#THE FIRST PHOTO/GIF OH MY LORD THEY LOOK SO????

[cryptii-co]

^art from the official jovial playground discord server that i only joined like last night for some reason and not a year ago,, zoo wee mama!!! me if you even care!!!!!!!!!!!! face reveal!!!!!!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

[stupidphototricks]

Nobody's doing it like Otto Chriek. He's a vampire who has sworn off drinking b-word. He likes hanging out in cellars and hanging from chandeliers. Photography is his passion, and his passion is painful and comes with a high risk of discorporation. He experiments with dark light and philosophizes about the nature of time. He figures out how to create photo plates with hardly any effort. He invents the three-color printing process. He designs a method to auto-reanimate himself. He lays down his life for the team (but then picks it up again*).

*(yes this is a joke from the book, all credit to Sir Terry)

William caught Sacharissa's gaze. Her look said it all: We've hired him. Have we got the heart to fire him now? And don't make fun of his accent unless your Uberwaldean is really good, okay? -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

"Vell?" he said sternly. "Vot you all looking at? It is just a normal reaction, zat is all. I am vorking on it. Light in all itz forms is mine passion. Light is my canvas, shadows are my brush." "But strong light hurts you!" said Sacharissa. "It hurts vampires!" "Yes. It iss a bit of a bugger, but zere you go." -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

William vaguely remembered something someone had once said: the only thing more dangerous than a vampire crazed with blood lust was a vampire crazed with anything else. All the meticulous single-mindedness that went into finding young women who slept with their bedroom door open got channeled into some other interest, with merciless and painstaking efficiency. -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

"Good mornink," said Otto. "Do not movink, please, you are making a good pattern of light and shade." -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

"I cannot promise an absolutely vunderful job first cat out of zer bag, off course." -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

"Bodrozvachski zhaltziet! …oh, sorry, Miss Sacharissa! Zere has been a minor pothole on zer road to progress…" -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

"Zer philosopher Heidehollen tells us zat the universe is just a cold soup of time, all time mixed up together, and vot we call zer passage of time is merely qvantum fluctuations in zer fabric of space-time." -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

(Sounds kind of like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff...)

"It [dark light] is a light without time. Vot it illuminates, you see . . . is not necessarily now." -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

"You vanted color, I gif you color," said Otto sulkily. "You never said qvick." -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

A couple of bits that are more spoilerish under the cut:

That thing where Otto screams and (sometimes) turns to ash when he takes a picture is particularly funny if you imagine it from the point of view of the unwitting photographic subject, in this case Cheery Littlebottom:

"Ah, a vonderful framing effect!" said Otto, who'd been on the other side of the door. Click! William shut his eyes. WHOOMPH. "Ohhbuggerrrrr . . ." This time William caught the little piece of paper before it hit the ground. The dwarf stood open-mouthed. Then she closed her mouth. Then she opened it again to say: "What the hell just happened?" "I suppose you could call it a sort of industrial injury," said William. -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

And the scene where Otto goes up against William's father is just a thing of beauty.

"Ve have people like you back home," he said. "Zey are the ones that tell the mob vot to do. I come here to Ankh-Morpork, zey tell me things are different, but really it is alvays the same. Always zere are damn people like you! And now, vot shall I do with you?" [...] "You think I bite him? Shall I bite you, Mister Lordship? Vell, maybe not, because Villiam here thinks I am a good person." He pulled Lord de Worde close, so their faces were a few inches apart. "Now, maybe I have to ask myself, how good am I? Or maybe I just have to ask myself… am I better zan you?" He hesitated for a second or two, and then in a sudden movement jerked the man towards him. With great delicacy, he planted a kiss on Lord de Worde's forehead. Then he put the trembling man back down on the floor and patted him on the head. -- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

[kaddyssammlung]

I just read something that I wish I had not XD

Someone complaining about “the thirsting girls” in this fandom.

Even saying things like “they know about this stuff and they find it atrocious" (meaning the band). Oh dear. I do see things in a different way. Maybe just because I'm old or older. And also who told you how they feel about things?! If that is really the case then who are you?!

So...why did I decide to open a new tumblr last year?!

I've been lurking under the #sleep token for a long time. There were so many cool things and I wanted to contribute. One of the first things that I saw when I came looking for Sleep Token content when I came here first was all the “gay stuff”. You know what I mean. Vessel on top of iii. I was a bit confused first but then I thought things like...they are on stage and it's a show and also I don't know what their sexual orientation is.

Apart from that I actually was more interested in the lyrics and how others see the lyrics or what they read into them. I was very obsessed with the lyrics and the lore. With all the writing that I did that changed. My obsession faded. That's why I have this blog and also for personal reasons. I always like writing blog. That's something that I started in 2004 btw.

I started playing a round a little and wanted to know what you guys like meaning what gets more hearts or rebloggs and what does not. What I mean by this is, making gifs and finding pictures.

Well...just look at the most liked posts under #sleep token there is a lot of “thirsting”. But not exclusively. When I think about my post under that hashtag that has the most notifications on it then you could see this as thirsting?! Which I don't. It's the one where Vessel tries to draw something on his belly. It looked weird the first time that I saw it but then a few days later when more videos were released I could see that he was just trying to draw a heart. I did not know that.

But many other things I would call “playing with the audience and their expectations”. I mean Vessel on top of iii and the way that he grabs him. I can't help but laugh. I find this very entertaining.

Of course we make videos and gifs out of this or use it as inspiration to write fics.

I've been on stage many times. I danced when I was in school and I sang in the choir. It's nice to be on a stage and present yourself a certain way. Lord knows what I would to with that mic stand. Try to pole dance probably because of all the years that I danced.

Vessel was breathing heavily at the last festival they played while doing something to that mic stand...not me. I see nothing wrong that. It's called a performance.

A few years back I saw Marylin Manson live at a festival. I was waiting for Korn and not for him. He took someone's phone, made a few photos with it and then threw it backstage. That's a performance also. Strange example....I know...that was in 2007 or something like that.

They kind of feed us these things and we make something out of them.

That's how I see this.

And also, no I don't know if anyone is reading in here. I don't care. That's my blog and I write what I feel like.

I don't mean to attack anyone. We all view the world in a different way. I just felt like I had to say something.

And also I feel like there is a bigger "problem" behind all of this...that "problem" has something to do with society itself and what we are taught as women when it comes to sexuality. But that's a different topic.

I don't have a problem with "thirsting" in general. Some things I do find disrespectful though.

That's all...I guess.....

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Im 15 so I dont really get some of the millennial slang but I do have a question…….

What was the most popular like songs during that time yk? Like what was EVERYONE listening to and like what was something that everyone did (dressed, makeup, hair, music, shows) all that

Was it cool fr to live like that?

Not related to the blog, but it kinda is since he is 36 so like he was born during that time yk

Also was AHS a big thing when it came out like everyone and they mama was watching that?? Mbn fr💯💯

hello youth, sit back and let me tell you about what life was like starting way back in 2012 when thee evan peters became an important figure in my and many others lives! i mean, it was very cool to me, but maybe that's how everyone remembers their youth because i was 20 years old.

tumblr was the social media platform of choice for cool kids. not that we didn't love twitter and instagram, but tumblr was where you went for your fandom fix and to chat with like-minded folks. and to post and reblog many-a gif sets and graphics. somewhere on a hard drive are thousands of gif sets and graphics i created in my heyday as a successful criminal minds blogger and matthew gray gubler devotee. but i digress..

in 2012 rihanna was still making music, katy perry was enjoying relevancy, one direction was taking off, plenty of other still familiar names were putting out music at the peak of their success.. but if you spent time on tumblr you were sure to find plenty of listeners of lana del rey, frank ocean, the weeknd, marina and the diamonds, the 1975, arctic monkeys, and lorde to name a few.

in 2012 fashionistas everywhere committed to wearing awful peplum tops and dresses. not me, but i'll never forgive this. black, sometimes ripped skinny jeans, graphic print statement tees, big wedge sneakers, gaudy prints like chevron and nautical themed clothing and accessories.. oh, and these particular platforms that had women everywhere in a chokehold:

and good luck finding photos of any woman from this time-frame whose eyebrows did not look like this, because anastasia beverly hills popularized pencils and pomades to allow you to channel your inner cara delevingne (very relevant)

yes, bold make-up was in. smoky eyes and ''beachy waves'' in your hair! what a time to be alive.

and yes: AHS was quite a big deal when it first came out. it was hard to escape people talking about it online. and for several years after it debuted.. if AHS, and specifically evan peters, had not been so inescapable on this app, i would never have ''discovered'' him.

oh to be alive in 2012, listening to channel orange and feverishly refreshing tumblr for more gif sets of evan peters.

[zumpietoo]

Racist Has a Breakdown...

Okay, yes, lets!

Disclaimer: at least you admit it, but you don’t really, because you still continue to endlessly push your fully disproven, failed narrative and are, nonetheless, endlessly pompous and pretentious about everythingggg.....Also, this is you having a fullbore nervous breakdown...

Okay, so let’s see how far off you are:

-Plaiderdale is paid for by Netflix. Additionally, it still has merchandising, created an albeit brief, significant brand identity for the show....

-They were a show that went seven seasons (and even then are getting a full or almost full final season), which is a success by ANY metric. There is NO SYNDICATION....cuz A) again, Netflix and B) Syndication is becoming a thing of the past.....it cracks me up that you fail to grasp how different TeeVee is now....if it even IS TeeVee as we know it anymoar....

The contracts were all ending (actually another reason it was likely cancelled), plus now you’re effectively saying it it IS profitable?

Dude, go look at what the “CW” is becoming, hmmm? Everything’s being cancelled some of the new shows that performed well aren’t gonna be renewed, either....god, your willfull ignorance and stupidity is appalling.

PLUS.......WTF does this have to do with Jabi kissing in the promo? And your consequent butthurt over that?

-Errmmm.....nope, that’s again, you grasping at straws....and, actually, yes, they HAVE reflected the show. Do they troll sometimes? Sure, but, fact is, yes, there WILL be a Jabi TLK kiss happening, with both of them looking at each other adoringly....

WTF is her obsession with the photo shoot? NO show does a “photo shoot” for its final season.....plus how exactly is THAT gonna boost ratings, again?

Actually, they do and it’s really simple to have a low level staffer pick out 3 clips, based on the imagery/recognition they’re seeking, you fucking dumbass.

PLUS this was the Spring NETWORK promo, so yeah, they’d be clear on what they want, etc.....and what happened to the NETWORK clamping down HARDDDD cuz they want ratings (when it doesn’t matter anymoar)?

Also, even if this were true, that would be like an ad agency failing to understand the product they’re pitching to a client....and they’d need to do so and the client would need to approve it. I love how she thinks some boiler room full of monkees just throws up the first 3 images for each show and the CW, who will be airing it, just let it rip....

Wait, I thought she said “everybody haaatttessss Jabi”???? How could they thusly pique anybody’s interest? Similarly, how does Douchie gremlining on a bike/Pussy driving out of Pop’s parking lot (slowly and responsibly) get the world hot and bothered?

Ever think it’s moar of setting the mood, with Jabi, interestingly, framed as THE couple????

Yes, it does look “dreamlike” and is entirely possible.....THAT would go to MY theory, noooo?? Oh orrr it’s 50s Jug dreeming of Tabi and pining for her...hmmmm...again, all not good for Jizzy....

Erinn has, but yeah, keep on with that stupid....

Oh good lord, “manipulation” from somebody desperately seeking to gaslight others....

Ummm.....again, please tell me what’s been in the promos that hasn’t come to pass?

Also, now she’s Bagelswannering....I remember how they ALL insisted a clip of CS inserted with all canon couples (that, admittedly, wasn’t entirely romantic at the time, but the heavy foreshadowing of where that slooooowwwwwww burrrnnn would be heading) for a V-Day promo to the song Timeless, had them all scoffing endlessly about how stupid we were....

Annnddddd.....we all know, etc....

Oh yes, she sure proved her endless, pointless desperate restating of her disproven manipulations with the Seth gif, huh???

Duuuuddee....you are unquestionably in for “JT part two”. And endgame!!!

1. When it will be even shittier for you?

2. I sent you a trolling anon. You did not answer. Mah heart is broken. And you are a liar.

Well, at least her ridiculous lies talked down Izzy.....meanwhile, “declare victory”????

A) Duuuddeee.....it’s a fucking TeeVee show

B) But what would I do if I didn’t have your batshit whining?

C) Nope

Umm....y’all insisted the Jizzy kiss was you guys winning, and clung to it endlessly, despite Cole interviewing, “nope” for the rest of the season, dude....

Plus, the VD kiss? Trolling the BAV triangle to come....

But funny how you’re using instances of you not getting your way to “prove” your point, huh?

Once again, doesn’t change Jabi presented as this TL couple......if anything, again, then you’re saying you’re fine with Jizzy where Jug’s memory wiped/it’s an AU and neither really loves the other? How awesome for you. I thought, again, that doesn’t count?

Oh yeah, Snorty.....Jug then explained he was simply a fucking mess and not yet ready, made a pass at her five seconds later, admitted he had deep feelings after all five seconds after that ANNNDDD.....once he’d cleaned up, promptly informed her she was his, it wasn’t open for debate, made sweet love and they’ve been together and in love ever since......

Yeah, that sure turned out horribly for us Jabi shippers, huh???

Oh and how did Tabs cucking Jug with the ASL teacher work for you??? Oh, right, fanfic, cuz you’re a fucking idiot...

