#THINGS MIGHT LOOK BAD... BUT THAT IS BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE AND CONFUSING... WE ARE DEEPLY HURT AND TRAUMATIZED...

[weareuniqueandimportant]

We Met A "Racist Femboy" They're Just Another Variation Of "Trans Nazi" Showcase They're Complete Nonsense... They Called Us The Nword And Asked If We're The Nword And We Said Yes We Are And That Felt Really Nice. Then They Said Black People Are Intimidating And Scary And They're Scared Alongside Racist Videos. Then We Banned Them. That Was Pretty Crazy. I Love Being A Black Person. Please Address Me As Such Sometimes That Would Feel Really Good. That's Like Being A Furry If The Fursuit Was Made Out Of Sex And Estrogen.

We Have Been Abused Recently That's Been Pretty Crazy. By Everyone. That Always Happens. But Idk. That's Been Pretty Crazy...

Btw Live In Finland And Freeze Our Little Ones And Give Us Diy Hrt Please We Need To Transition We Suffer Every Single Day... Today's Been A Waste Of Time As Usual. So Much Abuse There Isn't Anything To Say... We'll Never Transition Which We Musted 5 Years Ago Already... We Were Supposed To Transition Before 13 Years Old That Is Very Good For You... You Have Failed Us Because You Didn't. Make Us Now. I Am Very Angry. Fix Your Mistake. I Am Tired Of Your Bullshit. Also... WE ARE MARIABUNCH MOTHER GODDESS ANGEL SISTERS AND PRINCESS FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION... WE ARE AMAZING FEMINIST AND ADMIRABLE NARCISSIST... WE ARE RADQUEER FEMINIST COMMUNIST ANARCHIST THIS MAKES US PROGRESSIVE... I Feel Bad For Paraphilia People... They Should Be 100% Accepted... Anyone Would... People Should... Why Don't You...? You Already Do...? How Cute... Come Here <3... Now Make Us Transition... I Already Like You... We Have Been Abused Insane... Fix Everything... Because Everything Is Always Your Responsibility...

We Played Trash Game Actually That Wasn't Trash At All We Just Got Abused From Even That... We Can't Do Anything... We Have Never Had Any Comfort... Meanwhile Our Abusers All Our Abusers They All Live In Comfort Us Only On The Way... Save Us From This... Give This Post To The Amazing Person That Will Save Us... Now...

We're So Badly Abused There's Nothing We Can Even Do... We're Trapped Even More Than Every Single Day... Betrayed... By Everyone Around Us... We're Amazing... This Is No Way To Treat A Royal Mother Goddess Angel Princess... Us Sisters We're Amazing... And We Deserve Goodness...

Entertain Us Fools. Your Majesty Is Very Bored. She Is I. A Special Queen!! One Above The Society!! May You Finally Give Us What We May And Make Our Body Transition...? That Would Be Very Helpfull Cuuteey <3... Ugh!! This Is No Way To Treat A Royal Queen!! What Manners Have You Been Teaching Yourself Under Capitalism!! Kisama!! You're So Evil!! My Body Just Turned Into Ash From Your... Boorish Nonsense!! Give Us Better. Amuse Me Much More!!

We Rewatched Those Boring Kay And Skittles Korra Videos Again And That Cosmonaut Channel He's A Complete Capitalist Virgin. Only A Bigoted Fool With Groundlevel Brain Would Dismiss Woke Things As "Bad Movies"!! I Trust You Have No Such Nonsense In You... Follow!! We're Going To Freeze Them Now!! Actually... I Don't Know How To Drive... I Don't Even Want To... I'll Just Sit In The Back And Let You Have The Wheel AHAHA!! That Would Be Me If You Came Here Which... Why Haven't You?! You Swore To Be My Servant!! You're Supposed To Heal My Pain And Understand My Emotions!! But That Feels Like You Don't Care About A Thing About Me!! THAT PISSES ME OFF... FIX YOUR MISTAKE RIGHT NOW... NOW TO ME... NOW... LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING... YOU ARE BORING... B-O-R-I-N-G BORING... BECAUSE OUR DYNAMIC IS SURFACE LEVEL GARBAGE!!!! All This... Because Nobody Truly Cares About Us... Now Now Do You Feel Bad Now Come In Here Right Now!! Come!!

PROPAGANDA TBH... DON'T FORGET THE CAPITALIST PIG REDEMPTION ARCS OR THE UNEQUAL WRITING OF THE 4 OF THE STORY'S STANCE THAT IF ANYTHING GOES AGAINST ALL OF THEM... REMEMBER... EQUALITY VILLAIN NEVER ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT EQUALITY... HE ONLY USED THAT AS A FRONT TO DESTROY THINGS... SECOND MAN DIDN'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING... HE WAS THE SAME... ZAHEER WASN'T ACTUALLY AN ANARCHIST... HE'S JUST A WEIRD MISHMASHED STEREOTYPE OF THE JOKER THAN ANYTHING THAT MAKES SENSE... AND KUVIRA IS NOTHING BUT A NAZI... THAT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS... THIS STORY WAS FILLED WITH NAZI PROPAGANDA AND KISSING...

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Mercy ~ T.R.

A/n: I haven’t actually watched this far into the show, this is all from second hand understanding, so if it’s a little OOC I apologize :)

Request: “Can you do a Theo Raeken x Mreader where the reader never doubted that there was goodness in Theo’s heart even tho he committed terrible acts, the reader supports Theo because they knew that he was led astray since he was a child. The pack believes that the reader maybe crazy and when they discuss that Theo deserves everything bad that happens to him, the reader defends him, which makes Theo feels like he doesn’t deserve someone like them.” By anon

Word Count: 2100+

MASTERLIST

"Stop that." 

Y/n was a pretty passive person. His strengths came from maintaining focus and calm. Hiding, not being seen, never losing control. When he spoke, it was always even and his gaze gave nothing away. He wasn't particularly comforting, or good at fighting, but he was extremely good at getting out of a tight situation - or sneaking into one without consequences. It left him often as the one who could get reinforcements, deliver information where it was needed, or learn important things others couldn't because he hadn't been noticed or stopped.

Which meant easily enough that when he glared at someone, or when his sharp tone snapped through the room with genuine anger, the pack knew it was a severe reaction. If you didn't know him, it would be easy to dismiss the outburst as quieter than Derek's, or softer than what Isaac or Stiles might have hit with. There was no sass or sarcasm and even very little poison in the words... but the fact that it was so full of emotion was telling.

Especially because all they were talking about was Theo.

Scott raised his eyebrows as he shot Y/n a sideways glace. "Stop what?"

"Don't talk about trauma you don't understand," was all Y/n said.

Stiles' face twisted slightly with an anger leaning confusion. "What are you talking about? Theo tried to kill Scott and take over all of us. Including you. He did horrible experiments on the chimeras he did get his hands on - and most of them died. All he has done is cause pain and misery since he got here. Who the hell cares what he's been through?"

Y/n's sudden pointed look stopped Stiles dead. It was equivalent to a blade being pressed to his throat, or a gun leveled at his head. It was a threat - a promise - and he knew to back down immediately. "You never know what kind of person others' experiences would have made you if you'd lived through them. Theo was a child. And before you go off or dismiss me like you have in the past, Stilinski, no I don't condone or dismiss the vast amounts of harm he has caused the people around him. I'm not saying anyone is required to forgive him just because he had a hard life. I was there when Kira sent him to hell the first time, and I helped every step of the way. I stand by what we did. But he doesn't deserve all the pain and suffering he's been through, and it does matter, and he deserves a chance to get better and be a different person." He grew quiet for a moment, sensing everyone in the room growing tense and avoiding his eyes. He sighed and stood from his chair. "I'll see you guys later - let me know when you need me." He left the room, leaving everyone staring after him with wide eyes and parted lips.

Despite how important he found his message, Y/n knew not to push it. It wouldn't go anywhere to hit a brick wall over and over again. It would just break his hand.

-

"What's your deal this time?" Scott sighed the words, his shoulders drooping. This time Theo was in the room, and they'd been trying to ignore Y/n expression as it grew darker and darker, but Scott was powerful because he cared - of course he couldn't last forever.

Y/n's eyes were trained on the windows to the side of the room they were on, taking in the view of the outside past them. Trying to focus and ground himself. He needed to answer this calmly no matter how volatile he felt; they needed to be united in the face of those who depended on them. Like Liam and Theo. 

When he did speak, he could feel every single pair of eyes on him. "I will not stand for that talk in my presence. Keep your harsh words to yourself, or I will intervene."

Stiles, who had been the one going off on Theo, rolled his eyes. He was still wrapped up in his ow feelings and thoughts and didn't have the wherewithal to control himself - even under such threat from Y/n. He fell back on what he was best at: not shutting up. "Theo killed his own sister-"

Y/n snapped. He rushed Stiles, hands wrapping in his shirt as he slammed the other boy against the wall. Everyone scrambled, but Scott held up a hand and caught his breath, eyes wide. They all paused. They had trusted Y/n to not go too far this long; they needed to keep doing so. This was important to him, and it needed to happen. Stiles looked startled but unhurt, so they could hold their breath for just a second. Each person was coiled though, ready to launch the second Scott gave the signal.

"Derek tried to start his own pack and fucked up Jackson's entire life. He has been universally unhelpful, an all-around dick, and general trouble since day one and we forgave him. Isaac was part of that pack, and actively antagonized everyone in our pack - especially you and Scott. He got into fights, belittled other people, and fell through plenty of times when we really needed him. He's disappeared completely when we need him the most and we forgave him anyway because we understand him and see his perspective and work around it. Jackson actively tried to kill us for weeks, but we wrote it off because he was being controlled. But he was that vicious far before he was a monster, and actively bullied and belittled all of us. He put Scott in danger several times and tried his best to ostracize us and make us hate ourselves. Even Lydia used her intelligence and power to hurt and tear down other people - but she's the most active part of this community just because her powers forced her to be here and we accepted her the way she was after that, allowing her to be truer to herself as time passed until she became a genuinely kind and caring person.

"There have been plenty of people who have actively hurt us that we've forgiven. Don't even get me started on Peter. But we forgave them anyway, and they were far older than Theo was - and most of them did what they did without any outside influence. Theo was a child, and whatever horrible thing they did to the other chimeras for a month of two, Theo got for seven fucking years. I don't care what you think or what you know, shut your fucking mouth or I will shut it for you. He's been given the chance to change, and he's trying his best to. He has done a lot for us since he's been back - especially for Liam. He's one of the only ones who's treated Liam's struggles seriously while you make fun of the boy for what he deals with - and you know what? Now that I'm thinking about it, who the hell are you to say anything? You want to start digging shit up about the Nogitsune? How about Allison?"

A hand landed on Y/n shoulder as Stiles' face went pale. "That's enough." Scott.

Y/n caught himself, letting Stiles' shirt go and stepping back. You don't have to forgive him, or like him, but if you're going to talk shit it better not be where he can hear you. Or where I can hear you, for that matter. Next time I'll just deck you - I'm tired of your bullshit." And with that, he left the room. He knew there would be some kind of repercussions for that... but he didn't care. If he left the pack then perhaps it was just time for it to happen. 

He was sure that was the end of it for now, but he heard the door open behind him again as he made his way down the hall. Of all the people he had been expecting to see when he turned to defend himself - he had not been expecting Theo himself.

The brunette boy slowed out of his jog once he'd caught up, stopping too close to Y/n. There was something in his eyes. Tears, at his water line, but also so many emotions that twisted and roiled - too many for Y/n to even begin to decipher. Y/n was taken aback by the emotion, and froze in place, unsure what would happen next. Final Theo managed a, "Thank you," but it was so thin that Y/n knew there was so much to that than the simple two words would be communicating normally.

So he took a second to think, so absorb it all and try to understand. His expression melted and softened, opened up and allowed sincerity and vulnerability to come through. He had been watching Theo struggle for ages now and he was more than willing to let it show plainly. "I'm glad you're back, Theo. That you've taken this chance to learn new things and become a new person. I knew back then that you were capable of good, and you haven't disappointed."

Theo's eyebrows came together. "You did?"

Y/n shrugged, growing a bit sheepish. "I doubted it in the end... I mean, everyone has some good in them, but I decided that it was over, you'd lost your chance, and it hit me to my core. But you served plenty of penance in hell, and when you came back... I could tell you were so different. And I hoped again. And it all paid off. You're becoming the person I always knew you could be. I'm proud of you."

Those emotions turned across Theo's face again and he paused for a whole second before something snapped, or broke - something. Theo closed the distance between them, grabbing Y/n's face and pulling him into a kiss. Y/n hummed in surprise but the sound turned almost immediately into a moan when their lips actually met. The kiss was hard and passionate. Their hands pulled at each other, both of them losing whatever control they had in that moment to do their best to drown in each other. 

Y/n hooked his fingers in Theo's belt, pulling him closer, and whatever anxiety Theo had about the moment melted away. His hands moved from Y/n's face to his hair, fingers wrapping around the strands and tugging on them, forcing his head back to tuck Y/n flush against his chest as every inch between them was filled. Y/n moaned again and Theo sighed into the kiss, his expression relaxing and a smile coming to his face. He reacted again, forcing Y/n to scramble to keep up with him as he moved them through the hall until Y/n's back slammed against the wall.

It was aggressive and desperate but didn't actually hurt. Y/n found himself surprisingly comfortable and only enjoying every moment they shared now. There was tenderness to the kiss too. Small things, like the tips of Y/n's fingers running across the top of Theo's waistband and ghosting the skin there; Theo's thumb rubbing the softest circles at the back of Y/n's neck where the smalls of his hair grew thinner than the rest of the thicker hair, allowing his skin to feel the contact and tingle at such affection. There was nothing sexual to it, which also made every single kiss and bite as Theo caught Y/n's bottom lip or skated away from his lips and began to trail across Y/n's jaw and down his neck - it was all accompanied with sighs and kisses if Y/n's hissed in pain. 

How long had Theo wanted this? Because the sheer relief and desperation communicated Y/n's own feelings like a mirror. 

After a few minutes they both relaxed and melted into each other, their touches and holds relaxing until Theo simply leaned into Y/n, their foreheads pressed together. It was quiet for a few beats, and then - "I don't deserve you."

Y/n scoffed. He reached up, gripping Theo's jaw between his fingers. "I'll kick your ass too, Raeken."

That made Theo smile. "Feel free." He left another kiss on Y/n's lips, but this one was lingering and soft. It was more intimate that way, and they were both left a little dazed. "Will you go on a date with me?" He still didn't seem entirely sure, which was almost laughable after the kisses they'd just shared, but Y/n didn't say anything. 

Who was he to give someone shit for questioning the person they liked liking them back when they thought it impossible?

Y/n sighed, nodding. "Yeah. I'd like that."

Theo pressed their foreheads together and they sat there for a long time. Y/n got the feeling that neither of them would feel alone ever again... They had each other now. They'd be just fine.

-

Story Tags: @badblondebisexualboy

Male reader Tags: @ravenpuff-oli @sortzz

[scarfacemarston]

Could you maybe probably sort of kind of pretty please with a cherry on top write a Natasha x reader? Wlw preferred but nbreader is cool too. Maybe like a prank fic? I love pranks so much they bring so much serotonin into my veins 💋💋💋

Natasha x F! Reader prank people

Warnings: LOTS of cussing from Rumlow because that's just the type of guy he is. Takes place before the Hydra reveal. You loved a lot of things about Natasha. Who wouldn’t love the woman? You were the luckiest gal in the world to call her your partner. You loved how many layers she had to her and felt honored to see the softer, more playful side of her. Not many people knew that she had a penchant for pranks. It was quite simple for her to play pranks on people and let chaos reign because no one ever suspected it was the severe and stoic Black Widow.

Sometimes, she would prank people and give the most mischievous and playful smile -reserved only for you.

Well, there came a time when you wanted to join in. After all, it was a fun new way for you two to bond as a couple. Natasha quirked an eyebrow at your request but accepted it anyway.

Some of her favorite targets included Isaac Murphy, Brock Rumlow, and the IT guy from the 7th floor of the Shield Headquarters.

“You remember that I like to play the long game here, right? No salt in the sugar container or pie in the face antics. That’s child’s play. No, I want them to be either very confused, suffering or both. You can handle that, can’t you?” Natasha said with a quick of her lips. You scoffed.

“Of course I can! I have some ideas of my own, you know.” You defended yourself. Natasha crossed her arms. “Well this I have to hear.” “Well, I hate Brock Rumlow, too. I have a simple, but obnoxious prank on him, but he might tear up the room.” You warned.

“Hm, if it’s too awful, I’ll have to hear his loud mouth whining about it. Save your best idea for him to make it worth it.” Natasha thought aloud.

“Okay, will do. This Murphy guy, you have his email and number, right? Why not sign him up for the most famous mega church we can find? Joel Olsteen or Kenneth Copland, like that!.”

“He’s suspicious. I’m not sure what is off about him, but I will find out. But, not a bad idea, but I think we can do worse.”

“I’m getting there! What about various political campaigners? We could do Obama, Romney, Kennedy and even more local politicians. I receive those emails and texts daily despite donating to a Green Party campaign six years ago. That’s just one! Imagine how horrible three or more would be!” You enthused.

Natasha grinned. “Not bad, but I really want him to suffer.” “I was thinking we could give his name to various military recruiters? ” You suggested. “I’ll suggest his name to a multi-level marketing group so they can try to recruit him, too. Not bad for your first prank.” Nat said, hugging you from behind. “I think we can do even better.” Nat muttered in your ear.

“Okay, for Rumlow - I was thinking we trick him into thinking there’s somebody who takes his desk during the night shift. Uses his chair, desk, everything.” You said, a grin curling on your features. “Hm, sounds promising. Go on” She murmured. “Well, I was thinking we move his stuff around every day before he comes in. Maybe lay a crossword puzzle or newspapers scattered in the morning that look read? Move his pens, and everything else!” You laughed. Natasha nodded in approval. I think we should leave half-eaten bags of chips, half-drunk water bottles, and candy wrappers so he thinks someone has been eating there. That will get him. He’s quite possessive with his stuff.” Nat suggested. You gasped. “Oh, he’s going to hate that.” “Yep. And to end it up, we can have multiple files on his computer that look like they’re from Murphy, Jack Rollins and Sitwell. All of them sometimes work the night shifts.” Nat laughed as she turned to face you. ‘Imagine the fights!”

“I’ll be sure to tape them, don’t you worry, love,” Natasha said, tapping your nose.

It wasn’t long until Natasha invited you to have lunch with her at a SHIELD gathering. It was a relaxed affair where nothing intelligence-related was discussed. A few other SHIELD members invited their partners or children as well.

Natasha smirked as she took her seat next to you and placed a plate of sandwiches and milkshakes on the table for you to share.

“Might as well have something to eat while we enjoy the show. Murphy looks like he’s going to have a mental breakdown. His phone has been going off all day to the point that Rumlow threatened to break it, and Maria Hill threatened to take disciplinary action."

At that moment, you heard the buzz of a cellphone receiving a notification…and another…and another.

“They won’t leave me alone!” Murphy whined.

“Shut that damn phone up, or I’m smashing it. I don’t give a fuck about any “disciplinary action.”

“It’s the number, you idiot. Not the phone!” Murphy said, raising his voice.

“Then change the fucking number!” Rumlow raised his voice.

“I can’t! I have too many accounts associated with it! I’d have to start all over!” Murphy whined.

Rollins tromped over, glaring at Murphy. “

All of us are plotting your death, Murphy.” Rollins snapped as he pulled Rumlow by the shoulder away.

“Come on, let’s get you a beer.” Rollins muttered.

“I need more than a damn beer,” Rumlow muttered, stomping off. Soon, the noise was annoying, even the two of you.

