not putting anything on them (like making anything out to be their fault).

Best wishes to you!! Just do what you can. I hope it works out. :)

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Thumbprint Challenge

Thanks @oh-no-another-idea for the tag!

Rules: look back on your work, both past and present, finished and unfinished. What are five to ten narrative elements or tropes that continuously pop up in your work? Give a list of these things!

Back at my old work? Okay...not sure how much of these count but here are the commonalities:

Found family/importance of friendship. The focus on best friends from when I was a kid is very prominent in childhood writing and friendship is still a key part. Interpersonal relationships are a very important theme across everything.

Female main characters. Not sure if this counts, but almost all of my childhood works were about girls. My first male main OC was a character named Julian/Mikey (changed his name) in an old draft of TSP. Hell, my first male POV was my Warriors cats fanfic (they were OCs though) and the first time I wrote a male voice in first person was a character named Jesse in eighth grade.

Queer undertones. Looking back at my old work, a lot of my main characters were sapphic or ace/aro spec. Anahi and Marlis from what later evolved into SOTL were very gay for each other. Even Mossflower and Lemonfrost from my Warriors fanfic. The aforementioned Jesse was asexual-coded. Christy and Trish in TEOS. It was just always there as I hadn't figured myself out yet.

Dialogue-driven storytelling. Maybe not in early early writing, but like age 8 onward included a lot of dialogue. I've always been more character focused than environment focused, so I'd say this adds up.

Intelligent main characters. Most of my protagonists were emphasized to be very, very smart. It's interesting that I'm not a STEM person, but I am a former "gifted kid" so that may have something to do with it, but I usually emphasized this with a STEM field they were interested in. Christy from TEOS, math nerd. Hollyn from Perspectives, science geek. Twinkle in my bear cubs series as a kid, astronomer. Even in the Warriors fanfic the first POV is Mossflower the medicine cat. The only pre-high school time I can find where I emphasized intelligence that wasn't in a STEM field is Anahi, who was very literature based.

Multiple main characters. I liked a group of people, even if it was one POV. TSP D1 followed Alexia and Aurora, then they ran into four other people. 3+ was my usual. I guess it comes from the interpersonal relationships themes, like #1 talked about.

Fantasy elements. Man, I almost never write in realistic fiction. I mean, my earliest works were, but then I'd occasionally have an anthropomorphic animal pop up and now it's fantasy. Now, the only realistic fiction WIP I have on the shelf is Perspectives. Arguably IWAJAD because I guess someone can have a vivid dream where a character arc is forced upon them but idk.

Dramedies. I loved to incorporate humor among things I thought were high stakes. I like to be angsty but that doesn't stop me from being very silly. I mean, look at TSP D1. They are threatened to be killed and I still have humor in there. Good? No, but I still tried.

Communication I realize is a prominent theme. Oftentimes, things are not resolved due to not communicating, or I show communication allowing a character to experience comfort, or how not listening to someone leads to trouble, or how hiding a part of yourself isolated you, or acting like someone you're not pulls the wrong people in... So much, man.

I hope this is an okay list. I'll tag @gracehosborn @illarian-rambling @mk-writes-stuff @little-peril-stories @buffythevampirelover @dyrewrites @elsie-writes @sleepywriter00 @theelfauthor @theeccentricraven @thepeculiarbird @finxi-writes @writingsfromspace @winterandwords @revenantlore + anyone else

[capn-atlas]

UM JUST A DISCLAIMER BEFORE THIS INITIAL INTRO POST-we are currently very hyper fixated on the show Only Murders In The Building and are almost finished season three so no spoilers but this show is consuming my life right now so it will probably also consume this blog thank you

PLEASE TALK TO US ABOUT OMITB

our meet the artist/artists, I suppose. idk, its kinda us as a whole

Heyyyyyy!! Welcome to our blog. You can call us Rat or Atlas collectively. I am the host, Rat, and our system is called the Atlas system or Atlas' system. We have three definitive alters other than me, the host, and his name is Lennon (he uses he/they it prns) (he's not fronting rn so I'm just going to leave a space below for him to write his intro). We also have 2 littles called Eva and Riko who usually if not always front together.

Lennon's intro:

Eva and Rikos Intro:

We are bodily and collectively minors, so no funny business. 

We go by any/all pronouns collectively, but please don't use she/her too often, or when Lennon is fronting.

