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brabblesblog · 1 year ago

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Ch 3: … that we may seek him with thee.

Astarion has ascended, and she has stayed with him. Life in the Crimson Palace isn’t as idyllic as it seems. Is there a chance for their relationship to go back to how it was? Or is it too late for the Ascendant and his consort?

This series is about Ban, my Tav, and the Vampire Ascendant. Will be angst and smut, with sprinkles of fluff.

This fic is a softer take on Ascendant!Astarion and of the changes he undergoes after the rite. Can Ban handle the change, and if a chance came, would she choose to run? And can the Ascendant win her back in time? Inspired by the concept of vampire wives and that IGN interview with Larian that discussed the ascension.

Professionally edited by @editing-by-night

Withers’ party is in full swing. Ban finally learns the truth about her nature, and finds a chance at freedom.

Read on AO3.

Masterlist.

Ban was all dressed up, her doublet a match to Astarion’s. He’d insisted on it.

“I had it especially tailored for you, pet,” he had said, helping her button it up, “so they could see who you’re paired with. Who you belong to.”

She hadn’t fought it. In fact, she hadn’t fought him on much since that night she’d seen into his mind. It had given her a new fear to contend with: since he could show her his thoughts, push them into her brain, then was he able to do the reverse? Were her thoughts being read? She’d always feared being compelled, but the idea of him reading her mind at will was somehow more invasive. As frightened as she was, however, she believed it to be unlikely. When their minds had touched, the feel of his presence had been alien, most certainly not something that would go unnoticed. It had felt rather like the tadpole - a weight in her brain.

So she’d tested it; she’d waited for an opportune moment, finding it in a meeting over the planning for the expansion to the gardens Astarion planned to build. While he’d been deep in conversation about the intended theme of the garden, Ban had stared at her clasped hands and imagined something that if seen, would make him react strongly but not enrage him. She’d shut her eyes, bringing to mind a vivid image of him on his knees, naked and bruised, begging for her touch. She’d focused on Astarion’s voice and posture, ready to pick up any change in his tone or demeanor.

“I’m not sure I’m going for gothic,” Astarion had drawled. “I would highly prefer a more romantic... ambience to it.”

“But, my lord, the rest of the house-“

“I don’t care if it matches!” he’d hissed, making the others flinch.

Nothing. He hadn’t missed a beat, hadn’t seemed to notice anything at all. Ban had exhaled and let the image go, relief flooding her. Her mind was still her sanctuary.

Her plan may yet work.

Seeing everyone together again was wonderful; Ban stared at each and every person, drinking everything in. It had been months since she’d left the confines of the Crimson Palace, and this was a much needed change of scenery.

Behind her, the Ascendant fell back, a goblet of wine in his hand. He’d told her to mingle while he satisfied himself sampling the wines Withers had on tonight’s selection.

She scoffed. He was as likely to be preening as sampling the wines - possibly both at the same time. Either way, he was distracted.

Ban spotted Gale and made a beeline for him, tapping Karlach on the shoulder and beckoning her to join them on the way. They exchanged pleasantries and loudly regaled each other with shallow stories, while slowly moving out of the Ascendant’s earshot.

Eventually, the three of them huddled in a distant corner, hidden behind a boulder.

“What did you find out?” Ban asked Gale, all pretense discarded.

Gale clasped Ban’s hands. “Ban. You have an option to leave. I implore you. Take it.”

He squeezed, bracing himself. “You said he has never compelled you to do anything. Even if you argue. Does that remain true?” As she nodded, he couldn't help the smile that broke across his face.

“Then I must be correct.” He leaned in. “You’re not a spawn, Ban. It’s not that he won’t compel you. He can’t.”

“Oh, goody!” Karlach clapped her hands. “This is perfect!”

Ban stared at them both in silence. He had turned her, had he not? She felt a massive pull towards him and his will, so much so that even as she planned to leave, part of her assumed she’d return to the palace tonight. She opened her mouth to say this, but Gale interrupted before she could.

“He will still hold sway over you. He is still your creator, your... lover," he hesitated. "But that influence is not magical at all. You’re a bride, Ban. If everything you’ve told me is correct - he made you his bride.”

Ban took a moment. A vampire bride… or a spawn he hadn’t compelled yet? She realized, belatedly, that Gale’s theory was likely true. Astarion had fed her his own blood when he’d turned her, encouraged her to drink from him when making love. He had considerable influence over her, but it was never hard to refuse, never hard to be spiteful to him, even in the heights of his rage.

She had never even considered the possibility. She’d always assumed that she’d either escape and have to try to fight his compulsion while hiding from him - Cazador had been able to compel his spawn from a distance; presumably the Ascendant could as well - or that she’d have to let the chance at freedom go by.

But a chance at a future without him, free of the fear of compulsion, that also had some prospect of happiness? It was more than she’d ever expected.

Oh, he’d hunt her down, but if she couldn’t be compelled… there was a chance. He'd definitely retract his extension of Mephistopheles' gifts from her, making her sensitive to sunlight and significantly weaker, but what of it? Better that than to always be living in fear of hearing his voice in her head, of an immutable command to come back to him. To be little more than a slave, forevermore.

Ban braced herself. “Let me try to talk to him one more time.”

“Ban!” Karlach squeezed Ban’s shoulders, as if desperately wanting to shake her. “You have been trying. For months! What makes you think-”

Gale raised a hand to hush the tiefling; he understood. “One more chance, Ban. And then we will have to intervene if you can’t do what must be done.”

Ban nodded, and steeled herself. One last chance, then. For her, for the man he'd been. For their love.

She headed off, marching towards the Ascendant. Astarion’s ears pricked up, his head tilting towards her in his usual, elegant manner as he heard her familiar footsteps.

“And? How have our good friends been without us to guide and protect them?”

He seems to be in a good mood, probably a little buzzed, Ban thought.

“They’re great - everyone seems so happy,” she said, trying to go for the simplest response possible. She shifted uncomfortably, preparing to delve into what she really wished to talk to him about.

Her words seemed to surprise him. He looked away for a moment, considering this information. “Really? Are you sure? I was certain they’d be half dead and begging us to take them back.” He let out a small scoff.

"Well. Miracles never cease." He leaned back, shifting his weight.

“Still, it is good to see them. And good for them to see us, side by side, flourishing.”

She almost choked out a laugh at that. Seriously? He considered what they’d become flourishing?

She tried to stop herself, tried to keep her composure, but utterly failed at the sight of his smug, inebriated smirk.

“Is that what we’re doing? 'Flourishing'?” I want to leave you, you fucking prick, she thought.

He laughed, a false trill of mirth that belied the threat underneath.

“Of course, my darling. Look at us! We share a palace, share power, live lives eternal in each other’s arms. What more could anyone want?” The smile was now more a sneer, daring her to disagree.

She almost yielded out of habit, almost agreed with him as she’d usually done of late. But she remembered Gale’s words and what she’d promised. One last time, and if Astarion refused to listen, he’d have decided for them both.

“Freedom?” she ventured.

That word that he loathed so much now; it was all he’d wanted before. Freedom had led him to become this, a shell of his former self. Ban despised it for what it had driven him to be, but she needed it for herself, too.

“Gods, not this again. I give you wealth, power, pleasure - every decadence that can be afforded to a person? But you’d rather - what - sleep in the dirt again?”

His voice dropped almost to a growl; they were both acutely aware that wasn’t the point. But he’d never, ever, acknowledge exactly what it was she wanted, or why he was so adamantly against giving it.

Give her any scrap of freedom and she would be gone. She would leave him, he’d be alone again, because he could no longer make her happy. And gods, he was trying. Was it really his fault the one thing she wished for was the one thing he could not provide?

He dropped the pretense of civility, the venom creeping into his voice with each word.

“You are my consort, and I will see you living the very best life. Even if you don’t appreciate it.”

He chuckled sardonically. “Why don’t you go and mingle? Have fun with your so-called friends. I’ll be here when you’re done.”

He may not be completely sober but the fury simmering behind those crimson eyes was not dulled by the drink.

Ban sighed, watching him with a soft, melancholic expression. This was it, then. He had sealed their fates. She nodded. “Of course. I’ll be back later.”

She turned away, heading back to Gale and the others, trying not to let tears stream down her face. She could feel Astarion’s eyes boring into her back.

They formulated a plan, involving the rest of the companions in attendance. One by one, they each found a chance to wander over to where the Ascendant lounged lazily, offered him a drink, engaged him in light conversation. None of them had talked to him much after he’d ascended, but they all made sure to ask him about his ambitions, or how he liked Wither’s wine, or how life with Ban had been. Each of them offered a toast to his newfound life, to his power and prestige, and each toast was pompously accepted.

Astarion drank and drank, making the most of his ability to enjoy alcohol. Withers’ wine is sanguine, he noted to himself. He imbibed until he slurred and swayed, leaning on a rock to keep himself up. He was basking in his former companions’ hollow words of praise - of course, he knew they were lies, but what of it? He could still enjoy the pretty falsehoods for what they were: attempts at currying favor with the most powerful vampire to ever walk the land.

I should take a tour. Just to see what the rest are up to. He looked over at his former companions with a haughty, self-satisfied grin. With a thought, he shifted into his bat form, flying low over the other guests, trying to overhear snippets of conversation.

From afar, Ban saw him flying and immediately changed the course of her conversation with Wyll and Halsin, switching to talking about Ulder and steering away from talk of the Ascendant’s parties and which patriars had been invited. The two men noticed Ban’s change in topic and followed her lead.

Astarion flew by, the bat’s wingbeats erratic and his path not very straight.

He flitted around a little more, then landed by his goblet. Hooking his wings around the rim, he drank with little licks. He was too drunk to transform back, so he satisfied himself with more wine; he’d definitely need to ask Withers where this particular vintage came from.

Not too long after that, the goblet fell over and Astarion’s furred body went along with it. He’d toppled over, cuddling the cup, his fur stained with wine, as the drink finally took him. He was out cold.

Gale noticed. So did Ban. Silently, everyone moved.

Astarion slept through it all.

Astarion woke up in a haze of morning light, blinking away the sleep. His vision was blurry, quite unlike the instant focus he usually had. He attempted to sit up, failed, and realized he was looking at wings and claws, not hands. It took another moment to fully grasp he'd passed out as a bat.

He changed back, stretching to his full height as he did. The world snapped into focus; the bright rays of the sun bathed everything in warm light. He saw the camp, heard the sound of birdsong and the rustling of leaves in the breeze. The first word out of his mouth was her name.

“Ban? Ban!” He called out, taking another scan of his surroundings, looking for her. Nothing. Odd. She ought to have picked him up and held him whilst he slept; he was a little miffed to have found himself on the table with the remnants of last night’s drink instead.

He opened his mouth to voice his dissatisfaction when he noticed the utter lack of noise other than the ambient sounds of nature. There was no rustling of shoes on the ground, no voices, not even Ban’s slow breathing, a sound he could pick out anywhere, as familiar to him as his own heartbeat.

In fact, no one was here at all, the camp as empty as when they’d left it during their travels. It slowly dawned on him that she’d left, and that the others had probably given her aid. They’d likely slipped away in the night as he slept, left him in the dirt, exposed and vulnerable. Alone.

He gaped dumbly at the empty clearing, his mind simply refusing to wrap itself around this development. The first feeling that bled through the shock was disbelief. Did she not love him, not need him? Was what he provided not enough? Was he not enough? He’d given her every possible luxury - clothes, jewelry, coin, blood, all of it was hers. He’d allowed her free rein of the palace; she’d been free to decorate and remake it as she saw fit. He’d given her the keys to his kingdom, allowed her to run it and rule it in all but name. Most importantly he’d given her himself - he’d satisfied her every night, hadn’t he? He knew of that absence in her, of course, but weren’t his efforts enough?

That incredulity slowly gave way to anger and he screamed in frustration. How dare she leave, after everything he’d done for her! Everything had been for her, had been done with her benefit in mind, her happiness the goal by which he oriented the compass of his life.

After all, hadn’t eternity together been their goal? They’d discussed forever, back in their days in the wild. Admittedly never seriously and largely in jest, but still. Days, nights, every moment in between spent in her arms, finally loved and chosen. Finally accepted for who he was, loved for himself and not what he could provide. He’d finally been seen. He had thought that would be it, an infinite span of years in which to love her and be loved by her.

The pain surged again, but he quickly fought it back with a deep, seething rage. How dare she defy her creator, defy the man who had given her eternity and snatched her away from the jaws of death?

A small voice in the back of his head, painfully smug and tinged with pride in Ban, reminded him that he had defied his own master for freedom. He refused to acknowledge the voice’s point, shoving it and its pathetic speaker deep deep down once again. It wasn’t the same. He was not Cazador. All he wanted, all he worked for, everything - all of it was for her happiness. She simply couldn’t see past her issues, refused to look at the bigger picture - what did it matter if he couldn’t be what he was, when he could give her everything else? Was that a sacrifice too great for their love to bear?

He took several deep breaths, willing himself not to dwell on that thought. Throughout the barrage of emotions, however, one reigned supreme, try as he might to ignore it. Pain.

Yet again, he’d lost everything that mattered. Ascendant or spawn, happiness had always eluded him. The fear of falling under Cazador’s yoke had disappeared with the rite, but now he felt like he'd lost something far more vital than freedom had ever been.

He found that his new, living heart was beating so fast it felt as though it might burst out of his chest. He placed a hand over the frantic pounding, feeling his breaths becoming quick and shallow. Am I dying? He tried to breathe deeply but the air felt too thin. Even though he knew he didn’t really need it, it felt like he was suffocating.

You were never enough, were you, Astarion? Too much baggage. Too much pride. Too much. Too willful, so master loved hearing your screams best. Too beautiful, and so you were his favorite toy to loan out. Too untrustworthy, so you had to seduce the leader of your group. Too weak, so you had to ascend. Too cold, and so she has abandoned you.

Too much of the bad, too little of the good. No one ever liked you - not your master, not your siblings, not your companions.

She did, that small voice he’d spent months trying to ignore tried to argue, but the other, more cruel voice laughed at him.

She loved you when you were weak, when you hid away the parts of yourself you knew she would not like. How does she like you now, when you no longer hide all your hard edges? Does she gasp your name like she did back then, as if it was a prayer? Does she crave your presence? Do her eyes shine when they watch you? Does her heart still soar when you approach?

She discarded you the moment you displeased her. She never loved you.

You have nothing of worth to offer, other than your body, and even that wasn’t enough. You could’ve offered your heart, but even that is a shriveled, rotten thing, despised by its intended owner, thrown back at your feet.

Nothing, Astarion. You were nothing, are nothing, and will always be nothing.

Left to die buried in the dirt, and now left in it again. Don’t be surprised, Astarion. You’ve never deserved any better.

She was gone. All it had taken was six months and a drunken night of false frivolity, and she'd gone from his life. He screamed again, this time in agony.

