#THE WHOLE ACTUAL APOCALYPSE WITH CONSEQUENCES

[itsqueenshroom]

how it started:

how it’s going:

[theautistichalflinghole]

Oh gods I forgot how devastating John's bite is

Like they're coming off this high after surviving an attack, they're even being silly and joking around with a recall to the before times

And just out of nowhere they get him, and immediately he's not even thinking about himself anymore, he sacrifices himself with all the remaining humanity he has to protect Anna, he saves her and she has to watch him die.

Like I'm so not normal about this they're literally the best friends ever like gooooooddddddd.

[absolutedestinyapocalypsse]

i love how as you read more into tlt, the ninth house seems more and more normal. Like if i'm at an immoral evil government competition, and i use human fat as soap and animate skeletons to do menial labor, i'm gonna LOSE if my competition is the third house, represented by ianthe "who HASN'T eaten human flesh and fucked a corpse" tridentarius. My weird skeleton thing seems normal, suddenly. Well-adjusted, even. It's recycling. They're using resources in a sustainable way. Normal and regular and productive for a post-climate change apocalypse universe.

People go on and on about how Muir drops you into gtn hearing from the person who knows the least about whats happening, and does not hand hold the reader through the crazy shit that occurs, and that's all true. It truly is a crazy writing decision to make your first pov character come from the universe's equivalent of amish fundamentalists. But the reader is actually done a huge favor being dropped into the ninth house first, because we already understand that space is cold and what catholic nuns are, and what goths look like, and what lesbians are. Very little time is wasted in the first chunk of gtn ripping hair out of your head wondering what the fuck is going on, because for all of its strangeness, the ninth house is already the most familiar thing we're gonna get.

Because THEN we learn that this whole universe's medieval chivalry system is designed to groom people from CHILDREN to not only be exploited and used as human batteries for necromancers, but to LIKE it. to wax poetic about it. to confuse it for love, to write fucking academic papers about it! Then we learn about planet flipping, an act so horrific and violent it turns the planet's soul into a massive vengeful monster capable of killing GOD. Like what do you MEAN the animals "change"? Is this why noodle has six legs? I would MUCH prefer to wear skeleton makeup and repent forever if the alternative was to witness my family dog grow TWO EXTRA LIMBS because the planet he lived on fucking died. Suddenly, living in the asscrack of a planet where no light gets in seems like a sweet deal when the whole solar system is lit by a sun that MAKES YOU GO CRAZY. The ninth house's WORST sin, killing 200 babies to make Harrow, a waste of resources and an act so terrible it haunts Harrow for the entire span of her life, is like a BLIP compared to the death count Jod's empire. God even hears about it and he's like, no big deal! The cohort probably kills that amount of people in a DAY.

And its ALSO tragic because you realize that all of this trauma and abuse that Gideon goes through is not really because of the ninth house at all. It's really just an individual skill issue that she wasn't treated with compassion. Nobody hated her because she's jesus or a bomb, nobody even KNOWS she's a bomb. It's just Priamhark and Pelleamena being deeply guilty and scared people that motivates her treatment, and absolutely nothing else.

They did something bad, and they know it, and Gideon survived it, and they can't kill her to cover it up, and that's IT. They killed themselves for pride, because they were afraid of the consequences of their actions (both the baby killing and Harrow opening the tomb) coming back to bite them. You can argue this is the catholicism of it all, and I wouldn't say you're wrong, but compared to the cavalier system, where exploitation is in the very lining of the house's institutions, the ninth house is really removed from the space empire's blood factory. This is compared to the fourth house where they have tons of children to be CANNON FODDER to join the cohort at fucking 14, compared to the eight house uncle nephew fuckery, even the fifth house which actually does seems nice to live on but also seems to have the fourth house in some sort of fucked up political bear hug??? (maybe the fourth house has so many kids in order to fight the fifth's battles? which is EXACTLY what jod's whole empire is about; politely stirring your tea and acting nice while you destroy everything) compared to ALL OF THAT, the cruelty that Gideon faces is really more a bug of the ninth's system than a feature.

There's nothing baked into the culture and everyday life of the ninth house that necessitated that cruelty; in fact, for such a pragmatic and resource-scarce place, it's WEIRD that a strong able-bodied young person was treated like a waste of space and resources. It could just have easily not happened, if Harrow's parents had been different people. Maybe they were products of their environment, but so was Harrow, and she values Gideon's life SO MUCH that she'd literally rather carve out parts of her own brain than exploit her. Gideon grows up knowing really NOTHING about cavaliers, so remote from the horrors of the empire that she develops an idea of what the cohort is from porn magazines. And in a lot of ways, that upbringing was desolate and terrible, and in a lot of other ways it literally DID NOT HAVE TO BE.

Gideon's MAIN THING is that she wants to be useful, to be needed, to be loved and it SUCKS that she couldn't even get it in the one place where she was actually an invaluable resource, where the death empire had the weakest reach. Gideon can't even blame her lack of love on the fucked up chivalry system like everyone else can because it JUST WASNT REALLY RELEVENT!?!?! This is like if i rolled up to the trauma competition and everyone else was raised in a nuclear warzone by wolves or something and i grew up in like, the suburbs and was raised by teachers and i somehow STILL WON. truly what the fuck guys.

[acepalindrome]

I got emotional thinking about Chrono Trigger tonight, and the fact that the majority of the cast could have just given up on the whole ‘saving the world’ thing, gone home, and lived perfectly fine lives with no consequences for walking away.

If you’re unfamiliar with Chrono Trigger, the basic plot is that our plucky heroes accidentally get pulled back in time after a science experiment goes wrong. On their quest to get back to their own time, they accidentally end up in the distant future, and discover that the world is destroyed in the year 1999 (of course,) and the future they find is a desolate wasteland where the few surviving humans are on the brink of starvation. It’s terrible!

But here’s the thing: our heroes are from the year 1000. The apocalypse is 999 years away from their time. Once they find the way back to their own time, they could have just forgotten about the future. It wouldn’t have affected them! They would be long dead before any of that ever happened! The only character who would have been impacted was the robot they met in the future, but they could have brought him back to their time too and called it a day. There was no consequence for them to walk away.

But they don’t, of course. They make it their mission to figure out what caused the apocalypse and how to prevent it by jumping back and forth through time. They do all that, risking their lives, for a future that they wouldn’t live long enough to actually experience. They don’t do it for themselves. They do it for the world.

It’s just kind of a lovely thought. Planting trees in whose shade they would never sit.

[sodaequalsbubbles]

One thing I really miss from Inquisition is the Game Over screens. I loved how they weren't just plain "your party went down, reload your save" screens. They were a little more like Bad Ends in an RPG horror game for instance, as it shows a bit of the aftermath if the Inquisitor dies or fails a main quest in some way. Even if they are just a single drawn panel with text on it, it's still pretty eerie to see the consequences if you fail.

