#THIS FEELS SO STUPID

[childofwonder]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYLE omg im literally crying

[keepthefrank]

i just received a dress i ordered from parade that’s a ‘sleep dress’ but that i’ve been thinking of ways to style for going out — anyway i finally put it on and i feel like a busted can of biscuits in it :/ didn’t even want to look in the mirror and had to take it off instead of walking out of my room to look in a mirror with better lighting

i’m trying to be realistic, though: it’s not even tight, just a bodycon sort of cut. there’s nothing wrong with my body, even though i’ve been feeling bloated and larger than normal/what i’m generally comfortable with. there’s nothing wrong w having a tummy. there’s literally organs in there. i can still style the dress in cool ways. also i KNOW i’ve been overly sensitive mood-wise the last couple days, so i don’t need to accept my immediate reaction.

ugh. it’s just difficult.

[3416]

i sent a friend's birthday package on the right day so it'd arrive on her bday and then.. just got a notif that there was smth insufficient about the label so it's coming back to me....

[anxietyfrappuccino]

i just burst into tears because my dad touched my hand while pretending to take my oreos away, i hate myself

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[burnt-potato07]

i want to talk to someone who wont judge me for my problems

just someone to respond

please

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

momlita

[peigslayers]

every single time israel fires on people picking up food or humanitarian aid it truly cuts me to the core. obviously it's equally horrible to fire on civilians escaping the invasion or to bomb hospitals or refugee camps or people just living in their own homes. but there's something so brutal about hitting people right when they have gathered for life-saving aid. by firing on them there the IOF have set up an impossible dilemma where starving people have to choose between death by bullet or death by hunger. they have left no room for palestinians to choose life. i do not know how my government or any other government can just sit by and watch while innocent people continue to be gunned down for the crime of existing in israel's eyeline.

[onenotsubtle]

there's no world where i can share what makes me okay with him being gone with him. it wouldn't be something making me okay with him being gone because it'd just be something. it wouldn't be about him. i wouldn't have that connection to it. id have him still. it might sound stupid if you don't understand grief this way, but i want him to know im okay and that things and people are helping me. but he can't know any of this because he's gone in the first place. it hurts so much

[xpupslxtx]

i cannot stop thinking about roughhousing. i want tickling and laughing that turns into wrestling that gets a little more serious and heated, until one of us is pinned down, both breathing hard and making out and thighs pressed in between each others legs and hickeys and bite marks all over and trying so hard not to be the one that cums first and failing, ending up getting fucked hard by the winner until you’re so drunk on all your orgasms you couldn’t fight back if you tried

[heartorbit]

MWAH!

[tempo-takoyaki]

Listen, I love the "XL helps HC to see how beautiful he is" scenario as much as the next person... But I also see it like this.

[notbecauseofvictories]

I don't know how strictly accurate this is, but one of the things I find shocking about watching historical dramas is how many people there are around all the time---according to Madame de... (1953) a well-off French household in the Belle Epoque maintains a workforce of at least 3, and the glittering opera has staff just to open doors. According to Shogun (2024) you can expect a deep bench just to mind your household, and again, people who exist to open doors.

Could people....not open doors in the past? Were doors tricky, before the standardization of hinges? Because otherwise, the wealthy used to pay a whole bunch of people to do it for them in multiple contexts, and I find myself baffled.

[fanaticalthings]

important family group chat discussions

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[randomloserlover]

cobs destroys mephone's objectsonas

[madootles]

"The Lonely's really got you, hasn't it?"