#THOUGHTS PLEASE
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For those of us who cannot comprehend big numbers (me) I have done the math. FOUR FUCKING YEARS. SECUNIT WHAT THE FUCK.
#the murderbot diaries#all systems red#murderbot#secunit#words#math#yes i write in my books. sometimes. when i love them a lot#on a totally unrelated note (totally)- if i doodled pictures of the characters based on their descriptions in the library copy of#Network Effect (in pencil only) would that be an asshole move or would it be a charming little treat for the next reader to find?#i almost certainly will not do it because i like the public library and do not want to offend them#but. in pencil. and only little doodles in the margins.#only like. one or two.#id be so charmed if i found somethig like that in a library book??? is that just me am i alone in this?????#thoughts please
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helloooo people in my phone if i made a substack would you guys read a weekly fictional newsletter 🤔
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Rereading TCP and what do you suppose Cardan meant when he said that? It’s just that he can’t lie so this confuses me. We know that Cardan is already attracted to Jude at this point, but also, also, loathes her. He also loathes Locke and yet tolerates him and knows he’s just playing with her. So… why does he think they’re perfect for each other? Is it… is it simply because he, at this point, just hated them both for “hurting” him and so he thinks they might as well hurt each other?
#thoughts PLEASE#jurdan#tcp#the cruel prince#cardan greenbriar#jude duarte#jude x cardan#tfota#the folk of the air
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saw a video that made me want to make a rapper!matt au and i’m kinda… like, should i frl pursue that? would y’all read it?
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Perhaps a hot take, but I hate the majority of queer TV and movies. Is it too much to ask for a gay show where we pretend that being gay is considered totally normal in our society, and they can be happy? Seeing rampant homophobia in TV shows frustrates me bc I know it exists. I go through it everyday. Don't get me wrong, I still think showing that can very important. But can I get a break from reality for a bit? Like give me a fanasty book where they just so happen to be gay. Give me a high school romance where everyone is chill and happy and gay together. I beg.
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What a difference a letter makes
One of the great things about the re-read is going to be identifying all those differences between the 1953 and 1959 editions. Sometimes, it's large chunks, sometimes a sentence, or even just a word. But I didn't realise until now, it could be one letter.
Here is Ralph talking about Hazell in the 1953 edition:
"I told him that the next time he came up to me for a beating, that would be what he'd get. He could see I meant it. I was surprised when he turned up a couple of days later. I thought he was calling my bluff. Perhaps that's what he thought himself. I don't know. Anyway he'd left me no choice. I hate the whole business, I don't know when I've hated anything more, so I got down to it without wasting time."
In the 1959 edition, 'hate' becomes 'hated'. I read that as making a general statement of ambivalence about beating children into a specific reference to the Hazell 'business', removing with just one letter a whole fascinating hinterland of Ralph's psychological state.
Or maybe it was a typo.
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This is completely random and off topic and probably doesn’t fit for tumblr but…
Am i the only one who finds this liltay come back odd??? With the comments people are making you’d think shes a grown adult. She’s literally 16 and some of y’all are just outing yourselves a misogynistic pedos.
Also the people who are like “body goals” and that type of sentiment, stop. That is just as creepy. NO ONE should be commenting on this TEENS body I repeat TEEN. She is still technically in high school please its so fucking creepy. What the hell happened to being worried that this minor is/was on the internet??? What just because she got older means your allowed to forget abt it???? It automatically exempts you from questioning it??? No it shouldn’t. The internet is so fucking creepy.
I took away the other stuff i wrote bcs i honestly don’t yet know how i feel abt commenting or questioning her situation yet and so i wont. Still stands that some of y’all are fucking creepy.