A thought crossed his mind. What if he took Mephistopheles’ gifts away from her? She’d come back then, surely? She’d be vulnerable right now, traveling in the daytime - she’d suffer as he does. He began to reach for that power, then stopped. The image of her burning in the sun, of her beauty marred by her skin charring, kept his retribution at bay. He wondered - had he made her his spawn, would he have compelled her back into his arms? The idea appealed to him for a fraction of a heartbeat, feeling the briefest pang of regret for not having done it, before he was swamped with nausea, that reviled voice rising up from the depths with a vehement no! The voice met no resistance for the first time since the ritual; if he couldn’t even bear the idea of her burning in the sun, how could he bear breaking her will, just as his had been?

She could break his heart every day, could keep tormenting him forever, but he couldn’t imagine ever inflicting the pain of the sun on her.

Her smile, her laughter, her adoration…he knew these were things he would never, ever see again. Yet he wouldn’t be able to bear knowing these things no longer existed in the world out there, somewhere. Somewhere, she’d still smile, if not for him, then for something else. She’d laugh, and someday she’d give that blinding, wonderful adoration to someone else - they’d bask in its glow as he once had.

He knew he’d lost her but he still longed for her. He saw and heard her in his mind’s eye as she’d been, happy, beautiful, his - the anguish was deep and torturous and it grew, filling all of him, excruciating vines of misery wrapping around his withered heart, thorns sinking in with stabbing pain, restricting its beating as it fought and failed to keep its rhythm-

With the last of his composure fading, he reached for her mind before the panic could drown him entirely, desperation overruling all sense of pride.

Ban.

He felt it. His consort’s mind opened to him, her guard down.

She snapped awake. That alien presence was there. Within it, she could sense his rage, but she also felt the shortness of breath, the racing heartbeat - that immense, all-encompassing panic. It was almost enough to make her want to tell him she’d come back. But what good would that do?

She waited, eyes closed. If Gale was right, she was truly free; if he was not, then the Ascendant would most likely break her will here and now. Or, barring that, he would at least rescind his gifts. She contemplated what an immortal life in the darkness would be like, wondered how long it would take for her to yearn for its warmth the way she knew he had. Ban realized she’d have to brush up on her combat skills once more - without his gifts she’d be weaker, more susceptible to monster hunters; without the constant supply of blood she’d have to hunt as well. But none of these thoughts were conveyed through the link; to him she sent only her silence.

Astarion squeezed his eyes shut. For a moment, the touch of her mind soothed him. She was still there, and his miserable, pathetic heart calmed itself at the contact. A wave of self-loathing rose on the heels of that calm. He ought to be better. Stronger. But his heart had remained the same, try as he might to deny it, and it ached to be parted from her.

I may have power, but it would be nothing without you. You complete me.

He had said those words to her at some point as they’d made love. He hadn’t really meant them at the time; they’d been platitudes he’d known she wanted to hear. Now he fully appreciated the sickening reality of it: that it was true, that it had always been true. His denial of his own feelings had blinded him to it. In rejecting his former self he had also rejected her love, a love he could no longer pretend he didn’t need. In fact, he needed it more than anything else - no luxury, no amount of strength, no amount of lovers, not even power - nothing came close. It was a realization that came too late.

He felt her eyes open, saw her rise from the unfamiliar bed to hold her hand out to the sunlight streaming through the window. She was testing him, and he was elated to feel the wave of relief that flooded her when she realized he hadn't taken away his gifts. He hoped that even given how much she must loathe him, she knew he wouldn’t inflict that hurt on her. Her eyes then focused on the city sprawled below her window, and he realized where he must go.

Waterdeep.

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projectjasper · 27 days ago

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ME AND THEE: NOVEL VS MOCK TRAILER

[BASIC SUMMARY & CHARACTERS] - [FULL SUMMARY & OTHER SPOILERS]

ARCHER'S NOTE: Overall, it seems like there have already been a lot of changes made to the mock trailer alone, and there are even more usually made to the actual series. In some ways, this immediately makes sense to me. After finishing the 400-something pages novel, I thought that its plot would fit better into a 2-hour movie rather than a full series, so certain things would need to be expanded upon for certain (and, frankly, they need to be expanded upon, as the speed with which some characters are introduced for a few scenes only to be promptly yanked out of the novel forever is slightly jarring). That said, expanding on the existing themes and providing necessary context is not the only thing the writers did for the mock trailer, taking only inspiration from some parts of the novel or even stepping away from it entirely for some of the decisions they have made. This series is indeed a mystery to me, a person who has read the novel, almost as much as it is to someone who has not, or perhaps even more so, since someone who has not read the novel has no expectations for things to go a certain way.

When the writers for the series are announced and if I know them (and there is a good 90% chance I know them very well), I will likely make a separate post, speculating where they might take their ideas based on their previous writing and the mock trailer.

SPOILER WARNING! Although the trailer itself obviously couldn't reveal any major plot points, there are still some spoilers for the novel in my comparisons, so proceed with caution.

THE MAIN GIMMICK IS NOT IN THE NOVEL

Sorry to be the bearer of sad news, but what is possibly the most charming part of the mock trailer - Thee watching soap operas and reciting the dialogue by heart - is simply not a thing in the novel. To be fair! The seeds of it are kind of there.

Thee's mom did indeed raise him on soap operas - in fact, her own soap operas, as she used to be an actress before marrying her husband - and has all the DVDs of her works, which Thee loved watching as a child. Moreover, this all gets revealed at the end of the novel, after Peach spends the entirety of it making an inside joke to himself about how sometimes the way Thee speaks sounds like he came right out of a soap opera. I suppose all these factors came together to give us the far more comedic and dramatic image of Thee actually currently being a huge fan of soap operas in general, which is honestly a hilarious and incredible decision.

ROMANCE OR SEX?

Now, this is a tough one, because what Thee ends up saying in the trailer can be interpreted in many ways.

He does begin by talking about sleeping with Aran.

But the next comment is perhaps a little more dramatically romantic, although - as I said - it can be interpreted in many different ways and perhaps the "burning desire" of which Thee speaks is the desire to nail and bail.

Regardless, in the novel, Thee is strictly interested in having sex with Aran and nothing more - in fact, he has never been in a relationship before and (up until meeting Peach) is only interested in one-night stands. Especially in conjunction with Thee from the mock trailer being fully into soap operas, I feel like he might take a more romance-aligned approach after all, or perhaps they will remain novel-accurate here and he will only be interested in Aran physically. We shall see.

ARSENI? YES AND NO

So, fun fact! Thee is half-Russian in the novel and his father is actually a notorious Russian mafia. (This is also why the author gave Thee "cigarette smoke coloured grey eyes" which I had to read about one too many times - Gods protect us from contact lenses in this series, although I've heard the director X first thought of casting Pond after he saw a photo of him with blue contacts, so I guess they are helpful somewhere). Regardless of my hatred for Pond covering his gorgeous brown eyes, 'Arseni' is not just the name of the company Thee owns, but also his family's surname. Now, you are in luck, as I am Russian and can confirm: Arseni cannot be a surname under any circumstances, although it is a popular first name in the country, so the author's research has either not been extensive enough or has simply been unsuccessful. In any case, both the trailer and recently Phuwin in an Instagram Live confirm that Thee will not be half-Russian in the series.

According to the trailer, Thee's first two names are intact, but his surname has been changed to Lee - if I had to guess based on that alone, he could be of numerous descents, there are multiple countries where that surname is quite common. Another hint, however, might be in Thee's conversation with his father from the trailer, where he speaks English. That could just be because they are being hashtag international in the family or indeed because his father is from an English-speaking country. Honestly, we have no way of knowing right now. The only thing that we do know is that he is definitely not half-Russian anymore.

Oh, and that Thee's company is still called 'Arseni', as the trailer confirms multiple times.

A POND NARAVIT CHARACTER WITH A GOOD FAMILY? NOT IN THIS ECONOMY

In the novel, Thee has a shockingly nice family. He gets along with his younger brother Rome well, his mother is very warm and loving, and his father is incredibly open-minded and supportive. To be fair, there are crumbs of some... peculiar upbringing in Thee's backstory for sure. He is taught to not trust anyone outside the family (which is also why he is not properly socialised) and Mok is specifically raised alongside him to make sure he would be a trustworthy confidant to him. But, considering the "business" the family is in, this isn't totally unreasonable and the family does accept Peach and his sister Phlub into it with open arms right away.

The trailer, however, paints such a drastically different picture that I am confident this is a big change that they've made. A stern father's voice says over the phone "This business is not a place for the weak, not for the people who let their emotions get in the way. You know that, my dear son?" Although we never actually witness a conversation between Thee and his father in the novel as such, this just does not line up with what we know about him. That man adores his wife, first and foremost, and he wishes for his son to find the same kind of love he has and to focus on something other than work - he would simply never disregard all emotions in name of business. Not to mention that this isn't really even a conversation Thee from the novel would have to have with his father. The younger son, Rome, is in charge of the shady parts of the business that require one to be truly ruthless and cunning, while Thee keeps to the clean cover-up businesses, which are his main projects.

AND THIS ACTUALLY LEADS ME INTO TWO OTHER POINTS:

MOK'S ROLE AND ROME'S DISAPPEARANCE

Like I have mentioned, Mok has been raised alongside Thee to be his trusted friend and confidant. While we do not immediately find out about this in the novel, it slowly becomes apparent just how close the two are, and their upbringing is eventually revealed, as a last piece of the friendship puzzle.

What Mok says here is more reminiscent of a bodyguard who is only just trying to get close to his distant boss, which - if true - changes a lot, not just about Mok, but also about Thee's upbringing.

Rome is also not present in the trailer. And while I do acknowledge that this might be due to timing issues, he is a relatively important character and - perhaps more importantly - GMMTV mock trailers rarely pass up on the chance to at least hint at a secondary romance, which (by tried and true GMMTV rules) should be WilliamEst here, as Rome and Mock are in an on-again, off-again relationship in the novel. In conjunction with the changes they made to Thee's father, I fear Rome might not exist in the series at all, making Thee the single heir and placing much more responsibility and shady business on his shoulders.

A MAFIA HAS PROBLEMS TOO

In the novel, Peach is the one who keeps running into issues and Thee is mostly his ever-powerful knight in shining armour, rushing to save him and finally make him feel cared for and protected. Not only is there no trace of this in the mock trailer, the roles are seemingly reversed.

It is true that Thee does not really have friends, aside from his family and Mok (who is basically also family). However, this is an issue that is approached very matter-of-factly in the novel. It is simply how he was raised and how he has been living for the past three decades. It is clearly treated with far more gravity in the trailer.

Similarly, while Thee often feels cold and empty, this is his general state of mind in the novel and it is certainly not accurate to how he feels when he is around Peach. If I had to guess, I would say the trailer is going for Peach slowly melting an iceberg that encapsulates Thee's heart, while in the novel the two have a very natural connection that immediately makes them both feel safe and warm.

If I am right on both counts, the weight of the two characters in the series will shift significantly and - dare I say - the main character, who is undeniably Peach in the novel, even with all the Thee POVs that we get, might actually be Thee in the series.

A BETTER ROMANCE STEREOTYPE

The 'Me and Thee' novel is an interesting little thing, because it is simultaneously chock-full of very classic soap opera esque tropes, but also criticises some other ones very pointedly.

The questions of force and consent in particular are often brought up by Peach. A classic mafia romantic interest in a soap opera would usually not be respectful of boundaries, but Thee is very far from that kind of stereotype himself and is taken farther from it still by Peach's guiding hand. I don't know if the series will bother with threading this particular message throughout the entire plot or if it's just a line thrown into this particular dialogue, but the novel certainly does. Although, even if it will not be emphasised in the series, I am confident there will be no nasty shit happening, judging by the tone of the trailer alone.

TO ARANTAWAN OR NOT TO ARANTAWAN? THAT IS THE QUESTION

So, the 'Me and Thee' novel does not have a secondary couple as such, and if I absolutely had to give that label to someone, it would actually go to MokRome - not AranTawan. Aran and Tawan are mostly used to propel TheePeach's relationship a couple of times and otherwise have a very tumultuous and frankly kind of toxic relationship, we never see any of their sweet moments or anything like that - mostly just Tawan being jealous and taking it out on Peach.

Looking at the mock trailer, that seems to check out. So, sorry PerthSanta cowboys, but I would hold our horses, at least for now.

A DIFFERENT ROLE FOR PHLUB

If i am right in assuming that Bonnie is playing Peach's sister Phlub (which is highly likely), she seems to have a different role in the series and be a slightly different character overall. In the mock trailer, she basically explains who Thee is and warns Peach to be careful - in the novel, she doesn't know anything about Thee's involvement in Peach's life until way wayyyy later. Not to mention that Phlub from the novel would be more likely to mischievously grin and tell her brother to have fun with his new rich friend than warn him away. To be fair, her scene is very short and she could very well be working as a mouthpiece for Thee's introduction that was simply an author's note in the novel, so I can't say for certain if this is a big change yet.

MORE DETAILS

You know how sometimes you read a romance novel or watch a romance movie or what have you and the characters on their own are a tad underdeveloped? Like, sure, they are real, the relationship is beautiful, but we don't know anything about them outside of their workplace and maybe their tragic backstory. Yeah, the 'Me and Thee' novel is kind of like that. The series seems to be rectifying that, however.

Both Thee's interest in arcades (?) and Peach's interest in handpans are not present in the novel.

Although the boys' wiliness to share in each other's interests and likes is very novel-accurate.

#me and thee #me and thee the series #me and thee novel #pond naravit #phuwin tangsakyuen #pondphuwin

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moeitsu · 6 months ago

Text

The Tie Which Linked My Soul To Thee

Ch 17 - To Watch The Dying of the Day

Summary: Say, isn't it strange? I am still me, and you are still you. In this place. Isn't it strange how people can change? From strangers to friends, friends into lovers. To strangers again.

Ao3 Wattpad Masterlist - All Chapters Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

A/N: Oh gosh, it's been so long! A mixture of burnout and chaos will do that to a girl. But it's here, coming in at a strong 7k words. It's on the shorter side, especially since my previous chapters have been anywhere between 10-13k words. But this chapter is transitioning us back into the main story. So do with that information as you will, its going to be a bumpy ride....

TW: None really, just hella angst.

Tag List: @photo1030 @ariacherie @thatweirdcatlady @ultraporcelainpig @marygillisapologist @eternalsams @lunawolfclaw

**please let me know if you would like to be tagged in future chapters!

StoryTags: Widowed, Original Character(s), High-Honor!Arthur Morgan, Arthur Morgan Does Not Have Tuberculosis, Arthur Morgan Deserves Happiness, Chubby!Arthur Morgan, Canon Divergence, Mutual Pining, Slow Build, Eventual Smut, Eventual Sex, Eventual Romance, Emotional Sex, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort,Touch-Starved, Sexual Tension, Friends to Lovers, Child Loss, Infant Death, Trauma, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Torture, Blood and Violence, Survivor Guilt, Aftermath of Torture, Caretaking, Injury Recovery, Period-Typical Racism, Anxiety, Self-Hatred, Night Terrors, Emotional Constipation, Self-Doubt, Men Crying, Bathing/Washing, Sweet/Hot, Romantic Angst, Romantic Fluff

“Are you out of your goddamn mind, John?” Abigail’s voice echoed through the camp as the tent flaps were shoved open harshly by the young man, who only ignored her comment. He was making a beeline for the one person he needed to complete his team—the one person he knew would stand by his side to enact revenge on the men who nearly took his brother's life.