The standard game over slide you get ( if you got party wiped while exploring for example):

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If your court approval goes down to zero during 'Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts' the Inquisitor is kicked out of the ball and is unable to save the Empress. Leading to Corypheus conquering Orlais:

______________________________________________________________

If you fail to escape the twisted future that Alexius's spell sent you into during 'In Hushed Whispers', it cuts to a screen where Cullen, Leliana, and Josephine stare mournfully at the Inquisitor's empty throne:

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During 'Champions of the Just', if you take too long in investigating Therinfal Redoubt the templars are overrun. And you see Ser Barris being held down and about to be executed by his former brethren, now corrupted red templars:

______________________________________________________________

Another game over in 'Champions of the Just' is if you die to the envy demon. The game over screen shows the Inquisition completely unaware that the real Inquisitor is dead, and that the envy demon has taken their place:

(I got these screenshots from FluffyNinjaLlama on YouTube, the link is here you wanna see all of the game over screens with the music attached.)

If I'm not mistaken DAI was the first (and I guess only da game) to have unique fail states. I really was hoping to see more of this in Veilguard, but we ended up getting just three endings (not counting the "secret executioner" ending crap ugh). And while it's obvious which endings are worse than the others, they can't be considered "fail states". They are just ENDS.

There is no possibility of true failure in Veilguard. No matter what decisions you make or who dies, Solas and the Evanuris are stopped regardless and the Veil stays up. Which is honestly pretty boring in my opinion, because it removes all of the stakes from the story.

I can't actually fail to save the world or make choices to change the world, so do my decisions really even matter? No matter what I do the world is going to be just fine and stay as it was. It made me completely uninterested in replaying this game, because I was going to see the same sequence of events that lead to basically the same ending over and over.

But of course, they were considering having fail states or maybe alternate endings in datv. But they ultimately never made it into the final product.

For instance, there was going to be a fail state if you were unable to stop Solas from completing the ritual, and he tears down the Veil.

______________________________________________________________

Another fail state that would occur is if Rook was unable to sever their mental connection with Solas. And that would lead to Solas actually killing Rook.

But I guess that all comes down to me feeling that Datv just does a horrible job in realizing how serious this whole situation is. Solas and the Evanuris are trying to destroy the world as they know it. The apocalypse is right at their doorstep and the odds are stacked against them in almost every way, and yet there is no such thing as a true bad ending in this game. Or at the very least choices that affect the outcome of the ending far more than "everybody is alive and we saved the day :)" and "everybody is dead but we still saved the day :/"

[rederiswrites]

Just saw a (perfectly good otherwise, which is why I'm making my own post, because I have no desire to beef) post that talked about how good Veilguard is and hinged part of its argument on the idea that bringing down the Veil would kill everyone and would definitely be a bad thing. But that theme worked specifically because they forced the narrative that bringing down the Veil was a bad thing, and purged all evidence to the contrary from the game's lore!

Look, I think Veilguard IS a great game! I love it! But, like every other DA game before it, it leapfrogs right over some established lore to tell a different story, and the story it ultimately told was not about quite the same Solas many of us loved in Inquisition and Trespasser, and the difference is significant.

There was quite a LOT of reason to believe that the Veil is an unsustainable artificial structure that, by its existence, does literally incalculable harm. And no one, probably Solas included, knows what the final consequences of bringing it down would be.

The Veil was a mistake in the first place. It changed Thedas so completely that even the ancient lore of all currently existing cultures does not talk about what it was like before. It's unimaginable. We see only tiny glimpes of a world where gravity might as well not exist and form is mutable and elves don't age and if you got bored you could go on a whole-ass vacation from your body, for centuries if you wanted. Where magic was inextricable from physical existence. Where you could spend centuries playing a piece of music. And not only was it a mistake, but it didn't quite do what it was designed to do! The Blight got out anyway! Slower, and less, but it still got out.

So what Trespasser set up was a choice--continue the deep harms of the current world, a world that is in a near-constant state of apocalypse, or incur the terrible harms of bringing down the Veil for what might be a better world after. But what Veilguard gave us was a man who was used by someone he loved, betrayed by people he trusted, and never in all his wisdom managed to move past that. And your choice is to either trick him or help him move past that. It was actually a compelling story! I can buy it. The story of a spirit, deeply damaged by the things he felt trapped into doing. But it WAS a forced narrative, and they had to brush a bunch of really pivotal lore under the rug to make it work. "What is a Circle" levels of don't mind the man behind the curtain.

I defend the right of creatives to alter their story and tell it the way they want to. I also recognize the difficulties they face dealing with technical and business realities. But let's not pretend that people who were disappointed with Veilguard just don't get it or didn't understand the lore correctly. We can enjoy the game and also not invalidate that disappointment.

[amirasainz]

heyy !! I absolutely got HOOKED on baby!sainz reader and I'd like to ask you to write a fic about baby sainz when she's in a new relationship with an unproblematic celebrity (your choice) and the grid and the grid and her brother want them to break up by framing her boyfriend cus they think nobody is good enough for her. but she is actually happy and it's her first healthy relationship and when she finds out about what they did she is very upset with them and in the end Reyes scolds Carlos for ruining her relationship and tells him to go and fix it (ikkk its veryyy long ;] )

I'm back!!!! I changed this request a little bit but I hope you still like it.

Guys I got the notification that some request went lost on their way to me. Please, feel free to send me your request again, and I will writeit as soon as possible.

Enjoy reading and let me know if you have some whishes.

-XoXo

No Part 2!!!!

20-Step plan

When Amira Sainz and Timothée Chalamet officially announced their relationship, they didn’t just break the internet, but also the Formula 1 paddock. As usual in such situations, the drivers already had a 20-step plan. A few months ago, the drivers all prepared the plan, like some might prepare for an apocalypse. So when the perfect time arrived, the drivers set their plan into motion. Don’t get them wrong, of course they want Amira to be happy. However, in their eyes, no man was the one for Amira, even if Timothée was one of the most unproblematic actors in Hollywood. So after a “how-to-get-the-two-of-them-to-break-up-and-cheer-Amira-up-afterwards” meeting, the plan was set into motion.

Everything was going smoothly. They got to know Timothée when Amira and he visited the paddock in Canada. Then, they made sure that they spent more time around the couple. After some time, they took them partying, even going so far as only going with Timothée partying. They wanted to test his loyalty. They started little rumors about Timothée, talked with him about his exes in front of Amira, even making “innocent” assumptions about him and his co-workers. Even though nothing fazed the couple, the plan went smoothly. Until it didn’t.