[ibelongto-tylergalpin]

OH MY GOSH can I maybe possibly request Steve x Eddie’s sister/sibling!reader I’m so excited you wrote for him like- love u byeeee

YES. YES. YES YES YES FINALLY LORD YES IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS OH LORD YES ILY ILY ILY YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW WIDE MY SMILE IS RN ILYSM IM SO HAPPY RN

*One of the gayest photos ive seen but we'll talk abt that another time*

*Nother lil side note: I went to get water and when I came back this gif was on my screen AND I SQUEALED AND GIGGLED. THATS WHAT KINDA HOLD THIS MAN HAS OVER ME. ok imma stfu and let you get to reading* *LAST ONE I SWEAR: Listened to this while writing:) .... and this :)))*

~OKAY SO YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GIDDY I AM RN CAUSE STEVE HARRINGTON CAN SMASH MY FACE IN WITH HIS BAT anyways :)

~Yall actually met before the Vecna stuff

~You're in your senior year for the FIRST time unlike your idiot brother Eddie

~You're not in hellfire but you do spend A LOT of time with them

~Literally the mom of the group

~You have other friends that you'd gladly hang out with but you stay with them because the minute you leave one of them is gonna end up somehow missing a finger

~They need adult supervision at all times and youre the best they got even though Eddie is literally a year older than you

~You were the one who convinced Eddie to invite Mike, Dustin, and Lucas to Hellfire (He didn't wanna at first cause they were "shrimpy freshmen" his words not mine)

~Dustin excitedly ranting to Steve about the group when he first joined

~"He's so cool! He gets on the table n shit and doesnt give a shit about what people say"

~"Dude I don't wanna hear about Eddie 'The Freak' Munson"

~"He has a sister y'know... she's 18. She's pretty awesome too. And single"

~"Well that's great for her" (mf started zoning dustin out at this point poor dustybun)

~Dustin thinks you'd be so fucking perfect for Steve so whenever he sees him he always always always finds some way to work your name into the conversation

~He starts doing the same to you poor boy is set on this ship and will not give up till it sails

~Eddie gets so pissed whenever Dustin brings up Steve. His mood noticeably changes but Dustin, being Dustin, can't take the hint

~You cant be mean to Dustin cause you find him so sweet and adorable so you just endure it even though you have really no intention of talking to Steve 'The Hair' Harrington

~Literally 3-4 months had passed and Dustin was still talking you up to Steve and vice versa even though the two of you still hadn't met

~The Hellfire club was hanging out at the trailer park and when everyone was leaving you heard Dustin say he was gonna go to the video store so you decided to drive him cause you borrowed Robin's history notes cause you ditched class

~You took Eddies keys while he was using the restroom and made sure to leave before he could yell at you for stealing his car again

~You went inside with Dustin and he introduced you and Steve

~"Steve! This is Y/n"

~He gave you a small nod, unaware of what to do. You tried to match his awkward energy so you just gave him a small wave

`"I'm Steve"

~"I know. Little Dustin over here doesn't shut up about you"

~Dustin has the widest smile on his face seeing the two of you meet for the first time but it immediately drops when he hears you call him "little"

~"Hey what the hell"

~"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it 'Dustybun'" you said as you messed with his hair

~"I've told you already! Only Suzie calls me that!"

~You start laughing at Dustins face cause he looks so pissed and oml when Steve hears you laugh his heart MELTS

~He loves the way you treat Dustin

~Its hasn't even been a minute but mans is already down bad for you

~"Anyways, is Robin here? I borrowed her history notes and I'm just here to drop off little dustybun and give her her notes back"

~"Stop calling me Dustybun!"

~"Uh she's not here yet but she should be in about 15 minutes"

~"Oh alright. Can you give these to her when she gets here then?"

~"I mean or you could stay? Y'know, make sure she gets the notes safely. Plus it'd give me a chance to get to know you better..."

~THE WAYS DUSTINS FACE LIGHTS UP I SWEAR

~You stand there for a second contemplating it. You were curious to get to know more about Steve Harrington, especially since Dustin was constantly talking about him. Eddie will kill you if you have his car for too long without asking though, which was even more of a reason to stay. God you love pissing your brother off.

~"Well what do you wanna know Harrington?"

~The two hit it off surprisingly well

~So well in fact that even after you give Robin her notes, you stay longer

~The moment you leave Steve's decided that he's in love. Like thats that. His search for the right woman is over. He's found you and he's gonna try his damnedest to win your heart

~When you got back to your trailer Eddie was fuming

~He was sitting on the couch with his arms crossed and his leg bouncing up and down while staring at the door

~"My my, what ever is wrong dear brother?"

~"What have I told you about taking my car without permission?!?"

~"Relax I was only gone for 30 minutes"

~"YOU WERE GONE FOR 2 HOURS! What were you even doing?! I thought you were just dropping off Henderson!"

~"I stayed a bit longer to talk to Steve"

"Harrington?!"

~"No Eddie, fucking Steven Spielberg"

~Steve constantly bugging Dustin about you and asking him random ass questions about you

~Dustin deciding to be his wing-man for once, he's always asking you to drive him to the video store

~Constantly stealing Eddies car to take Dustin

~Every time you drop him off, you always stay for an extra hour just talking with Steve

~He tries to flirt with you but he gets so nervous when you're around he becomes Scoops Ahoy Steve again

~Dustin and Robin literally face palming whenever he says something stupid but you finding his failed flirting attempts absolutely adorable

~Eddie constantly asking you what's up with you and Harrington

~Telling him you're just friends but him continuing to nag you

~Eventually having enough with your brother bs so you throw a pillow in his face

~Him throwing one back

~Munson sibling pillow fights>>>>>>

~3 months of you and Steve talking at the video store and he still hasn't asked you out

~Robin and Dustin taking bets on when he'll finally confess

~You constantly go to the video store to talk with Steve, with or without Dustin

~One day you were sitting on the counter reading your book while Steve worked and all of a sudden he just kinda blurted the words "movie theater"

~You looked up from your book to see him looking at you

~"Huh?"

~"I, uh, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the movies with me"

~"Only on one condition"

~Yeah..?"

~"You let me pick the movie"

~Steve regained his confidence and the two of you started going back and forth as you always did, laughing and talking

~The two of you decided that Steve would pick you up at 7 and you would surprise him with the movie

~"Wait so let me get this straight. Steve 'The Hair' Harrington... asked you out on a date?"

~"Jeez don't sound so surprised. Your little sister is a very desirable woman"

~"Yeah, sure" Eddie said as he scoffed and rolled his eyes

~"Anyways, it's not a date. At least I don't think it is"

~"You've been hanging out with Steve Harrington every day for the past 3 months. It's a date."

~"Go away and let me finish getting ready please"

~"Sure. Meanwhile I can dust off my 'Protective Older Brother' speech"

~"I will hurt you. Get out. Now."

~"What exactly are your intentions with my little sister, Harrington?" Eddie said, mockingly

~"Out!" You said as you threw a pillow with him and he ran out cackling

~At almost 7 exactly, you saw Steve's car pull up to the trailer and you checked yourself really quickly in the mirror before going to meet him at the door, but much to your dismay, Eddie opened the door before you could get there

~"Hey, uh, is Y/n ready?"

~You could HEAR the nervousness in his voice

~"Depends, who's asking?"

~"Eddie, don't be an ass"

~"Sorry Y/n/n, it's habit by now" (God I can just picture his cocky ass smile)

~You roll your eyes before greeting Steve

~"Hey Harrington"

~"H-hey. You ready, gorgeous?"

~Meanwhile Eddie is gagging his soul out behind you after hearing that

~Idk bout yall but I would just combust right then and there... anyways :)

~Steve holds out his hand to help you down the steps and you gladly take it

~As the two of you walk towards his car you turn around to see Eddie still standing in the doorway and you silently jump up and down to show him your excitement

~Has the cutest big brother smile on his face after seeing how excited you are

~Steve opens the door for you and Eddie shouts to the two of you

~"Hey! You better keep your hands to yourself Harrington!"

~You flip him off through the open car window

~No cause why can I picture Steve almost FALLING when trying to walk around the front of the car to get to the drivers seat. You can't tell me you don't see it. Argue with the wall. I do every day... lets not get into my psychological issues and get back to the story :D

~As the two of you are driving there you sing along to the songs on the radio together

~"So what movie are we watching?"

~"You'll see when we get there"

~You guys finally get there and walk up to the ticket booth

~"Two tickets for Clue please"

~"Really?! Clue?! Haven't you seen that movie 4 times already?"

~"5 times actually. Plus you've never seen it! You cant go through your life never having watched Clue!"

~You reach into your pocket to pull out your wallet and Steve sees

~"Put that away. I'm paying"

~"No you're not. I chose the movie, I pay"

"You may have chosen the movie, but I'm the one who asked you out"

~"You barely asked me! All you said was 'movie theaters'"

"I'm paying!"

~"No you're not!"

~As you tried to pull your money out, Steve snatched your wallet out of you hand and you stared at him in disbelief

~"Uh! Gimme my wallet back Harrington!"

~"No! You'll get it back after our date."

~"Oh so this is a date?" you asked teasingly

"Oh, uh, I mean if you want it to be"

~The way his vibe quickly deteriorated after realizing what he said

~"Okay fine. I'll get my wallet back after our date"

~Ion wanna be cheesy, but imma be cheesy cause its Steve motherfucking Harrington

~The classic both hands in the popcorn bucket thing happened (if you dont know what that is, its this thing in movies and shows when the love interests go to the movies and reach for popcorn and there hands touch and they get all awkward and flustered)

~Steve did the stupid thing where he slowly inched his hand closer to yours so he could eventually hold it but you could clearly see what he was trying to do, so you moved his drink onto the ground, lifted the arm rest, and lifted his arm around your shoulder and laid against his chest

~He was flustered as hell. He was not expecting you to do that

~After the movie he drove you home and you could tell he was nervous the entire way

~He walked you to the door but you dragged him to the back of the trailer where there was no window cause you knew Eddie would watch if you guys said goodbye in front of the door

~Before he could comprehend what you were doing, you put your hands around his neck and pulled him down and kissed him

~He was shocked at first but eventually gave into the kiss and wrapped his hands around your waist as he pulled you a lot closer to him (rail me rn like pretty please)

~Once you guys broke apart for air, he rested his forehead against yours

~"I've wanted to do that since the moment I laid eyes on you"

~The two of you stayed there like that for about a minute or two

~You kissed him one more time, this time reaching into his pocket and taking your wallet back

~You gave him one last peck on the lips before running inside

~When he got to his car he was fist-bumping the air and freaking out stop he was so excited

~You walked into the trailer and it was pitch black

~When you turned the lights on you saw Eddie and your uncle sitting on the couch with their arms crossed as they stared at you, which obviously made you jump

~"What the hell are you guys doing?! Why are you sitting there like a couple of weirdos?! God!"

~"We're the ones asking the questions here missy!" Eddie yelled

~Clearly they were both fucking with you since they loved to poke fun at you all the time

"Did he try anything?" Your uncle asked looking more serious that Eddie did

~You sighed and rolled your eyes

~"No he didn't try anything Uncle Wayne"

~"Woooow! So what, does he think you're not good enough?!" Eddie yelled once again

~"What?! No! I mean we kissed a few time but-"

~"You what?! You shouldn't be kissing anyone till your at least 30!" Eddie screamed as he stood up

~"I'm going to sleep. You two make me wanna off myself"

~Your uncle laughed and Eddie walked over to you before you could walk away and he pulled you into a hug

~"You seem happier since he came around. I'm happy for you"

~You wrapped your arms around him, smiling at your older brothers kind words when all of a sudden his grip tightened

~"Let him know that I said if he ever hurts you there is not a place on earth he can hide. I will hunt him down for the rest of my life if I have to and I will make sure he suffers."

~"Alright get off me" you said as you shoved him away in disgust and your uncle laughed in the background

~"Night baby sis!"

~You didn't say anything and just flipped him off as you walked to go to bed

~The next day you walked into the video store and the minute Steve saw you he ran towards you and pulled you into a kiss

~Robin and Dustin hadn't known about your guys date so they were very surprised

~"Fork it over Robin" Dustin said as he stuck his hand out

~"You guys couldn't wait one more month?!" Robin said as she gave Dustin 10 bucks

~Steve driving you to and from school

~You and Robin bullying him in the car

~Friday night date nights

~Lots and lots of cuddles

~PDA PDA PDA

~Trying so hard to get Eddie and Steve to get along but they just won't budge

~Steve meeting your uncle and winning him over

~Steves parents absolutely adoring you

~Steves mom thinks you're "a nice break from all those trashy girls he used to date"

~PDA

~Going on late night drives cause why not

~Hellfire going crazy when Dustin brags about the fact that you and Steve are dating

~"You're actually dating Steve Harrington?!"

~Eddie yelling shut up the way he did in episode 1 when everyone gets rowdy

~He hates hearing about your relationship mainly because your his baby sister, but the fact that he doesn't like Steve is a factor

~P D A he is all about PDA

~You guys never actually had the whole Bf/gf talk

~It just kinda slipped out on accident and he didn't even notice

~Your first "I love you" was when he got attacked in the upside down and you jumped in after him

~Nancy getting a bit weird with you because youre dating her ex, but she sees how good you are for him and the two of you actually hit it off

~Dance parties with him are a must

~He takes you to skull rock but its all cute n stuff he like laid blankets down and had snacks and you guys just laid there cuddling while staring at the stars and talking

~Thats actually when he let "girlfriend" slip out

~"You're the best girlfriend anyone could every ask for, y'know that right?"

~Ended up accidentally falling asleep there and Eddie freaking out when you got home cause he was worried

~I cannot stress this enough but I'll try. Public Display of Affection !!!!

~On your guys night drives you sit on his lap in the backseat and you guys have fallen asleep there multiple times

~One time you guys even fell asleep after you were parked in front of the trailer and you didnt feel like going in yet

~Basically hes just one of the best boyfriends you could ever have and now i wanna cry cause I know I'll never have this

[not-a-perfect-metaphor]

Do you know about the "I don't kiss Jensen in public" quote. Is it true?

And this..

I've found the pic with story

Are these true?

Okay, so first the bad news -

That particular story (with the photo) is unfortunately NOT real.

And you know it always strikes me as kind of funny in a way when people manufacture J2 content of the husbanding variety.

Because…why?? 😜

There is literally no need when our cup already runneth over with a trillion of their actual, real-life husbanding moments, which is also the reason why people often can’t even tell when something like that specific interaction is fiction.

It’s not exactly like it’s hard to believe!

