#i hope i am feeding dc fans well with this (i am eating this up myself)

[acid-ixx]

prequel: again &. again. (platonic! yandere batfam x neglected! gn reader)

directory: prequel, chapter one, chapter two, chapter three, chapter four, chapter five pt 1

read until the end for an author's note.

what hurts more when it comes to neglectful batfam that adopted you after jason's death (that eventually turns a 360 after you have left) is probably the fact that they always had time for you, it's just that they never chose to spend it on you; an extra burden to their family rather than an addition. if they had time to spend, they spend it on anything or anyone else but you. it's not that you don't share interests with them, it's just...! they have way more priorities that push you further back into their list of 'to do's'; though you know you'll always be the last of that list.

bruce has to juggle so many tasks as the billionaire playboy "brucie wayne", a father of an ever growing family, and gotham's dark knight vigilante but somehow, you're aware he could easily fit in one or two more children into his already booked schedule— he just never seems to consider you worthy enough apparently. or maybe it was because you were too silent, you set boundaries compared to your other family who are outspoken about what they want, what they need— but there's one thing for sure that sets you off from your siblings; you're not a vigilante.

you were merely a child of a one night stand; a child raised too well. you were behaved, you never complained, and you were just, you. and being normal (at least in their level of extraordinary talents were you a mere droplet) amongst a family of talented individuals makes you easily a ghost. was bruce to blame with his neglect? definitely. if he was able to balance his life so easily, then maybe as the world's best detective would he notice you packing your things day by day without update. maybe that was why you never once hesitated the moment you stepped outside the manor, permanently.

dick's excuse would always be "sorry, baby bird! but i promised to spar with damian today. ah, but you can watch from the sidelines!" or he would be too busy saving bludhaven to even acknowledge your presence. sure, he smiles at you with those shiny teeth of his, but despite him looking at you, he never notices you for more than a second, right after he would skidadle his way to another sibling's room, bothering them to spend more time with him, never you though. it occurs to you that he has only entered your bedroom once, and that occurrence was years ago. even then, he didn't last a minute inside there before running away once more.

family matters more than anything to dick. hell, he was enraged at the announcement of jason's death and even beat joker to a bloody pulp when he realized tim fell into his hands. he's ready to defend damian, barbara, steph, cass, and duke with his life. it's his duty and obligation as the family's eldest brother, of course. but were you considered family to him? were you considered a sibling in his eyes, or were you just the resident roommate of the mansion? you question that endlessly because everyone, family and friends, seem to be smitted with dick, but you eventually gave up trying to vye for his attention. it's fine, really, if you were just another civilian to him, because he was just another person to you too. just like in a circus, you would always be the intermission rather than the main event. and with that, you take your leave.

jason was the most forgivable to you, second to tim. he was never there, and he would've probably put effort into spending time with you if not for the fact he despises bruce and the mansion and wouldn't and couldn't last a second stepping into it. he never met you when he was robin, it was only right after his death did he discover were you taken in and that added fact alongside tim being his replacement turned him bitter with resentment. though his hatred for you receded over time, he wouldn't really be caught taking a minute with you because he always sneaks inside the mansion and crime in gotham never seems to lessen. because of that, and your unwillingness to become a vigilante to kick ass with him and the others, he wouldn't be able to fully take an hour with you.

casual talks are unavoidable, though, when at the dead of the night he would be caught sneaking in to eat some leftovers and you were conveniently awake at the same time as him. he'll recommend you some classic literature he read or 'cafes/restaurants that criminals visit the least' lists, but before it would turn into a full conversation, jason would already be wearing his signature mask again, and with a pat on your head and a "talk to you soon, can't guarantee it'll be tomorrow again though, only here for alfred's meals of course," and he'll be gone. you shouldn't have let your hopes high, you wished you didn't because, duh! he wasn't there to talk to you, specifically. you were just there to bide his time! wiping tears away from your eyes, and with a heavy heart, you book an apartment away from the wayne manor with your own atm card; hope irreversibly dead and unable to revive a sliver of faith, even if it was dipped in the lazarus pit would it never come back as the same.

tim drake is always tired. just like bruce, his days are filled with investigation, crime fighting, and worst of all; high school. that's of course that least of his worries the moment he drops out. tim was never the guy to talk much. he only does when he needs to make an impression for others, or when he needs to manipulate people for potential information. his life revolved around fighting, from when he solved the case of bruce wayne and dick grayson being batman and robin respectively, up to his current identity as red robin and occasionally robin. he'll often be found in the batcave working with babs on a case or working alone in his room.

it's no mistake that you were the most distant to him, never once knowing about his interests or even hobbies and vice versa. it was a given that at the very moment you pass a glance at him, you knew it was a 'mind your business' type of relationship with him. if you were a mere ghost to dick, then you were just a spec of dust to tim. it was unfair to assume he would never care for you, he does! only in a way where you were another person to save if you ever were endangered, but would that be enough to stalk you to the point he gains every insight about you? not really. you weren't one of his friends, like kon who he would spend weekly video game challenges with; and you probably don't exist as his sibling in his own little world filled with coffee and computers. yeah, your feelings about leaving him weren't as bitter as the caffeine he drowns in his system, but you were still hurt either way.

damian wayne, from his birth, was taught and raised to prioritize his mission as an al ghul, to be the one continuing the legacy and to shed blood on anyone who opposes. when he was given over to bruce, it took a hell lot of effort to turn a new page and become the next robin. it was, with no doubt, that despite his 'redemption', he would be a tad bit crueler to you than the others. unlike tim, who he persistently bothers, you were untalented, worthless, and a stain on the reputation of the wayne's. even jason, his father's greatest mistake, had more value than you.

maybe it was fine-tuned jealousy, maybe he was mirroring his father and dick's actions towards you with his own sick twist of violence. either way, you would rather avoid the boy, lest you face the wrath of his sword. it wouldn't be wrong if you came to hate him, actually you do, but despite your endless game of cat and mouse with you as the unwilling victim of the chase, your poor heart couldn't fathom the thought of not excusing his actions as that of a child's. you tell yourself everyday, 'just ignore it, he was raised like as to be a menace after all' but you can't deny the bitterness and the clenching of your teeth whenever you stumble upon a room and see your father and your younger brother watching a movie together. the resentment eventually builds up until you blow up and just, give up. within your final moments in the manor, you figured to leave some belongings that you collected overtime that were supposedly memorabilias that you wish to show off to your family. like his pieces of art, you could only explain your life in the family as black and white and as bleak as the streaks of charcoal that rubs against the pages.

