#THIS MAYBE THE ONLY READ I WILL EVER GET HER

[angievue]

flower girl ʚɞ billie eilish

in which you work at a flower shop and billie works at a tattoo parlour right next door

contains smut, degrading, dumbification, fingering & oral, ig readers innocent, unsupportive parents, this is really bad LOL

a/n guys i found this i think i made this three months ago for fun and OMG😭 also i’m on my phone so that’s why the layout is so ugly😔 i’m not even gonna proof read this cuz its so bad but i love the tattoo girl x flower girl trope so🫠 might re write this or make a pt 2 idk!!

You’ve always been a bit of a goody two shoes. The obedient type, always following your parents’ strict rules and agreeing to whatever your friends begged for, even though you never truly felt free. Your life felt like it was on lockdown, confined by your parents’ watchful eyes.

That was until you started working at a cozy little flower shop. The space was filled with hyacinths, lilies, and roses, and you felt instantly at home there. You could arrange bouquets however you liked and finally had a chance to connect with the world outside.

But what you liked most was the dark-haired girl who worked at the tattoo shop right next to your little flower shop. Growing up, you were taught that attraction to the same gender was forbidden, so now, alone with your thoughts, you can’t help but be drawn to her.

You’ve never spoken to her, and God knows when you will. You’ve only ever seen her walking into the shop every weekday at 8 a.m. and leaving at 5 p.m.

You’ve always wondered what she was like. Her long, raven hair and baggy clothes. You wondered what her name was or what color her eyes were. You wondered if she’d ever think about you the way you think about her.

But she had one flaw: her tattoo parlor somehow scared customers away. The loud music and her starkly different aesthetic made your beautiful flower shop feel dim and boring by comparison. You found yourself loathing her for it.

Today, you swore to confront her and send her a sweet message.

So here you are, standing outside her little tattoo parlor. The edgy music blasts from inside, and you can feel your knees getting weak.

You open the door and immediately feel out of place. Dressed in your cute pink skirt, white sweater, leg warmers, and Mary Janes, you stand out against the harsh red lights and black, dimmed walls of the tattoo parlor. You can’t believe you’re here—imagine if your parents saw you in a place like this…

You gulp as your eyes meet hers. She’s the one you’ve been secretly watching for months now. Her icy blue eyes and rosy pink lips make your stomach twist, and you bite your lip, nervously approaching her with your hands tucked behind your back.

“You here for a tattoo?” she asks, her voice carrying an edge that sends a shiver down your spine.

“Um… no! Actually, I’m from the flower shop… right next door,” you manage, voice shaky. “Your music is kinda loud… and, well, I’ve been getting some complaints from my customers, so… if you could maybe turn it down a little?”

You stare down at your shoes, feeling like a complete idiot as you mumble through your words, unable to meet her piercing gaze.

She lets out a low chuckle, biting her lip. “Flower shop, eh?”

You glance up, nodding with wide, blinking eyes. Her gaze holds yours, and you feel heat rise through your body.

Her eyes roam over you, lingering just a little too long. She shifts, leaning in closer. “Hm. I’ll think about it… if you give me something.”

Your face lights up. “Okay! Like… a flower?”

She laughs softly, amused by your innocence. “Mm. Yeah… like a flower.”

And that’s how you found yourself, dazed and flustered, barely able to think straight, hiding out in the tiny, employees-only bathroom tucked away in the back of the flower shop.

Billie was her name. And she didn’t really want a flower…

Your breath hitches as you feel Billie's fingers trace the curve of your spine, her touch both gentle and teasing. You shiver, unable to suppress a soft whine as her fingertips trail lower, dipping into the crease of your ass. Her voice is a low murmur in your ear, honeyed and dripping with promise.

"You’re so fucking eager, aren’t you? Like a dumb little puppy."

The words should sting, but they only make your heart race faster. You nod, too consumed by your own arousal to form a response. Billie chuckles, the sound sending a thrill down your spine.

Her hands slide around your waist, pulling you back against her chest. You can feel the heat of her body through the thin fabric of your clothes, and it makes your skin tingle. Billie nuzzles her face into the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply.

"Such a sweet baby," she purrs, her lips brushing against your skin. "I’m gonna have so much fun with you.”

You whimper, a desperate plea escaping your lips. Billie’s grip tightens, drawing you even closer. Her mouth finds the sensitive spot just below your ear, and she bites down gently, not hard enough to hurt, but enough to make you gasp.

"Please…" you whisper, your voice trembling with anticipation.

Billie hums in satisfaction, her hand sliding down to cup your heat through the fabric of your panties. You feel yourself growing wetter at her touch, your body betraying you with every passing second. She teases you, circling your clit with her thumb, making you squirm in her hold.

"So naughty," she mocks, her tone playful yet domineering. "Such a whore letting a random girl touch you like this. I bet you’d do anything I say, wouldn’t you?”

You nod frantically, your mind foggy with arousal. Billie’s fingers dip beneath the edge of your panties, slipping inside to find your slick entrance. You moan loudly, arching your back to give her better access. She thrusts two fingers into you without warning, making you cry out.

"That’s it, baby," she coos. "Take it. Take my fingers like the good girl you are."

Her words are laced with condescension, but you find them intoxicating. You press yourself harder onto her hand, desperate for more. Billie pulls her fingers out with a wet sound, bringing them to her mouth to lick them clean. You watch, entranced, as she savors your taste.

"Mmm, delicious," she murmurs. "But you know what you really need, don’t you?"

You shake your head, unsure, but your body tenses with anticipation. Billie smirks, clearly enjoying the power she holds over you.

"On your knees," she commands, her tone leaving no room for argument.

You comply immediately, dropping to your knees before her. Billie steps back, giving you room to maneuver. She undoes her pants with deliberate slowness, letting them fall to the floor in a pool around her ankles. Your eyes widen as you take in the sight of her exposed pussy, glistening with desire.

"Come on," she orders, her voice firm. "Show me how much of a dumb little slut you really are.

You hesitate for only a moment before leaning forward, your tongue flicking out to taste her. Billie hisses at the contact, gripping your hair tightly as you begin to lick and suck at her clit. Your movements are hesitant at first, but she guides you with forceful tugs on your hair, showing you exactly what she wants.

"Fuck, that’s it," she groans. "Lick it like you mean it, my little baby.

The harshness of her words spurs you on, your tongue working faster as you try to bring her to the edge. Billie’s hips buck against your face, her moans growing louder and more urgent. You can feel the tension building in her body, and you redouble your efforts, determined to make her come.

"Oh, fuck," she gasps, her fingers tightening in your hair.

She pulls away from your mouth abruptly, making you whine in protest. But before you can react, she spins you around, pushing your face against insf the wall. Your breath comes in ragged gasps as you realize what’s coming next.

"Stay still," she warns, her voice clipped.

"I’m going to ruin you, and you’re going to take it like the good little slut you are."

You nod, your body trembling with anticipation. Billie wastes no time, her fingers returning to your soaked pussy. She pushes one inside, then two, scissoring them to stretch you open. You bite your lip to stifle a moan, your hips rocking back instinctively.

"Such a greedy little thing," she taunts.

With that, she removes her fingers and replaces them with something much larger—her tongue. You cry out at the sudden invasion, your body shuddering as she laps at your folds, drinking in your juices. Her mouth is demanding, relentless, and you can feel yourself being pushed closer and closer to the edge.

"Billie… please…" you beg, your voice breaking. "I can’t… I can’t hold on…"

"Good," she whispers against your flesh. "Let go, my dumb little baby. Let go for me."

And with those words, you do. Your orgasm hits you like a tidal wave, overwhelming your senses. You scream her name, your entire body convulsing with pleasure as Billie continues to eat you out, driving you further into bliss.

As your climax begins to fade, she pulls away, leaving you panting and spent. But before you can catch your breath, she flips you over, pinning you down with her body. Her eyes burn with intensity as she looks down at you.

"Liked that, did you?" she asks, her voice low and dangerous. "How about we make this a regular thing?"

You blink up at her, dazed and sated. Part of you wants to protest, to say that this is so unprofessional and wrong. But the other part of you, the part that’s currently throbbing with residual pleasure, doesn’t want this to ever end.

"Yes…" you whisper, your voice barely audible. "Whatever you want…"

Billie smiles, a predatory glint in her eyes. "Good girl."

a/n someone do this trope justice or if someones already done smth like this LMK PLZ😫 i love it

[aquaticmercy]

Waste a Moment / Part 4

Summary : Bucky had always kept his distance, but seeing you get hurt on a mission changed everything. For the first time, he has a chance to start over with you.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x avenger!reader (she/her) 

Warnings/tags : Mentions of food. Cursing. Memory loss. Head injury. Reader used to work in a museum.

Requested by :  @remoony

Word count : 2.3k

Note : thank you for all the love for this series. Please let me know if I’ve missed tags because I’m currently doing it on mobile and I’m not used to it!

Series Masterlist

���Porcelain Smile”

Monday, the next week.

"We can take today slow," Bucky said, as if reading your thoughts. "No pressure, alright?"

It was your first visit, and a mixture of fear and excitement knotted in your stomach. Maybe this would help… maybe it would bring something back.

You nodded, grateful for his patience. He’d been so sweet all week, giving you space even though it was clear he’d been hurting too.

After a while, you get out of bed. As you make your way to the living room, you’re greeted by a familiar face. 

A former widow you could’ve sworn you’ve only seen in newspapers.

Yelena Belova was leaning against the kitchen counter, her eyes lighting up the moment she saw you.

"There she is," Yelena said with a hesitant grin, though there wasa softness in her voice. 

You smiled weakly, feeling both comforted and awkward. Yelena walked over, pulling you into a hug without hesitation. When Yelena hugged you, her arms wrapped tight around your shoulders, you felt safe for a moment—until the smell of her perfume hit you. It was too familiar, too personal, and suddenly you couldn’t breathe. 

She let go, stepping back with a smile, but you could only manage a weak nod in return. You had no idea what to say to a person who clearly loved you when you didn’t know if you loved her back.

"Don’t worry, you’ll remember soon," she murmured into your ear, though the words sound like more of a hope than a certainty.

Tuesday.

Scott Lang and Hope Van Dyne stopped by today. 

Scott was his usual self—at least that was what Bucky said—casually confident, cracking jokes the moment he stepped into the room like he was on stage at a comedy club, performing just for you. His humour was a welcome distraction, even though the memories he dredged up were cloudy at best.

“Hey, remember when we accidentally got you stuck in the quantum realm?” Scott said with a wide grin, nudging Hope as if the memory was a shared inside joke. 

He laughed at the absurdity of it, but when you shook your head with a soft, apologetic smile, his grin faltered just a bit— enough for you to notice.

“Right,” he stumbled, “That’s alright! we’ll make new memories”

Hope, ever the more grounded of the two, caught the slight shift in his tone and gently jabbed his side with her elbow. 

She turned to you, her eyes soft and sincere, her presence was calming in a way that let you breathe just a little easier. 

“We’re just glad you’re here,” she said gently. She didn’t try to fill the silence with more words, didn’t push for you to remember or laugh at the right moments. 

Scott shot you a thumbs up, his grin slowly returning as Hope rolled her eyes.

“Hey, at least I didn’t try to shrink the furniture this time,” Scott joked, trying once more. And this time, you found yourself smiling—just a little. A new memory, however small, was already in the making.

Wednesday.

Clint Barton dropped by this afternoon, a lopsided smile on his face and a pie in his hands, the warm scent of cinnamon and baked apples filled the room even before he walked in the door. 

The flaky golden crust shimmered slightly in the light, and your stomach gave a quiet grumble in response.

As soon as you took a bite, you slumped back on the couch and hummed, satisfied. It was perfect. 

The sweetness wasn’t overpowering, the spices were just right, You couldn't help but take another bite. 

“Laura baked it for you," Clint said with a casual shrug, as if bringing over perfect pies was an everyday thing.

And maybe it was. Maybe you just didn’t remember.

He lingered in Bucky’s apartment for a while, longer than you thought he would

“You know," he said after a pause, "if you ever want to talk, or just need someone to listen... I’m around." There was no rush to his words, no pressure, just a simple offer.

Thursday. 

Rhodey and Happy dropped by on Thursday, their presence steady and comforting. They didn’t say much about the memory loss, but somehow their casual banter helped ease the tension in the room.

Rhodey leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. "You still remember how to fight, right?" he teased, a small grin tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Happy chuckled from the other side of the room, finishing off a sandwich. "And drive. You better still remember how to drive. You’re not the kind of Avenger who has access to flying suits."

You smiled, even though you weren’t certain. "I think so," you said softly.

Rhodey nodded. "If you ever need a laugh, we’ve got plenty of embarrassing stories about you."

"Yeah," Happy chimed in, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Like that time at Clint’s old apartment. You remember that?"

You shook your head, laughing. "Do I want to remember?"

"Maybe not," Rhodey said, exchanging a knowing look with Happy. "But trust me, it was a good time."

Friday.

And then there was Bruce Banner. His visit was calming, his presence measured and kind. As he approached, squeezing in the low-ish ceiling of Bucky’s apartment, he gave you a small, reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.

“It’s going to take time,” he said, his voice low and deliberate, almost clinical in its precision. “But you’ll adjust. And the most important thing to remember is—” he paused, meeting your eyes, “we’re all here for you.”

Saturday.

It had been two weeks since you first arrived at Bucky’s apartment, two weeks since your life had spiralled into uncertainty.

More than two weeks now since the mission that went wrong. 

In that short span of time, the unfamiliar walls around that belonged to Bucky had started to feel strangely like home. The corners of his space, once sparse and distinctly his, had now woven pieces of you into their strands—a small bracelet Bucky brought from your apartment to fiddle on when your anxious laid the bathroom sink, a mug he designated to you sitting half-full on the coffee table, a pair of slippers you didn’t know you had was lined up next to his by the door. Even the necessary things were a sweet reminder that you were welcome here— your toothbrush set next to his, the extra towels draped behind the door.

These were everything Bucky had picked up from your apartment to bring here. 

It wasn’t much, but these little fragments of your life had started to make his apartment feel like a haven—a sanctuary. A place where you could at least try to slowly untangle the web of intricacies that had made its way into your life.

You might never untangle them fully, but at least you weren’t alone.

He had sensed your hesitation early on, of course. Bucky wasn’t one to miss even the subtlest of signs. He studied the way your shoulders tensed when you crossed this threshold of his home. He saw uncertainty in your eyes as you set your keys down (he had made a copy for you last week). 

You’d tried to talk yourself out of this reliance, tried to convince yourself that staying longer would be too much for him, too invasive. But each time he brought you more things from your place, you couldn’t help but feel he was gently insisting you to stay, as if this was his silent way of reminding you that you were exactly where he wanted you to be.

That evening, as you both sat nestled together on the couch, a familiar warmth blossomed in your chest, one that you have been getting more and more of over the last week or so. The soft glow from the single lamp bathed the room in golden hues, casting soft shadows that danced in rhythm with the flicker of the TV. 

You were both wrapped in a cosy blanket, watching a movie that neither of you could focus on. The sound of distant traffic outside mixed with the gentle hum of the film. 

You glanced over at him, his face half-illuminated by the artificial lighting. You saw the way his gaze seemed to soften when it fell on you. The corner of his mouth lifted in the smallest smile as he reached over, brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face. It was such a simple gesture, but the tenderness in it made your heart flip in a way you hadn’t expected it to

It was then that he spoke, as if he could sense the unease beneath your soft exhales. As if he could sense the doubt that maybe you were taking up too much of his space, too much of his time. 

“You never wanted me to be alone,” he said, “I’m just doing the same for you.”

You felt the sincerity in his words settle over you. The way he looked at you, not a single doubt or flinch in his eyes, so gently—it was as if he was trying to make you understand that there was no place he’d rather be than right here, with you, and he hoped that you felt that way, too.

For the first time in weeks, you let yourself on him, and it felt like the most natural thing in the world. You rested your head on his shoulder, letting his steady presence ease the ache in your chest, if only a little. And in that small, fragile moment, you found a sliver of peace.

Saturday, the next week.

Before you knew it, another week had blurred into nothingness, each day slipping away like sand through your fingers. The visits had become a regular rhythm, a parade of familiar faces that felt both comforting and unsettling. They arrived with smiles and stories, eager to reignite the memories you couldn’t quite grasp, the moments that felt just out of reach.

You thought this week would be different. Maybe the warmth of their voices would spark something—a flicker of recognition, a flash of the last four years of your life. They shared tales of laughter, love, and loss, hoping to draw you back into their world. 

Each narrative should’ve woven together like threads of connection, moments you should remember. Instead, they felt like echoes in an empty room.

“Remember when we...” they would begin, their eyes bright with anticipation. But all you could do was smile weakly, nodding along.

It wasn’t long before you felt the weight of their expectations pressing down on you. People kept implying that you would eventually remember, that the fog would lift.

Deep down, you felt the truth settle like a knot in your heart.

But you won’t. 

It’s not coming back. 

You knew it.

Even the doctors had delivered their verdict with grim professionalism just earlier today, their words lingering like a bitter aftertaste. "It would take a miracle," they had said with a mix of sympathy and resignation.

They had pitied you. 

You sat in the guest room for a while, the faint sounds of Bucky cooking dinner drifting in from the kitchen. He was taking care of you, doing his best to help.

How do you even begin to tell him it’s not coming back?

Sunday.

That evening, his apartment felt quieter than ever.

Bucky sat beside you on the couch, his hand resting gently on your knee as you both watched. The sun sunk below the horizon through the window. 

You take a deep breath, trying to push the words past the lump in your throat. "Bucky, I..." Your voice faltered.

Bucky’s fingers tightened around the handle of his mug, his knuckles turning white for a brief moment. You watched him closely, noting the way he tensed whenever you mentioned the past, as if he were bracing for a blow you couldn’t deliver.

"I don’t think it’s ever coming back."

The admission hangs in the air, the verdict final. You've been trying to push that thought away for days, clinging to the hope that things would somehow snap back into place, that your mind would unlock the memories of the last four years. 

Deep down, you knew that’s not going to happen. And now, saying it out loud makes it feel real. Permanent.

Tears stung your eyes. Your voice started cracking as you continued, "I feel like everyone has been waiting for me, and I’m just letting everyone down."

Bucky pulled you closer, his strong arms wrapping around you protectively. At first, the tears came slow, unwilling, as if your body was fighting against it. 

Then, after a shaky breath, the sobs ripped through you before you could stop them, your body folding in on itself.

Bucky’s arms were around you in an instant, holding you so tightly it almost hurt. You clung to him, but he didn’t flinch. His grip only tightened, his voice a low murmur in your ear, promising you were safe even as the world around you crumbled.

He rested his chin on top of your head, rocking you ever so slightly, trying to soothe the ache inside you. 

"You don’t owe anyone anything.” His voice was soft, steady.

You bury your face deeper into his chest, the fabric of his shirt damp with your tears. "But I feel like I’ve lost something important."

Bucky tightened his grip on you, his heart breaking. He held back his thoughts, not telling you that part of him was glad you didn’t remember. 

An ache that had been building for two weeks appeared again in his chest— relief mixed with shame. He hated himself for even thinking that way, but he couldn’t deny that the clean slate, this second chance, felt like a small mercy settling in the middle of all this dust. 

But he couldn’t tell you that. He only held you closer, whispering reassurances you deserved to hear.

-to be continued…

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[batchilla]

False Accusations (You know I KNOW right? Chapter Two)

Let me first say thank you for all the kind reception part one received. It was … a surprise, and a welcome one.

Also, a massive thank you to @sunnie-angel for beta reading. If you haven’t read their work… Do yourself a favor and check out their masterlist!

This Chapter takes place over a few days in two mini stories., and I would appreciate being told if at any point this causes confusion. Currently how I’ve done it is as tilted segments. Content warning: this chapter has themes of sexual harassment in the workplace up to the point of groping (from an OC), and corruption. Proceed with caution. Be safe.

The morning after. You are going to murder your partner, Grayson. Perhaps with a gun. Maybe your own two hands. Or maybe you just need coffee.

It's probably the coffee thing. Coffee, then you’ll decide if you're going to kill him and how. As you sit at your table, surrounded by notes you’d made at 4am, the urge to throttle Grayson slowly subsides. You hadn’t slept a wink. You’d had a weird night. But if you were going to do this, help him find this killer… you’d need a plan for if it all goes to hell. A diversion. A plan so that if you’re made, maybe the killer will think you’re on the wrong track. A dummy investigation. But simultaneously one that you won’t overthink, so that you can devote your time and brainpower to the truth. Luckily for you, you have the perfect person to pretend to accuse. After all, your partner, Grayson, is an incredibly weird guy. 8:55 am finds you walking into the station sipping your third coffee of the morning, only to find Grayson sat at his desk. Shirt pressed, tie perfect, hair shampoo commercial glamourous yet slightly messy. The urge to murder your partner returns, just a little. How dare he be so… normal? So unaffected? How dare this man fight crime by night, and be smiling at you as he is now, chipper and bright and perfect, before 9am? The nerve. Maybe you could hit him with a patrol car and claim it was an accident. “Morning detective… Long night?”

Oh.. This fucker. Your partner, Grayson, is the most annoying man alive. You hate how badly you have to fight the urge to grin at the sheer audacity.

She looks exhausted, the poor thing. Dick remembered the feeling, but at some point he’d adapted to running on less sleep than was by any means reasonable. He hoped she wouldn’t need to. That this would be over in a few weeks and she’d be back to getting a full eight hours. “Morning Detective… Long night?” She glares at him like he’s caused personal offence. He raises an eyebrow at her to prompt a response. Inside though, he panics. Had he done something wrong? Could she suspect? No. no of course not. But whatever she said next would surely be important. It was a test of sorts. What would she say she’d spent the night doing? Would she betray his alter ego? Could she sell the lie if she didn’t? “Just had a night in, had a little too much to drink,” she shrugs, opening her bag and removing a notebook. Casual, calm, partially true and nearly impossible to disprove short of a blood test or breathalyser, and even then there was deniability. Dick nods, and looks back down to his computer to hide the grin that splits his face in half. He knows he can’t dwell on it, knows he can’t act on it, but it’s completely unfair that she was that smooth. That helpful. She’d agreed to help him - as Nightwing - instantly. Her words about how Blud owed him a debt had played in his mind on loop for the rest of his patrol. He knew what it felt like to fly. To flip through the air at dizzying heights, gravity a mere afterthought. It was cruel, frankly, that he’d found someone who made him feel even better than that, only for her to be someone he couldn’t be with out of principle and professionalism. It wasn’t that he objected to her as a partner - short of his family, she was possibly the best he’d ever met. Frankly, if she was transferred to Gotham, the bat signal would be turned on far less frequently. And he didn’t object to rules about dating fellow officers, especially one’s partner. Objectively it made sense. But it didn’t change the fact that her smile was the best part of his day. That on the rare times she laughed he could swear he heard an angel just straight up quit its position in the heavenly chorus out of pure envy. That when she’d said she’d help he’d wanted nothing more than to grab her face and kiss her till she was breathless. But he can’t. Or at least Dick Grayson can’t. A new voice breaks him from his spiralling thoughts. “Detective Grayson.” The man standing behind his partner's desk has a hand on the back of her seat, preventing her from swivelling around. 

“We haven’t met yet, I’m Sergeant James McElroy. Seems you spent most of my first day back stuck on a stakeout.” “Pleasure.” he responds, with all the charm he’s learnt to use at galas and parties, forcing down the venom incurred by the way his partner had seemed to lose a gallon of blood at the sound of his voice, and the way she had seemed not to breath since the name was spoken.

