#THERE'S MORE I CAN SAY ABOUT THE WHOLE FIRST 25 MINUTES OF THE MOVIE

[daxaster]

HEY how come no one told me that in Final Frontier; Kirk, Spock, and McCoy literally go camping together and talk about how good friends they all are and enjoy spending time together and then try to fuckin sing campfire songs and Spock is roasting a marsh melon and then they all go to bed and say good night to each other one at a time???

[coddda]

Hiiiiiii. Episode 25/26 lawlight analysis rant thingy here. I don't know how to write an intro for this so let's just get to it LOL

I think one of the reasons that the rain/foot scenes stick out so much (the. Sheer insanity of a Foot Massage Scene in an anime revolving around two guys trying to kill each other aside 💀) is the fact that the anime specifically suffers a bit in terms of adapting a few of the "emotional" moments in death note.

And I don't mean "emotionally impactful" exactly. For example I think the adaptations of scenes like Raye and Naomi's deaths were very impactful and the atmospheres of their final scenes were great, but I mean more from a characterization standpoint (if that makes sense). Being more focused on mind and logic games, Death Note as a whole isn't as invested in individual characters' deeper feelings as it is in its action (which isn't necessarily a criticism per say, it's simply part of the nature of a mystery thriller series). But just because they're fewer and farther between doesn't mean there are none at all. In the manga we do get to see, for example, how much Light actually cared for his family and especially Sayu, and how he actually felt more conflicted and suffered lack of sleep/appetite when he first used the Death Note.

The anime specifically as an adaptation is pretty good at adapting the main mind fuckery and action of Death Note, but its lacking in properly adapting scenes like the ones I mentioned above is a criticism I see somewhat often, and it's pretty fair imo. Compared to all the other adaptations, it certainly seems to fall short on an emotional level: the musical has entire songs going in depth about the characters feelings and relationships, the 2015 jdrama is. Insane and has its emotional moments in spades (because it's a TV drama, which are more focused on portraying emotional conflict and the like), even the 2006 movies has its emotional beats and L Change the WorLd is. Well. Oh Man.

Anime Light to a lot of people is like. Light but he's "already evil" (which I have my own thoughts on but I digress). Light but after using the Death Note for like 2 minutes he's already like "fuck yeah time to kill criminals". Basically the anime doesn't take as much time to delve into his less cynical sides or really delve into his already vague and harder to decipher feelings in general, he is noticeably colder from the get-go here, etc.

But that's part of why I think episode 25 manages to stand out so much tonally (apart from it being, y'know, the episode L literally Dies). I love the episode so much and could probably rant for hours about how much I love the artistic choices made in it but what I'm trying to get at here is that it's one of the very few moments where the show tries to go deeper into specific character's emotions, and one of the very few moments where the show Attempts (emphasis on "attempts" because, well, you'll see in a bit) to get more in-depth into Light's feelings apart from his cynicism/apathy/justice. ness.

L in these two scenes in episode 25 is, well, pretty damn open about how he feels. It's usually interpreted as him knowing that he's going to die, and you can see it. He visibly looks/sounds lost, somber, etc. He never really had much to hide around Light to begin with (since he doesn't really care about hiding himself the same way Light does) but especially not now and it Shows, and I personally thought it was pretty cool to delve into his thoughts/show how he feels this way. The somberness can be felt throughout the entire scene, even people who don't already know the plot of Death Note from the manga could probably tell that he's about to die.

In the manga, once L starts suspecting Misa again and Rem realizes what Light is trying to do, it goes straight to Watari and L's deaths, but the anime instead gives a distinct and unexpected pause in the middle of this where L contemplates his own death. It's fucking great, and the shift from straight action to slower emotional weight makes these scenes stand out a lot, since, like I said, the show usually focuses more on the former. But it's kind of ironic, too.

Not only does the anime open up L's feelings more in these scenes, but it also tries to dig deeper into Light's feelings as well through L. And it's really funny honestly because while, yes, these are the more "emotionally open" scenes of the anime Light still manages to be Incredibly avoidant and contribute almost nothing to the entire ordeal.

L is visibly upset -> "Yeah Ryuzaki, you're not making any sense at all" (Not addressing the obvious conflict from L)

"Tell me, Light. From the moment you were born, has there ever been a point where you've actually told the truth?" -> "[The most stale, over-explained, avoidant answer to a "yes/no" question that you could ever hear + blatant attempts to reframe the question]"

(L's half-smile here kills me) "I had a feeling you'd say something like that" -> [Nothing]

"I'm sorry" -> [Nothing]

"It'll be lonely won't it? You and I will be parting ways soon" -> [Nothing]

^ From this point Light continues to say literally Nothing for the rest of the scene. I'm not even joking, from then on the rest of Light's voicelines are reduced to nothing but vague noises of confusion.

Everytime L calls Light out as a person ("Has there ever been a point where you've actually told the truth?" / "I had a feeling you'd say something like that." / "Won't it be lonely?") he doesn't actually acknowledge anything. Out of those three lines, he only answers verbally to if he's ever told the truth, and even then it's the most blatantly people-pleasing answer ever, as it usually is with Light. And I don't think it's because Light just. Doesn't care about any of what L's saying at all, or that he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about (questioning Light's authenticity as a person, saying it would be lonely when they part), instead he's choosing not to acknowledge any of what this means about himself or him and L at all. He's like a fucking wall.

And like, for the truth question in particular, the show makes sure that you know it's not something that Light just. Doesn't care enough about to answer. The hard cuts to silence are a very rare but extremely effective way that the show conveys an extremely important moment (see: Light regaining his memories, Matsuda noticing Light opening the warehouse door before he escapes (not as much of a "direct" cut to silence but still)), and cuts to multiple angles/framings/zooms of the exact same shot are also used for the same purpose (see: Light hugging Misa when she was crying, Matsuda aiming his gun to shoot Light, Light regaining his memories Again). Just like the scene where Light gets his memories back, the moment L's question finishes the show utilizes both. That question cut Deep. There's is a solid Almost 5 seconds of silence before the sound of the rain gradually starts fading back in, and honestly that should be telling enough as is (but of course Light doesn't actually admit that. Or anything at all really, so). Oh also another fun detail! We do not see Light's face At All (except for the shot where you can see his mouth moving but not his eyes), for the Entire time that he's going on his spiel to L. We Will Be Revisiting This Later, by the way. This is not, in fact, the first time you're going to see this detail from Light.

The only sort of reciprocation that we see from Light during Any of these two scenes is when Light dries L's hair while L dries his feet. Biblical meanings/references aside it's interesting because it's the only time he directly does anything "for" L in these scenes, but even then he doesn't try to pass it off as anything meaningful really the same way L does ("You're still soaked", a purely neutral and factual statement. It doesn't Add Anything compared to L's. Sin atonement loneliness grieving stuff. While Light is showing his own reciprocation to this more personal moment he also tries to keep it impersonal enough that it doesn't actually have to mean anything deep). And when L says "I'm sorry" after he once again gets no response from Light. It's also after this that L gets that pained look on his face, like he knows that at this point he's not actually going to get anything meaningful from Light (again, very significant and rare from L in the show. We've seen him in distress (see: when Ukita died, hell, when Watari dies), but even then he mostly manages to keep his usually neutral expression), we never see him "look sad" like he does here):

I just think it's interesting that this is one of the few scenes in this particular adaptation of Death Note where they try to open up the character's thoughts/feeling (especially considering the fact that they. lowkey blunder in adaptations of original scenes from the manga), and L himself is being rather open (not that he ever really tries to hide what he thinks nearly as much as Light), and yet all Light contributes to it in return is like. Actually nothing. Bro fumbled it. There is no resolution to any of this, to any of what L asks at all, to any of the many opportunities for a meaningful conversation, and the only thing even relatively close to an answer that you can get from Light is what you can infer from how he acts in the episode after L dies, where he's just going through the motions, but hardly acting as if he's actually living at all.

(Honestly I think the transition from this scene with the taskforce to the subsequent scene with Misa says enough on its own. Light's expressions and tone says everything:)

(Oh sidenote but. This shit again:

"Light, this is our first date in forever. can't you enjoy yourself a little more?" ('Why don't you seem happy? We can finally be together since L is dead') -> No response, Light instead changing the topic to him wanting to move in with Misa without changing his mannerisms at all

Also there's that one detail again. You pretty much don't see Light's expression when he speaks here at all, except for one shot of his eyes, which is quite literally the exact same shot they used when he "saw" L, just altered for the new setting. You have No idea what he looks like when he's responding to Misa, although it's probably fair to assume that it's the same empty stare he has for the whole Two Shots where you can clearly see his whole expression in the entire scene.

Something something Light Yagami bad at feelings I think you get the point though)

I guess Light's Kind of showing what he's feeling now? He'll admit to himself that it's boring without L, but no more than that. Light never actually admits to anything "significant", and L's dead already anyway, so what would that even do?

And then we get, uh. Basically nothing from Light. For the next 5 Years. Except that he joined the NPA, so, uh, yay? Good job, Light you totally nailed it! Thank you for allowing us as an audience to delve deeper into your inner thoughts and feelings as a character so we can find out more about you as a person! Very helpful! Thank you for not sabotaging one of your few dedicated opportunities to look into yourself as a person and reflect on your relationships with others and being 100% honest with yourself! We stay winning guys.

Anyway, this got way too long for a scene that's over a decade old, and I've probably just said everything that everyone else has already said in this fandom before. But unfortunately this has been living in my head for way too long and I must scream. I just think this episode's neat is all :)

tl;dr Part of the reason why the rain/foot scene (tbh episode 25 in General) stands out so much is because the Death Note anime specifically was a bit robbed in terms of its more emotional character moments compared to the other medias, which makes more somber/introspective scenes like the ones in episode 25 stand out a Lot in comparison. But it's also incredibly ironic because it's one of the few moments where the show (or specifically L) tries to look deeper into Light's character, but because he is so avoidant for the entire duration of these two scenes he adds basically nothing at all. It's almost funny. Mostly sad. It's also very gay. Aand post

Okay actually nevermind one more thing I talked about how the jdrama is supposed to be more emotionally in-depth because it is a TV Drama and just for the record, same thing happens there! I could probably do an entire analysis of the Blue Scene in this context like I did with episode 25 but I'd literally be here forever, so uh, just take this iconic line as my main example:

Same Thing. L's statement "I wish we could have met some other way" is personal. It's his own wish, his own regret that he is expressing to Light. While Light's reply obviously has that same regret implied it's also phrased in a specifically impersonal way. It's closed off. "This is the only way we could have met" it closes off the topic and simply renders L's wish as ultimately futile. Light does not say that he Also wishes he could have met L a different way even if it was likely impossible, instead it's a cold statement of cynical fact.

Idk just. Something something L being able and Willing to be more openly sentimental/emotionally open towards Light/about Light vs. Light's inability to be honest with anyone including himself and his own nature preventing any form of meaningful reciprocation. Something something self-sabotage, y'know the drill. God don't even get me Started on how sincere L's tone is when he says "It'll be lonely won't it?"(at least in the eng dub) in the anime I could talk about his tone in that scene for ages. Also yes all of this relates to L Change the WorLd too by the way. Don't ask how it just does okay.

