#TRICK QUESTION!!!
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averagesawfan · 5 months ago
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house (talking about a patient): what you think he can't bc he's a faggot
chase: uuuh mate, I don't think ou' can say that eh
house: don't worry I take it up the ass. (turns back to the whiteboard)
foreman (whispers to Cameron): 20 says it Cuddy
Cameron: 50 says it's Wilson
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zionanelequaso · 4 months ago
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me and who chat
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The Batman touches the Joker with such gentleness sometimes.
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officialspec · 9 months ago
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modern au but set in brisbane. is this anything
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feelo-fick · 8 months ago
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why are you still here, then????
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morganbritton132 · 17 days ago
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Eddie, loudly during a live-stream where he and Gareth are just jamming: STEVIE! STEVE!!! STEVIE!!!!
Steve, from somewhere else: YEAH?
Eddie: WHAT DO YOU MISS ABOUT DATING GIRLS?
Steve, yelling back: BOOBIES
Eddie: I knew that’d be his answer. He’s a tit man,
Gareth: Was any of that necessary?
*five minutes later*
Steve, sticking his head in the room: Hey, we have a very fulfilling relationship. Everything I ever wanted, I found in you and there’s nothing I’m missing…
Steve: …I’d ask what you looked for in other guys but you were a virgin when we m-
Eddie: No, I wasn’t. Stop telling people that!
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acid-ixx · 5 months ago
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prequel: again &. again. (platonic! yandere batfam x neglected! gn reader)
directory: prequel, chapter one, chapter two, chapter three
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read until the end for an author's note.
what hurts more when it comes to neglectful batfam that adopted you after jason's death (that eventually turns a 360 after you have left) is probably the fact that they always had time for you, it's just that they never chose to spend it on you; an extra burden to their family rather than an addition. if they had time to spend, they spend it on anything or anyone else but you. it's not that you don't share interests with them, it's just...! they have way more priorities that push you further back into their list of 'to do's'; though you know you'll always be the last of that list.
bruce has to juggle so many tasks as the billionaire playboy "brucie wayne", a father of an ever growing family, and gotham's dark knight vigilante but somehow, you're aware he could easily fit in one or two more children into his already booked schedule— he just never seems to consider you worthy enough apparently. or maybe it was because you were too silent, you set boundaries compared to your other family who are outspoken about what they want, what they need— but there's one thing for sure that sets you off from your siblings; you're not a vigilante.
you were merely a child of a one night stand; a child raised too well. you were behaved, you never complained, and you were just, you. and being normal (at least in their level of extraordinary talents were you a mere droplet) amongst a family of talented individuals makes you easily a ghost. was bruce to blame with his neglect? definitely. if he was able to balance his life so easily, then maybe as the world's best detective would he notice you packing your things day by day without update. maybe that was why you never once hesitated the moment you stepped outside the manor, permanently.
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dick's excuse would always be "sorry, baby bird! but i promised to spar with damian today. ah, but you can watch from the sidelines!" or he would be too busy saving bludhaven to even acknowledge your presence. sure, he smiles at you with those shiny teeth of his, but despite him looking at you, he never notices you for more than a second, right after he would skidadle his way to another sibling's room, bothering them to spend more time with him, never you though. it occurs to you that he has only entered your bedroom once, and that occurrence was years ago. even then, he didn't last a minute inside there before running away once more.
family matters more than anything to dick. hell, he was enraged at the announcement of jason's death and even beat joker to a bloody pulp when he realized tim fell into his hands. he's ready to defend damian, barbara, steph, cass, and duke with his life. it's his duty and obligation as the family's eldest brother, of course. but were you considered family to him? were you considered a sibling in his eyes, or were you just the resident roommate of the mansion? you question that endlessly because everyone, family and friends, seem to be smitted with dick, but you eventually gave up trying to vye for his attention. it's fine, really, if you were just another civilian to him, because he was just another person to you too. just like in a circus, you would always be the intermission rather than the main event. and with that, you take your leave.
