#TF Big Daddy

[cybertronia-obscura]

Feature Character of August:

Big Daddy of the Hot Rod Patrol!

Toy Bio:

"We can take Decepticons anytime, anywhere!" Note: The bio below is for the entire Micromaster Hot Rod Patrol. "The essence of speed relies on our power to perform!" Each possesses 16 cylinders of carbonic Autobot muscle! High-performance avengers have more rubber-burning speed than the fastest squad of Decepticons. Usually seen cruising up and down Earth beaches and boardwalks. Highly mischievious and adventurous, sometimes mistaken for Decepticon punks. Though preoccupied with fun, still able to quickly respond to emergency roadway situations. Able to spot dangerous Decepticon highway marauders using telescopic, kelvar-energized, localizer radar. Each car is protected by a geometrical shield which deflects decepticon photon disintegration beams. Courage and tenacity are the patrol's finest attributes

Big Daddy, along with other MicroMasters, was introduced in 1990 during the G1 days! While he is a fairly young Autobot, he's noted to be mature beyond his years and leads his rebellious team as a cohesive unit.

He pops up for cameos here and there across the franchise. His biggest role was in the Dreamwave comics with other MicroMasters in "Little Iacon". He befriended Runner who would later be called Barricade... But not that Barricade. At the end of the miniseries, Big Daddy chose to make his own decisions.

[wraithdance]

Tf141 and the reasons their partners (you) get mad at them

Note: there will be a part two on reasons they get mad at their wives but it got too long lmao

Cw: mentions of extreme violence, afab!reader no gendered terms, explicit mentions of sex, slight dub-con, breeding, daddy & size kink if you squint, terrible British-isms and I’m not as funny as I think I am lol -not editing this so read at your own risk

Ghost will piss you off by: Wearing his full military get up (including the hardened skull mask) to intimidate anyone he thinks is interested in you.

It isn’t enough that you verbally decline less than polite or platonic advances, or show off your wedding ring proudly. He wants the weak fucks to know that he kills people for a living and would systematically break every bone in their body, reset them and break them all over again. That is before he stares them right in the eye as he fucks you until there’s enough cream leaking onto his cock to sail to the other side of the pond- thrice.

At least that’s what he told the local butcher who gave you his number last week. The man had been so frightened he burst into great weeping sobs and banned you both from coming into the shop.

You’d been pissed for a week straight and yelled at Simon every time you thought about it. It always ended with his large hands grasping at the back of your neck, damn near scruffing you, while you take as much of his cock down your throat. He’s letting you do the work of opening your throat and taking him as far as you can, but he glares in warning when you retreat. Your nose brushes the sprinkle of hair at the base of his cock when you take him deeper, watching a full body shudder wrack him. He’s close by the far off look in his eyes and the raspy hum/moans he does when he’s entered that space in his head you can’t reach. When his balls twitch as a tell tale sign of his release you plop him out of your throat and swat his hands off of you. It takes him a concerning amount of time to come back to earth and understand the haughty look on your face.

Before you flounce out of the room you tell him he doesn’t get to cum since he can’t learn to behave. That he can finish himself off or go apologize to the nice man. You’re only half surprised when he glares at you and takes his cock in hand tight to get back to that glorious sweet spot. He was such a stubborn bastard. The man was just trying to arrange the charcuterie order for your friend’s baby shower, for fucks sake!

But Simon didn’t give a fuck, his cuts of meat were shit anyways.

Soap pisses you off by: nearly burning down the house. You love him for his passion for life and you’d learned to navigate around his inattentive and reckless nature over the years. The problem of not landing ass first into the bottom of the toilet could be solved by simply looking before you go. but putting out multiple fires throughout the week because he got too caught up in whatever fleeting thing caught his interest, could not.

