#TEN GOOD REASONS THAT I CANT FIND

[sandgjrl4]

thinking about this song and thr female experience.........

[luffington]

OMG im obsessed with the fic with Cora and Doffy X Reader! i was wondering if i could request just Corazon X Reader? im absolutely crazy about the idea of sweet Cora having those repressed sadistic urges, and his struggle with wanting to be soft and kind, but cant help liking the darker and meaner, its just. UGH SO GOOD

Maybe the reader could have picked up on that a bit and is teasing him into giving in to those urges (which they're totally into lol)

Also i love your fics sm! keep up the great work <3

✧.* art credit!

➤ pairing: donquixote rosinante (corazon) x gn!reader

➤ word count: 1.3k

➤ warnings: dom!corazon, possessive!corazon, dacryphilia, oral (m receiving), praise kink, established relationship, fem reader

RIGHT ITS SUCH A GOOD CONCEPT!!! we barely know anything about cora outside of what law experienced and we'll probably never find out more so.... character interpretation!

my first draft of this had a paragraph where the reader acted bratty to try to coax out his mean side and he almost starting crying.... i took it out because i couldn't do that to him (ㅠ‸ㅠ)

this ended up being pretty similar to the other fic (read here) but i hope you like it!

NSFW under the break! minors dni thank uuu

Corazon was the sweetest man you’d ever met. Sure, he was a master of deception – hiding his Devil Fruit powers and tricking his brother into trusting him was definitely not an easy feat. His anger issues could use some work, even though the reasons behind his outrage were always justified. But his loving personality and strong sense of morality were very real.

He never doubted your kind heart, either. You had joined the Donquixote Family simply because you had no other options, and dealing with his crazy older brother was better than starving on the streets. Corazon was able to relax around you, be silly and affectionate without being judged by his cold-hearted coworkers, and finally speak after long stretches of staying silent.

But there was more to him.

Doflamingo seemed to be the black sheep based on what little you knew about the biological Donquixotes. A rare case of madness in an otherwise well-intentioned family. However, the brothers still shared the same genes and the same horrific childhood. And even though Corazon never discussed his experiences in the Navy, he certainly witnessed terrible things that still weighed on his mind.

Your boyfriend tried his best to keep any deep-rooted darkness away from you, but it was unhealthy for him to repress every negative emotion. You wanted him to feel comfortable around you. He didn’t need to be an angel all the time.

One time, the eternally clumsy blonde almost fell trying to hover above you in bed. Not wanting to crush you with his ten-foot tall body, he caught himself by grabbing your arm. Hard. You squeaked in surprise and he immediately apologized, but dark blue fingerprint-shaped bruises stained your skin by the end of the night.

Early the next morning, when he thought you were still asleep, he lightly traced the marks over and over. You caught him staring at them throughout the day, too, looking more intrigued than upset. He littered your neck, chest, and thighs with hickies the next time you fucked, and you realized inflicting pain wasn’t what turned him on – he didn’t want to hurt you, he wanted to mark you. Those were his fingerprints on your arm.

So much was taken away from him at a young age that of course he wanted to claim you as his own. Hickies were more conventionally sexy than bruises, so he was less ashamed about admiring them in front of you and telling you how pretty you look. Even gently rubbing a large one on your neck during a Family meeting, which made his brother huff and tell you to get a room. Corazon did get a room after that – pulled you aside into a private bathroom and fucked you against the sink while making you stare at yourself in the mirror. Whispering in a deep voice about how the color of your hickies matched his plum-colored lipstick.

A few weeks later, he came home in the middle of the night after being away on a mission with Diamante and Trebol for nearly a week. Thunder boomed outside the window and his feathery black coat left behind a trail of rainwater as he stumbled into your shared room. His tall frame visibly shook with anger, his dark sunglasses barely covered the fury burning in his eyes. You got out of bed to greet him and asked how the operation went, but he just pulled you into a very wet hug and mumbled, “I don’t want to think about it ever again.” 

You blinked slowly and whispered, “I can help you forget.”

The blonde threw his half-burned cigarette to the floor then smashed his lips against yours. He didn’t bother taking the time to build up to a heated kiss. Immediately biting your lower lip raw before pushing his long tongue inside your mouth. Your eyes fluttered shut, easily submitting and letting him take whatever he wanted from you. The smell of smoke caught both of your attention. Corazon instinctively stomped out the cigarette ashes smoldering on the throw rug without tearing away from the kiss for even a moment. 