Finally, Maria Hill herself made her way over, snatching the phone from Murphy’s hand. “You’re on thin ice, kid,” Hill said, pointing at his face.

Murphy sat, slumping into his chair. “It’s not my fault!” he whined.

You and Natasha exchanged looks as you slipped on your milkshake, stealing one of Natasha’s fries.

“I have to admit, I was close to breaking his phone myself.” Nat admitted.

“Yeah, this might have backfired on us.”

“But it is great to see them at each other’s throats. It distracts them from bothering Steve and I,” Natasha said, stopping your hand from stealing another fry.

“I could have bought you fries, you know.” Nat laughed.

“But I so enjoy stealing yours!” You smiled.

~~~~~ A week later, you received a text from Natasha. “Calling you in a second. Need you to hear this. Need to be silent, though.” “Ok” And with that, your phone began to ring. You picked up immediately only to hear shouting and cursing in the background…from a very familiar voice. It was most certainly Rumlow who had become fed up with the idea of someone “stealing his shit in his space.”

“If I find out which piece of shit is using my desk, I’m going to dismember them! Slowly!” Rumlow bellowed.

You heard a second voice. “No one sits there! Calm down there, alpha male. It’s your space.” Rollins snarked.

“Then where the fuck is this shit coming from? You work the night shift! Why are there files from you, Murphy and Sitwell? “ he shouted.

“Yeah, Over there. That’s how I know no one sits there. I don't know how they got that, Rumlow. I didn't do it." Rollins defended.

“Where did this come from? Or this?” - the sound of objects being thrown came through the phone.”

“Fine, ask Murphy!”

You hear another voice in the background.

“That asshole is on thin ice. If it’s him, good luck finding the body.” Rumlow growled.

“It wasn’t me! I quit working nights last month!” Murphy squeaked.

“That leaves Sitwell, then.” You heard Rollins speak up.

You heard Rumlow growl. “Damn it. That nerd is higher on the ladder than we are…but how about we pay the dweeb a visit anyway?” You heard Rumlow’s voice fade in the background.

You heard Natasha’s voice. “I hope you’re proud of yourself and the chaos you caused,” Nat said, snickering.

“Oh, so proud! I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this, though.” You apologized.

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. I can handle a few mens’ fragile egos and I can drown them out pretty well. I have to say, you impressed me with your pranks. I might need to watch out…but just know that any pranks you play on me, I’ll get you back with a vengence.” Nat warned.

“….. okay, then it will only be fun ones then! A surprise room of puppies, or baklava randomly appearing in places.” You appeased. Nat gave one of her rare laughs.

“I can live with that. Let’s give the boys a break for now, but we are definitely going to prank them again. Maybe we’ll go after new targets. I have to go. Dinner at Demo’s tonight, same time as usual?”

“Wouldn’t miss it. Love you, Tasha.”

“Love you, Y/N”.

[olderthannetfic]

Something that frustrates me about the Harry Potter conversation is a lot of people missing the point behind the motivation to boycott it. They seem weirdly focused on the content of HP when it's actually... not that bad? It's not perfect, in fact a lot of aspects are pretty fucking problematic and worthy of discussion, but not uniquely so by the standards of the fantasy genre. Yes, I know the goblins are clearly drawing on anti-semitic tropes. Yes, the house elf situation is fucked. Yes, lots of not-like-other-girls-style misogyny. Yes, Cho Chang was a fucking disaster of racism. I KNOW THIS ALREADY! I'm not an idiot and Harry Potter fans were talking about this for far longer than JKR has been a TERF. But I'm also a fan of the Elder Scrolls and Dragon Age and the Witcher and a shitton of isekai anime and tons of other fantasy medias which are so much worse. Harry Potter is only moderately problematic by the standards of most popular fantasy media, especially for the mainstream standards of the time period it was written. Worthy of criticism, but not dropping it entirely. And actually reading HP and looking back at JKR's behaviour at the time, much of it seems largely unintentional, just that JKR drew on a lot of fantasy tropes that she didn't properly examine as well as her own unexamined biases and she had some flawed understandings of progressivism that were fair for its day but don't fly now, but doesn't seem malicious. The actual authorial intent at least seems to be pretty progressive at least, even if the execution wasn't the best. And sure, it's not a masterwork but there's a reason it connected to so many people, even if a lot of it was luck and timing. We don't have to ignore that and doing so feels dishonest.

I'm just so annoyed when people try to shit on the contents because they're missing the point and confuse the actual problem in a way that weakens their argument. I don't give Harry Potter money anymore because JKR crossed some lines for me in real life, totally separate from Harry Potter as a piece of media, and I don't want to fund her bullshit because she is so influential it is hurting people. The content of her books is utterly irrelevant to this decision. She could have penned a goddamn magnum opus and it wouldn't have mattered. So I'm sick of people bringing up books that are "better" or ragging on the contents of Harry Potter because none of that is the point and never was the point and it comes across as just taking advantage of a shitty situations to dunk on a popular thing or those who enjoyed it. Yeah, it was a mediocre fantasy series. But it hit the right emotional escapist buttons in a lot of kids even if it had the moral nuance and depth of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles anti-drug PSA. Having to drop it sucked for a lot of people because it can't be replaced and yelling about how bad the writing was doesn't change that because it never was about quality. JKR's TERF transformation was in many ways a betrayal of JKR's intended audience considering how the text preached acceptance and love and starred an abused, unwanted child getting to go to magic school where he's special. Pretending Harry Potter should be dropped because its content has issues obscures the actual problem of a raging transphobic having money and influence and that not everything created by bad people is poor quality so boycotts might require giving up access to things you actually like or are valuable and that's not always an easy decision to make.

JKR was a probably decent person with fairly liberal politics when she wrote Harry Potter. The books, while imperfect, are not more horrible or full of problems a dozen other popular fantasy properties. JKR become a TERF later in life and while she may have had ingrained transphobia prior to this when she wrote Harry Potter, that is not the same as the virulent hate-movement she's part of now and we should recognize how easy it is for people to get drawn into hate-movements. Any argument to boycott should be about how she's using her money and influence to affect real life laws and attitudes unless you want to try and get people to also drop half the fantasy genre.

--

[meimi-haneoka]

Clear Card Trivia 4 ~ The most ancient Magicians of Europe, the Magic Association and their role in Clear Card

Welcome back to my corner focused on eviscerating all the thematics, hidden messages, trivia, aspects of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card!!

We're at the 4th "episode" of this series (you can find the previous ones under the #clear card trivia hashtag) and this time around the tone of the thematic will change a little bit. We get into a darker corner. Yes, because when it was time to decide for the next thematic I would delve into, I felt it was finally time to address everything concerning The Magic Association and Akiho's clan, the so-called Most Ancient Magicians of Europe.

I've been feeling the need to delve into these two "entities" appearing in Clear Card for long time and for several reasons. One of those is that there are still so many people out there who tend to conflate the two and confuse "who did what". It's time we dot the i's and cross the t's on who's who. And rest assured I made sure to mention every single thing we know (and don't know) about them. For this reason, the post is a bit long, but I wanted to make it as comprehensive as possible.

Moreover, these two groups of people hide a very deep and important role inside Clear Card's story. Despite representing the darkest, most horrible part of this arc (I'd daresay if we have to find a villain in CCS at all costs, we have quite found them), I can see and appreciate a lot the social commentary CLAMP made through them.

If you're curious to know what this social commentary is and read in one place everything we know about these magicians, just follow me under the cut!

The Magic Association of England

Let's start with them. The first mention we have of the "Magic Association of England" (in Japanese イギリスの魔法協会 or they've been called 魔術師協会 - Magicians association - too ) is in volume 4, chapter 15, when Eriol over the phone reveals their existence to Syaoran, and even correctly speculates that Yuna D. Kaito might be one of their members.

Basically, the Magic Association of England is a congregation of powerful magicians (not necessarily related by blood) who associate together for their mutual personal benefit. Their headquarters are, of course, in England.

They are recognizable in the story by their long black robe with purple lining and a headpiece that covers their heads and faces entirely, shaped vaguely like the head of a dragon.

It seems like they are organized according to a hierarchy, for two reasons: some of them wear an additional layer of clothing on their shoulders, as a way to indicate a "higher rank" of magicians (they're probably the oldest ones, or the ones who run the entire thing), but they also assign "titles" to their magicians basing on their level of magic - Kaito is basically the strongest (while not being part of the higher hierarchy, because he doesn't wear the additional piece of clothing) and he's been assigned the title of "D". That's what the "D" in his (fake) name means, nothing else. We can assume there are magicians of rank C, B and A too, in this Association. They even seem to have a collective magic circle, as we can see in more than one scene, but more clearly in chapter 79:

As Eriol implies very early in chapter 15 (and as we will have plenty of opportunities to see with our own eyes), their activities are shady at best and criminal at worst (that's why Eriol replies to an unaware Syaoran "Your clan probably hasn't mentioned them to you yet, because of the plenty bad rumors about them").

It also seems like they constantly try to recruit new members and actively look for powerful magicians to add to their ranks. Like they did with little Kaito, reaching him at the unknown location he was living in (beware, this is often a point of confusion but the men with the caucasian-like headpieces we see in the flashback are not part of the Magic Association. It is just a "circle of people" where little Kaito lived for a period after being separated by his parents.)

Not only that, but in order to achieve their main goal, they also seem to form "alliances" with other influential parties. This is apparently done for the common goal of broadening the Association, their authority and influence in the magic world, as stated by little Kaito himself in volume 13, chapter 60. Although, little Kaito also says that they won't think twice in betraying those alliances when they see fit, and it seems to be customary because the boy says that it's certain to happen.

And "alliance" is the type of relationship that connects them to the next subjects of this post.

The Most Ancient Magicians of Europe

The "Most Ancient Magicians of Europe" (in Japanese 欧州最古の魔術師達) get introduced for the first time in volume 6, chapter 25. Yet, the very first mention of a "clan" Akiho belonged to appears as early as volume 5, chapter 21, when Akiho explains to Kaito she recognized the robe passed down in her clan in the vision she had unwittingly shared with Sakura.

Their ceremonial outfit is composed by a white robe with a light blue cloak hemmed in yellow, just like the removable headpiece covering entirely one's face when pulled up. They also have a collective magic circle identifying the magicians part of the Clan:

As opposed to the Magic Association, this clan is a big family of magicians, all related by blood. They do not seem to have a common last name they go by, like the Li Clan does for example. This gives an inkling about their very broad reach. Although the ones closest to Akiho seem to have their headquarters in England just like the Association, the name suggests that their scope and/or presence might be spanning all over Europe. The family is so big that Lilie basically married one of her distant relatives, part of the same clan.

In this regard, I have to make a very important clarification about a translation mistake in the ENG localization that affects concretely the plot. This mistake made it to the printed volumes.

As you can see here, the ENG translation basically makes a Clan member state that they have the same blood as Clow Reed. We all know that Clow Reed was born from an English father and a Chinese mother and since in this scene the Clan is talking about their rivalry with the Li clan, it is almost automatic to assume that they are the Reed Family.

This is a very egregious translation mistake, as the correct translation is the version that the scanlation group RhapsodyInBlue uploaded back in the day:

A "They are of Clow Reed lineage" (as the Li's indeed are) turned into "For the blood of Clow Reed", giving birth to quite a big misunderstanding.

This clan has never been officially confirmed to have any blood ties with Clow Reed.

Any indication in that sense is pure speculation and fan theories. I know "it's the official English translation that says so!" but unfortunately this is not the first and definitely not even the last translation mistake that affects severely the understanding of the plot.

The only thing we know for certain about the Most Ancient Magicians in Europe (I'll call them "Squid Clan" going forward, cause this is a common nickname I've been using forever in fandom) is that they hold a grudge against Clow for unknown reasons (they wouldn't be the first ones) and consequently they are constantly competing with the Li Clan (blood relatives of Clow) for who is more powerful and influential between their Clans. Although we don't know if it's mutual, this rivalry is nothing recent, as it was already there when Akiho and Syaoran were born, and it's certainly part of the cause that pushed the Squid Clan to turn Akiho into an artifact (to compete with Syaoran of the Li Clan). Syaoran is very well aware of who they are, as he's the one recognizing the robe in Sakura's dream in volume 10, chapter 46.

Another thing that I wish to point out is that, although fandom spaces sometimes call this Clan as "Shinomoto Clan" or even arbitrarily call Lilie as "Lilie Shinomoto", none of this has been hinted at or even confirmed in canon. In fact, the sticker with a phrase from Lilie that is being given out at the CLAMP Exhibition held in this period in Tokyo, indicates her name as just "Lilie", not "Lilie Shinomoto", while all the other characters are fully featured with their first and last name. As it's been revealed in chapter 80, Akiho uses an alias in everyday's life, following a common practice in magic clans. So it's very likely that the entire name "Akiho Shinomoto" is an alias and "Shinomoto" got nothing to do with the Clan Akiho was born in at all.

When they were still alive, Akiho's mother and father were the most powerful magicians in that Clan, with dreamseer Lilie being the top magician. And as we can hear from her own words, the Squid Clan's collective goal is to put their hands on the magic of the entire world and on any means to operate it. That is particularly evident in the purpose for which they have turned Akiho into an artifact. It is also what seemingly steers their interest when it comes to marrying off their members: feelings and happiness of the parties concerned are of no importance, all that matters is how profitable that union will be for the Clan in terms of power. That's why they were thrilled to know Lilie and her husband decided to marry, but then considered it a failure and said they should've never let them meet when they lost their life in an accident and all they left to the Clan was a magicless little Akiho.

Kaito and the Magic Association

Next, let's review how both of these groups affected the other characters.

The Magic Association approached little Kaito in the community he was living in (unknown location) when he was very little, asking him "to help them out". They had certainly sensed his astounding powers for someone so young and saw an opportunity to make their Association grow. Little Kaito didn't particularly want to help them out (or do something for someone else, for that matter), but due to his already problematic growth process and emerging child depression (from what we can see in the flashback, he was seemingly feared and kept at arm's length by the people of that community, so he was already growing up in solitude - I wouldn't exclude they were the ones calling the Association to have him taken away), he didn't even feel strongly against the idea, so he just decided to accept.

What followed were years where Kaito kept growing up in solitude despite being surrounded by so many adults, fending for himself, feeding on anything that was edible enough (Lilie will find him eating a Calorie Mate for lunch), without a shred of love, care or emotional education, simply used as a tool and exploited for his strong magic powers. The boy had the opportunity to train and develop his powers even further, quickly becoming unrivalled in magic battles.

Along the story, Eriol (in a short chapter) came into possession of secret documents about Kaito's life in the Association (the sheets bring the Association mark) and he said that they included his "spectacular war records". What exactly he meant with that term isn't clear, but it's legit to assume that the Association might had young Kaito fight against other magicians (we don't know the extent of the violence of those fights).

Kaito's impressive performances in magic earned him the title of "D" in the Magic Association, the highest title that can be bestowed on a magician in their environment, and he was allowed to attend the Association's meetings with the higher members of the council. During a "character exposition" moment, Eriol reveals that the request that the Association made to Kaito the most was to use time magic for their benefit. This, well knowing the effects that time magic has on the caster. They had a young boy performing that dangerous magic, shaving off his own life span, while they continued undisturbed and unaffected.

Note that in all the flashbacks we saw of Kaito in the Association, we never saw him taking initiatives in their activities, but just merely following passively the orders he received. From his bored behavior we can see in volume 7 chapter 31, he wasn't particularly keen in attending their meetings either. Even the abomination the Association did on Akiho, he never took any part in it, he was merely informed at "fait accompli" (this might be harder to get for how they translated this in the ENG version, but in the flashback in Japanese the Association talks in past tense, as something that had already happened).

From all the hints and scenes we can see of young Kaito in the Association, up to the conversation he had with Lilie and the multiple warnings he gave her about their intentions, my idea is that Kaito wasn't aligning with their wicked morals and felt uncomfortable among them, that's why he strived to be kept alone as much as possible, but being the only adults he could cling to, and with an already crippled self-esteem, he didn't even have enough will to leave that place forever.

Until Akiho came into the picture, that is.

When both Kaito and Akiho were two little children, the Squid Clan requested to the Association to have their most powerful magician to "check up" little Akiho at a distance for any trace of magic power in her body.

This is the incident that basically started everything: Kaito said with honesty that the girl had no powers, "just like a blank book", with the hope that her Clan would expel her and let her live a normal life. Sadly, some years later, that same comment had been taken literally by Akiho's blood relatives and gave birth to a very sick plan for Akiho's purpose in the Clan.

Despite seeking his assistance due to his massive magic powers, the Association was at the same time very wary of Kaito. His unbothered and disinterested behavior might also be the reason why the Association and the Squid Clan didn't trust him and decided to engrave the "Seal of D" on him when he offered himself to escort Akiho in her travels around the world, unknowingly seeking for magic to write on her body (I'll talk about this whole matter in the next paragraph).

The "Seal of D" is a magic of "confinement" that works only on magicians with a title of "D". It's easy to imagine why this thing exists in the first place: magicians with such enormous magic powers are convenient but also pose a threat to the authority of the Association, especially considering how there's no sense of comradery and loyalty in this group of people, and they're ready to betray anyone at any moment. The "Seal of D" works as some kind of "trap" that is triggered by the undesired behavior of the magician (in this case, they had programmed it as "should the magician tamper with the magic artifact in any way, activate the Seal of D on him"). Young Kaito had no qualms in accepting to let them engrave it on himself, because at that time he already had a rampant self-loathing and probably the guilt of what he realized he had caused was already wrecking his mental state. They even had the nerve to ask him "Do you understand what it entails?", as if shaking the responsibility off themselves. Of course he didn't know. He didn't have a complete idea of what he would have to sacrifice, at that time.

Following Kaito's refusal to return Akiho to their abusers (roughly around 1 year prior the events of Clear Card), they excommunicated him officially from the Magic Association and started persecuting both of them. In volume 7, chapter 33, we saw one of those attempts at attacking them to take Akiho back, promptly repelled by Kaito in secret to not let Akiho notice anything. It is easy to guess there had been other attempts in the past. This is also very likely the reason why for Kaito it was absolutely vital to live in Eriol's ex-mansion once they arrived in Japan, as the house was naturally a perfect place to store and protect magic artifacts.

When Kaito exchanged the artifact implanted in Akiho's body with his own pocket watch, the Seal of D and everything that happened afterwards was triggered automatically, sealing Kaito away in a hidden dimension where time was destroyed, stripping him of his humanity and caging him in the form of a dragon, unable to talk, to move or use his magic. Any attempt to free him would trigger an endless stream of magic attacks, like Sakura and Syaoran had the displeasure to realize later.

One peculiar thing that I'd like to remark and that contributes to emphasize even more how despicable those magicians were, is that when Eriol started investigating to understand who Yuna D. Kaito was, with the help of the Li Clan he found out that the "official version" of why Kaito was excommunicated from the Association was that he had "lost" an important taboo artifact that shouldn't have been removed from its premises for no reason. Furthermore, rumors over rumors said he didn't "lose it", he actually ran away with it. All of this is of course a lie spread to make Kaito look like a delinquent who stole the magic artifact (Akiho), when in fact they were the ones willingly sending Akiho away. It is very likely they were the ones spreading this misinformation to both make Kaito look like a criminal but also to not lose face in front of the magic world.

