#Tattoo industry news and events

[cukytattoo]

[swordsandholly]

Cherry Bomb - tattoo parlor au anthology

MDNI | Poly 141 x Fem Fat Reader | masterlist

Part 1: New Girl

You stare up at the sign reading ONE - FOUR - ONE in old English font. It’s an old building, all brick and stuffed in between several others. The windows have a thin, semi-opaque cover them to let in the light without allowing you to see inside.

You make your way to the front door, trying the handle and feeling stupid the moment you do. Your eyes connect with a small intercom beside you and you press it. There’s a small buzz, then silence.

A few beats go by, you debate pressing it again. You don’t want to be too insistent.

“Hello?” A voice comes through just before you reach up to press again.

“I, uh…” You stutter. Despite having many, many tattoos you somehow still feel like a poser every time you enter a new studio. “I have an appointment at one? With John?”

The man on the other side confirms your name before buzzing you in, the door letting out a loud click before you step inside. It both makes you more nervous and more relaxed - you can appreciate a closed storefront like that. Especially for something often as private as tattoos and piercings, but it still feels like you’re doing something wrong. Just a little bit.

The front room is lovely, though. The texture over the glass bathes the front room in a calm, iridescent light. There are a few waiting chairs, a low, black table piled high with books of flash. The front of the high counter is covered with posters and stickers from events going all the way back to the 90s.

The pretty man behind the counter repeats your name absently, obviously thinking about other things. Probably the half-finished design that sits abandoned on the iPad next to the appointment book he’s staring down at. You just nod in agreement.

“I’ll let John know you’re here.” He nods back, turning and pushing through a pair of saloon style doors to disappear down the hall. You take the time he’s gone to look around, flipping through yet another small book of designs on top of the counter. They’re good. Unique. Very gothic and interestingly detailed. Somehow both fine and bold simultaneously.

“Afternoon.” You jump, snapping the book shut and looking up to meet a pair of soft blue eyes and an easy smile. He looks you over briefly before extending his hand. “John Price.”

You murmur your name quietly, trying very hard to not stare at the incredible traditional work patched into a sleeve up his strong arm. Damn.

He leads you back to his work station - past a piercing studio and across from another room with the door shut and an IN SESSION sign on the door. The dull, buzzing sound of a tattoo machine drifts through.

“Now,” John says as he cuts down the extra paper around the stencil. “Just remember if you don’t like the placement we can move it. No problem.”

“Okay.” You nod, appreciative that he mentioned it. Sometimes these older men in the industry are gruff and have an attitude if you do anything less than treat them as if they are anything other than Absolutely Right and Perfect. Not that John came off that way. There’s a softness in his affect that relaxes your muscles and leaves you breathing easy.

“I know y’have several but I’m still going t’do a line and then see how you feel.” He murmurs, voice low.

It’s sweet, the way he’s walking you through it all despite the piece being small and you obviously having done with process several times. The sting of the needle is as expected and you murmur that it was fine before he really gets to work.

“Just let me know if y’need a break…” He mumbles, voice dipping even lower as he concentrates on his work. In any other situation that rumble would probably have you squirming in your seat. There’s a silence for a while before he speaks again, almost as if he forgot you were there. “This design have any significance?”

“I just wanted to get a new tattoo in my new hometown.” You snort - now at the point where most of your tattoos fall under the ‘because it’s cool’ category. “Probably stupid, seeing as I don’t have a job yet but… I don’t know. Feels like good luck.”

John grins. “Well then, thanks f’lettin’ me be your good luck charm.”

Your face heats at the rumble in his voice - glancing away nervously.

There’s another lapse of silence while he works, the only words exchanged are when he asks if you need a break and you decline. Eventually, toward the end you think, he asks another question. “What brought y’here then? If not a job?”

You would shrug, but you try to keep as still as possible while he works. “Just needed a change. Found an apartment easy enough - now I just need a way to make money.”

He hums in agreement. “What do you have experience in? Been around here a while - might be able to recommend somethin’.”

“Oh! Thank you!” You brighten up. “Receptionist work, mostly. Some admin assistant stuff.”

He pauses, cocking an eyebrow. “Y’know, we’re hirin’ right now.”

“Yeah?” You tilt your head. “I don’t have, like, a resume with me.”

“You’ve got enough tattoos I’m assumin’ you know how the industry works. My apprentice is going to start actually tattooin’ soon, an’ I hate t’ have him still pickin up extra duties at the front.” He sits back, carefully smoothing saniderm onto your arm before turning and reaching for the ink-stained sketchbook behind him. “Tell y’what, you write down a few references for me and your number. If they’ve got good things t’ say we can do a trial period.”

You blink at him. He’s awful forward, and insistent, but you suppose it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try. A temp job is better than no job. “Alright…”

Just like that, you gained employment by way of making a stupid financial decision.

John’s an incredible boss. He pays fairly (generously, but you know better than to accidentally negotiate your pay down). He gives you plenty of hours and trains you well - with the help of his apprentice. He doesn’t get annoyed when you ask questions, seeming content with your determination to do your job to the best of your abilities. The shop goes by appointment only - no walk ins and potential customers have to call to book. John keeps things old fashioned like that. All pen and paper and cash transactions. An ATM sits in the waiting area. The most complicated part of your job is changing out the cash box in it, and that only take a few days to learn. Not that you mind, it’s sort of refreshing to not deal with some fuckass new and “improved” register and appointment system.

Turns out part of the reason they operate in such a way (other than preference) is because John is a big name in the tattoo world. You hadn’t realized until he pointed out a couple of your flash tattoos were from his best-selling book of designs.

“Wait, you’re famous!?” You gasp, staring wide eyed at the old binder of newspaper clippings and book sales. ‘My Mum Wasn’t Impressed At First - Now Even She Has One’ reads the title of one of the older clippings - yellowed with age. John lacks his signature beard in the photo. It almost looks wrong.

John chuckles, crossing his arms and leaning back in his rolling chair. “You could say that. You really didn’t know about our shop before you booked?”

You shake your head. “Nah, I just saw y’all get recommended on Reddit.”

He barks out a laugh at that. It’s a low, pleased sound that sends a shiver down your spine. His beard only emphasizes the apples of his cheeks as he smiles. Yeah, that’s the other thing, having a hot boss is kind of fire.

Plus, he’s not the only one. The whole studio is full of hunks.

Kyle is easily the prettiest man you’ve ever seen. Like, run for Miss Universe pretty. Big doe eyes with a little scar on his cheekbone - small golden hoops glitter from both his earlobes. They frame his face so well, creating a perfect diamond from them to his sparkling eyes to his pretty smile; curled and genuine with perfect teeth. He walks you through the booking process step by step, that first day, a warm hand on your back and the other tracing down the columns of the physical appointment book.

His work is as beautiful as he is. At least, the ones done on fake skin. John hasn’t let him tattoo anyone for real yet - but his practice sketches are immaculate. At least to a layman. Kyle himself never seems quite satisfied with them. He gets such vivid color, though.

“Tattooing darker skin is an art form in and of itself.” He murmurs as he works on a piece of very dark fake skin. “I want people like me t’ be able t’ get exactly what they want, with just as much color as they want.”

You nod along, sipping at your coffee from across the street that you’ve taken up stopping at every day before work. Kyle has so much passion for the industry. The look he gets in his eyes while talking about it or designing a new piece makes your heart flutter.

Simon, the other resident artist, you’re the least familiar with. You can’t quite decide how to feel about him, or decipher how he feels about you. John introduced you a couple days after you started, but all you got was a perfunctory nod and a ‘good luck’. You couldn’t help but feel starstruck, despite his blunt nature. Both thick arms covered in full, detailed sleeves. High quality, ornate black work. A man of stature - six feet and some change with a breadth that a barn would envy. Pretty, blonde hair cropped just short of turning to curls and dark eyes that bore through you to the very core.

Sometimes, when he comes to ask about his next appointment, you let yourself indulge in the fantasy that he stands close because he likes you. That his knee briefly knocks against yours because he wants to touch you - not that you’re crazy enough to believe it. Just crazy enough to be a tiny bit delusional for the fun of it.

You meet their resident piercer on the weekend. Apparently, he’d been away visiting family your first week.

He leans up over the counter, grinning at you from ear to ear. A well-built man only a few inches shorter than the others with a perfectly groomed mohawk. “Well, hello there. Aren’t you a bonnie little thing?”

You frown, hackles raising instinctually. “Uh, can I help you?”

“Och, they dinnae tell ye about me yet? I’m hurt.” He pouts, thick brows emphasizing the puppy like nature of his blue eyes.

“Let her be, Soap.” Kyle sighs heavily, walking to his area of the front with a fresh sketchbook.

“Soap?” You repeat.

“Aye. Cause apparently I need my mouth washed out.” He pokes his tongue out, only to reveal a silver piercing. He holds a hand over the counter. “Johnny MacTavish.”

Johnny is the most egregious man you have ever met - always touching you in one way or another when he checks in about appointments and so on. His Scottish brogue rings in your ears, every word loud and confident. A hand finds it’s way around your waist, a finger poking under the band of whatever bottoms you wear that day. At any other job, you would have considered it harassment and tore him a new one.

Johnny’s different, though. If you shrug him off he steps away, if you flinch he pulls back. Plus, he does it to everyone else just as much as you. More, if you’re honest. If Simon is within arms reach they’re touching. You noticed Johnny pushing a hand under his shirt at one point, grabbing at the soft layer over Simon’s abs. (A great view for you, frankly.) Hell, you saw him casually hold Kyle’s hand while they were talking over lunch. Even John isn’t immune to the clinging. You don’t think much of it. Body modding attracts all sorts of people. If Johnny’s just a touchy guy then he’s just touchy. Besides, you don’t mind that much when he slips an arm around your waist or hooks his chin on your shoulder to talk to you. Warm breath tracing the shell of your ear with a quiet ‘bonnie lass’ punctuating ever other sentence. A slight pinch to your hip before he trots away to set up his station.

You feel nauseous when your trial month ends. John sits you down across from him in the back office. A practical space with not much more in it than a desk, computer and the large safe. None of you spend much time back here outside of counting down the cash and dragging the trash bags through the back door to the dumpster.

“Think you’ve done really well, dove.” He grins. You try to ignore the way the pet name looks warmth in your lower belly. “You’ve picked up quickly, you’re good on the phone. Kyle’s been very happy about the extra time to practice.”

You let out the biggest, most relieved sigh of your life, shoulders slumping slightly.

“You don’t seem to mind Johnny, but if he gets to be too much let me or Simon know, yeah? He means well but he can be… well, you know.” John says absently as he reaches for something across the desk. “How are you feelin’?”

You nod. “I, uh, feel good. I like this position a lot. Everyone’s been very welcoming.”

John nods along. “Good, good. I see no reason to not hire you on full time. Here.”

You hold put your hands as John drops a small, silver key into them. Holy shit! You get your own key! Up until now they’d been buzzing you in, but they’re trusting you with your very own key!

John must see the excitement on your face because he chuckles and extends a hand. “Welcome aboard, kid.”

A/N: I was very wine drunk writing most of this and it has next to no editing but I hope you enjoyed it! I just want something I can write that’s episodic and not as serious/brain heavy as Fancy or Across the Way

[tf-lover]

Masquerade Madness

A little fun organised by @bodyswapmischief, and one of the only celebrity tf's I'll probably ever write! Enjoy the masquerade!

~~~

The idea of a masked ball was, at least in theory, the type of event Henry should enjoy. He was a famous actor, used to being in the public eye and in front of a camera. Only, he was dreading it. His agent had signed him up to attend, and as much as he could put on the charismatic face for the press, half the time he would rather be at home than at another event. Reading, video games and even stuff like Warhammer, the star had always been a not so secret nerd. He always had eyes on him though no matter where he was or who he was with. As much as he loved his craft, it was times like this he felt like a break for a night.

That's where Kade came in. He often acted as security for Henry, so they knew each other well. For the last several years at various events and on the occasional filming set he'd been Henry's personal bodyguard; the two had become fast friends. Kade was the stereotype of the rough bodyguard too; bearded and tattooed with closely shaved hair, one look told you almost everything you needed to know.

“What I wouldn't do for a night off you know?” Henry said once he emerged from the bathroom after a shower. “Feels like I never get any time to myself anymore.”

Kade, who would be driving Henry to the event and accompanying him inside, nodded in agreement. “I know man, I get you. It's a hard job being loved and thirsted over by so many people.” There was a hint of teasing in Kade’s tone, one only he could get away with. 

Henry rolled his eyes, but couldn't help the slight smirk on his lips. “Yeah yeah, I know. I'm thankful for everything I have, don't get me wrong. I just… I don't know.”

“Well, what if I said Henry Cavill can still show up at this event and you can take a bit of a break for the night?” Kade had a hint of mischief in his eyes when Henry turned to face him. “You don't get it, I know dude. New tech in the industry.”

“Out with it Kade, what on earth are you going on about?” Henry folded his arms and frowned, more confused than anything else. 

Kade pulled a small circular device out of one of his pockets and held it up. It was no bigger than his palm and had what looked like a scanner of some sort on either side. Other than that though it was sleek high-tech, giving away no extra information on what its purpose was. 

“Military tech they ended up not using and selling off. Was meant for covert undercover operations so I'm told. The two of us use this to switch bodies, then I go to the party as you and you can just chill at my side. How's that sound?”

Henry… didn't know what to make of that. It was absurd, it had to be. It was like the plot of one of the movies he'd find himself in, not real life. Yet, there was something in Kade’s eyes that said he wasn’t bullshitting. Henry knew Kade well enough to know when he was joking around, and this wasn’t even close to one of those times. 

“I know it’s a lot to take in man, but think about it.” Kade said as the other man spent a moment processing the information. “You don't have to ‘turn on’ that public persona people expect and can just vibe as me. You know security at these things is airtight even without some of the personal guards like me there, you'll have it easy.”

Henry was silent another moment before responding. “You know what? Alright, let's try it.” He gave Kade a small smile before holding a hand out. “How does this work then? Do we just-”

Kade stepped closer and smacked the device he was holding down into Henry's outstretched palm before the celebrity could finish his sentence. A jolt passed through both as their hands came into contact with the plastic surface, now fully activated with two participants. In less time than it took either to blink, Henry and Kade found the world around them suddenly shifted. Where Henry had been standing in a bathrobe and mentally preparing himself for another evening at another public event, now he found himself looking back at that very same face. The one he was used to seeing in the mirror now stood opposite him with an uncharacteristic smirk. 

“Having fun there Kade?” Henry said when he saw his own smirking face. The voice that came from his mouth being a different one was definitely odd, but seeing himself was moreso.

Kade in Henry’s body laughed. “I was going to say the same to you Kade, since I’m fairly sure I’m the world famous Mr Henry Cavill right now.” Kade turned back to the bathroom and went to the mirror, running his hands over his new face. He knew this one well of course from films and working with Henry, but he never believed he’d actually get a chance to see it looking back at him. “Man, every time I’ve done this and it’s still fucking wild.” He said to himself.

Henry had followed his own body to the bathroom and watched as his bodyguard inspected Henry’s own handsome features. The strong, stubbled jaw, piercing eyes and just the faintest hint of chest hair that poked out of the robe he’d been wearing after the shower. Like anyone, Henry could really understand why Kade was so fascinated with being one of the hottest actors on the planet.

“Oh, you probably haven’t noticed yet dude, have you?” Kade stepped back from the mirror and turned to face himself. “Something different you haven’t spotted, should have mentioned it before really but I didn’t want you to freak out about it.”

Henry frowned. He didn’t know what Kade was going on about, and he was on the verge of saying as much when Kade did something he didn’t expect. He pulled off the bathrobe and dropped it to the floor, letting Henry get a good look at his ripped, naked body in all its glory. His mouth went dry. Objectively he knew he was attractive, he always had since being in such a public position, but now he could really feel it. Kade’s familiar smirk was plastered now over Henry’s features as the man flexed and gave his chest a squeeze, all with a look in his eyes that said he knew exactly what he was doing. 

“See, one thing they discovered is sexuality and attraction is mostly tied to your body.” Kade started to explain as he kept teasing and running his hands down over Henry’s hairy chest and stomach. “So right now you’re as gay as I usually am. Once you’ve been doing this long enough you learn to be able to ignore the physical sexuality, but for a newbie like you…” Kade’s eyes flicked down to the obviously hard bulge between Henry’s legs. “Sorry to say you’ll have to be alright relaxing as a gay dude today.”

“Y-Yeah, I’m sure it’ll be fine…” Henry mumbled whilst he couldn’t take his eyes off himself. “Guess I can see what everyone means for myself now. Are you always this attracted to me?”

Kade nodded. “Yeah, I mean who isn’t? But just like you don’t go getting hard over every attractive girl you see, it’s just the same.” He shrugged. “You learn to control yourself. Working with you is just business, not like I’m going to go over any boundaries that would be inappropriate.”

The mention of inappropriate boundaries sent other thoughts running through Henry’s mind. Thoughts of things he could do with men he’d never been interested in before, thoughts of things he could do with his own body. His cheeks flushed a brilliant pink for a moment before he shook his head; he had to get himself back under control. He was usually calm and collected, even if he was in Kade’s body and gay that didn’t give him an excuse to be ogling another man. Even if was technically his body he was getting an eyeful off and Kade was freely showing it off, it still didn’t feel appropriate. 

“You should umm, get dressed Henry. You’ve got a party to get to, right?” Henry said in an attempt to deflect from the new stuff he was feeling. They’d made this swap for a reason, so he could have a night off and still make an appearance, so the sooner they got on with that the better. “Suit is in the bedroom.”

Kade let out a short laugh and a nod. “You’re right of course Kade. I’ll get myself dressed and ready to go, then you can drive me to the event okay?” Kade in Henry’s body turned and walked off in the direction he knew the actor’s bedroom was, all the while giving Henry a good long look at his muscular ass cheeks and how they flexed as he moved away.

~~~

It wasn’t long until the pair were ready and on their way to the party.

Kade had got all dressed up in Henry’s suit for the evening, including a custom made black mask by some designer he couldn’t remember the name of. He pulled the whole thing off well. Henry knew he would, after all he’d tried the whole outfit on days ago to make sure it all fit properly, but he hadn’t expected to be the one on this side of things. To be the one sat in the driver's seat of the car when he’d taken them both to the event.

Or to be the one trying not to look at how fucking hot hs own body looked in the suit his agent had picked out with the designers. Being gay because of the swap left him feeling all sorts of things, but chief among them was an undeniable attraction to himself. It was fucked up he knew that, but the drive over followed by silently following behind up the red carpet only hammered that nail down into the metaphorical coffin. Henry thought he was hot as fuck, just like many other gay fans had made clear, now he was almost one of them.

Kade didn’t make it any easier either. He showed just how good at his job he was as he smiled to the cameras, spoke to the occasional reporter and all round pulled off an incredibly convincing Henry Cavill. There were small things that only Henry could notice being off, but to anyone else they’d have no reason to believe he wasn’t himself as the pair made their way inside. And Henry really was getting a taste of the flip side of all this; he couldn’t remember the last time he’d walked down a red carpet and been as completely and utterly ignored as he was in Kade’s body. It was like he wasn’t even there. People moved around him like nothing, cameras flashed over his shoulders to capture anyone and everyone that wasn’t him; he was invisible. 

The whole evening was more of the same for Henry. Or, for Kade as he made sure to introduce himself to a handful of the other security guards dotted around for other celebrities. It was strange at first, but the more he stood around chatting the more he felt like it was refreshing not to be recognised or idolised. He didn't have to “switch on” into his public facing actor mode like he'd been talking to Kade about earlier in the day, he could be his comfortable, relaxed self. All the while he watched from a distance as the real Kade in Henry's body danced and chatted and ate. All the things he should be doing but often found to be the exhausting part of being an actor. 

“So, how are you finding things Kade? No issues with security?” The real Kade said later on in the evening when they got a spare moment together. Just a high profile celeb checking in with his security, that was all it looked like. 

Henry nodded. “Yes Mr Cavill, all good on my end. I hope you’re having a pleasant evening?” It wasn’t hard to play the role of security guard for Henry, he was an actor after all. 

“Yes yes, of course. All good fun events like these are, as you well know. And this suit is nice, makes me look good doesn’t it?” Something about the way Kade spoke with Henry’s voice was different to before. Lower, more heated. Maybe it was just to be heard over the crowd of people, but it didn’t feel like that quite. It felt like… more. “I’ve seen your eyes on me this evening Kade, and I want you to know I understand. Being so close can’t be easy on a night like tonight for you, if you catch my drift. One night, get it out of your system, if you think that would help?”

Henry couldn’t believe his ears. Kade, his long-term, always professional bodyguard, was suggesting something so… so sordid. This was a side of Kade he didn’t show for the sake of keeping to the job, but now something was crackling between them. Henry could feel it, a palpable tension in the air that he realised had probably been there since they first swapped earlier. 