I do think that scenes like these (rain/foot scene, The Blue Scene. Uh. L Change the WorLd The Novel Adaptation) show, at least in those adaptations, that L does genuinely care for Light, and show that he values him as a friend not just in the mindgame-equal sense but also just like, a more sincere sense you know. Idk if that made any sense and that's a whole other topic for another day but you guys just have to believe me on this one alright please please believe me buries head in hands. Okay post over finally thanks for coming to my tedtalk hope you enjoyed my very-unnecessarily long analysis of the week

[schlong2]

latest fix rant time

none of my friends want to talk to me about monkey movies and then i remembered i have a whole blog dedicated to my latest fixations so. i've watched Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes two (TWICE ✌️) times in theaters. this was after watching the newer trilogy (Rise, Dawn & War) and the first 1968 original in prep.

things (SPOILERS!!!):

Kingdom's run time is 2 hours and 25 minutes. this is incredibly long for a movie. compared to 1968's 1 hour and 52 minutes, that's a half hour difference. Infinity War was 2 hours and 36 minutes for reference. that's a whole marvel cinematic convergence, but ape. the run time isn't exactly the issue i've seen talked about. it's the pacing. sitting twice through this movie was not a problem for me. i sat there engaged all the way through. on the second watch, i tried to be mindful of times in which it might have been dragging for the average person, and i like, literally couldn't find any. pretty much every scene had meaning and didn't drag imo. which is something these newer movies do extremely well. Kingdom is pretty equally split between verbal communication and sign language compared to the first three before it. the apes use both verbal and visual cues to talk. but because they don't talk every single time, it makes every moment that they do feel special. it reminds me of the Quiet Place concept, where most of the movie you only hear a human voice a few select times when it's safe to do so. Rise, Dawn, & War were kind of like this, as Caesar only really spoke when he was trying to make a point or communicating to humans, who are mostly speaking in those movies. he speaks more as he gets more fluent, and by War, he can speak very well. we see other apes like Koba, Maurice, Blue Eyes, and Bad Ape also speak English. these moments are rationed pretty well throughout Kingdom, making the dialog more select and meaningful. this makes every time these beasts talk feel like it means something and isn't just fluff to fill your ears. every other scene feels like it's building or showing a side of a character we hadn't seen before, and the scenes between those advance the plot or are like, really action-packed. i just don't see why some people say it has pacing problems. it's just long. i understand the average person's attention span is super short, but when you're sitting down to watch two and a half hours of movie, you gotta know there's gonna be downtime. moments where they're not fighting or advancing the plot. and i think that's GOOD man. but im also not one for action/adventures very much so maybe that's it? i think a lot of people maybe watch these apes for the violence and conflict rather than their introspection, genuinely thoughtful world building, and complex characters. and hey, that's completely fine to enjoy, but POTA is originally about morals and asking the audience questions and posing dilemmas to popular beliefs at the time. ok

Raka. he's great. Peter Macon has this butter smooth voice that's just perfect for the kind of character he plays. you can't help but like him. but he dies like 1/3 into the movie and is really only there to religion dump about Caesar (ape jesus) and then he's swept away. people are complaining that that's all he was really there for. to explain the real values of Caesar and provide a foil to Proximus. and i agree to some degree. i really hope he's not actually dead. his presence and death are felt throughout the movie, as both Mae and Noa (mostly Noa vocalizes it, Mae just silently shares in his loss and i think cries at one point?) seem to mourn him, saying shit like "if Raka were here..." and especially at the end when Noa gives the Caesar pendant to her. it's the shared memory of Raka and what he devoted his life to. but they never really like, actually linger on his death. there's a moment after he's swept away, and the shot stays on the rushing waters, Raka no longer visible and plays some sad tunes, but like. C'MON. he's not really dead. he isn't please tell me he isn't PLEASE

Noa isn't Caesar. i honestly do not get why you would want otherwise. of course, he isn't Caesar. we don't need another Caesar. he had a whole three movies to be the center of. i would be extremely disappointed if they just made a carbon copy of him or made Noa like a direct descendant of him or whatever. i hate that Chosen One bullshit. Caesar was just a guy that wanted peace for his people and that got him killed in the end. Noa is also a guy who wants peace for his clan. they're both leaders and have good hearts, but like. they're different characters. i LIKE that Noa has no relation to Caesar, i LIKE that he's his own character with his own ideals and purpose. Owen Teague does a wonderful job making the character his own. i mean Andy Serkis is Andy fucking Serkis. pretty big shoes to fill and i think Teague has the right foot size you know. i heard one guy say like "we've had our time to mourn Caesar" and yeah. we have. let's accept that and move on

WHERE MY APE DIVERSITY AT. we get a fuck ton of chimps, ONE orangutan, ONE gorilla, and ONE bonobo. what the hell. i mean. what is with the bonobo villian. Koba i fucks with because bonobos are some of the most playful, nonviolent apes out there. that humanity and its cruelty could twist a naturally peaceful creature into what Koba became.. i mean, that's great. but again with Proximus? maybe trying to evoke some of the same energy and nuance Koba had? ALSO. GORILLA PSA they are like so sweet. all that muscle is there to protect their families, and they're strictly vegetarians. i feel like Rise, Dawn, & War portrayed this better with most of the gorillas getting bodyguard jobs because of all their bulk. especially when Luca tucks that flower in Nova's ear. man. and Red going out like he did. gentle giants. in Kindgom we just have Sylva. gorilla henchman for Proximus. that's it. then we have Raka, the one orangutan character that i saw. wise and knowledgeable, guides and accompanies Noa and Mae then dies. at least we get one female chimp character that's more than just wife or mother. wikipedia lists Soona as Noa's love interest, which i can totally dig, like it's there. he takes her to the telescope at the end of Kingdom, which is more than what we saw romance-wise between Caesar and Cornelia. and the only other important chimp female is Dar, Noa's mom. in Rise, Dawn & War there was usually only one of each species of ape assigned a main role, but we saw much more diversity it felt like. maybe that's because there were smaller in numbers and have since spread out in the last 300 years? also like, bonobos are known for having female-female & male-male sex. dont know about the other apes. my friend mentioned that Raka said something about having a male companion and promptly searched reddit. all they had to say was: gaype?

the visuals. dear god the visuals. this movie is just visually stunning. absolutely breathtaking. they did a great job. i mean Rise, Dawn, & War are all triumphs of cgi and are excellent examples of the animation style done right. i did hear some guy say there is a loss of texture, as mostly everything in Kingdom is cgi, from the characters to the landscapes. but there's an explosion of texture in this film. there's one point where Noa is covered in the ash of his village and you can see it on his fur. there's quite a couple water scenes where the moisture clings to the apes' fur. It's all very impressive. great work

the references!! Rise especially has a ton of them (IT'S A MADHOUSE!!! & GET YOUR STINKIN PAWS OFF ME YOU DAMN DIRTY APE), and names like Nova and Cornelius, but Kingdom... i picked up on at least three main instances, but im sure there are more. there's the scene where the apes are rounding up the feral humans, and its very reminiscent of the scene from 1968 where they're doing the same thing for sport. there's the scene where Mae is running in the field, and she jumps on that log structure to get to Noa, which is nearly identical to a similar scene in 1968. the scene when Noa, Soona, and Anaya are exploring the human bunker and they come across an old classroom. one of them picks up a doll that says a distorted "Mama" which was huge in the original because that was evidence that once man did speak, why else would he make a doll that talked? superb call backs to the og. respect what was there before

SCHLONG THEORY

here me out guys. the starring ape-human relationship in Rise was between Caesar and Will. this type of love is called storge and describes the love a child has for a parent as well as the love a parent has for their child.

the starring ape-human relationship in Dawn was ultimately between Caesar and Malcolm. which i believe is truly philia towards the end, the love between friends and allies. just two dudes trying to keep peace in the world.

in War, i mean Caesar well and truly hates the Colonel. like more than he's hated any human in his life before. close to mania, obsession. anyways it's a study on this type of relationship between an ape and a human. true, all consuming hate.

SO in the newer movies we've explored familial love, platonic love, and hate, between an ape and a human.

in Kingdom the main ape-human relationship is between Noa and Mae. and their relationship is complex. not really that friendly and certainly not familial. no trust. some kind of begrudging respect maybe? i just think it would be neat if in further installments they explored a romantic love between a human and an ape. ok.

i KNOW Noa and Soona are probably going to get ape married and they're never going to touch on the subject but i just find it hard to believe that in the last 300 years or so that's NEVER been heard of. apes have the same level of intimacy between each other as humans do in this universe and can willingly consent. what are you so afraid of wes ball

after all, the whole franchise is about how apes, when given intelligence, compare to humans and begs the question: how different are we really?

is it possible for an ape and a human to fall in love?

[dearausten]

just rewatched pride and prejudice 1995 and i loved it, even more than before! here are some thoughts:

- the best thing about this adaptation is, to me, the performance of jennifer ehle as elizabeth. honestly, she nails everything about her character, in my opinion. from lizzy’s wit and sense of humor to her firm resolution in rejecting darcy the first time and dealing with lady catherine, while also displaying all her conflictimg emotions not only during the whole wickham affair, but also when she found herself longing for darcy’s good opinion (who knows why!). she was absolutely charming and one can’t help but root for her.

- this might be obvious, but i love how it is pretty much the same as the book! it’s very clear that having six episodes worth of screen time instead of two hours as you get in movies played in their favor.

- i love the bennets! i love seeing the sisters interact! i love seeing them in their daily lives and watching their dynamics. i also think they got almost all of the characterizations perfectly. lydia, kitty, mary and mrs. bennet were all on point! however i do feel like they toned down mr. bennet’s flaws and only focused on the funny/sarcastic side of his character. other than that, i liked him too :)

- i’ve seen many people who don’t like this mr. collins but honestly i really enjoyed him. he was ridiculous and absurd, and he annoyed the fuck out of everyone, which is accurate lol. i do wish they’d made him age appropriate bc... that man is not 25 lol. anyways, i actually thought this collins was more accurate than 2005!collins.

- oh, caroline, you sneaky thing! i have nothing to say about her, really. i think she was portrayed very accurately as well. and they included the hursts!

- mr. bingley was good too! love me some golden retriever energy

- and, of course, how could i not talk about colin firth as darcy! he was DISGUSTED to be around common gentry people. he looked like he’d rather hang himself from the ceiling than be in those goddamn social gatherings for one more minute. he was so displeased with everyone and clearly thought they were nothing but a pain in his ass, and i love that lol.

- but OH MY he’s a simp! he can’t stop staring at elizabeth for the life of him. istg he is so fascinated by her. that scene at rosings when lizzy is talking to colonel fitzwilliam and darcy just stared at them while she roasts the fuck out of him????? top tier

- one thing i adored about his performance was just how miserable he looks when she isn’t around! and mind you, this is DARCY we’re talking about.

- the lake scene was great, but CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT LOOK THEY GAVE EACH OTHER IN THAT ONE SCENE???? YES, THAT LOOK. YALL KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT. IT MAKES ME WEAKKK

- the ONLY note that i have is that i wish he smiled more, especially when they meet after the letter (but before that too)

- honestly the only bad thing i have to say about this adaptation is that the second proposal felt a little... underwhelming. it’s supposed to be this big emotional moment why do they look like they’re talking about the weather 😭

my conclusion: i’ve worshipped 2005 since the first time i watched but i feel like i’ve just become a 1995 stan, it was just so so good and so faithful to the book. and yes, i finished it two days ago. yes, i’ll be rewatching today.

