#Tell me about your thoughts so I can mitigate my own

[inkyweenus]

Thinking about time travel and all the secrets Lu Guang is keeping. And how long he's been keeping them.

And also what his limitations are... because I don't think he knows as much as he thinks he knows.

I've got a lot of thoughts and a lot of questions. I tried to organize them in the hopes to maybe work out some ideas, but it got a bit... Much. Weigh in if you have thoughts because...I'm clearly vibrating in place wanting to talk about this. But anyway, here we go.

How is the present affected by future dives into the past? (Alternate timelines or pre-determined track)

This section is basically me asking a lot of questions that might just be writing holes or maybe not and we just don't find out for, like, 6 years. And that's fine. I'm here for it, I just need to sort out all these theories in my head.

In S1E9, LG looks into the surveillance photo and sees CXS on the solo dive. Is this because CXS was currently in the photo? Is it because CXS had already done the solo dive and so LG was seeing the affected photo? Is it because CXS was always going to go into the photo, so LG saw the past that always was going to be?

When Liu Min called from Xu Shanshan's phone, was it because CXS was always going to set up the meeting? What if CXS hadn't come to that conclusion and didn't reveal himself in Shanshan's body? Would the call have never happened? Does Lu Guang allow this huge "deviation" because he saw it was supposed to happen? Did he lie about what he saw in the photo? Was his elevated concern in that moment he claimed was about CXS's potential mental state while of going into his friend's potentially dying body actually about CXS starting the game? Is he just as clueless as everyone else and now everything is spiralling?

Chen Xiao. Chen Xiao, Chen Xiao. Oh man. "Nothing will be affected" my ass Lu Guang. Pretty sure you created an entire person that didn't previously exist from that mission. Sure, all the people that were supposed to die in the earthquake died, but Chen Xiao did NOT have a wedding ring on when he came to the photoshop to hire them. He was a miserable man with regrets he couldn't move past, including missing his "first love." Now, I get that first loves have a lot of weight, but he's like 30+ and so desperate... this is not a man who looks at his wedding ring with care and sings his son to sleep. But he becomes that. Where did that child come from?!?

Just because the 12 hours after the photo are the same doesn't mean that the 12 years after it are. Lingering resentment--or the lack thereof-- is a strong shaping force. Also. Chen Xiao's lack of regrets from a successful mission means that he never would have hired them to dive in the first place. So to make it full circle, Chen Xiao "returns" to the photo shop (for the first time?) to have CXS develop the photos he took himself on the camera he saved from the wreckage...And, I have to assume from the implication of a new timeline, THAT is how they get paid for the job. How much are they charging to develop film? Was it worth it??

Does LG even know about this kind of change? Is it just too far out of his range to see? He didn't seem to know about Emma until he saw the news, so maybe he's limited in what he can see, but he found that article pretty fast, so maybe he knew something was happening. It's hard to know.

What are the extent of LG's powers? Is he from the future?

He always says not to ask about the "past or future." I assumed this meant the future of the past that CXS was currently in, but what if he also means the future of the present that we're currently seeing? Can he see the future of the present he's in now?

In season 1, he knew that CXS would appear as himself when he dove into the surveillance camera footage. How? It was obviously CXS's first time doing that, but maybe not LG's. If it was his first time, how did he know?

We recently learned that he can see the present through surveillance footage the same way he does looking at footage of the past. Does this mean he can also see 12 hours into the future? It's 20:44 when LG unlocks Chen Bin's phone, so it's probably around 21:00 when he uses his powers. Does he know how things will unfold? Does he see the twins moving through the building? Does he realize there are two of them?

He's obviously been up to something this whole season: watching the clock, hiding photos, opening up stitches without much physical effort beyond using his powers... 🤔

My current crack theory is that LG reopening his stitches while using his powers to watch the fight is actually related to him escaping and/or jumping off the boat to free CXS. I'm not sure how because it's definitely more than 12 hours between the events, but something is up.

It's not surprising to me that CXS and Wang Juan were controlled through touch. The moment Li Tianxi reached out her hand to shake CXS's I yelled at my TV. It looked too similar to LG reaching out to start a dive.

And I yelled even louder when she made contact

CXS can dive on his own and LG can see into a photo on his own. The physical touch only connects their minds, it's not necessary to activate the powers. Could LG touch CXS and communicate telepathically without diving into a photo if they had an activation touch? Does LJ need a time travel element to get into CXS's head?

I think Li Tianchen's powers at least are touch related because when he touched Xixi, CXS lost his connection with LG. But I think there may be something else going on with the twins. I'm just not sure what I think yet. We wouldn't know if one was possessing the other because their eyes are the same.

How do the powers manifest, and what does that mean for Lu Guang's backstory?

I think we saw the moment when Li Tianxi and/or Li Tianchen acquire powers. Was it a predisposition that unlocked during a highly traumatic moment or did it just manifest somehow from an extreme desire to take control of the situation?

Li Tianxi was a child who wanted to communicate and be present but felt trapped in her over stimulated body. Li Tianchen was a boy with strong ideals and a sense of protectiveness... without the strength of an adult body to follow through with that protection. While they were holding the photo, huddled together in close physical contact after Tianchen's head injury, one of them or the combined force of them was able to 1.) take over their mother's body and 2.) blank out Xixi's mind to the point of cutting CXS's connection with LG and eventually the whole photo. But something went very wrong along the way. Maybe some signals were crossed.

CXS is a highly empathetic person. He feels so much for everyone and wants to connect with people emotionally. And his powers reflect that. We know CXS has probably at some point had a strong enough desire to go back in time, if anything to see his parents.

What, then, do the circumstances look like for a logical, emotionally reserved--but deeply caring--person to acquire powers to see snapshots of the past? What would drive him to want to change the past so much that he manifests these powers?

We know CXS had never done a dive without LG before he temporarily went rogue in S1E9... because he didn't know he could do it until he tried.

We know S1E1 isn't the first time they dive. CXS nags LG about having heard the rules a hyperbolic amount of times. So the powers aren't new at this point. But I don't think they both had powers before they met. So how and when did they get their powers? Was it when they met? When they travelled abroad? After some accident or something?

LG just shows up in CXS's life unannounced. Twice. And that's how they got close. Was it just the random fated meeting of soulmates as per fiction standards or did LG intentionally seek out CXS for more timey-wimey reasons? Did meeting LG activate CXS's powers? Did they experience something together to have compatible abilities? Did LG already have his and teach CXS how to manifest his own? How much did LG already know before he picked up that basketball?

I have this other crack theory that I absolutely hate and don't want to be true at all and almost certainly isn't, but, like...what if if LG and CXS are actually the same person from different timelines. Like LG is a version of CXS that doesn't get to have familial love and maybe experiences too much trauma, and he goes back in time to give himself some semblance of a home and a set of rules to hone his powers without altering the timeline that he's actively changing. They're intentionally written to be two halves of a whole, and there's been more than one joke made about LG being a ghost or not existing. I hate it. But it's in my head.

One last question for today... because I have to wonder:

Who makes the rules?

Has LG just read enough books to feel knowledgeable about how time travel works? Is he from the future trying to maintain a desired outcome? Are they following the rules of a third party who's orchestrating the flow of events from a distance? Are they... Leaving their fates to the ones who aren't in control?

[raayllum]

I've thought about Terry and Rayla parallels before ("I think too much, get confused about the right thing to do" / "says I think too much about everything" / elves supporting their mages / Rayla leaving as love vs Terry refusing to leave as love / lovingly watching your partner sleep, etc etc). Even the way they can sometimes enable Callum and Claudia's actions.

This is more true, of course, in Terry's case than Rayla's, but in a similar vein that their bonds of love are unbreakable (look at Rayla and Runaan) and that it would take a LOT for Rayla to ever even consider maybe that Callum could make a Seriously Bad Decision (she got straight up told he had a heart full of darkness and went "you're the best/goodest person I know" + the idea of Callum being controlled by Aaravos in a bad way being unfathomable to her in S4).

However what I want to talk about today is their attitudes towards dark magic.

Part of why Terry loves Claudia, I think, is that he doesn't see anything 'wrong' with dark magic. He's seen her do "a lot of awful things, dark magic things" but dark magic to him is also useful and fine and has a tingly aftertaste. It's not a hangup for him with Viren or Claudia; all he see is that she has a Good Reason, and that's all he needs, because there's no moral wedge in the way to begin with.

That doesn't mean he has zero discomfort with dark magic ("You think if dark magic did this to someone, they might not do it") or Claudia's actions ("The way you treated that Moonshadow elf, it was just cruel" / "Please, Claudia, you don't have to do this, it's trapped, you won").

But even Sir Sparklepuff's murder gets couched under "had a good reason" because it did bring Viren back, which Terry happily joyously celebrated when it happened. With all that in mind, Terry has always reminded me of Ethari — you fell in love with someone who engages in "dark work, bloody work" (Lost Child) and you knew what it would involve, and love them regardless. That's not a choice or mindset that's easily broken, but it does lead to Terry's lack of assertiveness fucking him up in ways that Claudia's passivity can too ("Please Terry, tell me what to do" / "[to Aaravos] Tell me what to do").

Terry's lack of moral qualms with dark magic is clearest to me in 6x04 in some ways, because of this exchange with Claudia:

C: All I see is parts, for spells. T: But...? C: But it's so adorable!

His but being an 'okay but WHY is this a problem for you now?' not 'yeah Sounds Concerning (and like a red flag) jc'. Claudia says she's all messed up inside, but Terry (for whatever reason) can't fully conceptualize what she means. This also leads to him not truly understanding what it is and what it's doing to his partner (probably because he met her when she was already more than mid-spiral) because if Terry fully understood how it was hurting her...

Don't you think he'd tell her to stop?