“You, You’re still gay, aren’t you.” Henry stated, since he already knew the answer. “You’ve done this enough that even in my body you’re still attracted to men… like I am right now as you.”

“That’s right Kade. As of this moment Henry Cavill is currently as gay as it gets, whether we’re talking about his body or his mind.” Kade said in that same low voice that Henry could now hear was dripping with arousal. Not one he ever imagined he’d be on this side of, or getting this turned on by either. “I get this is crossing a boundary between us, but I also get the sense that’s a boundary you’d rather like to cross right now, isn’t it?”

All Henry could do was silently nod his agreement. Since the swap earlier that evening he hadn’t been able to get it out of his mind. If he was a stronger person maybe he could have held back and kept things professional, but then wasn’t the whole reason he had agreed to this swap in the first place because he was tired of always having to put on the professional face? Always serving the public and never himself; maybe it was time that changed. 

“Let’s get out of here Henry, I think for your safety you should let me take you home, there’s been a few suspicious characters at this party looking at you a little too closely for my liking.” Henry slipped himself back into the bodyguard role and smirked at Kade as he spoke; if this was his once chance to really experience this before it was over he wasn’t going to waste it. 

~~~

An hour later, Henry was on his back getting his ass absolutely destroyed by his own cock. 

“Yes, fuck me Henry!! Nnnghhh… oh fucking hell bro I never thought a celebrity could fuck so good!” Henry held onto Kade’s shoulders and let his moans freely fill the room, though right now it was hotter to imagine himself as Kade. To imagine for a moment that he wasn’t Henry Cavill having swapped bodies, he was this bodyguard finally getting fucked by the star he’d been protecting. 

Kade, or Henry as he too found it hot to think of himself as, was much in the same boat. “Yeah Kade? Can’t believe I haven’t been fucking men until now, I’ve been missing out!” The current Henry shouted as he fucked down into the hole around his cock. He’d swapped with many celebrities in the past, but never had it landed him in an outcome as hot as this one. He was Henry fucking Cavill! The one and only, and with the former Henry getting so into addressing Kade by the name that matched his body it was easy to get lost in that fantasy. 

The two kept going in that same rhythm long into the evening. Henry had fully embraced being Kade the bad boy bodyguard, so much so that when the former Kade above him moaned that name in his ear it didn’t feel at all wrong. It felt right. Liberating even. He wasn’t anyone in the public eye, he was someone completely invisible to them. And had one of the hottest celebrities on the planet cumming in his ass all night like an absolute beast. The new Henry had skills he never thought possible, the new Henry above him could do all the public stuff and fuck like the king Hollywood saw him as. It was giving him ideas already for their future…

~~~

2 years later…

Henry and Kade hadn’t looked back since that first swap. 

The evening they spent together riding and sucking and fucking was one of the hottest either man had experienced. Enough so that the real Henry asked if Kade could make his body gay when they swapped back. He could, it turned out, leave his lingering sexuality in Henry’s body and corrupt it to be gay instead of straight. 

Not that Henry spent a whole lot of time in his own body as it was anymore. 

For filming and such he still stayed as himself, but that was about it. He still loved to act more than anything and didn’t want to give that up. But besides when he was on a job, Henry spent all his time as Kade instead. The name Henry had even started to feel slightly odd to him now he spent almost all his time as Kade the tattooed stud. It was far more relaxing than being his old self, and the pair made enough money to support them both just using Henry. The old Henry would do the acting, then the new permanent Henry would take over and spend the rest of the time doing all the publicity and stuff. Kade, as the former star now thought of himself, was more than happy to let his boyfriend take the spotlight when he was overall better at it than Kade had ever been. 

The new and improved Henry had even gone to the lengths of coming out of the closet and introducing the world to his boyfriend Kade. If only they all knew the reality of the situation, but that was only for them. Henry Cavill, lost lusted after by gay men the world over, was now officially part of the gay community too, and it had sent fans into a frenzy. 

Kade had got used to thinking of himself as a gay man now though. It was why he’d asked his boyfriend to make sure his old body was still gay when he used it for filming. Going back to being his old straight Henry Cavill self when he was filming had weirded him out for all of 48 hours before letting it get fixed up so he was gay regardless of which body he was in. 

He loved his new easier life away from all the rapid publicity, and loved his soon to be husband even more for giving him this life accidentally. One last public affair to give the new Henry Cavill the proposal he deserved, then he would really be done with the exhausting side of his old life.

[nickssidewitch]

Is It Destiny?

Destiny, an upcoming YouTuber, meets Matt Sturniolo in a café in New York City. They part ways after their brief encounter there, but keep up with each other online. What will happen when they meet up in person again for the first time in months?

Warnings: Fluff, Meet-Cute, Smut (SoftDom!Matt x Sub!OC), First Orgasm, dry-humping/grinding, Oral (Male-Receiving) w/ deepthroating

(And yes, the Layla in this fic is the same Layla of my previous fic, “Chris’s Dilemma” as this is technically a chapter 2 of a series I plan on writing!! 🥰)

***

New York’s colder than what Destiny remembered of it. The gray, fuzzy sky blew a sharp, chilly breeze that pricked the skin of her face every time it brushed against her.

She was there from Florida– a big difference in climate to New York– for a Creator Summit that YouTube was hosting, one that she had attended for a few years now. It proved to be a great networking event for her and many other creators. She’d already met so many good friends and coworkers there, so she decided she should give this year a go.

Among those she had met was her best friend Layla, who has been a close companion of hers since the very first time she went to the Creator Summit.

Layla at the time was a creator on the rise, gaining popularity with her makeup tutorials, travel vlogs, and fashion hauls, while Destiny was simply a consumer of Layla and other creators’ content, deliberating on whether or not she should join the industry as well. While walking through the streets of Miami, where her first Creator’s Summit was held, she stumbled upon Layla vlogging her own experience for her channel. And after the two shared their greetings, they’d become inseparable since.

The second Summit that Destiny attended was where she met two other friends, Dawn and Malia. Dawn was a full-time musician and part-time YouTuber, and she was set to perform for both days of the Summit, which was why Destiny was there a week earlier. Malia, a sports journalist who was the wife of one of the biggest soccer players in the world, occasionally made her own Youtube videos as well. They all would hang out together from then on, forming their own little group that not only they loved, but the fans loved as well.

As she walked down the bustling pavements of the loud and proud city, she came across a little coffee shop. It was genuinely little: not more than 20 chairs, two at each table, and some content patrons enjoying their drinks as they sat at each one. Some were on their computers, a couple of what looked like college or highschool students were probably having small conversations about the latest school gossip, and a cute elderly couple sat with what Des believed to be their granddaughter. It was such a small and intimate community in this café, and Des was happy to join them, even if only for about 15 minutes, to escape the chilly autumn winds and the rush hour of the city.

She walked up to the line and waited her turn, looking up at the menu options to figure out what drink best suited her mood for now. The problem, however, was that Destiny was quite an indecisive person. Whenever she was presented with options of anything, she never had any idea to come up with a final answer, and would usually depend on someone else’s response. A curse, indeed.

Almost as if they could sense this exhausting personality trait of Des’s, a voice spoke up beside her. “I personally like the cinnamon cappuccino,” it suggested.

Destiny looked over at where the voice was coming from; it was a young man, seemingly around the same age as her, with short brunette hair, striking blue eyes that laid under hooded eyelids. His thin lips were a cute shade of baby pink that arched in a warm smile at her. She looked down at his hands— his attractive, veiny hands adorned with the prettiest rings and tattoos— and noticed him holding a small cup of what she would assume was the cappuccino he suggested to her.

“Oh, th- thank you,” was all that Des could manage to reply with. Her brain was still processing what was happening. That man is too pretty to be interacting with me, she thought to herself. She truly didn’t believe it.

“No problem!” He said with the same warm and pretty smile on his lips. His voice was subtle in his suggestion– not overenthusiastic or pushy– yet it was so charming and approachable. He took a sip of his beverage and licked his lips before speaking again. “It seemed like it was your first time here, so I just wanted to help you out somehow.”

“Oh, well, thank you for that,” Des chuckled and continued, “It is my first time here actually. I lived in New York for a little bit, but relocated to Florida with my family. Last time I was here was around 10 years ago, and this café wasn’t here at the time.” She walked up one spot in the line as it was nearing her time to place her order, but the man walked up with her, almost as if he came to the café with her. Usually Des would have an issue with this— some random man walking up to her out of nowhere and starting a random conversation— but something about this man made her feel comfortable. He intrigued her, not just appearance-wise, but something about his aura. So, she didn’t mind his actions at all.

“Oh, Florida? The weather must be a huge shock for you, then,” The man laughed to himself. “Why come to New York in the winter? The aesthetics? Or you wanted to do some free cryotherapy?”

Des laughed and made another step closer to the café employee. “Nah, I’m here for…” She paused as she thought about how to word this– she didn't want to seem like another one of those pompous influencer girls. As the lightbulb lit up in her head, she smiled and continued with her answer, “For a work event.”

“A work event, huh?” The man inquired. Des noticed a smile creep up on his lips and she swore she could hear a small chuckle escape. Did he catch onto her vagueness? “I don’t wanna seem like a creep, but does it have to do with YouTube stuff?”

Shit. He got me.

Des responded, “Um, yeah. It’s YouTube stuff. A little summit for creators”.

“Oh, I’m aware of the event,” he reassured her with a slyness to his voice, almost like he was familiar with the event (he was, obviously). “I’m Matt,” the boy introduced himself, extending his hand for Des to shake it. The warm and welcoming smile never left his lips. “I noticed I didn’t really introduce myself. My bad.”

Des shook Matt’s hand, but the moment their hands touched, it felt like her knees started to wobble. His hand… wow. The skin was so soft and warm. She could finally feel the veins that she noticed when she first looked at them. The rings adorned on his fingers were cold to the touch, causing her to wince internally. Her mind started to wander into places it probably shouldn’t wander the first time you meet someone— things of a rather erotic nature— but she quickly caught herself and managed to utter, “My name’s Destiny, but people call me Des for short.”

He repeated her name to himself, “Destiny?”, and a smile appeared on his lips. “I love that name. It suits you. Really pretty.”

Des’s cheeks grew warm and a tinted darker brown as her brain processed Matt calling both her and her name pretty. Did he know he was a pretty boy? She should tell him? Should she? Would that be weird? Who cares? Maybe he would be flattered. Or maybe he wouldn’t? Maybe he-

“So, you mentioned you were here for the Creator Summit?” He asked, interrupting her thoughts. Des nodded, and Matt chuckled to himself before continuing. “I’ve been there with my brothers, since we’re creators. It’s a good event. Lots of nice people there. You can meet creators old and new. It’s a great way to network.”

“Yeah, it’s not my first time going there actually,” a smile began to beam on her face as she thought of her first two times there, and memories of her, Layla, Dawn, and Malia meeting popped up in her mind. “I met some of my closest friends there a couple of years ago.”

“Aw, that’s really sweet,” Matt took a sip of his own hot cocoa before continuing, “Maybe you’ll make more friends this year.”

There was a beat of silence between the two of them as they both took their respective times deliberating on what to say next. And then Matt offered something that Des would have never believed.

“Maybe we can be friends?” He asked, before his brain caught up with what he was saying, causing him to clear his throat and follow with a nervous chuckle. He clarified, “Not just ‘creator friends’, but maybe something more?”

Des’s heart didn’t skip beats this time; she could have sworn it fully stopped beating for 5 seconds. She noticed a blush appear on Matt’s face before she averted her eyes from him.

Matt noticed her look away for a bit, and he made his eyes travel to find hers again, wanting to decipher if she was weirded out by the question or if she was just thinking about it. He did word it kind of weirdly, but maybe she didn’t take it that way.

Her next words confirmed the latter. “Sure. We can be friends,” she finally answered with a smile on her face, and Matt was relieved.

The more Matt studied her face, the more he noticed how cute of a nervous wreck she was. The way her cheeks seemed to grow more of a rosy undertone, the slight tremble of her hand as she held her coffee cup, the way she would never give him direct eye contact unless he manually brought his eyes to hers. He could understand it though; meeting new people is always difficult.

“Cool!” He said, and with that, it was time for Des to order her drink. “One medium cup of your cinnamon cappuccino, please,” Matt could hear her order, and he was warmed by her actually taking up his suggestion.

Des finally finished with her order and stood by the side of the counter as she waited for her drink. “So, ‘friends’,” She uttered to herself and looked towards Matt, who heard what she said and nodded in agreement.

“Yep, friends,” he returned. “And since we’re friends, maybe we can keep in touch?” Matt caught his words and realized how weird he must have sounded. So, he followed it up by saying, “I mean, you don’t have to give me your number or anything. E-mail is fine. Or something else; I don’t know,” all followed by a nervous laugh and trembling hands.

Des chuckled for a bit before she silenced herself, not wanting to seem like she was laughing at him or his obvious nervousness (she knew she probably came across as obviously nervous in his eyes). “Well, I never heard of friends exchanging emails; that’s more of an associate or coworker thing.” She heard Matt start to laugh, which gave her an okay to release the chuckles she kept to herself aloud alongside him. It was cute to see him flustered, but she appreciated him not wanting to seem too forward.

“Oh yeah, true. I just didn’t want to seem like I was pressuring you to give me your number or contacts or anything. I know how that could feel,” Matt reassured her, but he could tell by her body language that she seemed comfortable at the moment. Her smile was soft and warm, not forcing any teeth to fake her happiness. She wasn’t a loud talker, similar to him, and their auras just seemed to mesh so well together.

“I’ll give you my number and my Instagram,” she said as she pulled her phone out from her backpack.

Des took a sip of her cappuccino. The smooth and decadent flavor of the drink mixed with the presence of Matt as this moment soothed her in the midst of the New York pandemonium.

“So, where’re you going after this?” Matt asked her curiously.

Destiny took another sip of her drink. “I’m going back to my hotel,” she answered. “I heard it’s gonna rain later, and I know New York gets dark and kinda hectic when it rains.”

Matt laughed, “Yeah, it’s kinda like Massachusetts, where I’m from.” He drank his coffee and continued, “Everyone’s just in a rush to escape the weather.” Another minute of silence passed before he spoke up again. “Do you want me to walk you back to your hotel? I’m not busy right now, and I know the streets can kinda get confusing with the crowds and everything.”

Des blushed and stammered as her brain processed his question. “Um, well, I mean I don’t know- I don’t want to put you in the middle of all of that, too.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m kind of used to it by now, trust me,” he insisted, and he was indeed used to it, his mind flashing images of the crowds of fans that would follow him and his brothers in big cities like this. “I can help you carry your bag.” He directed his eyes to her backpack sitting on the chair next to hers.

Des blushed. “Oh, well, thanks so much, Matt,” she said with a genuine smile. She didn’t expect him to be so… chivalrous. It was attractive, but just not she was used to when it came to men.

The two got up from their seats, Matt lifting up the bag and her carrying her coffee, and left the small shop. He held the door open for her, as he knew a gentleman should.

Matt adjusted the strap of Destiny’s backpack as the weight tensed on his shoulder. He really didn’t mind carrying it for her though; she was worth the hassle. Des walked in front of him, leading the way as he happily followed. As he continued to walk behind her, he could smell sweet fragrances passing him by; the scents of the oils in her hair mixed with her perfume blended well together.

They both finally stopped and looked up at the marquee of the building which read “The Maximilian”. “Well, this is my hotel,” Des said.

Matt smiled and handed her the backpack. Their hands brushed against each other’s, causing Matt’s heart to skip a beat and Des’s breath to hitch. They weren’t expecting that brief touch, but it seemed as if it was fate’s doing, as if the divine had used invisible magnets in the pair’s hands that attracted them to each other.

Des let out a small chuckle as she regained her composure. “It was nice meeting you, Matt!” She said with a smile, and the man could have sworn his knees were nearly jelly as he heard her goodbye.

Matt smiled back. “You, too. I’ll text you, trust me,” he added the last part with the utmost sincerity. He hoped that she trusted him with that.

“I know you will,” Des said as her mouth just went with the flow of the moment, flirting with the man without even consulting with her brain first. Matt chuckled and began to wave goodbye as she walked into the hotel.

Des rushed to her room and quickly shut the door as she jumped onto her bed. She was like a giddy, giggly nerdy kid who just got the cool, popular boy’s attention at school, flailing her legs around excitedly and screaming into her pillow. Was she excited about talking to a cute boy? Yes. Was she also fighting for her life and having a lowkey panic attack because she spoke to a cute boy? Also yes. Was the screaming and kicking her feet up a mixture of the two emotions? Absolutely. And what happened a few minutes later set her off even more.

Ding! An unsaved number texted her, and the text read, “Hey, it’s me, Matt! It was nice to talk to you today! Enjoy that coffee. Hopefully we can talk again soon!” followed by a smiley face.

“Fuck me,” Des uttered to herself in disbelief of what she had gotten herself into.

***

Throughout the next 5 months, Matt and Des had been talking to each other on and off, sometimes about their growing Youtube careers, other times about casual things like their hobbies and their families. They would mainly text each other, but as they got more comfortable with each other, texts turned to Discord calls while playing Fortnite or silly little Roblox horror games, and silly littles games became late-night Facetime calls while doing their nighttime routines or while snuggled up in their beds. There were some nights where one would catch the other fallen asleep during the call. You know, the stuff friends do.

Matt would usually talk to her at night, but throughout the day he would find himself sending her little memes or even photos of things that reminded him of her. His brothers didn’t really know all the details. In fact, they virtually didn’t know anything other than the fact that they’d notice Matt sneaking texts underneath the table whenever they would eat together, that he’d get distracted on his phone when they filmed car videos, or that Matt was a bit more enthusiastic about waking up in the morning, sometimes even waking up earlier than the two of them, which was uncommon for him. It was weird, but at least they could acknowledge he seemed more up in spirits.

Destiny’s friends would ask her about the guy she was talking to, but she wouldn’t make it a big deal. “We’re not even dating,” she would say as an excuse, which was reasonable, of course. She didn’t feel it was appropriate to introduce them to someone she wasn’t even sure she would be romantically involved with. She didn’t want to get her hopes up to the point where a rejection would physically and mentally destroy her. She would, however, give them little details about him such as how he was a YouTuber, or that he had siblings, or how they met at the Creator’s Summit in New York. They would have little investigations (especially Layla) about who the mystery man could be. But up to this point, they still haven’t figured him out, which was great for Des.

Des and Matt’s friendship was working very well, even with the physical distances between them; Destiny living in Florida and Matt constantly traveling between California and Massachusetts. But that’s the thing: their relationship was long distance, and long-distance relationships can only go so far before the proximity becomes a problem. Des decided to bring it up one night during one of their FaceTime calls, stuttering her way through her part of the conversation as she tried to find the best wording for her suggestion to reunite with him in person. She was going to LA anyway to stay with her friends for a half-vlog-half-vacation trip, so she thought it would be nice to meet up with him, even just for a day or two.

Matt laid in bed as he received the information, seemingly calm if one looked at him from a distance, but his heart was actually pounding out of his chest. A heap of questions began to rush through his brain. She wanted to meet up with me? Oh my god, what does that mean? As friends or like… Oh gosh.

He simply nodded his head and gave her a promising smile. “Of course. I think it’s about time we hung out in real life again. We said we’d be more than just content or online friends, right?” His cheeks heated up as he heard Des’s cute little giggle from across the screen.

“Yeah, you’re right,” she replied. “So, I’ll text you all the details of my flight and my schedule and everything.”

“Okay, sure,” he said. As his anxiety grew, there were more thoughts. Fuck, is she coming to my house? Do I have to go to where she’s staying?

“It’s 2 AM already? Damn, I’m gonna go to sleep. I’m supposed to go to the nail salon with Dawn tomorrow.”

“Aw, okay. It was nice talking to you. Goodnight! Love y-” Matt quickly bit his lip as he heard the last two words about to slip from his mouth. Hopefully, she didn’t hear me.

“What’d you say?” Des asked. Thank God she had a genuine look of confusion on her face, and Matt mentally wiped the sweat from his forehead.

“I was saying ‘Goodnight and sweet dreams’”, he answered as he played off his Freudian slip. “The phone must’ve glitched.”

Des smiled. “Oh okay! Goodnight to you, too, Matt.” And the call ended.

And even more thoughts rolled in. Oh my God, what if I embarrass myself around her like I almost did? Does she even really wanna see me, or is she just saying that to be nice? What clothes do I wea-

“Matt!” A voice said, and a knock coming from his door snapped Matt back to reality. He realized it was Nick.

“Yeah?” he called back out.

“Is my charger in your room?” Nick opened Matt’s door a bit to speak to him more directly. “I texted you about it, but you didn’t answer, so I had to make this long ass, unnecessary trip all the way from my room to yours to ask you.”