Especially when things like Jared saying “I don’t kiss Jensen….in public” actually DO happen…all the frickin’ time.

^^ And yes, by the way, he absolutely did say that.

Also, good lord, the sheer number of examples I could include of comparable non-fiction J2 moments…

I guess I’ll just pick a few personal favorites.

1. This beautiful ‘Jensen filming Jared’ thing (also in posting the video, Jensen referred to Jared as “my boy,” which EXCUSE ME, SIR).

What I love most about it -

A. Jared fixing Jensen with that intense expression in the first GIF.

Like…hello. That is some fucking…something. Mhm.

B. Jared not only moving in to kiss the camera but then sliding right on up at the end like the kiss is landing on Jensen’s face.

2. OKAY and how about THIS FUCKING THING:

Not even a TINY BIT photoshopped.

Here’s the GIF I took the still shots from:

Followed by:

Jared straight up forgot for a split second that he couldn’t just kiss his husband on the mouth like he does in private.

He saved it…but BARELY.

*Edit: oh look, I totally forgot that second still shot is my header pic. As it should be.*

Jesus christ and I’m already about to be out of image space. Ugh.

But there was ALSO the time Jared and Jensen ‘made out’ with masks on.

And WAIT. My last available image has to be this wooing days kissy kiss via Jared:

And I guess I’m stopping there.

But I think (I hope) I made my point.

*cough-HUSBANDS-cough*

[zyalahmiscfandom]

An Unexpected Trip pt2: Dhawan!Master x f!Reader

AN: Couldn’t find an appropriate GIF so.... ANyway. Part two!! Whooo. Honestly I scrapped the first draft of this so this may not be the best part. 

FIRST

MASTERLIST

You groaned painfully as you roused from you forced sleep, your head felt like it was splitting in two. Confused you opened your eyes, harsh florescent lights flickered above you causing you to flinch and try to cover your sore eyes, only to find your hands cuffed together.

‘Handcuffs?’ You thought groggily, reality slowly came back to you. Ace and Graham in the alley. Graham had seemed so apologetic, yet that hadn’t stopped the jack booted thugs from trying to arrest you. 

UNIT that’s what Ace had called them. She had said she had no choice, that the Master had to be stopped. Yada yada yada.

You slowly shuffled to sit up on what appeared to be an ikea chaise lounge, in what appeared to be a regular if not minimalistic office building overlooking the London skyline. Quickly your eyes darted around the room, looking for a quick exit, getting away was your first priority, contacting the Master and getting the handcuffs off were a close second and third, but your escape plans were halted when you spied the group of individuals whispering to each other of the other side of the room.  

“Ahem,” You coughed sarcastically, “Excuse me?” The group turned around, you recognised Ace but none of the others.

“Ah Miss Y/N L/N, you’re awake.” A smart looking blonde woman walked over to you followed by Ace and a UNIT guard. “My name is Kate Lethbridge-Stewart and I have some questions I’d like to ask you.”

“How’d you know my name?” You eyed them suspiciously.

“You’re phone,” Kate stated matter-of-factly, “UNIT has a way of…”

“YOU HACKED MY PHONE!” You practically screeched. Your mind was caught between wondering if they’d gotten all of your family’s personal details or gone through your VERY personal photos you’d taken of your trips with the Master including some very couply looking selfies with your Time-Lord. Photos he’d been adversed to, photos he’d claimed could be used against him by his enemies. Photo’s of him genuinely, happily smiling.  

“Y/N, we’re just trying to help.” Ace stepped in trying to calm your fired up nerves.

“Oh yeah, cause handcuffs and hacking are good guy moves.” You snapped pissed beyond all measures.  

“Y/N,” Ace started, but you didn’t care.

“Where’s Graham? He cut and run after ratting me out?” You cut her off. You figured he’d told Ace who you travelled with after you’d run off, he was probably trying to ‘help’ as well. You were officially over people trying to ‘help’ you escape your life with the Master.

“You have no idea who your dealing with, do you?” Kate was trying to stay level headed, but she couldn’t hide her true feelings from her eyes.

“Y/N the Master is not a friend to you. Trust us, if he’s here on Earth it is not good. For anyone.” Ace finished.

“Why?” You sneered, “Because he’s tried enslaving or destroying humanity several times over?”

Ace and Kate took a step back from you, seemingly confused at your knowledge of the Masters crimes.

“Let me guess, from your perspective he’s just recently committed these crimes?”

“He did.” Kate confirmed, cautious.

“Well not for him or for me. Time is relative after all.” You smirked.

“If you’re trying to tell me the Master is here on amicable terms Y/N, you’re more naive than I thought.” A twinge of annoyance passed over Kate’s face, you could tell your noncompliance was grating her a little, and a part of you liked that.

“Or I know something about the Master that you don’t.” You sassed back, knowing that both Kate and Ace would jump to negative conclusions.

“Which is?” Ace asked.

“That he’s a good man.” You stared straight into Ace’s eyes daring her to blink first. Kate scoffed loudly as she rolled her eyes at your statement. A tense stand off between the three of you commenced, seconds seemed to become hours as you dared them to try and refute your statement. If there was one thing you could do, it was defend the Master with your whole heart.

“Did someone call for a Doctor!” Suddenly bursting into the room was an overzealous Doctor followed closely by Graham and Yaz, who gave the blonde Time-Lord awkward embarrassed looks. “That didn’t work did it?”

“No.” Yaz smiled sweetly.

“Well it was worth a try.” The Doctor quickly shook off the awkward attempt at a catchphrase before coming to rest in the centre of the room, between you and your UNIT captors. “So Graham says you’re in trouble.”

“You could say that.” You raised your cuffed hands to the woman. “Graham thought you ran away.”

“I’m really sorry Y/N, I didn’t know what else to do.” The older gentleman seemed truly remorseful, and unlike the other people in the room, you where capable of forgiveness, or at least not holding a grudge.  

“You could have just let me be.”

Graham nodded solemnly as the Doctor reached into her pocket pulling a strange silver device out of it and placing the crystal end to your cuffs.

“Professor are you sure that’s wise?” Ace questioned.

“Y/N’s not gonna hurt anyone, right Y/N.”

“Not without good reason.” You deadpanned.

“Yeah not helping.” The Doctor chastised whereas you knew the Master would have smiled at your response. A loud buzzing rang out, and soon you felt the hard metal of the handcuffs unlock and fall away.

Relieved you stood stretching and rubbing the bruised and raw flesh of your wrists.

“Thank you. Glad someone has some sense around here.”

“What happened?” Yaz asked concerned. “Why’d UNIT arrest you? Did the Master do something bad?”

“I dunno Yaz, I was walking down the street alone,” You emphasised pointingly. “And then boom, prison cell.”

“Graham? Is that true.” Yaz enquired.

“Well, yes. Kind of.” Graham sheepishly answered.

“You said she’s travels with the Master.” Ace interrupted.

“Well she does.” Graham rambled, but you had stopped paying attention to them.

“Does he know you’re here?” The Doctor asked with a hushed tone.

“I dunno, it depends on how long I’ve been here.” You admitted.

“Why?” Kate interrupted. “Is there a countdown we need to be aware of?” Once again you glared at the older woman.

“For the last time, there is no conspiracy!” You rubbed your eyes, flinching when you applied pressure to the place the UNIT soldier had knocked you out.

“Then WHY are you here?!” Kate demanded exasperated.

“TO SEE PHANTOM OF THE BLOODY OPERA!” You yelled back, your admittance stunning everyone in the room. Collecting yourself a little, you took a deep breath.

“Listen, I’m sorry about whatever happened in the past between you and the Master, truly, truly I am. But he’s not the same man.” You pleaded.

“He regenerated?” Ace asked.

“Well no but,” You started.

“Then how can we trust you?” Kate interrupted.

“You have my phone, you’ve seen the pictures.” You sadly smiled.

“They could have been staged.” Kate countered.

“Pictures?” Yaz asked.

“They hacked my phone,” You complained. “Which I want it back by the way.” Your tone pointed. “It has photos and videos of my trips with the Master, which prove he’s not the same man.”

“Y/N,” The Doctor’s voice was laced with concern and sympathy.

“Time-Lord!” You suddenly turned to the Doctor causing the short blonde to jump a little, “You’re a Time-Lord!” You sounded reinvigorated.

“Last time I checked.” She laughed awkwardly.

“Then read my mind.” You sated as if it was the most obvious solution in the world. “Time-Lord telepathy does come in handy.”

A shocked blush seemed to sweep over both the Doctor and Yaz.

“Y/N that’s uh,” The Doctor looked at her companion, before looking back at you. “A very intimate thing to do.”

“Trust me I know,” A knowing smile on your features, “And yeah, the Master wont like it and I’d rather not have you in my head, but if it gets me out of here before the play ends, then do it.”

“What’s so important about the end of the play?” Graham asked.

“It’s when the Master is coming to pick me up.” You took glee from the confused looks on the groups face. “What? He didn’t want to see the play, so he said he’d just jump forward to when the play ends to pick me up. You are aware that the TARDIS is a time machine right?” Your sass palpable.

“So why are you so nervous about the time?” Kate questioned.

“Because imagine for a moment, that someone you had promised to take care of was taken from you when you weren’t looking. What’d you think you’d do to get that person back? Now imagine you’re the Master in this scenario.”

“Oh god.” Was all Kate managed to say.

“But you promised he’d changed.” Ace interjected.

“Yeah in the sense that he doesn’t want to destroy the Earth anymore.”

“Y/N, what time does the play end?” The Doctor asked her voice steady.

“Uh, at about ten? If I had my phone, I could give you the exact time.”

“Kate, give Y/N her phone back,” The Doctor started to move fast, knowing that the clock was counting down.

“Doc it’s only eight o’clock, we have time.” Graham piped up.

“No, we don’t.” Her voice was heavy.

“Doctor?” Yaz asked concerned.

“If I was the Master, I’d never let you go anywhere without me knowing.” She stared at her companion. “Do you really think he doesn’t know Y/N was taken?”

Suddenly every single light in the building went out, the emergency red lights bathing the room in a hellish glow, before a loud electronic locking sound permeated all around you. You didn’t need to be a genius to know what or better yet who, had taken control of the building.

“CRRRZZZT is this thing on?” The Master’s voice echoed over the intercom, an few more taps to the mic blasted in your ears. “Dear UNIT thugs and dimwitted former ‘companions’, this is your Master speaking.” His voice was more sinister than anything you’d heard from him before, you’d be terrified if he wasn’t here for you.

“You have someone that belongs to me, and I’m here to get her back.” You heart swelled listening to the words, finally the Master was admitting to the world that he cared for you, and not just whispering it when you were alone in the TARDIS.

“Now you can give Y/N back to me straight away and we’ll all walk away from this. Well some of us will,” A small sadistic giggle erupted from the speakers. “Sorry, I might have gotten carried away with the security in this booth oops...Anyway. Where was I?” A beat passed and you were sure you were the only person in the room still breathing.

“Oh right Y/N. Just know that I’m coming for you, and I swear if they have harmed a single hair on your head, I’ll make Vesuvius look like a pleasant day at the beach…BYE!” Static replaced the Master’s voice and the room erupted into chaos, but you didn’t care, the Master had set your heart aflame like never before.  

“Master.” You whispered to yourself as a smitten little prayer.  

PART THREE

[aprillikesthings]

this has gotta be the last one right??

with 4:22 to go???

EDIT, THIS WAS THE LAST POST I'M FINALLY DONE

"It's time for you to go."

(I feel it! I feel the cosmos! dot gif)

He screams!

And a black-and-green thing sort of erupts from his body and explodes

isn't that where they had the portal Adora was taken from as a baby

OH. IT WAS. this is a flashback I think

good lord they made her eyes HUGE

he's so quiet when he says this

ngl this is kind of sweet???

Entrapta throws herself at him :D

yeah!!!

GAYYYYY

Catra walks up. "Hey...Scorpia."

Scorpia just lifts her up. "You know I'm a hugger."

Don't get me wrong I think Catra should take the time to actually apologize, and I assume she does, but also Scorpia's already forgiven her.

Mermista says what we're all thinking lol

GIRL YOU DID IT. YOU SAVED THE UNIVERSE.

They show cool birds and dinosaur-looking things in the woods

Catra's little "Adora?" is so soft ;_;

Catra's purring omg

Adora: "he's gone."

Catra: "good riddance"

I'm emotional

dorks

Catra's ears being just barely visible omggg

Bow: "So....what're we going to do now?"

(I MEAN, my answer is "get a ton of rest and also a great deal of therapy" but)

Adora: "we can bring magic back to the universe!"

I wonder if Nate et al are frustrated that like, very few people wrote fics about that lolol

AND THAT'S IT. Show's over!!!

(and I have three hours before Easter Vigil starts, fucking SUCCESS)

TWO MONTHS OF DOING THIS LOLOL

and now I have no excuse not to work on my fic aaahahaha oh god

the tag for my writing, if you've missed it, is here

and my ao3 account is here

and you can read all these rewatch posts starting with the first episode here

and you can see progress on my Catra cosplay (and photos of the whole thing once it's done) here

If you've read any portion of these I appreciate you, thank you for your time and patience, I love you, be gay do crimes

LAST EPISODE

s5 ep13 heart pt 2

LET'S GOOOOOOO

it's 1:21pm and I have laundry to do AND Easter Vigil service starts at 8pm, can I get this all watched before 7pm?

Or am I gonna sit there in church vibrating in place for two hours knowing I have three minutes left on the episode or some bullshit lol

(That's longer than usual, yes. Easter Vigil is actually one of my fave services of the year--we start outside lighting candles (the ones inside have been out since Thursday night, even the one we otherwise never put out), then walk into the dark church, then sorta speedrun bits of the old testament (with a hymn after every reading) and then we decide OKAY IT'S EASTER NOW :D and turn on the lights and make a lot of noise and sing a few more hymns--we don't sing or say alleluia during Lent so all the hymns have that in it. There's often MASSIVE amounts of church incense, too. Anyway by the end it's a bit of a party. Apparently some churches have an actual party after the service.)(side note if you're new-ish to these posts that I'm Episcopalian, like, the priests at my church are a gay man and a woman, we're cool people mostly I promise)

See this is why these posts take forever. Why do I keep infodumping shit. This is what it's like to watch things with me in person, though.

