#TRYING TO HURT ME????
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60 for the kissing prompts for Corentin and Emmrich?
(prompt from here)
60. kisses with their last dying breath (480 words)
"You know... With all the trouble I used to get into, I always sort of figured I'd go young," Corentin says slowly, wheezing slightly on the exhale. His lungs didn't know quite how to fill all the way anymore, and each breath was weaker and shakier than the last. And while his lover and the rest of the Mourn Watch had done an admirable job of keeping his sickness at bay, his time was drawing close.
"Please don't say that," Emmrich replies from his post at Corentin's bed. He's been there non-stop the last few days, hardly daring to leave his side. "This isn't funny, dear."
"I'm not laughing." Not that he could, much. "Just giving perspective, I guess. It could be worse."
Without his glamour, Emmrich's face is a blank slate, showing only the regal and unemotive bearing of a skull. But Corentin had known him long enough to see the tells elsewhere—his slumped shoulders, the way his hands pressed together hard enough that his wrapped phalanges trembled. The way he couldn't quite face Corentin head on.
"I'm really not sure how," he admits, more to the blankets than to Corentin himself. "I... thought I'd be more prepared."
Gentle, weak fingers find Emmrich's wrist, squeezing with the remnants of a strength that had faded in his months of bedrest. "You are the only person I've ever met who thought they could prepare for grieving," he chuckles lightly, grimacing at the way it tightens his chest, holding back the cough through will alone. "You can't think your way out of this. But you'll be fine."
"The light of my life, my most dearest love, will be gone. How can I possibly be fine?"
"Because I'm asking you to be. You'll do me that favour, won't you?" He slides his hand up, hooking a finger under Emmrich's chin to nudge him forward. And as he always has, he indulges Corentin by leaning closer. "Mourn me, but don't stop being you, okay? You still have books to read and new friends to meet, you know."
"None shall ever compare to you, my dear." His voice is projected clearly, despite that it would be frail and shaking were he still mortal. Never before had he so strongly wished their positions were reversed—that he'd never done his rites and he had gone first. Spared himself watching the most vibrant, beautiful person he will ever have the pleasure of meeting deteriorate like this.
"Give them a chance anyway. And when you have a second, visit me and your parents and tell us all about it. I'll live vicariously through you. Forever and ever." With effort, he leans forwards to press still-warm lips to Emmrich's teeth, a gentle kiss goodbye. "Love you, Emm."
"I love you, too," Emmrich tells him, knowing the words have never once sufficiently captured the depth of his feeling, but wishing that they could now, just this final time.
#TRYING TO HURT ME????#WOE! PAIN AND MISERY UPON YE!!!!!!!!!#made myself fucking cry#volkorentin#emmrichmance#emmrich#oc: corentin#my writing#da fic#dav#dav spoilers#i guess for the lich stuff#answered#mine
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no offense but if your friend is trying out a new hobby be fucking nice to them
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what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?
i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?
a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?
in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.
girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.
there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.
for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.
something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.
is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.
most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."
a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.
#warm up#writeblr#this one has bothered me for a bit#any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime#hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying#as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing#like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts#why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge#''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it#ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace#if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!!#men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible#ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing#the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....
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Abby and Into the pit Oswald have similar “friends”..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf movie#abby schmidt#golden freddy#spring bonnie#fnaf oswald#pit bonnie#into the pit#ITS FUNNY and interesting to me#that Oswald and Abby had similar scenarios happen to em#I will say Abby definitely had the better end of the stick BAHAH#LIKE YEAH golden Freddy did try to trick her#but he didn’t actually hurt her#and she seem fine to do see the animatronics anyway despite the violence#WHILE OSWALD is stuck with pit Bonnie#a dude who literally tries to kill him ever moment he gets#but also is trying to be his dad#it’s complicated and Oswald is NOT having any of it#hey at least pit Bonnie is having a good time
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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Scary Sunset.
I'm concepting things way outta order in this story, but I'm sure you can piece things together. Context is for a storybeat where, after defeating and capturing Adagio (thus having all three sirens in her possession), Sunset enacts her revenge plot to release the sirens on Canterlot as Thea discovers she's been manipulated. In a confrontation, the two scuffle and fight over the siren orbs while Sunset struggles with her conflicting wants and emotions.