Matt brushed off the shade and jolted to look around his bedroom and grabbed Nick’s charger as he noticed it on his nightstand. “Yeah, I got it. Hold on,” he said as he got up and walked over to his bedroom door, handing Nick the charger through the crack he had open.

“Thanks,” Nick expressed, before he saw the look on Matt’s face. “Are you good? You look pale… paler than usual,” he continued. He was joking with him, but there was a genuine concern there.

Matt raised his eyebrow at his brother. He knew why Nick would say that, but he had to deflect somehow. “I’m good! Don’t worry about it.” He feigned a smile.

“Well, that makes me worry.” Nick refuted.

“Well, I said don’t worry about it,” Matt snapped back, before sighing as he realized he was getting tense. “Trust me, I’m fine, Nick.”

“Okay…” Nick said with a hint of hesitation. “Well, goodnight. And keep your notifications on, please? I hate walking back and forth.”

Matt nodded and watched Nick walk off before shutting his door. A wave of relief caused him to sigh before walking towards his closet and taking a look inside. He analyzed each shirt and pants on the hangers and racks, leaving him with just one thought.

I guess I gotta prepare from now…

***

The door to Des’s place swung open and she looked around, taking in the view of the interior of the house she was staying in for the week. She was finally in LA for her little vacation trip with her friends, and thank God she was able to rent her own place for the time being.

As she finished getting herself settled in (and by finished I mean putting her luggage to the side until she remembers to unpack later), she decided to let everyone know of her arrival, including Matt. She laid onto her bed and texted him “I’m in LA right now! Just arrived this morning” with a little heart face emoji as the cherry on top. She placed her phone on her nightstand and connected it to her charger as she went into the bathroom for a quick shower to wash herself off.

***

Matt looked at his phone as it sat on the stand attached to the Desboard of his car, the ding interrupting his focus as he continued to drive home. He had just finished having a meeting about a book he was working on, one that discussed anxiety and mental health from both a personal and professional perspective. He had been working on this book as a secret kept from his fans for about ten months now, constantly holding meetings with co-writers and editors, as well as doing interviews with therapists of all kinds.

Matt tapped onto his phone and it revealed a message from Destiny which read “I’m in LA right now! Just arrived this morning” with a smiley heart face emoji. His heart jumped as he started to think about what his life will be like this week with her finally being in close proximity to him. They made a promise that they would hang out for some time while she was here for the rest of the month, he just had to figure out when and where exactly.

Luckily, he had some days where he wouldn’t be having book meetings. But, he had to figure out how to designate time away from Nick and Chris. He really didn’t want to, but he felt that he had to. He and Des weren’t technically dating, technically not even real-life friends outside of the half-hour they spent in that coffee shop in New York. Bringing her up out of nowhere to his brothers would make them confused, but hiding her from them also felt like a crime. He couldn’t risk it though.

As Matt arrived home, he quickly texted Des his itinerary for the week and called her, a smile never leaving his face as he began to suggest things that the two of them could do together. He told her about a cute crêperia where they had “the best crêpes he has ever had”, and about a little botanical garden that he recently went to with his brothers and his friend Madi. In the back of his mind, he could get her a special flower there? He chuckled as he thought of the millions of ways to express his gratitude for her coming all the way to LA wanting to spend time with him in the midst of her busy schedule. But… were they dates? Honestly…

He wasn’t even sure yet. Here came the self-doubt.

***

Today was their first day meeting in-person since their time at the café in New York.

Matt waited outside of a brunch place he had suggested for the two of them to eat. He kept his eyes peeled for Destiny; he didn’t want to miss a second with her.

After a few minutes of aimlessly scrolling through his phone to pass the time, he finally heard a familiar cute voice from his right side. “Hey!!” Matt turned and looked at Des holding her hand out for a shake. Almost as if his body reacted involuntarily, his arms wrapped around her body for a hug.

Des was startled at first, but his touch and the warmth of his body instantly calmed her. The two shared a tight embrace before Matt pulled away to look at her, all of her. “How’ve you been?”

She noticed his eyes on her, almost like he was examining her, which would make sense since their first time seeing their whole bodies in person after a while. “I’ve been well!” she answered with a smile, the same smile that almost made Matt want to fall to his knees back at the coffee shop where they first met.

“Yeah?” Matt asked rhetorically. But, the way he said it… something about it made Des’s heart jump. And not only her heart had that reaction; Des shifted her position a bit as she felt the bundle of nerves between her legs pulse. Her brain did its best to shove those nasty thoughts in a vault and lock it as she nodded her head and asked back, “How’ve you been?”

Matt answered, “I’m good. But, even better now that you’re here.” He smiled, causing Des to let out a small titter, not knowing how to really respond to that. The Generation Z jumped out and came to her rescue, following the small nervous chuckle with a “same”.

Matt chuckled back and said, “Well, we should head inside. I hope you’re hungry, ‘cause you’re gonna want to eat everything off this place’s menu.” Matt’s face lit up as he saw Des laugh at his joke. This girl really knew how to make his heart flutter without even trying. And with that, he placed his hand on her upper back, swung the door open, and escorted her into the building. He swore he could feel her breath hitch as he touched her.

***

Their little date went well. They spoke to each other with the same energy as they would usually do over the phone. It was face-to-face now though, which added an extra layer of intimacy amongst them. They started to notice things about each other, especially in their body language, that they had never noticed before, since those months on FaceTime they pretty much always saw each other from the chest up with the usual “fit checks” being the only full-body exceptions.

Every moment Des would glance up at him, he would already have his eyes on her, then would quickly look away as he realized she caught him. She noticed that he never looked at his phone other than to check a phone call from his brother Chris, giving her the green flag that he actually paid full attention to her. She saw how he would bite his lip every time she shifted herself in her seat, and how he would stroke his hand through his hair whenever she complimented him, a sort of nervous tick. It was cute.

Matt was just as observant. He would watch the way she ate her food from the moment she picked it up with a fork, to the way she would chew, to the way she would swallow and wipe her mouth in case anything was on her lips. He noticed her fidget in her seat, especially when she was being complimented or praised. She would even shift sometimes when he would crack a little teasing joke at her. It was cute.

How the fuck would they both get through the rest of the week if they kept studying each other like this?

***

To answer the question, it went pretty well despite Des and Matt being in their heads about it. They checked off every box they had planned in their joint itinerary, with Matt showing her in some of his favorite places in LA, and Des happily following along, happy to learn more about the area, Matt himself, and their personal dynamics together.

The final stop for this week was Matt’s office where he’d met up with book editors and publishers before. He had a meeting earlier that day and everyone had left, so he knew he could take her here. It would be perfect: no distractions, no people walking in to disturb the flow, he could show her around and give her the inside scoop about his project, and he didn’t have to worry about being around her with fans or anyone watching their every move. And the added bonus of him still wearing his semi-professional office clothes. Just perfect.

He walked her around the office, showing her concept boards and first drafts, and told her about his book. As he spoke, he noticed the way her face would light up. Did she like the book that much? Or did she like the fact that he liked making it?

They finally finished the tour, and now they’re sitting on the gray couch in the room together, wondering what to do next.

“It’s been nice to spend this week hanging out with you,” Matt said, the satisfaction in his tone aligning with the words he spoke. “I just really love your energy.”

Des’s heart skipped a beat as she registered his words. Love my energy? she asked herself. “We only met in person for at most 30 minutes in that café,” she said with a laugh, and then continued, “And now we’ve only spent a week sneaking around together. What’s there to love?”

Matt’s body shifted, spreading his legs in a more relaxed stance as he felt himself get a bit tense. She was right, he could admit to himself. It’s only been a week of talking to someone face to face for the second time ever and he’s making such a bold claim. But, he meant what he said, and explained, “I mean, you’re just such a sweetheart for one. You actually sit and listen when I speak, compared to other influencers I’ve met. With a lot of them, you can just see them thinking about how to turn a conversation we’re having into content for their next TikTok or YouTube video.” He paused as he noticed her doe-like eyes looking right at him, taking in every word, before continuing, “You can see it in their eyes: just ideas and thoughts flooding their brains, blurring their vision. But with you, when I look at your eyes, they’re so big and bright and clear. It’s like you’re listening not only with your ears, but with your eyes, too. They’re so… so beautiful.”

Des’s heart stopped. Literally stopped. Beautiful?...

BEAUTIFUL?

She quickly mentally slapped herself to get back to reality after that word stopped her in her tracks. “Oh, um, thank you, Matt.” She smiled anxiously, and she noticed Matt glance down at her lips.

Matt’s legs spread a bit more as he could feel something coming on (more like something turning on…). He watched as Des bit her lip and shifted herself on her side of the couch. She was having the same reaction as him.

“Des, I’m serious,” he added onto his previous statements. “You’re beautiful. Not just looks-wise. Your personality… I just-” he bit his lip, his brain stopping him from continuing.

It was like his brain and his heart were fighting for dominance. Would it be logical for him to express his deeper feelings to her now? Or does he say “fuck logic– I’m just gonna tell her I love her”?

But there was a third opponent in this internal battle– and it wasn’t even internal. Matt kept his legs spread, trying his best to make his dick comfortable. He wasn’t getting a boner on purpose (he swears!), but Destiny was just too gorgeous. Her aura and her presence around him just made him get flustered, and ultimately, sexually frustrated.

He was just a man. Insert shrug here.

Matt patted the spot on the couch next to him and gestured over at Des for her to come beside him, and Des obliged, scooting up next to him until their thighs met.

At this point, they were looking into each other’s eyes, as if some force made them physically bound to stare at each other. Matt continued his confession telling Des, “I just wanna let you know, I really like you. I know we said we would be more than creator friends– which we are!” He paused to think about his next words. He absolutely did not want to fuck up this moment because of his anxious, misspeaking tongue. He sighed to relieve himself a bit and spoke again, “I know we’re friends and we’ve only been friends for some months now, and we’ve only hung out in person for a week and a day in total, but I feel something with you. It’s not just platonic.” He stopped himself from saying anything more for the moment because he really wanted to study her reaction. He knew that actions spoke louder than words, and that was very true in his and Des’s circumstances since they were both not the most outspoken people. The best way for him to really gauge Des’s thoughts was just by watching her.

He could see Des’s eyes wide and trance-like. They were staring into his own, but not actually looking at him at the moment. She was listening to him— the same way he told her that she truly listened to him with her eyes. And she was processing everything. Well, he did just admit his wholehearted more than platonic feelings for her, so it would make sense. He continued his admission, adding “I think I’m in love with you. I’m falling for you pretty hard. And it’s confusing since it’s so sudden, but I really wanna… try things out with you.”

Des bit her lip and shifted in her seat. Another nervous snicker, followed by an “Um..” made the somewhat hopeful look on Matt’s face start to dissolve. Did she not like what he said? Was she weirded out by him? Fuck… what if the feelings weren’t mutual? Or worse- what if she didn’t want to be his friend anymore?

“Matt?” Des’s voice interrupted the man’s thoughts. His eyebrows rose as his eyes jumped between her lips and her eyes, in some way to decipher what she was going to say next.

Des herself was also trying to decipher what she would say next. She wanted to immediately jump in Matt’s lap and kiss him. She wanted to just say “yes, yes, yes!” with pure excitement. She wanted to even satisfy him with her body, sealing the deal of any sort of romantic and sexual relationship. She wished she was just that type of spontaneous girl who could just love and accept him– all of him– with open arms.

But, she wasn’t. And she was well aware of it. All of her thoughts and feelings began to flood her brain, her mouth didn’t even know what words to form next. So, her eyes decided to take the reins.

Tears formed at the corner of her eyes, which juxtaposed the smile on her face. Were they tears of joy? She wished they were simply that: tears of joy. But, they weren’t. They were a mix of different feelings: a culmination of anxiety, fear, embarrassment, and joy that overwhelmed her. And her body just decided to release them all in the form of crying.

Matt saw her begin to sob, watched as her chest heaved in excess, how the tears just ran down her face without any force or strain, how little whimpers escaped her throat, and it absolutely devastated him. Des wasn’t just crying, she was having a nervous breakdown, a panic attack, a reaction his body was familiar with. He instantly coiled his arms around her, rubbing on her back to bring her back to some sort of tranquility. He let go of her after a few seconds, not wanting to make her feel claustrophobic, and placed his forehead against hers. It was like his body didn’t want to fully let go of her– it wanted to stay close and help her feel better. So, he began to start breathing, 4 seconds of an inhale, 4 seconds to hold his breath, 4 seconds of an exhale, and 4 seconds to hold once again, repeating the process intentionally to let Des follow at some point.

Des picked up on his breathing technique as her arms around him felt his respiration through his back. She began to follow his process, and after some time, it calmed her down. Matt and Destiny’s eyes met again as she looked up at him, and that’s when she wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace. It was her way of showing gratitude without a “thank you”, for words were not needed in that moment. All they needed was serenity. All they needed was each other; they were each other’s serenity.

As the moment continued and their comfort levels increased, Matt noticed Des getting closer to him, like she was trying to get on top of him. He helped her with this motion, getting her on top of his lap, and held her. His body cradled hers, not wanting to let go. If he could hold her like this forever, he would. Her aura, what he imagined was a light, fairy pink, blended with his sky blue to create the most beautiful shade of lavender. It looked like the way the sky would have a purple hue whenever the sun went down. A sunset— that’s what they were. She was the sun; shining more brightly than any other star in the universe. His world seemed to revolve around her. He was the Moon— one would only notice him if they looked up at the sky, and even then they probably wouldn’t see him at his full potential. Those mere, almost fleeting moments where the Sun and Moon would meet in the sky— their first meeting at the café in New York, the phone calls and texts they shared, and this whole full week of them being together in-person— created these beautiful colors of red, orange, and purple. And that’s what this blooming relationship between Matt and Des was: the purple hue of the sunset, where the Sun and Moon would enjoy each other’s company before they bid adieu to one another. The Sun’s light would still bask on him in the night, and on some days one could point out the glow that the Sun left on him even on their busiest days.

Des clung to Matt like a koala, with her legs wrapped around his waist, and her arms around his neck. The two enjoyed each other’s warmth for a few more moments, truly engraving this moment in their bodies and minds. Des took it upon herself to make the next big move, to hammer a nail in their relationship.

Her lips pressed against his suddenly. Whether it was out of passion, comfort, or anything else, she didn’t quite know. But something about Matt helping her out of that state of vulnerability allowed her to break open her seal and release the spontaneity that she didn’t even know she had within herself.

Matt didn’t hesitate to reciprocate, following the movements of her lips with his own. She tasted the way he expected her to taste– like the mocha-flavored lip gloss she applied onto her lips after every meal they shared. It was divine and matched with her sweet, decadent composure. He knew at that moment that he wanted more of her, right here, right now.

Matt released his mouth from hers before any further actions– before a tongue slipped in, before a nip at a lip, before a whimper or moan could be emitted. He needed some sort of rite of passage, so he gazed into her eyes to ask his next question. Or rather, suggest something to her. “Des, I wanna do more with you… I wanna make you feel good.”

Destiny smiled softly at his disclosure, and nodded her head slowly. “O-Okay,” she stuttered. She knew what he meant, of course. He wanted to shift this to a more passionate atmosphere. She wanted it too, she couldn’t lie, and her desire rose as Matt leaned in to kiss her forehead.

The man’s arms massaged her shoulders a bit before starting to slowly inch down the sides of her body. His hands stopped above her hips, and he looked into her eyes again for a subtle consent to touch her there. Des nodded and smiled before looking down to figure out what he would do next.

His hands finally placed themselves on her pelvis and began to massage her. He wanted her to feel comfortable with this new boundary being crossed, and by the way she started to lean into his body and place her head in the crook of his neck, he could tell that she was.

That’s when he began to guide her hips to rock back and forth on top of him. The instant relief flowed through his body, causing Matt to sigh. He could hear a small whimper come from Destiny’s mouth as she, too, began to feel him against her.

He continued to guide her, keeping the pace slow, yet pressed her into his lap more to increase the friction. Matt swore he could feel Des’s mound through her pants, which motivated him to please her. Grunts and moans were all Matt could let out at the moment; the dirty talk would have to come later once he was out of his trance.

Des’s head was fully in between Matt’s neck and shoulder. She kept her arms around his neck to stabilize her upper body, while her lower half was being fully controlled by him. She began to spill moans from her mouth as he pressed her into him more, and the best part was that she didn’t feel the need to conceal them. She loved this feeling, not only because he was pleasing himself and her, but because he felt comfortable enough in the relationship to want to try something like this. They were on the same page, and this was just the cherry on top.

Matt’s grip onto Des’s hips suddenly loosened, and the grinding stopped. He was getting close, but he didn’t want to just use her body like a toy (at least not so early in their sexual relationship). He wanted to really feel her. He wanted her to use him for her own pleasure. “You wanna ride me, pretty girl?”

Gulp. Des removed her head from the crook of his neck and looked at him. She swallowed a lump in her throat before nodding her head, trying to fix herself onto Matt’s lap in a way she thought would help her perform to the best of her abilities. The thing is, her abilities… weren’t quite able. It’s not like she hadn’t ridden something before– if the pillow adjacent to hers on her bed counted as something. But, an actual human man? Not a part of her resumé. She finally sat herself down, but hesitated with commencing her next moves.

“Have you ever done this before?” Matt asked curiously, although by the lack of movement she gave from her end and the awkward position she sat in on his lap, he could already tell the answer.

Confirming his suspicions, Des shook her head and lowered it. Was she ashamed?

Matt placed his fingers on her jaw and brought her head back up to face him, making sure her eyes were aligned with his. His lips curved to form a smile, one that was hopefully reassuring for her. “It’s alright, Des. It’s normal. It’s okay. If you ever wanna stop, just pinch me or bite me or just say no. I’ll be fine,” he paused to kiss her forehead, “We will be fine. Okay, pretty girl?”

A blush appeared on Des’s cheeks, and she nodded, giving him a kiss back onto his cheek. Matt then helped to adjust the girl on his lap, making sure both him and her were comfortable with their positions. He grasped her hips and then her ass, but made sure to keep eye contact with her, studying the microexpressions on her face in case she ever gave a sign of discomfort. Then, Des began to rock her hips back and forth, mimicking Matt’s earlier guidance. The pleasure between her legs came back again as she felt him through his pants, rubbing against her sweet spot.

Matt bit his lip and threw his head back as the pleasure he felt shot up his spine. His Destiny, his gorgeous girl, was on his lap, riding him through his pants.

He groaned as Destiny continued her movements, the urge of throwing his head back again quickly diminishing as he began to plant kisses against her ear and the back of it. He could hear her little sweet whimpers of ecstasy in his own ear, and it drove him to lift his own hips up to collide with her rotating hips. His groin met with hers with such force that the vibrations of impact flowed through the two of their bodies, causing their soft pants and whimpers to grow into louder moans. If dry-humping caused them to have these sorts of reactions, one could only imagine what penetration would make them feel like.

Matt knew that the sounds of friction against their clothing mixed with their moans wasn’t enough to complete the symphony. He needed to add one more piece. So, his lips began to twitch as his brain transferred sweet-nothings to whisper to the girl on his lap. “There you go, baby… That feels good?” He murmured, the softness of his voice contrasting with some undertone of a rasp that sent shockwaves through Des’s ear all the way to her pussy. The pulse at her clit quickened and the wet spot in her panties quickly flooded the entire area. She nodded and threw her head back, making Matt lean over and grab her to keep her from falling backward. This new position created a delicious angle for Matt to begin thrusting his hips with more intention, almost to the point where he looked like he was actually fucking her. “I know, baby, you’re feeling good. Good girl…”, he stated while he stared into her eyes, furrowing his eyebrows as his own stomach started to churn with pleasure.

Des’s moans started to become more sporadic the closer she got to her orgasm. Matt took the opportunity to reach one of his hands down to her mound and begin rubbing at it, his finger doing its best to find where he believed her clit to be. He felt something, similar to the feeling of the tip of a nose, and knew that he hit the jackpot, so he began to rub at that spot the best he could through her pants.

The feeling of the moment finally caught up to Des and she felt herself begin to unravel. Her body began to shake as she orgasmed, almost making her fall out of Matt’s grasp.

Matt pulled her body close, wrapping his arms around her waist with a grip tight enough to contain her trembling, but soft enough to give her some sort of comfort. He softly cooed at her, whispering small shushes and giving her small pecks of his lips by the temple of her head. “It’s okay, honey,” he whispered into her ear. “You’re okay. I’m right here. It’s just me, okay?”

Des brought her head between his neck and his shoulder as her body shook with the intensity of her orgasm. It was embarrassing for her. She knew it shouldn’t have been. Matt probably wouldn’t care if that’s how her body reacted to pleasure. But what if he did?

Almost as if he had heard her worries through telepathy, he uttered, “No, no, no it’s okay to shake. Shaking’s normal.”

“I’ve never done that before,” Des admitted, causing Matt to cock his head. She clarified, “I’ve never cum before… especially not with someone else.”

