#also i just ate dinner so even though there’s probably not a visible indication of that i FEEL like there is

[keepthefrank]

i just received a dress i ordered from parade that’s a ‘sleep dress’ but that i’ve been thinking of ways to style for going out — anyway i finally put it on and i feel like a busted can of biscuits in it :/ didn’t even want to look in the mirror and had to take it off instead of walking out of my room to look in a mirror with better lighting

i’m trying to be realistic, though: it’s not even tight, just a bodycon sort of cut. there’s nothing wrong with my body, even though i’ve been feeling bloated and larger than normal/what i’m generally comfortable with. there’s nothing wrong w having a tummy. there’s literally organs in there. i can still style the dress in cool ways. also i KNOW i’ve been overly sensitive mood-wise the last couple days, so i don’t need to accept my immediate reaction.

ugh. it’s just difficult.

[deviantofthemind]

Sanders Sides Ficmas 2020

↪ 𝔉𝔦𝔠𝔪𝔞𝔰 𝔐𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔭𝔬𝔰𝔱 🎁 Dec 9: Snowflake - Logicality Rating: E He was eternally grateful for Patton's foresight and preparation because when the time came, he just had to say one word. OR Logan announces a code snowflake and Patton delivers on it.

Logan's jaw was aching. Not because he had gotten into a fight with Roman, or anyone, for that matter but because he had been gnashing his teeth all day.

Sitting with everyone else on the dinner table was grating on his nerves, he had things to do and the ache from his jaw was slowly creeping upwards into his temples. It had been a few shitty weeks, with lots of unnecessary and aggravating drama.

He was so tense he could barely eat and he was sure that Patton had a very disapproving eye on him. After dinner, he and Patton were left to deal with the dishes.

“You okay, Lo? Need anything?”

It was an innocuous enough question and would have not been worth a second thought if he hadn’t come from Patton. As it stood Logan was not exactly okay and he almost always <i>needed</i> Patton, in the, you know, metaphysical sense one tends to need the person one loves. 

“I guess not?” Is what he says, instead of the very concrete thing ghosting around his mind, that would probably be incredibly useful and good right now.

“You sure?” Patton asked softly but neutrally, wiping down the table while Logan dried the dishes. He reconsidered. And Patton seemed wholly unperturbed by his silence, going about putting the cutlery away.

It would be a new thing. An intriguing thing. A thing that they had prepared for and Logan was very thankful for Patton's sensible foresight since it had taken them quite a while. He did want, right now, to get a bit out of his head, to relax, to enjoy his evening like any other person. It would cost him just one word and Patton would <i>make him</i> enjoy his evening like, maybe not, every other person.

Logan exhaled deeply, putting the last stack of dishes away. “Snowflake.”

He turned slowly to face his partner, now Dom, he guessed and Patton’s smile was patrically lighting up the dim kitchen. He stepped close, right into Logan's personal space to kiss him gently, both hands on his jaw, open-mouthed and gliding tongues. That was from zero to hundred real quick and it left Logan's head spinning a little but Patton was not letting go even after their lips parted. 

“Perfect.” Patton breathed, “Get upstairs, my room, undress. I’m with you in a second.”

Logan felt a little breathless, shaking his head to clear it, then nodding it to indicate that he had understood but Patton still was not letting go of his face.

“I can’t hear you, Lo.” Patton said sweetly, smiling a little when confronted with the visible confusion on Logan's face before understanding was taking over.

“Yes, Patton.” he simply said, getting rewarded by another peck and being released.

He was fast about his task, sprinting upstairs getting out of his clothes, shivering a little when newly naked. It wasn’t cold in Patton's room, it never was, and the newly installed fairy lights gave everything an even softer, warmer glow. So probably just nerves on his part. He wondered if it was okay to sit on the bed? 

“Hey love, here I am.” Patton interrupted his thoughts, putting a small basket down by the desk before coming over, “Perfect, very good. Please lie down, face down.”

Logan did, listening intently to Patton rustling around for a few more minutes before the bed dipped next to him and he turned his face to the side. He already felt weirdly calm and anticipatory at the same time. This was working better then he had hoped, and nothing had actually happened yet.

Pattons hand stroked down his back and ass with even pressure, almost massaging but not quite. “Okay. Something simple for today, yeah. As a first and also because you should actually take advantage after and sleep as much as you can. Remember your safewords?”

Logan nodded again, knowing his safewords and knowing what something simple meant, before remembering and almost tripping over his words to correct. “Y-es, Patton.” he turned his face back into the comforter and concentrated on breathing evenly. He knew Patton was smiling, maybe even laughing a little, even though he was out of sight, and that pleased him on a level he frustratingly struggled to explain.

The first few hits on his ass and thighs were startling and louder than he had imagined. Also he could see it potentially be humiliating, in some different setting. But it was not hurting in the way he had been prepared for, or maybe hoped for.

But then Patton checked in, placed a warm splayed hand between his shoulder blades and established a downright hypnotic rhythm. And it did fucking hurt after a few minutes. Logan could hear his own ragged breathing, his fingers were gripping the pillow like a lifeline, and there was sweat beading down his neck, his whole back a slippery plain. 

Patton checked in again and Logan was flabbergasted when he almost choked out his <i>green</i> with an accompanying sob. “Fuck, fuck- I..?”

“You’re okay, Logan, love. You can just relax, c’mon. You’re doing great. How’s your head?” Patton murmured softly, brushing a hand through Logan's sweaty hair but not waiting for the answer.

Logan's revelation that his head was indeed fantastic, that he wasn’t thinking, that his mouth was open slightly, relaxed and his tongue not pressed to the roof of his mouth was drowned out by Patton resuming his steady obliteration.

They stopped eventually. But Logan had a whole lot of difficulties sorting out his sense of time or anything really. So he let it be. The sweat, starting to rapidly cool him down, was very gently wiped away, whispering praise that Logan didn’t need to examine too closely a soothing background noise while he was floating a bit. Cool balm on his hot skin. He would feel this tomorrow, and wasn’t that wonderful?

Maybe directly after, maybe after some time he was cradled into his boyfriend's arms, leaning against his chest. A cute kiss. Patton always did cute kisses. Sometimes filthy, but always kinda cute. Logan giggled.

“Hey there you...feeling good Lo?”

“Yes, Patton.” Logan croaked a bit, but he couldn’t care less.

Patton pressed a bottle of cool water into his kinda numb fingers and made him drink a considerable amount.

“Need something else, love?” Patton asked again. But Logan didn’t. This was pretty neat, he felt a little more aware now but still bone tired and in the perfect state to fall asleep.

“No, perfect.”

“Indeed, that was perfect.” Pattons tone, tinged with pride and softness, made Logan blush a tiny bit while he curled tighter into the embrace as Patton lowered them both down to sleep.

[ephyla]

Boss Lady

Hey guys, I hope you had an amazing Christmas!

This story was inspired by a post I saw a couple of months ago on a subreddit called MaliciousCompliance. I immediately thought that this is something that Hiccup and Astrid would totally do and just hoped I would be inspired to write it at some point. Well, today is that day, so enjoy!!

Summary: 

MODERN AU

Her boss’s insistence on changing her dress code leaves her in a fit of rage. Good thing that she has an amazing boyfriend to help her maliciously comply to his stupid requirements.

***

‘I’m sorry, what?’

‘I’m just saying that it would be more appropriate if you dressed more like a professional.’

Astrid was internally fuming, but she tried to keep her cool in his office.

‘And what do you mean by ‘professional’ exactly?’ The young woman asked, her teeth grinding.

‘You know, dresses, heels, skirts.’ Her boss replied nonchalantly.

‘With all due respect, why am I the only one you approached with this request?’ If murder was legal, she would have skinned him alive a long time ago.

‘Because they’re not my assistant.’

***

Hiccup was preparing dinner when he heard the door slam brutally. He turned the heat off and placed the pan on a cool surface. His girlfriend, in a fit of rage, was struggling to untie her shoelaces as he walked into the living room.

‘Bad day at work?’ Astrid just grumbled. ‘Who was it this time, Thuggory? Lars?’

‘My obnoxious boss.’

‘Ah.. Should’ve guessed it. Why did he call you in his office this time? Your shoulders were distracting him? Did you show your ankles again?’ Her boyfriend dramatically gasped.

Astrid worked in a small company where the employees were not required to dress professionally since they’re not facing any customers. There’s still the A/C turned on full blast, so it wasn’t like Astrid was showing a lot of skin to begin with, not that it mattered. But her dirty old boss thought it would be appropriate to point out her attire on an almost daily basis. She quickly got tired of it and decided to have part of her closet dedicated to unflattering clothes so she could avoid being grossly objectified by her superior. Today, however, he crossed a line.

‘That pig decided that I should be wearing ‘corporate clothing since I’m his assistant’ while the others are free to wear jeans and t-shirts.’ Astrid fumed as she violently threw her bag on the sofa and stomped toward the bathroom to take shower. Not having the time to reply, Hiccup simply walked back to the kitchen to finish the cooking.

When Astrid came back, she seemed to have cooled off a bit. They sat at the table as they ate their dinner.

‘You know my dad would hire you if I asked him. You’re smart, focused and hardworking. He would love to have you as an employee. And he loves you. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even his son seeing how much he dotes on you.’ Hiccup laughs. A small smile formed on his girlfriend’s face. ‘You know he loves you to death. I’m not the one that’s getting my ribs crushed every time he hugs me because he missed me. Besides, I don’t think it’s fair for me to suddenly be hired on the spot by your father just because I’m dating you. Some more qualified people might need it more than me. I already have a decent paying job, it’s just that I hate the people I’m working with.’

‘I know, I know. But it’s also not fair for you to endure all this just for your boss’s sick pleasure. You’re not paid to be his eye-candy. You’re paid to be his assistant, and right now he clearly is trying to force you to make his disgusting fantasies a reality. Just please, think about it, alright?’ Astrid looked away, but Hiccup scooted his chair closer and caressed her cheek, making her face him again. Her frown still visible. ‘I’ve noticed you know.’ He stated.

‘Noticed what?’

‘You’ve been stressed a lot since you got this job. You barely eat or get a decent night of sleep anymore’ Hiccup traced the dark bags under her eyes. ‘You always seem irritated by something’ He brought a hand to her hand on his sleeve, trying to relax her death grip. She released him and he grabbed her hand, holding it to his chest. ‘You barely have the time for your friends and family. If we didn’t live together, I probably wouldn’t have seen much of you either. I worry about you. I miss you’ Astrid looked away again.

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t realize th-‘

‘It’s not your fault babe. What I’m trying to say is, maybe it’s time for you to be a bit selfish. You’ve worked so hard to get where you’re at, and your accomplishments are not being acknowledged because your boss is only thinking with his dick. You deserve so much better than this. Please accept my help. Not only will the job my dad offer you will be more high paying, but also less stressful. Well, as stress less it can get with Snot and the twins.’ The pair laughed. ‘But most importantly, you’ll also be working with me.’

‘Now that last part seems very tempting.’ Astrid smiles. Working with Stoick and Hiccup definitely sounds much better than being stuck with her current job.

‘Well I sure hope so! I would take serious offence if you told me you’d rather work with that sleezy old man over me!’ Her boyfriend replies while laughing. ‘But in all seriousness, I’ll talk to my dad, I know he’ll be more than thrilled to help you. If by some thorsaken reason he refuses, then I’ll help. I mean you’ve been by my side for the longest time. You stood by me when I lost my leg and had to learn how to walk again.’ He stomps his prosthetic on the floor to prove his point. ‘It’s really the least I can do.’ Astrid sighed.

‘Alright, just this time, I’ll let you help me. Because I really can’t stand working in the hellhole anymore.’ Hiccup beams and raises the hand he’s holding to his lip, kissing her palm. ‘Great! I’ll call dad now and will let you know as soon as I’m sure you got the job. Then you can finally send your two weeks notice letter.’

‘Already written since the end of my first week on the job. For now, I just have to worry about this dumb new dress code made specifically for me.’ Astrid rolled her eyes.

‘I think I might have an idea. Let’s go to the mall this weekend.’ Astrid saw Hiccup struggling to hide a mischievous grin as he got up and walked to the bedroom to pick up his charging phone.

***

‘Hiccup, you’re missing a leg, not your sight, this is very obviously not my size.’

‘Exactly, it’s perfect, I’ll lend you one of my belts so you can keep these up.’ The piece of clothing in question were a pair brown dress pants in the size M from the men’s section. ‘Now let’s check if they have a matching blazer. I’ll also lend you my dress shirts since they’re not the main focus.’ Hiccup picked out a matching blazer in the same size and held it out to Astrid. ‘Actually, let’s find you a dress shirt so we can see how the whole outfit looks like when you go try it.’ Astrid followed Hiccup as he walked towards the shirts and picked one out.

‘Go try this first, I’ll go find a few other outfits you can try.’ He shoos Astrid to the changing rooms.

‘First outfit?’

‘I mean if you want to wear only one outfit every single day until you leave that place, that’s your choice. But it would be wiser if you had a few spares’ He replied sarcastically. Astrid scoffed and left to change.

Hiccup took his time finding a few other oversized outfits for his girlfriend. Once he was satisfied with his choice, he walked towards the changing rooms.

‘Astrid?’ He called out.

‘In here’ She replied from the very end of the corridor. ‘Honestly, I hate the outfit, but this is a great idea.’ Astrid pulled the curtains aside and dramatically posed. His bewildered expression made her laugh.

‘Well, what do you think?’ Hiccup quickly recovered from the initial shock. ‘In all honesty, terrible, but at the same time you seem to be able to pull it off.’ Astrid twirled around.

‘I think if I styled it a bit and asked Heather to sew a few things, because we all know I can’t sew to save my life, it could become a nice outfit. At least we’re not wasting money. She said as she rolled up her sleeves.

‘That’s a pretty good idea.’ Hiccup grins. ‘Is it weird that I want you to bend me over a table and call you ‘Sir’ or ‘Daddy’?’

‘Eh, maybe. I’m used to you being weird though.’ Astrid laughs. ‘But please don’t call me that, it creeps me out.’

‘Roger that. Here, I got you some other outfits. I don’t think you need dress shoes, that might be too much. You can use your pair of loafers.’ Her boyfriend handed her the clothes and went to take a seat while she tried the rest of the clothing.

***

Astrid closed the door behind her. More gently than last time indicating her much better mood. Hiccup’s head popped out of their bedroom’s doorway. He smiled when he saw her good mood and walked towards her and kissed her.

‘I assume things went well?’

‘You should’ve seen the look on his dumb face! I spent the entire day trying not to laugh!’ She rejoiced as she circled her arm around his neck. They swayed for a couple of seconds before ungraciously landing on the sofa. ‘He couldn’t really say anything, because technically, I did what he asked for. I dressed professionally. I just decided to ignore his suggestions about wearing a dress or heels. I mean, who does he think he is, my stylist?’ Her boyfriend laughed and hugged her.

‘I wish I was there to see it all. But I’m happy it worked out for you.’

‘It’s all thanks to you. Things would have gotten way worse if you didn’t have this idea. I most likely would have shoved my heel down his throat or something, probably getting myself fired in the process. Then again that’s not such a bad outcome.’ Astrid rambled.

‘What can I say, I am pretty amazi- Ow!’ He cried as Astrid lightly punched him in the shoulder. He sulked as he held on said shoulder. ‘Whyy?’

‘I could see your ego poking its head out of your oversized mop of hair of yours.’

‘Harhar, if it’s not the leg jokes then it’s got to be the hair jokes. I should’ve seen that one coming.’ He mumbled that last part. Astrid smiled and kissed him.

‘But you’re right, you really are amazing. You’re the best.’

***

I’m normally not a big fan of Modern AUs, so I kind of struggled writing this one. Either way, hope you liked it!

Happy New Year!!

[dokidokivisual]

Gochiusa BLOOM episode 7 impressions

Previously: 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1

In real world Halloween might have been a month ago, but in the world of Is The Order a Rabbit it’s exactly the season for all things spooky. And maybe things become a little too supernatural for a slice of life show. In the last episode we’ve seen how BLOOM symbolizes the growth of the characters. And as we enter the second half of the season, another meaning is revealed...

But first let’s visit Ama Usa An, where horror-loving Chiya is decorating the traditional Japanese teahouse for Halloween. Since Halloween is decidedly not a traditional Japanese holiday, it looks kinda surreal, but Chiya’s grandmother is more worried about souls of the dead coming back to life, especially that of Chino’s grandfather (see season 2 episode 9 for more of their backstory). Of course the soul of Chino’s grandfather isn’t actually dead, but is inhabiting the body of a rabbit. It’s not clear how exactly this happened and Cocoa might have been involved.

Speaking of Cocoa, we see her practicing with the magic set she bought in the first episode of the season. She tries to make something appear in her hand, but nothing happens. Clearly you can’t just learn to summon matter into existence in Gochiusa world, or can you? Anyway the shot focuses on a candy laying on a table before the opening sequence cuts in. This must be the object Cocoa has tried to summon and it’s also clearly a foreshadowing for something.

Meanwhile, Maya and Megu are trick-or-treating in matching werewolf(?) outfits hoping to score some free candy. Interestingly the tradition of giving out candy on Halloween has descended from a medieval practice of sharing so-called “soul cakes” which represented the souls of the dead.

Meanwhile the staff of Rabbit House are dressed as vampires. The theme of vampires fighting werewolves brings up to mind the Twilight series although I’m sure the idea came up many times throughout history. If you look closer, you’ll notice that Cocoa, Rize and Megu have fake fangs (I think Maya’s is natural), although they’re not consistently drawn between scenes, even though in the manga they’re drawn correctly. Maybe they’ll fix this in BD. The only one whose fang is not shown is Chino, and ironically she is the one who actually bites somebody.

Also the flashback of Chino “roaring” at the mirror reminded me of the scene from Celestial Method where Noel (also voiced by Minase Inori) roars at a dinosaur standee. To be fair it sounds completely different but I just can’t help but compare them.

Also while I was browsing through my copy of volume 6 I found a cute illustration card that seems to be relevant to this episode, but includes Mocha and Cocoa as the wolves and Chino as the vampire (here’s a highres version).

I think I bought this particular volume in Japan on the day it was released. Good times...

Next MaMe go to Fleur de Lapin and are greeted by Sharo dressed as Little Red Riding Hood (bunny version). This costume appeared earlier in an illustration for the rabbit chapter from the previous episode.

This is also a rare scene where other employees of Fleur de Lapin can be seen, as usually Sharo is shown working there alone. Even in the manga, Sharo is the only employee shown in this scene. In the end it turns out that Sharo is a wolf in disguise and craving for some meat. Which is weird because Sharo hasn’t been shown eating or cooking any meat before.

Anyway, next stop is Ama Usa An, which is called the Witch’s Mansion now. Chiya mentions the beginning of the Sabbath, and the manga chapter’s title 今宵は甘兎サバト also mentions the Sabbath. This might be confusing because in Judaism and Christianity the Sabbath is the day of rest and happens weekly (on Saturday or Sunday). However since we’re talking about witches, this actually references the Wiccan concept of sabbat, or one of eight festivals in the Wiccan calendar. In particular, Samhain, one of the four Greater Sabbats pretty much coincides with Halloween and celebrates the beginning of winter.

Chiya does this thing where the protagonist’s hand hurts only to awaken their dark powers, I’m not really sure where this trope comes from but I’ve seen it referenced in anime before and it’s a common chuunibyo stereotype. In this case, Chiya did really just hurt her hand. There’s also some sort of runic circle drawn on her bandages, but if you look closer it says shiratama anmitsu matcha parfait in hiragana.

Maya and Megu agree to help Chiya, and become her “familiars”. Even though familiars are better known as a video game mechanic today (which is what the “level up” scene references), witches were associated with familiar spirits since medieval times. A familiar often took form of a small animal, such as a cat. Unfortunately MaMe don’t even know which animal they are, so clearly they didn’t take their backstory as seriously as Chiya did. Their ears and tails look canine to me, so I can see Megu being a fox spirit, but Maya being a cat is less believable. Also during their confrontation Megu confirms that Maya’s fang is her yaeba (snaggle tooth).

As a revenge for the trick MaMe pulled on her, Chiya gives them a selection of pumpkin tarts, one of which is laced with wasabi (which she calls ”Russian roulette”). This seems like a common thing for her, since she did the same with botamochi in season 2 episode 6, and with green tea in season 2 episode 7 (except she used aojiru instead of wasabi). However this time, it was Chiya’s grandmother who put wasabi in two of the tarts, unbeknownst to Chiya. By the way in the manga it wasn’t shown that Chiya got one of the wasabi tarts.

Chiya goes shopping for some pumpkins, but is helped by Rize, and later Sharo gives her anti-pain medications, reminding her of how Chiya tended for her when she was sick in season 1 episode 12. It’s not mentioned in the anime, but Rize also had a “motivation” for helping Chiya, as she hurt her leg before (see season 2 episode 2). Chiya invites Rize and Sharo to dinner and brings up the wasabi-laced pumpkin tarts. According to Chiya the probability of getting wasabi is 1/3. Initially there were 7 tarts, of which 2 had wasabi. Megu, Maya and Chiya eat one each, with Chiya’s having wasabi in it. That leaves 4 tarts with 1 wasabi, so either Chiya’s calculation is incorrect, or somebody ate one more tart.

Apparently last day was just a warm up to Halloween (All Hallow’s Eve’s Eve?), so next day Megu and Maya come to Chiya again and try to summon something. A larger and slightly different version of the runic circle previously seen on Chiya’s hand starts glowing and we see that the 3 white rabbits correspond to three people holding hands. There’s also Anko corresponding to the black rabbit in the middle. By the way, in the manga the sign on Chiya’s hand was just a hexagram, and the summoning ritual didn’t have any visible symbols.

Anyway, they want to summon a messenger from demon world/hell, and coincidentally Cocoa and Chino come in (dressed as vampires) and try to attack (cuddle) them. Chiya, Maya and Megu form New Chimame-tai which works because Chiya and Chino have the same first syllable. However Chi is written with kanji instead of katakana in this version (because Chiya’s name 千夜  is one of the few given names among Gochiusa characters that’s always written with kanji). This defeats Chino, and Chiya consoling Chino like a big sister defeats Cocoa as well.

Ok let’s move on to part B, which is the really important part of the episode. The streets of the town are filled with people dressed in various costumes. Cocoa’s classmates can be seen among the crowd, and Aoyama and Rin are enjoying a boat ride on River Sanzu.

Our main character have also prepared some new costumes for the occasion. First we see Chino, dressing up as Phantom Thief Lapin, while Rize is going as a police officer. Soon Chiya and Sharo join them, who somehow independently of each other also went with a Lapin costume. At least Sharo had a good excuse. For Chiya, Lapin’s gloves obscure the bandage on her hand, so maybe that’s why she chose this costume. But what about Cocoa?

Well, she kinda got lost and we find her at the location that you will recognize if you read my episode 5 review. Cocoa says it looks a little different than usual, almost like a different world (isekai). Well, there’s a lot of evidence to support this hypothesis. First, in a scene that parallels episode 1, Cocoa finds a lost child and tries to calm her down with a magic trick. However you might notice that the child’s head is literally a pumpkin with a moving mouth.