“Let me use you.” He looked as desperate as he sounded. “Just for tonight, can you be my little doll? I’ll make it up to you later, I promise, I’ll be so good to you.” Heat shot straight to your core and you nodded fervently, clutching onto his drenched clothes like your life depended on it.

Which is how you ended up with his lengthy cock down your throat, your bare ass in the air and body wedged between his sprawled-out legs. Calloused fingers tangled in your hair to firmly guide you up and down. Graciously giving you time to relax by letting you swirl your tongue around the swollen tip, though he never pulled you entirely off his dick. He looked so pretty like this – damp hair clinging to his forehead, pale cheeks turned pretty pink, subtly squirming on the mattress, pupils fully blown out with lust. 

Corazon suddenly thrust upwards to hear you gag, several inches of his cock forcing their way into your tight throat. Tiny teardrops reflexively lined your eyes as your gag reflex kicked in. You expected the blonde to panic and immediately stop – even though it was just your body’s natural reaction and you were enjoying every second. But instead, he licked his lips like he wanted to devour you. 

There were those Doflamingo genes.

But unlike his selfish brother, Corazon asked if you were comfortable with everything happening for the second time that night. You gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up, obviously unable to verbally confirm with his dick stretching your mouth to its limit. His cock drooled salty precum onto your tongue as thick globs of your drool dripped down to his balls. 

You used both hands to stroke the rest of his length that couldn’t fit in your mouth – the huge man had a huge dick to match. Corazon swatted them away, held your wrists in one giant hand then pushed down hard until every inch of him was deep in your throat, messy blonde pubes tickling your nose. He was glad he set up a sound barrier, otherwise the entire Family would’ve heard the debauched moan that spilled from his lips.

After a few moments of admiring you and the prominent bulge in your throat, your boyfriend released you just before it became too much. “Good girl,” Corazon panted with a dazed smile. “Such a good girl, taking it all like you’re supposed to.”

He gave up trying to hold back after that, bucking his hips against your face and rambling about how pretty and perfect you looked like this. He pressed your head all the way down again just before he hit his peak, shooting a large load of cum directly into your stomach. When he saw your ruined state, a dark pit formed in his stomach. Tears stained your cheeks and spit dripped down your chin as you gasped for air, and he was turned on by it. 

Corazon quickly pulled you close to press soft kisses against your cheek and make sure you were okay. Nothing you said seemed to convince him, so you brought his hand between your thighs. When he swiped a finger through your folds, his eyes widened at how wet you were. He admired the way your sticky juices webbed between his digits, then immediately began toying with your cunt.

“I would’ve stopped you if you didn’t like it,” you grinned, shamelessly rutting against the palm of his hand. “Ruin me with your cock more. I’ll be a good toy for you.”

Corazon gulped, stomach fluttering with sinful excitement. “O-Okay, if… if you’re sure that’s what you want.”

Both of you knew he wanted it more than anything.

[notiddygothgf]

SEX IS FREE (her)

★ pairings: nanami kento x f! reader

★ synopsis: In the search for solace, Nanami stumbles right into the arms of an exotic dancer. In the search for money, an exotic dancer finds more than she bargained for. In the heat of the moment, a contractual relationship turns into something more. (or; the one where sugar daddy!nanami is sweet on his girl)

★ c.w.: nanami being sexy asf, suggestive content, mentions of sex (more content warnings and tags)

★ a/n: HIIIIII omg so i can explain the hiatus lol.... it was totally unintentional. i wound up getting super depressed over school and then fell into a chainsaw man hyperfixation (read shameless, its an aki ff i wrote youll love it). I FINALLY PICKED THIS STORY UP AGAIN because for some reason it's been getting a lot of attention recently??? lol anyway! your comments inspired me to continue writing it (though i cant promise that i'll update quickly, i AM a full time student so #bepatientwithme).

I was salivating over Nanami in this chapter if you couldnt tell lol.... but enjoy!!! keep those comments coming! who knows, maybe i have another chapter stored away and will update a little earlier....... x

★ w.c.; 5.6k

my kinda love; chapter index

‘AND I’M BAD LIKE THE BARBIE. I’m a doll, but I still wanna party,’

“Donnie, baby, you in there?”

“Yeah!” You called back, loud enough for your coworker to hear through the door. You pressed the tube of red lipstick against your bottom lip, peering into the mirror, filling in the outline you had done in black. When you didn’t receive an immediate answer, you continued humming along to the song playing quietly from your phone. “Pink vette like I’m ready to bend. ‘Imma ten so I’m pullin a ken, likeee.”