He's not touching you. Of course not. He knows better than to do anything so blatant. It's how he’d gotten away with it for so long last time. He doesn’t touch you, or say the things he was so clearly thinking. He would masterfully walk the line between making you feel unsafe, alone, and naked, while never crossing over into anything actionable. Till one day he had. It had been in a crowded lift where he’d used the crush as an excuse to grab and to feel, whispering something vile in your ear. 

He’d figured he’d gotten away with it when you tried to tell your captain and he’d asked if you had a witness. You’d thought he’d gotten away with it too. Till a uniformed officer, Janet Rodwell, had stepped up to have your back. You should have known, really. For the second time in 24 hours you feel like a fool. But while the first time it had been accompanied with a dizzying realisation of love, this time the realisation is dark and chilling to your core. You’d thought you’d won, that it was over. But he’s back and he’s not touching you, but you feel the ghost of his hands all over. You can’t win. He’d been sent away and you thought you were safe again, but he’s back and he’s a sergeant now. Because Bludhaven, as it is, rewards men like him. You can’t bring yourself to look over your shoulder at him, so you look straight ahead, across your desk and to your partner’s adjoining one.

It's not Dick Grayson’s eyes you meet though. They aren’t cheerful, carefree and beautiful. Well, they are beautiful. But they are angry, intelligent, and fierce. You meet Nightwings gaze, and you feel the claws around your lungs relax, even if they do not recede. 

His partner did not rattle easily. Did not panic unnecessarily. 

Pinned down by the Penguin’s smugglers, he’d thought their goose had been cooked unless he could work at his true capacity, so he had shot out the lights and gotten to work. He’d taken out nine, but been unable to find the tenth, until he’d heard the struggle. 

She’d taken him down blind, without drawing her gun. When he’d asked her why she hadn’t, she’d told him she’d lost sight of him in the chaos, and was unwilling to risk it. He wished he hadn’t shot the light out so he could have seen it. 

Still, he had been oblivious. It had hit him like a batarang to the face last night, in that moment where she agreed without hesitation to help him find a serial killer. He’d known she was beautiful, and brilliant. That he had a crush. 

He’d realised last night he was in far, far deeper trouble than that. So, if she was frightened and upset by the presence of this man, then Dick would take his looming over her as a serious threat. He trusted her gut. “You haven’t introduced yourself to my partner, Detective—-” He’s cut off with a dismissive wave that boils his blood. “Oh we’ve met. In fact, she was my partner first. Until the misunderstanding.” There are many ways to snap someone out of a panic. He’s seen sheer rage do it many times. As it does now. “There was no misunderstanding,” she says, her voice firm, her teeth gritted. “Well. I want you to know-” he moves from directly behind her, to her side, leaning down over her, invading her space. Dick wanted to hit him. “I understand that what I did could have been seen as invasive, and you may have felt that I overstepped. I have completed a course, as demanded by HR, and will attempt not to cause you to feel that I have been inappropriate again.”

She takes a deep breath. He can practically hear her count in his head. He stands, moving around the desk to stand beside her, not quite a barrier but a comforting presence, or at least he hoped. “Well. Whatever occurred, we have work to be getting on with, if you don’t mind.” It takes a great deal of the restraint his training has given not to add the words ‘you bastard’, or something far more creative. “But of course. Detective. Detective.”  

Your hands shake as you sit back down in your seat. Your partner, Grayson, returns to his own, his gaze - Richard’s gaze, never leaving your face, crumpled in concern. “I don’t want to overstep… but are you alright? What … did he do?” “I…” you want to tell him, in part. Or maybe you don’t, and you want him to know without having to go through the ordeal of rehashing it all. Maybe by consulting whatever ‘oracle’ he used as nightwing. But you can’t right now. So you don’t. “I… need some air.” Your partner just gives you a comforting smile, a nod, and lets you leave without question. Wingding in the window 

It's five days later, on his patrol, when he notices it. The wingding left in her window. He stops on the roof of the building adjacent to her. As far as city roofs go, this one’s relatively nice. Someone’s placed some potted plants around, in an eclectic attempt at a rooftop garden. Some of these pots contain small pebbles as cover for the soil from the wind. Grinning to himself, he takes a handful. 

Was this a good idea? No. 

Was it deceptive? Well, no more than anything else he did as Nightwing… well, maybe a little more. 

But it hurt, holding her at arm's length, when a part of his soul he tried to ignore yearned to be as close as she would allow. He knows it’s not good. He knows it’s a violation of the utter trust she seems to hold in Nightwing. Really, it would only make things even more messy for his chances as Dick. But he wants to make her smile. Blush, even. He knows she finds him attractive, and in both contexts, but he wants more than that. Over the last week he’s realised just how much he wants to have with her, and it terrifies him. 

If it was simple lust he could deal with it.  But it wasn’t, and so here he was, about to attempt the cheesiest move known to hallmark films, just to see if it would make her laugh at him again. 

He’d managed to be professional while surrounded by highly capable, badass women in skintight clothes for most of his life. He’d had crushes before and gotten over them. He wanted everything with her. And that was not something he knew how to handle, given the mess of their situation. Dick shakes his head, snapping himself out of his doom spiral. He had a detective to meet, and a serial killer to find.

Bap. Bap. Bap. You look up from your book. You’d been getting ready for sleep, wearing your cosy pyjamas, curled up in bed with a book and a hot chocolate. You go still, listening. Bap. Bap. A pause. Then, the rap of knuckles on glass. “I ran out of rocks”

You know that voice. “With you in a moment.” You pull on a dressing gown, and take a moment to curse the fact that your slippers are rabbits before pulling the curtains aside. Nightwing is crouched on your windowsill. You lift it, stepping back as he enters through the window with all the grace of a cat. You know that you shouldn’t be embarrassed to be in your pyjamas, it's late, you had no means of knowing when he’d arrive. But he looked divine in that suit. An adonis. And you're in your old bathrobe and bunny slippers. Truely, you must have done terrible things in a past life. “Nice footwear.” Nightwing says with a smirk. Curse him. Curse his cheekbones and the way his lips look so damn inviting. “You picked up what, five rocks?” you sass right back. Nightwing makes a noise you suspect was supposed to be a scoff, but is more of a squeak. “Do you see a lot of pocket space on this?” 

“Fair.” you say, leading him out of your bedroom and into your living room. He sits on your couch, one leg spread wide, the other’s ankle resting on its thigh, as you open a drawer on your coffee table and produce your masterpiece. Nearly five metres of red string. Names, photos, dates, all studded with pins so pressed so tightly in they haven’t a prayer of accidental removal. You prop it up on the coffee table. 

Maybe your friends were right. Maybe you did need to touch grass. A line of thought for later. You look at Nightwing, who’s no longer relaxed and laying back on your sofa like he owned the place. 

Its years of maintaining a poker face in interrogations and more recently, dealing with his shenanigans that prevents you from grinning. 

He's as pale as you’ve ever managed to see him, and leaning forward now, elbow on knee and chin in hand. “Well, this is… impressive.” He sounded like he’d inhaled helium. “Shall we start with Sergeant McElroy?” you offer, smiling your best ‘there’s nothing wrong’ smile, enjoying making him squirm. “You seem to have … a significant amount of evidence against Detective Richard Grerson?” You fight the urge to roll your eyes as you take a ruler, poking your picture of him between the eyes. You hadn’t planned to do him first, you’d hoped to discuss evidence that would actually lead somewhere. 

This was still going to be fun though. You take a deep breath, and pause for a suitable level of dramatic effect, and begin your game. 

“Detective Richard Grayson. He’s my partner. He’s an excellent detective, and a good man. You might have heard of the charity he founded.” Nightwing makes a noncommittal humming noise. “But is it all too good to be true?” you ask, moving to your first notecard. “Exhibit one. He asked about the file. On its own, innocuous. But then, exhibits two through four. He’s prone to frequent disappearances on cases. He often knows a little too much about the criminal underside of Blud. Things that I have triple checked are not in any police database.”

You run a hand through your hair. “He’s a highly trained combatant. I once saw him take down nine men armed with guns, in the dark. They don’t teach that at the police academy.” “No? No.” Nightwing says, clearing his throat. “I mean yes. That is… suspicious.” “Incredibly. Which brings me to exhibit five. Now I’m no behavioural analyst or shrink. But I know my basics. Childhood trauma and instability can have… lingering impacts. I… don’t feel the need to dredge up his past, but I did look into it… and it’s grim. He was then taken in by Bruce Wayne. His relationship to his father, whatever it is, is something he’s even tighter lipped about then… everything else honestly. It’s not on the board because it’s circumstantial at best… but he has this skill of being able to hold long conversations and yet you come away not having learnt anything deeper about him.” 

He was pretty sure he’d been nodding for a good thirty seconds at this point.  

It would be funny if it didn’t hurt so much. 

The worst part was that it was all well reasoned. Practical. He had done everything she accused him of. She had just drawn a far more down to earth conclusion, that he was a corrupt cop, rather than Nightwing. 

It made sense. Too much sense. How could he shut this down without seeming invested in his own innocence? 

That isn’t what causes his lungs to burn though. No. The root of that was that even if he’d forced himself to maintain a professional - if friendly - distance from her, he would have hoped that she trusted him. 

But in this moment, looking at the evidence, looking at her holding that ruler to his photo’s face like a judge's gavel ready to condemn… he knows. He knows that she will never look at Dick the way she does as Nightwing, happy to see him, believing in his mission, ready to help as soon as he’d asked. Even if he clears himself of this crime, she would surely suspect him of others. 

He’d known it, at least on one level, ever since he’d first met her. He knows it now all the deeper, and he wants to scream. Dick Grayson will never get to tell her how truly wonderful she is.

How highly he regards her. 

How she is one of the reasons he keeps fighting for Bludhaven. 

Dick Grayson will never get to tell her that he loves her. 

But… perhaps Nightwing could have something. Because if she was his north star, then the way he’d felt when she agreed to help him had been like being engulfed by a supernova. 

If she was water, then seeing her cosy and ready for bed and smiling as she let him in through the window had been an oasis in the Sahara. 

If music was the food of love, her attempts not to laugh and stifled giggles over his peeps popcorn had been a symphony orchestra. 

But he’d never have her as himself. Not at all. Nightwing though? She at least found him attractive. Aligned with his ideology. No, he’d never feel that warmth of 10,000 stars directed at the real him. 

No, he’d never be able to be quenched by her life saving presence. 

No, he’d never feel her laughter shaking his bones as if in a musical crescendo.

But even the dimmest and most distant star gave off some light.

Even the last drop in an empty water skin was better than nothing.

Even the memory of a melody could be sweet. True, he would only ever have scraps of her affection. True, he could flirt, and perhaps go even further… but he’d never truly be with her. 

But who was a starving man to deny scraps of sustenance? He’d take what he could have and try to ignore the lingering hunger. 

“Perhaps we should discuss… another suspect?” he prompts, realising how long he’s been silent. How long she had been too, watching him with a strange, concerned look.

She nods, and moves on to their Captain.

Dick is almost relieved when some ten minutes later Oracle calls in a robbery downtown. “Well - sorry Sherlock.” He takes a picture of her board for further study. “I’ll be around next week to continue this discussion, and look over this in my own time till then. Duty calls.” “Be safe,” She says softly, as he’s halfway through the window He looks over his shoulder. “As you wish.”

Taglist: @jasontoddproblems

@sunnie-angel

@stormz369

@love-theangel-blog

@torchbearerkyle

@interwebseriesfan24

@love-theangel-blog

@alwaysnervouswitchprince

@underlinekasis

@tiredsleepyandreading

@soradragon Banner credit is to @strangergraphics

If you would request to be added to my taglist, please reblog the fic. Honestly please just reblog it anyway? I worked hard on this. Nothing more demotivating than a fic getting only likes. If you want part three, reblog part two. 

[katelynnwrites]

kisses to my exes | laura freigang

warnings: ~

word count: 562

summary: without asking laura, you decide to do what you think is best for her. except that you couldn't have made a more wrong decision.

a/n: first thing i've written in a long time 🫠

really, you don’t know what you had been thinking, opening the door for your ex like that.

after all, you’re the one who broke up with her.

but laura was standing out there, in the pouring rain and her clothes were already getting soaked. that silly yellow umbrella she’d been holding had done little to nothing to help shield her from the storm.

now you stare at her, unable to tear your eyes away.

she’s shaking a little in her cream sweater and jeans, clenching something tightly in her fist.

her voice is hoarse when she speaks, ‘you broke up with me…and i have every right to be upset. really upset. i was so hurt and awfully confused because up until that moment, i thought we were doing good together.’

you swallow with some difficulty, eyes finally darting down to the ground.

‘then syd said something while we were in paris. she said that you didn’t strike her as a bad person and maybe you broke up with me out of some misguided notion that you were helping me somehow.’

the pain in her voice is evident, the raw edge of it only growing as she continues, ‘i thought she was making no sense. until i remembered something you once said in passing. that you felt like you were holding me back.’

‘laura please. let it go.’ you whisper because she’s stepping forward and getting too close now.

the german woman ignores you, coming right into your personal space.

‘so it’s true.’

‘i’m sorry.’ you murmur, already resigning yourself to her hating you.

your ex must read the thought on your face because she shakes her head with a scoff.

‘stupid. you’re still so stupid because how can you not see?’

‘see what?’ you weakly say.

‘that all of this-’ she shoves what she’d been holding into your hands.

‘-means nothing without you!’

in your hands is her bronze medal from the olympics. you stare at it rather dizzily.

‘oh.’

‘oh.’ you repeat, swaying a little on your feet.

vaguely, you register laura’s mouth moving but you can’t hear anything.

not till she grips your arms firmly to steady you. the harsh pressure forces the world to come back into focus, just in time for you to hear her say, ‘idiot. my misguided self sacrificial idiot. the biggest idiot i’ve ever known and yet i love you.’

‘you love me?’ you faintly ask.

‘never stopped.’ she breathes, ocean coloured eyes meeting yours with an unblinking intensity.

with a rush of emotion, you practically fall forward into her arms, ‘forgive me schatz. i’m so sorry. i love you, i promise.’

laura’s arms were practically waiting because she draws you close immediately, ‘already have. swear you’ll never do that again okay? there are other ways to show that you love me.’

right there and then you decide that you never will do such a thing again. the blonde is entrusting her heart to you again and you’ll be damned if you mess this second chance up.

the dampness of her clothes don’t register, all that matters is her familiar, solid and all encompassing warmth. the months apart have not impacted how she feels like home.

as she said, there are other, less foolish ways to show her that you love her and you are intent on showing her each and every one of them.

German Translation:

schatz - sweetheart

[ddejavvu]

i just read your drabble about Darry being sweet on pregnant reader and I love the part where he says he will lift her stomach up if the baby got too heavy 😭 can we pls have another drabble where he does that

send me requests for the outsiders!

--

It's pretty impossible for you to wash the dishes at this stage of your pregnancy. Your belly provides an immovable barrier between you and the kitchen counter, and leaning over into the sink puts uncomfortable pressure against your stomach that makes you nervous. Not to mention the backache from hunching over- doing the dishes is simply not in your wheelhouse anymore.

That doesn't mean you can't dry them, though. You can take a towel and wipe the water droplets off of the glasses once Darry is done washing, and you can set them neatly on the counter if you can't manage to put them away yourself. You can still contribute to the household, no matter what Darry says.

"Are you out of bed again?" He asks, his voice coming from the bathroom as he exits the shower. He's a little more forward thinking than Sodapop: he brings his clothes into the bathroom so that he doesn't get caught naked by any unexpected visitors, which means that he's wearing a threadbare sleeping tee that's tight around the chest, plaid pajama pants over his lower half.

"I'm just drying the dishes, Dar." You promise, "Nothing strenuous."

"It looks strenuous." He frowns, brows creasing hard as he looks at your posture. Standing while this heavily pregnant is inherently awkward; you have to hunch yourself to maintain your new center of gravity.

"It's not, honey. I'm okay, I promise."

He studies you for a moment, leaning against the counter on his hip. Then he makes his decision, starting forwards over the small kitchen floor. You think he's reaching for the dish you're drying, trying to take it away from you in another endearingly overbearing attempt to relieve you of moving a single muscle. So you turn away from him, clutching the towel and the dish to your chest as if you could ever fight him off if he truly wanted to take it from you. But his hands slide around your waist and beneath your belly, apparently exactly the angle he'd wanted as he slowly, gently lifts your baby's weight off of your back.

You nearly melt into his chest at the feeling of the relief, an audible sigh leaving your mouth as he holds your pregnant belly off of your tired muscles.

"That feel nice?" He guesses, his voice a soft murmur beside your ear as you lean back against him. You should be more considerate; maybe he doesn't want your entire body weight slung against him while he lifts your baby bump, but he's sturdy and strong nevertheless. It doesn't seem to be a struggle for him.

"It feels so nice, Dar." You hum, feeling your tired muscles loosen and sing with relief from their constant strain, "Love it when you do this."

He presses a chaste kiss against your temple, still unmoving despite your whole body sagging against him, "Well I won't be doin' it for much longer. Baby's comin' in two weeks."

"You'll still have to hold her," You muse, "She's gonna hang off of you like a little monkey, Dar."

He chuckles and it shakes you slightly, the warmth of his chest intensified by the sweetness of his laughter, "You think so?"

"I know so." You nod, eyes still closed as you lean against his chest, "She's gonna love you. She'll be a total Daddy's Girl."

"I hope so." He hums, and you know that it's not as casual as it sounds: he's truly worried about his capabilities as a father, and he has been since you'd announced your pregnancy. But you know he'll be a great one, not only from the way that he takes care of his brothers, but by the way his hands already so expertly cup your stomach, cradling your baby before she's even born. You tug his hands closer together beneath your stomach, feeling your baby squirm but not kick in your belly.

"You'll be a great dad," You promise, soaking in the warmth of his touch as you lean back against him. She squirms again, not kicking you in the ribs but instead gently settling against the support his hands offer, "You already are."

[yncoreee]

YOU’RE PRETTY. Danielle X reader

Synopsis— y/n clinging onto someone that’s not Haerin? That’s very unusual

Warnings .ᐟ Advice to Read pt.1 and not pt.2 (it doesn’t really align with part.3 and will be going through editing in the meantime) Y/n acting like a baby towards Dani, clingy yn, making out, sorry this took five hundred decades, School au, Female reader, FLUFF

꩜ — ⵌWord count 2593 (the highest I’ve ever written)

“Unnie?” Danielle heard a voice call out. That voice, it sounded like someone she knew.

“Eunchae? What are you doing here?” She chuckled, passing an awkward smile to the younger girl.

“Oh uhh I got punished for coming late to school so now I have to clean every class room in our year” eunchae explained using the mop the clean away a dark spot that laid next to Danielle’s legs.

“Opp sorry!” Danielle apologized taking her leg off. “I’ll get going now so you can clean” she muttered leaving the classroom to eunchae.

Well that was disappointing

She let out a gloomy sigh, resting her back on a nearby locker. Why hasn’t she seen a sign of Y/n at all today? Did she even come to school?

These were the set of questions that threw itselfs in Danielle’s head. “Oh no” she gasped, holding the two side of her cheeks making an expression like that of a cartoon character.

Danielle knew she had to either find y/n and maybe Haerin if she doesn’t come across y/n.

—

It had almost come to the end of the lunch break since Danielle had been looking for y/n. Her friends were probably worried about her sudden disappearance.

Frustration filled her and she couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret for the way she acted.

She had slowly loosed hope of finding the girl. Her mind only occupied with negative thoughts which she immediately shrugged off.

Her face wore a disappointed expression as she took a sit beside Haerin.

Danielle was silent the whole break. That was unusual. Because she would’ve been smiling and cracking joke with genuine cheerful expressions.

The disappointment clung onto her like a heavy shadow, weighing down on her shoulders.

The only person who seemed to be paying the most attention to Danielle during the lunch was Haerin.

She noticed the older girl wearing a frown as she constantly poked the sides of her food acting like she had lost the appetite.

When it was time to return back to the classes for further lessons Haerin pulled Danielle to a cover just a few meters away from the classroom.

“Dani is everything alright? You look like something’s bothering you. You looked completely worn out during the lunch” Haerin asked, her voice sweet and gentle.

“Haha me? I’m fine…..just zoned out for a bit” Danielle laughed off. The laugh was clearly fake from the way it sounded.

“Unnie I know you’re lying to me. Just tell me what’s bothering you and maybe I can help?” Haerin asked her tone soothing but still with sternness.

“Fine” Danielle sighed, fumbling with the bracelet on her wrist. She opened and closed her mouth the words not finding ways to escape.

“Hey! It’s okay if the words aren’t coming out right now. Just give yourself some time and tell me when you’re ready, I’d gladly stay here. And if you don’t feel comfortable saying it I’m fine with that, I’ll never bother you again” Haerin reassured placing her hands on Danielle’s shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

Danielle nodded taking a few minutes to process all her thoughts. “Okay, I think I’m ready now”

“So you know I’ve been ignoring y/n due to my stupid mindset of believing you both were dating?” Danielle asked confirming her previous actions.

“Yeah” Haerin nodded waiting with patience for what Danielle had to say next.

“I’ve came up with a few ways to apologize to her but….the only thing stopping me if finding her. I was just too nervous to ask you if she came to school or not” Danielle explained, her cheeks heating up from embarrassment when she heard a light chuckle come from Haerin.

“That’s it?” Haerin asked raising her left eyebrow. “You don’t have to her nervous asking me about anything, especially if it’s y/n. As a matter of fact you’re meant to be bombarding me with questions as I am the future sister-in-law” Haerin joked, her statement carrying a light teasing tone.

“Huh? Oh I—“ Danielle blushed finally understanding what Haerin had meant, using her hands to lightly hit her arm.

“Ok okay okay I won’t tease you. And yes y/n didn’t attend school today”

“Wait! Why?!” Danielle asked her voice a littl louder than it was before, a sign of worry and concern in her voice.

“Uhh she’s sick, like seriously Ill you can’t expect her to come to school in a frail condition” Haerin playfully rolled her eyes. “Come on now let’s go to class, the lesson had already begun six minutes ago!” Haerin informed grabbing Danielle by her hands, away from the corner.

Danielle’s mind was racing with thoughts throughout the lesson. Her mind only filled with how you could be doing right now? Are you eating well? Are you taking your meds? Only thoughts of what could be happening with you as of now.

She knew she had to pay you a visit by the end of school.

—

The moment the bell rang, Danielle swung her backpack on her shoulders. Hurriedly going to get Haerin, leaving the classroom in the blink of an eye.

Haerin looked at the older girl with a confused expression. “Huh? Umm where are you taking me to?” She asked trying to release her hands from Danielle’s grip but to no avail.

“Home you dummy! Where else would you go after school??” Danielle said with a sigh of irritation,

“Woah woah woah chill, I’m just asking questions because it’s the first time you’re actually following me home” Haerin defended herself, silence following after.

She knew what Danielle was doing, but she decided to play dumb so she doesn’t spoil the fun in it.

“Quick open the door!” Danielle instructed like a boss.

“Hmph I don’t like the way you’re bossing me around” Haerin mumbled to herself, clearly grumpy about the girls sudden attitude.

“Quick!”

“Omg be calm would you?”

The door swung open as soon as Haerin twisted the knob, Danielle rushing in after to the point she almost tripped and fell on the floor.

