#THIS BREAKS ME SO BAD

[fallenrunescape]

Anyone else get emotional over seeing Damian's handwriting...

There's this specific image comparing both his and Demetrius' handwriting during Daybreak's arc, and seeing how clumsy his handwriting is reminded me that he's six years old and shouldn't even be going through extreme lengths to be noticed by either of his parents

He's aware of his neglection, he knows when people lie to him about his father.. HE'S A SIX YEAR OLD BOY this is taking such a huge toll on me

[hinamie]

I'm always pushing you away from me / but you come back with gravity / and when I call, you come home

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[heartorbit]

searching for a star that's still unknown to anyone!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I know those eyes.

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[reds-skull]

Both me and price looking at that pic of them sleeping: do it for them...

(This was supposed to be like. 2 panels rip)

[twinstxrs]

fabian’s insistence on calling someone to tell them about lucy & yolanda because he thought people just deserved to know, out of respect. both deeply sweet & incredibly gutting. (bill seacaster move over that’s MY darling boy)

[juniemunie]

[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]

Hitting a lil' too close to home?

[pokytoad]

photo of a REAL BILLBOARD that my best friend sent me on their daily commute, in case anyone needs money-laundering advice you know who to call

[sombrewoodlandfairy]

the tortured poets department wallpapers

part 1 | part 2

[thebrainrotsreal]

Random musings about an episode where Spectra disguised herself as a student, rather than a counselor to sow misery within the high school! Spreading gossip, being outright malicious, shattering friendships, and all that jazz! Plus, using that fact she looks like a teen against Danny, since unless cornering her, he couldn't fight her without looking like he's attacking a random student.

[suntails]

toot toot!

[tsunosagun]

i flew too high, please catch my fall

[natjennie]

"a lot of positive sentiments from people that are not saved in your phone" fucking christ. bearsley's done it again huh.

[theriverbeyond]

Gideon Nav terrible fashion sense is so important to me babygirl has never been free to dress herself in her LIFE and i firmly believe that if she did have that freedom she would wear just. the most dogshit outfits. socks with slides. neon colors. shirts that say TITS with an arrow pointing down. outfits so bad every woman she meets is begging to take her on a department store makeover episode. outfits so bad you wonder if she got dressed in the dark upside down picking her clothing items by chaos potential. outfits so bad they wrap around to being sick as hell before winding back and punching you straight in the face

[geoledgy]

Does anyone want to hear about me and my friends' insanely intricate Breaking Bad Geoscience AU about Walter White being a former volcanologist with silicosis who turns to fracking and finds Jesse Pinkman siphoning gas with a tube at a gas station