The last near fire was caused by him accidentally overcooking a package of Buldak noodles you’d hoarded from your last Asian food market trip. He’d run into your shared bedroom to show you a video of a ‘Bonnie little lass’ reciting the names of every country, which somehow ended up with you under him, with your knees locked up around your ears. he bullied his cock deep inside your cunt until it felt like a punch in the throat. Your wails doing nothing to cover his throaty moans as he asked you to say yes to giving him a baby

‘What do ye think about making me a Da, dove? Give me fat wee ones to chase after? Aye, you don’t have to say it I feel, you choking my cock. give me one more and I’ll give you what you want, Bonnie”

It was right when you were about to scream some semblance of an affirmation that you’d smelled the smoke. You’d screech for the dirty dog you called your husband to get off of you when he’d kept stroking into you with vigor, saying to wait one sec he was close. When you’d finally ran into the kitchen with a pussy addled Soap stumbling on your heels you came face to face with a blazing fire. The pot containing the ramen was bone dry and the blackened noodles were little more than kindling.

The process of putting out the fire was quick, you’d learned to keep multiple fire extinguishers on hand, but the kitchen still stank of smoke for weeks and the backsplash remained warped with the smoke stains. Soap wasn’t allowed to cook anymore or ask for a kid for at least six months as it was enough work keeping the house safe from his shenanigans.

Gaz will piss you off by: Having to have the last word. Your sweet man was perfect in nearly every way. He was attentive, romantic in all the right ways and made it a priority to make love to you to the point of tears. The problem was he was fucking petty.

The reasonably level headed man became an absolute shit when he felt slighted even a little bit. It didn’t matter if it was over something reasonable, like your overspending on a gift for a male co-workers birthday or a childish argument over who was the actual winner of a friendly Uno game during date night (he insisted you looked while he was in the bathroom), Kyle had to have the final say.

You’d been arguing for three days about, well you don’t even recall. You just hated the cold shoulder Kyle gave you and the space between you in bed where he’d normally be. You’d finally given up your pretense of being upset and stood before him as he sat on the couch with a solemn expression. You asked for you both to reach an impasse tired of arguing, for him to please come back to bed. He continued to pretend to read the stack of junk mail that collected on the coffee table with interest.

‘Don’t know luvie, wouldn’t want to get in the way of your alone time.’ He sniffed indignantly.

You stood confused, trying to decipher his tone and meaning before your eyes narrowed into slits.

‘Kyle are you fucking mad because I watched the final episode without you?’

His dead pan glaring made you stomp in indignation. In your defense, He’d been out in the field for six months and you couldn’t help it that Netflix kept playing the show you had both started while you were asleep. And so what if you did happen to keep watching when you’d finally woke up, he was on LEAVE for six whole months!

You spent the next hour arguing with him on the illogicalness of staying mad but he’d come up with snarky quips. It only slightly pissed you off that the only way he agreed to let things go was if you’d let him cum inside during anal. He’d agreed with a smug smile and shepherd you out of your pajamas and into your bedroom.

Price will piss you off by: trying to reprimand you like one of his soldiers. The key to a blissful marriage to a man like Price is having a willingness to pick your battles. Your husband is loyal and a provider through and through. it didn’t take much effort to just let him lead you both in decisions- you trusted him deeply. But, the man was gruff and prone to callousness especially after being away from home for long bouts of time. Weeks spent on classified missions taking down the big baddies of the world and being up to his elbows in blood and shit made him edgy.

During an impromptu shopping trip that he’d insisted on tagging along on, he’d turned into a nightmare. If it weren’t you in the situation you would be humored by the 42 year old military Captain acting like a toddler over how long you were taking to shop. But you were on the other end of his surmounting tantrum and it wasn’t cute how much he was reminding you of the big ass toddler you both shared. It all came to head when your son’s daycare teacher, Mrs. Hudson, spotted you and came over to chat.

You’d done your best to try and rush the conversation along, aware of the brooding bear of a man behind you. The sweet but a tad dense woman did not clue in to your subtle hints to speed things along. She was too content on telling you about your son’s acclimation to singing the potty song whenever he needed to go tinkle.

Just as you were going to politely interject, John had un-pried your hands from the shopping cart and promptly pushed/dragged you from the aisle without a word. You weren’t even aware of what was happening until you met the startled eyes of your son’s teacher as she watched your retreat, Your cart full of groceries left in the middle of the aisle.

Fuming you kept carefully silent all the way home, even as he barked at you to ‘get in the damn car’ and to buckle your seatbelt. Rage burned the hairs of your nostrils like a blacksmiths fire as you grit your teeth hard enough to hurt. It was much to your disgust that your seething husband lost his own anger midway through the trek home. His tensed shoulders loosened as he tapped the wheel of the car, having the audacity to hum softly to the radio station. Your eye twitched.