And her mother is also a pumpkinhead. Cocoa doesn’t encounter any other people during this segment, even though you’d think a spot that overlooks the town like this would be quite popular. Well, she does encounter one more person, a mysterious masked magician with an angora rabbit on her head. She also wears a G-clef pendant indicating some sort of music connection.

Now, since y’all had already watched the episode, it wouldn’t be a spoiler to say that this is the ghost of Chino’s mother, Saki. The rabbit on her head is the ghost of the original Tippy before its body was taken over by Chino’s grandfather. The original Tippy was a female rabbit, by the way, a fact established early on in the series. In Sing for You OVA (for which I wrote a not-very-detailed review by the way) it’s established that Saki was a singer and even had a record released.

Anyway, as a ghost, Saki doesn’t speak (although she still can giggle and such) and doesn’t physically interact with Cocoa (only indirectly, by casting candies at Cocoa). Nevertheless she does teach Cocoa how to do the candy trick correctly.

Meanwhile, the rest of the group tries to call Cocoa’s phone but she doesn’t answer. This is another evidence for isekai theory. Cocoa is just out of range, you see. Rize and Sharo swap their costumes (the most unrealistic part of the episode) and Sharo starts “policing” the Lapins on how the real Lapin would talk. Chiya has a bright idea to shout out for Cocoa and call her big sister. However Cocoa would obviously only react if Chino calls her that, so Rize encourages Chino to say it louder (referencing her training for the choir in Sing for You).

Cocoa and Saki hear Chino, and Saki looks at her daughter from the terrace. Chino also looks up... but doesn’t see anything. She does get a hunch that there’s something up there though, so the group finds Cocoa eventually. Meanwhile Saki feels like her time is up and makes for a quick exit, literally disappearing.

This is where Cocoa returns to the “real world”, as the current Tippy calls out for her. Why was Tippy with Cocoa anyway in the first place? Cocoa looks around and there are in fact lots of people there as expected.

Cocoa thinks that Tippy speaking is an evidence of a ghost, despite her interacting with a real ghost just a few moments before. The 3 Lapins arrive and start arguing who is the real Lapin. Chino says that it’s the one who gets away with everything in the end, implying she will take the whole Cocoa for herself. However Sharo arrests Cocoa for making everyone worry.

On the way back, Chiya recalls the legend which was also mentioned by her grandmother at the beginning of the episode about the spirits of the ancestors coming back for this one day and then returning to heavens. Chino looks up to the sky, while Tippy gives her a solace in the fact that he was once again turned away, implying that he expected to return to heaven with the other spirits.

Tippy also seemed to know what Cocoa was talking about in an earlier scene where Cocoa said she forgot to give thanks to somebody. Just what’s up with Tippy and why is he not allowed to enter Heaven is a big mystery here.

Cocoa also notices Chino being distressed and shows her the magic trick with the candy. It turns out Chino remembers this trick from her childhood, and we get to see a full flashback with Chino’s mother even getting a few speaking lines (delivered by none other but Nana Mizuki). Since the candy was probably a part of the magic set, it’s no coincidence that it has the exact same wrapper in the flashback. The color of the candy matches with Chino’s clothes at the time but you can also think of it as a combination of Saki’s white and Chino’s blue.

By the way, in the manga Cocoa conjures up two candies, and they have a plain wrapping so there wasn’t One Specific Candy like in the anime. Also in the flashback, Chino is carried by her grandfather. His face is not shown, but Takahiro is seen in the background (with Rize’s dad) so by exclusion it had to be him. And in the current scene Chino is the one carrying Tippy like this.

The episode ends with Cocoa asking Chino to tell her more about her mother, while a star is seen rising in the sky, presumably symbolizing Saki’s spirit.

Let’s go back to Cocoa meeting Saki scene one more time. Like I explained, it’s heavily implied that Cocoa isn’t really in the same world as the other characters when she meets Saki’s ghost. Of course Gochiusa had supernatural elements from the start, such as a certain talking rabbit who happens to be Chino’s grandfather. But now we have a ghost of Chino’s mother and Cocoa is the only one who can see her, but Chino can’t? Just what the heck is going on here?

But wait, there is a rational explanation for all of this! Cocoa had a hallucination triggered by all the Halloween celebrations. She imagines helping a lost child just like Chino did before (and told Cocoa about it later) and then imagines the ghost of Saki teaching her magic, because subconsciously she wants to be like Saki. She had seen Saki before on a photograph, but haven’t heard her speak, which is why the ghost can’t talk to her. Hearing Chino call her onee-chan brings Cocoa back to her senses. But how did Cocoa learn the trick if it was just her imagination? Well, consider the fact that she was practicing this exact trick at the beginning of the episode. By the time she shows it to Chino, she has already practiced it a lot of times, but maybe she only realized the crucial part (feint) during the hallucination. Either way, the blue striped candy wasn’t given to Cocoa by Saki, she had it from the start, as part of the magic set! The candies that Saki uses to show the trick to Cocoa all disappear when Cocoa returns to reality.

Saki appears one more time in the bar time scene with Takahiro, who is listening to her record Silver Spoon from Sing for You OVA and then calls her by name. I think this is the only time the name “Saki” is mentioned in the show itself, and it’s not mentioned in the manga at all (unless maybe in some recent chapters which I haven’t read yet). The first time it was revealed was during April Fool’s day Clockwork Rabbit event, as a solution to a “puzzle”. Her name is written in katakana as サキ, however one of possible readings of the word “saki” is 咲き which means “bloom”. Now consider how the last few seconds of the opening animation it cuts from a blooming field of dandelions to Saki:

The dandelions connection to Saki was previously seen in season 2 episode 1 and Sing for You. Saki’s character design doesn’t really say “blooming of dandelions” to me, but consider that a dandelion turns into this:

Now that’s more like it! Although it reminds me of Tippy as well. Anyway, that was a very mysterious episode of Gochiusa BLOOM and let’s see what happens next! Only 5 episodes remain...

[artificialqueens]

Duality, Chapter 5 (Crygi/Jankie) - Metaluna

Chapter summary: Crystal forms an unexpected friendship as Gigi explores her humanity further.

A/N: Look at me actually managing to update on AQ! Anyway, a big thank you as always to the queen @junosjukebox for beta reading this and being my biggest supporter. Enjoy!!

“I cannot believe you agreed to this,” Gigi groaned as she applied mascara using the bathroom mirror.

Crystal sat on the toilet while she waited for her nail polish to dry. “Babe… I have a confession to make.”

Gigi turned her head to look at her girlfriend. “What did you do?”

Blowing on her nails she began, “So… When I was waiting for you while you were in the dead body room, Jackie was talking  about her wife and how great she was, which is cute. But then, she told me she knew nothing about me… I don’t know. I know you’re not one for small talk, but I thought maybe… Anyway, when Jackie offered for us to go over to her apartment for dinner… I may have said yes because I was…”

“Jealous?”

Crystal nodded. “I’m sorry.”

There were times that Gigi didn’t understand her girlfriend’s thought process. This was one of those times. Gigi couldn’t understand why Crystal would be upset because she didn’t talk about her to her coworker, especially a coworker she didn’t like very much. 

But, Gigi felt bad for upsetting Crystal, especially after their fight. Crystal made it very clear the night of their fight, if Gigi did anything that severe again, she would leave without hesitation. While Crystal was one to forgive, she wasn’t one to forget. In return, Gigi promised to respect her boundaries, and to open up more.

“I’m sorry, my love. I didn’t know that it was something that meant a lot to you.”

“It’s notreally. I just feel like you’d be more likely to show Jackie a picture of your cat than of me.”

“To be fair, Akasha is the most beautiful cat I’ve ever had,” Gigi laughed, making eye contact with Crystal in the mirror.

“I can’t stand you.” 

Crystal hugged Gigi from behind, and in return Gigi turned her head for a kiss. 

“I love you,” Crystal said as she took a mirror selfie. “Remember that time I asked if you’d show up in pictures?”

Gigi nodded. “I also remember when you asked if I slept in a coffin.”

“It was a valid question!”

“Was it, though?” 

“How early are we?” Gigi asked.

Crystal glanced at her phone. “Ten minutes.”

“Is it strange that I’m nervous?”

“You? Nervous? You’re never nervous about anything.”

Gigi wrapped the chain of her necklace around her finger. “I know. You’re the only human I’m around for an extended period of time. Human interaction isn’t something that I’m used to. Truthfully, it’s a little scary.”

Crystal held her girlfriend’s hand. “I never thought of that. How are you feeling about it all?”

“It’s just that a lot has changed in a small time frame. A year means nothing to me. I went from thinking of humans as food and food alone, to falling in love with one, and now I’m spending my spare time with them. This isn’t normal.”

“And running a funeral home and dating a human is? You have grown so much as a person, babe, it’s incredible. Like I said on our anniversary, you have come so far, and I’m so proud of you. You may have done some terrible things in your past, but we all have. I mean, yeah, we haven’t all done the same things, but that’s not the point. The point is that we grow as people. The humanity you think you gained from dating me is something that’s always been there. You just didn’t want to see it,” Crystal said as she kissed Gigi’s hand wrapped in her own. 

“Even so, you have brought aspects of myself that I thought were gone forever. I never thought I’d get to fall in love.”

The only other person Gigi had any sort of romantic involvement with on a regular basis was Nicky. “Love” is not what Gigi would use to describe their relationship. It was tumultuous and exciting. The highs were euphoric, and the lows were brutal. But with Crystal, it was different. There was a gentleness that she had never felt. It was the energy that Gigi desperately tried to pretend to have with her fiancé. With Crystal, she didn’t have to pretend. 

“I love you. So, so much. And I’m completely regretting agreeing to this.”

“Can we form an escape plan?” Gigi asked. 

Crystal couldn’t tell if her girlfriend was joking or not, but her facial expression indicated that she was serious. 

“No. No, we can’t.” Crystal looked at her phone again. “Should we be fashionably late?”

“Of course. The less time with them the better.”

This caused Crystal to lightly smack Gigi’s arm. “This could be great. You don’t know. Jackie seems nice.”

“She’s okay, I guess.”

“Okay is better than bad.” 

“I suppose so…”

“Besides, if this does suck like you think it’s going to, we never have to do it again,” Crystal said confidently.

“Good.”

“Can you knock?”

“Huh?”

“I’m nervous,“ Gigi barely said above a whisper. 

Crystal started laughing.

“Darling, why are you laughing at my pain?”

“Goddamn, you’re dramatic sometimes. I just think it’s funny since you’re usually so self-assured. Seeing you squirm a little bit is cute,” Crystal said as she knocked on the door. 

Almost instantly, the door was answered by a blonde woman who Gigi recognized to be Jan. Jan looked like she belonged in a magazine. Between her lacy apron and dazzling smile, it was as though Jan was the modern-day version of what Gigi was set to become. 

“Oh my God, hi! It’s  so nice to finally meet you, Gigi!” Jan said facing Gigi. “I’m Jan. And you must be Crystal. You are so gorgeous.”

Crystal felt her cheeks turn pink. “No, stop, you’re so beautiful.”

Standing awkwardly in the doorway, Gigi smiled uncomfortably, not moving.

“Oh, how rude of me! Come on in!” 

The inside of Jackie and Jan’s apartment was exactly what Gigi imagined. It looked like the rooms from IKEA were picked up and placed in their apartment. Everything looked impeccable. It was well-decorated, probably thanks to Jan. 

“You have a beautiful home,” Crystal said.

“Thank you!” Jackie, who was sitting on the couch said. “Nice to see you again, Crystal.”

“Nice to see you, too!”

“You guys hang out here, dinner should be ready soon!” Jan said brightly before returning to the kitchen. 

“So Crystal,” Jackie began as Gigi and Crystal made themselves comfortable. “Are you working on anything cool for the museum?”

Gigi loved to watch Crystal’s face light up when she talked about work. “Yes! We’re actually featuring a new artist. Her exhibit is all on werewolves.”

“Werewolves? That’s interesting.”

“Just in time for Halloween!” Jan called from the kitchen.

As Crystal told Jackie the details of the exhibit, Gigi looked around the apartment. She didn’t  notice upon being invited in, but there were crucifixes everywhere. 

Once there was a lull in the conversation, Gigi said, “Interesting decorations.” 

“What? The crosses?” Gigi nodded. “Oh, yeah Jan’s Catholic.”

Crystal laughed nervously. “I went to Catholic school. But I’m not practicing.”

“I hope Jan doesn’t want us to raise the kids Catholic,” Jackie whispered.

“I didn’t know you wanted kids,” Gigi mused.

Jackie nodded. “We definitely want kids. Don’t we, honey?”

“Being a mom is all I’ve ever wanted,” Jan called from the kitchen. “What about you guys?” 

“I…” Crystal trailed off. 

“Honey, they aren’t even married yet. It’s a little early to start thinking about kids.”

“It’s a little early to think about marriage too,” Gigi muttered to herself as she looked at Crystal, who was staring at her phone. 

Just as an extremely awkward silence was about to ensue, Jan called, “Dinner’s ready!” 

The amount of food on the table was enough to feed a small army. Jackie once said that Jan always made too much food, and Gigi now understood. While Gigi was sure that the food was incredible to humans, it would taste foul to vampires. 

There were four plates that were loaded with food. Gigi began to formulate a plan on how to make it look like she’d eaten much more than she had. She and Crystal exchanged a glance. 

“I’m so sorry, baby,” Crystal mouthed.

Gigi shook her head as she sat.

“So,” Jan began. “How did you both meet?”

“We met at a bar,” Crystal said. 

Jackie raised an eyebrow. “Gigi, you go to bars?” 

“Every now and again.”

Crystal broke a lull by asking, “How about you? How did you meet?”

Jan put her hand over Jackie’s. “We met at our summer job my first year out of high school.”

The story that Jan delved into was adorable, Gigi was sure. However, her attention was focused on making it look like she was eating more than a few bites. While Gigi was eating the smallest bite possible, she felt her fangs descend. 

Garlic wasn’t even something that crossed her mind. It was something that hadn’t come up in the past, since it’s not like she was used to consuming food. It was something that Nicky had mentioned to Gigi so long ago she’d nearly forgotten. 

Trying her best to hide her fangs, Gigi asked, “I’m sorry, where is your bathroom?”

“First door on the right in the hallway,” Jackie replied.

Crystal locked eyes with Gigi, whose face was dripping with panic. 

Once inside the bathroom, Gigi locked the door and turned the lights on to see that her fangs were fully visible. No matter how hard she tried, Gigi couldn’t make them go back into their resting position. Out of pure desperation, she tried to push them back with her fingers, but succeeded in doing nothing but making her fingers bleed. 

There was a gentle knock on the door.

“It’s me,” Crystal said.

Gigi opened the door and wordlessly showed Crystal her appearance. 

“Oh, shit. Why…?”

“Garlic.”

“Can you make them go back?”

Gigi shook her head. “I’ve tried.”

Crystal moved her hair to the side and offered her neck. “It’s worth a shot.”

“Twice in a week? I don’t like this,” Gigi groaned.

“Do you have any better ideas?”

“No.”

“Take more than normal. I just ate so much food, I should be fine,” Crystal said as she locked the door. 

With a sigh, Gigi sank her claws into Crystal’s neck, who let out the quietest of moans. 

“Well?” Gigi asked as she rubbed her blood on Crystal’s neck.

Crystal shook her head. “They still look the same… I have an idea, though.”

“What?”

“We’ll say that you had an allergic reaction, we don’t have to say what exactly. After that, we get the fuck out of here,” Crystal said removing her scarf. “Cover your mouth with this.”

“You’re a genius, darling.”

“I know.”

“Is everything okay?” Jackie asked once they returned from the bathroom. 

“Allergic reaction,” Crystal answered. 

“Oh my God, Gigi I am so sorry!” Jan squeaked. 

“It’s fine, don’t blame yourself.”

“If you don’t need to come in tomorrow, don’t. I’ll be fine,” Jackie said.

“Thank you.” 

Gigi sat on the couch with a hand mirror as she examined her fangs. 

“Is there like some vampire guidebook somewhere that tells you what to do?” Crystal asked.

“No.”

“If you snapped them off, would they grow back? I have a hammer in the closet, I think.”

Gigi looked mortified. “No. No, they absolutely would not.”

“Do you think it’s permanent?”

“I don’t know if it’s wishful thinking, but I don’t.”

Crystal yawned. “Sorry.”

“Love, go to bed.”

“No. You’re clearly upset, and I want to be there for you.”

“No offense, darling, but I’m going to be upset regardless if you’re awake. I’m sure my fangs are going to be the same way when you wake up in the morning.”

Gigi was right. Crystal woke up to see her girlfriend on the couch with a hand mirror, her fingers covered in blood.

“Holy shit, babe. Your fingers are fucked.”

Gigi sucked the blood off of her fingers. “No, my fingers are fine. Do my fangs look any different?”

“No.”

“I suppose I should text Jackie and tell her I won’t be coming in.”

Crystal began to brew a cup of coffee. “Good idea. I don’t think mourning families wanna see… those. I mean, I like them, but…”

Hello, Jackie. I am still dealing with the allergic reaction from last night… Please don’t let Jan blame herself, it was not her fault, but I’m not coming in today. 

Jackie, as always, texted back instantly.

About that…

About what, exactly?

Well… Someone was brought in and they’re in ROUGH shape. Really bad

Bad enough that you can’t handle it yourself? Is it another animal attack?

No. Just a LOT of decomposition…  I promise if you come in, I’ll do all the visitations for a month!

Gigi groaned as she stared at her phone.

Fine.

You’re the best!

I know.

“What’s wrong?” 

“I have to go to work.” Gigi picked up the hand mirror and looked at her fangs once more. “Why can’t it be a social norm for everyone to wear masks in public?”

“That sounds horrible.”

“Well, it certainly would be helpful now. What are your plans for the day?”

“We’re installing parts of the exhibit today. Later, me and Jaida are getting lunch since we haven’t really had a chance to just talk since… that night.” Crystal quickly changed the subject. “Do you want my scarf to cover your face?”

“Yes, please.”

After setting her coffee mug on the table, Crystal went into their bedroom and grabbed several scarves, all with different colors, material, and patterns.

“Take your pick,” Crystal said as she held the scarves in front of her girlfriend.

“Do you really have to ask?”

Crystal wordlessly tossed the solid black scarf. 

“Have a good day at work, babe… Well, as good as it can be,” Crystal said as she kissed Gigi’s cheek.

“You, too.”

Before Gigi walked into the funeral home, she made sure to cover her face with the scarf Crystal gave her. Thankfully, Chicago in October was cold enough that wearing a scarf wasn’t out of the ordinary. However, wearing a scarf over the entire bottom half of the face looked a little odd, but Gigi was certain there were much weirder sights on the streets of Chicago. 

Jackie was waiting for Gigi in the lobby. 

“I am so sorry,” Jackie said. “I should have asked about allergies…”

“It’s okay. It’s not like I’ll be around the living today. I don’t think a corpse will care about my allergic reaction.”

Jackie laughed nervously. “True…”

Gigi looked at Jackie and noticed a small silver cross hanging from her neck. Jackie mentioned many times that she didn’t like wearing jewelry at work, not even her wedding ring. 

“Interesting necklace.” Gigi tried to sound nonchalant. 

“What? Oh. I’ve had it for a while, but haven’t worn it until now. Jan gave it to me a while ago. I guess talking about the crosses at the apartment made me think about it.”

Gigi raised an eyebrow. “What happened to no jewelry at work?”

Jackie shrugged. “I guess I felt like a change.”

“Right… Well, I’ll probably be a while. I’m going to leave right after if I finish, if that’s okay.”

“That’s fine. Thank you for coming in.”

While Gigi walked to the prep room, she put her hair into a messy bun, the same thought racing through her mind. There’s no way Jackie could know what she was, was there? 

Despite  being excited to spend time with Jaida, Crystal felt bad, since all she could think about was Gigi. Still, she was determined to do her best to keep her girlfriend out of her mind for at least a little while. 

“Thanks for lunch, Jaida.”

“Don’t mention it. Although, I am slightly judging you. Who goes to one of the best delis in Chicago and gets a cheese sandwich?” 

“It’s really good…”

Jaida laughed. “I’m just teasing. You’re not wrong.”

After eating in a comfortable silence, Jaida spoke up. “So, how did you and your girl meet?”

“We met at the club. Sometimes we joke about making up a better story.”

“No shame. Was it like in all the movies where you locked eyes across the club?”

Crystal laughed. “No, I went up to her at the bar.”

“At the bar?”

Crystal nodded.

“Part of me hoped that you saw her doing WAP on the dancefloor.”

“I love her, but one time I walked in on her doing the dance, and it is something I wish I could forget.”

Jaida laughed. “I guess we can’t all be my roommate, Vanessa. Where’s Gigi from? I know I only met her a second, but she didn’t seem like a Chicago girl at all.”

Crystal hesitated. She hadn’t asked Gigi what her fake backstory was. “The suburbs.”

“Oh, nice. I don’t know, there’s just something about her that seems interesting.”

Crystal smiled. “She is probably the most interesting person I know.”

“What’s she do?” Jaida asked as she took a sip of her Coke.

“She works at a funeral home, she’s the owner actually. Basically she’s the person they go to when the bodies are in extra bad shape.”

“Wow,” Jaida said. “I don’t think I could ever be surrounded by dead people all day.”

“Honestly, same. Sometimes she tells stories about work, and I need to ask her to stop, and by sometimes, I mean most times. Like, the other day, she told me about a body she saw that was killed in an animal attack, that had claw marks bigger than any animal she’d ever seen, which is saying a lot. Apparently their insides were on the outside.”

Jaida shifted in her chair. “Do they have any idea what did it?”

“Nope. Maybe it was a werewolf,” Crystal laughed.

“What else do we have to do to finish the exhibit?”

Crystal found the sudden change of subject odd. “We only have a few more installations. We’re extremely ahead of schedule. We’re three weeks from opening, and we’re almost done. We can relax.”

“You say that now.”

“Yeah, I’m sure in like a week I’m going to have a meltdown about how we aren’t getting everything done.”

Jaida laughed. “I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

“Did you have anything in mind for opening night? Like, themes or attire or anything else?”

“I was thinking since we’re opening on Halloween, maybe we could all wear costumes. But, not cheap shit like Spirit Halloween costumes.”

“I love Spirit Halloween!” Crystal whined.

“I do, too. But, you know what I mean. I want the costumes to be high class.”

“I think that’s a great idea.”

“You should definitely bring Gigi,” Jaida said. 

“Are you bringing anyone?” Crystal asked.

Jaida shook her head. “I had a boyfriend back home, but he found out about some… baggage, and decided it was too much. It’s okay, though. The sex was great, but that’s about it. Sometimes I’d talk to him and it was completely in one ear and out the other.”

“God, that sounds like my ex-boyfriend.”

“Why do men? Anyway, you best be thinking about costumes.”

“I’ve got a few couple costumes in mind.”

Crystal had gotten home before Gigi. All she could hope was that her girlfriend’s fangs were back to normal, and that they wouldn’t be stuck forever. 

Usually, Crystal wasn’t one to greet Gigi at the door, but she was so concerned, she opened the door when she heard Gigi begin to unlock it. 

