#TW Insomnia

[nyrandrea]

Restless

Summary: As your sleepless nights start to catch up with you, you turn to a certain vampire who might just be able to help.

Also available to read here on A03!

Word Count - 2.7k

Enjoy!

xxx

Sleep had always been something of an illusion to you. 

Each night, as the world succumbed to slumber, you lay in your bedroll, with eyes wide open, gazing at the twinkling stars of the endless night sky. It was as if the world had pressed pause, leaving you to confront the shadows of your own thoughts. Your insomnia was a relentless adversary, a cruel warden that held you captive in the prison of wakefulness. 

The nights stretched on endlessly, and as the hours ticked by, your exhaustion grew more profound.  

Your mind raced with thoughts, a relentless carousel of worries, hopes, and regrets. You would toss and turn, your body tangled in the sheets, seeking elusive comfort. Come morning, the birds seemed to mock you, a constant reminder of the passage of time that slipped away while you lay wide awake.

By the time everyone else was up and refreshed from a good night’s sleep, you were still lying flat on your back, your bloodshot eyes stinging as you stared up at the pale morning sky. 

“Darling, it’s time to get up,” Astarion said, standing above you with hands on hips, his expression somewhat bemused. “Honestly, you’re so lazy, just like Gale.” 

He muttered that last part, glaring towards the wizard’s tent as a rumbling snore emanated from it and echoed throughout the camp. The vampire suddenly smirked, and you rolled your head to follow his gaze, only to see Karlach sneaking towards the tent with her hands out, ready to pounce. 

The snoring was cut short with a high-pitched scream, followed by a roar of laughter, and a lot of cursing on Gale’s part. 

“Good, at least that’s one of you up,” Astarion said, turning back towards you. “Now, are you going to follow suit? Or am I going to have to stoop to Karlach’s tactics? Brash as they are.” 

“Hey! My tactics are quite refined, thank you very much,” Karlach rebuked, stabbing a thumb in Gale’s direction, the poor man stumbling to find his cloak. “Got him up, didn’t I?” 

“That you did, darling.” 

“I’m up,” you muttered hoarsely, wincing as you slowly pushed yourself up off the ground, your body feeling about a hundred years old. “I’m up.” 

“Oh dear,” Astarion grimaced. “Looks like someone didn’t get their beauty sleep last night, hm?” 

His tone was light but there was an almost... concerned note to it, as if he was prodding. You felt a pang in your chest; he only spoke the truth; your eyes, once bright and expressive, now bore the heavy bags and dark circles of sleep deprivation. Your skin had dulled and paled considerably over the past few weeks, and your hair was dishevelled and unkempt.  

You almost certainly looked as bad as you felt. 

Part of you wanted to blame the group: Astarion for nearly sucking you dry of your blood, Karlach for being so damn loud all the time, Gale for making demands of you every ten minutes, Lae’zel for very nearly causing fights everywhere she went with her brashness, Shadowheart for her condescending demeanour and Wyll for craving validation from you every time you had a chat with him. The only sane person here seemed to be Halsin, and even he was starting to grate on your nerves for just looking so damn well-rested and perky.

The other part of you wanted to cry, to apologise for being such a failure and run away into the woods to never be seen or heard from again and just succumb to whatever fate the mind-flayer parasite had in store for you. 

Instead, you forced a smile, and lied.  

“Just had a nightmare, is all.” 

“Hm,” Astarion hummed, a simmering concern etched into the lines of his face. In that moment you felt a soft push in your mind, and the tadpole behind your eye squirmed as if responding to something. The atmosphere was heavy with unspoken emotions, a palpable tension that seemed to hang between you both.  

It was only when you winced that the vampire averted his gaze, and the unseen force retreated from your mind. 

“Terribly sorry,” Astarion said as you rubbed your head. “It would seem that my worm wanted to talk with yours; perhaps it was... concerned. Ooh, do you think that they’re best friends?” 

“I doubt it,” you muttered, a little annoyed at his giddiness. “Maybe tell yours to mind its own business next time.” 

“Of course, apologies again,” he said with that smooth voice and puppy-dog eyes of his, it was enough to make your irritation melt away. “But should a nightmare ever arise in that darling head of yours again, just know that you can seek me out.” 

You blinked, a little surprised at the open invitation. You couldn’t quite tell if it was genuine; it was always hard to tell with him. The only times you had ever been intimate was whenever he sought you out for a bit of casual fun. He seemed confused as to why you never wanted to initiate, but you tried to explain that while you enjoyed your time together, you never wanted to invade his privacy as you respected that camp time was everyone’s chance for a bit of peace and were entitled to such.  

This only seemed to confuse him further. 

Still, this had to be a big step for him, to ask you to his tent -his sanctuary- and you didn’t want to seem ungrateful. 

“I-I will,” you stutter. “Thank you.” 

“Anytime, my dear,” Astarion smiled. “Now, shall we see what chaos today brings for us? It’s been far too long since we’ve had to kill anyone.” 

You bumped his shoulder playfully. “We killed that group of bandits only yesterday.” 

He returned the gesture with a sly smirk. “Exactly.” 

During the day, you continued your journey with a fragile facade of normalcy, sipping on coffee like it was the elixir of life, desperately trying to stay awake. Your interactions with others were tinged with a weary detachment, as if you were viewing the world through a foggy pane of glass.  

Emotions played hide-and-seek within your very soul. Frustration lurked just beneath the surface, ready to erupt at the slightest provocation. An innocent quip or question would trigger an unexpected wellspring of tears, followed by nervous laughter, leaving everyone in the group perplexed. You merely brushed it off as the tadpole messing with your head, but even that raised a few eyebrows as nobody else was acting up—it was a good thing you were persuasive. 

You tried to avoid battles wherever and whenever you could, opting to take the longer roads or attempting to sweet-talk your way out of a sticky situation. However, some fights were unavoidable, and this was when your sleep deprivation was really put on show for everyone to see; your movements were sluggish, enemies were able to get more hits on you and you had to be helped back up to your feet on more than one occasion.  

The others insisted on setting up camp a little earlier than usual so you could rest and, despite your trying to tell them that you were fine and wanted to keep going because these tadpoles weren’t going to remove themselves anytime soon, they wouldn’t take no for an answer.  