She composed herself turning to face haerin. “It’s upstairs the room right next to the brown one”

Danielle nodded patting haerin on her head. “Glad to see your Brain is coming to use” she smiled watching as the smaller girl furrowed her eyebrows.

“Hey what does that— mean” Haerin sighed softly, Danielle had of course disappeared before she could complete her sentence.

“Ugh I swear I Offically hate people in love” haerin grumbled, finding her way into the kitchen to snack on a bowl of cereal.

—

Danielle’s grip on the door knob was oddly tight. She found herself standing in front of your room contemplating on whether or not to enter.

What if you didn’t want to see her face? I mean if she were you too, she’d probably not want to see her face after she ignored you all this while.

She took deep breaths, holding her hands up in the air. Finally she set it down and knocked pure silence following after.

After minutes of getting no response Danielle hesitated before pushing the door opened her eyes landing on the sight of you covered with the Dovet. One could clearly tell you were sick from how you looked.

She sat down on the edge of the bed taking note of the steaming hot bowl and a napkin that laid on the bed side table. A few medications beside it.

Her hands found it’s way into carrying the napkin, dipping it into the water before finally landing on your face.

She damped the wet napkin lightly onto your face. Making sure she was careful enough not to wake you up.

Her eyes grazed over your sleepy and Ill figure, noticing how beautiful and peaceful you looked as of that moment.

Your eyes abruptly shot open, looking at the girl with confused expressions.

Her eyes widened in shock with her heart thumping in her chest, her throat getting dry while her hands stayed stiff in the air.

“Huh? Unnie what are you doing here?” You questioned leaning against the headboard or support.

An awakard chuckled left her mouth. “Haha me? I just came to pay you a visit, Haerin told me you were sick” she explained looking over at your raised eyebrow. “Yeah that’s totally it. It’s not like I came here to apologize and confess and ask you to be my girlfriend or anything” she accidentally blurted out in panic and hurry mentally facepalming herself at her silly response.

“Uhhh okay if you say so” you said in suspicion an awkward tension in the air following after. “Are you just going to stand there and stare?” You asked in a monotone voice.

“Huh? Oh yeah yeah. How are you feeling?” Danielle asked hesitating to reach out for your hands.

“Meh. Still weak and Ill but I’m slowly recovering” you answered picking up your phone form the bed side.

“I’m sorry” you heard her apologize from out of the blue.

“For what?”

“For acting that way. For acting so childish and immature, for ignoring you all because I thought you and Haerin were dating. I should’ve never accused you of something I didn’t know and rather studied the whole situation” she shifted her gaze around the room. Not knowing what to expect next from you.

Silence

The room fell since Danielle had spoken. Your mind contemplated between speaking up or actually giving her a little space to process through.

After backing away a bit you spoke up. “Heyy you didn’t need to apologize” you chuckled awkwardly, reaching out your hands to her. “You’re not in the wrong for doing that. I mean if I found out a new friend of my was dating someone I would totally give them some space” you replied in a causal tone.

She took a glance over at your face, noticing how soft and pleasing it looked. Gosh why were you so pretty when you aren’t grumpy or acting cold. “You’re pretty” Danielle spoke in admiration not taking her gaze away from your face. “Let’s date be my girlfriend….” She randomly blurted out.

“What?!” You asked in shock.

“What????” Danielle repeated realizing what she had said. “Ah no no no that’s not what I mean. Like you’re pretty, let’s…..uhhhh Aish!” She gave up, slumping on your bed. Her hands covering her now tomatoe red face.

“………..”

You bursted out laughing at her reaction which caught her completely off guard.

Although your laugh seemed cute, she couldn’t help but feel disappointed that her feelings for you had just been brushed off like that.

She laughed along quietly not knowing what to do after this. “Forget what I just said” she sighed lifting herself up from your bed. “Well I better get going now” she hurriedly stood up getting ready to exit the room.

“Hey where are you going?” You called out for her. “You can’t just leave your girlfriend just like that without no goodbye kiss or anything”

Wait what?

Danielle stopped in her tracks, whipping her head around in a rapid motion. “Wait what?” She asked slowly walking up to you.

“Come on now didn’t you hear? I said give your girlfriend. me Kang y/n a kiss before you go silly….. or aren’t I your girlfriend anymore?” You pouted grabbing her by her wrist and pulling her closer.

“Wait so…..you like me back?”

“Obviously. Why would I be upset you were ignoring me. Besides I already accepted your confession” you rolled your eyes playfully letting go of her hand. “Now give me a kiss” you whined loudly gesturing over to your lips. “They’re lonley, let them meet someone else’s” you smirked your words carrying a light hint of playfulness and teasing.

“Hurry up jagi!” You pouted slowly throwing a tantrum.

Danielle’s eyes could only widen more. Her eyes and ears couldn’t believe this. Did something get into you?

Not only did you accept her confession but also called her your girlfriend now you’re here throwing a mini tantrum all for a kiss. This was all shocking to her. She was left all dumbfounded and speechless.

“Y/n….did the fever really get to you?” She asked placing her hands on your forehead to measure your temperature.

You immediately swatted her hand away. “Of course I’m okay but I won’t be okay if you don’t give me a kiss” you huffed, folding your arms across your chest.

Danielle didn’t know if you were being genuine r just messing with her.

She contemplated before leaning in, pausing at a mere inches between your faces. Her hands slowly wrapped around your waist as she pulls you closer, goosebumps swarming all over her body. Was she just about to do this?

You leaned in to close the gap, breaking it after seconds. A large smile stretching as you leaned in to kiss her again. Your fingers sliding down the sides of her cheeks.

The kiss lasted on for a few seconds before you pulled out again. “You’re such a good kisser girlfriend! It’s said I had to pull out, but I don’t want Haerin to walk in on us making out” you chuckled lighting nudging her elbow with yours.

She chuckled along still trying to take in on the fact that you actually accepted her confession.

—

The next day rolls in pretty quickly. You were surprisingly excited for school well maybe not for school but the fact that you would be walking with Danielle to school.

“Hey rin! I’m going to school now, bye!” You informed exiting the house before she could respond.

“Huh???” Haerin asked confused. This was the first ever time you had left for school early and most especially without her. “Weird” she mumbled to herself, shrugging it off.

“Let’s go!” You smiled at Danielle taking her hands in yours as you both strolled down the neighborhood.

You stopped to face her once you stepped into the hallways placing your hand on her shoulders. “I have to go to class now darling. See you at lunch” you spoke placing a soft kiss on her cheeks.

Danielle stood in the hallway watching you happily skip away. “She’s so weird and cute I love her so much” Danielle mumbled under her breath.

—

Classes felt so slow and dragged in your opinion.

Without thinking twice, you sprinted out of the classroom immediately the bell rang for lunch break. Not even a few minutes out of the class room you spotted a familiar curly haired talking with her friends.

“Dani!” You beamed excitedly rushing you wrap your arms around her. “Dani omg I missed you so so much” you pouted burying your head in the crook of her neck.

“Is this y/n….?” Minji asked shocked at your odd behavior.

“Obviously Unnie can’t you see from the height?” Hyein rolled her eyes pointing out your smaller figure.

“Hey! I’m older than you”

“But shorter—“

“Wait a damn minute….. are you two like a..?” Hanni paused expecting either of the both of you to complete it.

“A thing now? Yes” Danielle confirmed. All their eyes going wide. “SINCE WHEN?!” Haerin was the first to yell.

“Uhh since yesterday. Don’t be mad I got a girlfriend before you” you smiled patting her head.

“Hmph!” She huffed rolling her eyes.

“Aww they look so cute together!” Hanni squealed adoring you and Danielle. “Me and you next” minji jokingly said earning a side eye from the shorter girl.

“Dany/n” hyein cooed sighing dreamily. “The unexpected couple”

↳ More grumpy x sunshine here

[haveateadude]

don't say yes, run away now

summary *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ what happens when you invite Ellie to your wedding, and what would you do if she stands up?

warnings *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ i mention sex like,, once but nothing happens. homophobia and some white guy named michael.

author notes *. ⋆ ⋆·˚ I LOVED THIS IDEA OMGG AND I FINALLY GOT TO WRITE ITTT

I hear the preacher say, "Speak now or forever hold your peace"

There's the silence, there's my last chance

I stand up with shaky hands, all eyes on me

Horrified looks from everyone in the room

But I'm only looking at you

You've wanted to get married for as long as you can remember. You have always dreamed of wearing a white dress, with your arm hooked around your father's while he walks you down the aisle, your whole family and friends sitting on those wooden chairs applauding as you kiss the person you love the most. Except, today is your wedding. And you don't think you want this. A little voice in your head is going: this is wrong this is wrong this is wrong and you don't love him you won't be happy don't do this don't do this you'll be miserable.

Don't do this

Don't do this

Don't do this.

"Don't move," you hear your mother say. You come back to reality as she zips up your dress. It's itchy and uncomfortable and you can't breathe. Is this really what you've been wishing for your whole life? "All done."

You turn around to look at your mother. You chuckle, trying to hide how shitty you're feeling, "This is uncomfortable."

"Oh, shush," She says, smiling. "Bear with it. You only get to do this once in your life—unless you divorce Michael and get married again. Which, you shouldn't because the divorce papers cost a shit ton of money. And he's a good guy, isn't he?"

You nod, "Yeah, mom. He is."

"That's good." She stops for a second, then looks at you: from head to toe. She's still smiling and it's starting to freak you out. "I can't believe this is happening. You look so beautiful, honey. "

"Thank you."

"You know, you scared me for a second. For a while, I thought you were a lesbian when you used to bring that girl back then. What was her name? Ella, Amelia, Bella…"

"Ellie?"

"Right, Ellie. You've invited her, haven't you?"

You nod, "Yeah. She's still a friend."

You don't know if liking each other's Instagram stories counts as being friends. And it might seem cruel, knowing you've dated her secretly in the past, and now you've invited her to your fucking wedding. But it didn’t feel right not to ask her. You've known her since you were in high school.

You take a deep breath, desperately trying to get Ellie off your mind. All you're starting to think about now is kissing under the rain with her, secretly passing notes in the hallway, laughing in between kisses, sitting in between her legs while you read - just quietly existing in each other's presence without having to make it sexual. This is the moment you realize you've never felt this way with Michael. He makes you smile and he kisses you when he comes home from work. But he never laughs during sex, and he never holds your hand except for when you're in public. He never whispers, "It's okay," ever so gently like Ellie when you cry; he never runs his finger through your hair like Ellie used to when you couldn't sleep.

This is the day of your wedding, for fuck's sake. Maybe deciding to marry in church wasn't a good idea.

A part of you knows that you've been longing for Ellie your whole life.

You were wishing she wouldn't come, but as you walk down the aisle you can't help but catch a glimpse of her eyes. It always seemed that you were connected—as if you both had a string attached to your pinkies. If she pulled—if she looked at the back of your head you'd turn around to look at her; if she walked to the room you would be able to feel it—you would fucking feel it. Right now you could feel the string. She was tugging at it. She was tugging and tugging and tugging and she would not leave you alone.

As you stand in front of Micheal you try to smile; he smiles back. Ellie is tugging at the string. She could always tell when you had a fake smile on your face.

The preacher is talking but you're not hearing him.

"Are you okay?" Michael whispers to you.

You nod, still smiling. With teeth and everything. You then whisper, "Yeah, I'm just overwhelmed."

"Me too," he whispers back. "I'm so happy, I can't believe this is happening."

You're about to reply when you hear, "Speak now or forever hold your peace—"

And then someone stands up.

And then your smile drops as you look at her.

Ellie has always been reckless, the little shit. She's always bold and brave and she isn't scared of saying what she thinks but still—this surprises you. You hear an echo of gasps around the place and all eyes are on her as she's standing. But she doesn't say anything. She looks around the room and then looks at you so you look at her. Tug, tug, tug. You can't help but feel like a helpless teenage girl in a secret relationship—this is what you felt when you used to look at her in a party, knowing nobody knew about her and you and also knowing you'll find your ways to meet up later. And then she blinks, and then leaves. Just like that. She walks out.

Michael's eyes are on you. It hits you, suddenly, that you will be married to him. He'll want to have kids and you will agree because that's who you are and then you'll be miserable.

"Woah," He laughs. Like this is funny. Like someone has just told a joke. "Was that Ella? Your mother told me that—"

And then your feet are moving before you can think of the consequences. People gasp again, now they're starting to stand up. You walk out, taking out your veil and heels, and leave them on the floor of the church as you run. You can't help but feel happy, free, proud. Especially proud. Like this isn't your secret anymore—like you could scream at the world how much you like her without being embarrassed or scared. Everyone should know you love her.

"Ellie!" You exclaim as you look at her. She's also running. "Ellie, hold up!"

She stops suddenly, turning around to look at you. Her breath is ragged.

"Did you just—what are you doing here? You're getting married."

"Fuck Michael," You breathe out, hands over your knees, trying to catch your breath. "I think I hate him and I—and I keep thinking about you. And I just—fuck Ellie. I can't marry him."

"You've wanted this your whole life," she says. She knows how much you've wanted to get married, you always talked to her about it. "You've finally got it and—"

And then she's not speaking, because you're kissing her. Her lips feel like home. Ellie chuckles and then you're laughing, too. You press your forehead against hers and you feel like you could cry. Maybe you are. She wraps her arms around you like she just needs to hold you.

"I'm sorry to break this moment," she starts to say as she pulls away, looking behind your shoulder. "But we've got a mad mother running towards us."

You look behind as you see that your mother is running as she screams your full name.

"Run," you tell her. She nods and seconds after you're both running for your lives, Ellie holding your hand gently.

"Thank god I brought my car!" She exclaims as she pulls her keys with her other hand. She unlocks the car doors and as soon as she gets in she starts the engine. You get into the passenger's seat. "I can't believe we just did that."

You laugh as Ellie drives until losing sight of your mother.

You know this will bring a lot of consequences and maybe you'll never talk to your family again. But well—at least you'll live a happy life and will never run out of what to talk about in therapy.

[minkdelovely]

I am jet-lagged and emotionally wrought, but nevertheless so fucking thrilled to have finally gotten the time to sit down and read this absolutely IMMACULATE chapter.

Hazel… I feel like I say this all the time, but how you manage to keep weaving this magnificent web of yours week after week is truly awe-inspiring. We’re getting close to the end, but you still make sure to impart as much emotional impact as possible. I believe this is the first time we ever got a solid block of Alastor’s POV, and if I’m being honest, idk if I would survive more 😭😂♥️

The mood of this chapter was so needed — they’ve been going through so much, and something was bound to snap. So to see them get closer on the other side is just so rewarding. I just want them to be happy god damn it! 🥲

I know you don’t typically foray into angst, but I’m not surprised you knocked it out of the park Hazel! I hope you’re just feeling more and more proud of yourself with each chapter! ♥️

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧     ✧     ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Where had she walked in New Orleans? Where did she meet Alastor’s father? You had to wonder what he had looked like. Surely he was handsome. Was he kind to her, like Alastor was to you? Or had it been a one night stand?

A small smile, she didn’t look like the type but looks could be deceiving. Alastor didn’t look like the kind of man who kissed bloodied cheeks and tossed heads into holes.

ruminating on Alastor’s mom is gonna get me every fucking time tbh 😩 and the second part with Alastor’s deceiving looks… that pretty face and charm will take him everywhere!

You knew he wasn’t a virgin, and he’d mentioned before he’d been happily coupled with others before his preferences became their frustrations.

BABYYY OMG THIS WENT STRAIGHT THROUGH MY HEART 😩

Did they properly express their gratitude? Doubtful. How many times did he acquiesce to his partner’s wants and then be treated like it was the expectation and not an exception of his affections?

no one will care about him the way we care about him — it’s simply not possible

The closer you got, the more nervous you were to see him. Not knowing how he felt, be it angry or worried or a mix of the two, was doing you in.

imagining him angry is honestly so scary; my anxiety just ticked up 😩

From insulted to panicked, you realized you’d forgotten about your face. Pushing the heavy wooden door open to the bathroom, your reflection caught you off guard. Your eyes were encircled in black, scleras red, blush smeared into your hairline, and your lips were soft around the edges from misplaced lipstick. You looked like a wreck in human form.

HONESTLY MY WORST NIGHTMARE

With one more glance at your disheveled appearance you sheepishly returned to the entrance and peeked into the dining room again. Everyone was dressed so nicely. You could imagine Alastor fitting in quite well.

WHY DID THIS MAKE MY HEART CLENCH?? 😩♥️

“I thought you’d be more fatale and less femme. Anyways, your deadweight’s in the alley.” 

MIMZYYYY!! tbh this is such a perfect introduction for her ❤️‍🔥

He turned, smiled, and rushed towards you. Taking your head in his hands he kissed you on the lips, and when you pulled back he leaned in, tongue pressing into your mouth.

BRUV WE ARE IN PUBLIC!!

Parks were different. Parks were made for such things. 

not only for kisses 👀 hehehe

He was drunk. Completely smashed. Normally you wouldn’t care, drunk Alastor could be quite cute. But you’d been prepared for and in need of someone to talk to. Someone to ease the mess of feelings in your gut. Instead you were handed a job as caretaker and impromptu driver. You’d have to wait until the morning for any kind of sympathetic comfort.

the way I immediately feel the frustration and disappointment. he’s not even just drunk, but SLOPPILY so 😩

Alastor pulled his arm from your hold, “At that little park. Audubon.” He pointed west, saying it with a perfect accent. “Anyway, I’m gonna kill him. Maybe right now! Did I tell ya? I know where he lives.” He crossed the street without looking. 

LET THE BABYSITTING COMMENCE 🫠

“Alastor, yes. He’s got two kids, a wife. He stays out late, obsessin’ over us no doubt.”

my cortisol has spiked, but there’s something about this line that just makes me smile 😂🙈

“Who are you to stop me? To tell me,” a pause as he lost his balance and leaned too far to the right, catching himself with a sneer to his own legs. He turned back and continued on his way, “what I can and cannot do.” You stopped. The sound of his mother’s shoes no longer snapping behind him made Alastor pause his clumsy march and look back at you. “Are ya really not comin’?” His sharp tone had shifted down to a whiny, almost pleading one.

so much here… the hurt from his words, but also just how clearly we can see that he’s barely keeping it together. wonderfully executed, my love 🥹♥️

Hiding yourself from him felt like betrayal, so you’d abandoned it some time ago. Your chin quivered, hands gripping the sides of your dress in stress. Your eyes were pleading with him to not do this. To not throw you away so easily. Diminish you with one slurred sentence. It felt like a dare to your pride. A choice, your self respect or his attention. It was a rhetorical question, as the answer would be a revelation to an entirely different quandary. 

UGHHHH IT HURTS SO GOOD!! he really is coming off as so callous right now — it’s brutal 😩

Alastor stared you down, his height finally mattering in a way you didn’t like. 

SHIVERS

The only way he could ever truly hurt you was with that cutting muscle behind his teeth. 

HAZEL OH MY GODDDD 😭🫠

Turning around, you walked the way you’d both just come because truth be told you had no idea how to get home from where you were. You just needed to get away from him before you said something you didn’t mean. Before he said something you couldn’t forget. 

as heartbreaking as this is, I admire that Autumn is walking away before it gets worse and not like~ digging in from the pain. i don’t know that i’d be that strong 😭

You’d barely gotten five steps when you heard a clank to the ground. Turning just enough to see behind you, you noticed the car door key on the sidewalk. Alastor’s grin wide and childlike.

BITCH!! 😭

He slumped against the passenger side window the entire car ride home. You struggled with the shifting stick, and he didn’t offer any help. A petulant brat pouting into the glass.

tbh nothing I hate more than a tense car ride… ALASTOR GOD DAMN IT!! 😩

“Suit yourself. I don’t have patience for this, Alastor. You’re acting like a brat when I’m the one who had the hard night.” You turned to go upstairs before coming back, something your mother always did in arguments that you hated, “And I really don’t appreciate the way you’re treating me. We’ll talk in the morning.”

THE TURNING BACK IS ALWAYS SUCH A KNIFE IN THE GUT

It wasn’t until you were under the covers, alone, did you begin to cry. It was mostly anger, if you were honest. But a good dose of self pity mixed in. Practically running to find him, after thinking about just him for hours before, and to be met with a drunken child was disappointing beyond measure. And the disrespect of tossing his keys…

THE KEYS!!! IT WAS SUCH A SLAP IN THE FACE!! 😩

You could remember the uneasy feeling you had when your mother would leave you with friends when she had work. How every inch moved felt like you were brushing into poison ivy, it wasn’t your space, you didn’t know the rules or the norms. Now you felt you no longer knew your place in Alastor’s home. 

this is truly such a horrific feeling… i hate that we’ve all seemed to feel the sting of it 🥺

Which was fine, you lied to yourself. You just needed to know the parameters so you could stay within them. Not take things too seriously. Not expect too much from him.

Not give too much of yourself. 

this is such a specific form of fear of rejection… I can relate only too well 😩

You couldn’t believe you had wanted to tell him you loved him. How long had you choked back those words for your own personal safety, just to be in a man’s home far from your own with no real way back.

I’M WRITHING OH MY GODDD THE HURT AND THE SHAMEEE WHYY??

A shiny and sunlit movie played of him slipping off your shoes and putting yours on his feet. 

I am honestly never not thinking about the whole thing with the shoes…

Lying down again, you tried to take deep breaths. He’d said he wasn’t mad at you. Was he not allowed to make mistakes? Could he not be angry around you without you taking it personally even when he said it wasn't for you? That was unfair of you. You were expecting a drunk man to speak clearly and with well thought out perception of how he’d be heard. The reasons for his drunkenness were unknown, and when you stopped to consider things more, you’d never just out right told him how you felt. Until you were upset and going up the stairs. Admittedly, to your defense, he was very drunk. 

this is genuinely one of the most emotional mature things I’ve ever read in my entire life — and something I’m gonna try to keep in mind the next time I’ve lost my temper

The idea of him waking up to an empty home and a migraine almost brought you back to tears. Alastor’s distaste for being alone had become clear, in the way he used to go out often just to have dance company, how he so quickly pulled you into his home and lap. You’d feel his heart break from across the river if you up and left while he slept. 

and I’m full circle to wanting nothing more than to cuddle this man… Hazel I swear to fucking god 🫠♥️

The best way to find out if someone was worth trusting was to trust them. Alastor had been worth so much more than you’d expected a person could be. This was just a hiccup. 

NO WORDS JUST MY HEART WEEPING

Alastor, what more could he do? What on earth could he possibly get away with? He had no interest in stepping out, and he couldn’t easily date when his hobbies and home were crime scenes.

GETTING BIG FEELINGS AGAIN FOR OUR LONELY, MURDEROUS BOY 🥺♥️

He would make it better. He would say whatever really happened in the morning and fix it. You could trust that and let your eyes finally close. Alastor hadn’t failed you yet, and you believed he wouldn’t start now. 

Alastor, darling, for the love of god please I’m begging for clarification 😭

When you woke up, it was early. Unnaturally early for you. But stress did that. Whatever the opposite of Christmas morning, that was the mechanism pulling you out of bed as the sun was just beginning to rise. 

BEEN THERE AND IT SUCKS

He was still asleep on the couch when you crept down the stairs. He looked like shit. Which made you feel a little good. If he looked perfect it’d be immensely dissatisfying.

this was such a glorious way to humanize our otherwise ethereal husband 🙏🏻✨

You heard the creak of the screen door and felt the old wood bend behind you as he finally stumbled out. He plopped down beside you, before lowering himself to his right side and resting his head on your lap. He stared out at the greenhouse like you did. Your hands twitched to touch him, but you kept them to your sides. 