Kate was chopping celery and carrots for an afternoon stew when she heard the heavy footsteps of John approaching. His gaze was determined, each step fueled with a fiery purpose. She glanced up to see Abigail standing not far behind him, arms crossed in frustration, throwing her hands in the air as John continued to ignore her protests. Kate already knew what he was going to ask of her.

John had found Colm O’Driscoll’s hideout, and he was ready to take action.

Kate placed the knife down with a sigh. Since their return from Emerald Ranch, things had been relatively calm. At least as calm as life could get when you were running with a bunch of outlaws, hanging onto the threads of some "plan" by a man she barely trusted. When they arrived back from their trip, Sean and the boys had planned a small party for Arthur—a ‘Celebration of Life,’ the ambitious Irishman had called it. Though it was more likely just another excuse to drink beer, dance, and be rowdy.

They used the get-together as an opportunity to tell the others about their relationship. Kate drank and sang with the girls, talking with them into the late hours of the night about her time with Arthur. Their small circle was filled with ‘aww’s’ and teasing glances. Kate felt a weight lifted off her shoulders after telling them, like somehow their relationship was finally real now that the rest of the gang knew—at least the ones most important to her.

Arthur was gradually reintegrated into jobs and missions, starting with small fishing trips and eventually moving on to more lucrative endeavors like robbing stagecoaches. Kate protested at first, trying to convince him there were safer ways to make money, but she knew she couldn't take the thrill of the heist out of the outlaw so easily. Arthur found work where he could, especially when Dutch wasn’t ordering him around. All of Arthur’s worries about being replaced seemed to dissipate in the days after his return. Dutch, ever the charmer, appeared overjoyed that Arthur was making a steady recovery and happy that his son found some happiness in a woman. He couldn't resist leaving Arthur with a gentle reminder that their priority was, and still is, to make enough money to escape. Arthur assured him with a promise: he would see it done.

This morning, Dutch sent Arthur, Sean, and Micah into Rhodes to meet up with Bill. Sheriff Gray wanted to speak with them about some work, and Arthur felt mighty proud to be involved, given his month-long absence. After breakfast, Kate pulled him aside for a few quick good-luck and be-safe kisses. It had become a new habit of theirs, since alone-time was rarely granted. They always made sure to say goodbye when one was leaving for a job, sealed with a kiss and a hug.

Kate looked up at John from under the brim of her hat, wishing in that moment Arthur was there to set him straight. But she knew nothing was going to change the young outlaw’s mind.

“Kate,” John greeted with a nod, his tone indicating he was ready to say more.

Wiping her hands on her raggedy apron, she leaned against the cutting table. “Fine afternoon, ain’t it, John?” she said with a smile, squinting up at the sun.

John wasted no time. “We’re ridin’ out today, to Hanging Dog Ranch. You coming?”

“Is that so?” She sighed. “What for?” Kate’s voice carried a hint of feigned ignorance. She knew why, but she was still trying to find it in herself to say no.

Since their ride back from Emerald Ranch, Kate had wrestled with Arthur’s words. She knew revenge was foolish, but seeing the way it had changed him cut her so deep she feared she would carry that rage with her for a long time. It was the same rage she felt years ago when she lost everything. Back then, her anger often consumed her, but over time she learned how to control it, to use it to protect herself and others. Right now, she wanted nothing more than to keep her word to Arthur, but also to protect him.

“You know why, Kate,” John’s voice grew stern, pulling her from her thoughts. “Colm’s men are up there. This is our chance.”

Kate’s heart clenched. She wanted to protect Arthur, to ensure that what happened to him never happened to anyone again. But she also knew that succumbing to vengeance could destroy her just as easily as it could destroy their enemies.

“John,” she began, her voice wavering slightly, “I promised Arthur I wouldn’t get swept up in this mess.”

John’s expression softened a moment, but his resolve remained firm. “I get it, Kate. But we need you. If we don’t take this chance, we might not get another.”

Kate huffed and lowered her voice so only he could hear, “Does Dutch know about this? Doesn’t he have a plan to get back at Colm?” She tried to make him see reason in her questions.

John only shook his head. “To hell with his plans. The way I see it, Colm doesn’t see us as a threat anymore. He tried to lay a trap and set the law on us. Well, he fucked around and it's about time he found out.”

Kate rolled her eyes at John’s ambitious statement. “John, no. I can’t go through with this and you shouldn't either.” She planned to leave him with that, pulling the apron over her head and starting to walk away.

John grunted and followed behind her, his frustration growing more evident. “C’mon, Kate, quit pussyfootin’ around. We need you, and we’re losing daylight.”

Kate turned and saw behind him as the others began saddling their horses and loading their weapons. Her eyes widened slightly when she saw Sadie packing her saddlebags, and her heart began to race as Lenny waited proudly on the back of his stallion, ready to take off at a moment's notice. Charles was there too, making his way over to see what the hold-up was. She was surprised to see this was the group that would be leading the charge. But, after all, these were Arthur’s closest and most trusted comrades.

Consequently, they were also the people Kate cared for deeply and saw as her own family. They were all putting themselves in harm's way for the sake of revenge.

“What would Arthur say about this?” Kate said finally.

Charles had finally caught up to them and heard the last bit of the conversation. “Arthur would say revenge is a fool’s game,” he stated.

“Exactly, thank you Char-”

“But those are his words, not mine,” Charles interrupted.

Kate pinched the bridge of her nose as John continued his persuasion. “Arthur’s the goddamn fool. We need to strike back, now. What if they come after us again? What if this time Colm takes one of the girls, or you?”

Kate felt the weight of John’s words settling heavily on her shoulders. The thought of Colm’s men taking her or any of the other women gnawed at her heart. She couldn’t deny the logic in John’s argument, even if it went against Arthur’s wishes.

Looking past the two men, she saw Lenny waving to her as if simply asking, "What are you waiting for?" John must have told them she would be joining, as Sadie looked over in anticipation, already holding Lorena’s reins, ready to leave as soon as Kate gave the word.

“Charles,” she began, her voice deep with conviction, “you’ve got a level head. This is a bad idea. How could you go through with this?”

Her words came out with a bite, unintended, but they stung nonetheless. Charles had always been a beacon of reason, often the one she or Arthur leaned on in times of need.

Charles' response betrayed no hurt, only his own sense of determination. “These bastards deserve it. Arthur suffered enough.”

Kate found herself seething at his words, anger bubbling up like black coffee neglected over a fire for too long. The gang knew Arthur better than she did, Kate understood that much. But nobody had watched him suffer like she had. Night after endless night, holding his broken body and cradling him as she willed with all her strength that the pain and tortuous nightmares would cease. Her thoughts drifted to the night of their shared intimacy, seeing how Colm had broken him in unimaginable ways.

Nobody understood the extent of his suffering, except for Kate.

“Sadie suffered by them too,” Charles added after a moment.

“We’ve all suffered from the O’Driscolls!” John exclaimed with a defeated sigh. “Choose your battles, Kate. But we’re going to send a message to Colm, whether you come or not.”

The two men turned to walk away, their boots kicking up dust as they marched back to their horses, saddled and ready for battle. Moments later, a third pair of footsteps fell in time behind them.

Kate had made her choice.

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

The dry spell had lingered for well over a month, and the oppressive heat of Lemoyne had turned the air into a stifling, dusty haze. The town of Rhodes lay beneath a thick, barren cloud of yellow dust, each gust of wind sending particles stinging into Arthur’s throat and eyes, making them water. The winds whipped past him as he spurred Belle forward, urging her faster and faster. His grip on the reins was white-knuckled, his breath coming in sharp, shallow gasps as he tried to steady his racing heart.

The Sheriff had caught on to their schemes, and set them up in Rhodes. Sean had paid the ultimate price with a bullet between the eyes. The image of Sean’s lifeless body was seared into Arthur’s mind, a haunting image he knew would never leave him. He shook his head, trying to dislodge the relentless memory that played over and over like a broken motion picture. Sean had been on the cusp of becoming a man, his 24th birthday just a few months away. Though Arthur gave him grief since the day he joined their gang, deep inside he saw the ambitious Irishman as his younger brother.

The irony of the situation gnawed at Arthur’s consciousness. Sean had warned them it was a setup. He had sensed something was off from the moment they entered the sleepy town, but both Arthur and Micah had dismissed his concerns as mere paranoia. Now, anger swelled in Arthur's belly, especially toward Micah. As much as he despised the shady outlaw, Arthur couldn’t deny that he wouldn’t have made it out alive without his help. Micah recognized that Arthur’s injuries had hindered his abilities, though his accuracy remained as deadly as ever. Together, they had picked off nearly every lawman and trigger-happy drunk who stood in their way, barely escaping with Bill in tow. Arthur knew his disability had slowed him down, and he blamed himself for Sean’s loss.

The escape was a blur of gunfire and chaos. Arthur's mind raced with the events of the ambush, replaying each moment as a jarring blend of fear and fury. Belle's hooves thundered against the ground, each stride a desperate attempt to outrun the mix of anger, guilt and shame that threatened to overwhelm him. The acrid taste of dust and blood lingered in his mouth, a reminder of the violence they had scarcely escaped.

As they galloped through the barren landscape, Arthur's thoughts turned to Kate. He knew she would be waiting for him back at camp, a small comfort amidst the chaos. But the moment of peace would be short lived, they would have to leave again, and soon. The law would catch up to them in a matter of days.

The thought of facing Dutch made Arthur cringe inwardly. Dutch would undoubtedly demand a report of what happened, and Arthur knew it could go one of two ways: Dutch might dismiss the incident, as he had when Arthur previously warned about their increasing sloppiness and the Pinkertons closing in. Or he might tuck-tail and opt for retreat to a new hideout, favoring the path with the fewest casualties. Either way, Arthur was in for an earful back at camp. He silently hoped that someone would go back for Sean, praying he wouldn't be discarded in a mass grave. Every man deserved a proper burial, but for people like him and his gang, it was a luxury rarely granted.

As Clemens Point came into view, a deep sense of unease settled over Arthur. The camp seemed unusually quiet, devoid of the usual bustle and chatter. An eerie silence had taken its place. He panicked for a moment, what if the law had found them while he was away?

Arthur barely had time to dismount before Abigail came running towards him, tears streaming down her face. Dutch was close behind her, his expression grim. A chill ran down Arthur's spine.

Abigail grabbed Arthur's arm, her voice trembling with panic. “Arthur, they took Jack! Someone took Jack!” she cried, her eyes wild with fear.

Dutch placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, though his eyes were hard with determination. “We’ll get him back, Abigail. I promise you that,” he said firmly.

Arthur opened his mouth to explain what had happened in Rhodes, but the urgency of the situation left no room for words. His mind was whirling with this new information, trying to piece together what happened while he was away. There was a moment of silence, and Arthur’s heart skipped a beat as he realized Kate was also nowhere to be seen.

“Who took him?” Arthur said finally, his voice betrayed no hint of the unease he was feeling.

Hosea stepped forward, his expression was dire. “We believe the Braithwaites have taken Jack. They’ve been gunning for us ever since we crossed them,” he explained.

“Where is my son?” Abigail shouted. “If anything–oh God,” she choked on the words. “Where is my son Dutch!”

“We will find him,” Dutch affirmed, clenching his jaw, eyes blazing with resolve. “We’ll make that Braithwaite bitch pay for this.” He surveyed the three men as Bill and Micah stood awkwardly nearby, unsure what to say. “What the hell happened to you three? Where’s Sean?”

Arthur took in Hosea’s words and then let out a breath as he shook his head. “They set us up, Dutch. Sheriff Gray killed Sean, nearly got Bill too. We shot up half the town trying to escape. If we’re not careful about this, we’ll surely be caught by the law.” They were in deep shit now, both families were gunning for them. They couldn't afford another casualty, let alone young Jack. The situation tore at his heart.

Dutch’s eyes darkened, his mouth set in a tight line. Arthur recognized that look—it was the look of a man out of options. “We’re getting that boy back, Arthur, or so help me God—”

At that moment, the thunderous sound of hooves echoed down the path to their hideout. Arthur's hand hovered over his revolver, his mind still in fight-or-flight mode. As the riders emerged from the trees, he saw John leading the group, with Kate at the rear. A wave of relief washed over him; at least the law hadn't caught up to them yet. But as they drew closer, Arthur noticed Kate's clothing was stained with blood. His relief quickly turned to a mix of worry and dread.

As John dismounted, Abigail flung herself into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably. “They took him, John! They took our boy!” she cried, her voice breaking with desperation. John shot a confused look at Arthur, his own emotions swirling with shock and concern. He held onto Abigail, trying to process the chaos around him.

Dutch's voice cut through the commotion like a knife, demanding answers. “How nice of you to finally show up. Where have you lot been?”

“Taking care of business,” John replied dryly, his grip on Abigail tightening as he tried to make sense of the unfolding crisis. The air was thick with urgency and panic, even the winds seemed to hold their breath, anticipating the next move.

“What business?” Dutch spat, his agitation palpable as he glared at his returning crew members. The tension crackled like electricity in the air, setting everyone on edge.

Arthur's heart pounded in his chest, the rapid beat echoing the chaos of his thoughts. Sean's death, the ambush, Jack's disappearance, and the blood on Kate’s clothes all swirled in his mind. He moved with heavy, purposeful steps toward Kate, his focus narrowing to her alone. He tuned out the escalating argument between Dutch and John, his attention solely on the woman he loved.

“Kate,” he called, his voice rough from the dry air and his mounting anxiety.

She turned at the sound of her name, immediately reading the worry etched into Arthur’s face. Noticing her bloodied clothing, she quickly reassured him, “It’s not my blood.”

Relief flooded Arthur, and he pulled her into a tight hug, inhaling her familiar scent. The rhythm of her heartbeat against his chest provided a momentary solace amidst the turmoil.

“What’s going on?” she whispered, her breath warm against his ear as she pulled away slightly.

“Rhodes was a trap. They set the law on us, Sean’s dead,” Arthur briefly explained, his voice heavy with grief. Kate gasped softly, her eyes widening. “We just got back, and Jack’s missing. Hosea thinks it was the Braithwaites.”

Kate stood speechless, feeling the weight of the world crashing down around her. "Oh, Arthur, we have to—"

Arthur gripped her arms fiercely, his eyes burning with a mix of confusion and betrayal. Desperation etched into every line of his face. “Where were you, Kate?” he demanded, his voice laced with hurt and anger.