If I get through this episode before Easter Vigil my reward is gonna be coming home and taking an edible and rewatching the last two episodes without screenshots so I can just cry over them.

oKAY

eh? that's new. like putting that on screen like that in dead silence. No intro sequence.

oh right Adora is injured. :( And it's some kind of magical monster thing that did it--a security thing put into the Crystal Castle by the First Ones

when she touches her wound the Failsafe glows, and it's making static-y noises and looking glitchy, that can't be good

the nasty tentacle monster thing is still there buT SO IS CATRA YAYYYY she shatters at least one of its eyeballs? I think?

my brain: this is like Caitlyn helping Vi after she got stabbed by Sevika, the wound is even in the same place :D me: wrong person has the red jacket on also Catra isn't going to buy some illegal potion thing to dose Adora with

(you should watch Arcane)

DOES SHE EVER SAY IT LIKE THAT BEFORE THIS?? oh god she sounds so breathless and relieved

Adora: "You can't be here! It's too dangerous"

And she stands up and starts to fall over and fucking Shadow Weaver helps her stand up, uGH

LOOK AT MY BB KICKING ASS

oh god so Shadow Weaver basically drags off Adora, Catra's like "I'll catch up, okay?" and Adora's like "no no Catraaaaa" her voice is cracking and everything, she doesn't want to do this without her and also worries about Catra and that tentacle monster thing

I'm not gonna screenshot it but poor Glimmer is fighting her dad, who is still chipped and Evil.

Bow is fighting Scorpia, also chipped and Evil. Oh hey Melog shows up and makes Bow invisible.

Micah is MEAN when chipped. He calls Glimmer a failure.

Glimmer: "My mother raised me to be brave. My friends taught me to be kind. And I'm stubborn. I get that from you. I will never stop fighting! And I won't lose another parent! I love you, dad."

She blasts him with enough magic that he collapses.

Bow, invisible, types away on Entrapta's computer she set up in the Horde thing, but when he gets it to start to do its thing he gets excited and says "I've got it!!" and Scorpia hears it and blasts him and is standing over him about to get him.

Bow: "Prime may have made you do a lot of things, but he can't turn you into something you're not. So, right now, all I need you to do is trust me."

Her eyes get normal for a second and she yells, and Bow slams a button on Entrapta's computer. There's a bright light.

Where Sea Hawk is holding Mermista, her chip goes dead and falls off. We get a lovely montage of other characters from all over Etheria, like Huntara and the folks at Elberon, who'd been chipped having their eyes go back to normal!

Scorpia: "oh my gosh I am so sorry!!"

yeah she's definitely back to normal lol

up on Horde Prime's ship:

lol

"My device worked! I knew it would!"

Bow: "Hey, everyone. I'm Bow."

(lol there's so much story in just this frame alone)

But yeah they show people from all over Etheria stopping to watch him speak, including his dads.

"Right now, we're the only thing standing in the way of him controlling it forever. You might be feeling hopeless. You might be thinking "We don't stand a chance." And maybe we don't. Prime's too strong. His army is too powerful. But that's not gonna stop us. We need to show Prime we're not afraid of him, because we have each other. And we have love. We can't give up. And if we go down, we go down together. We need you. All of you."

"It's time to fight. For She-Ra, for our homes, for each other!"

Broadcast over, back to Horde Prime. "Put an end to this mockery."

Catra injures the tentacle monster thing, but now that green is spreading into the room, and as Catra runs down the hall towards the Heart, she stops as Horde Prime shows up in hologram form

"I had such high hopes for you." like what, dude. keeping her around and chipped like a fucking puppet as an example? eugh. (something something about how her speeches to Adora while chipped were an obvious reference to people proselytizing high-control faiths)

the moment of distraction is enough for the tentacle monster to grab one of Catra's legs and she screams in pain D:

also there's still a bunch of earthquakes happening as these two limp towards the Heart

Poor Adora is just weakly going "No...no...wait" Shadow Weaver: "Don't lose your focus. We're so close."

What's this WE shit.

But also damn one thing Shadow Weaver and Horde Prime (and Light Hope!) have in common is they both believe love and affection and "attachments" are weaknesses. Shadow Weaver just cannot seem to get it through her head that Adora's love for Catra (and vice versa) is helpful here. Not a detriment. Love isn't a distraction!!! It gives us a stable ground of security and safety from which to do hard things!!

Meanwhile poor Angella told Adora "take care of each other."

This is pulsating, and so is the Failsafe on Adora's chest

OH NO oh god Okay being near that much hardcore magic is making Shadow Weaver powerful--her hair does the floaty thing for the first time since, what, s2? And she starts reaching for it, but THEN--

Adora yells Catra's name and starts walking back towards her, and Shadow Weaver's hair falls down again and she says the most weirdly desperate-sounding "Adora, wait!"

Prime's hologram is still torturing Catra along with the actual tentacle monster

(someone has drawn rule 34 of that thing but I'm not looking for it. I am content to know it exists.)

AND THEN THE MONSTER GETS BLASTED BY SHADOW WEAVER AHAHA NICE

about time she was useful amiright

okay so is this Shadow Weaver actually realizing she's been wrong about The Power of Love, or is this just her begrudgingly accepting that these two are Sold as A Set, Do Not Separate, and unless Catra's there Adora won't be able to use the Failsafe because she'll be looking for Catra the whole time???

Like is this an emotional epiphany or just pragmatism?

oh god so she magically shoves Catra away (towards Adora), but Catra runs back to Shadow Weaver

And y'all I know I talked about this a LOT way back in earlier seasons but I cannot tell you how accurate this keeps being in regards to dealing with an abusive parent. Like if you'd asked me, even after I cut off contact, if I wanted my dad to die, I would've said No! Of course not! At that point I didn't know whether the no-contact thing was temporary or not. I just knew I needed time and space to not be constantly stressed and anxious, for a notification on my phone to not immediately fill me with so much adrenaline my hands shook.

Anyway Shadow Weaver puts up a magical shield to keep Catra back

Shadow Weaver's response is amazingly calm and quiet. "Please, Catra. You need to make sure Adora reaches the Heart. The magic must be set free."

Her fight with Tentacle Monster isn't going well.

Catra's voice is heartbreaking here. "Stop it! It's going to kill you!"

"But you, this is only the beginning for you."

;_;

STICK THAT KNIFE IN AND TWIST IT! YEAH!

Catra's crying "no...no..." and a hand reaches out and grabs hers

LOL FINALLY HIT THE IMAGE LIMIT okay going to reblog

what a moment for it pfft

[adowbaldwin]

Baldwin takes a nap and he's a little cutie pie

Inspo from the below gif

(Sorry i dont know whose it is, saved it from a discord chat)

It was one of those naps that you didn't know you needed until you were face down, dribbling and wrapped around a pillow like a sloth in a tree with a blanket thrown over you.

It was one of those where the dream was so bizarre you think you accidently took acid before you went to sleep. The sand turned to ice-cream, pigs flew in the sky and you were a merman flopping about on the beach, a literal fish out of water.

And the YOU, my dear reader, is not YOU but Mr. Hot shot stock broker himself. The very man who puts the F in fear dreams every year that he has a pink and teal tail.

His pillows are his favourite, a mix of faux goose feather and memory foam. A mix of silk and cotton covers, Lord above he loved his bed. You wouldn't think it, but even when he's not asleep you can find him at night curled in bed hugging a pillow as if it were a woman. Atleast they didn't whine and moan like a girlfriend. A pillow wouldn’t hold a silly grudge about a War. Bloody stupid beautiful Eva. 

Every year he took two weeks off for his birthday. The first week he spent up to all kinds of debauchery, the second week he slept and lazed around his apartment. Usually he would sleep at most four days and then spent the rest lounging.

This year was no different, and on the Sunday at the end of a very very long and hard week of sex and booze, he put himself to bed.

He threw on his favourite comfy shirt and grey jogging bottoms, turned his phone and alarm clock off and slumped into the welcoming warmth of his bed.

"He is going to either torture or murder us" Diana chewed nervously on her lip as she tried, quietly as possible, to turn her spare key in Baldwins lock.

"Murder, definitely murder" Phoebe winced as a floor board cracked under their footing

"Where do you think he hid it?" Diana crossed her brows as she tried to think like her brother. Which was hard because he did alot of thinking and she didnt really want to know what went on behind those eyes.

Phoebe and Diana had been made aware of a wax tablet that incriminated Baldwin and Philippe in the burning of the Library of Alexandria. This information may or may not have come from Ysabeau.

The women had tried to wiggle more information out of the matriarch but she was tight lipped.  It was Marthe who had informed the women that such a thing would be kept close to Baldwin. Perhaps in his own apartment. And that he slept once a year and nothing would wake him once he was out of it. 

The pieces fell together, and off they went. The female version of Sherlock and Watson.

"Shall we check if he's asleep first and not waiting to pounce?" Phoebe nodded her reply to Diana and so off they went quietly as possible to the very end of the hall.

Phoebe pushed his door open, little by little thanking God that his hinges weren't screaming.

"Oh" Diana began

"My" phoebe continued

"God" they said at the same time

The sight before them would reduce any woman to jelly.

Or anyone really, he looked like a little baby.

His perfectly long lashes fanned out over his slightly pinked cheeks, hair fluffy and wavy as it hung over his forehead. His cupid bow lips formed a small pout and the softest, child like snoring echoed the room.

His arms held a pillow captive, clinging to it for dear life with a patchwork blanket thrown over his body. It was clearly home made and they both had the suspicion Marthe had something to do with the plush comforter.

"Oohh" Diana whined, clutching and unclenching her hands "i have the strongest urge to run my hand through his fluffy hair"

"That’s the pregnancy hormones. Don't you dare think of disturbing him before i get a photo" Phoebe's phone was out in an instant, snapping multiple photos of the site before them

Diana tentatively walked over, hand outstretched as she gingerly brushed her hands in his hair "Oh sweet Lord its so soft" she spoke in a loud whisper "come on, touch it!"

Phoebe didn't need much convincing, and before she knew it she was partaking in the perverse act "its like silk" she marvelled “you wouldn’t think looking at it”

"Amoote misftoe" he grumbled in his sleep, before turning onhis side away from the giddy women and jammed his right thumb into his mouth

Tears spilled from Diana's eyes, Phoebes ribs hurt so much she couldn't move. That image, Baldwin Montclair sucking his thumb circulated in the family chat. How it got into the hands of Eva no one will ever know (but Marcus definitely knows)

What no one knew was that Philippe slept once a year too and just like his son was a thumb sucker. Ysabeau had his portrait taken and it sat in a secret place, right next to the wax tablet in question.

She would never, ever admit to setting the girls up to find him asleep sucking his thumb. How dare you accuse her of such.

[tinyboxxtink]

"Doppelganger" *Part 23*

WHOO, y'all. I don't know what it is about this story but I am just...rolling it all out with the tragic backstory. No angst, I promise-- It ends happy chill out. But damn. Maybe I'm working out my own issues in here...lulz.

This gif will make so much sense you have no idea.

PART 22

Part 24

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

------

“....And how did that make you feel?”

You tried not to laugh out loud as the question left Dr. Crestview’s mouth. Did she really just ask you that?

“...I mean it makes me ‘feel’ bad,” You rolled your eyes with a laugh while looking out the window. When you turned back to the doctor she was not laughing, and she was writing something down.

“...That was a joke,” You clarified.

“Oh yes, I get it,” She nodded as she continued writing.

“Do you?” You asked her frankly. The question caused her to stop writing and look at you.

“Mrs. Barba--”

“Ms. YLN,” You corrected. “I’m not married yet,”

“...Hmm, interesting,” She wrote something down. Seriously? She even had an insight on what-- technicalities?

“I’m sorry, was that some sort of test?” You asked sarcastically.

“Actually, it was,” She said to your surprise.

“Excuse me?” You looked at her, baffled.

“You know when most women get engaged, they start imagining their last names as their husbands. You know such as changing their signature, gathering documents, and the like,”

“...Are you serious?” You laughed again. “This is 2021 lady, half the women I know didn’t even take their husband’s last name at all,”

“And is that what you’re going to do?” She asked. “Keep your last name?”

“...If I say yes are you going to psychoanalyze that too?” You crossed your arms.

“In my experience Ms. Y/L/N, women who don’t want to change their last names tend to do so because they want to keep their independence, their…’identity’. They think taking a man’s last name is ‘giving up’ something. Giving up their identity,” She explained.

“...And?” You gestured with your hand as if waiting for her to continue.

“And in my educated opinion, it also signifies a woman going into a marriage with one foot out of the door already,” She simply stated.

“Wow,” You shook your head with a sarcastic laugh. “Did I come here to resolve my trauma, or for marriage advice?”

“I think they’re one and the same, Ms. Y/L/N,” She stayed completely calm and emotionless.

“Are they?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Given what you’ve told me in our last few sessions, you’ve given off a tone that you don’t think you deserve good things. Maybe you’re keeping on foot out of your relationship so that when it falls apart, you’ll be ready,”

“Wow....wow,” You started to stand up and storm out of the office, but she stopped you with a question.

“I’m sorry if I offended you with my observation Y/N, but be honest. Am I wrong?”

You thought about all the talks you had with Rafael about ‘not being good enough’ for him, or ‘stealing his love’. And on the one hand you felt that you were ‘connected’, you felt safe and secure. After everything you’d been through, it was almost impossible not to be, right? Right?

“....And what is your magic solution to this feeling, doctor?” You crossed your arms.

“You need to forgive yourself,”

“...Jesus Christ,” You rolled your eyes with another laugh as you paced the room. “Really? That’s your solution? Telling me something I already know?”

“No, my solution is this: You need to apologize to your parents,”

“EXCUSE ME?” You practically screamed.