So, here you were again, on your back, staring up at the stars. Another night of having an existential crisis while everyone else slumbered on peacefully. Rinse and repeat. 

You had tried everything to conquer your insomnia. Experimented with herbal teas, soothing music, you had even consulted a sleep specialist back in Baldur’s Gate who prescribed a cocktail of medications. But the battle persisted, night after night. 

Sitting up and rubbing your dry, stinging eyes, you decided to try something else. 

As you crept through the camp, you were careful not to wake anyone else up as you approached Astarion’s tent, tentatively peeking in through the flap before reprimanding yourself; even though he had invited you, boundaries were important, you couldn’t just go barging in. So, you gently knocked on one of the wooden beams that supported the tent. 

“Astarion...?” You softly whispered, waiting for a response. 

Only silence followed. 

You knocked again, wincing slightly at the louder noise you made. For a moment you thought about abandoning this whole silly idea and going back to staring into space for the next eight hours, but desperation made you persistent. 

Mercifully, you heard a faint shuffle come from inside the tent. 

“Come in,” Astarion’s husky, muffled voice answered. 

Nervously, you slipped inside, and a wave of warmth immediately washed over your face as you were greeted with the sight of a bare-chested Astarion sitting cross-legged on his bedroll. You were grateful he at least had pants on, otherwise you would have been out of there like a shot. 

A mischievous smile spread across his face as he watched you squirm uncomfortably. “Whatever is the matter, darling?” His lips formed a perfect pout. “Come to ask me for a little cuddle to chase the bad dreams away?” 

Your nostrils flared as you glowered down at him while he smirked smugly back up, because of course he would tease you about something like this. You should have known that he wasn’t going to take you seriously. 

“Forget it,” you said, making a sharp turn to re-open the tent flap. “I-I never should have come here, I’ll just... leave you be.”  

You missed the flash of panic on his face as he quickly got to his knees to reach out and grab your wrist before you could make it out.  

“Wait!” He said, stopping you in your tracks. “I’m sorry, come back in, please?” 

You slowly turned your head. 

“I promise not to tease you.” 

Begrudgingly, you allowed him to take your hand and escort you back inside, guiding you to sit down beside him on the floor. 

“You’re having trouble sleeping again, I presume?” 

Nodding your head, you squeezed the bridge of your nose and sighed, trying to swallow down the overwhelming urge to break down in front of him and cry in pure frustration.  

“I... I’ve been struggling with insomnia for a while now.” 

Astarion scoffed. “Well now, that’s a revelation.” 

You had half a mind to slap him. 

“Sorry,” he said, holding up his hands in a placating manner. “No teasing, of course, but come on darling, it was pretty obvious from the start.” 

“Thanks,” you mumbled, your gaze cast downward, wondering why you even came here in the first place if he was just going to insult you. 

“You’re still beautiful,” he said, softly caressing your jaw to angle your face towards him. “Very beautiful indeed.” 

Your heart thumped wildly as the tip of your nose brushed his, and you would have crumpled into his well-tuned act of seduction if it were not for one burning question suddenly on your mind. 

“How do you do it?"

“I- do what?”  

“Elves don’t sleep, right?” You said, blinking curiously. “How do you... not sleep?” 

“We uh... meditate, darling. Wait, how do you not know this?” he asked, pulling back with his eyebrow raised. “You must have seen me doing it at some stage or another.” 

“...I always just thought you pretended to sleep,” you hummed in thought. “Now that I think about it, the way you lay down was always kind of strange looking.” 

He snorted a laugh at your brutal honesty, and feeling a jab of guilt, you tried to back-track on your word vomit. 

“Sorry! Um… no offence?” 

"None taken, darling,” he said, waving a nonchalant hand. “I can see why my eloquent poses would look strange to you, but for elves, meditation is a common practice. Helps us to… calm down; be in the moment, as it were.” 

A comfortable silence fell between you.

“Could you show me?”  

Astarion gave you a questionable look. “You want me to show you how to meditate?” 

You nod vigorously and cross your legs with your arms resting on your knees to show that you’re serious. It takes you a moment to figure out which fingers were supposed to touch together but you get there eventually.  

With a bemused smile, the vampire shrugs. “Alright, I've had stranger requests.” 

You wanted to question that but put a pin in it for another time. 

"Are you ready?" Astarion asked. You nod, your heart fluttering with both anticipation and trust. “Now, clear your head.” 

You give him a dry look. 

He rolls his eyes back. “Yes, admittedly a little hard, what with the little residents living up there but just... trust me, alright? Close your eyes.” 

You complied, and Astarion began to guide you, his words soft and rhythmic, like a gentle lullaby. "Breathe in deeply," he said, his own breath aligning with yours. "Feel the air fill your lungs, expanding your chest, and exhale slowly, try to let go of any tension." 

You followed his instructions, your breath matching his like a perfectly choreographed dance. With each inhale and exhale, you felt a growing sense of calm washing over. 

"Thoughts may arise, like passing clouds," Astarion murmured. "Acknowledge them but let them drift away. Return your focus to your breath.” 

You found yourself navigating the currents of your thoughts with newfound ease, like a sailor guiding a boat through calm waters. The more you let go, the more profound your sense of inner stillness grew. You felt the weight of your worries begin to dissolve. The burdens of your leadership, of the mind-flayer tadpoles and the problems that came with it seemed to retreat into the distance, leaving you with a newfound clarity. 

"Good," Astarion whispered. "Now, focus on your body. Notice any tension, any discomfort. Let it go with each breath. Feel your body becoming lighter, more at ease." 

Minutes passed like hours, and the tent seemed to fill with an ethereal stillness. You and Astarion remained connected through your breath, it was as if time itself had become irrelevant, and you were both suspended in a moment of pure existence. 

You could feel the tension in your shoulders and neck melting away. It was as if the cares of the world were simply slipping through your fingers. 

Slipping... 

Slipping...  

“...Darling? Are you-? Oh.” 

Astarion’s eyes widen, and he winces a little when your head falls into his shoulder. He catches you gently by the arms, so you don’t slip and go face-first into his lap; it was a delicious thought but for another time, when you were conscious and ready.  