He hadn’t meant for the words to come out with such force, but his mind was a whirlwind of doubts and anxiety. Jack could be dead for all he knew. The thought of an innocent child being involved in this nightmare gnawed at his soul. Despite everything, Arthur blamed himself for Jack's disappearance. He cursed himself for not ensuring someone was watching over the boy when he left. Normally, there were plenty of people he and Abigail trusted with Jack, but those people had been gone nearly as long as he had. He desperately needed an explanation for her absence.

Kate pulled away from his grip but held his hands tightly, her gaze filled with guilt. Arthur’s heart began to sink, a cold dread settling in his stomach. “We were up at Hanging Dog Ranch,” she breathed. “Where Colm’s men were hiding.”

Arthur’s gaze hardened, a cold look crossing over his features. “I don’t s’ppose you were there to play hooky?” he spat, sarcasm dripping from his words. He felt the world spinning around him, losing Sean, losing Jack, and now, feeling a profound sense of betrayal from the woman he loved.

Kate shook her head quietly, her cheeks flushing pink with shame. “Arthur, I—”

Arthur’s grip on her hands tightened momentarily before he let go. “You promised me, Kate,” he said, his voice breaking. “You promised you wouldn’t get involved with Colm.”

Kate’s heart shattered at the pain in his eyes. “I know, and I am so sorry. But I thought—”

“You thought what?” Arthur interrupted, his voice rising with a mix of anger and fear. “You thought this would help? That getting yourself killed would make things better?”

Kate’s eyes filled with tears, her voice trembling slightly. “I just wanted to protect you and the others from those terrible people.”

“That is not your job, Kate!” Arthur shouted, and Kate flinched, taking a step back from him.

Arthur let out a breath, shaking his head, the betrayal cutting deep. “You just don’t get it, do you? You don’t understand what it does to me, seeing you put yourself in danger like that.”

“I see you put yourself in danger every day,” she answered meekly, her voice wavering with a mix of fear and frustration.

“Don’t make this about me,” he said sharply. “I trusted you to keep that promise.” The life he lived, the life she had joined, was a dangerous one. And Kate wouldn’t be the first woman he lost to such violence. Born from a promise that he broke, costing the life of his family. If he had lost her and Jack in the same night, he feared what he would unleash upon himself.

“I’m sorry Arthur,” Kate breathed deeply, tears finally spilling over and streaming down her cheeks. There was an old selfish ache deep in her soul, a desperate need to make them suffer for taking someone from her. Her fear of loss drove her every thought, every action, every breath. It had consumed her, nearly losing herself during Arthur’s recovery. Kate had never known anything but grief and loss. Holding on so tightly to her sliver of happiness that she was smothering it. Her selfish need cost her Arthur’s trust.

“Kate,” his voice was softer now, laced with deep sorrow. Arthur shook his head, “I can’t go through this again.” His eyes softened, though the hurt remained.

Kate opened her mouth to respond, but the words wouldn’t come. She felt a dark sense of dread, knowing that despite her intentions she had broken his trust and his heart.

The weight of the moment pressed heavily upon them, a suffocating silence settling in. Arthur’s eyes, filled with a mix of anger and hurt, searched hers. The pain of his words, the pain of her actions, it all mingled together in a storm of emotions that neither of them could escape. A deeper love that remained unspoken.

Before she could find the words to make things right, Dutch’s voice boomed across the camp. “We’re not waiting another damn minute! Mount up, we’re riding out to get Jack back now!”

Arthur turned away, his expression unreadable. “I’m glad that you’re home safe. I wish I could say the same for Jack,” he said, walking over to mount his mare once more. The other boys were saddling up, the tension in the air thick with anticipation.

Kate stood in stunned silence, tears streaming down her face. The fear of losing Arthur, the guilt of breaking her promise, and the terror of what lay ahead gnawed at her. She felt an overwhelming sense of helplessness as she watched Arthur ride off into the night, leaving her standing there with her heart in pieces.

As she watched the men race down the winding path out of Clemens Point, she noticed Abigail's trembling form. Abigail was using her apron to wipe the tears that stained her cheeks. Kate swallowed her sorrow, pushing down her own broken heart. This was about Jack and Abigail.

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

“I bet this has something to do with why you got shot to hell in town.” John’s voice broke Arthur from his clouding thoughts. The trees raced past them in a blur, and Arthur hadn’t even realized his brother was riding right beside him.

Arthur’s mind was a whirlwind of anxiety and turmoil. The events of the day had left him feeling raw and exposed. The setup in Rhodes, Kate’s actions, and now Jack’s abduction—all of it weighed heavily on him. The feeling gnawing at his insides.

“I don’t want to think about that right now, John,” he answered, trying to push the memory of Sean's lifeless body out of his mind. “We have to focus on Jack.”

John’s voice rose with anger, a mirror of Arthur's own inner turmoil. “I swear, I’ll kill every single one of them.” The desperation in his voice was palpable, and Arthur could sense the fear behind his brother's bravado.

Dutch’s voice called from the front of the line, a forced calmness trying to steady the group. “Easy, John. Try to stay calm. We’ll make them pay for this.”

“What about the plan, Dutch? Isn’t this family sitting on gold?” Bill’s voice cut through the night, his ulterior concerns evident.

Hosea answered, his tone grim and weary. “I hate to break it to you, but there is no gold. I’ve turned every stone. If they ever had any, it's gone.”

“For Christ’s sake, Hosea, after everything? Another perfect plan fed to the dogs,” John retorted, his voice laced with bitter frustration. Arthur felt the same anger bubbling up inside him—another one of Dutch’s schemes that had led them into danger and kept them on the run from the law.

“We underestimated them,” said Hosea, his voice heavy with regret and concern.

“No, they underestimated us!” Dutch roared, his voice echoing through the trees. “Enough talk. There’s no point arguing how we got here. This is where we are. And we are going to kill every one of those inbred trash.”

Arthur’s grip tightened on the reins, his knuckles white with tension. The thought of what lay ahead mixed with a fierce determination to bring Jack back safely. His heart pounded in his chest, a relentless drumbeat of anxiety and resolve. As they rode on, the night closed in around them, a shroud of darkness and danger. The only sounds were the thunder of hooves and the heavy breathing of their mounts. Arthur’s mind was a storm of emotions, the weight of his responsibilities pressing down on him.

The ride to Braithwaite Manor was filled with a tense silence, each man lost in his own thoughts. Arthur’s mind kept drifting back to Kate. They were close now, and there was no turning back. Jack’s life was at risk. The stakes were higher than ever, and the weight of their mission rested heavily on his heart. There was no room for distraction or hesitation.

Dutch’s voice broke through the silence, a final order before the storm. “Nobody makes a move until I say so. Follow my lead.”

The tension in the air was electric as they approached the manor, each man ready for the fight of their lives. As they dismounted, Arthur’s thoughts turned briefly to Kate once more.

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

Kate couldn’t sleep. The lamp was down to the midnight oil in the small green canvas tent that the Marstons called home. She had stayed with Abigail while the men were out in search of Jack. She couldn’t tell how long they had been gone; her weary mind drifted in and out of consciousness. She tried to stay alert for their arrival, or for anyone else who might try to abduct another member of their gang.

Abigail slept beside her, her cheeks tinted pink from tears. She clutched Jack's nightgown tightly to her chest, inhaling the scent of her child, her whole world. Kate understood that feeling. She looked down at her hands, the dim light flickering across her fingers. Old blood was dried into the cracks of her nails. Images flashed before her eyes of the violence that had defined her day. She had unleashed herself on Colm’s men, disregarding her promise. And consequently, she had neglected the safety of those left behind at camp.

An acidic queasiness settled in her belly. It had felt good to kill those men. By some miracle, or perhaps coincidence, she had found Arthur’s captors amongst the men hiding at the ranch. The two men had recognized her, though she had no idea how. They had never met before. But like most cocky men, they boasted about Arthur’s torture and the pain they would inflict upon her. Little did they know who she was.

Keeping them alive as the last two men standing, Kate gave them the same courtesy they had given Arthur. She made sure they would never use their arms again, and strung them up by their ankles. Finally, she sliced open their bellies, their blood draining like pigs for the slaughter. Her friends watched in cautious silence. And when she was done, she mounted Lorena, and together they left the ranch without so much as another word.

It was justice, Kate tried to convince herself. But no, it was a deep selfishness. One that an old friend had stoked like flames to a fire. Perhaps it was in her nature, to lose lives and take them. All of the people Kate was, and tried to be, were always a part of her. The mother, the nurturer, the defender, and the killer.

She regretted her actions, but selfishly, she would do it all again. The thrill of revenge had brought her a temporary sense of control, a fleeting moment where she felt powerful in a world that constantly threatened to strip her of everything she held dear. But as she sat in the tent, the reality of her choices weighed heavily on her. She wasn’t sure if she could ever reconcile the different parts of herself—the woman who longed for peace and the one who couldn’t escape the violence that had shaped her life.

Exhaustion finally overcame her. The flickering light of the lamp faded as she drifted into a restless sleep, haunted by the faces of the men she had killed and the fear of what might come next.

When Kate awoke the next morning, the first light of dawn seeped through the tent’s seams. She reached out instinctively, but the space beside her was empty. Abigail was gone. Panic gripped her heart as she sat up quickly, straining to hear the muffled voices outside the tent.

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

Arthur stood at the back of the crowd, his eyes scanning the faces around the small wooden table where Dutch sat, the tension palpable in the air. Dutch was deep in thought, the weight of leadership pressing heavily on his shoulders as the gang awaited his orders. Abigail stood silently next to John, her face a mask of fury and desperation. Her tears had dried, replaced by a seething anger at the men she had trusted to protect her family, now arguing over their next move.

The Braithwaites didn’t have Jack. They had passed him off to a man named Angelo Bronte. Arthur’s mind raced with strategies for their next step. Bronte was supposedly in Saint Denis, the heart of the new modern America, where law was heavily enforced, and policemen patrolled every corner. They needed to be cautious. Any misstep could end with them at the end of a rope, and that wouldn’t help Jack at all.

As Arthur idly rubbed his wounded arm, the pain a constant reminder of his recent ordeal, he replayed the events of the night over and over in his mind. They had stormed the Braithwaite manor, killing everyone who stood in their way. But they had been too late. Dutch had shot Catherine Braithwaite without hesitation and ordered the house to be burned to the ground. An entire empire, a long-standing family, wiped out in an instant.

He was lost in his thoughts when a gentle touch on his arm brought him back to the present. Turning around, he found himself face to face with Kate. The memory of her actions, the betrayal he felt, and the look in her eyes were too much to bear. He quickly averted his gaze.

“Arthur,” she began quietly, her voice trembling with worry. “Where is Jack? Is he—”

Arthur shook his head, cutting her off. “They didn’t have him,” he said curtly.

“W-what did you find?” she stuttered, her voice edged with panic.

He knew he was being cruel by withholding details, but the turmoil inside him made it difficult to be gentle. With a sigh, he turned to face her again. “They handed him off to some Bronte fellow. Jack is somewhere in Saint Denis.”

“I don’t understand, why would they do this? What do we do now?” she asked, her voice rising in desperation.

Arthur gestured towards the group of men who were still arguing heatedly. “They’re working on it,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady.

Feeling incredibly defeated, Arthur’s thoughts were a blend of frustration and sorrow. He had thought things were getting better. After nearly dying from sepsis, he had started to find comfort and joy in Kate’s presence. But now, everything seemed to be falling apart. Sean’s death had barely been processed, overshadowed by Jack’s disappearance. His recent fight with Kate had left a gaping hole in his heart, the urge to mend things with her gnawing at him. But there was no time for feelings right now.

The gang was on the brink of a precipice, and Arthur knew they needed to act quickly and decisively. As much as he wanted to fix things with Kate, Jack’s safety had to come first. Pushing down his own emotions, he focused on the task at hand, knowing that every moment they delayed could bring them closer to disaster.

“It’s gonna work out, John,” Hosea’s voice joined the commotion, his tone reassuring. “Jack will be fine. Just listen to Dutch.”

Dutch’s voice cut through the din, authoritative and calm. “I don’t expect you to understand this, but I need your trust. Your word, now more than ever. No more running off behind my back. I know you were trying to do the right thing—”

“If I don’t get that boy back safe, I’m—” John shot a glance at Abigail, who stood trembling with a mix of anger and fear. “She’ll kill us all.”

“Looking at this logically, that boy is fine. They only took him to scare us. Nobody takes a child to harm him,” Dutch continued, his words meant to be comforting but failing to ease the tension.

“It’s true, John,” Hosea chimed in, placing a reaffirming hand on his shoulder. “Arthur, what do you think?”

Arthur sighed, shaking his head slightly. They were all trying to be strong for John, but deep down, they were just as scared. They’d seen what this world could do to children. The cruelties of their life were too real, too close. There was no guarantee Jack was safe.

“The boy will be fine,” Arthur lied, trying to steady his voice. “But of course, Marston’s scared rotten. We killed all those people, stirred up all that trouble…for nothing.”

Dutch scoffed from his seat. “No. No, not for nothing. For living. We get that boy back, and we go. It’s about time we leave this place. Trust me.”

Suddenly, Lenny’s voice boomed from the camp entrance. “Dutch! We’ve got a problem!” He shouted, rifles raised and pointing at two strangers who walked into camp with their hands held high.

Arthur’s mouth went dry. It was the Pinkertons. Agent Ross and Agent Milton.

“Not a problem, visitors. We come with a solution,” Milton said coldly, his demeanor relaxed and confident. His gaze found Arthur’s. “Ah, Mr. Morgan. Nice to see you again.”

Instinctively, Arthur stepped in front of Kate, shielding her from whatever was about to unfold. The other gang members began to surround the two agents, their suspicion evident. Dutch betrayed no hint of surprise, remaining seated comfortably.

“To what do we owe the pleasure, Agent Moron?” Dutch said, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

“I don’t know if you’re aware, but this is a civilized land now. We didn’t kill all them savages only to allow the likes of you to act like human dignity was not yet invented,” Milton explained, his disdain palpable. “This thing? It’s done,” he spat.

Dutch finally rose from his seat, confronting the agent. “This land was never civilized. It’s consumed with man’s love for greed.”

“And that lets you take what you please? Kill whom you please and hang the rest of us? Who made you the messiah to these lost souls you’ve led astray?” Milton retorted coldly.

“I’m nothing but a seeker, Mr. Milton,” Dutch replied.

“You’re nothing but a bunch of killers. But I came here to make a deal; you come with me and I’ll give the rest of you three days to run off and disappear. I’m giving you one last chance to live like decent human beings.” Milton’s voice rose, addressing everyone in the gang.

A bitter chuckle rose from Dutch’s throat. “Ain’t that a fine thing? You risked death by coming into a den of murderers and thieves to have me. And to give them the chance to live and love?”

Kate remained quiet behind Arthur, her hand ready to draw her pistol at a moment's notice. But she sensed that this man, this detective, was telling the truth. Why would he risk so much for one man unless he was out of options?

“I don’t want to kill all these people, Dutch. Just you,” Milton answered, his resolve unwavering.

Dutch raised his hands, a hint of mockery in his voice. “In that case, I’d be happy to join you, Agent Milton.” As he stepped closer to the detective, everyone simultaneously began to draw their pistols.

