#TYPO IN THE LAST ONE SORRY

[popballadtourney]

Frankenstein Showdown - Week 3

[jamandjazz]

Even though I don't know much about Mason, what are your favourite hcs of him? :3

I’m going to kiss you omggggggg

• Mason loved his horse, I do NOT care what anyone says, but he loved Tex more. He wanted Tex to be happy so he didn’t ask for his horse back so that they could have more money to use to buy Tex his horse back

• I’m not sure if this is canon but Mason absolutely skipped meals to save money.

Like…????

• He wanted to go to the fair. You CANNOT convince me he DIDNT want to go. He just knew they wouldn’t have enough money for the two of them and he figured Tex should be able to go anyways, with or without him.

This is a conversation I’ve had with my brother when money was tight. “I just don’t want to go, drop it.”

• That ulcer was from stress for sure. Like no way it was anything else.

• He’s absolutely tried, on multiple occasions, to show Tex how bad their dad is because Tex keeps talking abt him like he hung the stars and Mason can’t STAND IT. He wants their dad to care more, but he doesn’t ever let himself believe that he will. Tex might have the luxury of not worrying about money and get to think their dad will be back soon but Mason doesn’t. He needs to plan in case their dad doesn’t EVER come back, which I’m pretty sure is a genuine fear that’s mentioned but I didn’t screenshot it and I can’t get into Internet archive rn to check 💔

• Completely self indulgent hc but bros aroace. There’s genuinely valid reasons that I can go into depth with but it’s a LOT of yapping and this post is already pretty long so all you get rn is ✨vibes✨

• Bro learned to be a silent crier bc he did NOT want Tex to ever know when he was genuinely upset. Didn’t think it should be his problem.

[delimeful]

Really? You don’t find passive aggressive comments, such as your tags, do be impolite?

And how, exactly, is an ask button (which YOU enabled) that is commonly known to be used for requesting stories on Tumblr from writing pages impolite? Are you new to writing Tumblr? What do you think a majority of writers on Tumblr use that ask button for?

I’ve been a follower for a while but I’m pretty dissapointed tbh.

Anonymous asked: I noticed a reply from @/gstash So let me address that as well. No, of course I don’t expect everything immediately and for free, and I initially requested this story over a year ago. I also spent over $50 being subscribed to Lime’s Patreon specifically for this story, but I had to stop due to low finances. I was just trying to check on when it may be up soon, but I felt the response was rather rude.

(the added slash is mine, i didn't want to inadvertently @ anyone else in this debacle lol)

this is gonna be my final word on the matter because im sick of getting home from work to asks like these. anything else is gonna be deleted. feel free to go ahead and use your actual blog to reply instead of anon if you still feel that strongly about it.

i dont think my tags weren't passive aggressive they were just plain statements. no, i don't think it's impolite to express a boundary irt people asking me for updates. your indignation about this reflects on you, not me.

to clarify, badgering me for updates (verbatim: "Could you please please please post chapter 7") isn't impolite, just irritating. it was the decision to send another ask chiding me for my response that was impolite. kind of a dick move, as most involved in the tumblr writing community know. i genuinely feel sorry for the writers you follow if you genuinely only see their ask boxes as an opportunity to pester them.

i'm disappointed too, anon. i hoped that maybe keeping calm and sincerely explaining myself would be enough to prompt you to respond with empathy in kind, but instead you doubled down.

it seems like there's been a misunderstanding in regards to my patreon; there is no tier that ensures a specific chapter of a fic is updated within a specific time frame. that would be a commission, which is explicitly listed as a reward for my $30 tier, because those take a lot more time + energy for me.

my $12 patreon tier offers early access to my writing, and the ability to request future chapters be moved up on my to-do list, through polls + priority continuation requests. i can't guarantee any specific chapter update in a month, and i'll explain why.

currently, i have over 50 total WIP fics being worked on. each month, i get around 25 chapter update requests. even assuming that each chapter is 2k, my usual minimum chapter length, i would have to write 50,000 words every single month. if i had the capability for that kind of regular output, i would be churning out books like stephen king instead of constantly struggling for my usual monthly 10-15k like a chump lol.