But right now, he isn’t quite sure what to do with you. He certainly knows he can’t hold you like this all night; it would be uncomfortable for both of you. His eyebrows crease as he frowns while he tries to slowly lower you to the ground. 

To absolutely no avail; unconsciously you end up pulling him in closer. 

“Oh, for Gods's sake,” the vampire huffs incredulously. “What am I, some sort of glorified teddy bear?” 

Half-asleep and still nestled into Astarion’s chest, you mumble something incoherent in response, your breath warm against his skin. You snuggle even closer, your head burrowing into the crook of his neck. 

For a moment, Astarion felt a flicker of irritation, his desire for a good night's rest warring with his affection for you. He yearned to stretch out, to find the perfect position that would allow him the bliss of undisturbed meditation. But as he looked down at the peaceful expression on your face, all traces of weariness and anxiety erased, he just couldn't bring himself to disturb you. 

Reluctantly, he wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer still. He could feel the gentle rise and fall of your breath, the slow, rhythmic cadence of sleep. The warmth of your body against his own gradually seeped through the cracks in his defences, and his irritation gave way to an overwhelming tenderness. 

In that moment, he realised that the inconvenience of being your living pillow was a small price to pay for the privilege of holding you close, of being the one you sought comfort in. As you drifted further into slumber, Astarion closed his eyes and surrendered to the serenity of the night, the gentle weight of your devotion for each other enveloping you both, anchoring him in the moment and reminding him of the beauty in life's simple, sweet sacrifices. 

xxx 

Yyyyyeah I know this one has the same beats as 'Everything's Fine' but what can I say? I'm a sucker for begrudgingly soft Astarion ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Let me know what y'all think!

Links to my other Astarion works

'Everything's Fine'

Request - Astarion kills everyone in his path to get to you

[ramblingoak]

Naps With Copia

Nap #6: A Much Needed Nap

~ Naps With Copia series masterpost ~

For @papas-ghoulette 💙

Papa Emeritus IV x Reader

These are all stand alone chapters so you do not have to read one before the other! This series came from my post about wanting to nap with Copia all around the abbey. The stories will all have gender neutral readers and soft Copia naps.

Warnings: Reader has insomnia and Copia has the solution, sfw, 800 words (thank you to @gothdaddyissues for the dividers!)

It had been another long night.

Another night of tossing and turning, of too much thinking.  On nights like that it was like your body just wouldn’t relax.  It didn’t matter what you did to try to calm down, to try to relax, nothing ever worked.  You were doomed to just lay there and watch the minutes pass, to watch the night become morning.  To watch the sun start shining in through the windows to greet another day.

Another day of trying to function on no sleep.

You stared down at your desk once more but the numbers on the budget paperwork were uncooperative and blurry.  With a groan you let your head drop onto the wood, trying to keep the frustrated tears at bay.  It wasn’t even lunch yet, you had practically an entire day left and not a single thing done.  And it wasn’t guaranteed you’d get any sleep tonight either.  Sometimes your insomnia lasted a few days in a row before you finally could get any decent rest. You shook your head against the wood while you mumbled under your breath.

“This is awful.”

“The budget usually is.”  With a startled gasp you sat up, blinking your eyes up at Papa as he stood in front of your desk.  There was a soft smile on his face when he spoke again,  “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing Papa.  I’m just tired.”

“Ah, well you’ll have to get a good night’s rest tonight then, eh?”  You couldn’t help but snort, shaking your head and mumbling under your breath again.  People always acted like sleeping was easy.  “What did you say?”

“I said…I said ‘fat chance of that’.  Papa.”  You winced, afraid to look up at his face.  It wasn’t a good idea to mouth off to the head of the church.  A man you also considered to be a dear friend.  “Copia, I’m sorry.  I’m just tired.  Very, very tired.”

He started to walk around your desk and you froze, worried he was actually mad at you.  Instead he knelt down at your side, placing his hands on the arm of your chair while he looked up into your face. 

“I’ve had many sleepless nights myself, I know how hard it can be.”  Your eyes filled with tears at how compassionate he was.  Copia smiled, reaching up to swipe a few of them off your cheek with his gloved hand.  “You know what we’re going to do?”

“What?”

He grinned as he stood up, taking hold of your hands and pulling you out of your chair.  You stumbled after him as he first went to your office door and flicked the lock before he led you over to the big couch at the side of the room.  Copia cleared up the random books and paperwork you had haphazardly stacked there before he situated the throw pillows at one end.

“Take a nap with me.”

“Copia, no!  There’s too much to do, the budget needs to be finalized this week or Sister Imperator will have my head.”

“Have you done anything with the budget today besides stare at it?”  When you crossed your arms over your chest he nodded, stripping his jacket off and then slipping out of his shoes before he stretched out across the couch.  “Come on, come on.”

You stared at him, your brain trying to catch up with the last few minutes.  This was not how you expected your day to go but you were definitely not going to turn down a nap with Copia.  Your shoes quickly joined his on the floor and you gently tucked yourself in next to him, your head finding a spot on his shoulder.  Neither one of you spoke as you both got comfortable, settling in together as best you could on the old couch.  A hint of his cologne touched your nose and it seemed all at once your body and mind relaxed.  You practically melted against him and his arms became tighter around you in response.

Copia reached up and pulled at the blanket you had draped along the back, covering the both of you as best he could.  The warmth of that and of his body relaxed you even further and soon you were struggling to keep your eyes open.  You found yourself wanting to stay awake and revel in the feeling of being so close to him, of feeling how much he cared about you.  Your voice was a little shaky when you spoke but you couldn’t stop yourself.

“Thank you, Copia.”

“No need to thank me, I could use one too.”  He ran a hand up and down your back, the simple action the final puzzle piece for you to fall asleep.  You felt a ghost of a kiss on your head before sleep finally, finally embraced you.  “Rest now, for as long as you need.”

~ Naps With Copia series masterpost ~

If you'd like to be added/removed from the tag list (or if I accidentally left your name off) of this fic or any of my others please leave a comment or send me a dm! Thank you 💙

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[limbos-chaos]

eh who needs sleep when i have you?

