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astrolavas · 2 years ago

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Wait that hunter and willow struggle with vulnerabilty essay you mentioned... Hand it over 🫵

KXJSK thank you for enabling my brainrot, let's GO 🫡

okay so, for starters, we all know both hunter and willow tend to hide their vulnerability, push down their feelings and repress a lot, but it's actually super interesting how they do it in completely different ways and for such different reasons.

i've already written one essay about hunter's tendency to do that here, but that was a while ago, so let's refresh it up a little bit with season 3.

hunter lived his entire life in the emperor's coven, as a magicless witch at that, isolated from everyone and manipulated. he got used to ignoring and hiding how he felt, because showing vulnerability in the coven was seen as weakness, and showing his real emotions could have genuinely very very bad consequences for him. especially with him having no magic, he was already disrespected and seen as lesser by everyone (for example, the covenheads) but he yearned to be respected, to be treated well, equally; so he couldn't afford to show any vulnerability there. and when it came to showing negative feelings near belos... well. that especially had the potential to take a dark turn really fast; to provoke belos to do something. it was genuinely dangerous for him to express his emotions, it wasn't safe for him at all. he could NOT do it.

his golden guard persona also comes into play here and it's SO interesting how he uses it. masking (in a literal, psychological AND metaphorical sense); using it to feel braver, to act more confident. taking on a role of the emperor's trusted right-hand man instead of the lonely kid that he was. all this... well, surrounded by that hurtful mentality and hostile coven environment, he had to do it; to be more respected, to be able to do things that he had to do, to actually FUNCTION. it was a necessity for his survival.

but here's the thing, he likes to think of himself as a more of a practical/logical/rational thinker, and he IS in general, that is true, but he actually DOES act based on his emotions and moral compass quite often. he's also really good at reading and analyzing people, and immediately getting them. he's oblivious to some things but overall he's emotionally smart, and very very insightful and perceptive....... it might be sth he's naturally skilled at, but he also definitely had to learn it; had to know how to read belos' mood and probably learnt all the little things he had to watch out for on some days, all the little signs to stop talking or look away. all that was, once again, for his own safety. BUT OKAYKXJSKK we're accidentally going off course here so let's go back slightly- hunter is also VERY expressive (which makes sense considering he wore a mask most of the time. ............. also hyper-expressive autism #real #so true—) so oftentimes his emotions are actually (no matter how hard he tries to hide or deny them) well visible on his face, before he manages to school them; although that also depends on the exact emotion he's feeling, some are more visible than others. so this is interesting, how he simultaneously automatically represses/hides some of his feelings and manifests them as something else but also feels everything so intensely and is such an open book based on his initial facial expressions. both of these facts coexist.

so, vulnerability. we already know hunter has trouble expressing his emotions at times. he loves to pretend he's okay when he clearly isn't; and it takes a LOT for him to open up to someone. he only really lets himself be truly emotionally vulnerable next to people he fully trusts and feels safe with, it doesn't come to him with ease.

that's why his scene with luz in the forest shack's basement is so important. that ENTIRE scene, actually. we can really see how much they've grown to trust each other, how safe they feel in each other's presence. what they had going on with their secret-keeping was not really fully healthy at the time, because they kept comforting each other from their VERY similar perspectives/stances, which just further locked in their mentality of "oh they'll hate both of us when they find out our secrets"; they were ensuring each other's fears by relating to each other; it was a circle. but nevertheless, they still cared about each other and have grown to care about each other even more throughout the few months.

here, hunter managed to admit that he was scared. he felt comfortable enough to admit his vulnerability like that to luz since they've grown closer and truly trusted each other with this. he's grown SO much.

and then... the crying scene. i am not exaggerating when i say this is SUCH an important moment for hunter's character, as well as a perfect insight into his dynamic with luz. especially since the thing that jumpstarted his cry was luz telling him he's family now, and that she wants to ensure he's safe too... all his emotions coming to the surface, him finally not managing to keep stuff in, allowing himself to be vulnerable like that next to someone, actually crying and letting it out instead of holding it in or distancing himself in order to go through it alone... it was a big step for him, and it perfectly illustrated just how much he's grown. and the way luz responded to it was also so thoughtful. she was extremely tired and depressed herself, but she still showed worry. she knew hunter needed space to let it all out and avoided crowding him, since jumping at him with worry and questions and hugs would only make it worse and freak him out, but she initiated a delicate half-hug after a moment, non-verbally expressing her care.

but moving on!

now, let's focus on hunter post-flapjack's death.

it's a big, traumatic event that affects and shakes him a LOT. he doesn't feel good, he doesn't feel happy, and that predictably results in the same thing as always..... hunter repressing his negative feelings and masking them as anger. prioritizing helping others and focusing on a mission at hand. not being sure if he's okay or how he feels or how to express what he feels when someone asks.

this is the behaviour we've ALWAYS seen from him in such situations. in season 2a, when he's just generally unhappy even if he doesn't realize it, and appears as angry and irritable... and in labyrinth runners, when he lives alone while dealing with serious life events; distances himself from everything and everyone, and then tries to act as if nothing had happened, and isn't sure HOW to express/talk abt his feelings, prefers to focus on someone/something else instead. andddd at the end of thanks to them after flapjack's death! when he immediately asks if everyone else is okay and jumps in to comfort luz and focuses on taking belos down; on a task. JUST... AUGHH! he prefers to push through his feelings cuz it's a defense mechanism, the same one he's been using in the past; in the coven. it allowed him to survive, and such instinct is not something that's easy to abandon.