in essence, don't subscribe to my patreon for a specific story unless you know the next chapter for it is already up there. which it is, because i eventually got to your request. and it'll eventually be up on the blog for free. and during the months you spent subscribed to my patreon, you received at minimum tens of thousands of words of content.

finally, an earnest request: please stop acting like twelve dollars is an exorbitant fee when i'm literally making pennies per word written. like, i could have worked a single 8 hour shift at mcdonalds in texas for minimum wage instead and i would have ended up with $8 more than you paid me for four months of many hours of dedicated work.

(not even a joke: 7.25 x 8 = 58.)

in conclusion, i am a human person with feelings, just like every other writer on this site. please take a moment to remember that when sending asks in the future

[sheepalmighty]

Some more of that Chai joins Vandelay for half a day AU. Or just a picture of a kinda OOC Kale chilling if you wanna gloss over those comics. I'm still not sure if the colours are too garish or not.

These were mostly done with the premise of treating Kale's office like the hideout. I also really like how mundane, or familiar, the interactions between Chai and Kale can be in the game so I wanted to draw some stuff exploring more like that. But also, there's the ulterior motive of shipping so I included an out of context scene because I can't bother drawing the rest of it (though it seems like a huge jump in their relationship as a result. I think they're so big headed that they get stuck in a feedback loop of stroking the other's ego if an excuse comes up to do so)

[whosname]

[Id. Two yearbook style pictures. 1. Tae Shimura, in her salarymen au persona, peace sign posing and smiling. 2. She changes her demeanor and now looks very serious, scary. End Id.]

Tae/scary PR lady: I trust there will not be any unpleasant surprises on the next website design revision, Hijikata kun. Hijikata: S-surprises? [goes back to every photo he's taken] No, no, no surprises, no sir.

[Id. Hijikata, the art director/graphic designer, about to have a nervous breakdown, chewing on a pencil saying "S-surprises? No, no, no surprises, no sir." while remembering every photo he has taken on the website photo saga. End Id.]

Time to introduce Tae Shimura as the scary PR lady.

[animangalover-writes]

Time for another dream i had, this time about zutara.

This one is a lot shorter, but essentially I had a dream where kataras whole family(which seemed to have more members then in the show) all live in the fire nation, hiding the fact that they're water tribe(rather, they were water tribe).

Katara is in some sort of relationship with zuko. It's unclear if she's his wife, his girlfriend, or his mistress, but its not hidden. People know about her and her relationship with him.

(Putting the rest under a cut so I don't clog up the feed lol)

If she was his mistress it's kinda held in that way that kings had other women they'd sleep with along with their queen and it was just an accepted, albeit kinda shitty, thing to do.

Anyway, katara is also pregnant, which was kind of an underlying "plot point" and would return home to her family every day to check on them.

It's revealed here that katara is basically the only reason her family is doing pretty well for themselves. Her relationship with zuko means that they have enough to get by. It's also noted that her whole family(katara, sokka, their dad, their grandma, and some made up new family members) all live in one house. So its clear they're still kind of struggling.

It's also revealed, through a conversation with her grandma, that the only otehr reason katara is with zuko, is because it was part of a bigger plan. She and her family are part of a resistance against the fire nation, and when they realized zuko liked katara, wanted her to infiltrate and pretend to be in love with him.

The plan had clearly gone on longer then anticipated, for whatever reason, and katara is conflicted because she actually does have feelings for him now, not fo mention she's pregnant with his child.

There's a "scene" either at the beginning or after this reveal that shows zuko in a meeting with other fire nation officials, including his father and sister, and that either he was against one of their plans but is ignored or his plan gets shut down(I don't remember which). Katara always sits in on these meetings with him, and afterwards, as everyone is getting up to leave, she leans her forehead against his and whispers that everything will be alright. This is why we can tell she truly does care about him, to some degree. But it's also a moment showing potential manipulation, like shes pretending to care. It's supposed to be a little of both, she needs him to trust her but she does still love him.