“How are you fangs?” Crystal asked the second Gigi stepped inside.

Gigi proudly smiled to show that her fangs were no longer visible. 

“When did that happen? How did it happen?”

“Honestly? I have no idea. I felt them retract while I was working.”

“Well now, if you ever write a vampire guidebook, which you should, you can put something in the ‘garlic’ chapter.”

“I can’t stand you.” Gigi made sure to make her tone sound just as Crystal’s did when she said it.

“Using my words against me? A power move.”

A wicked smile formed on Gigi’s face. “I’ll show you a power move.”

With that, Gigi tackled Crystal so that she landed on the couch. Crystal laughed as Gigi kissed her neck.

“I’m not afraid of you!” Crystal retorted as she kissed her girlfriend. 

Immediately, Gigi pulled away and barred her fangs. “You should be.” 

“Is that so?” Crystal bit her lip suggestively. “Why would that be?”

Gigi ran her fangs up and down Crystal’s neck, drawing small drops of blood. “You know why.”

Crystal batted her dark eyelashes. “Actually, I don’t… In fact, I think you’re going to have to show me. Really spell it out for me, you know?”

Effortlessly pinning Crystal’s arms up over her head Gigi said,  “You’d like that wouldn’t you? You’d like for me to rough you up, you filthy–”

Before Gigi could finish her sentence her phone, which was on the end table, rang. She reached for it as Crystal smacked her hand away. 

“Phone call later. Please, for the love of all things holy, finish that sentence.” 

“It’s Jackie.”

“Jackie can wait,” Crystal said as she ran her hand up her girlfriend’s skirt, which earned a wrist slap from Gigi.  

“Something could be wrong,” she said as she answered the call. “Hello?”

“Gigi, hi…” Jackie began. “So, Jan feels terrible about… everything, and was wondering if you would want to do dinner again.”

Crystal was sitting so close to Gigi that she could hear Jackie. 

“Turn speaker on,” Crystal mouthed. 

“How?” Gigi mouthed back.

Crystal stole her girlfriend’s phone and turned speaker on.

“Jackie, I already told you that it isn’t Jan’s fault. I promise that I’m not upset, and I’m fine.”

“I know… But we still would love to have you over again.”

Crystal’s eyes went wide as she mouthed, “No.”

Gigi shrugged. “We’re kind of busy… Crystal has the exhibit opening, so she doesn’t have very much spare time.”

“Hi, Jackie. It’s Crystal. You’re on speaker, sorry. Why don’t you and Jan come over for drinks? Does Friday night work? Maybe at eight?”

“Friday would be great! I’ll tell Jan. How’s your allergic reaction, Gigi?”

“I’m fine,” Gigi said. “Crystal and I were actually in the middle of something, so I’m going to go now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay! Bye.”

Gigi hung up. “Why did you invite them over?”

“I know people like Jackie. She’s not going to let up until you finally agree. I figure if we have them over here, we can make sure nothing like that happens, not that I think it would. Besides, Jan seems really sweet. It’d also be nice to share a bottle of wine with someone.”

“You seem to enjoy drinking an entire bottle by yourself,” Gigi smirked as she guided Crystal on her back. “Now… Where were we?”

“I can’t believe I suggested this,” Crystal groaned, as she sat on the couch absentmindedly petting Akasha.

“I can’t either,” Gigi muttered, while she ran her fingers down the smooth gold necklace she was wearing. “Let’s just get through this.”

Crystal groaned when she heard a knock on the door. “Guess I’m the good little trophy wife that’s gonna open the door this time.” 

Jan and Jackie stood in the doorway looking far too excited.

“Hi, come in,” Crystal said, gesturing for them to go inside. 

“You have a beautiful home,” Jan said while she hung her coat on the rack by the door.

“Thank you,” Crystal said.

“Oh, wow, Crystal did you paint that?” Jackie asked looking at the mural of an anatomical illustration of two people kissing. 

Crystal felt her face light up with pride. “I did. One day Gigi went to work, and I was off, and got bored.”

“And then I came home to be greeted by a half-completed mural,” Gigi said as she stood up from the couch and grabbed Crystal’s waist. 

“It’s really interesting,” Jan said as she looked at it further. 

“I tried to take some things that reminded me of Gigi, so obviously all the anatomical stuff, and then I tried to add aspects of myself, like the colors and the flowers.”

“Well, it’s absolutely incredible,” Jackie said. 

“Thank you!”

Jan turned to face Gigi, taking her by the hands. “Gigi, I am so, so sorry about dinner…”

Unfortunately for Gigi, Jan was wearing her wedding ring which was made of silver. A sharp pain radiated from the back of her hand all the way to her wrist. 

Even though she did her best to hide her pain, Jan asked, “Is everything okay?”

Gigi nodded. “Must have eaten something bad at lunch.”

Looking down at the place on her hand where Jan’s ring touched, Gigi saw just how irritated the skin was, and stuck her hand in her pocket to make it less noticeable. 

“I’ve been feeling sick a lot lately, too,” Jan said.

Crystal looked around the silent room and cleared her throat. “Who wants wine? There’s a bottle in the kitchen.”

“I’ll help you,” Gigi said as she turned to go to the kitchen. In an afterthought, she looked at Jan and Jackie and gestured at the couch. “Please sit.”

“What the fuck happened to your hand?” Crystal whispered as soon as they made it into the kitchen. 

“You saw that?”

Crystal nodded. “What happened?”

“Jan’s wedding ring.” Gigi held her hand out to show the irritated skin that was beginning to blister. 

“Gross. Can your blood heal it?”

Gigi shook her head. “It has to go away on its own.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Oh, darling, it is absolutely excruciating,” Gigi said through a forced smile as she reached for the wine bottle.

“No, I got it,” Crystal picked up a corkscrew. “I figured tonight would be the night to break out the bottle with an actual cork. Are you going to be pretending to enjoy this tonight?”

“Maybe focusing on pretending to enjoy the wine will make me think less about how my hand feels like I dipped it in acid.” Gigi pulled her sleeve down strategically after she picked up two of the wine glasses. “Let’s go.”

Jackie was sitting on the couch when they returned, but Jan on the other hand was sitting on the floor petting Akasha.

“You are so cute,” Jan cooed as Akasha rubbed against her thigh.

Gigi went to hand Jan a glass of wine, making sure the burn was still covered.

Jan held a hand up. “No thank you, I’m taking a break from drinking for now.”

“More for me I guess,” Gigi joked as she took a sip after setting down the full glass. It had been a few decades since her last sip of wine, but it was just as unpleasant as she remembered. 

“I can go get you something else!” Crystal said. 

“No, don’t worry about it! I’m fine.”

Once Gigi and Crystal were comfortable in the lounge chairs, Jackie said, “White wine? Nice choice.”

“Thank you. I’m not a fan of red. I feel like everyone just pretends to like it to feel classy,” Crystal laughed as she took a sip. 

“Yes!” Jan exclaimed. “They pretend they like it and then everyone is so dead-set on making it a thing that no one realizes that everyone actually hates it!”

“Absolutely.” 

“Sweet red wines can be good,” Jackie said.

Jan tapped her cheek pretending to think. “Hmm… No. I love you, sweetheart, but no.”

“What about you, Gigi?” Jackie asked. 

Taking another drink, Gigi couldn’t help but notice that the wine was starting to taste worse. “I’m not a very big wine person, if I’m being honest.”

“For someone that’s not a wine person, you’re sure taking big sips, babe,” Crystal said, as she raised an eyebrow. “That’s how we used to drink pink moscato by the bottle back at Kendall…”

How was Gigi supposed to know how big of a sip of wine to take? She just wanted the glass empty. 

“Wait, you went to Kendall?” Jan asked, and Crystal nodded in response. “So did I!”

“You went to a pretentious art school? For what?”

“Musical theatre.”

“Oh, god, you’re a theatre kid?” Crystal teased. 

“What’d you major in?”

“Studio art.”

“Wasn’t that the major of the one girl that set the smoke detector in the library off? Did you know her?”

Crystal took a long drink. 

“That was you?” 

“Not my proudest moment! I had to study for an art history exam and I was stressed, and I thought if I hit my pen it wouldn’t set off the smoke detectors.”

“You’re infamous. My little sister said they still talk about it.”

“I’d like to think of myself as famous, actually.”

Jan and Crystal continued exchanging stories about school. They realized that their friend circles were more connected than she would have assumed. Crystal’s friend Widow was friends with Jan’s sorority sister, Brita. On the night of Widow’s twenty-first birthday, Brita was there. Crystal had only met her once, but that one time was memorable. 

Even though she wasn’t sure why, Gigi began to notice that Jan would make eye contact with her every so often.

Crystal could get along with genuinely anyone, and Jan appeared to be content talking to a tree. Gigi assumed they would get along, but didn’t expect them to form a friendship right away. It was clear that Crystal enjoyed Jan and Jackie’s company, and she had to admit she did, as well. 

When it was time to say goodbyes for the evening, Jan held Crystal’s hands in the way she had with Gigi’s earlier. With this in mind, when it came time for Gigi’s goodbyes, she offered a hug.

“Didn’t realize you were a hugger,” Jackie mused. 

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Jackie,” Gigi faked a smile as she hugged Jackie. “See you Monday.”

For a moment before shutting the door, Gigi could have sworn she saw Jan glare in her direction. 

“Smooth,” Crystal said when the door shut. “I actually enjoyed that a lot.”

“Me, too,” Gigi said, unable to get Jan glare out of her mind. 

[hitsuackerman]

A Different Hashira (Giyu x Reader) pt 4

Here is the part 4 of A Different Hashira

You can click here for part 1 :)

You can click here for part 2 :)

You can click here for part 3 :)

- - - - -

Food

-A BIT OF MANGA SPOILERS AHEAD-

The day had finally arrived where your crows carried messages for your missions. Both of you were assigned on solo missions. Your birds arrived while the two of you were enjoying a quiet breakfast. Somehow, you had managed to talk him into having breakfast with you. Not believing what you saw, Giyu turns out to be a groggy person in the morning. Seeing him with hazy eyes gave you a new sensation in your tummy.

You did learn one thing about Giyu. When his crow arrived, you saw his eye twitch visibly. He did give him a thanks before the crow flew back out the window.

"Does your crow make you... nervous, Tomioka-san?"

As he ate his rice, he nodded and stifled a yawn.

Other than that, it was a very tranquil breakfast. The washing of the dishes fell on Giyu as you cleaned the table.

Both of you then proceeded to mind your own businesses.

You were feeling frisky so you decided to wear your slayer uniform with a skort instead of the usual pants. Instead of your usual ponytail, you sported a half up half down. Because, why not?

You did linger around your choice of blade. Bringing two would be too troublesome, so you opted for your other blade instead. It had also dawned to you how the other pillars haven't really seen your real sword since you kept on bringing the fake one.

The thought also entered your mind. Ubuyashiki-sama never really mentions what pillar you were when the others were present. Not even Kyo or Mitsuri knew. To them you were a generic pillar of some-sorts.

In your mind, you were reviewing what your raven had relayed to you.

Your mission was to go to the village 4 hours from the estate. There was an abnormal raise of demons to the point where some swordsmen have disappeared. You were to stay there for only 3 days before falling back to the estate should nothing happen.

By the time you finished preparing, you finally wore your haori. It was always the best feeling in the world.

When you went downstairs, Giyu had already left. There was a tinge of sadness to you, he could've just said good bye. With a sigh, you left the estate and head off to your mission.

- -

The trip was pretty bland during the first few hours. Things took a turn when Karasutori came flying to you once more.

"(Y/N). You are to follow Ubuyashiki Amane tomorrow."

You wanted to ask why but you knew too well that your bird was a stubborn one despite training it to be level-headed. Nodding your answer, you gave him a soft pat on the head till he was flying in the air once more. At the same time, the village was now in view. All you wanted to do now was to take a rest and nap. And probably eat some manju.

After wandering and assessing the village, your eyes came across the familiar House with the Wisteria Family Crest. Practically running towards it, you were greeted by Hisa.

Showing you to your room, you were served food and tea. And surprisingly, manju. Because you've been branded as a frequent visitor, Hisa showed up with your yukata. It was an all black yukata that had red gradients on its sleeves.

The night finally arrived and you were munching on your dinner till you heard the familiar voice of a pillar. Once the tatami doors slid open, you were greeted by Sanemi.

"Hello~" Stretching out your hand, you offered him some of your food. "Ohagi?"

There was a slight falter in his anger. With hesitation, he took the ohagi and ate it in peace.

"You like ohagi, Sanemi-san?"

"What's it to you?" The usual anger in his voice was there despite you not sensing it anymore.

"You look better when your calm." Slowly, you placed another ohagi onto his plate. He didn't reject. A thought entered your mind. Sanemi was one of the pillars that you never really made a bond with, so this was a once in a lifetime chance. "How many ohagi's can you fit in your mouth, Sanemi-san?"

His line of sight jerked to you. He caught on with the teasing tone of your voice.

"Are you fucking challenging me, (L/N)?"

"Maybe...?"

"OI! GRANDMA! BRING US A SHIT TON OF OHAGI!"

A surprised smile entered your face at the sudden change of mood between the two of you. Not long after, Hisa came in with the biggest amount of ohagi you had ever seen. She must've been eavesdropping seeing that they were no bigger than dango's.

 Within a few seconds, you and the Wind Pillar were stuffing your mouths with as much ohagi as you could. For an added challenge, after each piece you had to say the word 'Nichirin'.

It was all fun and games till you had 5 in your mouth. Sanemi on the other hand, had 7.

"Nghihiring" You tried your best. You felt the drool dripping onto your yukata. It felt cold and gross.

"Nihkherin" He muttered as he took in another piece of ohagi.

Just as you were about to regret the decision of starting the game, Your messenger birds arrived with news.

"(L/N). Shinazugawa. Proceed to north west part of the forest. Demons have been attacking."

With puffy cheeks, the both of you chewed on your ohagi's while going towards your respective rooms.

Minutes later, with your blades hanging on your sides, the two of you were now running at full speeds to where the demons were reported to be. When the two of you felt the familiar aura of demons, Sanemi signaled and the two of you ran even faster.

Coming to a halt, you bumped into his back.

"Draw out your blades, (L/N)."

Following his order, you stationed yourself by his right hand and carefully forwarded with caution.

Hearing a rustle coming from the bushes, both of you pointed your blades only to be met by Amane.

"Amane-sama!" You both knelt and greeted at the same time.

"Rise. It is only I. The other demons have made their exit as we speak. However, we must look for a house with two boys. I fear they may be badly injured."

Sanemi accompanied her as you made your own way.

After moving forward and searching, you stumbled upon nothing and made your way back to the others. When you arrived at the rendezvous, Sanemi's crow was waiting for you. And just like his master, the crow bit your cheek. Slapping the bird away, the crow tugged on your haori and motioned you to follow him.

You halted when you saw the body of a demon severely killed. Almost as if it was killed with the primal instinct to survive. You could also see just how ragged the lines were indicating that it was not a sword that was used in killing the demon. It was splayed right outside a house.

Moments later, Sanemi came out of the house with a badly injured boy with long black hair. Running towards the two of them, you could smell the odor of a decayed body. Further inspection of the boy, you saw how some maggots had found their way to the scars on his body. Making your way inside, you saw Amane covering the body of , what seems to be the brother.

"We were too late. Luckily, the boy Sanemi-san is tending to now is alive."

The House with the Wisteria Family Crest gladly took him in. They treated his injuries just enough for him to stabilize. The mission was now over and you were to head back to the Ubuyashiki Manor the next day.

Sitting on the engawa by the garden, your meditation was cut when you heard footsteps. Sanemi was walking towards you with a tray of manju and tea. Placing it beside you, he sat down, tossed a manju into his mouth, and sipped on his tea.

"Does this mean I won, Sanemi-san?" You teased while chewing on a manju.

"Who the fuck said you won? Just wanted to say that was a good way to waste some shitty time here."

"Anytime~"

- - - - -

When the three of you arrived, Amane had instructed Sanemi to take the kid to their manor. Following orders, you were left alone to wander off to wherever you wanted.

You chose to head home.

Hearing the familiar stream of water gave you the energy you longed for. Your mind then fell unto the status of cleanliness the estate had. 2 days had passed and because you left a lot of windows open, dust was sure to greet you.

Greeted with the familiar silence, you hopped to your room and checked if your Nichirin sword was still in its place. Seeing it in place made you feel relaxed and safer. Though the Water Estate was safe with a bunch of wisteria trees planted around it, you were still as cautious as ever. After hearing about what Tecchikawahara had to warn you about your Nichirin sword, you were paranoid to some extent.

Locking the doors once more, you changed into your yukata and sat down by the engawa. You felt sleep slowly take over your body. The breeze was a temperature lower today. Having to walk all the way back was a little tiring, you weren't going to lie.

The main doors slid open and you turned your back.

"Hello." Giving Giyu a smile as he entered the manor. He bowed his head as he walked past you.

"Do you want something to eat?"

"No. It's fine."

There it was again. The ticklish sensation in your tummy. It always made you feel giddy when he answered back.

"Well, I want something to eat. Accompany me?"

Giyu stopped walking and glanced at you over his shoulders. Though there was a considerable amount of distance, you saw how his eyes had darker circles. If anything, it seemed as if the color in his eyes became a shade darker.

His mind seemed to be working overtime at the sudden invite. Looking at you, he could tell that you were tired from the mission. You could have chosen to just eat alone yet there you were, in a yukata with messy hair. He failed to notice that you were already an arms length from him. He could smell a hint of lavender on you.

"I'll take your silence as a yes! Let's just cook a simple meal and go on our separate ways, is that okay?"

"Okay."

With a toothy smile, you let him go to his room to freshen up. Inside the kitchen, you were left to ponder on your thoughts.

'Shit. What food does he like?'

[lindoig7]

Saturday-Monday, 29-31 August

Saturday

We spent nearly all day around the van.  We had a few business things to do, sorting papers, analysing our costs to date, planning some more excursions, looking at and editing photos, blogging and so on.

A few days ago, I had been foolish enough to use the Vicroads site to try to renew the car registration.  It offers a method of paying your registration ‘now’ but has to be the most misleading and confusing site ever.  When I had gone through the process of ticking a few boxes, I got no feedback of any sort and no indication that my ticks had been recorded.  Had I paid it or not? – nobody knows!  The site said I had to wait 3 days to find out if my bank had processed the payment (without indicating if a transaction was in the wind or not!!) and that was today.  I checked and found that the ‘now’ payment had been scheduled for 4 days hence – and there is no way I can change that.  The van rego was also due in a couple of weeks, so I paid that and tried to bring the car payment forward, but it is somehow locked in place and all I can hope is that it actually happens – but there will never be any form of receipt to prove I have paid it.  I would most strongly advise anyone NOT to try to use this absurd process.

We went out for a walk during the afternoon, mainly just a somewhat extended lap around the circuit across the creek behind us. The sun was gorgeous, and the crowds had largely taken the arvo off, but the birds were there, and it was a delightful hour or so in the local area.

Sunday

Amazing!  We were on the road before 9am – definitely our earliest start this trip (maybe ever!). We weren’t going all that far, just to Moe, 30 clicks away.  We went to the Edward Hunter Heritage Bush Reserve, a seemingly small, unremarkable and unadvertised reserve that we stumbled on almost by accident and that I found quite delightful.  There are numerous trails around the Reserve and we walked about 5 km, traversing a range of beautiful habitats and sometimes quaint bridges and archways, through lovely forest walks.  I must just have been in the right mood because I enjoyed it so much.  One of the Trustees of the Reserve buttonholed Heather for an extended period (and tried to draw me in a little later too) but apart from that, we were able to roam at will and enjoy a wonderful couple of hours communing with nature.  I enjoyed the birds, both big and little, and there were more than enough plants and fungi to keep us both enthralled for hours.

We ate our lunch in the car and then drove through a delightful winding road to Narracan and on to Thorpdale, Trafalgar and thence to Woolworths in Warragul. We had to buy a few essentials, but as usual got trapped into some great seafood bargains and came away with unexpected ingredients and a resolve to eat Paella again for dinner.

An interesting little statistic……  Warragul is supposedly 84 km from home and when we parked for the night, the trip meter showed 6084.0 km – so we have driven exactly 6000 clicks in our exploration of central and west Gippsland during the past 2 months.  (With more to come!)

We had a Zoom meeting with the family – 14 of us participated and we had a great hour and a half enjoying each other’s company. The wind picked up as the session started and the rain started about the time we all signed off, but it was great to have the time with everyone, even if only virtually.

Would you belive it?  The paella was spectacular - absolutely wonderful!

Monday

And so, as winter sinks slowly in the west…..  Last day of winter and it was a good one.  A few very light and transient sprinkles early in the day, but mostly sunny for much of the day.

We went back to Phillip Island to do some more of the walks and we did two, each of about 4 km: just over 8 clicks between them.

The first one we did started at the same place we started from when we did the Conservation Hill walk a couple of weeks ago – but we went in the opposite direction, north towards the Rhyll Inlet and Westernport Bay.  Some of it was on a Boardwalk with mangroves on one side and a grassy hill and scrubby trees on the other, but it was quite varied.  In some places, we were in open country with sheep and cattle grazing in the rich green paddocks and at other times in thick coastal paperbark forest. We climbed up onto an escarpment overlooking the Inlet and Westernport Bay with French Island in the middle distance and rocky outcrops and mangroves in the foreground.  It was all quite pretty and for once, we saw a few birds – at least it was a little easier to see them when they were about.  I spent some time chasing a Grey Shrike-thrush but could never see it in an open enough place to get a decent photo.  I did get a few others and will post some of them but the Shrike-thrush is a bit of a favourite and sounds quite wonderful in the bush.  That walk was not a loop – we just walked to the end, ate our lunch and walked back to the car.  There were about a dozen or fifteen Masked Lapwings near the end of the walk and one pair were guarding their 3 half-grown chicks, but when a Swamp Harrier flew across looking for its lunch, the whole flock of Lapwings joined together to chase it away – definitely Herd Immunity in action.  Ten minutes later, the Harrier was back and the whole episode was repeated.  The only ones not visibly panicking were the mother and her 3 chicks.

The second walk was at the Scenic Estate Conservation Reserve – the one I explored briefly after our big Cape Wollomai walk a few weeks ago.  That also took us out to a couple of lookouts on Westernport Bay, but the highlight was probably our encounter with an echidna.  I saw it as it waddled across a path into some dense grass and it thought it was hiding from us but it was only hiding its head.  We waited patiently taking lots of photos and in due course it backed out far enough to check us out and vice versa – allowing us to get a few more pics including its head.  It seemed to realise that we were not a threat and accepted us being so close without too much concern.  It was certainly the best view we have had of an echidna in the wild and it seemed so cute.

We have travelled many of the roads in the south Gippsland area numerous times recently, but we found a bit of a variation via Kongwak and Archie’s Creek to Dalyston on the way to Phillip Island and came home through Bena and Ranceby. That was a really beautiful winding road, but I am not sure I could repeat it.  I suspect we may have done a few random meanders on the way through because the map indicates it is only about 25 km but I reckon it took us well over half an hour.  Not complaining though because it was a lovely drive with delightful deep steep valleys disappearing into the gloom as the sun left them for the day.