Kate watched the moment unfold with genuine concern and admiration. These people, Arthur’s gang, were willing to risk everything for one man. Their loyalty and dedication ran deeper than she could ever imagine.

It was Ms. Grimshaw who leveled her shotgun and gave the final orders. “I think it’s time our new friends leave.”

Agent Milton raised his hands once more as Lenny and Javier began to escort them out of camp. “You’re making a big mistake, all of you!”

“The only mistake is how you keep following us. Good day, sir,” Dutch said, turning away, suddenly unbothered.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. And when I return, all of you will die. Run away from this place, you fools!” Milton’s tone carried a desperate warning. As he turned to leave, his gaze locked with Kate’s for a moment. He narrowed his eyes, trying to piece together her familiar face, but Javier’s gun pushed him along.

“How dreadful,” Dutch chuckled as he returned to his seat.

Arthur approached Dutch quickly, his steps heavy with the weight of the situation. “What now?”

“We get out of here. Have the women start packing. I’m sending you and the others to look for a new hideout. We’re running out of time,” Dutch said quietly, his urgency clear.

As Arthur turned to carry out Dutch’s orders, his eyes met Kate’s once more. The pain and fear were mirrored in their gazes. There was no time for reconciliation now. They had a mission to complete, and the stakes had never been higher.

“Arthur, maybe we should consider—” Kate began her voice quiet, searching for the right words to address their precarious situation.

Arthur spun on his heel so fast it made her dizzy. “Don’t. Don’t you even suggest it. You don’t have a say in this anymore, Kate.” His rage towards the Pinkertons and his anxiety about the lives at stake spilled out in hot bursts towards the woman he loved, and he couldn't stop the fire from spreading.

“Excuse me?” she responded, her voice a mix of offense and hurt. “I only want what's best for the gang.”

“The best thing to do now is leave. Go help the women pack,” he ordered, turning away from her.

“When does it end, Arthur? This cat-and-mouse game you have with seemingly every lawman in this country. How many more people have to be killed for it to stop?” Kate’s voice wavered with her fading strength. It was all too much to handle; everything was changing so fast. And now an innocent child was involved. She didn’t know what to do.

Arthur’s voice roared back, “I don’t know! Make up your goddamn mind, Kate. You go back on your word and put a target on your back. And now you want to lecture me on my poor choices? If you’re tired of running, you can leave. I won’t stop you.”

He left her with those words, his steps heavy and final. The men took off without a moment's hesitation, Ms. Grimshaw dishing out orders to begin loading the wagons. Kate felt a bitter moment of déjà vu, back to the day at the Downes ranch. She had scolded him for his actions, as if she were one to reprimand him. Kate had glimpsed the kind of man he truly was that day—the hardened outlaw, the merciless killer. She knew there was a kind heart inside him, and she had fallen in love with that part of him. Convinced herself that she could persuade him to leave it all behind, to give up that title for something softer. Arthur wanted it too, but only now was she beginning to understand the giant inside him. The man who had never known peace, who spent every moment fighting for his life and the lives of his family.

Arthur was consumed by his loyalty, as Kate was consumed by her grief. The realization hit her hard, and she felt a deep, gnawing sorrow. She watched him mount his horse, his back tense with determination and anger. The bitter truth settled over her like a shroud—no matter how much they loved each other, the world they lived in was tearing them apart.

A/N: I hope this chapter was alright! To be honest I went back and forth over this conflict for a while, and I think that’s where the birth of my writers block began. I wasn’t intending for their fight to become so heated, but then i was like “you know what? Their situation is a crock of shit, it can’t all be sunshine and rainbows.”

(Also trying to squeeze this in while simultaneously returning to a major plot point of the game was really hard haha)

So yeah, i may have gotten a bit carried away. But fear not, my summary for this chapter was incredibly dramatic. They’re not breaking up! They just got to figure themselves out, and come to understand one another. I want to make it clear that Kate has just as many flaws as Arthur, and that she suffers in silence too. God these two really need each other 😭

I think this was my first time writing some serious angst that didn’t involve one of them nearly dying (lol). So let me know how I did! It’s been awhile since I updated this story, and sometimes things can get lost to the tricks of time. If you notice any inconsistencies or plot holes please don’t be shy to point them out to me! 🙏❤️

#arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #ao3 fanfic #rdr2 fanfic #arthur morgan x original female character #red dead fandom #arthur morgan x reader #ao3 #arthur morgan x oc #fanfiction #arthur morgan rdr2 #lots of angst #hurt/comfort #mostly hurt im sorry #rdr2 fandom

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becauseimanicequeen · 4 months ago

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Hi, Queen! I'm on bedrest after a surgery I had last week and is currently watching QLs all day. I'm flying through some high heat ones atm and loving every minute although I'm physically uncomfortable. To some it may be controversial to say this, but I connect more with the high heat stuff than the romance because that's who I am irl too.

Anygay, I think I've seen you write about high heat shows before and was wondering what your favorite sex scenes in QLs are?

I'm only about 100 QLs into my journey after almost a year of watching. Most of them are Korean before I found Thai QLs and then Japanese, Taiwanese, and some Vietnamese. You have watched many more than me so could you give me your best tips? My favorites so far are everything in Bed Friend and the one at the hotel/motel in the Pornographer movie. What are yours?

I hope you have an amazing day!

Hi, @whatevenisthishellhole (and the three Anons who sent me similar asks when 4 Minutes was airing)!

Excuse my late reply. I've been super busy throwing paint at canvases a la the boys in I Saw You in My Dream (not quite, but similar). I've also been battling with this post for a day or two since I had to remove a lot of the gifs and videos I originally added to this post to get it unflagged. But, here we are!

First, I hope your surgery went well and I'm happy that you're having a great time even though you're uncomfortable.

Second, it's not controversial to say you like the high heat stuff! Unless you're a child. But neither you nor I am.

I absolutely get where you're coming from. As someone who prefers sexual relationships over romantic ones, I also prefer the high heat shows/films (even though I also watch shows/films that don't include sex). We're all different, just like it's supposed to be. And since you and I both seem to like the high heat stuff, let's talk about it, shall we?

Also, even though we often talk about heat levels regarding QLs, what we consider high or low heat is very individual for all of us. So, I've chosen to include scenes that I personally rank mid to higher heat levels to give some range. And I've chosen scenes that show different ways of having sex because I like variety.

And, btw, thank you for writing "sex scenes" and not "NC scenes" because I have beef with the latter term (which is super weird considering I'm a vegetarian. But, anyway...).

Third, I don't get triggered. So I suggest that you (and anyone else reading this) look up possible trigger warnings before you dive into most shows in this post if you're sensitive to anything in particular.

Fourth (and the last one before we get into the good stuff, I promise), I've watched 350+ QL shows/films in about 14 months (it was my escape last year as I tried to survive some grief, which is why the number is so high) and I have a terrible memory. There's a chance I've forgotten most of the ones I liked. But I will try to remember (lol).

With all that said, let's finally dive into my list (which I've gathered in no particular order)!

My Favorite Sex Scenes in QLs

Mike and Jack in Twins (Thailand)

To be honest, the heat level can be discussed here. But! I wanted to include this scene because Mike and Jack were everything to me when Twins was airing (and had I been on tumblr at the time, I would've screamed about these two) because they were friends with benefits who stayed that way without getting into a romantic relationship (which I want to see more of since romantic relationship aren't the be-all and end-all for everyone).

Ryou and Anda + Thee and Jet in Love Stage!! (Thailand)

I couldn't find a gif of the scene I like, but it was in the 6th or 7th episode or something. It's the sequence where Ryou and Anda's sex scene is interwoven with Thee (Anda's brother) and Jet (his secret boyfriend) also having sex.

Phat and Saengtai in La Pluie (Thailand)

I missed this when it was airing in 2023 but watched it earlier this year instead. And I loved it so much (one of my absolute favorite shows I've watched this year). One of the reasons is the chemistry and sexual tension between Phat and Saengtai, which is on fire when they almost have sex at Saengtai's apartment, when Saengtai sucks Phat's dick, and when they have sex at Phat's apartment.

All three of those scenes are great. But I particularly love the scene at Phat's apartment because, now that Saengtai feels ready, Phat gets to give Saengtai pleasure too.

Rak and Mahasamut in Love Sea (Thailand)

Of course I'm listing Mut fucking Rak's face on my list because that scene was iconic! (I couldn't find a gif of that particular moment, but this one is from the same scene that leads up to Mut fucking Rak's face:)

Charlie and Babe in Pit Babe (Thailand)

Honestly, this scene was almost omitted from my list because the racing cutting into the important shit every fucking second is driving me nuts (lmao!). But Charlie's gaze and Babe's facial expressions convinced me to add it anyway. So, here we are.

Alan and Jeff in Pit Babe (Thailand)

Their first time was good, but their sex scene in the last episode was great. The way they were looking at each other, the way they were kissing and touching each other... I loved it.

Thantatch and Lomnaw in 2 Moons: The Ambassador (Thailand)

If I remember correctly, I thought most of this show was meh, especially in the beginning. But! I remember I was surprised to see sex scenes in the 2 Moons series because there hadn't been anything beyond kissing and removing shirts in the previous ones.

The two scenes I liked most in this one were the ones where Thantatch and Lomnaw suck each other's dicks.

This is the lead-up to the first one where Lomnaw sucks Thantatch's dick:

And this is during the second one where Thantatch is doing wicked shit to Lomnaw under the blanket:

To be honest, these scenes are a bit sweeter than savory for me, but they still make the cut because the acting felt very natural, and, again, I was pleasantly surprised with these scenes (and the other sex scenes in this show).

King and Uea in Bed Friend (Thailand)

Just like you, I loved Bed Friend. Mainly for the chemistry between Net and James.

Honestly, you can't make me choose which sex scene I liked most because I loved them all. Even King's jump up on the bed.

But I just want to say that the lighting was immaculate in this particular scene:

(It took me ages to try and find a gif of this before I gave up and went with a static screenshot instead, lol.)

Mangkorn and Yai in Big Dragon (Thailand)

I don't necessarily vibe with Mos and Bank's cutesy stuff, but I love them when they throw high heat at me like they did at Mangkorn's place in Big Dragon.

Sailom and Namnuea in Wedding Plan (Thailand)

The moment when Sailom could finally be himself around Namnuea, after all those years of hiding himself because of his family and to protect his best friend (Yiwa), was everything to me. Sailom was starving, and Namnuea was more than willing to let himself be devoured.

Nueng and Anueng in Blank (season 2) (Thailand)

As someone with a biting kink, this scene was made especially for me. And I appreciated every fucking millisecond of it.

(Sidenote: I would let Faye do whatever she wants with me.)

Ji and Achi in To Be Continued (Thailand)

Their first time (in the past) was great (up until the point where misunderstandings and miscommunication happened, but let's forget that for a moment, lol). They both wanted it so bad that it was palpable. And I loved this scene just as much as I loved these two miscommunicating idiots.

Kawin and Pluem in Ghost Host Ghost House (Thailand)

If I remember correctly (which I might not), I think we only got two sex scenes in this show, and I loved them both. So I'm obviously including both.

First, we have their first sex scene, which has a build-up that's amazing (this video is longer than the scene in the actual show, btw).

Then we have the scene after they reunite in the last episode (I also think this one is longer than the scene in the show).

Jom and Yai in I Feel You Linger in the Air (Thailand)

Since I'm an ice queen who has a hard time crying, I tend to get obsessed with things that melt my ice and open up my floodgates. This is the first and only time that I can remember having cried while watching a sex scene. That's partly why I love it so much.

It is beautiful and emotional because Yai knows that he will eventually lose Jom. That grief hit me so hard (which is why I cry every time I rewatch this show) even though Yai hasn't lost Jom yet. It's just so beautiful and one of my absolute favorite sex scenes.

Gao Shi De and Zhou Shu Yi in We Best Love: Fighting Mr. 2nd (Taiwan)

Heat level can be discussed, but this scene is filled with so much emotion, angst, and desperation that I can't help but love it.

Chen Yi and Ai Di in Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan)

Heat level can be discussed, I'm just here for the chemistry and the neon lights, because both are amazing (and I'm such a slut for neon lights).

Tharn and Phaya in The Sign (Thailand)

I loved their chemistry and I loved all the neon lights in this scene (have I mentioned that I'm a slut for neon lights?).

Aob and Puen in Playboyy (Thailand)

This tattooed daddy and his baby were everything to me in Playboyy. Aob had some solid walls around his heart, but when it came to taking care of his baby, he delivered with a solid handjob.

Sky and Prapai in Love in the Air (Thailand)

Their first time is great (the neon lights in that scene are gorgeous). But the sex scene I like the most with these two characters is the one in the special episode where Prapai fucks Sky on the conference table at his office. I mean, Prapai unbuttoned Sky's pants with his fucking teeth. That boy was hungry.

Sun Bo Xiang and Lu Zhi Gang in History 3: Make Our Days Count (Taiwan)

Let's forget the ending of this show and just focus on these two for a moment because their first time was such a spur-of-the-moment thing (in the gym after lockdown, btw) fueled by a desire that went from 0-100kph in less time than a Ferrari would. I loved it!

Tan and Bun in Manner of Death (Thailand)

I can't make a list of my favorite sex scenes without including Max and Tul in MOD. I mean... Max is fucking fisting his hands in Tul's hair. And sucking lips.

And they're plant dads! What more could I want? (Transplant. That's the more I want.)

Mingmueang and Namning in Be Mine Superstar (Thailand)

I can barely remember anything about this series except Mingmueang and Namning. Their chemistry was on fire. And there's just something about Jo (who plays Namning) that pulls my attention to him. I can't take my eyes away. Pairing him with Bosston (Mingmueang)... I'm still hoping their spin-off will see the light of day. Pretty fucking please!

The Novelist/Pornographer + Mood Indigo (Japan)

I'll be honest and say that I love every scene in this whole series from the first show to the last short (I have a sweet spot for the darker and more complex Japanese stuff). And that includes the sex scenes.

If I were to pick my favorite one, though, I would agree with you, @whatevenisthishellhole and say the hotel scene is fire.

(Also, as an advocate of safe and comfortable sex, I especially love the scene in Mood Indigo where Rio is stretching his anus to prepare himself for penetrative sex.)

Kim Sung Min and Yoo Joo Hyuk in Love Class Season 2 (Korea)

This scene is iconic to me when it comes to Korean BLs. I can't remember if I've ever seen anything like this in a Korean BL before (but, again, my memory is fucked, so feel free to remind me of how wrong I am). I've seen this and more explicit scenes in one or two gay films, but not that I can remember in any Korean BLs.

Anyway...

I love the buildup of the scene, which starts on their date, and all the way throughout this scene. It feels real, the chemistry is amazing, and it has a more mature vibe (as in, two adults who are confident, comfortable with each other, and know what they want). I love it so much.

Jao and Wayu Two Worlds (Thailand)

I'm sorry Max and Nat, but these two stole this show for me.