After all of this, we cut to a scene in a forest/swamp. This part is kind of blurry in my head, but basically, it's a secret meeting. Katara is dressed similarly to the painted lady, her and a few other resistance members, including Sokka, Suki, and Hakoda, are planning an ambush on Zuko and his family, who are supposed to travel down a path nearby. Katara is a key part of this plan, as she's the only waterbender, and she knows this. She nods along to everything regarding the plan and she goes over important points herself as well. But as everyone else continues talking, katara is having doubts. She loves Zuko. She's about to have his child. She cares for him. But she needs to free the world from the fire nations clutches as well. She doesn't want to kill Zuko, but she has to in order to help others. She's hesitating.

They continue with the plan anyway, and through the foliage that katara and the others are hiding in, we see a carriage making its way down the path. Zuko and his family(or at least his father) are in there.

Everyone is getting ready to fight, to jump out and attack. We see a close up shot of Katara, conflicted. She's still not sure if she can go through with this, if she can kill Zuko.

And then I woke up.

[secretagentsagainstwhatever]

Idk if the Chappell Roan European tour discourse is just happening on twitter, but this feels like a safer place to give my 2 cents

Artists cancelling their shows (especially so last minute that people can’t get refunds) is definitely too common an occurrence and should be discouraged. However i don’t think I’ve personally ever seen any artists receive THIS much backlash from doing so, and i don’t think it’s a coincidence that the artist getting the most hate for doing something other performers have done and will do is a lesbian woman

[all-thestories-aretrue]

Obligatory disclaimer: I am not that familiar with VtM 20th anniversary edition mechanics or the lore so like take some of this with a grain of salt (or several).

TDLR: Nara exploits Neil and his abilities by taking away his ability to consent by getting him high during their time in Baghdad. 

There is the obvious moral quandary of “one guy getting high is worth saving the world,” which may be true. That is not what I am here to discuss. I am much more interested in looking at Neil and Nara’s dynamic during this time and what it says about them. 

It is obvious that Neil cares for Nara; he loves her. It’s stated that he would trust her with his life, and he calls her beloved nearly every chance he gets. I do think Nara does care for Neil in some ways; I just don’t think her feelings outweigh his usefulness to her. She has many reasons to keep Neil close to her, and her care for him is just one. 

Time is running out for Nara and the Assamites; the Herald is rising, and she knows this. She also knows Neil is capable of having visions. These two facts culminate in her using Neil to get what she wants regardless of his own thoughts or feelings. In addition, I would argue that Nara is familiar with Neil on kalif, that she would know how it affects and impairs him given their relationship and proximity to one another, particularly earlier in Neil’s life. I don’t think it’s a stretch to believe she would know any potential dependencies or addictions Neil would have to the substance. 

I posit that kalif does not affect all Kindred the same, and that it has different potencies (smoking vs. ingesting kalif tainted blood) based on how Jubair and Neil both react to smoking in Neil’s solo episode. However, I do recognize that Neil has been on a steady diet of kalif (and who knows what else) for a few weeks at the time of his meeting with Jubair, and it is safe to assume he is not sober when he accepts the joint from Nara as he mentions having trouble focusing earlier in the episode.

Over the course of their conversation, we see Jubair take “a heavy hit” (PoN 1.5-Neil Foster 11:39) off of Neil’s joint, but he does not seem to have any immediate effects. He remains cognizant and able to carry on the conversation with Neil, and he is quick to respond to the attack. Whereas Neil is unable to follow the conversation and repeatedly looks to Nara for guidance since he is unable to make his own determination despite only having accepted the joint moments before Jubair is introduced. 

I also posit that kalif has addictive qualities about it. Whether this is true or not, I honestly don’t know, but there is evidence in PoN indicative that it may be addictive. When Nara offers Neil the joint, the comment is made, “If she gives it to me, I take it. It’s hard to say no” (PoN 1.5-Neil Foster 8:10). Later on, in episode 25, the coterie is hit with a kalif bomb, and Neil is described as an addict (PoN s2ep25 16:15). Though, this could have been a way to explain Neil’s mechanical failure. 