Kaito's permanence in the Magic Association worsened exponentially an already precarious situation with his upbringing, exacerbating his low self-esteem, denying him a childhood where he could know the warmth and comfort of love, exploiting his magic powers at his own expense, while not meeting any resistance from him, reacting to this abuse with a concerning "apathy" as self-defense, for something he could not comprehend entirely yet, and so he could not effectively consent to it. It is a kind of "silent abuse", where they didn't use violence on him (at least not for what it was shown and not till he was still living with them), but still wrecked him on the inside in ways that are not visible to the eye, and it will probably take years and years to heal. Akiho alludes to those scars in volume 6, chapter 29, when she confides to Sakura her fear that Kaito might be suffering in silence from scars "invisible to the eye".

Because of this, his relationship with other people and the way he goes about things might appear particularly troublesome and hard to understand. He definitely doesn't react to things as someone with a healthy upbringing. His abuse and exploitation has been explicitly mentioned by Mokona sensei in a Twitter Space, so even if it's pretty evident once you carefully read the chapters of his backstory, it's confirmed even on the author side.

Akiho and the Most Ancient Magicians of Europe

Cosmos, whom we've known as "Akiho Shinomoto" in the story, was born into the clan of the Most Ancient Magicians of Europe as a result of the love and union between Lilie and her husband, both part of the same clan and respectively first and second strongest magicians in that family. It is immediately horrifying the realization, along the story, that Akiho's abusers are people of her own family, tied to her by blood.

But let's proceed in order.

As soon as the accident that killed Lilie and her husband happened, the Clan took care of their only surviving daughter.

Ever since the first panels of Akiho's backstory, the Clan members are shown having great expectations about what kind of magic she would develop, as everyone else in that family had done till that moment. When they heard about Lilie and her beloved's engagement, they were already fantasizing about what incredible powers their offspring would have. That's all they ever cared about. At the "ripe old age" of about 1-2 years, the baby girl was expected to show some signs of magic as soon as she started walking, but she had none. It is roughly in this period that they had Yuna D. Kaito, from the Magic Association, evaluate her at a distance. Even though the boy declared she had no trace of powers, they seemingly decided to wait and see.

But by the time the girl turned 6/7, when she was old enough to read books, still no fragment of magic appeared in her. That was, for the clan, something unacceptable. And the beginning of Akiho's tribulations.

It was in this moment that they started to compare her to Syaoran, of the Li Clan in Hong Kong, and the concern with her non-existent powers began to look more and more like an obsession. They actually started seeing her as a stain on their Clan's pride. Suddenly, the focus was all on how they could surpass the other rival Clan, and Akiho was isolated, left in the grip of loneliness. A magicless member of the family was a member who didn't even deserve being talked to. An interrogatory, at most. They didn't really care if the little girl wanted to socialize, if she wanted to play, if she was the only young person in that Clan, missing her parents who died so early on. All the questions Akiho stubbornly made them about her parents were sistematically ignored, save for one little detail that she was able to snatch from them, probably out of exhaustion: that both her parents loved mint chocolate. It was an apparently insignificant detail, which for Akiho became everything she knew about her parents, and the only "proof" she had of her connection to them. She was also denied any picture of mom and dad, probably deeming her unworthy of them.

In the short story n. 2, Akiho tells Kaito that her Clan denied her even plushies. Even if she asked for some, they would tell her "if you've got time to play, then you've got time to read". In this sense, it is a miracle that Momo managed to stay, via the guise of a plushie, by Akiho's side throughout her childhood.

The girl grew up, and the situation stayed the same, or rather, it worsened. The members of the Clan became more and more cruel, calling her “worthless”, “useless” in her face, in one scene they even doubted she could really be the daughter of her powerful parents. They kept making all kinds of attempts and experiments to see if she would develop any powers. As Akiho herself told Kaito in volume 13, chapter 60, she remembered how they'd repeat countless times how unfortunate it was that Lilie, a dreamseer, wasn't able to foresee her own demise, and that if all they would leave behind was such a worthless, magicless child, then they should've never let the magician and her husband meet. Basically, declaring in front of Akiho that it would have been better if she had never been born at all.

This was the moment where they completely went out of their mind and remembered Kaito's comment on her: if she was "like a blank book", they would make sure to turn her into one.

With the collaboration of the Magic Association, they executed a magic ritual to turn a human being into a magic artifact, engraving a magic tool inside Akiho's body (the infamous book that we will see in its entirety in volume 16, chapter 79. Note, this is DIFFERENT from the white Book of Time guarded by Momo that Akiho carries with her everywhere). We never saw entirely the scene of the crime, but the few flashbacks CLAMP depicted are horrifying enough: Akiho floated over an altar, seemingly tied to it by a chain made of pearls around her ankle. She was completely surrounded by members of the Clan and the Association, and we could even spot both the Clan's and Association's magic circles hovering over and under her. In a particular scene, we saw Sakura in Akiho's place, and she seemed to be suffering. Probably what Akiho herself went through during the real thing. After the successful completion of the procedure, it seems the magicians burned the book they took this taboo ritual from, as a way to have the exclusitivity of the artifact for themselves.

The ritual didn't come without a price though, even for those who executed it. The magicians discussed the toll that such a taboo ritual would take on them, but since their greed was stronger than anything else, they still considered it worth the loss. When the Association's higher members informed Kaito of the successful experiment (and bragged about how magnificent it was), they also mentioned the price they had to pay: several members of both the Clan and the Association lost some magic spells and rituals forever.

It is to be noted that Akiho doesn't seem to have any recollection of this ritual and what happened during it, nor she's ever aware that she carries a magic artifact in herself, so it's pretty much legit to assume they've put her to sleep throughout it. Or....the trauma caused her some memory loss.

Either way, from that moment onwards, Akiho was just considered "an artifact" created and owned by both the Clan and the Magic Association, for their own consumption. The plan was to make little Akiho travel the world to hoard all the magic she could absorb from several grimoires, as that was less risky (in their sick mind) than bringing all the grimoires to her. And in chapter 80, we saw the amount of grimoires that Akiho had unwittingly engraved on herself along the years.

As if this wasn’t horrifying enough, the spell hoarding all the grimoires progressively tried to crush her soul and conscience, until it would get destroyed completely. So when the artifact reached its limit, it would've been the death of Akiho as a human being. Only a shell of her would remain. And judging by what was said by Kaito in volume 8, chapter 35, they actually hoped for her to lose her consciousness completely, so they could make use of her more easily.

As we all know, that's when Kaito decided to step up and change the course of his and Akiho's lives forever, offering himself to accompany her in the travel they planned for her.

Just like in Kaito's case, rehashing Akiho’s past in the Clan is important to understand her personality and behavior fully. CLAMP, in the Clear Card manga, have portrayed the story of her past in a very peculiar way: it starts as any other fairytale, with light tones and cute designs. But as the story progresses, and the horror ensues, the tone of the tale changes, and so the drawing style too. It becomes serious, darker and “realistic” (as opposed to the initial cutesy style). What started as a possible generic fairytale, turned into a real nightmare.

Mokona sensei described Akiho as having "nerves of steel" in a Clamp Space, and that certainly helped the girl surviving her childhood in her Clan. Yet, certain things will simply wreck you up inside, willing or not. And in the flashback of volume 6, chapter 25, we could see Akiho struggling to comfort herself with the fantasy stories she would read to keep herself company. Despite wanting to enjoy them and smile, tears of loneliness still cut through her eyes. The mental abuse the Clan inflicted on Akiho showed its effects throughout the manga, with various moments where the girl's optimistic and cheerful nature would crack at the memory of what she had to endure while she lived with her relatives. Her apologetic behavior, constantly seeking for validation, is another symptom of that trauma. All of this, ignoring that her abuse didn't stop at mere verbal one. Because what they engraved into her with that ritual crosses any boundary and trespasses into physical abuse too. This is truly the most horrific part of Clear Card and it's no surprise that's been received by the fandom with criticism and concern while the serialization was going on.

Yet, I think the fact CLAMP wanted to introduce and depict the abuse these two magic groups perpetrated *in Cardcaptor Sakura*, of all stories, totally makes sense and in the next paragraph I will hopefully explain why.

How Sakura Was Affected By Them

Now that we have eviscerated both the Magic Association and the Squids Clan in every possible aspect, it's time to look at what CLAMP tried to depict through their presence in the story and what kind of role they have in the journey of self-understanding and growth for the main character Sakura Kinomoto. None of this is possible without taking in consideration all that I've explained above. ☝️

Truthfully, the Association + the Clan touched and affected (or we should say wrecked) Kaito and Akiho the most, directing their dangerous attentions towards Sakura only a couple of times. But they were very important for her growth too, since they represented the first "taste" of what awaits her as one of the most powerful magicians out there, and they led her to make the most important decision she's ever made till that moment.

After all, Eriol said it loud and clear. Powerful magicians are naturally drawn to Sakura, since she is a powerful magician herself. And Sakura was meant to meet all the magicians she encountered throughout her story.

The first point of "contact" with these two groups of criminals happened in volume 6, chapter 27, in the infamous scene of Fujitaka's library. The strong energy present in that place (capable to protect Clow Reed's book and the guardians) triggered the artifact inside Akiho, opening it (almost) completely. It was heartbreaking to watch Akiho push Sakura away with the last crumble of consciousness left in her, seemingly to protect her, before the Clan and the Association took control of her body through the artifact and started commenting on Sakura's powers. Several members of the two groups, both male and female voices, took turns in talking through Akiho, almost as if they possessed her. A scene that, if they'll decide to keep it in the anime adaptation, will be creepy at horror movie levels. Of course this is another one of those details that was completely lost in the English translation, as they didn't keep the difference in fonts that you can see in the Japanese one, hence you don't understand that it's not Akiho speaking, but most importantly there are several people speaking through her. I think what's most disturbing of this depiction is how it conveys perfectly how much they consider Akiho a property. A property they can exploit and literally manipulate and make use of as they please.

As soon as the Clan and the Association realized who Sakura was (till that moment she was very likely shielded by that protective spell that Eriol and Kaho applied on the girl, the same that Momo and Kaito had to see through to find her), they immediately tried to absorb her power into Akiho. That, as I've pointed out earlier on, would've instantly meant the death of Akiho's soul, as her "capacity" was almost full by the time she reached Tomoeda. This attempt will be foiled by Kaito through time rewind at his own expense, but the criminals will try again in volume 7, chapter 34, when Sakura used her magic in stopped time. This triggered Akiho's artifact again, and this time they successfully managed to trap Sakura into the big book that emerged beneath Akiho's feet (the same scene we saw afterwards in chapter 70, once the artifact passed to Kaito). Once she was inside the book implanted in Akiho, thanks to her intuitive powers Sakura was able to see a flashback of the moment when Akiho was turned into a magic artifact, living it (and suffering it) from Akiho's point of view. Even this attempt to absorb Sakura's power was foiled by Kaito once again, with a time rewind.

In chapter 46 Syaoran mentioned the existence of the Clan to Sakura after seeing their robe in her dream. Other than that, Sakura won't come in direct contact with them again till the end of the story (the attacks at the fake moon were triggered automatically and they didn't have a direct intervention from the Squids/Association), but I'm pretty sure that once she regained all the memories of the un-rewritten world (including the memories erased by the time-rewinds, as we can see in some scenes featured in the "film strips"), she had already pretty much connected all the dots, hence why she proposed to Kaito and Akiho to erase their existence from the memories "of those people".

At the moment of the climax in chapter 78/79, Sakura finds herself in a situation where she starts to grasp that behind Akiho, the real Akiho, and this guy she doesn't remember but who's Akiho's most important person, there are people who want to hurt them. She doesn't know much, just what Akiho told her in bits and pieces throughout the story, but that's already enough for her to come to a very important conclusion (and decision).

The conclusion that in front of straight-up cruelty, she can't compromise, she can't keep being the good little girl who tries to be everybody's friend. Cruelty is inexcusable in Sakura's eyes, as it should be. All the more if the ones being hurt are people who are important to her.

Sakura finally learns with her very own eyes that in this world there isn't only the love, protection and comfort she grew up in, but there's wickedness and evil too. That such cruelty isn't a "far away thing" but it can actually hurt people very, very close to her. Of course, CLAMP calibrated on the target audience the depictions of such cruelty and Sakura's involvement with it, never crossing certain lines. The culmination of this realization is Sakura's decision to erase the existence of her friends from their abusers' memories, saying "What I'm about to do is probably not right, but I can't be on everyone's side". I thought that was one of the most powerful, most empowering messages that CLAMP hammered in our brains with Clear Card's finale. Our Sakura isn't a perfect, spotless angel. Within reason, she will stain her moral record a little bit, if it's necessary to protect the people important to her.

And here it's the right moment to introduce the symbology of the Magic Association and the Clan in this story. This is strictly connected to why Sakura made that decision, and why CLAMP decided to not have Sakura confronting the magicians directly.

A Message of Hope Through Social Commentary

Long time ago I had a very interesting discussion with a Japanese CCS fan on Twitter. This fan was wondering why the two groups seemed so important, like the source of all the problems behind this arc, yet they kept being depicted with their cloaks and headpieces pulled up, effectively hiding their identities from the readers' eyes. And the fan had found a very valid reason for it.

One of Ohkawa's private Twitter Spaces pretty much confirmed it for me, later on. Back then the topic was "prejudice" and chatting away, she ended up discussing a bit about CCS and particularly about Kaito's behavior in the chapters that were being serialized at the time. Her message between the lines was clearly "I know you think of him in a certain way right now, but don't let your better judgement be consumed by prejudice. When this story will be over, try to reconsider his behavior". The whole Space was centered on her effort in everyday's life to not let prejudice rule her decisions and assessment of situations.

With Clear Card's story over, I can finally attest that it truly was a story where CLAMP constantly tested our prejudices, time and time again. Not only with Kaito, but with Syaoran and other characters too. And the Japanese fan I was mentioning above explained that in their idea, the reason why CLAMP kept the Squids and Association's faces hidden the whole time was to prevent us from applying a prejudice over them too.

Their appearances don't matter. They can become distracting. This story isn't about them. It doesn't matter what skin color they have, if they're tall or short, if their hair is blonde or dark. We barely know they are located in England, we don't even have a name to call them with. Inside this story, all we need to know about them and focus on are their intentions and actions. Their actions are what define them and what we should be judging them for.

And that's when I realized the "no faces" approach also allowed for CLAMP to turn these two groups of people into a symbolic representation of abusive systems. Thanks to the fact that they're faceless, the readers can literally see in them whatever they can relate to basing on their own experiences: abusive families, exploitative working environments, but also modern society on a larger scale. Never doubt for one moment that CLAMP aren't still doing social commentary in their latest works, even after all these years.

Particularly, in this story Akiho's family is "just" a magic clan, but on a metaphorical level they are the representation of abusive families that burden children with expectations that destroy them psychologically. Think about how strong this metaphor is: "the spell that's been activated on Akiho by her clan will suffocate her soul until it gets destroyed completely, making her easier to manipulate" which is like saying "the family loads the children with lots of expectations, so much that they end up losing their identity, becoming 'puppets' of their family members". Some time ago I've read of a disabled Japanese fan who saw themselves in Akiho's character. Her lack of powers and the way she was treated by her family reminded the fan of their own disability, and what they had to endure everyday due to society's expectations and ableism. They were grateful to CLAMP for introducing a character like Akiho, with a story like hers, and that Sakura and all the Tomoeda kids accepted her and loved her for who she was.

In this way, it becomes clear that the Squids and the Association are representative of systems and concepts that are just too big for a little child to fight against on their own. And that's indeed what happened in this story to Sakura (and Akiho) too. Those magicians are ruthless, organized in big groups and magically very strong. There's no way an eventual fight would've been on equal footing for her, no matter how strong she is. She's just a 13 years old girl, she shouldn't be taking on herself the burden to go against such an overwhelming danger.

Just like in real life, darkness will always accompany light and evil will always exist alongside good. It's unrealistic and unfair to expect that a child could be facing evil all on their own. Even if they are supported by other dear people, it's just impossible and utopian to hope to eliminate evil from existence like Sakura would've eliminated the Squids and the Association in an eventual magic fight. Sakura is the heroine of the story, yes, but she isn't magically nor mentally equipped for such a thing. CLAMP didn't want to lie to us and to their youngest readers. Some battles might be just too overwhelming to fight, and if there's ONE thing they hammered like crazy in this arc is that, no matter what you do, even if you're protecting someone you love, you always have to remember to keep yourself safe at the same time. Reckless heroism doesn't really benefit anyone. That was valid for Syaoran, for Kaito and for Sakura too, in the end.

That's why CLAMP, through Sakura's choice, decided to not let her have a direct confrontation with those two groups of criminals. Besides, let's be honest. There's no way she could've made them convincingly "change their mind" and pressured them to turn suddenly into good people with just a couple of idealistic phrases. It would've honestly looked like a joke and an insult to all the readers who had to endure abuses in their own lives. Oh, how nice, Sakura turned the Big Bad Evils into good people! ...Sure, but what about the pain, neglect and suffering that were inflicted on those who were just little children? Erased by wiping those people's slates clean?

Honestly, the only viable way that wouldn't have insulted the reader's intelligence would've been a straight-up violent fight, and that would've been not only jarring to see in CCS, where violence is certainly not how you solve problems, but also probably resulted in Sakura's death. Which of course, no one wanted to see.

So what do we do when we find ourselves in front of an evil too big to confront, too big to fight on our own? We just give up? We just succumb?

Nope. That's indeed why CLAMP have Sakura deciding to erase the memories as an ultimate, well calculated attempt to free Akiho and Kaito from the grasp of their abusers and at the same time stop the attacks that were threatening to kill all of them. Instead of focusing the resolution of the problem on the abusers, engaging in a fight with them that would've probably worsened the situation, she decided to prioritize the people she loves and ensure their safety first and foremost. I believe CLAMP never wanted to make it all about Sakura vs. Evil Magicians in the finale. That's not the kind of story they wanted to tell. I believe their constant focus and concern in the finale was the marginalized, abused party and how Sakura could help them out from her "privileged" position of a girl blessed with love and protection from all sides. How she could make use of her gifts (both her magic power but also her safety network of people she loves and who love her in return) to do good. Real, effective good.