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jason was the most forgivable to you, second to tim. he was never there, and he would've probably put effort into spending time with you if not for the fact he despises bruce and the mansion and wouldn't and couldn't last a second stepping into it. he never met you when he was robin, it was only right after his death did he discover were you taken in and that added fact alongside tim being his replacement turned him bitter with resentment. though his hatred for you receded over time, he wouldn't really be caught taking a minute with you because he always sneaks inside the mansion and crime in gotham never seems to lessen. because of that, and your unwillingness to become a vigilante to kick ass with him and the others, he wouldn't be able to fully take an hour with you.
casual talks are unavoidable, though, when at the dead of the night he would be caught sneaking in to eat some leftovers and you were conveniently awake at the same time as him. he'll recommend you some classic literature he read or 'cafes/restaurants that criminals visit the least' lists, but before it would turn into a full conversation, jason would already be wearing his signature mask again, and with a pat on your head and a "talk to you soon, can't guarantee it'll be tomorrow again though, only here for alfred's meals of course," and he'll be gone. you shouldn't have let your hopes high, you wished you didn't because, duh! he wasn't there to talk to you, specifically. you were just there to bide his time! wiping tears away from your eyes, and with a heavy heart, you book an apartment away from the wayne manor with your own atm card; hope irreversibly dead and unable to revive a sliver of faith, even if it was dipped in the lazarus pit would it never come back as the same.
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tim drake is always tired. just like bruce, his days are filled with investigation, crime fighting, and worst of all; high school. that's of course that least of his worries the moment he drops out. tim was never the guy to talk much. he only does when he needs to make an impression for others, or when he needs to manipulate people for potential information. his life revolved around fighting, from when he solved the case of bruce wayne and dick grayson being batman and robin respectively, up to his current identity as red robin and occasionally robin. he'll often be found in the batcave working with babs on a case or working alone in his room.
it's no mistake that you were the most distant to him, never once knowing about his interests or even hobbies and vice versa. it was a given that at the very moment you pass a glance at him, you knew it was a 'mind your business' type of relationship with him. if you were a mere ghost to dick, then you were just a spec of dust to tim. it was unfair to assume he would never care for you, he does! only in a way where you were another person to save if you ever were endangered, but would that be enough to stalk you to the point he gains every insight about you? not really. you weren't one of his friends, like kon who he would spend weekly video game challenges with; and you probably don't exist as his sibling in his own little world filled with coffee and computers. yeah, your feelings about leaving him weren't as bitter as the caffeine he drowns in his system, but you were still hurt either way.
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damian wayne, from his birth, was taught and raised to prioritize his mission as an al ghul, to be the one continuing the legacy and to shed blood on anyone who opposes. when he was given over to bruce, it took a hell lot of effort to turn a new page and become the next robin. it was, with no doubt, that despite his 'redemption', he would be a tad bit crueler to you than the others. unlike tim, who he persistently bothers, you were untalented, worthless, and a stain on the reputation of the wayne's. even jason, his father's greatest mistake, had more value than you.
maybe it was fine-tuned jealousy, maybe he was mirroring his father and dick's actions towards you with his own sick twist of violence. either way, you would rather avoid the boy, lest you face the wrath of his sword. it wouldn't be wrong if you came to hate him, actually you do, but despite your endless game of cat and mouse with you as the unwilling victim of the chase, your poor heart couldn't fathom the thought of not excusing his actions as that of a child's. you tell yourself everyday, 'just ignore it, he was raised like as to be a menace after all' but you can't deny the bitterness and the clenching of your teeth whenever you stumble upon a room and see your father and your younger brother watching a movie together. the resentment eventually builds up until you blow up and just, give up. within your final moments in the manor, you figured to leave some belongings that you collected overtime that were supposedly memorabilias that you wish to show off to your family. like his pieces of art, you could only explain your life in the family as black and white and as bleak as the streaks of charcoal that rubs against the pages.