[gaymaramada]

HCs: Puss dealing with anxiety post-TLW (ft. insomnia)

As someone with GAD, anxiety is the worst at night. Falling asleep and/or staying asleep can be an absolute nightmare (no pun intended). That being said, how would our favorite fearless hero handle such a situation?

In the daytime, when Puss begins to feel that familiar tightness in his chest, distractions are everywhere. Perrito rambling on about god knows what, Kitty offering to spar with him, etc. But in the dark stillness of the night, when everyone else is asleep, there are fewer things the cat can comfort himself with. If he can’t fall asleep, he gets frustrated, which then starts the domino effect as the minutes turn to hours and he still can’t sleep.

With every minute he spends practically forcing himself to go to sleep, his nerves shoot more and more. Suddenly, he’s shaking almost violently, his body feeling cold yet no blanket is enough to warm him. His mind screams at him that something’s wrong, that he needs to get up, but he’s so, so tired and his body just doesn’t have the strength. He just wants to sleep.

One night it becomes too much to bear, and without thinking, Puss throws himself out of bed and steps out onto the main deck of their ship, desperately hoping to get some air. His body wracks with tremors and his eyes are wide but so heavy, but the idea of going back to his bed makes him want to throw up.

He’s not sure how long he’s out there, mindlessly pacing and wringing his paws, when he hears a soft, “Puss?”

His head whips around to see Kitty, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she walks over, “¿Qué te pasa?”

Puss wants to lie, the impulse familiar to him, but he’s just too exhausted to think of a fib right now, and instead holds himself pathetically as he shakes like a leaf, “…can’t sleep,”

There’s a moment of quiet, and then Kitty takes his paws into her own, stilling them to the best of her ability. When Puss meets her face, there’s warmth in her expression, and even more so: understanding.

Kitty takes him back into the cabin, and the next thing he knows, he’s lying with her in her bed. He almost protests, telling her he already tried that, it did nothing, until she presses her chest against his back and wraps her arms around him, purring softly.

And Puss is left to assume that the woman is some kind of enchantress, because the way her warmth envelops his body, chasing away the tremors until he finally stops shaking, is nothing short of magical.

Perrito hops up to join them, spinning around a few times before lying down with a deep sigh, his chin resting on Puss’s thigh.

And now, with his heartbeat finally slowing down — with Kitty’s purrs and murmured whispers of comfort and Perrito’s gentle weight on his leg, his tiny body moving up and down with every breath he takes — Puss’ mind begins to pleasantly cloud over, any and all worries that he may have had already long forgotten. He’s only lying down for five minutes before he finally slips into sleep.

[absolute-flaming-trash]

For my fellow readers with sleeping issues.

Pairing: Yandere!Mahito x Reader

SFW

Word Count: 2′557

Warnings: Yandere, Stalking, Sleep deprivation, Insomnia, Mindbreak if you squint, Noncon touching, Implied kidnapping.

“I swear to fucking god...”

You grabbed the bottle of melatonin off your nightstand and held it closer to your face, as if it would magically change the outcome of your current events.

You were tired. Painfully so. Insomnia was that bitch in your life that dangled the promise of sleep just out of reach, and would laugh at each and every failed attempt you’d make to get it.

The instructions on the off-white label were practically memorized by you at this point, but you still read them anyway on the off chance you had missed something.

‘Allow 1 tablet to dissolve under the tongue once per day or as directed by a physician. Recommended to reset circadian rhythm and for those with delayed sleep phase disorder’

You threw the bottle at the wall in frustration, ignoring the rain of pills that showered down after impact. You’d clean it up later.

It wasn’t enough. The “Extra Strength” claim on the label was nothing more than marketing bullshit since you had already taken three pills, and they had done fuck all. The tears of said frustration weren’t far behind, but you quickly wiped them away with the back of your hand. You were tired as hell, yeah, but nothing worth crying over just yet. It had only been about…

You counted the hours on your fingers.

...About a day and a half.

You frowned. That couldn’t be right.

You did it again, only to arrive at the same answer.

“God damnit!”

Your aggravation was emphasized with the slam of your bedroom door behind you. You were still in PJ’s, but fuck it. It was 3am and hardly anyone would be out anyways. You were going for a walk, since maybe that would actually do something for you.

You didn’t even bother to grab a jacket on your way out the front door.

The air was warm this time of year, despite it being so late… or early, depending on how you wanted to view it.

The city and all its concrete soaked up the heat from the sun during the daytime, and it would radiate it back out once the sun had set - allowing for a 24 hour rotation of heat that made you feel like a fucking rotisserie.

You smirked a little to yourself. Another thing to blame your sleep troubles on.

Like you suspected, there was hardly anyone out. The most activity you saw was at the back door at bars where the employees were locking up for the night,  or at restaurants, where the work day had only just begun

You had no destination in mind as you walked. Thinking about one required too much effort, and you didn’t have the energy to contemplate such a thing. Besides, what good would it do to have one anyways if the point was simply to wander? Having one would make no sense.

After what felt like an hour, the ache in your feet had begun to override the blissful nothingness previously occupying your mind, and you leaned to rest against a stone wall that had been on your left side for the past little while.

Only then you noticed the significant drop of temperature in the air, and you looked around.

You weren’t in the city anymore.

At least not obviously. You were surrounded by vast amounts of green - illuminated only by the dull yellow lights that lined the paved walkway you stood on. It made the foliage that wasn’t touched by said light feel that much darker.

But it wasn’t just the lighting that made the atmosphere shift in the way it did.

No, something felt off. Similar to the sensation of being in a government building you had absolutely no business being in - but far more sinister. Goosebumps peppered your skin once you realized what it was.

Silence. Complete and utter silence.

Even the small ravine next to you seemed to make no noise.

You turned on your heel and headed back the way you came.

“Leaving so soon?”

A shriek accompanied the startled jolt of terror that shot up your spine. You whipped around expecting to find someone, only to be met with the darkness of the path.

“Hello?”

Nothing. Not even crickets answered you.

You chuckled nervously, not sure of what to make of your situation. You knew sleep deprivation, if pushed long enough, could result in hallucinations, but you didn’t think you were that far gone just yet. That was only supposed to happen after two days without sleep.

A fact, you realized with growing horror, that could already be a reality.