We are collectively agender, genderqueer, asexual and aromantic, and we have a few alters that are boyflux and/or non-binary, and I think we might have one girl but she's little and has yet to front

here is the post about our plurality

we are collectively therians, fictionkin, objectkin, and otherkin. 

Our ‘types:

A deer/wolf hybrid called Kinny (he/they) who has a wolf body, tail, ears and front or back paws (not sure which ones, I think they change) and deer antlers, head shape, and front/back hooves and can shapeshift into a humanoid creature with antlers and a wolf tail and elf-ish ears. He also has the ability to fly and the ability to change his size at will. 

A cat whose name I do not know, but it is either Stella, Mariella, Maribel/Maribelle or Nora (she/her). She is a silky black cat and can shapeshift into a witch with no animalistic qualities and she has the ability to change her age at will. 

dollkin

puppetkin

ratkin

QUESTIONING:

foxkin/a fox theriotype

I am also an artist and will occasionally be posting artwork on here. Mostly, though, this blog will be for our experiences as a closeted therian & agender system. Also random therian and gay stuff. And poems. Occasionally. And random stuff we think of. 

We'll probably be posting pretty often, and we'll let y’all know if that changes. 

JSYK:

We do swear occasionally but otherwise we're completely safe for minors which is good because I am a minor

We don’t respond to hate unless it’s especially funny

And our moots are awesome, love you guys❤️❤️🦌🐺🐈‍⬛

DNI: 

General assholes

any explicitly NSFW blogs- a few 18+ things are okay but DNI if your blog is completely NSFW 

ANY QUEERPHOBES(e.g. homophobes, transphobes, biphobes, aphobes-that’s aro and/or ace phobes) WILL BE BLOCKED

ANY ANTI-THERIANS/ANTI-ALTERHUMANS WILL BE BLOCKED

Zo0ph!les are not tolerated or accepted. Please go see a doctor. 

P3doph!les are not tolerated or accepted. Please go see a doctor. 

However, recovering/recovered zo0s are completely welcome. 

FURRIES≠THERIANS

THERIANS≠ZO0S

FURRIES≠ZO0s

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. 

We are very likely autistic but have not been diagnosed because we do not have a therapist even though we NEED ONE.

we, as a system, do not support the use of lesbian within m-spec communities but there’s no hate here, and you are still welcome have done our research on lesboys and the use of lesbian in m-spec communities, and apologize for our ignorance. We did not do any research at the time of writing this post and henceforth just did not understand the concept. We hope you feel welcome here.

we have a couple very strong opinions that we will not be debating anyone about. Opinions are just that. You can have your own and we can have ours. Just don’t try to convince us that that you are right. we will not do that, we will just let you know that this is what we believe. Here’s an example:

Omnisexuals do not equal pansexuals with preferences. Having no preference and not caring the gender of the person you are attracted to are two different things. Pansexuals can have preferences. For example, if you’re pansexual and you have a preference for women, and you see someone who you’re attracted to, and you talk to them and they say “oh yeah, I’m not actually a woman, I’m non binary”, you wouldn’t care, you’d still be attracted to them. Whereas if you were omnisexual and they told you they weren’t actually a woman, you might not be attracted to them anymore. This comes from a person who used to identify as panromantic with a preference for women. I have since realized I was aromantic, but I still have these opinions. DNI if you are going to try and debate me about this. 

userboxes by @kthecritter

here is a link to the post we made about opening requests for therian line art: https://www.tumblr.com/feethetalkingdeer/757851513949405184/attention-please?source=share

I think that’s it!!!

If you made it here, take this: 🏳️‍🌈 pride flag for you ❤️❤️

Oky byee! We hope to see you again soon!

oh and here’s my pronouns.cc if you’d like it:

(I've removed this link temporarily cause its under construction) (I'm making changes to the names and stuff that's on there)

[allthefujoshiunite]

Hi, Nora....My friend and I made a list of ace and aro characters from BL, and then we get to Love For Sale. We think Sieon is aro, based on he never regret his previous relationships until he is with Namwoo. And how he felt so indifferent about them. But what do you think? Also, do you have any BL characters that you think are ace or aro?

Great question! And thank you for giving me a chance to talk about Sieon. I'm always happy to do so. If you want the tl;dr answer, I don't consider him to be one. However, as is always the case on Wild Wild Web when you express a thought or preference, people take it as me condemning all the other thoughts/preferences. So here's a PSA: if you consider him Aro, good for you! You can interpret him however you like.