[gothicprep]

so, apparently marvel is in disarray. ahead of the marvels coming out this weekend, variety dropped a bomb on the studio's somewhat dire state of affairs, as the franchise has hit its first real rough patch since the release of iron man 15 years ago. among the issues: jonathan majors, whose domestic violence arrest continues to hang over marvel's plans to make his character the thanos-like heavy for the next sequence of movies, the weak box office projections for the marvels (which some have said is tracking lower than recent bombs like the flash), the unending flood of hashtag content on disney plus which is overwhelming audiences who are finding it harder to keep up with the interlocking stories that have served marvel so well over the years, shoddy visual effects, spiraling budgets such as the reported $25mil an episode for she-hulk, a show that looked terrible because of the shoddy effects work aforementioned, behind the scenes chaos as kevin feige works to slash budgets and kill projects that aren't coming together. one movie at risk is the forthcoming blade reboot with mahershala ali, which has gone through rewrite after rewrite including reportedly one draft in which blade was the fourth lead in, quote, "a narrative led by women and filled with life lessons".

that last line has provided a lot of laughs for people like jay gothicprep, and critics who insist that marvel's efforts to diversify the lineup have led to much of this disaster, indicative of disney's overall failure with things like indiana jones and the dial of destiny or animated projects like strange world or lightyear. while this is potentially true (i guess, it's possible) it doesn't seem true because this certainly wasn't the case when black panther and captain marvel were both cracking the billion dollar mark a few years ago. rather it just seems, more simply, that marvel has run its course. marvel was hit by a double-whammy of endings. the thanos storyline that'd dominated the first ten or so years of the project came to an end. at the same time, the pandemic began and disney plus started flooding the zone with content, creating a natural break point for audiences that had no desire to watch hours of tv to understand 1.5 plot points in whatever the next movie that's coming out is.

this preamble is getting kind of long, and i have a lot more to say, so i'm going to continue to thought dump about this under a cut.

first of all, i'm still laughing like a week later at the women led life lessons description. no one has disputed that it happened. that description is the funniest thing i've ever read in a trade industry report possibly ever. what in the hell, my friends. did a writer even talk to a producer about what blade was? it's a movie about a guy with a sword who kills vampires! it's pretty straighforward! that sounds like something i want to see! there were three of them already, and two of them were pretty good!

anyway, i think you can take that incredibly ridiculous description of a draft that maybe wasn't the main draft – this movie has been through tons of writers and directors – and see some of the real problems with marvel's creative direction, which is that they've stopped making movies that highlight the core concepts of their characters. there are other problems as well, but when's the last time they put out a movie that was like, "iron man. he's a guy in a metal suit and he fights a bad guy." or "spider man. it's a guy in a spider suit with spider powers. he's got girlfriend problems and he fights crime around manhattan and maybe there's dr octopus." they don't do that. their recent stretch of movies have all been these impenetrable multiverse stuff with ties to tv series that you haven't seen and maybe won't ever see. there was a whole 25 minute section in black panther 2 that was setting up armor wars and ironheart. and like. who needs that sequence, which was boring and looked like total garbage? and now armor wars is being redeveloped lol. they've just departed from a lot of the core concepts that powered their earlier films.

they have some other problems. they've leaned into a slate of characters that is not all that well-known or inherently super popular, even for marvel being able to deliver on making billion dollar films out of guardians of the galaxy and such. maybe with the exception of spider man, which they don't get a full cut from because sony owns the actual movie rights. then there's the fact that the streaming series, by all accounts, aren't great but you *feel* like you need to have seen them. they're all real big problems. marvel needs to go back to making movies that are named after a character who's a superhero with a clear concept. guy with spider powers fights crime in his neighborhood. even though those movies got kind of repetitive, they did well enough because they didn't stray too far from the character concept.

i think, too, as a viewer, when you have a studio churning out so much stuff that's not good, you get the impression that the superhero industry feels entitled to your time and entitled to your money while not delivering.

this summer also represents an interesting counterpoint to what's happened with marvel and dc. the sheer amount of stuff that you devote every waking minute to keeping track of the damn things got exhausting and made movies stop feeling like events. this summer we've had barbenheimer and the eras tour, and those have been both big events and felt exciting. barbie was a chance to be campy, oppenheimer was a chance to see something serious and cinematic, the eras tour was exciting for fans of taylor swift who couldn't afford to spend $3k on taylor swift. and they felt this way because they were all unlike anything you'd seen at the movies in recent years. they had a high standard of quality, and going, it genuinely felt like people were there because they wanted to be, not because they were being force marched by a cultural behemoth to be there. you can't summon that same kind of energy for a marvel movie when it both feels obligatory and you expect it to be bad.

it also feels like there's a certain contempt for the audience where it concerns quality problems. i mean, i don't think that this is the intention. marvel isn't saying "we can deliver this stuff that's garbage and people will see it anyway". but one of the things i thought was the most damning about that variety story was the fact that, on some of the marvel tv shows, the final effects were inserted after the shows were released. so if you watched the show on opening night, you probably didn't see the final effects work. the arrogance involved in that is insane. it speaks to a total vanished pride in putting out a good product.

even some of marvel's better regarded films were heavily edited and heavily worked on right until the end, in part because kevin feige would come in and fix things, so stuff would have to get reworked. that's why effects deadlines were super tight and people were always crunching at the very end of this. there was that incredible quote from sam raimi from a couple months before the second doctor strange came out where he was like, "i think it's done but i'm not sure. marvel, they work on their movies until the very end." the director didn't even know if his own movie was locked or not because he clearly wasn't the one making the decisions about what the final print would look like.

that can work if you're making two movies a year and have a supervisor that comes in during the process and says, "i need you to redo this, in this way". but when you stretch that out to three movies a year, plus god knows how many episodes of television, there's no way to do that and make it a high quality product.

an instructive lesson comes from the book "disneywar", which chronicles michael eisner's time at disney. and one of the things in this book was the development and deployment of "who wants to be a millionaire" in america. bob iger is head of abc at this time. the guys making this show do it for a week. audiences love it. it's putting up huge numbers. everybody is excited. it's crushing it in the ratings. and the people who made it wanted to keep doing special week or two week long engagements that people would show up for. and iger was like, "no. i want this every week, three times a week, forever." and audiences got burnt out on it quickly, because it was something that only really worked as a special that ran for a week and disappeared for a few months. that's what the disney plus strategy feels like with marvel.

[vinnystarman]

EDDSWORLD LORE ANALYSIS BUT I'M ABSOLUTELY DERANGED!!!!

"Wait this thing has LORE????" Yes!!! IT HAS LORE

I just rewatched eddsworld for the 2334idfk443th time in a row and realized I haven't seen (not that there isn't I just haven't seen) people talking about the fact that the series seems to have a really weird (and quite frankly fragile) canon, this goes to some minor details like differences between the stages of the series (retro, classical, legacy and beyond) and other stuff like how I think we actually kind of know what in the actuall hell was Tord even doing in those 8 years between his original departure and the end in eddsworld legacy BUT I'M GETTING AHEAD OF MYSELF before we start I want to make some points clear for the sake of clarity:

☆ I will be talking about the series and it's characters specifically in the context of the series, for example: I know why Tord the irl person left the series but I would be speaking only about Tord's (the character) departure, the same goes to any other irl event that had an impact on the series

☆ keep in mind this is only what I think (even though I think i'm absolutely right about everything) so if you disagree in any of my points that's absolutely fine!

☆ I will be speculating about future stuff so take all of those bits with a grain of salt because i'm a great observer but (unfortunatelly) not god so I can't acurrately see the future lolz

so…. how do we start?

well… we could start strong by one of the most interesting points I thought about!

as ridiculous as it sounds, i'm pretty convinced that Tom always knew about Tord's laboratory! and I have proof of it actually

one of the most solid proof I have appears in the episode "The Snogre" to be fair, that episode is gonna come up A LOT in this so you might want to re watch it first :3

in the minute 1:57 Tom apears with a "snow tank" that he uses to defeat the snogre, later, him and Edd have this exchange:

How'd you build that snow tank so fast?

Snow tank? (the snow falls off the ACTUALL TANK TOM CASUALLY IS OPERATING???)

this tank has the (i don't know how to call it so let's just say) serial number "CDT-01" which at the time was a nice little nudge to "moving targets" since it's the same tank the guys use in that episode but in this post "The end" world it should be noted that the "CDT-01" tank also appears in the minute 3:25 meaning up to that point the only way to access the tank was getting into Tord's laboratory and figure out what to press to get it (This tank might also be the one portrayed in movie makers but it's most likely that they are the same tank since they have the same serial number and in moving targets, this tank is stolen from Paul in that same episode AND THIS IS RELATED TO SOMETHING ELSE THAT I'M GONNA SAY HERE SO IT'S NOT A PLOT HOLE OK? BARE WITH ME)

the second one is that the lab was in Tom's room aka Tord's old room, this is the primary reason why Tord came back anyways, to get back to his laboratory (OR IS IT)

This is what I think happened:

Tom found a really suspicious button behind two frames (or one) maybe when he was moving his stuff into it and painting the walls (I highly doubt Tord had blue walls on his room), made a little mess trying to figure out what the actual fuck was going on, realized what it was and decided not to tell the guys because well… as we can see they LOVE pressing buttons and Tom knew it was gonna end up in catastrophe and shut his mouth because of that

that aside of ourselves, my second point:

The real reason why Tord was so hostile to Tom in the end wasn't (or at least not exclusively) because of his rivarly with him but more so because Tord wanted to capture monster Tom!

what do I mean by this? well to understand my point we need to understand how (i think) Tord and his army were operating at that time:

The red army as a whole has only been described once at this point in time and it was in the episode "Fun Dead" in the second 0:08 by the news lady as "Armed vigilantes" that were controlling the Zombie situation (that they [even though accidentally] caused) this meaning that as for now they aren't seen as a threat, on the contrary! They were helping the population! and maybe i'm giving Tord too much credit for this but I bet THAT (beeing seen as vigilantes and not some terrorist group) was intentional, you see, Tord is smart and a little manipulative, the most "evil" thing to do was letting the zombie infection run free and then take control of the post apocaliptic, in shambles world but he didn't, Why? you may ask; because he is more treacherous than Judas, that's why, maybe i'm looking a little too much into this but if this is the route he is going he would need more than one threat right? this is where monster Tom comes into play, I DON'T KNOW WHY ANY OF YOU HAVE EVER ASKED IT BUT WHY DID TOM BECAME A MONSTER RANDOMLY IN POWEREDD? I know it was hinted before that maybe he is half demon somehow??? BUT LIKE… MAYBE I'M DUMB BUT THAT'S WEIRD. And as the scientist he is (why don't I see more scientist Tord fanart?) Tord asked himself the same question, we know that because when we took a look into his laboratory we saw that he was studying monster Tom as it's shown in the end part 2 in the minute 2:42 (THIS GUY'S LAB IS SO MUCH TO UNPACK) this indicates that it isn't crazy to assume he was trying to take Tom out of his senses to get to monster Tom, because as we can see in that same episode he is wanted by the authorities for a large amount of money, probably because they got caught doing some sketchy stuff so, in an attempt to hype up his organization's reputation once more he tried to cause another problem for them to solve

this is what I think happened: Tord somehow knew about monster Tom and realized he could use him not only as another way to make his organization look like heroes to the public eye but also for studying (and maybe experimentation but not really sure since at that point Tord already had that weird chemical that gave life to stuff and converted people to zombies) he assumed the way to get to the monster was making Tom furious so that's what he tried, that's why he was specially hostile to Tom, that's why he was so surprised when Tom left the house (because i've seen people assume that was his objective but if it was then why did he looked so taken aback?)

continuing with Tord my next point is: We kind of know what Tord was up to all along and i'm not so sure he created the red army

WHAAAT???? VINCENT YOU ARE CRAZY FOR THAT ONE!!! WHAT MADE YOU THINK THAT TORD DIDN'T CREATED THE RED ARMY? THAT'S LITERALLY HIS TRADE MARK!!! HE IS THE RED LEADER, EVERYWHERE HE GOES THE RED ARMY SYMBOL APPEARS!!!

well yes, that is true but just because he later on becomes the red leader it doesn't mean he created the red army as it is.

let me explain: in the episode "moving targets" not only do we are shown Tord's fondness of militaristic activities but also in the minute 6:12 we see Paul and some unnamed enemy base guard (that i'm pretty sure had a fanon name but I completely forgot oh well) and you may ask "ok so what?" ... Sir that's Paul, this openly states that before he joined the red army, Paul was with this other random army which if you look closely has a suspiciously similar design to the red army's uniform, not only that but again, in Tord's lab we can see a picture of 4 people (minute 2:42) and these people are: Tord, the enemy base guard marked with a big X (maybe he's dead or simply left the army), Paul and Patryck, this meaning that Tord knew them from before, now, as always, here is what I think happened: After his departure in the episode 25ft under the seat, Tord at some point found the enemy army from the episode moving targets and considering how the gang messed them up they weren't in the best conditions, so at some point between the episodes movie makers and space face Tord takes control of this army and makes it HIS red army, this could've been by force or (what I see more plausible but who knows) joined the army as it is and began working his way up until he ended up leader of it CONTINUING WITH TORD BECAUSE HE IS A SNEAKY BASTARD (i love him i hate him so much) WHAT IS GOING ON WITH HIS LAB??? Tord's laboratory even though solves some questions it opens up even MORE questions like these: HOW DID HE KNEW ABOUT MONSTER TOM IF HE ONLY APPEARED IN POWEREDD AND THAT EPISODE AIRED LONG AFTER HE LEFT?? WHY DOES HE HAVE BARRELS OF THE WEIRD LIFE-GIVING CHEMICAL FROM "THE SNOGRE" AND "FUN DEAD" IF THAT ALSO HAPPENED LONG AFTER HIS DEPARTURE??? WHY DID HE INSTALLED A SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE HOUSE???