Let's forget for a moment that Jao has been badly wounded, had a fever, and that, apparently, sex can heal everything (especially if it's sex on the floor of an abandoned cabin in the middle of the woods). Because let's be honest, this scene was great in every sense of the word.

It was beautiful, it was raw, the lighting was gorgeous (I have to include the visuals as the artist I am), the way they were looking at each other, the way they moved. I mean, fuck me, this was a great scene.

Kinn and Porsche in KinnPorsche (Thailand)

I can't make a list like this and not include KP. And, for me personally, the pool scene is the best Kinn and Porsche sex scene.

Vegas and Pete in KinnPorsche (Thailand)

And since I love toxic little shits (Vegas being one of my favorites) as well as KP, I obviously had to add Vegas and Pete's sex scene as well.

Also, I'm such a slut for the neon colors in this one!

Korn and Tonkla in 4 Minutes (Thailand)

Say what you will about Korn's performance (or lack thereof) but Bas and Fuaiz acted the fucking shit out of their scenes. My favorite sex scene with Korn and Tonkla was the one in the first episode because it said so much about their dynamic (sugar daddy/sugar baby, Korn's needs taking priority, Tonkla wanting more, etc.). It was everything I wanted and more (the more being Bas's ass).

Great and Tyme in 4 Minutes (Thailand)

I mean... Great got his ass eaten...

Shin, Neo, and Miw in 3 Will Be Free (Thailand)

I'm a sucker for poly and would love to see more of that in our beloved QLs. So I ate up every single crumb of the little I got from this group in 3 Will Be Free (but I'm still starving, lol).

That's the end of the primary list of my favorites.

Looking back on it now, I wish I had more GLs on my list. Unfortunately, the ones I've watched are either too cute (which I don't vibe well with), too tame (for me at least) or don't include sex at all, or I probably haven't watched it yet (I've watched less than 20 so far). If you have any recommendations of great GLs, then, for the love of everything holy, send them my way! I'm starving over here, lol.

Others

I have a few more sex scenes that aren't my personal favorites (which is what you specifically asked for) but they're still good:

Ritsu and Masumi in The End of the World With You (Japan), all their sex scenes were very close to being on my favorites list (especially with Ritsu's laser focus on Masumi) but they don't feel as real to me as most of the others on my list above.

Rain and Payu in Love in the Air (Thailand), specifically the sex scene after Payu raced against the asshole (can't remember his name, lol).

Kita and Nathee in Beyond the Star (Thailand), their chemistry is amazing but I think I was too bored by the whole show to care, lol. These characters are played by Willi and Focus who are also in Battle of the Writers (which is currently airing) and they have even more amazing chemistry now.

There were some great sex scenes in For Him (Thailand) as well, but the production lost the story (and me) somewhere in the middle/end.

DIY

Sex doesn't need to be had with a partner (or several) either, so I want to highlight some solo parties too:

Yai in Big Dragon (Thailand) has a good time while looking at a photo of Mangkorn's hands.

Atom in The Rebound (Thailand) is thinking about Zen as he's masturbating and gets emotional.

Almond tries out a dildo in Knock Knock, Boys! (Thailand).

Miyata in Love is Better the Second Time Around (Japan) jerks off in the shower while thinking about Iwanaga.

Army in The Warp Effect (Thailand) also jerks off in the shower while thinking about his past love interest Joe.

Mut in Love Sea (Thailand) is also jerking off in the shower, but Rak decides to help him.

I'm pretty sure I've seen more masturbation scenes, but I can't seem to remember any more right now so these will have to do.

Other QLs that Highlight Sex in Different Ways

Before I hit publish on this post, I also want to share some QLs that highlight/talk about sex in different ways (besides the ones I've already mentioned throughout this post).

Knock Knock, Boys! (Thailand)

I know that you already know about this one, @whatevenisthishellhole. But, for anyone else wanting to watch a show that openly talks about sex and pansexuality in particular, this is a great one.

Let's Talk About CHU (Taiwan)

To be fair, this is primarily a straight show but it does have a gay pair that I absolutely love!

It also highlights sex from different perspectives and angles. For example, there are different age groups (from the youngest daughter in the central family to the parents in the same family), different types of relationships (fwb, creditor/debtor or gangster/gambler, two marriages whereby one has lasted 30+ years), and, as I mentioned, both straight and gay relationships.

(Fun fact: Helena Hsu, who plays Gao Shi De's mom in We Best Love, is also in this series.)

The Warp Effect (Thailand)

This queer show has a diverse set of characters (queer and straight) and a diverse range of relationships. It also highlights sex from different perspectives and the effects and consequences sex can have. It also includes some of the best female characters I've seen in queer shows from Thailand, and I love them so fucking much.

Final Words

Those are all the scenes I can remember at this point. I'm sure there are several that I've missed and some that I will remember as soon as I hit publish on this. But this will have to do for now.

I hope you find something you like.

And, thanks for your ask!

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lloydfrontera · 1 year ago

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wait lmao what I didn't know there was such a skip. I'm sorry this is comedy to me. so you're telling me they have this crazy ass dimension-jumping shenanigans with Javier tearing up as he finally finds Lloyd, his best friend, the most important person in his life, while it's a mutual statement for the both of them, and then we get no dialogue. and skip to Lloyd getting shoved into a hetero romance with no build up. sorry I can't believe this is real. this sounds like a joke and I choose to treat is as such. this is the most hilarious ending and the marriage now feels even more out of place hdufiskaoa9o

OH MY FUCKING GOD RIGHT?!?!?!! it is weird isn't it???? i'm not being crazy for feeling like it's a weird ass choice??? i felt like i was going insane!! i swear to god i felt like i was being gaslighted when i read it!!! there was no way that was the ending!! there was no way that ch 401 ended with one of the most romantic and heartfelt scenes i have ever read and then the next chapter just????? did a time skip where none of that was acknowledged and lloyd was just fucking married off to alicia??? completely off-screen if i may add!

i made a post about it before but i simply need to rant all over again oh my god

general warning for spoilers because i'm about to dissect the entire novel through a llojavi lens

AGAIN. SPOILERS WARNING FOR THE ENDING OF TGED.

i literally cannot express how much of a mid fuck it is when you realize that lloyd and javier's relationship is very much Thee Slowburn of tged. like. this is an indisputable fact. even if you don't think there's anything romantic between them, which, holy fuck that's such a fucking reach one must be really be in denial to not see it but whatever, even then you simply cannot argue that their relationship isn't the most important one in the entire story.

javier is the very first person lloyd talks to in the first chapter. he's the first person that welcomes him into his new life. he's the one he has to work the hardest to endear himself to. he's the one he spends the most time with. he's the one that follows him around literally everywhere he goes.

from the very beginning their relationship is given a special attention that few other things get in the plot.

through the entire story we get constant moments of them getting to know each other as people and getting closer as a result. they're constantly in each other's thoughts, which is very natural as they're in each other's company almost 24/7. it is actually hard to find a chapter where they not talking to each other or at the very least together. i cannot emphasize enough how,,, enmeshed and entangled they are with one another as characters. i mean it when i say they are a set do not separate them.

it takes lloyd 222 chapters to even admit to himself that javier is his friend and that he wants to keep him safe not because he's the protagonist of the story or useful to him or anything like that but simply because he cares for him and doesn't want him to die. because, and i quote, 'he thought he'd always be with javier for the rest of his life. just like now, he thought they'd spend all their time together moving forward. and like they always did, they'd be by each other's side during hard times. happy moments. relaxed days. they'd share all these moments as they exchanged insults and corny jokes, growing old as a lazy lord of a fiefdom and his knight. lloyd always thought so. the thought just came naturally, without much effort from him, much like breathing. lloyd believed that javier would always remain by his side as that was how it had been until now.' (ch222) <- actual textual quote. btw. if you even care.

and then. it takes javier 320 chapters, a hundred chapters more, to realize that he cares about lloyd much more than a knight cares about his lord's son. because he, and once again i quote, 'is [his] true master in [his] heart. lloyd was his friend. and now, javier wanted to protect lloyd. he would sincerely protect him with everything he had.' <- this is, if i may add some context, said as javier is fighting against a goddamn angel, literally heaven's will, to protect lloyd. after figuring out lloyd is a fake. that he's been lying to javier for several years about almost everything including who he is. and yet. this is what javier feels for him.

they are the definition of a slowburn. it takes them this long to even admit they are friends. and this is with us getting to see them together almost every chapter of the way. we get to see every step of the way. we see their relationship develop with all manner of detail.

and then. when you think you cannot get even more dramatic about them. guess what the major conflict of the plot is. guess fucking what the last obstacle for the story to get a happy ending is.

let me set the scene for you:

lloyd has just finished the jewel of truth, the artifact that will get him the answer he seeks on how to stop the restoration of fate, how he can stop destiny from making the original events of the novel come true and destroy everything he has worked and kill everyone he loves. he has javier at his side, who rushed to join him underwater to make sure he was safe and sound while using it, and he can't help but fondly think how lucky he is to have javier, who is loyal and true and has never abandoned him.

a quote of lloyd's thoughts in this scene:

That’s why, you bastard. I’m going to take care of you until the very end. Once I, your wise and older friend, solve the restoration of destiny problem, you’re going to enjoy the rest of your life by my side in peace. [...] He smiled at Javier and thought to himself. You’re my only friend, Javier. I couldn’t have overcome all the obstacles in front of me without your help. So, my trustworthy and reliable comrade, stick with me until I become a lazy lord and you become my personal guard. I hope we will be able to grow old together… -ch 327

as you can see. he's once again planning on spending the rest of his life with javier. canonically. not even an interpretation this is straight up textual i cannot emphasize enough

and then. the jewel of truth gives him the answer. how to stop the restoration of fate. it's very easy. very simple solution in fact.

either lloyd or javier have to die or otherwise vanish from existence.

that's it. there can only be one protagonist in the world and because of everything lloyd has done he's now being acknowledged by fate as the protagonist of the story along with javier. which cannot stand.

so that's the only thing stopping lloyd from getting his happy ending. he just,,, has to either kill his best friend or kill himself.

let me rephrase this from a narrative perspective: the major conflict of the story is now lloyd facing either the choice of letting everything he's achieved and everyone he loves be destroyed. losing his best friend, the person he cares the most about and has been developing an extremely close relationship through the entire plot. or dying himself.

lloyd of course then spends the rest of the plot trying to find a way to avoid having to die. that's literally what the rest of the novel is about. lloyd trying by all means possible seeking a way to not having to die. because at no point, does he ever consider letting javier die in his place even an option. he doesn't want to die of course, but he never saw javier sacrificing himself as the solution to that problem.

the entire conflict of the last part of the novel is lloyd finding a way for him and javier to be able to remain together without either of them having to sacrifice their lives for the other.

he doesn't succeed.

they end up in a battle down in hell where both of them try to give for one another leading to this absolutely delightful parallel

so fucking tasty oh my god i still go crazy when i see this set of illustrations actually

lloyd wins btw. he gets to sacrifice his life for javier. to javier's absolute heartbreak.

but lloyd doesn't die. he does end up stuck in korea tho, a place he would've rather died than go back to, so he has that going on for him. he's back in his goshiwon, absolutely heartbroken and without knowing what to do.

and then we end up with that scene. javier at his doorstep, having crossed dimensions, tearing up as he sees him and tells him how much he's missed him, looking at him with this face:

now. let's pause here. let's take a moment. take in everything i've just explained. everything that has happened to get to this point.

be honest with me. what would you say is the most natural way the story can progress from here.

take into account all that i have recounted and that i skipped so many other things of the same nature so we wouldn't be here all day.

what do you as a reader would expect to happen next

well, i'll tell you:

cut to black we're now an unspecified amount of time later lloyd has already had all the important conversations we've been waiting to see the entire time off screen and is now preparing himself for his wedding to alicia that we will also not get to see by the way

and you know what the funniest thing is. you know what is the cherry on top.

fucking guess who's the last person we see him talk with.

guess who's the person he ends the novel sharing a smile with.

yeah. Yeah.

i really don't know what else to say. i don't know how else to explain how insane this feels. how incredibly dissonant it comes across. i don't want to use the worse gaslighting like this but it's the closest word i can find to describe what it feels like. i feel like i'm being told something is happening when i can see with my own eyes it is not. or rather that i'm seeing something happen and i'm being told that no it is not and that i'm making it up.

i don't know what bk moon was going for. i really don't. especially when this is what he has to say about chapter 401 aka the chapter with javier coming to find lloyd in korea

clearly he feels very strongly about this scene too. it's the one he's been wanting to show the most, he must have analyzed it from every angle possible, must have put special care to get across what he wanted to convey with it.

so why does it feel like the last true chapter of the novel is meant to,,, undercut the feeling of it?? it almost feels as if the last chapter is telling us 'yeah yeah those two are extremely devoted to each other and would and have given their lives for one another and plan on growing old at each other's sides but don't worry :) it's nothing more than them being pals :) just two guys being really good friends :) see, lloyd is even getting married to a woman that's his real happy ending he's not gay or anything :)'

and this is not me saying that two friends cannot be devoted to each other. absolutely not of course friends can love each other platonically and that be more than enough to justify their devotion to one another.

but. it feels weird when the entire novel is dedicated to building up the relationship between lloyd and javier, taking so much time to make us really feel like their relationship is growing at a realistic pace, take almost 3/4 of the novel to even make them come to terms with how much they care for one another, spend actual years following their development,,, and then make lloyd just marry someone else. someone the novel really didn't spend enough time with to justify him developing feels for her.

this is not a diss against alicia i have nothing against her i just don't... buy that lloyd developed romantic feelings for her. much less that he acted on them that easily.

this is a man who took 222 chapters and several years in-universe to even accept that javier, the person he spent all day with, with whom he spoke almost every single day, who he had risked his life for and had been saved by several times at that point, was even his friend.

and now i'm expected to believe he's in love with someone else who, by comparison, he meets a couple of times and spends a little amount of time with.

well. i don't! it's not in character, it wasn't properly built up in the text and truthfully they don't have enough chemistry to make up for it.

i don't know what happened there. i don't know why bk moon decided to add a romance when the novel didn't need it. i don't know why he chose to make it happen between two characters that didn't have a relationship as deep as the one he spent the entire novel building up and promoting as the most important one. which may i add was between his two protagonists. y'know. the ones the novel is supposed to be centered around.

i don't know. i don't know what happened. i don't know if it was censorship, last minute panic, fear of opposition or rejection or actual obliviousness to what he had written looked like, i simply do not know.

i really hope it wasn't homophobia tho that would absolutely suck lmao

but uh. yeah. i do think the ending is very funny when you put it like that askhdsjkfds

#hey i got an ask #Anonymous #tged #the greatest estate developer #tged spoilers #lloyd frontera #llojavi #javier asrahan #long post #i don't what happened i started typing and suddenly all of this came out of me #i was possessed #most of what i said here i have said before but it's now all in one post #and i have So Much left to say about this topic but i really cannot make this post longer i am so embarrassed already aksjdhk #i feel a little hollow i need to shitpost to get back to normal oh my god #this is. why it takes me so long to answer asks btw. i literally cannot shut up.#i apologize but i cannot promise to change

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phoenixwatchesmovies · 8 months ago

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Dracula Season Watch Party: Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

The centuries old vampire Count Dracula comes to England to seduce his barrister Jonathan Harker's fiancée Mina Murray and inflict havoc in the foreign land. - Dir. Francis Ford Coppola

I haaaaaaaaaaaaated this the one and only other time I watched it because, for a movie calling itself Bram Stoker's Dracula, it sucks ass at adapting the novel. It hits all the beats but misses the themes and adds extra stuff, and Jonathan doesn't even go after the Count with a shovel, ffs. However, it is technically one of The Most Faithful adaptations we have to date, which is impressive considering how much story there is to adapt. And if I stop being such a purist turd.... *sigh* it's a good movie.