so, this entire pattern is so, so clear in how he acts in for the future too. he tries to mask his grief and sadness with anger and coldness. he keeps pushing people (and palismen) away, distancing himself from others, acting irritable, focusing solely on the mission at hand, just wanting to find belos immediately; thinking about literally anything but flapjack or what happened just a few hours prior, cuz it hurts too much to think about it. the sadness and other emotions that accompany him as a result of flapjack's death keep sneaking up on him in random moments, but he fights not to let them through fully. he cannot allow himself to break down right now.

but then, he's alone for a moment, and he allows himself to feel some vulnerability here. he's overwhelmed by what's happening and misses flapjack. and, as always, he doesn't know what to say. he feels everything so intensely inside but he has no idea how to express that on the outside, he doesn't know how to put everything that he thinks and feels into proper words; how to accurately communicate everything he wants to communicate to gus and willow. he struggles with that.

but just like willow had her arc of repression (to be talked about in a second) and finally realized she can rely on other people too and allowed herself to show feelings and vulnerability instead of letting it all consume her from the inside out, hunter similarly let himself show some of that vulnerability to his friends. in the span of that moment, driven by pure instinct and his love for his friends, he managed to put what he'd always wanted to say into words.

he also realized that flapjack is always going to be a part of him in a way (both literally and metaphorically), even when he's not actually there, and it brought him some comfort at last... it didn't heal him or got rid of his grief ofc, there's a long journey ahead of him, but it helped him with the first step of dealing with grief and accepting what had happened.

now, when we compare how he is with feelings right now to how he was at the beginning of the series, he's truly grown so much. he's always gonna somewhat struggle with expressing his emotions and vulnerability, but now that he's surrounded by people who care about him, whom he trusts with his life, who he doesn't fear being vulnerable around, it's going to be so much easier for him. of course, there are always going to be instances where something bad happens and he represses again; his defense mechanism and trauma response aren't going to just instantly disappear like that. but he has people he can be his true self around now, people he can confide in; it's going to help him a lot. and he's going to continue growing, and developing as a person.

.....yeah! okay, now... willow time!!

willow's repression arc has always been always kinda sprinkled in and hinted at throughout the duration of the series. we know she was bullied for a significant amount of time and it affected her confidence a lot, but it also made her repress and push down her feelings.

i'd say her arc almost had... two parts to it. the first one was her coming out of her shell, gaining confidence and embracing her strength. the second one: her struggle with vulnerability and repressing feelings.

meeting luz and transferring to plant track was what definitely helped her with the confidence problem. she flourished (lol) after she was allowed to embrace her interests and strengths. but what remained, was that willow saw her insecurity and emotions as her weaknesses. she even said it herself, she most of all wants to protect everyone she loves (similar to hunter actually), and all-together that resulted in her shutting herself off and just focusing on others' feelings. wanting to be reliable for her friends, seeing herself as the "strong one" in the group; the rock. the mature one.

always pretending she's okay and fine with everything, putting a smile on her face through it all. because after all, she doesn't want others to worry about her, right? (she did it for all emotions too, basically)

especially if we take into account that she was bullied and seen as inferior to others for years + her entire past with amity + just in general her history with the abomination track and the expectations from her dads regarding it, all of it was trauma for willow and she ended up with the need to hide her feelings (something she saw as her weakness/flaws/weak spots) as a coping mechanism. she hated being seen as weak, and after she gained more confidence in herself, that feeling only grew.

in for the future, we could see just how much the suppression was affecting her. she still tried to be cheerful, dependable, not bothering anyone with her own worries, trying to make others feel better. but with each next moment, every feeling of hers builds up more and more, until finally it cannot be contained anymore. and explodes.

her magic is actually also a great metaphor/illustration of her feelings suppression. whenever willow's especially feeling things, we can always see how her magic reacts too it, how her emotions manifest through it. and this scene in ftf is a great visual representation of it; how the vines slowly cover her until she's completely buried under them. how helpless she feels. man...

but at last, she allows herself to let her feelings out. she's assured that she's not any worse for it, told that reliable people can rely on others as well. she lets all her worries and fears and thoughts and vulnerability finally show, instead of letting it all consume her from the inside out. it's such a turning moment for her. because from then on, she's shown to genuinely express more emotions and not depend entirely on herself, now that she's aware it doesn't make her any less strong. she's assured none of her friends are gonna think any less of her, or to see her as weak, and that's good.

actually, another thing i wanna bring up is willow being saved and bridal-carried by hunter in this scene.

could she have saved herself? yes, most likely, just like she did in any sport in a storm, when she was still suppressing any weaknesses of hers and relying on herself only. if hunter hadn't teleported to save her, she'd probably do just that. but this little moment is actually such a good illustration of how now that she's allowing herself to depend on others too (instead of just be dependable), she allows herself to be saved. when she needs it.

see, this is actually the thing i've seen lots of people confused about because "willow is independent, she wouldn't want to be saved" and... that actually confuses me, because it truly misses the very core of her character arc.

the point is that she CAN take care of herself and she wants others (especially people who see her as weak) to know that and to not underestimate her abilities (just like we've seen in labyrinth runners, for example). but, at the same time, she also wasn't allowing herself to take her guard off or to be saved by others for a long time exactly for that same reason; because she didn't want to be seen as weak anymore. she wanted to be seen as only strong and independent, to the point where she deemed any weakness of hers as bad.