Meanwhile, even though Rayla does have moral qualms with dark magic, she doesn't focus on any of them in her argument with Callum just an episode earlier. Instead, it's all about him and the risk it poses to him and his emotions.

But most importantly because it makes you more vulnerable to the thing you're most afraid of.

Not "well Aaravos could control you and that'd be bad for everyone else / the world" but that it scares him, it hurts him, it puts him in danger. Granted, she still switches to the greater good concern later both for mitigating the harm Callum might do ("If you ever have to choose between me or the greater good, do the right thing: make the sacrifice") and on her own end ("Yes. I promise [to kill you]" + "taught me to never break my promises") but that's not her primary concern, at least not in my head.

And it's precisely because of those reasons that Rayla tells him very overtly what to do, both in regards to sacrificing her and in regards to saving him:

Rayla has unbreakable bonds of love, too, nor are her moral qualms about dark magic why she's making this point. It's because her main drive has always been to protect Callum, not even necessarily to help him, and therefore his safety is at the top of her list, so if something hurts or puts him in danger, she's going to tell him to knock it off. (And that includes saving her, but anyway.) Their mutual assertiveness with one another is one of the reasons why Rayla and Callum work, and one of the reasons Terry and Claudia were going to crash and burn, because Callum is likewise Rayla's anchor, and Terry and Claudia didn't realize they needed to be each other's until it was too late

I risked losing the best thing I ever had: you.

[yourheart-inmyhands]

hiii! I’m currently crying because I really like the Tsaritsa but there’s no content of her! Like anywhere!! I know that you are very busy but please bear with me😅 I’m sorry if I’m bothering you btw 😢

what if Yandere!Tsaritsa has a lover who loves to cause trouble/hates the Fatui. It’s to the point she can’t maintain them, do you think she’ll ask her harbingers for help? Like have the 9th bribe them with money in order to keep them away from going on with their evil villain schemes 😈(just that they’re trapped in the middle of nowhere and don’t have much freedom..) or just have a harbinger check up on the Tsaritsa s’ s/o each once in a while

by the way, I feel like I may come here a lot (I normally do, but I don’t request) so can I be 👛 anon? 🙏🙏 thank you for reading, I know this was trashy (it’s my first time requesting 😭)

Hi i'm sorry it took a bit to get to this, i was worried about not being able to do good enough and wanted to make sure i could do your request justice! if you're still interested in being an anon for my blog i would love to have you :D

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including delusional behavior, implied being held against ones will, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

While she isn’t against asking the Harbingers to get you under control, she prefers to handle you herself. The Tsaritsa knew what kind of responsibilities she’d be taking on when deciding she wanted you, and thus she tries to avoid relying on them. At first, she tried to mitigate any negative feelings between you and her Harbingers by having you attend meetings with her, Fatui-related events, and other such things, but she has quickly learned it’s better to leave you in your shared bedroom and deal with any attitude when she returns home. 

During times when she has to be away from Zapolyarny palace or outside of Snezhnaya and can’t bring you, she’ll task one of her dear Harbingers with your care. It’s usually Pantalone or Capitano, Pierro is generally too busy, Pucinella is too easy on you, and the others have quirks of their own that she doesn’t hold high faith in. 

Long, slim fingers brush through the strands of your hair, tucking back any loose pieces and fixing the parting as she mulls over a thought in her mind. The Tsaritsa knows she has only another hour or so with you before she has to set off again, leaving you in the capable hands of her dear Harbinger Capitano. She hasn’t yet broken the news to you, knowing you’ll pitch a fit that is better dealt with by giving you space to lash out. She’d chosen Capitano this time specifically because you’d been extra testy lately, plotting escapes and trying to fight some of the lower-ranked guards posted outside your door. The large man could take quite a beating and she was hoping he’d be up for the challenge of your care. “My sweet Snowball, I’ve neglected to inform you until this point, but I have to leave Snezhnaya for some time. A minor god has appeared in a nearby nation and sparked trouble, Celestia has requested I step in to assist in handling them.” Her fingers pause in your hair for a moment before pulling away, allowing you a moment to process what she has told you. 

As much as she hates to do it, she often lies to you about where she’s going or why she has to be out of Snezhnaya. The Tsaritsa knows of your dislike for the Fatui and their motives, but she cannot simply halt her plan because you are heartbroken over it. Thus, she often will tell you false information, playing the part of the darling Archon that Celestia expects of her, but only in front of you.

Really, she rarely leaves Snezhnaya, often traveling to different parts of her nation to handle difficult tasks that the calloused hands of her Harbingers are not capable of. She has on occasion ventured out of the controlled walls of her nation, daring to visit neighboring ones in search of valuable items or materials, but she prefers to stay in Snezhnaya. While she may be powerful and well capable of defending herself, she sleeps easier at night knowing that you are within the same nation as her.

[ireadwithmyears]

how these clones would be with a visually impaired significant other: part two

part one |visually impaired reader masterlist

Pairings(individually): marshal Commander Fox, commander Wolffe, and captain Howzer/visually impaired reader

warnings: explicit, not very detailed but descriptions of sexual content (18+: minors DNI) implied light bondage (I can’t help it, Wolffe is just like that), implied oral (F receiving) light angst, overprotectiveness, insecurities related to blindness, fluff, hurt/comfort

Word count: 3.7 k

requested by @clonethirstingisreal

thank you so much for the request, and I really hope you like these. If other readers would like to request a specific trooper for these, just send me an ask or a message and I am more than happy to keep going.

note: though the reader is visually impaired, my hope is that you do not need to be visually impaired to enjoy or relate to aspects of these. Also, I am a blind girl working without a beta and admittedly, I only lightly edited these for the sake of my own sanity. So there are probably still going to be mistakes that I didn’t catch, just as a heads up.

❤️Marshall Commander Fox❤️ 

Fox is both terrified and in awe of your independence and perseverance. 

He respects how seamlessly you navigate the world around you, even if he knows that it’s not as seamless as it looks. He admires how unfazed you are by new challenges, even if those challenges are enough to make his eyebrows raise in concern.

You’re telling him about how construction has kind of messed with the usual route you take to work and how you had to take an extra 20 minutes to figure out how to work yourself around it, and you’re talking about it so nonchalantly as if you didn’t get lost like five times, not to mention you had to take several detours down Coruscant’s lower levels to work around it.

Listen, as Marshall commander of the guard, he’s encountered the absolute worst of humanity and criminals, so forgive him if the idea of you wandering around and lost when he knows that those types of people could be around anywhere in your vicinity sends him into a mini heart attack and his protective instincts into overdrive.

And yes, there is an overdrive, and you may have to temper it a little. 

This probably would have happened regardless of your blindness. It’s just how he operates. Fox is always on guard, always thinking of potential risks and security issues, and always strives to mitigate them before they actually arise. So, at first, you think nothing of the fact that near the places you frequent, your work, the coffee shop you go to the most, there’s always a guard member stationed in that general vicinity.

But his vode aren’t always good at keeping secrets, and so when one of them accidentally lets it slip that the commander has them Stationed there in particular regard for your personal safety, you are not pleased.

So not pleased that when the other guard members see you marching through headquarters, either your cane incessantly tapping against the floor or your guide dog trotting along your side as you angrily speed walk, they’re immediately wondering what in the name of the force did Fox do to piss you off.

It’s not in your nature to make a scene. But for once, you barge into his office without a second thought, demanding an explanation. 

You’re the only one who can storm into his office like this, the only one who, when he looks up and sees you, his glare will immediately soften, not that you take note of that. 

He explains that because you’re part of a more vulnerable populace, more likely to be targeted, he had put these precautions in place to try and keep you safe. 

This would be the typical over protective, annoying speech if you couldn’t hear the worry and concern, so uncharacteristically unmasked in his voice, and when you cross to his desk, taking one of his hands, you can feel it trembling in your fingers. 

This tempers your anger a great deal and when you next speak, it is softer, continuing to hold his hands. “Fox, I love you, and I’m grateful that you’re looking out for me and trying to keep me safe. But, did you think about how that would make me feel?” You ask, and at the lingering silence, you continue. “I have spent my whole life learning how to be independent in spite of the vision that I don’t have. For you to do that, as well-meaning as it was, it makes me feel like I’m nothing more than just a child who can’t go out without supervision.”

You hesitate for a moment, weighing your words before deciding to speak them.

“When you look at me, i is that what you see?  Just someone you need to worry about all the time?” You ask. 

He’s shaking his head before you even finish that sentence, swallowing heavily before his hands tighten around yours, drawing them close. It’s his turn to weigh his words. It’s a skill that as a clone, as someone who was raised to believe that his thoughts and opinions shouldn’t hold weight, it takes him some time, because he needs these words to hold true, for you to feel them as heavily as he speaks them.

“No, cyar,” he says, voice low and swallowing heavily. “From the first moment I met you, your unwavering resilience. Your quiet confidence and independence is so, so beautiful.” He pauses, taking the time to turn your hands over in his, kissing the back of your knuckles with a downcast expression in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, meshla. I can see how my actions would make you feel like I don’t trust you, which is far from the case. I know that you are so, so capable.” he leans across the desk, pressing his forehead against yours as his voice drops to an almost timid whisper. “But I’m still going to worry.”

“I know you are,” you say softly, mirth entering your voice when you next speak. “I would expect nothing less from my overprotective commander,” you smirk. “So, let’s compromise.”

The compromising comes much later, because first, Fox feels that he must apologize to you more deeply, more eloquently than his words will allow.

This apology consists of him lying you across his desk, burying his face between your legs, and worshipping you with his mouth, which to you, is more than acceptable, and by the time he’s finished, you’re so blissed out that you can’t even remember what the two of you were talking about in the first place or why you were mad at him.

The second part of this apology comes into play with a trust exercise that you suggested. It involves Fox putting on a blindfold and letting you guide him through levels of Coruscant and crossing some of its more populated streets.