AUTUMN I TRULY ADMIRE YOUR STRENGTH

“You are my darling.” He said with a raspy voice hoarse from an intoxicated dehydration. You finally looked at him, but he didn’t meet the gaze. “That’s who you are.”

“You sure didn’t make me feel like your anything last night.” Your tone was cold and sharp, spoken like a stranger scolding another. Stay strong, you thought. Make him understand how he made you feel before, even if you were already cooling off. 

You saw the fabric of your white slip turn a storm grey beneath his face, tears tumbling across the bridge of his nose before seeping into the night dress.

LIKE GENUINELY SO FUCKING STRONG — I WOULD HAVE FOLDED LIKE A WET NEWSPAPER JESUS CHRIST 😭

He nodded, slick and smooth face gliding over the silk. A sob, choked and broken as he buried his head again into your lap. “I’d never felt so helpless, I just…I responded very selfishly. I’m sorry.” 

The heavy and hot indignation finally began to cool in you, and you let yourself run your fingers through his hair. 

AHHHHH THIS IS PRECISELY WHAT I WANT: TO PET THIS SAD LITTLE MAN

You thought for a moment. The safety in Alastor’s killings were the degrees of separation between him and his targets. The plausible deniability. The lack of obvious motive. If you could find that same safety net when killing Brady, then, sure. “When he’s no longer a threat to us. When no one will be shocked to hear he’s dead.” 

YOU BAD BITCH OMGGGG Kenneth must be feeling a chill down his spine as we speak!! 😂

“I’m beginning to think it doesn’t matter.” Alastor inched his body closer to you. “I’ve never been a bigger failure in all my life than last night. In every way. To myself and to you.” His head turned, the soft and sharp features alike of his face burying into your lap. A gentle shake of his shoulders as he lost his fight to not weep openly into you broke your heart. He let out a weak and muffled series of sounds, followed by a louder and clearer, “Do you want to leave me?”

I ACTUALLY CAN’T FUCKING HANDLE THIS. THE FACT THAT I CAN’T COMFORT HIM MYSELF IS A FUCKING CRIME!!

You pulled his head up by the back of his collar. With your first good look at him in the crisp orange morning light you could see his lips were red and raw from nervous chewing, his hair lacking its usual shine or form. The right side of his face was wet. Tears new and old began to reroute and slide down his high cheeks and pointed jaw. They met at the very bottom of his chin, for the first time in their short lives, and dropped onto you in little couplings. Falling like they were made to always do just that. Just now. Just for him. A fate you could understand so naturally it was bordering on unnerving. A love story you were sure you were playing out.

HAZEL SHAKESPEARE IS GETTING US GOOD Y’ALL HOW I’M STILL CONSCIOUS DEFIES SCIENCE

How rarely you’d seen a man cry. In the past perhaps you’d have been put off. Cringed. Considered it a pathetic show of weakness and lost respect for them. But all you could feel now was a pain so deep and all encompassing it felt as if your skin was cracking off. A dry river bed in the heat of summer. What had been there before? Disgust? Indifference? Even his tears were of a magnitude more important than anyone else’s. Every piece of him mattered more to you. 

this whole paragraph is a baseball bat to my psyche

You were in that worst kind of love; Unconditional. 

SLAP MY ASS AND CALL ME MEGARA

“Give me a little time. I’ll show you how stupid of a question that is over our first fight,” Your thumbs wiped away his tears. The handkerchief came back to view, so you gingerly took it and dabbed the sacred lacrima from his cheeks. You took his head between both hands and stared unflinching into the sweet, sun kissed brown of his eyes, “I never want to leave you. Even if I do, even if somehow I’m convinced to go, you’ll have to rip your heart out of my cold dead hands or I’ll take it with me.” 

I’VE LOST ANY AND ALL ARTICULATION

Another torrent of tears from him and a reply so earnest and so sure your body leaned back with surprise, “But, it’s not mine anymore. Isn’t that obvious?” He half whispered it into the ether.

HAZEL PLEASE I’M SO WEAK IT’S TOO BEAUTIFUL OH MY GOD

“If you ever speak to me like you did last night again, with that sharp tone and cruel words, sober or not…” you trailed off, begging him to not make you say it. Don’t force you to make threats you didn’t want to keep. Things you’d be ashamed of not following through with. Little self failures you were genetically predisposed of committing. 

“You can take my heart with you.” 

AAAHHHHH I CAN’T BELIEVE I GET A SECOND DOSE OF THIS THROUGH ALASTOR’S POV — I am floundering and grateful all at once 😩♥️

- — - — - — - — -

A trickle of fear dropped down his spine. Worst case scenario didn’t quite exist as some ladder of concerns, he just felt tremendous fear you were dead. That was the only rung. Had someone been watching you, that he didn’t notice as he was too preoccupied with watching Brady? 

ALASTORRR I’m not strong enough for this!! 😭♥️

Alastor didn’t move. Hand still in the air between them. Johnny registered the distinct lack of light in Alastor’s eyes. He took a deep breath in, Alastor looked like a photograph of a man before him. There but, just a facsimile of human.

he’s in such disbelief omggg 🥺 this paints such a visual!!

Alastor’s mouth opened and then closed. He swallowed, then smiled, and his head did a little tilt. Ruth looked from him to Johnny. Alastor’s rolodex of canned responses spun infinitely around in his mind. Nothing was catching. There wasn’t a facial expression or comment or body posture in existence he had prepared for this conversation. Because he hadn’t ever predicted such a situation.

baby got the rug pulled out from under his feet 😭

The man he punched? What was his name again? No. He didn’t know where you worked. He didn’t know your name. 

William, for good measure, my darling buck

He was in disarray, a tremble in his hands making him pause and stare at his own body with a loss of recognition.

I love how he’s so immediately ready to pay whatever price while he’s literally floating away from himself… THE WAY YOU MAKE ME LOVE THIS MAN 🥲

“Hey, I was there that night you cornered Tommy into the booth. I saw you two. The night he hit her. Tommy was a real piece of shit. And I’m glad he’s gone.”

JOHNNY!! 😭😭😭

“Well, go have a drink, try to just… try to stay calm.” Ruth’s words barely entered his mind as he stumbled out into the night. Thoughts came so quickly and in such a multitude that Alastor found his head entirely empty, unable to latch onto any single one.

he’s in such shock; I know we’re going through it with Kenneth but damn this is pulling at my heartstrings 🥺

Long fingers gripped the steering wheel, knuckles an uncomfortable white with the force. How much would it take to snap the wheel? Had anyone ever tried before?

blacking out on the drive and now just so fucking angry… he really knows how to get me scared (for him) 😭

There was no fear you’d say anything. It simply didn’t exist. Even trying to conjure the idea of you telling anyone who he was and what he did was ridiculous to him. A dark part of him knew that notion was born out of a blinding fear and not out of true trust. Because if you did such a thing, it’d mean he’d been wrong about everything. That he couldn’t trust his own decisions anymore. What would he do if you did confess?

WHY ARE THEY SO SIMILAR AND SO NERVOUS ABOUT COMMUNICATING?? 🥲

Alastor made a beeline for the bathrooms just past the entrance of the Grano D'oro. His hair was mussed, his pupils constricted. He drew his bottom lip in and began chewing it nervously, hands pushing his hair back into some form of style. A cough to clear out his tightening throat, he straightened his bow tie and suit jacket. Staring at his reflection, he flinched. An unsettling feeling in his bones that if he stared long enough, it would take on a life of its own.

THE PARALLEL WITH BEING A MESS IN THE BATHROOM AHHHH!!!

Alastor offered passing pleasantries to a few people and smiled as he was escorted past them to the private dining section of Grano D'oro.

picturing him going through the motions is honestly so painful 🥺

Through the kitchen, with a smile and another nod to the staff who all sang his name as he walked by, Alastor made it to the barely visible door to the side.

but I am absolutely not surprised the kitchen staff adores him 🥹

“Little late for you isn’t it? Shouldn’t you be at home with your heart.” She dragged out the word, eyes rolling not at the idea of you but at the idea of someone being more important than a night out.

THIS IS SO FUCKING LOADED — HOW MANY TIMES HAS HE COME TO MIMZY TO TALK ABOUT READER AAAAHHHH!!!

“Oh fuck.” Mimzy added two more fingers to the glass. “What for?”

this feels very me for some reason lmao

Nervously he chewed on his bottom lip, biting red lines into the soft pink flesh. Mimzy stared, unnoticed. She couldn’t remember the last time he looked sad. He did sometimes open up when drunk, perhaps smiling through a pitiful story. Or dancing when she knew he was bruised in either his ego or his heart. But, normally, for Alastor, he kept the obvious and plain emotions kept tightly buttoned up. 

I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP SO MUCH — the way she sees him is just… I can’t put it into words!

“And you can’t just,” she made a fist with her thumb stuck out and dragged it across her neck in a cutting motion, “get rid of the issue?”

Mimzy you rascal!!

Killing Brady would solve everything. And it’d feel good. It’d feel….ah, he leaned back, letting his chest open and fill with the shadow of satisfaction, it’d be the best kill yet. How would he do it, he wondered. It’d have to be special. Slow. Perhaps even over the course of days. Oh, or better yet, perhaps he could show Brady exactly how he disposed of his targets. Piece by piece, taking from him and letting him watch as he buried his parts in deep holes. Giving him all the answers to his questions before snuffing out his nagging life. 

as much as I belittle Kenneth, I am no match for the way Alastor wants to belittle Kenneth

No one would believe Brady, he considered. If someone pulled him back into the shadows of his tree lined street with a blade to his throat and gave him the warning of what was to come if he kept this up….Did he have any allies in this at work?

MUAHAHAHAHA I LOVE ME SOME PARANOID KENNETH! Go get him honey 😂❤️‍🔥😈

In fact, as he took a slower sip of his somehow still full glass, he thought she was quite right. Brady was testing his pride. Hurting the closest person he had to get at him. This was villain activity. 

I just love the irony of Kenneth “Clutching Pearls” Brady being painted A VILLAIN (and it’s not untrue)

Either Brady thought Alastor was all bark and no bite, only attacking men alone at night, or, worse, he thought Alastor was using you.

I can’t lie, his masculine pride is really doing something for me lmao

“Don’t try to distract me. I’m in no mood for such trivial things, Mimz. My love was arrested. At work no less. I’m useless.”

ALASTORRRR I CAN’T WITH YOU SAYING THIS SO CASUALLY!!

You looked different than she’d expected. She wasn’t really sure what she was expecting…actually, on second thought, she had just imagined a female Alastor. Alastor with a perm and an empire waist dress. A little out of fashion but classy. 

why is this so endearing to me? 😭♥️

He’d translate his determination into lavishing you. When you made a yelp and pushed him away, he was confused. Why weren’t you happy to see him? 

and the miscommunication begins 😭🙈

Your breath against his body when you and him first entertained affection came to his mind so intensely he thought maybe he had been pulled back in time.

HEHEHE Alastor I was thinking the same thing earlier 👀

Brady had done this. You’d never– He was just trying to clean up his mess. Why did people think they could dictate his life so freely? Why did what he wanted to do not matter, even though he was just trying to be a good man?

I know it’s drunk brain, but I’m so sad that he’s so quick to believe we would buy into some BS from KENNETH FUCKING BRADY 😭

Alastor paused to stare down at his legs. Et tu, crura? Even his own body was betraying him.

An ‘et tu’ will always get me good but this is also just so adorable to me how offended he is by losing his balance 😂♥️

What an odd question. Had you used your stage name so long you’d forgotten your true one. He laughed, what a silly thing to ask! “Now who is drunk?”

omggg he really didn’t realize what else came out of his mouth!! 😭

Your turning and walking back forward the restaurant made his eyes roll. Oh, the keys still. He pulled them from his pocket, fine, have them. I give up. Failure pile growin’ every minute.

Reminder that pity parties are not cute — our guy fucked 👏🏻 up 👏🏻

But when you turned around, he could feel the rage rolling off of your body. Alastor couldn’t pinpoint what it was about your face that was different than usual, but just beneath your skin he could see a you he’d never met before. One he didn’t care to meet. 

case in point 🫠

The pain behind his sternum was akin to a splintering rod; stiff, solid, and biting every time he moved. No one had ever made him feel this way before. He couldn’t put his finger on the feeling though, it was sadness, and it hurt, but there was something deeper. Something underneath these shallow reactions that dredged up a vague sense of mourning.

oh darling your drunk brain got you so focused on the wrong thing 😭

He slammed the car door behind him and fell into the sofa as soon as he could. Nothing went right. The day had started so wonderfully… you’d felt like a part of himself he’d finally found. And now….

SOBBING

He thought it and immediately winced. Not alone alone. Please, if anyone had been listening, please disregard it. That wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t mean that at all.

HE CAN’T BE ALONE AND I’LL NEVER BE OKAY ABOUT IT

His thoughts and the room were liquid and floating up into the atmosphere. Alastor was confident he would follow them up. 

we all float here Alastor 😂🎈

Patience… there it was. You’d lost patience with him. And you’d been so patient for months now. Waiting in bars and cars while he killed. Waiting for him while he threw body parts into holes and snapping jaws. Waiting for weeks beside him for inspiration to strike and for him to seek your intimacy in more serious touch.

I thought I’d be okay in the second round but IT HURTS EVEN MORE??

The yellow pillow was pulled to his face to muffle his scream.

this being one of his coping mechanisms when he feels embarrassed/ashamed of himself just… really cuts through me for some reason. There’s an innocence to it that just makes my heart swell 😭♥️

For all he knew, you’d made up your mind already. How odd. He himself was the cat in the box. He could already be dead and not even know it.

WE GET LATIN AND SCHRÖDINGER’S CAT ALL IN ONE CHAPTER?? IT MUST BE CHRISTMAS

The handle of your bag peeking out from under the dresser. It had been in the closet, he had emptied it and put it there for you so he knew that to be a fact.

OH GOD OF COURSE HE WOULD NOTICE THE BAG

He couldn’t find the courage to check. Rushing past it like it could come to life and grab him by the ankles, he went to the nightstand beside his side of the bed and opened the drawer, the bright yellow of your handkerchief calming him just a sliver. If he kept it, you’d have to come back. He could call you and remind you to come back for it. And then he could convince you to stay. His mother always said he was good with words. If you forgot it at his house when you left he’d have a way to bring you home again. Fresh tears welled, the backs of his hands smearing them into his hairline.

I AM A WRITHING FUCKING MESS ON THE FLOOR!! HAZEL!! 😩😭

Sitting on the second to last step of the house, he took a moment to collect himself. Being so frazzled, so undone, wasn’t like him. That foreignness just added to the panic. Bringing a hand to his chest, he opened his shirt to run his fingers down his sternum and to the left. A beating heart, evidence he was the survivor in every encounter he’d been in. But now, half a house between your and his back, why did he feel the most in danger? Rarely did fight or flight kick in, the last time he felt it was rolling around with that man who’d tried to choke the life out of you. 

No strange man here now. Just strange feelings. 

Hazel I actually really fucking can’t with you right now… ♥️

If you didn’t accept it….Alastor had never begged a day in his life, but he could see himself begging you to stay. Perhaps hugging your ankles and promising things he didn’t have. There was no longer an impossibility in what he would do, which was alarming. The idea of him being so pathetic and pitiful was nauseating, however there was no one and nothing that could stop that if you got up and left. 

OH MY GODDDDD

But that was what made you worth the risk. It began as entertainment, but soon enough the dome of your stage extended out and around him, sheltering Alastor in the warm light of your presence. And now as he looked around the railing of his stairs, he was scared to see the exit lights flicker on. 

AAAAAHHHH!!!! AAAHHHHH!!!!!! I AM A MESS!!! AAAHHH!!!

And he’d made you feel like nothing to him. The mountain of derelictions crumbled under the weight of perhaps his biggest failure of the evening, an avalanche of embarrassment and shame washed over him and he didn’t try to impede his tears. Men were only supposed to cry on their wedding day and at funerals, but he supposed this day could still go either way. Could still be as pivotal to his happiness.

ahhhh you’ve gone with the baseball bat again, I see. Excellent choice, my love 🫠

‘I’m sorry’ was just crystals of salt dropped in the gulf.

HAZEL!!! I CAN’T!!!

“I’m beginning to think it doesn’t matter.” He pulled himself closer again. Brady was nothing compared to the threat of losing you. “I’ve never been a bigger failure in all my life than last night. In every way. To myself and to you.” What a joke he was. How high and mighty and curated he tried to be that he forgot the point of it. A shield he turned to you was just a barrier between what he desperately wanted by his side. His tears returned with renewed vigor, the complete breakdown of his manicured image was a tell tale heart he couldn’t smile away anymore, the greatest weakness he was never so happy to call his own. Muffled by your clothing and inviting lap, “I just love you so much…” he choked and then sucked in a deep breath to try and get control of himself, shifting his face to the side again to watch your face for an immediate reaction to his question, “Do you want to leave me?”

A MUTTERED CONFESSION!!! YOU KNOW WHAT HAZEL YOU WIN THE WAR OKAY?? MY CASTLE HAS BEEN SUFFICIENTLY PLUNDERED AND YOU CAN RULE OVER MY SOUL AND DOMAIN AS YOU PLEASE — I WAS A FOOL TO EVER KEEP UP THE FIGHT!

He couldn’t promise himself he wouldn’t keep that little yellow fabric in his hands even after you parted, but he could swear to not try and guilt you back into his arms. 

I really don’t know how I’ve made it this far… I’m being pummeled into DUST

Take his heart back? His mind finally processed the words. It was yours. The morning had proved to him he couldn’t claw it back if he truly wanted, and if he was further honest with himself, he didn’t want it. It was better off with you. He felt the air cooling the once body-warm tears, he whispered what he felt was too vulnerable to say at full volume, “But, it’s not mine anymore. Isn’t that obvious?” His eyes looked down at your feet pointed in towards his own. Was this pathetic display not making it glaringly evident he was a man turned inside out? Guts in his hands and heart in yours?

transforming from dust into vapor…

His body was a tool, and he’d use every tool he had available to make you understand what you meant to him. Would you feel different now, now that he knew you loved him? Would he find your body warmer, more inviting… Could he make you scream your love for him?

Later, he would have to bookmark that idea. The confession was too fragile still, a crystal figurine too precious to even take out of the box. 

AND THEN YOU END THIS FUCKING MASTERPIECE WITH TWO PARAGRAPHS THAT MAKE ME WANT TO FLING MYSELF INTO THE OCEAN (AFFECTIONATE)

A Doe in Fall (Part 13)

⟢HumanAlastor x FemaleBurlesquerReader - A Doe in Fall

A burlesquer with a penchant for conning men, you find your latest game interrupted when your next mark saves you from an aggressive fan— by killing him. The chance encounter left you curious, still half convinced you could complete your normal chase. Unbeknownst to you, you were the one being tracked.

Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦 Part 7 - Recognition smut💦 Part 8 - Trust sexual 🥵 Part 9 - Shiny Things Part 10 - Good Deeds Part 11 - Caught Part 12 - Eddie Part 13 - The Release 📍

Late? Yes. Buuuuut

If ya missed it:

Oct 19th Kinktober Day 19 - Proffer smut💦 Oct 13th Kinktober Day 13 - Handled smut💦

Where we left off: Autumn got released from the station to learn Alastor is at an unknown place called the Golden Dish.

Part 13 The Release

Two idiots meet on a sidewalk, one is drunk and one is stressed. Angst ensues. First Half is reader’s POV, second is Alastor’s POV.

「Warnings/Promises: Human Alastor x Fem!Reader, two parts in one, still not smut cuz we’re waiting for the special moment, surprise Latin, Alastor drunkenly remembers his accent, angst, first fights, muffled confessions, bare feet, too much alcohol, Mimzy is her own tag, I promise she’ll be back」

MDNI 🥃 😵‍💫

The Release (Autumn)

Your relief Alastor wasn’t there was clouded by the slight hurt Alastor wasn’t there.

Any ability to mask your true feelings left you with the exhaustion of being arrested at work, in front of customers and companions alike. This was made obvious by Johnny’s slight pat to your shoulder, “Want me to walk you there?”

You shook your head. Everyone already knew too much. 

“It’s not too far, I think… I’ll be fine.” You could imagine Alastor’s panicked face. Had you ever actually seen it though? 

With a wave, you left Johnny and began the walk to, presumably, the Golden Dish. It was cold, already the night bringing a chill. Eyes to your feet, you realized you were still in her shoes. 

Where had she walked in New Orleans? Where did she meet Alastor’s father? You had to wonder what he had looked like. Surely he was handsome. Was he kind to her, like Alastor was to you? Or had it been a one night stand?

A small smile, she didn’t look like the type but looks could be deceiving. Alastor didn’t look like the kind of man who kissed bloodied cheeks and tossed heads into holes.

Flipping the card over again, you lifted it to the light. 

Tentatively you brought it to your nose and gave it a sniff. No perfume. 

The list of possibilities ran wild. 

You knew he wasn’t a virgin, and he’d mentioned before he’d been happily coupled with others before his preferences became their frustrations. But you’d never stopped to really imagine it past a fleeting image. Alastor kissing someone else. Alastor going down on someone else. Did he enjoy it as much as he enjoyed you?

It wasn’t necessarily jealousy, but your stomach did a little flip. Did they properly express their gratitude? Doubtful. How many times did he acquiesce to his partner’s wants and then be treated like it was the expectation and not an exception of his affections?

It wasn’t as late as you had thought and the streets were busy. It made you feel a little safer. Not having a purse helped that.

You weren’t entirely sure where Rosseau was, and after stopping a very lovely looking couple, you got hastily pointed toward the water. Anxiously, you kicked up your pace. The closer you got, the more nervous you were to see him. Not knowing how he felt, be it angry or worried or a mix of the two, was doing you in. Turning left, you practically jogged down the street in search of The Golden Dish.

On the first pass, you didn’t find it. You crossed the street and tried again, getting more of the buildings into sight. Nothing.

Crossing back, you found the door with a shiny golden number three.

The restaurant looked nice, but it wasn’t the Golden Dish. The name above the door was Grano D'oro.

You leaned into the alley, hoping maybe there was a man waiting with a secret door. It was pristine; no men, no trash, no mystery liquids.

Taking a moment to smooth your hair and adjust your dress, you walked in.

The entrance was lavish, the floor a black and white marble and fixtures that shined like gold. A man stood behind a host stand, looking at you expectantly. When you were within a few feet, he asked if you had a reservation.

“Uh, no. I’m looking for Alastor.”

“Does Alastor have a reservation?” He looked down, presumably at a paper of names, and then back up at you.

You looked past the parted red curtains into the dining room. “I don’t think so…ah! I have a card.” You handed it over and he gave it a look, flipping it over before nodding. “Just a moment, miss. Please wait here. You’re welcome to use the ladies room to clean up.”

From insulted to panicked, you realized you’d forgotten about your face. Pushing the heavy wooden door open to the bathroom, your reflection caught you off guard. Your eyes were encircled in black, scleras red, blush smeared into your hairline, and your lips were soft around the edges from misplaced lipstick. You looked like a wreck in human form.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” you grabbed a tissue from the nearest stall and wetted it under the faucet, removing every bit of make up you could. The skin under your eyelashes still had a darkness to them and nothing could be done for the bloodshot eyes, but you let that go. You did away with the lipstick entirely, and most of the blush was out of your hair and off your cheeks. Now you just looked tired. 