“Carlos, I just feel wrong,” stated Charles. Lando, Carlos, George, Alex, and Oscar turned to their Monegasque friend after hearing his tone. Charles was deathly pale, his hands shaking. “Mate, are you okay?” asked George. “Yeah, you look horrible,” added Oscar. “Don’t worry Charles, you can help with the next step when we—” before Lando could finish his sentence, Charles exploded. “No. NO! No more us sabotaging your sister’s relationship. No more starting rumors. No more plan. I’m done with this.” Charles’ outburst made all his friends stare at him, shocked. “Guys, don’t you see how happy they are? How in love they are?” He looked at all of his friends who at least had the decency to look down. “Percival, we are just making sure that Amira is—” “No, Carlos. We are trying to ruin something that is beautiful. We all just want Amira to be happy and comfortable. And if she feels that way with Timothée by her side, then we just have to accept that.” After a moment, he continued: “If you guys want to continue, then fine. But every action has consequences.” With that, he left the room, making the other five share some looks with each other.

What they were unaware of was that Amira was standing in front of the door. She heard the whole “plan” they had and what their next step would be. Before one of the men could say anything, the door opened. They were met with Amira’s disappointed face, tears shining in her eyes. “Hermosa, what are you doing here?” asked Carlos. The moment he saw his sister, he stood up from his chair. “Carlos, what have you done? What have you all done? Why… why are you doing this to me?” Immediately, all of the drivers tried to defend themselves, while also trying to console Amira. “You know what? Save it. I don’t want to hear anything.” With that, she left the room, leaving the rest of the drivers speechless behind.

It took the drivers three months and a lot of apology gifts for Amira to forgive them. Timothée, who heard everything from his beautiful girlfriend, also convinced her to forgive the drivers after seeing how miserable they were. So after the three months, everything was like it used to be. Amira got treated like a princess and all of them are still in love with her.

Bonus (+)

When Carlos walked into the kitchen, he was met with the sight of his mother, one shoe in her hand. “Carlos, sit down,” Reyes ordered sternly. After a moment of hesitation, he sat down. “Amira told me what you did. I am more than disappointed in you, young man.” “But mamá—” “Did I say you could speak?” she rhetorically asked. After sensing he wasn’t going to say anything, she continued. “As punishment, I will take away your phone and you will sit in the chair in the corner, thinking about what you did wrong.” “Ay, mamá. I am nearly 30 years old. You can’t…” He fell quiet after seeing his mother slowly raising the shoe. “…But some self-reflecting will definitely do me some good,” he whispered, before slowly sitting down in the “I-behaved-bad” chair.

[astupidweeb69]

You know x-virus don’t get enough love…. Do you have any head cannons regular or nsfw (maybe both)??

I've been thinking about this guy a lot lately for some reason. Also I've never written for Cody before so hopefully this came out okay.

I was going to work on Toby's but.... I have more inspiration for Cody at the moment. He absolutely doesn't get enough love!

X-Virus Headcannons

SFW

Isn't related to Toby at all. In fact doesn't really look like him either. Sure, he's got the brown hair, but he looks waaay more dorky than Toby does. While Toby has kind of a boy-next-door-from-hell look to him, Cody is more slender and works out less. He looks like your typical STEM student (sickly complexion, poor nutrition, etc.). His whole schtick requires him to stay indoors most of the time, in a make-shift lab.

Has a refrigerated van, which he paid to be converted to safely transport whatever science experiments he's got going on in a temperature-controlled environment.

He tries to stay in one place. He's less of a drifter than most of the other creeps but sometimes... the things he does requires him to uproot his life and start over in another town. (No Cody you can't just infect your landlord with a mutated form of tuberculosis when they raise your rent! There will be consequences!)

Has kind of a nasally voice. I feel like he always has a bit of a cold too.

Ironically has a shitty immune system, and probably drinks those Airborne Immune Support drink mixes like it's his job. Also a germaphobe, wearing medical gloves all the time, and his hands are dry and cracked from overusing sanitizer.

LOVES Re-animator. He's rewatched that movie more times than he can count. But he has a love for science fiction movies in general, with horror elements to them. Like Alien.

Also loves zombie apocalypse movies, but that's an obvious one. Specifically 28 Days Later and World War Z.

Sometimes he's like... should I try to make a zombie virus? nah.... unless...?

I also think he was raised by a single father, who worked for a large pharmaceutical company.

Antisocial. I know Toby and him are compared a lot and people give them similar 'hyperactive' personalities, but I don't see that for Cody at all.

Cody's more focused, and is less inclined to interact with others. He doesn't really get lonely?

I'd say he'd get along okay with someone like EJ (both like science, ya know?).

Toby and him hang out a bit - they'll stay in and watch movies together. Or Cody will tag along with him to a bar and watch as Toby fails to pick up anybody. Cody wouldn't say it to his face, but it makes him feel better about his own social skills to see Toby strike out like that.

NSFW (Under the cut!)

I don't know how he'd find himself in this situation - but if he DID have a partner.... the sex would be kind of bland at first?

He doesn't know what he wants and frankly is too much of a germaphobe to get up close and personal with someone he doesn't know well.

You'd have to spend months getting to know him for him to feel comfortable to engage in anything sexual.

I think at the start of the relationship, he'd want to experiment with voyeurism.

He'd be across the room watching you touch yourself, giving you directions while he slowly strokes his cock, loving the feeling of ordering you around.

But as things escalate, of course, he'd give in to his urges. However, the voyeurism would become how he likes to foreplay.

Out of all the creeps (most of whom I view as being dominant) he's actually pretty tame.

He whimpers a lot, and it sounds almost pathetic when he moans. He's been holding out for so long for the right person, and when he finally gets to fuck he's absolutely drunk off of you.

That said, his sex drive is about average.

One of his roleplay fantasies is him being the experienced scientist, and you being his lovely little assistant.

Probably started after the first time you helped him in his lab.

He just kept thinking of you in a tiny little lab coat, bent over his desk - papers and test tubes falling to the ground while his hips piston into you.

[artbyblastweave]

Regarding the semantic limitations of capeshit, is there a decent term for "superpowers exist but capes and costumes just isn't a thing for whatever reason" be it due to it never occurring in the first place or due to the status quo settling without capes and costumes and the whole hero vs villain duking it out thing? Like especially the it never occurring in the first place I find quite interesting, and is something I see often enough in media in which magic and spells are innate and the consequences of that power being unrestricted and unpredictable, but I don't think that is termed either afaik

I think that the TVtropes parlance for this is "Not Wearing Tights-" works with that label are often in conversation with or direct adaptations of traditional cape-and-costume superhero stories but with the aesthetic sanded down out of a combination of budget pragmatism and excessive self-awareness.

Unfortunately it's kind of a self-justifying trope in a lot of ways because the logistics of creating an effective traditional costume are genuinely batshit crazy on a lot of levels. Wild Cards is a setting where the idiom exists but fell off as a mass practice because there were very few would-be heroes with powersets and resources that made a typical superheroic presentation practical. Mutant City Blues is a TTRPG setting where, in the face of widespread mutation, would-be "traditional" heroes exist but are largely limited to the convention circuit for liability and practicality reasons and are viewed as unserious weirdos by those who tend to their business in plainclothes. Heroes is a universe where there are several characters who probably would costume up if the opportunity presented itself but shit's going down too fast and too constantly for that to ever become workable. Ex-Heroes is a setting where many of the powered vigilante heroes used to have costumes but they were almost universally really shitty hack-jobs produced on shoestring budgets, propped up aesthetically by the users put-up-or-shut-up ability to flip cars and fly, and, in the face of zombie apocalypse that defines the setting, eventually became just too much of a pain in the ass to repair and replace.