He’ll never admit that it scares the shit out of him, but every time you’re crossing a street with him holding your elbow, you can feel his hand tightening around your arm and you can tell that he is. You take him to a much more residential street, show him how you use your ears to determine the flow of traffic, and then ask if he wants to try it, with reassurance and a kiss on the cheek to let him know that you’ll stop him if he makes the wrong call so that he doesn’t get hit by a speeder.

Unsettled by that last remark, but never one to back down from a challenge, he does, and the day ends with him being even more in awe of you, but feeling a sense of nuanced understanding that he didn’t have before, which he both appreciates, and finds settles him a little.

Your part of the compromise is that he gives you a device that can send your location and track you in case of emergencies. If you get into trouble, you hit a button, and he’ll be notified of where you are, and if you move. This data will also be shared with several other trusted members of the guard, namely Thorn and Hound, so that the nearest guard to your position can get to you quickly if needed.

You also ask that Fox teaches you self-defence training, recognizing that both his military prowess and hand to hand expertise would really help you feel more secure in being able to protect yourself. He is more than happy to do so, and, in spite of his worry that he won’t be good at teaching you the proper technique, he finds that it comes naturally. He loves getting to see your confidence channelled into a feisty, fighting side.

And well, if the lessons get somewhat sidetracked once he’s got you pinned to the training mats with your wrists above your head because you just look so damn irresistible, can you really blame him? 

At the end of the day, Fox will always be protective of you. But he finds different, and much more satisfying ways, to channel it. 

Being Marshall commander of the Coruscant guard affords him certain privileges and loopholes, which he takes full advantage of when it comes to you.

Meaning that that bakery employee who ranted at you for asking if something was available because “do you see it in the window? No, so clearly, it’s out of stock,” suddenly finds herself without a job.

That Uber driver who refused to take you and your guide dog because he didn’t want to deal with dog hair in the back of his car suddenly finds that his license has been suspended indefinitely. 

He doesn’t bother you by telling you about any of this, knowing that you would feel bad, but also knowing that you probably wouldn’t be surprised. 

What can he say, his sense of spite and drive to seek vengeance towards anyone who has wronged or hurt you is how he best shows his devotion and love.

*

🩶Commander Wolffe🩶

Wolffe was not aware that his default tone was grumpy all the time.

Well, okay, maybe that was a stretch. Maybe he was aware of it in the back of his mind and maybe he never bothered doing anything about it because well, as a commander, it was useful.

It helps to be able to correct the behaviour of a few rowdy shinys by just barking one singular word at them to get them to stop. Or just to get all of his men to listen and pay attention to him. That tone attracts their ears and their eyes up to him without question, and he likes that.

Regardless of how grumpy he may sound or look, he knows that they know that he cares about all of his vode, whether they’re just pups who haven’t earned their paint, or their longtime members of the pack. He displays his care in his actions towards them.

He’s realizing, though, that this approach doesn’t work for you as smoothly. 

He notices because sometimes, just in the smallest flicker of a moment, when he says something to you, something inconsequential, words that fall past his lips without being conscientious of the tone that they’re delivered in, you jump, you sometimes look up a little too quickly, a wary expression flashing across your face before it’s immediately stamped out and you relax again, as if it were never there to begin with. But Wolffe is observant, and he notices.

And he does not like it in the slightest. 

He begins to understand that not being able to use your eyes to see how others communicate with you, not Being able to read their Body language makes you very perceptive and sensitive to the tone of their voices, and how even the slightest hint of frustration, even if it’s not directed your way, makes you tense up or flinch, eyes scanning the room for a quick exit Just in case. 

He realizes that not being able to read the expression on his face, see the soft look in his eyes or the so rare upward turn of his lips every time he looks at you, makes you very reliant on both the words he says, and the tone he delivers them in.

He thinks that it’s going to be hard to tune back his natural grumpiness, but in reality, every time he looks at you, he feels like he’s seeing the first glimpse of sunshine through clouds, and he finds that It’s not that hard at all.

Wolffe is still Wolffe. Still gruff and stoic with that seamless authority that drew you to him so easily.

But his voice softens, loses its biting edge whenever he speaks to you. It takes effort at first, having to constantly remind himself to weigh the way he speaks. But after a while, Watching how your shoulders, instead of instinctively tensing, seem to soften and relax whenever you hear the sound of his voice, it becomes second nature to him. 

If he is frustrated, needing to vent to you about something, he will always take the time to reassure you when his tone shifts, because he knows that even if it’s not Directed at you, he can still frighten you with how gruff and irritable he can sound when he’s annoyed about something. Wrapping his arms around you from behind, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek before murmuring softly in your ear, “s all okay, cyar’ika, i’m not upset with you.” His hands will softly caress up and down your arms, your sides, until he feels you soften against him, and when he continues, he will be careful to make sure his tone remains measured. 

he trusts you, your independence and your abilities. However, if you are walking home when it’s dark outside, he insists that you call him as you go. 

This ends up being a thing that reassures you both, because regardless of if you have any vision or not, walking home at night is immediately unsettling, and if you’re anything like me, the slightest noise can immediately have you on edge and thinking that someone is about to sneak up on you. 

Wolffe can always tell, regardless of if you tell him or not. He can hear the hitch in your breath, the sudden tightness in your voice and he’s always there to encourage you and make you feel safe until you get home.

“You’re safe, cyar, i’m here. Take a deep breath, and keep that head up,” he speaks, voice both soft and an order into the COM device. “Act confident, even if you don’t feel it, and you’ll be home and in my arms before you know it.”

It’s always true, and your heart always stops racing the second he’s holding you, a silent, strong presence that always makes you feel safe and protected. 

If you rely on public transit like ridesharing apps, and your driver happens to either be lazy or not good at following directions because suddenly you’re dropped off on the wrong side of the street, which you didn’t realize until you got out of the car, your commander is on speed dial. 

Wolffe keeps you calm with his steady, reassuring voice, encouraging you to turn on your devices camera so that he can effectively guide you to where you need to go with verbal directions.

If you’re a blind person who gets insecure or self-conscious about how your eyes look different, Wolffe can sympathize.

He knows from experience with his own cybernetic that trying to change your view of how you think of them, trying to make you believe that they’re beautiful when you don’t feel like they are, is counterproductive.

Instead, he’ll remind you of all of the things he finds beautiful about you, all of the things he loves. And if words still don’t cut it, well... 

You might just find yourself tied to the bed you both share, all spread out and bare for him, unable to do anything except let him touch, kiss, worship and praise each part of your body, while also  leaving a collection of bite marks behind that contrast beautifully against your skin, and if you have any vision left, will be able to see. He pays special attention to places like your inner thighs, knowing that you’ll be able to look down and easily find his claims and promises later.

And because he’s Wolffe, and Wolffe is a teasing asshole to his core, if he’s feeling particularly annoyed with how little regard you view yourself, he might just edge you, over and over, only allowing you to come once you agree with him that you’re beautiful, which doesn’t take long for the words to come, but he does drag it out, only relenting when he actually believes the sincerity of them.

In much more innocent bedtime activities, if you have a guide dog, who also shares your bed, Wolffe becomes a jealous bastard.

He wants your cuddles to be exclusively his for the taking, and having to share with someone else simply is not fair and he will always grumble irritably About it.

You don’t worry about it too much, because whenever he thinks you’re not in earshot, he’ll give your guide dog a grudging pet and mutter a quiet “it’s a good thing you’re cute, and you keep her safe.”

Because that’s Wolffe. Impenetrable steel and seemingly implacable yet with a soft, tender warmth beneath it all that isn’t actually that hard to get to, if you earn his heart, and that’s exactly why you love him.

*

🩵Captain Howzer🩵

I think Howzer is a gentleman, like, golden retriever energy in the best way possible.

So naturally, with this golden retriever energy, he is very affectionate towards you, which you love. But, here’s the thing, when you’re blind, there are these little hiccoughs in the road depending on how much vision you have and yes, just in case I haven’t made this clear enough, blindness is a spectrum. 

For example, you love to kiss him, and you want to kiss him. But sometimes, initiating that can be not the most seamless, or romantic, if you have limited vision. Sometimes aiming for his lips isn’t as straight of a line as you think it is, which leads to aimless searching, making you feel embarrassed.

He picks up on it, pretty quickly. But, reading that it makes you embarrassed/discomforted just by the look on your face, he never brings it up, at least not verbally. He’ll just take silent note that you’re wanting to kiss him, gently take your chin in his hand, and guide your lips to meet his, the expression in his eyes incredibly soft and filled with adoration.

And, as he pulls away, he can see that your lips are about to form an apology or an embarrassed remark, so his thumb caresses over them instead, leaning forward again to whisper a soft “your beautiful,” in your ear, that leaves you shivering and forgetting all about your fumble.

Another result of his golden retriever energy is the fact that sometimes, he literally becomes a human guide dog. 

He’s always keeping an eye out as you walk for potential obstacles in the way, outdoor patios in the middle of sidewalks, steep upward curbs, always ready to offer an arm, especially if you’re going down a set of stairs that doesn’t have a railing.

You don’t say anything, but he sees the small smile on your face, the way you always seem to be one step ahead, and out of the blue, he asks “am I helping too much?” Because he’s fully aware of his tendencies.

“A little,” you concede with a small grin as you look up at him. “I let you because it’s so cute when you do it.”

Then you take his hand, and you show him how you navigate the world around you, whether it’s by feeling the way your cane taps against the curb, running along its edge to gauge how big it is, how it feels the obstacles around you so that you can maneuver around them. Or how your guide dog will stop walking and place it’s front paws on top of the street curb or staircase to show you that it’s there, and how you work as a team to find the safest way to maneuver around obstacles.