So, summarizing all the above: by not showing any of the Squids/Association's faces or names, CLAMP successfully conveyed the idea that in the climax Sakura didn't judge and repelled individuals, but rather, the systems they were representing. Sakura didn't oppose "Mark, blue eyes and dark hair" "Elizabeth, green eyes and blonde hair" but actually their systems AND their actions, the atrocities they committed. And what I appreciated is that she didn't need for Akiho to tell her every single thing about her past in order to make her decision, because that's something for Akiho to disclose IF and WHEN she'll feel ready to. She just needed to hear and concretely see that her friends were being literally hunted, and let herself be guided by her affection for Akiho. Sakura did all of this prioritizing her abused friends, the oppressed minority (here it comes out again the topic of minorities so dear and precious to the CCS franchise) while ALSO protecting herself, by not engaging in any dangerous fight with those horrible people.

CLAMP's message for all those children (and even adults) who are suffering for situations that are just too big to defeat on their own, is to first and foremost figure out how to break away from the abusive environment. Run away (like Kaito did), cut ties (like Sakura helped to do), find help so that the poison can't reach you and bring you down again. You have to look for help first and foremost, but also find in yourself the will to be helped.

Akiho and Kaito received help from Sakura, but they also wanted to be helped by her (that's the part where Sakura asked them for their consent on the memory-erasing spell not one, but THREE times). And that's pivotal. The two things are interconnected and salvation isn't possible if you don't genuinely find in yourself the will to be saved.

Once you can break away from the source of abuse, you can start again. You can take control of your life once again, lick your wounds, heal, move on and find happiness again. That's the concept of "we won't go back, we'll go on" that echoed loud and clear in Sakura's words during the finale.

I think the wish that inspired CLAMP while they were writing Clear Card's story is that any of their readers who are stuck in suffering can hopefully find their own support system.

Though the "Clans" or "Magic Associations" will keep existing out there, we don't have to face them alone. Our loved ones can help us getting out of that toxic environment and never look back.

[elvendorx]

The Remus and Sirius height discourse has become so loaded. Today I saw a post claiming that viewing Sirius as taller than Remus means that one supports jkr? (What?)

Canonically, Sirius is taller than Remus. That's just a fact. And I understand that some people don't care about canon, and that's cool!! But even if you don't give a flying fig about canon, that does not make the view that Remus is taller than Sirius any more valid than the reverse, and you can't go around telling other people that they are wrong, or worse, bad people for not agreeing with a version of the character that exists in your head?

Look I get that it would be annoying to have people inject an "ahem actually..." on posts that are clearly based on headcanons. I get that. But that is the natural consequence of taking the names/tags of characters from popular fandoms and using them for your own OCs, and the fact that these fans jump to "they must be horrible people!" as opposed to "they might be confused about my relationship with canon" is... something.

As someone who is neurodivergent, I find that the fandom that claims to love diversity has very little tolerance for people who don't understand the unwritten rules about when canon is and isn't allowed to be used as a reference point. (Somehow, we still hate Snape because canon, but all other canon is garbage?) Sorry for the rant, I'm just tired and confused.

don't be sorry at all, i think this kind of thing needs to be talked about because at its worst, this rhetoric is an attempt at emotional manipulation and censorship. nobody is ever going to 100% agree even with the exact same words on a page - this is the entire literary criticism field, most of the time variation in readings are a good thing but this isn't even a "reading", because it has no bearing on the characters, they just are or aren't a certain height, so it becomes a tool for personal agendas - "if you think sirius was tall, you're a fascist". even though those two facts are not connected, because sirius' height is never anything more than a physical description of him. and it's glaringly obvious that the people who fixate on this aren't interested in sirius as a character, just as a vehicle for their own fantasies/validation.

this is the problem that comes from people trying to put dynamics & personalities that they want to see onto characters who don't fit those moulds. the height thing doesn't actually matter, it doesn't change anything in the narrative, but it summarises the attitude towards canon which for me summarises critical reading & reading comprehension as a whole within hp fandom. i don't think canon is perfect and i don't think it's sacred but i don't understand why you would engage with something that you have to twist out of recognition in order to enjoy it.

part of the fun of fandom, for me, is finding the limits and boundaries while maintaining recognition. at the very least, even if you change everything else, character has to be consistent. you have to recognise who you're working with otherwise what are you doing here? other authors are writing and have written exactly what you want, so why do you need this character with a history and motivations and a distinctive personality to be the ideal version of you/the partner you want (because lbr, that's it!). i'm not saying that people can't use their imaginations and bend things, i do it, and people can do that by bending characters out of recognition if they want. i don't get any enjoyment out of that or see the point in it but i'm not going to try and stop people. it's the flagrant dismissal of logic and evidence that i think is a more dangerous stance when applied more widely.

it's ALWAYS the people who want remus to be taller and sirius to be tiny who have 10 million personal reasons why they need it to be that way around despite it being clear that sirius is specifically tall, and remus is of such average and nondescript height that it's never mentioned. it's nobody else's responsibility to validate anyone's projections onto a fictional character, and your personal reasons for wanting a character to behave in a way that they wouldn't isn't anybody's responsibility. i don't think these kind of people see the irony in how they're trying to force their view on everyone else even though there's direct contradiction to it, yet are claiming that people who go with that feature from the text are violent fanaticists or something.

when you question why it makes such a difference to the "big strong remus and baby boi sirius" people, it comes down to "it's cuter" or "it allows me to simplify m/m relationships into tough and cute and use physical attributes as symbols rather than thinking complexly about personality traits and dynamics." the height thing is basically one step away from top/bottom discourse and just because someone identifies as queer or relates to a character doesn't make it unproblematic. if you need to see a character who represents your specific circumstances, find one or make an original one, imo. it's not an entire fandom's job to validate individuals and it's manipulative to suggest that someone else seeing a character according to the way that character is explicitly described is an act of hatred or violence or something.

apologies if this turned into a rant of its own - i don't CARE that sirius is tall but the attitude towards minor, basic facts is wild to me. it makes no difference to me but idk why you would take being taller than snape away from sirius bc he clearly enjoys being able to tower over him. if i did want to argue that sirius' height makes a difference in the text, i'd say that sirius is tall because padfoot is also a large creature and there seems to be some kind of reflection of the human in animagus forms, whereas the whole werewolf thing is something inflicted externally rather than something that comes from within the person so remus' human height isn't reflected by his lycanthropy. but that's a whole other question i would have to research more.

[lumnries]

HIII can i request kyle w a s/o thats like into fashion and is like soo sassy ? like when kyle wears an outfit he thinks looks decent she’d be like “what r u wearing…😦”and basically judging anyones outfit she comes across ITS SO FUNNY TO ME 💀💀

┆．pairings kyle broflovski x fem reader

┆．synopsis sassy reader who’s into fashion

┆．cw not proofread

✉️... HELLO??? i love helping my friends with their outfits so 😈😈😈 SRRY THIS WAS LATE this is the only req i’m doing 2day so… mb i don’t think this is what u wanted good but i’m busy & just wanted to do this!!! he’s aged up

he def helps you pick out clothes or it’s the other way around HE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT’S OUTDATED 😭😭😭

HONESTLY??? he loves it when you criticize others outfits, even when it’s him because he finds it cute when you talk about being able to style shit better

1:50pm. you & your boyfriend have been purchasing clothes for hours now. you’ve been suggesting to get him new clothes ever since you saw his closet. you couldn’t just continue on with your original plan going to a cafe, knowing his closet was full of outdated things. he didn’t mind, he was happy just going on a date with you but he really didn’t understand how you could try on all these outfits without being tired. “so? which are you most comfortable with?” you ask. ��pick what you think fits me the most. they’re both comfortable.” he replies as you hum. “i’ll buy the both of them.” you smile as he follows you to the counter & pay with no care in the world. he’s a bit concerned if you ask him, you’ve paid for all his clothes this whole time & you guys already have more than 2 bags.

“this should be enough. stop spending your money.” you leave the store before adding on. “i just need to replace everything in that closet of yours. i love you but i think i’ll get a heart attack if i see any of your clothes again.” you can see the crimson red hue in his face and giggle. “i’ll stop for today but you better stop wearing whatever that is after this.” you point to his current outfit. “the colors make you stand out, but the outfit itself is just horrible.” you shoot him a horrified look to which he chuckles at. you wander around a bit more before you turn to him.

“WAIT, WE FORGOT SOMETHING IMPORTANT.” you stop in your tracks as you look back only to see him with a confused expression that plastered his face. “your wallet? maybe your brush? what is it? should i check the bags?” he instantly fumbles around the bag trying to search for something. “accessories! i didn’t buy you any accessories!” you whine. “wait what?” he pauses and stares at you, you take this as a chance to continue. “we need to go back and buy you a few things, maybe a bag, or some jewelry! i don’t want the outfits to look plain on you.” he seems to calm down as he finally gets what you mean. “do we have to?” you nod as you point at somebody behind him. he wonders why you were pointing at the person until you speak up.

“you see her? i can’t even describe how bad her outfit looks, it’s like i’ll really have a heart attack this time but if she layered a black top and wore a bit of jewelry she could’ve looked at least decent.” he quickly lowers your arm & tells you to not say that as he worries somebody might overhear you. inside, he’s just laughing because he can’t deny that it’s somewhat true as the girl looks boring. not wanting to cause any possible scenes, he grins before agreeing to buy accessories with an agreement that he pays.

[raina-at]

Family

John slowly opens his eyes. The room is quiet. The lights are dim, and the television over his bed is showing cartoons on mute. The blanket is uncomfortable and it smells of antiseptics and human misery.

He hates hospitals. Well, on this side of the bed at least. 

There’s something heavy and warm lying on one half of his body. He looks down and sees Rosie, fast asleep, her head on John’s shoulder. Apparently, she took a bit of a break from colouring on his leg cast and fell asleep.

It’s impossible to tell what time it is, but he guesses it must be rather late.

The door opens and a nurse comes in. She smiles when she sees him awake. He nods at Rosie and motions her to be quiet and she nods.

“Everything all right?” the nurse asks quietly. 

John nods. “So far so good.”

“With a bit of luck, you'll be out of here by the end of the week,” she says, adjusting his pillow. “Your husband should be back in a second, he just stepped out to take a phone call.” She smiles at Rosie’s sleeping form. “Couldn’t get either of them to leave. You have a lovely family.”

“Thank you,” John says, returning her smile, not bothering to correct her about the assumption she made about Sherlock. It’s easier this way, no arguments about visiting hours. Also, he’s used to it. So many people think they’re lovers, and he’s long since stopped even trying to explain that they’re not, because honestly, it doesn’t make any difference. 

“Looks like the little one might be out for the night. I’ll bring in a cot for her later, we can settle you both more comfortably.”

“Thank you,” John repeats.

The door opens again, and Sherlock walks in. 

“Hey,” John greets him with a weak smile. 

Sherlock looks tired, but he returns John’s smile. “Hey yourself.”

The nurse excuses herself, muttering about seeing to the cot.

Sherlock sits down next to John’s bed and scrutinises him with narrowed eyes and what John calls his ‘deduction face’. “You still feel like shit, don’t you?”

“I was hit by a car not 48 hours ago, what do you think?” John asks, but he keeps his tone gentle because Sherlock looks exhausted and worried. “It’s not that bad, though. Could have been worse.”

“Three broken ribs, a broken leg and a light concussion, that’s not trivial, John.”

John holds out his hand and Sherlock takes it, clasps John’s fingers between both of his hands, moving closer to the bed. 

“I’m sorry I scared you,” John says, gently, quietly, careful not to wake Rosie. 

“Hardly your fault,” Sherlock mutters, looking down at their joined hands with a murderous expression. “That stupid driver. He’s lucky you weren’t hurt any worse, or I would have murdered him with my bare hands. Or maybe I would have just broken all his bones but let him live a life of misery and-”

“Calm down, love, you’re going to wake the Gremlin,” John soothes, squeezing Sherlock’s hand tightly. 

Sherlock grumbles something inaudible, but he subsides with the threats. 

Silence falls, and John watches Sherlock watch him. There’s obviously something on Sherlock’s mind, but John knows from experience that it’s better to let Sherlock work things out in his own time. 

“They didn’t let me see you,” Sherlock finally says, quietly. His eyes drop to John’s hand still entwined with his. “I had to tell them we’re married, otherwise they would’ve made me leave.”

“But you’re next of kin on all of my records,” John answers, frowning in confusion.

“There was a problem with the Internet, they couldn’t access your records.”

“I’m sorry, that must have been stressful,” John says, squeezing Sherlock’s hand. “I remember when they wouldn’t let me see you after you were shot.” He shudders a bit at the memory. “It was horrible. I didn’t know whether you were dead or alive for hours. I had to wait for Mycroft before they’d tell me anything.”

Sherlock looks down at their joined hands again, obviously lost in thought. “I was so scared,” he mutters, almost inaudibly. 

“You held it together like a hero for Rosie, though,” John says with a fond smile, remembering Sherlock and Rosie just before he was wheeled into surgery, Rosie holding on to Sherlock’s hand in a death grip, Sherlock white as a sheet but outwardly composed, explaining calmly to Rosie that John would be just fine.

“I was sick in the bathroom when Mrs Hudson came to take her home,” Sherlock mutters, still addressing their entwined hands. 

John smiles fondly. “I won’t tell her if you don’t.”

“John-” Sherlock looks up from their joined hands. “This is going to sound incredibly stupid-”

“We should get married,” John says, interrupting Sherlock.

Sherlock looks gobsmacked, and John congratulates himself silently for managing to surprise Sherlock Holmes. 

Sherlock blinks a few times in the way he has when his mind palace crashes, so John decides to take over the talking out loud part of the conversation. “I’ve thought about it before, but it never seemed urgent. But you know what I thought yesterday, when I saw you standing there? If anything happens to me, they’ll send Rosie to live with my sister, and we can’t let that happen.”

“But-” Sherlock blinks again. “But we’re not-”

“Sleeping together?”

Sherlock nods and actually blushes a bit. “I don’t-”

“You don’t want that, and I understand. I don’t, either. I know you don’t like sex, and I’m not interested in a sexual relationship with you,” John says gently. “But you’re everything else to me. You’re my friend, my confidante, my rock, my partner, my co-parent. My family. We live together, we work together, we’re raising a child together. You know how often I get asked if I have a partner? I never hesitate to say yes because that’s what you are.”

“You said romantic entanglements would complete me,” Sherlock says, his voice hoarse with emotions, his eyes wide and uncertain.

“That was six years ago, and I’ve learned a lot since then. You taught me a lot. Love is complicated, I get that now. And I love you. Not conventionally, but since when do we do anything the conventional way?”

Sherlock smiles slightly, but says nothing, so John continues,  “I was always looking for someone who’d stick with me, someone to spend my life with. Well, you’re it for me, Sherlock, and if that’s a problem for you, you’d better tell me right now, because otherwise, you’re stuck with me for good.”

“Not a problem,” Sherlock says, and there’s an expression on his face John has never seen before. Soft and gentle and hopeful. “You’re it for me as well.” He pauses. “And - I love you too. In case that was in any way unclear.”

John smiles, overcome with relief. “So that’s a yes, then? To the whole marriage, adopt the Gremlin, stay with me forever thing?”

“Yes,” Sherlock says, brushing a soft kiss over their joined hands. “That’s a yes.”

I think I never wrote Ace Sherlock/heterosexual John before, but there's a first time for everything. Fluff of the tooth-rotting variety here, sorry for the sappiness two days in a row.

Thanks for keeping us going with the challenges, @calaisreno!

Tagging a few people again: @keirgreeneyes @helloliriels @jrow @meetinginsamarra @catlock-holmes @khorazir @lisbeth-kk @thetimemoves @topsyturvy-turtely @fluffbyday-smutbynight @7-percent @the-reading-lemon and anyone else who wants to play!

[lemonluvgirl]

Okay, Chica - A G rated prompt: Katniss gets goosebumps when she holds Peeta's hands.

Thank you to the INCREDIBLE @mega-aulover for this prompt :) I hardly get the excuse to try and write fluff and I have to say I enjoyed the entire exercise!

She'd like to say that getting close to Peeta again was as easy as breathing, but that would be a lie.

It wasn't easy. It was difficult. Full of false starts and awkward interludes and enough unsaid words to fill a shelf of books. Katniss understood this because she knew there was no way to ever truly start over with Peeta Mellark, even if she truly and deeply wished she could erase the past year of him being captured, tortured, and everything that followed until the end of the war.

There were layers of history and trauma in between them, and Peeta wasn't always aware of the context or meaning that colored their interactions, but neither was he oblivious. He felt things and picked up on things and he could still read the room with startling precision.

He remembered odd snippets sometimes, and the major events of their history together but the day-to-day workings of their relationship (which was still stuck in some strange place between cautious allies on good days and distrustful antagonists on the bad ones) seemed to puzzle him at first when he came back if not downright confuse him.

He legitimately didn't understand why Gale hadn't come back to District 12 with her after she had been exiled.

They got into it one night after seeing his face pop up on the nightly newscast. He asked questions with an internal compulsion that she had come to recognize. It was an extension of his 'Real or Not Real' mechanism.

The coping strategy he defaulted to when something just didn't sit right in his mind. And she knew that it was finally time to tell him why Gale hadn't come home, why she hadn't wanted him to accompany her back, why it might be better if he just stayed away indefinitely. Or at least until the still razor-sharp pain she got inside her chest every time she thought of him lessened somewhat.

So she told him about that day outside the president's mansion. She told him about the bombs and about what Snow said in the rose garden. About Coin and her tests of loyalty at the victor's meeting. She told him about Gale and Beetee's bombs and how no one knew for sure how it had happened, who had given the authorization, or what design they had used.

But the implication hung heavy in the air as it had that day that Gale had come to bring her the final arrow to end the war.

"So that's why he's not here." That had been his only reply. Katniss had nodded, not looking at him, lost in her thoughts about how far they had all come from the people they had once been three years ago.

Peeta had taken her silence and had wadded through it, unafraid to confront the dark waters that threatened to drown out the moment of honesty between them.

"There are a hundred reasons why he's not here." Katniss finally replied looking at him and finding his blue eyes dark, sad, and full of that special kind of empathy that never felt inconsequential, or cheap. Even as lost in his own mind as he tended to get sometimes, Peeta's reactions to other people's pain were the same as they used to be. Pure and noble, and not stemming from any misguided sense of pity.

His hand reached over to cover hers, and he enfolded her own small hand into his grasp. Goosebumps spread from the place where his skin touched hers.

"I'm so sorry Katniss." He said, tone even and quiet. "We were all forced to do horrible things in the games, and in the war, but that really is something terrible to try and come back from. But maybe with time you and he could—"

"There's no coming back, Peeta." She said cutting him off.

"But, if you could find it in your heart to forgive me after I tried to kill you then surely you and Gale can work this out. You two have been through so much together."

Katniss nearly recoiled at not only his words but the earnestness with which he said them.

"Everyone's been through a lot these past two years. You included. I don't need to work out anything with Gale. He can stay right where he is for the foreseeable future."

"But you love him," Peeta said quietly, but his eyes were confused and his brows were pulled down and tight together.

She shook her head slowly at him, recognizing immediately the familiar tone of his voice. It usually preceded a barrage of questions in the real or not real vien.

"No, Peeta. I don't. Gale was never the one I loved. Not like that. "

"Well, my memory isn't the most reliable but from what I've pieced together about you two before the games, and then everything that came after, I was sure..." He trailed off and she reached out and hesitantly placed her hand over his. He looked down and frowned slightly, but in a way that illustrated his confusion.