Mass adoption of costumes and code names is, unfortunately, something a setting actually has to do a lot of legwork to justify, and this has been true since at least Silver-age marvel, where, if you go back with a fine toothed comb, a surprising number of the characters are visibly coming to their heroism from a showbusiness perspective- Spider-Man the would-be wrestler, Daredevil the son of a prize fighter, Hawkeye the circus performer, Iron Man the unofficial corporate mascot, Wasp the fashion designer, Cap the USO propaganda object, this crops up a lot. Likewise, works like Worm and Abberant and The Boys burn a lot of narrative capital on the logistics of acquiring a costume that doesn't suck shit, and the proximity to power that a really high quality costume implies.

[lookingforhappy]

TUA wasn't "always meant to end like this" nor did it build up to a tragic everybody dies ending in any way

sorry this is long and rambly but im noticing a lot of people coming out of the woodworks saying that the ending wasnt even bad actually and i just.. its not a redeemable ending to me and yes it does ruin the rest of the show for me and i wish i had the strength to make it not so but im stuck rn.. anyway:

i don't think i can forgive the ending, more than anything that happened in the final season

they had interesting character points, in an interesting setting.

and yeah they didnt tie up anything, and several people were out of character this season but thats nothing new in this fandom

eudora was forgotten, diego and luthers personalities didnt develop they were altered to be more palatable for the audience, grace and pogo became cameo characters instead of finishing their arcs or development in a meaningful way, reginalds plan has made less and less sense as the seasons go on, the commission was entirely changed from its set up in s1 and then forgotten.

thats all forgivable as long as the season is self contained and satisfys the tone and story.

s4 did none of these things - its not self contained as it leaves jennifer and abigail severely underexplained, and then flips the tone and message of the entire series on its head.

people have already noted that the theme of the show is that recovery from abuse haunts you into adulthood but with love and hard work and perserverance you can overcome it. the apocalypse has always been a metaphor for the cycle of abuse and how it continues to harm people after its been done, and how allowing it to dictate your life will end up in it imploding in your face etc.

but theres also just the general tone of the show.

the final season tries to make out that the siblings are themselves responsible for the apocalypses and only their death can prevent more apocalypses (twisting the meaning to be that of "if you have trauma then you should kill yourself" which like.. clearly bad, no explanation needed)

but to pull through on this ending the previous seasons need to have ended in tragedy too, or hinted towards it tonally. they never do.

the obvious way to do this would be to write each season ending/apocalypse to be sad/tragic. have the focus be on the people dying horribly in pain, show the remorse of the siblings, punish them by making it personal, show that they killed everyone and they know it.

the only season that even slightly does this is s1 as patch is killed because of diego, pogo and grace are killed because of luther and viktor, and the rest of the supporting cast is killed due to viktor.

but even season 1 isnt framed as a tragedy or a story leading up tot a tragedy.

its a story of hope. the siblings arent upset by the apocalypse because they can survive and prevent it and theres hope for the future and more specifically for THEIR future. nothing else remains from this timeline other than them because the whole show is centred as their recovery story. their hope.

if this was ever going to be presented as a hopeless tragedy then we needed to see characters like claire killed brutally. we needed to actually see Grace's lifeless body. we needed to see the consequences and see that nothing they did was fixing anything by having these consequences follow them and not just in a "this happened and im sad" but in everyone around them and them becoming worse as time goes by.

if they wanted the whole "we cant exist" ending to work then we needed to frame s1 and all subsequent seasons to actually show that it was their actions that caused the apocalypses.

viktor causes the first apocalypse because of reginald's abuse.

the US government causes the second apocalypse because they tortured an innocent to the brink of death and then got upset and aggressive when that had consequences (viktors powers overspilling and destroying the fbi building). like sorry that apocalypse was never viktors fault - its like false confession under torture, it doesnt count as real because he only did it to make torture stop.

the 3rd apocalypse is caused by Harlan accidentally killing their mothers, which again is not even his fault. he didnt want to kill them he just lost control and he had no idea that it would end the world (logically it shouldnt because this apocalypse defies the laws of time that they themselves established for the show).

the final apocalypse isnt even caused by them its caused by abigail and reginald. as are, technically, all of the apocalypses as abigail created the marigold and reginald released it and created the broken timeline by allowing it to travel with him to the umbrellas world.

in s2 the apocalypse has no consequences because they prevent it. ray and sissy and harlan get to live. klaus' cult memeber get to live. they even punctuate this ending by showing that theyre moving on and progressing in their healing because ben is finally allowed to move on with his afterlife, and he is no longer kept there, stalling their recovery from his death. even five's integration into the family again in s1 showed growth and recovery and HOPE.

in s3 the world is saved, and luther is brought back to life and five and diegos limbs are returned. everyone who was erased/died like lilas family and reginald are brought back to life because there is HOPE.

if they wanted to sell a tragedy and sell it well then we needed to see consequences. allison should have died in s1. five should have given up and returned to the commission in s2. luther should have stayed dead in s3. their families should have died and caused them pain.

nothing about this ending followed through on the theme of hope.

there are ways to do it. and its been done well.

romeo and juliet works because they are remembered. star wars prequels are loved because its a doomed from the beginning story that ends with hope in the form of luke saving his fathers soul and returning the jedi to their true state - protectors and peace keepers. frodo and bilbo return from their journeys ill and grieving and forever changed, and they and the magic beings of middle earth have to pass on before their time because of the harm of their stories. macbeth dies in the end because his story was one of a hero becoming a villain.

theres so many good examples of tragic endings but s4 wasnt one of them.

[percheduphere]

LET'S TALK ABOUT WHO LOKI CHOOSES

I've previously discussed romantic tropes in the Loki series in my meta here. This meta supports the former by counting each of Loki's decisions with each of Loki's love interests (Sylvie and Mobius) and where those decisions occur in the progression of the overall story of S1 and S2 combined. The end of S1 is the midpoint of the whole story. Bear this in mind as I track how Loki's decision-making shifts. You can even choose to view Loki's decision-making with respect to Mobius as platonic if you want. It doesn't change the plot, count, or character development.

I have to give Sylvie attention and credit where it is due. To not do so would not only ignore her legitimate importance in the series and Loki's development, but it would also undermine my own credibility as an essayist. Feel free to comment, but here are my ground rules: no hate and no yucking other people's yum.

S1E1: Loki chooses himself. We could make the argument Loki chooses to trust Mobius here, but I don't think we see Loki start to like Mobius as a person until S1E2.