when dick was jogging through the desolate halls of the manor, he noticed the place seemed to be more... empty of some sort. and he knows pushing that feeling into the back of his head would only result in more questions than answers. so he decides to enter the spare rooms one by one until he comes across your room (he doesn't know it was yours, though), turning the knob without knocking.

that was when his eyes seem to dilate. his nose catched a faint whiff of bleach (was the room deep-cleaned?), vision seemingly closing in on the few furniture left alongside a diary and other boxes left neatly on your bed, with other smaller trinkets left untouched on your bedside table. he didn't remember you mentioning anything about leaving, hell, he doesn't want to admit his lack of memories about you but—

wait...

didn't he promise to take you out for dinner months ago...?

reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.

a/n: this is one of my favorite pieces of writing i have ever done and i like it a lot so i hope whoever reads this likes it too. if you all want to read more of this, then please leave a comment or reblog because i heavily appreciate it and it motivates me further to write this type of content! the reason i have come to a long hiatus is because, as stated, the lack of interaction with content. like i said, i will still write for genshin but i am open to expanding my fandom list. (p.s. i hope you like the way i had to connect their interests or a part of their past to the reader.)

heavily inspired by @klemen-tine's work: Glass Bones and Paper Skin, @gotham-daydreams' work: Not [], and @onmyyan's work: Ain't No Sunshine.

[thenightling]

Time will Crawl (a short Sandman fan fiction)

Time Will Crawl  

This fan fiction was inspired by this illustration by @artwinsdraws​ 

Disclaimer:  This is a Sandman fan fiction.   The Sandman belongs to Neil Gaiman and DC Comics.  

 Come!  Come! Come!  

 He felt the words as surely as he heard them, faint and echoing in the void.  Old magick.  It had felt it like a tugging at his very soul.  He was too weak to resist the pulling that dragged him down, down, down… Forcibly pulling at his essence.  

 He fell forward and slammed into hard flooring.  He was disorientated at the sudden presence of gravity.  He could feel the magick of the binding circle sealing him in, closing him off from all those who had a psychic link with him within his realm.  He saw them, the mortal occultists, in their dark robes, as they moved to get a closer look at their prisoner.  They moved like a swarm of insects.  He blinked his completely-black eyes behind the tinted lenses of his helm. The tiny star pupils the only hint that there was more than mere darkness to be seen in his eyes.

  He lay there, stunned and …and so very tired…  He had never felt so weary in his long life…   He had struggled so hard against the summoning magick and now he could barely keep his eyes open.   Someone grasped at the helm he wore with both hands. Someone was raising his head, carefully.  They were pulling the helm free of his head.  He felt his own dark fall around his bone-white face.  His cloak was taken.  Now he actually felt the cool, damp of the cellar in English summer time.  Never mind about the cloak.  That could easily be replaced.  He could conjure another… as soon as he was free he could conjure another...  

 He blinked.  The ruby amulet was snatched and finally the pouch that he loathed to be without.  He felt more naked without that pouch than without raiment.  That he could not allow.  He summoned what strength he had left and sat up to reach for the pouch.  He stopped as if there was an invisible wall in front of him. He could not pass the edge of the magical binding circle, which was on the ground around him, and he knew it. His belongings were just out of reach…

 So tired… So very tired… The room was growing dim and the floor was strangely inviting.   He fainted.    

 Trapped. Observe.  Threats.   Patience.   Patience…   Patience…

 It had been years since that first night.  It was midnight though it might as well have been noon down in that dungeon. There were no windows.  He hadn’t seen this world’s sun in almost twenty-three-years.  The only reason he was certain it was midnight was because he had become too familiar with the times at which his guards were swapped out for two new ones.  Their shifts were in six hour intervals.  Sometimes only three hours.  He could only guess at the circumstances that brought about the occasional change. Occasional holidays perhaps?  It did not matter.

 Mortals tend to have this lovely fantasy that time moves differently for creatures such as himself, being ageless and (for all intents and purposes) immortal.   If only that was that case…  If only he could blink and it would seem a century had passed.   No. Sadly, this fantasy was merely that, a fantasy.  As mortals age they perceive time differently from when they were children.   In childhood summers would seem to go on and on. As adults, however, whole decades seemed too short and so they imagine that is how time must be for immortals, an ever increasing sense that this or that passage of time was nothing to them. If only that was the case…

 No. He felt time. He felt time the way mortals do.  Time moved no differently for his kind as it does for mortals.  And in prison it crawled at a snail’s pace.  Perhaps it was even worse for him because, as the living embodiment of dreams, he usually did not sleep.  That meant the third of the day that human prisoners could escape their bonds by entering his world, he could do no such thing.  There was no relief.

       He sat on the floor of the crystalline cage they had placed around him.  The curved glass around him reminded him of a goldfish bowl or crystal ball.  How menacing the mortals managed to seem when looming over him outside of the crystal, where light and size were distorted from his quartz-crystal prison and shadows hung heavy over the glass.  

 Quartz crystal has innate power.   It can contain and confine magick.   It held him as surely as the binding circle around his cage.  They were clever to make his cage out of crystal.  Everyone knows most mineral and glass come from sand. Burnt and reshaped sand.  The thing that he used to sculpt dreams now worked as his cage.  

 He was hungry.  They had never thought to feed him and he was not about to ask.  He was far too proud for that.  And he would not give them the satisfaction to show them that he suffered for not eating.  It would not kill him but he still suffered for it.

He tried not to think about the hunger, that empty feeling gnawing within himself.  Eager to eat just about anything.  Even a baked potato would have been nice.  Do the English still bake potatoes? He wondered.  