Mortified, you remembered the couple you’d stopped and asked for directions from. They must have thought you’d had a fight or were some loon. Hell, maybe that was why no one stopped to bother you.

With one more glance at your disheveled appearance you sheepishly returned to the entrance and peeked into the dining room again. Everyone was dressed so nicely. You could imagine Alastor fitting in quite well. The host returned, not saying a word and sans Alastor. Before you could find the courage to ask him anything, a hand smacked your arm from behind.

“I thought you’d be more fatale and less femme. Anyways, your deadweight’s in the alley.” 

A small woman with bleach blonde hair had snuck up behind you, seemingly from the outside, “He’s got his card back. He’s your problem now!”

She brushed past you and disappeared into the restaurant.

“Have a nice evening.” The host dismissed you. A confused pause, the series of events had been so fast you were left quite literally spun around. 

When you tentatively turned back to leave, you saw Alastor stumbling onto the sidewalk. 

“Hey! Alastor.” You half shouted, Alastor seemingly unaware of his surroundings. Apparent in how he nearly collided into a group passing the restaurant.

He turned, smiled, and rushed towards you. Taking your head in his hands he kissed you on the lips, and when you pulled back he leaned in, tongue pressing into your mouth.

You screamed into his mouth, pushing him off. Looking back briefly before dragging him away, you saw the host staring at you through the clear windowed door. He was not impressed. As much as you enjoyed his kisses, it was out of character and out of class to make out on the sidewalk. 

Parks were different. Parks were made for such things. 

“What has gotten into you? You taste like a fucking distillery.” You reached the corner of the street and stopped, “Where’s your car?”

He was drunk. Completely smashed. Normally you wouldn’t care, drunk Alastor could be quite cute. But you’d been prepared for and in need of someone to talk to. Someone to ease the mess of feelings in your gut. Instead you were handed a job as caretaker and impromptu driver. You’d have to wait until the morning for any kind of sympathetic comfort. 

He hadn’t even mentioned the arrest yet or asked you how you were. Yes, he looked elated to see you. Eyes wide and adoring when he took you by the face. But you needed more than adoration now. And instead you had a mess of a man struggling to maintain his balance.

On the safety of his porch, or perhaps together at a bar, it’d be just fine. 

But this was neither safe nor fine. 

Alastor pulled his arm from your hold, “At that little park. Audubon.” He pointed west, saying it with a perfect accent. “Anyway, I’m gonna kill him. Maybe right now! Did I tell ya? I know where he lives.” He crossed the street without looking. 

You had to run to catch up to him, his long legs carrying him further and faster than you. It took a second to understand who he was talking about, clearly he’d been having a silent conversation until now. “Alastor. You’re drunk. No.” You managed to get in front of him, eyes surely begging.

“Alastor, yes. He’s got two kids, a wife. He stays out late, obsessin’ over us no doubt.”

“Alastor!” He stumbled past you and toward the park. “Hey. You can’t-,” 

He wheeled around on his heels, hand pointing a sharp finger at you. 

“Who are you to stop me? To tell me,” a pause as he lost his balance and leaned too far to the right, catching himself with a sneer to his own legs. He turned back and continued on his way, “what I can and cannot do.” You stopped. The sound of his mother’s shoes no longer snapping behind him made Alastor pause his clumsy march and look back at you. “Are ya really not comin’?” His sharp tone had shifted down to a whiny, almost pleading one.

“Who am I, Alastor?” In the past you’d try to hide when you were wounded, as prey animals often do. But you were different from who you were before. Already, you were changed. Hiding yourself from him felt like betrayal, so you’d abandoned it some time ago. Your chin quivered, hands gripping the sides of your dress in stress. Your eyes were pleading with him to not do this. To not throw you away so easily. Diminish you with one slurred sentence. It felt like a dare to your pride. A choice, your self respect or his attention. It was a rhetorical question, as the answer would be a revelation to an entirely different quandary. 

He laughed, “Now who’s drunk?” Your arms crossed your chest and your eyes narrowed further into slits. 

“I thought you’d stop if I asked. I thought I was your equal in this.”

“Well!” He gawked, “This is different. He isn’t like the others. Mister Detective Kenneth Brady is-,” he practically yelled it into the night.

“Shhh!” You hissed, a couple crossing the street to put distance between you both and themselves, “Give me your key. You can’t drive like this.”

Alastor stared you down, his height finally mattering in a way you didn’t like. 

Your eyes narrowed further, Alastor. Unspoken and yet screamed across the sidewalk. You weren’t scared of him, of his height or his sharp eyes or the fact you knew he so often carried a knife beneath his vest. No. Because he was a smart man and a smart man would never be so stupid as to physically harm you. Not unless he planned to kill you. And Alastor wouldn’t do that unless you were honestly bad.

The only way he could ever truly hurt you was with that cutting muscle behind his teeth. 

He tried to straighten his back to gather some kind of dignity and perhaps a show of dominance but stumbled backwards. He caught himself again with the brick wall beside him. 

Mind racing, you had to think of alternatives. Fight him for the keys? Cut into his tires? Just leave him to his own selfish devices? 

He could afford to fix the rubber tires, you thought. You couldn’t afford him running off the road. 

“If you want me to come with you, I am driving. Make your decision now.” You put your hand out, an indication there was only one answer you expected. When his eyes flitted from your palm to your face and stared blankly, you closed it. “I won’t let a man waste my time when I’m just trying to help him. You’ve got me confused with someone else.”

Turning around, you walked the way you’d both just come because truth be told you had no idea how to get home from where you were. You just needed to get away from him before you said something you didn’t mean. Before he said something you couldn’t forget. 

You’d barely gotten five steps when you heard a clank to the ground. Turning just enough to see behind you, you noticed the car door key on the sidewalk. Alastor’s grin wide and childlike.

Never had you felt true anger for him before. The water rising in your chest raged against your ribs and you were sure you’d drown in your own fury before long. Another second of imagined possibilities — kick them into the storm drain, throw them into a bush, take them and leave entirely.

Before you could pick one he stumbled over while bent in half the entire time, scooping the keys and holding them out for you to take.

A list of names flew over your tongue but stayed behind your clenched teeth, snatching the keys from his hand and leaving him to struggle behind you. 

The walk was silent, Alastor several paces behind you with his hands in his pockets.

He slumped against the passenger side window the entire car ride home. You struggled with the shifting stick, and he didn’t offer any help. A petulant brat pouting into the glass.

As soon as you’d gotten into the house Alastor made a sloppy beeline to the sofa and fell face first.

“You’re mad at me.” You said from the doorway, dropping his keys into the bowl beside the door. It felt odd, you were the one who had every right to be pissed. But he was showing it in a much more egregious way. His anger made the least sense to you. 

“No. I’m mad.” He grabbed a pillow and tucked it under his head. “Full stop.”

Obviously, but why? Not an ounce of compassion could be managed for you? When you were the one who’d been humiliated and dragged from your place of work in handcuffs? 

“You’re acting like a child. Go to your bed. I’ll sleep here.” Sleeping alone in his bed didn’t seem right.

“You’re talkin’ to me like a child.” He closed his eyes, apparently in a fake sleep.

“You really don’t see the connection between those two things?? Atleast— go to the guest bed.” His mother’s old room. You absolutely didn’t want to sleep there. 

“No.” He didn’t look at you. 

You stared for a moment, disbelief painted on your face as your own frustration swelled again.

“Suit yourself. I don’t have patience for this, Alastor. You’re acting like a brat when I’m the one who had the hard night.” You turned to go upstairs before coming back, something your mother always did in arguments that you hated, “And I really don’t appreciate the way you’re treating me. We’ll talk in the morning.”

He didn’t even stir.

After placing his mother’s shoes at the end of the bed, you got undressed and properly washed your face. It wasn’t until you were under the covers, alone, did you begin to cry. It was mostly anger, if you were honest. But a good dose of self pity mixed in. Practically running to find him, after thinking about just him for hours before, and to be met with a drunken child was disappointing beyond measure. And the disrespect of tossing his keys…

The bed felt so big and so foreign now. Just sitting in it made you feel like shit. A stranger, unwanted in someone else’s home. You could remember the uneasy feeling you had when your mother would leave you with friends when she had work. How every inch moved felt like you were brushing into poison ivy, it wasn’t your space, you didn’t know the rules or the norms. Now you felt you no longer knew your place in Alastor’s home. 

If you weren’t scared you’d never see him again you’d have just walked the several hours home. Knees to your chin, you didn’t bother with wiping away your tears. It added to the wallowing you were experiencing.

What did he mean? Why would he say it like that? Had it been a lie the whole time, that he’d stop killing if you asked him to? Alastor had never hissed quite like he had then. 

It felt like a lie, and now you questioned everything. Maybe while you worked he was out killing people. You never pushed him much about what he did while you were away.

A secondary thought simultaneously played with that one. No, you’d have noticed him at night taking care of the body. Your face slipped past your knees and pressed into the tops of your thighs, as quickly as the fear receded your melancholy swept back in.

Fine, but if he lied about stopping then you didn’t mean as much as he claimed.

Which was fine, you lied to yourself. You just needed to know the parameters so you could stay within them. Not take things too seriously. Not expect too much from him.

Not give too much of yourself. 

A second wave of tears, chin trembling.

Idiot. 

Maybe Brady had been right. Were you just some dumb dame? You’d done so much for him and now with some liquor you were just another person to him.

Then a sickening feeling made your throat tighten. Had getting arrested made you no longer attractive? Perhaps he blamed you. Being publicly dragged into a police station was the closest he had ever been to being found out and it was your fault. Fuck, even his name. That had been you who said it so casually. 

You didn’t want to be somewhere you weren’t welcomed.

Slipping out of bed, you pulled your bag from the closet and sat it on the dresser.

You couldn’t believe you had wanted to tell him you loved him. How long had you choked back those words for your own personal safety, just to be in a man’s home far from your own with no real way back. You pulled your dresses from the closet, and paused.

Alastor had been lovingly removing your stockings just a week or so ago. 

After tossing innards into the water. He’d showed you where he buried the only evidence of his expansive crimes. He trusted you with things he’d never shown anyone, something you felt sure of given his freedom. 

Glancing up through tear-heavy lashes, you saw your reflection in the mirror and remembered how he kissed your shoulder and undressed you. His promise to keep you warm.

A shiny and sunlit movie played of him slipping off your shoes and putting yours on his feet. 

Your mother had always said you were too quick to give up when things didn’t come easy. You resented that, but now it was ringing painfully true. 

You put the dresses back, tossing your bag to the floor and kicking it halfheartedly under the dresser.

Lying down again, you tried to take deep breaths. He’d said he wasn’t mad at you. Was he not allowed to make mistakes? Could he not be angry around you without you taking it personally even when he said it wasn't for you? That was unfair of you. You were expecting a drunk man to speak clearly and with well thought out perception of how he’d be heard. The reasons for his drunkenness were unknown, and when you stopped to consider things more, you’d never just out right told him how you felt. Until you were upset and going up the stairs. Admittedly, to your defense, he was very drunk. 

He owed you an apology, that was absolutely expected given the way he’d spoken and tossed his keys, but he’d done enough to earn the right to explain himself before you just up and left in the middle of the night.

The idea of him waking up to an empty home and a migraine almost brought you back to tears. Alastor’s distaste for being alone had become clear, in the way he used to go out often just to have dance company, how he so quickly pulled you into his home and lap. You’d feel his heart break from across the river if you up and left while he slept. 

Johnny had said he was a mess before, clearly he did care to some degree. You’d trusted him this long. You’d killed a man for him. You could give him a night to be an ass and hear him out in the morning.

But if he didn’t apologize, if he didn’t seem to understand how selfish and unkind he had been to you… You rolled onto your side and tried to straighten your legs but felt vulnerable like that. Pulling them up again you curled into a ball and focused on deep calming breaths. It would be fine. The best way to find out if someone was worth trusting was to trust them. Alastor had been worth so much more than you’d expected a person could be. This was just a hiccup. 

Thinking back on past relationships, you realized most first fights were also your last fights. If you and someone had friction, it was easiest to walk away and try again. There was no expectation of a picture perfect romance, not at all. But once someone disappointed you, it was hard to see them again in a positive light. Throwing things away had always been simpler than putting in the work to fix them. Once you’ve done that, you’ve shown someone your hand. You’ve shown them they mattered and they could use that against you. 

People who knew they were important to you could hold that over your head and push just how much they could get away with. 

Alastor, what more could he do? What on earth could he possibly get away with? He had no interest in stepping out, and he couldn’t easily date when his hobbies and home were crime scenes.

The person with the most to lose was him, you realized. Maybe not lose you, you didn’t pretend you were that important to him. But his life away from iron bars and cuffs was now dependent on you. If he had always been a few too many drinks away from fucking that all up, he’d have been caught a long time ago. 

He would make it better. He would say whatever really happened in the morning and fix it. You could trust that and let your eyes finally close. Alastor hadn’t failed you yet, and you believed he wouldn’t start now. 

When you woke up, it was early. Unnaturally early for you. But stress did that. Whatever the opposite of Christmas morning, that was the mechanism pulling you out of bed as the sun was just beginning to rise. 

He was still asleep on the couch when you crept down the stairs. He looked like shit. Which made you feel a little good. If he looked perfect it’d be immensely dissatisfying. You tried to open the back door quietly but the old hinges whined and the swollen wooden door snapped against the frame when you let it go. 

Sitting on the top of the porch steps that led to the backyard, if you could call such an expanse that, you tried to take in the wet cool air. It was officially fall. Soon you’d have to pull out your coat. Your toes wiggled against the flaking paint of the steps, you still needed to go home and get your shoes. 

A groan and you doubled over, you were assuming so confidently that you’d still be staying with Alastor. That was a good thing, right? Or…. you weren’t sure. You had no healthy relationships to look to for guidance. Rolling your back up, you looked up at the dark cobalt sky fading into baby blue, a color that matched the ceiling of the porch above you. 

You heard the creak of the screen door and felt the old wood bend behind you as he finally stumbled out. He plopped down beside you, before lowering himself to his right side and resting his head on your lap. He stared out at the greenhouse like you did. Your hands twitched to touch him, but you kept them to your sides. 

“You are my darling.” He said with a raspy voice hoarse from an intoxicated dehydration. You finally looked at him, but he didn’t meet the gaze. “That’s who you are.”

“You sure didn’t make me feel like your anything last night.” Your tone was cold and sharp, spoken like a stranger scolding another. Stay strong, you thought. Make him understand how he made you feel before, even if you were already cooling off. 

You saw the fabric of your white slip turn a storm grey beneath his face, tears tumbling across the bridge of his nose before seeping into the night dress.

“I know. I’m sorry. I was so,” he sighed and you took your opportunity.

“Drunk.”

“Enraged.” He whined, eyelids coming to act as a poor dam, “And drunk.”

“And disrespectful.”

He groaned now, shoulders tightening in shame, “That too.”

You understood he was angry. Did he think you weren’t? You’d been humiliated. You’d been interrogated. 

“I want to split his skull with an ax.” His fingers were playing with something beneath his closed thighs, hands pressed between them.  “I’m sorry. I— you were not wrong.” You caught a glimpse of the bright yellow handkerchief being wrung between sweaty palms with nervous fingers when he finally opened his legs. “I didn’t know what to do with myself when your manager said you’d been arrested. I almost drove my car into the station doors.”

“So getting zozzled and shouting the personal details of a New Orleans detective into the night seemed… the better option? When I had already had a difficult evening?” You felt a flame in your chest again. “When I needed your support? Comfort?”

He nodded, slick and smooth face gliding over the silk. A sob, choked and broken as he buried his head again into your lap. “I’d never felt so helpless, I just…I responded very selfishly. I’m sorry.” 

The heavy and hot indignation finally began to cool in you, and you let yourself run your fingers through his hair. 

“Will you ever let me kill him?” He asked your thighs.

You thought for a moment. The safety in Alastor’s killings were the degrees of separation between him and his targets. The plausible deniability. The lack of obvious motive. If you could find that same safety net when killing Brady, then, sure. “When he’s no longer a threat to us. When no one will be shocked to hear he’s dead.” 

His arms came to hold onto your legs, soft pads of his digits stroking the skin beneath your clothing.

“He went too far.” Alastor muttered, moving his head enough to look at you from the corner of his eyes. 

“And he knows your name.” You added, the arrest being of equal importance if not less. 

“I’m beginning to think it doesn’t matter.” Alastor inched his body closer to you. “I’ve never been a bigger failure in all my life than last night. In every way. To myself and to you.” His head turned, the soft and sharp features alike of his face burying into your lap. A gentle shake of his shoulders as he lost his fight to not weep openly into you broke your heart. He let out a weak and muffled series of sounds, followed by a louder and clearer, “Do you want to leave me?”

Wincing, you remembered how close you’d been to doing just that. It was good though that he asked. Indicating Alastor knew how serious you took the way he had acted the night before. 

You pulled his head up by the back of his collar. With your first good look at him in the crisp orange morning light you could see his lips were red and raw from nervous chewing, his hair lacking its usual shine or form. The right side of his face was wet. Tears new and old began to reroute and slide down his high cheeks and pointed jaw. They met at the very bottom of his chin, for the first time in their short lives, and dropped onto you in little couplings. Falling like they were made to always do just that. Just now. Just for him. A fate you could understand so naturally it was bordering on unnerving. A love story you were sure you were playing out.

How rarely you’d seen a man cry. In the past perhaps you’d have been put off. Cringed. Considered it a pathetic show of weakness and lost respect for them. But all you could feel now was a pain so deep and all encompassing it felt as if your skin was cracking off. A dry river bed in the heat of summer. What had been there before? Disgust? Indifference? Even his tears were of a magnitude more important than anyone else’s. Every piece of him mattered more to you. 

Leave him? Of course not. No matter what he did, dead or alive, monster or man, you would never hate him enough. And that wasn’t necessarily a good thing. No, that absolutely wasn’t a good thing. A dangerous something he could never fully be told. 

Oh.

Ruth’s words on the roof crawled from their grave and tugged at your ankles. 

You were in that worst kind of love; Unconditional. 

Fireworks were out of the question but you could manage something for him. You had to tell him. Things were too far gone now and you couldn’t be sure how much time was left now that Brady had a name.

“Give me a little time. I’ll show you how stupid of a question that is over our first fight,” Your thumbs wiped away his tears. The handkerchief came back to view, so you gingerly took it and dabbed the sacred lacrima from his cheeks. You took his head between both hands and stared unflinching into the sweet, sun kissed brown of his eyes, “I never want to leave you. Even if I do, even if somehow I’m convinced to go, you’ll have to rip your heart out of my cold dead hands or I’ll take it with me.” 

“What have I told you? Don’t mention those things. The spirits are listening.” He attempted a gentle smile through his tear stained cheeks and you couldn’t stop yourself from kissing him. How could someone so good with a knife be so soft?

Another torrent of tears from him and a reply so earnest and so sure your body leaned back with surprise, “But, it’s not mine anymore. Isn’t that obvious?” He half whispered it into the ether.

Please, you begged whoever listened when you prayed, don’t weaken my self respect. Straightening your back to summon some form of resolve, you voiced it.

“If you ever speak to me like you did last night again, with that sharp tone and cruel words, sober or not…” you trailed off, begging him to not make you say it. Don’t force you to make threats you didn’t want to keep. Things you’d be ashamed of not following through with. Little self failures you were genetically predisposed of committing. 

“You can take my heart with you.” 

A wonderful reply.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

The Release (Alastor)

When Alastor didn’t see you at the side door or back street, he dared to walk around the block to the front of the theater. He was surprised, like many others, to find the doors locked.

A trickle of fear dropped down his spine. Worst case scenario didn’t quite exist as some ladder of concerns, he just felt tremendous fear you were dead. That was the only rung. Had someone been watching you, that he didn’t notice as he was too preoccupied with watching Brady? 

“Alastor?” 

His eyes snapped from the marquee to the young man poking his head out of the doors. 

He nodded, “Johnathon, right?” Alastor moved on autopilot, hand coming to shake your manager’s.

“Johnny. Come inside.”

Alastor didn’t move. Hand still in the air between them. Johnny registered the distinct lack of light in Alastor’s eyes. He took a deep breath in, Alastor looked like a photograph of a man before him. There but, just a facsimile of human.

“She’s okay. Come on.” He gestured firmly, Alastor blinking back to life and slipping in.

Ruth hopped from her seat at the sight of the tall paramour. 

“The bastard arrested her! Prostitution.” 

Alastor’s mouth opened and then closed. He swallowed, then smiled, and his head did a little tilt. Ruth looked from him to Johnny. Alastor’s rolodex of canned responses spun infinitely around in his mind. Nothing was catching. There wasn’t a facial expression or comment or body posture in existence he had prepared for this conversation. Because he hadn’t ever predicted such a situation.

“He did it in front of everyone. He made a real scene of it.” Johnny leaned against the bar and tapped a cigarette, “I told her I’d fill you in.”

Brady had arrested you. You’d been arrested. 

“Prostitution?” Alastor finally spoke.

Ruth shook her head, “Yeah but absolute bullshit. She doesn’t have any want or need for extra money.”

Alastor nodded. It wasn’t his worry. His eyes quickly flitted around the air to the concern of the other two, searching his memory for any sense.

The man he punched? What was his name again? No. He didn’t know where you worked. He didn’t know your name. 

But, perhaps— no. He blinked away his runaway errands list.

“Any idea of the bond? How much should I bring?” He patted his pockets, fingers fumbling when he fished out his wallet. “I could get more, but I’ll need to go—,”

He was in disarray, a tremble in his hands making him pause and stare at his own body with a loss of recognition.

“I’m not sure…” Johnny said it slowly, “Ruth could you grab her bag from the back for me.”

When she was out of ear shot Johnny set his hand on Alastor’s, who was still staring in confusion at his own limbs, and made him lower the wallet.  

“Hey, I was there that night you cornered Tommy into the booth. I saw you two. The night he hit her. Tommy was a real piece of shit. And I’m glad he’s gone.”

Alastor’s eyes met Johnny’s and he wondered what he looked like to the other man. He felt the corner of his frozen smile twitch but he managed to keep from reacting otherwise. How many missteps had he taken?

For a moment, time stood still and he imagined dragging Johnny into the alley by his neck. Then Ruth. Who else needed to go? He’d carry them all away into the dark. 

“I'm no rat! I didn’t tell anyone anything.” A beat as he tried to read the face Alastor was making. A small tight smile and wide eyes that made Johnny’s skin crawl. Was he angry? No, his brows weren’t scrunched up. Was he suspicious? Maybe. Whatever feeling a trapped fox feels when the hound is close. But Johnny didn’t register that. “Just, ya know, I’m glad someone told him off. He was shaking like a leaf after. Anyway,” a nervous clearing of his throat, “I don’t think you should go to the precinct. I’ll go, I’ll pay the bail with some cash from the safe. You two can pay it back.”

No response. Alastor’s thoughts a tangled ball of red wool yarn, every time he tried to pull out a coherent reply the knot seemed to tighten and stiffen. He leaned back a little, trying to fit more of Johnny into his view. Wanting all of the smaller man to be seen.

“I feel kinda responsible. I should have spoken up when I learned what he was doing.” Johnny offered a smile of his own, something about it made him look younger than he was. “Just tell me where you’ll be, I’ll send her that way when she’s released. Maybe in the morning.”