S1E2: Loki straddles between choosing himself and choosing to help Mobius because he actually wants to. It helps that the latter serves self-preservation. Loki most obviously chooses himself when he bullshits Mobius at the RenFaire. His choice is more gray when proposing the apocalypse theory. To be conservative, I won't count this in Mobius's favor. However, I feel fairly confident Loki chooses to help Mobius (1) sift through the possible apocalypses because of this genuine reaction:

Loki is starved for praise. He's a centuries-old god for goodness sakes.

When a third option presents itself at Roxxcart, Loki chooses himself and Sylvie (1).

S1E3: Loki chooses to: 1.) help Sylvie through "attempting diplomacy" with the widow (2), 2.) help Sylvie with his "shit plan" disguise (3), 3.) be vulnerable with Sylvie on the train (4), 4.) sing Sylvie a song (5), 5.) help Sylvie get to the arc (6).

S1E4: Loki chooses to comfort Sylvie by holding her hand; their feelings for each other trigger a giant Nexus Event (7). Loki chooses to tell Mobius the truth about the TVA; if he didn't care about Mobius, he would have withheld this information (2). Loki chooses to trust Mobius (3). Loki chooses to reciprocate Mobius’s feelings of friendship (4). Loki chooses, with Mobius, to find and rescue Sylvie (8). Loki chooses to combat Renslayer with Sylvie (9). Loki chooses to confront the Timekeepers with Sylvie and gets pruned (10).

S1E5: Loki chooses to share a blanket with Sylvie (11). Loki chooses to stay in the Void and follow Sylvie to the end of time, "Where you go, I go" (12). Loki chooses to hug Mobius (5). Loki chooses to trust Sylvie's insistence that he intrinsically knows how to enchant (13).

S1E6 (THE MIDPOINT): The confrontation with HWR is tricky. Loki chooses to slow down and think about the consequences because he's learned the value of slowing down and thinking from Mobius (6). Loki chooses to kiss Sylvie back (I realize this is debatable for many Lokius fans, but I'm not going to argue this; 14)

S2 NOTES: For the sake of my own sanity, I am not counting Loki's unconscious and conscious timeslipping. You can refer to the counts for that in my meta here. I will also not be counting the near-infinite number of loops Loki refuses to kill Sylvie for "the good of the multiverse."

S2E1: Loki chooses to seek out Mobius for help (7). Loki chooses to be vulnerable with Mobius in the hallway (8). Loki chooses to trust Mobius's judgment that they only have one shot at stopping the timeslipping (9).

S2E2: Loki chooses to protect Mobius from Brad (10). Loki chooses to help Mobius reverse-engineer Brad's TemPad (11). Loki chooses to comfort Mobius in the pie automat (12). Loki chooses to follow Mobius's intimidation plan for Brad (13). Loki chooses to convince Sylvie to join his and the TVA's cause (Sylvie declines #1; 15). Loki chooses to hold hands with Sylvie to combine their blast power (16). Loki chooses to follow Mobius back to the TVA (14). Loki chooses to ask Sylvie to stay and help (Sylvie declines #2; 17). Loki chooses to comfort Mobius in the Control Room (15).

S2E3: Loki chooses to humor Mobius's sightseeing (16). Loki chooses to try cracker jack (and hates it; 17). Loki chooses to prioritize the Loom per Mobius’s advisement (18). Loki chooses to give into Mobius's tandem bike request (19). Loki chooses to plead with Sylvie to spare Timely and asks for her help (NOTE: this is Loki's 3rd request; writers love the significance of threes and Sylvie turns Loki down all three times; 18).

S2E4: Loki chooses to defend Mobius in the Pie Automat (20). Loki chooses to compare (through implication) Thor's relationship with Jane with his relationship with Mobius (21). Loki chooses to use this same comparison to assure Sylvie that her mercy on Timely was an act of mercy for all people on all timelines (19).

S2E5: Loki chooses to look for Mobius in the Pie Automat (22). Loki chooses to look for Mobius in the Control Room (23). Loki chooses to recruit Mobius (24). Loki chooses to quote Mobius's "form and function" to Don (25), Loki chooses to help Mobius through the time door (26). Loki chooses to promise Don (Mobius) that he can return him to any point in time (27). Loki chooses to recruit Sylvie (20; she turns him down a 4th time). Loki chooses to argue with Sylvie that Mobius should have a choice (28). Loki chooses to listen to Sylvie that his friends are better off without the TVA (21). Loki chooses to let Don go for Mobius’s own good (29). Loki chooses to control timeslipping upon hearing Sylvie say "Do you think what makes a Loki a Loki is that we're destined to lose?" (22). Loki chooses to rewrite the story to save Sylvie and Mobius (23 / 30, respectively).

S2E6: Loki chooses to reenact all of Mobius's small gestures of kindness even though they cost precious time: he chooses to hold Victor's glasses (31), he chooses to compliment OB's "not to scale" model (32), he chooses to recite an abbreviated version of his and Mobius's bickering over "who's in the suit?" (33), he chooses to finish Mobius's joke about taking OB's job (34). He chooses to seek out Past Mobius for guidance and comfort (35). He chooses to shake Mobius's hand (36). He chooses to talk Sylvie out of killing HWR (24). He chooses to sacrifice himself to save Sylvie and Mobius (25 / 37, respectively). He chooses to listen (and watch?) to Mobius say, "Let time pass" (38).

Loki chooses Sylvie: 25

Loki chooses Mobius: 38

If I missed any decision points for either Sylvie or Mobius, let me know and I'll update the meta and counts accordingly.

Ultimately, Loki's sacrifice is for BOTH Mobius AND Sylvie. BOTH ships are important to the narrative and Loki. However, between the two of them, there is only one person who has consistently chosen Loki since S1E1, never rejected Loki and his requests for help, and who has, in turn, unknowingly been chosen by Loki in kind. Need a meta for Mobius’s decision-making? Here it is.

[monabee-draws]

There are too many things to say about Act 3 but one truth is that Episode 7 is the best episode in the season. And I mean in terms of a complete, narrative arc in one episode. There are plenty of absolutely perfect scenes and moments in other episodes (Isha's scene in ep 6, Jayce and Viktor's final reconcilliation) but wow was 7 the best written episode overall.

The Ekko/Heimer plot:

- Explores the beauty of a world entirely uncorrupted by the Hextech dream because this Powder chose to close the power away in a drawer.

- We watch Heimerdinger see the fruit of what his work might have done if he didn't dig his head in the sand for decades. It is blissful inaction and lack of compassion that kills. It is the maintenance of the status quo by those who benefit from it that kills. It is the entire false dream of Piltover that kills. And it can be changed, but only if those in power recognise their own hubris.

- Heimerdinger's death foreshadow's Jayce and Viktor's as well. He chooses to 'evaporate' into the Arcane so that the younger generation can try again, and make up for his mistakes. His brand of scientific omniscia did not work, and neither will jayvik's.