Dinner was another spectacular masterpiece: a gluttonous variation on the seafood/vongole repast of last week.  A really wonderful satisfying day all up, topped off by falling asleep before the end of our Seven Years in Tibet – not really our 7 years – it is a movie on DVD that we purchased a week ago.

[silverdriftdragon]

Don’t Eat the Weeds

x - Done

o - requested

@badthingshappenbingo​

First I want to say how very sorry I am that this took so dang long. For whatever reason Lin and Caspar fought me tooth and nail about getting this done and while I’m still not too happy with it... I hope its at least enjoyable for you! Again, I apologize!

 The next thing I post may not be request related, just to revive my brain a bit. but I’m hoping to get these requests done soon!

You can also read this on Ao3!

It was not unusual for Caspar to find his boyfriend in the weirdest places, sound asleep. Once, he found the man asleep among the plants in the green house in the middle of the night while recording their magical properties. Another time Linhardt had been hiding from Edelgard, ended up on the roof somehow and dozed off there. So, to have found him in the library, out cold beside the shelves and books and papers scattered around him… it seemed mild. Caspar just picked him (and all his papers) up and carried him back to his bed like he usually did.

Except, when he came back to check on him several hours later… Linhardt hadn’t moved.

Though, he had been recently obsessing over whatever his current topic of research was, napping far less than usual… so Caspar just assumed he was completely wiped and needed the sleep. The question of waking him up for dinner did cross his mind, as sometimes food was the farthest thing from Lin's mind when he got like this… but eventually he decided to just bring something back for when the man awoke and set off to get his own dinner before bed.

 The worry didn’t set in until the next morning. Caspar had slept in, having gone to bed late because he lost track of time sparing with Raphael, but when he went to see Linhardt… he found the scholar still in bed, seemingly asleep still and in the exact same position that he was in when Caspar laid him down the day before. The food that had been left for him was completely untouched as well, so it wasn’t like he got up, ate and went back to sleep.

 “Hey. You can’t sleep all day… there’s training to do!” Caspar called loudly.

 No response.

 His face knitted together into a look of concern. Normally even in a dead sleep, the mere mention of training caused Linhardt to protest. Yet, not only did Caspar not receive so much as a single groan… there was no reaction to his naturally loud voice. Slowly he walked up to the bed and reached out to shake him. “H-hey, Lin you-“ He jerked his hand away almost the moment he touched him. Even though those clothes, the mage was burning up and still very unresponsive. Caspar bolted out the door in an instant, nearly tripping over himself in his rush to find Marianne or Mercedes.

 Everything after that happened in such a blur, Caspar could barely keep up. He found Mercedes, but it took her AND Marianne to get the situation under any sort of control and even then, one of them almost constantly had to be casting some sort of faith magic while the other worked to find out what was wrong. They asked him so many questions he couldn’t answer… was he showing any signs of illness before? What caused him to fall unconscious? Was it sudden or gradual? Was he showing any odd symptoms before this? Each time he couldn’t answer, he felt worse and worse.

 “I-I don’t know… I got up yesterday morning and he already had his nose in a book… I don’t even think had gone to sleep… but he seemed fine! I gave him a kiss and asked if he wanted breakfast, he told me he would eat soon and then I left. I got busy and didn’t see him again until I found him and he was already out…”

 “Where did you find him?” Mercedes asked, just a gentle as ever, standing over Linhardt with a stead cast of magic. Marianne was just quietly testing different thing to see if she could pinpoint a cause.

 “In the library. I-I didn’t know anything was wrong! He falls asleep everywhere, I-… I didn’t know…” His voice cracked at the end, tears prickling his eyes as they fell upon the unconscious form upon the bed. “I didn’t know…”

 “Don’t blame yourself, Caspar.” Marianne piped up, though still very soft spoken. “do you happen to know what he was studying?”

 “One of those plants in the greenhouse… said he found one hidden in the back that hadn’t been studied a lot.” He wasn’t really sure why that mattered at all, but when he saw Marianne and Mercedes look at each other so quick, the confusion only got worse. “What? What’d I say?”

 “I need to know which plant. It's possible it could be the cause.” Mercedes stepped away, letting Marianne take over the steady stream of faith magic.

 “He had a stack of papers scattered around him, maybe its in there sonewhere… they’re on his desk if that helps.” He offered, watching her as she hurried over to the desk. “You don’t think he ate the plant or something do you? I mean I know Lin gets a little weird when he is doing research…” he watched Mercedes stare at one particular piece of paper for a longer than she had the rest of the stack.

 “Yes, I believe he did. But I think he overestimated its effects.…” she started gather up some herbs that she brought with her. “Its treatable, I just hope we aren’t starting to late…”

 It didn’t take long for them to send him away. Probably because he had started pacing, hovering and just in general being in the way. So, he made his way back to his room, flopping down on his bed with a thunk and vaguely hearing Ferdinand complain about the noise from Hubert's old room. Part of him felt bad, because he knew that Ferdinand had actually lost the man he loved to the war… but it was hard for him to think about that when his own boyfriend was fighting for his life. Or at least, it would have been… if the man didn’t suddenly appear at Caspar's open door.

 “Caspar,” the red head started, crossing his arms over his chest with a scowl, “Need you make such racket just lying down?”

 “Sorry, Ferdinand…”

 Ferdinand's expression softened in to concerned confusion. The normally boisterous man would normally apologize, but then make some excuse for his volume, as if everyone didn’t already know he was just naturally loud… but now it seemed something had his personality quite muted. “Is something the matter? You look… stressed.”

 The last thing Caspar wanted to do was talk about his boyfriend to a guy that literally just came out of his deceased lover’s room. His hesitance to answer apparently was all Ferdinand needed.

 “Is it about Linhardt?”

 Caspar sat up onto the edge of the bed, slouched over with his arms rest on his knees. He didn’t look at the man at his door, he couldn’t, his eyes remaining fixed on the floor. “Yeah. He…” The thought trailed off as he ran a hand through his hair, not even noticing that Ferdinand had come in and sat down in his desk chair. “Apparently he was researching some stupid plant and ate it and now… now he’s with Mercie and Mari and I dunno what’s… what’s gonna happen…”

 “Oh…” Ferdinand was admittedly a bit ashamed. He had been expecting to hear of a fight between the two given their vastly different personalities… not to hear that Linhardt was in a fight for his life. “I am sorry, truly… I am sure the ladies are doing everything to save him. Let us hope for the best.”

 “Yeah… I just… I feel like it’s my fault! When I found him I-I should have know something was up! Instead I just took him to his room and left and it got worse! What if I basically ki-… oh..” Guilt washed over him, and he looked up just in time to see Ferdinand look away. “S-sorry Ferdinand… I didn’t mean-“

 “It is fine. I know it was not your intention.” He said, taking a moment before he was able to look back at Caspar. “Please, do not blame yourself. I am sure there if there was any real indication of his condition, you would have gotten him care immediately.”

 “I guess…” The response didn’t quite fit with what had been said to him, but it was what came out regardless. “I just feel like I should have known something was wrong.”

 Ferdinand got to his feet moved closer to Caspar's side, placing a hand upon his shoulder when he sat next to him. “I doubt there was any way for you to have known. I know you would not have been negligent of Linhardt's life and I am sure he knows that as well. We all know that.”

 Caspar was quiet for the moment. That little voice in his head was still saying he should have known… but Ferdinand was right. He did get help at the first sign of a problem after all. “Yeah… you’re right.” He went quiet, staring at his feet for a while and Ferdinand just sat there with him. It was comforting actually, not sitting there stewing and wondering all alone. At least now, even as the red head got up to leave, he would know it wasn’t his fault. He lifted his head as the other man reached the door, realizing he had yet to say thank you. “Hey Ferdinand?”

 The man stopped, looking back over his shoulder. “Yes Caspar?”

 “Thanks.”

 “Of course. I hope he recovers.” The smile on his face was a bit sad. “I would not wish this on anyone…”

 ---

 Caspar didn’t know when he fell asleep, but a soft knock at the door startled him awake. At first, he felt confused and a little hopeful. Maybe it was all a dream. Maybe Linhardt was ok and that was him at the door. Hurriedly, he ran to the door, hoping, praying that he would find his sleepy boyfriend thanking him for leaving food for him… but that was not the case. Instead, standing outside his door was Mercedes, looking very, very tired. Caspar visibly drooped, disappointed… but the realization that none of that was a dream crept in and he quickly went in a panic. “Mercie… Linhardt is he…”

 “He is stable, but not awake.” She gave him a sweet smile, despite how exhausted she was. “Marianne and I managed to stop the reaction and get his fever broken. I am hopeful he will wake soon and it just wouldn’t be the same without you there when he does!”

 Relief swept over him, almost overwhelmingly. He was so relieved in fact that he couldn’t stop himself from yanking Mercedes into a tight hug. “Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

 “Ah!” She was startled at first, but it soon faded off into a soft giggle. “Don’t thank me yet Caspar! It could still be some time before he wakes up… and even then, it might be a while before he can do things normally. It was quite the traumatic event.”

 “Ok, but you said he is alive, right?”

 “Well yes. I do expect he will recover quite well actually, it just may be a slow process.”

 “You save his life, Mercedes! I… I can’t thank you and Mari enough for that.” He gave her another squeeze before it hit him that she came to get him so he could back to Linhardt's side. So he quickly let go and took off running. “THANKS MERCIE!”

 ---

 Four weeks went, but when Mercedes came in to do her normal check one day, she was surprised to find Linhardt awake. It had startled her, as she wasn’t expecting him to look at her when she came in, enough so that she nearly dropped the bowl of water she was carrying. “Oh! Linhardt!” She exclaimed, dropping her voice when she realized that Caspar was asleep, “I didn’t know you were awake!”

 “I haven’t been long.” He slurred, not completely coherent.

 “Yes… Caspar found you.” She looked at the sleeping man, exhausted from his own lack of rest and waiting. It upset her to have watched Caspar put on that enthusiastic and cheerful face, but his eyes being just so tired and lost… only for this man to be so casual about the situation. “Just what were you thinking Linhardt?? This could have killed you!”

 “Calm down, Mercedes. I was never in that kind of-“

 “No. You listen for a moment.” She interrupted, a mix of sadness and irritation. “You nearly died Linhardt. You underestimated the subject of your research and because of that, you’ve spent the last four weeks in a coma… You scared Caspar to death!”

 Linhardt opened his mouth to speak… but closed it again. Four weeks? It was hard to believe. That plant did have some understudied effects on those with a crest, but that was certainly not what he was expecting. His eye moved to look at Caspar, who hadn’t budged once since Mercedes came in. “Has he been here the whole time?”

 “Yes. He has hardly left your side in the past four weeks… it’s been a chore to get him to eat properly or sleep well because he absolutely would not leave unless he had to. Ferdinand took it upon himself to at least make sure he was brought food if he didn’t see him in the dinning hall at least once a day.”

 “Ah. Do thank him for me, would you? I don’t imagine once Caspar wakes I’ll have much time to do so myself…” He sighed. To most it might have sounded like he was annoyed, and he was, but not at Caspar as it may have seemed. It was more directed at himself for having worried his boyfriend so badly over such a gross miscalculation.

 “Sure. Just as long as you promise not to do something so reckless again!”

 “I cannot promise that. It’s bound to happen in this particular field of research. But I will at least try to make sure I have someone present to assist immediately should things go arwy.”

 “Good enough.” She giggled, knowing that was the best she was going to get. She proceeded to check him over, check reflexes and such. After she was done, she started to go get him some water and a light meal… but when she saw Caspar start to stir, she smiled and motioned for Linhardt to keep quiet for a moment. “Caspar?”

 “Huh?” He responded groggily, slowly pulling himself to a sitting position. “Mercie? Yeah… sorry I’m…” a yawn interrupted his train of thought, “I’m awake.”

 “Oh good. Will you please get a glass of water?”

 “Yeah sure. No problem.” He drug himself to his feet and absentmindedly trudged over to retrieve the requested item. “Is everything checking out ok?”

 “Oh yes. I’d say there is significant improvement!” She said cheerfully, a slight giggle towards the end as she glanced at Linhardt.

 “That’s awesome! Hopefully he-“ That’s when he turned around. His whole body froze, refusing to do anything except stare at Linhardt with the most shocked expression up until the glass shattering on the floor snapped him out of it.   “L-Lin…” His voice cracked.

 “You know, you really shouldn’t sleep in the floor like that. You’ll hurt your neck.” Linhardt stated, giving a soft smile. It was meant to be a joke mostly, as he was aware he didn’t have any room to talk.

 Caspar couldn’t even argue. He just let out a small laugh, tears running down his face as he dropped to his knees beside the bed, hugging his beloved crest scholar as tightly as possible without hurting him. He never noticed Mercedes quietly clean up the glass and slip out or Ferdinand coming by with food. He was just happy that this was over. Just happy to have his Lin back.

[elisaphoenix13]

To Lose Everything...(Ch.7 End)

**Chapter contains a few Far From Home spoilers**

Peter was barely gone on his trip for two days when Stephen suddenly started to feel uneasy. When he had told Wong about it, his friend just said that it was probably just some separation anxiety and that it would pass. It was a plausible reason so Stephen didn't think much else of it. This was the first time Peter would be away from them for more than just a night.

So he ignored his feelings of wrong and continued his duties with his phone close by. Peter would call him if something happened and he could be there in an instant. As the days passed though, the feeling got worse and worse. It was toward the end of his adopted son's trip that had Stephen on edge. This couldn't be separation anxiety. Could it? Peter would tell him if he needed help...right?

No, Stephen's mind told him, he couldn't even ask you if he could go on this trip in the first place.

"...are you listening?" Wong's voice filters through his frantic thoughts and he blinks up at him before rubbing his eyes.

"No. I'm sorry. I've been on edge lately." Stephen admits with a heavy sigh.

"Peter will be home tomorrow night."

That thought was what kept Stephen sane. Peter would be home soon, and he could go back to sleeping soundly once he was sure that the teen was safely in his room. Nightmares had been plaguing him so often lately that he had resorted to letting only his body rest at night. He astral projected when he should have been sleeping to avoid the bad dreams.

Of course then he got the text from Happy later that day.

The kid is in a bad place. He called me, I'm helping him out, but I figured I would let you know.

Stephen's self reassurance that Peter would ask him for help was proven wrong by that one text. He didn't go to his adoptive parent, but rather Happy. Peter was probably trying not to burden him again. The teen would undeniably come up with the excuse that Stephen was the Sorcerer Supreme and had more pressing responsibilities than to worry about a teenager. It was wrong though. Peter was his kid now, and he would drop everything to help him. That was probably the exact reason the teenager didn't call him.

So he trusted Happy to help Peter, and if things got too hairy, to call him. He didn't get anything of the sort though. There was no news of any trouble anywhere in Europe (only in Venice when Peter was supposed to be there, which probably set off his discomfort), and Stephen was getting ready for bed when he got one more text from Happy, telling him that Peter was okay and on the plane home. Stephen didn't sleep well that night either. He had tried of course, but he needed to see with his own eyes that his son was okay.

Wong had to wake him up so Stephen could portal to the airport and pick Peter up. He slept so poorly last night that his ten minutes of resting his eyes turned into an hour of sleep and he had to scramble out of bed and change into his street clothes before portaling to the airport. He stepped out into an empty corner and made his way out into the open and leaned against a wall with his arms folded as he waited for Peter to appear. Ten...fifteen minutes passed when the teen finally stepped into view and the first thing Stephen noticed was the boy's limp. It wasn't obvious to anyone but him since he had been looking for injuries, and the exhaustion in Peter's eyes only made Stephen's heart clench.

As soon as Peter saw him, the sorcerer moved from his spot on the wall to meet him halfway, and very quickly found himself with an armful of Peter. "It's alright. I've got you."

"...so tired Mum..." The teen mumbles into the doctor's chest.

"Okay. We'll get you home. Where are your things?"

"Blown up."

Stephen sighs and makes a mental note to ask the boy exactly what happened during his trip. "Alright. Just lean on me. Can you make it to that corner over there?"

Peter pulls away so Stephen can stand at his side and point to the people free corner and he nods, letting the sorcerer lead the way. As soon as they're out of prying eyes, Stephen opens a portal directly to Peter's room and they step through it and it closes behind them with a fizzle. The younger didn't waste any time in collapsing onto his bed, and barely managed to strip down to his boxers so Stephen could assess the damage. The bruises and cuts that littered Peter's body had Stephen's throat closing up because he had not been expecting it. There was no doubt that Peter's healing factor had already done quite a bit, and if Stephen had to base what his injuries must have looked like then on whay he saw now, he might have actually thrown up.

Dark purple bruises, burns, gashes...they were everywhere. He didn't fail to notice that Peter's breath hitched in pain every few seconds either. He had to have bruised or even broken ribs.

"What caused these?"

"Some psycho who got butt hurt about something Mister Stark did...drones...a train--"

Stephen inhales sharply. "A train?!"

"Don't get hit by a train. It hurts."

"Vishanti...Peter..." The doctor sighs. "Alright. I'll do what I can. We'll talk about this later."

"Can I sleep?" Peter asks tiredly and Stephen smiles softly as he pushes back brown hair.

"Yes. You can sleep. I apologize ahead of time if I hurt you."

Peter mumbled something along the lines of 'you couldn't hurt me' before he promptly fell asleep, but Stephen couldn't be sure. He spent the next couple of hours tending to the teens wounds, checking his leg to make sure it hadn't been broken and healed incorrectly,  and the last thing he checked were Peter's ribs. A few presses indicated cracked ribs but there wasn't much he could do for that. His healing factor would take care of it soon anyway. Stephen was able to use his magic to help alleviate some of the pain though, and the moment he did, Peter visibly relaxed into his mattress.

As soon as they was all said and done, Stephen felt his anxiety leave him in one giant woosh. Like he had exhaled and all of the anxiety he felt over the past couple of weeks went with it. Peter was home and he was safe. Definitely not unharmed but he was already on the mend.

"I see more purple than tan." Wong says as he comes in with a glass of water and an extra blanket. "I brought the blanket that helps when he has sensory overloads."

"That's actually perfect. I don't want to try and get him under the covers and risk hurting him more." Stephen takes the blanket and lays it over Peter as Wong sets the glass down on the nightstand beside Peter's bed. "He's going to wake up hungry soon."

Wong raises an eyebrow. "He looks dead to the world if you ask me."

Stephen snorts. "He has the right idea. I might just take a nap myself."

"You're getting old Strange." Wong says with a snicker and then hisses when Stephen smacks the back of his head.

Peter actually slept until dinner, and Stephen had made sure to make something that was easy to swallow so that he didn't irritate his ribs more than necessary. Stephen didn't ask him what happened, the three of them just ate in silence and Peter went back up to bed. He didn't stay there though. The teen had gotten up in the middle of the night and went into Stephen's room to get in bed next to him, and curled into the sorcerer's side before going back to sleep. Neither he nor Wong said anything. Peter was hurting and needed comfort.

They just didn't realize the extent of it until Stephen finally asked Peter what had happened in Europe. When the teen told him everything, he and Wong had actually scooted away in their chairs towards the end of the story because Stephen was furious. Not at Peter, but at Quentin Beck, and if he wasn't dead he would have actually killed him himself. Screw the pledge he took as a doctor.

They also had scooted away because his magic made his eyes glow again, and Peter had stared in awe and trepidation. Stephen was able to calm himself down though and told Peter he would feel better if he continued his therapy for a little while longer. The young Avenger didn't argue, in fact, he agreed. Peter only went into Stephen's room a couple more times when he had nightmares, and the sorcerer would only wake long enough to make sure he didn't need anything before going back to sleep. Those times, he usually woke up to Peter watching cartoons and eating cereal again. Most times Stephen would just roll over and go back to sleep for another hour, and others he would just stuff his face in a pillow and listen as he gave himself time to wake up.

His son's peace didn't last very long though. Not even two weeks after Peter returned from Europe, and he was out patrolling when Wong called him into the living room where he had the tv on.

"Stephen! You need to see this!"

The Sorcerer Supreme sighs and closes his book as he stand sand makes his way to the living room and he freezes at what he sees on the news. A video of Quentin Beck framing Spiderman for his murder, and it got worse. Beck had revealed his identity, so a picture had followed Peter's name.

"No...no...no. Shit." Stephen curses. "Where's Peter?"

"On patrol. Stephen...this is all over the city." Wong says.

The doctor digs his phone out of his pocket and calls Peter, sighing with relief when the teen answers almost immediately. "Peter-"

"It's all over the place Mom. There was a crowd by me when it came on and they started yelling so I had to hide--"

"Can you get home?"

"N-Not without being seen." Peter stammers out.

"Where are you?"

"At Mr. Delmar's. He's helping me and keeping the press away."

That was all Stephen needed to make a portal to Peter's location. He and the teen had gone there to eat once since Peter wouldn't shut up about the sandwiches, and Stephen ended up being a fan as well. Mr. Delmar was a good man, so it was no surprise he was helping Peter.

The teen steps through almost immediately, only pausing to thank the bodega owner (and bless that man for sending Peter off with some sandwiches for them and wishing him good luck), and Stephen quickly closes the portal before leading Peter to the couch and sitting down. The teen throws his mask onto the coffee table and rests his head in his hands until Stephen pulls him into a hug.

"Do I have to skip town?"

Stephen scoffs gently. "No. You're safe here."

"Peter...are you hurt?" Wong asks and the teen shakes his head.

"No. I don't think so."

Peter slowly pulls away and watches the news replay the video footage and his identity reveal over and over until Wong turns the tv off.

"What do we do?" He whispers.

"Look at me." Stephen demands softly and gently grabs his face when he does.

Peter was looking to him and Wong for help now. At the moment, they were his only allies besides Mr. Delmar, Ned, and MJ, but those three probably wouldn't be much help right now. There were also the remaining Avengers, Pepper, and Happy, but even if they said anything, people might only take it with a grain of salt right now. Peter fought beside them after all. That didn't matter right now though. Stephen and Wong were with him now.

"Whatever it takes."

[raindrenchedstories]

The happiest thing. Dietary dispute

Living with Otis was... unique. It was kind of like being on safari in the sense that, you actively had to look for him, and even then, you might not see him. It wasn’t as though he was good at hiding. Not like Richter.

He’d had no opportunity to learn how. So every so often, Bear would see his foot sticking out somewhere. Or the corner of a pant leg. He had no concept of sneaking. But he did like to try. A lot. Bear didn’t overly mind, as it made feeding him easy. Just look for a hint and stick the dish there.

However, Otis wasn’t eating. Not even a small nibble. Bear made sure to weigh the food daily, and there was always no change. He grew concerned. Even going so far as to call the shelter. They’d informed him that Otis had done this before.

They even recommend syringe feeding for the first while until he gave up and ate. It disgusted him, slightly. But how far is too far when it comes to another’s well being? He sighed, leaning on the enclosure. He tapped the ground, giving Otis at least some heads up he was there.

A squeak drew his attention to one nook in the enclosure. Now set up with dozens of easy hiding places, and human only traveling zones. The only open area was on the side of the enclosure opposite the little shelter. “Otis? Can we talk?”