“Responsible for what?” Ruth smacked Alastor’s arm with your small black handbag.

“For her arrest. I should have done more.” Johnny thanked her for the bag. “Where should I say you’ll be?”

“I’ll wait in my car.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’ll go crazy like that, just find somewhere quiet and have a drink.” Ruth turned Alastor around and pushed him towards the doors. 

“The Golden Dish. I’ll be there. Just,” Alastor stopped to pull a card from his wallet and hand it to Johnny, “Tell her to give the host this card and ask for me.”

“Well, go have a drink, try to just… try to stay calm.” Ruth’s words barely entered his mind as he stumbled out into the night. Thoughts came so quickly and in such a multitude that Alastor found his head entirely empty, unable to latch onto any single one.

He was unlocking his car door and then he looked up — he was across the street from the station. How he got from the theater to here was unknown to him. Clearly he had driven, but with what mind he had no idea. 

Long fingers gripped the steering wheel, knuckles an uncomfortable white with the force. How much would it take to snap the wheel? Had anyone ever tried before?

A deep breath, he didn’t remember holding it until his head began spinning. In the mess of thoughts, he saw flashes of what he could do. Questions to narrow down his options. Did the rooms have windows? Could he climb in one and drag Brady out?

But he didn’t know how many people there were. How many rooms. Where Brady was. Where you were.

Deep breath, he was holding it again and the thought of you being grilled by a cop made him involuntarily gasp for air.

There was no fear you’d say anything. It simply didn’t exist. Even trying to conjure the idea of you telling anyone who he was and what he did was ridiculous to him. A dark part of him knew that notion was born out of a blinding fear and not out of true trust. Because if you did such a thing, it’d mean he’d been wrong about everything. That he couldn’t trust his own decisions anymore. What would he do if you did confess?

Well, he was quite sure he’d die. Perhaps not literally. But Alastor as he was would wither and disappear. He’d be someone —- something entirely different.

But he didn’t stop to think about that. Because it wasn’t a possibility. 

With a full body tremble, Alastor leaned back into the seat and ran his fingers through his hair. He felt torn down the center. Half of him was marching into the station and doing…. He wasn’t sure. The rest was just black.

Half of him was driving away to go hide in a glass of whisky until you were released.

What would you want him to do?

He started the car and headed toward the river’s edge, hoping to find a parking spot not too far from the illicit bar.

Alastor made a beeline for the bathrooms just past the entrance of the Grano D'oro. His hair was mussed, his pupils constricted. He drew his bottom lip in and began chewing it nervously, hands pushing his hair back into some form of style. A cough to clear out his tightening throat, he straightened his bow tie and suit jacket. Staring at his reflection, he flinched. An unsettling feeling in his bones that if he stared long enough, it would take on a life of its own.

Something wasn’t right. His nightmares were back and following him around in his waking hours. Terrors of losing his control over himself. Deep seated insecurities about his work.

Alastor approached the host and explained his card was on loan to someone who would be by later. Normally it didn’t work like that, no card meant no entry. But Alastor was a regular. The man nodded and led Alastor into the main dining hall.

Alastor offered passing pleasantries to a few people and smiled as he was escorted past them to the private dining section of Grano D'oro. Separated by another large but closed curtain, the host moved it aside and let Alastor enter. The hall had a few doors but two large doors swung out from the kitchen.

Through the kitchen, with a smile and another nod to the staff who all sang his name as he walked by, Alastor made it to the barely visible door to the side.

Finally, he descended the stairs to the very lively and very lovely bar of his dear friend, Mimzy.

She clapped her hands enthusiastically at the sight of him, taking him by the arm and dragging him to the counter.

“Little late for you isn’t it? Shouldn’t you be at home with your heart.” She dragged out the word, eyes rolling not at the idea of you but at the idea of someone being more important than a night out.

Alastor plopped onto the stool and came to rest both elbows on the bar, “Should be.”

“Fight?” She was already wiping down a glass for him, his head was in his hands which was… a new sight. Sloppily, with some splashing out and onto the bar top, she poured two fingers and slid it to him.

“Worse. Arrest.” His hands curled around the cup and he considered not drinking it at all. His mother warned him to never drink alone and never drink when upset. He fudged the first rule often. But he really did follow the second. 

“Oh fuck.” Mimzy added two more fingers to the glass. “What for?”

He stared into the whisky before taking a large mouthful and forcing it down with a burning gulp, “Prostitution.” He croaked.

“That’s not illegal.” 

Alastor’s stress was momentarily broken and he looked incredulously at who could be called his closest friend, “Yes, it is, Mimz.”

With a hand on her hip she looked up in thought, “Huh…. Well, ya learn something new every day!”

Alastor held the glass with both hands now, “You do know alcohol is illegal, right? Production and consumption?” He watched her face sour, hand moving to gesture at the windowless room they were in.

“Duh. Why else would I be in this makeshift box?” It was rhetorical, Alastor rolling his eyes and lowering his face to his glass. 

Nervously he chewed on his bottom lip, biting red lines into the soft pink flesh. Mimzy stared, unnoticed. She couldn’t remember the last time he looked sad. He did sometimes open up when drunk, perhaps smiling through a pitiful story. Or dancing when she knew he was bruised in either his ego or his heart. But, normally, for Alastor, he kept the obvious and plain emotions kept tightly buttoned up. 

“So, why are you here all long faced? Did you arrest her or something?”

Alastor’s fingers found their way into his hair again, “I might as well have. It’s my fault.”

It was, without a doubt in his mind, his fault. He pulled you in. He killed your boss without any care for what you thought. He made you a shield and a target, stupid. Alastor couldn’t argue against it. 

You’d been forced to lie for him. To sneak and hide from police for him. He was no better than the spineless men he often chased. How could he be so selfish? It stung his chest and his eyes, the thought of you so sweetly sitting beside him just to be dragged into a police station. It was his fault. 

Mimzy hummed, pretending to wipe down the counter, “Then fix it. If you fucking did it, then make it better.”

Yes, obviously, but, “I don’t know how. I-,” Another forced mouthful of whisky, “I roughed up her former guy. For mistreating her. He’s been going around causing trouble now, lying about her. He doesn’t know it was me.” A lie that roughly summed up the trouble. Enough that he could vent, perhaps get third party insight. Though, admittedly, Mimzy wasn’t his first person to turn to for advice. 

“And you can’t just,” she made a fist with her thumb stuck out and dragged it across her neck in a cutting motion, “get rid of the issue?”

Killing Brady would solve everything. And it’d feel good. It’d feel….ah, he leaned back, letting his chest open and fill with the shadow of satisfaction, it’d be the best kill yet. How would he do it, he wondered. It’d have to be special. Slow. Perhaps even over the course of days. Oh, or better yet, perhaps he could show Brady exactly how he disposed of his targets. Piece by piece, taking from him and letting him watch as he buried his parts in deep holes. Giving him all the answers to his questions before snuffing out his nagging life. 

Lost in thought, he didn’t see Mimzy walk away and come back with a different bottle. The big guns, she thought. 

“That a no? Weeell,” She poured herself a glass, “Maybe go talk to the guy. Put the fear of God in ‘em! Let him know if he tries anymore shit,” she waved her finger around, “he’s gonna eat dirt.”

A threat….scare him? 

No one would believe Brady, he considered. If someone pulled him back into the shadows of his tree lined street with a blade to his throat and gave him the warning of what was to come if he kept this up….Did he have any allies in this at work?

“But you can’t do nothing. She’s your gal, right? Arresting her is like….it’s like throwing a drink in your face. He’s embarrassing you.”

A lump rose in this throat, the two large gulps of drink metabolizing and carrying away his ability to remember not to take advice from Mimzy. 

In fact, as he took a slower sip of his somehow still full glass, he thought she was quite right. Brady was testing his pride. Hurting the closest person he had to get at him. This was villain activity. 

If he didn’t reply, he’d be saying he didn’t care at all about you. He’d be the man Brady told you he was. A coward using you until you weren’t convenient anymore. Alastor’s leg began to bounce against the stool’s foothold. Yes, yeah, he had to act. Someone was challenging him. Someone was swinging you around in front of him, taunting how weak he was that he couldn’t even protect you. 

Either Brady thought Alastor was all bark and no bite, only attacking men alone at night, or, worse, he thought Alastor was using you.

Alastor stood quickly, but paused as his head sloshed to the left and he leaned with it. Steadying himself on the bar he looked down at Mimzy.

“Ah, he’s at work.” He stated it plainly, as if Mimzy already knew this. 

“Oh, then just enjoy some drinks and jazz while you wait! When is he off?”

“I don’t know…but, she’ll come get me when she’s released. So….after that?” Alastor was already losing sight of the lie he had told her earlier. He didn’t notice her top up his glass for a third time. 

“Perfect! Now, gossip. You gotta fill me in with the trashy news. You haven’t come by in so long.” She leaned across the bar, swirling her glass clumsily, big eyes blinking.

“Don’t try to distract me. I’m in no mood for such trivial things, Mimz. My love was arrested. At work no less. I’m useless.”

The very notion of thinking about anything but you made his stomach turn. 

As the time ticked on though, that turning was quickly becoming more of a reaction to the liquor and less to do with his stress. 

The only person who knew how much he’d downed was Mimzy, who kept track on his tab with an out-of-character diligence. When the host knocked on the door, she opened it to receive Alastor’s card and knew you must have come for him. 

Getting him up the stairs was difficult, but he was too drunk to let him go through the restaurant. The fine people upstairs had no idea liquor was being served in their fancy dining hall. So Mimzy let Alastor lean on her as she pushed them through the back doors and to the storage room. Opening the trash shoot, she pushed the man out and let him trip through the small opening. 

“This way, big guy,” She tugged him by the lapel through the alley and toward the street. 

She saw you standing there, looking into the restaurant expectedly, and told him to stay put. Mimzy slipped his card into his suit pocket and bee lined to you. You looked different than she’d expected. She wasn’t really sure what she was expecting…actually, on second thought, she had just imagined a female Alastor. Alastor with a perm and an empire waist dress. A little out of fashion but classy. 

She smacked your arm with the back of her hand and left you to him. 

Alastor stumbled onto the sidewalk, the lights blinding compared to the dark and smokey illicit club down he’d just fallen out of. He’d never used the back door, and he decided, somewhere in the mess of his thoughts, he didn’t particularly care for it. 

“Hey! Alastor!”

His head swung around at the sound of your voice, it was you. You were free. Shrugging off his panic like a heavy fur coat he rushed to you, taking your face in his big hands to kiss you. Grateful. He was so grateful you were back. He couldn’t let Brady take you again. How could he show you how seriously he felt?

What did people like? Kisses. People liked kisses. And passion. And touch. 

He’d translate his determination into lavishing you. When you made a yelp and pushed him away, he was confused. Why weren’t you happy to see him? 

Icy cold fear dripped and trickled down his ribs that Brady had said something to make you believe you were just collateral. You pulled him by the wrist, not looking at him, and he felt sure he had made a mistake in not going to the station. 

In the mud that was his thinking, he was sure this was the issue. What an idiot. He never let others tell him how to act or live, and yet he let some manager keep him from seeing you? He let a pissant like Brady take you and whisper poison into your ear. 

He had to fix it. He had to make it better. 

“Where’s your car?”

Ah, his car! Yes! Alastor had the power to make this all better immediately. Why didn’t he do this an hour ago? He couldn’t remember…. Alastor took his arm back, pointing you toward the park, “At that little park. Audubon.” It was a lovely little park, he thought. 

Your breath against his body when you and him first entertained affection came to his mind so intensely he thought maybe he had been pulled back in time. He paused, remembering the last park you both sat in, covered in blood and trembling. 

He needed to make it up to you.

“Anyway, I’m gonna kill him. Maybe right now! Did I tell ya? I know where he lives.” The stalking and studying was part of the fun, it made the meal tastier. And he had been sure to study Brady. When his work ended and you were busy still, he learned everything he could about the nosy cop. 

Unfortunately, most of what he learned was that Brady rarely went home at a normal time and he was relentless in his pursuit of information about you both. Many nights he shadowed the detective and heard Brady pestering and questioning locals about missing people and illegal going-ons at your theater. It wasn’t because he wanted to clean up the streets, that was obvious. Those nightly walks were a pig sniffing around in the mud for a kernel. All he needed was a good enough accusation to rush in and shut shit down. 

“Alastor.” Your voice saying his name pulled him back to the present, he paused for a beat to figure out where he was, he had thought you’d both been in front of the restaurant just a second ago. 

“You’re drunk. No.”

You slipped in front of him, making him nearly collide into you. No? Yes! What did drunkenness have to do with anything? Perhaps you didn’t understand. He did the work! He knew exactly what to do and where to go. Ah, of course. You didn’t know. How could you? He never told you what he did while waiting for you to finish up at work.

“Alastor, yes. He’s got two kids, a wife. He stays out late, obsessin’ over us no doubt.” Raising his head, he felt a swell of pride. Don’t worry, dear. I’ve not made mistakes this time.

You hissed his name as he moved past you, if he was quick he could catch the bastard before he got into his house. His road was lined with trees, shady and quiet. It’d be so easy. Fuck, it was even better suited for his hobbies than alleys and parks. How odd. 

“Hey. You can’t-,”

The word set something off in him. Can’t? Why do people keep telling him what to do or not to do?! Why were people always fucking giving him limitations? 

Brady had done this. You’d never– He was just trying to clean up his mess. Why did people think they could dictate his life so freely? Why did what he wanted to do not matter, even though he was just trying to be a good man?

“Who are you to stop me? To tell me,” He whipped around, losing his balance as he tried to recorrect. Alastor paused to stare down at his legs. Et tu, crura? Even his own body was betraying him. Saying his desires were moot points. Fine, fuck it. He barely needed legs to drive anyway. If he could just do things the way he always did, you’d see how capable he was. Brady would see how fucking stupid he was. Tommy could rot in hell harder if that was an option. 

Ah, it was quiet. How long had he been in his head? Had you said something and he didn’t hear? Oh you had stopped walking. “Are ya really not comin’?”

You had told him to not go alone, to always have you nearby when he killed. You not coming made no sense at all. 

“Who am I, Alastor?” Your voice was high pitched, he could hear your throat constricting. The reason wasn’t known to him though. People often did that before he killed him. 

What an odd question. Had you used your stage name so long you’d forgotten your true one. He laughed, what a silly thing to ask! “Now who is drunk?”

When your arms crossed and you glared back at him, his head cocked to the side. He wondered if you were playing around. You often pretended to be cross with him to make him pull you close and make you smile. 

“I thought you’d stop if I asked. I thought I was your equal in this.”

Not a joke. Well yes, of course you were. But this wasn’t that. 

“Well!” Alastor searched the sidewalk for the words, “This is different! He isn’t like the others. Mister Detective Kenneth Brady is-.” He was getting mad. Not at you, persay, but at the entire mess before him. 

“Shhh!” You seethed, “Give me your key. You can’t drive like this.”

What? 

Oh, so now he can’t drive? Your trust in him had been so eroded with just one private meeting with Brady. And did you shush him? 

Alastor, don’t go to the station. 

Alastor, don’t clean up the mess you made for me. 

Alastor, don’t drive. 

He didn’t want to fight with you. To argue or assert dominance, but…he stood up straighter to simulate sobriety. It failed, his hand jutting out to brace against the wall for stability. A failure that added to a growing pile of failures.

He caught himself and stared back at you. No. It was his car. Alastor was putting his drunken, clumsy foot down.

“If you want me to come with you, I am driving. Make your decision now.” 

When your hand came out for the keys he looked down to it and then back to you. What was that? What were you doing? 

You closed it,  “I won’t let a man waste my time when I’m just trying to help him. You’ve got me confused with someone else.”

Your turning and walking back forward the restaurant made his eyes roll. Oh, the keys still. He pulled them from his pocket, fine, have them. I give up. Failure pile growin’ every minute.

He tossed them into the space between you both, smiling to himself. You wanted the keys, he thought, there you go.

But when you turned around, he could feel the rage rolling off of your body. Alastor couldn’t pinpoint what it was about your face that was different than usual, but just beneath your skin he could see a you he’d never met before. One he didn’t care to meet. 

Fuck. 

He’d fucked up.

A flash of embarrassment sizzled in his stomach before he lurched forward and grabbed the keys, offering them to you properly.

He followed behind, too stubborn to show you the way but unwilling to be without you. 

Leaning into the window, he stared at the city as it rolled by, until it turned to water and then to woods. The air was stiff and suffocating. He hated it. Why were you so mad at him?

Alastor couldn’t understand what had happened. He was so happy to see you but immediately you pushed him away and dragged him off like a child being taken to the headmaster. What had happened at the station, he wondered. There was no way to ask now. The mood was too heavy, and he was too insolent to be the first one to speak. You were mad at him. You didn’t trust him. You, probably, we’re fed up with the complications of his company.

The pain behind his sternum was akin to a splintering rod; stiff, solid, and biting every time he moved. No one had ever made him feel this way before. He couldn’t put his finger on the feeling though, it was sadness, and it hurt, but there was something deeper. Something underneath these shallow reactions that dredged up a vague sense of mourning.

Regret?

He slammed the car door behind him and fell into the sofa as soon as he could. Nothing went right. The day had started so wonderfully… you’d felt like a part of himself he’d finally found. And now….

“You’re mad at me.” He heard the keys hit the bowl. Thank you, he thought. 

Yes. No. Not at you. Not with you. Just, mad. Mad at Brady. Mad at Tommy. Mad at liquor as a general concept. And, the most upsetting, mad at himself. Had he ever been mad at himself before? 

“No.” He sucked in a breath, “I’m mad. Full stop.” He hugged a pillow, he just wanted to be left alone now to wallow in the expanse of these new and awful sensations bleeding into his guts.

He thought it and immediately winced. Not alone alone. Please, if anyone had been listening, please disregard it. That wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t mean that at all.

“You’re acting like a child. Go to your bed. I’ll sleep here.” Your voice was stern, talking down to him. 

“You’re talkin’ to me like a child.” He felt small and stupid. Closing his eyes, he sighed and tried to settle mind. Everything was swimming. Literally. His thoughts and the room were liquid and floating up into the atmosphere. Alastor was confident he would follow them up. 

“You really don’t see the connection between those two things?? Atleast— go to the guest bed.” 

Connection? Yes! You were treating him like a naive child, talking to him like a confused child, pulling him like a disobedient child, holding out your hand to him like he was a selfish child.

“No.” If he opened his eyes he was 90% sure he’d vomit. If he could just bear through the spinning he’d be okay.

“Suit yourself. I don’t have patience for this, Alastor. You’re acting like a brat when I’m the one who had the hard night.” 

He turned his head into the pillow to conceal the frown. 

Patience… there it was. You’d lost patience with him. And you’d been so patient for months now. Waiting in bars and cars while he killed. Waiting for him while he threw body parts into holes and snapping jaws. Waiting for weeks beside him for inspiration to strike and for him to seek your intimacy in more serious touch.

He heard you make it three steps before returning, “And I really don’t appreciate the way you’re treating me. We’ll talk in the morning.”

Alastor’s eyes welled with tears that soaked into the soft yellow pillow. He held his breath until he heard the floor creaking upstairs to let his body shiver with the sob. He’d had you all morning. And he’d kissed you goodbye at work… and then he came to get you. But you were gone. 

He was scared, and angry.

And he got angrier and angrier and now— he couldn’t piece anything together.

Rolling onto his back he held the pillow to his chest. 

Eyes fixed on the ceiling he listened to you prepare for bed. The water ran. The bed groaned. As the liquor took him away the floors creaked again and he hoped maybe you’d come join him on the sofa. Even in silence. Even angry. Just be there so he knew you weren’t done with him entirely. 

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

When Alastor woke he was alone, the sound of the back door shutting startling him into consciousness. The only evidence he had slept and not just shut his eyes for a couple minutes was the light through the curtains. 

For the briefest, sweetest second he felt excited to see you. It was eclipsed near immediately with the nauseating reality that you’d had a fight the night before and you’d told him…. It was hazy. Clenching his eyes shut he searched through the drunken darkness of the night before.

He had to work backwards. You said you’d lost patience. He was treating you poorly. You’d driven him home. He’d thrown his keys at you.

Alastor groaned, feet kicking the end to the sofa in anger. He had tried to make you pick up the keys off the ground, when all you had done was try to take care of him. 

He remembered you tugging him along the sidewalk, before that… you kissed. No, he kissed. He could distinctly remember trying to lick his way into your mouth. On the sidewalk. In front of a very nice restaurant. The yellow pillow was pulled to his face to muffle his scream.

Drinking was the first mistake, continuing to drink was the second. And now you were upset with him.

He was to blame. It was so obvious now. Not just for the arrest and the negative attention but for the entire evening going tits up. 

Throat tightening, a tingle began in his fingertips and worked its way up his wrists. 

Stupid.

Selfish.

Useless.

Throwing the pillow into the chair opposite the sofa he tossed his legs over and sat up. He couldn’t breath, chest heavy. As his lips began to feel like they were stung with tiny needles, he spread his knees and lowered his head between them.

Not now, he yelled at himself, you’re making this about yourself again. Just like last night.

He’d wanted to fix the problems he’d made so badly but stupidly he’d just burdened you further.

There was no future in that moment. All the little daydreams of you and him were suspended and in jeopardy. Until he spoke to you, had the talk you told him was required, he had nothing. 

For all he knew, you’d made up your mind already. How odd. He himself was the cat in the box. He could already be dead and not even know it.

Alastor couldn’t stand another second of not knowing his fate. Lost in the panic he hadn’t considered at all what Brady had said to you. Taking the steps two by two he found the bed empty. Before turning, vaguely remembering hearing the screen door earlier, something caught his eye and made the world spin again with renewed terror.

The handle of your bag peeking out from under the dresser. It had been in the closet, he had emptied it and put it there for you so he knew that to be a fact.

He closed his eyes, bile rising in his throat. Was it full of your things? Were you just waiting to tell him to take you home?

He couldn’t find the courage to check. Rushing past it like it could come to life and grab him by the ankles, he went to the nightstand beside his side of the bed and opened the drawer, the bright yellow of your handkerchief calming him just a sliver. If he kept it, you’d have to come back. He could call you and remind you to come back for it. And then he could convince you to stay. His mother always said he was good with words. If you forgot it at his house when you left he’d have a way to bring you home again. Fresh tears welled, the backs of his hands smearing them into his hairline.

The handkerchief smelled faintly of you still. His bottom lip was sucked between his teeth and the skin picked and pulled. Still carrying the piece of fabric, he leaned over the stairs railing to see you as you sat on the back porch. 

Sitting on the second to last step of the house, he took a moment to collect himself. Being so frazzled, so undone, wasn’t like him. That foreignness just added to the panic. Bringing a hand to his chest, he opened his shirt to run his fingers down his sternum and to the left. A beating heart, evidence he was the survivor in every encounter he’d been in. But now, half a house between your and his back, why did he feel the most in danger? Rarely did fight or flight kick in, the last time he felt it was rolling around with that man who’d tried to choke the life out of you. 

No strange man here now. Just strange feelings. 

The pounding under his fingerprints became sonorous. It was becoming harder to ignore the obvious. 

Deep breaths, he had to prepare his responses. The only way to begin was with an apology, but after that he wasn’t sure where things would go. So he had to make a plan. 

Alastor hoped you’d forgive him, and accept the apology. At which point he would love to imagine himself doing something respectful like kissing your cheeks and thanking you for your mercy. 