#mlp#sunset shimmer#twilight sparkle#twiset#the orbs are the glass balls sunset carries on her back btw its in her cast line up art#deep down sunset hates thea. she was named “twilight” by celestia. the time of day succeeding sunset. she was always her replacement#but at this point in the story sunset's also fallen for thea. so it's also a conflict of wills in sunset. love or hatred.#hence the “don't make me do this” language. she's rationalizing her hatred and violence as thea forcing her hand and getting in her way#when in reality she doesn't need to do any of this. it's her last stand and outburst to cling to a life of revenge that she's grown too#fond of. because she knows thea has the power to change that and disrupt her identity as a pathetic victim who fell from glory#and that's scary. thea's a very scary thing to sunset because suddenly sunset wants something and to be someone new.#she suddenly wants to change. to be better for someone else. and she never thought or believed that could be an option for her#anyways toxic yuri yayyy#my art#the grand galloping 20s#character design#i hope i got across the pained conflicted emotions in sunset's face tho i belabored over them these past 3 days#i hope a look of anger and dissonance and guilt and “oh god i don't really wanna hurt you please just obey me” while trying to intimidate#is readable. if so it's all in the eyebrows babey
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you think YOU had a bad day at work?
bonus: sid shrieking "no!!!! NO!!!!!" loud enough to be heard in the stands and on camera
#this is now my FAVOURITE game i've watched in real life knocking the game misconduct one off the number one rank#he was so annoyed the entire game and so annoying about it :')#he kept shrieking away on the bench and i couldn't hear a word from where i was seated#but you could just hear this constant yipping away dhfsgfkjshgfsjf PLEASE it was so funny your 36-year-old babygirl was BARKING#drew kept sitting there like... is mom okay... i don't think mom's okay...#also extremely good for me (since he wasn't really hurt) was the whumpfest of it all oh my god what ancient gods did he anger.........#geno kept Hovering in concern#po kept giving him little shoulder pats the way a sweet brave babyboy would try his best to soothe a rabid little dog#ek of course kept trying to slide right inside him and also kept skating up to him and STARING him in the face in concern/lust/both#also guys this is my first time in canada ever!!!!!!!! i'm excited#anyway. very good game for me sorry for this post but you know i love a#long post#sidney crosby#evgeni malkin#pittsburgh penguins#also!!! to all who celebrate#ramadan kareem/eid mubarak#<333 staying with a friend here through the eid celebration and they've been cooking and everything smells so good
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Based on hollow mind by @crows-murder
Thanks for the inspiration and a lot of pain)
Here is a version without a shield (it doesn't make sense but I just like it. You can see the fear in Leo's eyes much clearer>:3)
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Aaand the original sketch (which I also like so I'm showing it to you)
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#tw blood#tw guns#oh no the government found them!#my art#art#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt leo#rise leo#rottmnt donnie#rise donnie#disaster twins#rise disaster twins#i'm really proud of this one#it took me two days and it was totally worth it#third time trying to figure out backgrounds woohoo#i was feeling like reading hurt/comfort fics that evening#and found this perfection#i took some artistic liberties here and there#cause i didn't have the text with me at the moment so i was drawing based purely on feelings#so many inaccuracies lol
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i’ve been using my brain more than its used to
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gonna think about gay mutant road trip hope my brain doesn’t explode
#i’m getting pissesed cause i keep missing words whenever i’m writing#i’m saying the sentence along in my head and my fingers glaze over words for some reason#i only notice the mistakes too late as well#since my brain hurts i’m gonna put that as a hc for charles#he had to keep going through his thesis trying to find the missing words#he gotta suffer with me#crying ughh#need to see cherik hold hands again#now i’m sad cause i remembered we could’ve had charles cradle erik as he died in his arms in dofp#your man is dying charles!#its still sweet the hand hold but 🙁#i need more expression in the hands they were giving me nothing#take the gloves off#gimme the same vibe as the one from god loves man kills#except they actually take eachothers hand#i’m using the last of my energy to ramble in the tags#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#x men#wish does not shut up
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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I cannot wait for this Stan to reconnect with his Ford.
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I still haven't figured out HOW exactly they'll meet yet, but I do think that Ford would ATTACH himself to Stanley and talk his ears off forever when they eventually get comfortable :] and Stanley would listen because HOLY SHIT, THAT'S HIS BRO HE HASN'T SEEN FOR 40-ISH YEARS, HE MISSED HIS VOICE. Nonstop certified Yapper & Listener relationship <3
Stanley looks dead faced because of his ingrained poker face, but he's thouroughly enjoying it, even if sometimes he has no idea what the fuck Ford is saying. He never interrupts him though, since he knows people usually ignore or interrupt him mid-talk already. So sometimes Stan gets stuck in awkward situations where he has to leave or do stuff, but also doesn't have it in his heart to stop Ford and extract himself out of a (one-sided) conversation.