You really hoped your son didn’t grow up to be an incel with daddy issues and a podcast mic-because you were about to murder his father.

You didn’t wait for John to open your car door. You jump out and race across the lawn, slamming the passenger door behind you. You hadn’t looked back until you’d crossed the threshold of your home making sure to look your husband in the eye when you try to slam the ornate dark wood in his face before he entered. He’d pointedly narrowed his eyes when he blocks the door for closing and you knew he’d make it a thing later. It was rude but you hold tight to your self righteousness and venomous mood. It wasn’t until after you fed your son an impromptu dinner of cut up sausage patties and a handful of fish shaped crackers that you face a circling Price.

‘‘I can’t believe you! Why would you embarrass me like that, John!’’ You hissed.

He scoffed from his place at the kitchen island, he stretches into a stand. You’re irritated at needing to step back from his crowding, agitated when your thoughts get caught on the broadness of his shoulders in his tshirt. He’d filled out even more since he’d been gone. You loved his body in all forms but the last few years he’d gained a bit of belly fat from desk duty after having decided to cut back on field missions to help out with your young son. Now after months away he was all lean muscles and broad everywhere.

You know you’re already leaking at the thought of taking him and the arrogant twitch of his beard says he knows the same. But you’re not willing to back down. He can’t just bully you into doing what he wants when he doesn’t like something. You’re his spouse dammit not one of his men! At least that’s what you think you said to him. You don’t quite remember the concept of time or your own middle name when he traps you against the granite tower and fucks you until your eyes cross.

“Say it, darling. Tell daddy you’re sorry, love.”

You try to deny it with all your heart, you swear it. But his big hand snakes out in front of you to work your clit in tight circles before you can get the letter ‘N’ in no out. Behind you he leans back and down just enough to switch angles. It’s enough that every thrust is of him drilling his girthy cock into your g-spot with rapid succession. He doesn’t let your screams meet air for longer than a millisecond. He clasps his free hand over your mouth muffling your cries. He tells you not to wake his son and to take his cock like a good wife.

You sheepishly wave at Mrs. Hudson from the carpool lane the next time you drop off your son for school. You’d make a note to drop her off some flowers when you came back for pick up.

[keozrb]

Hairy Changes

Eric's unexpected transformation leads to a new life and love as he embraces his altered body and finds happiness with his new boyfriend.

Eric, a member of the college swim team, had just completed a swim meet. He loved showing off his athletic body, especially his large butt, which he accentuated with a tight yellow speedo.

After changing, Eric prepared to hit the club. It was bear night, a night he had never experienced before. The club was filled with big, hairy, older men.

At the bar, the bartender gave Eric a special drink on the house. As he drank, Eric felt strange changes occurring within his body.

His body had transformed, making him more muscular and older. He admired his new look in the bathroom mirror before returning to the bar for another special drink.

Back at the bar, Eric caught the eye of Tom, a large man with a big belly. Tom invited him back to his place, and Eric, after downing another special drink, agreed.

During the cab ride, Eric transformed again. He was now bigger, older, and more muscular. Oblivious to his transformations, Eric and Tom shared a passionate moment in the cab.

They spent the night together, and when Eric woke up the next day, he was surprised but happy with his new body. Tom was equally pleased.

Eric, embracing his new physique, squeezed into his tight speedo and headed for the pool. He was no longer as agile in the water as before, but he still enjoyed the swim.

Tom joined him, and they spent the day lounging by the pool, enjoying each other's company. Eric was content with his new life and his new boyfriend.

Eric's transformation had brought about an unexpected turn in his life, but he embraced it wholeheartedly. His newfound happiness with Tom surpassed everything else.

Eric's life had taken an unexpected turn, but he was happy. His new body, his new love, and his new life were all he needed. He wouldn't change a thing.

Eric's story is a testament to embracing change, even when it's unexpected. His journey of transformation led him to a life and love he hadn't imagined, but now wouldn't trade for anything.

[bioshook-wynand]

IM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND EVERYBODY WAKE UP N O W!!!!!!!!