like, that's the entire point of her character, her repressing negative feelings then finally allowing herself to open up and be more vulnerable (+ realizing it doesn't make her any less strong). she doesn't hate being saved necessarily, she hates being seen as inferior and weak and incompetent. for example, willow hated when amity constantly tried to save her in labyrinth runners instead of letting her take care of things herself or acknowledging her strengths because it made her think amity thought she was not capable of protecting herself. because it was amity saving her from the smallest things. it made her feel disrespected, as if she was called weak right to her face.

now... hunter never saw willow as weak, ever, and he knows perfectly well that she can take care of herself. he respects her and likes her in her entirety, both for her strength as well as her softer, more vulnerable side. BUT in moments when he thinks she does need protecting or saving, he doesn't hesitate to do so. and now that willow has let herself be more vulnerable and realized she can let herself rely on others more, she clearly appreciates and doesn't mind it whatsoever.

the mutual trust and respect is the actual key point in hunter and willow's relationship; they both know each of them are strong and skilled and able to protect themselves, but they also know each others' vulnerabilities and want to protect each other when a situation actually calls for it. both willow and hunter want the ppl they care abt (each other included) to be safe and they will protect them when they need it, but neither of them would like... completely discredit someone's abilities to stay safe on their own. so when it comes to willow's strength complex, hunter knows when willow can take it cuz he respects her and trusts her abilities, but when she actually needs it, he'll gladly save and protect her as his priority; but not in frivolous instances when she can take care of herself. and she will do the same for him.

so yeah!

tldr; it's actually super cool how both willow and hunter repress their feelings a lot and prioritize others over themselves but it manifests in such different ways and comes from slightly different circumstances/reasonings for each of them.

willow more-so feels like she has to be the more mature one in the group, and she pretends she's okay and fine and focuses on how others are feeling instead of herself cuz she wants to be dependable and hates showing weakness or being seen as weak. whereas, hunter isn't sure how to express himself and when he feels negative things, they manifest as anger/irratibility. he prefers to focus on some productive task instead and he prefers to distance himself from others, and it also all comes down to how he grew up in the coven and how he was raised by belos. like it's... SO interesting how they both do something so similar at its core but so differently.

#i don't have a phd in willow's character though so i can't write as much abt her as i can abt hunter kxjsk but yEA... it's all so neat to me #toh #the owl house #my toh talk #hunter #willow #nicole answers #Anonymous

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funzige-gedachten · 7 days ago

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nu jere (en kä crew) doen 🦈🦈🦈

Heheheh thank you so much for enabling my autism to go on about sharks hhehehdhsh

Jere: blacktip reef shark

These guys are very easily recognisable by their little spots at the end of their fins. They’re relatively smaller sharks and tend to be quite curious about things, but not generally agressive. Sometimes they jump out of the water to get over corals which is very cool.

Häärijä: sicklefin lemon shark

These guys get their name for their yellowy skin!! That is so fun!!!! These are one of the bigger types of reefsharks. Theyre a little shyer than the blacktips are and they prefer to live in a little murkier waters over clear sandy flats.

Jesse: nurse shark

Nurse sharks are really cute and really sweet guys. They are nocturnal so in the day they tend to sleep in safe spots with their friends. If you have ever watched a documentary about sharks, these are the guys that always show up before any of the other sharks, since they’re so curious to find out what is going on.

The daltons: grey reef sharks

These sharks, like many reef sharks, live in big families! Theyre quite similar to the blacktips but without the black tip on their dorsal(the big top one) fin. Theyre very fast and agile and very social!! Like many other sharks, they carry their eggs in something similar to a womb.

Mr bodyguard: bullshark

These are often characterized as one of the more aggressive species of shark, the majority of shark attacks are caused by this guy sadly. They can live in both sweet and salt waters! They sometimes swim into things like a bull like a bull in a bull fight. I really enjoy their smooth shape and silly face :)

#heheheheheh i love sharks #i thought about these all night causing me to not sleep that well bit its okay i could thing of sharks :)#käärijä #jere pöyhönen #häärijä #jesse voss #the daltons #mr bodyguard #shark #sharks

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myrthing · 8 months ago

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I am James Somerton.

or, This Is Not A Defence of James Somerton Because He Fucking Sucks

The thing I've been thinking about since I watched Folding Idea's unlisted video about Somerton's second apology yesterday is how much I recognised myself in Dan's analysis of James, and how conflicted I've felt since then.

I should start by saying that as a Swedish lesbian woman with autism, ADHD and MDD, who has neither college degrees nor work experience, but who does have scruples, burnout, a sense of responsibility, some talents (if no way to consistently use them), a desire to create, basic financial sense, and a living parent who can read; I'm actually not like James Somerton at all.

But those are really rather superficial differences, aren't they? What got me thinking is the line with which Folding Idea ends his video:

"Ambition without actions and avenues to achieve them are called fantasies."

That is both an accurate analysis of James Somerton's personal failings, and a summary of me. The ambition to be something without the ability to put in the work needed to succeed. A deep-rooted optimism about how things will always work out in the end, somehow.

In James's case, this is currently demonstrated by his unwavering conviction that he will be able to return to YouTube. He hasn't considered the alternative. I don't think he can—the idea that he has permanently destroyed his chances of being a youtuber is too big, too real, so instead of engaging with that reality, he pretends to himself that he can't see it. Out of sight, out of mind. Literally, apparently, if we take James's account of his TBI at face value.