WHAT DOES THE MAP WITH THE NOTE MEAN???

well I have answers for 3 of those 4 questions, so, hear me out on this one: Tord kept using his laboratory even after he left. THIS SOUNDS CRAZY AND IT IS BUT HEAR ME OUT.

in the end part one, even though he was let in by edd Tord tried to sneak into Tom's room anyway, and he did it in a way that showed that maybe, just maybe it wasn't his first time doing it and if we look at it from a strategic perspective it's basically the perfect place to hide something like that.

it's a place that no one would search him in because well... at that point it had been years since he left, it's just a normal house where three friends live, nothing suspicious going on with that so if he had his laboratory right there it would be convenient... Really convenient, this is the reason he has stuff from stuff he couldn't have possibly had from before, that's why he had time to build his giant robot, he had all the time he was living there and also when he wasn't, that's what he knew about monster tom. that's why he had pictures of his army friends, that's why he had the chemical, because he never truly left.

this would also make my first idea even more possible because Tom wasn't even surprised to see Tord's laboratory in his room and Tord wasn't surprised either to see Tom there, this meaning that maybe somehow they had seen eachother before, maybe while Tord was sneaking in or out and Tom in an act of friendship decided to not get Edd or Matt involved for their own good

AND NOW, LET'S STOP SPEAKING ABOUT TORD FOR A MOMENT BECAUSE I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT EDD.

IS FUTURE EDD GONNA PROTAGONIZE THE COMICS MATT SPOKE ABOUT IN HIS UPDATES VIDEO?????

I HAVE PLENTY OF REASONS TO THINK THAT WE ARE GOING TO SEE MORE ABOUT THE FUTURE BRIEFLY POSTRAYED IN WTFUTURE BECAUSE IF WE TAKE AN ACTUALL LOOK AT THE TEASERS MATT SHOWED THEY SHOW A FUTURISTIC CITY WITH DRONES AND SOMEONE WITH EDD'S DISTINCT HAIR AND FUTURE EDD'S COAT ENTERING A BUILDING THROUGH THE WINDOW SO IN MY OPINION WE ARE GOING TO GET EVEN MORE INSIGHT ON HOW'S THE WORLD DOING UNDER THE RED LEADER'S LEADERSHIP WHOHOOOOO long live cola

that aside because I got overly happy when I remembered that

WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE LOBSTERS.

in the episodes "the surf and turf wars pt 1 and 2" we are presented with a new problem, for the ones that haven't seen it or don't remember, in the episodes, Matt gets turned into a lobster monster by a chemical with dubious origin, we actually have a name for this chemical! it's named "NM-8" and ok, this is maybe a far FAR stretch BUT I CAN'T POSSIBLY BE THE ONLY ONE WITH THE THEORIE THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE THIS CHEMICAL IS AN ADVANCED FORMULA OF THAT LIFE-GIVING CHEMICAL OF TORD'S I say this since both substances have similar effects, and according to this, in the same episode, the barrel of nm-8 ends up there anyways because while transporting the chemical THAT IS WIDELY STATED THE ORIGIN OF IT IS HIGLY CONFIDENTIAL NO QUESTIONS ASKED the ship hits a bump and when the captain asked "what happened" is sent to the brig because he broke the rule of not asking questions, this leading to the barrel falling overboard and ending up in the beach where it's found by Matt and the episode continues

who would need such level of secretism? who would need that much confidentiality? well I have certain people in mind, if we think about it from a narrative perspective it would make sense for the chemical to be property of the same guy (or guys) that made the other chemical to be responsible for it, maybe in some elaborate scheme to finally get back at the world after the giant robot fiasco and hey, maybe it was impossible before but now with the Tord Youtooz? WITH TORD APPEARING IN MATT'S VIDEO AS AN INTERRUPTION WITH THE STYLE OF A STOLEN TV SIGNAL???? IT'S PLAUSIBLE AND IT WOULD MAKE A LOT OF SENSE! but as always that is only speculation, I can't see the future, just theorize and communicate what I think and let's be honest, the next episode will probably be about the guys cleaning up the lobster mess (WHICH IS AMAZING AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE) but always remember, Tord ends up taking the world in the future anyways so stopping him right now, whatever he is up to is not really an option unless someone comes back from the future to help

AND THAT'S ALL SORRY IF IT'S MESSY, I STARTED WRITING THIS AT 3 AM AND HAD TO WRITE IT IN SEPARATED MOMENTS SO YEAH THE CONTINUITY IS NOT GREAT AND ALSO ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LENGUAJE SO YEAHHHHHH

[maddys-nerd-blog]

Maddy’s Favorite TMNT Films Ranked!

It’s my birthday!!! I’m officially 25, which makes me shudder cuz I’m in my quarter life crisis now. REGARDLESS! Since it’s the day of my birth I thought it right to do something special!!

And that’s rank ALL the TMNT movies from my least favorite to my all-time faves!

I’m honored you all enjoyed my silly episode ranking, it was tons of fun to do and I loved writing it!! Chatting about these turtles has been nothing but fun and brings me tons of comfort, so I’m happy to do one of these again! I just pray my opinions aren’t too controversial 🤣🤣

Ten movies, all about four teenage mutant ninja turtles. One nerd to review these. This’ll be fun!!

Let’s kick some shell! 💜💜💜

Some criteria!

These are just my thoughts on the films! I’m not the end all, be all of what movie is THE BEST or THE WORST. If you like a movie that may have ranked lower, that’s awesome!! Let’s all share our opinions on them and have a fun time!

Straight to DVD films are included in this lineup!

The live concerts and We Wish You a Turtles Christmas are not allowed cuz those are fever dreams 🤣

I’ll be doing a classic ranking system from the bottom all the way to the top!

SPOILERS BEWARE! … AGAIN 🤣🤣 and some slight swearing, I may have gotten excited while writing this 🤣🤣🤣

Let’s begin!

10: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3 ( 1993 )

My Score: 2 out of 10.

This movie is a fever dream and I can’t be convinced otherwise 🤣

I mean, can you blame me? This was made in a last ditch effort to get Turtlemania back in the mainstream just as it began to die down… and this was a BAD way to win fans back.

From the terrible comedy to the worst TMNT villain in the franchise to grace the silver screen in the form of Walker. Don’t even get me started on the god awful turtle costumes this time around because… dear lord, they’re nightmare fuel. If I saw these guys in an alley I’d run for the hills! They’re downright grotesque to look at! All the characters are either whiny, boring, or unlikable. I have nothing but respect to the voice actors of Leonardo and Michelangelo for sticking it through all three of the classic movies, despite the terrible script they had to work with in this installment. I also feel awful for Elias Koteas, who got the short end of the hockey stick— see what I did there? I’ll see myself out 😂— after ALL the grief Karen’s made him deal with after the first movie, getting booted from the sequel as a result of their nagging, only to be brought back to this mess. And what was with the ancestor-but-maybe-not-but-wait-he-might-be guy that Koteas was also playing??? His character made ZERO sense!

And that Splinter puppet???? THAT THING IS UGLY.

I would never watch this one again unless it was for memes. “What did you expect, maybe the Addams family?!”

No, but I expected a better script than this BS.

9: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows ( 2016 )

My Score: 3.4 out of 10

This may be a tighter script and a slightly more coherent plot, but DAMN, I can’t bare to watch this one for more than ten minutes on a good day.

First of all, Leonardo in this one is downright terrible and a bad leader. I’m STUNNED he never gets reprimanded by his Sensei for his nasty treatment of his brothers— telling Donnie to LIE TO HIS FAMILY ABOUT THE OOZE????? That’s out of character! Belittling Raph with that whole ��There’s only one vote that counts’ line???? And putting the blame on him and Mikey for the police station fiasco?! He comes off as a bully!!

The plot is somewhat stronger than the first but it’s just taking elements from the Marvel movies, such as the hole in the sky like The Avengers. Shoving needless fan service in our faces as if to say ‘SEE??? WE LEARNED FROM THE FIRST ONE, WE HEARD YOU, THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED RIGHT?! LOOK! THERE’S A FROZEN NEUTRINO ON KRANG’S SHIP!’ Sorry, but this ain’t the Sonic movie, it isn’t going to work unless you actually respect the material you’re adapting! Like with the Sonic movie! They fixed Sonic’s look because of fan demand, and they actually respected their advise! Here though? It’s like they’re just throwing it in our faces just to spite us. It’s not coming from a place of love. Casey Jones in this film is a joke— what a waste to this iconic character to turn him from a badass vigilante into a whining baby vying for April’s affection. Bebop and Rocksteady are annoying as hell. Stockman sucks. Karai is a nothing sandwich. Shredder barely does ANYTHING. And Krang??? EW. Just… ew.

But for all my ranting this far, I do have some positives from this one— April actually gets to have a playful personality which is fun! Once again the turtles are the highlight. Their designs this time around are great!! Less accessories but it allows for more room to show the guys’ fighting abilities and the accessories they do have is there as an added bonus, not to clutter their look! I feel like this was Donnie and Raph’s movie more than anything! The amount of attention they get in this film alone shows that there were writers who loved these guys and treated them with respect! That scene where Donnie single-handedly TOOK CONTROL OF A CRASHING AIRPLANE USING HIS BO AS THE STEERING?! THAT WAS SICK!!! And Raph once again is an absolute BEAST in battle! The motion capture artists are phenomenal as the titular man characters, they all had great chemistry together! I just feel awful that they had to be treated so badly behind the scenes…

It’s not a great movie, and even with the few redeeming factors it still makes me irritated.

8: Turtles Forever ( 2009 )

My Score: 3.5 out of 10

PLEASE DON’T HATE ME 🤣

Remember what I said about us not getting a proper crossover until Ciro Nieli adapted the 1987 turtles into the show?

Yeeeeeah. This one was NOT it. And this was supposed to be the 25th anniversary movie???

For some reason, ALL the ‘03 turtles are so bitter and mean to the 87 counterparts. They’re putting them down at every instance where combat or character bonding is involved, which is ridiculous. ‘03 Donnie WOULD NEVER be so nonchalant about meeting another version of himself— and why does he constantly put down ‘87 Donatello for his inventions??? They should be hyping each other up and talking techno babble! Why is Splinter the only likable person in the whole movie?! Why did they change April and Casey’s designs to look like random anime characters?! ( NOTE: I know they changed them to match the 2007 film at the time, I’m just being funny )

I already can’t stand the ‘03 version of Shredder but DAMN, they’re making him out to be the most amazing version of him out there. It’s like the writers behind this movie are ragging ‘87 Shredder— WHY DID THEY MAKE HIM A HAPLESS IDIOT?! They gave ‘87 Shredder so much disrespect! In the original cartoon, while he could be used for laughs, he was also taken seriously and seen as a very real threat. He was no slouch whatsoever either, he easily took the turtles out in one episode in season two! The only ones who actually stayed ‘in character’ were Bebop and Rocksteady! It’s like this movie is tearing down what made the OG series fun and iconic to build the ‘03 turtles up to be THE greatest team. I just wanted these two teams to be working together and learning from one another in their own ways! Like, imagine a scene where ‘87 Raphael teaches ‘03 Raph to rip the fourth wall! Or ‘03 Mike and ‘87 Mikey showing each other their own nunchuck tricks! You know? ACTUAL BONDING????

And yes, the OG voice actors were swapped cuz of union disputes by 4Kids. The only one that sounds kind of like his original voice was the guy playing ‘87 Raph. Otherwise? They all sound pretty bad. It actually made me cringe the first time I got around to hearing them, I did NOT get used to them.

I understand there’s an extended cut out there that addresses some of the issues that were cut for time, but unfortunately we don’t have that version to go off of, so I’m left with this.

All I have to say is, THANK YOU CIRO NIELI!!!