He could imagine the taste.  The skin cooked so thoroughly that it was like parchment around the soft white inside that could be crushed by the pressing of a fork.  Flavored with salt, pepper, butter, sour cream.  Perhaps some mild cheddar cheese and crushed bacon.  He wasn’t one for heavy meals but this simple one that he imagined seemed divine.  He could practically taste it.  No. He would go mad if he let himself think about the hunger too long.   Try to think about something else…

 He thought of hob.  He thought of the smell of the Kerosene lamps and the candle wax in the late Victorian pub. The strange sense of warmth and that feeling that was the direct opposite of being lonely.  He missed that warmth.  That sensation of… not-lonely.  

He missed Hob…  

He thought of his own wounded pride.  The anger he had felt when Hob had suggested that they (Hob and Morpheus) were friends.   How foolish he had been to not return to Hob sooner.  Would he ever see his friend again?  

He longed to set things right- to do or say something subtle to admit Hob was right without actually saying the words that his pride did not want him to speak out loud.  He thought of the clever ways he could acknowledge that yes, they were, in fact, friends without uttering an apology or acknowledgement of being wrong.  He couldn’t dare admit, even to himself, that he was wrong.  And it was Hob’s own fault, wasn’t it?  He was the one who had to spoil things.  He was the one who had to go and poke at the situation and demand confirmation.  Why did he have to spoil it by making him have to call their situation a friendship?  

He missed him so much…

  Morpheus blinked.  He was no longer in the pub, storming away from Hob.  He could no longer taste the wine on his lips. His memories were as vivid and real to him as dreams are for most people.  It was as close as he could get to dreaming… remembering…

He was back in his cage.  Staring at the two guards just beyond the glass.  Last year there had been a different set of guards sitting there at this hour.  He had heard their names and he had known those previous guards as Bernie and Frank.

 There were usually two guards at a time watching him but one night Frank had to leave early. And so Bernie started to talk to him, which was surprising and different...

Both men had been stocky. Frank had black hair while Bernie had sandy blond hair.

 “Guess Velma’s finally popped.”  Bernie had said as if the woman was an over-inflated balloon.   He gave a short chuckle.

Was he talking to himself?  Morpheus had wondered.   He turned his head slightly at Bernie in a nonverbal acknowledgement of his presence.  

“Don’t know if you understand me but… you don’t look like you’re dangerous.  I mean no offense but you look like some scrawny kid.   I don’t care if you are some sort of space invader, they shoulda at least given you a blanket.  You’re human enough, even P.O.Ws get clothes.”

Space invader?  P.O.W? He raised an eyebrow. The man’s accent was American.

“You do understand, don’t you?  Look… I… Uh… I snatched the key from Burgess. I can get you out.  I’d thought about doing it before just… I don’t know if you drink blood suck the lives outa people…  I don’t know a damn thing about this…  But you don’t seem threatening. I could let you out…”

Morpheus had waited for the inevitable catch.

“God, I hope you’re not like the aliens in Wells’ Radio Broadcast.  I mean if keeping you here is the only thing stopping an invasion…”

Morpheus stared at the man blankly, trying to figure out what he was talking about.

“Ah, who am I kidding?  You’ve been sitting in a glass box for decades.  I’m sure if there are Martians or Venusians or whatever that are anything like you we could take ‘em.  Just… Go back to wherever you came from, okay…  If you try anything I know I out-weigh you.  Hell, Old Roderick’s kitchen maid out-weighs you.  Alex’s cat out-weighs you.   The point is I could throw you down flat.”

 There was a cat?

 Morpheus stood up slowly.   Was this a trick?   Bernie slid the key into the lock of the cage and Morpheus saw the crystalline panel move for the first time.

“Come on.”  He said.

Morpheus stepped forward but stopped just before he reached the open door of the cage. He couldn’t pass the circle.  He looked down at it and then at Bernie.

Bernie looked confused.   “What’s wrong?  Don’t ya wanna-“  And then he let out an anguished groan.

Morpheus’ own eyes widened.

Bernie had clutched at his chest, staggering back as if on invisible puppet strings.  The old magus, Roderick Burgess, stood at the entrance to the cellar chamber.  As frail and aged as he was he still had magick.   Burgess’ hand clasped as if crushing something invisible.  Morpheus understood the magick involved.  He was crushing the poor man’s heart.

Bernie fell to the floor dead.  He almost looked asleep.  

 The new guards arrived a few hours later…  

 Morpheus blinked and he was back in the present and in the closed crystalline cage. And again he could feel the pain of gnawing and distracting hunger.  He was suddenly curious about Delirium’s cuisine. He had never had a cotton candy soup before… or typewriter flavored marmalade.  He tried not to think about his hunger…

 These new guards barely acknowledged him.  The novelty of his existence had long ago worn off and his strangeness helped stave away pity and help secure his non-human status.  From his bone-white skin and sold black eyes… They could see no humanity in him and so they showed no humanity toward him.  

 How much time had passed?  He could barely see the wristwatch of one of the two men watching him. They sat in folding chairs in front of the cage.  One reading a newspaper, the other reading a pulp novel.  It was exactly one minute after midnight…

 Patience…  

 Wait…

 Soon…

That patience and waiting would pay off on the night the wheel of a wheel chair breached the binding circle that held him.  With the circle breached he could enter the dream of one of his guards.  And then he was able to trick his keepers into opening his cage by pretending to faint within his cell.   It had been a long, long time coming but he was finally free.

[the--sad--hatter]

Name Changing (4)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU, X-MEN, DEADPOOL

PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION -  Sequel to Name Calling

After merging with your bloodthirsty alternate personality things start getting a little dicey. You’ve got two decades worth of anger to sort through, a feral mutation to figure out how to live with, a biological father who you hate trying to teach you control and if your wedding planner suggests teal for the bridesmaids again you might just eat her liver.

Luckily you have Bucky Barnes by your side, helping you figure things out. What Bucky doesn’t know is that you have found an outlet for the uncontrollable rage, one that absolutely nobody can know about. If your friends and family knew that you were out slaughtering people in the dead of night while they slept, they might be a little annoyed. Wade Wilson is happy to keep your secret though, so long as you keep bribing him with Mexican food.

For as long as you could remember, all you had wanted was to be good. Now you’re seeing the temptation in the darkness.