- The sister's tragedy persists in every universe. Vi and Jinx never get to be together no matter how perfect things could have gone. Vander warns our Vi that the kids will always follow her lead, and its on her head if things go wrong. Their Vi paid that price for them. She saved Mylo, Claggor, Vander and Powder. But there will always be a loss somewhere. There is no perfect world.

- Powder/Jinx was never going to be happy staying in Zaun and always needed to be free beyond other people's wants for her/their protectiveness/the cycle of violence. This foreshadows her imagined conversation with Silco and her flight at the end of episode 9 (she's alive I'm sorry.)

- Ekko learns to reconcile his vision of freedom with the imperfect nature of his own world (a very necessary lesson for a time traveler), a realisation that also foreshadow's future Viktor's realisation that perfection isn't good actually.

-> overall, this half teaches us Jayce's lesson about the importance and beauty of imperfection, of freedom of will, and going beyond the will of others. It's a perfect microcosm of the story as a whole, and expertly sets up every other character's choices in the end. Not to mention the literal time travel device ends up saving the world. That small imperfection - "That device cannot be" - is what sets everyone free.

For Jayce's story:

- Se see that Viktor's beautiful commune was always a lie, and all of the people he 'healed' were already dead at his hands. Hextech was never going to save anybody. The dream was tainted from the beginning.

- Jayce's resillience and agency grow and recover beyond what we see of him in season 1. He takes real accountability for his actions for the first time. The sheer spread of the consequences contradicts Jayce's insistence that they thought of every countermeasure. This entire sequence destabilises his (and Viktor's) images as gifted scientists whose intellect is equivalent to omniscience. They too are blinded by the same folly of Piltover's elite - their superiority is finally and thoroughly challenged in an indisputable way.

- His injury and leg brace level him with Viktor in a way that is crucial visual language for their later reconcilliation and Jayce's speech about accepting flaws in the finale. The fact that it is his Hextech hammer that breaks his leg is even more important - more evidence of the corruption of their dream, and of violence not being the correct solution.

- The scope of the dead world needed to be explored for us to understand how bad of an apocalypse we risk facing such that Zaun and Piltover cooperating could even be conceivable despite Caitlyn and Ambessa's fascist campaigns tearing the cities apart. The audience needs to have that disbelief suspended, and those scenes achieve that. In-story the cooperation between cities is still unbelievable, but this episode succeeds at making it understandable from a meta-perspective. We know what lies beneath the mask.

-> Overall, this half reinforces the themes of glorious imperfection, but also helps better set the stage for the audience to suspend their disbelief later on. And, it very importantly reminds us that no one character in Arcane has ever or will ever be 'correct' about the best path to move forward. It must always be a collaborative effort, and when we forget that, we forget ourselves, and we doom the world to a twisted vision.

[creedslove]

FAMILY BLISS 💘

Post outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: After dreaming so much about it, Joel finally finds out you are carrying his baby 🥺

(This can be read as a sequence of SLEEP BLISS 💤, SHOWER BLISS 🫧, MOONLIGHT BLISS 🌙, BABY BLISS 🍼 PART ONE AND TWO, CHOCOLATE CAKE BLISS 🎂 AND STORM BLISS ⛈️ or it can be read as a one shot)

Warnings: fluff, just fluff, pregnancy, pregnant reader, dad joel, fluff, fluff, fluff and fluff

A/N: I am back with a Bliss story because I missed Joel so much and it was about time we make this man happy!!! I know he's out of character but whatever, let's keep him happy! 🩷🩷🩷

1.1k words (short and sweet)

Joel's heart skipped a beat and his whole world stopped as he looked down at you, your scared, teary eyes, your voice not louder than a whisper as you had said two simple words. 

"I'm pregnant" 

Two words that made him feel dizzy and lightheaded for a moment, not being able to wrap his head around the fact you were indeed expecting a child. 

He had longed for that, at the same time he dreaded it, all the nights he spent buried deep inside of you, always hoping something would happen as he didn't pull out, but also being terrified that something would happen and that you two would have to face the consequences. 

Who mentally fit would actually bring a baby into the apocalypse? Who Would risk going through a pregnancy, labor, postpartum when the world went to hell? But the answer was simple: apparently you and him. 

You bit your lips so nervously, anxiety and fear were noticeable at any slight movement, you knew it could happen, it would probably happen, you weren't on birth control, Joel didn't pull out and lately he had been bringing it up the baby talk so many times, you didn't know until what extent he meant it or he was just daydreaming, but the reality hit you hard when you stopped getting your periods, your started feeling nauseous every single morning and suddenly all your jeans seemed tight. He had got you pregnant, and in a matter of months, a baby would come out of you, you were going to be a mom, and Joel would be a dad. 

A dad again. 

After almost a lifetime, Joel was gifted the opportunity of being a father, of having a child of his own, a child he could love, protect, and take care of. Even if he wasn't young anymore, even if he wasn't a good man anymore, no matter how many times you tried reassuring him, he wouldn't believe you, he was convinced he had become a bad person. 

But at the same time, he didn't believe bad people were rewarded good things, so either that meant he wasn't a bad person at all or that he didn't deserve you and the baby. But just as everything about your relationship, he was tired of denying himself a glimpse of happiness, he knew he wasn't worthy of you, and now he wasn't worthy of your baby, but he was selfish and he would keep the two of you to himself no matter what. 

He realized you expected something from him, a reaction, a comment, a smile or a frown. It killed you to see him standing still, an awkward silence filling the room.

Joel tried finding words to tell you, but he just couldn't, nothing would come out of his throat, so his hands just gripped your sides, pulling you to him, lifting you up and twirling you around, at the same time you squealed and wrapped your arms around his neck. 

You felt relief when he picked you up, still without saying a word, he kissed you. Your lips, your cheeks, the tip of your nose and your forehead. 

"Our baby" he finally whispered, resting his forehead against yours. His hands had a firm grip around your body, he just wouldn't let go of you, nor your baby, because the three of you were a family now and there was nothing in the world he loved more than that. 

He cupped your face with both hands, smiling and kissing you over and over "I love you, Y/N, I love your family" Joel said with a true happiness he hadn't felt in so long in his life. 

And over the following months he became the most protective partner in the world. If that was even possible, but he did and god, you couldn't have asked for a better man than Joel to have by your side. 

You were always so happy to welcome him home after patrol, always dinner ready for your man as he picked you up, kissed you and then lowered himself to your belly, kissing it and talking to the baby. 

You two still didn't know if you were having a little boy or a little girl, but it didn't matter, Joel was so excited he asked his brother to help him build the nursery. They would go with neutral colors and once baby Miller grew up you two could pick up the decoration you thought fit your baby the best. 

You were the most beautiful woman to Joel, no one looked as gorgeous as you did, the way your body got curvy with the pregnancy, your breasts looked filled up, it all awakened a hunger in him, he couldn't get enough of you, always touching you and making love to you, because yeah, now Joel also made love to you. It wasn't just fucking, it was also making love, and it felt incredible. 