Your coworker entered the dressing room – you were the only one there. Most of the other girls from the afternoon shift had gone home already. 

“Some dude wants to rent you,” She told you. 

“No. I don’t do private rooms,” You replied without even looking back. You knew who she was. You weren’t the biggest fan. “I’m good, Mandy.”

“He asked specifically for you,” She added. “Offered a lotta money, too. Helluva lot more than we normally charge.”

You froze up at that. Initially, your first thought was to send her off a second time. Then, you thought of her running off with your money. 

“Is he one of them greasy, sleazy old guys?” You asked. It was wild, how quickly you perked up when you heard that. “Last guy was throwin’ himself onto me. I should’ve filed a police report.”

“Oh, stop your ‘bitchin,” The girl sighed. “He’s paying 200 just to see your ass.”

If you had a tail, it would have started wagging. 

What? A girl had bills to pay. “So he is a greasy old pervert.”

“No, actually. He’s a fine, young thing. Well, not young, but younger than most of the guys we usually get back here,” She trailed off in thought. You watched her body move in the corner of the mirror. “Sexy as hell. Serious, businessman type. Tall, blond, handsome, a jawline that could cut paper,” here, she bent over, leaning over you and muttering the next words into your ear, “I could always take him off your hands, y’know.”

“As if,” You replied. Spinning the chair back around, you got up. “Better not be expecting nothing extravagant. I’m considering this overtime.”

With a deep breath, standing in front of the cherry red door, your heart began to pound against you chest. It was some strange mixture of nerves and excitement you felt as you raised your hand to knock. 

Here goes nothing. You reached for the doorknob and entered the private room, turning back only to lock it behind you. 

“Special delivery!” you crooned, trying to embody a playful tone to mask the jittery feeling within. When you turned around to face the client, you were caught by surprise. 

Your wide eyes traced over a familiar silhouette – broad shoulders, perfectly-fitted, navy blue two-piece suit that clung to his large arms, and matching slacks that clung to his legs – his widespread, casual position hinted at sophistication. A pretty, sharp, angular face framed by neatly-cropped blond hair. A tasteful timepiece on his wrist caught your eye. 

Narrow eyes obscured by peculiar glasses, chiseled cheekbones and jawline. His blond hair – framing his apricot skin – was done up carefully, perfectly, sweeping over his head like a ray of sunlight. You recognized him by his signature scowl.

He came back for more?

You liked your lips, trying to play it cool (like you hadn’t been waiting for him to come back). “Oh, hey, it’s you again,” you said with a smirk. Strutting over to him, you cooed, “Couldn’t stay away?”

He’s so fucking hot.

Though his response wasn’t verbal, the pink hue that dusted his face was not lost on you. You swayed your hips from side to side. “Can you give me somethin’ to work with? I don’t usually do these rooms, you know.”

The devastatingly handsome man swallowed, fixing his gaze on the door – the one you had locked on the way in. As you worked your way between his legs, teasingly dragging your hands up and down your body, his gaze wandered back to you. Shamelessly, you reveled in the attention – studying his reaction.

You could smell his cologne from here – again – and, shit, it made your head spin all over again. The warm notes lingered beneath the collar of his dress shirt. Amber. Wood. Musk. Something dark?

“So I’ve heard,” The man replied, finally breaking his silence. His voice was a revelation – deep, mellow, and smooth, carrying a certain tone of weariness that seemed to add to his enigmatic charm. Charm? Yes, you supposed he charmed you.

He loosened his tie and undid the top button on his shirt to let some fresh air in. The action drew your attention to his neck, provoking you to take a moment to appreciate the details your coworker had emphasized: Tall, blond, with a jawline that could indeed cut paper.

You were wretched. You had to have been. This is so wrong.

“You seem tense,” You remark, making your second attempt at breaking the ice. “You’re new to the scene, aren’t you?”

The handsome stranger – Nanami, if you remembered correctly – licked his lips, drawing mindless shapes over the deep-toned fabric that covered his knee. “Is it that obvious?” he asks, a faint smile playing on his lips.

The movement did not go unnoticed.

“A little,” You huffed out a quiet laugh. “Do you want a dance? We could just sit and chat, too, if you want. I don’t mind. I know your type tend’ta like talking.”