7: TMNT ( 2007 )

My Score: 6 out of 10

No this was not intentional 🤣🤣🤣

We’re nearing the halfway point and we’ve reached the TMNT movie I saw as a kid! Fun fact, this movie came out after my birthday and I BEGGED my dad to take me to see it. So as a birthday treat he took me and my brother to see it opening day! Not only was this my introduction to the turtles, but it made eight year old me curious about the series!

Is it as good as I remember?

Well… no, but it’s not bad!

I’ll admit, the plot is kinda slapdash and nonsensical. Like… I know, I know, this is a franchise about teenage turtles who learn ninjutsu and fight a man dressed like a cheese grater. But even for me this story is out there. Why do the Stone Generals have no personality or defining traits other than the weapons they use? Why is Winters so generic? The concept of an immortal general searching for thousands of years for the lost monsters to atone for his terrible mistakes is cool, just not for this franchise if that makes sense. Also this movie doesn’t seem to wanna give Donnie or Mikey any agency; they’re mainly in the background doing comedic stuff or off on the wayside with nothing to do whilst Leo and Raph are pushed into the spotlight. For a story centered around bringing a fractured family back together we don’t get to see how Mikey or Donnie have been handling Leo’s absence during his time spent in Costa Rica.

Yet through this muddy plot we have some of the most iconic/ memorable moments in this franchise! Raph being the Nightwatcher— which is coming back in the comics soon!, Donnie’s tech support meme, THE LEO VS RAPH FIGHT ON THE ROOFTOPS WHICH STILL LOOKS FREAKIN AMAZING TO THIS DAY???? Seriously, Imagi Studios had such an incredible future ahead of them, it’s a shame they went bankrupt! Some of my favorite actions moments in this movie are towards the end where the family is in Winters’ compound and we’re treated to a one-take camera pan of them brawling through a slew of Foot ninja!

And the voice cast here is great!!! Nolan North as Raph??? James Arnold Taylor as Leo?! CHRIS EVANS AS CASEY?! AND MOTHER FING MAKO, AKA UNCLE IROH HIMSELF AS SPLINTER?! It’s a great ensemble!!! Everyone here clearly gave it their all, they should all be praised for this!!

You can tell there was a ton of attention to detail put into this one, and that the people behind it had tons of fun animating it. We could have had a really cool film series on our hands had the studio not fallen under. Otherwise, I still enjoy watching this purely for nostalgia purposes!

6: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Secret of the Ooze ( 1991 )

My Score: 6.9 out of 10

For a movie made right after the first to cash in on the Turtlemania high, I gotta say, this one’s really fun!

It’s not without flaws though; Karen’s gotta ruin the fun once again and the tone was dragged WAAAAAAY down to take away the darker themes from the previous film cuz they thought children couldn’t handle any action that was too violent. Karen’s also took Mikey’s nunchucks away and got rid of Casey. The story is goofier and doesn’t allow for any space for these characters to breathe or emote past being lighthearted and funny. April isn’t as down to earth since Judith Hoag was replaced, Casey Jones is sorely missed in this story, Tokka and Razar are just dumb, bumbling monsters made to replace Bebop and Rocksteady. Professor Perry is obviously supposed to be Stockman, and the Shredder doesn’t truly engage with the turtles until the end of the movie. The Super Shredder was just a missed opportunity! The turtles don’t get to use their weapons at all except for Donnie cuz he uses a giant stick.

The positives outweigh all of that though! As always the turtles are fun and lovable, the new voice for Donnie is awesome, we get some great comedy spliced throughout the film, the Go Ninja dance sequence is so memorable that to this day people are still bringing it up! And I’d be remiss if I didn’t bring up the introduction to Keno, played by Ernie Ryes Jr., the stunt double of Donatello in the first film!! Keno is a GREAT addition to this cast! I adored his quips and the action stunts he pulls off are thrilling! I honestly think he’d be an awesome character to keep bringing back in new projects! COUGH MUTANT MATHEM SHOW COUGH. I wish he was in more stuff cuz he really is a fun addition to the roster! I even had the opportunity to meet Ernie Ryes Jr. this last summer with a friend of mine, and he was SO nice and SO chill! He was so excited to meet fans who were talking about TMNT, and when I told him how much the franchise meant to me, he gave me a hug and took a pic with me!!! He was such a great guy!!!

I can always go back to this one and smile throughout the movie! Also, GO NINJA GO NINJA GO—

ONTO THE TOP FIVE!! From here on out these are the movies I can rewatch over and over and never grow tired of viewing them!! So let’s get this party started!!

5: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ( 2014 ) ⭐️

My Score: 7.8 out of 10

Say what you will, but I love the first movie more than the sequel 🤣

I love this movie, it’s a ton of fun and the action is truly a spectacle! I feel like I had more fun with this first movie than it’s sequel because, firstly, the plot is quick and engaging. Sure, there are some issues, but I can forgive it because…

This movie IS JUST FUN.

I know this is gonna be a controversial opinion but I really like the first movie over the sequel! I really liked April! I’m of the opinion that Megan Fox can be a decent actress if she’s given the right script, and in this movie, despite the fact she might not have the most compelling arc, she’s still a good interpretation of the spunky reporter we all love! Will Arnet is also pretty funny as Vern! I still think Sacks should have been Stockman instead of Shredder. Making that swap has no integral change to the plot and it would have made more sense. Like… why not keep the mad scientist character as the already established mad scientist? The origin change inspired by the IDW comics may be jarring but I didn’t mind it! It’s just a different iteration of their upbringing but it still remains true to the turtles themselves!

The motion capture technology for the turtles is jaw dropping. I mean it. It feels like Megan Fox is making direct eye contact with these giant mutants, they’re interacting with the scene and characters, when they engage people in combat you FEEL those blows and believe they’re actually beating the snot out of these thugs.

But by far, the turtles are the biggest highlight of this movie. They’re tons of fun to watch and their banter and chemistry is great!

Do they have tons of needless accessories? Yeah

Do they look cluttered? Yeah

But does that take from their personality? NO

Donnie IS A CINNAROLL AND MUST BE CHERISHED. I feel his own techy gadgets and gear adds to his introverted personality! He’s such a lovable dork and I really liked him in this one! Jeremy Howard is a perfect fit to voice/ act for him, nobody can convince me otherwise. PLUS THAT ONE MOMENT WHERE HE SMASHES HIS BO INTO A FOOT GOON’S KNEECAP????

Raph IS A FREAKIN BEAST! GOD-DAYUM, this turtle is easily the strongest incarnation of the hothead to date! Tossing shipping containers like it’s nothing, casually breaking through steel fans to create a blockade against the Foot! I might be in the minority but Alan Richardson is THE first voice I think of when I’m told to say which Raph I prefer!

Mikey is still a bit iffy for me cuz of the weird innuendo jokes, but I can see why people like him! I still think him flying around on a hoverboard skateboard is dope as hell though. And Leo is likable in this one!! He’s actually a responsible older brother who’s devoted to his family and not a selfish jerk keeping secrets from his brothers 🤣🤣😂

Plus, the emotional parts of this one hit harder than the sequel for me, especially on my first viewing. The Splinter Vs Shredder fight is intense and really REALLY well choreographed, very inventive and exciting with all the stunts Splinter pulls off. The moment where Leo and Mikey both scream for their father, the blink and you miss it line of Leo calling Splinter ‘dad’— which was improvised by Leo’s motion capture actor— and the gut-wrenching aftermath of the battle where they’re led away in chains believing their father is dead… that may have gotten me misty eyed.

The snow chase? Badass.

The climax? Pretty damn good.

That elevator scene that was entirely off script and improvised by the motion capture actors? BEST SCENE IN THE ENTIRE FILM.

Is this the best? No, but it didn’t have to be! I love this one! And I can happily say it’s the most fun I’ve had with the Bayverse turtles 🤣

4: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ( 1990 ) ⭐️

My Score: 8.9 out of 10

This is, without question, one of the most stunning displays of practical effects and costume work in any film made at this time. Henson’s Creature Workshop truly outdid themselves in this feature with their work on the turtles.

The turtles look like living, breathing creatures. They actually look as though they’re real! There a small flaws, yes, but I can look past it because the amount of detail and effort that went into these things is incredible!! The stunt actors brought the action to a whole new level in those suits! You can tell every ounce of passion was put into this, and everyone had so much faith in seeing that these turtles lifelike! Brian Tochi, Josh Pais, Corey Feldman and Robbie Rist were perfectly cast as the four mutant turtles!!!

Judith Hoag plays a phenomenal April! Fun, spunky, witty and clever! I met her last summer too and she was truly wonderful!! Such a kind woman who listened to my story and connected with me!

Whoever hired Elias Koteas as Casey needs an eternal raise. He looks like he popped out of the comic and came to life. He was perfect!!

Splinter in this movie IS A GREAT FATHER AND AN AWESOME PARENT.

Shredder gives me chills he’s so intimidating.

When this movie came out everyone went bonkers with Turtlemania fever. The critics slept on this one because this was Eastman and Laird’s comics brought to reality. Steve Barron of Take on Me fame delivered on presenting the dark and gritty nature of the turtle’s lives and how brutal the Foot truly is.

I gotta highlight that score for this film because John DuPrez??? You’re a GENIUS.

My only issue is Danny. He was just obnoxious and selfish the whole way through until the climax. Like… hope you have a couple thousand dollars left to give April instead of the 20 you stole, kid, YOU GOT HER HOUSE BURNED DOWN.

THAT FIGHT SCENE ON THE ROOFTOP IS DOPE AND FUCKING AMAZING. AND CASEY CASUALLY TURNING SHREDDER INTO CRUSHED TUNA???? WE LOVE A BASED CASEY.

I don’t know what else to say other than this is the epitome of a true 90’s classic.

3: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie ( 2022 ) 🥉

My Score: 9 out of 10

Holy. Shit.

This movie LOOKS FUCKING GORGEOUS. DISNEY WHO????? DREAMWORKS WHO???

Before I got into the fandom I found this movie through the trailer and Black Nerd Comedy’s discussion about it. On a day I was bored I turned this on.

AND THIS MADE MY JAW DROP.

I had ZERO clue this movie looked as visually pleasing as it did. I adore this film and the animation behind it. It’s so clean, so slick, the pacing is just right, the action alone made the hair on my arms stand up! I love watching the animatics and storyboards behind the action scenes of this film just to study it and marvel at how freakin talented these artists and animators are!!!!

The voice cast knocked it out of the ballpark! Ben Schwartz in particular deserves massive praise for his performance as Leo, such a dynamic range of emotion to balance out the ‘comedy guy’ to ground him in this serious situation. Plus, Sora from Kingdom Hearts is in this as Casey Jr! 🤣🤣 his character arc having to change from the carefree prankster to the leader who had to step up and save his family is a thrilling plot point we see unfold!

I loved the characters!! I loved the score!!! I loved how this film wasn’t afraid to be genuinely SCARY with the Krang.

The angst???? The whump???? THE CLIMACTIC SHOWDOWN???? CHEFS KISS!!

WHY DID I NOT DISCOVER RISE SOONER?!

I can’t help but gush over this movie of because this is top notch quality!!! I have nothing to say, this one is OP!

2: Batman Vs The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ( 2019 ) 🥈

My Score: 9.8 out of 10

I.

FUCKING.

LOVE.

THIS CROSSOVER.

Literally one of the best crossover films of all time. I adore this Hellboy art style for the film, I adore the opening intro where it’s all German-deco-Impressionism/ noir influenced and it’s all dark and covered in shadow minus the blips of color to symbolize the characters.

I adore the handling of the martial arts versus the brutal, grounded combat style of Batman! I love how the animators literally used the backgrounds to their advantage and made them pieces for the characters to use as weapons!

I adore how the turtles have such natural banter and chemistry with one another! I love how Batgirl and Donnie bond!!! I adore how everyone plays off of each other! The dialogue is fun and full of charm! I loved watching Batman and Shredder going completely off the rails on each other!

I love Donnie!!

I love Mikey!!

I love Batgirl!!

I love the subtle reference to Pink Floyd!!!