#Stanley: that motherfucker just ignored you completely- would you like me to kill him.#Stanford: Who? What are you talking about? Anyways. Have you ever seen gnomes before? Because just yesterday I-#I imagine conversations with Stanford to be very stitled and all over the place.#Since his thoughts are quite literally scattered- he can never really process them fast enough to actually verbalize them.#Or even understand them.#So he often only catch the tail ends of a thought- or cutoff half formed thoughts- or only the beginning half of an idea- memory- or opinio#And when he talks- you can really tell with the amount of tangents he goes off into and how everything he says#are completely disconnected and unrelated from one another.#I think the reason he talks so much is because it's his way of desperately trying to get himself understood by someone- including himself.#He's hoping that maybe- by verbalizing EVERYTHING in his mind all at once into some incomprehensible word vomit- that someday-#those senseless- useless words will one day magically order themselves into the right sentence for him to be finally be able to say what#he actually MEANS.#But because he's ''that crazy Town Kook Ford'' he just never really gets the chance to talk to anyone.#People in town baby him- treat him like a child.#And I mean- it must really hurt. For someone of his former intellect to have lost all ability to express himself eloquently#Not because he's any less smart- but because he just can't talk anymore. At least- not in any way that matters#I think Stanley understands him though. I think Stanley would understand his struggle to not be labeled as just stupid by others#Anyways- that was my ramble <3#my post#asks#sput chatters#stanford pines#ford pines#stanley pines#stan pines#gravity falls#gravity falls au#Town Kook Ford AU#my art
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Introducing! ELESA, the new kid on the block! She's a tiny bedraggled child from Sinnoh and not all that familiar with Galarian, the spoken language in Unova. (One day she'll be amazing. Right now though, she just wants to go play in the mud. And maybe get a better set of hearing aids.)
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When not bitterly lonely, she’s scheming to run back to her old home. Or chasing the local patrat. Or watching nervously from the sidelines as other children play on the swings. Oh elesa. (loosely inspired by @/noxstrages' incredible comics about elesa's origins! Ty for the food.)
Masterpost to my submas comics!
#art#pokemon#sketchbook#submas#myart#fanart#gym leader elesa#blitzle#nimbasa trio#elesa#character design#baby elesa is a nightmare to work with but im happy with this draft!#her clothes are supposed to be more sinnoh fashioned#and with time she slowly integrates more and more unovan clothing inspiration into her work#one day she's going to realize everything she works on is entirely unovan. and it's gonna hurt.#(i feel like part of her modeling and costume designing stuff in the future would be her trying to reclaim some of that history)#((but also the inherent tragedy of forgetting kantonese because she tries so hard to integrate into unova makes me feel things))#(((only projecting on elesa a bit. i promise)))
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Poppy playtime and security breach are twisted for this
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#kissy missy#glamrock chica#poppy playtime chapter 4#poppy playtime#security breach#fnaf ruin#like can a pink girl in one of these games#not get destroyed to pieces please#truly some girlies who did very little to try and hurt us#Kissy missy more so definitely#but chica was just hungry and we killed her for it#give them their arms back NOW#me and all my homies love and trust kissy missy#she never did me wrong
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I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#wen qing#jiang cheng#Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile.#This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature.#But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly'#My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out.#Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth.#I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity-#-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly.#Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose.#You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok#Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards.#Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever.#To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss.#Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'.#described in alt text#I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day
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there's something deeply gutting about being a writer right now. watching studio execs brag about starving people like you out of your very house just to not pay you anything above the pennies you currently make. watching some people cheer over AO3 being targeted for a DDOS attack. the complete lack of profitability of writing commissions or writing in general in transformative spaces, especially in contrast to fanart. the pivot of so many social media platforms to be video and image based near-exclusively.
I don't know. it just makes me sad to know that the hobby that kept me alive while growing up homeschooled with dial-up internet and local antenna TV... is only ever gonna be a side job with minimal engagement. I know this site is good about supporting libraries and the concept of books but, do me a favor? Reach out to a writer friend you know. Leave a comment on your last five read stories on your favorite website.