You couldn’t control the way your eyes flitted down over his toned thighs – mind hazy with unwelcome thoughts. The temptation to crawl into his lap a second time was strong, but you reminded yourself of the situation – he was your roommate’s teacher, for fuck’s sake. Your roommate’s handsome… muscular… expensive-looking teacher… with a deep, sexy voice that you could hardly resist.

You must have been ovulating. That was the only excuse.

“I won’t make you put on a show for me,” Nobara’s professor trailed off, eyes distant, clearly lost in thought. He seemed to snap out of it after a moment, pretty brown eyes peering into yours – they looked so dark up close. “As crazy as it sounds, I only wanted to speak to you.”

Your sultry facade cracked a bit at that, surprised by the sudden turn of the conversation. From your experience, men usually came here with only one thing in mind. He wanted to talk… to you. Oh my god.

You nearly squealed. Clearing your throat and pressing your legs together, you turned to hide your flustered face from the older man. “Alright,” you said. “You have 30 minutes.”  Plopping down on the couch next to him, you threw your legs over his lap. “What’s your name, handsome stranger?”

You already knew his name. Still, to keep up appearances, you played coy with him. You knew that, reasonably, there was no reason you should be continuing to entertain him — financial commpensation aside, though you could always reimburse him. You should have turned back the moment you realized it was him.

Then again… he had come to see you. It wasn’t like he knew you were his student’s roommate, but that was besides the point. That alone was moral justification enough for you.

The stiff man had his eyes trained on the spot where your legs had been thrown haphazardly over his. Then, nervously, he answered, “Nanami. Kento.”

Kento. You liked that name. It rolled off the tongue real easy — a buttery smooth name for a man as composed as him.

“Nice to meet you Nanami… Kento,” You chipped, mimicking his prose. “Donetta DiVine. I’m sure you already knew that, though. Do you wanna start, or should I?”

Nanami Kento knitted his brows. “Start…?”

You rolled your eyes rather playfully, giving his leg a nudge with your heel. You had ditched the stage platforms for a smaller pair of stilettos. “What do you do for a living?” 

He licked his lips. After a brief pause, he answered, “I can’t really say, but I teach on the side.”

“Ooh— mysterious…” You grinned. Leaning into the couch, you braced your chin on your hand, staring into his eyes. It didn’t take much effort to play the role of the ‘interested’ siren like it normally did. Not with him. “You already know what I do,” You added, “You look tired.”

His brown eyes widened with surprise.

Shit, I overstepped.

You took your statement back quickly, “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No, it’s not—“ He trailed off. Something in his harsh expression softened. “You’re right. Just the first person to notice.”

If your attraction to the man had been any more obvious, you would’ve been waving a sign around with his name on it.

“Really? You’ve got such tired eyes,” You continued anyway. You figured you would at least try to make the most of this half hour with him. “Wanna talk about it?”

He sighed, “Where would I even begin?”

“Your week?” You answered, making a rolling gesture with your spare hand. “How… how was it?”

He looked equal parts confused and intrigued by you, quirking a perfecftly arched brow before clearing his throat. “My week was alright. I started work again after taking a leave of absence for a few months.”

“No kidding…” You trailed off. It didn’t take much to make your interested tone seem real, as you felt nothing but the most genuine sense of interest while listening to him drone on in that deep, raspy voice of his. You could have listened to it for hours. “What happened?”

Something flashed in his eyes. It was quick, fleeting – you almost missed it. “Workplace injury,” He sighed. “If it’s alright, I’d rather not go into detail about it.”

This guy’s like a brick wall.

“Did you heal up okay?” You asked, eyes wide and prying.

He didn’t seem to mind you much. That was a good sign.

“Had to undergo some minor surgery but, yes, I’m fine. Thank you for asking,” He smiled, actually smiled, and it made your chest stir with something unfamiliar. He was devastatingly handsome – the kind of handsome you kept in a little locket in your pocket when you went to war, or something like that. “My bosses have been pressuring me to come back ever since I left. One superior of mine in particular… has been a nuisance. I was under the impression that sick leave was supposed to be a period of peace… but I guess I thought wrong.”

You laughed at his attempt at humor. It came easily to you. Too easily. “I know how you feel. I busted my ass a few months ago. Twisted my ankle real bad,” You raised your leg off of his lap, twirling your stiletto heel around in the air, cutting through it like a knife. “These things are deadly. Boss gave me a solid two days before he started blowing up my phone asking when I was going to be back. It’s like… can you let me live?”