Like..... REALLY good. The costumes, the colors, the music, the camera work, everything has such a surreal vibe, and the scene transitions move with something like dream logic. Actually, I think "movement" sums up everything I loved. Shots moving around a scene, SO MUCH gauzy fabric moving in a breeze, Dracula and Mina moving through a crowd. It's ✨pretty✨

It's also horny AF. Jesus Christ.

That being said, I think the criticism I've seen saying this version turns Lucy into a slut is pretty unfair. She and Mina gossip about their relationships (and kiss in the rain, by god I ship it), and she's flirtatious with the suitor squad, big deal. She's never overtly sexual until she starts becoming a vampire, and that's nothing that doesn't already happen in the book. The two scenarios don't compare. One is established friendships that come equipped with camaraderie and intimacy, the other is a corruption. Like, that's literally what's happening, and that's where the horror comes from. As for this version's take on her sleepwalking, we are NOT calling that slut behavior. That's all I'm saying.

Speaking of the suitor squad (Lucy's potential fiances, for the uninitiated), I understand there is only so much you can squeeze into a two hour run time, but I wish they had more time to shine. I need more of Quincey being a manly man with the most golden heart of gold ever. I need more of Jack being the most lovesick and emo wreck of a human with a side of medical malpractice. Most importantly, I need Cary effing Elwes to have more to do as Art. Not that any one of Lucy's boyfriends loves her more than the others, but I feel like Art's devotion to her is given more weight because he was the one Lucy chose to marry, and ASDFGHJKL. You can't cast CARY ELWES, aka WESTLEY THE FARM BOY, of Thee Greatest Movie Ever Made The Princess Bride, and then NOT give him any room to work in that space. He could have eaten that shit up! You know it! I know it! The only people who apparently don't know it are the people who called the shots on everything from the script to the casting, because if we had spent more time with canon couple Art and Lucy and less with fanon couple Drac and Mina, WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL. *insert Adele gif because I couldn't actually find one*

While we're on the subject of Dracula and Mina as lovers doomed across centuries, YES, it's fucking romantic as shit and I've come across the concept in other stories and would have snorted that shit if possible, BUT. The addition here detracted from time we could have spent on Lucy, as mentioned above, and despite what I've said about that so far, I understand why you'd make that call. If there's going to be an epic Gothic romance, it might as well be the focal point of the story and therefore needs to happen between the leads. But.

BUT.

THAT'S ALREADY IN THE SOURCE MATERIAL. IT'S MINA AND JONATHAN!!!!! Jonathan Harker is peak Gothic wifeguy. Dude never stops thinking about how awesome his wife is and how much he loves her, and I can't even think about his refusal to let her be condemned to hell alone and his determination to damn himself with her if she became a vampire without getting in fits about it. He said "fuck God if he doesn't love Mina, he's not good enough for her and I love her enough for both of us," and you think ANY other love story can beat THAT??? They did my good friend Jonathan so so dirty.

On the subject of my good friend Jonathan, I know I'm not the only one who thinks Keanu Reeves would look so. Fucking. HOT. With gray hair. I don't know what they did to him in the back half of this movie, but rather than be disappointed in how fake it looks, I'm choosing to look forward to the day we finally get Silver Fox Keanu.

Other details I loved now that I'm done complaining include Mina's wardrobe echoing Elizabeta's gown in the prologue, red light reflecting off Renfield's glasses when he's talking about his master, red appearing more prominently in Mina's and Lucy's wardrobe as they fall under Dracula's influence, the zoom-in on the bite marks on Lucy's neck transitioning into the wolf's glowing eyes in the next scene, Dracula's shadow moving independently of his body, everything Anthony Hopkins is doing as Van Helsing, and the entire standoff between him and Mina and the brides.

I think I've said all I feel like saying, and it took a full 24 hours to stop talking, so in summary: I DO like this more than I used to, but I like it more when looking at it on its own merit and not as an adaptation. What I like, I really like. What I don't like, pretty much has to do with how it differs from the book. The most important part is that I had fun watching. Even if there aren't any flappy bats on a string.🥂

#dracula season watch party #dracula #dracula 1992 #bram stoker's dracula #vampires #jonathan harker #mina murray #lucy westenra

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panikkar · 9 months ago

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thinking about how the three of the biggest relationships in bucks life are pretty significantly tied to helicopters/helicopter crashes,,, (partially inspired by this post by @maygrcnt)

taylor kelly: met her when her news helicopter crash. not the first person he seriously dated but definitely is the most serious romantic relationship he had yknow. can’t forget the whole couch metaphor arc.

eddie: i mean it’s pretty self explanatory but eddie’s helicopter crash when he was in the army caused him to be discharged and forced to be reliant on his family again, which is what made him move to la, where, of course, he met buck. they’re literally thee most important person in each others lives. they’re besties. coparents (when the only help eddie’s had as a coparent is shannon, who left (no hate to her it’s complicated shit and she did die but still she did), and his parents, who were controlling and not what either of them needed and also just generally really shitty to eddie at the time (ESPECIALLY re his parenting). and then buck comes along and like within a year he’s like i trust you with my life and my son and my sons life! after everything!! and puts buck as chris’ legal guardian in his will—) n e ways yeah that but also eddie’s ptsd related to the whole helicopter crash incident was super significant later in their relationship too bc eddie was at his lowest point (a place he’d been before but back then, his wife left him and his parents actively made everything worse instead of helping) and buck just like. steps in WITH eddie and gives him what he needs and like takes care of eddie and chris in they way they both need instead of forcing them into what he thinks they need like eddie’s parents did. yeah. and eddie actually did some healing then unlike the last time. so eddie is easily the most important and serious and intimate (like platonically but also Not) relationship buck has ever had, more so than any of bucks gfs.

and then tommy comes around!!! a fuckin helicopter pilot. he and buck first meet not necessarily in a helicopter crash but in a helicopter. in an emergency situation. and they draw SO MANY parallels between tommy and eddie and taylor (he and eddie have a lot in common like with the whole army and martial arts stuff and they get really close really fast and then BUCK HIMSELF drawing the taylor parallels. literally biting at my enclosure.) and wow! look at that! they kiss (and soon start a relationship) and tommy is literally not only the first man buck has ever kissed, but also the catalyst for buck realizing he’s bi. (or, at least, that those feelings bucks had for men in the past (cough cough eddie) are like mushy romantic/sexual/Very Not Platonic things.) literally even if they just kissed that once and had no relationship past that it’s still a massively impactful (non)relationship for buck!!!

and somehow. somehow the most important relationships in bucks life are all connected to helicopter crashes/emergencies. and they’re only characters who have such big connections to said helicopter crashes/emergencies. and they all have relationships that are incredibly important and impactful to buck. this is literally canon.

#literally going insane over here #IT WOULD BE ONE THING IF HELICOPTERS WERE JUST SOME REGULAR SHIT IN 911 LIKE IDK CONNECTIONS TO VICTIMS OR DISPATCHERS BUT NO #THESE ARE THE ONLY THREE CHARACTERS CONNECTED TO HELICOPTERS LIKE THIS AND BUCK HAS (OR WILL) MADE OUT WITH ALL THREE #wait jfc am i imagining this or did lucy get ‘transferred’ to the lafd helicopter unit or whatever too #i can’t emphasize enough how insane that is #911 could be cancelled by now or be doing circling the toilet like many many shows do so far into their run (which is what s6 felt like #a lil bit to me) but abc took this show that’s past it’s prime running down and they’ve breathed so much life into it!!!#bc they’re giving the characters and their interpersonal relationships the attention that made the show special in the first place (and #also what i think it kinda lost in s6 a lil bit)#god i love this show #911 #911 fox #buddie #911 abc #evan buckley #911 spoilers #911 abc spoilers

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stormyoceans · 4 days ago

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MONICA'S INCREDIBLY BIASED TOP 5 BL SHOWS OF 2024

1. SPARE ME YOUR MERCY. small town murder mystery with exploration on the topic of euthanasia but also of trauma grief guilt obsession humanity and love. this show was always going to mean a lot to me due to the focus on terminally ill patients, and while i am fully aware of some of its flaws when it comes to the investigation and the romantic elements of wasan and kan's relationship, all of it gets overshadowed by how nuanced and thoughtful the engagement with the main topic was (AND ALSO THE VIBES THE VISUALS THE ACTING!!!!!!!!!)

2. CENTURY OF LOVE. im actually not the biggest fan of the reincarnation trope, so this show ending up as one of my favorites of the year already says everything about how enjoyable it is. yes, it's very campy, but that's where part of its charm comes from, and while i do think there are a couple of things that could have been done better, it was still able to deliver in a way a lot of other shows this year weren't able to. daouoffroad were incredible as an old man trapped in the body of a 20-something years old and a foxy ray of sunshine personified, and they gave us THEE SEXIEST MOST MEMORABLE SCENE OF THE YEAR

3. WE ARE. truly thee biggest plot wist of 2024. if you had told me when the trailer for this show first came out that this was going to be in my top 5 BLs of the year i would have probably laughed in your face, but im so very glad i gave it a chance. sometimes we do need stories like this, stories that are light and fun and free of drama, but also incredibly genuine and full of heart, where friendship is put front and center and gets to shine as much as the romance, if not more. i love this show unabashedly, and im grateful for the happiness and comfort it gave me

4. FIRST NOTE OF LOVE. most underrated little show of my heart and soul. i completely understand why most people found it boring or frustrating, but to me this series feels like an old friend holding my hand and telling me everything is gonna be alright as we watch the sun slowly rise above the water. there is just so much tenderness and emotion and healing woven into the story, and i loved every second of it. it's also a BL about music that actually puts the music front and center, so it's not surprising that it actually gave us the best soundtrack of the year too

5. CHERRY MAGIC (thai). this is another full on comfort show that feels like a warm hug. i wasn't sure until the very end if it was gonna make it in my top 5, mostly because i didn't get to talk about it on here, but i do love this series a lot, and as someone who has yet to watch dark blue kiss (im a sham and a fraud, i know ;;;;;;), it also introduced me to taynew as a pairing. am i totally biased because p'x directed it? possibly, but the thai remake fixed a lot of the things i didn't like in the original japanese series and it gave me a classic romance focused on communication and mutual support, and sometimes that's more than enough

+ bonus (because im a cheater)

THE TIME OF FEVER. the only reason this didn't end up in my top 5 is because i think it works better as a movie than as a series, and as such i wasn't sure if the comparison with other shows could work. i still had to sneak it in somehow because not only it's beautifully made, but it also made me feel things god only intended for martyrs in moments of divine ecstasy at the threshold of death to experience. it takes the award for best kiss of the year too

#IM POSTING THIS BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME #im just not good with summaries/recommendations/whatever this is ;;;;;;;;#but i really wanted to try to make one this year #TOP 5 GLs NEXT!!!!!!!!!!#BECAUSE I CAN ACTUALLY MAKE THAT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!#but im gonna wait for pluto to end on saturday first #it's still a 2024 show to me #anyway #spare me your mercy #century of love #we are the series #first note of love #cherry magic thailand #the time of fever #bl 2024 #m: txt

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fafayayarhen · 3 months ago

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Have you considered

France x Austria

Austria x England

Austria x Russia

and much more?

AS A MATTER OF FACT YES I DIDDLY DOODLY HAVE ANON, hear ye as one of the connoisseur of APH Austria we have this knack of multi-shipping our princess for reason that he makes such good material for it backed by the historical precedent, never forget Matthias Corvinus' "Where Mars gives other kingdoms, Venus gives to thee," in regards to the Habsburgs' renowned marriage strategy!

✨ Now buckle up anon ✨

France x Austria : historically the most disastrous and problematic and terrifying nightmare fuel for the rest of the continent. In fact, some 80% of the conflict had been because of these bitches' rivaling houses having beef with each other. Think the popular pretty girl VS the other popular pretty girl type of dynamic but when they're working together it's both the worst thing possible for everyone and each other because both will stab the shit out of one another. I love them.

It's very possible on a more intimate level the two are able to get along for the fact they're very much two sides of the same coin and are simply dressed differently is all. Both would know the worst of each other and their most vulnerable, I feel their intimacy and bed related activities would be wild — smth smth sex is the rawest form of expression to relinquish control and they'd delve into it. Romantic wise I can see the two being the type to go, "Love doesn't suit our rotten souls."

England X Austria : they're quite an interesting one to me! Anon and everyone will notice a pattern here that I go more for a historical basis route and damn it it's because I remember them better than having to go search through canon material sO — anyhow, Anglo-Austrian relation is a real thing as much as it was quite a... Unique situation between the two. There were the Austrian Anglophiles who insists an alliance with them is efficient to oppose the French (it's always the French)

As much as both had the knack of not fulfilling their end of the bargain to each other as promised because of "changing circumstances". Like we saw in that one episode where England upped and left Austria be during the war of the Austrian succession because he just wanted to beat up France, yeah? That example was demonstrated several more times between the two in the course of their supposed alliance. Roderich and Arthur would have this dancing around one another type of thing going on because they strike me as the type to be more calculative before ever getting personally close when both were the huge superpowers in that time period. And given the British and Spanish had already existing beef whilst the Spanish and Austrian Habsburg branch were united as is, you can see the conflict of interest that created the "they'll be good if we need to kick the French but also our Spanish relatives are important but hurm,"

Personally it was that incident during when the Spanish forces were trying to recapture Gibraltar from the English that lends to this complex dynamic because they asked helped from the Austrians for support only for, whatever REASON, they backed the English forces. This was in the 1700s I believe? I'd like to think England may have bedded the pretty Austrian for that LMFAO.

Russia X Austria : Whew. Okay this one has been quite the guilty pleasure for me ngl. Smth about the domineering force that was the Russian empire, the menacing bear that is Vanya and considering the number of fairly decent alliances the Austrian maintained with their Russians (partitions, holy league, etc.) Roddi and Vanya would have an amicable relationship. I'd think Roderich would have had the sense of walking on eggshells around this person for reason he can just tell at first glance to thread carefully or be at the mercy of whatever Russia would choose to impose of him.