“You blame yourself for their death, correct? You think that because of their desire to make you happy they risked their lives driving into the city and therefore got into their accident,” She looked over her notes from past sessions with you.

“...Right,” You looked down at the floor.

“And I don’t think that you have ever forgiven yourself for that. And in not doing so, you haven’t forgiven yourself for anything you’ve done since then. All these things you say you’ve ‘done’ to Mr. Barba that you should be ‘punished’ for-- he doesn’t see it that way. Other people don’t see it that way. Your parents' accident wasn’t your own doing, getting kidnapped wasn’t your fault. I think that you need to find closure with your parent’s death before you can even begin to ‘forgive’ yourself for whatever transpired between you and Nevada Ramirez,”

“....So you want me to apologize to my parents? How are they going to ‘forgive’ me?” You asked her.

“I think you’ll find Ms. Y/L/N that just the act of apologizing will bring about its own form of forgiveness,” She smiled.

“.....Right…” You tried not to sound condescending, but for a shrink she sure sounded crazy.

“Or don’t listen to me, I can’t force you to do anything. But that is my advice,” She shrugged.

“Noted. Thank you, doctor,” You nodded and walked out the door.

----

You walked out into the streets of the city from your doctor’s office and thinking about just how or when you’d have a chance to go to your hometown where your parents were, when you were stopped by a young girl on the street.

“Oh my god...you’re Y/N!” She gasped.

“...Yes?” You stared at her blankly.

“You’re that girl who killed Nevada Ramirez!” She squealed, causing a few people to stare and take pictures of you as they walked past.

“Oh good lord…” You muttered nervously. “Yeah well um--”

“Can I get a selfie with you?”

“Um--” You looked around, not sure of what to do. You wanted to run down the street screaming, but you thought better of it. You turned back to her with the fakest smile you could form.

“Sure!” You threw an arm around her and smiled as big as you could as she snapped a selfie with her phone.

“Thanks!” She beamed at you. “ And by the way, your fiancé is REALLY sexy,”

“Oh girl I know,” You faked a laugh and a toss of your hair as she walked away with a laugh.

It really creeped you out that girls were ‘fangirling’ over your fiancé. As if you weren’t worried about keeping a hold of him all on your own. Also how did she even know what he looked like?

The article.

You grabbed your phone and did something you told yourself you’d never do: You googled yourself.

The first thing that popped up was an article on the NYTimes.com front page:

“Fairy Tale Romance Or Horror Movie?”

...What the fuck?

The article contained your video as the main focus. Then under it the article basically dictated the video, with Tasha’s opinions thrown in here and there. Then most of the photos from the photoshoot of you and Rafael were at the bottom of the page. They were gorgeous, you had to admit. Granted you were both airbrushed to hell, but Rafael in a suit drove you nuts. Even if it was just on a screen. You dialed his number as you continued walking down the street.

“....Hola, mi amor. How is my pinguino feeling?”

“Well she’s currently feeling like she’s got the sexiest man in New York City,” You grinned.

“Oh really? And why’s that?” He asked you curiously.

“Check out the picture I’m texting you,” You grinned as you texted him one of the photos from the spread.

“Oh Christ…” You heard him mutter through the phone, causing you to giggle.

“Oh yes, you even have your own fangirls now,” You rolled your eyes with a smile.

“No I do NOT,” He argued in disbelief.

“Yeah I’d be careful leaving your office there counselor, a group of tweens might be waiting outside,”

“Oh my god...they’re breaching the doors!” He acted terrified, making you laugh harder.

“Oh I think I see one,” You whispered as if you were sneaking up on someone. “She’s holding a ‘Barba 4Eva’ poster board,”

“You better be kidding,” He warned.

“No, in fact I think she’s right outside your door,” You bit your tongue with a smile.

“Oh well I’d better call security then,” He chuckled as he sauntered over to his office door and swung it open.

“Oh my Gooodddddddd it’s Rafael Barba!!! The sexiest ADA in New York City!!” You giggled wildly, jumping into his arms like a crazed fan.

“I should definitely look into some armed guards at my door,” He laughed as he pulled you into his arms and kissed you.

“Oh most definitely, wouldn’t want to let the crazies in,” You nodded as you kissed him again.

“Well I think it’s too late for that…” He teased you while tousling your hair.

“Shut up,” You playfully hit his hands away.

“Speaking of crazy, how was therapy today mi amor?” He asked cheekily.

Wowwwww, sexy AND sensitive, how did I get so lucky?” You rolled your eyes. “Actually, she gave me homework,”

“Did she?” He inquired.

“Yes,” You suddenly got very serious. “She um, she told me I need to go see my parents,”

“...Your parents?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, something about needing to ‘apologize’ to them or some weird shrink thing like that,”

“....Do you think it will help?”

“I mean...” You sighed and looked out the window. “I don’t know. But I’d like to try,”

“Bueno,” He nodded walking closer to you and kissing the top of your head. “So are you going to go now or--?”

“Well I was kind of hoping you’d come with me,” You bit your lip. You didn’t know if asking him to come along on your shrink homework assignment was allowed, but you knew you couldn’t do this alone. Maybe that was the point.

“Really?”

“I mean, I met your family,” You half laughed, trying to make light.

“Right,” He nodded his head with a chuckle. “Well then, let’s go,”

“...Now?”

“Why not?” He started to walk towards the door.

“Don’t you have a job?” You pointed to his desk.

“Oh they just like to pay me to sit in here so nobody robs the place,” He joked as he grabbed his coat. “I have nothing going on today baby, they won’t miss me.”

“Okay then,” You shrugged uneasily. “Guess we’re going to Jersey,”

----------------

After a train ride and a taxi later, you arrived in your small town of Shallow Meadow.

“Christ Almighty, I knew Jersey was in the dark ages, but not even having Uber??” Rafael grumbled. He hadn’t been in the back of a dirty cab in such a long time, and now he remembered why.

“Alright Daddy Warbucks, chill,” You laughed as you started walking with him through town.

It was a quaint little town; one stop light, one grocery store, two bars, something out of an old movie really You know the movies where the car breaks down in the tiny shitty town and all the townspeople are flesh eating zombies or something. The people of Shallow Meadow were pretty much like that. Well, to you anyway.

“So why didn’t we just have the Mayberry Express drop us at the cemetery?”

“...Because we don’t have roads you can drive on up there,” You answered with a nervous smile.

“...Right,” He shook his head as he noticed people coming out of shops to stare at the two of you. “...Do I have some kind of weird sign on my back that says NEW YORKER or what?”

“No, but that thousand dollar suit screams “moneybags” out here,” You smirked. “Besides, they’re not staring at you they’re staring at me,”

“...What? How do you know that?”

As if it was answering his question, a girl with bright red hair dressed in farm clothing and holding a baby on her hip came sauntering up to the two of you.

“Well lookie here,” She smirked. “Miss Prissy Pants brought back herself a Prissy Papa,”

“Excuse you?” Rafael was taken aback by such rudeness by such a poorly dressed person.

“Marla back off,” You scowled at her. “Just because you’re upset I found treasure and you’re stuck with trash--”

“OH, is that what we are now? Trash?” Marla spat. “You have a lot of nerve coming back here and saying that, murderer,”

“WHOA,” Rafael stepped in front of you. “I’m sorry, what-- what did you just call her?”

“Did she not tell you the story? Oh no wait I bet she did, her version. The version where she’s the victim and we’re all just the villains. Isn’t that right, Prissy?” She glared at you.

“...I never said you were--” You tried defending yourself.

“Really?” She scoffed. “Then why did you not even bother to show up to your folks’ funeral? Their ONLY daughter, the ones they DIED for. Couldn’t even be bothered to leave her high rise in the city to pay respects to the parents she KILLED,”

“It wasn’t like that and you KNOW it, Marla! And why was I going to come back? The only two people left in this town that tolerated me were gone--” You got up in her face.

“AND WHY IS THAT, Y/N?” She got back in yours, her baby almost falling out of her arms.

“Alright lady I don’t know who you are, but you’re going to back the hell off my fiancée--”

“Oh good God, your fiancé?” Marla laughed. “You would find yourself a sugar daddy, since you killed yours,”

“Alright you know what we’re leaving--” You grabbed Rafael’s hand and stomped away towards a huge hill that had a sign reading “CEMETERY” at the top.

“I hope you’re heading up there to beg their forgiveness Y/N, ‘cuz you sure as hell ain’t getting any down here!” Marla yelled angrily after you.

--------------

“...Well I think we just figured out where your forgiveness issues came from,” Rafael tried making light of the situation.

“Ya think?” You nodded.

“This whole time,” Rafael shook his head. “This whole time I thought you just had it in your mind that you were responsible for their death. But-- but you had an entire town telling you that,”

“...Yeah,” You shrugged.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything, baby?” Rafael took your hand as the hill got steeper.

“Because I thought they were right, Rafael!” You said in a ‘duh’ tone. “Why would I tell you that an entire town thought that I was a murderer? That’s not really a selling point on a partner,”

“...You thought they were right?”

“...Well, yeah,” You nodded softly with a small smile.

“And now…?”

Before you could answer, you reached the entrance of the cemetery. Luckily it wasn’t that big; you were ashamed to admit you didn’t even know where they were buried. But you found them in a small corner under a shade tree. You walked up to their mutual headstone:

“Y/M/N AND Y/D/N: Beloved Husband And Wife, Mayor and First Lady.”

“...Mayor?” Rafael looked at you in surprise.

“Yeah, well--” You shrugged. “You see why they were so beloved, and I was the hellish daughter that killed them?”

“Y/N…” Rafael put a hand on your shoulder.

“I was supposed to want to ‘take over the city’, like I would ever want to be in charge of anything in this stupid backwards hick ass town,” You scoffed angrily, tears stinging your eyes.

“...But didn’t you say that your parents wanted you to go to Juliard? Pursue your dreams?” Rafael asked in confusion.

“They did! My grandparents-- they had a different view,” You shook your head. “The...the hierarchy here it’s-- well it’s not really a democracy,”

“...How so…?” Rafael raised an eyebrow.

“Because everyone just loved and accepted my family as, I don’t know, the ‘royal’ family?” You felt so stupid comparing your family to the Royal Family, but you didn’t know how else to explain it.

“The Mayor and First Lady titles were just...passed down, in my family. And not because they were dictators or something,” You quickly added the last part, you didn’t want Rafael to think any less of your family than he probably already did.

“People here are just...simple,” You sighed. “They accept things the way they are, they hate change. So it was just assumed that my family would always be... "the family’,”

“But you didn’t want that,” Rafael said again.

“Of course I didn’t want that!” You scoffed. “I didn’t want to just get a high school degree and then marry some ‘Cletus’ redneck man from here and have ‘heirs’ just to keep the family going!”

“But your parents understood that,” Rafael reiterated.

“It didn’t matter what my parents did or didn’t understand. My grandfather had more clout with the townspeople here,” You rolled your eyes. “My dad was the ‘mayor’, but his dad controlled everything. His father had been the mayor for over thirty years before he passed it onto my dad, who didn’t really want it either” You walked up to the headstone and ran your fingers over your father’s name.

“....So when he tried to ‘save’ me from that life, my grandpa wouldn’t hear it. He blamed me for...for manipulating them into giving me anything I wanted, like I was a spoiled little child. He blamed me for them giving me their life savings to go to Julliard instead of putting it back into the town treasury. Then he blamed me when they got killed, and he just reinstated himself as mayor! Which, I haven’t checked but I’ll be damned if he isn’t still rattling around his old ass bones in our house! He’ll just haunt this place forever!” You threw your hands up and looked down angrily at the town down below.

“Carino…” Rafael came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist from behind. You took his hands in yours and kissed them before turning to face him. You looked into his sparkling green understanding eyes for a moment, before directing your attention back at the headstone.

“....This is Rafael Barba, mama and daddy,” You pulled him gently forward. “We’re getting married soon,”

“...Nice to meet you folks,” Rafael said awkwardly.

“...Raffi they’re dead,” You smiled jokingly.

“Right, right,” He shook his head with a small laugh.

“...He’s a very good man, daddy. I know you always wanted that. And he’s very handsome, so you’ll have beautiful grandchildren mama, just like you wanted,” You smiled while Rafael softly chuckled.

“...I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to come,” You finally said with tears rolling down your cheeks. “I should have been here sooner,”

“But you’re here now,” Rafael softly rubbed your back.

“Yeah…” You nodded softly. This was the hard part.

“...I’m---I’m sorry, that I made you feel like horrible parents that night,” You tried not to cry, but the memories of that night flooded your memory the more you spoke.

“I’m sorry that you thought you needed to come see me, that you weren’t good parents if you didn’t,” Your lip trembled, you fell to your knees.

“...I’m sorry the last words you heard from me were ‘I hate you’,” You finally broke down sobbing.

“Y/N…” Rafael knelt down next to you and held you in his arms as you cried.

“Do you get now why...why I don’t think I deserve you? Why don't I think I deserve anything? Why I think I have to take everything? Fake everything? Because I am such a terrible person my own parents died thinking I hated them because I was that horrible to them!”

“They didn’t think you hated them, carino,” Rafael rocked you back and forth. “They knew you loved them, I know they did,”

“You know you’re probably right, Rafael. But it--I needed them to hear it,” You nodded at the gravestone.

“And?”

“...And I feel a lot better,” You smiled as Rafael wiped tears from your face.

“Really?”

“Yeah…Really,” You chuckled. “I guess that therapist really knows what she’s doing,”

“She should for the amount of money I pay her,” Rafael shook his head with a laugh as he helped you stand up.

“...Thank you for doing this with me, amor,” You sniffled, pressing your forehead against his.

“Of course, penguino,” He kissed you softly. “And, for what it’s worth--” He added as you two walked back down the hill towards town.

“I think that if your parents were alive, they would be proud of you,”

“Oh, I know my mother would take one look at you and be DAMN proud,” You both laughed at that.

“And I also think they would be appalled to see how their townspeople treat their daughter,” He glared at the town.