Matt kissed her temple and began to rub her back. He didn’t have a problem with her admission at all. “You feel good though, right?” She nodded, and he continued. “That’s all that matters,” he stated with a sincere and heartwarming smile.

Her warm chestnut eyes looked into his icy blues, the contrast between them being highlighted by the bright sparks of ecstasy that they now both shared post-orgasm. Des was normally intimidated by eye contact, but with Matt she felt… comfortable. Safe. Trust.

And that trust is what gave her the confidence to make this request.

“Matt… if you’re still up for it,” she paused to swallow the lump of saliva that nearly stopped her from getting her words out then continued, “Can I suck you off?”

Matt was indeed up for it. He didn’t have an orgasm from their grinding session, which he was initially thankful for because he didn’t ruin his pants. But with Des’s request, he was now double-thankful for not cumming. He could now enjoy a blowjob from his favorite person without the fear of him (or his dick) being overstimulated or overwhelmed.

“It’s okay, you can do whatever you want. Whatever feels comfortable. I wouldn’t ever force you to do anything,” He replied. In his own mind he added, I could force my dick down your throat… with consent though-

His thoughts were stopped as he watched Des get on her knees between his legs, looking up at him with those doe-eyes. Those same fucking doe-eyes that got him hard in the first place were now looking up at him, yearning for his dick.

“Fuck,” He mumbled, and he pulled his pants down to help her get started. Her soft, warm hands pulled down his boxers, causing his erection to spring out in its precum-coated, red-tipped glory. It was desperate for some relief, something more than just a couple rubs through fabric— it needed a warm and wet cavern to dump its release inside of.

The way her eyes looked at his dick could have cum right then. But he held his composure, and pet her head as he watched one of her hands wrap around his shaft. Matt chuckled as he noticed her trying to jerk him off. “You have to lube it up; I don’t have any foreskin, sweetheart,” he said with a laugh.

Des laughed as well as she realized her mistake. “Oh, right,” she told him. Noticing the pre-cum began to slide from his tip, she used some to wipe onto him, and Matt winced at the contact. He bit his lip as he watched her stroke his cock, and when her eyes met his, he, again, did his best not to cum all over her face.

Des finally knew it was time to do what she yearned for. So, she bent her head down and released some saliva onto his tip, then used her hand to coat it all around his dick. When she was ready, she wrapped her lips around him, and began to suck.

“Ah, shit..,” Matt groaned. He leaned his head into the back of the couch, truly living in this moment– the moment that his girl Destiny was finally making direct contact with his dick. It was purely heaven.

Des brought her head up and down his length, doing her best to get as much surface area as she could. When she got comfortable and noticed Matt’s face of bliss, she brought herself as far down his dick as she could and began to suck from there.

Matt’s hand grabbed the back of her head, however he didn’t tug on her hair; he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable or in any sort of pain. He wanted his girl to truly enjoy herself— He knew he was. “Your lips… oh, shit,” was all that he could even conjure out of his own lips.

Des chuckled, causing vibrations to move through his cock all the way up his spine, making his brain receive all the pleasure from those feelings. The girl continued to do her best to suck him deeply, not quite deepthroating, but still getting deep enough to feel him at the back of her throat. It was surprisingly pleasurable for her, and the proof was in her panties as her clit throbbed the way it did when she rode him.

“Fuck, you feel so good, Destiny,” he moaned out, jutting his hips. He tried his best not to overpower her— he really did.

But, she just felt too damn good.

“Des, I want to go deeper, are you okay with that, sweetheart?”

He heard (and felt) an “Uh-huh” come from her mouth, and he immediately took action.

His hips bucked in her mouth with haste, the tip hitting the back of her throat which caused her to make the most disgustingly beautiful noises. “Good girl,” he stated through grunts, “good fucking girl. You’re taking me so well, baby.” He stopped speaking to listen to her noises. They were cute gags with little gaps in between each stroke of his cock, both from the impact of his dick’s rhythm inside of her, but also from her trying to keep herself alive with short and quick breaths through her nose. He had heard those sounds in porn before, yes. But with Des? That was something else. She wasn’t just some personal pornstar for him, she was like his doll. And although this was their first time together, he loved to play with her, and he anticipated the many more times he could play with her again, the many more possibilities of getting nastier with her, the many more times be could be romantic and soft with her, the many more times he could just simply be with her.

“Fuck, Destiny, I’m so close,” he moaned out, and his feet planted themselves on the ground as he did his best to restrain himself from cumming too early while still thrusting into her mouth.

Des didn’t respond simply because her throat was occupied with being thrusted into. Her hands held onto his thighs as his thrusts got faster, and she knew he was getting closer to an orgasm.

And finally, with a couple more thrusts and some praises, he finally released, closing his eyes and groaning proudly. But, he noticed that she might not be comfortable with him ejaculating inside of her mouth, so he pulled out to minimize the chances. He looked down at her and noticed that some did end up in her mouth, while the rest landed on her cheeks and nose.

But, Des didn’t care about any of that. She fully accepted it all, and leaned her mouth back onto his dick to suck the residue from his tip. This stunned Matt, but he didn’t question it since she looked too damn good doing it. Des smiled and licked her lips as she finished. “You taste nice,” she complimented him.

Matt laughed and petted her head and brought his hand down to hold her jaw and caress her cheek. “Oh yeah? I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

Des cocked her head to the side as she questioned what he meant mentally. Matt noticed and continued, “For when I taste you!” He grinned as he continued, “I know you’re probably gonna taste better than me.”

Des smiled and blushed. He wanted to taste me? She asked herself.

Yes, he wanted to taste her! And not only taste her– he wanted to touch her, tease her, make her cum around him, choke, gag, bite, kiss, spit, swallow, everything. He wanted to do every single damn thing to her.

But, that would have to be for next time.

[nicoline1998enilocin]

PAIRING || Pornstar!Bucky Barnes x Sexshop Owner!Tony Stark

WORDCOUNT || 2.8K

SUMMARY || Tony and Bucky have been in love with one another for as long as they can remember, but when Tony moved out of the porn industry to open his sex shop, they both felt like they left a piece of their soul with the other person. When Bucky goes to help out Tony during a photoshoot, their feelings are revealed, and they're left wondering why they didn't tell each other sooner.

RATING || Explicit (E)

TAGS || Canon divergence. Pornstar!Bucky Barnes. Former Pornstar!Tony Stark. Sexshop Owner!Tony Stark. Friends with benefits. Friends to lovers. Mutual pining. Idiots in love. Erotic photography. Love confessions.

WARNINGS || Sex as payment (mutually agreed upon). Bucky is described as being tattooed. Use of shibari ropes for photography. Use of butt plugs for photography.

SMUT || Top!Bucky Barnes. Bottom!Tony Stark. Subspace. Praise. Dirty talk. Roleplay. Handcuffs. Implied rimming. Fingers are used as a gag. Referenced oral fixation. Unprotected anal sex (wrap it before you tap it!). Reverse cowgirl position. Cream pie. Multiple orgasms. Aftercare.

A/N || This one-shot is written for the WinterIron Reverse Mini Bang, hosted by @winterironevents. For this project, I collaborated with the amazing @endlesstwanted, and the full artwork to go along with the story can be found on AO3. This story isn't proofread; any and all mistakes are my own. 🤍

EVENTS @anyfandomaubingo || Pornstar!Tony Stark @anyfandomfluffbingo || Pornstar!Bucky Barnes @buckybarnesbingo #B011 || Kink: Roleplaying @fandom-free-bingo Book Night || Shopkeeper AU @fandom-free-bingo Book Night || Riding @fandom-free-bingo Pride || First Queer Kiss + Queer Sex Education

@kinky-things-happen || Gag @lgbtqbingo || "I can't believe I get to call you mine." @marvel-smash-bingo || Sexshop AU @sebastianstanbingo || "I'm gonna tell you, but you're gonna freak out." @winterironevents WIB #R2022 || Kissing under the covers + Free Space + Gift Giving + Friends to lovers + Happy ending

Header: @endlesstwanted || Other graphics are made by @nicoline1998enilocin

Main Masterlist || Bucky Barnes || Tony Stark || WinterIron

Tony's setting up the photoshoot studio that's attached to the sex shop he opened a little over a decade ago because he'll finally be working with his friend and former co-star - none other than the famous pornstar Bucky "The Sergeant" Barnes. While Tony hasn't been in the gay porn industry for a little over a decade, he does sometimes miss it, especially now that he doesn't get to work with Bucky as often as he'd like to. Instead, he has chosen to follow his dream of opening his sex shop, and it has been doing fantastic from the start.

Bucky is coming by for both a photo- and a video shoot because he hosts his website, where he teaches queer sex education, and he has a paid space where people can watch him in his porn videos - most of which are being shot in Tony's studio. Now and again, Tony also participates in them, and today won't be any different: they will be shooting a roleplay video after one of Bucky's long-time subscribers requested them to do a special scene.

Before they will do that, however, Bucky will help Tony out as he has received some new products that will be displayed and sold in his store: different colors and types of shibari ropes, and a few different sizes of butt plugs, as well. While Tony finishes setting up his camera, he suddenly hears a knock on the door of his store, letting him know Bucky has arrived right on time. Tony tries his hardest not to run to the door as he sees Bucky standing on the other side, sunglasses keeping his long hair out of his face and his tattoos and muscles on display in the morning sun.

"Bucky!" Tony says excitedly as he pulls him in for a hug, which Bucky happily reciprocates. At the same time, he takes a whiff of Tony's cologne - it's the perfect mix of musk and spice combined with the signature smell of Tony's favorite coffee. The two men take the time to enjoy each other's closeness before pulling away, and Tony steps aside to let Bucky into the store. They feel slightly deflated when they pull apart, though neither shows it. They've been hopelessly in love for years, but neither dares to tell the other, as they're afraid to ruin their friendship.

"Did you want to start with coffee to discuss what we will do today?" Tony offered as they set foot in the studio, and Bucky nodded before sitting on the edge of the bed they'll be using later—both for the shoot and the video. Bucky and Tony sit side by side in mere minutes, arms brushing slightly as they look through the plan Tony drafted a few days ago.

"And once the photos are taken, it's time for your video," Tony says once they've gone over everything, and Bucky nods in agreement. When they both move to look at one another, their faces are so close that their lips are almost touching. Still, before either can do anything, Tony gets up to put his laptop away to hide the deep blush that covers his cheeks, and Bucky looks at his now empty coffee mug as he tries to hide his fluster as well.

"So, uhm- Ropes!" Tony says in a slightly raised voice, which Bucky can't help but find adorable, but he nods before getting up so they can move on to the photo shoot. Bucky undresses until he's left in his black jockstrap, and Tony can't help but let his eyes glide over the other man's physique. It's clear Bucky spends a lot of time in the gym, as his muscles are defined to perfection underneath his golden brown skin, and for a moment, Tony's mind seems to shortcircuit.

"Everything okay?" Bucky asks as he's looking over at Tony, who's suddenly all too aware that he got caught ogling his crush.

"I- Yes!" he quickly says before grabbing the first of the shibari ropes: a set of red, white, and blue ropes made of cotton that will be used for Tony's 4th of July campaign. While Bucky goes to sit on the bed on his knees, he can't help but chuckle as he sees the colors, and they remind him of his friend, Steve "The Captain" Rogers, one of the most prominent pornstars of the gay porn industry.

"I have a feeling Steve would love those ropes - they might not be his usual way to go, but it'll be a nice present for his birthday. It's very patriotic, after all. Perfect for his birthday," Bucky says, referencing Steve's birthday on Independence Day.

"If you want, I'm more than happy to wrap up a new set for you when you're done, as well as a few other toys we'll be shooting with today," Tony offers, and Bucky looks back to meet Tony's gaze.

"Are you sure? I mean, you don't have to," Bucky says, but Tony shakes his head, so Bucky knows it's okay.

"I'm sure, Bucky. I'm always happy to participate in the act of gift giving," he says, and Bucky nods before smiling back at him and getting into position again. Tony sits on the bed before pulling Bucky's arms behind his back and bending them at the elbow so he can tie them together in an intricate pattern. Once he's done, he sits back to admire his work momentarily, and Bucky's eyes have slipped shut as he enjoyed the feeling of Tony's hands on his body.

"How's this?" Tony asks, and Bucky confirms that he's comfortable. With that, Tony stands behind the camera, ready to focus on Bucky and the ropes. The red, white, and blue are a perfect contrast against the black and grey of his tattoo sleeve, and the way Bucky effortlessly poses for the camera has Tony rapidly chubbing up in his pants.

Once Tony has shot enough photos in multiple positions, it's time to move on to the other ropes. About halfway through, Bucky pulls a hair elastic off his wrist to tie up his hair in a messy bun, revealing the skin fade on the bottom half of his head. This will also give the other photos a different look, and Tony couldn't be happier. They have done this countless times, so their routine has almost become second nature to them.

"Are you ready to move on to the plugs?" Tony asks once they've gone through the results of the shots. There are a few ones Bucky picks out to save so he can use them on his website for his paying viewers. Bucky hums in agreement and shifts a few times before getting comfortable on the bed.

"It's a good thing I prepped already, but I might need some help to remove the one I'm currently wearing and put in the new one," he says with a wink, and Tony flushes before nodding in agreement. Bucky moves on his elbows and knees, giving Tony the perfect view of a deep red plug that sits comfortably between Bucky's hairless cheeks, which makes his cock twitch in his pants as he's getting almost painfully hard.

Despite this, he sits behind Bucky and helps him take the other plug out, paired with a few soft moans from Bucky. They sound like music to Tony's ears as he carefully works the new plug to replace the old one. As Bucky's empty, Tony takes a moment to enjoy Bucky's gape, his hole not closing on his own anymore due to the size of the plug, and it'll only grow once they move through the different-sized plugs.

"Beautiful," Tony whispers once a light blue plug is nestled between Bucky's cheeks. He presses on the base a few times to ensure it's properly inserted. This causes Bucky to push back, an involuntary moan slipping from his lips as he does, and Tony's reveling in the moment. After a few more moments, Tony moves off the bed and behind the camera again, and before they know it, they've also gone through all the plugs.

"Do you mind me keeping this plug for our video shoot?" Bucky asks as he moves in his spot, feeling the 7-inch plug stimulating him from the inside as he does, which makes him moan, and Tony is getting embarrassingly close to cumming without even a single touch. Not only does he have a major crush on Bucky, but he also gets majorly aroused at the slightest sound of movement of the other man.

"N-Not at all!" he says quickly, and Bucky smiles before getting off the bed to go and get his costume ready for their roleplay video. The viewer has requested a video of Bucky being a police officer, and he's going to arrest Tony, and his punishment will be that he's going to get fucked by Bucky, which they're both more than happy to film. They have never been a stranger to roleplay - it used to be their specialty back when Tony was still in the industry - so this will be like a walk in the park for the pair.

About 15 minutes later, both Tony and Bucky are dressed for the part - Bucky is clad in a police uniform that's tailored to perfection, while Tony's wearing his usual clothes of a half-opened button-up shirt and jeans - and they're ready to start. After Bucky's reassuring nod and smile, Tony presses record on his camera, and then it's go-time.

'Where do you think you're going, thief?" Bucky says as he grabs Tony's arms and pushes him against the wall. Tony can already feel himself throbbing in his pants at the way Bucky manhandles Tony around right now.

"I didn't steal anything, I promise!" Tony says, but Bucky laughs mischievously before pressing himself impossibly close against Tony's backside, his hard cock already digging into the plush flesh of Tony's ass.

"It's too bad that I don't believe you, so you're coming with me so I can punish you and teach you a lesson!" he says before grabbing the handcuffs that were hanging on the loops of his pants and closing them around Tony's wrists with a loud click. Tony's breath hitches as the metal closes around his arms, and he groans once Bucky pulls him back before pushing him onto the bed.

As the scene progresses, Tony slips deeper into subspace, making it harder for him to follow Bucky's orders, though he's trying his hardest. The feeling of Bucky's hands on him, the way he's manhandling him, the countless spankings he's received, and all the praise have him floating to his favorite headspace, and even though it takes him a short while to get onto his knees like Bucky asks, he gets there eventually.

"That's it, good boy," Bucky grunts as he leans forward to line up with Tony's loosened hole, having spent the better part of half an hour working him open with his tongue and fingers, coaxing Tony's first orgasm out of him as well. Tony's already looking completely fucked out, and Bucky can't help but revel at the sight. Combined with the way Tony sounds as Bucky slips his cockhead into his lubed entrance, Bucky has to try his hardest not to cum so soon, as they're only halfway through the soon.

"Fuck- 's so tight," Bucky says through gritted teeth as he slowly works himself further into Tony's welcoming hole, and Tony's officially reduced to a babbling, moaning mess. He doesn't know up from down, left from right, or his name. All he knows is Bucky and how good he makes him feel right now. A deep, guttural moan escapes his chest once Bucky presses in completely, and his eyes roll back into his head at the feeling of being stuffed to the brim.

Bucky takes a moment to let both of them get used to the feeling before grabbing Tony by his shoulders and pulling him back so he's settled on Bucky's lap. Tony's hands are still bound behind his back by the handcuffs, and his head is resting on Bucky's shoulder, exposing his hard, leaking cock beautifully to the camera.

"Are you going to be a good boy and ride this cock? Or will I have to do all the work for you?" Bucky asks, but Tony whines as he shakes his head, and he tries to lift himself off Bucky's cock before sinking, but it's not as easy when he's already this far gone. After a few more tries, Tony gives up on riding him, instead opting to grind down on his cock, which has both men moaning in no time. Bucky lets go of Tony's hip to push a few of his fingers into Tony's mouth, effectively using them as a gag, while he's also leaning into Tony's oral fixation.

"Are you gonna cum for me again?" Bucky asks, and Tony moans around Bucky's fingers as he tries to nod, but to no avail. He's barely able to move as his entire body feels like it is made of cooked noodles, and his brain feels like cotton balls replace it. Bucky takes the hint, though, and he lets go of Tony before pushing him forward and pulling his hips back to meet his own.

The combined sounds of skin slapping against skin, moans, and grunts echo throughout the room, and it doesn't take long for both men to finish - Tony's cum spurting all over the sheets while Bucky's cum fills Tony until he's almost dripping with it as he rides out both their orgasms. Once they're both coming down from their highs, Bucky pulls out before falling onto the bed next to Tony and pulling him close to his body for some much-needed post-sex cuddles.

"You did so well for me, Tony," Bucky whispers into Tony's hair as one of his hands glides over his back in a soothing motion, the other holding Tony close to his chest. Tony is holding onto Bucky like a koala bear as he's gently being brought back to earth. There's a comfortable silence in the studio as they're wrapped in each other's arms and enjoying their closeness.

It takes a while, but eventually, Tony comes back down to earth and starts to shiver, so Bucky pulls the covers over both of them so he can warm up a little.

"How're you feeling? Are you ready for some water and chocolate?" Bucky asks once Tony starts to get restless, and the other man nods.

"Can you sit up for me?" Tony nods, and with slow movements, he sits with his back against the headboard, ready for some water and chocolate to rehydrate himself. It has become their usual routine after sex, and it's something they can both find comfort in, even if there's nothing said at that moment.

"What's on your mind?" Tony eventually asks, and Bucky smiles as he looks at the chocolate in his hand, trying to decide whether to tell Tony what's on his mind. After a few moments, he decides to do it, even though the small voice in his head still tells him it's a bad idea.

"I'm gonna tell you, but you're gonna freak out," Bucky says, but Tony just looks at him with a confused look, worry now starting to take over his entire being.

"I- I'm in love with you. I have been for years, and I can't keep it to myself any longer…" Bucky says, and instead of answering with words, Tony cups Bucky's cheek before leaning in to plant a soft kiss on his lips, letting him know he feels the same about Bucky. They melt into the kiss, enjoying the moment for as long as it lasts.

"I'm in love with you, too, Bucky. Ever since I saw the color of your eyes, I've had a crush on you, and when you were my first queer kiss, I knew had I fallen in love with you. I've been thinking about confessing, too, but now I don't have to anymore. I want to spend the rest of my life together with you by my side, if you want to, of course," he says with a smile, and Bucky can't help but smile alongside him.

"Oh my god, of course I do! I can't believe I get to call you mine," Bucky says before pulling Tony into a kiss, their hands wandering all over the other's body. Tony squeezes Bucky's tattooed bicep as he pulls away, and he goes to move back under the covers, Bucky following suit before pulling him into another kiss. While it's not the first time they're kissing under the covers, it's more special now that they've confessed their love.

After their years of crushing and mutual pining, they finally have their happy ending, and they're excited to see what the future has in store for them. But now that they're together, they can overcome everything on their route to their happily ever after.