(As a note, I haven’t been able to find much online about kalif and whether or not it is addictive. The source I have read, provided by @peppedstep, compared it to weed and described it as a strong hallucinogen that is used for ritualistic magical purposes (Rites of Blood, pg,72).) 

Whether or not kalif is addictive, Nara knowingly and willingly gave Neil a substance that impairs his cognitive function and lowers his defenses to serve her own ends, and did so to “a dangerous degree” (17:40). I would also argue she would be familiar with the impact kalif and the visions may have on his mental health (panic attacks, dissociation, anxiety, etc.), and she chooses to proceed with offering the drug to him anyway without heed for his wellbeing. In this situation, Neil is incapable of giving informed consent (regarding the conversation, regarding the additional kalif, regarding his next attempt at a vision on her behalf) because he is already dangerously high or because he is addicted, or, realistically, both.  

Nara also preys on Neil’s people-pleasing tendencies and self-esteem issue, intentional or not, by commenting that his visions (and therefore, him) have not been as helpful or useful as she hoped spurring him to try for another vision and ingest more kalif. However, she is supposed to know Neil well, and that would include his inclination to people-please. He loves her deeply and wants to help her; he would not tell her no in this situation, and I believe she knows this.

I talked at length here about how I view Neil’s memory loss, which I won’t rehash, but it is worth noting much of his time with Nara during this stretch is quite hazy or he flat out doesn’t remember. The only other person who can vouch for most of this time is Nara, and she has more than enough reason to deceive, omit, or keep the truth from Neil. He has no way to tell if Nara is further exploiting or manipulating him beyond using him for his visions. If she is willing to take his ability to consent away in one circumstance, I would argue there is not much keeping her from taking it away in any other. It’s clear she does not take his needs or wellbeing into consideration with her choices.

This episode is the only interaction we see between Nara and Neil, excluding Neil’s visions. If these interactions are indicative of the baseline of their relationship, how much does she really care about Neil if she is willing to sacrifice his mental health, overall wellbeing, and ability to consent if she benefits from taking those things away? Is this same dynamic present in their intimacy? If Neil is constantly relying on her judgment because he is high and/or unable to remember, when does he have the opportunity to make his own decisions about what happens to him? What will happen when enabling his addiction is no longer beneficial for her? 

In conclusion, I think Nara is using Neil for his abilities and is exploiting him by taking away his ability to consent to what is done to him. Given this is the only canon interaction we have between the two, I wonder about the dynamic in their relationship as a whole and if it is a healthy one for Neil. It also makes me wonder in what other ways she has exploited Neil since she seems to have little regard for his needs or wellbeing.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[godshideouscreation]

[meownotgood]

work has been kicking my booty lately (someone quit so I have to pick up hours lol) but the good news is that under the influence is almost done!!!!! I only have the very last scene and the epilogue to write, I think I can finish by valentines day 💪

[scarycranegame]

so last night i said i was gonna analyze how fish is made because i think its important to understanding mouthwashing's themes a little better.. anyways here it is lol

tl;dr: how fish is made is about the illusion of choice that comes with considering a career path, and how capitalism & society take advantage of it.

analysis under the cut!!

The whole game takes place in a factory where... well, fish is made. Do I need to say anything more than that? Classic industrial horror.

The fish at the beginning who almost immediately asks you "are you going up or down?" states that "you have to make up your mind by the end of this". This seems reminiscent of how, almost immediately upon entering the world, people are pressured to choose a career (i.e., "what do you want to be when you grow up?").

"Where am I going? Don't worry about it." is a strange line; almost as if the entryway fish is trying to seem assured of its choice. It makes me think of a parent or older sibling comforting a young child regarding the uncertainty of adulthood and career choice; like a non-committal "you can always change your mind" (which, strangely, contradicts the former statement of "you'll have to make up your mind").