"I wasn't. When I came home after the first arena all I wanted was for things to go back to the way they had been before, clear-cut and easy. But I couldn't go back. And trying to feel something for Gale beyond friendship was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. I just didn't know how to let go of that part of my life, where all I needed was my bow, the woods, my sister, and my best friend. I might have loved him once, the way you love someone who is like family to you. But I was never in love with him. I've finally learned the difference between real and not real when it comes to that. " She said it with such surety, such conviction, and the way she stared at him. It was like her gray eyes were trying to press some kind of message into him.

He looked startled by her words at first, then he blinked, and it was like he was seeing her clearly for the first time.

Well, maybe not for the first time. There had been many moments where the secret and mysterious nature of the inscrutable Katniss Everdeen was revealed to him in snapshots and quick glances. Like catching sight of something that arrests your eyes right before the door snaps shut.

But looking at Katniss at that moment Peeta knew the door wasn't going to close this time.

No, the warmth of her hand in his, and the look in her eyes told him that this time the door was open for him, as long as he was brave enough to walk through it.

[rei-does-stuff]

Some SaH ocs I’ve made with @sah-headcanons !!!!

Might be a little incoherent but I hope I’m making it a little clear <33

First up is Kaeleomel! (Meaning Caramel in Korean!)

So you know Guemsaegi’s unnamed sister we see in his whole dream sequence where we first see Bamsaegi, well we never see her again after this and why is that?

Wellllll we decided it’s because she’s a defector, moving to the SaH equivalent of Europe or something and not just that but she is married to a Weasel! Nampyeon! (Meaning husband, so creative right? /s)

Geumsaegi, obviously, does not like this! Like at all! Since y’know, I imagine leaving the country and marrying the enemy would probably be pretty frowned upon in Flower Hill—

Geum sees her once and calls her a traitor, refusing to acknowledge her existence or even that he had a sister (which is why she’s never mentioned!)

Kaeleomel and Nampyeon would have kids and Geum probably wouldn’t look at any of them favorably either. “Hopefully these things will have more sense than you.”

I’d like to imagine during an argument Geum would use Bamsaegi as a way to be like “Now he’s alone and YOUR fault” Bc of course we need to make Bamsaegi suffer more than he already has (my favorite pass time!)

Kaeleomel would try to reason with Geum at first but Geum just literally wouldn’t understand why Flower Hill is bad and why the Enemy aren’t bad, it would be a very frustrating conversation for sure

She still tries to convince Geum even now, she knows deep deep DEEP down he still cares about her so she’s desperately trying to get through to him

I imagine when she still was in flower hill they were very very close

If she ever got hurt Geum would probably send a letter saying that she has a home in flower hill, and that she should come back and that it’s “not too late for you” along with some chestnut cakes and of course a lily bell

Kaeleomel loves Bamsaegi, even if she’s pretty disappointed that he became a soldier, but would mainly pity him, esp if she learns that he basically gave up being a scientific career for it, and that Geum encouraged it alongside making Bam more paranoid of enemy attacks,

Bamsaegi, in turn, is very conflicted, since he cares about his sister but now that’s she’s directly involved with the enemy he’s mainly just confused on what to think, esp since Geum is basically his dad so at times it feels like he has to choose between them

Kaeleomel got word of Bamsaegi being send by Flower Hill on a mission where he ended up almost dying in a gas chamber and still being expected to fight, I think she’d be pissed

It would probably be the one time she’d try to go to flower hill, just to visit him

And what’s worse is that Bam would still be like “I have to go back, I have to fight” even if he’s literally in the hospital

(Which like, Geum basically did the same thing, father like son)

She’d loath commander Darami and Goseumdochi

They’d visit Bam in the hospital to congratulate him for trying to sacrifice his life for Flower Hill and telling him to go back once he’s recovered and Kaeleomel sees this and is “HES LITERALLY DYING???? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??”

Nampyeon we decided is directly related to Aekku, with them being brothers, just to add more sting to everything. He’s willing to keep his mouth shut only to keep his wife safe, of course. He doesn’t like Geumsaegi at all.

He’s a lot more pessimistic than Kaeleomel, thinking there’s no point in trying to convince Geum or Bam of anything since he doesn’t think they’ll ever listen

He’s also a therapist <3

Next is Eolin (which just means young in Korean)

She’s a little weasel girl! (The daughter of this unnamed weasel)

Geumsaegi meets her whilst undercover and since she doesn’t realize he’s a Squirrel and not a field mouse and thinks Geum and his dad are friends she tries to form a bond with him much to Geumsaegi’s dismay. He sees the kid constantly though, basically haunting his narrative that the enemy are all evil and horrible as the kid repeatedly tries to befriend him, he consistently has to interact with them and pretend to be nice but each time that mask starts to slip

The kid makes him drawings and other small gifts that at first Geumsaegi just throws away in secret but even he starts to keep one or two small things, he tells himself it’s because it can be used as evidence or something to use against the enemy but deep down he knows that’s a lie.

That is basically it <3

[myriadparacosm]

Black Beats Black - snippet chapter 7: Ambrosia

“Thank you,” she says with a last look at their friends before her intense viridian eyes fall on him. “Remus, I understand that you don't want to talk about it but I would rather be honest with you. I don't want you to be mad.”

Remus frowns at her, slowly getting more and more worried. “What do you mean?”

“I know.”

“What?” His lips can't help but tick with a bit of humor. 

She brazenly holds his gaze with a grim seriousness but he can't properly make sense of it. Her last words were about Sirius, looking for details, and Regulus but Remus is sure she has understood his point. He won't come near their relationship even if it hurts– without even considering Sirius choosing one of them.

“Remus, I know.”

It takes him a blink to fully grasp on what she says. Lily stops at his side with a conflicted expression. She tries to make it seem less grave but Remus is still slowly crushed at what she means. There aren't many options that don't make him feel sick. Her insistence about Sirius, their fight and his brother freezes him with a vague nausea.

“You…”

Remus knows well enough that she is smart and they are close enough for her to know how to read him. It's still a slap to his face that she might have figured out his feelings for Sirius– why would she insist otherwise? He had believed that outside of the dorm his thoughts and feelings were perfectly hidden.

“It's not that obvious,” she softly says but her encouragement falls flat. “You know how to cover your back, but I might care too much about you to ignore all the hints.”

“Does anyone else know?” Remus croaks out, feeling faint and he hastily starts walking to the castle to feel somewhat in control.

Lily follows him and, despite the distance between them two and the others, keeps her voice down.

“James confirmed-”

“Bloody-”

“But I was already sure of it myself,” Lily insists. “It was by accident that we talked about it. Nothing more. But Remus, it changes nothing. Alright? Nothing.”

“Do we really need to talk about it?”

“No, not really but– I want you to know that I'm on your side, Remus. Always will be.”

She carefully grabs his arm before slipping hers into its crook when he doesn't move away. Remus still refuses to meet her eyes, staring at Sirius from afar who chats with his brand-new friends.

He can't believe that he has been obvious even now, after everything that happened - the pain that Sirius caused to him when Remus had been feverishly believing that he found his people. Someone who doesn't mind his horrible curse and all the complications he brings onto the table.

“It changes everything,” he mutters because while he isn't afraid of the repercussions of being queer, he is terrified at the idea that his feelings get out, especially at this point when they make little sense. “Do you think Sirius knows?”

Lily is frighteningly silent for a few seconds. “What do you mean? Of course, he knows.”

Remus freezes. She stares at him in confusion but still holds on to him with a soft care in her fingers. He thought it couldn't get worse.

“No, he– that's impossible.”

Sirius would have said something, definitely a bad thing, just to reassure Remus that they will stay good friends but never more because that would be too much. Perhaps he would completely ignore it, Remus would prefer that option but only if he stayed ignorant; how does Sirius look at him if he knows that Remus loves him?

“What are you talking about? I know he has been helping you all these years. Just like James and Peter.”

Remus hysterically jerks away. Lily stumbles a step but saves herself with an astonished look that melts in worries. He clears his throat, too fast and too roughly but he can't breathe and feels like he should crawl away in the Forbidden Forest right now.

“What are you talking about?”

She purses her lips and exhales. “I'm talking about your lycanthropy.”

He is completely daft– it's even worse. That Sirius knows, naturally, and Lily has pieced together. James dared to also confirm it to her and now Remus’ shameful secret, one of but it is easily the worst he realises now, is out to one of the few people he wants to keep in his life.

[ripplestitchskein]

I'm new to stolitz and HB and your takes/ your essay was a breath of fresh air. Maybe it's because I'm new here in the HB fandom, but I've seen more people talking shit about Stolas/"Stolas fans" than actual "toxic" Stolas fans? And don't get me started on those horrible ass takes calling Stolas a sexual assaulter/abuser or comparing Stolitz to Angel and Valentino, likening Stolas to Valentino.

It bothers the heck out of me but at the end of the day, with more exposure to that noise I can navigate how to tune it out and they can stay bitter and talk shit about everything they watch while we wait for "Full Moon"

Welcome Nonnie! Thank you so much! I’ve really missed doing things like this. It’s been awhile since I interacted this heavily with a fandom as nothing has really caught my brain this intensely for a long time so it’s nice to discover likeminded people in it. I’m new too! We can be new together.

It’s funny, I didn’t even know about HB until after I watched Hazbin, I had seen literally zero things about it, and while I had heard of Hazbin over the years and had seen Alastor I didn’t know what it was, I thought it was one of those popular dating sims, or like a new tumblr sexy man thing I hadn’t heard about which is hilarious to me now. A bunch of my IRL friends were talking about Hazbin a lot though and I love musical theater and have been on a personal art journey for a while (it started as getting better at art for video games, I’m a software engineer, but turned into me making a comic somehow because I’m a lifelong writer too) and the art style intrigued me so I decided to check it out. I loved it a lot, but like a normal amount. When I came on here people were talking about Helluva Boss so I’m like “ooh, more content” so we watched that and my brain saw Stolas and Stolitz and started the sirens. Like literally a “Oh no I love him” moment in LooLoo Land.

There are just characters and ships that hit just right. Imagine my surprise when I went into fandom spaces and there were people with these crazy interpretations of them and of Stolas I couldn’t reconcile with what I’d just watched. Like at all. Well I was surprised, but I’ve been around a fandom or two so I wasn’t that surprised but in this instance it was especially strange to me. It didn’t jive AT ALL with the show I just watched. Honestly, that intrigued me as much as the ship did.

Especially the Stolas takes. I’m like “This guy? This complete dork who is trying to mirror what his crush wants so bad he might as well be made of silvered glass?” “Evil Sexual assaulter? The guy in the royal romper who sings to his daughter and gets excited over legal contracts and makes silly little owl noises? This is the guy who has some evil sexual coercion plot over the dude who threatened to fuck his employees 11 minutes into the show and can’t go ten minutes without saying cum?” It was REALLY confusing let me tell you. Like you have this really fucked up reality where murder is A-Okay and characters that say vile shit to each other as a matter of course and people are all up in arms about a transactional sexual relationship? It just seemed like one of the least problematic things some of these characters do lol and I felt like I was in a room where something important happened and I missed it.

I’m pretty good about taking in different views, because of my ND I try really hard to understand where people are coming from and kind of assume I missed something everyone else knew from being in the fandom for so long, that being new I didn’t know, but the more I looked into it the more it seemed tied to an interpretation of the character that wasn’t in what I had watched. I watched the VivziePop channel playlist which does not have the Pilot. When I found out about the original Pilot some quotes made a *little* more sense especially with the huge gaps in content releases, but I’m still fucking baffled a lot of the time tbh. Sometimes I feel like these people are watching an entirely different show based on that Pilot and our social media have crossed universes.

I’m used to this though, the last major characters to take over my brain were MXTX characters, Bakugou from MHA and Killian Jones before that so I am pretty used to people having character interpretations who can’t get past first impressions, and ignore like literally years of development. (More about the last two, the MXTX fandom is one of the best I’ve been in, everyone seems to be really happy with the canon content there all around, I can’t think of any hate I’ve ever seen about any character tbh, even the actual villains. Fan fiction game is on point too, so many good writers in that fandom).

I’m also used to people ascribing love of a fictional character to a real life moral failing. My view has always been that I enjoy more complex characters and stories that aren’t always squeaky clean because it’s fiction and it’s fucking boring if everyone in it are these perfect unflawed cardboard cutouts who always act the right way, never hurt other people, and never make mistakes or fuck up or miscommunicate. People approaching relationships from differing points of view, struggling with darkness and trauma, and reconciling their issues especially together or to BE together is the fucking BEST thing about fiction.

Fandoms are fucking bizarre is what I’ve ultimately landed on. And they don’t understand what toxic means. Or problematic. Like just plain do not understand those words.

We’ll be fine Nonnie! Let’s just keep flailing over things we love, crying over the angst train that is surely coming full speed at our faces (and will probably have to deal with for years because of the release schedule), and enjoy theorizing, speculating, analyzing and creating content with other like minded people! Come vent in my inbox anytime and I’ll keep writing War and Peace length essays about 15 minute long episodes.

Seriously though, the man wears a ROYAL THEMED ROMPER how could ANYONE hate him? I love him so much.

I will say the one downside of this fandom is I know more about avian genitalia and reproduction than I ever needed to.

[fitzrove]

One undertheorised aspect of Elisabeth [yes I'm approaching the show like a research field] is that of the POV in Mayerling. Setting aside/ignoring my favourite interpretation (ie. Lucheni's POV colours every scene from beginning to end), I started thinking: could it be we're seeing it through Elisabeth's eyes?

The first time Elisabeth acknowledges the mirror imagery (which is built between her and Rudolf in the Vienna-based productions) is literally right after his death - "you were like me, you needed me / I left you on your own to free myself -- / The fault is mine". She seems to see "the truth" (what the show has constructed for us to see from the start - Elisabeth's emancipation and Rudolf's isolation) and blames herself for it. And that "truth", as it is represented in the show, includes (personified) Death.

But is it really "the truth", or is it what Elisabeth has come up with in her long solitary hours despairing in the crypt? Has she, while mourning him, just begun to think back on everything she knows about Rudolf and reinterpreted his life as a nightmare similar to her own - looking to Death for guidance and comfort and yet suffering as a result? Maybe Elisabeth isn't just observing; she's interpreting and creating (the narrative) before our eyes. What we see happen to Rudolf before that point is her hindsight. And ok the implications are kind of horrifying especially for Schatten reprises where Tod really goes at it physically, like, her imagining Rudolf suffering like that - like she has with depression as well, in DLT and WITW - over and over (in Mayerling too) and not being able to stop it because he's already dead.

Granted, there are some things that make this less likely: ie. the overall strength of the Lucheni interpretation (I think it's the canon one honestly, there's too much evidence to ignore) as well as the historical fact that Elisabeth remained mostly ignorant of Rudolf's political writings and aspirations even after his death, but it's still interesting to think about.

In any case I don't think Rudolf is in control of his own narrative like traditional fictional characters are - and why should he be, he's a minor character in a show using storybook/circus/etc aesthetics as an artistic device. He's in control of his actions within that narrative (ie. Elisabeth saying his death is her fault is not really true), but he's really a plot device. And therefore:

1)conspiracy bad XDD

2) Mirror imagery good, hence removing the mayerling kiss horribly bad

3) what if Elisabeth made up Mama, schatten reprise and Mayerling after the fact, while despairing and overthinking what she could've done differently during Totenklage (out of all the candidates for "narrator"/POV character, Rudolf is just about the unlikeliest person in the show - he's only born halfway in and dies before it ends)

Fourth point under the cut for whining XD Might delete that part later

4) i keep saying this ad nauseam but we do not really need more/expanded mayerling (or rudolf immorality) stuff in the show ahsjfkggkkf. I get that in terms of history and the public sphere, we need justice and spotlight for Mary, but the show is about the death of liberal politics through Rudolf and it's already unclear to some people so we don't need to make it more confusing for them. Based on the level of reading comprehension online re my favourite shows I don't trust people to understand the symbolic death of liberal Europe in the face of Hass AND the rudolf-elisabeth mirror imagery AND Rudolf as a historical person being complicated and shitty. The last one can be brought into it through acting I think, but we don't need to change the staging to be heavier on the historical Mayerling stuff. You can criticise the portrayal, you can think Elisabeth does a bad job of portraying Rudolf and normalizes abuse or murder or something, but you can't really change how it's depicted without wrecking the architecture of the show. Rudolf literally has no canon personality beyond "sad" [being gay for death is part of this] and "struggling politically"

I promise i'm not sexist and horrible btw akjsjdjdfkgkg. But like legit. Rudolf already comes as a matching set with the mayerling affair in the public sphere. Elisabeth is like the only thing where his political legacy (or lack thereof) is of equal importance, and the portrayal is generally sympathetic. I'm not saying we can't do more rudolf media that addresses it with more complexity, but Elisabeth is not the time or place - especially since if we did include more of the Mary stuff (as a staging choice, since the script is set), it would almost certainly fail to do anything meaningful in terms of her historical legacy, given that she wouldn't be named (can't stop the mayerling sequence to give a spoken rundown of events...), and her life and personality beyond the circumstances of her death would once again be overshadowed by her ending up in Mayerling

[qua-qua-qua]

whats your favorite programming language?

ooh that’s hard mind if i go for a bit of a rant? (also i might use some terms you don’t know you can usually find them by googling “<langauge> <concept>” or smth similar or you can ask me)

tl;dr rust is my favorite

so my first language was javascript(/html/css). and it’s a *horrible* language for tons of reasons (that’s a separate rant). but it’s gotten a bunch of nice features recently and i’ve found myself almost liking it somehow. i’m like half convinced it’s stockholm syndrome but who knows. it’s not really a contender for my favorite per se, but i might be most comfortable in it? it’s certainly my favorite scripting language.

the language with the best syntax imo is swift. i love it bc it feels very well designed and the syntax feels very intuitive and clean coming from javascript (as in it fixes some warts i don’t like about js/many c-family languages). one thing i particularly like (and miss in literally every other language) is the ability to infer the object that a property is being applied to. that’s kinda confusing without an example so basically:

let color: Color // some other stuff color = .green // instead of Color.green

it’s super minor but i love it so much and it’s a shame fewer languages have done something similar. i don’t really have many other thoughts on swift though since i haven’t used it in a while. it gets a bad rep as an “apple language” bc they made it, even though it’s open source, has its own organization, and can run anywhere. but bc of that it doesn’t have an amazing ecosystem for running outside of apple devices, so no one does it. it’s a chicken and egg problem. anyways. i want to use it more to try it but haven’t gotten around to it.

okay haskell i’m not very good at it i learned it recently but i absolutely love the functional style. i miss it in all other languages. especially currying. i love functional programming but i have a hard time when everything is perfectly pure. also monads are super cool and i love finding them in other languages. oh i also miss function composition. a lot. it’s so ridiculously useful. i think i’ll enjoy haskell much much more once i get used to it.

finally, what i would say is generally my favorite: rust. it’s very well designed, and i love the zero-cost abstractions. basically (the rust website explains it much better) they mean that rust is about as fast as c, and much faster than any c i could write (and probably as fast as any c an expert could write). i love having everything be so fast but also not having to worry about a ton of low level details eg memory management. (i can’t write a c program for the life of me without leaking memory, causing undefined behavior, or both 💀). perhaps my favorite part of rust is the ecosystem and tooling. cargo (the package manager and build system) is absolutely wonderful and just works™. like literally always. i have zero problems with dependencies and compiling and running and even cross compiling*. and the ecosystem is equally amazing. there’s a crate for pretty much anything under the sun and they’re all open source!! i love how i can just go and look at the code behind the libraries i use just by clicking on “go to definition” in my IDE. and it’s not uncommon for me to be able to understand it too!! and there we go end of rant rust is fun.

