#TO NERVOSA

[dreamdropsystemarchive]

we're getting bad again..

[imjustafaerie]

seeing a really cute skirt, or pair of pants, maybe a crop top, and seeing the only size available is made for petite people

and the feeling of being able to buy it and seeing it fit like a glove because you stuck to your diet and workout plan and got to your ugw.. think about how good you would feel about yourself next time you wanna binge and ruin it all.

[recoveryposting]

a little while ago i was talking to a friend about my ed and i dont remember the context but she said to me "I LOVE CARBOHYDRATES!!!!! I LOVE CALORIES!!!!!!" and i stopped and stared at my phone because i had genuinely never heard anyone say they love calories. like, even implicitly theres this messaging that lower calorie = better and that we should enjoy of food despite the calories it contains. and i was just floored that this was the first time i had ever heard anything like that and it made me feel so comforted. anyway appreciate your friends they are some of the most important people in the world

[slfhxte]

Coming out of the bathroom like I didn’t throw up until I cried🥰🥰

[life-is-wired-but-beautiful]

My own place to vent.

I've been going on 200-500 calories for a week, I've lost a lot of weight - however, I want even more. I've been knocking everything down with zero cola or lots of smoking disposables. I want to lose weight, I want to be beautiful, I want to be perfect.

[summerwages]

low bush oregon grape..

[motylek-any777]

DOBIŁAM

BMI 14.53

Życzę wam tego motylki🦋

[fuck-your-proana-blog]

I'm so sick of pro anas glorifying anorexia by saying how "wonderful" and "lovely" it is to feel empty. This feeling does not last.. there might be a very short "honeymoon phase" with your restrictive ED where you think you're being "strong" and "pure" by starving when you first start losing weight, but it ends.. QUICK. I spent 13 years feeling what they described should make me feel "pure" and "lovely" and I HATED EVERY MOMENT. I was miserable, I developed organ damage, osteopenia, lost a good portion of my hair, my joints and ligaments are destroyed, my face was covered in lanugo, my gums recessed so bad my skull was exposed- clearly that would be painful, and it was- it got so bad I needed expensive, not covered by insurance surgery, which was the beginning of my recovery. Starving is never worth it. Now that I'm in recovery sure I gained weight, but I also gained satiety from food every day multiple times a day (which I can confirm feels better than starving), holidays don't scare me so much anymore, I eat more and exercise less than I have in 13 years and life is so much better. Weight is the least of what I've gained in recovery- I've gained the ability to eat at restaurants, not always know the calories of what I'm eating, a sense of humor (now that I'm not constantly angry/irritable that I feel like shit 24/7), a better relationship with my husband, and all the little joys that food, especially holidays surrounding food, can bring to our lives. If you reach your "ugw" and get diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, it is not an accomplishment. It is a sickness that will destroy your family, other relationships, body, and mind. Recovery or death are the only ways out of anorexia, and as I've recently learned through trial and error, I do not, in fact, want to die. I want to live- to wake up next to the love of my life and my cats, to have at least 3 meals a day so I'm never running on empty; it's amazing. Recovery is worth it, always- anorexia never is. So stop promoting it as some sort of badge of honor; it's not. Recover while you can, because 1/5 of anorexics die- either by starvation or suicide. I've been closer than anyone ever should be to dying of both. Being thin is not the most important thing in life, it really doesn't matter as much as the sickness in your mind convinces you it does. So get better, before your body and mind are so ravaged by your ED that there's no way out anymore.

[imperfection-circumspection]

ED Group chat

I'm thinking of making an Instagram group chat, if you wanna join us ask.

From ages 15-24

Meanspo only if asked

[mydietcola]

Being extra with body checking today 💀

[dreamtydraw]

Hello there ! Today’s post is a bit special because it’s a game recruitment post.

For those who are unaware, last october I published a demo for my sapphic horror / romance game Apple bag. Since then i've been working on other projects but i now returning to wok on it to offer an expended demo release for this october ( Possibly for this year Yuri game jam ).

It’s this game :

I’m currently looking for :

Gui artist ( open )

-Work would consist of making entire new gui assets to make the game more polished visually.