                                         A Stark Reminder

                       Read the Exclusive Interview with Deathwave

                      Interview conducted and written by Kara M Pierce

Since her very public debut as the long lost daughter of Tony Stark, she has been the subject of much curiosity. Her story is a dark one, yet it’s also one filled with hope.

It quickly came to light that Miss Stark was far more than she first appeared and while she is in fact Tony Starks daughter, it is not by blood. Though after just a few minutes in her presence I am wondering if that is true. She exudes the same confidence and charm as her father, not to mention the same sharp wit. Having interviewed Mr Stark in the past I can confirm that both Starks harbour the same respect and fear for Pepper Potts as one look from the CEO can make either Stark fall into line.

Thank you so much for agreeing to sit down with me today Miss Stark.

Bold of you to assume I had any choice.

Thank you so much for convincing her to sit down with me today Mrs Potts.

She’s very happy to be here.

I imagine you are quite busy, does being Deathwave take up a lot of your time?

It does but apparently the bad guys have no concept of acceptable work hours. Someone should really start a labour union for them or something.

What’s it like being an Avenger and is it different from being a secret Avenger?

I used to just have to deal with Hydra and Vernichtung agents attacking me, now I have paparazzi as well but apparently I’m not allowed to blast them into smithereens.

Other than that, it’s not actually very different. Not having to wear the mask makes it a little easier, that thing was kinda warm.

How well do you get along with the other Avengers?

Sam Wilson, The Falcon is my best friend. When I first arrived at the compound he sort of took me under his wing. Sam is an excellent cook and he loves feeding people He’s also a great listener, he really cares about what you have to say and if you need advice he’ll do his best to give it to you but he knows when you just need to vent.

Plus have you seen the muscles on that man? Who doesn’t want to cry on those shoulders?

It sounds like you’re writing a dating profile for him. Are you trying to get him a date Miss Stark?

No... Maybe. Not that he needs my help, the man is handsome, charming, has the thighs of a god and is a superhero. He's also single. Just saying.

What about the other Avengers, are you close with them?

Well I am engaged to one so yes? We’re a family, all of us. I trust them with my life and they trust me with theirs. When we’re out there in the field our lives and the lives of the people we are fighting to protect rests in each others hands. That tends to form some close bonds.

So does that mean you’re close with Loki, the man who once led an attempted invasion?

Yes, I am. Loki was not responsible for that, and despite being controlled he managed to manipulate events so he would lose the battle of New York. He did the best he could with limited control of his own mind.

Loki was instrumental in helping me defeat Docherty, he helped us win the Second Battle of New York. He’s a hero, an Avenger and a friend and anyone who says otherwise can take it up with me personally. I’ll be happy to educate them on the difference between a hero and a villain.

You seem to have a protective streak, not just for those you know personally.

Was there a question in there?

I was wondering where that protectiveness comes from?

My father. He protected me. And I owe it to the world to follow in his example. He made a lot of mistakes along the way to becoming the hero he is today and he owns up to them and not only learned from them, encourages me to learn from them as well.

Speaking of your father, there’s been much speculation about your biological family.

Are you referring to the rumors that were leaked about Docherty being my grandfather?

Yes, those rumors have been circulating. Is there any truth to them?

Yes.

Would you like to elaborate on that?

Not particularly. Biologically, I was his granddaughter. He was evil, I stopped him. End of story.

What about the rest of your biological family? Do you have any desire to know about them?

What makes you think I don’t already know? My mother is dead, Docherty killed her. My father didn't know I existed until recently and he... he and I are working through our issues but that’s a private matter.  If his identity comes to light at any point I just wanted people to know he didn't know about me or Docherty. It wasn't his fault.

That’s fair. Onto happier subjects Miss Stark, you won’t be Miss Stark for much longer. Are you excited?

You’d assume I was excited about my upcoming nuptials or I wouldn't be getting married would I?And the Stark name was the greatest gift I ever got, I’m not giving it up. I’ll be Mrs Stark-Barnes.

How did the romance between you and Sargent Barnes happen? Who made the first move?

(Miss Stark is trying to contain a laugh at this point, Mrs. Potts giving her a warning look.)

He made the first move. He followed me about for months, begging me for a chance. It was getting quite sad so I took pity on him.

What about the photo’s that appeared to show you on a date with Captain Rogers?

Well, Cap was my first love but he’s too good, too pure. I had to downgrade.

So you settled for Sargent Barnes?

(The laughter dies and the expression on Miss Starks face is one of love and conviction, it is clear her feelings for Sargent Barnes are very real and very powerful.)

James is the only man I have ever wanted to be with and the only man I ever want to be with. He’s my partner in every way, he supports me even when he doesn’t like what I’m doing, he challenges me when I’m being an idiot, he forgives me when I mess up, he holds my head above water when I’m drowning. He is the love of my life I know how lucky I am that I get to spend the rest of my life returning his love.

What about the blurred photographs that appear to show you in the company of the Vigilante and Mercenary known as Deadpool?

Deadpool is a menace to society. It is my personal mission to hunt him down and give him exactly what he deserves.

Quite a turn around from the woman who once refused to sign The Sokovia Accords.

My refusal to sign wasn’t about the accords themselves but rather the way they were being used. Secretary Ross is a slimy rat and I would never cow to his perceived authority. (There is a short argument between Mrs. Potts and Miss Stark but Miss Stark insists we can print her opinion on Secretary Ross, though it must be noted that the opinion of the interviewee do not necessarily represent the views of this publication.)

Colonel Rhodes is a man who knows the value of bureaucracy and the importance of the accords and balances it with the public's need for protection. The Sokovia Accords are no longer used as a power play but are in place to protect the people who signed as well as holding them accountable for their actions.

It’s at this point in the interview I informed Miss Stark I had some fan questions that had been sent in and she immediately perked up.

I like the fans, they’re just normal people who like me for some reason. It’s always strange when they come up to me and ask for a selfie or an autograph but it’s inspiring. Hopeful. It reminds me that there’s a world out there that I get to help protect.

From Jess on Ao3: How did you decide that you wanted to be good, despite the evils you’ve encountered?