Tell us you care.
#maybe that's why I've been so stalled on my novel#I keep trying to convince myself there's a POINT to it#but I look at how BRUTAL the publishing industry is and how I can't even consistently break ten reblogs on writing I post here#and I just. it hurts. and I have other hobbies I could fall back on!!! I could do art and cosplay and cater to the immediate engagement!!#but writing is my LOVE and my PASSION and I just wish. I wish the current climate CARED about us#TALKED to us the way we talk to cosplayers and artists and the chocolate guy#UGH. Wednesday blues hitting me NASTY today
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Princess ⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚
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⊹‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹
leon kennedy x fem!reader
Summary: Being an independent woman and a full time student is all fun and games until final’s season. Luckily, your not-quite academic rival Leon Kennedy is there to pick you up when you fall.
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cw: Female pronouns and description used for reader but nothing detailed (no skin color, eye color, hair type, body type, etc.) This is basically just an x reader for my independent eldest daughters who do nothing but their absolute best all the time everyday and deep down want a hot guy with beefy arms to let them relax for a minute. So i guess expect the related issues that come with being an eldest daughter?
Tags/tropes: hurt/comfort, dom! leon if you squint, leon’s very touchy, leon being a gentleman!! probably ooc, i kinda struggled finding his voice :/
wc: 3.3k
a/n: wowee so i’m not rlly looking to be a full time author or anything but i could NOT get this idea out of my head and i figured i could give back to the tumblr fic community <3 here’s to everyone who wants hurt/comfort without smut, incest, or a needlessly specific reader! hope everyone’s recovering well from finals!
— ‧₊˚ 𓂃౨ৎ
The first time it happened, it honestly, truly, was an accident. A mistake, if you will. You would never willingly fall asleep on a random guy at a party. That is all kinds of bad for a number of reasons.
However. There were some… extenuating circumstances.
Finals. They’re a make-or-break for the first semester. Mostly just a break. In the sense that you contemplated how upset your parents would be at you if you dropped out and if the subsequent disowning would be worth it.
You did finals the same way you did everything. You worked. Studied. Borderline obsessed over it. Romanticized it so you could push through when the other’s resolve started dropping. Stayed home. Your friends bemoaned your “no-fun attitude” but they’re crying over their grades and you’re not, so.
Well. Actually you’re definitely crying over your grades, almost every day in fact. But not because they’re bad. Just because you’re tired. Really tired. The kind of tired that makes people have public breakdowns. But you can’t afford to have a public breakdown because you have to succeed at college and you have to work in order to stay on top of your bills and be able to send some money home to your family and make sure you have time to call your parents and make time for your sister to call you and vent because you didn’t have a you at her age and you wish you did so you have to be there for her and your friends need you to be there for them not to mention planning for how you’re going to use your degree after you graduate and—
Most of the time you try not to think about it.
So finals were over. And everyone wanted to celebrate. And you did, you promise. You’re totally the party girl type. Totally. (Maybe if you say it enough times it’ll come true?)
You don’t hate parties. You like dressing up and going out. It’s fun! It’s just… not your idea of an unwind. Not after you nearly ran yourself into the ground for a month straight for the sake of academic validation. You’d prefer to sleep for 72 hours straight. And maybe watch a movie at home in the sweatshirt you cried over your textbooks in. Maybe over a glass of wine? You’re not really sure. Relaxing never really goes well for you. It’s either depression-bed-rotting or full productivity.
Needless to say, you weren’t exactly thrilled to find yourself at this party. You’re not really sure how your friends convinced you.
But you’re here, in makeup and an outfit you like (you’re thankful this isn’t one of the ‘put on a tight dress and dance’ parties) and you just honestly want to go to bed. It’s a house party, so it’s not nearly as crazy as some of the other parties you’ve been (read: dragged) to, but still.
You’re on the couch, ignoring the smell of alcohol in the air and pretending the pounding baseline of the music coming from the speaker in the kitchen isn’t starting to give you a headache.
Ada Wong, a girl you’ve hesitantly dubbed your party friend, is sitting on your left, while the guy you can never quite tell what he is to her, is sitting on your right.
Leon Kennedy.
On a good day, Leon Kennedy is a smart, brooding, annoyingly capable guy who you share some of your classes with. On a bad day, he’s the bane of your existence. On a really bad day, you fantasize about all the ways you could kill him and turn the experience into a really good term paper.