[bettyshoweduptotheparty]

What is the ‘Thesis’ of Tortured Poets? (+ Fortnight Deep Dive)

After 4months of listening to TTPD I was recently wondering what the 'thesis statement' of this massive album is, if I had to give it one. Is it "Female rage: the musical" as Taylor has named the TTPD set on the Eras tour? Anger is certainly evident in the album a lot, but, no, I wouldn't say that's quite it (that's just the parts she's picked for the tour set). I would say it's more than that, and usually a good clue is the lead single and music video. Anti-Hero (and the mv), the lead single for Midnights, made it pretty clear what Taylor's main message for Midnights was: Taylor Swift™, you're the problem. Lover's lead single was Me! and then YNTCD, which for a lot of people seemed like a dumb choice when Cruel Summer was right there, but we know that for what that album SHOULD have been, it needed to be those two. That was the statement. So what is TTPD's statement? And what is Fortnight as the lead single telling us about it?

Fortnight single and music video

The first line of the first verse immediately connects to where Midnights left off: They were coming to get her to take her away in Hits Different and now she was supposed to get sent away but they forgot to come and get her. So we are still very much circling the same issue as Midnights: The duality of Taylor Swift. And I am now fairly certain that Post Malone is also portraying a different version of Taylor in the music video, just like the two Taylors from Anti Hero. When she wipes her face, the same face tattoos are revealed, they are both writing the music/poetry together and they face each other like a mirror image in the pile of papers that make up Taylor's silhouette.

Though while Taylor and Postie are writing together here (Postie perhaps as the 'male POV') and their creations join together, the two Taylors in the Anti-Hero mv are less unanimous, one creating the music and the other one destroying it. Otherwise I find these two scenes very similar:

The setting has also notably changed: She's not in her house anymore, she is in this government institution, kept chained in a cell and only allowed out when medicated to do her work. And there are other people there too, seemingly with the same fate. (A not so subtle hint at the music industry...) The first verse continues

I was a functioning alcoholic 'til nobody noticed my new aesthetic.

This strongly reminded me of the In Summation poem which comes with the album leaflet, but kind of like an epilogue rather than a prologue. And also the introduction post that Taylor posted with the album release.

Confirming yet again that this album, much like Midnights, is a debrief/a rewinding. And she even tells us for what reason: a warning. Are you afraid? You should be! (Yes I think that could easily have been the lead single too). And what is she reflecting on? A “fleeting and fatalistic moment in time”, a sensational, yet sorrowful one that led her to having to tell her saddest story to be finally free from it. So in this context, I think the line about new aesthetics and alcoholism is a throwback to the summer of 2019 and the failed Lover coming out/masters heist. A lot happened and had things gone differently she’d be an out queer woman now. It must feel like a strange parallel universe to still be closeted at 34 years old. And losing your life’s work and your relationship (at least temporarily) in the process I think qualifies as someone’s saddest story. If you’ve seen any of Taylor’s performances from July/August 2019 dressed in all black, you’ll probably agree that it felt like a woman at rock bottom. When she couldn't get out of bed (loml) but still did it with a broken heart. THAT is the context and thesis of TTPD: This twist of events that led to her still being in the closet five years later, and everything that she reflected on when she thought she'd lost everything. The regret, the anger, the heartbreak, even the resentment towards your family for the path they guided (pushed?) you down when you needed someone to fight your corner. "Blood is thick, but nothing like a payroll" is one fucked up thing to say and I'm still shocked seemingly everybody moved on from that so quickly. Those are sentiments that Taylor, the people pleaser, would never have put out into the world before, but this is a debrief, an exorcism even. She needs to get her ugliest truths out before she can move on.

The Fortnight pre-chorus continues with

All of this to say, I hope you're ok but you're the reason And no one here's to blame, but what about your quiet treason?

Now there's a 'you' coming into the picture, and I know there are varying opinions, and maybe multiple possible interpretations of who the you is. Remember, this is the lead single, the thesis song, so to speak. And in that context, I don't think the You is another person, it's another version of Taylor, perhaps the one from the Anti-Hero mv, or the one she hoped she'd be after 2019 if everything had gone to plan. You (brand Taylor) are the reason I'm feeling unstable and I don't blame you but you betrayed me by leaving me here in the closet (similar sentiment to Peter).

She goes on say how she and the 'you' were together for only a short time (a fortnight), the loss has turned all her days into depressing Mondays and that no "miracle move-on drug" can fix that. It sounds like her bemoaning the what could have been, the you being the public persona that she was hoping to merge her true self with by coming out. And I think, yet again, the music video supports that interpretation with Taylor and Postie being the same person but not looking the same. She could have easily played both parts herself, but she cast a different person, a man no less, to play this other side of her, maybe to highlight that she has to take a man's perspective (James/The Man, etc.) to express her true feelings.

Taylor and the You then go on to sing the line "I love you, it's ruining my life" to each other. So they're both feeling that way. And it is a very key sentiment, because it was also one of the first we ever read from the album during the roll out and it's written on the dress during the TTPD set on the Eras tour. The separate existence is ruining both of them. It then changes to "I touched you for only a fortnight" and these two sentences alternate through to the end of the song where we end on "But it won't start up till I touch (touch, touch) you". So, uniting with this other person/version seems to be the key to Taylor's happiness. And we've seen this before. It's exactly the same outcome as the Anti-Hero mv: As everybody is fighting, Taylor finally manages to make peace with the other versions of her and share a bottle of wine. Just like when Postie steps out of the phone box in the final scene and joins Taylor in the rain to touch her hand.

That's my interpretation anyway. as always, feel free to disagree or share your interpretation in the comments.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

man about town interview | spring/summer 2014

for the tweam! click through for my best attempt at deciphering this (maybe impossible to find?) throwback interview

‘’I don’t think I’m scary at all. It was kind of funny watching myself being scary. Because I’m not scary.’’ Says Evan Peters, the up-and-coming up-for-anything actor best known for his extreme roles on American Horror Story, the prestige television series that treats social taboos as map points. For three seasons, Peters has excelled at playing against his offbeat boyishness by amping up his young Malcolm McDowell intensity, with results that fall somewhere between ‘’teen dream in strangler’s gloves’’ and ‘’terrifying Michael Cera.’’ He most recently appeared in American Horror Story: Coven as Kyle Spencer, the good-natured university student who is decapitated and then reanimated with the body parts of his Kappa Lambda Gamma brothers as a temperamental Rocky Horror who beats his sexually abusive mother to death with a trophy.

Over a bold chai tea with stevia, at a restaurant in Venice, California, Peters is lighthearted and dryly humorous, like a young Michael Shannon, with whom he should costar in a successful disturbing family sitcom. He wears black jeans, a well-worn t-shirt under a plaid flannel, and a necklace with a toy dinosaur pendant. He drives a 2004 Pontiac Vibe that he correctly describes as ‘’vintage’’; says that he just feels like growing his longish blond hair into a ponytail, and has a red thumbs-up permanently inked onto the to pof his right hand, that was traced over a nightclub door stamp. At one point, he raises his forearm to show off a temporary tattoo that he received the night before at the castle park family entertainment center in Sherman oaks. ‘’This is a Belle tattoo. It’s not real,’’ he explains playfully of a small portrait of the beautiful young heroine from the animated Disney film Beauty and the Beast. I tell him it’s very pretty. ‘’Thank you. She’s gorgeous,’’ he responds. I ask if Belle is his favorite Disney princess. ‘’Well, I picked her out. There was also Jasmine, Ariel and Cinderella. My other buddies got those.” ‘’What about Belle appeals to you?’’ ‘’She likes the Beast.’’ Peters says.

This summer, Peters appears as the teenage Mutant speeder Quicksilver in X-Men: Days of Future Past, the sequel to 2011’s X-Men: First Class, which has proven to be an eventful ??? movie. In October 2012, director Matthew Vaughn – who relaunched the franchise with much needed style and a new cast of young, indie + credible actors – left the film to be replaced by original trilogy director Bryan Singer. As such, fans were already touched when Singer announced that he would retell ‘’Days of Future Past,’’ the seminal X-Men time-travel storyline from 1980, an ambitious plan turned wild when he revealed that both franchises would merge into one. Cut to the 2012 San diego Comic-Con whereby unthinkable feats of scheduling – the sprawling casts of the modern-day first series and the 60’s era prequel (that include expensive names like Jennifer Lawrence, Hugh Jackmon, Halle Berry, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellan, Michael Fassbender, and so on). Convened with ??? new additions like Peters to unhinge popular culture. ‘’You think to yourself, ‘’wow, people really, really love this stuff.” And it makes you appreciate it more. It makes you work harder at it.’’ he says about the experience.

Peters’ role in the films is crucial but concise. ‘’It’s a huge, huge opportunity but I always make sure to tell people it’s just one scene. Easy, it's just one scene.’’ Peters says, as if talking down a rearing horse. Quicksilver has already been the subject of film industry chatter regarding lawful usage of the character, who is both the son of Magneto and a colleague of the Avengers, making him fair game for inclusion in both Days of Future Past and the 20n5 Avengers sequel (in which he will be played by Aaron Taylor-Johnson of Kick-Ass). An Empire magazine Preview of Quicksilver’s costume design was greeted with comparison to Kid Vid, a ‘90’s cartoon form of the Burger King ‘’Kid’s Club,’’ and the news that Peters had been saddled with the Halle Berry “rough wig’’ role. But his fan’s enthusiasm for the project—in which desperate X-Men from a dystopias future try to stave off mutant genocide by altering the present day—is undimmed. ‘’I think it’s the best film of the francise yet,’’ proclaims Peters. ‘’It’s pretty dire. It’s a pretty epic situation. But there’s definitely some humor in there. Its’s just badass, man.’’

Quicksilver is a departure for Peters in some ways if not others. Both X-Men and Horror Story are tight productions that take extensive precautions to protect story lines. Peters says that he did not receive the full script for X-Men until arriving at the Montreal location days before shooting. Horror Story pages are often delivered the night before a scene. The short lead time can demand a ??? almost improvisational acting process. ‘’The minute we get the script, plans are cancelled, dinner is cancelled,’’ he says about working on Horror Story. ‘’Some of it you’re like, ‘Oh shit, I have to do that?’ Screaming and crying, realizing that my whole body is pieced together and I’m not myself? I’ll probably have to work on that.’’

Peters owes his career to television. ‘’I was watching a lot of TV and I kind of wanted to be on the TV and in movies. I love movies and TV,’’ he says, and cites inspirations like Joaquin Phoenix, Heath Ledger, Christian Bale, George Clooney, JIM Carrey, Chris Farley, Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump, and the millennial teen comedies Even Stevens starring Shia Labeuof and So Little Time with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. ‘’That sort of stuff. I just really wanted to be a part of it and loved acting and performing.’’ He moved to Los Angeles with is mother when he was 15 years old, and steadily won work in television, on shows including Phil of the Future (2004) and One Tree Hill (2008), and in movies like the independent films Clipping Adam (2004), his first big break, and later Kick Ass (2010). Being cast as Tate Langdon in the first season of American Horror Story in 2011 was his tipping point, playing a Skull Boy-faced high school shooter in a latex catsuit who rapes his girlfriend’s mother to please a ghost. He has since become one of the five main players to appear in all three season of the series, sterling company that includes Jessica Lange, Sarah Paulson, Lily Rabe and Frances Conroy.

Now the world gets to enjoy a lighter side of Peters, like when he appeared on a 2011 episode of the G4 networks Attack of the Show and blithely volunteered that he was working a a rap song called ‘’I’ll Tap That Fucking Ass.’’ He laughs off a request to recite a verse. ‘’I can’t. That never materialized. I tried but it was too much pressure. It was just a concept. I was just trying new ideas,’’ he says, and then volunteers a different musical direction. ‘’It’s called ‘Natch Snatch.’ Like all natural snatch. Big bush. Snatch. Cause it’s nice. You know, ‘girl, you’ve got that natch snatch.’ It’s another nice concept. Probably on the same album.’’ Peters laughs in agreement at the suggestion that he is a kook in the best sense of the word. ‘’I get called a weirdo sometimes,’’ he admits ‘’But it’s like, I don’t feel that weird. I don’t feel that different. I look at everybody else and I’m like, ‘’you’re a fucking weirdo, too. You like all of your shit. I like my shit.’’ Why does one have to be weird and one have to be normal? It doesn’t make any sense to me.’’ Meanwhile, he seems to be successfully negotiating his public and private persona. ‘’I’ll try to be myself as much as I can but you obviously can’t be who you are at home in your skivvies eating donuts. You can’t be that.’’ He explains, before confirming that guy exists, with his tongue sort-of-in-cheek. ‘’You bet he does. Yeah, definitely watching New Girl. Crying.’’ But while Peters seems fairly comfortable in the public eye, fame no longer interests him. The development is not unrelated to his intense, closely-watched relationship with fiancée and two-time costar Emma Roberts (on coven and in the 2013 ?? Adult World) ‘’When I was younger I was like, ‘’That would be awesome!’’ now I don’t particularly love it,’’ he says ‘’Emma gets paparazzi a lot, and because I’m with her we get paparazzi, so it’s kind of a weird thing that I don’t love. But it’s so small in the big picture of all the positives that come with this job that I can’t really complain about it.’’ he may be surprised by the attention he and Roberts receive, but he is hardly self-ptying. ‘’Honestly, it’s not that bad. If you don’t set up a Google alert on yourself and go out searching for it then you’re not going to see it. So I don’t see it.’’ Roberts has already endured the Hollywood learning curve that Peters is now experiencing. ‘’She gives me advice, like cut your hair. She likes my hair to look nice,’’ he says, and laughs. ‘’She’s been around and knows the ropes and how to play the game very well. And she has incredible social skills. She can talk to anyone and everyone loves talking to her. I’m not that good at that stuff so she kind of helps me out with that.’’ I wonder what guidance she offers him. ‘’You’ve just got to be personable and talk to people, even if you don’t want to. Put on a happy face and buck up. Grow a pair of balls. Don’t be a little wuss.’’ Petersa says, and laughs. ‘’I mean, she doesn’t say that, but you know what I mean.’’ 

Next for Peters is Lazarus, opposite Olivia Wilde, Donald Glover and Mark Duplass a 2015 feature from director David Gelb, known for the documentary Giro: Dreams of Sushi. Peters describes the project, about a team of brainiacs working magnanimously to reanimate the dead, as a “contained Sci-Fi horror thriller” as it mostly takes place in one laboratory setting. He plays the party animal scientist. Peters encouraging sidesteps the questions of his involvement in the next season of American Horror Story, to be set in 1950 and the present day, for which Jessica Lange is practicing a German accent. ‘’I don’t know what I’m allowed to say so I’m going to say no comment,’’ he says.

‘’At the end of the day it is acting. You want to go with the biggest, weirdest, boldest shit and see if you can actually do it and go there,’’ Peters concludes, ‘’I’m very curious about everything. I feel like I don’t know that much. I’m trying to learn it all and figure it all out.’’

[nevadear]

AND SCENE!

Breaking news—the love interest role in Claire White's latest blockbuster finally has a star, and it's none other than Stella Castillo, pictured above, the youngest daughter of Hollywood moguls. Brace yourselves for a wild ride as Stella Castillo, usually seen in her parents' flicks, takes on a meatier role in one of next year's most hyped movies.

But hold the popcorn—whispers on the red carpet suggest Stella Castillo's previous filmography is more "meh" than marvellous.

Is this casting coup the pinnacle of Hollywood nepotism, or will Stella Castillo flip the script and prove she's a force to be reckoned with? Love her or hate her, one thing's for sure: this star-studded spectacle is about to kick off, and only time will spill the juiciest deets straight from the set.

So, grab your shades, folks, because this Hollywood rollercoaster is just getting warmed up and PinkCelebTea will report every step of the way—you know how it is!

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NEXT UP: Our insiders spill the tea—Louis Alvarez ain't exactly doing cartwheels about acting alongside what they're dubbing an 'untalented and undeserving' co-star. Trouble behind the scenes already?

⠀actress ( nepo baby! ) -- "show the world what they're missing"

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ the youngest daughter of the castillo family, she made the decision to enter the acting industry in 2019. initially, she starred in her parents' films and, eventually, the tv show 'yellowjackets.' however, her performances faced more criticism than praise, prompting her to take a break from acting. she returned to the scene in mid-2022 with a role in 'the summer i turned pretty,' alongside actors lola tung and christopher briney. gradually, her acting skills began to receive more positive reviews, although some people remained hesitant due to her family connections and the previous projects she acted in. determined to prove herself beyond being "the castillo's daughter," she took on a role in claire white's latest film.

( @andscene-if ) - template by kaori96 on deviantart.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⁰¹ despite being allergic to fur, stella takes pills to manage her allergies, fulfilling a promise she made to her mom to get a siamese cat for her 16th birthday.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⁰² in 'yellowjackets,' she portrayed gwen ramirez, one of the newest members of the girls' varsity soccer team. gwen's character was particularly close to jackie taylor, the captain of the yellowjackets.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⁰³ for her 18th birthday, stella got a small sun tattoo on her left shoulder, a shared experience with one of her closest childhood friends who opted for a moon tattoo on their right shoulder.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⁰⁴ her character in 'the summer i turned pretty' was harvey serrano, a childhood friend of the fisher and conklin families. harvey and conrad fisher, her character's childhood sweetheart, had been dating since they were 12 but eventually broke up two years prior to the events of the story.

[twopoppies]

MY TAGS - part 1

Let me start by saying that I’m not the most consistent tagger, so while some tags are chock full of information, don’t expect them all to be.

Also, while I’ve been in the fandom since 2013, I started this blog in 2016, so there are areas where I don’t have reactions in real time.

And last, there are times here and there where I avoided blogging about certain events (like babygate), so I may not have as much info as others.

Having said all of that… there’s a lot on this blog. Tumblr only allows 100 links per post, so here’s:

Part 2 (TATTOOS, PEOPLE AROUND HARRY AND LOUIS)

Part 3 (BABYGATE, FIGHTING BACK, LARRY TOGETHER, HARRY’S MUSIC / SONG ANALYSIS / MUSIC VIDEOS)

Part 4 (HARRY’S PERFORMANCES, LOVE ON TOUR 2017/2018)

Part 5 (LOVE ON TOUR 2021/2022)

Part 6 (LOVE ON TOUR 2022/2023)

Part 7 (ACTOR HARRY, AWARDS, CHARTS)

Part 8 (LOUIS’ PERFORMANCES / MUSIC /SONG ANALYSIS / MUSIC VIDEOS, CHARTS)

If you’re new here

FOR NEWBIES

They’re not straight

GAY INNUENDO • HE’S GAY PETRA • HARRY AND RAINBOWS • LOUIS IS NOT HOMOPHOBIC • LOUIS AND RAINBOWS • WE KNOW TOO MUCH • HARRY’S GENDER • HARRY’S SEXUALITY • LOUIS’ SEXUALITY • SIGNALING • QUEER CODING • SUE

They’re closeted

CLOSETING • BEARDING • MUSIC INDUSTRY • HARRY’S IMAGE • LOUIS’ IMAGE • HOLLYWOOD HOMOPHOBIA • SIMON VS LOUIS • RECORD CONTRACTS • PR AND MARKETING • PAPARAZZI • HARRY’S CAREER • LOUIS’ CAREER • MEDIA MANIPULATION • SEEDING • GASLIGHTING • ASTROTURFING • LARRY DENIALS •

Larry is real

THEY’RE STILL TOGETHER • TATTOO TIMELINE • LARRY TATTOOS • RBB AND SBB • PARALLELS • LYRIC PARALLELS • STILL THE ONE • I WILL SURVIVE • CODED CLOTHING • LARRY RECEIPTS 2011 / 2012 / 2013 / 2014 / 2015 / 2016 / 2017 / 2018 / 2019 / 2020 2021 / 2022 • LARRY MOMENTS 2011 / 2012 / 2013 / 2014 / 2015 / 2016 / 2017 / 2018 / 2019 / 2020 / 2021 / 2022 • LARRY OUTINGS • REAL ESTATE • WE LIVE TOGETHER DEAL WITH IT • WE KNOW TOO MUCH • HE GOT THE DAGGER • LARRY ON TOUR • 2 WEEK RULE

The Bears

RBB AND SBB • RBB AND SBB MASTERPOST • WHO RUNS THE BEARS?