I want many, many things. I have many, many ideas. I would like to be a successful [anything]. I have imagined myself in many careers, from freelance editor to self-published author to youtuber. Anything that would, like James, enable me to work from home. It's partially desperation: after all, how else would I get a job as a disabled woman in her mid-30s who has never been employed and who can't go back to school?

I'm also loath to the idea of doing work. Self-employment is hard and it requires dedication. I would like to have already achieved my success, thank you very much. None of us can say what the reasons are behind James's unwillingness to work (although laziness is certainly not unlikely). For me, though? It's probably a combination of certain autism symptoms that I've dealt with since I was a child, and the burnout I suffered from in high school. Those aren't excuses, they're embarrassing weights I carry around to remind me of why I'm a failure.

This is what has been on my mind because of Somerton. I found myself not empathising with him, but recognising certain attitudes as a mid-30s adult with a disability (between the TBI and epilepsy as Somerton describes them, he certainly qualifies as disabled) who has been largely shielded from consequences. Although James certainly also seems willfully ignorant of his actual faults in a way I don't think I am. If nothing else I do know how to genuinely apologise. And I can cite sources! I know how to do that even without completing though school or managing even one term in university!

My mother—who can read, thank you very much—would eviscerate me if didn't. Besides, I entered fandom shortly after Cassie Clare's plagiarism scandal. It was instructional.

This is a goddamn ramble, so I'm going to end this by putting all cards on the table, and admit I actually have one (more) thing in common with James Somerton:

My dad, you see, can't read.

Because he's dead. I'M SORRY I'M NOT SORRY I CAN'T NOT MAKE THESE JOKES HE DIED WHEN I WAS TWO

#james somerton #autism #myling: just that impossible to shut the fuck up

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kafus · 11 months ago

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ok i've decided i want to infodump about vee and nova a little after all! because uhh not only am i impatient because autism but i also. want to dip my toes into talking about this. just days ago i was still terrified but now i am Tentatively Brave... if i can talk about it here casually like this then i should be able to write a more formal summary later some other time

i've tagged this post appropriately (at least i think i have, feel free to suggest if i should add more) but also a heads up here too before i keep talking that while i'm not going into graphic detail on anything there are STRONG themes of organized sexual abuse of a child, sexual abuse of animals, and grooming! (there are no disturbing visuals in this post, just text)

IF YOU CAN'T READ THIS POST THAT'S OKAY I STILL LOVE U

takes a deep breath alright so the deal with these two. back all the way in 2021, i decided i wanted to make "vent ocs" as in i just wanted some concrete/consistent designs i could use in vent art drawings that weren't a direct reflection of what i envision myself to look like or whatever. i was going through a lot in 2021, in december 2020 i had just gotten my first big repressed memory back and my life was in a whirlwind of change and heavily increased PTSD and DID symptoms, so i was using art a lot as an outlet. in the end i settled on this drawing, based on the design taste i would have had as a young person (god the quality is so old now LOL i've improved a lot but anyway)

i was intending for these two to be just visual designs and nothing more than that but i got attached and actually ended up giving them a whole storyline and everything, which is something i admittedly hadn't done in a long time up to that point so that's cool.

the reason i preface explaining the premise of the storyline with this is because i think it's important to acknowledge that these two are intrinsically tied with my real life and the feelings i experience as a CSA/OA survivor. not because i think someone has to go through awful things to write or draw about them necessarily, but because i am passionate about expressing myself. it's important for me to be seen in some way, to be heard after years of silence. it is not safe for me mentally to share the exact details of my abuse online rn (and please don't ask for them!) but i also don't want these two to be removed from the message that i survived something and this is me making art about that in an abstracted and magical way with a fictional universe that brings me a lot of comfort. i hope this makes sense lol

oh and also with that in mind if you think for even a second any of this is a weird sex thing for me or some shit please stop reading this post and go do something else with your time. this is my trauma expression and i don't need to be compared to the people i was abused by when i was a literal toddler thank you!

AANYWAY so! premise! gonna be point blank with it! vee (not her original name but shh) is born as a normal 100% human girl, aka without the eevee ears and tail. she is groomed from a very young age (like, toddler age) and eventually abducted by her groomers which happen to be members of... well right now it's team rocket because i haven't spent the time to worldbuild a new villainous pokemon organization yet. roll with me here. she is taken to a remote facility out in the middle of fucking nowhere and is never returned to her previous life or family.

Why? well i'm glad you asked! the org is running a bunch of different experiments in this facility and one of them happens to be trying to enable humans reproducing with pokemon. this doubles as both a money thing and a power thing. they seek out a child as the victim of these horrible experiments because children are easily malleable. way easier to control a child than an adult who already has a firm identity/self.

vee is the child they chose. surgery is forcibly done on her to give her working eevee ears and tail, and also like, fuck with her body chemistry and stuff. she's biologically part eevee now. yes this is bullshit pokemon magic science LMAO but she is kept in this facility and chronically sexually abused for a few years by pairing her with various mons and trying to get eggs to happen.