It’s complicated. You’re smart. He’s smart. You tend to clash because neither of you like backing down from a challenge.
But right now, in this moment, at this party, the only thing you can think about is how fucking tired you are and how warm he is.
The music is so loud it drowns everything out in your brain. The few thoughts that make it through the overwhelm of sound are fuzzy and staticky. The cling and slip around in your head like syrup. The worst parts about parties are, funnily enough, working to cancel out the main reason you can’t fall asleep in your own bed at night: overthinking.
That and the fact that you haven’t sleep in forty-eight hours. An energy drink and an iced coffee count as a full nights sleep, right? You’re sure the heart palpitations are normal.
You manage to keep up with the steady flow of the group conversation, but as the night wears on, talking becomes harder and harder and just plain processing the words being said slowly turns into an impossible task. At some point, someone else squeezed onto the couch— you think it might be Chris? Ada did say he was coming late— so now you’re pressed against the one and only Leon Kennedy, and he’s radiating heat like a furnace.
Like you, he opted for a slightly more casual approach to the house party. Of course, he’s a guy, so his wardrobe was probably never that big, but still. It’s nice to see someone else in a sweatshirt and jeans.
You at least put on your favorite jeans! You call them your hot jeans, for self explanatory reasons. So what if you’re wearing an oversized sweatshirt? It’s cold!
You jolt in place, not realizing your eyes had slipped close and the conversation had continued on without you. Something prickles in the back of your head. An instinctual sort of thing.
Don’t fall asleep in public places.
Don’t fall asleep at someone’s house you don’t know.
You know the owner of the house, you think. You’ve been here once or twice. But you don’t know everyone at the party and where your friends have gone because they’re not in the group talking here and you should probably stand up soon, to wake yourself up, don’t let your friends down, don’t be that girl who falls asleep at the party, don’t—
You jolt again.
Wake up. You tell yourself. Leon’s looking at you out of the corner of his eye, but you ignore it.
It feels like a record skip. You’ll blink, and the conversation isn’t the same as when you first closed your eyes. The song isn’t the same. Were the lights always this bright?
“Whew!” Ada whistles from above. When did she stand up? “Someone’s got final’s exhaustion written all over their face!”
The group laughs and you do too, but it sounds different. Leon doesn’t. Why isn’t he laughing?
You jolt again. Harder this one. A full body shake. You wince as your knee knocks into Leon’s.
“Sorr—“
“Stop that.” He grumbles, and oh. A warm, solid hand snakes around your waist and pulls you closer. Closed to that warm, stupidly comfortable side.
This is wrong. It’s Leon. It’s Leon. You can’t. And this is a party, and your friends are here—
“Stop being stupid,” You can feel his chest rumble from where your cheek is pressed flush against it, and when did that happen? He picks up your left arm and drapes it across his stomach, then picks up your right arm and wraps it around his lower pack. “Squeeze.”
You listen, and wow. Who has time to go to the gym this much and be an academic rival? You feel like you’re slacking. Maybe you need to make time to get some—
“I can hear you thinking,” He says, voice deep and rumbly. It’s honestly a miracle you can hear him over the music. It’s probably because your face is pressed against his chest. If you strain, you can feel the dull thud of his heart.
“You have a heart?” You say, half-delirious with exhaustion. It comes out more as a question than a statement
“Mhm,” He rumbles. “I am in possession of one. Great observation princess.”
You frown into his chest. “Why are you always so mean? You call me that stupid name. I’m not a princess.”
“I’m not mean. Whoever said princess was a mean nickname? You decided that on your own.”
“Then how come you call me that?”
“Because,” He huffs, repositioning to a more slouched position that’s more comfortable for your neck. The arm tightens around your waist.
It’s nice. It’s possessive. Protective. No one’s ever really done that for you before. Usually it’s you doing the protecting.
You don’t want to relax. You can’t. You can’t.
“Because,” He continues, “Princesses need to be taken care of. Especially smart, stubborn princesses who never pause for one second. Not even when they should.”
You should get up. Apologize for how weird you’re being. Have another coffee or energy drink. Join the party. Do something that isn’t this.
“Go to sleep,” He says, his voice like a warm blanket settling and slipping into your mind. “Nothing‘s going to happen to you while I’m here. No one is going to be mad at you for sleeping. And if they are, I’ll kick their ass. Go to sleep.”