I decided I wanted to be good because of the evils I encountered. My earliest memories are of cruelty and you’d think growing up that way might have given me a twisted sense of morality but I knew the way I felt was horrible and I didn't ever want to be the reason somebody else felt that way. There was a guard when I was really young, he slipped me chocolate through the bars of my cell. He was killed for it when they found out. That's how I knew they were evil, even if I didn’t know the word. And I knew I didn't want to be that way.

TaraStudiesaLot: Are you are interested in any art form? Photography, painting, film or music? Like, does do enjoy any of these or are they still foreign to you?

Steve tried to get me into art but I’m more made to appreciate it than make it.

I like to take pictures though, nothing special, just little moments from life. I like being able to look back at the photo’s, they help ground me and remind me of the good things I have in my life.

Phoenix-whiskey-Tears: What kind of music are you into?

I hadn’t even been out of the cage for a full day before my dad introduced me to AC/DC. So I kind of associate 80’s rock with freedom I guess? I’m also partial to big band music from the 40’s. (It should be noted that at this point, Miss Stark is doing her best to hide her blush.)

Firefly-in-darkness: I wanna know more of your habits and little simple things like your favorite colour, movies, books, etc?

Red. My favorite colour is red. The Iron Suit was red, red is the colour of freedom, of salvation, justice.

Books and movies? I don’t have favorites per se, it’s still exciting and thrilling to see and read them, even bad ones.

HoneyBadger: What advice would you give to abuse survivors? And do you think you’d ever take on a protege or sidekick?

Well first of all, I have a sidekick. Bucky Barnes.

To abuse survivors I would say this, you already did the hard part. You survived. You are already winning that battle by fighting it and I know it’s a long battle, one you’ll be fighting every day for the rest of your life. That thought is depressing and exhausting and overwhelming.

But it’s worth it. The world is still out there waiting for you, use the pain you have experienced to see the world differently. See the beauty in the mundane and normal because after your suffering you deserve every single tiny bit of happiness and calm you can grasp.

What happened to you shaped you yes, but it does not define you. You are so much more than what they did to you. Their evil does not leave a stain on you and your future is not dictated by your past.

You’re warriors, Kings and Queens who deserve so much more than life gave you. Life and people can be cruel and it’s up to you now, to take what you deserve from the world. Be amazing, you’ve already proven you have it in you. Support one another, hold each other up and never ever forget that we are a thousand times better than those who tried to put us down.

Pydia Packmaster: What keeps you going despite everything you have been through?

Life goes on, the world keeps turning. And everything I endured can be used to help me make sure others don’t have to go through the same thing.

All the bad things that happened to me are being used as a force for good now. Like I once said, I was created to end the world but I’m going to save it.

Beansy: if you had the ability to change anything in your past, what would it be and would you?

I wish I had known I had a mother, maybe I could have saved her before it was too late. Maybe I could have known her. But what’s done is done. My whole life I didn’t even dare to imagine that I would have a future but now I do and I won’t waste it by living in the past.

ToastLuvr: If you could choose an actress to play you in a movie who would it be?

Jack Black. Next question.

BuckityBarnes: Who’s your Avengers Crush?

Black Widow... Obviously. If Nat would have me I’d drop Bucky in a heartbeat. Have you seen that thing she does with her thighs? That’s how I wanna die.

Sitting down with Deathwave was just as inspiring as I had expected. Since the details of her past were revealed to the world she has become a symbol of hope to people everywhere. She is a hero, of that there is no doubt but what truly makes her an inspiration is the fact that she reminds us all of what we can be.

Who you are and where you came from doesn’t decide where you are going to go. That choice is up to you and you alone. No matter the challenges you face in life, big or small, they can be overcome.

Setback only set you back, they don’t stop you. People will stand in your way but they can be moved. You are the hero of your own story.

We are all the heroes of our own stories.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

AUTHORS NOTE

This was mostly fun to write but there is a lot of of it that came directly from my heart. I’ve made no secret about how Docherty was based on real people who hurt me so the advice Baby Stark gives to abuse survivors is what I would say to those of you who it applies to and I mean every fucking word. 

If you are or were in a situation of abuse, be it mental, physical, sexual or other then please consider my inbox a safe space to talk if you ever need it. 

@nerdandproud-86 @harrison-shot-first@thejourneyneverendsx @thelostallycat @inquisitor-selvala@the-corruptor @iovher @kendrawr-kitkat @phoenix-whiskey-tears @the–real–wombat@buckitybarnes@fairislesheets@angieptt @meganjonezzzz@dugan365@fluffeh-kitty@memanda17 @krystallynx@theonelittleone@piscesbarnes@free-as-fishes@tarastudiesalot@captainamericasbeard@dropthepizza346@jaynnanadrews@likes-to-smell-books@drdorkus @life-wanderer@metalarmlover @animegirlgeeky@jsmith509@chipilerendi@nerdy-bookworm-1998@ericasabe@gravedollie666@madlykpopfan@l0kisbitch@mywinterwolf@sassysweetstories @life-wanderer @jessieray98@littledeadrottinghood @firefly-in-darkness @demonlover87 @jessieray98 @pinkisokay @chipilerendi

[thedancingwalrus-blog]

I am attempting this meme thing. I hope I’ve got it right.

Rules are:

·         Post the rules

·         Answer the questions given to you by the tagger

·         Write 11 questions of your own

·         And tag 11 people

 1. if you were Not A Mammal, what (other) animal would you be?

Could I be the kea-bird? I very much like the kea bird. You see I have a lot of admiration for any animal that has figured out a way to snowboard, have snow ball fights and also kill things several dozen times its size so it can eat their kidneys. :)

New Zealand is insane and I love it.

2. what AU would you kill to see someone write about your OTP?

Hmmmmm well first I need to decide what my OTP is.

I write a lot of different ships. Like I checked my AO3 tags just now and the biggest number I have for one ship is 3 fics. The vast majority of those fics are AUs so there’s a certain amount that if I want a pairing and AU I write it myself because I don’t expect other people to be interested in what I am.

I’m honestly struggling to think of one pairing to put down let alone an AU for them.