You resumed walking - a few steps backwards at first before you turned and faced the proper way to accommodate the hurry in your steps.

You weren’t sure of exactly where you were, but if you followed the walkway it would undoubtedly lead you to a better lit area where you could get your bearings and figure out a way back home.

Your hands made a motion to enter a pocket that didn’t exist, and you were reminded of the fact you had neither brought your jacket with you, nor your phone.

God, you were an idiot.

“You’re going the wrong way.~”

Okay, what the fuck.

You stopped again and listened as hard as you could despite the roar of blood in your ears. The temptation to call out again to the voice was there, but you immediately thought the better of it.

Not wanting to stick around longer than necessary, you began to speed-walk..

The path felt endless. The foliage you passed felt the same, and the bridge you were about to go under felt way too familiar. A part of you hoped the familiarity was due to having seen it on your way in, and not because you were actually lost.

Eerie laughter from somewhere in the darkness did absolutely nothing to ease the palpable fear crawling in your skin, and a whimper slipped past your lips.

That was definitely not a hallucination.

The bridge felt akin to a checkpoint once you were under it. It was by no means safe, rather safer. You felt a lot less exposed to the trees - the iron supports acting as a comforting barrier to the outside world; even if logic dictated you were no less exposed than before.

Your slowed steps echoed quietly off the metal as you weighed the pros and cons of venturing further down the path. The unknown danger was by no means gone, but the promise of the coming dawn along with the temporary, albeit probably false, sense of security tempted you to stay put.

You cautiously poked your head out from the safety of the bridge and listened again - waiting for more laughter - or anything else, really.

“Where the fuck are you…”

“Here.”

You froze. Deer in the headlights as you slowly turned to face the owner of the voice no more than three feet behind you.

There was something so incredibly unsettling about the way he looked at you. He was smiling, yes, but there was something so Uncanny Valley about it that it had all instincts screaming at you to do one thing, and one thing only.

Run.

“Hey.” He said, far too casually.

Your eyes flicked over his appearance - lingering much longer than intended on the numerous stitches that ran across his face.

When you accidentally locked eyes with him, you gulped.

“I don’t know what you think you’re doing.” You began, “But I want you to leave me alone.”

The stranger raised his eyebrows, his three sections of pale blue hair falling to the side as he tilted his head curiously.

“What, no ‘hello’ back? That’s quite rude of you.”

You laughed, but there was no humour in the sound whatsoever. “My apologies. Please leave me alone.”

“I heard you the first time.” His expression fell into one of boredom while he flicked a piece of lint from his shirt. He clicked his tongue when his eyes came back to yours. “You’re out late, aren’t you?”

Your smile was all nerves. “I suppose.”

He hummed in acknowledgement and continued to look at you. Eventually he bowed ever so slightly towards you, but you couldn’t help but feel it was completely ingenuine.

“My name is Mahito.”

You smiled thinly. “Pleasure.”

He grinned and resumed his full height with a hand on his hip. “I didn’t catch your name.”

“That’s because I didn’t give it.”

The lull of silence that fell between you was nothing short of awful, and you flinched when he finally laughed. It was sharp as it echoed across the underbelly of the bridge.

“Well, aren't you cute?”

“Not really.”

Mahito ignored your answer and leaned in closer, if that were even possible. “I think you are.”

You felt like you were going to be sick on the spot. “Thanks…” You cleared your throat awkwardly. “But if you’d pardon me, I’d like to go home now.”

You went to step around him, but his movements mirrored yours - keeping the path behind him blocked.

“Now? We only just started talking.”

His exaggerated pout made you feel a nauseating combination of pissed off and afraid. “Yes. Like you said, it’s very late.”

“So why are you out here?”

“That’s my business.”

“Trouble sleeping?”

Time stood still after he said that, and the anxiety must have shown clearly on your face because his smirk only widened. “I read humans have issues with that.”

Humans. Not ‘people’. Humans.

Your brow furrowed and you moistened your lips before you spoke.

“We do.” You said slowly, “But what makes you think I do?”

“You threw your sleeping pills against the wall, I’d say that’s a clear sign you’re still having issues.”

If the world didn’t stand still before, it certainly did now.

Unlike before, he wasn’t smirking. He said it as it was - a fact. Neutral expression and everything. It only served to make the drop of your heart into your stomach feel like freefall.

You opened your mouth to speak, but the words came out as a stutter.

Mahito watched your face the entire time you struggled with yourself and used the moment to nonchalantly walk closer to you - debris crunching quietly under the soles of his bare feet as he did.

“...Still?”

He grinned and reached out to push a strand of your hair out of your face with a single finger. “Bottle says to see a doc after you use it for more than four weeks, I’d say you’re pushing it.”

You flinched back from him before he could touch you, repulsed. “Who the fuck are you?”

“I told you, I’m Mahito.” He sighed and looked skyward for a moment, mumbling to himself. “Although I suppose sleep deprivation can result in problems with short-term memory…”

The tautness in your chest increased, and each breath became more difficult to suck in. It was all too much at once, and his complete dismissal of how goddamn creepy he was being only served to add to the fear.

He had been watching you, and clearly had been for a while. A fact only made worse by the knowledge that you hadn’t the faintest idea the entire time it had been happening - however long that had been.

“Did-” You cringed at the way your voice caught in your throat. The croak-like noise brought Mahito’s attention back to you immediately. “Did you follow me here?”

He cocked his head again to the side, “You shouldn’t ask questions you know the answer to, it’s not polite.”

You wanted to fucking cry.

You didn’t know what to do. Honest to god, you had absolutely no idea what to do or say anymore after a response like that because what was there to do?

You were alone. In the middle of a place you had never been with a person you had never met - one who was clearly out of their fucking mind.

Mahito giggled and he reached out to touch you again. “Your soul is trembling, am I making you nervous?”

Frankly you had never been more afraid in your life, and something in your brain snapped when his fingers made contact with your skin.

You ran.

Fight or flight was one hell of a bodily response. Gone was the tightness in your chest and back was the roar of blood in your ears as you sprinted down the path. The boost of adrenaline served its purpose - allowing your muscles to take on the inordinate amount of strain required to get you as far away from danger as possible.