It’s easy to give in after that.
You sag, boneless. Like a puppet with it’s strings cut. You inhale deeply, breathing in the deep, rich scent that’s distinctly Leon.
Just for a few minutes. Because Leon’s watching. He won’t let something happen to you. Just for a few minutes. You’ll get up soon. You will.
He tucks you closer to him. “Sleep.”
You’re out like a light.
—
“No way, she’s actually asleep?”
“Holy shit Leon, did you drug her?”
“I did not.”
“Well, thanks, for whatever weird magic-spell you cast. Seriously. We’re all starting to get worried about her. She doesn’t take any breaks and she doesn’t let anyone help. Last week a librarian found her asleep on the printer. Fully standing.”
“Hmm.”
“I’m going to start inviting you to our apartment if it means she’ll actually get some fucking sleep. It’s unsettling finding her in the same position as when I left like, six hours beforehand.”
“Don’t worry. She’s in good hands.”
—
It’s horrific, running into him in the library.
What makes it more horrible is the fact that you’re ugly crying silently in the English textbook section, because it’s always empty. You’re ugly crying in the English textbook section of the university library and Leon Kennedy just walked into the aisle.
You sniff, lifting your head from your knees to stare up at him from the ground. He has a knack for finding you at your lowest, it would seem.
“We’ve got to stop seeing each other like this, princess.”
“Oh?” You sniff hard, running a hand across your face as if that will clear up your red rimmed, puffy eyes, the tear tracks on your face, or the flush on your nose. The action at least wipes away the snot. “I wasn’t aware you ever fell asleep on me at a party. Did I ever find you crying in the English textbook section of the library?”
He tilts his head. “Why the English textbook section? It’s one of your best subjects.”
“It’s the emptiest section. Plus, anyone looking for an English textbook at this hour isn’t going to bat an eye at me.” You wrap your arms around your legs and hug them to your chest. “What are you doing here?”
“One of your roommates called Ada. They said you haven’t been home since this morning. They thought you might’ve been at hers, or with me.”
You snort. “It’s like they don’t even know me.”
He rolls his eyes. “I think they were hoping you’d be there. I think anyone who knows you knew you’d be here.”
“Crying in the English section?”
“In the library, dumbass.”
He stalks forward, leaning back against the bookshelf across from you and sliding his hands into his sweatpants pockets.
“Tell me. Is your pathological avoidance to asking for help conscious or not?”
You kick out, one shoed foot catching him in the shins. “Dick.”
He shrugs. “Just want to know. I can’t exactly gloat over scoring two points above you if you’re not in top form. I want a fair fight.”
“Is that what you're here for?” You ask suddenly, everything in your body going rigid. “You think this is funny?”
“No,” He says calmly. “I’m here because you’re being stupid again. You know what’s not healthy, or smart?”
He gestures to you. You, sitting on the floor, tears drying on your face. “This. Going out to parties to make your friends happy when you should be at home, sleeping. Studying for so long you end up looking like your boyfriend of eight years just broke up with you. Come on, princess. Where’s those brains you brag about?”
“They’re up here,” You tap your forehead. Against your will, your eyes burn, tears welling up, your face tightening. “And they’re tired.”
You drop your head into your hands, forgoing your silent crying of earlier in the place of open mouth sobbing. You can’t help it. You’re just so tired. So done with it all. With trying to keep up, with trying to make space, with trying to make time. With doing your best and it not being enough. You’re tired of being tired.
“Annnd there it is. Come here.”
He lowers himself to the floor next to you, tucking you close in a similar fashion as that night at the party.
“Come on, same thing as before. Hold onto me. Give yourself a minute.”
You wrap your arms around his middle, same way as last time, burying your face into his shoulder. Someone could see. Someone you know might see you crying and think—
He reaches a hand up and pulls the hood of your sweatshirt over your head.
“There. Now no one can see your face. Stop worrying. Just cry, princess.”
You sniffle. “I’m getting snot on your sweatshirt.”
“It’s had worse on it.”
“Gross.”
You can practically feel the eye roll. “Can you stop being dirty-minded and focus on something productive? Like crying? Or not crying, if that would make you feel better.”
You shift, so your head is lying against his shoulder instead of smashed into it like before.
“Why do you care if I feel better?”
Why do you care?
He shrugs against you.
“Told you,” He pushes your hood back a bit, tapping you on the forehead with his pointer finger. “My competition’s no fun if she’s not taking care of herself. How else is she gonna kick my ass?”