[markantonys]

i hate to say it but call me an orc because adar is daddy [a hook yanks me offstage as the crowd boos]

[wiscomusclebear]

[hunterkhean]

I have questions-

I visit the fandom again and I Found this dude like... WHAT??????

[whatwooshkai]

just finished the first issue of micromasters. going insane in general but seriously. was anyone going to tell me there's a canon transformer named BIG DADDY because WHY DID I HAVE TO FIGURE THAT OUT MYSELF BY TRACKING DOWN PHYSICAL COPIES OF AN OUT OF PRINT COMIC

[cupiidzbow]

he’s literally so annoying 🙄🥰🙄🥰🙄

[eternallovers65]

PLEASE I'M BEGGING some of you new followers to chance your profile picture and idk add a little something in the bio (?) or else the staff and i will think its a spam account

[dressycobra7]

@cherry-blossom-consumer @mylenapony11 @phoenixdaneko @swirly-lemonade @the-uncursed-one

fell art I forgot to post completely

i like to think fell doesn't like suits

[rxng]

What's your opinion on Exosuits?

"... well, I suppose they're helpful? It's very expensive to re-armor before and after lava encounters, after all. And loadbearers are exceptional in spark-structure."

"You are sniggering. Why are you sniggering?"

[morgluvsconnie]

MORGGGG, HOW YOU FEELING ABT DAD!CONNIE??

-🍑

(can i be peach anon ? 😭)

POSITIVE.

connie x preggo/mommy!reader, short headcanons, mild cursing, basically just fluff! (yes u can be peach anon <3!)

dad!connie

who when he found out you were pregnant, just stared at you with a confused look. “i gave you that many cream pies?”

you narrowed your eyes at him and put your weight on one hip, pointing at your stomach. “your child is in my stomach.” you tried to get him to an understanding.

he slowly smiled.

dad!connie

who panicked mostly about when your daughter was gonna start developing feelings for boys, complaining about it almost every week.

“you don’t have to worry about that connie.” you smiled a little, laying across your shared bed.

dad!connie

who copy’s your baby waddle when you’re mad at him or just in general to tease you.

he also finds himself, willingly, sitting or playing around on the ball that you bounce on for your pregnancy.

dad!connie

who when your water broke, laughed because he thought you peed yourself, again, but when you looked at him with wide eyes, his smile faded. “ooou.. oh.. that ain’t pee?” he scratched his head

not even three minutes later, was on the phone with your parents and his parents, stressing tf outttt, rushing around and trying to pack things for you.

dad!connie

who knew true female strength for the first time in a long time when you gripped his arm, trying his best not to say anything because of the pain you were in.

“baby.. my arm-” he started, but you breathed heavily, touching your stomach. “shut. up.”

“okay.”

dad!connie

who stared at the head of your baby with wide eyes, furrowed eyebrows, and a covered mouth.

the size of your baby’s head coming out shocked him. and it wasn’t even because it was big or anything, how could you withstand that?

dad!connie

who felt his fingers losing circulation from the amount of pressure you were putting on his hand. as much as he fanned you, tried to calm you down, he couldn’t help but glance at back down.

yep, that was it.

dad!connie

who had to be tended to by other doctors when he passed out after seeing the way your baby stretched you out.

right before the baby was born.

dad!connie

who stared at your baby with narrowed eyes, blinking a few times before pointing. “she posed to be purple?”

you looked at him and smacked your lips. “she just out connie, she don’t got our color yet.”

dad!connie

who when you got out the hospital, let you rest in bed for the whole day if you wanted to, tending to your baby whenever you needed him to or wanted him to.

barely letting you get on your feet and do things yourself. “nooo, sit down. you gotta be bed ridden.” he kissed your cheek and pat your face with a warm towel.

“where were you with all this when i was pushing her out?” you playfully smiled at him. connie opened his mouth to say something, but squinted. “you know that?”

dad!connie

who, as your child grew, and got more disobedient (apparently only in your eyes), laughed at her antics, until you gave him the same look you gave her.

“oh yeah, put mommy stuff down before this turn into a friendly fire.” connie mumbled, patting his toddlers shoulder.

dad!connie

who, when his daughter came home from kindergarten and said she had a crush on a boy, stared at her with an open mouth, then at you.