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when dick was jogging through the desolate halls of the manor, he noticed the place seemed to be more... empty of some sort. and he knows pushing that feeling into the back of his head would only result in more questions than answers. so he decides to enter the spare rooms one by one until he comes across your room (he doesn't know it was yours, though), turning the knob without knocking.
that was when his eyes seem to dilate. his nose catched a faint whiff of bleach (was the room deep-cleaned?), vision seemingly closing in on the few furniture left alongside a diary and other boxes left neatly on your bed, with other smaller trinkets left untouched on your bedside table. he didn't remember you mentioning anything about leaving, hell, he doesn't want to admit his lack of memories about you but—
wait...
didn't he promise to take you out for dinner months ago...?
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reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.
a/n: this is one of my favorite pieces of writing i have ever done and i like it a lot so i hope whoever reads this likes it too. if you all want to read more of this, then please leave a comment or reblog because i heavily appreciate it and it motivates me further to write this type of content! the reason i have come to a long hiatus is because, as stated, the lack of interaction with content. like i said, i will still write for genshin but i am open to expanding my fandom list. (p.s. i hope you like the way i had to connect their interests or a part of their past to the reader.)
heavily inspired by @klemen-tine's work: Glass Bones and Paper Skin, @gotham-daydreams' work: Not [], and @onmyyan's work: Ain't No Sunshine.
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luvsicdog · 29 days ago
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kalamariboy · 1 year ago
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scatterbrainedbot · 1 year ago
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so yall. i randomly remembered a minor background moment from the 03 series. and it has spawned Thoughts....thoughts with Strong brainrot potential......
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halavibe · 7 months ago
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ot8 in hello, coachella!
2/2
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tagerrkix · 10 months ago
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WHERE IS HE D:
(sorry for deleting and posting this again 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️ one tiny insignificant thing was bothering me and when I edited it it wouldn't show on reblogs and that kinda made me go 😠😠😠)
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ohimsummer · 4 months ago
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satoru gets hard over literally anything. he sees a peek of your side boob = boner. underboob = boner. skin doesn’t have to be showing, even just the shape of them under your shirt is enough. whether you have on shorts or long pants, he’s popping a boner because satoru starts thinking about your thighs and how they feel and resting his head on them before he’s then fantasizing about kissing them all over and eventually eating you out.
you could be eating a sucker, dutifully minding your own business and satoru’s eyes haven’t left your mouth once because his dirty mind isn’t helping his situation. all he can think about is his dick between your lips instead of some stupid candy. living with you is a nightmare because of how often he’s scurrying off to be alone and rub one out over the most minuscule of details about you <3
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prokopetz · 11 months ago
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Oh, you're a rules-light storygame designer making their first foray into writing a crunchy tactical RPG? Very cool. So: mecha or magical girls?
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fisheito · 7 months ago
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He's a magician
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transmascfalin · 5 months ago
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to me in a modern au, falin and laios grow up in a tiny little country town, one of backwater areas where everyone knows everyone. their dads definitely the town preacher or something. half the food they eat is deer patties and rabbit stew from the game their dad caught. falin comes out to their parents for the first time when shes younger. their mom says she accepts her but openly complains about wanting grandkids one day and it makes falin sad but she doesnt comment on it. laios never once came out to their parents, but he and falin talked about it for hours after she came out and it opened up a little box that had been taped firmly shut in his brain. falin did not go to the hospital for falling and busting open her chin, which bothers laios to think about but falin only remembers how many popsicles their parents let her eat while she healed. falin and laios can both run on sharp gravel barefoot, from years of practice. falin used to feed stray cats and would hide them in their treehouse. do you understand my vision
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megamindsupremacy · 2 years ago
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You know, our natural assumption is that Peter Parker is just SO genius and crafty that at age 16 he developed a web formula in his high school chem class that even twenty years later teams of scientists can’t replicate with millions of dollars in supplies and equipment but like. No offense to Peter but no 16 year old in a high school chem lab could outsmart 20 years worth of technological process+the greatest chemists of their generation+millions of dollars in funding. My theory is that Peter’s formula is so basic (but ingenious!), using such shitty supplies and equipment, that no scientist worth their degree would even consider trying to replicate the formula with his methods. He accidentally took the Glass Onion route to outsmarting these guys which was “just go dumber” and it’s worked for literal decades
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