He’s very attentive as you show him, adoring even this glimpse of getting to see the world through your point of view and how you move through it. He asks for you to please, please tell him if he’s ever being over bearing in the name of trying to be helpful, because he doesn’t want you to feel like he’s ever doubting you or weighing you down.

He’s also very mindful of the things you can’t see in regards to your person when you’re out on a date. Like, if you’ve got a piece of lint or dog hair, usually in my case, on your clothes, he’s reaching over and gently picking it off, usually lingering for a kiss to your cheek and a soft “I’ve got you covered, cyar. You look lovely.”

If you’re wearing make up, recognizing that it takes more effort and hard work for you to do that, he becomes the king of reapplying it on the go just to make sure you’re always feeling good about yourself. 

You might’ve gone out for dinner and all your lipstick has come off after eating. No problem, he’ll reapply it with a precise, light hand. You went and saw a holofilm that made you cry all your mascara off. He might lightly tease you for that, not that he’s really complaining because he got to hold you while you pressed your face against his chest, but he’ll also carefully reapply it, a very focussed expression on his face as he’s always just a little bit worried when he gets near your eyes with anything.

And, it’s surprising, how good he is at it. How he seems to know what he’s doing. He’ll never tell, but he secretly watched tutorials so that he could learn, out of genuine fascination and because he wanted to be more helpful to you. 

Now, if you regularly wear make up, he’s the person you go to to spot check you in the morning, making sure that everything looks good and helping you clean up anything that might look out of place. 

Regardless, Howzer is your number one hype ma’am, always finding something new to complement about you unprompted. How cute you look in that top, how the colour of that one sweater brings out your eyes, how soft your hair is when he strokes it.

Howzer also quickly picks up on the fact that sometimes, if he touches you unexpectedly, you startle, before recognizing it’s him and settling again.

That simply will not do, so now, if you’re sitting beside him and he wants to place a hand over your thigh, he’ll reach out, but leave it hovering just above until your eyes flash with recognition and slowly, gently, settling it there, leaving you able to anticipate or pull away if the touch is not wanted.

If he comes home to you and catches you by surprise, it’s rare but happens sometimes, he’ll come up behind you, gently place his hands on your shoulders with a Quiet “just me, love,” waiting until they relax beneath his palms before he’ll fully wrap his arms around you, nuzzling his face against your neck, breathing you in.

That’s your captain. He’s observant, he’s deliberate in everything he does, and he’s captivated your heart, which he will take the upmost care of, holding onto it as tightly as he holds onto you.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA? I tried to ruin a small business's reputation.

[20F] I went to a clothing store in which they sew the clothes themselves. There is a number of designs and colors you could choose from and if your size isn't available or you wanted to add your own spin on it, they can make one on request but it's basically 40% more expensive. And you're supposed to pay percentage of the price as a down payment in case they make the dress and you fail to pick it up.

Such businesses are common in my country and it was my first time going to this particular place. I'm plus size and tend to have the clothes tailored to my specific size because my size is rare.

Anyway, there was a very killer design that I loved for an outfit that was basically a skirt and a lab coat sorta look. I tried the available size but it was too tight on me so I asked them make one with my measurements and while I was at it, I chose the blue color which is my favorite. 💙 I clearly said blue and nodded when they grabbed the blue fabric. The outfit costs what would be about 120$ and I foolishly chose to pay around 80$ because I didn't have change on me and down payments are cash only, they don't accept credit cards. And by the way, that's a LOT of money in our currency but I thought nothing of it as I was never let down before by these businesses and I needed the outfit to be more comfortable at work.

Not sure what happened but when I came to pick it up, the outfit was gray. 👎 I said that wasn't what I ordered and the cashier gaslighted me into believing I chose gray and for a split second I started believing I somehow chose gray because the blue fabric was kinda pale, then I noticed the pale blue fabric right behind the gray one and pointed at it telling them it was my order and I stood my ground and insisted my order was blue. We kept arguing back and fourth and I told her to make another one. She refused because "the business will lose if they do that." I said that's not my problem and I want the blue outfit, they can put this one for sale to mitigate the loss. She refused because they will have to sell it for a cheaper price plus I was too fat and nobody will probably look for this specific size and once again said it wasn't my problem. She said it was criminal of me to deny "a perfectly great outfit" just based on its color and I told her blue was my favorite color and I refuse to leave without them agreeing to make a new order order, I certainly would have just left if I haven't paid that down payment.

Then she decided to pin the blame of her mistake (she was the one who took my order) on the expat tailor and tried to make him responsible for paying for the difference. I was unsure of what to do and I didn't want the poor overworked guy to pick the slack for someone else but at the same time I wanted the blue outfit. Seeing that I was firm she basically said she would give me a discount. I refused multiple times while she insisted.

Honestly I'm a socially anxious weak pushover that only very recently started learning and practicing to stand on my own that I was surprised I had stayed firm during this whole ordeal, but I was reaching a limit and the employee was clearly stronger than me. She wore me out and basically got me to accept the discount against my will. The discount was only about 15$ and I left very unsatisfied and upset. I complained go my sister who was with me when I made the order and she told me I was absolutely scammed and she wished she was there when I picked it up to stand up for me. I felt upset and taken advantage of, I was too disgusted by the outfit and I ended up only wearing it twice. I have no problem with gray by itself but this whole experience absolutely ruined it for me and I relapsed into feeling absolutely weak and useless like I used to be my whole life.

Apologies if I had done any AH move so far but if there was, I think I was justified but here's the AITA part of the story: in my frustration I opened their Google page to write a bad review but was shocked the page didn't even exist so I turned to their Anstagram page and I wrote several bad reviews and complains ON EVERY SINGLE POST THEY MADE. I wanted people to be aware of the problem. I also told everyone I knew. I say "tried" in the title because my attempt didn't even impact them, they didn't bother contacting me after I spammed their page with probably 40 negative comments and the business is still going strong.

AITA?

[drdemonprince]

something im kind of connecting the dots to re: your posts about shaming people who don’t wear masks…in ‘20 and ‘21 I spent a lot of time posting shaming instagram stories telling people they needed to mask, and i yelled at family until i was blue in the face bc they weren’t masking, having big weddings, etc. and it really created a rift (obviously) in my relationships. I’ve also spent a lot of time and energy in the past 4 or so years telling people that it’s not possible to be an ally to trans people if they still engage in any media created by jk rowling. Especially given that her anti trans manifesto has been cited in anti trans legislation in the uk, she says that she assumes that anyone who continues to engage with Harry Potter media approves of her transphobia, etc the list goes on. And yet i still see my friends going to the wizarding world of Harry Potter, marathoning the movies with their friends, going to see the new movies in theaters, and so on. Obviously my aggressive shaming posts and conversations (which have alienated a lot of people) aren’t doing jack shit. Your mask shame posts made me realize that it probably wasn’t right of me to do that. But I don’t see how I can stand up for what I believe in and show people that it’s not okay to keep doing this shit AND play nice and not create trouble. Do you have any thoughts?

Thanks for this great question and for sharing your experiences.

I think when we shame, part of it is a grappling with our own powerlessness. It feels terrible to confront that no matter how much we care, and no matter how much we plead, we cannot make another person take action. When people we love or rely on won't hear our pleas and won't take action, it wounds us so deeply, and it makes sense we react in anger or seek to shame them hoping it will make them care. But it isn't effective.

I think one of the first steps is accepting our powerlessness as individuals. We have to stop expecting ourselves to somehow persuade people to change their behavior and views, when all the research indicates that such change is rare, slow, and very hard, and cannot be accomplished on a person who does not already want to be influenced. We have to sit in the humility of not being able to make others care, and take time to grieve how badly it hurts. Our understandable and huge hurt feelings need to be processed. many of us have a powerful need to express our rage and have it witnessed by others who understand.

From there, we have to think very strategically about what kind of collective work we can do that will shift social norms, facilitate the behavior we want to see, and fight for systemic changes that will actually address the root issues.

This may be things like passing out masks at protests. Joining a local mutual aid fund to contribute to the expenses of people who are quarantining. Protesting an event space to make them institute a masking policy. Unionizing with our coworkers to demand paid sick leave. Shoplifting tests and redistributing them to people in need. Terrorizing the business leaders who dragged us all back into the office. Sharing the wastewater data. Asking loved ones about their COVID mitigation decisions in a sincere way. Organizing outdoor events for our communities. Paying for a buddy's vaccine.

There are countless ways for us to be plugged into an active community that is larger than us. The work is humble, and ongoing, and what you do personally will never be enough on its own, and you must accept that in order to believe that it does not have to be. We are in this together.

In short, I think the tough emotional realities of feeling disrespected and not cared for much be addressed by finding community with people who do care and will give us room to voice our outrage. And then we have to work together to create the circumstances that allow real systemic change to germinate.

Right now, people conflate that emotional need to express rage with the political need to take action. And what feels cathartic to do or say is not necessarily what's persuasive. There has to be room for both.

[omamorens]

Excuse me, I know it’s been a while since fantasy high junior year, but I was wondering if you had any thoughts or head cannons on Adaine and Oisín as academic rivals in senior year?

OH I HAVE LOTS OF THOUGHTS ABOUT THEM the lack of content has not stopped my brainrot (a curse or a blessing…. who can tell) but senior high inkblade thoughts coming right up

Nothing beats forced proximity. Wizard classes are notorious for giving out group tasks to mitigate the stereotype of wizard shut-ins

General student population has not taken kindly to TRG’s return… and they’re still pretty much approached with caution

Not TBK though. they dont gaf bout these kids

Especially not Adaine.

So if she happens to be paired/grouped with Oisin Hakinvar for a lot of the projects, she just learns to work with him in relative peace.

“Peace” being doing most of the work herself because duh. Who else can do anything better than she does?

But Adaine’s idea of “peace” hurts Oisin’s draconian sense of pride.

The second time it happens, Oisin finally gets the sense to tell her to knock out of it and include him in the work.