I LOVE ALL THE REFERENCES TO ALL THE DIFFERENT ITERATIONS OF TMNT HISTORY BECAUSE YOU KNOW THESE WRITERS/ STORYBOARDERS/ DIRECTORS CARED ABOUT THIS.

My only complaint? The Batman villains are underutilized, their mutant designs are bland as hell and Joker and Harley suck. But I’ve always hated those two so that���s not an issue with the film itself.

That pizza party at the end MAKES this for me. I got the comics this was adapted from, those are SOOOOO GOOD!

Nothing but high praise here. All my heart goes to this one. And this used to be my champion, until this movie blew it out of the water…

1: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem ( 2023 ) 👑

My Score: 12 out of 10

This. THIS is the quintessential TMNT film experience.

Call me biased. Call me boring. Call me basic, but THIS MOVIE SAVED ME THIS PAST SUMMER.

The teaser came out the week of my birthday last year. I couldn’t stop smiling when we got that first taste of what the animation was going to be like. It was like a feast for the eyes!

I trained myself not to watch ANYTHING past that first trailer. I had to ignore leaks and spoilers for MONTHS, I even ignored the posters of the characters themselves because I wanted to be genuinely surprised by who was in the movie. It was like I was prepping for Endgame all over again. I got the figures to prepare for the movie, I bought early fan screening tickets in advance, I took my best friend with me to share the moment cuz there was no way I was NOT gonna have my bestie there too. I even custom tie dyed a shirt with Leo and Donnie’s colors and decked myself out in TMNT gear the day of the premier. I went into that movie bouncing in my seat.

And I left that movie smiling with joy and laughing and crying. And then I proceeded to see it THREE MORE TIMES IN THEATERS. That’s an honor only reserved for the movies that have moved me enough to cry.

The plot is simple but the twists and turns they take leaves you surprised and on the edge! The soundtracks are STELLAR, both the score and the music they used. There are plenty of Easter eggs to find on a rewatch. The jokes ALWAYS LAND! I love these weird cringy turtles and their memes 🤣🤣

The turtles are precious babies that must be protected! Leo is awkward but lovable. Donnie is a Cinnaroll. Raph is hilarious and probably needs a stress toy to calm his anger. Mikey is a joy to watch and he’s relatable! April is fun as hell, MUTANT MAYHEM SPLINTER IS A GREAT DAD AND IN MY TOP THREE BEST RAT DADS LIST. Superfly is HELLA scary, the iconic mutants they included are fun, MONDO GECKO MY BABY BOY LOOK AT HIM GO!

This voice cast is going to become iconic. Everyone from Ice Cube to Jackie Chan to Paul Rudd to the very first actual teen cast of the titular characters!!! Nicolas Cantu, Micah Abbey, Brady Noon and Shamon Brown Jr delivered excellent performances and brought these guys to life!

THIS ANIMATION IS SO UNIQUE AND COOL!!! It looks like EVERY medium was explored and used— everything from 3D to sketchy hand drawn, erratic wild outlining to claymation?! DUDE THIS IS LITERALLY SPIDERVERSE BUT FOR TMNT!!!

The MOTHER FUCKING NO DIGGITY MONTAGE ARE YOU KIDDING ME—

It was all I wanted. It was everything I wanted it to be and then some. After the shit I had to go through in 2023, it felt like a giant breath of fresh air to enjoy something I was so excited for, if only just for an hour and a half. I went straight home and showed my older sister, who was recovering at home at the time during one of her treatments, all the merch I got from the fan event and rattling off about the movie. She laughed and said ‘I’m glad you had a great time!’

Not gonna lie, I was apprehensive when I heard Seth Rogan was the one helming this project cuz his track record of movies hasn’t been the most… friendly to sit through. But, with this? I tip my hat to him! He delivered for the fans, big time.

I loved this film. It’s my favorite TMNT movie of all time. I’m totally stoked for the new series coming out this summer. All I have left to say?

COWABUNGA! 💜❤️🧡💙

TADA~! And that’s it! This took me a week to finish but I’m proud of it!! 😁 I had so much fun making this list!!!

What would you rank these movies? I’d love to know and hear your thoughts on them!! 😁

Thanks for reading!! Have a great day! 💜💜💜💜

@queen-with-the-quill @tending-the-hearth @mermmarie @lameboobah @tmnt-tychou @indieyuugure @wasted-and-ready @figuringitoutasigoalong @angelicdavinci @zandiiangelspit @jadethest0ne @turtle-babe83

[anythingelsereally014]

Cleaning up my drafts,,,,

Sick J/ames wanting to give R/egulus a special birthday

"You are not going today," Peter says casually. "You'll be staying in bed until I tell you otherwise."

"Who are snnff hh'tdd huh'dx snff who are you, my mother?" James snaps back in between sniffles. "I'mb goin'g sdrrrk I am going and you can't do anything to stop me."

Pete doesn't say a word and James smiles triumphantly. He'll go out with Regulus whether his friends like it or not.

He quickly gets up from his bed, but everything starts to spin and the next time he notices, he's in Sirius' bed and Remus is bringing him a glass of water.

"What happen'ded?" He sniffles a few times to no avail. "I ndeed to go out with Reg today."

"Prongs, you're sick," Sirius says calmly. "My brother will understand that you can't go out today."

"But I huh'tdx hih'xx snfff hh'tdd hh'xx sdrkkk prombissed."

"James, mate," Remus puts a hand on his shoulder. "I'll text him and tell him you won't make it, okay?"

He nods tiredly. He won’t lie, he's feeling awful. Absolutely fatigued. His whole body hurts, his head is fuzzy and full of snot and he can’t go a single minute without–

heh'tshhh huh'tishhh sdrkkk

Without sneezing.

But it's Reg's first birthday since they got together and James planned a nice date for them to celebrate. Everything was perfect, he just didn't count on getting sick with the plague.

"Just try to sleep now, you need it."

He doesn't protest much, falling asleep almost instantly. It's like his body is begging him to rest, it's heavy and he feels like he's swimming in honey. Moving is too difficult.

"James, darling, you're awake," Regulus says as James opens his eyes again. "Do you need anything?"

"It's your birthday."

"I'm well aware."

"You don't turn 24 every year."

"No, but I'll turn 25, 26, 27..."

"I planned everything and we were going to hh'xx snfff heh'tishh snffff to that fancy restaurant you like and then to the amusement park."

"We can go any other day, we can go as soon as you're feeling better."

James shakes his head. "I wanted to give you s special day."

"My dear James, I don't care about any of that, okay?"

"I do." He says with a heavy sigh that turns into a coughing fit. "I care about that. I want you to have a special day."

Regulus smiles. "How about this, I bring the mattress to the living room and we camp there to watch movies. Sirius, Remus, and Peter are out to a movie marathon at the cinema, but they can join us once they get home."

James ponders. "What do you want to watch?" He's still unsure, Regulus deserves more than movies at home on his birthday. "And are you sure this is enough?"

Regulus kisses his forehead, frowning. "You have a fever, dearest. I'll get you some Advil."

He does just that, giving James two pills and a glass of water.

"Drink up, yeah? And you are more than enough. I'm happy to spend my birthday with you in any way we can, okay? I love you."

[1lostsoul0fishbowl]

do u have any sibling headcanons for Max and Eddie?

like maybe activities they do together or shenanigans they get into?

Okay first of all I LOVE YOU for asking this, because I live and breathe the Munson-Mayfield Sibling Agenda! 😄 I have a zillion headcanons for them but here are just a few:

They made up their own secret code language and absolutely refuse to explain it to anyone else. Eddie won’t even tell Chrissy what the code words mean.

They have their own private walkie-talkie channel, which they immediately change if one of the other kids manages to find it.

They talk every single day. Even if it’s only for two minutes, a quick “Hey. You doing okay? Alright, great. Catch ya tomorrow. Love you.”

In the Lostsoul Universe, Max escaped Vecna with only one arm badly broken. While her arm was in a cast, Eddie would brush and braid her hair for her every morning before school. He was actually a little sad when she finally got the cast off and could do it herself again, so every now and then she still asks him to do it for her.

Whenever they go grocery shopping together they play a game where they try to sneak something weird into the other person’s cart without them noticing. Five points if they don’t notice until the checkout line. Ten points if they accidentally buy the thing. They’ve kept a running tally for over a year now, and Max is winning 35-5.

If Eddie loses Max in the store, he will absolutely scream “MARCO!” at the top of his lungs. And as embarrassed as she is, she never fails to holler back “POLO!”

They both love McDonald’s and they eat there, as Chrissy says, way too often. Eddie introduced Max to dipping fries into a milkshake, and Max taught Eddie to put the hash brown right into the middle of the Egg McMuffin.

They also play a game called “my sibling’s an expert”. It involves going to the flea market and waiting to be approached by a seller. Some lady will innocently say “would you like to buy a picture frame?” And Eddie will immediately respond “oh, my sister’s an expert on picture frames!” and then Max has to make up some ridiculous facts about why frames are always rectangular and never square. Or at the homemade jellies table Max will casually tell the old couple “you know, my brother’s an expert jelly checker” and Eddie has to convince them not only what a jelly checker is but that he definitely is one. 25 points to whoever makes up a plausible sounding story without laughing. 50 points if they can get the seller to believe it.

Before Mystery Science Theater 3000 was a thing, Eddie and Max had perfected the art of wisecracking and riffing on movies. They actually got banned from the local movie theater for talking too much and distracting everyone around them. Before renting a movie, sometimes Chrissy will make Eddie swear to just keep quiet and let her watch without adding his own dialogue. More than once she’s threatened to duct-tape their mouths shut.

Eddie sometimes forgets that Max isn’t actually his biological sister. Once an old lady in the grocery store asked him where his sister got that lovely red hair, and Eddie spent a few minutes trying to think if he had any ginger relatives before he remembered.

Max, on the other hand, never forgets that Eddie isn’t actually her brother, and worries a lot about him replacing her. Finally Eddie made up a set of fake adoption papers, formally adopting her as his little sister “until the end of time”. He set up a ‘courtroom’ in the Harrington’s living room and had Hopper act as the judge and made it into a whole big thing. They goofed around and acted silly the whole time until Hopper formally pronounced them siblings. Then they both started crying.

I could seriously go on and on but I’ll stop here - thank you again for the fun ask!!!

[quodekash]

EPISODE 2 BAD BUDDY OS2 LETS GOOOOO im so freaking excited holy hell 

i still cant believe that patpran and earthmix are going to INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER??? AND EXIST IN THE SAME SPACE???? HOLY HELLLLLL 

wait hang on 

will we get longtae?? pls give us longtae i need to see my boy 

WAIT hang on how does this work. how do bad buddy and 1000stars exist in the same space if drake plays korn and also rang. i need to make some kind of murder board of the connections between shows holy hell 

tut tut, phu, you need to take care of yourself for goodness sake 

pran is too autistic for this, he doesnt know how to Social Situation and communicate what he was actually trying to say and now they think he wants to be a teacher 

also im gonna slide past the phutian relationship problems bc i dont want to think about it. my dads are not getting a divorce, and thats final 

hang on. there’s new kids now??? where the hell did they come from? 

tian’s teacher frustration is so real 

autism 

HEY 

LOOK AT THAT 

ACTUAL REPRESENTATION OF SOME KIND 

THATS AWESOME 

I KNEW HE WASNT NEUROTYPICAL 

FJEHSBGKVJREB 

i know ocd is an anxiety disorder but there’s a lot of overlapping symptoms and apparently autistic people are more likely to experience ocd 

and even if its just ocd, im still allowed to hc him as autistic 

but either way HELL YEAH REPRESENTATION AND ITS CANONICAL AND ITS NOT JUST IN HIS HABITS ITS AN ACTUAL CANONICAL DIAGNOSIS GJERBDHBDRT 

MY BOY! 