Even when you were already heavily pregnant, feeling huge and unattractive, Joel was still there, to make you feel better and remind you how much he loved you. Your baby was growing strong in your womb and you were so anxious about it all, but every time you looked into his warm, brown eyes, everything was okay again.

He made sure to be by your side through everything, every single moment of your pregnancy, refusing to go on patrols when you reached the final weeks, not risking missing the birth of your beautiful miracle. And when time came and your water broke, he was also there. 

Joel was strong, ruthless and fearless, but he could swear you nearly crushed his bones when you held his hand. He watched you in awe as you screamed in pain and pushed as hard as you could in order to give birth to your baby. He could see you were exhausted, sweaty and a little pale, but you looked like a goddess to him. When your baby's first cries were heard in the room, the two of you were taken by such emotion. That tiny little thing placed in your arms was a baby girl. 

Joel had a daughter. Again. 

He looked at you and then at your beautiful little one, not believing how lucky he got even after everything that happened, how he had a reason to live after all this time he assumed his life had ended. 

He didn't even try to hide his emotion, the tears in his eyes as he carefully took the baby into his arms. His beautiful princess just whimpering softly before nuzzling his chest. 

You hadn't thought of a name yet, but the new baby Miller was already Joel's whole world and whenever he looked at you, there was nothing he wanted more than make you his wife, even if marriages weren't really a thing in the apocalypse.

_____

A/N: How could you say no to Joel asking you to have his babies???????????

[loosingmoreletters]

whats sctir?

anon I am sorry you’re gonna regret asking me this because currently it’s everything to me. so sctir is short for S-Classes that I raised. It’s a webnovel and comic currently being published! It’s technically speaking one of those dungeon crawler “oh suddenly dungeons appear all over the world and now people with magic powers fight in them to stop the apocalypse” stories but actually no, it’s not about that.

It’s about the most sweet perfect absolutely unhinged sibling relationship I’ve seen in ages. Sorry yunmeng bros, you got nothing on the Han brothers.

So we got our protagonist Han Yoojin! He’s the older brother and pretty much spent over a decade raising his five year younger brother Han Yoohyun because their parents were neglectful and then died. So my boy Yoojin dropped out of school to work and ensure his baby brother did not have to suffer.

Except sike! Dungeons appeared and Yoohyun awakened as one of the strongest people. And then pretty much immediately cut contact to his brother. Yoojin suffered as a consequence. You cannot make someone else the entire purpose of your life and then have them abandon you. He Goes Through it, eventually also awakens, but as the weakest rank. This continues for a while until Yoojin is caught in a dungeon where a much too strong monster shows up.

And who appears if not Yoohyun! Who dies for his brother if not Yoohyun?

Because turns out he cut contact to his brother because he didn’t want to endanger Yoojin! He kept an eye on his brother but didn’t interact with him because he was afraid to make him even more of a target! He loves his brother so much he decided leaving him was the onky way to keep him safe! Very much the thought process of a teenager who’s only ever had one person in his whole life to rely on! And then he dies in Yoojin’s arms! And Yoojin gets all these memories dropped on him!

Anyway, the monster dies and Yoojin gets the chance to travel back in time. So he does that to save his brother. Somehow this escalates into him adopting a bunch of murderous people who are all utterly obsessed with him.

King of that is Yoohyun who straight up has a “what if I fake your death and lock you up so you’re safe and can’t leave me” moment in canon (I am not paraphrasing here), but it’s fine because 5 minutes later they hug it out.

Anyway they are so special to me.

It’s a really fun story exploring dependencies as well as the power of emotionally available parenting. Please read it I need people to talk about it more.

[actual-changeling]

Welcome back to a meta post that was not supposed to exist, but I fucking love answering questions, so here we are.

i got an ask (the answer contains a tl;dr) about why I think Crowley has unstable relationship patterns, and the following will be a detailed look at why this is the case, how Aziraphale plays into it, and what it ultimately means for the two of them.

This won't be as unhinged as my usual analyses, so consider this a special edition of Alex's unhinged meta corner - now hinged.

As always, please remember that this is my personal interpretation—not a generalization—and that genuine questions are welcome, either here on the post or in my inbox!

Everything I will say is based on research I have done, books & studies, and many, many conversations with my therapist (and at points my psychiatrist too); just so you know I'm not making shit up as I go.

Now, in the context of trauma-related/based disorders, what exactly does it mean to have unstable relationship patterns, and how does it apply to Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship?

Canonically, heaven does not care about what Aziraphale is doing and they are not keeping an eye on him. We know this both from references in the script and their dialogue and what we see throughout the show as a whole. That "fear" of being found out should he openly commit to Crowley is, for the most part, self-fabricated.

Yes, hell would potentially punish him (that potentially is another long post), but that is not something Aziraphale gets to take and use against Crowley, and the fact that does it anyway to 'prove' that he is not behaving incorrectly is a big issue.

What that leaves them with is a very common and well-known relationship pattern that requires a lot of self-awareness, control, and work to break it.

Aziraphale and Crowley get closer, spend more time together, their relationship grows and the intimacy increases, resulting in their behaviour changing to reflect that. They go on more romantic-coded dates (e.g. 1827, whatever the fuck 1941 was), eat together more frequently, drink together and feel comfortable enough to get drunk drunk while in each other's company—which always carries the inherent risk of doing something 'forbidden' while their impulse control is lowered.

I think the second episode of season one is actually a great example for all of this. When they drive to Tadfield, there's a mutually respectful conversation, they tease each other, they bicker like an old married couple, and don't fall into blaming the other for the situation they're in. At the manor, they are openly flirting from the start, laughing about the paintball guns and blowing kisses to miracle away stains, and the wall slam scene honestly speaks for itself.

I wrote a detailed analysis of it right here, which contains the conclusion that the entire interaction was intentional and orchestrated by the two of them.

They are doing great, they're comfortable, intimate—both physically and emotionally—and their sides are already on their asses about the apocalypse, so why not commit to the relationship?

Because Aziraphale gets scared, scared of intimacy, scared of what it would mean for his life, scared of what it would force him to confront (his faith, mostly, which is another gigantic topic), scared of the changes it would bring to their relationship, scared of breaking out of the pattern they have been moving in since the very beginning.

So he pushes, hard. He insults and denies and hurts Crowley to get as far away from all of that as possible. Push & pull, no matter when, no matter why, it's always the same.

At this point you might be thinking Alex, this is all on Aziraphale, how is this also Crowley's unstable relationship pattern? The answer to that question can be roughly summarized in one sentence:

He does not punish or discourage Aziraphale's behaviour.

There are NEVER lasting—if any—negative consequences for Aziraphale when he forces them into the push/pull dynamic, when he insults him, denies their relationship, calls him evil, you name it. No matter what Aziraphale does, Crowley always forgives and forgets and comes back to him, essentially resetting their loop. That way there cannot be any progress because they're not moving a single inch in either direction that isn't carefully organized and controlled by Aziraphale.