Also, lots and LOTS of spoilers for the uninitiated.

As for how I read his character. I think Sieon is hard to understand for a lot of people because they expect him to be either this or that and try to put him into categories he doesn't fully belong in. It's one of the reasons why I'm so enamored with Love for Sale as a whole, and Sieon in particular. Dal Hyeonji, even though this is their first commercial BL work, does an absolutely fantastic job in this character study.

Back to the point. When the story was still being released, I entertained a similar idea myself about him that, maybe he's demiromantic. Not a romance-aversed aromantic, but still a part of the spectrum. Then I kind of abandoned that as well.

We are a melting pot of our environments, cultural codes, family, and our characteristics. That's why most of the time, it's hard to make out whether you've become something due to some external force or you were that something before anything else. A very lame example would be, do I find red lipstick sexy because I find it arousing, or is it because it was marketed in such a way that I am conditioned to think it's sexy? Similarly, it's not always easy to tell apart whether your feelings are genuine, you feel like you have to feel certain ways towards certain people, or something impacted you in such a way that you don't feel a certain way anymore. I know I'm being vague but hopefully, it'll make more sense now.

Sieon, having to shoulder her mother's emotional well-being and their reversed parent-child roles, has found himself in a position where he seeks gratification through the things he can provide to his partners so he can feel 'needed'. The comfort he can provide for his partner becomes his purpose to be in that relationship. I was throwing him bombastic side-eyes very early into the story where he never expressed any type of preference and was very evasive whenever Namwoo tried to probe. Naturally, it was quite frustrating for Namwoo. As for me, it was as if Sieon was trying to erase himself from the relationship and be there for Namwoo as a combination of 'bank account + lips to kiss + a hand to hold' and blend into the ether as a person.

That's also why his relationships ended the way they did. He knew his mom wasn't happy, and even if he tried to alleviate her pain, it ultimately didn't work, thus, the one last good deed he could do for his mom was to let her go. To not be greedy. To not be selfish and say "I need you, don't go." This is the root of his letting go of his exes 'too easily', rather than him not 'loving' his partners.

Here's where things get tricky. Ideally, a romantic relationship requires you to be vulnerable, communicative, diplomatic, etc. Ideally. But none of us are exempt from carrying our baggage with us into the next relationship, no matter how big or small. In that sense, should we say that just because Sieon hasn't been perfectly vulnerable or has been avoiding conflict, he was never in a real relationship before? I don't think we can. 

One of the moments my heart ached for him was during his conversation with his close friend. He reiterates it later on when they're having the talk with Namwoo, but he desperately tries to convey that, no matter what his partners felt, whether they were satisfied on their own account or not, he was always genuine. Has always been. It may not fit the mold of grandiose, shouting-from-the-mountaintops, I'd-swallow-a-sword-for-you kind of love we are constantly sold in the romance genre, but that doesn't mean he isn't capable of love either. On the contrary, I think he does look for romantic companionship, but he just doesn't know how not to intellectualize his feelings.

So, in my opinion, "he didn't love anyone else before Namwoo" is not exactly the correct way to read him. Up until Namwoo decided that he was going to hold onto Sieon and 'show him a selfish love' in Sieon's mom's words, their relationship was following the pretty much same direction as the others. At first, Namwoo is content with what Sieon provides, but then he develops feelings for him and expects Sieon to return them in a way he can't. The same old story that is bound to end with a break-up.

Emphasis on 'in a way he couldn't'. The way I read it, his way of loving is different from what others deem as 'romantic love', so he's convinced that he can't reciprocate others' feelings. If that's love, and his feelings don't look like that, then he must not be in love after all. And when Namwoo shows Sieon that it's okay to be needy and selfish at times, and it's okay to be vulnerable and honest, we see that was the wake-up call he needed all along. 

The verdict? If you consider his past partners through the "he wasn't able to genuinely love them" lens and interpret his "not being able to reciprocate romantic feelings" literally, you can think of him as an aromantic who's not really averse to dating. But as I've tried to elaborate, rather than not feeling romantic love, he does feel love and seek companionship but doesn't know how to handle conflict and can't break free from the behavioral patterns ingrained in him in childhood. 