I would be like Golem and want them ALL. MINE! MY PRECIOUS!

*ahem*

I love Lena Luthor/Supergirl to a ridiculous degree but don’t have any particular AU urges with them.

I think I’d really love to see an AU where Alex Danvers and M’gann Morzz were a couple, a long, emotionally intense slow burn, dealing with M’gann’s PTSD and Alex’s desire for a family and everything happening on Mars.

Having just watched the latest Star Wars and the Doctor Who Christmas Special I’d also really love to see the AU where the Doctor and Bill show up right at the end of The Last Jedi and Bill’s incredible whirlwind romance with Rose.  

3. do you like crossover fics/stories? (e.g., blending marvel and dc?) why or why not?

Considering how many of them I write I don’t actually read a lot of them.

I like writing them because doing them well requires that extra level of thought: how do the worlds overlap? How do the characters interact? Is there anything from either world that doesn’t fit and can it be reconciled?

As much as it’s slow going I’m loving writing the Batman/Iron man crossover with my partner. For me fiction should be talking about something, no matter how light the story and no matter whether it’s publishable or not. I really like the way we’ve used Bruce and Tony to talk about different approaches to social problems, a sort of ground-up personal approach versus a top-down at a remove approach. I don’t think we could have done so well outside of a crossover.

But that extra complexity is probably why I don’t read a lot of them. With my health problems over the past year-and-change I’ve found it difficult to dedicate time and focus to reading other people’s fiction. And given the choice between reading and writing I’ll always go for writing.

4. what’s the last piece of fiction you read that you would recommend?

Heh, yeah I’m not sure what the last book I finished and enjoyed was. My difficulty focusing over the year has meant a lot of books were started and put down again, no matter how good they were.

I also read a lot of non-fiction rather than fiction.

Generally though here are some I managed through mental health problems and probably give an idea of how eclectic my reading is-

The Lord Peter Wimsey Series by Dorothy L Sayers.

·         These were written in the 1920s and there are some issues with racist language as a result. But by Gods they’re brilliant. Startlingly original mysteries that don’t always turn out to be murders, excellent, varied female characters, a mentally ill protagonist, a wealth of disabled characters, memorable descriptions. They’re worth a read.

Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie

·         Best sci fi book I’ve read in a very very long time. Excellent plot. Wonderful lightness of touch when it comes to world building. And an intensely personal, emotional focus. It’s essentially the story of a loyal soldier plotting to kill the head of their nation, not out of any moral compulsion or difference of opinion but because she killed someone the soldier loved. Powerful stuff.

5. your thoughts about poetry? Do you write it?

Poetry is excellent but I never write it myself.

I find it’s a wonderful way to summarise intense emotion. I memorise a lot of it (for which we broadly blame Saudi) and quote it fairly often. My favourites are Sassoon, Sappho and Rumi. I dip into Byron occasionally and I have a compass engraved with The Road Less Travelled By.

I’m also a big fan of the Sagas but obviously they lose a lot of the meter in translation. I’m thinking of trying to learn Lokasenna in the original because I think it would be satisfying to growl at people. I’ve got a copy of Beowulf in Old English that I go back to every so often to look at the language. One day I shall have the courage to read it aloud as it was supposed to be.

6. what’s one period of history (from any place) you find interesting and want to either learn more about or teach others about?

I have to choose ONE?!

I mean it’s sort of obvious but also I think the only reason this is counted as ‘one’ thing by a lot of people is bloody Western bias not taking the entire African continent seriously.

West African pre-colonial history.

For godssakes if you’re making the slightest pretence at understanding the New World you should know the basics. It feeds into so much Caribbean, Brazilian and US history. It shaped wars in Brazil and Cuba and Haiti.

It's also a wonderful contrast to Western philosophical schools. There are completely different concepts about deities, kingship, gender and souls.

And honestly? I just think it's really interesting and really under appreciated. I really love learning more about it and I wish more people learnt about it.

 7. salty or sweet?

Sweet. No sweeter. Sweeter than that. Look just pass me the fucking sugar already I’ll handle this.

Wait- This is about food right? This isn’t that weird American thing of assigning flavours to emotions and behaviours?

Are you trying to confuse me so you can take the coffee? I see through your cunning ruse and the caffeine is mine. Yes.

8. feelings about gift-giving? Enjoy it? Find it burdensome? Think it’s too commercial? Ritualized? Etc?

Well…of course it’s ritualised but that doesn’t make it wrong. Rituals are a large part of what holds us together.

I like gift giving. It appeals to the old fashioned part of me and I think it’s a good way of reinforcing social ties and showing appreciate of others. Sure it can be difficult, but I enjoy the exchange.

At least when it is actually focused on the person getting the gift rather than just some generic expensive thing for the sake of it.

9. vampires: yay or nay?

-the Queen of air and darkness

begins to shrill and cry,

Oh young man oh my slayer,

Tomorrow you shall die.

Oh Queen of air and darkness

I think it’s true you say,

And I shall die tomorrow

But you will die today.

10. what’s one trope you love and can’t get enough of, no matter the medium in which it arises (tv, film, fic, etc)?

Hmmm difficult.

I really like seeing characters who are genuinely very different, with different backgrounds and beliefs coming together to do the right thing. That's part of why I liked the Justice League, seeing very different people working together and becoming friends.

I also like complex villains. I have a serious weak spot for them. My favourite characters are often villains, Lex Luthor, the Joker, Catwoman- But I sort of have mixed emotions about that. Because it comes from....poorly written heroes essentially. I often focus on complex villains when the heroes are bland and uninteresting. I think a lot of the time that comes from people assuming that the audience will empathise with the hero and that they need to take more effort over the villain.

So when I write I try to make a concerted effort to make the heroes interesting and flawed and complex. Because otherwise why aren't we reading a story about the villain?

 11. are you a morning shower person or a night shower person? or the elusive bubble baths person?

I am an ‘ARGH NO WATER!!!! WHY IS IT SO COLD?! WHY IS IT FALLING FROM THE CELING?! THIS IS UNNATURAL AND WRONG!!! THE PAIN!!! THE INDIGINITY!!!!!’ person.

 1) John Boyega or Idris Elba?