“No.” Well. He tried to be nice. Bear heaved a sigh, digging around the enclosure for Otis. Receiving quite the slurry of volatile words. Eventually he found the human, dragging him from his hiding place with a sigh.

Even in Richters early days, or his most temperamental, he was never so much of a challenge. “Please understand-” He began over the protests. “That this is very important, and I need you to hear me.”

Finally Otis was plopped onto the table, already searching for an escape. “Otis, please. What was the last thing you ate?”

Otis’ eyes locked onto the giant. He took a deep breath. “The stuff you just fed me. Only a few bites sure... but I wasn’t all that hungry.”

“...Must have been some tiny bites then. They didn’t even register on the scale.” Bear folded his arms on the table, and leaned down. Making himself smaller for Otis by laying next to him. 

The small man fidgeted staring back at the enclosure longingly. Hoping to end this conversation quickly. The giant heaved a long sigh. finally deciding on how he’d confront his companion.

“Otis, I know you haven’t been eating. I don’t know why, but if it continues like this, I will have to be forceful. For your own health. Much like the shelter did.” There was a visible cringe in the human. He turned with wide, worried eyes. Bear wasn’t a fan of the look he was getting. That was a look of betrayal.

He groaned, causing the human to back pedal. “Look I’m not much happier about it. So. Can we work something out?” He stared imploringly at Otis, praying the little guy would give him anything to work with. 

Otis just seamed lost. Sitting on the table with his knees up. “So... what do you want me to do?” The human mumbled. Bear stared at him incredulously.

“What? -I mean....I need you to try and eat something.”

Otis scoffed. “Oh please. You people don’t feed us unless you want something out of us... Well. Not the ones I knew anyways.” He glared back towards the enclosure. Dashing Bears hopes of some kind of peaceful resolution.

“It’s not going to be like that here. I-” He trailed off. Some part of him realized, Otis wouldn’t believe words. Words were used to coerce and coax him into horrible situations before now. Why would that change?

He heard a tiny snort from the table. Farther away now. As Otis had decided to hide behind a salt shaker. “You what? You care more? You would never do that? Go ahead. Tell me.” There was that cockiness again.

It was no secret Otis took his time to speak. Choosing his words carefully when they spoke. That was, if he bothered to say anything at all. Normally it was cursing, and small hums. He probably could have gotten by without a translation spell. Bear huffed.

“Fine. I think I know how to solve this.” He stood. Leaving Otis on the table for a second. Then doubling back. The last time he left Otis unattended, he’d managed to get from the table into a vent. He snagged the human from the table and hurriedly stuffed him in a pocket.

The protests could be heard from the other room. As Bear refused to return Otis to his space. Eventually Otis was returned to the table. A small plate of eggs placed in front of him. A sliver of cheese and cut of vegetable also occupied the small bit of china.

“Really?” He winced, glaring up at the giant. Bear could only smile back. He gave a shrug and tucked into his own plate. If Otis refused to eat alone, he could have company.

When the human didn’t touch the food, Bear shifted tactics. Even if it stung to do so. “Otis, you wouldn’t want to waste all that lovely food I’ve made for you. Would you?” Be smiled tenderly.

Otis was visibly uncomfortable but he did start eating. Which was the most Bear could ask for. Even if it meant sinking to low means. “Where do you get the eggs?” The giant jumped a bit. Looking down towards Otis.

“I-I have a few cockatrice of my own. Why?” He watched as the man took a very hesitant bite. Then leaned away from his plate. He shook his head once, then returned to eating. It seamed like he wouldn’t be speaking again for a short amount of time.

They sat in tense silence for quite a while. Bear would occasionally spot Otis struggling with a bite of food. Sometimes he’d just set his utensils down and stare. The bit of vegetable was gone, outright devoured. Bear paused, then leaned forward.

“Otis?” He flinched, moving to take another hesitant bite. Bears hand covered his forearm, halting his eating, but spurring hot, angry words. “Is something wrong with the food?”

Otis’ breath hitched, he shook his head. “n-”

Bear cut him off. “It’s okay. I won’t get angry.”

The human paused. Folding his arms over his knees. “You...I... I have issues.” Bear almost could have laughed. Thankfully Otis continued speaking. “I just need to know the animals these come from are happy.” He scrubbed over his face.

Eventually, Bear heaved a sigh. Scooping Otis once more into his pocket. This man was nothing like Richter. Hell. Bear could have thrown just about anything on Richters plate, and the man would have eaten it. But the idea that Otis cared about his dinners origin intrigued Bear.

He exited the house and strode around to his coop. “Don’t look them in the eyes.” Opening the wire door, he entered, his feet flooded by three healthy hens. The male sat within the his own little space and glowered at them. Bear glanced down.

Otis watched the animals with wide, wondrous eyes. When it came to any kind of living creature, Bear took great care. Here was no exception. As there were dozens of roosts, and places where food was hidden. The flooring was soft grass and hard wood for the little shelter.

The small man just began laughing. Causing Bear to shoot him a confused look. “You just. You don’t have a mean bone in your entire body. Do you?”

Bear shifted. “I do. But  this is how I choose to use it. I get angry, I make something. Improve something.” He left the coop with Otis in tow. Laughing a bit. “It was the whole reason I got Richter in the first place.”

“So...You’re pissed off all the time and just... Look after things as a result?”

“Pretty much.” Otis seamed to contemplate this, then sighed, snuggling down Bears pocket and laying there. Deciding the human had eaten his fill, Bear polished off the last of breakfast and returned Otis to his enclosure.

That night, he pushed a little food in. Hoping he wouldn’t have to be forceful with this. Surprisingly, Otis not only showed himself, but scarfed the new meal back confidently. He still avoided the cheese. But that was no problem. Bear could always substitute.

Turning away, Bear was stopped by a small, purposeful clearing of the throat. He glanced down over the multitude of hiding places. Yet, Otis stood in the open. Mostly.  He still had some form of cover to hide behind. If he needed to. “Thanks. For all of this.” He gestured to the whole enclosure. Then took a shaky breath.

“I still fucking hate your entire species, but you’re at least trying to be nice. I see it.” He turned back towards his little hiding spaces, and ducked away. Poorly, as Bear could still see his entire right half, but he wouldn’t say anything about it.

*

Otis took a deep breath, and sunk down. He could feel his new keepers eyes on his position. Dread rose in his chest. Would he be snatched up again? Booming footsteps indicated otherwise.

It really did help knowing where his meals where coming from. With all that Otis had been through, he couldn’t imagine what he’d go through if he actually made anything of worth. It made eating anything difficult. He’d have a harder time if he were to eat meat. In that, he was lucky with Bear.

Did Richter ever feel the same? He pondered this before standing on shaky feet. Returning to picking at his meal. It honestly did taste good. But in the end, hunger was the best spice.

*

Otis didn’t eat with as much gusto as Richter, however, he started eating more regularly. Bear noticed a slow increase in the amount he’d take every day. All he needed was a little patience. That was fine. Bear could give that.

The stark contrast to Richter actually made things easier. Otis was Otis. He’d never be Richter, and that would be fine. He never asked for affection, in fact he loathed it. He spoke more carefully, and quietly when he needed to. And swore more readily.

Bear sighed, leaving his hand in the enclosure quite by accident. Dozing over his arm. He’d been waiting for Otis to finish eating. The man never seamed bothered by this. Instead just turning his attention away from the giant.

A small hand pressed against his thumb. Startling Bear into a rapid jerking motion, and frightening Otis. They both fell still. Staring at each other. Until at last, Otis spoke. “D-Done eating. If you wanted the plate.”

He stiffened and awkwardly trudged back to a hiding place. Well. It was progress. Better than nothing. Bear took the plate, then turned back to the enclosure. “Thank you Otis. Please remember to drink at least a little water today.”

The good news was, he did drink a little water every now and then. Not much, but enough to make the water tank bubble, every so often. It would always startle the both of them. Bringing an awkward laugh from Bear, and a grumble from Otis.

He was given an affirmative grunt as the man strode to the nearest cave, pausing outside of it. He seamed to be collecting himself, before he ducked inside, and curled up there.

[avengerofyourheart]

Leave This Town Pt 8 (Mechanic!Bucky AU)

Characters: reader, Bucky, Wanda and Pietro (mentioned)

Summary: After leaving the small town life behind, you’ve worked hard to make your dreams come true. When something unexpected brings you home, you’re brought back to the place where everything changed. Timing is everything and now there just might be a second chance with the man you left behind.

Song Inspiration: Angela by The Lumineers

Warnings: Fluff!!!! 

Word Count: 3.4k

Tags are at bottom (TAG LIST IS CLOSED I’M SORRY)

**This fic is for @bionic-buckyb ‘s 5K AU Writing Challenge**

Y/N: Oof. 

<<<Part 7   Part 8   Part 9>>> 

Leave This Town Masterlist

Full Masterlist

____________________________________________

Previously: 

You waited a few minutes until the driver’s side door opened with a squeak and Bucky slid inside. Shaking his head, water droplets sprayed in your direction making you squeal in laughter while shielding your already damp self.

Bucky threw you a wide grin, feeling a familiar warmth inside you grow despite the chill seeping in from your wet clothes. He held out a hand and you gave him the keys with the engine roaring to life seconds later.

“Ready?”

“Ready,” you replied, wondering what this unexpected night would bring.

_____________

Conversation was impossible on the ten minute drive to Bucky’s place. The loud thundering of rain pelting the truck’s roof along with Bucky’s need to concentrate on the road with very little visibility, you resigned yourself to silence. You didn’t mind though. It gave you a chance to unabashedly stare at the man you hadn’t seen in two years, and yet you instantly still felt that comfort and ease in his presence.

Bucky was right, he hadn’t changed much. His hair was a bit longer with a few more laugh lines around his eyes, but you found that they made him even more attractive. One of your first observations, though, was the lack of a ring on his finger. That still wasn’t a definitive answer to a question you had yet to voice, though.

Bucky turned off the main road and drove half a mile before he pulled in front of a small one-story house. Although he probably would have opened your door for you under normal circumstances, instead you jumped out the second the truck was in park and ran for the porch with your purse tucked under your blazer. Bucky was right behind you, quickly unlocking the door and ushering you inside.

He flicked on a light and you glanced around. The house was cozy and definitely a bachelor pad. To your left was the kitchen and dining area with mismatched chairs, to the right was the living room with a tv and a sagging couch. There was a hallway directly ahead, presumably leading to the rest of the house.

“It’s not much, but it’s home,” Bucky uttered humbly.

“It’s great,” you replied with a grin. “Very…you.”

Bucky smiled, scratching the back of his neck nervously. He toed out of his heavy work boots and you did the same, slipping off your soaking wet wedge sandals and leaving them by the door. Bucky walked further into the house, flipping on lights and attempting to tidy up a bit. He clearly wasn’t expecting company.

Picking up a shirt from the couch and kicking a stray pair of shoes into the bedroom, he then turned your way. “Make yourself comfortable. I can get towels or blankets, whatever you need to—“

As he was tidying up, you had placed your purse on the table and removed your sopping wet blazer to hang on a chair. When Bucky abruptly stopped speaking and his eyes flew to the ceiling, you looked down and noticed that your white shirt wasn’t as dry as you thought. The fabric clung to you and was now see-through, showing more of your undergarments than you would like. Quickly you retrieved your blazer and hugged it against your chest.

“Sorry! Um…I should have grabbed my suitcase from the car or something, I didn’t mean to…” you trailed off in regret.

Blushing, Bucky’s gaze remained above your head just in case, “It’s, uh…no problem. Um…do you want some dry clothes to borrow? I can throw yours in the dryer if you’d like.”

“That would be great, actually,” you replied, face still hot in embarrassment.

“Okay,” he answered, whirling around to the bedroom.  He returned with a pair of sweat pants and a long-sleeved shirt, handing them to you.

Accepting the dry clothes, you still kept one hand on the blazer against your chest. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. You can change in the bathroom down the hall on the left.”

“Actually,” you wanted to ask, but felt a bit odd about it, “would you mind if I used your shower? I’ve been traveling all day and now with the rain and mud…”

“Of course!” he spoke quickly. “Yeah, anything you need. Are you hungry? I can whip something up,” he offered, clasping his hands in front of him as if he didn’t know where to put them.

“Oh, you don’t have to, I ate at the airport. I’m not sure what time that was though…” You thought back over the day filled with a blur of travel, now feeling the emptiness of your stomach.

“It’s no trouble, I promise. I need to eat anyway and I tend to make a lot for leftovers. I’ll get that started while you shower,” he said with a smile, meeting your eye.

“That sounds great,” you replied with a smile of your own, then retreating to the bathroom.

Finally feeling warm and clean after a hot shower, you slipped on the sweats and tied them around your waist, then pulling the shirt over your head. You couldn’t stop yourself from pulling the fabric up to your nose and inhaling. The shirt smelled of laundry detergent but also something distinctly Bucky. You had noticed it in the cab of his truck but upon stepping foot in the house, you were overwhelmed by it. The scent was warm and woody with a hint of spice and engine grease. Memories flooded back to that hotel room all those years ago.

You brought yourself back to the present and tamed your damp hair the best you could before stepping out into the hallway toward the kitchen. Bucky had his back to you as he stood at the stove, stirring something. You watched for a moment as he moved about the kitchen, checking on something in the oven before he returned to stirring. Turning toward the fridge, he finally noticed you and smiled with a soft look in his eye to see you wearing his clothes again.

“Feeling better?” he asked, opening a cupboard to retrieve a colander.

“Much. Thank you. Is there anything I can do?” you offered, rolling up the shirt’s overly long sleeves.

“I think I’ve got it covered. Dinner will be ready in just a few minutes,” he stated, slipping on oven mitts and pulling a pot from the stove. He turned his face to the side as he poured it into the colander, avoiding the steam.

“Okay. I should probably call my mom and let her know what’s happening,” you said with a sigh.

“Take your time,” he grinned, tossing the pasta as it drained over the sink.

Wandering back into the living room, you retrieved your phone and dialed.

She picked up on the second ring. “Hi, sweetie, are you close by? It looks like there’s a storm on the way.”

“Hi, mom. Actually, the storm must be coming from this direction because it already hit. Hard. I couldn’t even see 10 feet in front of me, so I pulled into a small town to wait it out,” you told her, fibbing slightly about the timing of the storm.

“Oh, dear! Well, that’s rotten. Were you able to get someplace safe I hope?” you mother asked, concern in her voice.

“Yeah, I’m safe. But the rain still hasn’t let up yet and it’ll be dark soon. In fact, I might not make it until morning,” you said quietly with your gaze on the man in the kitchen, unsure how he might react to that news. He probably wouldn’t turn you away, but you didn’t want to assume.

“That’s alright, peanut. You just stay safe and wait it out. I’ve missed you and I want you here as soon as possible, but I also want you here in one piece,” she said sternly, making you smile.

“I love you, mom. I missed you, too. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Sleep tight, sweetie. I love you.”

After hanging up, you checked your email and answered a few texts before he gained your attention.

“Y/N, dinner’s ready,” he called for you, setting the last dish on the table before he stepped back and smiled in accomplishment.

Walking closer, you took in the meal before you. It looked like spaghetti marinara with fresh garlic bread and a green salad. Your stomach grumbled as the delicious smells hit your nose.

“Wow, this looks amazing,” you said as Bucky indicated for you to sit, and you obliged.

Bucky settled into a seat across from you. “Well, it’s not ‘the best Italian in town’…” he teased, referring to your first date. You met his eye and shared that memory for a moment.  

“Homemade is always better,” you declared with a smile. “I don’t think I’ve had a home-cooked meal since I canceled my Blue Apron membership.”

“Your what membership?” Bucky asked, confused as he served you some pasta.

“Oh, um…it’s kind of like a delivery service. You order the meals and they send you the right amount of ingredients with instructions so you can cook it yourself.”

“Really? Can’t you just look at a recipe and buy the groceries yourself instead of paying someone?” he cocked an eyebrow, perplexed.

You laughed, “Yeah, well, when you put it that way…It just came to a point where I wasn’t home enough to do the cooking part. Or I was holed up in a room writing and only took breaks to order takeout.”

“Wow,” he replied, handing you the bowl of sauce to serve yourself. “Sounds…intense.”

You shrugged. “It can be. But before we talk more about me, let’s talk about your comment regarding Wanda,” you raised your eyebrows, gesturing with your empty fork before diving into the heavenly-smelling pasta.

He sat back, rubbing his neck sheepishly. “Um…okay. Well, after you left Wanda was pretty cold to me for a while. Not rude, but…I don’t know. Not pleasant. Then after a few weeks, she flipped a 180 and would approach me in the grocery store to chat or dropped by the bar when she knew me and the guys would be there. It was strange. She even started bringing her car in to the shop, claiming it was making a noise. I had worked on that car recently so I knew it was fine, but I checked anyway and didn’t charge her because there wasn’t anything wrong. I don’t normally charge just for a diagnostic.”

Nodding, you twirled your pasta on the fork and took a bite, then letting out a groan of pleasure. “Ohmahgah so good,” you said with your mouth full, which was slightly impolite but Bucky just laughed.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying it. Anyway, I knew she was making up excuses when she brought her car in for a sixth check-up and still found nothing wrong. I was afraid she was going to actually damage something just so I would fix it, so I asked her what this was all really about. She finally admitted that she needed a date after getting roped into chaperoning at the high school prom. Her brother, Pietro, is the track coach there so she’s still involved with events sometimes. I just told her if she had asked straight-out, I would have agreed because I’m always willing to help out a friend. She didn’t have to go through all this nonsense. She frowned a little at my response, but in the end was grateful that I said yes.”

“So you did it? You really chaperoned the high school prom?” you asked with humor in your voice, reaching for a slice of garlic bread.

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “It wasn’t that bad, just watch the punch bowl and check the bathrooms and janitor’s closet every 15 minutes for wayward couples.” You laughed at that as he blushed slightly. “But Wanda did ask me to dance a few times when we weren’t on chaperone duty and by the end of the night, I could tell it all meant more than it was supposed to. I did emphasize the word friend when she asked, but…”

“Oh no…”

“Oh yes. It was high school all over again. I dropped her at home and said I’d see her around but she got huffy when I was clear that we wouldn’t go out again. She went off about how she thought I was ready to date again and implied that she was doing me a favor by ‘picking up the pieces’ after you left and I just…I might have snapped a little. I told her that I would never have with her that I had with you and that she needed to stop fixating on me. It wasn’t going to happen. I guess she got the message cause she got out of the truck and slammed the door, heading for home. After that, I was pretty much dead to her. Same with her brother. There are still parts of town that I can’t visit without getting a verbal lashing or icy stare thanks to whatever she told people afterward. I didn’t correct them. They can believe what they want,” he finished with a shrug.

You had set down your fork sometime during his story and listened quietly, finally responding when he finished. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I just can’t believe she still couldn’t let it go after all these years. At least it’s over,” he said in relief, taking a bite of his own pasta.

“So,” you began hesitantly, “have you dated since then?” You tried to remain casual but likely failed. Seeing most of the house, you thought you had your answer, especially after seeing only one toothbrush and no obvious signs of a female presence. Still, you had to come out and ask.

“I have,” he replied. “I mean, I did. There was an elementary school substitute teacher who was here for a school year. We met at the bar and hit it off. It wasn’t anything serious, though. She left at the end of the year and that was that,” he said with a tone of finality. “What about you? Are you seeing anyone?”

You expected this. “I was seeing someone…until recently. He’s in the industry and we met during a project I was on. He’s a really good man, but…I don’t know.” You left things vague as Bucky had, but essentially, things were cleared up for you. It may not mean anything in the end, but at least you had your answers. Most of them.

A comfortable silence hung in the air as you both ate for a few moments before Bucky opened up conversation again.

“So tell me about L.A. You mentioned ‘the industry’? As in films? What have you been up to?” he asked with genuine curiosity.

Huffing out a loud sigh, you thought back over the past two years and how to best describe the ups and downs of chasing your dreams. “Well. Once I got to L.A., I was completely overwhelmed. It’s hard to describe how large the area is that most people would consider ‘Los Angeles’. I got lost SO many times and looked at cheap apartments in scary areas, even sleeping in my car one night, but I didn’t even sleep because I was terrified. I finally found a place, though, after a week of searching. A four-bedroom apartment with 5 other people in their 20s. Most are actors or dancers with day jobs.”

Bucky looked relieved after hearing your harrowing tale that you had found a safe space. He took another bite and let you continue.

“I met with that possible agent I mentioned before, Tony Stark? He’s a no-nonsense guy but he does have a heart, so he still gave me a chance. The script I had sent him was some superhero story based on a lesser-known comic book character who I loved growing up. Stark passed on that one but liked my style and story pacing so he gave me another chance to prove myself, which is rare. I basically pitched him a few stories I had in the works. He picked one and told me to run with it and I did. I finished it after a grueling few weeks of madness and he shopped it around. Eventually, someone optioned it and everything happened so fast after that, it seems.”

“That’s amazing,” he declared, grinning at you as he reached for his water glass. “What’s the story?”

You smiled wistfully, thinking back on those months you spent completely wrapped up in this project. “It’s an action-packed thriller where an Interpol agent is hunting a rogue assassin around the world, trying to anticipate his next target and get ahead to capture him. But then there’s a twist in the middle where the agent starts to question the assassin’s motives along with his own. It was…it was pretty intense to write and I got to be on set at times for re-writes, so the entire project was amazing. Huge learning experience,” you said with a slow shake of your head.

“Wow,” Bucky breathed out in awe. “That sounds awesome. So, it’s an actual movie? It’s in theaters and everything?”

“Yep. An actual movie,” you nodded, still in disbelief yourself. “Although, it’s not in theaters anymore. I think it’s out on DVD and such.”

“I’d love to see it.”

“You should. I think you’d enjoy it. Not that I’m at all biased, by the way,” you laughed.

He chuckled along with you. “I wonder if the video store has it…maybe I could go out and check if the rain has died down.”

“Wait, are you serious?” you gaped at him. “You want to watch it tonight? And secondly, you still have a video store? It’s probably on Netflix anyway.”

He rolled his eyes with a smile. “Yes, we have a video store. We live a little behind the times and that’s not a bad thing. Also, I don’t have that Flexit thing.”

“It’s Netflix, Buck, and that’s okay, we could use my log-in,” you shrugged.

Bucky was silent then, pursing his lips before he smiled guiltily. Then it occurred to you: taking another look around house, you didn’t see one piece of the latest technology. Bucky’s tv was boxy and square with a DVD/VCR combo next to it. There was no computer in sight and you’d never even seen him with a cell phone.

You turned back toward him, eyes wide in shock. “You don’t even have internet, do you?”

He just took a bite of pasta and chewed with a close-lipped smile until he swallowed. “I’ve just never seen a need for it.”

Sitting back in your chair, you let that sink in. How anyone could live without internet in this day and age was beyond you.

“Oh, wait!” he exclaimed and stood up, having finished his plate of food. “Darcy! She’s my next door neighbor and she owns practically every movie ever made. Well, ‘only the good ones’, she claims. I’ll run over there.”