“Why? You’re already getting a free pass because of me. Just say your thanks and take it.”

“This free pass is gonna bite me in the ass.”

“You think I’ll snitch?”

“I just don’t like owing you anything.”

Their argument quickly escalates until the threats of violence have reached their wizard teacher’s radar.

Which was perfect. Now Adaine can actually complain and have her partner changed without whining or sounding like she was being difficult.

Too bad for her…

“I can’t do that, Miss Abernant. Mr. Hakinvar is the only one with comparable capabilities as you that if anyone else were paired with you, it would almost be like handing them a free pass.”

There was a compliment there somewhere but Adaine cannot be bothered to dig for it. Not when she was being compared to Oisin Hakinvar of all people.

In the end, Adaine didn’t get a change of partner and was left to deal with Oisin on her own.

Surprisingly, he was not that difficult to deal with. Misgivings aside, Oisin had common sense and worked on his parts well enough that Adaine had no problem with their output.

Doesn’t mean she won’t complain though.

This rivalry was a battle of wits mostly— who could create the most efficient spell? who could cast more practically? who wrote glyphs more intricately?

Wizard classes were also deeply twined together that it was hard not so be in the same class despite having different wizarding schools.

Which also presented arguments in theory and the nature of magic as they see and interact with it in their perspective.

In short, Oisin Hakinvar was a fucking challenge.

When you’re Adaine Abernant, you’re used to being the smartest person in the room.

Sure her friends were smart in their own ways too (Riz was inquisitively smart, Gorgug practically smart, and all her other friends were brilliantly talented), but all of them mostly did not care to have the scholarly aptitude and arcane awareness to actually challenge Adaine.

And honestly? Being the smartest person in the room was kind of dull.

Oisin just had to exist and change that, and now Adaine is both challenged, uncharistically motivated, and driven to come out as the better wizard.

Being the Elven Oracle does not matter when your opponent is an annoying dragonborn who only had comparable capabilities as you do after he killed some rats—

It was infuriating, honestly insulting, and most of all untrue.

Adaine will just have to prove it to everyone when she eventually graduates top of the wizarding class.

That will happen after she tackles the mysteries surrounding her senior year first because Of Course something had to go wrong and it was up to the Bad Kids to actually do anything about it.

No, she will not be distracted by this. She can solve a mystery AND be academically competent. Who do you take her for?

Oisin will have to pry the top spot from her cold, dead hands—

in my head, theres another pov of this from oisin’s perspective but this has gotten too long and i have uni to tackle first. i hope you enjoyed this hcs because i truly have daydreamed inkblade senior year in its full glory in my head at this point.

[bitchy-peachy]

Advice Somewhat and Some Shit to Sensitive Haters Stalking My Posts

My area is getting ready for those wonderful Trump import tariffs.

A cheap deodorant in a local pharmacy that costed $3.45... Now costs $8.45. Saw it just this morning.

Yes, that's how local businesses are preparing for your totally-going-to-lower-prices Cheese Puff Papi's economic plan.

Pretty sure certain people will blame democrats for it but hey, republicans love to break it so democrats can fix it. I don't even know how this shitass party still gets votes but then I see its either rich people that get big tax cuts and brainwashed people that were unfortunately taken advantage of through disguised lies that vote for this crap.

Also including racists and phobes because that's another tier in this dumbfuckery cake of ignorance.

I want my mutuals to be ready for what's coming next year. I've lived long enough to know shit will get bad for everyone that makes under a certain level of money in their finance bracket.

I want you to buy stuff that's necessary before these businesses keep hiking up prices and I want you to be try to only use money for necessities. Even I have cut my budget in wait to see what happens next.

I'm somewhat ok financially (for now. Now I will have to recalculate everything with the potential and percentages of Trump's Tariffs looming over all of us) and unlike the 6 times bankrupted god, I know how to actually use and administer our finances without destroying my whole family and leaving us in the poor house.

I will probably have to write a guide at this point cos I even know survival skills after natural disasters as well as the banking system... A bunch of simple acquired knowledge that I never thought would be so necessary with what's coming up ahead.

This morning was a wakeup call and reminder that we need to take things seriously to prepare ourselves and our families. We'll need to save, stock up, be a little more frugal

I'm frugal af as it is until I have "fun funds" accumulated to finally relax. People think we only got to "survive" rather than actually "live". Don't ever let someone tell you you can't have nice things and good food and a good quality life just cos you are poor. Rich people act like our existence is to do cheap work for them while only eating stale bread and drinking contaminated water. They see everyone that isn't wealthy as part of their serfdom to do their bidding.

You deserve better.

Anyways, I'm rambling but right now... These times up ahead are a challenge even for me who has survived homelessness and natural disasters that lead to darkness for 6 months. I now feel like I'm in school again doing mathematical exercises and sorting to be ready for another terrible event looming up ahead (we never can catch a break, huh?)

I joke around a lot on here about maga getting what they voted for but the reality is that they're not the only ones getting effed up for them being so painfully stupid and completely lacking in basic critical skills when voting.

I want my mutuals that are in vulnerable situations to do everything to be safe. This is the best advice I can give for now because I sincerely want those that can be potentially affected to be mentally and emotionally ready. I'm here for my friends and even though I'm ranty I am still strangely at ease that we will as a community be fine.

On to another subject.

It's obvious to everyone that follows me that I despise maga. Especially with my relative ones that think I'm morally obligated to help them mitigate the consequences of their own actions. They can't even admit when they fuck up and can't handle confrontation with facts so I don't see a point in saving them. Considering how they voted, they really don't give a shit about me or my own family.

The help that was going for them will go for other people that are flying in next week that definitely need more help than my relatives. My relatives can ask Trump for help in their housing, medical bills etc since they spat on my help by endangering my entire family that falls almost into every category Trump wants to fuck up and make "illegal".

If I do this with actual blood relatives... Imagine what I do to strangers trying shit with me as if I owe them friendship, activism or my time.

I've been ranted at and blocked 5 times over the past week by maga that just can't handle shit I had to tell them. They also mostly approached me so they're the ones going around like the biggest Loser Winners on everyone that isn't pro Trump.

Most recent fun times was a loser calling me mentally ill (weird, cos I'm pretty sure the one that studied criminological psychology is me and not some unappealing mediocre male that reblogs naked women that will never fuck him) and after he raged he blocked me.

I'm online for fun and friends so I do act unhinged and unprofessional af. Why am I gonna bore myself online with a professional veneer (and before some useless maga tries get me "fired". I retired ages ago, sweetums. LOL) when I'm supposed to just relax on here?

I like explicit horror and cats, rats and bats. I write weird shit. I don't have to act like I'm at work all the time with proper diction and I'm not the only "shitlib" that is like this online. One of my best friends who plays horror games with me is surgeon and we both cuss like truckers and have slumber parties.

Meh.

Despite all this, I am appreciative of me, a retired old goth witchy lady, being fake diagnosed by someone with impressive 5th grade level knowledge. I gave easy to find facts and it somehow hurts people into calling me "retarded". I'm done being nice to your ilk and will be giving out just as much shit back as you have done to me.

There's nothing worse in an election than an uninformed voter in an echo chamber. You guys got fed your "facts" from echo chamber social medias and outlets. It's not my fault my factual words hurt you. It's your own for not waking up out of that propaganda induced coma. A lot of you don't even know what communism and social democracy actually are before calling everyone you don't like those things.

After these elections, I now know there's no helping you. You're too far gone and our side is truly packing up and leaving you behind. Blocking, avoiding... We are done as we should have been ages ago.

If you go low, I will go lower. Tired of only one side playing nice and getting trampled on and then you hypocritically clutching at your pearls at the slightest pushback.

We will be meaner and you deserve it. You had it coming. And I'm saying it nicely on here but I've called some yall literally fucking country destroying dumbfucks that actually hate everyone, including America. (that "patriot" some of you have on bio along with Christian crosses will never fail to make me laugh. You guys hate America so much you might as well wipe your ass with the flag. Well you already do put it to your genitals with the undies and swimsuit lines with flag print. Yikes)

But what do I know? I'm just a shitty lib (not really. A lot of libs hate me cos I'm pro guns and support answering violence with even more violence meh)

I don't hate to say "I told you so". In fact I love saying it now.

Now that both of these things are outta the way, I will relax and watch some horror movies in my list. Might live post some of them.

PS: To my haters... I have a statcounter on my blog. Stop being stupid.

[wyervan]

i'm still rusty but here *drops this and runs*

There were a lot of things Em was privy to as the arcade’s nurse. For example, they always knew which kids had rough home lives. It was easy for them to see which bruises were caused by skee balls and which weren't. Though not an official nurse by any means, they felt bound to report it, and so they did — to their employers. Em wasn’t one to trust the police very much (they were very aware of horrible things that happened to people with their disability for not acting “normal”), so they only ever told Sun and Moon what they discovered.

If it so happened that they later saw a report in the news of a murder, then that was fine. They always felt an admittedly dark satisfaction about it. They did absently wonder if they could do any more to help, but rationalized that by being the one to report the abuse they were doing enough. Still, they hoped to be able to do more.

One fateful day, as Em was checking the inventory of the medical supplies in the small closet they were given, (Sun was apologetic about it, but the place never really had a nurse before.) they heard some commotion coming from the direction of the employee lockers not too far from their closet.

‘Probably Sun scolding Moon for something again.’ Em thought to themself, a bit amused. The dynamic those two had was kind of funny. It was clear they had been friends for a long while, but they always bickered like an old couple.

“Moon!” Sun’s shrill shout shook Em from their thoughts. “How long were you going to go around like that?!”

“It’s fine. It’ll heal on it’s own.”

“How do you know that? We don’t know what that-that vermin had on their knife!”