the experiment isn't working though so they hypothesize that giving her a dedicated partner, especially of the same evolutionary line, would help, and they raise nova from birth as an eevee to take on that role. eventually the two of them are paired together. despite the acts they are forced to commit on each other and the abuse they endure, they actually become inseparable very quickly cause like. they don't have anyone else. and also they just genuinely care about each other. additionally at this point nova has evolved into an espeon and has telepathic powers, so him and vee can communicate linguistically with each other, so you know that helps

generally my current focus of this story is in the early years, when vee is 12 and younger, before they start realizing that shit is fucked up and they need to escape (up until that hypothetical point they have been successfully groomed into believing everything happening to them was not abuse/was normal). i have left out a metric fuckton of detail here just to get across the basic premise. i am constantly exploring vee's psyche, nova's psyche, it's like an in depth exploration of the mind of an abused child in horrific circumstances and god it's cathartic. i love these two so fucking much

btw i guess this art has more context now huh haha after i infodumped off the plot to my sister they looked at this art again and was like. OHHH THIS IS EVEN MORE OMINOUS AND HARD TO LOOK AT WITH CONTEXT. AND I WAS LIKE YEAH!!!! YOU SEE THE VISION!!! THE SYMBOLISM!! ETC!!!!

uh yeah if you read this far thank you and i just wanna say i've been building up the courage to talk about these two for GENUINELY two years, it has been over 2 full years since that initial drawing, and i am nervous and jittery posting this but i do not want to die without having shared my work with the world and i'm willing to take the risks to get my voice out there. so you reading it is very much appreciated ur like my first step into being more confident as a survivor lol

oh and fwiw despite these guys being so correlated with my trauma it's not offensive to make headcanons or ask me questions about them or compliment darker art of them however you want, in fact i love that shit!! please i've been holding these guys back for two years i have so much to say that hasn't been said. as much as i am nervous i am EXCITED

#sa tw #mind control tw #csa tw #oa tw #abuse tw #this post is a bit of a mess sorry!#this is why im sort of “drafting” my summary as a stream of consciousness infodump #i need to tackle having the confidence talking about this first #just get it out no matter how messy #and THEN i can clean it up and present it in an artistically pleasing way #kiki was here #kiki.txt #vee & nova

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arwasis · 5 months ago

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My name is Amal Muhaisen , a Palestinian residing in Gaza. I urgently seek assistance to evacuate my family of nine to Egypt. Over the past four months, we have been displaced from north to south Gaza following the complete destruction of our home. Funds collected through this campaign will be used to facilitate their exit through the Rafah crossing. Your contribution will significantly impact their lives and ensure their safety during this period. We have endured significant losses during the ongoing war on Gaza, including family members and the total destruction of our home in the northern area. Currently, we reside in a tent in the southern part, having lost all means of livelihood like many other Palestinian families. We are facing unimaginable circumstances, lacking essential food and medicine, and constantly living in fear for our safety and that of our children. My son has suffered repeated injuries during the conflict, and his condition worsens due to the scarcity of medication and the lack of proper medical care. However, the most challenging aspect is the situation of my son Fares, who suffers from autism. Fares was receiving necessary care and support, making significant progress in his development. However, the war disrupted everything. Medical care ceased, essential medications became unavailable, significantly impacting Fares's condition. He can no longer access the treatment he needs, increasing our worry and despair about his future. Fares is not just a war victim; he represents thousands of Palestinian children suffering from its devastating effects. My family comprises nine individuals, five adults, and four children. Your generosity and support can make a significant difference in saving their lives. The only way out of Gaza is through the Rafah crossing, requiring a fee of $6,000 per adult and $3,000 per child. Every donation, regardless of its size, will contribute to securing their safe passage from Rafah to a more stable environment in Egypt." "Regardless of its size, your contribution will help secure their safe passage from Rafah to a more stable environment in Egypt. Your kindness will provide them with an opportunity to rebuild their lives and renew hope for the future. Today, I stand before you not as a victim or a weakling, but as a displaced person searching for a livelihood, medical care, and a safe haven for her family. We are in desperate need of your support to escape this hell and start a new life away from fear and suffering. Your contribution will be a lifeline for us, enabling us to break free from the perilous conditions we endure. I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support and contributions. Amal".

#palestine #gaza genocide #gaza #free palestine #فلسطين #save the children #save gaza #palestine will be free #free gaza #save palestine #rafah #save rafah #all eyes on rafah #رفح تباد #غزة #رفح #معبر رفح

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pineapple-psychic · 10 months ago

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i made a pjo/psych crossover

thanks to @autism-criminal for enabling me

Shawn Spencer, son of Hecate

henry and hecate hooked up once; thinking maddie finds out and its part of the reason for the divorce

this means shawn has real psychic powers!! yay!!

because hes a child of a titan, not a god, less monsters came after him so he was doing good until 18, when he ran away

him and gus looked out for each other :] bc of course henry cant see the monsters (and didnt know abt camp halfblood)

Burton 'Gus' Guster, son of Apollo

because pharmaceuticals and the god of medicine

absolutely HATES snakes. worse than dead bodies

i think itd be really funny to give him both the natural healing and the plagues powers because that would give him such a crisis

gus tries to go to college, but without the additional protection its more dangerous so he doesnt finish before asking shawn for help

shawn tells him abt this camp he found and whoo! shawngus in new york! (ik santa barbara is The City on Psych but listen theyre in pjo now)

Carlton Lassiter, son of Ares

this is mostly because of his obsession with guns, landmines, and the civil war

basically the only ares kid who gets along with athena kids. probably wishes he was one

and of course he HATES magic because it doesnt make sense so bam instant rivalry with shawn

part of the reason he doesnt get along with his mother is because of being lied to about his parentage, cause his stepdad is a dick and he wouldve been glad to know they werent related