Bearding

STUNTS • ELOUNOR • ELOUNOPE • DOUIS • H*YLOR • HAROLINE • HAIGE • HENDALL • HESS • HAMILLE • HOLIVIA • HOLIVIA BREAK UP • GRYLES • XANDER • BRAD GOULD • CAROLINE FLACK • PAIGE REIFLER • ELEANOR CALDER • DANIELLE CAMPBELL • TOWNES • YACHTGATE • SWIFTIE • OLIVIA WILDE • HUSSELL

[hwaightme]

Your fan, Mingi (part 2)

(part 1) (your fan ml)

🎤 pairing: mingi x rapper!reader 🎤 genre: slice of life, mix of fluff and angst, music and the industry, slow burn 🎤 summary: a bulletpoint-style wordstream of what it would be like if mingi was stanning you 🎤 wordcount: 3.3k 🎤 warnings/tags: language, reader is a rapper, reader is a tattooed queen, mingi and reader collaboration, album of the year, big concert, toxic fandom (but it is overcome:)), mingi support, reader is a shining star, comfort, celebrity, hongjoong is proud dad, studio energy, write angsty rap, power couple, new future, new home 🎤 a/n: Hi <3 this is part 2 for Your fan, Mingi!! Part 1 can be found here. From the bottom of my heart thank you so much for your support and care, and as always, I greatly appreciate any asks, reblogs and likes!

You trusted Hongjoong. He was one of the only idol artists who you clicked with and remained connected to, and you had no regrets. He never pushed any subject you were not comfortable with, nor did he really mention idol life outside of music, composition, production and lyric writing.

Through him you had gotten to know more about the idol life, and just what it took for such a talented and prominent fourth generation group to do world tours, to do fansign events, to always be there for fans and create fantastic music.

There had been a couple of times previously that Hongjoong had implied that it would be interesting to collaborate with you, but you had brushed it off.

You had no idea whether you, having the standing that you did in the music industry, would benefit or suffer from such a collaboration. For you the thought of potentially having to have official big-scale promotions and delving into the political side of the industry was more than unpleasant.

It was clear that had you signed any contract for officially making a track with Hongjoong, you likely would have had to play by his company's rules, maybe even have had to fit a particular concept.

This time, however, Hongjoong had unknowingly hit you in your weak spot. He mentioned Song Mingi.

When Hongjoong and you had a listening session together, with him and yourself sharing some tracks, both released and in the works, you had fixated on the other rapper's voice and flow.

He had a unique tone, and a way of incorporating off-beats and delays that made you inadvertently shake your head and make the classic 'damn this shit is good' face. The highest level of approval.

You had not hesitated in informing your friend that Mingi was a gem in his team, and that you were grateful to have had the chance to listen to him.

And of course Hongjoong was going to remember that until the end of time and employ that information against you.

The text was simple, but did not leave much room for negotiation. Not that you would have refused anyways.

<MC MINION> hey Mingi loves you and wants to record a cover of your track Dum Spiro Spero. You cool with that + got instrumental?

You had to admit, you had been hopeful that a day would come when you could meet Mingi, especially after you had spotted him in the audience at your recent concert.

You were too cool to let your glee show, instead launching into one of your more challenging openers. Did you want to impress him? Yes. Did you want to spell out that you liked him? No.

It was lucky that your fans did not recognise him, or were polite and respectful enough to pay no mind, nor alert anyone on social media. So, in peace you could enjoy giving him the occasional glance throughout the show and let your inner fangirl perform a victory dance as you noticed he was completely enchanted.

So without any further thought, you sit send on an offer for them to come over to your studio and to make something completely new together. Bureaucratic shit could wait for a second, you had some self-wingwoman-ing to do.

They had arrived at record speed, much to your delight. And to say that your heart skipped a beat when you locked eyes with Mingi would be an understatement. You were envious of the unbelievable boom-bap that it had produced, barely being able to contain yourself.

Mingi was the same. Shining like a thousand suns, he stretched his hand out to you and once you did the same, could not help but admire the tattoos that were peeking out from under the sleeve of your oversized hoodie.

In a spur of emotion he blurted out a series of compliments, his hand still holding onto yours, him melting as you chuckled and sent warm words right back.

While deciding what the track was going to be, Hongjoong had suddenly decided to volunteer himself into an exclusively producer role, saying something along the lines of "the track will just sound better that way trust me"... which could be taken two ways.

Mingi swooned a little at the thought that Hongjoong was literally waving a green flag for him to make a RAP DUET with you.

While you, interpreting it as a subtle jab at your productions skills, clasped your hands together, uttering a low, "1v1 me dude I dare you"

Never before did Mingi see Hongjoong so unsettled, his hands flittering over your equipment as he laughed nervously. But in a matter of seconds a sweet smile returned to your face as you leaned back in the chair and said "you know that we are both control freaks right? Wait- Mingi? You a control freak or just freaky?"

His face slowly started turning beet red as he looked to his captain for reassurance. It did not help that you addressed him informally, catching him off-guard completely. But he did not mind. In fact, he liked it. A lot.

And with that buzz motivating you, you Hongjoong and Mingi began to write lines, lay down beats, nearly crash Ableton a couple of times, hold a mini-concert on some Launchpads, and made sure to include a catchy hook, credit to Hongthoven being in the house.

It was totally different seeing you work. Just as you were sweet and mellow when chatting away to him or Hongjoong, you were the world's energy personified both in the booth and while guiding Hongjoong if there was something he could not find, since the set up was slightly different.

Mingi could not take his eyes off you as you were recording your parts. The way in which you were fully immersed in the story spoke volumes about your professionalism, and how well you added vocals to his parts made his heart flutter. He could not help but imagine how this could sound live.

He wanted to take this out of the booth and into the world. To be that rap duo that everyone wanted to hear. So once it was his turn, he gave it all.

You were in awe. He was even better than before, and matched you impressively well. He had even used some of your beloved techniques, and took a rhythmic pattern from your part to emphasise its importance. You could not help but lean over to Hongjoong, who was looking awfully similar to a Cheshire cat, and whisper:

"I need an album with this guy."

"He's all yours. Trust me, he'll break KQ down if you tell him."

Now it was your turn to blush. Who were you? A school girl? Maybe. Maybe on the inside there was a little school girl. You didn't mind though. Not one bit. You liked it. And though you were still one to want to keep that tough girl persona, you admitted you had a soft spot for the gentle giant.

After the first day of working on the track had gone incredibly well, Hongjoong and Mingi had taken straight to management to convince them that this was going to be a hit. Later that same night, on an hour-long zoom call with you, your agent, Hongjoong, Mingi and their management present, you had all agreed on terms and were ready to make the track official for future release.

You knew that this was likely going to involve a lot more publicity, and was going to be something new, but Mingi had highlighted, when the topic of promotions came up, that he did not want to follow a hardcore route, instead opting more for the few but highly sought after appearances. Hongjoong simply agreed.

It was obvious to you that Mingi was doing this out of consideration for you, and it did make you think that maybe he saw you as weak, but that evaporated once the call was done and he messaged you privately.

<MC Mango> Hey Y/N! Just wanted to say that I am so excited to be able to actually make this track with you! Feels like a dream haha

<you> Hi Mingi, likewise :) super cool stuff, you coming to the studio @ 10am tomorrow right?

<MC Mango> You know it! Also, what's your favourite food?

Well that was random, but you decided to answer anyways

<you> Nachos are life.

<MC Mango> RESPECT! Okay thank you :D

<you> You mysterious man... O_O

<MC Mango> See you tomorrow Y/N :) <3

<you> haha see you :) <3

His addition of the heart made your heart do flip flops. You really were getting too soft. So you put on your noise cancelling headphones, and in your best nature, turned up an aggressive hiphop and trap playlist.

And yet, thoughts of him did not want to leave, so instead, you returned to tweaking what you had recorded today, listening to his wonderful voice many times over.

After a few more days of the two ATEEZ members basically living in your studio (and Mingi bringing nachos for you because of that one text you sent), you were officially finished with the preparation of the track, having mastered it to the highest quality attainable, and after that, it was a big time rush to tie up all the loose ends for the set release.

The way that this one song scaled in terms of production was unprecedented, and compared to your lonely nights in the studio or at most, five people working on an album, you could not help but feel like you did not deserve this.

You felt like everything was being taken out of your control, and there were moments when you, quite literally, had no idea what was happening, neither with your song nor with what the bureaucrats had lined up for you. It was all simply too much. Too loud, too much like a hive.

So walked right into your studio, and got to writing.

The words came naturally to you, and it was your fingers that were struggling to keep up as you let loose on the pages in front of you. The message was simple enough, but it resonated. The feeling of realising that you will never really quite know a person, or the wide network of people who are connected to you.

Just as you were finishing up, you noticed that the second verse seemed to have a slightly different voice. One that was too similar to a certain tall rapper. Oh you were in deep.

You were alerted by a soft knock on the door, and looked up to see none other than Mingi, poking his head in, evidently worried. You could not be happier to see him.

"Hey, you weren't at KQ so I figured I could find you here. What's up? Can I come in?"

He asked, ever so gentle. As he ambled across the room upon shutting the door behind him, you noticed he had a plastic bag in his hands. After seeing your line of vision stop at the object, he raised it a little, explaining:

"I brought some fuel. There were these cool new fusion kimbap rolls launched, and I wanted to try them with you."

With you. The words repeated in your head. You thanked him, and patted the seat beside you. There was no need for you to explain why you were taking some time out, Mingi understood in a heartbeat.

The only thing that mattered to him was that you were still here, smiling, and more than happy to see him. Be with him.

You slid over the lyrics you had written for a still untitled rough idea, asking him for his opinion. Brows furrowed, he leaned over, closer to you.

"Oh this flows... nice... oh I really like that line. Wait why did you write 'Fix On'?"

"Guess."

"Wait, no way. Is this us?"

"Well... it could be?" you left the question hanging in the air. Silence fell upon the room as he looked deep into your eyes.

"This... is going to be THE BEST ALBUM EVER LET'S DO THIS!" he almost deafened you with his scream for joy as he jumped up from the chair, taking you with him and wrapping you up in a tight hug.

At first you were frozen, unsure of what in the world you were supposed to be doing, but as seconds passed and he was not planning on letting go, you chuckled and returned the embrace, rocking just a little.

Another spark passed between you as both of you felt that this was definitely going to be much more than just an album.

As days turned into weeks, and one song turned into a mini album, your interactions with Mingi also changed. Instead of just staying in the studio to work, you now spent hours on end in the space just staying together to chat. Initially sat opposite one another, but recently, intertwined in a cuddle on the couch, both of you looking at either your phone or his.

When Hongjoong was in the studio too, he was constantly eyeing both of you with a cheeky smirk.

It had already been five times that the rest of the members, led by Yunho, crashed the studio 'to see how things were going' and to 'see Mingi because they have not seen him in so long'. Soon enough that had also changed to 'you know what just take him forever he doesn't stop talking about you anyways'.

Though you had not made it official yet, everything was progressing in that direction. Both him and you were evolving thanks to your collaboration, and had only one wish: for this to never end.

Mingi had helped you familiarise yourself with official photoshoots, and you had given him freestyling tricks for 'the future'.

Once the mini album dropped, it seemed that everything you knew combusted.

Initially, your fans, those fans who you held so dear and worked tirelessly for, were pouring in with nothing but disappointment and hatred. You were appalled. It was also obvious that they had not listened to any of the tracks, and they were just displeased that now you were 'searching for the mainstream, sucking up to popular culture and losing yourself'.

It would be a lie to say you did not spend nights after the release in tears, instead of celebrating. Hiding in your beloved studio, you could not stop yourself from composing sad track after sad track, trying to find an outlet for your anguish. You knew you should not have done this. You knew you should not have loved.

You did not answer Mingi's calls, nor his messages, but when he bust through the door, misty-eyed and crying out your name, you collapsed into his arms as he comforted you, promising you that he would always be there. No matter how hard things seemed.

Once you had calmed down, he took out his phone and started showing you some screenshots. Then went on Twitter, and then even searched up articles related to your collaboration. He wanted to show you that there was a different side to the story.

And oh how bright it was.

ATINY were overwhelmingly positive about this surprise release, praising both Mingi's and your talents, and diving into searching for more of your content.

You read the critics raving about each track, especially the first one, which you had made into the title track.

The public was calling for this to be in concert. On a show. Anywhere where they could feel this live. You took Mingi's hand and slipped your fingers through his, and he responded by bringing you closer, kissing your cheek.

"And finally, take a look," and he showed you one more page. Your social media page. With the follower count unlike anything you have ever seen before, even though you had experienced a crash just a few days ago. And a flood of comments of appreciation and gratitude. In that moment, you returned to Mingi, and pulled him into a hope-filled kiss.

It was interesting doing promotions as a new couple. Though you had not revealed the relationship, multiple public figures had commented on your 'unique chemistry' and 'what seemed to be musical telepathy'.

On a couple of shows onto which you had agreed to go, (given the condition that Mingi would be there too) you shined. Initially you were irked by their requests that you covered up your tattoos, but as it turned out, long-sleeved, form fitting turtlenecks and modern cyber and industrial wear quickly became your signature.

Your agent was ecstatic at your rise in popularity, and was now almost always on new phone calls, even negotiating with some brands who wished to do advertising with you.

And Mingi, well, he was falling in love with you more and more, as you shined brighter and brighter. During a small break in your promotions to accommodate ATEEZ's pre-filming, he continuously messaged you and even invited you onto the film set, where you had the chance to mingle more with the staff.

You had gotten to know a lot of them closely, even recognising some from the time of initial preparations for your album with Mingi, and took no time to present them with small thank you gifts, and helping them out when you could.

Their attitude towards you also softened, with one of the younger interns admitting that initially, she had perceived you as a much scarier and stricter figure, and after hearing some rumours. To this, you responded with a light-hearted laugh, and thanked her for the honestly.

How glad you were that Mingi had snuck out to see you that day, and that serendipity had brought you a friend in the form of Hongjoong.

Fast-forward a couple of months, and you were having the largest-scale concert of your career. Before, it used to be within the hundreds at most, the highest profile one having approached one thousand.

But now, there were a few thousand voices, all chanting your name. The venue was sold out in record time, and the first batch of merch that you had designed, with Mingi cheering you on in the background, was nearly sold out. The concert merch too, had been swept off the stalls.

It was exhilarating. You were alive. Before, it was you breathing life into the audience, sharing your energy with them, connecting to them and lighting up the room. But now, the exchange was mutual, and in some moments, you were flabbergasted at the pulsating force of the crowd. They were there for you. They were cheering for you. They knew your words by heart and were overjoyed to be in this time and space with you.

You were on the extended platform connected to the main stage that went further into the audience. A peninsula, surrounded by a sea of shimmering glow and the wonderful people attending. It was time for you to perform the title track of your and Mingi's album. You were seated on one of the two stools that were right in the centre of the 'peninsula'. One single spotlight on you.

The crowd roared, signaling Mingi's approach in the darkness. You felt his back press against yours, his heartbeat steady, giving you rhythm, giving you reassurance. While your microphones were still off, but he moved his away just in case, you heard him whisper to you quick words of adoration, and a cheerful 'let's do this'.

In this wide world, you had always thought that keeping your circle small, your fanbase small, and your music inaccessible was the only way to preserve identity. But you had grown. You had now understood that you had been selfish, denying those who wanted to dream the opportunity to do so.

Now on the stage, together with the love of your life and with the universe surrounding you, you were truly alive, and truly an artist.

[lampmanliveblogs]

These subtitles appearing out of nowhere only to fade back into the void always manages to startle me.

Let’s see, maduros are… plantains. More specifically, sweet fried plantains.

…what’s a plantain?

Okay, so plantains are bananas, but they’re bananas you cook rather than eat raw. They are a major food staple in parts of Africa, the Caribbean islands, Central America, and northern South America. And that’s about as far into the wikipedia article I could be bothered to read, but I get the gist of it.

Anyways, look, Stringbean’s got her own little nest in the corner. That’s adorable.

ALL OF THEM!?!???

So Luz is off to the University of Wild Magic and she has chosen to study everything, because Luz is nothing if not a true renaissance man. Among her majors are Ancient Glyphs and Combos. A mostly theoretical field nowadays, but I suppose there could be value in it to understand the fundamentals of magic. Though now that Philip is gone, wouldn’t that make Luz the Boiling Isles foremost expert on glyphs? I dunno, maybe some scholars studied the Philip’s notes from the echo mouse Musse.

Next on the list is Boiling Isles History. Personally, if you wanna learn about history but don’t have the time/money/energy to go to university, I’d recommend you pick up the Boiling Isles History box set available at the Bonesborough Supernatural History Museum. It’s written by Lilith Clawthorne and some of her colleagues and when I say it’s comprehensive, I mean it. When I say it’s a box set, I mean an actual box, with like… I think there were at least fifteen books? And those are thick volumes. So bring a friend to help you carry it, cause you’ll need it.That’s where I get a lot of my knowledge on the Demon Realm from. Some supplementary material include Flora D’Splora’s two most recent books, Hidden History: The Things the Emperor Did Not Want You to Know, and Hidden History volume II: The Things You Don’t Want to Know About Your Past.

As for Boiling Biology, Luz actually has a bit of a head start, because King used to teach her about demons back in season one. And he’s like a god in training, so aside from overestimating the size of the Snaggleback, he’s gotta be right.

…I’ve no idea what ”theumaturgy” means. Google brings up”thaumaturgy” which is ”the purported capability of a magician to work magic or other paranormal events or a saint to perform miracles.” If that’s what that’s supposed to mean, then again, Luz has got a pretty decent head start, seeing as she literally is a saint (or at least was for a few minutes while she had The Titan’s powers).

Abomination Engineering seems fairly straightforward, that’s what Alador does. Who knows, with Blight Industries going belly-up, maybe he took up teaching? I could see him pulling-off a absent minded professor archetype.

Curses 101 should be interesting, and that reminds me: do we ever see another example of a curse in the series aside from the Owlbeast curse? I can’t recall. But then again, the impression I got was always that the Owlbeast curse was unusual, so it’s entirely possible that curses are fairly common, but also fairly easy to deal with most of the time so long as you can get a healer to cure it.

Moving on, we’ve got Luz’ new look to look at. She’s got that snazzy jacket with a snake pattern, pants with what looks like symbols for different magical subjects (I spot bard magic, potion magic, and what might be beast keeping?). She’s got that necklace which… feels familiar, hold on… oh yeah, that’s Amity’s necklace.

Also, that’s definitely a tattoo on Luz’ arm, but I can’t make out what it is just yet. Let’s see… according to what I was able to dig up real quickly, a child under the age of 18 can get a tattoo in Connecticut with parental permission. So Luz is not necessarily 18 here. Because there’s also the possibility she got it in the Demon Realm which might have different (or no) laws.

THERE SHE IS MY SNAKE DAUGHTER!!! OH look at her she’s all grown up! She’s got long hair now and her ears are out, she’s got an earring and a nose ring. And I’m gonna go ahead and say that’s Masha’s influence. You can’t prove me wrong. That shirt is really cool too.

More importantly, she’s whispering to Owlbert, telling him to go get the others. A big surprise party for Luz, I presume.

Looking at the background, we find a photo of playing baseball, getting hugged by a teammate. I love seeing my precious daughter thriving.

There’s also a picture of Stringbean having eaten through an apple, which is kinda funny to me, because Stringbean is a serpent, and the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden is often depicted as an apple. I had a whole bit about that story in my post on snake symbolism and how it related to Luz.

(we’re just gonna pretend that owlbert’s wing is not there)

Ooh, they really fixed this place up something nice! It’s got a nice stone path, a bird bath, flowers, a rocking chair, a bunch of birds, bird houses, a light strand, one singular lit candle, and at least four garden gnomes.

It also has that Steven Universe-looking door. Seriously, I’m half expecting Steven and the Crystal Gems to come walking out of it. And really, Steven visiting Gravesfield? That would never happen! Certainly not in any fanfics I’ve written.

But nah, that’s gotta be the new portal door. It looks snazzy.

And they bought this place too. Makes me wonder where Camila got the funds for that… it’s almost like [DATA EXPUNGED; contained spoilers for yesterday’s lie, today’s truth, tomorrows promise]

Through the portal, the voice of The Collector greets us and credits begin to appear.

Undeterred by the credits in the sky, Willow is flying around, looks like she just came from a match or training for flyer derby. She’s got the Emerald Entrails logo, so I guess the team took off. Good for her. Oh, and she’s got new glasses, and a little plant headband thing.

[xsulsulnooboo]

New sims townies ideas

1. Amara Vasquez

• Aesthetic: Bohemian

• Traits: Loves Outdoors, Creative, Cheerful

• Aspiration: Freelance Botanist (Gardener)

• Origin: Mexico

• Appearance: Wears flowy, earth-toned clothes, lots of handmade jewelry, and has long, wavy black hair. She has a warm, glowing complexion and often walks barefoot.

• Backstory: Amara was born in a small town in Mexico, surrounded by nature and wildflowers.

She spent her childhood outdoors, fascinated by plants and their healing properties. Now, she lives in a cozy home with a wild garden in the city, making her own herbal remedies. Amara's dream is to open an apothecary shop and teach others about natural healing.

2. Sakura Tanaka

• Aesthetic: Cyberpunk

• Traits: Genius, Ambitious, Loner

• Aspiration: Chief of Mischief

• Origin: Japan

• Appearance: Sakura has neon-colored hair (often pink or blue), sharp makeup, and futuristic, tech-inspired clothing. She's lean with a cool, detached vibe, always wearing a headset or high-tech accessories.