“well? you not gon say nothing?” connie narrowed his eyes. you laid back on the couch, putting one of her toys together. “it’s just puppy love con-“

“LOVE?”

dad!connie

who, two days later, when his daughter came home saying she had a boyfriend, almost spiraled out of control.

“and why, callie? please let me know.” he rested his elbows on his knees with his head hanging down in a full dramatic way. “cus, daddy, he said he likes me and then- and then i told him he’s my boyfriend.” she smiled carelessly while sitting on the floor with her toys.

looking at you for at least some type of closure, you just watched with raised eyebrows and a small smile.

“oh yeah daddy, and then i got another boyfr-”

“ANOTHER.” connie quickly stood up, hands to his head while pacing around the living room.

“you hear this girl?” connie stared at you with wide eyes while pointing to his daughter. you pursed your lips together and shrugged.

“i don’t know, she’s similar to how someone used to be.” you tilted your head.

connie rested his eyes. “this is a hazard.”

[rotthepoet]

Need theo and lorenzo head cannons 😔

Good morning sweet pookie, i gotchu!! I needed a little break after that threesome so I did some random, some silly, some fluffy, and some smutty, kay? It’s really just a big brain dump on how I characterize the boys <3 Hope you enjoy, love ;)

P.s. if I have any reoccurring anon’s, if you want me to differentiate you, please feel free to assign yourself an emoji <3 unspoken rule i thought i’d say out loud

Theodore Nott

I agree with literally everyone on this app, he is a smarty pants, but i refuse to believe he sits down and studies

It’s not that he doesn’t care about his grades, he just doesn’t have to try to get good marks. Queen absorbs information like a sponge and retains that shit forever. Doesnt have to waste time with a boring textbook because he commits everything to memory.

That being said, he will remember everything about you. Your favorite movie you mentioned in passing, he saw you eat something particular multiple times he can infer its your favorite and will buy it for you often, he knows your habits, your aspirations, your desires. All of it. Does it for his close friends and lovers <3

Huge smoker. Like. Oral fixation final boss. Needs to have something to smoke or at least chew on at all times

I mentioned before how I think Mattheo and him laugh at people who vape, but Theodore Nott is a two faced LIAR and actually keeps a menthol alto with him at all times. For convenience sake. If you ask him, it’s different because its not a fun lil fruity flavor.

Speaking of Mattheo, those two are best friends. Like ride or die. Like. These two are bread and butter, inseparable and delicious.

Will internalize everything. This is why he gets so worked up and fights people. It may seem like him getting pissy over nothing, but this boy has some unresolved trauma and unmedicated issues.

Theo has ADHD prove me wrong and fuck you for trying(jk love you, but i will die on this hill.) severe anxiety issues, def some depression going on, hes working through some shit.

Theo can process a lot of stimulus at the same time. Watching him hold 3 steady conversations while reading a novel at the same time is a sight to behold.

Smokes weed a lot too. Mostly bud, but he’s smart and keeps a cart on him too for quick bathroom breaks when he needs to chill tf out. It slows down all the thoughts racing around his head. Lets him relax. Lets him feel peace. Let him feel comfortable. He’s been searching for that feeling his whole life.

Mommy and daddy issues check?

Anyways!

Theo is a player, and its not even because he tries to be.

Girls flock towards him, and he needs an outlet.

Sex is a good outlet.

Sex and drugs? Now we’re cooking

He doesn’t care much for the dating scene, didn’t think he was cut out for it. Bad home life. No mom. Depressed and emotionally distant evil dad. Friends and his family are all death eaters? Causes some bad views on relationships as a whole.

Omg but when he falls in love it takes forever but its so hard. Its so devastatingly hard.

It goes from “wow they really make me happy” to “omfg i need to marry them they make me feel complete and comfortable and it feels like i can finally be myself around someone this is the feeling i have been searching for my whole life” really fast when he falls

He’d never love at first sight. Refuse it. He might think someone is pretty or handsome, but he won’t ever describe it as love at first sight.