Juliet O'Hara, daughter of Athena

pissed off at her parentage. she loves athena but she hates knowing that shes related to frank and not her mom

gets along great w lassie cause he may be an ares kid but hes not incredibly stupid like most of them

hates spiders of course

she joined the camp rather early in her life, because frank knew about the camp and she wanted to get away from him. ironic huh

Chief Karen Vick, child of Athena

they left the camp when they could to become a police officer up to chief, then returned to help Chiron out as a co-camp director because Mr. D does absolutely nothing

this way them and juliet are half siblings :D

Woodrow Strode, unknown

kinda just showed up one day

no one knows if hes a demigod or like a sighted mortal but he is just there

lives in the woods

hangs around the hades cabin a lot because death. also the Vibes

Busby 'Buzz' McNab, son of Demeter

can you imagine him tending to the gardens?? all 6'7 of him??? yes

also because buzz. bees. plants. demeter

i have basically no notes on him sorry

anyway im so wise. take my word as law (joking. do not do that)

#psych #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #shawn spencer #burton guster #carlton lassiter #juliet o'hara #chief vick #woody strode #buzz mcnab #🍍

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antirqclover · 6 months ago

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HII!! welcome to this clove's blog!!!

id hoard

plantkin (cloves, clover, water lily)

pro transid & pro para but ANTI RADQUEER

i have autism, bipolar, npd, and more

im a paraphile and i use transids

tagging system and the ramble tm under the cut

🍀;; yapyapyap (talking)

🍃;; heyy (asks)

🌿;; opinions (yapping abt identity or stances)

🌱;; eewwww (rq related)

☘️;; stuff (media)

I USED TO BE NAGISAISM!!!! lmfao yes i used to be that crazy bitch. while saying that the radqueer community groomed and enabled me isnt an excuse for anything i said or did, its an explanation, and i know the only thing i can do atp is say that im sorry and that ive grown. i was an awful person, and if you supported me/still support my past actions please dont come NEAR ME thank you. i want to use this account to talk about my experiences in the community, and also to surround myself with people who arent part of that echo chamber. thx for reading this.

#anti radqueer #anti rq #anti radshit #anti radpara #anti rq 🌈🍓#anti 🌈🍓#pro transid #pro para #paraphile community

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dysfunctionaldogdude · 5 days ago

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You have cursed yourself with rambling. This may also lowkey be a vent but I'm unsure. Also hihi!

Autism support needs are hard for me to understand. To be fair a lot is. I had to rant to another mutual about it.

I can't live on my own or get a job or drive. I rely on our mother a lot for things and like.. With taking care of myself I only know how to like. Cook small things, some hygiene (but I still struggle LOTS) and like.. Idk

I also dropped out of high school. 🥲

I'm thankful for everyone else though!! My headmates I mean. Tbf we all struggle but like. Better all of us help each other than me being alone??

(Also I was just crying about Peridot but she's fine so whoops)

- Yellow (giving you nickname perms /at all of you)

[I hope you don't mind us answering this publicly - we can private it if needed]

I'm not an expert in autism - I think we might have it [so AuDHD] but we are a psychology student and plan to go get a degree for it [for criminal profiling and such]

I get that, I have pretty bad anxiety so I haven't learned to drive and I can't ride a bike for the life of me [I want to learn but like urgh been through bad accidents / family has been hospitalized before]

I REALLY wish we could help you with cooking!! We love cooking and baking and know how to make a lot of stuff due to needing to help my parents to make meals as I got older

I could maybe give you instructions on how to cook quick easy meals, like FULL meals that can be healthy and balanced [and portioned nicely!]. For a treat I can also send my mom's banana bread recipe if you like that kinda stuff it's really yummy and easy to make [Mostly mixing then waiting]

For hygiene we actually use to struggle with it badly! Now we don't really [other than the occasional day or two] We use an app called "Finch" it's like a small motivation task app where you can go adventures with a little bird [a finch] :) mine is called Pancake - She's currently visiting Cairo!

This is what the homepage looks like and you can see some of my tasks! [And Pancake!] This app has been a BIG help and keeps it fun by the dress up options, collecting micropets and customizing her tree house!

You can set any task you need and set which days you want them to pop up! Also if you enable notifications you can get a notification for the task if you set a time to receive a notification! :) helps me remember to check in on her

Also it sucks you dropped out :( ngl the only reason we haven't is me being a stubborn mule and family pressure [hence why I'm going to college for something I'll be able to focus on and not suck - I love learning about psychology - and specifically aiming for criminal psych cause I kinda want to reduce the number of jerk offs in the business and fight fire with invisible fire 👹😼]

I'm glad you have your headmates!! I'm honestly so grateful for mine since they helped me get through my ex and Phyce [who's CONKED] helps me kinda not break down when we're in public. At the seams bro, unmedicated, no diagnosis for certain things, and no therapy so it's good to have people to help no matter how little - little can go a long way!!! [Also I really hope you have therapy if not I'm pretty sure there's a lot of free therapy programs around that you could possibly apply for! I'm on a few waiting list - well for gender affirmative therapy since I would feel physically sick otherwise 😅 /lh]

Also yippee nickname privilege:3c

#urgh yapping so hard #sorry for STRAIGHT UP sounding like an ad #I just really recommend finch #i can send link to my special friend code :3 #thingy #yeah #💫🫀#💫🩷#💫👽#answered asks #moot time

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inkyprince · 24 days ago

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You've heard of vampire autism, but that also extends to my rambles. I cannot physically start talking about my brainworms till someone asks; "oh what's this," or "You should tell me about [Insert thing here]"