#lil tay#random thoughts#tumblr#i honestly dont#think many will#see this#but if you have#thoughts please#reply or smthing#it just feels off#condisdering is such#a long word
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good thing from jp twitter this week is queen of old man yaoi michiru sonoo discovering the term old man yaoi
update: somehow it got impossibly more wholesome
quick translation: おかえり: welcome home あ 終わった 終わった: ahhh, it's over! it's done! コーヒー? お茶?: coffee? tea? コ~ヒ~ ありがと: coffee, thank you~ ネクタイレア★★ ネクタイ取るレア★★★★: seeing him with a tie on, rarity level ★★, seeing him take a tie off, rarity level ★★★★ にあうな~: it suits him~
also please do follow: AraigumaSha: sensei's twitter account marureviere: maru, who does such valuable work highlighting bl manga for an international audience
#'this is my old man yaoi masterpiece' <3333#soooooo cute she is SO excited and pleased about it and so giddily interacting with international fans about it#and marvelling to japanese fans like: did you guys know about this??? old man yaoi \o\ \o/#psttt michiru-sensei you want to do a severance doujinshi soooo bad. please.#meanwhile foul thing from jp twitter this week is the man boasting about how he made deepfake p*rn of his girlfriend's best friend#because he couldn't stop thinking about her#and also he thought he was being such a Good Boyfriend he actually told his girlfriend about it#and he was furious she was furious#he was like women........ i'm doing this for the good of our relationship but women never understand our (men's) sacrifices#you know all those doombait articles about how japan is going to go extinct#maybe that should happen.#anyway. let old man yaoi heal you until then.#michiru sonoo#manga#yaoi#twitter#old man yaoi#queer#gay#long post#lgbt#japan#japanese
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#sza#twitter#tweets#hopecore#hope#🤍#affirmations#tumblr#motivation#self love#personal#mantras#solana rowe#music#reminders <3#thank you all sm hello#love you all sm please take care!!#dailyprompt#mantra#learning to love myself#reminder#reminders#life#thoughts
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#poetry#poetic#spilled thoughts#quotes#love quotes#poem#thoughts#literature#lovers#love poem#moon#counting stars#love#please love me#spilled poetry#ink spilled#spilled ink#quoted#poetry quotes#desparationoflove
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No glue, no borax. Just please
#this is a girlblog#live laugh girlblog#girlblogging#hell is a teenage girl#female rage#coquette#please#lana stan#girlhood#i’m just a girl#girl blogger#girly thoughts#girl problems#girl interrupted#tumblr girls#this is what makes us girls#lana del rey
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When will someone gently take all the internet food bloggers by the shoulders, look into their eyes, and explain that coconut milk is not a neutral-flavored dairy substitute
#yes this is quite a petty thing to be annoyed by but ????? it tastes like coconut bro#i am all for unexpected flavor combos but just please give some thought to how they mesh together!#culinary adventures#my posts
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OK THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL EVERYONE FUCKING REPEAT AFTER ME. THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL DO WHEN YOU WATCH MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL THIS YEAR:
You will navigate to the page on disney plus (and it has to be here. Unless someone has actually uploaded the REAL movie anywhere else you cannot get it elsewhere)
BUT YOU WILL NOT HIT PLAY. You won’t do it. Because it’s NOT THE REAL VERSION OF THE FILM AND DISNEY IS FUCKING LYING TO YOU AS IT ALWAYS DOES
You will scroll down HERE. To EXTRAS instead. You MUST GO HERE. This is non -negotiable
THEN YOU WILL SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE EXTRAS AND YOU WILL THEN HIT PLAY ON THIS BAD BOY: THE FULL LENGTH VERSION
And you will watch it. And you will thank me for having been so blind and led astray by that stupid fucking mouse. You’re welcome.
#I’m so mad everyone I’m sorry I’m going to make sure EVERYONE sees the proper version of mcc this year or die trying#literally this song is so important to the narrative and the film is so fucking hollow without it#if you grew up with disney’s bullshit version and thought it was good WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE THIS SHIT#please. please watch the REAL version of this film. it means a lot to me ok#the muppet christmas carol#for the love of god please people
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if you’re ever in the position to choose between giving up and accepting defeat, and actually trying to fight the ancient unkillable god that is about to peel apart reality like a string cheese, remember this: scientifically speaking, you might as well give it a shot!
1.there were trees at the beginning of the world! there were trees so long ago that they predate bacteria that causes wood to decay. when a tree fell, it would lie there in stasis and there wasn’t any way of breaking down wood xylem on a molecular level in that way.
2. it seems obvious to say, but wood eating bacteria are literally incapable of comprehending what they’re breaking down. It’s just not information conciously available to a microorganism. they don’t know what they’re deconstructing, where it came from, bacteria have no way to even fathom the existence of a tree as a concept.
3. Regardless of the facts above, the world we live in today is a world where wood inevitably decomposes
it is worth fighting the unkillable god no matter how pointless it seems. it is worth taking the risk even though youre trying to accomplish something impossible. the reality in which you live was also once reality in which trees didn’t rot. You live in a reality that allows for existence before the possibility of destruction. you live in a reality where uncomprehending microbes break down matter that is so far beyond the scope of their comprehension that it feels comical to specify something so obvious. you live in a reality that occasionally allows unshakeable physical truths to be altered with no warning.
It is worth fighting the unkillable god because trees are so old they predate the source of their destruction, and it still did not spare them. It is worth fighting the unkillable god because bacteria rots unthinkingly, because there is room in our cosmos for destruction without comprehension on the part of the destroyer. It is worth fighting the unkillable god because now and then reality retracts the promise of immortality without fanfare, and when that happens there is no mercy for the ancient. the unmaking is not softer for the desecrators ignorance. for all things, existence is endless until the exact point where it ends.
so you might as well try to kill the unkillable god. it doesn’t seem likely, but at the beginning of the world, trees didn’t rot. so you never know! you never know
#bazinga!#I’ve been meaning to add these tags for a minute but it was too funny to keep the original line bazinga tag#if you see this i would appreciate this post not be tagged as wornld building#and if you want to use this concept in your D&D campaign#you don’t need to show this post or anything#but if you would please mention after the plot line ends that the original post was written all at once in a pretty desperate state#i thought about ginkgo trees while walking my dog late that night#and when i found myself hopeless and completely alone at midnight#I opened tumblr and talked to myself#and hit post#and went to bed#then it got 2000 notes and i woke up to the realization that the entire time I had said bacteria#when i fully meant fungus#fuck!!!#u don’t need to say all that just please include the context that this is a very personal post#thank u!#I’m not mad it’s not obvious from the post that i was ranting into the void
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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