• Backstory: Born in Tokyo, Sakura was always fascinated by technology. She became a top hacker in the underground scene, making a name for herself in the virtual world. Despite her rebellious streak, Sakura's main goal is to fight corruption in the corporate world, though she's willing to bend the rules to do so.

3. Mia Rossi

• Aesthetic: High Fashion / Chic

• Traits: Snob, Self-Assured, Perfectionist

• Aspiration: World-Famous Celebrity

• Origin: Italy

• Appearance: Mia has flawless skin, sharp cheekbones, and always wears the latest fashion trends. She prefers sleek, form-fitting dresses, bold makeup, and high heels, with platinum blonde hair styled to perfection.

• Backstory: Raised in Milan, Italy, Mia always dreamed of the runway. She worked hard to climb the fashion industry ladder, and now she's a well-known model and fashion icon. Mia is driven by fame and success, but she also has a secret passion for designing her own clothing line.

4. Aisha Carter

• Aesthetic: Athletic / Streetwear

• Traits: Active, Bro, Outgoing

• Aspiration: Bodybuilder

• Origin: USA (Atlanta)

• Appearance: Athletic build, muscular arms, and legs. She wears stylish athletic gear, often in bold colors, with her hair in braids or a high ponytail. Her style is a mix of streetwear and gym clothes.

• Backstory: Growing up in Atlanta, Aisha was always into sports. She played basketball in high school and eventually became a personal trainer.

Her goal is to open her own gym and inspire young women to embrace fitness and strength. Aisha is all about community and often organizes local sports events.

5. Leonardo "Leo" De Luca

• Aesthetic: Classic Italian / Sophisticated

• Traits: Romantic, Family-Oriented, Ambitious

• Aspiration: Successful Lineage

• Origin: Italy

• Appearance: Slicked-back dark brown hair, a well-groomed beard, and sharp, tailored suits. He exudes confidence and style, often accessorizing with watches and leather shoes.

• Backstory: Born into a wealthy family in Florence, Italy, Leonardo grew up appreciating fine art, good food, and family values. Now a successful businessman, he balances his corporate life with a deep desire to build a close-knit family of his own.

He dreams of being a role model for his future children, passing down his love for culture and tradition.

6. Jamal Thompson

• Aesthetic: Hip Hop / Urban Streetwear

• Traits: Music Lover, Creative, Outgoing

• Aspiration: Musical Genius

• Origin: USA (Brooklyn)

• Appearance: Jamal has dreadlocks, wears oversized hoodies, gold chains, and streetwear brands. He has a laid-back, cool demeanor, with tattoos that reflect his artistic and cultural roots.

• Backstory: Raised in Brooklyn, New York, Jamal always had a deep connection with hip-hop culture. He began writing rap lyrics and producing beats as a teen, inspired by the rhythm of city life.

His dream is to become a world-famous rapper and producer, using his music to inspire and tell stories from his community.

7. Bjorn Eriksen

• Aesthetic: Outdoorsy / Adventurer

• Traits: Loves Outdoors, Active, Loner

• Aspiration: Outdoor Enthusiast

• Origin: Norway

• Appearance: Tall and muscular with a rugged, weathered look. He has a beard and long blonde hair tied in a bun, often wearing practical outdoor gear like flannel shirts, cargo pants, and hiking boots.

• Backstory: Bjorn grew up in the rugged landscapes of Norway, where he learned to appreciate the power and beauty of nature. He's an avid hiker, fisher, and survivalist, often disappearing into the mountains for days at a time.

Bjorn prefers solitude and is happiest when he's surrounded by forests, lakes, and wildlife. His dream is to travel the world and conquer every major mountain.

8. Ethan Park

• Aesthetic: Tech-Savvy / Modern Geek

• Traits: Genius, Geek, Ambitious

• Aspiration: Computer Whiz

• Origin: South Korea

• Appearance: Wears graphic t-shirts, hoodies, and glasses. He has short, neatly styled black hair, and he's always carrying a laptop or some sort of gadget. He has a casual, nerdy look, but with a sharp edge when it comes to his work.

• Backstory: Ethan was born in Seoul, South Korea, but moved to Silicon Valley to pursue his dream of working in the tech industry. A programming prodigy, he's working on a start-up that he hopes will revolutionize the gaming world. Though he's a bit socially awkward, Ethan is determined to become a leading tech innovator, while staying connected to his geeky hobbies like gaming and comic books.

[lucian-v-ghost]

are we allowed to choose and/or change what our [standard issue android replacements] look like?

You are! While some people prefer exact cloned replicas of their own body, most have enjoyed the additional freedom, reduced injury and repairability of an Android form.

While the L.U.C.1.A.N chassis is exclusively used by the Units, the primary chassis that are most commonly available are S.T.E.V.3. and A.L.3.X. Chassis. (As of the addition of new default skins, there are many others, but we'll focus on these two for now.)

S.T.E.V.3.: Standard Titanium Endoskeleton, Version 3. This chassis is designed to be hardier and more rugged compared to the L.U.C.1.A.N model. It has enhanced strength and durability, however is heavier than the others. It's also more easily repairable, using standard, somewhat simpler components.

A.L.3.X.: Aluminium Lattice, 3rd eXplication. This chassis is designed to be faster and lighter than any others. It has a much higher top speed and is much more agile. It's also easier to fly and swim with. Like the S.T.E.V.3. model, it is also much easier to repair than the L.U.C.1.A.N model, once again using standardised, simpler components.

All other Android chassis models scale strength and dexterity between these two extremes, with exception to the L.U.C.1.A.N. model, which is used as a prototyping platform before upgrades are integrated into any others.

After an employee or customer has selected their chosen chassis, a 3D scan of their body is uploaded to the database. There the occupant can pick and choose preferred features, including adjustment or complete removal of specific body parts, as well as the addition of aesthetic items such as tattoos, visual representations of scars, or even cosmetic attachments such as horns or tails.

After this is done, an initial model is fabricated for inspection. If everything is up to the occupants preferences and standards, the transferal process can commence.

The occupants original body is placed in Cryogenic Suspension, a neural interface is attached at the base of the neck and then the occupants consciousness is transfered to the Android.

Unless the occupant has reason to leave the dimension the facility is located in, there is a constant digital uplink back to the host body. In the event that this up link is broken, the Cryogenic Pod will pause conscious brain function of the host, while the Android body will carry a separate consciousness and save the memories to an internal databank called a Red Box. Once the uplink is restored, the memory is downloaded to the host, after which normal brain activity is restored.

We hope this quick summary of the Ghost Industries Ltd. Android Consciousness System has been informative and helpful. If you have anymore questions, please don't hesitate to ask.

[bciwasinlove]

I never bothered saying anything about the new tattoo bc I found it pointless since we have no definite proof what it says and whether it says her name or it doesn't it wouldn't change a thing for me.

But now I keep seeing so many anons and shit going "maybe they were real, maybe he did love her, maybe he is straight" and I'm so confused bc did these people just forget ALL that happened during those two years and how often H made it clear he was miserable and didn't like her ??? *que ignoring her ass at the DWD red carpet event* Or all the things H has done over the years showing he's closeted [and I'd 100% argue not into women]. 🙃

Saying this tattoo is a "big deal" is 🤨. We are talking about the man who has "big toe" tattooed on his big toe. Yes he has meaningful tattoos but that dude gives no fucks and will also tattoo random shit.

I also think about the fact that Elton John was once legally married to a woman, George Michael was shown as one of the biggest womanizers of his time, yet later, we found out both were gay. The music industry behind the scenes has hardly changed since then, and they will do just about anything to make you believe these young closeted men are straight.

Plus our very own louis has the whole "I got a girl pregnant/dad" deal going on but most are still like yeah didn't happen and he's probably gay. So all of those things are far more of a "big deal" than a little thigh tattoo that can easily be removed later. *sigh*

[elvenbeard]

"How did you guys even meet?"

There it was again. Probably the most-asked question they had ever heard. It was true, at first glance Kerry and V didn't seem to have that much in common. None of Kerry's friends knew V's, none of V's knew Kerry's... or well, at least most of them didn't. Their lives appeared to have no overlap. V made no secret about his job, but he also never said anything concrete out loud. It drove the medias nuts, much to Kerry's amusement. Always vague, always the diplomat. Kerry loved how he managed to downright weasel them both out of uncomfortable conversations, with ease, and usually without leaving anyone offended. Kerry would have been a lot less subtle. But when this question was asked, both their faces lit up with mischief.

Kerry took off his sunglasses to look at V, who did the same, almost in sync. They resonated, still, always.

"Well, how'd we meet again, babe?" he asked, his thumb massaging V's shoulder, relishing in their comfortable closeness. V's leg on his lap, his hand on his arm... They matched, like puzzle pieces, like... he could go on with the cheesy metaphors forever probably and still not grasp how lucky he was to have found a match like him.

"I told the story last time. Your turn," V teased with a soft smile. Truth was... they'd never told anyone the truth. At least not those who asked "how'd you meet" just to keep the small-talk going, or because they hoped to sell some first-hand info to the next-best screamsheet.

Who would fucking believe the truth anyway? Kerry sure sometimes struggled with it himself. The more time passed, the more it seemed like a fever dream brought on by too much vodka and self-loathing, mourning a past long-gone.

So, they'd turned it into a game. Different story at every party, every interview, every event. Sometimes they came up with several per night. Just to see how far they could take it.

A few times they said they'd met through work, which was at least rooted in the truth. One of their most convincing ones had revolved around a particularly exciting and dangerous gig during which V saved Kerry's life and vice versa... no one caught on that the whole plot was eerily similar to one of their favourite action movies. Another time their first meeting was a chance-encounter at a secret underground sex club. Once they crashed their cars into each other and may have settled the issue by making out. They met backstage at a concert where V was with the roadies. V was his new manager, or his new bodyguard, an up-and-coming tattoo model, a braindance star, a fashion influencer famous already in the right circles and would soon have his big breakthrough. That last one annoyed the medias in particular, because it made them feel like not being in the know of all the industry's secrets anymore.

They had no shame creating the wildest tales, and it had quickly become one of Kerry's favourite pastimes at these dreadful industry-parties his manager forced them to go to. If his goal was that them showing themselves together in public more often would end all the rumours, well... it had the opposite effect. Kerry loved it.

He wanted tonight's story to be the best they'd told yet... something, that would be a challenge. V had gotten way too good at keeping a straight face at some of the most absurd details he added.

They'd promised to keep the real, full story to just themselves. With all the not so glamorous details. And yet... those were some of Kerry's favourite things about their meeting in the first place. That he hadn't even had time to tie his bathrobe shut properly, struggling to hold his gun all of a sudden because he was shaking so much. The state the villa had been in at the time, the state he had been in. V too dazed to even talk much during their first proper conversation, more mad at Johnny than anything, and more or less at Kerry's mercy. The fact that Kerry had been more interested in Johnny than the guy whose body he was using. This scrawny weird kid that was bleeding all over his sofa and played the tough guy... who then blushed and dropped his mask, just for a second, when Kerry jokingly asked if he wanted to join him in bed, just to annoy Johnny. They'd both been so fucking vulnerable from the very first moment, literally meeting during the worst possible time in each of their lives. And this vulnerability...

Had they met under any other circumstances, like in any of the grand tales they'd made up so far... would they be sitting here now, arm in arm, a little tipsy, plotting and scheming like two school boys up to no good? They'd have a good laugh later, and with the way V was all over him at this point already, they'd probably have some mind-blowing sex, too. Afterwards an unexpectedly profound conversation out of the blue? Or would they just be whispering sweet nothings at each other before they'd fall asleep side-by-side? Wake up together again tomorrow morning, warm and safe and comfortable, the cat purring somewhere... Would they be this happy, despite all their faults and imperfections, laid bare in front of the other from the first moment on?

"Guess you could say," he began slowly, still looking at V who smiled back expectantly, "A mutual friend introduced us..."

A little sprinkle of the truth, now and then. To remind himself how lucky he was that a story crazier than what they could have ever come up with was their truth, and theirs alone.

[rabbitechoes]

feels like a bit of a less-eventful month for new releases, but i still heard a few great records!!! i've been very enamored with the new porter robinson album especially!!! it's looking like august will be a veryyyyy busy month for new releases so let's hope i don't get swamped ... to check out my thoughts on some of the songs that dropped this month click here!!! also feel free to follow me on rate your music and twitter <3

SMILE! :D - Porter Robinson

🥇 BEST ALBUM OF THE MONTH

◇ released: July 26, 2024 ◇ genres: indietronica, electropop, pop rock

Despite the drastic difference in execution, Porter Robinson’s third studio album SMILE! :D is the perfect follow-up to 2021’s Nurture. The latter acted as an exploration to appreciate the beauty of life and art, all through bright and textured production. SMILE! :D is just as existential, but this time it’s a quest for Porter to learn to love himself and find enjoyment in the music he makes. Robinson ventures into his struggles with fame, fandom, and getting lost in nostalgia over bombastic electropop production. Those going into this album with the high expectations set by Nurture will most likely be disappointed – even I, who was pretty late to the hype of that record, found myself a bit stumped by this album at first. It’s a step back and as tongue-in-cheek as it is sincere, but it all comes into focus eventually. To move forward, SMILE! :D was the album he needed to make.

There’s a sugary sweet sound to most of the record which creates this dizzying array of emotions. On my first few listens, I viewed this as one of the album’s main flaws, and while I still have some very minor nitpicks with this approach, the brilliance of this choice reveals itself. The listener has about as much of a grasp on Robinson’s emotions as he does. He’s desperately trying to get a grip and rekindle the fun of making music, all the while putting on a delusionally brave face as he reckons with all of this conflict. Many of the album’s core themes are introduced in the faux-braggadocious opener, “Knock Yourself Out XD.” Robinson wrestles with how people perceive him and his music. Fighting expectations set by both his fans and the music industry at large. He wants to make happy pop music, but he can’t – at least not for long. The end of the song has him defeatedly embracing the aesthetics of a star; face tattoos, a drink in hand, a fancy new car, but it’s all disingenuous. “Cheerleader” and “Russian Roulette” expand on these ideas. The former is a cathartic banger about the parasocial relationships some people have with their favorite artists and the latter is an emotionally dynamic exploration of how it all affects his depression – drawing to a close with the sobering repeated phrase, “I wanna live, I don’t wanna die” before getting swallowed by rave-like synths. Robinson’s analysis of this is all through the context of the internet, which I find very compelling. The perpetual unseriousness of the internet, he sings about “YouTube review, funny monkey / Takes a piss into his own mouth, crazy” a reference to Pitchfork’s notorious review of Jet’s Shine On and how “A bad guy just died / They’re making memes about it.” This behavior, of which most of us are guilty to some degree, can disincentive sincerity and throw emotion to the wind. It can also be dehumanizing to the artists, making them feel like soulless commodities for our enjoyment alone.

“Russian Roulette” and the aggressive “Perfect Pinterest Garden” mark turning points in the album’s focus, it’s from here that Robinson begins to look further inward and dissect his own behaviors. “Year of the Cup” has the same structure as those TikTok videos of people putting Midwest emo riffs instrumentation over random videos which makes for one of the shakier moments on the record, but he manages to make it work. The song is built around this combative interview Lil Wayne did with Tim Westwood in 2009 and Robinson ties it back to his struggles with alcoholism and lashing out at those close to him. The predominant theme for the rest of the album is Robinson trying to come to terms with himself while reconnecting with his audience more healthily. He reminisces on how his past self would perceive him now, vowing to “Take care of the person we’ll both be eventually” on “Easier to Love You.” He regrets the things he’s done to become what he thinks a star should be, he’s just “Trying to look good, trying not to feel bad.” It’s empty and unfulfilling, he has to reconnect with who he is to both himself and his audience – finally coming to some form of a resolution on the optimistic closer “Everything To Me.”

SMILE! :D is an unconventional love letter to Robinson’s fans. In his words, they were “the perfect muse for an entire album.” This is an excellent album, one that is both interesting and immensely enjoyable. I understand why it’s proven to be a bit polarizing, but this is one of his finest achievements yet. His talents as a producer and songwriter are on full display here – and in much different ways than the album proceeding it. I’m pretty enamored with this album.

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Passage du Desir - Johnny Blue Skies / Sturgill Simpson

◇ released: July 14, 2024 ◇ genres: progressive country, country rock

Ever since 2014’s Metamodern Sounds in Country Music, Sturgill Simpson has made a name for himself as one of the most ambitious artists in country music that’s just barely outside the mainstream. Unlike a lot of other country artists who regularly see critical acclaim for simply being normal when compared to the worst the genre usually has to offer, Simpson has garnered that acclaim for making interesting music. His sound balances the rooted and the otherworldly – Passage du Desir is another great showcase of that. Working under the pseudonym Johnny Blue Skies, he crafts this almost cosmic sound. It’s like a country star beamed back down to earth, here to make country music that sounds familiar to us, but with an opulent and psychedelic twist that few artists wield as well as he does.

At each of these song’s respective cores is a damn fine country song, displaying Simpson’s clear understanding of the genre, but the arrangements are what make this album so special. This album was recorded in both Nashville and Abbey Road Studios in London and Simpson sounds in complete control here. He’s determined to take these songs to just the right heights. Like the opening accordion passage and subsequent simmering psychedelia of “Swamp of Sadness” where he sings of “Nights under the bright lights at Mignon on Beaumarchais,” hardly regular country fair – I would be amused to hear Morgan Wallen sing of nights spent in Paris. It has this alluring dreaminess to it that just swallows you, an incredible opener that shows his ambition. The centerpiece of the album is “Jupiter’s Faerie,” a cathartic lamentation of a lost friend. His vocals have this understated effect to them and the instrumentation builds around him as it eventually explodes alongside him in the chorus. The string flourishes in the chorus is exhilarating and beautiful. The near 9-minute “One For The Road” closes the album strong and another crowning achievement in Simpson’s, or Johnny Blue Skies’, career thus far. It’s a bittersweet country ballad that you can just get lost in. Ending the album with an extended instrumental section with harmonica, a soft piano, and a striking guitar solo is a bold move, but it works so well. 

There are moments where things are relatively stripped-back, like the jaunty “Scooter Blues,” the delightful melancholy of “Who I Am,” and the sweetness of “Mint Tea” – rather than potentially act as roadblocks between the more expansive tracks, they’re necessary. They re-center the album’s focus, grounding it a bit so that the grander moments hit that much harder. They never veer into the generic either, they still show an artist poised to be different.

Passage du Desir is an amazing album and the start of a bold new chapter for Johnny Blue Skies. Simpson’s use of that alter-ego from here on out is a little confusing given how personal everything still feels, but as long as he’s still making great music like this who am I to complain? This isn’t hokey or gimmicky at all, it just feels like yet another one of his tactics to subvert people’s expectations. Keep it up, I say!

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魔法学校 (Mahōgakkō) - Hakushi Hasegawa

◇ released: July 24, 2024 ◇ genres: art pop, glitch pop, nu jazz, deconstructed club, folktronica

I’ve been acutely aware of Hakushi Hasegawa for a little bit now, mainly through the acclaim of their 2018 EP 草木萌動 (Sōmoku hōdō). Despite that, 魔法学校 (Mahōgakkō) was my first foray into their music. Talk about a first impression, this album is insane. Right from the start, it grabs you by the scruff of your neck and throws you on a rollercoaster of abrasive, colorful, and rhythmic instrumentation. These songs are captivating, both in how wild they tend to be and even more so in how occasionally beautiful they are. Like the disorienting sound of “行つてしまつた (Gone)” with KID FRESNO or the serene folktronica of “撤回 (Repeal).” Hasegawa has a deep understanding of the eclectic sounds they’re incorporating on this record which makes both their renditions and disorientations of them pay off in such a unique way. 

Nearly every song here has some kind of unexpected twist and turn. The rare ones that don’t still add this feeling of surreality to the album. There’s such a palpable energy to the album too, it’s like electricity currents are running underneath every song on the album. It feels almost magical like you’re in some kind of distorted fantasy land where things only vaguely resemble what you’re familiar with. Hasegawa is in complete control of these eccentric sounds. This is very evident on tracks like “恐怖の星 (KYŌFUNOHOSHI)” with its distinct blend of nu jazz and glitch pop. Or the avant-garde sound collage nature of “焱ばみ (Enbami).” Nothing sounds out of their jurisdiction. They lead these songs into bold new territory and you’re just along for the experience. 

魔法学校 (Mahōgakkō) is an amazing album that greatly showcases Hakushi Hasegawa’s talents. This is an album best experienced in one sitting. Let all of these sounds wash over you – or rather let them throw themselves at you. This album hardly wastes a single second, besides that 30-second interlude of an A.I. conversation, they just keep crafting wild, exciting, and sometimes gorgeous sounds that are sure to enthrall you. This is one of the best instances of maximalist music in the online age. It’s also a good motivator to finally go back through Hasegawa’s back catalog and hear what I’ve been missing.