About aro/ase characters in BL. There's only one work that comes to mind which, interestingly, makes asexuality/demisexuality one of the core themes it explores and that's This is Love by Ziki Masaya. I have reviewed it before (click me) and I highly recommend it! I can maybe mention Sangwoo from Semantic Error, but then again, I think he's just autistic and his approach to romantic love for another guy is different from his normie boyfriend Jongchan because of that. I can't really think of any other works with Aro/ace characters as there's always romance/sex involved. Or maybe I just haven't paid enough attention! Let me know about the list you two came up with ~

PSA: I added the intro because the original link needs you to login to Lezhin as it's a Mature title, but you know the drill. Read on the official platfrorms!

[choicesmc]

8 for Fiona (+14 for you)

hihi o/ thank you for dropping by!! questions from [this] ask game

14. Do you have ocs on the aro or ace spectrum?

Yes! Rams is asexual and Rin is aromantic!!

8. Have they had struggles with their identity, be it due to internal or external reasons?

you have opened up the floodgates. I'll post the rest under the read more because it is long.

Both actually!

Starting with the internal side, when Fiona was 12 he learned about queer people through a church sponsored 'sex-ed' class over the summer in Nigeria. Nigeria is highly hostile to queer people. Needless to say, it was not a very accepting lesson.

It demonized queer people, made them monsters of the community, warned all of them to be careful because if these young children --barely starting their exploration of themselves-- weren't, then they'd get you. And if you were one of Them, then you weren't part of Us.

Being queer was to be a danger.

So what happens when Fiona, already struggling with wanting things outside the 'manly' sphere realizes he also wants other men? What happens to a child that has been taught that anything besides aggressive attraction to women is poisonous.

What happens is that child, Fiona, begins to self-isolate. He doubles down on being straight, doubles down on being a 'man', doubles down on being religious, doubles down on stifling himself for the sake of his community because if he didn't then he would damn them all.

And in the end, he's dying. He can't let anyone know why he's dying. They'd only kill him faster.

Even now years after coming out (it went horribly, worse than a disaster, and, uh, if Fiona could erase it from his life he probably would.) Fiona still struggles. There's the insistent doubt that he's wrong that none of what he is is normal. That he's killing the people around him because he is refusing to kill himself.

On the external side of things, we'll need a little context. So, in Igboland, no one really 'dies'. Igbo naming conventions have an order. The first son of a family is named after their paternal grandfather, the first daughter after their paternal grandmother, the second son after their maternal father and so on. This stems from a traditional belief that children carry the soul of their grandparents. A child is a continuation of a never broken chain of ancestors. So no family member is ever truly gone, they're simply in the next generation —just look.

But that also means his parents have a vested interest to make sure he marries a woman and has children. At least one girl and boy. Why? If he doesn’t then Fiona’s parents would truly die. There would be generation to see them in.

Fiona is an only child (he had a sister but she was stillborn). If they can’t make Fiona have a child then that unbroken chain of family will shatter with him. His parent cannot let that. They cannot raise a man who would murder everyone they love.

Fiona has a poison and they must give him an antidote even if it slaughters they only child they have. (<- note the use of ‘has’ —as if Fiona’s bisexuality and non-conformity is something he can throw away if they just press hard enough)

Right now, Fiona’s parents are trying to socially isolate him. They haven’t spoken to him in any meaningful capacity since his 2nd year at law school.

In summary, Fiona is facing social isolation from his family + internal struggles!

good times 😬

[xenonsdoodles]

Dimimi!

DIMIMI!

(first of all I have to note that this was sent approximately one second after I reblogged the post. incredible. thanks so much)

    First impression:

I was obliquely aware of throuses long before I actually played it, so on my first actual playthrough it was something like “oh right it’s this guy. people are weird about this guy. surely I won’t be weird about this guy.”

    Impression now:

I cannot overstate how weird I am about this guy.

    Favorite moment:

So the thing is that if I try to pick anything that’s a major part of the plot I am just going to end up picking like. half the scenes in the entire route. Instead of doing that I’m going to say I liked the support where he tricked Ashe into telling him which sweets to buy him. That was cute.

Honorable mention: in my VW run when he killed my (comically over-leveled) Byleth in one hit and I had to go back in time and do some Actual Strategical Thinking to keep him from doing it again. I was yelling in real life.