100% friends to lovers

He’s a quality time kinda guy i think

Just likes co-existing really

Stay in the room with him in silence as he reads and hes so golden

But that will bump up several notches and enjoy every other love language too

He wants to make you love him. He’ll do anything for you. Buy anything for you. Tell you everyday how wonderful you are

He’s being so genuine too

His friends would know

He never shuts up about you

If you had never spoken to his friends, never met them, they’d be able to come up to you in a grocery store and say “oh. You’re <you>, right?”

And dear god he genuinely cries a little in relief when you finally say yes

He’s buried his face in your hair and hugging you so tightly and he tries not to cry because he finally has everything he needs in his arms

He’s such a good boyfriend

Will never question you(at least not at first or without good reason)

Literally worships the ground you walk on

Will apologize first immediately after every meaningless petty fight

Thats different about real fighting though. Stubborn ass bitch

Anyways

Dotes on you everyday

Calls you so many sweet names in Italian

Has an Italian accent but sometimes tries a British accent to throw everyone off.

Argues in italian

Lowkey hates snow

Runs super cold so loves lovvesss hot weather

Will take you to Italy over the summer

Demands you go

Fucks you on the balcony of his family home

Fucks you stupid on the beach

Sorry where was I going with this

Ah yes anyways

Runs super cold so like is a big fan of cuddles. Lots of sweaters for you to steal

He likes turning cuddles into more slow and intimate things

Slowly fingering you as you spoon

Cockwarming in the morning or late at night<3

So much worship.

So much

Just adores you.

Loves fast rough sex but honestly could go on about slow love making for hours

Literally cant stand American reality tv

The biggest kardashian hater

Knows all the gossip because he’s quiet and listens

Doesnt care to share it though

Lorenzo Berkshire

Bitchboy extraordinaire

If I met Lorenzo Berkshire he would become #1 on my shitlist so fast

I called theo a two faced liar as a joke

But Enzo actually is one

Literally puts on the nicest mask for pretty girls, but every ex, and every guy in hogwarts knows he’s a conniving bitch behind closed doors

One of the richest in the group and it shows

Flaunts his money everywhere he goes

His ears are pieced

Also he likes having his ears bitten it can make him hard as a rock in seconds

Dates, but it usually only lasts a month and Hes the worst boyfriend ever

Dumps them whenever he gets bored

But omg when a person gives him his attitude back

Well first he gets even meaner

But also he likes you so much like… that was hot

And if you ignore his existence? On you like a moth to a flame

Craves attention

Such an attention seeker

Still will fight, isn’t very good, but will try

100% a prefect

Showers his pookie with so much love and attention

When he finally gets the person he wants, hes on top of them 24/7

Never a hand straying to far

Literally obsessed

Big fan of exhibitionism

Will fuck uou on the train, the bathrooms, the common room, the classroom

Its all fair game

Would love to see you all tied up in pretty ribbons for his birthday

Ass man 100%

Likes to just get a fistfull while you hug or cuddle

Mattheo and him are the biggest gossipers

Has like 4k followers on instagram because hes so pretty

Father and mother are hirh death eaters. Does anyone know Berkshire lore because i def dont

Like fr can someone explain him to me

Pairs well with anyone in the grouo, really

Gets along especially with Theo or Mattheo

Amazing at card games, and says he’s amazing at chess too. Hes not.

Literally refuses to snack, says it’ll ruin his physique

On the quidditch team much like everyone else he’s friends with

Slays at herbology

Maybe a bit of a smoker? Not often, and def more weed than tobacco

Light weight for reals

Like severely light weight

He’s the laughingstock of the friend group for it

Him and Mattheo have a running bet on who can fuck the most women

Omg omg omg because they so do the alphabet challenge im so sorry but its factual

Lorenzo is currently winning with 15/26 letters in the alphabet but Mattheo isnt too far behind

Its because Lorenzo is so charming and Mattheo…. Is himself.