If you didn’t accept it….Alastor had never begged a day in his life, but he could see himself begging you to stay. Perhaps hugging your ankles and promising things he didn’t have. There was no longer an impossibility in what he would do, which was alarming. The idea of him being so pathetic and pitiful was nauseating, however there was no one and nothing that could stop that if you got up and left. 

There was no way to run his lines for this. Like many other interactions with you he couldn’t bring the usual tools with him to battle. Either with your wit or point of view, or perhaps today your wrath, you always disarmed him. 

But that was what made you worth the risk. It began as entertainment, but soon enough the dome of your stage extended out and around him, sheltering Alastor in the warm light of your presence. And now as he looked around the railing of his stairs, he was scared to see the exit lights flicker on. 

Walking out the backdoor, he wondered if he would be allowed back in or if the door would lock behind him. 

He knew the exact moment he fucked up, and knew he had to begin there. Barefoot, still in yesterday’s clothes while you were in your night dress, he let himself drop to the space beside you before tentatively bringing his head down to your lap. He avoided eye contact, not yet ready to confront his adjudicator.

The pain in your words from last night were just now beginning to sting his eyes. 

‘Who am I?’

“You are my darling,” It wasn’t until he said it that he realized he hadn’t opened his mouth and spoken yet, his voice was harsh and throat dry. Who were you? It would be easier to list who you weren’t to him now. “That’s who you are.”

No unit of time existed small enough to measure the pause between what he said and your reply, but it felt like a gorge separating his breaths. 

“You sure didn’t make me feel like your anything last tonight.”  He couldn’t remember ever hearing you take such a tone; cutting and cold. Was there no longer warmth in your heart for him? He had been so drunkenly blinded by his own feelings he hadn’t stopped to think about how you were viewing his little tantrum. Maybe he hadn’t ever really had anyone around whose opinion mattered very much.

And he’d made you feel like nothing to him. The mountain of derelictions crumbled under the weight of perhaps his biggest failure of the evening, an avalanche of embarrassment and shame washed over him and he didn’t try to impede his tears. Men were only supposed to cry on their wedding day and at funerals, but he supposed this day could still go either way. Could still be as pivotal to his happiness.

“I know. I’m sorry. I was so,” what word could sum it up?

“Drunk.”

“Enraged.” a high whine caught in his throat, clenching his eyes now as the embarrassment took over stronger than he had thought possible. He felt stupid now saying he was just angry, “And drunk.”

He couldn’t entirely blame the alcohol, but he wouldn’t disagree with you now. 

“And disrespectful.”

Alastor folded in on himself, shoulders drawing in to try and curl up small enough that he ceased to exist in any meaningful way. Disrespectful. He had, he’d disrespected you in public and in private. The stunt with the keys came back and he thought he may just die from the mortification of what he’d done. 

“That too.” His hands nervously wrung the handkerchief beneath his closed thighs. What a terrible morning juxtaposed with the prior day’s bliss. A sigh, soft and weak. He remembered who was the catalyst for his buffoonery. “I want to split his skull with an ax.” 

Argh, it wasn’t about him. “I’m sorry. I— you were not wrong. I didn’t know what to do with myself when your manager said you’d been arrested. I almost drove my car into the station doors.” He was beginning to wish he had.

“So getting zozzled and shouting the personal details of a New Orleans detective into the night seemed… the better option? When I had already had a difficult night?” He flinched at the rising anger in your voice, the rhetoricals were scolding and biting his pride like a nun’s ruler to his knuckles. “When I needed your support? Comfort?”

Perhaps the death blow. All he could do was nod and accept his mistakes. But, it hurt. Not to admit them, but to confront them. Another tidal wave of emotion hit and he had to bury his face back into the cool silk of your nightwear. He couldn’t understand how he had fucked it up so badly. 

No, he had to find words. “I’d never felt so helpless, I just…I responded very selfishly. I’m sorry.” Two words did nothing, they tumbled from his mouth like feathers. Weightless. When the heavy guilt in his chest was threatening to drag him to hell with one misstep, ‘I’m sorry’ was just crystals of salt dropped in the gulf. Actions were all he had left and he wasn’t sure yet you’d give him the time to show you. 

When your fingers grazed his scalp and combed his hair from his ears he shook with relief. A tender touch that promised you didn’t hate him, and his cortisol levels immediately plummeted. He felt safe again, enough to ask what was pestering him still. 

“Will you ever let me kill him?” his lips ghosted over the mercy of your thighs.

As you thought, his fingers ran along the edges of your handkerchief. Feeling the stitched edges with precision as a distraction from the stress of waiting. 

 “When he’s no longer a threat to us. When no one will be shocked to hear he’s dead.” 

No longer a threat… what did that mean? When Brady moved on from you both, or was simply made incapable of doing you harm. He could expedite that, somehow. He was sure of it. 

His arms wrapped around your legs and caressed your thighs through the silk, “He went too far. Turning his head up, he got you into his peripheral. 

“And he knows your name.”

Oh. That … was expediting, wasn’t it? It was bound to happen. 

“I’m beginning to think it doesn’t matter.” He pulled himself closer again. Brady was nothing compared to the threat of losing you. “I’ve never been a bigger failure in all my life than last night. In every way. To myself and to you.” What a joke he was. How high and mighty and curated he tried to be that he forgot the point of it. A shield he turned to you was just a barrier between what he desperately wanted by his side. His tears returned with renewed vigor, the complete breakdown of his manicured image was a tell tale heart he couldn’t smile away anymore, the greatest weakness he was never so happy to call his own. Muffled by your clothing and inviting lap, “I just love you so much…” he choked and then sucked in a deep breath to try and get control of himself, shifting his face to the side again to watch your face for an immediate reaction to his question, “Do you want to leave me?”

He didn’t want the answer. He knew better than to ask. But – if you did, he didn’t want to keep you there. He couldn’t let the moment pass without finding out if you were just putting up with him. If you felt trapped, like Brady promised you that you would. When you told him those things, the silly things the detective had said before, you always laughed. You said it was so ridiculous. But, now, there was nothing funny about the idea. He couldn’t promise himself he wouldn’t keep that little yellow fabric in his hands even after you parted, but he could swear to not try and guilt you back into his arms. 

When you lifted him off of your body by the collar he couldn’t understand the emotion behind it. You were inspecting his face so carefully, but there was no sign of disgust or anger or even adoration to signal how he should feel. The teardrops tickled his cheeks and chin and fell unimpeded to your legs. 

Your eyes kept moving over his features, until a small tug of your lips to the side crept into a smile. Soft and obviously natural.

“Give me a little time. I’ll show you how stupid of a question that is over our first fight,” The pads of your thumbs were soft as they slid down his cheeks and gathered the moisture there. When he pulled the handkerchief to his lap, you took it and used it to further dry his face. He exhaled a broken breath when you took his face in your hands and stared into his eyes. “I never want to leave you.” His body again trembled with relief, blinking away the nth torrent of tears, “Even if I do, even if somehow I’m convinced to go, you’ll have to rip your heart out of my cold dead hands or I’ll take it with me.”

Stop. Don’t say that. “What have I told you? Don’t mention those things.” Death. Leaving. Goodbyes. “The spirits are listening.” They were always listening, watching, hoping to grab a hold of anything you said without precision and deliver you the reality you mused. He didn’t want to lecture, but he couldn’t let it go. Shh, don’t say such things. He could feel the dried tears crack as his eyes crinkled with his smile, a smile that he nearly failed to switch up to return the kiss when you pressed your lips into his. A first fight? He’d never had one of those. Typically he never got that far. Things fell apart the second someone was unhappy or unsatisfied. 

Take his heart back? His mind finally processed the words. It was yours. The morning had proved to him he couldn’t claw it back if he truly wanted, and if he was further honest with himself, he didn’t want it. It was better off with you. He felt the air cooling the once body-warm tears, he whispered what he felt was too vulnerable to say at full volume, “But, it’s not mine anymore. Isn’t that obvious?” His eyes looked down at your feet pointed in towards his own. Was this pathetic display not making it glaringly evident he was a man turned inside out? Guts in his hands and heart in yours?

You sniffled and sat up straight, bringing his attention back to you. 

“If you ever speak to me like you did last night again, with that sharp tone and cruel words, sober or not…” Your words got slower until you stopped, an almost wild look in your eyes he could read as pleading. He shook his own head subtly, unconsciously swearing he wouldn’t. 

If he ever forgot himself and you again, like he had let his rage and weakness do the night before, he didn’t deserve your forgiveness or grace anymore. A woman too good for him.  

Because he couldn’t ever get it back now, “You can take my heart with you.” 

A sickening fact. 

His body was a tool, and he’d use every tool he had available to make you understand what you meant to him. Would you feel different now, now that he knew you loved him? Would he find your body warmer, more inviting… Could he make you scream your love for him?

Later, he would have to bookmark that idea. The confession was too fragile still, a crystal figurine to precious to even take out of the box. 

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[dunmeshistash]

Personally I agree with you that Mithrun knew his friends were all illusions, and tbh, I think he was very okay with it

About Mithrun vs Marcille on the demon's copies of real-life people: Mithrun's desires were all related to image and self-worth, never the actual people in his dungeon. He didn't necessarily want the real thing - arguably he doesn't even like Sultha since he thought of the real one as "sketchy" - he just wanted the image of her, he wanted the image of being better than his brother, he wanted the image of having friends, etc. I believe that's why he was so okay with the demon making fake copies of his friends. It contrasts Marcille being so against the lion's attempt to make a copy of her dad. She wanted her actual father, so she strongly rejected the copy. But Mithrun didn't necessarily want Sultha, he wanted the image of her and the pride that came with her choosing him over his brother, so he likely didn't care that the demon was just making illusions. I agree with you that he was aware, at least on a subconscious level, that he was just playing pretend.

There's also that quote where it said his desire was to be safe from anyone who could harm him. It's possible that he was a bit afraid/paranoid of the real-life counterparts, and thought the illusion people couldn't possibly hurt him, so he felt safer around the fake people and ended up preferring them. This way he could have his friends and his girlfriend without the constant fear of getting hurt. He could feel wanted and important and loved without being on edge about what they secretly thought of him, or if they secretly wanted to hurt him. That's exactly what he wanted - the illusions fulfilled his desires better than the real counterparts ever could.

I don't really think it's a matter of image, there was nobody there to put on a show for, the show of having friends was before her became a dungeon lord, to me it's more that If you really believe nobody could ever love the real you, fake friends created by the demon is ok

Marcille had a father that truly loved her and friends that she wanted to protect, so it makes sense she was averse to the version made up by the demon at first, from the hints we get Mithrun had nobody he had a real connection with (here exemplified by what he thought of his teamates and the impression Milsiril had of him contrasted with the dungeon)

I don't really understand if other than Sultha the others are real canaries that ended up being driven away just like people were driven away from Thistle, I don't really put it past them to fall for the demon with the promise of a safer life where they don't have to risk their lives only to realize the downwards spiral is inescapable for the dungeon lord.

I don't think it's as important if he "really liked" Sultha or not, I think it's more related to insecurity and fear of rejection, having his brother chosen over him even tho "he's better" (the "perfect youth" image)

Mithrun was thrown away for being a bastard so being faced with the life he could have had probably broke him, I think there's some pride involved too in a twisted way but I read more like something related to "the life I wish I had", envy/jealousy like Milsiril describes. Being able to love and be loved back was never an option especially after joining the canaries

The illusion of this wasn't perfect as we can see, and with the paranoia and everything I doubt he ever really "preferred" the fakes to real life but rather it was all he had?

Idk I'm not good with words hope this made some sense, but even Marcille who said the recreation of her dad was "unnecessary" (quite the underreaction) still kept him around until the others defeated him so I don't really know what it says about Mithrun, maybe if he wasn't imprisoned into the book he could have manipulated Thistle into accepting a fake Delgal too?

[spiicii]

jimmy uso / exhibitionist

x fem!reader  word count → 1.5k summary → jimmy’s got you bent over the couch of his shared hotel room with jey. what happens when jey walks in on the two of you?  tags → daddy kink, dirty talk, hair-pulling, light choking, unprotected sex, crying, some spanking, slight orgasm denial, not beta read, Jimmy is mean (but you love it), does it count as exhibition if it’s just your twin brother?

There would be bruises on your hips, you knew. Finger-shaped bruises from Jimmy’s unforgiving grip as he pounded into you from behind, your muscles aching from the position he’d kept you in for what felt like hours now. 

Your mouth parted and another moan spilled out, your eyes rolling back as his cock dragged across your G-spot. 

“Daddy, please,” you begged, your voice hoarse, as if you’d been screaming. Maybe you had. Ever since he’d bent you over the side of the couch, you’d made all sorts of noises that you would have been embarrassed about had he not been fucking you so good. “Please, I can’t…” 

“Shut up,” he snarled, landing a particularly vicious smack against your ass. “You gon’ take this dick and you gon’ thank me for it.” 

He aimed another thrust at that little bundle of nerves inside of you and you let out another moan, stars exploding across your vision. “Thank you,” you breathed, your knees shaking from exhaustion as he kept you bent over the couch. “Thank you, Daddy.”

Jimmy grunted in response, his pace steady as he pumped into you. “So spoiled, aren’t you, girl?” He growled, his blunt nails digging into your hips. “But I always give you what you want, don’t I?” 

He didn’t seem particularly interested in your answer, but it’s not like you had one to give him anyways. Not when his dick was splitting you open like this, sparks of pleasure shooting up your spine at his filthy words. 

“Fucking cock-drunk, slut,” Jimmy spat, smacking your ass again just to hear more moans spill from your pretty mouth. “You just take whatever I have to give you, huh? Nothin’ but a whore.” 

Your pussy spasmed at his words, constricting Jimmy’s cock as it was buried deep inside you, and he groaned in appreciation. 

“Good girl,” he panted, picking up the pace, his grip on your hips punishing. “Good fucking girl.” 

Pleasure was licking across your body like wildfire, Jimmy’s cock ramming into your G-spot with each powerful thrust of his hips. You were so lost in the feeling that you didn’t hear the creak of the door opening, your eyes glazed over as Jimmy drilled into you over and over again. 

“Hey, man, I- Jesus, what the fuck, uce?” Jey’s voice was like an icy shock to your system, your eyes flying open with panic at getting caught in the act. Jimmy’s thrusts faltered, but only for a second, his tight grip on your hips keeping you still. 

“What? Ain’t nobody sleeping on the couch.” Jimmy’s voice sounded steady, even as he was balls-deep inside you, his thrusts slowing, but not stopping. 

“Come on, man.” Jey scowled. “You got your own bed. Why can’t you use that?” 

You shifted, as if to move, but Jimmy’s grip on you tightened and you realized with horror that he wasn’t stopping, his cock still rock hard inside you. 

“You don’t move unless I say so, slut,” he snarled down at you and your cheeks flushed red at his words, beyond embarrassed at how aroused you still were, even as his twin brother looked on. “You got a safeword. That’s the only thing I wanna hear if you want this to stop.” 

He dragged his cock across your G-spot again, his pace now torturously slow, and another embarrassing moan fell from your lips, your entire body flushed red beneath your audience. You still hadn’t met Jey in the eye and weren’t sure if you could. Not like this. Despite how embarrassed you felt, your safeword was the last thing on your mind. 

“Dude, are you serious right now?” Jey sounded annoyed. “We got a million things to do and this is what you doin’?” 

Jimmy let out a huff of laughter. “Can you blame me? Look at her. Don’t she look pretty like this?” 

Before you realized what was happening, Jimmy had fisted his hand in your hair, yanking your head up from where you’d been hiding. He pulled you back against his chest, your back still arched as he kept you speared on his cock. Your eyes met Jey’s, and you felt your face heat up in embarrassment, Jimmy still holding you tightly as he kept you on display for his twin brother. 

“Come on, uce. Admit it. You’re jealous.” 

Jey’s eye scanned across your naked body in what you thought was appreciation, watching as your tits bounced as Jimmy continued to thrust into you from the back. 

“She is pretty,” Jey admitted, crossing his arms over his chest. “But we got shit to do, uce. So can you wrap this up?” 

“What could possibly be so important you gotta interrupt this?” Jimmy sounded bored, releasing the grip on your hair to wrap his fingers around your neck instead, pressing a kiss behind your ear as he picked up the pace. 

The twins were talking, but you weren’t hearing any of it. All you could feel was the pleasure curling at the base of your spine, the humiliation of being presented like Jimmy’s trophy to his own brother sending you hurtling towards the edge of your orgasm.

You threw your head back against Jimmy’s chest and felt him press a burning kiss against your temple, the touch surprisingly gentle after hours of manhandling you. 

“You gonna cum in front of my brother, little girl?” he growled in your ear, too low for Jey to hear. “You like it when I treat you like a whore in front of him?” 

You whimpered, your head feeling as though it were stuffed with cotton, your body trembling in Jimmy’s hold. 

“Daddy, please, please,” your voice was barely a whisper, your eyelids fluttering as Jimmy pressed another kiss to your face. “I need…I need to…” You couldn’t finish the thought, your words completely gone as he continued to pound into you. He let out a mocking laugh, his fingers tightening around your throat. Your pussy spasmed in response and Jimmy groaned.

“Jesus, she’s strangling my cock, Jey. You see how good she is for me?” 

You heard Jey speaking, but you couldn’t register any of his words, your eyes rolling back in your head as Jimmy continued to hammer into your G-spot with devastating accuracy. 

“You’d better ask for permission, slut,” Jimmy snarled in your ear, his pace unrelenting. “Or else you won’t get to cum again for a week.” 

He kept the one hand on your neck, using the other one to reach around you and pinch your clit, causing you to cry out. 

“What’s that, little girl? Didn’t catch that.” 

You felt tears prick at the corner of your eyes, the pleasure so good you felt like you were levitating. “Please, Daddy. Can I cum? Please?” 

Jimmy laughed cruelly, the soft pads of his fingers now rubbing your clit with the perfect amount of friction. You felt your orgasm rapidly approaching, but he hadn’t given you permission yet. The tears were falling now, your muscles trembling as you struggled to hold off. The last thing you wanted was for him to follow through on his threat. 

“I can’t hold it,” you sobbed. “Please, Daddy. Please, let me cum.” 

“Whatchu think, uce?” Jimmy asked his brother, his voice somehow remaining steady even as you felt his thrusts stutter inside you, indicating that he was close too. “Does she sound pathetic enough?” 

You couldn’t see Jey, not with Jimmy’s fingers wrapped around your neck as he kept you pressed against him, but you heard his next words. “I think she’s deserved it, uce. Ain’t you tortured her enough?” 

God, you could have kissed Jey right then and there in gratitude, but it still wasn’t enough. You knew you couldn’t cum yet, not until Jimmy allowed it. 

“Please, please,” you begged again, your core tightening. You weren’t sure how much longer you could last. “Daddy, please. Let me cum.” 

Jimmy pressed another kiss to your temple. “Cum, slut.” 

Your vision went white as pleasure ravaged your body, muscles jerking as your mouth parted into a silent scream. Your pussy spasmed and convulsed, milking Jimmy’s cock as he continued to slam into you, punching the air from your lungs.

Jimmy wasn’t far behind, his grip tightening around your throat. “What a good whore,” he snarled, his thrusts becoming harder and more erratic. “Gonna fill you up, pretty girl.” 

With one final thrust he did, painting your walls white with his seed as he came inside you. You whimpered at the feeling, already feeling some of it leak out and begin to drip down your thigh. You made a pitiful sound as he released your throat, your head falling back against Jimmy’s chest. You tried to remember to breathe, to think…but things were too hazy, too drunk on cock to feel anything else. Your insides felt gooey, muscles shaking as Jimmy wrapped his arms around you to keep you from collapsing. 

When he pulled out you felt your mind short-circuit as his softening cock dragged across your G-spot one last time, overstimulation wracking your body. “Shhh,” Jimmy soothed, pressing sweet kisses to your forehead. “Just relax, baby. I got you.” 

Before you realized what was happening, he was hooking his arm beneath your knees and lifting you up, carrying you bridal style into one of the nearby bedrooms. You leaned against Jimmy's strong chest, your eyes already beginning to close from exhaustion. As Jimmy laid you down on the bed, pressing chaste kisses against your exposed skin, you distantly heard Jey ask "Damn, uce. You gonna charge me for that show?"

Jimmy's laughter was the last thing you heard before finally drifting off to sleep.

[butchesarebabes]

ABBY ANDERSON!SOFT

For the last two or three days you had been staying up, so long infact that you crashed on the couch as soon as you say down to watch a film with your girlfriend Abby.

It suprised her a bit but she just wrapped a warm musclular arm around you and pet your hair while cuddled up in a warm flannel patterned blanket, glancing at you every so often from habit when you enjoy something with her, only to be reminded you're alseep and kissing your forehead lovingly.

waking up was a disorientating, peeling your eyes open to the darkness of your living room from the curtains being drawn, drool around your mouth and a small patch on the arm you rested your face on and bumpy indents on your forearms from the texture of the sofa.

You let out a grumble before lazily looking around like a cat, landing on the window of the kitchen in view, it's bright, snowing ofcourse, then your eyes spot an Abby, not any Abby, your Abby :).

She's bopping her head to music playing through her phone while she... bakes? You smell something like batter, but she's using a pan.

You place your head on the arm of the sofa, making sure to keep being nestled in the warm blanket since it's bloody freezing "goodmorning Abs" a yawn "what you making?".

She jumps slightly, clearly in her own zone "oh, uh" she rubs the back of her neck sheepishly, not facing you but having her neck craned around to see you "pancakes, remember that kit I got? The red white n' blue 'murica one?" She salutes jokingly and you giggle, god she loves when you laugh...

You nod and salute back, remembering you got it only because of how cheap it was, 79p, you let out a hum of acknowledgment "the really sugary one?" You tease, cause jesus that thing probably had enough sugar that it'd last you like four days from the guidelines of sugar intake in the body, not that you ever really took that into consideration in any of your eating habits.

Abby just rolls her eyes, but can't stop her grin "maybe" tilting her head to the side while drawing out the word "butttt, you're gonna like em', they have this-" she picks up the very American slush puppy themed pancake mix box and reads it "-this blue syrup powder, you don't have to if you don't want to babe" she puts it back down and turns to the pan, flipping a pancake.

You notice a plate on the side already has a few pilled up, sprinkled with sugar "fine" you pout "but if I like die and have to go to A and E, you're legally obligated to blame yourself n shit" sticking your tounge out.

She mouths the words 'drama queen' with a small smirk to herself and nods to you, head banging to the music again, you sigh exhageratedly and turn to the small TV Infront of the couch, scrolling through the options before settling on bottoms.

A few minutes later she rings that damn novelty desk bell you got her last Christmas as a joke, always using it to mockingly get your attention "pikelets" she murmurs to you, you look at the tray she has them on, a cute little cat illustration on it, she sits next to you, putting the plate on your lap.

She stabs the fork into it "there was alot of icing-" she coughs "uh syrup" you laugh, the 'syrup' being an unnatural blue, with a packet of sprinkles on the tray, you kiss her cheek, glancing at her atire.

A black hoodie, some flannel pajama trousers, a pair of very fluffy pink socks with little hearts on them, a grey beanie because it's freezing still cold inside the house and what you assume with the collar peaking from her hoodie, her favourite shirt, the one her dad always wore before he died.... Uh a bit sentimental.

"cute" you say grabbing the little pack and tearing it open with your teeth after a small struggle, she just watches with a raised eyebrow in amusement, using every sprinkle on those obviously already too sweet disks o' batter.