Feeling like they should do something about it, Em grabbed some Bactine and a roll of bandages from the shelves, making a note of the deduction from their supply. The arguing got louder as they approached the lockers, and Em freed up a hand to knock on the doorway.

“I can bandage you up.” They said, taking in the scene before them. Sun’s legs were bent in a half-crouch, hands in his mane and an aggrieved look on his face. Moon looked halfway through getting changed, his hoodie was bunched up around his chest and the undershirt was slightly raised. Em’s eyes zeroed in on the cut on his abdomen. It looked to be about two inches long, but only a few centimeters deep, luckily.

Both men paused when they spoke, turning to look at them in the doorway. “It’s not that deep to my eyes, but you really shouldn’t leave it uncovered. A kid could end up soaking your shirt in snot by accident.”

Em’s bosses glanced at each other, before Moon sighed in acquiesce, and Em approached, uncapping the antiseptic. They felt Sun’s eyes on them as they got closer, and had to resist the urge to roll their eyes.

“This may sting a little.” Em said, out of habit. Moon shrugged, and Em proceeded with disinfecting the cut. To his credit, he didn’t seem to react to it, and so Em went forward with wrapping the bandages around his torso.

“That should mitigate any substances from getting in it. If it makes you feel better I can take over handling any criers today.”

“That would be perfect, thank you.”

“No problem.” They checked over the wrappings, making sure it was snug but not too tight. “By the way, because you rushed out so quickly yesterday, I wasn’t able to tell you that Ashley had some unusual markings on her. I noticed some hand-shaped bruises and what I can only assume were cigarette burns.” Em felt Moon’s stare on them now, and they looked up to meet his red gaze.

“You didn’t go to the police? You waited to tell us?” Sun asked, a look of surprise on his face.

Em scoffed. “Like I’d tell them. You know as well as I do how many cases of abuse go overlooked here. No, I’d rather tell you two. Much more likely something will befall those disgusting people.”

“You…” Moon trailed off, eyes wide.

“Who, me? If you mean to imply something, then yeah, I’ve wagered a guess. No offense, but I’m surprised more of my coworkers don’t know. Sometimes you aren’t very subtle.” They cast a glance over to Sun, indicating the man’s shrill voice. Sun wilted a little.

“I don’t blame you though. If I was more fit I’d probably be kicking some ass myself. Sorry for the language.” They cut off Sun before he could speak. “Honestly, I’m more concerned with the lack of care you have for yourselves. Sure this injury was shallow, but the next one might not be. Do either of you have any experience with suturing?” Both men shook their heads, making Em sigh. “Just… come to me if you need any patching up. No matter how big or small, whenever at whatever time.” They waved their hand. “My address is in the file, just drop by when you need patching.”

They seemed to be stunned into silence by Em’s words, but it was Sun who broke the silence first. “Why help us?”

“Are you kidding?” Em’s brows rose, and they capped the lid on the antiseptic. “It’s nothing if not deserved. Put it this way,” they crossed their arms, “you two are essentially vigilantes. Technically speaking, it’s a bit morally questionable, but is it really? I know you’ve seen the ones who worm their way out of jail time with money and connections like I have. I think I’ll keep telling you what I see. The kids in this town deserve better.” They looked away, focusing their gaze at one of the posters Sun had put up.

It was quiet for a time, then, “You know, I think that’s the most I’ve heard you talk since your interview.” Sun remarked, perking up a little.

Em looked over in surprise, and burst out laughing.

Oh boy oh man, I’m pleased as an absolute peach! 🥰

We love Em, they’re so levelheaded and like, down-to-earth, honest, and caring. There’s this classic dynamic of the fighter(s) and the healer going on here that’s a favorite character trope of mine.

Giggling over how Sun is so frantic and Moon is completely apathetic about his injury. And yeah, i bet they think they’re sooo sneaky and smart but they’re really just a couple of clowns with knives, and very obvious about it. 😛

[gwenllian-in-the-abbey]

"You told me it was our duty to hold the realm united against a common foe. By naming me heir, you divided the realm. I thought I wanted it. But the burden is a heavy one. It’s too heavy. If you wish for me to bear it, then defend me. And my children." 

Episodes 8

What is your opinion on this speech?

Rhaenyra is absolutely correct that Viserys divided the realm when he named her heir, despite telling her it was her duty to hold the realm united, and that he placed a heavy burden on her shoulders and didn't do a whole lot for her in terms of practical support. I think it's interesting that the show chose to highlight how neither Rhaenyra nor Aegon particularly want to rule. I think for show!Rhaenyra, it makes a good deal of sense. I always got the sense that if Viserys had disinherited her, show!Rhaenyra's pride would be wounded, but she would probably be at least a tiny bit relieved. It's that same pride that won't let her just admit that it might not be worth it, that maybe she'd rather just step back (and there's a cut dialogue with Daemon in which she voices these doubts to him and he immediately shuts her down saying she's weak like Viserys... hm!). In light of this, it isn't particularly out of character for show!Rhaenyra to be considering the peace offer Otto delivers (book!Rhaenyra is another story, she has no doubts and does not give a fuck about keeping the realm united, she wants to win, period). She has a good life on Dragonstone, her kids are out of the public eye and aren't facing accusations of bastardy, and Daemon has his dragon hobby to keep him occupied. She doesn't need the throne, and if it's not actually that important to Viserys, then he should just say so. If he really wants her to be queen and has a good reason for it, then do something. She has a point.

That said, if Rhaenyra doesn't want the burden, she can give it up at any time, and if she actually does want to be heir, she's not doing herself any favors either. She is the one who stayed away, who went to Dragonstone and was absent from court while the green council built up their power base. And while yes, Dragonstone is the official holding of the heir to the throne, most heirs split their time between King's Landing and Dragonstone because it's important for the heir to learn the workings of the realm and to make connections and alliances. Dragonstone is only a few hours away on from King's Landing on dragonback, and it's a relatively small holding with only a few villages, so it's not as if it requires its prince or princess to be in residence at all times. Aside from that, Rhaenyra also had three bastard children and put them in the line of succession, which she knew was going to cause problems (and in this, Viserys did offer her a ton of support, including allowing his own son's maiming to go unpunished and Vaemond to be killed to maintain that lie). So it kind of goes both ways. Rhaenyra acts like she doesn't really care all that much about being heir beyond the validation it gives her, that she is the favorite child, the one he chose, and Viserys stubbornly keeps her as heir but does nothing to shore up her claim or mitigate the threats against her, and it's divided the realm despite Viserys insisting the realm must remain united, so what are we actually doing here? I liked this scene, I think it reveals a good deal about show!Rhaenyra's mindset.

I think if done well, the show can have Rhaenyra really spiraling due to grief and rage, going from feeling like she should preserve the peace and that maybe it isn't worth it, to feeling like she has to win out of spite (and I think this can apply to both sides. You have Otto and Rhaenys giving Alicent and Rhaenyra similar speeches in the trailer) and a desire for vengeance. I don't... hate this? But the show has to stop giving Rhaenyra the chosen one rightful heir halo and admit that she doesn't go to war for the good of the realm, but for her own very personal reasons.

[kingusukaras]

some (mildly disjointed) thoughts i had about the translation of most recent leona overblot scene from the second twst novel. unsaid disclaimer is obvi these are just my thoughts and youre free to disagree. i cant stop you

read more because i might ramble a bit 💆🏾‍♀️

i'll start by saying that i'm very grateful for the novel & yuureis translations, bc its given me so much to chew on wrt leonas psyche and mental state, much more than book 2 in the game did. i havent bothered to go looking for reactions tho, bc i can already kind of predict the takes i'll find (knowing how parts of the fandom talks abt leona generally) - and i do "get" it, in the sense that i do also feel the way he tortures ruggie before he overblots is upsetting - but theres so much to dig into here, i feel like its such a waste to get hung up on obsessively moralizing

(i'll mention here that to formulate these thoughts i'm also pulling from the translation of leona's post-overblot scene, plus some moments from the game that i'll mention specifically as i go)

for example, the things leona says pre-overblot, his meltdown about dreams being stupid and useless, how the savanaclaw students (ruggie included) aren't meant to question him; they're meant to obey quietly, sound less like actual things he's trying to tell them and more like him lashing out at himself. as in, he's more talking at them, not to them. skipping forward to book 6: there we see leona give jamil advice, but the implication underneath is that everything he's telling jamil are things leona wishes he had internalized himself - again here, he's talking to someone, but really it's also directed inwards. almost like it's easier for him to look at (and speak about) himself critically when he can externalize it as critique of other people

the other thing im curious about is the distant, detached persona he adopts when he's truly angry. this'll be quick because i don't feel i have enough information to unpack it properly, but if i allow myself to spin thoughts out from limited information: it could almost be a habit he picked up as a child - something he might've forced himself to learn as part of an effort to be seen as more of a 'model' prince. if people were afraid of his moodiness because they feared what his UM (he) could do, then if he swallows those emotions maybe he can mitigate that. this, ofc, being shot through with the expectation that, as royalty, any order he gives people will obey

the final thing, for this post at least, is unpacking the way leona lashes out at ruggie when ruggie defies him. i'm willing to make the very safe bet that most of the reading of this moment is focused on leona being angry over being defied at all, or general disgust at how small and weak ruggie is (appears) to be. and while i think both of those points have some element of truth to them, i think the larger aspect of leonas reaction is jealousy. ruggie somehow, despite everything, despite all of the disadvantages life has thrown at him, still has the courage to have determination. and i want to be very clear here: this is not me saying being poor or struggling is admirable because it makes you strong - i'm not naive and i'm not here to romanticize poverty. what i am trying to say here ruggie's tenacity - a tenacity his life circumstances developed in him - is something that leona lacks, and that's what he's jealous of. he's jealous of his inability to keep having that hope, to maintain that courage in the face of his own repeated failures

(an aside: isn't it ironic that part of the reason ruggie has that tenacity is leona? leonas tutoring, leonas effective leadership of the spelldrive club, and as housewarden?)