He laughed, then – really laughed, the kind that made his chest rumble, head thrown back against the cushiony couch. And as he released the melodious sound that made your head spin, his eyes creased at the corners. The experience gap between the two you couldn’t have been more apparent. He was a grown man, hardened by years of trials and tribulations – a mysterious one, at that. And there you were, a naive little dancer with your legs strewn over his lap like he was a partner and not a client. He seemed so wise beyond his years, something only accentuated by the tiredness in his eyes. You longed to hear him drone on about his life a little longer, 30 minutes be damned.

“My superior and I actually went to highschool together. He’s been up my ass as long as I can remember,” He hummed, licking his lips, and you followed the path of his tongue as it wet the skin like a hungry feline.

“Which superior?” You asked, mindlessly picking at the fabric of the velour couch beneath you. “The one you were here with last time? With the white hair?”

When the man knit his brows together, you froze up. Shit. I just gave myself away.

There was a brief, tense pause, during which you tried to focus on the music playing from the speakers, the jazzy tune, the faint remnants of a song playing in the showroom outside and up the hall, the wallpaper – anything but him. 

“Yes, that would be him,” He answered, finally. He seemed to be… intrigued by you. Yes, that’s what it was – his half-lidded amber gaze lingered on your face for a moment too long. “You’re very perceptive.”

You cleared your throat. “So, this job of yours… do you like it?”

“I despise it,” He sighed, like he had been waiting his entire life to confess those words. “But, at least, I figure I’m doing something meaningful with my life. You could say I’m a professor on the side.”

I already know that, You thought. Still, he didn’t have to know you knew.

“It’s a demanding job, but I enjoy feeling like I’ve made a difference,” He continued on. “Unfortunately, after the incident, I had to take some time away from the kids to recover.”

“You seem to enjoy teaching,” You answered back, perching your chin on your hand against the back of the couch. 

“Sometimes,” He replied. “Other times, the work can be unbearable,” He looked up, then, pretty brown eyes on yours in a way that had your heart skipping more than a couple of beats. You could practically feel the way they burned right through your extroverted facade, saw past the layers of glitter and scanty clothes and deep into the abyss in your chest. See who you really were. 

It was him who turned to you, then, asking you, “What about you?”

“Me?” You asked, just to make sure you’d heard him correctly. A client? Caring about your experience at work? That was… dizzyingly rare. 

“Yes, you,” He reiterated with the faintest hint of a smile on his lips. “Do you enjoy working here?”

Do I…? You took a moment to consider your answer. You could lie to him – preserve the perfect, sexual image the women in your company were expected to uphold. That was always an option. But, the moment you peered into those all-knowing, tired eyes of his, you found that you didn’t have it in you to lie to him. No, not when he had been so honest with you.

No one’s ever asked me that before.

Before you could catch yourself, the words were already leaving your lips. “Not really, but it pays the bills.”

His eyes softened at that. He didn’t look the least bit upset by your words. If anything, he looked as if he had grown suddenly tender with a sense of understanding. Women didn’t often join your line of work. Not unless they were desperate for money. He seemed mature enough to realize that – to see right past the fantasy you were supposed to paint for him and peer into your eyes like windows into your soul. One look at him, and you knew he didn’t see you as a dancer.

He saw you as a person. As a woman.

You broke the moment with a hum, “Why don’t you keep telling me about your week?” You asked, changing the subject, shifting the conversation back into comfortable territory.

The rest of the half-hour with Nanami flew by like a fleeting dream. He spoke with a quiet ease, his voice low and steady, yet somehow captivating. He complained about the inefficiencies at work—endless meetings that led nowhere, piles of paperwork that seemed to multiply overnight, and colleagues who turned simple tasks into impossible challenges. Yet, when he talked about his students, something in his tone softened, revealing a warmth that made your chest ache. You found yourself asking questions, small ones at first, but each answer drew him out more. The way he spoke—measured, thoughtful, with just the faintest edge of weariness—made you want to listen forever. For someone who seemed so guarded, he had a surprising amount to say, and you realized how much you liked hearing him talk.

You didn’t even notice how much time had passed until a sharp knock interrupted the quiet cocoon of your conversation.

“Donnie? You okay in there? Your 30 was up ten minutes ago.” 

It was your coworker.

“I’m good!” You called back, swinging your legs off of Nanami’s lap, turning to him with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I completely lost track of time.”