(definitely didnt completely forget about him) 

his gaydar is going off so much he can smell it (i made the screenshot too big and now phupha in the foreground is making me laugh so hard omg- i swear its the funniest thing ever. im probably tired. its 1:30am) 

THE LOOKS PATPRAN GAVE EACH OTHER WHILE PHUTIAN WERE INTERACTING- THE GAYDARS THE GAYDARS 

(yes, i know they already know about phutian bc of tian’s online diary thingy, but it still counts) 

i wanna read this diary so bad but i cant read thai. and also idk where i would find it. its probably online somewhere. it might be a merch thing. who knows man 

GEHRKDBGV THE FLASHBACKS WHILE HES READING 

IM CRYING 

“why would a good guy come to watch me take a shower?” THE LOOKS PATPRAN JUST GAVE EACH OTHER- OMG I LOVE THIS SO MUCH 

THE LOOKS THROUGHOUT THIS WHOLE EXCHANGE 

ITS SO FUNNY 

I LOVE THIS 

iconic 

i love everything about this so so so much 

the amount of joy that just this one image brings me? help 

ive been wondering why they keep making those movies 

wait hang on 

guys i think we might actually be onto something 

on another but related note: what do you guys spend 25 minutes doing at 2 in the morning when you should be sleeping? cos apparently i make beautiful atrocities like that. 

anyway. 

theyre like little kids, “he liked me first” “NO HE LIKED ME FIRST” 

this is starting to sound very familiar 

pran screaming at the waterfall reminds me of patpran screaming off the top of the hill at the beach 

THEY ARE PLAYING IN THE WATERRRR I LOVE THEMMMMMM 

“i think they kissed” “agreed” “they certainly did” “i agree” okay they didnt but they absolutely should have and we all wanted them to 

they so in loveeee i love themmmmm 

IM SCREAMING AS QUIETLY AS I POSSIBLY CAN, HOLY HELL THE FREAKING PARALLELS 

hah, you bloody americans, they probably had to google what 18ºC is in fahrenheit, but i, a superior australian, know that that is... warmer than it has been recently. its currently 13º. its really weird, im not used to it getting this cold, even in winter, and winter only technically started two days ago. anyway, enough about abnormal australian weather, back to patpran 

i love them so much 

pat, i- 

HELL YES 

OISHIIIII 

FINALLY 

the kid demanding payment through sips of oishi tea? thats my kinda style 

id adopt that kid if i had to. 

i hate kids 

but ice tea? it bonds people. 

lucky kid 

i rly like this karaoke idea, i was wondering how they were gonna incorporate the ost but i guess pat’s gonna sing it 

P’AUUUU 

I THOUGHT I RECOGNISED HIM IN THE BACKGROUND EARLIER AND I WAS RIGHT 

HELLO P’AU HOW ARE YOU 

“actually, my boyfriend and i also fought about who fell for the other first. but in the end, it isnt important. what matters more is that we love each other” AWWWWBHFGHBR 

OH 

ITS THE SONG 

ITS THAT SONG 

GEIURHGUKERJBGHJK 

YAYYYY PHUTIAN ARE SNUGGLINGGGG 

IM SMILING SO HARD ITS DIFFICULT TO SEE 

i love him 

THE SIGNATURE FISTBUMP RJDGBJR 

i love them 

NOOOOO THEY STILL HAVENT MADE UP, GOSH FREAKING DARNNIT 

ooooo phu vs pat drinking challenge, this’ll be fun 

i really like how the young ones are giving advice to the older ones for a change, its very nice. and also just goes to show how powerful patpran are 

omg this kid is everywhere, i love him 

the pure RELIEF when they both see that they are, in fact, wearing pants. 

BRO THAT WAS STRESSFUL 

PRAN NEARLY DIED 

its so funny to me how intense the music is rn 

OF FREAKING COURSE 

well at least we know that means we’ll get more patpran next week, we dont have to say goodbye to them today 

anyway that was wonderful, its 3am and i feel fine currently, cant wait to feel like a dead banana peel tomorrow, goodnight folks, see you next time! 

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

Looks like Eddie Murphy has some muscle when it comes to these sorts of things, because DreamWorks is apparently at work on a DONKEY movie, set for release sometime after SHREK 5 comes out.

Murphy did say in a recent interview that he "thinks" SHREK 5 is going to be out next year, but with DreamWorks having three films slotted for 2025 - DOG MAN, BAD GUYS 2, and GABBY'S DOLLHOUSE... I don't think so.

2026 seems right still, plus the first movie turns 25 that year. But Murphy has recorded some lines for it for a few months, so it's closer than not.

Given how well both PUSS IN BOOTS movies did (I get the sense that the first one is kinda-sorta forgotten? It actually did very well way back in 2011), and the sequel was a leggy phenomenon, so I'm not surprised that there'd be some traction on a Donkey movie. The SHREK franchise is as alive as ever some two decades after SHREK came out, and some three decades after the original book by William Steig was published.

I'm wondering if it's going to be more than just "Donkey yuks it up for 90 minutes", but that would still be fun anyhow. After THE LAST WISH, I think it'd be cool to see a Donkey movie be told through his perspective in a way animation can really pull off. And not in the more expected way CG movies, including the SHREKs, often do. THE LAST WISH goes hard on a storybook/fairy tale look and tone, and retains the very Three Musketeers/Spaghetti Western-informed vibe of the first PUSS IN BOOTS. When action happens, there are those little flourishes and such that - to me - make you experience the story the way the character is feeling it. Very much like classic Disney animated films, ironically. Maybe a Donkey movie could do the same, but in a way that really puts you in the head of this wisecracking ass.

Also, is it theatrical? Or something that'll be sent to a streamer? (Either ORION AND THE DARK-style where it's a full-on DWA picture that for whatever reason didn't go to theaters, or MEGAMIND TV Pilot-style where it's made somewhere else w/ a wholly different team and was never meant for the big screen or potential awards.)

If it's a theatrical movie, that would make it, I think, one of the first big-time Western animated movie to spawn theatrical spin-offs based on two separate characters. Theatrical, that is. If any Disney animated feature got a spin-off, it was largely through direct-to-video stuff and that's a whole other clustercuss of its own. ICE AGE recently had that Disney+ Buck Wild thing made at some other studio, as well.

But no, I'm referring to theatrical... Especially if made by the same studio.

I think THE LEGO MOVIE got there first. As pretty much everyone knows, Batman was a character in that movie... And he got his own theatrical movie in 2017 featuring tons of other DC and WB-owned characters, it's the second-ever release in the LEGO MOVIE series. An unusual move in retrospective, LEGO MOVIE 2 probably should've been next, *then* LEGO BATMAN. Warner Bros. made an equally unusual decision to follow that up with THE LEGO NINJAGO MOVIE towards the end of 2017, which featured *no one* from the previous two movies. It was all characters from the Ninjago line and assorted new faces. It lost money on its release, too... I think doing two spin-off movies about two separate sets of characters before a proper LEGO MOVIE sequel helped hurt that film when it finally came out in 2019... Five years after the first movie. It didn't enjoy any of the success of the original, and Warner Bros. offloaded the franchise - probably sans Batman and such - to Universal... Who, as I understand, are still deep at work on a LEGO MOVIE 3 of sorts.

Worth noting that Warner also had other LEGO MOVIE spin-offs in development before LEGO MOVIE 2: THE SECOND PART released. A Jorge R. Gutierrez-directed pic called THE BILLION BRICK RACE was one of them. Warners really though they had a whole expanded LEGO MOVIE-verse going on there, and perhaps got lost in that before building a solid base with Emmet Brickowski and friends.

DreamWorks, of course, is making a DOG MAN movie. The DOG MAN books are a spin-off of Dav Pilkey's CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS, which DreamWorks adapted into a movie in 2017. DOG MAN may or may not feature the Captain himself.

Illumination's DESPICABLE ME has two MINIONS movies, which cover... Well... The Minions, a whole group. A character unit itself, and young Gru appears in both movies, having a much larger role in the second one. Kinda spin-off/prequel-ish movies... But there's no movie that's just about, say, Lucy or younger Vector or anyone like that. So, that's just one for DESPICABLE ME.

Pixar... TOY STORY has one character-centric spin-off movie in LIGHTYEAR, though that was a wholly different take on Buzz. CARS has one in two PLANES movies about a character who doesn't appear in any of the CARS movies. The PLANES movies were made at Disneytoon Studios by crews who mostly weren't on the CARS movies. John Lasseter is exec producer of them, and wrote the story for the first one. They're by all means direct-to-video type movies made elsewhere, much like the Disney ones of the '90s and '00s, but they got theatrical releases. We almost got a third one that was all about spacecraft, and a fourth one about city transit. We almost had a whole CARS cinematic universe there, with 3/4 of it not being made by Pixar.

So yeah... DreamWorks finally having two separate characters headlining their own movies apart from the larger franchise they come from... Interesting development. Luckily for them, they were four movies into SHREK when PUSS IN BOOTS came out, and they'll be five movies in if DONKEY happens.

[wellntruly]

M*A*S*H - Viewguide, S8

Are you interested in the long-running anti-war situation tragicomedy M*A*S*H (1972-1983), but there are simply so many asterisks and so many episodes?

Well I can’t help you with the asterisks, but nor can I help myself: I started watching all 11 seasons of M*A*S*H, and bringing back for you my viewing selections, chosen for The Qualities.

— — —

Season 8: Klinger stops wearing dresses and it immediately sets this whole edifice on the fucking wobble.

Maybe this season more than any set I’ve put together yet I’m aware could give an entirely different impression if I’d picked even just a couple different episodes than I did. As is, I made my selections by asking the following questions: Is it good? Is it interesting? And, Does it make me want to slap it up on the x-ray illuminator, point at it, and yell, “What!!?” If you (an episode) reach two of these criteria, you’re in!

Enjoy this more petite but dare I say piquant collection:

M*A*S*H - Season 8 Recommended sequence

8x04-05 ‘Goodbye To Radar, Parts 1 & 2’ - Although they, curiously, did not, we gotta start here. M*A*S*H has finally figured out how to do a farewell episode for a departing cast member, and it’s for my ridiculous sincere little buddy Radar. 💔 Ohh man, if you wanna talk end of an era!! Gary Burghoff as Corporal O’Reilly has been with this show from when it was a Robert Altman movie, almost just fucking molecularly, he IS M*A*S*H, and it’s only through a neat bit of acting Gary pulls that I was able to find a little bit of peace with it: here at long last, Radar O’Reilly finally feels like he’s grown up. It’s time for him to leave home. But I’m gonna miss him!!

8x06 ‘Period of Adjustment’ - Incredibly, we had this chat, and then the very next episode I watch is this one. LOL. This episode looked me straight in the eye and said “‘I could fix him’ well I could make him worse <3,” and then left my ass in pieces. Just, come here, be here with me. Pull up a patch of floor. We’ve got this one on the light box. 

8x09 ‘Mr. and Mrs. Who’ - And now for something completely different: something so familiar. Remember years ago when like half of M*A*S*H episodes were about goofy half-forgotten drunken escapades on R&R interwoven with a sticky little medical problem the doctors are trying to solve under adverse conditions? For one night only, we’re bringing that back! Get your tix.

8x11 ‘Life Time’ - Honk honk! EXPERIMENTATION STATION. Alan Alda co-writes a 25 minute real-time surgical episode with their medical consultant, actual doctor Walter Dishell, M.D. When that little ticking clock face chyron got tossed up in the corner, oh girlie, absolutely. Also notable for BJ fully transporting back to his first season thoughtful sad sweetie register (??) (!), and, since it’s not otherwise a cold episode, Alda coming up with a localized reason for at least him personally to still get to pretend to be cold.

8x15 ‘Yessir, That’s Our Baby’ - A baby is left at the MASH, and every man in camp is immediately like, (tenderly) I AM MOM. Unmissable. Unbelievable. I am torn between laughing, cooing, and the I GUESS!!! guy.

8x23 ‘War Co-Respondent’ - After his very rewarding directorial debut last season, Mike Farrell returns to the chair with a script of his own this time, and it’s a jewel! Witty and referential, from Cole Porter lyrics to how in Charles’s first season his and BJ’s great war was Massachusetts vs. California. And that’s not all Farrell hearkens to in M*A*S*H past: Hawkeye as an incorrigible yet endearing flirt (it’s the shamelessness), and how whenever BJ has struck a Romantic figure, capital R, it’s always been so rooted in his quietness. Mike...!