“I can take care of myself just fine. I don’t need you to swoop in here, Leon.”
“Mhm,” He says. “And i’m sure you do great at it, considering you’re still alive and kicking my ass at those stupid socratic seminars. Consider this… self-care. In the face mask, getting your nails done way.”
“Who taught you self care?”
“Ada. We have face mask nights.”
You jolt up. “Is she—“
“She’s not my girlfriend, we’re not fucking, no she’s not going to be upset or care in any way about this. Calm down.”
You begrudgingly settle back against him.
“If anything,” He continues. “She’ll be excited to see you at more parties in the coming months.”
You frown. “I never said—“
“You only go to parties if your friends physically drag you or when you feel confident enough in your grades and the general state of your life. It’s really easy to tell which version of you shows up to the party. It’s the way you dress.”
“How so?”
He shifts slightly. Guilt twinges in your stomach as you realize how uncomfortable he must be.
“You wear your pick-me-up pants when you’re dragged there. The ones that make your ass look great.”
You sit up with a gasp. “My hot pants?”
He raises an eyebrow. “Is that what you call them?”
Your brain catches up to the rest of what he said. “Hold on. Did you just say—“
“I said what I said. I’m assuming there’s a reason you call them your hot pants.”
He smirks, and you flush.
“Moving onto more pressing matters,” He tilts his head at you. “You have two options this evening. Either I take you back to your place and you sleep in your own bed, or you come to my place and we binge watch the Oceans movies until you fall asleep.”
“How did you know I like the—“
“The icebreaker for club thing. You said they were your favorite movies.”
You look up at him. “You remembered?”
“You were wearing your hot jeans.”
“You’re the worst.”
He scans your face for a moment, eyes sparking with mirth and a little something less innocent. “Maybe.”
You sigh and lean back against him, exhaustion from all your crying hitting you at once.
“Nuh-uh, no sleeping here. You gotta pick one. My place or yours?”
You frown into his shoulder. “Ugh. Fine. Yours, but only because I wanna watch the Ocean’s movies. You better not have a disgusting frat house.”
“I do not. I do have popcorn and ice cream.”
“Ada bought those, didn’t she?”
“Nope,” He says, nudging you with his shoulder to stand. You clamber in gracefully to your feet, your head starting to pound. “Chris likes to have movie nights. It pays to be well stocked.”
Your cheeks warm as a large, steadying hand finds its way to the small of your back. “How many of my friends are you friends with?”
“I was friends with them first.”
“Ass.”
He chuckles incredulously. “For having friends?”
“Yes,” You say, letting him pull you to his side while you walk to your table where you left your stuff. Probably not the best idea to leave your entire net-worth unattended, but whatever. You were going through it. “How dare you.”
“Mmm. I see. My apologies, princess. I’ll tell Chris and Ada.”
“You get on that.”
You can’t help but smile as he helps you pack up your things, passing you items across the table and carefully zipping up your pencil case.
“Don’t touch my papers, I have a system.”
“Is the system absolute chaos?”
“Shut up.”
Once everything is packed up, you zip up your backpack, but before you can sling it on, Leon’s arm darts out and snags it right out from under you.
Your expression grows pinched. “I can carry my own bag, Leon.”
“I know you can.”
“Give me my bag.”
“No.”
You groan. “Why do you want to carry my bag?”
“See, there’s this thing called chivalry—“
“Oh my god, shut up. When have you and chivalry ever been synonymous?”
He shrugs. “Ever since I met the girl in the hot jeans who regularly kicks my ass academically.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
“Mmm,” He hums, wrapping an arm around your waist and walking you towards the doors to the library. “And you’re stubborn. Come on. Brad Pitt and George Clooney are waiting for you.”
You sigh dramatically, hiding a small smile in your hand.
Maybe you could get used to this.
masterlist | next part
♡ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ౨ৎ ‧₊ .ᐟ
#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#hurt/comfort#leon kennedy fanfic#leon kennedy fanfiction#dom!leon#again if you squint but just know i was trying to subtly convey it#soft leon kennedy#he’s being sweet#can u tell i have a thing for his arms#and a man taking care of me without invalidating my strengths#it’s so hot when a man is a man actually#resident evil#leon x reader#leon s kennedy#not me forgetting tags#re4 remake#re4 leon#resident evil 5#resident evil 4#resident evil 3
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