(an aside 2x: in many ways, 'giving up' can be seen as a luxury. ruggie does not have the luxury to give up, because it could very well mean that he doesn't eat that day. for leona, regardless of what he does he's going to have a roof over his head and three square meals a day anyway, so what does it matter if he gives up? sure, he won't be happy, but he'll be comfortable in a material sense, and isn't that enough? except, of course, it isn't - not for him. as much as he tries to deny it, he's as fiercely ambitious as the rest of his dorm)

[timidxtempted]

I don't know shit about guns.

But I know a li'l bit about triggers.

Triggers, I mean the trauma kind, are not fun surprises. They'll hit you like a bullet and leave you just as bloody, even if you don't see it on the outside.

Of course, you can mitigate the likelihood, and you can prepare yourself in advance. Protect yourself. Prepare for every possible eventuality that you can come up with. Plan. Plan again. Plan more. There. That should be easy enough. Good job. You have done it. Outsmarted your trauma.

Right up until you haven't.

No matter how methodically you try to remove all possibility, something is bound to happen that - surprise! - is just gonna knock you on your traumatized ass. Doesn't even have to be done purposefully. Although, intentionally shot is usually particularly armour piercing.

Boom. You're hit. You might not stagger visibly, but that doesn't mean you weren't hit, and hit hard.

The best case scenario is that you are in a safe space or with a safe person - or can hang on until you get safe... and then drag out your coping skills and start trying to find the one that's going to work best.

It's just...if you're like me...you might start talking to yourself.

Unkindly.

Why the fuck did that happen? You're past that. You conquered. You built yourself a big fuckin wall, brick by motherfuckin brick, you did that all on your own, and you have no business being triggered. What is the matter with you, why aren't you over this shit. It was long ago. Fucking weak. You should be embarrassed for reacting this way.

It's not nice to read it all laid out there (wasn't pleasant typing it, either) but I'm just being honest about what I'd said to myself after the event that precipitated this post in the first place.

I was lucky that day. I was able to hang on until I got safe.

But it got me thinking for a long time afterward.

Thinking about triggers.

And guns.

I don't know shit about guns.

I don't know what they feel like.

I don't know what it feels like to fire one.

I have never even held a gun.

Even when triggered, it's not like I think I'm the one doing the triggering.

So...

So why am I so willing to shoot myself down for my response to a trigger when I was not the one holding the proverbial fucking gun?

I'm only saying this out loud (by typing it) because it made me stop and think about how many times I've blamed myself for getting shot. Or berated myself for not thinking to wear full body armour to brunch. Or kicked myself for not figuring out how to deploy a full impenetrable shield to move about the planet.

So I decided that the next time (and there will undoubtedly be a next time) I'm finding myself triggered, instead of hurting myself even more by telling me I failed, I'm going to try reminding myself that not only am I not the one pulling the trigger...

...but it was never even my gun in the first place.

(This has been sitting in my drafts for a couple of weeks, after I was triggered pretty hard by something I thought I should not have been. I finished it tonight after a conversation shared. So I edited some, added some, and smoothed some out. And now, it's stronger than it could have been without that conversation. That's pretty fucking cool.)

[sminiac]

I drank a tea way too late at night and now it's almost 7am with no sleep so pardon me if I'm totally incoherent but. I've been playing my death metal favourites all night and I can't stop thinking of like. Xikers with a super scary chains+spikes metalhead s/o... Who among them would be intimidated and submissive to them and who would rise up and give them a challenge, rough them up like the bed is a mosh pit... I have my own ideas already but I'm curious to what others would think

I like the way you think🤭

At times Minjae has some lip to him, so I feel like he’d enjoy the taunting aspect to it, like purposefully being excessively difficult with you, whiny refusals and muttering back complaints under his breath when you ask something of him, he’s continuous in doing it only loud enough for you to hear, but muttered so it isn’t distinct enough to properly make out. It’s really all a ploy to get you riled up, quietly admires you with darting eyes, your aesthetic an entirely new sight to him that’s done not in a disingenuous way, he can’t help but fawn over you, especially when you’re being mean, when you aren’t treating him like delicate glass. Being used yet simultaneously taken care of would definitely be a sort of coping mechanism for him, knows he’s in safe hands so he just completely lets go, he’s yours, utterly and completely.

Ex: He’d definitely have a thing for particularly sharp jewelry, or even nails, the pleasure you provide his cock with mitigating the burning sting of something sharp being dragged across his thighs/chest that’s not quite sharp enough to break skin, but it’s something about the red lines appearing in the aftermath that has him wanting more.

Junmin would honestly, in my opinion, be quite the wildcard, I feel like surface level most would assume that he’d submit with ease, but something about him is telling me that he wouldn’t. Well, most of the time. I’d say maybe 50/50, like sometimes he’s whimpering out pleas that you: “Be mean to me, want you to be mean.” And would secretly enjoy the way you handle him so firmly, holding him by the square of his jaw, forcing him to watch the way your hand glides up and down his cock, a few degrading words slipping while you’re riding him, acting out only so he can receive more, but he’d also like to see someone as intimidating as you brought down to a whimpering puddle beneath him, because of him.

Ex: maybe it’s just me though, but I think he’d be so taunting about it, loves to point out everything, making fun of you but promises to make you feel good, that he’ll make up for it. I think the juxtaposition of being perceived as more soft and sweet vs enjoying being the one in charge is something that would feed into this too. Also, having his arms and legs restrained would be something he’s into, depends on the day.

For Sumin… now I had to come back to do him last because if I thought about it for too long my heart would break through the interior of my chest. I’m gonna play into the mean!Sumin thing I brought up recently because the image I have of him in my head fits a little too perfectly, but he’d definitely be the most aggressive, by far. Because tell me he wouldn’t stick his fingers down your throat to shut you up while he’s got you backed up against a wall, fucking up into you, his pace brutal, unfaltering. He can be so sweet and praising but if you want the. he’s saying nothing to you other than utter filth.

Ex: let me stop right there, but his arms 😵‍💫 putting you in a headlock??? Nah okay, I’m done let me chill out. He’d have a thing for stretched ears (self indulgent?) thinks they’re so cool, especially the tapers lol.

I think there’s no way Jinsik would wanna put up a fight against you, the most he’d have in his arsenal is a few weak snaps that he’d quickly apologize for, taking his words back as he’s scrambling to keep you close to him, sweet thing, just wants to feel you, wants you all over him. The type to be so fascinated by your level of self expression, brags about it, countless compliments whispered to you in public when he’s feeling needy and just can’t wait until you’re back at the dorms. Thinks it’s sexy how you take on the dominant role, has a thing for egging you on, “You gonna use me? God- please do, ‘s all I want, however you want me I’m all yours, only yours.”

Ex: would have a thing for his hair being pulled, and not the dainty tugs at his scalp but forcefully moving his head by a simple fist full of his hair, wants to be messed with, wants to be marked up, in whatever way you possibly can. Also, having a thing for his cock being hit/slapped, tries so hard not to cum on the spot, but if your spitting on it after, stroking him gently to make up for your harshness in quiet then he can’t help it.

Hyunwoo… now listen, this may be crazy but I can see him holding you down, like face down ass up with one arm, the other cracking harsh, self indulgent slaps against you, likes seeing how red your ass gets, his jaw pulled tight when you’re garbling out jumbled cries that it: “Hurts, Woo it stings- more!” over the wet sound of your cunt repeatedly swallowing him in. Would also have a thing for teasing you to the brink of tears, feigning empathy with a dramatic bump to his lip as his hand smooths against the irritated skin. “Poor baby, but you’re doing so good f’me, taking my cock so well. Makes me wonder how people would react to seeing you so obedient, letting me fuck you like this.”

Ex: a favourite position would have to be the mating press, likes seeing you cry while he’s fucking into you at an incomprehensible pace, the tip of his cock bumping into a place that has your vision going fuzzy at the edges. Pride swells inside in his chest when he sees that your eye makeup is completely ruined, especially if you use a lot of eyeliner/dark eye shadow.

[soracities]

Just a note from the other side of unrequited love - I (f) was completely blindsided when my friend (also f) told me she was in love with me. I thought we were just very good friends who’d known each other for a decade.

Her telling me was very sweet, but now I think about it, just added to my stress - I was telling her about one of my lowest points (which at the time was recent) where I had been made to feel completely inferior, and in return told me I was perfect to her. I sincerely thanked her, surprised by her insistence, and continued my story, but she interrupted me to tell me again that I was perfect. And that she loved me.

She asked my feelings - said it was fine if I didn’t feel the same. I think I knew in my heart that I didn’t, but I was so shocked and wanted time to think it through, which only confirmed I didn’t feel that way about her. I told her in one of the most awkward conversations in our friendship, and said that I hoped we could stay friends if she wanted to. She did.

And so we continued. I’d asked her when she told me - how long? when did you realise? what made you realise? - but she couldn’t answer. Though I’d been curious, I put them out of my mind for her comfort, and tried to return to normal.

It’s different now, though, for me, and I don’t think she realises. She makes occasional comments about how good we’d be as a couple because of how well we get on, or jokes about how we fall into traditional stereotypes of husband and wife. She’s even offered a few times again, jokingly-but-not, saying “I would still date you if you ever changed your mind…” She occasionally asks about my love life, and reiterates the offer. I make my feelings clear, and we change the subject, but I think I need to have a direct conversation to end it because I feel so uncomfortable every time it comes up as I know I won’t change my mind.