“Yeah well,” You shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Not anymore,”

“I’m glad to hear it,” He took your hands as the sun started to go down in your sleepy little town. “Now can we please get back to the city before I catch something out here?”

“Yes,” You giggled, staring at him lovingly.

“Let’s go home,”

[mxndoscyarika]

Red Sunsets (Javier Peña x Chinese!reader) | Chapter 7: Ser Desnudaba

(GIF by @ithinkwehitametaphor)

Author’s note: Brace yourselves :) This one has a lotttttt of Spanish and a lot of other things that you may like 😏 As always, translations are at the bottom. Enjoy!

Summary: Family fights, grudges, and determination. Those three things defined your journey as you navigated through the workings of the DEA. Getting in was hard, and catching Escobar was even harder. You joined Javier Peña and Steve Murphy in the hunt for Escobar, forming bonds and life lessons along the way.

Like my writing? Here’s my masterlist.

Red Sunsets masterlist

Warning(s): mention of sex, smoking, swearing, mention/wondering of death

You woke to your alarm clock beeping incessantly on your nightstand. Looking to the side to find that your partner in the previous night’s activities had left, you sighed and laid back on the pillows. Your inner thighs were sore, and you were already missing the feeling of warm hands on your body.

After you’d drifted off, Javi plagued your dreams. The visions were hazy, but you knew the hands that held yours and the plush lips peppering kisses along your neck. In your dreams, you heard his voice whispering sweet nothings in your ears as you cooked dinner, his arms wrapped around you. Holding hands on the way to his car. Blowing kisses from across the office. All things you could only dream of having.

Eyes burning, you forced yourself to roll out of the bed and start your day.

“Did you kids have fun last night?” Steve teased, smirking at you and Javi from his desk.

“What do you mean?” you asked absentmindedly. The report that Centra Spike gave you didn’t make any sense; you felt like you were reading pinyin without the tonal numbers. While you were getting ready for work, you’d offhandedly remembered that you’d shamelessly called out Javi’s name the night before. As if the walls weren’t thin enough that he may have heard you on the floor below.

Your blonde partner looked between you and Javi with raised brows. “Wait, so you two weren’t...?”

Rolling your eyes, you tossed the report back onto your desk before snapping, “No, Murphy. We didn’t fuck. Not everything you hear from your apartment is from us, alright? Everyone has needs, even me.”

Ignoring Javi’s wide-eyed stare, you picked up the report again and reread the same paragraph you’d been scanning for the past hour. Just because yesterday was supposed to be your night with Javi didn’t mean that you and he were together. For fuck’s sake, Javi didn’t even show up in the evening after you’d blown up on him. You couldn’t blame him.

Steve cleared his throat. “So you…?”

The paper slapped the desk as you shot him an annoyed look. You felt Javi’s gaze burning against your cheek, but you refused to spare him a glance. “Peña didn't come over last night. He probably found some woman to fuck around with, so I found someone who actually wanted to keep me company. Is that so hard to believe?”

Your dark-haired partner sighed and muttered something under his breath, jabbing the keys of the typewriter a little harder than necessary.

Turning your attention to him, you quipped, “What was that? I didn’t hear you.”

His eyes pierced yours. “I said, why should I show up if you don’t want to see me?”

You scoffed, turning the rest of your body towards him. “You thought I didn’t want to see you? You do realize we’ve been doing this every week since I got here, right?”

“But I’m not the one who stormed out of here yesterday over a couple scratches-” he shot back, his voice rising.

“It was more than just a couple scratches, you could’ve died-”

“Why does it matter to you?” he barked, breathing heavily. There was a hint of sadness glinting in his eyes.

You clenched your jaw shut and looked away.

Steve watched both of you with wide eyes and exhaled loudly. Tapping his desk, he said, “I’m gonna...get some more coffee.”

That left you and Javi stranded at your conjoined desks.

Javi spoke up first, his voice back to a soft baritone. “Look, I’m sorry about what I said. You were right; I should be more careful. It’s just-”

“I know. I’m sorry, too. We both want the same thing...and that’s to catch Escobar,” you interjected, your voice soft. You picked at the corner of the report, sliding your finger along its edge. “You did what you thought was best in the moment, just as I did.”

“Right.” He nodded slowly, fiddling with a pen. Sheepishly, he asked, “Does that mean we’re back on for this weekend?”

The hopeful look he gave you, reminiscent of a puppy, made your heart clench in your chest. With everything, you’d forgotten about your plans for the weekend. You and Javi were planning on spending an evening together going out and having fun. But nevertheless, you couldn’t back out. You rolled your eyes, trying to keep a smile off your face. “Yes, Javi. But you’re driving us.”

His smile shouldn’t have made warmth rush to your cheeks or make your heart flutter at the concept of getting to spend time with him. You shouldn’t have wanted to see him smile at you like that every day. Only at you.

“Of course, hermosa,” he replied. You’d missed hearing him say that. “Oh, and if you want, I can drive us to work tomorrow; I think we can both agree that this morning was a little too quiet for the both of us.”

He was giving you that look again, the corners of his lips turned up in a small smile and his deep brown eyes gazing at you. Before you could respond, the phone started ringing.

You snatched it up and held it against your ear. “This is agent L/N.”

Steve returned while you spoke with whoever was on the other end of the line, a steaming mug of coffee in his hand. He smirked as he sat down, noting how Javi’s eyes had glossed over, though they were still on you.

Once you hung up, you quickly stood from your desk and gathered some folders. “That was Carrillo. He wants me in his office to talk about some potential leads. I’ll be right back.” You patted Javi on the shoulder as you walked past. “Get some work done, cariño.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t call in all three of us,” you said as you entered Carrillo’s office. Spreading out the folders on his desk, you continued, “No es tu estilo.”

“Lo consideré, pero me gusta más a tu voz y tienes más inteligencia que los dos juntos,” the colonel replied, shrugging. He braced his arms against the desk and leaned forward to examine the photos and reports. “A ver....”

You spent a while bent over his desk, sorting photos and scribbling down notes. He’d managed to wring a few clues from the captured sicario. Now it was a matter of connecting the dots.

Escobar had been laying low for a while, but every now and then he popped up. Normally, any sightings were too late to be much use, but the sicario had given you a useful piece of information: a neighborhood. It seemed like he often drove through, making some stops along the way. Perhaps he had some friends or associates there.

Carrillo watched intently as you used a ridiculous amount of tape and paper to connect the pieces of evidence in a web-like design. “Tú y Peña están bien?”

“Por qué me preguntas?”

Shrugging, he answered, “Pues, estuvieron enojados ayer.”

“No estuve enojada,” you objected. “Estuve preocupada.”

“Y por qué estuviste preocupada, nena?” he goaded. “Peña tiene mucha experiencia en este tipo de trabajo. Ya lo sabes bien.”

“Él es el corazón de este misión,” you replied flatly. It seemed like you couldn’t avoid Javi anywhere. He always managed to be mentioned.

“Es el corazón del misión, o es tu corazón?” he said, smirking. “I see the look on your face, Y/N. Why don’t you tell him how you feel?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, this isn’t exactly a good time or place to form a relationship,” you pointed out. “And besides, he and I are colleagues. The last thing we need is emotions getting in the way of our jobs.”

“But if you don’t tell him, you might never get the chance to,” he said. “Si no te quiere, lo más peor es que te rechazará, no?”

“No es necesario,” you responded, replacing the cap on the marker and tossing it onto the desk.

“Por qué?”

You crossed your arms, sitting on the edge of the desk. “Because I’m going back out there whether you like it or not. Y haré todo que necesito para protegerlo y capturar Escobar.”

“Yo entiendo,” he said. “Pero hay que pensar de las consecuencias de este trabajo. Me dedico a Colombia, pero tengo que recordar que tengo una esposa esperando en casa. Estoy luchando para el país y también por del futuro de mi familia.”

Why was he telling you this? Despite your family’s attempt to mend a bridge they’d burned, you weren’t exactly staying alive for them. In fact, you weren’t staying alive for anyone. Not even yourself.

Part of you wondered if you were supposed to have died the day you fell off the roof. You could’ve easily snapped your spine on the balcony railing, or missed the balcony altogether. But of course you didn’t. You were “lucky” to have survived, but what was so lucky about being stuck on desk duty for weeks and chasing drug lords?

But there was Javi. Your grumpy, intelligent partner who’d stayed with you throughout the hospital experience and let you live in his apartment until you could walk up the stairs to yours. He hadn’t complained once while you were there, no matter how many times you forgot to take your meds and drink water. And while you insisted on helping around his apartment, he’d always coax you back onto the couch or his bed. That was another thing that struck you as odd: he let you sleep in his bed. Alone. With exactly zero suggestions of sharing it, much to your disappointment.

If he felt the same way as you did, wouldn’t he have made it more obvious? It was no secret that he could charm the pants off of most ladies at the bar, so it was telling that he never showed the same kind of interest in you. After all, friends could have sleepovers and lunch dates without being romantic, right?

Back in the office, Javi and Steve worked silently, plumes of smoke drifting from their cigarettes. After you’d left to meet Carrillo, they’d fallen back into their usual rhythm of work. The only difference was, neither of them could shake off the tension between you and Javi.

“So,” Steve began, drawing out the vowel. Once his partner looked up at him from over the typewriter, he inquired, “When are you gonna tell Y/N that you love her?”

If looks could kill, he’d be dead. “You know I can’t tell her that.”

“Why not?” Steve questioned, tilting his head. “Are you afraid?”

Javi shook his head. “Have you seen her? She nearly bit my head off yesterday. This is the worst time to say anything.”

“She was worried about you,” Steve reasoned, smiling a little as he remembered your concerned expression. “And not just as a friend or coworker. She was worried. It’s the same when I go home to Connie. And look, I’m no genius when it comes to emotions, but I think she loves you. And I think you love her too.”

The creases between Javi’s brows relaxed slightly as he ran through the possible ramifications of telling you his feelings. The best case was that you’d feel the same way, and then you could move forward in your relationship. You could finally go on dates and hold hands and do whatever it was that couples did these days. Or, you could reject him and end your friendship right then and there. And not only would your friendship be compromised, but so would your work relationship. He wasn’t sure if he could last another month or year or decade without you by his side. Without meaning to, he’d let you weave yourself into his life so intricately that it would rip him to shreds if he lost you.

At the same time, he knew that you wouldn’t wait around forever. You were smart, hardworking, beautiful, and so many things that he couldn’t put into words. You were unapologetic about your heritage and confidence, something that he rarely saw in law enforcement. You stood up for what you believed in and refused to let yourself be pushed around; you always had one hand on the wheel. He knew that, eventually, you’d find someone who loved you enough to pursue a relationship; and the next thing he’d know was that you were getting married and having kids. And that person could be him, or someone else.

Sighing, he conceded. “We’ll see.”

Translations:

“Lo consideré, pero me gusta más a tu voz y tienes más inteligencia que los dos juntos. A ver….” I considered it, but I like your voice and you’re smarter than those two combined. Let’s see….

“Tú y Peña están bien?” Are you and Peña alright?

“Por qué me preguntas?” Why are you asking?

“Pues, estuvieron enojados ayer.” Well, you guys were angry yesterday.

“No estuve enojada. Estuve preocupada.” I wasn’t angry. I was worried.

“Y por qué estuviste preocupada, nena? Peña tiene mucha experiencia en este tipo de trabajo. Ya lo sabes bien.” And why were you worried, girl? Peña’s very experienced in this type of work. You know that already.

“Él es el corazón de este misión.” He’s the heart of the mission.

“Es el corazón del misión, o es tu corazón?” Is he the heart of the mission, or is he your heart?

“Si no te quiere, lo más peor es que te rechazará, no?” If he doesn’t love you, the worst thing is that he could reject you, right?

“No es necesario.” That’s not necessary.

“Por qué?” Why?

“Y haré todo que necesito para protegerlo y capturar Escobar.” And I’ll do whatever it takes to protect him (Javi) and catch Escobar.

“Yo entiendo. Pero hay que pensar de las consecuencias de este trabajo. Me dedico a Colombia, pero tengo que recordar que tengo una esposa esperando en casa. Estoy luchando para el país y también por el futuro de mi familia.” I understand. But you need to think about the consequences of this work. I’m dedicated to Colombia, but I remember that I have a wife waiting for me at home. I’m fighting for the country as well as a future for my family.

Tagging: 

Permanent taglist: @cinewhore​ @randomness501​ @pedropascalisadilf​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​ @catfishingmorales​ @halfwaythereroyal​ @fioccodineveautunnale​ @tortles​ @talesfromtheguild​ @ladamari68​ @theokatcov @snivellusim​ @starryluce​ @inked-poet​ @this-cat-is-dea​ @shewritesandplants​ @chews-erotically​ @thefandomimagines​ @emesispo​ @mindless--ramblings​

Red Sunsets taglist: @engineeredfiction​ @reylo-hope​ @yespolkadotkitty​ @geistbuster​ @far-too-tired-to-exist​ @faiinal​ @promiscuoussatan​ @thewaythisis​ @earl-01​ @honestlystop​ @chaotic-noceur​

Let me know if you’d like to be added/removed!

[hatsukeii]

How does tsukki, kuroo and Kags text their s/o btw I love how you write them

Aww thanks!!

I see Tsukki Kuroo and Kags are vv popular for hq headcanons here lmao

(Not that I mind though I love Tsukishima with all my heart-🥺💕)

Defs gonna be some lowkey angsty headcanon of the boys.

Probably gonna be shorter than my normal hcs, sorry🥺🥺

Onto the children-

🌙Tsukishima🌙

- You always have to start texting first.

- Like this boy cannot start a conversation for shit.

- Text conversations usually consist of asking for homework answers, note sharing, and dinosaur facts.

- Tsukishima probably makes fun of you through the screen as well, you’re not safe just because you’re not physically with him.

- In return you spam stickers in chat.

- Your most used stickers are the Episode meme stickers, the “Suck my dick bitch” sticker, the “I fucked your mom and your dad” sticker, and the “You do not spark joy, goodbye” sticker.

- Conversations can get very deep as well.