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King of the Mischievous South Vol. 2 - Denzel Curry

◇ released: July 19, 2024 ◇ genres: southern hip hop, trap, hardcore hip hop, memphis rap

Denzel Curry has proven to be one of the most consistent rappers of the modern era and that remains true with this new record, King of the Mischievous South Vol. 2 – the sequel to one of his early mixtapes. Curry’s last album, Melt My Eyez See Your Future, was the biggest progression of his sound since TA13OO in 2018. However, instead of pushing forward, Curry decided to take a step backward and get re-acquainted with his roots. This album is just no-nonsense southern hip hop in a concise and effective package. Gone are the dense, jazz-flavored beats of his last album – in are the hard-hitting hardcore beats that cut right to the heart of the matter. Neither approach is inherently better or worse, but Curry has crafted one of the most fiery hip hop records of the year with the latter.

Curry is no stranger to scaling things back after a big project – in fact, it’s a part of his formula at this point. The ambitious TA13OO beget ZUU the following year and Melt My Eyez led into this great new record. This is a much more effective record than ZUU, it shows Curry returning to his old stomping grounds and showing that he is a force to be reckoned with. He enlists numerous fellow southern rappers to aid him, aside from a few from the East and West coasts, as well as Kingpin Skinny Pimp to host the record in its interludes. This is a very collaborative effort, but make no mistake Curry is the star. He rarely ever does things halfheartedly, but he sounds incredibly reinvigorated on this project. His bars are clever, sharp, and confident. They have this air of spontaneity to them which makes this album so infectious. The other rappers featured here, for the most part, keep that same energy. Like on “BLACK FLAG FREESTYLE” where That Mexican OT – who I had never heard of before this project, damn near steals the show. That’s another cool thing about this album, alongside some well-established names, it features a lot of lower-profile rappers like That Mexican OT, TiaCorine, Key Nyata, and Armani White who get the opportunity to shine here alongside Denzel. Everyone brings the heat and most of them make a good impression. On his quest to prove that he’s the king, Curry raises these artists up with him while also sharing the stage with legends like Juicy J and Project Pat – although Pat will show up damn near anywhere at this point.

Although some tracks don’t fully stick the landing, like “Set It” with Maxo Kream and “Hit the Floor” with Ski Mask the Slump God, there’s no shortage of bonafide heaters on this record. “HOT ONE,” the album’s lead single, is an awesome mix of trap, cloud rap, and Memphis rap. Curry boldly claims that he hasn’t changed despite leaving the South, he’s still just as driven. That drive is evident throughout the project. “G’Z UP” is a straight-up jam that doesn’t waste any time and features great guest verses from 2 Chainz and Mike Dimes. “SKED” has Curry, Kenny Mason, and Project Pat sounding fearless over a lowkey almost rage beat. Every now and then some tracks feel like they’re far too brief, but that can be sort of forgiven due to the album’s quick pacing. Dull moments are seldom found here.

King of the Mischievous South Vol. 2 feels like a quick detour for Curry before he goes back to making grander projects – this is hardly a dismissal of the project though as it’s almost endlessly enjoyable. He reconnects with his roots in a deeply satisfying way. He’s always been one of the most exciting artists in hip hop and this record provides further proof to that claim.

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The War - Toy Bastard

◇ released: July 15, 2024 ◇ genres: indie rock, post-rock

Ethan Ives, best known as a multi-instrumentalist in Car Seat Headrest, has released his second album under the name Toy Bastard. The War is a damn fine post-rock record with some big indie rock choruses throughout. It doesn’t reinvent the wheel, but it’s a very great record despite that. This is a concept record about, I believe metaphorically, being at war. Ives uses wartime imagery to detail being at war with the world itself. It’s a concept that could easily be a little corny, but it works well here. This frantic and anxious atmosphere keeps you engaged, waiting to see what comes next. Made all the more enthralling because of the instrumentation – perhaps the biggest highlight of the record. Everything has a punch, nothing lays soft on the ears or floats past you. Everything from the acoustic guitar passage at the start of “The Babe in the Woodshed” to the sporadic synths on “Summer of ‘14,” it all just grabs you. Necessary for the concept to work as well as it does.

My favorite moment on the record comes with the 13-minute “VALIS,” an epic borderline prog-rock instrumental which, even without words, adds so much to the record’s concept. If you take the album at face value and believe the narrator is actually at war, it sounds like being on the battlefield. Loud guitar riffs come and go before being washed out alongside these choral arrangements – it’s unpredictable, but you’re hanging on to every shift. It’s wonderfully paced and not something I was expecting going into this record. Even on the tracks that are more of your standard indie rock, Ives brings in some cool quirks to these arrangements. It never sounds generic or tired, it sounds like he has a strong vision of what he wants this album to sound like, and for the most part, he nails it. The album ends with “Daddy Was a Starship Captain,” another “epic” track and the emotional climax of the record. It displays all of his strengths as both a songwriter and a producer, from the aquatic vocals to the killer guitar solo towards the end – everything just comes together here. Songs like this and “VALIS,” make me so excited to hear what Toy Bastard has in store for the future. The War is a great record and I feel like we’ll get even more great records from him in the future.

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My Light, My Destroyer - Cassandra Jenkins

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ genres: singer-songwriter, sophisti-pop, indie rock

My Light, My Destroyer sounds like sifting through old photos during a transitional period of your life and letting all of the old memories wash over you like waves on the shore. One minute you’re transported back to the past, not a perfect one, but one that seems more comforting than where you are now. The next you’re reflecting on the present, the dishes are piling up and you feel alone, but there are still beautiful things in the world and you need to be reminded of that – The constellations in the sky, the colorful flowers, and the people you love. Cassandra Jenkins explores them all in her bold third studio album, the follow-up to her acclaimed previous album An Overview on Phenomenal Nature as well as her label debut on Dead Oceans.

The instrumentation is the only thing that keeps this album from reaching its full potential. Jenkins’ songwriting is the strongest it has ever been here, but some of these songs lack a distinct sound that separates her from her contemporaries. Like the soaring guitars on “Aurora, IL” which sound reminiscent of some of her new labelmates – it’s not a bad song, I just wish every track here had a striking and distinct sound that matched her songwriting. That’s certainly not to say there’s a shortage of unique arrangements here. In fact, I think this is her strongest material to date in that regard. Like the ambient art pop of “Delphinium Blue” where Jenkins’ voice sounds adrift in the ocean as the atmospheric synths and subtle percussion surround her. She’s trying to keep herself grounded as she gets lost in the delphinium flowers that remind her of someone. All of those feelings are not just conveyed lyrically, but also through the instrumentation. She shifts between that soft art pop and more rock-tinged tracks, like the steady guitars of “Petco” and the almost country flavor of “Clams Casino.” It’s a good balance. The strongest track on the album is “Tape and Tissue,” with its jazzy flavor which juxtaposes the spacey synths in such an amazing way. It’s one of the most vulnerable moments in Jenkins’ catalog thus far, a very captivating song.

This is a fascinating next step for Jenkins and I’m excited to hear where she goes from here. Her music sounds bigger and more polished, but I hope she introduces some more unique sounds in the future to make herself fully stand out. There’s a lot to love here though, I just feel like her best is still on the horizon. I can’t wait for that.

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Charm - Clairo

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ genres: soft rock, sophisti-pop

Bedroom pop icon Claire Cottrill continues to ramp up her sound on her third studio album Charm. Her last album was very folk-inspired, but instead of going further in that direction, she dives deep into this 70s soft rock sound which yields some gorgeous instrumentation while often obscuring her in the process. Clairo’s vocals have always been light no matter the words she’s singing, she’s a very cozy singer. This has worked in her favor a lot of the time, like on the mostly spare arrangements of Sling, but on Charm, she ends up getting lost in it all. Not in a “this music is free-flowing and all-encompassing” kind of way, but in a way that snuffs out some of the heart of the record. These beautiful, mostly organic arrangements yearn for a vocalist with stronger conviction. If there ever was an album for Clairo to add some new flair to her delivery it was this one. 

There are some strong highlights here though, namely the opening track “Nomad” with its alluringly textured arrangement – the twinkling guitar and that weighty upright bass work so well together. It’s also one of the songs where I think she stands out as a vocalist, the way she seamlessly transitions to the higher note of the chorus is stunning. Very glad that song finally clicked with me after I heard it as a single and was left a little unimpressed. That starts the album on a very high note and it just keeps going! It’s light on the ears, most songs coming and going without grabbing you beyond a catchy chorus or maybe some cool new bits of instrumentation. Like the whirling synths on “Juna” or the clarinet on “Pier 4,” but those bright spots aren’t enough to elevate the album to a more satisfying level. Charm is a very pleasant album. It’s not bad at all, it’s just pleasant.   I understand why some people love this unabashedly, I was just craving something with a bit more substance. The thing is, her lyricism isn’t unsubstantial, I just wish she delivered it in a more engaging form and not within songs that often fade into the background. I’m curious about which direction she’ll go in after Charm, I just hope it’s more interesting.

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Bando Stone and the New World - Childish Gambino

◇ released: July 19, 2024 ◇ genres: experimental hip hop, art pop

Donald Glover is drawing the Childish Gambino era of his career to a close with Bando Stone and the New World – the soundtrack to his upcoming film which doesn’t have a release date yet. It’s a bold move to drop the soundtrack to a film that still has no release date, but Glover has made interesting creative decisions for years now to varying levels of success. In a way, that’s what makes this album the perfect closing chapter for Childish Gambino. It’s an ambitious, eclectic mess with high highs, low lows, and a lot of stuff that falls in between. Such is the case with most of his albums – bar Awaken, My Love which I think is a consistently great project and his best work. However, while it might be a fitting end, that doesn’t make this a great record.

Glover dabbles in a number of different sounds across this album, which is neat, but the songs themselves leave a lot to be desired. It’s cool that “Running Around” is a pop punk track, but is the song that good beyond the novel concept? Not really. The same can be said about “Happy Survival” which is a dub song. It’s cool that he goes to these places, but the execution leaves a lot to be desired. Then again, maybe the songs that didn’t click with me on this album make more sense in the context of the film. There are plenty of voice clips and narrative references I can only assume are related to the film it’s soundtracking, but they mean nothing to me in this current moment. On its own, it feels like this album is awkwardly awaiting its companion. To play on a quote from Glover’s character in Community, “I can’t wait to understand these references!”

With that being said, he manages to throw in some great songs here and there. I said in my write-up on “Lithonia” when it was first released as a single that it was “overdramatic and suffocating,” but that it could be the soundtrack to a climactic moment in both the film and the soundtrack. Well, despite it being only the second song on the album, I unabashedly love this track. The suffocating nature of the production ramps up the energy even more and Glover’s yelped vocals add to the intensity. I don’t know who Cody LeRae is, but that dude is going through some shit! He plays around with various styles of hip hop across the album to mostly good results. The peak of this is the deceptively layered production of “Yoshinoya,” which has Glover cutting out all pretense and making a straight-up banger. “No Excuses” is another massive highlight as it blends neo-soul with some subtle lounge elements and the end result is one of the prettiest songs in his catalog. The little synth riffs in the choruses are just sublime. This album is spotty overall, but it has plenty of gems.

Childish Gambino has been a constant presence in hip hop and beyond for over a decade now. Starting out as an actor making deeply corny music on Camp, to the massive Because the Internet which is considered by many to be a seminal 2010s hip hop record despite its flaws – no shame, I have nostalgia for it too – to his more experimental works in both music and TV throughout the later part of the decade, Childish Gambino’s legacy is nothing to sneeze at. Sure, it’s got an abundance of flaws, and a lot of it doesn’t hold up under intense scrutiny, but he’s nothing if not ambitious. Such is the case with Bando Stone and the New World which, in its own imperfect way, is the perfect end to the Childish Gambino story.

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Y2K! - Ice Spice

◇ released: July 26, 2024 ◇ genres: new york drill, east coast hip hop

Ice Spice has become one of the most prominent figures in hip-hop, for better or for worse. She’s built an empire on hit-or-miss heaters and an abundance of bars of the fecal variety. Now, after what seems like a long wait, we have her debut album Y2K! – an album that doesn’t resemble any of the aesthetics or reference anything from Y2K culture, so that’s a bit of a head-scratcher. This is hardly a bold new statement from Ice Spice, this is just her doing her thing except a bit more tired. These songs, for the most part, leave you with nothing to say. She and producer RIOTUSA craft sleepy bangers that give Spice the stage to do her same old, same old routine. She has “ABC, 123” flows and says the most inane stuff until she spits another funny poop or fart bar that’s so weird that it makes me laugh so hard until I feel sick. There’s a three-track run where she centers all of this soiled energy, she says “I’m Miss Poopie, but I never smell” on “BB Belt,” “Think you the shit, bitch? / You not even the fart (Grrah)” on the titular “Think U The Shit (Fart),” and she rounds it all up with “I'm Miss Poopie like I need a diaper (Grrah)” on “Gimmie A Light.” Ok, Miss Poopie, what the fuck are you talking about? Are you determined to be the poop bar girl?

“Did It First” with Central Cee is the only song I think is pretty great. Somehow they just bring out the best in each other, it’s one of her best for sure. The rest of Y2K! is either just ok, bad, or exhausting, but you would be hard-pressed to find another album that has made me laugh as much as it has so I guess that has to count for something. 

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Guilty Pleasure - JoJo Siwa

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ genres: electropop, dance-pop, slap house

Dance Moms and Nickelodeon alumni JoJo Siwa has been making an ass of herself over the last few months as she ushers in this new “adult” era of her career. From gaudy outfits and makeup to claiming that she wants to invent “gay pop” to downing Fireball during a live performance, she’s become a consistent scapegoat of the internet. After hearing this new EP Guilty Pleasures, I just have to ask … why did she do all that? Now, Siwa has never had a penchant for subtlety – see her car with a wrap-around decal that’s just a collage of her face as the most damning example – but this music just doesn’t call for any of that. It’s more mature in a sense, she sings about “twirlin' in a ballroom” and “twerkin' in the bedroom” in the song “Balance Baby” and the biggest hook on the album is Siwa crooning that “Karma’s a bitch!” so this wouldn’t get played on Nickelodeon that’s for sure, but it all just feels so childish. It’s almost like she’s doing an over-the-top parody of the infamous edgy phases a lot of child stars have gone through – which if that’s the case, maybe this is all genius, but I highly doubt it. Also enlisting Meghan Trainor for help on your “I’m a big kid now” EP is laughable. It’s like trying to buy punk clothes at an Old Navy. 

On the whole, I guess Guilty Pleasure isn’t as big of a trainwreck musically as I thought it would be – not to say it’s good by any means though. It’s just loud, vapid, boringly competent pop songs for the most part that weren’t worth all of the antics we’ve been subject to for months. I don’t see this being the starting point for a fruitful new chapter of JoJo Siwa’s career. The music is incredibly forgettable so maybe that’s why she feels the need to make a fool of herself in public.

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The Death of Slim Shady (Coup de Grâce) - Eminem

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ genre: hardcore hip hop

In this messy concept album, Eminem resurrects and then kills his alter ego “Slim Shady” while also offering an introspective look at his own life. Sounds like a cool concept, in theory – no doubt, a little bit of a nostalgia ploy for the millennial crowd, but in execution, this is one of the most clumsy albums I’ve ever heard. I wasn’t expecting much at all going into The Death of Slim Shady given the state of his work over the past, give or take, 20 years, but it might be worse than I was anticipating. He fumbles over this concept of wrestling with his edgy other self for the bulk of the record, relying on tired shock humor and staccato flows that wear thin barely before the album gets going.

The shock humor in question is seemingly self-aware, but that doesn’t make it any less exhausting. Eminem and Slim Shady poke fun at several things that will get the worst people you know to cheer and applaud. Multiple jabs at Caitlyn Jenner and transgender people in general, Christopher Reeve and paraplegic people, people with dwarfism, and numerous mentions of people being “woke” and Eminem being afraid of the “politically correct police.” The desired reaction is a “WOAH, CAN HE EVEN SAY THAT?” – but my reaction was just a shrug of the shoulders and an “ok?” This concept plagues the album and he runs every joke into the ground right as it’s getting started. If I took a shot every time Caitlyn Jenner was mentioned on this album I would die of alcohol poisoning. More than the material on the album being tired, Eminem’s fanbase by and large clings to this edgy stuff. They lament the “woke mob” and “cancel culture” so they’re taking the album at face value. Likewise, Eminem’s critics take it at face value as well and pick lyrics out of context to make Eminem look like the bad guy he pokes fun at. So, this album is one both his fanbase and critics misinterpret and an incredibly rough listen even if you grasp the concept – so is there anything at all The Death of Slim Shady succeeds at? Uhhhh, some of the beats are cool I guess.

This album is just Eminem doing his thing. He’s stuck in this “lyrical spiritual miracle” style perpetually and it’s grating even if he had something of worth to say – which he doesn’t. Even the ruminations he offers on his own life, career, and family feel way too theatrical and obtuse to connect with. The album’s drastic shift at points towards the end, namely “Temporary” and the closer “Somebody Save Me,” where he makes songs directed to his family in the event of his passing just falls flat. Not helped by the fact he comes into the record with a full head of steam as he lashes out at the world in his own self-obsessed way. The rare time it sort of, emphasis on that, works is on the short opener “Renaissance” where he takes aim at modern hip hop fans. There’s no shortage of clunky bars, but “You nerdy pricks would find somethin' wrong with 36 Chambers” gave me a good laugh, ostensibly making it the highlight of the record for me. 

The Death of Slim Shady is a complicated misfire being celebrated by those who don’t understand it as a win and being torn down by those who also don’t understand it as a bigoted dumpster fire. I want to make this perfectly clear, it is not the onus of the artist to spoon-feed the audience what the actual meaning of it all is, but this just seems like a total miscalculation and misunderstanding of your fanbase and the world at large. Slim Shady’s edgy antics seemed outlandish in the 2000s which is what made them kind of work, but when he goes on record venting about “woke people” and transgender people it just doesn’t ring the same in 2024. These are talking points that aren’t hard to find anymore, they’re in the mainstream. It will be celebrated by those who agree with his observations and ridiculed by those who see Marshall Mathers as another old rapper who cried “cancel culture.” It’s a lose-lose situation, not helped at all by the fact that this album simply isn’t good – I would go as far as to say it’s pretty bad.

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I Love You So F***ing Much - Glass Animals

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ genres: alt-pop, pop rock

Glass Animal’s previous effort Dreamland is one of my nightmare albums. One of the vapidest and most irritating albums I’ve ever heard – made even more unbearable by the fact their disaster song “Heat Waves” lingered on the charts for well over a year, 91 weeks to be exact. The band holds the record for the longest-charting song on the Billboard Hot 100 of all time. Everyone I’ve spoken to tells me some variation of “This band used to be good” or “They just got too commercial,” and while that may be true, they’re not worthy of much grace. My only prior exposure to the band was through “Life Itself” playing all the time on my local alternative radio station in the summer of 2016. That song isn’t perfect by any means, but listening to it after having heard Dreamland and I Love You So F***ing Much, made it feel like one of the greatest songs of all time. The band did not clean up their act on this new record here, in fact, they just dug their graves even deeper. 

A lot of the same horrible qualities of their last album are present here except for that corporate summer veneer. Instead, that’s traded out for spacier sounds which don’t make the album any more palatable. There is no life here. It’s as if a group of deeply sheltered 20-somethings who had only heard sacred music their entire life stumbled upon MGMT and decided to make their version. The band is not good songwriters, perhaps their only talent is the ability to drive the most annoying choruses and melodies you have ever heard far into the ground – ironic given the interstellar aspirations they have for this album. The worst offender here is “A Tear in Space (Airlock)” with its repeating “WATAAH” hooks in the chorus. I sense a desire from the band to have another “Heat Waves,” they want to fluke their way back onto the charts with another big song with a big, obnoxious chorus, but I don’t see that happening with any track on the album. That’s the only artistic motivation I can grasp from this project, it feels desolate. It’s empty and soul-crushing, it doesn’t feel human. Made even worse by the fact that I don’t think any of the normal pop music listeners were clamoring for another song from the “Heat Waves” band – so I have to ask, why did they decide to go down this dead-end road instead of making something even a teeny tiny bit interesting? Have they simply just thrown in the towel and resigned themselves to making this kind of music for the foreseeable future? I Love You So F***ing Much is a hopeless record, a deeply miserable affair with little to no redeeming qualities. It’s the sound of a band with no convictions and no heart. The threat of A.I. and its inevitable use in music is a genuine fear, but I feel like a computer could never replicate the human element of music. I have faith that the general public will see through it as some sort of gimmick and it won’t put any musicians out of a job – well, maybe except for Glass Animals.

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