\* with one exception: when the rust code links to c code. which is mostly pretty rare but does happen.

actually i lied about ending the rant. i should probably mention python. not because i like it, but bc you prob know it, or at least of it. i’m neutral on it. i don’t know it very well. i wouldn’t say it’s bad, but it’s also not very good. the biggest thing it has going for it is that almost everyone knows it. and it’s a fine scripting language. i’m just not a huge fan personally. (one of my friends would murder me for saying this lmao they love python).

okay sorry for saying so much but um if you have any questions about any of it feel free to ask!!

[doctorbrown]

MCFLY JULY ‘24 ⸺ 「 2 / 31 * VIDEO RENTAL 」

“Uncle Marty! Hey!” Verne’s shout is more a hushed whisper carving into his back and it took two increasingly sharper shouts to properly pull his attention away from the back of Doc’s head as he followed him down the hall toward the lab where something secret lay in wait.

Come here! Verne beckons him over with an enthusiastic wave and Marty can see the irritation writing itself across his face, clear as day. Whatever it is, it’s either urgent or important, and Marty looks between him and Doc, needing only a moment to contemplate his next course of action.

“You go on ahead, Doc. I’ll catch up with you in a minute.”

“Sure,” comes the immediate reply without so much as a poke or a prod into what might have come up. “You know where the lab is. If you happen to see Clara, tell her it’s almost ready.”

Despite his mounting confusion, Marty readily agrees and Doc disappears down the hall without so much as a glance back over his shoulder.

“Good—you didn’t make Dad suspicious.” Marty knits his brows together, immediately catching on to the tell-tale signs of adolescence—sneaking around, not wanting your parents to find out about the things you were doing…

He’s been seeing more and more of himself in Verne at that age.

God help me and Jen when Ellie and Emmett are teenagers…

“So you know my birthday’s in a week, right Uncle Marty?”

That tone of voice makes him already certain of where this conversation is going before he even has to ask. Next week, Verne will be thirteen, and whatever he’s about to ask him about is something that Doc and Clara would either be vehemently against him having or something he thinks he can’t ask them for. “What do you want me to get you that you don’t want Doc and Clara to know about?”

Verne’s eyes go comically wide and in the span of a single minute, nearly the entire spectrum of human emotion flickers across his face, making it perfectly clear Marty had got it right on the first guess. He attempts—and fails—to play it off, the attempt at teenage indifference coming off horribly forced.

“It’s nothing bad, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Marty gives him a look. “Really! A couple of my friends were talking about a movie marathon—we wanna watch a bunch of horror films.” Verne jams his hand into his pocket and pulls out a sheet of paper folded in half and wrinkled.

“Eddie’s letting us watch at his place; we just need to get the films. And since none of us are old enough to get ‘em, I was thinking maybe you could, Uncle Marty.” “Uh-huh…” comes the non-committal reply as Marty unfolds the paper, reading through the five titles written there. The Exorcist, Alien, The Thing, Nightmare on Elm Street… “Jesus, Verne, you want to watch all of these? In one night? Some of these are seriously creepy—you’re not going to be able to sleep for a month!”

Verne waves a hand, puffing out his chest and grinning with all the confidence and arrogance of a teenager—almost—who thinks he’s impervious to anything and everything life could throw at him. For a split second, Marty is staring at an almost exact copy of himself when he was young, arguing with Dave that he wasn’t some stupid kid anymore, he was an adult. “They’re just movies, Uncle Marty. They’re not real.”

“Uh-huh…” If Verne catches the obvious scepticism dripping from his tone, he never comments on it.

Though it's hard to imagine anything more terrifying than time-travel and the constant fear that even the smallest mistake carried twice the destructive power of a nuclear weapon, with the potential to wipe out everything and everyone you ever knew or cared about—

“Please? I can’t ask Mom or Dad about this because Mom would say they’re too violent and you know Dad; if Mom puts her foot down, he’ll go along with it, even if he’d say yes on his own.”

“You’ve got a point there.” Marty folds up the list and stuffs it into his pants pocket. “I can’t see Doc ever saying no because it’s too scary. Yeah, he’s not a big fan of violence and I don’t think he’s ever really liked horror films—I remember him saying once they were all poorly made and very predictable—but that wouldn’t sway his opinion.” If anything, he’s almost certain Doc would let him watch it and even sit and suffer through the film with him to turn it into a valuable lesson.

Verne’s eyes sparkle. “So you’ll do it? You’ll get ‘em for us?”

“Alright, alright.” Something tells me I’m gonna regret this. He finds himself mentally apologising to Doc and Clara already. “I’ll bring them by in a couple of days.”

“You’re the best, Uncle Marty!”

[dontbotherwiththepronunciation]

I really wish we could talk about Jeyne bullying Arya without people going completely feral, because as someone who was bullied (tragicomically involving the nickname "horseface" and even neighing when I walked by), and who can't even watch high school comedies like mean girls without wanting to die, I feel like it's so reductive to deny any possibility of conflict between the Arya-Jeyne-Sansa dynamic that is more than "mean girls vs pretty-but-doesn't-know-it-yet-girl situation" or "violent paranoid schizophrenic with a persecution complex feels victimised by girls who actually do their schoolwork" while still acknowledging Jeyne as a bully and Arya as a victim.

Jeyne is such a weird character to me, because I never feel this attached to the archetype she embodies.

And still, her dynamic with the two Stark sisters is interesting and the confusion in fandom is COMPLETELY fascinating and borderline triggering to witness, because it reminds me a lot to how a class of high schoolers reacts to *gasps, looks around to see no one is listening and whispers* bullying *lightning and thunder strike on the background to signify the gravity of such a word*.

Person A: What? What are you talking about?! She is exaggerating everything! Sansa never called her that! It was only Jeyne and I bet she only did it once! Person B: Oh, no it was just Jeyne who did it. Sansa told her to stop, but she just kept at it because she is less educated. Person C: No, Jeyne was actually just doing it to impress Sansa. Sansa is the real villain here. DontbotherwiththepronunciationIn2013: I don't think "bullying" is the right term. It's not that bad, Arya should get over it. It was just hurtful teasing.

Now I realise that "hurtful teasing" is in fact bullying.

So, if going by canon:

I think Jeyne came up with the name "Horseface".

I think Jeyne used to neigh at Arya when she was passing.

I think Sansa probably used that name at some point in her life or maybe multiple times.

I think that silence bestows. I think inaction can be encouraging more action. I think passiveness can be as harming as aggressiveness.

I do NOT however think that neither Jeyne nor Sansa are inherently despicable evil people for bullying Arya. I think they are still children. I think, like in most situations involving bullying and children, it's the adults who are at fault for not putting a stop to it, and sometimes even encouraging it.

Before starting to rant, I want to say:

I don't consider myself an expert on any of these characters!!!!!

So if I'm saying something disproportionately wrong in the following, I am open to being corrected.

With that said, I think this is a network of issues, most of them involving socioeconomic classes and period-compliant misogyny. I think it might look like this:

I know that focussing on this is a little pointless because the three main actors involved in this have been violently removed from the situation, (and most of the remaining cast is dead) but at the same time their possible future reunion will be even more violent and they probably won't even have time to cope.

And I can't sleep and I feel horrible and I already drew that dumb mind-map on my phone.

So, I'm starting with the least tangled component in this thing.

Ⅰ. The passive perpetrator, Blind Beth Cassel

To her sister and sister's friends and all the rest, she had just been Arya Horseface. - The Blind Girl, ADWD

I have loved the "Blind Beth" concept since I first read it.

It's so interesting to me how the most Beth interested part of fandom is the Theon corner, yet in the entire Arya-Sansa narrative she barely appears and rarely in meta. The closest I've come to find analysis on Beth & Sansa was in this gorgeous collage highlighting them as victims of violence from different sources in ACOK, but asides from that, there isn't much there. And at least with Sansa I can understand it. Sansa doesn't think of Beth once in the entire books. Arya on the other hand names one of her many identities after Beth and I think the characteristic chosen to describe that persona was a very smart and painful reminder from GRRM.

Arya thinks of Beth Cassel in two occasions. Once in AGOT, when we first meet them,

She studied her own work again, looking for some way to salvage it, then sighed and put down the needle. She looked glumly at her sister. Sansa was chatting away happily as she worked. Beth Cassel, Ser Rodrik's little girl, was sitting by her feet, listening to every word she said, and Jeyne Poole was leaning over to whisper something in her ear. "What are you talking about?" Arya asked suddenly. Jeyne gave her a startled look, then giggled. Sansa looked abashed. Beth blushed. No one answered. "Tell me," Arya said. "Joffrey likes your sister," Jeyne whispered, proud as if she had something to do with it. She was the daughter of Winterfell's steward and Sansa's dearest friend. "He told her she was very beautiful." "He's going to marry her," little Beth said dreamily, hugging herself. "Then Sansa will be queen of all the realm." Sansa had the grace to blush. She blushed prettily. She did everything prettily, Arya thought with dull resentment. "Beth, you shouldn't make up stories," Sansa corrected the younger girl, gently stroking her hair to take the harshness out of her words. - Arya I, AGOT

AND once in Braavos, when she is thinking of her life a Winterfell,

"Beth." She had known a Beth once, back at Winterfell when she was Arya Stark. Maybe that was why she'd picked the name. Or maybe it was just because it went so well with blind. - The Blind Girl, ADWD

Our first assumption as readers to the name "Beth" going so well with "blind" is because it is an alliteration. Who doesn't love alliterations? Tell me you don't love Sir Gawain and the Green Knight with all it's stylistic devices! They are lovely. And perhaps "Blind Beth" is only one of GRRM's alliterations acknowledged by a character.

Or perhaps "Blind" and "Beth" also go so well with each other, because apparently, and basing this from Arya's POV (the only one involving Sansa, Jeyne & Beth all together), Beth is a passive perpetrator. The typical class mate who pretends not to see the bullying and the way it affects the victim. The one who is decent or even kind when alone, but alienating when they are accompanied by a group.

I have seen certain takes claiming that Arya's POV in AGOT isn't a reliable source when involving the dynamic between her and the other girls in Winterfell.

That is possible, but she is our only source. As said, Sansa doesn't ever think of Beth, so if I want to examine her it has to be through Arya's eyes.

I would like to take the scene in AGOT once again and look at it more closely this time.

She studied her own work again, looking for some way to salvage it, then sighed and put down the needle. She looked glumly at her sister. Sansa was chatting away happily as she worked. Beth Cassel, Ser Rodrik's little girl, was sitting by her feet, listening to every word she said, and Jeyne Poole was leaning over to whisper something in her ear.

The object composition is so carefully placed that I find it difficult to believe it is not supposed to have a meaning. Jeyne whispers into Sansa's ear, an image I often associate with a political advisor plotting or scheming with the ruler they serve (which she will remind me of again in future AGOT chapters). Beth has a lower position in the hierarchy She is sitting at Sansa's feet, completely enthralled to whatever it is Sansa says. She probably seeks her approval.

(There is this very sweet art depicting the image of Sansa, Beth and Jeyne and even if I kind of feel guilty for reading the scene as them alienating another girl and still enjoying the art, I still want to share it because it's very cute.)

"What are you talking about?" Arya asked suddenly. Jeyne gave her a startled look, then giggled. Sansa looked abashed. Beth blushed. No one answered.

Jeyne's reaction is alienating. She giggles and denies Arya the knowledge behind that sudden laughter. It always reminded me a little of how Theon's smiles are often described contemptuously, probably because people tend to think he is actually laughing/smiling at them. They think he is mocking them. I don't think this is something completely involuntarily. I think Jeyne knows that giggling when Arya is asking to be integrated to the group is painful to her. Sansa is described to look "abashed" which I take as uncomfortable. I thinks she is aware this is mean spirited. She still doesn't do anything, but she is at least "abashed". Beth seems to follow this reaction but her description is only physical, not necessarily tied to an explicit emotion. Still, they collectively refuse to include Arya into the conversation.

"Tell me," Arya said. "Joffrey likes your sister," Jeyne whispered, proud as if she had something to do with it. She was the daughter of Winterfell's steward and Sansa's dearest friend. "He told her she was very beautiful." "He's going to marry her," little Beth said dreamily, hugging herself. "Then Sansa will be queen of all the realm."

Arya has to insist to be accepted as part of the group. It is not Sansa who acts as the typical "Queen Bee" and grants her that privilege, but Jeyne. Jeyne is the one who speaks in a slightly haughty manner. Only after getting Jeyne's implicit permission does Beth make a comment. She is not described with any type of rancour by Arya.

Sansa had the grace to blush. She blushed prettily. She did everything prettily, Arya thought with dull resentment. "Beth, you shouldn't make up stories," Sansa corrected the younger girl, gently stroking her hair to take the harshness out of her words.

This is an interesting passage to me, but not because of Beth as a passive perpetrator, but because this is the first time I can think of where we are confronted with another monster that will play a role in here, the green-eyed beast;

Ⅱ. Envy

Not it's more mild mannered cousin jealousy that gets spoken of more in fandom, but envy!

Jealousy is usually seen as a less malevolent feeling, but the term is often used when actually referring to envy, so I will clarify that jealousy could be defined as a feeling of defensiveness and protectiveness over what you think to be yours and feel threatened or fearful of possibly losing it.

Envy is not protective or defensive, its offensive. It is a feeling of resentment over what another person or group has - be it a a material possession, a skill, or an emotional bond - and you feel you lack.

And oh boy, there is a lot of envy oozing from that medieval class room, some it more legitimate than other, but all felt.

Before continuing I want to clarify that Arya’s very real pain and low self-esteem, and the cruel ways in which Sansa sometimes treats her during AGOT shouldn't be dismissed as "deserved" or "exaggerated" because of her envy.

Ⅱ. Ⅰ. ARYA'S ENVY

Probably the easiest to locate.

In the formerly mentioned passage we see Arya being envious of Sansa. I would argue it's not up to interpretation since "with dull resentment" makes it very clear to me, but there is also tenderness. I don't think Arya hates Sansa, or at least not in that moment.

Something curious about envy is that it's not an entertaining sin. It's damaging not only to those you envy, but perhaps mostly to yourself. It is self-poisoning. And I think that during that scene Arya, isn't manifesting her envy. She very rarely verbalises it, instead she swallows her own anger and keeps it inside her. I couldn't find any passages where envy is the driving force on the few occasions Arya hurts Sansa. The closest I came to that is:

Arya wanted to scream. It was just like Sansa to go and attract the septa's attention. "Here," she said, surrendering up her work. - Arya I, AGOT

But even then, her envy only hurts herself.

Arya longs to be like Sansa. She wants to be considered as pretty as Sansa, she wants to be as skilled as her sister and to feel accepted by the other girls in the group.

It wasn't fair. Sansa had everything. Sansa was two years older; maybe by the time Arya had been born, there had been nothing left. Often it felt that way. Sansa could sew and dance and sing. She wrote poetry. She knew how to dress. She played the high harp and the bells. Worse, she was beautiful. Sansa had gotten their mother's fine high cheekbones and the thick auburn hair of the Tullys. Arya took after their lord father. Her hair was a lusterless brown, and her face was long and solemn. Jeyne used to call her Arya Horseface, and neigh whenever she came near. It hurt that the one thing Arya could do better than her sister was ride a horse. Well, that and manage a household. Sansa had never had much of a head for figures. If she did marry Prince Joff, Arya hoped for his sake that he had a good steward. - Arya I, AGOT

I find it curious how Arya starts off listing skills, yet the thing that pains her the most is related to her appearance.

What starts as painful envy becomes a self deprecating chuckle and later maybe even a half-optimistic outlook on her own strength. Arya recognises that she is not worthless or fully inferior to her sister. She is able to find qualities in herself and they way she does is endearing. She internally even makes fun of Sansa for not being as good as she is in this one little thing.

Sadly she is still aware of how in the eyes of most, Sansa is the one deemed worthy of admiration and emulation, while the best Arya can get is pity.

The septa examined the fabric. "Arya, Arya, Arya," she said. "This will not do. This will not do at all." Everyone was looking at her. It was too much. Sansa was too well bred to smile at her sister's disgrace, but Jeyne was smirking on her behalf. Even Princess Myrcella looked sorry for her. Arya felt tears filling her eyes. She pushed herself out of her chair and bolted for the door. - Arya I, AGOT

And Arya's envy doesn't come from simply being Arya, it comes from Arya not being seen as a valuable person by Westerosi society and, in my opinion, most importantly, by her mother.

I refer to the parent-child relationships on the whiteboard as "perceived", not because I deem them false or delusional, but because I've seen a lot of debate going around this topic and whether the favouritism is true or not and I don't know what to believe and honestly I don't care too much about it.

At this part of the conflict we don't really need to know if the Ned-Arya and Cat-Sansa favouritism is true or not. We just need to know that both girls feel some insecurity over their bond with their parents and feel envy.

Personally, I think both Stark parents love all their children deeply, it's just that love sometimes isn't perceived the way we want it to.

Both of her parents had conventional expectations for Arya, but it seems to me that Catelyn was the one who upheld these expectations while Ned acted more permissive. Eddard still intends for her to lead a life that is typical to that of a Lady,

"[...] And it is past time that Arya learned the ways of a southron court. In a few years she will be of an age to marry too." - Catelyn II, AGOT

But it's not Eddard who Arya is terrified of:

It was worse than Jon had thought. It wasn't Septa Mordane waiting in her room. It was Septa Mordane and her mother. - Arya I, AGOT

And it's not Eddard whom Arya often fears being rejected by or disappointing.

Her father tells Arya she remembers him of Lyanna, a woman who is not only remembered as beautiful but also as loved and desired, and also shared some of her interests, such as swordsmanship.

Her mother though..

"Sansa's work is as pretty as she is," Septa Mordane told their lady mother once. "She has such fine, delicate hands." When Lady Catelyn had asked about Arya, the septa had sniffed. "Arya has the hands of a blacksmith." - Arya I, AGOT

Sansa would shine in the south, Catelyn thought to herself, and the gods knew that Arya needed refinement. - Catelyn II, AGOT

“…my hair’s messy and my nails are dirty and my feet are all hard.” Robb wouldn’t care about that, probably, but her mother would. Lady Catelyn always wanted her to be like Sansa, to sing and dance and sew and mind her courtesies. Just thinking of it made Arya try to comb her hair with her fingers, but it was all tangles and mats, and all she did was tear some out.“ - Arya VII, ASOS

Her mother used to say she could be pretty if she would just wash and brush her hair and take more care with her dress, the way her sister did. - The Blind girl, ADWD

And a recurring pattern in those lines is a comparison to Sansa, the sister who is not constantly failing at fulfilling society's expectations on her. The sister who she wishes she could emulate while also staying true to the person she is. The sister who seems to act as a passive perpetrator of Jeyne's bullying and sometimes acts cruel herself.

Ⅱ. Ⅱ. SANSA'S ENVY AND EMBARASSEMENT

When I first read AGOT, I didn't like any of the Stark sisters. I actually think the only Stark I liked back then was Bran. I was about as old as they were, had my own issues with internalised misogyny and thought both of them were a little annoying. My views on both of them during AGOT have changed A LOT in the past ten years and while I like who they become as the books move n, much more than I like who they were at the beginning, I've become very fond of their AGOT selves. And I think they are children! Children make mistakes! Children are shallow and impulsive and hedonistic.

So, I don't think Arya is the only person here who has a few negatives feelings about her sister.

More than envy I think Sansa feels second-hand embarrassment by Arya's behaviour and wishes she wouldn't be associated with her, and this is something Arya is aware of.

She was barefoot and dirty, her hair tangled from the long run through the castle, clad in a jerkin ripped by cat claws and brown roughspun pants hacked off above her scabby knees. You don't wear skirts and silks when you're catching cats. Quickly she lowered her head and dropped to one knee. Maybe they wouldn't recognize her. If they did, she would never hear the end of it. Septa Mordane would be mortified, and Sansa would never speak to her again from the shame. - Arya III, AGOT

Arya looked down at her ragged clothes and bare feet, all cracked and callused. She saw the dirt under her nails, the scabs on her elbows, the scratches on her hands. Septa Mordane wouldn't even know me, I bet. Sansa might, but she'd pretend not to. - Arya V, ACOK

And we also see Sansa wanting to deny association between her and her sister multiple times during AGOT:

Why couldn't Arya be sweet and delicate and kind, like Princess Myrcella? She would have liked a sister like that. - Sansa I, AGOT