- Like you two have had full blown talks about like prejudice and shit all through text.

- He gets sentimental in chat sometimes while ranting to you.

- You can literally tell from some of the conversations you two have that he’s either depressed, suicidal, or has anxiety. Or all three.

- Knowing that, you send him 3 photos of baby animals every morning to remind him there’s something to live and be happy for.

- He saves them all to his camera roll.

- He sends you music recommendations every other day through text.

- You’d think he enjoys softer music, but half the songs he recommends are from like 70s-90s rock bands.

- He was the one that got you into listening to bands like AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, Green Day, Nirvana etc.

- Okay he still listens to soft music though.

- Conan Gray, Jeremy Zucker, Wallows, you name it.

- Usually keeps you up until like midnight just texting.

- Doesn’t like to use emojis.

- Instead, he uses “:)” “:(“ “;)” “:,)” “:0”

- He probably uses “wtf”, “smh”, “lmao”, “ffs” a lot.

♠️Kuroo♠️

- Meme lord™️

- Spams memes in chat all the fucking time.

- Meme wars are a must.

- Has a stash of weird stickers.

- Made a four part Riccardo sticker.

- And a sticker of Barney sticking a kid’s head at its crotch trying to hug her.

- And a pixellated minecraft style Mario spreading his asscheeks.

- Uses them exclusively.

- Your parents saw the Mario sticker and you had to explain that you weren’t sending nudes to people and using that as a reaction.

- Vine quotes all day every day.

- “Hey Kuroo, come to Del Taco’s.”

- “We’ve got freeshavacadoo.”

- Uses “lmao”, “ oml”, “lolol”, “whgwjgssdyhd”, “B R U H”, and “omf” so much it’s funny.

- Conversations don’t get deep that much, but you send him volleyball memes you make every time he has a match coming up the next day.

- Ya boy Kuroo loves them so much that he does extra well during matches.

- He lost a match once and you sent him over 20 of those twitter meme reacting tiktoks hoping he’d feel better.

- He appreciated them a lot.

- Every single text conversation has you rolling on the floor laughing.

- Randomly wakes you up at like 3am on a school night to ask you some stupid question.

- You blocked him for a whole day once for waking you up at 4am just to ask you whether he would look like a rooster if he dyed his hair red.

🌊Kageyama🌊

- Really, really dry texter.

- Don’t know why, he’s just really bad at texting.

- Likes to use emojis though.

- Your chat apps are basically used for asking dumb questions.

- For some reason he likes to use tiktok memes a lot.

- “Don’t be shy, put some more.”

- “RATATTATAATATATATATA.”

- “Fucking ok boomer.”

- Sends you previews of your favourite shows.

- NEVER FUCKING REPLIES TO YOUR TEXTS OR CALLS AJHSHSJSHD-

- When he does it’s usually with “oh”, “ok”, “cool”, “lmao” “well”, “k” or something along those lines.

- Please someone teach this boy how to text seriously he cannot hold a conversation through phone.

- Made a whole sticker pack of just his face.

- There are baby photos of him as stickers in the volleyball team and class groupchat.

- Asks for homework answers through text.

- Conversations last for 10 minutes maximum.

- You once told him you missed him because you never get to text him while he was out of town and he sent you a Thanos gif that said “impossible.”

- Your friends were beyond pissed.

- You were laughing your ass off though.

- In conclusion, just talk to him in real life man.

Shorter than usual, but I hope you like it xx

[inspector2ndclass]

The Mechanisms as Random Birds I Found on the Internet

Did anyone want this? No. Do I know anything about birds? Also no. Anyways, here’s a shitpost I spent way too long on.

Jonny d’Ville: Northern Mockingbird

First and foremost, here’s Jonny! An asshole! A bastard! An all around terrible person! He shall be a northern mockingbird. This fucking bird has no redeemable qualities other than that it is pretty and a GREAT singer. This is a very aggressive bird. Very territorial. If it had opposable thumbs, it would probably shoot you in like the foot or something. I don’t think these birds are very smart. Just like a certain “captain” that we know. The state bird of Texas, among all places. Never trust a texas. In true Texas fashion, the 1927 legislation declaring the Northern Mockingbird the state’s official bird stated that the species is “a fighter for the protection of his home, falling, if need be, in its defence, like any true texan.” Now Jonny burned down a Texas - maybe not this Texas but whatever. I read somewhere that a mockingbird could peck someone’s dick off, and honestly? Valid.

Gunpowder Tim: Southern Cassowary

Okay, hear me out. This bird is a little bitch - or rather a b i g bitch. In a good way. Look at this fucking bird. It’s majestic. Doesn’t it look just SO trustworthy. What a trustworthy man. And very pretty. Pretty, pretty bird. Who could squash you like a fucking ant. This is one Violent bird. Tim is one Violent person. The cassowary makes a low roaring sound like a fucking dinosaur. I love dinosaurs. DID I MENTION IT LAYS GREEN EGGS. Now you might say, well Tim is a human and humans don’t lay green eggs. Fuck you. It’s never explicitly stated that our very own Gunpowder Tim doesn’t lay green eggs. Also comes with a built-in helmet. As everyone except Tim and the southern cassowary says, safety first! Strikes me as a very egotistical bird. If the cassowary weren’t a bird, I don’t think it would wear a seatbelt.

Ashes O’Reilly: California Condor

Okay, so. This is a cool fucking bird. Just look at it. M a j e s t i c. Do you know who else is really fucking cool? Ashes. They have so much power. Also condors are beautiful birds. Oh my god. California condors are very graceful fliers. For Ashes, I almost went with the brown falcon - one of “Nature’s arsonists”, but other than arson, it’s a rather boring bird. Just brown. And a falcon. BUT THE CALIFORNIA CONDOR. Now that’s a cool bird. The god of the sky. Actually, in the “research” for this post I found a blog post in 2011 from someone who has genuinely worshipped condors as gods since they were a teenager and honestly? Valid. (disclaimer; I am aware that many native cultures worship animals and nature, however I don’t feel qualified to talk about that. I don’t mean any harm by this post.)

DrumBot Brian: Shoebill Stork

Well. I did have a rather difficult time finding a bird that has a complex set of moral values. Who would’ve thought?? I did almost use a praying mantis, just for a little variety. I’ve never met someone who wouldn’t rip off the head of their lover. BUT ANYWAYS. Here we have Brian the Shoebill Stork. He looks so nice. But he will not hesitate to decapitate your baby crocodile. Also very patient!! Like a dinosaur! This bird has the most complex set of moral values of any bird I could find in about thirty seconds. If Brian didn’t decapitate so many young crocodiles there would be much too many! Too many crocodiles! The horror! I’ve also seen a gif of Boring Brian delicately picking up a duckling and placing it back down. Dunno what happened after, though. Don’t ask. Apparently the shoebill stork makes “machine-gun noises” which I think Jonny would enjoy fucking around with. A place that I forgot to write down reportedly called the bird “Abu-Markhub” meaning “father of the slipper” which,,,, yeah.

Raphaella la Cognizi: Kea

Also known as the “clown of the alps”, the Kea resides in the mountains, as the only alpine parrot. Pretty cool. I want to be a clown. But like, a cool clown - not one that hides in a sewer and eats children… Anyways, I’m getting off topic. The kea is the smartest bird I could find. Raphaella is the science officer of the Aurora so it seemed fitting. Look at this photo. That’s science at work! Kea can use basic tools! And reportedly have the intelligence of a four-year-old child! That’s pretty smart! Also it has wings! Raph has wings! Apparently kea enjoy attacking sheep, dogs, horses, etc. and just generally fuck around with people. Imagine what this bird could do with opposable thumbs…

Marius von Raum: Victoria Crowned Pigeon

My criteria for Bird Marius was essentially a stupid looking bird with a ridiculously long name. I was originally going to go with the King of Saxony Bird of Paradise solely for the name (just look at it! It’s so dumb! Who the fuck is the king of saxony!) however it bored me. So! Here we have Doctor Baron Marius von Raum as the Victoria Crowned Pigeon (also sometimes referred to as the Blue Crowned Pigeon). Genuinely, this was my favourite bird as a child. I fucking love this funky little bastard. Apparently, it’s the largest pigeon species in the world and can grow to be the size of a turkey. A turkey! What the fuck! This bird thinks it’s all that. (I mean, it’s not wrong). It was named after Queen Victoria but like,,,,, Fuck The Monarchy. Also eats a lot of figs. The bird - not the queen. Or maybe the queen I dunno. Marius seems like the kind of person who hates figs but eats them anyways so he doesn’t feel inferior to the Fig Lord. How the fuck is this bird not extinct yet.

Ivy Alexandria: Common Raven

Ivy Alexandria, the Common Raven. Ravens are extremely smart! Like seriously - near where I live, there’s an animal shelter with a raven and you can hold a conversation with it. It’s amazing! They also have great memories and hold grudges - so don’t mess with them. Oh! They can also use hand gestures, which for birds is insanely cool! They are the literal “birdbrain”. Sometimes they collect little trinkets, which I think is really sweet. Now, I don’t believe ravens can read but like,,,,, I dunno. I read an article recently about ravens doing “weird things with ants”. Apparently they like to play with them. Ravens have been known to sit in an anthill and let ants crawl all over their feathers for no apparent reason. Now, while nothing has been canonically stated involving Ivy and ants, you can’t prove Ivy doesn’t go sit and hang out with a bunch of ants.

Nastya Rasputina: Andean Potoo

The Andean Potoo is the most mysterious breed of the seven or so potoo species; almost nothing is known other than their vague appearance and their stomach contents (large insects like beetles and grasshoppers, if you were interested). While we do know quite a bit about Nastya, I thought this bird fit her pretty well. In answer to the question “Are potoos friendly?” a website said: “The short answer is ‘no’. The slightly longer answer is ‘it depends’.” This sounds like Nastya and her lesbian spaceship girlfriend. Potoos are VERY good at camouflage; like Nastya in Aurora’s veins?? I dunno, might be a bit of a stretch. They are shy, secretive birds. Sounds fun. Potoos are also VERY good at catching insects and shit. This point might not be relevant, but whatever. Andean potoos might mate for life; scientists don’t know. Let’s say that they do. If Nastya were this bird, she could be eaten by a weasel. Weasels said fuck Nastya rights. Fuck weasels.

The Toy Soldier: Atlantic Puffin

OH MY GOD. I love the Toy Soldier. The Atlantic Puffin. I don’t have many reasons for this one other that IT’S ADORABLE. This is my favourite bird. Just look at it!!! Hnnnnnnn. Baby puffins are called pufflingssssss. Oh my god. Also look up the bird call of the atlantic puffin; it is the best thing ever. Puffins are very sociable birds and live in like giant flocks or something. They’re very neat birds and also waterproof! Like wood! They shed the outer layer of their beaks once a year! Like wood! They live in burrows! Like wood! They can hold a fuck ton of fish in their beaks! Like wood! They have a really fucking wierd tongue! Like wood!

BONUS: Dr. Carmilla: Lammergier (Bearded Vulture)

Do I know anything about Dr. Carmilla? Nope! I think she’s a vampire but like???? Anyways, just look at this bird. It’s pretty self-explanatory. The Lammergeier is one Badass Bird. It is one of the largest old-world vultures. I don’t know what that means. It can grow up to four feet tall, though! And has a wingspan between seven and nine feet. That’s a big fucking bird! They have no natural predators, much like a certain immortal vampire (maybe???). It eats primarily bone and bone marrow and has a nasty habit of carrying off lambs, calves, and dead children. Remind you of the Good Doctor and her Band? Probably not. I bet Jonny has eaten at least one dead child, though. The lammergeier can also live up to the ripe old age of 45 (old in bird years?). Supposedly a lammergeier killed the greek playwright Aeschelus by mistaking his large bald head for a rock and dropping a turtle on it. Sounds very Carmilla. BUT WAIT I HAVEN’T GOTTEN TO THE BEST PART. This bird dies it’s fur the colour of blood to look more intimidating! Supposedly this is a mark of status, as well. That’s one badass bird!!!

WELL THAT WAS AN ADVENTURE. A useless adventure, sure. Fuck you. I had fun.

[clareisa]

Monsta X Reaction - Friend Sent Them A Nude On Accident

♥Hello, darling! Thank you so much for requesting! I’m for sure not the best but I appreciate it so much! Please, enjoy!♥

- gifs are not mine, credits to rightful owners

- English is not my first language, so please let me kindly know if I did a mistake

Shownu:

The most understanding and discreet. He would totally understand that something like that can happen on accident and would never tease you about it. You can be sure that he will take this secret to his grave because he won't tell it to anyone. And plus he will even bust your self-esteem.

You and Hyunwoo were good friends and you were texting almost every day just talking about your days or giving each other advice. You wanted to send him some pictures but you accidentally clicked on your private picture that was right next to it. As you saw it you immediately called him and with anxiety, you were waiting for him to pick up.

"Oh my! Hyunwoo, please, please, don't look at your phone!" you immediately said when he picked up.

"Too late." he said on monotone voice.

"Ughhh! Please! I'm so sorry! You weren't supposed to see that." you whined and you were dying from embarrassment.

"Hey, hey. It's okay. I know it was an accident. You can be sure no one will know about it and I already delete it. " he said and now his voice was more calming and warm.

"Thank you! You are the best friend I could wish for." you sighed with a smile on your face. You were ready to hang up when he said the last thing.

"I don't know why you always put yourself down. You are absolutely amazing human. And from what I saw in your message, you are an unbelievably beautiful woman." he said and hang up. You couldn't help but smile to yourself thinking about his words more and more.

Wonho:

Hoseok might seem like a man who could always have women around him and act like a jerk. But despite thousands of women swooning over him Hoseok always had respect and be a little naive. So when you sent your nude on accident he was shocked but flustered as well.

You were feeling extra confident that evening and took a couple of pics of your naked body. Your friend texted you in the middle of your little photoshoot and you sent him your pic on the accident. You saw that and you screamed in fear. How could something like that happen to you? Hoseok wasn't messaging back and you feared the worst. After some seconds your phone started ringing and his name appeared on the screen.