Bucky had thrown on a jacket and was out the door before you could respond, so you enjoyed your last few bites of past and carried your plate to the kitchen sink. You started to clear the table, but were unsure where to put anything so you left the bowls of food in the kitchen and found a towel to wipe down the table. By then, Bucky had returned and hung up his soaking wet jacket. He waved the DVD case triumphantly for you to see.

“Got it!” he smiled, then frowned upon seeing what you were doing. “Y/N, you do not have to clean up, I’ll take care of that. Why don’t you pop in the movie and I’ll finish in the kitchen?” he bargained, handing the DVD to you.

“I don’t mind cleaning up, but if you say so,” you shrugged, walking to the living room with the movie in hand. Looking down, you glanced at the cover to see a familiar face, making you smile. You inserted the DVD and discovered what you hoped was a universal remote on the tv before settling on the couch.

Bucky walked in a few minutes later with a bowl of fresh popcorn in his hands. “Ready to go?” he asked, settling on the couch a few inches from you.

“Yeah,” you replied, then hesitating nervously. “Bucky…is this okay? I mean, it’s getting late and there’s got to be another hotel in town, I should go…”

He interrupted you by placing a warm hand on yours. “Y/N. Just stay. Please? It’s ridiculous for you to go out again in the storm when you’re more than welcome here. I’ll sleep on the couch, I’ve done it dozens of times on accident and I won’t hear another word about it.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but he held up a hand with a stern expression, so you relented. “Okay. I’ll stay. Thank you, Bucky.”

His face lit up when you agreed, causing that sputtering spark inside you spread warmth from the inside out.  Tearing your gaze from his, you picked up the remote and pressed play.

__________

Part 9>>> 

_________________________________________________

Yowzah. A lot of catch-up but I love their comfortable conversations and that awkward moment! I had a hard time writing it because of secondhand embarrassment. haha. :D We’ve got a few more parts and some juicy stuff coming! I adore you all and appreciate any feedback you have. Love you!!

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[deathishauntedbyhumans]

Talking Things Out

After the vlog goes... a little awry, Lance is there to make sure that Keith is going to be okay. From a few nights ago.

Stranger: Hey...I just wanted you to know that video diary is gonna stay between us okay? No one else has to see it. L

You: I ruined it. K

Stranger: No you didn't, it's supposed to help us open up. You did fine. L

You: Oh, yeah. I opened up, alright. I'm sure you all were so thrilled to see me cry. K

Stranger: I told you I didn't show anyone. And I won't. I'll give it back to you. L

You: I don't want it. I don't care what you do with it. K

Stranger: Okay then we can get rid of it? Keith I'm not attacking you, calm down. L

You: [...] No. You don't have to get rid of it. It's probably... good, to have some kind of record somewhere. Of things. Sorry for getting so defensive. It's just... been a lot to think about. K

Stranger: You don't have to apologize I get it. Why do you think I've held off on doing mine so far? L Do you wanna talk about it...? You're not alone out here Keith. L

You: Nothing good will come from talking about it. K I... appreciate the offer, though, Lance. Thank you. K

Stranger: No problem man. I'm here whenever if you change your mind. And thanks for letting me be the one to help you with recording it at all. I know you could've easily gone to Shiro or something.. L

You: I trust you. K I know I get defensive, but I also know that you're good at pulling me out of that. I trust you. K

Stranger: [delay] I trust you too, even if i'm a little shit to you sometimes. I'm glad I have you to keep me grounded. L

You: We balance each other out. I think that's what we're supposed to do. K

Stranger: Wanna come down to eat with me? You weren't at dinner last night. L

You: I'm not hungry. K

Stranger: Okay so I'll just bring you food then. You need to eat especially with how much your training. L

Stranger: I sound like my mother, ugh. L

You: [...] I'll be in my room. You can bring me food if it will make you feel better. I don't know if I'll eat, though. K

Stranger: Stubborn as ever. L You sure you don't wanna come with me? L

You: I'm sure. K

Stranger: I'll be over in a few. L Are you sleeping okay...? L

You: I'm sleeping as much as I always do. K

Stranger: Something tells me that's not enough. L I don't sleep that good here either. I miss my bed back home, even the Garrison bed was better. L

You: There's too much to think about to get much real sleep. K But it's been that way for me for a while. Even before we ended up out here. K

Stranger: Don't you wish we could just take a day and rest instead of worrying about all of this. I just wish it was over already... L Do you have plans when this ends..? L

You: I... don't. Not really. K I guess I just want to survive all of this. K

Stranger: We will. We have to. I absolutely refuse to lose any of you. L Not like I wouldn't but mom would kill me if I didn't offer you a place to stay. My older siblings were about to move out before I left...she's all alone and we've got plenty of space. L

You: Are you.. really? K I guess I figured that we'd all go our separate ways back on Earth. You would want to keep in contact with us? K

Stranger: Obviously, if it were up to me we'd all live in a little community like the teletubbies. L Weird reference but I'm not about to save the entire universe and then forget you guys. You're all my family too as far as I'm concerned. L

You: Teletubbies? K I don't know what that is, Lance. K [...] You all are the closest thing I've had to family in a long time. K

Stranger: You've never heard of the Teletubbies???? L I hope you weren't hoping to forget about us all after this.. L

You: It sounds like a disease. K I don't think it's possible for me to forget any of you. I just figured that it would be something the rest of you would put behind you. K

Stranger: You won't have to, when we get back to earth I expect us all to get matching tattoos or something just to promise we won't forget. L I'm leaving the kitchen with the food, mind if I stay and eat with you..? L

You: I don't mind. K You've never struck me as the tattoo kind, you know. K

Stranger: Yeah I hate needles... L But I'd do it for you guys. L

You: That's... weirdly nice. K

Stranger: You'd look really good with a bunch of tattoos...L Like really good. L

You: I have one. K A tattoo, I mean. I have one already. K

Stranger: Wait what?? When and where and how and why? L

You: I snuck out of the Garrison one night and got it done. K There had been a bunch of shit happening and I needed something to do and it felt rebellious so... I did it. K

Stranger: How old were you? You know I'm gonna make you show it to me right? L

You: I was sixteen. K It's nothing special, really... I opened the book they had and pointed at the first thing I saw. K

Stranger: I want to see it, I'm down the hall come let me in? L

You: After everything that had happened, Keith couldn't believe he'd brought up his stupid tattoo. Most of the time he forgot it was even there, save for when he put his gloves on in the morning and then took them off at night. He'd started wearing the gloves to hide it, but they'd become as much a part of him as anything else attached to him, and the routine had become less to hide the mark and more to hide... himself, as strange as it might have sounded. He rubbed the underside of his wrist self-consciously before huffing out a breath and pushing himself to his feet. His head had been spinning ever since he'd run out of the room crying from the introspection of the video he'd made with Lance's help, and he supposed it was nice to have something else to think about for a moment. He blinked back momentary blackness from his vision when he stood; not eating was, apparently, taking its toll on him, even though he was doing his best to ignore it. Huffing another breath, this one a suppressed bitter laugh at himself, he crossed to the door and opened it for Lance, assuming he was outside of it.

Stranger: Lance was just down the hall but heard the door open, "I'm here! I'm here and I have our food." he called, turning the corner to meet the shorter paladin at his door, "Hunk made some of those space pizza roll things but I brought more too, figured you were hungry and I won't listen to anything you say that indicates otherwise." he said sternly, walking past him into his room and sitting on the red paladins bed. He wasted no time in making himself comfortable, smiling over at Keith and looking at him as if he would suddenly be able to see the tattoo somewhere, "So, it's not on your ass or something is it?" he asked with his signature smug look.

You: Rolling his eyes, Keith shut the door behind Lance and crossed back to the bed, careful not to jostle the plates stacked with food that Lance had set down in front of himself. "No, it's not on my ass," he told him, tone making it clear that he thought that was a /ridiculous/ idea. The food smelled... really good. Keith's stomach made a plaintive noise as the whole 'locking-himself-in-his-room-and-not-eating' thing caught up to him all in one go, and he was glad he was sitting, because he might have swayed on his feet if he hadn't taken a seat. He reached for one of what Lance had dubbed 'space pizza rolls' and popped it in his mouth, chewing appreciatively before he said any more. "I told you, it's really nothing special." He swallowed the soggy chewed roll down and then shifted, reaching for the glove on his left hand and slowly tugging it off. One glance at Lance's abnormally excited features and then it was on the bed next to his foot, and Keith was turning his hand palm-up and tilting it towards Lance, so that he could see the dark ink set against pale skin. He hadn't been lying; it was a simple design, a black rose with a dark green stem and black-red thorns. Despite the simplicity, he liked how it looked; he wouldn't have gone with the first thing he saw if he'd absolutely hated it. "See?"

Stranger: Lance immediately noticed the way Keith looked at the food, relaxing slightly. Keith was as stubborn as they came and he was worried he'd actually have to force him to eat at this rate even if he was hungry. He reached for a roll as Keith ate one himself, eyes still searching what little skin of his was visible in search of the tattoo, eye's widening as Keith started taking his gloves off. It'd been almost a year and a half since their Voltron journey started and he could only remember seeing him without his gloves a handful of times and never for more than a few moments. The rose he saw inked onto the other paladins wrist was absolutely stunning especially in contrast to the pale skin it sat upon. Lance reached out and grabbed his hand, gently rubbing the pad of his thumb along the clean lines of the tattoo, it was gorgeous and made the already attractive Keith that much hotter. Lance felt his cheeks heat up slightly at the thought and suppressed it for another day, "Wow...that's amazing. Did it hurt..?" he asked still holding his wrist and admiring the delicate strokes of color.

You: Keith felt his own face heat as Lance made a grab for his hand, but he didn't pull away. He allowed Lance to touch, to run cool fingers along his wrist, to trace over the lines that Keith had spent countless hours alone after curfew memorising, because he was so fucking proud of himself for doing something he knew the admin at the Garrison would hate. Fuck the Garrison. "Thanks," he replied, a tiny smile managing to find its way onto his face. It was genuine, that was for sure, and it felt... strange, resting there. He hadn't smiled genuinely in at least the past forty-eight hours, if not longer. "I mean... I guess it hurt? But I was so focused on just getting it /done/ that I barely even felt it," he admitted, reaching with his free hand to snag another roll and pop it in his mouth. Now that he'd started eating, he was ten times more aware of his ensuing hunger, courtesy and conversation be damned.

Stranger disconnected... 

[starboyjxmin]

Equinox (Hoseok x Reader) Pt. 2

Synopsis: There was a boy who always sat at corner of my complex. Most of the tenants wanted him death, but maybe that's what it took to let them see just how beautiful and human he was.

Warnings: Fluff, A Little Bit of Angst

Genre: Romance

Word Count: 2401

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

(A.N.: This is written in first person which is your pov, I hope you guys like it! Also, this fic was written with POC in mind, mostly Hispanic, but I did put in that the OC is Mexican but feel free to disregard this or change it to your ethnicity :)

Freak was nowhere near what I had imagine from underneath.

"I cut myself a bit but I cleaned your bathroom thoroughly." He had a visible red nick on the tip of his soft chin.

"That's okay," I breathed as I took in who was in front of me. Freak was... Every bit more human than anyone here in this flat complex.

His almond, half moon eyes were dark brown. His skin complexity was almost golden like with a tint of a sunrise shade but the grey tone to it made him appear almost like Icarus and the Sun’s son in some way. It seemed illogical but it just worked on him. Freak had even cut his hair, ridding it of the dreadlocks. It was shaggy and dark coloured. I made a mental note of taking him to my hair stylist tomorrow to clean him up more properly. He had managed to do a clean, close shave. Was he attractive? Very. Seeing this new man standing in front of me wearing the father of my child's clothes pestered but at the moment, I was more trapped in his almond eyes.

He shift uncomfortably.

"So, I'm sorry for using your toothbrush." Freak rubbed the back of neck cautiously.

"No, it's fine."  My eyes adverted from his. I quickly cleared my throat as I reached for the two flutes, handing him one.

"What's this for?"

"To celebrate another day!"

"You're not going to actually drink that right?" He gestured towards my drink by giving his head a quick tug towards it.

"No, it's just for show." Freak raised an eyebrow, clearly unsatisfied with my answer. I pointed to where he would sit for our dinner to which of course, he politely said a thanks and moved, standing behind the chair.

"This looks great." I knew he was probably being polite since my cooking wasn't the best. Once I started living here, my food was either microwaved heated or restaurant bought. Cooking was something I rarely ever did given that I was born with a silver spoon between my lips the second I left my mother's womb.

"Thank you," I was going to pull my seat out but was quickly interrupted by Freak who somehow made it behind my chair, pulling it back for me. "Thank you." Once again I repeated as I sat down, with him pushing the seat in along with me. "So now can I know your name? It's only fair since we are having dinner together." Freak quickly retreated to his spot at the table and sat down with his eyes locked with the plate before him with a blank face.

"Hoseok."

"Hoseok?" He nodded curtly. Well, I guess that would explain the faint Seoul accent in his voice. I had spoken to many people from Seoul given that my best friend was a huge fashion icon, Seoul being the biggest fashion city point it was natural that I associated with them. "Are you Korean?" He held the middle fork in his right hand, gently pressing it into the grilled, creamed coloured breast.

"Yes." I decided to eat so he didn't feel awkward. After a bite, deciding it was actually decent, I asked him another question.

"Seoul?" This caused Fr-Hoseok to look up at me swiftly before returning his eyes to his plate.

"No actually," Hoseok took some of the chicken in his mouth, quickly chewed it before swallowing. "I'm from Gwangju."

"Oh, I haven't heard of that state. My best friend use to do work in Seoul so I assumed, pardon me." I was cut off by my phone's brisk vibrations. A quick glance at it told me it was my mom. "I'll be right back, I'm sorry." Annoyed, I stood up, and walked to my bedroom with my phone already on my ear. "Hi mom."

"MIJA! Ah, thank god! You will never believe who is here!" My eyes rolled back into my skull with deep anger. "Aldo!" The normal rhythm of my heart quickly stopped. "Aren't you excited! He asked your father for your pretty, delicate hand!" God, please no. "(Y/N)?"

"Mamá, no." The door was pretty open but I didn't care if Hoseok heard. "He left me before, I'm very capable of getting along well without a man, much less that puto of a guy."

"(Y/N)!" My mom's screeched voice made my eardrum throb but I wouldn’t have it.

"Tell pappí I said no. This isn't for discussion." I didn't bother to heard my mother anymore causing me to hang up the call. "God.." My body felt heavy, extremely. Maybe it was the stress that my mom has inflicted upon me by informing me of that dickhole.

"Are you okay?" Frea-Hoseok called from the dining room. A deep sigh simply escaped my lips. There was nothing I could say to this man. I was stupid. I let some stranger in. What if he would do something to me? No, I quickly shook the silly thoughts from my head. Momma had me on the edge, that was all.

I breathed out, not realizing I had held precious oxygen in my lungs, not letting out any carbon to exchange it for new air. "All is well, dear." My feet brought me back to the dining room, Hoseok was standing with a very concerned look striking his pretty, coffee eyes. "Let's just continue to eat." I sat down, across from him, and immediately stabbed my fork into the tender, cube cut breast.

He cleared his throat, looking at my lucid, annoyed face before sitting down and turning back to the food. We ate in silence with the occasional sounds of chewing, and sips from drinking. (The previous white wine in my flute had been replaced with Canada Dry by Hoseok, I assumed, when I had left to speak to my mother, if it were appropriately called speaking.)

"I really would like to thank you for what you have done for me, it really means a lot." The Seoul, deep, rich accent became a new lullaby to me, causing my eyes to flutter open a little slower.

"You're welcome." I smiled at him, finally looking up and into his dark eyes. This caused Hoseok to smile back, leaving me to wonder how was it that such a gracious man ended up in England, of all places, and homeless as well.

We continued to eat and after a while of silence that was occasionally interrupted from sips and eating sounds, Hoseok finally spoke up. 

“You seem very angry.” His accent was beyond beautiful to me, far more than a British accent.

“I’m okay, babe.” I smiled at the sun-kissed boy in front of me who seemed genuinely worried for me.  But Hoseok didn’t say anything to further anger me.

After a while, he got up and thanked me for the food and picked up his plate as well as the flute. I was about to protest but he smiled.

“I’m going to wash the dishes, do you want me to pick up yours as well?” 

“Um.., It’s okay Hoseok.” I stood up, placing my flute on the plate like he did earlier. “I have someone come and clean this place. I don’t really enjoy it but the help came with the place.” He nodded, studying the creamy residue on his plate left from the pasta.

“I see.” His Seoul accent cut through the sudden nervousness aura he held. 

“You can sleep in my room, I’ll sleep in my old room.” His beautiful eyes fluttered to my eyes and I could swear he was touching me by the simple look of worry he gave me.

“No.. No, it’s okay.” His smile however, didn’t reach his almond eyes. 

“What’s wrong, Hoseok?” He shift uncomfortably. 

“Look, you seem very off. You picked up a filthy homeless from the street, brought him into your home, you’re pregnant not to mention, and this is just dangerous. Are you suicidal?” Hoseok’s face held a certain hint of worry. 

My hand automatically reached out to him. 

“The world is an unjust whatnot. I always hear people talk about how to be the good in the world is what will change it and although it might not be all true, this will make someone’s world better and good.” He let a smirk out before carefully touching my fingertips and bouncing them lightly on his rather large hand.

“Goodnight, (Y/N)-ah.” 

“Wait, so you just decided to pick up some hobo from the street?” Elizabeth’s American accent always cut harshly through the very smooth atmosphere of the cosmetic dentist’s office. She was actually a medical biller who worked the front desk and very polite usually especially with me since we made each other feel at home which eased the homesickness we both would sometimes suffer. 

“No, well, he lived in front of my flat building. I was in a community meeting with the rest of the tenants and God, you should heard some of the things they were saying about the lad!”

“’Lad’.” She giggled. I quickly rolled my eyes at her indication of my profound British slang.

“They wanted to kill him.” Elizabeth’s blue eyes widen. “I had to leave the fucking meeting. It was horrid. Anyways, with the pregnancy I eat a lot. I get a call from these homeless help place I assume because they asked if I knew if such person had crossed paths with me to which I said yes.”

“Mhm.” 

“Long story, I went outside and brought him into my home and that’s that.” 

“For a wealthy girl, you speak with such simplicity.” Dr. Winston had appeared behind Elizabeth, flashing me a bright, pearl smile. 

“Your friend is ready. He is still in the room looking at his new teeth though.” He laughed as he set down the chart in his soft looking hands, next to Elizabeth. “Remember to update this into the digital logs.” She simply nodded, looking right at me with unsaid words that seemed to scream, “He’s so hot!” 

“May I go into the room to greet him or must I wait here for him to get out?” Dr. Winston was looking at some papers that a dental assistant had given him prior to speaking to me about my Hoseok. 

“I don’t see why not. Could you take her, Miss Tom?” 

“Of course,” The smitten look on Elizabeth was too bright as she got up from her chair and walked to the other side of the reception desk and towards me.

“Could you be any less obvious?” I whispered as she ushered me quite hastily to the corridor of doors with patients inside. 

“Am I actually obvious?” The colourful whispers between began to illuminate the pale, cream walls of the hall as we make small talk about her crush on the dentist. 

“How many room are in this office?” Elizabeth smiled as she stopped us at the one where I presumed Hoseok was in.

“37!” I cringed at the odd number as she opened the door. 

The natural lighting of the winter sun pooled into the very sterile looking room which contained a small flat screen tv against the wall. Hoseok turned around with a hand mirror tightly clasped in his hands. He quickly flashed me wonderful smile. 

“Wow! Your teeth!” He shyly looked down with the mirror now by his side. 

“I’ll leave you two alone. Also, you can just leave, I have everything already at my desk for his next appointment which is in 6 months just so we can check up on him and his oral health.” Elizabeth smiled at Hoseok who was now placing he hand mirror on the counter. She quickly left, not giving me a second look as she closed the door behind her. 

“Do you like them?” He timidly looked up as he nodded. “I’m glad, your teeth finally as bright as you are.” This caught him off guard.

“Bright?” The Seoul accent made the winter light warm as if we were currently discussing affairs with pastel coloured mochas between us. 

“Yes, you have thing about you. I can’t quite explain it. But your hair looks good and your teeth are beautiful. How about we get you some clothes now?” 

“Your maternalness is coming out.” I opened the door as I readjusted my purse on my shoulder.

“That isn’t a word, Hoseok.” He stepped out with me by his side. 

“You are quite impossible, Jung Hoseok.” My rather sunshine friend gave me a warning look from underneath his precious eyelashes and dark fringe. 

“So will he be talking the jacket as well?”

“N-!”

“Yes!” I reached above his head and passed the floral jacket with hues of blue to the employee who was now holding far too many items of clothes. 

“What about the shoes?” I quickly looked down at the shoes he had on. They were plain but the embroidered roses on the sides made them beautiful. He was still looking up at me. 

“Yes,” I looked down at him and gave him a tender smile. 

“Nice view you have there, lad.” A tall, beefy man commented as he passed up us with a smirk at Hoseok and a wink thrown at me. Hoseok cleared his throat and looked down at his shoes. He was seated in a french country, beige loveseat with me standing on it with my knees instead of my feet, and leaning over his head. It was’t that my position was inappropriate but from the look that the stranger was giving me, he thought it otherwise. 

“(Y/N),” Hoseok gently placed his hands on my hips and sat me down next to him. “We should pay now.” 

The employee smiled at us as I got off the couch and mentioned her to come close. 

“Could you please ring our stuff up?” 

“Of course!” Her cloy smile sent Hoseok into a frenzy of squirms.

“Are you alright?” He quickly stopped and looked at me with wide eyes.

“I’m allergic to the fake.”

“Este chamako.” My hands automatically reached for his face to pull at his pointed like sides of his new fringe like hairstyle, the total rage in Korea as he called it, but he quickly grabbed them and pulled them into his chest.

“Aein, I suggest we go.” 

“A donde?” He cocked his head to the side. “Where, Aein?” He rolled his eyes before pulling me even closer into him.

“Down the rabbithole.” 

(A.N. Sorry this is crappy, I tried but my writer’s block isnt fully cure. I promise to do better!)

[yoyoplisetsky]

hey cary. CARY. fic me with yuuri getting in a plane crash on his way back from the Rostlecom Cup. make Vic Suffer.

Viktor was sitting in the airport with Makkachin, because he’dwanted to be there early to make sure he was right on time for Yuuri, when thenotification lit up his phone and he looked down. His ears began to ring and hefelt faint as the phone slipped out of his hand. The shattering noise of ithitting the ground was sharp and caused him to let out a pained sob. It had tobe lying, the phone had to be wrong. He couldn't get his hands to stop shakinglong enough to pick it back up, to look again.

If he looked again, it might be true.

He didn’t know how long he sat without thought, withoutbreathing, before he felt Makkachin pawing at his leg and he looked down at hisdog, who was looking up at him. Viktor took in a few deep breaths, sinking downto tangle his fingers into her fur, calming himself down before he could eventhink about picking up his phone.