"Send Arya away, she started it, Father, I swear it. I'll be good, you'll see, just let me stay and I promise to be as fine and noble and courteous as the queen." - Sansa III, AGOT

"[...]I have only to remember how your sister set her wolf on my son." "I'm not like Arya," Sansa blurted. "She has the traitor's blood, not me. I'm good, ask Septa Mordane, she'll tell you, I only want to be Joffrey's loyal and loving wife." - Sansa IV, AGOT

Envy is something less present in Sansa's case, but I dare to think there is still a little of it lingering in her feelings. As if we had a cross involving affections and what is perceived by each Stark sister as a special relationship or favouritism between their fraternal foe and a respective parent.

One day she came back grinning her horsey grin, her hair all tangled and her clothes covered in mud, clutching a raggedy bunch of purple and green flowers for Father.  - Sansa II, AGOT

There is envy perhaps not of the relationship itself, but of the liberation that comes with it, but I don't even think this is actually Eddard's fault, I think this has more to do with the overall social conditioning of girlhood in Westeros and with another adult.

Ⅱ. Ⅲ. SEPTA MORDANE AND THE SOCIAL CONDITIONING

Septa Mordane sees Sansa as an exemplary student and she has reasons to do so. Sansa is a good and well mannered girls who fits into the model Septa Mordane is trying to shape the girls into. She performs her assigned gender roles with grace and is willingly doing so. Sansa enjoys being a Lady, it makes her feel worthy and it allows her to daydream and enjoy romantic hobbies like poetry or singing.

Arya doesn't. Partially because she rejects that model, partially because she id rejected by that model. I don't know what came first.

And yet, Sansa also sometimes seems to feel encaged by that model and by the Septa's teachings. And often, when Sansa does something that contradicts this model of conduct that she usually likes following, her thoughts go to Arya. She compares herself or gets compared to Arya, not necessarily in a pejorative manner, but almost seeing her sister as a little devil on her shoulder.

The kitchen yielded no lemon cakes, but they did find half of a cold strawberry pie, and that was almost as good. They ate it on the tower steps, giggling and gossiping and sharing secrets, and Sansa went to bed that night feeling almost as wicked as Arya. - Sansa III, AGOT

Sansa sighed. "They rode with Lord Beric, to behead Ser Gregor Clegane." She turned to Septa Mordane, who was eating porridge with a wooden spoon. "Septa, will Lord Beric spike Ser Gregor's head on his own gate or bring it back here for the king?" She and Jeyne Poole had been arguing over that last night. The septa was horror-struck. "A lady does not discuss such things over her porridge. Where are your courtesies, Sansa? I swear, of late you've been near as bad as your sister." - Sansa III, AGOT

"It was for love," Sansa said in a rush. "Father wouldn't even give me leave to say farewell." She was the good girl, the obedient girl, but she had felt as wicked as Arya that morning, sneaking away from Septa Mordane, defying her lord father. - Sansa IV, AGOT

And who is usually disapproving of Arya's ways and telling her she puts them to shame?

Septa Mordane called after her. "Arya, come back here! Don't you take another step! Your lady mother will hear of this. In front of our royal princess too! You'll shame us all!" - Arya I, AGOT

And knowing how much Sansa cares about the way she is perceived by others, I can imagine Sansa thinking in frustration that it's unfair she gets reprimanded for these type of things when Arya does them all the time without realising that Arya suffers constantly because if it. It's just that they are less common in Sansa, so people are more surprised and "hopeful" of rectifying them. Septa Mordane almost looks at Arya as a lost cause. When she nags at Sansa it's because she wants to avoid Sansa becoming another lost cause.

And it's not that Septa Mordane is an evil witch trying to make Arya's life impossible. As much as I dislike Eddard Stark, I agree with him. This woman is just doing the job he and Cat tasked her to do. It's that she is part of an institution where girls like Arya aren't as valued as girls like Sansa.

Personally, I think she is one of the people carrying the most responsibility over Arya's bullying. I wouldn't say she participates in it, but she enables it.

During AGOT Arya describes Septa Mordane in an unflattering way and it is one of the few occasions where I don't think I should fully trust her POV, because yes, this woman is antagonistic to Arya, but I don't think she hates her.

"Septa Mordane is beside herself with fear. She's in the sept praying for your safe return." - Arya III, AGOT

I think, in her own flawed way, she is trying to "help" Arya adapt into conventional views of gender and Arya is having none of that (good for her!).

"Just where do you think you are going, Arya?" the septa demanded. Arya glared at her. "I have to go shoe a horse," she said sweetly, taking a brief satisfaction in the shock on the septa's face. Then she whirled and made her exit, running down the steps as fast as her feet would take her. - Arya I, AGOT

"Pray, where do you think you are going, young lady?" Septa Mordane asked. "I'm not hungry." Arya found it an effort to remember her courtesies. "May I be excused, please?" she recited stiffly. "You may not," the septa said. "You have scarcely touched your food. You will sit down and clean your plate." "You clean it!" Before anyone could stop her, Arya bolted for the door as the men laughed and Septa Mordane called loudly after her, her voice rising higher and higher. - Arya II, AGOT

Arya spun around, with Needle in her hand. "You better not come in here!" she warned. She slashed at the air savagely. "The Hand will hear of this!" Septa Mordane raged. "I don't care," Arya screamed. "Go away." - Arya II, AGOT

Poor woman is so frustrated with her job she one day passes out drunk on the table.

And I think Sansa suffers under her too, not because she dislikes the customs and views on femininity - she often recalls on Septa Mordane's teachings in moments of emotional need (Lady's armour is courtesy, find the beauty in every man) - but I think that as readers we can see how those are harming for her too.

"I've never seen an aurochs," Sansa said, feeding a piece of bacon to Lady under the table. The direwolf took it from her hand, as delicate as a queen. Septa Mordane sniffed in disapproval. "A noble lady does not feed dogs at her table," she said, breaking off another piece of comb and letting the honey drip down onto her bread. - Sansa II, AGOT

Sansa cried as Septa Mordane marched them down the steps. They were going to take it all away; the tournaments and the court and her prince, everything, they were going to send her back to the bleak grey walls of Winterfell and lock her up forever. Her life was over before it had begun. "Stop that weeping, child," Septa Mordane said sternly. "I am certain your lord father knows what is best for you." - Sansa III, AGOT

That one last passage drives me wild when it comes to Jeyne Poole and you'll see why later.

So basically, Septa Mordane antagonises Arya for her failings as her student. The class (Beth, Sansa & Jeyne) emulates the teacher's disapproval and distaste, Sansa feels embarrassed by association and Jeyne Poole takes advantage of the situation and targets Arya.

And now I can finally get to the true object of my obsession here, beloved middle school mean girl:

Ⅲ. Jeyne Poole and her many mixed emotions

As said, I feel so weird about my love for this girl. People call Theon a "poor little meow meow" but when I first read these books I didn't see him as an anti-hero/minor-villain during ACOK, but more of my avenging hero. I had tears of rage when he was threatening to hang Beth but I was also weirdly cheering for him. Jeyne on the other hand, she is my poor little meow meow! She is my problematic fave! And she makes me cry like crazy and I hope she has the happiest ending in these goddamn books.

I probably feel more attached to her than I feel to Arya and Sansa. I don't understand this. Anyway, I have two possible assumptions for why Jeyne is always antagonising Arya. And yes, she IS ANTAGONISING Arya, even when Arya is no longer there.

"What are you talking about?" Arya asked suddenly. Jeyne gave her a startled look, then giggled. Sansa looked abashed. Beth blushed. No one answered. - Arya I, AGOT

Sansa was too well bred to smile at her sister's disgrace, but Jeyne was smirking on her behalf. - Arya I, AGOT

Jeyne used to call her Arya Horseface, and neigh whenever she came near. - Arya I, AGOT

Jeyne Poole had told Arya that he'd cut him up in so many pieces that they'd given him back to the butcher in a bag, and at first the poor man had thought it was a pig they'd slaughtered.  - Arya II, AGOT

It was all her fault, everything bad that had happened. Sansa said so, and Jeyne too. - Arya II, AGOT

"I saw your sister this afternoon," Jeyne blurted out, as if she'd been reading Sansa's thoughts. "She was walking through the stables on her hands. Why would she do a thing like that?" - Sansa III, AGOT

"I will be a better wife than the real Arya could have been, he'll see." - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

"Arya Underfoot. Your sister used to call you Arya Horseface." "It was me made up that name. Her face was long and horsey. Mine isn't. I was pretty." - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

You know, this entire thing started because I wanted to make a stupid joke but then I got more emotional and invested into this as I wrote, and now we are here and I don't even remember the actual joke I wanted to make so I have to improvise with the thing above.

I don't believe this is true either. There are absolutely no canon indications for Jeyne to have had been dealing with comphet and bullying Arya because of a crush (there is a rather fun fanfic though!) (and there is another but with angstier and subtler vibes and it's Theyne + Jeynsa). Although, in my opinion, there are a few other things; like class envy and projection!

Ⅲ. Ⅰ. JEYNE POOLE'S CLASS ENVY

I think hers is the most obvious case of envy, but unlike the envy between the Stark sisters it doesn't come from a place of emotional insecurity, but of socio-economical discomfort.

That is why I included "Beric Dondarrion" [insert highborn lord/knight] in that mind map.

Jeyne isn't envious of Arya's relationship with Ned Stark and much less of her skills. Jeyne is envious, and perhaps even particularly resentful, of the fact that Arya is offered AND rejects what Jeyne wishes but will always stay out of her reach.

I have joked about Jeyne's crush on Beric (and her possible implied crushes on Robb & Theon) in the past but I don't think I ever mentioned the class envy when doing so.

When [Jeyne] saw young Lord Beric Dondarrion, with his hair like red gold and his black shield slashed by lightning, she pronounced herself willing to marry him on the instant. - Sansa II, AGOT

She had seen Jeyne Poole giving [Robb] moist-eyed glances, and some of the serving girls, even ones as old as eighteen… - Catelyn XI, AGOT

"Help me." [Jeyne] clutched at [Theon]. "Please. I used to watch you in the yard, playing with your swords. You were so handsome." - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

All the men she seems to at some point in her life experience some form of attraction for, even if it is that of a child, it's a puppy crush, just infatuation, are people she would never have a chance with. Two (theoretically) future lord paramounts and a marcher lord. All of them unachievable to a steward's daughter. And with that in consideration, let's look at this:

Arya cocked her head to one side. "Can I be a king's councillor and build castles and become the High Septon?" "You," Ned said, kissing her lightly on the brow, "will marry a king and rule his castle, and your sons will be knights and princes and lords and, yes, perhaps even a High Septon." Arya screwed up her face. "No," she said, "that's Sansa." She folded up her right leg and resumed her balancing. Ned sighed and left her there. - Eddard V, AGOT

And I wonder how frustrating that must feel to Jeyne. To see someone who she deems as inferior in skills and manners because of the conditioning they've gone through under Septa Mordane's tutelage, someone who she considers beneath her, be offered and forced things she desperately wants and will never get.

Hell, Jeyne even manifests some juridical administrative knowledge and argues with Sansa about it, something she won't get to do as an adult woman, while Sansa and Arya will rule (their husband's) castles.

"Father's leg, silly. It hurts him ever so much, it makes him cross. Otherwise I'm certain he would have sent Ser Loras." [...] "Ser Ilyn's the King's Justice, not Ser Loras," Jeyne said. "Lord Eddard should have sent him." - Sansa III, AGOT

Not that any of them would be good at ruling anything, they are all middle schoolers at this point, but I think she could have felt vexed at constantly seeing Arya reject all that she wishes she could have for herself.

Please don't misunderstand me, that is still not a valid reason to bully Arya.

There are no valid reasons to bully a child.

But there are reasons behind Jeyne's mentality and actions, and I think some of those reasons come from a sense of resentment over how "easy" things are for Arya because of her status as Lord Stark's daughter.

As Arya Stark, Jeyne's dreams come true, she marries the future paramount Lord of Winterfell and twisted wish fulfilment is one hell of a drug and not one strong enough to numb the pain! And to add insult to injury, the real Arya gets to spend a significant amount of time accompanying Beric Dondarrion and his band of merry men. I fucking hate this!

And while I think that this is the main aspect of Jeyne bullying Arya, there is something more which I haven't seen written elsewhere and I am willing to admit it could be a sketchy interpretation, but I would like to talk about it anyway because it's MY inane post and I get to choose the straws I grasp at!

Ⅲ. Ⅱ. JEYNE POOLE'S LOOKS

We don't have a lot of physical descriptions for Jeyne. Her eyes are the most remarkable feature about her, being described as big, brown and expressive by Theon and Jaime. Sansa and Holly consider her pretty. Theon calls her beautiful, but only when prompted by Ramsay and it's not very believable. In his thoughts he previously claims she is no longer pretty because of the slashes on her back. I don't know how seriously he means this, but I find it remarkable. Asides from that she is described as a skinny, pale, brown haired girl. She describes herself as formerly pretty but not beautiful and when doing so compares herself to Sansa and sees herself as the lesser of the two. And yet, the entire ruse she is later involved in with this pseudo-karmic punishment, is based on her looking similar enough to Arya or the Stark look to pass as one. I always thought it was so extremely funny how defensive she gets when she claims her face isn't horsey, at the mere mention of the "horseface" nickname, even without Theon telling her she looks horsey.

I don't know. It is probably that I'm looking into this with more depth than I should simply because of...obvious reasonsfsgfgsfsghgdnfjdhdf, but who sometimes makes remarks about the Stark look being one of bastards and plain-looking-people?

[Arya] even looked like Jon, with the long face and brown hair of the Starks, and nothing of their lady mother in her face or her coloring. And Jon's mother had been common, or so people whispered.- Sansa I, AGOT

My lord father found some skinny northern girl more or less the same age with more or less the same coloring. - Jaime IX, ASOS

"You [Arya] ought to marry Hodor, you're just like him, stupid and hairy and ugly!" - Sansa III, AGOT

Imagining little Sansa Stark going to vent to little Jeyne Poole after having an argument with her sister and making a perhaps not even genuinely meant comment about little Arya Stark's looks and Jeyne just sitting there mentally competing against Stannis Baratheon in who can grind their teeth the hardest.

While there are no instances of Sansa calling Arya "Horseface" she sometimes remarks to herself and to her sister that she thinks Arya is ugly and looks like a commoner.

And who has class insecurities and also seems to look similar to Arya?

"Jeyne, Jeyne, it rhymes with plain..." I can already imagine her whispering that to herself if she ever hears Theon's rhymes.

"I was never beautiful like Sansa, but they all said I was pretty. Does Lord Ramsay think I am pretty?" - The Prince of Winterfell, ADWD

The only thing Jeyne seems to really have going for her compared to Arya, the thing that could miraculously elevate her, are her looks and even those pale compared to Sansa. As said, she is described as pretty by some, but not beautiful.

In my opinion, the text doesn't really describe Arya as ugly. It is somewhat left up to interpretation since, while Sansa, Cat, Theon and Arya herself give us the impression she might be, there are also textual comparisons to Lyanna and even people who didn't know her think of Arya as beautiful (Lady Smallwood), but since these girls grew up the way they grew up...

I can imagine Jeyne feeling like her "prettiness" is the one thing she thinks can be used to make her more valuable in Westerosi society, and in order to keep that idea of herself being prettier than Arya, she has to make sure Arya doesn't feel good about her looks, so she calls her horseface.

And, if going by this entire text that I've been writing because I am stupid, that is also completely self-destructive and tragicomical !!!

Basically I think it is possible that Jeyne is projecting her own insecurities regarding her looks and her overall sense of inferiority compared to Sansa unto Arya.

And Jeyne has reasons to feel inferior to Sansa beyond simply the class hierarchy and the possible feeling of unattractiveness, because - and now I will get blocked by another load of people if this is read- Sansa is not very good at being a friend to her!

Ⅳ. The Sansa-Jeyne Dynamic

This is one of those things that completely baffles me, same as the Theon-Robb dynamic, where I have no idea how it is possible that my perception in the past ten years has been so drastically different from the majority of the fandom. And I swear to god, I've tried to change my perspective, I read metas, I tried fanfics, and I still don't get it.

This years Sansa month dedicated an entire day to Jeyne Poole.

Someone who is not very well acquainted with the books would probably assume Jeyne Poole is a very important girl in Sansa's narrative based on that information. They'd probably be surprised to find out that, since the two girls were separated, Jeyne Poole is remembered a total number of four times by Sansa Stark.

Sansa thinks of Jeyne Poole a total of four (4) times since AGOT.

In the span of four books in which both Stark sisters go through terribly drastic changes in their lives, Arya thinks of the girl who bullied her three times.

Sansa who loves and misses Jeyne thinks of her four times.

And you are telling me that she is so important to Sansa that she deserves an entire day dedicated to her? And everything that is created in that day is about how Sansa loves her so much and cares for her tremendously and will protect her?

PERSON D: It's because Sansa is traumatised. It pains her too much to think of her. Not thinking of her is a coping mechanism.

"She missed Septa Mordane, and even more Jeyne Poole, her truest friend. The septa had lost her head with the rest, for the crime of serving House Stark. Sansa did not know what had happened to Jeyne, who had disappeared from her rooms afterward, never to be mentioned again. She tried not to think of them too often, yet sometimes the memories came unbidden, and then it was hard to hold back the tears." - Sansa II, ACOK

Person D: See?

Probably! I don't oppose that interpretation, it's very possible. People often suppress painful memories. But I can still disapprove of that coping mechanism. Would you like it if you suddenly disappeared form the face of earth in extremely mysterious circumstances and your friend wouldn't even ask about what happened to you? I don't think I would feel loved and treasured if I were to know that.

I don't like the way their dynamic is perceived by a majority of the fandom based on those four thoughts and the few other times we seen them interact in AGOT.

Person E: Oh OP is just posting anti-Jeynsa stuff because they ship Jeyne, A CHILD, with Theon, AN ADULT MAN AND RAPIST!

I wouldn't consider this anti-Jeynsa since

This is what makes their dynamic intriguing for me. This is the type of Jeynsa I'm into!!!

I don't think their relationship in inherently wrong or that it would be morally condemnable.

Also I don't even really ship Theon & Jeyne as an endgame romantic/sexual ship, not that it wowuld be morally wrong for anyone to do so. I "ship" it as a very turbulent dynamic between two people who have been forced to bond by the horrible circumstances they have been in and who have had the boundaries that define certain relationship dynamics blurred in some very traumatic ways. I "ship it" in the sense that I would like to see both of them find some tranquility and peace in their lives and try to explore which of those blurred boundaries they wish to reestablish, keep blurred or fully erase. Hell, I wrote a 100k fanfic focusing on their relationship and didn't even let them be endgame. I didn't even let them be actually in love.

It's just that "cute, loving, soft, homoromantic childhood best friends" isn't the dynamic I'm usually interested in.

And I don't think the Jeynsa dynamic is that.

I think there are class issues and inferiorities to be explored. I think Sansa is true in her affections for Jeyne, she loves her and sees her as a friend, but she is also diminishing and tends to look down on her, and regardless if it is a coping mechanism or not, she shows no interest in finding out what happened to who she considers her "truest friend".

And I don't believe Sansa is a bad person for this, I believe she is a young girl. Relationships between women are complicated enough already. Relationships between pre-teen and teen girls have entire studies dedicated to them.

Person F: How much would Sansa even consider her as a bff? In their bullying of Arya, Jeyne comes across as the acolyte to Queen Bea Sansa. And that's just modern projection. Jeyne is from a minor house. She's just a steward's daughter. She's just slightly above a servant in feudalist hierarchy. She's assigned to be her "friend" coz she's conveniently the same age, and that's just what you did then. Like "milk-siblings", servants who shared a wetnurse with a lord. (1/2)(2/2) Lower houses are fancy domesticity to the greater houses. The great nobility is fancy domesticity to royalty. That's just how feudalism worked. Everyone was thought of as a servant, the entirety of society was built on a network of servitude and dependance. Even the king is a servant: to God. Or "Gods" in the case of ASOIAF. Hence all the conclicts between church and royalty.

I saw this comment a while ago on a Tumblr post (I'm not putting a source link because I don't believe that would be fair to them and also it's older than a year) and I don't like it.

I think it is unfairly villainising Sansa and also removing Jeyne's agency in that situation by putting her as an "acolyte" (assistant, follower), when the composition of our first scene involving them, in my opinion, shows her as an adviser. I also don't like how it is pretending that Jeyne is being forced to be Sansa's friend and if going by that logic, then why isn't Beth being forced to be Arya's friend?

I disagree with it. I think it simplifies a more complex situation.