Anyways back to being his significant other

Will spoil you

Relentlessly

Lowkey expects head in return but that will wear ofd eventually

109% more likely to start a fwb situation than anything else

Treats you like a girlfriend this whole time

Kisses you sweetly, holds uou close when you sleep, mumbles about how special you are

Just being a girlfriend without the title because then it gets too weird

Loses his shit if you get tired of trying and break it off

Genuinely ballistic if he loses you

Will pull as many favors and as many strings as he can to get yiu back

Seriously considers murder for a while

Anyways he gets you back baby<3

Speaking of babies hes super good with kids

Look at that face

Amazing dad face

Scared of marriage lmao

Bad parents. Fucked up views on relationships

Its a thing for all of them tbh

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Most iconic Xie Lian moments according to me

Contains spoilers!!!

"Xie Lian didn't know whether to laugh or cry"

Keeping every memento of his worst time ever as a reminder of why being kind and forgiving is worth it

When he runs off after he gives Hua Cheng CPR that one time pretending he's looking for his hat

When he keeps roasting Xiao Ying's looks even as she's dying

When he was a prince and he was told his future looked dark and he said that can't be cause he only wears white

Eating food off the ground

Building his own temple, we love a girl boss

When he pet E'Ming like a little puppy after being explicitly told not to ever touch it under any circumstances

Putting Banyue in a pickle jar

When Wuming said he would follow Xie Lian to the death and Xie Lian went "youre already dead"

Breaking rocks on his chest for money

Being trampled to death as general Hua, doormat core

The whole Fangxin Guoshi arc, whew 🥵

Carrying around a big ass bag of scraps everywhere

When he became jealous of Hua Cheng's special someone not realizing the very obvious fact that he was Hua Cheng's special someone actually

Slapping tf out of Qi Rong for making fun of Hua Cheng being blind in one eye

Pretending he had no idea who Nan Feng and Fu Yao were

When Mu Qing and Feng Xin were freaking about how creepy the Ten Thousands Gods Cave was whilst he found it incredibly romantic

Being a bit too into pretending to be Hua Cheng's puppet on Mount Tonglu

Feeding into E'Ming's praise kink

When he disguised himself as a pregnant lady to be possessed by the evil fetus spirit and it worked

When he disguised himself as a woman so badly he looked hideous and needed help to not look like that

When he spent the entirety of the Xuan Ji capturing business in his wedding dress disguise, including meeting Pei Xiu like that

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts-

When his response to the sex pollen was to kill himself

"I do not worship god, i am god!"

Every single sweet and tender interaction with Hua Cheng's butterflies that everyone else is terrified of

When everyone ignored him in the communication array because he was cringe

Getting drunk on a tombstone with little ghost fire Hua Cueng after his life fell apart

Controversial but i think his calamity era was also iconic and very sexy

When Heaven's Eye said his lips are exuding evil energy and he turned bright red

And then later when Heaven's Eye said the evil energy is inside him and he immediately changed the subject

Recognizing literally everyone despite their disguises but keeping quiet about it not to embarrass them.

Calling Yin Yu boring and forgettable looking to his face

Defending Hua Cheng, evil ghost king, in front of the whole entire Heavenly Emperor

When he was working in the rice field with Hua Cheng and he kept staring

Being poor

Having ridiculously bad luck

Ascending three times

Big daddy issues even with his dad still alive

When his life had just fallen apart and he didnt know how much a lantern could cost because he had been ridiculously rich all his life

Holding up a massive temple from falling apart???

Kissing Hua Cheng for spiritual energy in front of literally everyone more than once

When he could hear rats talking???

Adopting children

Not iconic Xie Lian behaviors

His abhorrent cooking

Trying to kill himself???

[marimariposaposa]

stargirl | jude bellingham

pairing: bf!jude x secret!gf

content: social media au

summary: jude’s alleged girlfriend stirs up quite a storm when she’s seen everywhere but her own account

face claim: mariaisabel on ig

twitter…

instagram…

yourbestie

| madrid, spain

tagged: ynoninsta

liked by ynoninsta, judebellingham and 1,380 others

yourbestie two girls in a car on our way to her new ap 🚗

comments

ynoninsta making big money moves

| yourbestie dont forget about me gf 😿

| ynoninsta girl ur in the next room.

friend is this curtesy of her sugar daddy?

| ynoninsta pls dont make me laugh

| yourbestie yn is my sugar mother 😍

liked by ynoninsta

judebellingham4life JUDE?

twitter…

judebellingham has posted to their instagram story...