2) Murder Mysteries, good family fun, awful and disturbing, dull- Thoughts?

3) Favourite mythology and why?

4) Is there a type of story you wish you could write but don’t want to attempt?

5) Never-fail feel good book?

6) Last film that made you cry?

7) Do you get carsick?

8) What’s the best plant in the world? Have you grown one?

9) Dosas. Breakfast food or lunch food?

10) If you were dividing things up into seasons from scratch what would they be based on and what would you call them?

11) What and where is the best time of year?

 @akindoodle, @phynali @thehungryvortigaunt @warclad (sorry mate I couldn’t remember what your personal blog was called) @bysamanthakeel, 

[xmenthefanficseries]

Sigyn MCU Headcanon - Part Four

This is a continuation of my personal canon-compliant Sigyn headcanon which I would like to write into a fan fiction but it would take way to long. So here are the highlights.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | TL;DR

Avengers Assembled Season One Episode 8 (ish?) to End

 Getting close to the end of the season, there is a really big battle between Avengers and Kree forces over some resources. Avengers finally get a win, but it comes at a cost. For one, it’s only a minor annoyance for Kendell. Secondly, it really messes with Sigyn who Peggy basically asks to run in and be a tank. She gets severely hurt, a human would be dead, but she’s Asgardian, she’ll heal in a day, and she saved some lives.

 Sigyn confronts Peggy and tells her that she can’t, in good conscious, continue like this. Sigyn is not a warrior, she was never trained as one. “You mistake strength for fortitude.” Sigyn knows herself well enough that she is a liability to the group if she is sent in like a weapon, or tank. Next time, she can’t guarantee she won’t freeze or make the wrong choices and get people killed.

 Sigyn: “I am not a warrior. It is not what I am. Who I am.”

 So Sigyn is sidelined in the story for a bit, we go through the other subplots and build up to the final episodes.

 Second to Last Episode: Kendell is ready to pull the trigger on the invasion, everything is in place and it should be over pretty quickly. He’s been using an exclusive restaurant in DC as one of his fronts. Guess who is sitting there, having dinner? Sigyn. He joins her just as she’s finishing up and ordering from the desert trolley.

 Kendell: “Sara, or should I say, Sigyn. I’ve had some time to look into you. Not hard, not many recent banishment's from Asgard.” Sigyn: “I would have told you my name, if you had just asked.” Kendell: “I’m sure. Now, let’s see. Banished for murdering one of my generals. Thank you for that, by the way. He was a liability. The power vacuum you opened up has been beneficial indeed.” Sigyn: “I do what I can.” Kendell: “Like take the blame for a crime you didn’t commit? Come on, everyone knows you’re covering for someone, likely Prince Loki. But then, that’s what you do, right? You Asgardians, you just love to liken yourselves to gods, don’t you? You each have your… aspects. Everything I hear about you, well, everyone calls you the Goddess of Fidelity.” Sigyn: “I have heard.” Kendell: “Sigyn, Goddess of Fidelity, loyal to a fault. Trying not to interfere with this planet, per Odin’s directive, even though he tossed you aside like a sacrificial ox. Perhaps you should have picked something a bit more… useful.” Sigyn: -holds in a laugh, as if Kendell has missed a joke- Kendell: “What’s so funny?” Sigyn: “Oh, just wondering if I’ll ever get over the fact that no one ever thinks it through.” Kendell: “Pardon?” Sigyn: “What is civilization? It’s groups of individuals giving power to others to govern certain parts of their lives. Warriors protect farmers who feed clergy who advise rulers who provide warriors to protect farmers and around and around we go. The links in the chain are tempered with the trust that one group gives to the next, trust that is bound together with the loyalty each has for the other.” Kendell: “What are you going on about?” Sigyn: “Now… what if someone, someone with an innate sense of how loyalty worked, was to, I dunno, pull at the strings of that trust. If they knew which ones to tighten, and which to unravel, why, they could make kings, or they could destroy them. Imagine, a Goddess of Fidelity, walking through a world, knowing who to manipulate, who to make question their loyalty, and who to confirm it. She could create an unstable precipice where all it takes is one word in the right ear and suddenly all of civilization is consuming itself like a snake eating its own tail (yay, Sigyn and Jörmungandr are the same thing! and Fidelity is such an underrated, amazing power, and if you don’t agree, bitch I will fight you (ง'̀-'́)ง ).” Kendell: -stunned silence- Sigyn: “Now, that would be something.” Kendell: “You… you wouldn’t.” Sigyn: “Of course I wouldn’t, not even for my King, because someone who understands loyalty to that level respects it well enough to never abuse it in such a way to allow the genocide of a whole civilization.” Kendell: -relieved- Sigyn: “Of course, there are always exceptions.”

There is a flash back to before:

Sigyn: “I am not a warrior. It is not what I am. Who I am.”  Peggy: “Alright. Then who are you?”  -Sigyn just gives a little, dare I say, Loki-ish smile.- 

What Sigyn has been doing, instead of fighting, is basically being the Natasha of the Avengers team. She has been going through and talking to all the ‘friends’ that Kendell has been making in order to secure his invasion won’t be met with a lot of resistance. She has reminded them of where their loyalty truly lays: their fellow man, their own pocketbooks, whatever it takes. Or in the case of one guy, all it took was a nice steak dinner and being that much more charming than Kendell could ever hope to be.

 They can’t stop Kendell from invading, but now he’s going to have a fight on his hands. He could just well overpower Midgard’s defenses, but good luck in keeping a hold of the planet. Because if the Avengers can’t save Earth, then they damn sure will avenge it. Totes echoing the Stark/Loki scene here. Sigyn will even rattle off the team. Not only do I love that there is an echo here with her connection to Loki, but it’s really the only way to say “and an actual goddess” (no one knows this but her and Kendell).

 The conversation ends with Kendell storming off but before he does, she smiles at him and says, “You know, invading a planet like this, the last thing you want to do is bring an army.”

 Kendell is like ‘fuck it’, I’m invading anyway. Cue final episode, major battle, lots of quips, but ultimately, the Avengers, led by Peggy, win. (Yes, Peggy does say Avengers Assemble at one point.)