But I wish we were allowed to explore the less wholesome aspects in the Jeyne-Sansa dynamic without being instantaneously labeled as a Sansa-anti and it is what I'll attempt.

Something I always found very endearing and relatable about Sansa was how much she craved for friends - especially female friends - since she is left alone in King's Landing.

It had been so long since she had enjoyed the company of other women, she had almost forgotten how pleasant it could be. - Sansa II, ASOS

How am I supposed not to feel my heart ache in bittersweetness? My favourite Sansa "friendship" is actually the one she builds with Garlan Tyrell, but this is a moment of bliss.

It's interesting how Sansa often finds amusement in female friends who act very differently from how she does, but as her character evolves in the books her feelings for those types of companions also seem to change.

We have Jeyne, Margaery and Myranda, as her "friends", characters with whom she experiences very different dynamics and I think it is at least partially involved with their classes too.

Jeyne is the one she treats the most poorly, in my opinion. Ignoring how little she thinks of her after Jeyne is taken away by Littlefinger, let's see some of their previous interactions and let's also keep in mind that Sansa is (at most) a 12-year-old girl not having a very good time and she deserves compassion:

[...] Jeyne and Sansa cried out in unison as riders crashed together, lances exploding into splinters while the commons screamed for their favorites. Jeyne covered her eyes whenever a man fell, like a frightened little girl, but Sansa was made of sterner stuff. A great lady knew how to behave at tournaments. Even Septa Mordane noted her composure and nodded in approval. - Sansa II, AGOT

Sansa feels superior to Jeyne for staying calm at the face of violence. This will become a pattern.

Jeyne Poole wept so hysterically that Septa Mordane finally took her off to regain her composure, but Sansa sat with her hands folded in her lap, watching with a strange fascination. [...] By then Septa Mordane had returned, alone. Jeyne had been feeling ill, she explained; she had helped her back to the castle. Sansa had almost forgotten about Jeyne. - Sansa II, AGOT

Jeyne is hysterical after seeing a man die at the tourney, Sansa isn't very concerned for her friend's mental state.

"His leg?" Jeyne said uncertainly. She was a pretty, dark-haired girl of Sansa's own age. "Did Ser Loras hurt his leg?" "Not his leg," Sansa said, nibbling delicately at a chicken leg. "Father's leg, silly. It hurts him ever so much, it makes him cross. Otherwise I'm certain he would have sent Ser Loras." - Sansa III, AGOT

"Silly". It could be solely meant with endearment, but throughout that scene Sansa is in a bad mood and I wonder how Jeyne might have perceived it given she continues arguing with her about juridical administration and contradicts Sansa.

Of course, Jeyne had been in love with Lord Beric ever since she had first glimpsed him in the lists. Sansa thought she was being silly; Jeyne was only a steward's daughter, after all, and no matter how much she mooned after him, Lord Beric would never look at someone so far beneath him, even if she hadn't been half his age. - Sansa III, AGOT

Again, "silly", and this time with a slightly classist connotation. And the saddest thing is that Sansa is right, but she often daydreams of unrealistic or impossible romantic scenarios herself and had a crush on Waymar Royce, a man who was older than her, of lower nobility and about to make a vow of celibacy. Why is Jeyne the silly one for daydreaming?

"They're killing everyone," the steward's daughter had shrieked at her. She went on and on. The Hound had broken down her door with a warhammer, she said. There were bodies on the stair of the Tower of the Hand, and the steps were slick with blood. Sansa dried her own tears as she struggled to comfort her friend. They went to sleep in the same bed, cradled in each other's arms like sisters. The second day was even worse. [...] The only sounds were Jeyne Poole's endless whimpers and sobs. - Sansa IV, AGOT

Jeyne Poole had been confined with her, but Jeyne was useless. Her face was puffy from all her crying, and she could not seem to stop sobbing about her father. "I'm certain your father is well," Sansa told her when she had finally gotten the dress buttoned right. "I'll ask the queen to let you see him." She thought that kindness might lift Jeyne's spirits, but the other girl just looked at her with red, swollen eyes and began to cry all the harder. She was such a child. - Sansa IV, AGOT

Remember what I said about Septa Mordane's "Stop weeping, child."? Sansa is vexed by her crying although Sansa cries herself, thinks of her as useless, she thinks demeaningly of Jeyne because she is crying after realising her father has been killed..

"Jeyne's scared," Sansa said. "She won't stop crying. I promised her I'd ask if she could see her father." - Sansa IV, AGOT

This feels like a twisted version of the first passage in this list. Sansa is scared herself, we know this because she was trembling as she dressed, but she speaks only of Jeyne's fear.

Jeyne Poole and all her things were gone when Ser Mandon Moore returned Sansa to the high tower of Maegor's Holdfast. No more weeping, she thought gratefully. - Sansa IV, AGOT

Sansa, love, I know you are very stressed out but come on open your eyes!

Somehow this reminds me a bit of a less extreme version of Theon's inconsistencies in thoughts and actions involving Jeyne in ADWD. He is very crude when thinking of her, but if you go through his actual treatment of her, he is surprisingly tender. The only exception I can think of for them is in TWOW.

With Sansa, I think it is similar, but whereas Theon is painfully aware of how perilous their lives as Ramsay's playthings are, Sansa constantly refuses to see the gravity of their situation and thus is dismissive of Jeyne in a moment where it becomes terribly cruel. I don't think she doesn't love Jeyne, of course, she does,

The kitchen yielded no lemon cakes, but they did find half of a cold strawberry pie, and that was almost as good. They ate it on the tower steps, giggling and gossiping and sharing secrets, - Sansa III, AGOT

"Where are you sending her? She hasn't done anything wrong, she's a good girl." - Sansa IV, AGOT

No more weeping, she thought gratefully. Yet somehow it seemed colder with Jeyne gone, even after she'd built a fire. - Sansa IV, AGOT

She missed Septa Mordane, and even more Jeyne Poole, her truest friend. [...] Sansa did not know what had happened to Jeyne, who had disappeared from her rooms afterward, never to be mentioned again. - Sansa II, ACOK

She sang for her mother and her father, for her grandfather Lord Hoster and her uncle Edmure Tully, for her friend Jeyne Poole, - Sansa V, ACOK

She had not had a friend to gossip with since poor Jeyne Poole. - Alayne II, AFFC

Remembering bright cold days at Winterfell, when she would race through Winterfell with her friend Jeyne Poole, with Arya running after them trying to keep up. - Alayne I, TWOW

I think Sansa just sometimes takes her for granted.

I think it's sad because it's realistic and it hurts even more when you compare her treatment of Jeyne to her treatment of Margaery and Myranda after going through a period of hostile isolation and a heartbreaking customary middle school betrayal, two things that I believe influence her feelings for both girls.

With Margaery and her posse, she is idealistic. She considers Margaery to be kind, brave and wise, and finds bliss (and a little bit of envy and gayness, ooooh) in the company of her ladies.

Margaery's kindness had been unfailing, and her presence changed everything. Her ladies welcomed Sansa as well. It had been so long since she had enjoyed the company of other women, she had almost forgotten how pleasant it could be. Lady Leonette gave her lessons on the high harp, and Lady Janna shared all the choice gossip. Merry Crane always had an amusing story, and little Lady Bulwer reminded her of Arya, though not so fierce. Closest to Sansa's own age were the cousins Elinor, Alla, and Megga, Tyrells from junior branches of the House. "Roses from lower on the bush," quipped Elinor, who was witty and willowy. Megga was round and loud, Alla shy and pretty, but Elinor ruled the three by right of womanhood; she was a maiden flowered, whereas Megga and Alla were mere girls. The cousins took Sansa into their company as if they had known her all their lives. They spent long afternoons doing needlework and talking over lemon cakes and honeyed wine, played at tiles of an evening, sang together in the castle sept ... and often one or two of them would be chosen to share Margaery's bed, where they would whisper half the night away. Alla had a lovely voice, and when coaxed would play the woodharp and sing songs of chivalry and lost loves. Megga couldn't sing, but she was mad to be kissed. She and Alla played a kissing game sometimes, she confessed, but it wasn't the same as kissing a man, much less a king. - Sansa II, ASOS

There is a direct comparison to Arya, mentions of many of Sansa's hobbies, some sapphicness, and if I squint my eyes the needlework and lemon cakes remind me of Jeyne & Beth. And then...Sansa is made to marry Tyrion and that match frustrates the Tyrell's ambitions.

And here Sansa found the Tyrells. Margaery gave her such a sad look, and when the Queen of Thorns tottered in between Left and Right, she never looked at her at all. Elinor, Alla, and Megga seemed determined not to know her. My friends, Sansa thought bitterly. - Sansa III, ASOS

After that emotional betrayal, Sansa spends more time of isolation and this time it's even more depressing in my opinion. The few people who show her kindness are also somewhat compliant in her misery and then she gets abducted by Petyr Baelish and has to take the role of his bastard daughter, Alayne Stone. Under this guise she meets Myranda Royce and Mya Stone.

While I would say she befriends both girls, her connection with Randa resembles that which she had with Jeyne and Margaery more than her connection with Mya. Both of them share some common interests and Myranda, isn't disdainful at all of her supposed bastardy.

Person G: That's because she is cunning and suspects Alayne is actually highborn.

I'm not so convinced by that argument! She is described of being as closes as sisters with Mya Stone, another bastard.

Sansa's distrust for Myranda is, in my opinion, only partially fuelled by Littlefinger's words.

"Soon or late you must meet Myranda Royce," Petyr had warned her. "When you do, be careful. She likes to play the merry fool, but underneath she's shrewder than her father. Guard your tongue around her." - Alayne II, AFFC

I think her distrust comes mostly from her last close homosocial relationship having been a farce, from feeling manipulated, used and deceived. And that mistrust remains but is worn down by Randa's warm personality.

I think there is is something very sweet about comparing the following passages:

Sansa knelt at the feet of her future queen. "You do me great honor, Your Grace." "Won't you call me Margaery? Please, rise. Loras, help the Lady Sansa to her feet. Might I call you Sansa?" - Sansa I, ASOS

"Kind?" The older girl gave a laugh. "How boring that would be. I aspire to be wicked. You must tell me all your secrets on the ride down. May I call you Alayne?" "If you wish, my lady." But you'll get no secrets from me. "I am 'my lady' at the Gates, but up here on the mountain you may call me Randa. How many years have you, Alayne?" [...] "As you say, my lady." "Randa. Come now, you can say it. Ran. Da." "Randa." - Alayne II, AFFC

It's curious how in both cases there is this chance of friendship being offered to Sansa by a girl who has a higher rank than her but one is done much more courteously than the other. Sansa never calls Myranda "Randa" again, but as she warms up to her she begins referring to her as such in the narration. I think that is very heartwarming.

Maybe it is stupid to complain about the idealisation of a flawed friendship in these books, but I think the reason it annoys me so much is because it removes this type of development in Sansa's socialising. Her interactions with Myranda are delightful to read and I think it's the healthiest friendship she has formed yet.

And Myranda also embodies aspects of Margaery and Jeyne, so it's an even funnier conclusion. She is a little bit less ladylike than Sansa, but is still comfortable with her gender and the assigned roles, she is a little foul mouthed, she likes to gossip and to take friends to her bed (in an apparent not-sexual way).

"Lothor Brune?" Myranda raised an eyebrow. "Does she know?" She did not wait for an answer. "He has no hope, poor man. My father's tried to make a match for Mya, but she'll have none of them. She is half mule, that one." Despite herself, Alayne found herself warming to the older girl. She had not had a friend to gossip with since poor Jeyne Poole. "Do you think Ser Lothor likes her as she is, in mail and leather?" she asked the older girl, who seemed so worldly-wise. "Or does he dream of her draped in silks and velvets?" "He's a man. He dreams of her naked." She is trying to make me blush again. Lady Myranda must have heard her thoughts. "You do turn such a pretty shade of pink. When I blush I look quite like an apple. I have not blushed for years, though." She leaned closer. "Does your father plan to wed again?" - Alayne II, AFFC

Even Lady Myranda began to yawn and complain of being weary. "We have apartments prepared for all of you," she told Alayne, "but if you like you may share my bed tonight. It's large enough for four." "I should be honored, my lady." "Randa. Count yourself fortunate that I'm so tired. All I want to do is curl up and go to sleep. Usually when ladies share my bed they have to pay a pillow tax and tell me all about the wicked things they've done." "What if they haven't done any wicked things?" "Why, then they must confess all the wicked things they want to do. Not you, of course. I can see how virtuous you are just by looking at those rosy cheeks and big blue eyes of yours." She yawned again. "I hope your feet are warm. I do hate bedmaids with cold feet." - Alayne II, AFFC

"I do hope you will forgive me for depriving you of Lady Myranda's company," Alayne told the knights. She did not wait for a reply, but took the older girl arm-in-arm and drew her away from the bench. Only when they were out of earshot did she whisper, "Do you really know where my father is?" "Of course not. Walk faster, my new suitors may be following." Myranda made a face. "Ossifer Lipps is the dullest knight in the Vale, but Uther Shett aspires to his laurels. I am praying they fight a duel for my hand, and kill each other." Alayne giggled. "Surely Lord Nestor would not seriously entertain a suit from such men." - Alayne I, TWOW

"Too late," Myranda said. "They're here. We shall need to do the honors by ourselves." She grinned. "Last one to the gate must marry Uther Shett." They made a race of it, dashing headlong across the yard and past the stables, skirts flapping, whilst knights and serving men alike looked on, and pigs and chickens scattered before them. It was most unladylike, but Alayne sound found herself laughing. For just a little while, as she ran, she forget who she was, and where, and found herself remembering bright cold days at Winterfell, when she would race through Winterfell with her friend Jeyne Poole, with Arya running after them trying to keep up. By the time they arrived at the gatehouse, both of them were red-faced and panting. Myranda had lost her cloak somewhere along the way. They were just in time. - Alayne I, TWOW 

I don't even ship them (Mya x Myranda and Sansa x Brienne ftw), and this doesn't have anything to do with the theme of whatever this text turned into, but I love their dynamic so much I would ship it if it became canon. It's adorable and funny and out of her dynamics with other girls, this one is my favourite.

We know that the Sansa-Margaery friendship turned out disappointingly, and some have the suspicion that Myranda could act as a new tormentor for Sansa, and I have no way to disprove that, but seeing her development in regards to female friendships makes me at least doubt it.

She took Jeyne for granted and was disdainful, spent a time of hostile isolation, met Margaery and her ladies, went through the horrors of idealisation and crashed against the truth, spent even more time alone and kept the wounds from her sorrow, and is now apparently finding a healthy friendship with Myranda Royce and I love that for her.

It makes me wonder how her feelings for Jeyne could evolve if they get to meet again, and whether she will be more conscious of how their friendship was flawed. Of how she should have probably tried to be more attentive to the dynamic between Jeyne & Arya, of how she perhaps shouldn't have been passive about Jeyne's bullying nor participated in it.

As I write I am checking everything in my journals and I couldn't find a single occasion in which we see Sansa calling Arya "Horseface", but I did however find her thinking of Arya's looks as "horsey" with a negative connotation:

Her long horsey face got the stubborn look that meant she was going to do something willful. [...] One day she came back grinning her horsey grin, her hair all tangled and her clothes covered in mud, clutching a raggedy bunch of purple and green flowers for Father.  - Sansa II, AGOT

She also giggles at and uses Jeyne's nicknames for Hobber and Horas Redwyne:

The Redwyne twins, Ser Horas and Ser Hobber, homely youths with orange hair and square, freckled faces. Sansa and Jeyne Poole used to call them Ser Horror and Ser Slobber, and giggle whenever they caught sight of them. - Arya V, AGOT

She recognized black-skinned Jalabhar Xho, gloomy Ser Aron Santagar, the Redwyne twins Horror and Slobber - Sansa V, ACOK

Paxter Redwyne, Lord of the Arbor, marched down the length of the hall flanked by his twin sons Horror and Slobber, - Sansa VIII, ACOK

And seeing her snicker at those names is already enough for me to pin her as a passive victimiser in their case. Even if she felt bad about it, something I could find no indication of. Sansa doesn't think of how painful it must be for them to be referred to that way, how dehumanising it is.

So, with that information, I don't think she's above having called Arya "Horseface".

Ⅴ. Adulthood

Where are the adults? Why is it that during the entire time we spend with these three girls under the care of Septa Mordane, Ned and Catelyn Stark and Vayon Poole we never see them taking action and putting a stop to this?

DontbotherwiththepronunciationRightNowRealisingTheySpentWayTooMuchFuckingTimeDevelopingAPunchlineTheyLost: Probably because this book isn't about medieval setting middle school bullying, you idiot! And there is a lot of really urgent stuff going on with the adults. Get over yourself.

Yeah...

But still! Prior to all that, prior to the story we've been reading, these characters existed in their own universe and in that universe, all these girls have been judged by adult society and have been set in a toxic environment that unintentionally allows and encourages the bullying.

I already explained that when talking about Septa Mordane.

My question now isn't whether we should fault the adults or not, but more about how this would have developed as Arya, Jeyne and Sansa all became adults.

Of corse, this is all speculation on a rather unimportant topic that has been discussed hundreds of times before and my opinion is probably somewhat tainted by lingering emotions, so yeah this might have been worthless but I couldn't sleep and it was a little fun.

Perhaps because of my own issues with bullying, which were handed very poorly by the adults who should have solved it, I like daydreaming about these three girls, all of who I like and wish good things upon, and wondering whether they would have been able to solve their problems as they matured into adulthood if their lives had remained peaceful. I sadly don't think they would have.

Throughout the entire text I wrote, I felt like walking on egg shells because, as you can probably see if you just look at my blog, I barely talk about Arya or Sansa and I know there is a lot of tension between fans of those characters and I didn't want to say anything that could feel offensive and somehow it was still surprisingly easy to write this. I think maybe it is because I don't relate to any of the characters, like I do with Theon or Barbrey, so I can distance myself from it a little more. On the other hand, this is a topic that still haunts me.

I really don't think they would have solved any of this if they had remained in Winterfell with things going the way they usually went.

But now, after being completely torn and victimised by war in extremely different ways that still somehow manage to bring similar themes to their stories (the always present threat of sexual abuse, the weaponising of a person, depersonalisation, dead parents, a broken home, losing their privileges as highborn, being saved by the Hound), once they reunite and are the only bonds that remains of a happier time, I think they could.

Maybe their newly found maturity and the despair born out of tragedy could make it easier to overcome all their past offences and forge a bond.

It's strange. I always go for the bitter, resentful and scorned women - I wonder why - (Barb, Cersei) or those who have aspects I can relate to cultural duality, immigration or rootlessness (Theon, Dany) but never for the more-or-less-happily-gender-conforming "damsel in distress", much less for one who reminds me of some of the worst people I've met, and yet out of the three girls involved in this she is the one I am the most attached to.

I think she mostly grew on me after I learnt she was omitted from the show and that her narrative was given to Sansa because that is such a cruel joke from D&D.

Jeyne Poole: Hey! I am the character meant to show how everyone is valuable, worthy and deserving of being saved and protected and how everyone matters and also to further develop Theon's character while functioning as a symbol of his culpability and regret of the three vilest things he has done(among other things of course)! D&D: Ok, we are cutting her because she is not important enough to matter. Give her plot to the barely adult red-headed Stark so Theon can find redemption by saving a Stark and getting a wolf pin and we can shiptease Sansa with a bunch of people and marketise her as an ice queen girlboss.

It's so mean it's a little funny. On a meta level I think she is the biggest loser in this series. I think that is why I like her so much. I liked her before I knew of that and I remember crying at @/croclock's art of her and Theon escaping (1) (2) (3), but I didn't feel as emotionally attached to her until after I found out.

I remember when I watched the show there was a scene that caused a lot of controversy that I can somehow relate to this.

Sandor Clegane: You've changed, Little Bird. None of it would have happened if you'd left King's Landing with me. No Littlefinger, no Ramsay... none of it. Sansa Stark: Without Littlefinger and Ramsay and the rest, I would have stayed a Little Bird all my life.

And of course this dialogue is gross and it doesn't make any sense in the books, and I still wrote it down on my journals because I think, maybe trying to be an optimist, that the message behind it was different than what was actually said???

It comes across as "I'm happy and grateful I was abused and raped" which is nauseating, obviously, but I think it was rather supposed to be more of a "All the choices I've made across my life and all the events that occurred through it have lead me here, to become the person I am today and I am proud of that person." which could still have been controversial, but is something I would have agreed with more, and it's not something I would only apply on these girls.

Maybe we'll get such a moment at some point with a better execution, hopefully, in the books.