At first, I felt like I should love her the way she wants me to. How shallow am I to throw away a relationship just because I don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction to her? But I’m realising that to place such expectations on myself is unfair, and that shallow as it may be, those are two of the defining features that delineate platonic and romantic love. I’m the person she is closest to outside her family, so even if I thought space was best, I know it’d break her. She’s absolutely wonderful, as a friend. So I continue, keep things light hearted, tell her it’s not something I want when she brings it up, and worry inside when she starts planning our “supposedly platonic” future of buying our own apartment together… I’m fine really, but just wanted to say the other end of unrequited love is hardly ideal either!

i can completely, completely understand this, and i really, really hope you are able to have this conversation with her sooner rather than later, for both of your sakes so that you, and her, can begin to move on. no matter what this is always such a delicate situation and trying to navigate it with care and consideration for both of your feelings is never easy and never going to be without pain or heartbreak, no matter how much you may wish to mitigate that.

for what it's worth, i don't think it is being shallow--you can, absolutely, acknowledge your own needs, and respect those needs, while at the same time recognizing that someone else doesn't meet them and that this doesn't detract from their character either--it's not fair on yourself to carry such discomfort in your friendship and no matter how you go about this you cannot avoid the hurt because it is not so much a question of if there will be pain but when; your friendship should be able to nourish you both in the healthiest way possible and i hope, again, that you can open this conversation with your friend soon because it really sounds like it is needed. i'm sorry you're in such an uncomfortable and tricky situation but i'm sincerely wishing you the best through this, anon ♡

[outofangband]

in response to an ask from @justpostsyeet about what Laws and Customs of the Eldar say about sexual assault

under a cut for non graphic discussion of this!

also thank you to @undercat-overdog for helping me find the relevant passage that I literally had memorized but could not find (seriously I spent like an hour reading through Morgoth's Ring and could not find the part I needed, my fault for researching when half asleep but anyways, Undercat saved this post!)

The ask: Hi, hope your having a good day/night (maybe this request doesn't worsen your day). I honestly love your posts and I've a thing that I want to ask to you.

Maybe you has done this before but what do you think the elves view on sexaul assault must be?

And even if it's true what must be the reaction of elves when the a) hear about such news, b) witness such cruelty, c) experiences such awful things themselves .

I know it's a very sensitive topic and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable so, ignore it if you want. I've my own headcanons but I just wanted to know your opinions.

My response: this does not worsen my day! I'm sure you know this from my posts but I write a lot of darker topics and I'm fine discussing this! Indeed, I enjoy discussing darker topics, I can find it very cathartic to write about

Thank you so much for the ask and for thinking of me!

The concept that elves cannot survive sexual assault comes from Laws and Customs of the Eldar, an essay style section of Morgoth's Ring, in the Histories of Middle Earth. In LaCE, as it's often known, Ælfwine, or Elfwine, a pre canon character in The legendarium is credited with the editing of this text as well as other parts of the histories of Middle Earth adding another aspect of meta to it.  

LaCE is a controversial essay. Many consider it to be precanon or non canon. Others consider it an in universe philosophical or religious work rather than biological facts or universal standards for the elves. I think this interpretation is probably accurate

The relevant part you're talking about is a footnote in response to this line of LaCE Even when  in after days as the history is reveal many of the Eldar in Middle Earth became corrupted and their hearts darkened by the Shadow that lies upon Arda seldom is any tale told of Deeds of lust among them.

The footnote reads ...But among all those evils there is no record of any among the elves that took another spouse by force for this was wholly against their nature and one so forth would have rejected bodily life and passed to Mandos. Guile or trickery in this matter was scarcely possible even if it could be thought that any elf would purpose to use for it; for the Eldar can read in the eyes of another whether they be wed or unwed 

I agree with you that it's probably not the case that sexual violence instantly leads to death.

I think it's fun to play around with whether or not LaCE is a, canon or b, strict biological law! Generally I go with it not being so but there is a lot of fascinating ideas that can be explored, if often horrifying ones, treating it like that! (the idea that elves can tell in the eyes of another if they're married or not is FASCINATING even if the idea that such a phenomena would prevent sexual violence is...troublesome...)

On the basis of LaCE not being biological law though, there are a few possibilities for this inclusion (note: these are in universe possibilities, not a complete list of reasons why Tolkien might have included it)

a, an in universe narrator trying to mitigate or cover up the fact that this did indeed occur

b, as in most versions he appears in, Ælfwine is not an elf but a human, this could simply be an idealistic notion or misconception or even misunderstanding or mistranslation

c, sexual violence is a taboo subject in many human cultures, it's certainly not implausible that it was treated similarly the elves. Even if it's not an attempt to cover up actions by well known figures in the history of the Eldar, it could be a denial of cultural traumas or a refusal to reckon with a certain kind of pain

The fact that it specifically reads 'no record of any taking the spouse of another by force' is somewhat strange. Obviously, non married people can be the victims of assault (and people can be victimized by those they're married to; it's worth noting here that Tolkien did seem to realize both, some of the primary, and only, instances of rape in the legendarium are instances of marital rape)

A...generous reading is that it is worded like this because the footnote appears in relevance to the section about marriage and this is meant to discuss specifically how certain trauma affects the marital bond, something that LaCE defines as a spiritual and physical matter.

(Plenty of horror you could potentially explore there; spouses actually feeling the pain and trauma of their partners due to this bond, whether trauma from this kind of violence or other)

What I do think is true is that elves have a stronger connection between body and mind and soul and that severe trauma of any kind can lead to physical consequences up to, including and beyond death of the body. This is of course not unheard of in humans, stress takes a physical toll. But for elves I think this connection is perhaps more profound.

This is not limited to sexual assault and indeed most of the instances we see of this in canon are not related to sexual assault.

It's worth noting that there are some troublesome aspects of Tolkien's wording. Obviously the linking of sexual assault and lust is not entirely accurate. Desire and lust often do not play a role in sexual violence; power and control perhaps being more pertinent. Then of course the fact that it says 'no record of one taking the spouse of another by force' is also questionable as I talked about above.

In conclusion, I think like the rest of LaCE, it makes more sense as the philosophy of one group or individual rather than biological reality.

Finally, I'll note that the two primary examples I can think of in the works of victims of sexual violence who "choose" death or at least leaving body or life in some form or another are not elves but are Aerin, a human, and Arien, a Maia (Arien's example also not being strictly canon), both of whom choose fire. (also I think that whether or not Aerin died is actually ambiguous and is certainly not definite, that being said the idea that she did is a perfectly plausible reading) Also why are their names so similar...

[novantinuum]

I'd love to hear more about Connie's trauma! The attention you give her character through the parallels between her and Steven always resonated with me.

Ohohoh yasss I really do wanna get back to this one…

This one-shot examines like… the whole thing with Connie being largely absent from Beach City and active Gem nonsense in the beginning of Steven Universe Future, and attempts to give an potential explanation as to why.

Like I guess personally, it just always seemed a bit strange to me that she made such a sharp pivot from actively desiring to be a close participant in Gem matters on Earth, to… seemingly not? She even specifies to Steven in Together Forever that her interest in politics is more for “down to earth” reasons, when he asks if her experiences with intergalactic diplomacy got her on that train. So my brain kinda was just… okay, what changed? And my current thought is that… after the deeply, DEEPLY upsetting experience she went through in White’s head… she realized she needed to take some time to step away for her own wellbeing. And I think it took some time for her to figure out even that much- some time, and some long discussions with her own therapist. Thus, set post movie, I have a scene with her and Pearl cooking away in my brain. It’s only a starting sketch, but it’s eventually gonna tackle like… the residual trauma Connie still has about Pearl restraining her when she was controlled by White.

Snippit:

_

“All right! Wonderful hustle, as always!” Pearl says, her holo-Pearls dissipating into glittering light at her command. “Now—“ she summons a material sword from within her gem-space, posture falling into a ready stance— “your final opponent today will be me. You’ve made great strides with those new defensive maneuvers I’ve taught you, so let’s concentrate on refining our footwork this time, shall we?”

“Yes, Ma’am!” Connie exclaims with a snappy salute, and refocuses her attention on the precise rhythm and form of her steps as— with a mighty shout— she glides across the training grounds towards her teacher, sword in hand. 

Stance wide, she reminds herself. Body lowered. Let your toes point the way.

Ever the in-sync mentor, Pearl follows her lead. She’s clearly not playing it easy this afternoon. To be fair she rarely does, but there’s this extra wild glint of tenacity whirling in her eyes that alerts her to the fact that she’ll have to dig for every last strategical advantage to win this one. When she raises her blade to attempt her first strike, the Gem effortlessly dances around it. She counters with a swift overhead assault, which Connie blocks with the flat of her weapon.

If she were practicing against the holo-Pearls, her teacher would’ve interrupted the moment to shout an eager word of praise, but not this time. Not in their recent one-on-ones. 

Not when some stray Era 3 dissenter could drop right onto their doorstep at any second and destroy all the progress the Crystal Gems have worked so hard to achieve.

It’s unfortunate— ever since the injector incident a few weeks ago, the usually bright and upbeat atmosphere at Steven’s house has grown… uncomfortably tense. Most of the bio-poison’s damage has been mitigated by this point, with Beach City residents aiding in physical clean-up and Steven using his powers to heal the ecological impacts, but there’s been a clear shift in the tides for her friends. She can feel it radiating in her very bones. Before Spinel, the Crystal Gems seemed content to hang up their weapons and enjoy the peaceful bounty and simple joys this new era promised. Though she still trained with Pearl during that period, those spars resembled more of a casual workout than any real battle simulation.

But now… even though they try not to show it… Connie can tell her friends have been re-traumatized. Recent events have simply sucked them right back into the barbed thickets of the war they never truly escaped. It’s not a physical battlefield this time, thank goodness… more a battlefield of the mind… but in her opinion its impacts are one and the same, even for Gems.

All the endless perils that shaped the trajectory of their pasts… they’ll always in some small part be there to haunt them.

Connie, of course, is no exception to this rule.