You took a deep breath and answered it. "Yes?" you asked with a small voice.

"You improved. I see you are enjoying the gym." Hoseok said. "W-what?" you were confused. "Y-you are... a beautiful woman Y-Y/N." Hoseok stuttered. "And I ... I'm surprised that you like me that much."

"No no! Hoseok that was on accident!" you quickly said. “Oh...” you heard his somehow now a sad voice. “I’m sorry that I disturbed.” he said quietly. 

“Wait!” you said. “You can keep it if you like it.” you whispered. 

You couldn't see it but Hoseok bit his lip and closed his eyes trying to stop the nasty things that were going through his head. 

Minhyuk:

Minhyuk would be in the middle of a dinner at the dorm when his phone buzzed. He looked and saw your name so he immediately opened it. When he saw your nude he screamed loud and his phone fell down. Be ready for a call with Minhyuk in full panic mode. 

Minhyuk’s buzzed in the middle of the conversation and when he saw your name he smiled and opened his phone. As soon as he saw your naked body he screamed in shock and his phone fell. 

“What’s wrong?” Kihyun asked ready to pick his phone but Minhyuk quickly stopped him and took the phone back to his hands. 

“Nothing! Everything it’s okay!” he shouted.  “Then why are you screaming?” Hyungwon asked. “I... I, I need to do something!” he said and ran to his room. 

He immediately dialled your number and as you picked up his raised voice was heard clearly throught your phone, “Are you crazy??!!!” he shouted. 

“Ouch, Minhyunk. That hurt.” you chuckled, “Why should I be crazy?” you asked cluelessly. 

“You sent me a naked picture! You think that isn’t crazy?!” he said and you gasped. You quickly checked your messages and soon saw what you did. “Oh my! I’m sorry Minhyuk! That was an accident I swear to Lord!” you almost cried. 

“I’m deleting it. It’s our secret, but I won’t see you the same from now on.” he said dramatically but he was blushing madly as he looked at your pic once again. 

Kihyun:

If you would accidentally send your nude to Kihyun be ready for a big scolding from this boy. He would, of course, tell you that you are beautiful (Cuz he can’t help himself, come on he is a human) but will scold you how stupid you are and if it would be someone else than him that it could end up worse.

Kihyun couldn’t believe what he saw when he opened the good morning message to you. He really doesn’t really get how your naked form ended in his messages. 

After a second his phone started ringing and when he saw your name he picked up. “How you could be so careless, huh? Why are you taking such pictures? On top of that, you are sending them to me? I mean, don’t get me wrong you are stunningly beautiful but this is too much!” Kihyun breathed out.  

“Kihyun, please, calm down. It was on accident.” you sighed, “I’m sorry.” 

“You should be. I don’t want to see my best friend naked.” he huffed. “But you just said I’m beautiful.” you said. 

“T-that’s true, but! You shouldn’t send it to me. If it wasn’t me but someone else it could be worse. Don’t be stupid and don’t take such a pics.” he sighed. 

You huffed, “Okay, mom. I promise that won��t happen again.” you said. “Good.” he responded and hang up. 

But you didn’t know that he never deleted your photo. It was actually helping him through some lonely nights of his. Just saying that you should from now on pay attention to the way your best friend is looking you changed. 

Hyungwon:

Confused. But actually kind of flattered. Hyungwon is a logical and most of the time a calm man so yeah, he would be confused but won’t be mad or bothered by that. People make mistakes and he is willing to forgive his best friend for such a faux pas. And maybe actually enjoys your faux pas in the silence.

You were currently chatting with Hyungwon and sending each other memes. You had one older one which was perfect for this situation. But you clicked at the picture next to it which happened to be your own nude. You screamed when you saw that.

You dialled his number and he picked up. “Delete it! NOW! It was an accident! You weren't supposed to see that.” you were panicking. 

“Hey... calm down. I was confused for a second but then I realised that it must be on accident. It’s okay, it’s safe with me. You don’t need to worry at all.” he said in a calm voice. 

“Thank you, Hyungwon. God, I’m so embarrassed.” you chuckled. 

“Don’t need to be. I’m actually flattered. I never knew my friend is such a goddess. “ he chuckled, obviously teasing. 

“Yah! Stop it and delete it!” you said. “It’s already deleted. Don’t worry.” he smiled and hang up. 

But was it deleted? Hell no. Even if you were his best friend he couldn’t help himself and admire your beautiful naked form. 

Jooheon:

Would never actually tell you that he saw your nude. You send it and when you saw what you did, you deleted it immediately. But Jooheon saw the photo and he couldn’t get the image out of his head. Since that time he actually started seeing you more as a woman, not just a best friend. 

You and Jooheon were chatting late at night. Jooheon said that he needs to go to the toilet and he’ll be back in a minute. You wanted to send him a selfie you took but your fingers clicked on the wrong picture. 

You didn’t know that Jooheon already came back and were ready to text you back but when he saw what you sent he froze and couldn’t believe his eyes. After a couple of seconds, you deleted your message and sent a selfie instead. 

Jooheon acted like it never happened but couldn’t stop himself from staring at you all the time since then. “Jooheon is something on my face?” you asked when you caught him staring at you. 

“No! Of course, not! I was just thinking.” he said nervously. You shrugged and let it slide but you noticed that he was always staring at you when you were together. 

“Why are you always staring? You wanna go on date with me?” you joked but his answer surprised you. “Yes!” he said enthusiastically and when you looked at him with wide eyes he blushed.

Changkyun:

Smooth about it. Yes, Changkyun is your best friend but he always admired your beauty and your hot body. He knew you wouldn’t want to have such a relationship with him but he was imagining sometimes. When you accidentally sent him a nude he would set a goal to make you finally his.

You were calling with Changykun while he was on the tour. 

“Wait, I send you a selfie I took today with the new outfit.” you said excitedly. 

You sent it quickly and don’t even look what delivered into Changkyun’s phone.

“Alright, let’s see.” he chuckled as he was about to open your message. 

A long silent moment before you asked, “Is everything okay? You don’t like it?”

He chuckled in a deep voice, “No, I actually love it.” his voice dropped, “But I didn’t know you see me like this, baby.” he said and you were confused. 

“What are you talking about? Is that outfit weird?” you asked. “Outfit? I can’t see any clothes and I’m not bothered by it at all.” he said. 

“WHAT?” you looked at your phone and screamed. “OMG, Changkyun! Delete it!” you shouted. 

“Nope.” he chuckled. “I’m keeping this forever.”  

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

Off Limits (Spencer Reid) #14

Off Limits Masterlist 

Tag List: @on-my-way-to-erebor​ , @haileymorelikestupid​ , @angryknightstatesmantrash​

NOT MY GIF

*******************************************************************************************

It was getting close to 9pm and Spencer still hadn’t returned. Ava had tried contacting him but no answer. She thought he would have given a better reaction than just walking out and leaving without a word. She sat on the couch wrapped in a blanket, watching TV. Smokie cuddled next to her. Finally, she heard a key in the door. She stood and in walked Spencer, a stack of 4 books in his hands. Baby books to be exact.

He smiled sheepishly, “I had to go out and buy baby books… I don’t know much about babies.”  

She was relieved. He hadn’t left her because he didn’t want to raise a baby with her. He’d left so he could buy baby books to raise the baby with her.

He set the books down on the table by the door and walked over to her, the ultrasound photo in his hands. He placed his hand on her stomach and looked at her, “did you know our baby is the size of a strawberry right now?”

She bit her lip, eyes filling with tears and placed her hand over his, “You already read those books, didn’t you?”

Spencer blushed and nodded. She laughed softly.

He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her head, “I love you. And our little strawberry.”

She tightened her arms around his waist, “We love you too.”

~

Spencer couldn’t contain his excitement the next morning as they walked into work. He was carrying the ultrasound picture and as soon as he walked in, he grinned before announcing loudly and excitedly, “I’m going to be a dad!” He held the photo up as he announced it.

Ava blushed and laughed as she stood next to him. She’d told him she wanted to wait to tell everyone till she was farther along, but he insisted. He was ready to tell everyone and couldn’t contain the information.

Everyone was quick to rush over and congratulate them. Morgan was the first to reach the couple.

“Congratulations baby girl!” Morgan exclaims, engulfing her in a hug, picking her off the floor a little.

“Hey now, be easy with her. She’s carrying my baby.” Spencer says, worried.

“Thank you, Morgan.” Ava laughs as Morgan puts her down.

Emily and JJ were next with hugs and congratulations. Then Penelope, “I knew before you did!” She teased, hugging Spencer, “Congratulations, Reid.”

“Wait, you told Garcia before me?” He looked at Ava over Penelope’s shoulder.

Ava shrugged, “I had to figure out some way to tell you.”

Hotch was next with the congratulations, “Congratulations, you two.”

“We’re going to have another Reid running around!” JJ says, looking at the ultrasound picture then at them.

“Lord help us all.” Morgan had mumbled, making the team laugh.

Emily pats Spencer on the back, “It’s going to be so much fun seeing you navigate the ropes as a dad.”

“Has he bought baby books yet?” Hotch asks, patting Spencer on the shoulder.

“I think we already know the answer to that. It’s Spencer.” JJ says.

“After I told him last night, he left right away to buy some. He’d read them all before he even arrived home.” Ava answers.  

“Did y’all know the baby is a size of a strawberry right now?” Spencer states as the team starts to walk back to their desks.

~

Spencer and Ava arrived at the doctor’s office for their 16-week check-up. Today, they would hopefully find out if the baby is a boy or girl.

Spencer helped Ava onto the table, “I bet you it’s a boy.”

“Oh yeah?” Ava asks, looking at him questionably, “I bet it’s a girl.” She smirked.

He shook his head, “The baby book said since you’re craving salty foods, it’s most likely a boy.”

Ava rubs her stomach, “Well, I just have a feeling it’s a girl.”

“I’m happy with a girl or boy. As long as he or she is healthy.” Spencer smiles before kissing her head.

Soon the doctor entered and began the ultrasound, “Everything looks great…”

“Our baby is healthy though. Right? Nothing is showing up on the ultrasound?” Spencer asks the doctor, worried.

“Yes, your baby is perfectly healthy. I see nothing to be alarmed about.” The doctor replies, smiling, “Okay, so, it looks like your baby is big enough to know the gender. Do you want to know?”  

“Yes, please.” Ava replies.

Spencer takes Ava’s hand in his as the doctor swivels the screen to face them, “Well, it looks like you guys are going to be expecting a growing and healthy, baby boy. Congratulations.”  

~

“I still have Henry’s baby clothes and baby stuff. You’re more than welcome to have them.” JJ says. Henry is her 1-year old son.

Ava nods, “That would be great, actually.” Spencer and Ava had returned to work after the doctor’s office and of course, as soon as they walked in, they were bombarded with “Girl or boy?” Spencer was ecstatic to tell them and that he’d been right all along, which they were not surprised about. Her and JJ were sitting in the break room, talking.

“Did you have an issue with certain foods when you were pregnant?” Ava asks, turning her nose up at a smell. Someone had just heated their lunch.

JJ laughs and nods, “It was horrible. I would vomit at the smell of meat. It didn’t matter what kind.”

Ava motioned to her breasts, “These things hurt like a bitch too.”

“Mine blew up like a balloon. I take that back, everything about me blew up like a balloon.”

“I’m not looking forward to that.” Ava groans, “I’m already on the big side. I don’t need to be any bigger!”

“You’re beautiful Ava, stop talking down on yourself.” JJ patted Ava’s hand in a comforting matter, “I thought the same thing. That Will would leave me because I got so big. But you must remember, you’re literally growing another human inside you. There has to be room for that healthy baby boy to grow.”

Ava nods, her eyes filling with tears, she groans, “These hormones! I cry at everything.”

JJ laughs and nods, “Yeah that happens.”

“What are you girls talking about?” Spencer asks, walking in.

“Just pregnancy stuff.” Ava replies, wiping her eyes.

Spencer nods, setting a to-go box in front of Ava, “Here is your pasta.”

Ava looks at JJ, “I’m craving pasta like every minute of the day. I could eat it for breakfast.” Ava and JJ laugh.

~

Ava had finally started showing a nice bump around 20 weeks. Everyone wanted to touch it. It had become some’s routine in the morning. Specifically, Morgan.

“Good morning baby girl, and little man.” Morgan greets, as he walks into the office and over to Ava, patting her stomach and then going to his desk. Morgan had become more protective over Ava since announcing the pregnancy. It was in a friendly way, not romantically. They’d also grown closer as friends.

“I wouldn’t get to comfortable. Hotch just announced you guys were leaving for Minneapolis.” Ava says.

Morgan groans, before picking his bag back up and putting it on the desk, “They in the briefing room?”

“Yup.” Ava replies.

~

A little while later the team walked out of the briefing room to head out. Ava was walking back from the copy room when she felt something strange. It made her stop in her tracks and groan a little. She put her hand on her stomach. Spencer had rushed to her side, “Hey, you okay? What’s wrong?”

Ava shook her head, looking at him, “I’m not sure. I felt something weird-” Just then she felt it again and moved her hand to where she felt it, “There it is again! The baby is kicking!”

“Let me feel.” Spencer’s put his hands where her hands were, his eyes going wide when he felt it again, “He’s kicking.” Spencer smiled looking at Ava, then at the team as they walked up.

“He’s really going at it now.” Ava laughed. The team then took turns to feel the baby kick.

“As much as we would love to stand here and feel the baby kick, we got to go.” Hotch says, motioning to the door, the team follows except for Spencer,

“I’ll meet you guys out there in a minute.”

“I’m glad he did it before you left, so you could feel it.” Ava puts her hand over Spencer’s, who had placed his hand back on her stomach.

“Me too.” Spencer leans down to kiss her, “I’ll call when we land.”

Ava nods, “Be safe, please.” Ava rubs her stomach, “You have two to come home to now.”

Spencer chuckles and nods, “I will be. I love you.” He kisses her one last time before grabbing his bag and heading out after the team.

*******************************************************************************************

xx