judebellingham

liked by ynoninsta and others

judebellingham recently 🏡

comments

tobyishay sexy guy

| judebellingham its the photography

jud3bellingold hold up who is taking these

| ilovemadrid LITCH?

| f4nt4sy jobe.

erling.haaland 😍

| judebellingham 🧏‍♂️

ynoninsta cute

liked by judebellingham

| judesbabymother everybody pause

| kissmegoodnighty get that girl from twitter a spot in the fbi

| luvbellinghams why is he liking this comment tf 🤨

load more...

yourbestie

tagged: ynoninsta

liked by judebellingham and 6,569 others

yourbestie small dump before i leave my babygirl all alone:(((((

comments

friend she's spreading her wings 😥

| yourbestie from a caterpillar to a butterfly 🦋

| friend2 not alone she isn't 🤣

| ynoninsta stop this madness

halajudeb omg she's pretty...😔

ynoninsta the likes? u becoming an influencer

| yourbestie more like u becoming an alist celeb

| ynoninsta its so hard being me fr

liked by judebellingham

| jdeblling can this girl fight?

liked by ynoninsta

madridbetter she's actually not mid

jude_jobe_fan why is he liking her friends bikini pic???

| maisyyyyy girl grow up.

| gavdriluver because his gf is in it????? he doesn't even follow her friend.

twitter...

facebook...

twitter...

instagram...

jobebellingham

tagged: judebellingham, ynoninsta

liked by judebellingham, ynoninsta and others

jobebellingham spain is fun

comments

jobeforever the bellinghams looking too good

judebellingham is this a joke

| jobebellingham hey sleeping beauty

| judebellingham you've lost phone privileges

liked by ynoninsta

judesfootball jobe hardlaunching for jude is crazy

ynoninsta what is this 😐

| jobebellingham caught both of you slipping

| ynoninsta next time u put ur phone in my face ur not getting it back

liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham

| judebellingham he's grounded.

dailybellingham yn needs to unprivate her account i just want to talk

jobeandjude_bae is that jobes gf??

| bowsandpink make a twitter account pls

load more...

twitter...

judebellingham has posted to their instagram story...

twitter...

instagram...

ynoninsta

song: 7 days - craig david

liked by judebellingham and others

ynoninsta hiiiiiii from me and my cat <3 (also the guy in the middle probably)

comments

jbcutie oh my god😮

| ynoninsta pls dont be scared lol 💞

| jbcutie ur so sweet omg 🥰

liked by ynoninsta

yourbestie when are you going hard launch me baby cakes

| judebellingham never

| yourbestie stay out of this

| ynoninsta can't hard launch u if we've been married for the last decade 😍

| judebellingham ?

judesluckycharm this is the girl....

| ynoninsta don't make me nervous is that good or bad?

| judesluckycharm omg u replied 🙊 its good girlllll

liked by ynoninsta

bellinghampics shes so cute ofc she has a cat🙄

| ynoninsta his name is coco and he's evil 😫

| judefits her replying to all the girlies 😇

judebellingham omg hey girlfriennn

| ynoninsta get out of my comments

| judebellingham 100k has got to your head

| ynoninsta thought i told u to scram

| judebellingham not even a tag btw

load more...

judebellingham

song: sure thing - miguel

tagged: ynoninsta

liked by ynoninsta and others

judebellingham bts 🎥

comments

jobebellingham dont need to see ur faces more cat pls

| ynoninsta i've beeeeen saying

bellinghamlov3 omg im so happy for themmm!

| judesgfffff im not

ynoninsta wow cute ig

| judebellingham it's all me 💗 thanks though

| ynoninsta nvm.

load more...

ynoninsta

tagged: judebellingham

liked by judebellingham, yourbestie and others

ynoninsta the REAL bts

comments

bellinghamvibes im all for her exposing jude LMFAO

yourbestie wtf is that

| ynoninsta dont be mean, his name is jude

| judebellingham uhhhh?

jb.xoxo ok they're pretty cute or whateverrrrr

jude_clips the wait was worth it

| judeshugs we need to pay an homage to that one girl on twitter honestly

load more...

twitter...

end.

angel's notes: if anybody comes for my photoshopping skills i will come for u. also don't look at the dates of anything they do not match up lol.