The screen was shattered, but still had visibility. Cracksscattered across the surface, distorting the text, but not making it invisible.He was about to read it again when his phone lit up with a phone call – from theKatsuki house, Mari probably. He’d gotten along well with all of the Katsukis,but Mari spoke the best English, and so seemed most likely to be calling him.

He answered with shaky fingers, unable to speak. “Have youheard anything yet, Vicchan? Dad’s game was interrupted with the news, they saythey don’t know about survivors yet, but that it doesn’t look good and – “ Shewas still talking, but the ringing returned to his ears, pressing his face intoMakkachin’s fur with a soft sob, pulling tight against her hair. Makkachin seemedto know what he needed, and Viktor was happy for it.

Mari seemed to notice after a minute what was happening, andquieted. After another moment, she said, “Vicchan, do you want us to come getyou?”

Viktor clung to his phone, the sharp broken glass cuttinginto his cheek, but he could barely tell. His senses felt dulled, he couldn’tbreathe properly. After another moment of silence, Viktor whispered, “Please. I– at least come stay with me? Until he gets here?”

Mari said nothing, and Viktor knew why. He knew it wasbecause the likelihood of Yuuri making it to the airport (in one piece, alive) were slim to none, and anothersob was choked out of his mouth. Her voice, one he’d never before thought of assoft and comforting, came through the speaker, “I’ll be there as soon as I can,Vicchan. Just stay with Makkachin. Get away from other people if you can. Maybego out front? Keep breathing, Viktor.” It dawned on Viktor that this must bewhat she did when Yuuri had panic attacks.

“The flight from Sheremetyevo Airport in Moscow to Fukoka has gonedown,” The loudspeaker was saying, and Viktor wished the ringing wouldreturn. “We have no word yet on thepassengers or crew, but it is reported that an engine went out and couldn’t berecovered, and the plane crash landed. As we get more information on theflight, it will be reported. For now – “ They began to talk about otherdelays, but Viktor didn’t bother to listen, his heart feeling numb. He just hadto remember to breathe.

“Vicchan? You have to get outside,”Mari repeated, clearly able to hear the loudspeaker. Maybe not the exact words,but she had to know what they were saying. What else would they be saying?

Viktor nodded numbly, not even thinking that she couldn’thear that movement, standing up and calling Makkachin to follow him, stumblingthrough the airport out the door, where he took a deep gulp of air outside,sinking down onto the ground again and pulling Makkachin against him. No onegave him weird looks, if anything, it was pity.

He didn’t need pity.He need Yuuri.

Mari was talking on the phone still, but Viktor wasn’tlistening any more, and eventually, he softly said, “I’m going to hang up so Ican see if he calls.”

She was silent again, and Viktor hated that silence so much.“Okay. I’ll be there in a few minutes, Vicchan. Stay safe.”

He hung up and looked down at thephone, but he had no notifications from Yuuri. He had no notifications from anyone, a blank darkness that he didn’tlike. He turned the phone on sound, as loud as he could make it, even though heusually kept it quiet so it wouldn’t disturb his thoughts. He needed to know if his phone rang.

Mari got there before it couldring again, and Viktor looked up at her miserably as she sat down beside himimmediately, not saying a word. She went inside off and on, listening to anynew news they had, and getting him some food, trying to force him to eat it (hewas glad that she knew better than to get him a pork cutlet bowl, even if thatseemed like the perfect comfort food. Not when it had so much… other stuff tiedto it). She seemed well enough appeased when he ate a few bites, and just satwith him, resting her head on his shoulder as they both watched his phone fornotifications.

It was three hours into their silencethat she looked down at her own phone tiredly. “They say they probably won’t beable to identify survivors and victims until later tomorrow, Vicchan. We shouldprobably just go back to the onsen and wait for news. It’s no use sitting here,”She whispered, and Viktor looked down at his own phone one more time beforenodding.

“As soon as we hear something…” Hetrailed off, not even knowing what he could say.

“Viktor, I’m not saying you have tosleep or anything, because I know you won’t. I’m saying we should go somewherewhere you can be alone with Makkachin, and actually breathe. You’re too anxioushere.” Mari offered a hand to help him up, and Viktor took it, thankful thatYuuri had such good people in his life that were so willing to help him. “If wehear anything, if he’s going to be here, we’ll be the first people back,Viktor. I promise.” Mari said again, and that calmed Viktor a little more asthey walked back out to go back to the onsen.

He didn’t sleep that night, shewas right. It was constantly looking at his phone for any indication of Yuuribeing alive, being there for him. It was deleting notification afternotification of worried texts from friends and other skaters, wondering if heknew anything about Yuuri that they didn’t yet. He wished he could tell themsomething, but he didn’t want to talk when he was on the same page as the restof them.

He just wanted to be isolated.

Well, isolated with the Katsukis. They’dlet him use Yuuri’s room, and had been giving him space when he needed it, butnone of them were sleeping either. A few hours back from the airport (after he’dsettled down a little more, and didn’t need silence with Makkachin to be ableto even breathe), he’d slowly walked his way downstairs, sitting among them asthey stared anxiously at the television, as information slowly came out aboutthe crash.

Viktor fell asleep for a shortperiod, his head pillowed against Mari’s shoulder, and his hands tangled inMakkachin’s fur. None of the Katsukis woke him, and he’d be angry, but he knewthat they’d wake him if anything new happened. He needed to rest, deep down, heknew that, and he knew that he was safe with the Katsukis. His body clearlyknew that better than him, since it knocked him out there.

When he woke up, Toshiya andHiroko were gone from the room, and he blinked his eyes open sleepily, lookingfor them. “Where…?” He gestured beside them, where they’d been sitting, andMari looked down at him again, pausing from where she’d been stroking his hair(Viktor hadn’t noticed, but he appreciated it. Mari knew how to treat someoneanxious and afraid, and he was grateful to her for it).

“They went to go make some dinner.Mom likes to cook when she’s worried about things, and Dad didn’t want her tobe alone. And they’re worried because I told them you didn’t eat much at theairport, Vicchan,” She explained, and Viktor felt his heart pounding a littlebit (the first time he’d recognized his heart since he heard the news asanything but empty) from the love the Katsukis were showing him.

Toshiya and Hiroko came back withthe food, and Viktor was not at all surprised to see that they’d also strayedfrom Yuuri’s favorite. He blankly stared at the food offered to him, and itreally was delicious, everything that the Katsukis made was delicious, but itstill made him sick to eat it. He finished the bowl only because he knew thatthe Katsukis were worried about him, and then stared back at the television, wrappinghis arms around Makkachin and…. Waiting. Because waiting was the only thing hecould do now.

The news didn’t come until nearly twenty-fourhours after the crash, but Viktor was still sitting in the same spot on thefloor (the Katsukis had chosen not to open for anyone but the guests alreadystaying that day), exhausted, but still refusing to sleep. The Katsuki’s phonebegan to ring, and Hiroko and Toshiya immediately rushed into the kitchen, Marifollowing after them.

Viktor stayed still where he was,trying to listen for anything, but he just heard a string of polite Japanese,and figured it must be a customer. He held onto Makkachin, his stomach twistingin knots as he waited for them to come back out.

Mari came out alone, and Viktorlooked up at her, but… the look on her face said everything.

He barely processed the televisionbehind them, the news reporter saying, “Figureskater Katsuki Yuuri, recently having placed as a participant in this year’sGrand Prix Final was among the victims of the wreck.” He was too busygetting to his feet, his whole body shaking with tears he hadn’t even noticedfalling. His phone was ringing (Yurio, he could see, was the first to call him,touching, but he still couldn’t answer), but he left it on the floor as he fledto Yuuri’s room, Makkachin dashing after him.

He collapsed onto Yuuri’s bed,sobbing uncontrollably, unsure what his emotions even were, and he was justglad that Makkachin climbed up with him, whining and curling into his side.

Viktor cried himself to sleep, theemotions of the last day getting to him now that he had resolution. He wokewith Makkachin still pressed up against him, but the bedside table litteredwith things that weren’t there before.

Someone (one of the Katsukis) hadcome in and brought him pain killers, a glass of water, some food he didn’trecognize, and his cellphone while he’d been asleep, and Viktor almost startedcrying again at how kind they were to him. Their son and brother had just died,but they had still had the kindness in their hearts to bring him what he wouldneed after his complete breakdown.

Viktor took the painkillers beforehe even considered looking at his phone, picking at the food in misery.

It wasn’t just that Yuuri haddied. Yuuri dying, of course, ruined Viktor. Viktor was in love with him,finally had someone important in his life, to hold onto and to take care of.But it wasn’t just that.

He was alone again.

He opened his phone, not lookingat the condolence texts from his friends, and instead turning to Instagram,trying to find something else to distract him. It didn’t help. Post after post,it was all memories of Yuuri.

Yuuri and Phichit in Detroit, hischeeks flushed red with alcohol (like when they’d first met), and a grin on hisface. Yuuri and Chris in Juniors, arms around each other as they held up theirrespective medals, clearly proud of each other. Yuuri and Yurio, even, apicture from when Yurio couldn’t have been any older than ten, his face lit upin a wide missing-toothed grin as he stood at Yuuri’s side. The official statementfrom the ISU, a beautiful picture of Yuuri in the middle of his quad flip, anda statement about how they’d be missing him.

Viktor started to sob again,holding his phone close to his chest, feeling the weight of so many suppressed emotionscrushing him into Yuuri’s desk, unable to stop his crying. He moved long enoughto remember Makkachin – he had to remember Makkachin. Mechanically, he rose tohis feet, leading her outside for the bathroom, and then making sure that shegot food and water, and anything else that she’d need. Once she was fine,Viktor went back up to Yuuri’s room, closing the door behind him.

He sat at Yuuri’s desk, finallypicking his phone up again. He had dozens of missed texts, but he started withYurio. He didn’t even stop to think about what time it would be in Russia rightnow, instead immediately dialing his number and waiting for the phone to bepicked up.

“Vitya?” Yuri sounded younger thanViktor remembered him for a long time when he finally picked up, and he had toswallow to keep from crying again. “Is it true, about Yuuri?” He asked, nothingbehind the words except innocent worry.

“It is,” Viktor whispered, tearsfalling from his eyes again. “Yura, they called the Katsukis, it’s true. He’s…”Viktor didn’t finish the sentence, but he didn’t have to, because he heard asniffle on the other end of the phone, and he swallowed to keep from making anynoise himself.

“That’s not fair,” Yuri finally spoke again, and Viktor could imagine himclenching his hands into fists, banging them on a table, punching a wall. Anyof those things that Viktor’s emotions made him too weak to do. “It’s stupid, he’s finally doing well, and the world goes and shits onhis fucking life and kills him andthat’s stupid.” Yuri was shouting,and Viktor processed it was four a.m. there, and Yuri had immediately pickedup. He’d probably wake Yakov and Lily with his screaming, but Viktor wouldn’tstop him.

“I know.” It was all Viktor couldthink to say, because he couldn’t soothe Yuri, not when his own life had gottenso much worse with Yuuri gone from it.

“Are you coming back home?” Yuriasked, sounding, for once, like the child he was, and it tore at Viktor’s heartthat he couldn’t immediately say yes.

“I don’t know yet,” He whispered,and he heard a shattered sob through the phone.

“You fucking asshole! I need youhere, and you can’t even come home again!” Yuri screamed into the phone before hanging up, and Viktor realized thathe was sobbing again, still holding the phone to his ear as he pressed his headagainst Yuuri’s desk, his shoulders shaking.

“Vicchan?” Mari whispered, and Viktorlifted his heavy head to look up at her. She was standing in Yuuri’s doorway, aconcerned look on her face. “Mom and Dad want to know if you need anythingelse. They could hear you were awake,” She said, and Viktor shook his head,looking back down at his phone, trying to decide what to do.

It was a series of pictures hefinally decided to remember Yuuri by (on Instagram, it was so much more he’dremember Yuuri by in general) – a shot of him, the first time that he wore theEros costume, awkward in it still, but smiling brightly at Viktor. A picture ofhim with the triplets, all three of them in his lap, reading a story together.The best shot he could find of China, where it was still unclear what hadhappened, but they were staring into each other’s eyes, blind to the rest ofthe world. A picture of them at the beach, Makkachin ahead of them as theystopped to kiss, arms around each other’s necks. Finally, he posted a picturefrom the banquet, of Yuuri’s arms around his neck, and more love in Viktor’seyes that up until that moment he’d thought he’d ever be capable of.

The day I met him, the caption read, I knew that I didn’t want to keep skating, because I wanted somethingnew. I wanted to be happy again. Katsuki Yuuri made me happy, and without him,I don’t know how to handle myself any more. I’ve been alone for many years, sothe feeling of loneliness is nothing new. No one but my coach and his ex-wife,or my fellow skaters to bring me even the slightest bit of comfort. It’s adifferent emptiness, being alone after Yuuri.

Yuuri wasn’t the only one who found something new, something to holdonto. I’ve never had that before, never had someone who I wanted to keep in mylife, who I wanted to take care of, and to take care of me. I’ve never hadsomeone hold me through the nights or reassure me – only the other way around.Our relationship was far from perfect, but it let me know how much I wasmissing.

And I think that Yuuri put it as adequately as he could in his pressconference (as long as his family’s translations did him justice): It was love.I loved Yuuri Katsuki, and my life has changed because of him.

I’ll hopefully have more to say later in the week, but right now I’mnumb in a way I’ve never before felt or understood. I’ve never expressed myemotions, because it’s better not to, with the media presence that I’ve had.

I’ve been Viktor Nikiforov – an untouchable playboy with the world’scutest dog. I’ve been Viktor Nikiforov – living legend of Russia. I’ve beenViktor Nikiforov – the figure skater everyone wishes to be.

I was Viktor Nikiforov – Katsuki Yuuri’s coach when I finally realizedwho I wanted to be. He was taken from us too soon.

I wish I could have been Viktor Nikforov – Katsuki Yuuri’s everything.

Please never stop remembering him.

Viktor closed his phone afterthat, even though the notifications immediately began to pour in, setting itonto Yuuri’s bed and leading Makkachin downstairs, where the Katsukis wererunning their business still, like nothing had happened. He walked into thekitchen, where Hiroko immediately greeted him with a wide grin and put him to work.

And that’s the way he did it for afew days, working with the Katsukis, falling into a new routine, different fromanything that he’d done before. Every night, he ate dinner with them, whilethey tried not to mention Yuuri. He could see the pain in their eyes, but theytried not to mention it, tried to focus on the positive.

Mari helped teach him someJapanese, at least enough that he could interact with more of the locals andtheir customers, and Yuuko gave him a key to Ice Castle, only after he promisedthat he wouldn’t practice so hard that he’d get himself hurt.

Hasetsu treated him as one oftheir own, and no one showed him any pity, only love. He knew that they didn’tall know who he was exactly for Yuuri, but after China, Yuuri and he hadn’ttried to hide much, and so many of them had known Yuuri well enough that they’dhave noticed that. They still treated him no differently than anyone else.There were no constant apologies or condolences, they tried to treat it as lifeas normal.

It had been a week when heapproached Hiroko and Toshiya on his own, after dinner, nervous with thequestion that he wanted to ask.

“Vicchan! You’re down later thanusual,” Hiroko said happily, her English also improving (a request from the twoof them when Viktor stayed for longer than he’d expected, so that they couldcommunicate better without Mari. They already knew a lot because of theirbusiness, but more definitely helped when Viktor came in knowing so little Japanese).

“I have a request,” Viktor saidnervously, though a part of him deep down knew that he shouldn’t. He knew thatthe Katsukis wanted anything for him that he wanted for himself. “I… I want tostay here?” He whispered, and Hiroko lit up.

“Of course you can! You can haveYuuri’s room for as long as you need it, Vicchan, we’d never make you leaveuntil you’re ready – “

Viktor had to cut her off, “I wantto stay here forever.”

Both of Yuuri’s parents weresilent before Hiroko wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight, andletting Viktor fall apart in her arms again, holding onto her. “Vicchan, you’refamily now, with or without Yuuri. No one would make you leave.”

He cried in her arms as a thankyou, unable to keep his emotions under control, a weird sensation for him thatHasetsu brought out. Ever since he’d come to Hasetsu, he’d been free.

“Can you make pork cutlet bowlstonight?” He whispered, a request for something that he hadn’t had since thecrash. Hiroko had offered once, and Viktor had snapped at her, horrified by thefact that it brought tears to her eyes. Since then, all of the Katsukis hadavoided mentioning the food to Viktor, or even really to each other. Hirokoeven debated taking it off of the menu.

“Are you sure?” Hiroko was almostnervous, and Viktor felt awful that he’d inspired that in her, and he noddedhis head. She hugged him tighter against him. “He loved you so much,” Shewhispered, and he shockingly felt himself… smile. It wasn’t the first smilesince Yuuri had died, that was an irrational thought with how much love Hasetsuwas giving him. But it was the firs time he realized that he might be able todo it more often again, that he wasn’t stuck in a miserable state of beingalone.

He posted to Instagram that night,a picture of him with the Katsuki family having dinner – a sight that’s becomenormal in his life. What was abnormal was the food that they were sharing, notthat anyone else would know. The caption was what would matter to the rest ofthe world.

I’m returning to skating next season. It’s what he would have wanted,and what all of Hasetsu would have wanted. I’ve asked his former coach, Minako,to work with me for now, because I don’t want to leave Hasetsu. I love St.Petersburg, and the people there, but Hasetsu has treated me as one of theirown, and been perfect to me after what has happened.

I’ve been staying with the Katsukis, and they’ve accepted me as theirown, as what I would have been if Yuuri was still with us. It’s been a roughfew weeks, but I don’t know if I would have survived as well as I did withoutHasetsu.

So, I’m returning to skating, at least for another season. It will be aseason to show my love – for Yuuri, for Hasetsu, for everything that has comebefore me. Skating has always been an emotional sport, but that fell away fromme in recent seasons, and I think that I finally have a reason to give it whatit deserves again.

It won’t fill the loneliness I have without Yuuri – nothing will takehis place. But it’s a good first step, to entering a life where hopefullythings make more sense for me. I love it in Hasetsu, and I think I’ll be happyhere. Good luck to all the skaters who have to go up against me again next year;)

What Yuuri gave me was two things, two irreplaceable ‘l’ words that Idon’t know if I’ll find again, but I always search for: Life and Love.

#ForYuuri #IStillLoveHim #RememberHimForever

He posted, and then he picked uphis chopsticks, and dug into his pork cutlet bowl.

[marulikestea]

Indochina Trip - Bangkok, Thailand

Last November of 2015 (Yes, two friggin years ago, huhu), my friends and I embarked on an 8-day journey to Indochina. Though we say Indochina, we actually just visited three countries: mainly Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam. The reason behind this trip, aside from the fact there was a ticket promo from Cebu Pacific Airlines, was because Arlyn and I wanted to experience travelling abroad for the first time. As for me, I’ve always dreamed of going to Cambodia due to their ancient ruins, so having that country as part of our destination was definitely a bonus, as well as an incentive.

Originally, there were five of us who were supposed to be going, but unfortunately, the tickets got sold fast so Denise was only able took three.

So it ended up with only us females. :<  

For the trip planning, we equally divided the task of coming up with an itinerary, wherein each of us had an assigned country to deal with. Mine was Cambodia (naturally), Denise was Thailand, and Vietnam for Arlyn. Since Arlyn and I had no prior experience traveling outside the country, Denise took it upon herself to book our hotels for each country. Aww, thanks so much mommy Denise~ <3

Anyway, since blogging all 3 countries in one go would be a total chore, I decided to discuss each nation separately in the following posts. So for this one, it will only focus on our stay in Thailand adventure. Be warned though, there will be major photodump ahead.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. 

FLIGHT TO THAILAND

Our flight departure was in the evening (9:35pm) but Arlyn and I got to the airport several hours earlier (as commonly practiced). Denise was the last to arrive, lol. 

We had our dinner at Tapa King before going to the waiting area of the terminal.

Took a photo of us at the airport with my old crappy samsung galaxy 1 cellphone. I was black-haired back then. ;P

Our flight got delayed a bit due to various reasons, but we were able to depart eventually. After a few hours in transit, we finally arrived at Bangkok, Thailand.

My flight ticket. :3

Upon our touchdown, we took an airport taxi (200 THB) to drive us to our hotel destination. Since it was already past midnight, there was no traffic at all. So we were able to have a smooth ride while marveling at the city’s night lights.

I must admit, even from the airplane window view during landing, Thailand’s night lights differ so much from Philippines; having more of a white-ish organized glow compared to our yellowish scattered embers. Nevertheless it gave me this alienated but excited sort-of feeling; an emotion that served as further proof that I was no longer home.   

BANGKOK CITY HOTEL

After our long ride from the airport, we finally arrived at Bangkok City hotel. Transaction went rather smoothly, since their staff were well-versed in the English language. So after verifying our reservation, we then checked-in to our room, dumped our luggage on our individually-claimed space and slept like a log for a few hours before our call time at 6:00 am. 

When 6:00 am came, we got ourselves ready for the hotel’s breakfast buffet.

According to Denise, this hotel has been suggested by one of her acquaintances due to its breakfast buffet feature. And evidently enough, when we got to the lobby, almost all the dining tables were already occupied by tourists and other hotel occupants, and the buffet line stretching as far as the table could go.

 After a few minutes of searching for open seats, a table has finally been vacated. Like a hawk, we zeroed in on the spot and secured it for ourselves. We took turns in getting food while someone remained to guard territory. 

But apparently, that didn’t seem enough because in one occasion, a seat got stolen from us by some random Chinese tourist right under our noses. During that time, Denise was on the buffet line while Arlyn and I were busy chatting with each other. Then we just realized that the chair where Denise was suppose to occupy was suddenly taken. It happened all so fast that we weren’t able to react, lol. Luckily, we were able to get another seat for her when she returned. Since then, we vowed to never again get slighted by the likes of those ill-mannered tourists who can’t even ask for permission before taking someone’s chair. Tsk.

Setting that aside, food was very delicious and we certainly had our stomachs filled to the brim and satisfied.

Our hotel room.

We then went back to our room to take a bath and prepare our stuff for the first agenda of the day.

DAY 1

We took a cab to our first destination: the grand palace complex. Our cab driver, who was probably friendly and chatty by nature, thought that we were from Malaysia. After telling him that we were from the Philippines, he said that he had Filipino passengers in the past and continued to talk about stuff that I can no longer recall lol. The ride cost us 200 THB and was paid in full when we reached our drop off point. As expected, even arriving early, there was already a huge crowd of buzzing tourists who had the same agenda as us.

Welp, on to the ticket booth then.

GRAND PALACE COMPLEX

“The Grand Palace complex was established in 1782 and it consists of not only the royal residences and throne halls, but also a number of government offices as well as the renowned Temple of the Emerald Buddha. It covers an area of 218,000 square meters and is surrounded by four walls, 1900 meters in length.”, as said in the pamphlet guide. 

Our entrance ticket worth 500 Baht.

View of "Wat Phra Kaew" from the outside of its protective walls.

Even before we went to Thailand, the three of us were already aware that most of the places we were going to visit were temples or structures that are highly respected and revered  by the locals; thus it was advised that we wore decent clothing. Alas, Denise sleeveless top was deemed unacceptable by the palace guard (even with a shawl as cover), so she was forced to buy a shirt to wear instead so we could proceed inside, LOLOLOLOL.