Something like a faux compliance from the most dangerous beast for the pretty sweetling, giving Roderich this false sense of control that maintains the apparent "harmony" of the relationship. They're actually so interesting ngl that I'm sure there's a number of pretty good historical references to grow them with!

Honourable mentions that have been lingering in the back of my mind that aren't the big popular ones —

• Turkiye X Austria : COFFEE CULTURE!! also coughs they have the kind of enemies to lovers vibe I dig

• Poland X Austria : wouldn't you know it that not only during the partitions were the Austrians most lenient towards their polish citizens but consider many times, they had been allies too — I believe marriage arrangements between their monarchs were planned as well but unfortunately couldn't come to fruition

• Netherlands X Austria : Okay here we go babes before they were Netherlands they were the low countries and under whose house if not the HRE and then the Habsburgs by way of claim through marriage to the Spanish for inheritance, and if not ship material why did they have good relations including an Austrian monarch marrying into the Dutch to help them fix up governance and they flourished? Also tallest man bagging the prettiest princess who was once married to his rival (Spain) is the single funniest addition to this

• Denmark X Austria : Listen. I haven't seen many touch into this but not only do they share actual pastry influence with each other, during the second Schleswig-Holstein conflict, it was by the Prussians recruiting the Austrians they managed to beat the Danish and I imagined it was the princess straight up stabbing the shit out of Denmark that had the Dane be horny at first sight and well, when you're the winner of the war you'd want to get your spoils, no?

#aph austria #hws austria #fraus #engaus #rusaus #turkaus #nedaus #denaus #polaus #aph #hetalia #hws #roderich edelstein #haaa #the ship-able princess that you are #like genuinely the historical material gives SO much food #hetalia world stars

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forkaround · 1 year ago

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I don't care about their Rich People Problems - A Rant

So, I was doing my weekly audit and I realized why I didn't like 2023 BLs.

I love Perth but I can't stand Kanghan. His problem is his dad is too nice. HIS DAD IS TOO NICE. He has money, his dad doesn't expect things from him. Like seriously. That's his problem.

Also the Only Friends characters. Their problems are seriously HAVING money and time. Money can't buy happiness type story. *deep breaths*

And Tantai from Laws of Attraction. They want to paint him as abused, but we know for the most part his dad only ignored him. There wasn't that much physical harm. And he has all this money that he can do anything with. Hell his dad even offers to send him to the US. They have money. And still Tantai doesn't have a job. He only has to pick a place and his name will get him a decent job but no, he is doing god knows what.

And the shows point it out over and over again. Like make up your mind, you want me to like them or not?

I can't stand any of these characters especially when they are paired with a poor boy.

Sailom has to carry the emotional and rational burden of the relationship while Kang acts out. Kang won't suffer any consequences what so ever but Sailom will and yet...

And don't get me started on Tantai and Thee. He has an evil father. He knows what his father is capable off and yet, Thee is taking the brunt of the fall, the blame, the beating, everything.

Same with Sand. He keeps saving Ray at his own expense. Not just emotional but physical, financial and social. And Ray gets mad at him??? Like boy take a look in the mirror.

Even a little bit with Bai Zongyi and Zerui's relationship.

I can't... I just can't with these characters.

I'm like read the room. It's 2023. Rich people are enemy No. 1 all over the world. Especially rich assholes with no self awareness and you make them into the romantic leads. Like 10 years ago I could have suspended my disbelief. In 2023, I can't. I can believe the 'everyone is gay' universe. I can believe all BL shenanigans. I can even believe people would choose to kiss other people with vomit still on their lips. But I can't suspend my disbelief and say they aren't Elongated Muskrat baby edition.

It's simply because the writers didn't know how to come up with a life struggle for these characters and that's why you have 'having money is a problem' problem. Like grow up.

You want power dynamics? There are other ways.

You want poor little rich character? There are other ways.

BLs have done it before. BLs have had decently written poor little rich characters. But this isn't it.

I still remember what Mark's mom said last year in Love Mechanics: (To paraphrase) 'Money can buy happiness but it's not as expensive as we think.' That is such a powerful, honest, realistic and rational statement.

Forget vampire BLs I want Eat the Rich BLs.

#dangerous romance #rant #dangerous romance the series #only friends the series #only friends #laws of attraction the series #kiseki dear to me #love mechanics #kinnporsche #the eclipse #thai bl #gap the series #big dragon #until we meet again

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quietwingsinthesky · 1 year ago

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your aro dean posts remind me of the siren episode! people use the fact dean got a "male" siren as a way to prove that dean is attracted to men in meta posts, but the siren itself tells dean that it took this form because the type of intimacy dean longs for the most is a platonic relationship (a brother that looks up to him and trusts him)

LITERALLY!!!! I was mostly joking when I made my first post about aro!dean being the closest thing we have to canon, but???? I mean????

The more you look, the more the evidence stacks up: His longest relationship pre-canon lasted a few weeks. (Thinking of Cassie here, who I think is valid evidence for a demiromantic dean reading but could also be him wanting a deeper relationship with her and thinking the only way forward was a romantic one.) (his relationship with lisa pre-canon was that they had bendy sex lmao.) His fantasy world with the djinn gives him a fake wife who isn’t even a real person he knows but a fantasy from a advertisement (if I remember correctly.) AND he spends that whole episode more focused on the fact that his relationship with that version of Sam is so damaged. His siren takes the form a brother when his relationship with Sam is at its rockiest. When Zach puts him in his little au where Dean’s a Normal Guy, he still lives alone, no hint of even a fake romance this time. Sam and Dean SAVE THE WORLD because their relationship as brothers is so important and powerful, literally destiny changing, they held together under a pressure that broke two archangels apart!!! His relationship with Lisa is very clearly A Performance underpinned by caring about her and Ben but not being able to do so in the way she needs. He meets Benny in purgatory and when their relationship deepens beyond friendship, he likens it to being brothers. Family is always and forever Thee most important thing to him. He repeatedly voices a distaste for dating and the like. He literally just wants to nest in a war bunker with his brother and his buddies, cooking burgers and making sure they’re all safe 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Alsjdjlfjfkd sorry that’s so long but like!! Making a point!!! This man does not need a romantic relationship, he does not want it, he is always more fulfilled by platonic relationships!!!

#he is so important to me #and grows in importance every day #spn #aro!dean #dean winchester #ask

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forasgaard · 2 years ago

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Hiiiiiiii!!!!! I would like a Neteyam x reader where reader is lo'ak's best friend BUT is in a secret relationship with Neteyam. When Lo'ak finds out it (maybe because he find y/n and Neteyam kissing) and there is an argument between them but then Lo'ak says something bad about y/n so Neteyam start a fight with his brother. Basically Lo'ak doesn't want them to be together because he is afraid that Neteyam will become y/n's favorite (since Neteyam is also her parents' favorite). Thanks <3

Here we go:

Jealousy Jealousy

warnings: fluff, fighting, blood words: 1.6k

"He did not!", I laughed out. Lo'ak snorted while laughing. "Yes he did! He was to desperately trying to shoot thee arrows at onec that he fell down his direhorse!" The youngest Sully son held his stomach while laughing. "I wish you could've seen it!"

"Man, I wish I could!"

I had spend the whole afternoon with my best friend Lo'ak. We've been growing up together and have always been friends. Nothing could separate us. Not even his older brother, who caused a lot of different feelings in me since a few months. I never really noticed him. He was always just there. And he was gone, doing training with Jake most of the time anyway. But a few weeks ago, it changed. He was home more often and sometimes I catched him staring at me. And I didn't know how it happened but I developed romantic feelings for him. I think it happened that one afternoon when I was swimming with all the Sully kids and we climbed up some high rocks and jumped down into the lake. And while I climbed, my foot slipped and I fell down.

Neteyam catched me. It was cute but also really awkward. In the evening, before I left, I went to him and wanted to thank him for that day. And he confessed his feelings for me. And then we came together. It's weird that I catched feelings for him and not for Lo'ak, who has been my best friend since childhood. We met secretly in the woods and our relationship was connected with adventure and excitement. Sometimes I felt guilty keeping this a secret to Lo'ak but we wanted it to keep this a secret until Neteyam finished his training and we both were old enough for bonding and marriage.

So we shared as much time as we could but because nobody had to know, it was difficult sometimes.

That afternoon, I spend with Lo'ak and his sisters at his home. Neteyam came back from duty in the early evening. We shared a small secretive smile when he arrived. With his head he made a unnoticed movement into the forest and I nodded. Sunset date was planned. I stretched and faked a yawn. "I think I gotta go home" I stood up. Lo'ak frowned. "Already? It's not even sunset."

I shrugged. "Yea but I am tired. I stayed up all night to watch the stars yesterday. I'm sorry."

He groaned. "All right, all right. But remember - we wanna go flying to that cove tomorrow."

I chuckled. "Yes of course, Lo'ak. We've been planning that for weeks, I could never forget that!"

With that I said goodbye to his siblings and went outside the forest. My heart sped up, I knew Neteyam would start to follow me soon. I sneaked to our secret hiding spot. A tiny glade under four massive trees. It was so beautiful here. A few minutes later he came. Without a word, he grabbed me by my shoulders and kissed me passionately. I sighed. I missed him so much. I hugged my arms around him as much as I could and he deepened his kiss. As we ran out of air, he leaned his forehead against mine. "I missed you", he whispered. I stroke my thumb over his cheek. "I don't want to keep us a secret any longer, it's just so exhausting."

He moved his head and looked down to me. His eyes sparkled. "I know but you know, my father would be against it. He would think I wouldn't concentrate on my training any longer."

"You already don't ", I laughed and he chuckled. "Yeah, that's true.", he admitted. "We flew over our lake today and I almost hit the rocks."

I let out a loud laugh and slapped a hand on my mouth. Even tough we were in the middle of the forest, we had to watch out. If anyone saw us...

He smiled widely and I just wanted the time to stop. I leaned forward and closed the distance of our lips.

"I knew it!"

He flinched away from each other. My view flickered around. Lo'ak stood between a tree at the entrance to the glade.

Lo'ak! Nonononono! Not him. He just stared at us, looked our hands that were entangled.

"Brother...", Neteyam raised his one hand to calm Lo'ak down. But he opened his mouth in shock. "You!?"

"Please, let us explain", I began but he didn't listen. He made a step towards me. "Him!? I knew you were meeting someone. But him!? Why does it have to be him!?"

"Lo'ak, I'm sorry I didn't told you but-"

"You're breaking my heart and all you say is sorry!?", Lo'aks gaze switched back and forth between us. His words cut through my heart and left it empty. I truly felt sorry. But we could not tell him.

"And you brother!" He was furious.

Neteyam raised both hands even higher. "Listen, I'm sorry! We should have told you!"

"Then why didn't you?", Lo'aks eyebrows that he inherited from his father Jake, drew together. He seemed so lost and I just wanted to calm him down. I made a small step towards him. But Lo'ak stared at me with wild angry eyes.

"You coward!", he screamed. Some animals over our heads rustled in the leaves. "We've been friends since childhood, I thought we would tell each other everything!"

"Lo'ak that's enough!", Neteyam said harsh. He put a hand in front of me, as of he wanted to protect me from his own brother.

"Everything!", Lo'ak hissed. His ears pinned back in an aggressive gesture.

Were there tears in his eyes? The guild hit me like a giant wave. "Lo'ak I'm so sorry-"

"What's your problem? You're not her only friend!", Neteyam said. His hand slightly touched my waist. Lo'ak saw it and hissed at us. "I hate you!"

"I am sorry!", I screamed desperately. I didn't want to loose both of them.

"Traitor! How could I ever been friends with you!?"

"Leave her alone!"

"YOU leave her alone!"

Both brothers now screamed and hissed at each other like angry cats. I tried to calm them down with words but none of them listened to me. Then Lo'ak jumped closer, made a fist and hit Neteyam in the face. His head flew back and I gasped in shock. His lip started bleeding as he turned to his brother. Furious.

"Skxawng!", Neteyam he ground out between his teeth. His ears twitched. They both attacked each other and a few seconds later they lay on the ground as a moving blue bundle. I could hear their skin scratching onto each other and hitting noises were breaking my heart.

"Stop it!", I cried out. They were killing themselves! I hissed at them and tried to grab someone's arm or leg. I tugged at them until I got a foot in my stomach. Defeated, I fell down. Pain spread in waves around my rib area.

I groaned and pressed my hands on the area.

"Y/N!"

They stopped fighting, Neteyam still held Lo'aks braid in his first. "Lemmego" the younger one grunted and heated his hands into Neteyams face. He hissed but let go. They ran to me and kneeled down.

"You morons!", I cried.

"I'm sorry!", Neteyam stoke over my head.

"Me too", Lo'ak murmured.

"Yeah you should!"

"Shut up!"

"GUYS!" I looked at them. Tears in my eyes. They hurt me more than they hurt themselves. "Could you just stop! Please!?"

"I'm sorry.", Lo'ak repeated himself. "I was just so angry seeing you with him.", he admitted.

Neteyam scanned his brother, wiping the blood from his lips. "Wait- You are jealous!"

"No!"

"Yes you are."

"Lo'ak" I put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him. "Lo'ak you're my best friend. I don't wanna lose you, I love you. I love you both!"

Lo'ak snorted. "Sure. You like him more."

"No" I answered in confusion. The pain in my stomach got better slowly.

Lo'aks mouth contorted into a weird grin. "It's always him. Everything is just about him!"

"What?", Neteyam blinked surprisingly. "Me?"

"Yeah! You're Dad's favourite. You're Mom's favorite The people's. And now you're even her favourite!"

"Lo'ak that's not true!"

"I only want to be someone's favourite as well!" He squeezed his eyes and suddenly tears fall down his eyes.

"Lo'ak!", compassionately, I took him in a tight embrace.

"Brother...", Neteyam didn't know what to say. "I am sorry. Really! I don't do this on purpose!"

"Then don't", Lo'ak sniffled into my hair. He looked up. "You're MY brother. I don't wanna lose you"

Surprised, Neteyam placed a hand on Lo'aks head. "You won't leave me, what made you think that?"

The younger one escaped my hug. "When you're a couple, you will leave us, you will leave our family and then I will see you even lesser than I already do!"

I saw the guilt in Neteyam's eyes. The guilt for being gone so often. The guilt for not being there for his little brother.

"I'm sorry.", he whispered and Lo'ak looked at both of us. "I don't want to lose any of you."

"You won't!" Neteyam placed a hand on Lo'aks cheek. "But you have to understand that we love each other. And yes, we will marry. But that's far in the future." Their eyes locked and Neteyams were full of love for his sibling.

"And none of us will leave you, brother. But it must stay a secret. Will you promise to not tell anyone?"

Lo'ak scanned his eyes and nodded surrendering.

"Thank you", I whispered in his ear. Lo'ak sniffed. "You guys are the worst!", he said, acting pissed. I let out a small chuckle.

Neteyam hugged me and his brother at the same time with both of his arms. "I won't let any of you go", he promised and tightened hip protective grip. "Even if it's the last thing I do!"

Masterlist

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