    Idea for a story:

I have simultaneously a lot and not enough :)

One of them is a potentially multi-chapter mess in which he and Felix gradually repair their friendship using Byleth as a go-between, which might end up being good. Or I might never get it to a point where I like it enough to post. idk. explodes in a silly way

    Unpopular opinion:

I love curating my fandom experience so that I barely ever see bad takes about him and I don’t have to engage if I do :)

Uhhhh unpopular opinion: I love him so much (it’s unpopular because my irl friends keep bullying me for it) (I use the word “bullying” lightheartedly here ofc, we all love mimi in this house)

    Favorite relationship:

I mean do I really need to. do I really need to say what it is. I think we are all well aware of my favorite relationship for Dimitri, by this point,

…ok honestly though I am actually pretty picky about what variety of dimileth I actually like. The deeply weird version of their dynamic that exists in my head Compels Me and I am doing my absolute best to communicate through my art and fic what the hell that actually means. So far I don’t know if I’ve been successful but I sure am going to keep trying.

ALSO. I am not exclusively a dimileth enjoyer, and I LOVE so many of his relationships that aren’t necessarily romantic. Dimitri’s arc is about, among other things, learning to recognize that people love him and that it’s okay to lean on them if he needs to, and god do his friends really love him so fucking much. I got his paired ending with Dedue in my og run, and they are. So important to me. I can see them as platonic or romantic and it doesn’t matter because either way they love each other and they save each other’s lives all over again every single day and I am Definitely Not Crying About It.

    Favorite headcanon:

I have a lot of small and mostly unspoken headcanons in mind when I write and draw him, but it’s hard to articulate any one of them on its own. I’m gonna serve my own All Of You Are Weird Aspecs character agenda and say I think he’s grey-aro, grey-ace, bi, and Not Normal About It and no I’m not projecting in any way who said that

obligatory Him

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

hello, its me! the anon who asked for your opinion abt shipping Alastor with other characters :)

firstly, thank you for answering! i totally agree that, if you build on a character's canon aro/ace orientation, then shipping them would be okay. ive just heard other people say doing that was aroace erasure, and i didnt feel like i had much say, because (as previously stated) im aceflux and nebularomantic.

my sexuality fluctuates, and i cant really tell the difference between romantic and platonic attraction, which is why i didnt feel qualified to put out my opinion on such matters

i also feel like i should apologize, bc i kinda feel like my ask may have snowballed into some sort discourse? idk, just from what i saw when looking at the blog every now and then, it looked like some shit was going down, revolving around Alastor 😭

now, onto why im here: why should someone do if a person they looked up to, who outwardly supported the aroace community, turns out to be a horrible person? (im sure that some people reading this can already guess who im talking about)

i feel so icky about the situation, bc ive supported and loved this person for years. all of the songs theyve ever written have been so aro-coded (as said by aromantics), and a vast majority of their fanbase is aromantic/on the aro/ace spectrum, myself included. they even spoke about their love for the aromantic community openly, and now, with them being exposed as a horrible person, i dont really know how to feel. is there any advice you could give me and others who are in the same boat? /nf

—sincerely, 🦢🦌

No it’s all good! The discourse was started by me ducking up and some people taking it slightly to far.

Unfortunately I do know who you’re talking about. I was in that fandom back in 20-22 ish, and I couldn’t be happier that I left. Honestly. I don’t know ANYthing about the situation other then someone being revealed to be a piece of shit for some reason and I would like to keep it that way:

I don’t need to know the details about what this person did.

Small side note before I begin:

I think the problem is a lot of people have put people like that on a pedestal while not knowing anything about them. 

The big difference between e- celebrities and true (actors, singers, rich assholes ect) celebrities is the accountability of the public. True celebrities have been held accountable much sooner and to much more effect then e-celebrities due to the fact that the media cares what they do. The paparazzi ect

People talking about not listening to said persons music anymore: reminder that it’s not only them who produces and plays that music. Don’t listen to their solo shit, burn CDs rip it off YouTube, piracy is on the rise.

The rest of the people involved with the band are NOT at fault here and their career and income should not have to suffer for an asshole.

“Cancel” the person not the team.

You can still relate to something without relating to the asshole

You can still relate to something without being the asshole

Be respectful

Listen to victims

And a word for my aspecs ->

The amount of straight people who are just as bad doesn’t matter here, no matter what happens next, all people will see is “he supported aroace spec people” and will try and use it.

Ignore that block them and report harassment

Stay safe anon