8x22 ‘Dreams’ - Everyone’s SO COLD and been working for two sleepless days straight, and as it finally eases just enough for them to start covering for each other’s naps, said naps are all strange nightmares about war surgery. That’s right, it’s Alda again (could you tell by the overcoats? and TRAUMA?) and god, he really effectively renders the way dreams can seem kind of banal and then just bend at the wrong angles. Of course my favorite of the season, and your unusual, haunting finale.

Season 1 • Season 2 • Season 3 • Season 4 • Season 5 • Season 6 • Season 7 • Season 8 • To be continued

#M*A*S*H hours

[the-vagabond-angel]

Certified Vagabond Angel book headcanons and these are mostly just Armand hcs cause I miss my reach

Armand would be one of those guys who scream random stuff out in the middle of class, you know who I’m talking about

If Claudia was able to live until modern times, I feel like she’d be really into platforms, she likes the extra height

Louis would be the type to wear those turtleneck-cardigan-long skirt combos

Marius would own the ugliest pair of Birkenstocks EVER

I feel like when Armand and Lestat forget they hate each other, they have a really fun time together like I’m talking they go out shopping, have lunch you know, listen to music while dancing then they remember they hate each other and they start fighting about something

Claudia’s first coffin had little doodles all over it trust, it absolutely did

Armand’s current coffin also has little doodles over it lol and stickers, there’s stickers everywhere on it

Lestat would be the type to have a “just girly things” blog in like 2013 or one of those blogs dedicated to emo guys cause let’s be fr

Armand would spend $100 that he got that day in 30 minutes in a visual novel game

When I was 13-14, I started my own cult that was dedicated to that guy who ran CNN 10, I called myself “The High Priest” and everybody had to call me that (I had this black like long cardigan with hella long sleeves that I wore). I had an assistant who was called the Communicator or something weird like that, we had rules and a whole symbol and had about 25 or so people in it, like I would go up to people like “hey, wanna join my cult, it’s really fun” anyways my point is Armand would do that cause he literally did that

Armand probably holds everyone hostage to drink his horrible little smoothies (same boo boo bear holding my whole family hostage to eat my devil’s food cake that I made in my easy bake oven but it’s the old one that used a light bulb)

Armand sleeps with a little night light cuz I get the feeling he wouldn’t like to sleep in the dark (alternatively, he does what I did as a kid and sleeps with a bright ass lamp that lights up his entire room)

Lestat and Armand probably paint their nails together (sometimes they paint Louis’ nails too)

They all watched Twilight together like a big weird family, Armand is team Jacob until breaking dawn then he’s team Bella should’ve dated Alice, Lestat wants to sparkle too now, Marius probably hated it cause he’s an old loser, Louis read the books beforehand and did not in any way understand the movies better, and Daniel probably fell asleep.

Lestat and Armand will describe the blood they drink like it’s wine (“mmhmm yes a vintage 1967 with a very oaky and smokey taste to it” meanwhile they just ate 2 guys who were camping in the woods)

I’m from the era of the internet of like Slenderman’s mansion so I imagine all the vampires who matter live in one huge ass mansion in the woods together

Lestat can’t swim I don’t care if it’s canon that he can, no he can’t, he just looks like someone who can’t swim

Lestat watches beauty guru videos to sleep

After Armand’s basically dadification, he spoils Benji and Sybelle like this man physically cannot say no to these kids, he tried to but it just ended with him convulsing on the floor.

Armand are those pictures on the internet of that lady laying in her room and her walls are entirely covered with crosses and then the other one of that nun just sitting between those 2 women

I’ll add more if I feel like it lol

[bioshoook]

Bamboo mahonia jasmine aloe vera papyrus :)

(thank you for the questions!! i'm just gonna add the ones that you sent in a second time ;3)

Bamboo: Do you change into a different outfit when you get home? Oh absolutely. As soon as I get home the work clothes come off and usually look tank top and gym short/pajama shorts come on.

Abelia: Do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with? I have a necklace that I wear everyday I leave my house that has some little charms on it from different things in my life. Like I have a ring from my mom and a Hobbit acorn pendant on there and I could never part with that necklace. It's always gotta be on me if I'm leaving the house longer than 30 minutes.

Mahonia: What place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does? I find inspiration in all kinds of things especially in like nature, but I would say it would have to be an activity that I find the most inspiring and it's usually video games or listening to music. If those two things can inspire me in the slightest I'll probably make a video edit for them or end up writing something in the universe of the game or music if it fits.

Camellia: What were you like when you were younger? Do you think you’ve changed a lot? I've definitely changed a lot from when I was younger. When I was younger I was a lot more carefree and hyper back then, like I still had my anxiety but we didn't know that's what it was yet. I would also be more focused on what people thought about me and being by myself at lunch time where as now that I'm older I could give less of a shit what they think of me and I actually prefer to eat lunch by myself now haha. I do wish I still had my energy from back then though. Wish I had taken more naps.

Jasmine: Do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again? Bookwise I don't think there's anything I wouldn't be unwilling to reread again and I think the one movie I probably couldn't rewatch even though I really loved it and it was an excellent work on cinema would have to be Come and See. That movie is just a lot emotionally and I don't think I'd be willing to watch it again.

Chamomile: What kind of things do you like receiving as gifts? I honestly like receiving anything that has some thought put into it and I usually lean towards things that can be useful and not just be set on a shelf to gather dust (minus books ofc). Like if you've obviously put effort and time into getting me something then I'm gonna love it and if you can't do that then make sure it's something I can use.

Aloe Vera: What’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life? Retirement jk jk but really I would just love to have a job at a library or a bookstore. Just a job focusing on books in some way. I've tried 2 times to get a library position and both times I've struck out so I'll just keep trying for that type of job till I can't no more.

Papyrus: If you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with? So I don't really have an 'on repeat' playlist but I do have a 'Top 25' on my ipod and the first song that came up on shuffle was Montero by Lil Nas X. With that song I just love the beat and rhythm it has to it and also the whole imagery with the music video is awesome, just a spit in the face of what's usually deemed "socially acceptable" and I'm so here for it.

[queermediastudies]

Behind the Umbrellas: Marginality as Joyful Resistance

Final Queer Video

When we first talked about the video project, I thought of Parasol Patrol, a non-profit founded by Eli Bazan and Pasha Ripley in 2019. I wanted to show how Parasol Patrol creates a queer space in the midst of a visual culture filled with hate and violence aimed at LGBTQ children. The Barker and Scheele (2016) graphic novel informed my goals.

1. I wanted to show one type of queer activism (p. 51). As queer people of color, Eli and Pasha are uniquely able to address the threats facing queer children, including queer children of color.

2. Barker and Scheele describe “how queer theory has engaged with popular culture…” (p. 6) and given the increasingly violent actions directed at trans people and at drag events, I wanted to show how a local organization could resist the hate targeting LGBTQ folx.

3. Barker and Scheele say, “Queer activism is a form of sexuality/gender activism that opposes assimilationist agendas of trying to show how ‘normal’ LG(BT) people are. Instead it celebrates difference and diversity…” (p. 15). Pasha often says, “We’re here because of the hate groups. We’re not here for them.” Parasol Patrol carves out a space in the midst of violent hate that doesn’t try to change LGBTQIA children—it celebrates them. I wanted to show this joy.

4. Most importantly, I wanted to make queer media about queer people. So I focused on how Parasol Patrol creates space for youth to grow into powerful adults. Parasol is really about queer elders modeling community care for queer youth. This is our genealogy and I want to document it.

5. As a secondary goal, I wanted to create something Parasol Patrol can potentially use in its marketing because yay capitalism and the Nonprofit Industrial Complex.

I had good access to Eli, Pasha, and the rest of the Parasol Patrol regulars. I’ve been a Patroller since their 3rd month, so I knew getting footage and photos wouldn’t be a problem. I also felt pretty sure I could show the change in atmosphere when participants move from the hate group side of the venue to the protected queer-friendly side behind the umbrellas. I questioned how much of the hate I should show, and I’m still not sure I balanced that right.

I had some other problems. I’ve never made a movie, so in terms of technology, I started at zero. Mia provided some helpful guidance, and the links on the module helped with editing. I also tend to be pretty wordy (ha!) so my first proposal was enormous. I needed to cut the scope down.

I had some tech issues, all user error, but I finally got a first rough draft posted. Moss watched it before I submitted it to Canvas. Their feedback basically boiled down to “what does Parasol Patrol even do?” but said in a very nice way. I reworked the intro, but after submitting the 2nd version, I still needed to clarify some things, rethink some quotes, and work on my ever-lagging tech skills (note to self: film in landscape next time). This is when I added voice over, bullying my husband into being the narrator. He agreed because he’s scared of me I think.

Unique helped me figure out how to script something that made sense without having to redo the whole video. She answered tech questions. She also gave me snacks and tea, both of which gave me enough energy to work on the video when the cold hit.

I sent the 3rd draft to Mia, she gave more feedback, and I changed roughly 1/3 of the video. I also added some different images about recent events.

While the assignment was for a 5 minute video, mine goes over that. The credits begin at 5 minutes 25 seconds, so that’s where the for-a-grade project ends. But. Because I wanted Parasol to be able to use the video, and because I adore the owner of Second Star to the Right Bookstore (she always gives us food when we patrol there), I added a Marvel-Studios style post credit clip. Honestly, in my eyes, Eli and Pasha and the rest of the patrollers are superheroes, and Dea has been a long-time knowledge-keeper and child-protector, so it seems very apropos.

Bryn

[sylvarantii]

Hoo boy, this one was a bit of a slog.

I'll be honest, I kinda had a feeling Detective Conan Movie 11: Jolly Roger in the Deep Azure was going to be one of those movies I wasn't going to be all that into. I tend to look at the movie poster and the synopsis to get an idea of what I'm going into beforehand and it felt like it was going to be a pretty heavy Detective Boys movie.

It actually didn't end up that way, but man that didn't make this movie any better.

It only really got good around the last half hour or so (like most of these movies) but the difference is that at least a good amount of the Conan movies have a fair good pace going through it. This one was a crawl and after about only 25 minutes in, I was thinking, "Is this going to get any more interesting?"

I think it does have some nice character design though. I liked the look of plenty of the side characters in this movie. And, uh, I'll have to do some more research on Anne Bonney and Mary Read, but there feels like there's some heavy implications of lesbianism there. Maybe it's because I got a good fansubber, but I didn't even get the usual shit of "they seemed like good friends!" line in the movie.

I think Ran x Sonoko shippers will like this movie at the very least. So good for them, to be honest.

The movie on a whole is okay I guess though. Like any of the others, it has its moments, but it's really sad this is the first one I think (aside from maybe Wizard of the Last Century maybe) where I was zoning out some.

I'm kinda wondering if you can see where I'm going with the rating on this one.

1.) The Fourteenth Target (2nd Movie)

2.) The Time Bombed Skyscraper (1st Movie)

3.) Magician of the Silver Sky (8th Movie)

4.) Captured in Her Eyes (4th Movie)

5.) Crossroad in the Ancient Capital (7th Movie)

6.) The Phantom of Baker Street (6th Movie)

7.) Countdown to Heaven (5th Movie)

8.) Strategy Above the Depths (9th Movie)

9.) The Private Eyes' Requiem (10th Movie)

10.) The Wizard of the Last Century (3rd Movie)

11.) Jolly Roger in the Deep Azure (11th Movie)

Am I happy that Wizard of the Last Century is finally not at the very end of the list? Yes, absolutely. I don't think it's really that horrible after all. Everything else was just better somehow.

That said, I'm not happy to come across something worse. But I did keep saying I was hoping to rank Wizard higher and this is what I get.

That said, I still am curious as to if there will be something worse because really, I have yet to watch any of these movies that was so terrible, it had no positives to it. I can honestly say everything so far has had some scene or part that I liked and viewed the movie well in some way.

I don't really WANT to see that because it thrills me to be going through these movies and having fun with it. I mean, after all, why do this in the first place if it's not enjoyable in some way?