And it's got to be like; "No give me all the details, go ham" because otherwise I'll just send itty bitty snippits. But you enable me to go full on? Hi theres now a mini story in your in box. Anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#inky blabers

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chococookiez · 7 months ago

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Your name is KINITO AMICIA and you've taken a keen interest in that TROLL DISEASE known as FRIENDSHIP.

happy 2 days late 4/13 nerds

thanks to @jimposts and @kinito-bonito for enabling me to do dumb shit

notes and non gif versions under the cut

non gifs with the violet (since he's violet) and the olive (because im a leo LMAO)

i autismed this incredibly hard and in my mind ive pinned kinito as a witch of light (also points at his sign being aquapio . prospit!) after staring at the aspects and class speculations on the wiki and also fuck the class genders i will put kinito in a pretty god tier dress and you can't stop me (it's fine if you have a different classpect idea for him!! this is just what i came up with)

his jacket in the gif is cycling through all the blood colours (including candy red and lime + bonus anon grey) cause i thought of him changing his jacket to match someone's blood colour (or favourite colour)!

something else i thought of was troll sam and jade being time and space players respectively (idk about class, also haha kinito jade space like homestuck jade) and kinito osmosising so much off them with his light bullshit during their session he fucked off into the great beyond and somehow glitched into other sessions to spread Friendship :)

i had a lot of fun with this idea

#cookie's trash bin #flashing #forgot to tag that :(#homestuck #kinitopet #kinito the axolotl #kinito #kinitostuck #he looks demented but it kinda works #ive been sat here doing this thing for like 7 hours . this should not have taken this long im just indecisive

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jennycalendar · 4 days ago

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hi i would like to ask about evie because. i love her

i have a few questions

if they were in a high school au, would evie be like, a mean girl with a heart of gold? that's kind of the vibe i'm getting from her but i'm not sure if i'm right

is evie super protective of her sisters. she is right

would she get along with faith i feel like she would

sorry just. lots of assumptions & vibes i want to check. also. IS EVIE BISEXUAL. DOES SHE LIKE GIRLS

non-evie specific questions now. which of ur ocs r neurodivergent. do they autism. whom. whom autism. WHOMST AUTISM

would sophie get along w art

WAIT IDEA. of the ocs in what you make. and your bakery ladies. what would their relationships be. which would be the favorite cervenak of every one of bakery girls

apparently jaheira has kids? who are they? are they also ocs

okay i love you and your girls. write more original fiction abt them please so i can read it even though i dont know bg3. okay thx

HI OMG THIS IS SOOOO CUTE???? thank you SO MUCH for enabling me to talk about these guys! fair warning this WILL get long lol.

1. actually now i am legally obligated to write about all of them in high school situations. let’s go. as i write this i’m pretty sure in a high school au mari, ros, and norie would actually just be, like, friends, not actually adoptive sisters – ros has her very big and loving family, norie has a really tense situation as Adopted Chinese Daughter of Rich White Parents Who She Hates, marigold uhhhh god wouldn’t it be interesting and insane if she was still living with her bio mother and sisters? this is my narrative and in any narrative of mine high school is the worst case scenario, lol. evil evil place i will never go back to.

marigold is i am pretty sure in a world without magic hyperfixated on science/biology/nature, so she does really good when it’s anything related to that or cooking and really bad when it’s Literally Anything Else. she complains a lot about there not being some kind of home ec class until it’s explained to her that home ec would not JUST be cooking and she’s like oh well i don’t care about that then. she earned the position of student council vice president by bribing the general high school population with baked goods and only served half a term before realizing she hates talking to most people. REALLY tight with the cheer squad bc that’s roslin’s group, so she brings them a lot of snacks and hangs out on the bleachers with norie while ros cheers <3

evie has like 2 friends and one of them is a dead rat possibly and when marigold finds out about this she does her usual Marigold Response To Evie (edging awkwardly away so she doesn’t have to actually be an older sister about it). keeps on getting detention, mostly for small scale things like graffiti and skipping class, occasionally light arson. punched a kid in the mouth one time and maintains he was asking for it. she’s SUPER small though so she doesn’t do a lot of damage in fights but that does NOT stop her from trying SO HARD. (that girl is a teenage cryptid and the only reason she’s got friends in her twenties is because hot + confident gets you A LOT OF PLACES.)

roslin is a cheerleader yay hooray <333 the most #basic girly you will ever meet. has a not insignificant tiktok following that’s driving thea up the wall and they get into a lot of fights about internet safety (these fights are super limited by the fact that thea kind of doesn’t know what the internet is). despite being one of the most popular girls in school, she refuses to spend her lunch breaks with anyone NOT norie or marigold, and will blow off literally anyone and everyone to just sit on the roof with her girlies.

lenora is angling for the position of most weird goth girl of all time. full face of makeup, a whole bunch of piercings (all of them are fake bc she’s scared of needles), lots of very expensive black outfits that earn her absolutely no respect from the goth crowd at their school bc they see her as just a rich kid buying the look. she’s the only one among the three girls who actually gets good grades and they are constantly cheating off of all of her homework all the time. she’s apathetic acerbic and kinda bitey but she will go around the school holding roslin’s hand all the time and if anyone comments she will pull a knife on them. normal activities. (a lot of people assume ros and norie are dating and they are absolutely mutually outraged by the concept.)