A prospect that you didn’t expect to succeed as much as it did.

There was a large part of you that expected to get hit from behind - to go from hauling ass to eating shit in a matter of seconds, but it never happened.

No, what did occur was far, far worse.

There was an earth-shattering crash before the world disappeared. You had enough time to slap your palms over your ears before the scenery around you was literally pushed out by impossibly large, ink-like hands.

Whatever hands didn’t wall off your only chances of escape were used to pull you into a kingdom of darkness.

When you looked up, you didn’t see stars in this warped cosmos - only thousands of hands linked together in seemingly random patterns. There was no logic, only the horrific truth that solidified itself the more these hands clasped themselves together above your head.

You were trapped.

Even still, a part of you wondered if you were really here. If this was truly something happening to you of all people, and not some sick, horrendous nightmare conjured by several doses of melatonin at once.

That would make the most sense, wouldn’t it? That you were trapped in your mind rather than whatever horrors in front of your eyes - and it would only take a pinch of your skin along with  the will to wake up to set yourself free.

But any hope of that was shattered by the call of your name and the feeling of a hand on your shoulder.

He knew your name. Of course he did. It would be incredibly stupid to think he wouldn’t if he had really been following you for as long as he alluded to. He had only been playing dumb beforehand so you would offer up your name to him freely.

On top of everything else, he was a fucking hypocrite.

You let him turn you freely - offering little resistance as he had you face him once more, and he cupped your face in his hands. You closed your eyes, unable to deal with the intensity of the blue and gray staring into your soul.

“Normally I hate this, but I have to thank you.” He murmured, brushing a thumb across your cheek. “The pills were only meant to wear you down. Coming out here… you made this easy for me.”

The burn of hot tears behind your lids worked as an incentive to keep them shut, and you bit your cheek hard - hoping that the taste of your own blood would keep you grounded enough not to break in front of whatever creature that held you in its grasp.

But unlike Mahito, you were only human.

And you tasted salt when cold lips pressed to your own.

© absolute-flaming-trash 2023. Do not repost, modify, copy, or claim.

Taglist: @sai-my-beloved, @we-are-so-close, @biby-24k, @forcefulkitten​, @siphite​, @meefy​, @liquorishred​, @kateaesthetic​ 

[movedto-bunny-lovers]

Imagine your f/o cuddling and soothing you when you have insomnia. They hold you while you’re anxious, and pull you back into their arms gently every time you come back to bed from getting up. They don’t mind that you’re a bad sleeper, and they’re happy to stay up with you if you want, or just to cuddle with you and let you watch them sleep.

proship/comship DNI

[multicolour-ink]

TW: mental health

TW: mentions of depression

I'm sorry guys. I've just not been feeling well mentally for a good while.

Nothing serious, I promise you! 🙏 It's just that I have bouts and even long periods of time where I'm just exhausted and can't find the mental willpower to do anything. I never feel rested. I never have any energy. I never want to take part in anything. I'm just in a constant state of tiredness and depression.

But I am going to do something about it. I reached out and have an appointment so they can find out if there is anything wrong. Honestly, I think it really is just down to not enough sleep. The issue is that I can never get in a mental state of peace.

I'm sorry if this is a lot to take in. I'm actually quite scared, but I'm even more frightened of telling my family about what I'm going through and what I'm doing; only because I'm scared of them worrying.

[glitchesartstudio]

@redisloser

@shinypastels

[majorstumbles]

Toothache

Mirror mirror why do you show

The train that can’t be coming that slow

I feel the rumbling under my feet, in my bones and in my teeth

Mirror mirror why do you lie

Showing me a girl when I can’t fly

I feel the ache, the tears and all I’ve ate

Mirror mirror why have you forsaken me

Why don’t you show me what I could see

I see your cracks and blood and flack

Mirror mirror what have you done

What can I do to make us one

I see them here, dead and free

Why do I see them in your face, but only death stares in my place

Hi! Op Loki here in the explain-inator! Welcome those who are curious enough to step foot into the ‘keep reading’ box! I suffer from insomnia and occasional hallucinations during said insomnia episodes, which often can be somewhat useful in helping me pinpoint which part of my mental state caused this little bout of insomnia. Recently (for when I wrote this) I’ve been suffering from bodily autonomy issues due to my education’s strict policies and many people demanding my time and effort for their own conveniences. I usually have a hard time saying no to these people because they’re usually closer to me, and it got to the point where it was like ‘hold on a minute, this is *deadname*, not Legion/Loki’. When I thought about myself. And, well, the hallucination wanted to highlight the unstoppable passage of time, my autonomy issues, and the inherent dysphoria that comes with being LGBT in general. And, to do that, it chose time, mirrors, and vampires. But who am I to question- would this be Apollo? Thanks, Apollo, ik I’m still new to worship, but this helped. A lot. And Ares, for giving me the strength to fight.

[mrfilippa]

How about some aran headcanons since you're the aran guy?

~ fan-mans

Ehehehehehe!

I am a bit late, but here you are! ( trigger warnings ⚠️ insomnia, lack of hygiene and hints of negligence) I worked on this headcanons for days!!

Behaviour

Aran sleeps very bad and he usually do exercise when he cannot sleep or when he wakes up too early. That's why at the WVBA gym he doesn't do anything except messing around and pranking.

He is very loud even in a normal situation. He likes being at the centre of attention. He isn't loquacious when sick.

Also he is an energetic young man, when he sits he always moves his feet or his hands.

if he has to describe himself, Aran would say he is both cool and lucky.

People would say about him instead that is a jerk who acts cocky, BUT they admit that he doesn't step back when things get hard.

Aran has a pov of the world where only the strongest can survive and rule over the others

Aran is a "open book", it's too easy to understand what Aran thinks about you

He is one of the quickest person the WVBA staff has never met. Also his reflexes are something outside this world: when he is concentrated he can avoid stuff throwing at him.

Aran has some... Problems... With hygiene. He usually forgets to take a shower or just brush his teeth. During his childhood and adolescence, no one told him how to wash himself correctly, so when he has to do it, he does it very quickly but he misses some parts.