Why does Crowley not confront him? Because he is scared too.

Now, THIS is the part where I explain why I said Crowley has unstable relationship patterns. It is important to understand that Aziraphale's kind of instability is only one possible manifestation, and that they are—broadly speaking—on opposite ends of the spectrum, which not only makes them incredibly compatible, but also makes them worse.

Crowley is terrified of losing Aziraphale permanently and being on his own. God rejected him, heaven rejected him, hell rejected him—his life as been one traumatic incident after the other with a strong focus on abandonment and neglect, especially from people he cared about.

He says himself that Aziraphale is his only friend, he doesn't have anyone or anything else. The bookshop is Aziraphale's anchor, but Crowley has nothing except the Bentley and whatever Aziraphale allows him to partake in. Hell can take his job, his flat, punish and torture him as they please, and make his life, well, hell.

With the Bentley only appearing in the early 20th century, for 99% of his life he had nothing except for Aziraphale, his best friend, the person he loves.

So what does he do? He clings, he circles him and tries to push his orbit just a tiny bit closer whenever there's a gap he can use, trying to solidify their relationship. Terrified of being abandoned again, he swallows and ignores everything and anything negative.

The final fifteen are the FIRST TIME that Aziraphale asked him for something and he said no without changing his mind later—and it was literally the worst case scenario, the one boundary he has that he is not willing to cross for him, literally the barest minimum.

Every other time he relented, gave in, apologized for something that wasn't his fault, have Aziraphale everything he wanted from Hamlet over shooting a gun at his face to giving him the Bentley. Crowley's primary objective is to do whatever it takes to avoid being abandoned, so whenever Aziraphale DOES push back and abandons him/says that he will, he panics. He panics even more when there is an outside source threatening Aziraphale's presence in his life.

Look at how frantic he is when he finds Aziraphale after the bandstand, trying to say whatever it takes to get him to come with him. He does the apology dance, gives in when it comes to Gabriel, and never reacts to Aziraphale in a way that would prompt him to re-think the choices he is making, let alone stop doing the push/pull.

His identity revolves around Aziraphale, his only relationship is with Aziraphale, he allows him to shape him to his liking as far as he can take and then some, he needs him to be happy, to enjoy himself, to live a life worth living—and Aziraphale needs him to be and do all of those things so he can keep up his behaviour.

They are dangerously co-dependent and just spiral deeper and deeper until they hit rock bottom and are forced to separate.

Look, I have BPD on top of everything else, I have been in a relationship with this exact pattern in Crowley's role, and it is fucking horrible. Absolutely unbearable. My ex-partner was like Aziraphale, pulling and pushing and pulling and pushing but on a daily basis, every few hours. No amount of talking or begging could get them to not behave in a way that would hurt me, and I was so emotionally tied to them and terrified of being alone that just like Crowley, I relented every. single. time. A year and a half and they never, not ONCE, apologized for anything. Ever. Not for hurting me, not for being an asshole, nothing.

The only way I got out was with a lot of therapy, support, and so much emotional work I was having several panic attacks a day because I was so fucking exhausted. Crowley and Aziraphale separating was the best thing that ever happened to their relationship.

Now, Aziraphale is facing negative consequences for his behaviour and is forced to examine himself and deal with all those fears causing him to behave the way he does. Crowley on the other hand is now forced to learn how to exist without Aziraphale to orbit around—he needs to develop an identity that exists outside of Aziraphale, so he can have boundaries and stick to them.

[ananke-xiii]

Another thing about the lameness of Apocalypse World being the result of "Mary's choice" is that it gives too much weight to Azazel's deal. That demon spent a lot of energy finding his "special children" and had never even noticed Mary before Dean's interference.

Interference that happened because Castiel made Dean travel through time and told him he had to "stop it" just to show him that it wasn't possible. Of course Cas didn't know, back then, about angels basically acting as and for Chuck by manipulating people, time and events for their own benefit. Still, you have to wonder after "In the beginning" whether Cas actually realizes what he has done.

Whether Mary deals with Azazel or not doesn't matter because of the bloodlines. The only difference is that if she said no an angel would fly in, resurrect John and wipe out their memories. Just like Zachariah and Michael tell Dean in S5.

The whole thing about demon blood as necessary in order to be Lucifer's vessel is just there for effect, I think, because neither Dean nor Adam need to be "primed" to be Michael's true vessel who, apparently, is even more powerful than Lucifer. Or, I don't know, to me that doesn't track at all but I might be missing something. I mean, it kinda shows how Kripke was tired of the "special children" plotline but, yk, the awkward, giant elephant in the room is that the foundation of the show is Sam and demon blood so... they had to justify it in some way, I think. But, again, I might miss something here.

The real importance of Azazel's deal is that it highlights Mary's complete loneliness in the world: in an instant her parent and her fiancé are dead. She deals because she bargains her otherwise horrible present (which is still horrible, tbh) for an unspecified future (which she craves. a lot. we've been told. multiple times that she wants to "escape" her current life). The tragedy is precisely that she doesn't know that she's specifically damning Sam's future in the process.

The real, real tragedy, however, is that she has no choice, whatever she does, SHE will always end up there. Because Mary and John are just "placeholders". The angels are basically just waiting for the demons to do the hard and dirty work while, they think, they just have to manipulate low ranking angels and get Dean's consent. Precisely the two things that fuck them in the end because Castiel rebels and Dean doesn't consent.

The other thing about Azazel's deal is that he doesn't need permission to enter Mary's house, that's just an excuse because of the "red tape". He has to bend the rules of the natural order and, in order to do so, he needs to make a deal. His deals are basically asking people to sign and date a blank sheet which is, obvs, a super manipulation, but, because people accept that, the deals "respect" the rules. It's absolutely unfair considering that this seems to apply only to humans while angels bend even the rules of time as they please with no consequences (well... actually, "what goes around comes around" and they will almost all be wiped out, lol).

The tragedy in the tragedy of the tragedy is that Dean understands that's about the souls. "In the beginning" makes a point of telling us that's not about that but I don't think it's true. Yes, Azazel won't come knocking in ten years with his hellhounds but he's bargaining a soul for a soul. Liddy's husband, if Azazel had managed to deal, wouldn't have died; Charlie's father would have lived; John would have died etc. So, in this episode at least because I don't remember the parents of the other special children tbh, Azazel is exchanging the life or death of 1 parent with the future of 1 of their children. At the end of the day, this is what the deal is about: it's a 1 for 1. This is also why he can't resurrect Mary's parents. Well, because he doesn't care, obviously, but because he doesn't have to: John's resurrection for Sam's future (which Mary has no idea about and neither does Azazel, he's also signing a blank sheet).

And this is so interesting because demons must follow the rules but angels don't because they are SO certain that they will end Time. They think they will put an end to everything and finally have their "paradise". When it doesn't come to pass, when the end doesn't arrive as promised, everybody has to face the consequences of their actions.