thea teaches PE and has been momming the shit out of mari ros and norie ever since norie got into a screaming fight with thea in front of the entire class when thea was like “you don’t get to walk the mile giving each other piggy-back rides anymore” (reasonable request) and norie was like OH SORRY MOM I DIDN’T REALIZE WE LIVE IN A FASCIST SOCIETY!!!!!! then realized she’d called their gym teacher “mom” in front of the entire class and lost so much street cred in that moment, and the psychic damage she took was so adorable to thea that thea was like ok those are my kids now i think. she already SORTA knew roslin bc thea’s friends with roslin’s mom, but finding out about norie (terrible parents) and marigold (horrifying mother) ??? thea’s been sort of trying to semi-legally figure out a way to usurp parental rights for the last few years. also tried to put a hit out on marigold’s mom but was informed by one of the two (2) friends she has that that’s “a bad idea.” (she still thinks it’s a good one.)

lion is still in his teens too so he’s mostly just evie’s twitchy quiet friend who hangs out with her and the dead rat under the bleachers. they don’t talk a lot but they’re kind of inseparable. evie’s mom hates him. marigold said something derisive about lion once and evie tried to punch HER in the mouth, which marigold got blamed for, somehow, which evie then spent like half an hour hysterically monologuing to lion about on the phone. they are hopelessly in love with each other and mutually convinced it won’t work all without ever talking to each other. he writes “mr. lion northaven” on his notebooks sometimes

a bonus elodie! evie’s twin sister. blends perfectly into the background. gets the best grades in the family and is somehow in every extracurricular without anyone actually really knowing her. quiet, organized, neat, perfect. not a lot of people actually realize they’re twins because they carry themselves so differently and they’re never together at school. mom’s favorite.

2. evie’s biological sisters are marigold and elodie and she loves them with the force of a thousand suns and for a lot of complicated reasons this uncomplicated love of hers is not exactly returned in the same way that it is given. marigold’s adoptive sisters are roslin and lenora and she loves THEM with the force of a thousand suns and evie is the kind of girl who’s fine with it because her love does not change shape even when those who love her think maybe it should.

3. evie would come onto faith and faith would i think be immediately and cruelly dismissive specifically because evie would resonate with a lot of things about faith that faith violently hates about herself. (starved for love, loves hard and without her own permission, incredibly casual about sex to the point of detachment, absolutely no sense of self preservation or self worth).

4. oooh let’s make a sexuality list actually!!!

marigold is bisexual! enamored with people she can easily drag around on a leash, independently of gender.

evie is bisexual as well and i don’t think she has a type that is really established all that well beyond “people who want me.” evie has many problems

roslin is my single token heterosexual. absolutely impeccable taste in men, it’s just that all of her relationships always end in ways that are extremely amicable but Really, Really Weird. one guy left to join the circus. one guy left to man a lighthouse. one guy’s in witness protection. That kind of thing

lenora is a lesbian but it takes her a while to figure that out because she hates everyone indiscriminately, so for some time she just identifies as bisexual until experiencing attraction to a lady and going OH. OKAY. SURE

thea is a butch lesbian, and also nonbinary, though i don’t think she’d ever actually use the word to describe herself. her relationship to the concept of being a woman is less self-identification and more a label she likes to use and define as “being attracted to women.” she’s a woman because her love of women is coming from a female identified place, but other than that gender is of no use to her. she’s too old for the bullshit.

didn’t realize it until right this moment but lion (who i can include on this list even with his 900 psychological issues idc. that’s my son who was never gonna make it out) IS bisexual it’s just his Home Situation was such that the internalized homophobia’s keeping him closeted. not really something he’s likely to figure out, though; evie’s the only person who’s real to him and when he notices a man is hot he mostly just freaks out because what if evie leaves him for that objectively hotter guy. surely this will never cause any problems

5. man i honestly feel like all of them have some degree of neurodivergence simply because that’s where i’m coming from and that’s how i write them? i will say though that the places i feel like the qualities manifest the strongest are marigold (autism) my new girl beetle (autism) and evie (adhd) though i did recently get the feedback that norie reads super autistic :’) i will say if you see it it’s probably there lol.

6. :D

7. i had to really think about this one for a second ngl? sofie is for sure the most autism baby of all time actually so she’s really standoffish and awkward around children her own age, and i actually think art’s method of just running up to people and deciding they’re friends would melt her heart pretty immediately. she’s delighted by immediate acceptance and attention! they’d be inseparable and bella would go BALLISTIC.

8. i am running through all the girls in my head and i am actually 100 percent sure that almost all of them attach themselves to nora. mari has mommy issues x5000 + nora reminds her of thea, norie (lenora) and nora (eleanora) are literally deliberately cut from the same cloth and would get along like long lost sisters, and thea is genuinely obsessed with sharp-tongued moms who have emotional issues but love their kids tremendously (woman wants to homewreck so bad and will not succeed). roslin and evie are the outliers; roslin loves donovan’s warmth and positivity, and evie gets really really really attached to bella. so fast.

9. delighted to inform u that jaheira’s kids are canon, we meet them, they give her SUCH grief, and i love them, and so does she.

10. VERY LIKELY I WILL! idk when the muse will strike me next, but things are percolating :’) and thank you SO much for this, it was a delight to answer!!!

#my writing #bakery lady shenanigans #TAG TIME IG!!!#marigold baker #evie riverborn #roslin maynard #lenora chou #althea march #lionel larkin #northaven is TECHNICALLY evie’s last name in the big fic #but she uses riverborn for complicated reasons

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