The speech patterns of the first fish seem to mimic an adult giggling at a child's aspirations for the future ("ha ha, are you sure?").

"The machine can't talk to you, so don't talk to it" seems like a repackaging of "life isn't fair", or the sentiment that you should just settle for what you can get (which could tie into the DLC, "The Last One and Then Another").

The fish determined to go up seems like a representation of young aspiring entrepreneurs: people who want to "make it big" and believe what's promised to them by society, and refuse to hear what anyone else has to say about corporate corruption ("I've never asked, I've never changed, I've never lied!").

"Will it hurt? Will it stop?" Seems to be Up-Fish first being angry at player fish, then doubting its choice, and then brushing off that self-doubt by simply going "oh well!"

The fish on the "Throne of Inspiration" seems to parody the contrarian, angsty artist archetype: someone who does the opposite of what they believe the "mainstream" is doing out of some illusion of "superior intelligence" (which they oftentimes treat as a "curse"), and thus ends up in the garbage (hence why it's stuck in plastic).

The scared fish seems to represent someone who's being pressured by two different parties to go two different ways (the "family" pressuring it to be more successful, whereas the "friend" pressures it to follow its passions). It's someone who's afraid of failure, or the idea that they'll make the "wrong" choice, therefore it needs someone else to make the choice for them. Alternatively, it's someone who doesn't want to choose altogether, since both choices seem to be detrimental according to it (which, ironically, is the correct assumption).

The whole sequence with the pious fish could reflect the fact that religious titles are also job titles (i.e., priest, pastor, preacher, etc.) and religion is commonly capitalized off of (ex. televangelism) or used as marketing.

The fish in the gears stating that its entrapment is a result of its rebellion seems reminiscent of the price people pay for either not working or refusing to allow themselves to be treated as "cogs in the machine". The fact that you have to press the red button in order to progress is representative of the fact that society heavily penalizes anyone who refuses to participate in the capitalist system, as "working to live" is the assumed requirement.

This could also represent a workplace accident, or "working oneself to death".

The PA system is self explanatory here: it's a common implement in factories and other industrial buildings.

The parasite and its musical number represent the romanticization of the working life: you get to feel accomplished! Buy a house and car! Provide for your wife and kids! Get money! Be successful! It's something that worms its way into you the longer you're part of the workforce, and eventually puts others' words in your mouth (which are themes further explored in The Last One and Then Another).

The placement of the room full of dead fish after the parasite sequence feels like a warning to the player, specifically if they chose "up": the pile of fish in this room seems eerily similar to the pile of fish we see in the "up" ending. Being "successful" here won't lead to a better outcome.

The "why do you deserve it" monologue seems to be about choice; as in, why does anyone deserve a choice if they're always going to be indecisive about it? "Will you be able to live with it?" and the imagery of trying again ad infinitum seems to back this up. Additionally, the imagery of "double action hinges" coupled with "coming back" and "going looking" seem to line up with the idea of changing career paths and exploring possibilities, both of which are looked down upon as "weak" here.

The eye-holes are the idea of being watched, and the anticipation of the decision you're going to make regarding career choice. They're the manifestation of the pressure the player feels to choose "up or down" the entire game.

The fish you meet at the end of the catwalk is the capitalist system itself: it reveals to you that there is no real choice, calls you "worthless", states that the outcome will not reward you for making a choice, and essentially brags that it made you think that there was a choice to begin with & asks you if you also successfully made people think there was a choice... before making itself seem innocuous again; just "a fish in an imposing room", like how corporations try to make themselves approachable.

The big fish at the end represents uneducated people who only make decisions based off of what other people tell them (hence the reference to the parasite or the Up-Fish from earlier in the game, the fact that it tallies how many fish went in either direction, and the fact that it blindly rushes to whichever direction you tell it to).

The color switch-up for up and down is interesting here, especially since the most popular choice up until this point has been up. Red and blue, in this context, seem to denote popular and unpopular, respectively. Since down is the actual most popular choice, it becomes red, and up becomes blue. "Hot and cold". They're switched back again when you go down the path at the end.