Since this introduction in SPO, Aran stopped to cut his hair and, in general, to go to the barber. He prefers to take care of his hair himself (that's why his hairstyle is so odd). About his "beard", he thinks that a designer stubble is more masculine than a beard.

About hair, he is the most hairy around the WVBA. Very. His hair is the source of jokes against Don Flamenco's "hair". One time Don imagined to cut Aran's hair away and made a toupee with that hair.

Of course everyone remembers his iconic line about cheeseburger: Aran literally use that line with everyone, adapting it with their traditional food. Talking about stereotypes, Aran doesn't use them to do harm.

Aran has a soft side, but only his mam knows

He doesn't care what other people think about him and his behaviour

Joking and pranking is his way to interact with people

His driver's license was suspended and he decided to ride his bike. That's why he skips leg day XD

Passions

When he does exercise, Aran is very concentrated and he usually listens to Phonk (it boosts him with confidence and adrenaline)

When he has time (always lol), Aran draws on stuff or does doodles. Everywhere. On the metro, inside a cab, on a table of a pub... No place is safe.

About that, Aran made an Instagram page dedicated to his doodles in NY and Dublin (when he goes back), in which he signs himself as Ryan. Too bad everyone understands that it's him (tagging his main profile in the comments).

Relationships

Romantically he can give the vibes of someone uninterested in love and stuff

BUT truly Aran is a sorta of loser, he doesn't know how to approach to his s/o, so he imitates what Don and Macho Man do. In a bad way, exaggerating everything, from giving numerous presents/gifts to hugging/touching his s/o. He also would brag how muscular and manly is he, and he would start to talk no stop

The only one who has the bravery to comment his behaviour is Bald Bull. Instead, Soda always supports Aran, no matter what.

his attitude changes completely when his mam is involved, from a tough fella you should never mess about to a good and softy big boy.

He becomes kinder and softer when he gets closer to his s/o too.

Usually he isn't very liked inside the WVBA, but he has some friends (mostly Major circuit/world circuit)! Normally, they hang out to the pub or walk around, maybe searching a new disco/pub or a skate park.

[strawberryclementine]

Kisaki is an insomniac and Hanma is a sleepwalker. The first time they spend a night together, Kisaki is just sitting there, staring at the ceiling, and twiddling his thumbs, but then Hanma suddenly gets up and starts grumbling to himself, opening and closing doors, etc. For a second, Kisaki is really confused why Hanma is being so incoherent and random, but once he realizes what's going on he finds it extremely entertaining to just watch him waddle around aimlessly. He makes sure Hanma doesn't do anything dangerous and escorts him back to sleep a few minutes later.

[nightmaretherabbit]

@omgafhsfanin2014

Los Nightmares headcanons:

Deuz:

He/Him

Transmasc

Bi-curious

Deuz oldest of the group.

Can sing pretty well but is too shy to show anyone.

Becomes friends with Spring at some point and feels sympathy for what he's been through.

Was the one who came up with the idea of the whole gang painting their nails.

Disowned by his family because of being trans.

Maggie:

Genderfluid (any pronouns)

Biromantic,ace

Second oldest of the group

Oxy's older sister by 2 years

Has a crush on Golden. A very big crush-

Very protective of Oxy and will hurt anyone who hurts him in the slightest.

Besties with Felix. Pink hair best frens 🩷

Onnie:

Demi-Boy (He/They)

Bisexual

Second youngest of the group,only a year older than Oxy

Learned to play guitar when he was little from his mom

Feral animal<33

Has insomnia,anorexia, and depression

Loves to cook for his friends in his free time

Autistic

Oxy:

Nonbinary (He/She/They)

Demiromantic,Demisexual

Youngest of the group

Maggie's younger sibling by 2 years

Very quiet person

Hates people who are mean to their friends and sister.

Loves to draw in her free time.

HOH (Hard Of Hearing) in his left ear

Knows ASL & LSM

-------------------------------------------------------

That's all I have rn. Sorry it took me a freaking year to do this :')

[cupophrogs]

This stress insomnia is making me stressed

[canvas-madness-txc]

Midnight Coffee Race

{Underfell Papyrus X Reader}

TW- This one- shot contains mentions of: insomnia, bullying, and trauma. If the following subjects make you uncomfortable please scroll off this fic.

"You should sleep."

"I AM NOT HUMAN, THEREFORE, I DO NOT REQUIRE SLEEP."

You sighed. This conversation usually led nowhere. Today wasn't going to be anything different. You knew Papyrus had trouble with sleep, but still the fact he was constantly awake bothered you. It was not good for him. You felt that he knew that as well. Why he denied anything was wrong was a mystery to you. Still you decided to try again.

"Still. Human or not, you can't just not sleep. Besides when was the last time you slept anyways," you asked.

"I CAN AND I WILL. AND FOR THE RECORD WHEN I HAVE SLEPT IS NOT ANY OF YOUR CONCERN," he retorted. You could feel him beginning to look uncomfortable, although hiding it with annoyance.

"Well," you pressed on. He shifted a bit before he spoke.

"...I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN AGES."

"Papyrus!?" He seemed slightly taken aback at the change in your tone. There were few arguments between the two of you. This was different. Not that it was out of line. Ages. How long could that be? A few weeks? Months? Years? You would never know, and he would never tell you. You shook your head.

"I don't like this, it could be really bad for you. Just try to get some sleep. Okay," you said. He didn't respond. You left the room to do something else. The conversation still bugged you, but you tried to push it off.

"hey." You flinched and turned around.

"Oh hey, Sans." You relaxed. You've known Sans for a while, but him sneaking up on you via shortcut never got easier.

"so the argument still went nowhere huh," he started. Sans knew for his brother's problems. You could tell he felt some guilt that he couldn't do much about it. Like Papyrus, you could never figure out why. With what little they told you about the Underground, it probably had to do with that. You frowned. Everything you knew; from the war, to what happened to the fallen humans, to the effect it had on the monsters. It struck you the wrong way. Sans noticed it and quickly began to reassure you.

"eh don't worry about it too much. cruelty was standard back then and things are better now," he tried. You didn't know whether he was trying to convince you or himself. You shrugged.

"I know. It just he's been refusing sleep for who knows how long and doesn't really do anything about it. I'm getting worried." Sans nodded. You wanted to be alone for a while. He must've noticed since he teleported to who knows where.