Renpy programmers ( open )

-Work would consist of coding the gui assets as I am not knowledgeable enough to code it myself + Help reducing my coding workload by coding the dialogues and make the development quicker.

Sensitivity readers

More precisely :

-Someone who suffered or is knowledgeable about anorexia nervosa. ( open )

-Wasian person familiar with the struggle of double cultural identity, preferably Taiwanese / European. (Open )

-Work would consist of reading the script and making commentaries to ensure the content depicted in the story is correct and handled with care.

Additional position : Guest artist ( open )

-This isn't a work that is necessary for the game development but for game promotions. It would consist of having artist working on promotional art (chibis, simple ilus, doodles ) that could be used for promotional post ( ex VA announcement, promotional post, date announcement ). This position is more for fun and interest for artist who wants to do small amount of artworks.

The time frame this project will be worked on is august / october and most of the work regarding programming and commenting won't be requested before at least mid september. Additionally this project is unpaid because the game will be free upon release and I'm a broke college student working on this game by passion.

For questions you can leave them on this post or directly message me. For candidature please message me on my discord ( dreamty_dream ) or private message

Thank you for taking the time to read my post, wishing everyone a good day.

[imjustafaerie]

start working towards your goal, or keep rotting in your bed telling yourself you’ll start tomorrow. it’s your choice.

[recoveryposting]

every time i start missing how my body looked when i had an ed i remember i was scared to eat TOAST 💀💀 like i deadass had NIGHTMARES about eating toast w butter and jam. are u hearing this i was LOSING MY SHIT over TOAST bro 😭😭😭 im not going back to that are you kidding

[autisticnotartistic]

TW: EATING DISORDER CONTENT

When I saw the first season of Heartstopper, I had not yet read the comics. I had no knowledge of Alice’s work, and was unaware of any of the major themes within the show beyond queerness. I remember stumbling across the early hints of Charlie’s disordered eating and feeling crazy.

I thought for sure that I was reading too far into this scene, and that I was projecting my own past struggles with anorexia onto him. After finishing the season (in one sitting, of course), I flew to Google and found the comics online, and read them all that night (which I have learned is common within the fandom).

Within the comics, I learned that Charlie’s eating disorder was canon, and I sobbed. I cried both for the pain I had endured and from relief that I was not crazy. I wasn’t projecting my feelings onto him. I wasn’t making a big deal out of nothing. I was just seeing myself (and my struggles with mental illness) represented on television in a sensitive and compassionate way for the first time.

I remember hearing the lyrics to the song that played with this scene (“I didn’t know any other way”) and knowing exactly how he felt: that skipping meals and restricting was the only way he could cope with the situation he was in. It was the only way for him to feel a sense of control and power.

That realization awoke something in me: forgiveness and empathy for my teenage self. I had spent so many years blaming myself for my eating disorder, and hating myself for the medical complications it likely brought on, as if I had chosen to be sick… but that’s the trick of anorexia nervosa. It feeds into your need for control and slowly overtakes you. Charlie didn’t choose this. I didn’t choose this. No one chooses to have a mental illness.

Self-compassion and forgiveness is so difficult as an adult, because we look back at our teenage selves as if we were adults and judge ourselves by the same standards that we would now (which are often still far too harsh).

I was a child. You were a child. We were children, and we did not choose our suffering. I would never blame a child for relying on harmful coping strategies to survive, so why am I blaming myself now? I’m done blaming myself for how I survived horrendous circumstances that were out of my control.

TL/DR: Charlie’s eating disorder being canon taught me empathy for myself, and this is a beautiful scene with a perfect song choice.

[motylek-any777]

Macie b0dycheck motylki

Jak na moje bmi uważam że jestem strasznie ulana💀 moje uda to masakra ale robię ostatnio dużo treningów na nie i obecnie mam fasta 3 dni mam nadzieję że to pomoże

Chudego dnia motylki🦋

[lifeiswait]

I take control of myself, say a food that I will not be allowed to eat for 1 month !!

I will post my meals to you every day, From July 1 :)

🎀 Treat yourself 🎀