Tasting them you wince as she awaits your reaction, you stare at her wide eyed before swallowing with a squirm "okay that- way too much of that blue shit" you snort and grimace at the plate, she replies with a guilty look "I can uh scrape it off?" A shrug on her strong shoulders, you nod.

-----------

you spend the afternoon eating the pancakes, adding the icing sparingly and watching Bottoms, you wink at her each Jeff scene, teasing her, an inside joke.

"yeah alright, Baby" patting your cheek lovingly.

[edgeray]

Ik the cringey Gen Z in me is literally trying to claw through the bars of my mind because why the fuck do I want to write a video game streamer! Arlecchino. These are very incoherent and nonsensical thoughts bc I am tired.

Bro, in the most deadpan voice after getting destroyed by some kid: "Well. That's not very skibidi of you 😐"

Her fanbase only has two sides: thirsty for her, or is desperately clinging onto every paternal advice and praise that Arlecchino didn't even know she had said

"Chat, why do you keep calling me a dilf. What is that."

Has children. She does not know of it, even when CatMagacianBoi sends her a donation message saying "I think I failed my math test :(" and she starts on a whole rant about how failures is okay, and it's one step closer to success and that your setbacks will never define you. Has paused stream to teach someone how to tie their tie.

Wears fucking cat ear headphones. Until someone gifts her a custom made headphones with rabbit ears

Is actually really good at games when she tries. Is also terrible at sandbox games. (I can go on a whole rant of how I think Arlecchino will be like in Minecraft).

Another streamer colleague (Tartaglia) suggested she streams herself reading fanfictions of herself. (Never again. Ever seen a grown woman get traumatized over stream?) "What does the tag 'x Reader' mean?"

Does lots of charity streams, especially for orphanages.

Guys I'm actually in need of some crack ideas, I'm going insane.

(Maybe Arlecchino x streamer! Reader 🥺 fic? Mayhaps a slow burn where they basically unknowingly stream their e-dates?)

[silhouetteonpaper]

In Celebration

Summary: You and Natasha have been questioning the boundaries between co-workers, friends, and maybe even something more. After a perfect day spent with her, she has a suprise second date that leaves you guessing. Unfortunately for you, it’s more than just a suprise. Natasha Romanoff x Reader WC: 1,409 Warnings/Themes: Fluff, reader has anxiety

“Thanks for adventuring out with me,” Natasha expressed as the two of you entered the compound. “I had a lot of fun.” She smirked, the same smile that had painted her face while you two were out exploring the city now creeping back up. You nodded once, more than happy to have accepted her invitation for a day out.

Was it a date? You weren’t quite sure, but you were eager to spend any time at all with the Widow. Ever since you joined the team a few months ago, your relationship had been left without labels. Sure you were both friendly, but she was also flirty. And you had no clue how to react, especially when Natasha had been on the team longer. You didn’t want to screw the opportunity up.

“Of course, thanks for the invite,” You rocked back and forth on your toes. “We should do it again sometime.” Natasha’s grin revealed itself, a single nod now being repeated back to you. As she turned on her feet to head back to her room, there was a pause as Natasha stopped in her tracks and faced you once more.

“Oh, and—“ Your eyes met, hers full of that desire you so desperately craved all for yourself. “Get changed into something nice. Meet me downstairs in thirty.” And just like that, she was gone. What the hell? Was that an invite to a second date? Two in one day had to be a new record for you. But before you had time to process her words, you were already following her orders and dressing in something more fitting.

A cocktail dress and heels, perfect for any dinner date, bar crawl, club dance, or night on the town. It was hard to contain the fluttering in your chest while you slipped into the new outfit, the possibilities of what the night could contain letting your mind run wild. What were Natasha’s intentions? You tried to prevent your imagination from getting the best of you, as you didn’t want to get your hopes up.

The thirty minutes dragged on too long for your liking, but eventually you were ready and waiting with bated breath. You’d fully fixed your hair and makeup on top of your new attire, prepared to dazzle the redhead for whatever the night would entail. And dazzle was right; the second Natasha met you in the hallway downstairs, she was speechless. That was rare for her, she always had something cunning to say. But her eyes were too busy looking you up and down to even think of something as trivial as words.

“Hey, what’d you have planned?” You asked cautiously, stepping over to meet her. She smirked again, but this time something more mischievous laid beneath her green eyes. She only grabbed your hand, intertwining her fingers with yours as she pulled you down the hall.

The sudden sound of chatter grew, mixed with the soft tune of music playing overhead. You furrowed your brow, unsure what could be lying out in the gallery. As you rounded the corner, your eyes went wide.

A banner reading Welcome to the Team! was strung across the floor to ceiling windows. Hundreds of people who worked for S.H.I.E.L.D in some way or another littered the open floor. Front and center was the team, watching your reaction with excitement; all with a drink in hand. Your eyes darted across the room, suddenly realizing that this wasn’t an intimate night with Natasha—the team was throwing you an official welcome party.

Unbeknownst to Natasha, you hated big gatherings—especially when they surrounded you. You never had a graduation party, hadn’t celebrated your birthday in ages, and even went out of your way to avoid crowded holiday events. But that was all before you worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. None of them had any idea you were this anxious around crowds.

You turned to face Natasha with a weary look. Her expression dropped the second she realized you weren’t surprised, and rather unsure about the party. “Natasha…” You trailed off, shaking your head. As much as you enjoyed small parties and little get togethers, organized events that made you the center of attention were your worst nightmare. But no one could’ve known that, so you felt guilty. They set this all up for you, and here you were wanting to crawl back into your bedroom and hide.

She quickly turned to the team waiting eagerly for you to come over. Holding up a finger to convey ‘one moment’, Natasha grabbed your wrist softly and guided you out into the hallway. The echoing chatter of the crowd died down as the air found your lungs again. You pressed yourself up against the cold marble wall with closed eyes, wincing as it all hit you.

“Hey,” Natasha’s voice grew closer; suddenly you felt her hand on your waist. “You don’t like crowds, do you?” It was less of a question and more of an informed guess, which the redhead likely already knew the answer to. It didn’t take a world-class agent to see how anxious the sudden surprise made you—which led you to feel even more self-conscious, because that was exactly what had happened.

You nodded, refusing to open your eyes in hopes the muffled sound of the crowd would disappear. She sighed, using her other hand to rub up and down your arm in comforting motions. You knew she wasn’t frustrated with you, but it didn’t matter; you were frustrated with yourself. “I’m sorry.” You spoke, finally opening your eyes to face the Widow with a concerned expression.

“Why are you sorry? I’m sorry, for springing this on you. I should’ve at least warned you.” She countered, almost defensively. Natasha wasn’t going to let you blame yourself for this. She understood the fear, especially when the room next door was full of America’s strongest soldiers.

You tilted your head to the side, eyes finding the floor as you processed. “I’d hate to ruin something you guys all planned for me. I really appreciate the gesture, I do… I just—“

“I know,” Natasha interrupted, her hand moving to caress your cheek. “You didn’t ruin anything, I promise. In fact… I have an idea.” She bit her lip, pausing for a moment before scurrying off into the gallery. You were left alone in the hall, a confused expression painted on your face while you sat in silence.

You could hear the chatter inside die down for a moment, some shuffling footsteps soon picking up and the music growing softer. Within minutes, Natasha’s heels clacked against the marble out into the hallway. She was smirking, her arm outstretched for yours to take.

“What…?” You questioned, hesitantly reaching out. She was silent, only guiding you back into the gallery. The second you walked in, it was hard to sustain your chuckle. It was quieter, this time the team was all facing away from you and conversing with one another. No one was looking at you waiting for a reaction. The banner was modified, now reading Welcome Team!, the former words in between obviously ripped out with haste.

You faced Natasha, finally letting yourself laugh as you hugged her. “Thank you, this is perfect.” The attention wasn’t on you, and you could still be a part of the fun. She made it work, just like she always does. Though for the first time, you saw her problem solve out of compassion—not just for work. The idea of her doing this just for you made you melt.

“Of course, we’re all proud of you. And, we all care about you. You’re part of the team now.” She held the embrace for a moment before pulling back to lock eyes with you. It took you both a few seconds before realizing you were just staring into each other’s gaze, craving the company you’d found in one another. But the party was waiting, and so were your friends.

You both walked up to the group, everyone deep in conversation by the time you arrived. “Oh, Y/N, I didn’t even know you were here.” Thor stated, earning an elbow in the side from Natasha as the group laughed. You joined in, grinning as you realized just how much everyone cared. They were all here to support you as a new team member and as a friend. As for Natasha, maybe even something more. And you couldn’t wait to find out where that would lead.

[darnell-la]

This is probably my first time reading logan x reader smut and discovering you guys for my first has been so much fun!

If I could possibly ask for a request when you guys are free and have time of course!Maybe Dark dom Logan x chubby reader?Reader tries getting logan to date and cheat on her with pretty women cause she's that insecure and so willing to do anything to keep him around cause logan is like the first hottest and kind guy she's ever dated?Of course loagn probably won't be too happy so he reminds her possibly?idk this is silly

note: we did our best to make this a dark Logan story, but not too dark so others can enjoy… we hope you guys enjoy it!

———

“U think he’s actually going to go for it, Jean,” y/n spoke into her phone as tears filled her eyes. She knew Logan didn’t see much in her. She swore he only got with her because she was hard to get.

“Y/n, what did you do? What happening?” Jean asked, but y/n was too busy trying to control her breathing. “Y/n- Hey!?” Jean asked, getting concerned.

“I-I hired someone to flirt with him. I told her to do her best, even touch him, and he’s letting it slide. He’s even pulling her in,” Y/n said as her hands began to shake.

Apart from her regretted this, but it was for the better to know now.

“Y/n — Why would you do that? We talked about this,” Jean said, but y/n didn’t want to hear it. “Why not!? If I don’t know, I’d think he actually liked me, Jean. This needed to happen!”

“I don’t know — I can’t see him doing all of this to you. He loves you,” Jean questioned her powers. She always looked into his mind for y/n, and never did it seem like he would do anything to hurt her.

“I-I can’t do this right. I’ll call you later,” Y/n said before she hung up. She wanted to go over to Logan, maybe even confront him, but how he looked at her, made her sick. He looked at the woman the way he looked at her.

It’s been an hour, and y/n is far gone. She hasn’t answered any of Jean's calls. She told herself that if Logan called, she’d answer, but Logan never did. He always calls her if they haven’t seen each other for a while. She could only imagine the worst.

“Of course, he never liked me,” Y/n told herself as she stumbled out of the bar she had crawled to. She had no idea how she would get back to the mansion, and a part of her didn’t want to go back.

On the other hand, Logan lingered behind her, watching her every move as he grew angry. He knew y/n was obsessed with the idea of him cheating, but not like this.

Logan had seen the messages between y/n and the woman who was set as bait. It angered him, but he didn’t say anything right then. He told y/n if she ever went too deep into her obsession, he’d have to do something about it to make her understand.

He knew letting y/n think he didn’t want her for this long would be a problem, but he also knew she’d get like this. Venerable and emotional.

The man continued to stalk behind y/n, smirking at the fact she went the way he predicted. Right towards his car, so it’ll be a shorter trip.

“H-Hello?” Y/n said as she stopped and turned around towards Logan who she didn’t know what him. He was dressed in all black, and his hoodie covered his face.

“Sir?” Y/n slurred as she slowly walked backward, feeling uneven about this man walking behind her hunched over, and saying nothing back to assure her that she was safe.

“A bit too dark to be out here with your boyfriend, ain’t it?” Logan asked, but y/n couldn’t make out his voice. The liquor had highjacked her brain.

“I-I’m on my way to him r-right now, sir,” y/n lied, which made Logan chuckle. “Oh, ain’t that so?” He asked as he got closer to y/n. As soon as y/n went to turn around and run, she was caught.

“Hey- No! Let me go!” Y/n shouted, and before she could say any more words, he covered her mouth in a rag he had drenched to make her fall out quick and easily.

“You see what happens when you play stupid games?” It was all y/n heard after she struggled to open her eyes for a solid minute. “Huh-“ Y/n cut herself off, noticing something was off, but she couldn’t put her finger on it yet.

“You really think I’d be worried about someone else’s attention, Bub? C’mon, that shits old — My eyes were on you the whole time, rather you saw it or not,”

“Huh- I- What’s going on? Logan?” Y/n asked as her vision came together, but not too much. She was still unbelievably drunk. She knows she can’t handle liquor, but tonight, she didn’t care.

“Drinking was strike one. Drinking without me, was strike two. Walking out of the bar alone and drunk out of your fucking mind, was strike two,” Y/n went to sit up but noticed something holding her back.

“Actually, you know what pissed me off all around? Those messages between you and some sad excuse of a pretty woman you sent after me,”

Y/n’s heart dropped when she came to a realization. Logan knew about her setup, and now she’s restricted. Her hands are tighter behind her back, and both of her feet are chained to both sides of the bed she was on.

“I love you, y/n, but this was unacceptable,” Logan said as he got up from the chair he had been sitting on for a while, waiting for her to wake up. He thought for that whole time, hoping he’d calm down by the time she woke up, but he seemed to get angrier by the second.

“L-Logan, I- I’m so sorry, I just really-“ y/n tried to say, but Logan wasn’t having it. “You just really wanted to what? Make me cheat? Set me up with some fucking whore or the night!? You think I’d stoop down that fucking low, y/n!?”

Y/n felt herself sink into the bed, embarrassed and a bit scared of his reaction. Will he leave her for this? Did she fuck up their relationship?

“I’m sorry-“ y/n tried to say. “Oh, you’re about to be, y/n,” Logan said as he stepped into the brighter side of the light, showing himself completely naked, that was when y/n looked down at herself and sat herself naked.

“L-Logan — What are we doing here? Where are we?” She asked, making him laugh with a smirk she’d never seen before. “Motel — Don’t worry, I got a clean one, with thick walls. Even if they heard you, they wouldn’t dare come in here and help you,”

Y/n was confused about what he meant by helping her. Why would they help her?

“Logan, you’re scaring me,” y/n said, but she wasn’t scared. She just wanted to know more about what he planned for the night. He had already knocked her out. She never expected anything like that from him.

“I’d like to believe that, y/n, but I know for a fact, you’re into this,” y/n took a breath as she watched Logan walk to the side of the bed.

“You always ask me if I love you — If I’d ever trade you out, and I always wanted to keep things sweet, but tonight’s not the night for that,” y/n watched Logan grab a bottle off of the dresser next to the bed.

“I am obsessed — I’m so fucking obsessed with you, y/n, I can barely breathe when you’re not around,” the man said as he squeezed whatever was in the bottle, on his hand.

“I try my best to keep it cool and stay calm, but tonight-” Logan took a long deep breath, contemplating if he should continue. “Tonight, I’m gonna ruin you — I’m gonna break you so hard, you won’t be able to put yourself back together to think about pulling that bullshit ok me again,”

Logan spoke as he rubbed himself in lube, usually, they don’t use lube because he goes slow for her, but tonight, he hadn’t thought about that for a second.

“Logan, I think we should relax-“ Before she could finish, he was on top of her, and in between her legs. “Logan- Wait! Wait, Logan, please let me explain!” Y/n cried out, and because he loved her so much, he stopped right at her entrance.

“I-I’m so sorry, Logan. So so sorry. I-I was just scared. I-I love you so much,” Logan stayed silent for a few more seconds before wrapping a hand around her neck, choking her just right. “And you’re about to see how much I love you,”

Right then, Logan slammed into y/n, stretching her the furthest she’d ever gotten in seconds. “Lo!” Y/n basically screamed as he repeated his thrust, pounding into her cunt as the noises of her filled the room.

“No condom — All raw — I’m gonna fucking breed you tonight,”

[carto0ncritter]

PLEASE DO NOT HARASS THIS PERSON.

I'm genuinely tired of HB/HH/Vivziepop stans putting words into my mouth.

"You literally hate everything about the show"

Fyi, I didn't hate the premise. I also don't hate: 1) The animation; 2) The voice acting; 3) The potential the show had, and hopefully still has, since it will apparently have at least four seasons.

But ever since HB went from being about the misadventures of assassins in Hell, into a romance drama between two characters who are clearly toxic for each other, that's when I started hating the plot. The third point you made is true, I do hate the plot, and I will continue to do so, unless all this focus on an abusive gay ship (Stolitz) shifts back to what got me and a lot of other people into the show in the first place. And no, I'm not going to stop being vocal about it just because someone else told me to. You're on the internet buddy, learn to accept the fact that not everyone will have the same opinions as you.

And that's really NOT something to get worked up about.

"Just stop watching it if you are this upset about all of this"

Maybe you should stop going into the critical tag if you know that what you're gonna find there will upset you. Just a thought.

And if you've come across my post by searching "blitzo" "moxxie" "millie" or "loona," all you had to do was read the very first sentence I wrote (having to do about my issues with the latest episode) and click off my post because clearly criticism of your beloved show triggers you. And no, I won't stop tagging the characters like this even if I have something negative to say about them. This perfectly explains as to why:

"You hate the main character"

Which one? If you mean Blitzø, then no. I don't hate him. I literally said it in the tags.

But if you mean Stolas, then yeah, I hate him. So what?

"You hate most of the characters in general"

If by most characters you mean Stolas, then yes, I do.

But uh... I don't hate any other character aside from maybe Loona? She's written so inconsistently. There's no real development when it comes to Loona. She acts like a huge bitch and a spoiled brat despite receiving love from her dad for five years straight. She is a grown ass woman who kicked Blitzø in the balls after telling Octavia that Stolas is "trying his best" when he clearly wasn't. She physically abused Blitzø just because he called her out RIGHTFULLY, remind me why she didn't beat the shit out of him again in the latest episode after Blitzø wanted her to overwork herself AND didn't pay her for a month?

Oh and there's also the time Loona cheered for Blitzø, tucked him in and called him dad. Why is she abusive towards him in the very next episode?

That's the inconsistency I'm talking about.

As for the other main characters:

I genuinely relate to Octavia. And I feel sorry for her. Enough said.

I don't care about Millie. It's too little too late for that.

I'm not sure how to feel about Moxxie. Where is his character arc even going? What is his character arc? Learning to stand up for himself for the millionth fucking time?

Stella is a wasted character whose only purpose is making Stolas seem "innocent." I hate what the writers did to her.

Also yes, I dislike Viv for reasons that are 100% valid and available to the public, so I'm not making stuff up.

[wandascrush]

The Child

pairing: Agatha Harkness x Rio Vidal

Warnings: Agatha and Rio, mentions of birth, some sadness, overall fluff

A/N: My own theory/version of what transpired between Rio, Agatha, and Nicky!

Agatha Harkness had only ever cried five times in her long, long life. Two so far, but there were three more coming she was unaware of. Once, when she was being burned alive by her coven. The second time, when her love- Rio, left. A work thing, apparently. When you’re a witch who’s job is to collect souls, things can get a little complicated. And the third time Agatha cried was the most unexpected- out of joy. In the dimly lit, old bathroom within her secluded home, the air was thick with both anticipation and ancient magic. Candles flickered, casting shadows that seemed to breathe with her every laboring gasp. Agatha’s face glistened with sweat as she gripped the edge of the tub, her breath coming in ragged, controlled inhales and exhales, her body wracked by waves of pain.

The night prior she had cast spells for protection, spells for strength, and spells to quiet the outside world, shielding this sacred moment from prying eyes. Even the baby, not yet born, seemed to stir in response to the magic enveloping them both, the air humming with energy that was both fierce and tender.

As another contraction hit, Agatha clenched her fist, and a burst of violet energy flared from her fingertips, casting sparks that danced across the room like wild fireflies. She inhaled sharply, focusing her energy to draw the pain away, channeling it through her fingertips to dissipate into the air. Despite her exhaustion, she could feel her magic reaching out, surrounding her child with warmth and protection, soothing both their spirits.

“If I can handle centuries of dark magic, I can handle a little—oh, alright, maybe a lot—of pain…”

Finally, with one last surge of will, Agatha braced herself, hands glowing with ethereal light as she pushed with every ounce of her strength. Moments later, the air seemed to still, and the room fell into a hushed silence, even the witch’s breathing was silent- broken only by the sharp, weak cry of her newborn child.

Panting, Agatha looked down, eyes wide with awe and wonder. Warm tears spilled from her eyes and onto her cheeks, saltiness mixing with her lips. Tiny, perfect fingers grasped her hand, the hands that have caused so much chaos- and a spark of magic passed between them, an unmistakable bond forged in that instant. Mother and child-no, more specifically- mother and son. A soft, silvery glow radiated from the infant’s skin, flickering in response to Agatha’s own energy—a sign of the powers she had passed down.

Cradling the baby close, Agatha whispered a blessing, a promise woven in the old language of witches. The deep brown eyes that were always so hardened and sharp softened in an instant, looking at this perfect, brand new little life- someone to love and love her back fully.

“My son.”

Two years later

Nicky nuzzled his soft brown hair into his mothers lap, looking up at her with those big round eyes she loved, “shtowy ty?” He had meant to ask “story time?,” but couldn’t fully pronounce the words yet in his tender age. Agatha stroked his head softly, picking up the small book next to her, The history of witches, warlocks, and wizards. Truthfully, it wasn’t a very good book, but it was a friendly introduction into witchcraft for her son. As the sound of crackling wood burned in the fireplace, filling their small living room with warm, the little sorcerer dozed off on Agatha’s lap, wrapped inside her cardigan for warmth. It was nights like these when the witch could feel her heart nearly beating out of her chest with love for her child. She patted his back rhythmically, still reading the book and holding the little bundle curled up inside her cardigan.

But then, as if on cue, the calm shifted—a whisper in the air, a soft footfall just outside the room. Agatha’s eyes flicked up, already sensing who had entered.

“Still sneaking around, Rio?” Her voice was a murmur, barely louder than the crackling fire, but it held an unmistakable edge. She kept her tone soft, unwilling to disturb her son’s sleep. She gently lied him on the couch, draping a blanket over his sleeping form- maybe hiding him. Maybe not.

Rio Vidal, dressed in her usual effortless black, lingered in the doorway, her silhouette framed by the warm glow. She looked almost hesitant—an unusual look for her. Her dark eyes moved from Agatha to the cozy home she was in. Strange.

“I wasn’t… sneaking.” Rio’s voice was softer than usual, her usual dry edge replaced by something more uncertain. She cleared her throat. “I just—wanted to see you. Is that so wrong?” Her gaze settled on Agatha’s eyes, deep and unmoving.

Agatha stepped forward, encasing Rio into the doorframe, “Not everything is for you, y’know. You can’t just wander in here like we’re still…an item,” she replied, a hint of sharpness slipping into her voice. “Especially not anymore.”

Rio shifted, crossing her arms over her chest, her mouth twisting slightly, like she was trying to find the right words but refusing to lose her usual cool. “Funny how you haven’t blasted me out yet, Harkness” she murmured, the faintest hint of a smirk ghosting over her lips, though her eyes held a different story.

Agatha sat back down on the couch, voice barely a whisper, and took the blanket off of Nicky, revealing his sleeping form, “Maybe because things are different now.” She looked up at Rio, her expression softening just enough to reveal the faintest glimmer of vulnerability. If anyone else had been watching Rio, they wouldn’t have noticed a change in her expression. Agatha, however, watched her entire demeanor change, taking a step forward- and then back, “What’s that?” However, In her heart, she knew exactly who it was.

“Rio, meet my son- Nicholas.”