That night, you were feeling quite restless yourself. How ironic, you mused. To tell Papyrus to sleep while you're barely getting any yourself.

Sliding out of bed, you went out into the kitchen. Maneuvering the dark proved some difficulty since you didn't want to draw attention to the others. Stumbling through the house, you managed to find the kitchen.

"YOU'RE STILL UP?" Your head shot up. Of course he'd be awake. What part of you thought you'd be the only one up? You knew how stubborn Papyrus could be. Even still, you nodded. He motioned for you to sit down. As you sat down, you SOUL was telling— screaming at you that something was wrong. He sat quiet, contrasting his usual loud, confident self. There was a cup of coffee on the table in front of him. He grabbed its handle with vice-like grip. You both sat in silence for a while. Slowly, you broke it first.

"You okay?" He paused and turned to look at you.

"YES."

*He's lying.

"Did you have a nightmare or something."

"NO!" He clamped his mouth shut. His tone softened as fast as it sharpened.

"I'M FINE. YOU DON'T NEED TO KEEP ASKING ME," he corrected. You tried to believe him but still your mind refused to accept it.

"Don't shut me out. You had a nightmare. Tell me what happened so I can fix it." He gave a small laugh.

"I ADMIRE YOUR TENACITY, BUT THERE IS NOT MUCH YOU CAN DO TO FIX EVERYTHING THAT PREVENTS ME FROM FALLING ASLEEP."

"Well you could always start by telling me why," you offered. Again you were met with silence. You thought he was going to shut this idea down. Then, he spoke up.

"I DON'T SLEEP. MY MIND HAS THE SCARY CAPABILITIES OF BEING DARK AND DEMENTED."

"You're afraid of your dreams?"

"...YES," he said quietly. You stared at him for a while, not knowing what to say.

"I KNOW. I KNOW. IT'S PATHETIC," he said putting his skull in his hands, "BUT NOTHING I DO CAN MAKE WHAT HAPPENED DOWN THERE GO AWAY." You took it all in. He had just told you one of his most vulnerable problems. Something that could have harmed him back Underground. You didn't know what to do. Without thinking, you grabbed one his hands.

"You're not pathetic. You've just been through a lot. If there's anything on your mind, you can tell me," you said smiling at him. He tried denying it, but you could tell he was grateful for it.

So he told you. He told you everything. The cruel conditions the Underground had been in when Asgore had issued that proclamation. The normalization of bullying. "Kill or be killed" became the motto.

He told you how he was stuck in the midst of it all.

Papyrus had told you how Asgore had made him a guard and the scar that would forever remind him of all the mistakes he had made. He told you the distance that started forming with his brother. He told you how his friendship with Undyne fell to pieces. And you listened. You let him pour his SOUL out. It pained you and you both knew, but you wanted to be there for him.

The worst part wasn't what he said. It wasn't the mistakes he made. It wasn't even anything he had done in the Underground.

The worst part is how he blamed himself.

The way he spoke of himself was so different than the way he portrayed himself. It was different from who he actually was. If words could hit, these would strike the mightiest of blows to you. You hated watching someone you cared for so deeply berate himself for trauma. There had to be a way to make him stop.

So you did. Instinctively, you pulled him to a hug. He stopped mid-sentence.

"AM I SCARING YOU?"

"No I just thought you needed this," you replied. He scoffed.

"YOU CAN'T JUST HUG ME AND THINK EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE OKAY." You looked at him.

"Maybe they won't be okay, but they'll be better. We'll have each other and help each other," you said pulling away to meet his gaze, "It's not going to fix everything that happened, but it would make it hurt less. You noticed Papyrus beginning to smile. He caught himself and pulled you back in so you couldn't see. Giggling, you let him have this.

"You still need to sleep though."

"LIKE YOU'RE ONE TO TALK RIGHT NOW."

"how 'bout you both go to bed!? i can hear your lover's quarrel from in here and the door's closed," Sans yelled from his bedroom. You both paused. Papyrus facepalmed and you rolled your eyes.

"He's not wrong we should get to bed," you said.

"AND FIND A BETTER PLACE TO TALK," Papyrus added bitterly, walking out of the kitchen. You followed him.

"Well we can think of that in the morning."

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Lots of Madeline's updates and life ramblings below the cut 🤠

Hey lil homies!! Glad that we're all collectively swooning over OUR SAG WINNER (!!!!) Pirate Pedro 🤪 So happy for our lil drunk baby boy and am ready to fight anyone that says this isn't the hottest look of this award season (I need this man to be a Disney Prince or in a Historical Romance IMMEDIATELY)

I know I've been posting one shots and drabbles, but I feel bad that the posting of chapters for NTL have been taking so long between each one. I've been going through a really bad bout of sleep anxiety and insomnia the past few weeks that has been absolutely kicking my ass, and I'm lacking the normal passion/energy I have for writing (and let's be honest, teaching 8 year olds all day is not helping with that exhaustion when you're running on 4 hours of sleep a night 🥴)

I'm currently working on the wedding chapter, and as I'm typing, I'm thinking I'll split it up into two parts bc it's gonna be hella long if I don't, and lord knows when I'll finish with it if that's the case. Thanks as always for being so patient with me, I promise I'm doing my best to get new chapters out bc our two favorite idiots in love bring me a lot of joy and comfort, just like I hope they bring you 🥺

In other news, I finally got myself enough together to cross post NTL on ao3, so if you have any interest on reading/following on there, here is my ao3 account!! I'll work on adding more there soon, just wanted to get all of NTL there first!!

On a positive note, just like Osita, I am a die hard hockey girlie, so the fact that I have been to two Red Wings games in the past 3 days has really been a bright spot in my week 🐙🔴 (big shoutout to @itsokbbygrl for Patty Kane, I am so sorry for your loss 🤪)

Have a great week my cute lil friends, I wish you all a fabulous day and no Sunday Scaries!! Here is a live look at me arriving at work tomorrow!!!

-Madeline

[what-if-i-just-did]

I really just.. couldn't sleep and learnt the whole-ass ASL alphabet instead. In like less than two hours, fluency. Like I did that. Why.