The ending blurb about the disdain for being told that others relate to your pain is actually disdain for how people recruit others to work. "USP" stands for "unique selling point", and is used to refer to the sentiment that "you aren't alone" in your suffering. This text blurb is about how vulnerable people, often financially unstable or insecure regarding career choice, are preyed upon by corporations (which also lines up with The Last One and Then Another).

"Down" represents following one's passion, i.e., the arts. Your presentation is aesthetically pleasing, but you've been eaten by those "bigger" and "more successful" than you. This may also be a pun on the term "starving artist", since the fish becomes food in this ending, but I feel it represents how artists are only sold well after they're dead.

"Up" represents chasing success: you end up somewhere with tons of others hoping to make it big, forming a tower, but eventually you all crush each other and end up slowly dying as a result while under the impression that you'll be "bigger" and "higher up" any second now. The description of the pile reflects the apparent misery of corporate jobs, referring to the experience as one of constant conflict, excessive waste, and pointless endeavors that strip you of your sense of self for the sake of growing larger.

"Oily" seems to mean "smart". It's how the Down-Fish in the beginning refers to itself, it's how the big fish at the end refers to both you and itself, and it's how the "down" ending refers to the sardines in the sandwich (which, if my theory that the "down" ending is a reference to the stereotypical art career is correct, means that these fish were smarter than the rest).

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

i think i finally realized why ive been feeling so damn depressed lately again

sorry for writing this here. im really hurting actually. im not good. i feel a bit helpless too. idk who to talk to bc i dont want to burden anyons and i donf feel like anything could console me right now

Like. fuck me man. thanks for saving me but. why the hell are you not here. i dont want to do this without you. i hate only being able to remember you. i was supposed to grow old with you, not without you.

And. honestly. even with all this bullshit i say here, all the endless times i spend trying to write down my feelings, abt you, about all the pain ive felt my life, it doesnt get better. not at all. and no words, no poetry takes it away and i truly feel like nobody will ever truly understand how suffocated i felt all my life.

and i want to change thanks to you but. i dont know. nothing's satisfying enough.

no matter what, i truly only feel great when im in that daydream like world you created.

and these past days ive been thinking a lot that. i really wouldnt mind dying right now. not at all. because at least i know what happiness feels like. and i want to stay in that state. probably, even in this life your music will bring me happiness, but i want to be trapped in it.

im tired of being so unseen, and even when im seen, im hurting. but i dont know whats hurting. i think im just really tired thats all.

and. ye. i feel brave tbh. i still havent posted my video to instagram, bc im not brave for that. i dont know. and i feel like a hypocrite bc everything is true that i wrote there but at the same time these are my thoughts currently

in a long while i looked up suicide methods again. i feel so hopeful, but im not really sure if really for the future. jm sorry this is probably alarming. i will probably not kill myself but. idk. im not sure actually. i dknt know what to say. i wasnt cut out for this wordly shit.i feel unlovable but even if im loved, i donf want to be. i dont want anything. just let me stsy in this quiet place snd just. disappear. i wouldnt want my family to hurt if i die but i wont know about it anyways. idk man. i feel strongly i could die calmly this time and thats nice. bc 6 years ago i was terrified, and hurt. but now im content and kind of ready idk man. its not a terrible feeling, its a "this is it, it was nice while it lasted" ig.

there are no clouds in my head actually. i truly dont feel like im thinking irrationally, i feel like this would just be like. the end goal i was looking for. to feel true love once. it was nice.

no goodbye yet bc idk how id kms even if i do. But ill tell u guys if i found something.

[likeadevils]

[shiraishi--kanade]

NOOOOOOO I KISSED YOUR BIRTHDAY????? NOOOOOOO JAYYY NOOOOO

Keri I am begging you don't worry it's fine, I don't consider it an important day anyway haha. But also um, interesting typo /lh

[paozudraws]

these were the icons I have for pico isn't he so pookieful...