Denise in her new instant-souvenir-shirt. So tourist-y~ XD

Thotsakhirithon, Demonic guards (or yakshas) at the temple entrance

From left to right: Phra Sri Rattana Chedi, Phra Mondop and Prasat Phra Dhepbidorn (The Royal Pantheon)

A closer look of the buildings... sort of.

Entrance to Phra Mondop, with guardians

Trying to be spiderman, eh birdie? ;P

A mini-replica of Angkor Wat in Cambodia.

Woot! Tourist mode! :3

Even from afar, the emblem of the Chakri dynasty (three-bladed sword in a sharpened disc) on the door is still visible.

The Chakri Maha Prasat hall

BOAT RIDE TO NOWHERE

After we finished our sweaty stroll inside the palace, we left the premises to continue to our next destination. Seeing as we had no idea how to get there, we stopped and asked for directions.

Which led to one of the worst decisions we have ever done in our stay in this country.

The person we’ve asked directions from insisted that we take a boat ride around the city, so as to experience a better feel and understanding of their city and culture. While pointing to the map we held with a guiding finger, he further explained that riding a boat through the river would take us to all the hot spots Bangkok had to offer, and at the same time recommending a particular boat service that offered a much cheaper price compared to the usual fee being charged. Being the gullible tourists that we were, we agreed to such stupidity and paid 900 THB each for this “chance of the lifetime”...

...Only to see nothing of importance, get bored and sleepy, and waste a large sum of money that we could have used for buying souvenirs or food.

UGGGHHHHHHH.

The expensive boat ride around the city. Ngiti nalang mga bes, huhu

To those who plan on having a boat ride around the city, I advice against it because it’s a total waste of time and money. (’ -_-)>

When that long ordeal was over, we were dropped off near the souvenir shacks by the docks, just a few blocks away from Wat Pho. But because it was already lunch time and the 3 of us were utterly famished, we took a short break and ate affordable lunch from the local street vendors. 

Reminds me of the karinderyas back in the Philippines. ;3

My lunch: beef noodle soup for 50 THB. :P

WAT ARUN

We were suppose to go here as indicated in the itinerary, but sadly, the place was undergoing renovation and restoration at the time, so we opted to skip this part.

WAT PHO

For our next (and last; huhu, wat arun whyyyy) destination of the day, we went to Wat Pho, the oldest and largest Buddhist temple in Bangkok where the famous Reclining Buddha resides. It houses the largest collection of Buddha images in the country as well.

Wat Pho is also the oldest learning center in Bangkok. It is also the birthplace of traditional Thai massage.

Wat Pho entrance ticket for 100 Baht, with complimentary bottle of water. 

The side entrance.

“Welcome to Wat Pho”

The Bell Tower.

For those who are directionally challenged... like me. >.>

Koi party~

Denise strikes again, lol! Better cover those arms before going inside the temple mah dear~

The Reclining Buddha in Viraha Hall

Measuring 46 meters long nad 15 meters high, this golden statue is something first-time visitors must see in Bangkok.

Look at that enormous golden beauty...

Reclining Buddha in a different angle.

Detailed paintings that depict their history and culture adorned its walls.

Temple Grounds

Aside from its main highlight, the vicinity inside is worth exploring. Similar to the grand palace complex, intricate architectural designs and several golden buddha statues lined up together can be seen here.

Colorful Chedis that are said to contain the ashes of the members of the Thai royal family. Four of these are dedicated to the previous kings of Chakri dynasty.

A Golden Buddha altar inside Phra Ubosot.

Phra Prang (tower) at the corner inside Phra Rabiang

A line of golden Buddha images in the cloister.

Entrance of Phra Mondob.

When it was beginning to get dark and the feeling of our legs were turning into hard lead from all that walking, we “threw in the white towel” and headed back to our hotel to take a short rest before dinner.

NIGHT STROLL AT KHAO SAN ROAD

When night came, we took a 100 THB taxi ride from our hotel to Khao San Road, a famous district where backpackers and tourists alike go to eat food and buy souvenirs.

One of Denise’s goals in Thailand was to eat their famous ‘Pad Thai’. Luckily, there was this pretty lady who was cooking such a dish (in such high speed and precision!) so we ordered 3 servings from her for 50 THB each. 

The Pad Thai queen in her element.

There weren’t any tables and chairs available for eating like the ones we were accustomed to see at food courts, so we had no choice but to take a table reserved to a particular restaurant. Of course, the waiter (who looked rather annoyed at us) spotted us and asked (or demanded? can’t remember) if we were going to buy anything, so we bought a bottle of water for 29 THB so he wouldn’t have to kick us out. Hahaha, business is business after all. Wish I could have seen him do that to the other foreigners taking advantage of their tables. ;P

Aside from our dinner, I also bought a pomegranate juice for 40 THB and a coconut ice cream worth 20 THB for dessert.

Coconut ice cream with coco crunch and chocolate syrup on top. XD

Not one to miss such an opportunity when a horde of clothes are being sold everywhere from left to right, I browsed through every booth on the street and was rewarded from the search with a sleeveless cat-printed shirt, which I bought for 100THB.

Vintage style by Indy - Recession Over!

We also decided to get a Thai massage too, to feel the authentic experience first hand. Therefore we paid 150 THB each and got on top of the mattresses...

...only to be brutally tenderized by these Thai masseurs who didn't know the meaning of pain. DX

To those of you who are not aware of what a Thai massage is, here's a perfect description of it from Wikipedia:

"Traditional Thai massage uses no oils or lotions. The recipient remains clothed during a treatment. There is constant body contact between the giver and receiver, but rather than rubbing on muscles, the body is compressed, pulled, stretched and rocked." 

How I wish I 'd have known this piece of info before subjecting my poor body to torture, lol. Oh, don't get me wrong, the massage did indeed healed whatever tension or stress my muscles were subjected into, but the process of getting there was total SUFFERING.

I literally felt like a pretzel dough being kneaded, stretched, and pounded by a brutal patisserie, lol. At first I was anxious because I've never had a massage before. And since the one in charge of me was male, I had reservations being touched on my body.

Well, My reservations couldn't have been any more wrong.

Such concerns were useless and soon disappeared because there was nothing sexual about it at all  (bless their professionalism and shame on my dubious heart) . It was just pure... pain, so intense, that when the masseur asked if it was painful, I was utterly speechless. Arlyn, who was beside me, was already pounding her pillows, and not out of happiness ROFL.

That massage session made me realize that it was possible to crack bones in some parts of my body which I never knew were possible. It was a  totally eye-opening experience. >.<

After that ordeal, I've never felt so cheated by those posters of relaxed females who seem to be feeling good when having Thai massage. A piece of advice: don't be fooled by them. Hmph!

Anyway, since it was getting late and had ran out of things to do, not to mention having our bodies turned to jell-o from the berserker massage (lol, get it?), we agreed to go back to the hotel (via 67THB worth of taxi fair) to get a good night's rest.

DAY 2

AYUTTHAYA

For our second day itinerary in Bangkok, we were suppose to go to Ayutthaya. We even rode 2 trains to get to the train terminal for it. 

Instead of cards, one of their train lines use a token that has a built-in chip for scanning. So neat! XP

Unfortunately however, there was an issue in our schedule, since we didn't take into account the timetable of the train that would take us to the aforementioned UNESCO heritage site.

Because we didn't want to push it and ending up messing our itinerary, we decided to forego with Ayutthaya and just go shopping. Denise mentioned that the ruins were similar to Cambodia's Angkor Wat so it wouldn't be a total loss.

MBK CENTER

Having enough free time due to the cancellation of our Ayutthaya plan, we took a taxi to MBK Center, one of the famous shopping malls in Bangkok for its variety of goods being sold at an affordable price. 

Of course, with that being said, we bought our souvenirs here. Here's a list of some of the stuff I bought:

Magnets for 100 THB

Barquillos snack for 10 THB

Tamarind for 250 THB

2 Chapter clothes and woodprints for 950 THB

Olive green deer shirt (for Ian) for 200 THB

Cute cat shirt in mint green for 200 THB 

One out of the two lovely wood prints that I bought for myself. The other one, I gave to Ian. <3

Unfortunately, some of the items I intended to buy were a bit pricier compared to the ones I saw near the shops at Wat Pho. So I asked Arlyn and Denise if we could return (after dropping our stuff in the hotel first), and have lunch there in the process. They were kind enough to comply to my selfish request. <3 

And as usual, here’s the list of what I bought in that place:

bundle magnets for 200 THB

patterned pouch for 100 THB

mini statue for 100 THB

artwork for 250 THB

fan hat for 100 THB 

Going to another country has always been a major dream of mine since I'm the only one in my family who haven't set foot yet on a foreign soil. So to commemorate such a big leap forward in my personal goals, I've decided to buy myself a piece of the country I've been to, as a remembrance of the memory.

And keychains and magnets were out of the question.

So I bought the one thing that would represent the country's culture, and at the same time cater to one of the hobbies that I love: art.

Yes, I bought artworks. And here's one that I hand-picked: :3

Artwork of buddha.

When we were satisfied with the items we've purchased for ourselves and for our loved ones, we walked a bit to the area where food vendors and kiosks were stationed together. Imitating the other tourists there, we bought our food (mine cost around 110 THB) ala-"turo-turo" style. We then looked for a shaded corner with seats and ate happily while watching foreigners pass by.

Can you spot where I am in this pic? :P

For our dessert, we bought sticky rice (50 THB), which was recommended to Denise by one of her acquaintances. It's basically almost like suman with ripe mango, topped with condensada.

Totally yum!

Once we were finished with our affairs, we headed back to our hotel to make our preparations for our trip to Cambodia the following day. While I was organizing my stuff, I realized something dreadful that demanded immediate attention and solution: I ran out of Thai money.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~

Due to my souvenir-hunt splurging (and also, curse you damn boat ride!), I mismanaged my funds and therefore didn't have enough money to buy transpo tickets for our trip the following day. Echoing my despair to my 2 friends (who were also low on money), we went back to MBK Center to exchange dollar to baht.

Since we wanted to save money and the mall was a walking distance from our hotel, we did just that: walk. The distance was similar to going to Trinoma mall from my condo.

I thought my problems were solved once we got to the mall, but the universe had its own way of amusing itself.

And making me suffer in the process.

We went to 3 money exchange places, but it was either they ran out of money or they were already closed. We literally went to every nook and crany of the shopping center to exchange money but it was the same thing.

Running out of time and feeling quite desperate, I was at the tipping point of my panic when we arrived at our final money exchange booth. Good news was, they were still open. Bad news was...

Well...

Uh.. I’ve already forgotten the actual details of it, so LOL.

But from what I can remember, it involved using our local money to exchange it to baht. Haha. Talk about repressing a bad memory hahahaha. 

So when the whole shenanigans was finally done, we walked back to our hotel, but not before stopping by at 7 Eleven first to buy cheap dinner (Got smoked salmon onigiri for 28 THB) and some toothpaste that tasted salty when we got to try it. It was weird, to be honest.

We ate at our room after we came back and enjoyed our last night at Bangkok, Thailand.

A final view of Bangkok from our hotel, before our departure to Cambodia.

[diatasair]

does anyone even follow me for the sormik anymore, much less fics? hoo knos

the color of the wheat fields (5/?) ( part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4)

There’s something exciting, celebration-worthy, muted, and terrifying about thinking about a year’s end.

Sorey doesn’t really know how to describe it, exactly—every time it approaches he eagerly anticipates it then he thinks about all the things he’ll leave behind and get terrified, but they’re never bad days, those last days. Mostly just very yawn-filled. There are lots of festivities. It’s just that in the lulls of the in-betweens, the darkness between two lights feel deeper than usual.

It’s a stupid fear, honestly. Even he’s not buying it. New Years are great.

“Sorey?” Mom calls from the kitchen. Sorey looks up from the chickens, thumb restlessly fiddling with the fodder meals he’s just gotten. They’re soft but ultimately rather squishy in his palm, which is kind of eugh when he thinks about it too long. “Did you pick up the cornmeal from Camlann yet?”

“I did,” Sorey answers, throwing the rest of it to the ground before dusting off his hands. They’re probably gonna run out of it in two weeks or so, though, so they’d better get some soon after New Years. Though then again, he did see clovers and stuff, and there’s no real shortage of worms around, if Sorey’s childhood is any indication. They’ll be fine. “Do you want to make the cornflakes now?”

His bike—blue and pretty new, just two years old—is leaning against the wall, and the big bag of cornmeal is tied on the back seat. It’s a tradition, here, to make snacks and just eat as they light a bonfire in the middle of the village, chairs circling it. And well, snacks for an entire village is a lot of snacks, and it’s not rare for them to get ready two weeks prior. With now being a week before the end of the year, they’re cutting it just a bit close, but well. He and Mom work best when chased down with a broom called deadline. Aunt Muse and Uncle Michael have been busy making snowfall cookies these past few days, on the other hand. They’re really the best at it—so soft it seems to melt, with the powdered sugar coating them tasting icy and—

“Sorey! Come on, stop daydreaming about Mikleo. Or cookies. Whichever it is you’re daydreaming about.”

“’m not daydreaming!” Sorey calls back as he hefts the sack over his shoulders, sulking at the ducks passing by. Then, in a murmur, “you’re daydreaming. Probably. Maybe.”

Contrary to popular belief, Sorey grumbles mentally as he makes his way to the kitchen, he does thinks about stuffs, sometimes. Sure, he acts a bit—well, a lot—spacey and jump topics and stop and stares at the ground way too often too fast, but he’s not just dreaming.

Well, at least Mom doesn’t get too on his case about it. His teachers do, though. His answers aren’t always textbook answers, and while his old teacher appreciated his answers on their language arts class, the ones this year are really prickly about what he says on answers sheets, and—

“Sorey, cornflakes!”

“All right, Mom!”

Right, so, past few days—mostly goats, cornflakes, cornflakes, their garden, Lawrence with twenty bottles of soda pop. Food was communal whenever these type of festivities happen, partially—he and Mom end up at Mikleo’s, where they fried up tofu after dinner, dipping it in some soy sauce with chopped up garlic and onions in between batches of snacks.  Sorey knew that Uncle Michael had a thing for coffee, but he wasn’t sure that it was normal or a good idea to drink it at 11 pm. He looks kind of like he’s ready to bike his way to Camlann at that very moment, which isn’t really a good idea considering that a considerable amount of streets there tend to be chained up for the night, thanks to some old wariness for the military. They were gone when Sorey was two or three, but apparently despite the pretty short duration, its effects were long lasting.

Anyway, Sorey’s been eating the misshapen leftovers of the cookies. Ever since he was seven, Uncle Michael was banned from succumbing to his wide-eyed begging to make more misshapen cookies so Sorey can eat them without waiting for the New Year’s Eve. Mom can be cruel sometimes.

“Stop mooching off the cookies,” Mikleo chides as he elbows Sorey’s side, barely making contact from how his hands are holding on to big plastic containers filled with the cookies. Sorey’s just escorting him. Him and his cookies. The cornflakes are already at their places, so he’s just filling his time being nice. “I think you ate like half a kilo of the stuff already. Don’t you get bored of it or something?”

“The likelihood of that is about as high as me getting bored of ruins. I dunno, Mikleo.”

Mason is by the wooden pyramid, yelling and waving at Ed as they get the bonfire ready. It’s seven, eight o’clock now, and everyone’s out of their houses—from hunger, probably, because dinner is postponed until the roasts. Not on the bonfire, of course, but it usually starts with it, if only because that’s when Ed hauls the coals from the storage. He can already smell the birds and chickens and corns, in the distance. The smoke tastes like excitement.

Sorey helps Mikleo place the containers on the coffee tables dragged out, nestled between bowls of cornflakes and berries and soda, cubed papayas and hot ginger milk tea. Behind them the fire crackles to life. Mom is bent over as she talks to Medea, who’s starting to roast the chickens, while Aunt Muse is talking to Gramps, a plate of the cookies extended towards him. Eyes darting, his mind catalogues people, noises, lights, probing each sensation with the curiosity of a bird before hopping back, hopping on, and suddenly, it all feels overwhelming and not enough.

“Sorey?”

There’s so much in this one moment, and it makes him think about the days before—they’re equally rich, aren’t they? But he can’t remember them all. But at least by staying in this year he’s still somehow attached to them, tethered by a thread, a common ground—

“I’m going to get some soda,” Sorey says instead, moving back home for a cup. “Want some?”

Mikleo raises an eyebrow. “I think I’ll get the tea instead, thanks.”

“Suit yourself.”

Melody and Cynthia and Kyme wave and nod at him as he passes by, and Sorey grins in return. It’s unlikely that it was even visible, though, he muses, smile fading with each step—they don’t have street lamps, and the only lights are from the open doors. There’s tons of noise, cluttered like his house, but it’s the spaces in between the sounds that feel excruciatingly empty. He wants to cram everything into them, things that overflowed from the tight fits, like that concept of osmosis he learned this semester. Even it out, maybe. To divide them into memorable chunks.

He sort of needs to go back to the crowds, somehow. He’s sort of scared.

As he stumbles home his eyes catches Uncle’s silhouette, sitting hunched on the front steps of his home, holding onto a cup by its rim. He’s staring at the festivities, faint lights showing his tiny smile.  Sorey makes a beeline for him.

Uncle raises his glass. Fizzes—soda. “Hey. Waiting for dinner?”

Huh? Oh—the other half of the roasting team, the ones with the birds, are ten meters away. It’s Natalie and Loanna and Shiron, so they’re pretty quiet; Sorey almost didn’t realize they’re there, with how their hunched forms covered the fire’s glow. “Not really,” Sorey says. “Just kind of. Uh.”

Uncle pats the step beside him. “Sit down.”

From here, they’ve got a sort of good view of the sky down to Camlann—the town itself isn’t visible, but Sorey’s seen enough of this scenery to guess where’s what, and every year they always look there, because it’s where all the fireworks are. They don’t do fireworks, here—scares off the livestock. They have sparklers, though, for after dinner. Sparklers remind Sorey of what he’s going to lose, after the fizzling sparks disappear: an after image, too vague to be a concrete leftover, too long to disappear without a pang. It feels like crushing a can. Kinda like the realization that fireworks are gorgeous and exciting and awe-inspiring, but those five seconds are all they have, and afterwards nothing can ever really be like it again.

“Have you ever been scared of New Years, Uncle?”

“Hmm?” Uncle takes a sip of his drink, unblinking eyes on the sky. “New Years? Why?”

“Mm, nothing. I just…”

Like this world is something he loves, and he loves all of it? What makes it it is all the experiences and memories and losing it feels like losing a crucial part of who he is, because Sorey likes to gather all the tiny moments and sort them, tagging them to be reviewed later. Because all of it—the sounds, the tastes, the feelings, the sights—shape him to who he is now, and Sorey likes to know his roots. Because he wants to remember what it is about everything that makes him fall in love with the universe.

“I dunno,” he mutters. “I want to see the New Year, but I also don’t want to leave this behind.”

“Ah,” Uncle says. “That.”

“Yeah.”

Above, the leaves rustle with bats and winds. Some yelp and yells follow, filled with panic about the fires, but they all glide over his skin and just raise goosebumps.

“Why does it scare you, Sorey?”

“Well,” Sorey starts, fiddling with his sleeves—“Like, I mean, everything I am is sort of, uh, an aggregation of all I was and how I react to it? And. All my thoughts during all these years. The decisions. It’s kind of scary to think that I’ll forget them.”

It’s not something people think he has, all things considered. They think he likes living in the possibilities. And he does! It’s just that, well, the past were also possibilities—it’s just that they were possibilities that he chose, subconsciously or not, and that makes them as valuable, too. He likes to understand himself. He likes to know why he’s doing the things he does right now.

“Oh, you mean that,” Uncle says. “There’s no real way to keep all that, that’s true. The brain only has a limited capacity for information—most of what we experience is lost. But honestly, I think… It doesn’t only have to be your brain that remembers.”

Sorey blinks. “Huh?”

Uncle turns his head, staring at him. “Most of your experiences are shared, aren’t they? It’s not just you who remembers it. And your thoughts… You can always write it down—share it with the paper. We’re not put in this world solely to rely on our own capabilities; we all have lived through so many things because we have resourcefulness, people to shoulder half the work. There’s so much we can do, but by distributing, sharing what we have to carry, what we do ends up being what’s meaningful to us.” He takes a sip. The distant stare towards the night sky makes Sorey turn, too, to see what he’s looking at, and his eyes find the pale, blinking stars. “It took me a while to realize that, too. But anyhoo, you should probably get back.”

“What about you?”

Uncle raises his cup, smile lopsided. “I’ll join you all later. Food smells good right now.”

It’s far later at night. The green glow of his watch is kinda hard to see with all the red and yellows but it’s nearing midnight, now, and everyone’s buzzed up on fizzy soda and lots of sugar, laughing as an occasional firework fires off from Camlann. Sorey’s got one leg up on Mikleo’s chair, and Mikleo’s leg is bent and resting up on his knee. They’re kinda sleepy but one container of cornflakes is sitting precariously on Mikleo’s leg, tilted and leaning against his leg, and they’ve stolen a bottle of the lemon soda for themselves, sharing a cup as they munch. The packs of sparklers rest against their plastic chairs, waiting for midnight.

“C’mon boys,” Mom says suddenly, standing up. “It’s a quarter to midnight. If you want to watch the lightworks, uppity up.”

Sorey jostles, then Mikleo jumps, and they almost spilled everything. Mom swipes the cornflakes, though, and Mikleo just barely saves the cup, so Sorey grabs the sprinklers and hops to the balls of his feet, sleepily exhilarated. The muted sounds of celebrations echo down the mountains—he can’t see the lights, but he can feel it bubble up inside. It would be so, so great to be able to bike down to Camlann as the fireworks fly, to feel the harsh cold air against his hair as his ears ring, but that’s too lonely, and Uncle’s right. This is a moment to be shared, because it’s a precious one he wants to remember.

Mikleo sends him a glare. “Calm down, will you? We almost spilled the soda.”

“Fireworks!”

In the end, it’s pretty much everyone who joins them. Even Gramps and Uncle have gotten up, staying in the far back—Ed and Cynthia and Melody have sparklers of their own, too, while Mason holds the match. Mom taps her foot as she counts out the minutes. Five minutes, three—the light is on, and everything bursts into pale gold.

Sorey looks up, grinning. Mikleo is grinning back, and they wave their sparklers.

“Midnight,” Aunt Muse says, voice light with bated breath.

In the distance, above their ephemeral string of lights, flowers rain. Laughter is echoed by the muted bangs, cloaked and masked and balled up, but it feels free here, in this clearing, so it flies free. They’re at the edge of Elysia—beyond them is the road down to Camlann, the endless steps of fields that line it, the mountains. Beyond them is the world.

Mom kisses his cheek as she grabs his hand with a laugh, making a swish with his sparkler before letting go. Everything feels close together, that second—lights, sounds, warmth—and when he looks up, when he looks up and sees Mikleo and Mom and the rest of his family, the silhouettes of his home, and he sees the after images of the lights, they’re all the color of the wheat fields.