 The final scene is the Avengers gathered around at Stark’s mansion. There is this air of yay, we won, but now we’re all going to move on with our lives because they have so much else they need to be doing. Hank wants to marry Janet (I guess they aren’t married yet, I’m not 100% on this) and stuff like that. Sigyn decides she’s tired of hiding in her apartment, she’s going to travel this world and see all its wonders.

 But if the world is ever in danger to such a degree again… they will be there. 

And the final-finale scene is Peggy typing up the paperwork, creating The Avengers Initiative.

 And on to season two… holy crap this taking up a lot of words. Someone stop me and save me from this madness.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | TL;DR

[the-firebird69]

and cork saw the new ones.  is sailing there shortly uses hateand of caa and is a bonkers loon.  and weak as hell  flies up now and yu see it. see him. and his ass fleet.  he approacheth and we fire trump says...blam blam blam tons down he is skulking..not hulking. and whew one more joke he whips it out bja says of hismelf fires alnog broadside one of the stoneships rips holes in it  and deep, not in though.  and it is hard...and more no. but ok softens and then wamo he is hit...blam blam blam firing on him.  and out now...tons follow and hit on exit.  tons saw it. and why. skulls head in and bja stops them.  huge ones aboard...and two ships come by its side and escort it out. and a third.  and it is on.  and then this...we see it a huge blip on the screen, about 4500 miles..and headed ths way and it is alive moving...and it is after them...ummm run. ok he says now bja led it there fine you asshole bja..it is after me he says no the ships are too small you kike that is how last time...and bja did it on purpose..and the Kaiju looks mean at him on the way in.  hits the Stoneships ignores bja.  and he sublty says i can hit you all...hits one ship a teeny one one mile long and gone.  and this is it he is alive there and here. tons of times. now it is becoming too late. oh boy a signal is him no. but ok we are weak bja yoou suck man you are a damned idiot. well crazy chicken ok and you start it each time you ass..and i head to you then later...and bj slows.  watches as poor trumps fleet disentegrates says it is for feeding caa..and all hit his now.  the faggot. Thor Freya Hera Zues i narrated teh first part the approach bja interrupted  hundred times got hit due to it.  we hit him now heavy.  and he approaches us does not see us...and we fire...and hit. he is down we are in Empire ships.  tons hit  he is out runs. and fans himself and runs into macs shortly...justin had it filmed found tapes of him earlier and all match he leeds it there. tons see him do it.  firing and leeding. tons of ppl.  and he says this your all dead to them all and then to caa and we hit him too he himeself.  he falls over on his ship. dead.  and is not up yet.  and the battle rages. and he is out.  nope up says this we are at war we are hit...and ye smacs and oh an emitter..there.  man i suck.  yup you do . and trump from behind.  escaped the monster with two the ones from the movie clip or one actually.  and fires.  bja is hit and macs fire tons do and hit his whole fleeet it is down.  tons down, it is in the nonilliion of ships down of his. tons and he wil be out shortly.  tons dead.  and they puruse.   we go right up his kazoo and hit and we like it very vulnerable position and hit. we are there caught up his are slower. and wamo we hit and wamo and wamo and wamo we fire rapidly huge huge hits. they fall. and are out shortly.  tons of hits and mean mean idiots fly out and try for us and we send fighters. these are rebels and they are mean...not my kind and not my rebels. no Zues says not his...and i say this anyone else not ours no Garth says, and not ours Bill  and Will say, no no not ours Justin says, and more too we all say this your not in your correct uniform you there bja..and i wear what i like..no you dont. your not they all say it out.  they tried today here i am working for them...and hey sit watch me die.  true too mac says they must.  anyone near you a  potential vic for your fat self he ads.  we use it they dont.  bja says.  and we say ths yu hope caa comments we say he is tired and your an ass to him a constant trhat to his life we hit you shut you down.  i thoutht so bja says and asks him and he says out. and there are other rebels who are not absolute disgusting pigs. and he laughs name one...and then dan...and ok. and trump.  and are at you hitting.  ssay some of your inflamatory stuff to piss them off and distract ok ok i shall bja piisses and hisses this out ok trump it is on you and your ellow bellied cruisers me and my hefty nothing..and fire away while the empire looks on...adn so what you dragged it here...we die then you in charge hitting me.  and you hit first kept it up in dc.  so what we are enemis and sorta frends. and your nuts ok asshole you ask us to go wo a fight we fight you non stop and are winning. we defeat you all do. you nuts.  and i swim out to land. ok.  bja.   everyone is hitting you bja we are there no rings of saturn nope we hit you now.  tons do.  you are out shortly.  and we hit you hard you see...and change your movie  your a nutcase want us al lgone regardless. you seeu s we hit you you die.  and now. and the empire hates you we do and all do. you should have stayed dead in australia but she brouht yoou back to do this probably, take you asshles out. ther ein the fat assed blmp ships.  and you ave a purpose to that.  skulls huh..non there.  and more too but failed.  and we help you ith the math no means no shutup shutup he tries you force it your an imp a loser we hit you  now and hard. billium tons of hits and it is like fireworks and well off earth and the moon and firing like mad on both sides. and bja is a crumpled ball on the bridge did not eat right all week. is a wealkling old s.  dies shorlty...andnope not seen oh as a fish boy mb.  but they are up no.  he prevented it.  is an ahole.  and then this your not a man a boy so explains your incescent wining and mac does it quite a bit anyways whining so you can right no your imbiciles for diling it we hit you for it...now your ships re within range bja we hit you now and you see where no. we look like empire apparently.  and fire.  hard heavy large rounds. your shps implode were loaded with gas to land and poison people. methane no.  and this is improtant gasoline fumes.  tons of it and we see you there on the bridge.  you yak.  tons of times. star killer ugone. adn out.  and you think it isnt...what else.  his ships explode. huge explosions for just air in them.  and we see it they say it about us we record itthe code talk now.  thn playback teh ansers..now and they say no no that is not right. yes es it is.  out the door then.  they go flying up after each ohter andd hate each ohter badlhy. it is on they say we fight. Thor Freya Zues Hera Olympus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bw9gLjEGJrw