“No, it’s alright. I should have been checking my watch,” He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, long fingers combing through the buzzed, blonde strands of his undercut like wind blowing through a field of wheat. Then, after glancing down at his watch, he stood up, cleared his throat, and straightened out his suit jacket. “Thank you for your time.”

You hadn’t moved from your spot on the couch, brows furrowed. “That’s it?”

You had half expected him to extend the time. The conversation was going so well, you had silently found yourself hoping that he would lean over and do something – place his strong hand on your thigh, brush his fingers up your arm, anything. No-touching policy be damned.

You would make an exception for him. Men that fine don’t just grow on trees.

So, trying your best to lure him back in, you kicked one leg over the other, crawling into a sexy pose on the couch. In the most sultry tone you could manage, you breathed, “Is that really all you wanted?”

Please ask me for a lapdance, You found yourself wishing internally. 

He paused, looking back at you like he wasn’t the least bit phased by the sexy pose or the outfit or… well, anything. “Yes, why?”

“Nothing, I don’t know, I just… You spent so much money tonight to be here,” You uttered, suddenly bashful when he was peering down at you like that – he was so much taller than you, a height gap that was only emphasized by your seated position on the couch below him. You imagined you would have to stand on the tips of your toes to be at eye level with his neck, maybe his chin. Mindlessly, you caressed the couch. “I figured you would have at least wanted a lap dance, or something.”

“I’m not going to make you do something that neither of us are interested in doing,” He said, sliding his hands down over his slacks to straighten out the creases that had formed in them where your legs had been resting only a moment earlier. “Sex is free. It’s rare to find someone who’s willing to listen.”

You sat there, stunned into silence, still in that sexy pose on the couch, your body frozen in the aftermath of his words. His calm, unbothered demeanor completely threw you off balance, leaving you scrambling to make sense of what had just happened. Men like him didn’t come in here looking for conversation. They came in here for fantasies, for attention, for touch. But not him. 

“Thank you for everything,” he said softly, bowing his head slightly in a gesture so gentlemanly it made your stomach twist. Then, without another word, he moved to the door, unlocking it with smooth precision. 

You didn’t even have time to gather yourself before he slipped out, leaving you sitting there in your sultry pose, legs crossed, mouth slightly open. The sound of the door closing behind him echoed in the room, final and undeniable.

You blinked, your mind racing, the moment replaying over and over in your head. Did I just get… emotionally blue-balled? 

The thought hit you like a ton of bricks, both incredulous and a little amused at how absurdly fitting it was. You flopped back against the couch, your sultry act forgotten, staring up at the ceiling as the jazzy tune from the speakers drifted lazily through the air.

For the first time, a client had left you feeling something you couldn’t quite put into words. You couldn’t decide if you were more annoyed, intrigued, or just completely thrown off your game.

All you knew was that you wanted more.

DARREN: Hey imu.

DARREN: U busy tn?

YOU: I’m working but I get out early. Y.

DARREN: let me pick u up after work

DARREN: maybe i can help you ease some of that stress.

Darren rolled off of you with a huff and an exhale, proud of himself. He wiped the sweat from his forehead with the backside of his elbow, sighing, “That was great. Did you cum?”

“Yeah,” You liked straight through your teeth. Feeling vulnerable, you reached for your shirt and slipped it back on. There was a point in time where the two of you would sleep skin-to-skin after sex. A point in time long ago, of course, but you couldn’t help but reflect. Now, all that was left was a feeling of discomfort where the intimacy used to be. 

He flopped down onto the bed next to you, throwing his arm around your waist. Not moving a muscle, you trained your gaze on the ceiling above, hoping that maybe, if you spent enough time counting the dots in his popcorn ceiling, he would see that you did not, in fact, enjoy the experience. You doubted he would do anything to fix it even if he did know.

52, 53, 54.

You had been counting for the past five minutes – thirty seconds after he had grunted the words, “Let’s do missionary” into your ear before flipping you over. Truthfully, you hadn’t wanted to do missionary. That would mean that he could see you and, more importantly, that you had to look at him. So, to pass time and to avoid his gaze, you looked up at the ceiling, allowing yourself to be carried away by the tides of pleasure that his strokes gave you.

55, 56, 57.

He buried his nose in the crook of your neck, inhaling. “You smell like a man’s cologne.”

Your heart skipped a beat. “I work at a strip club.”

With a groan, Darren rolled onto his back, finally putting a comfortable distance between you and him. “Don’t remind me. I’ve been telling you that you’re wasting your talents at a place like that.”

Your jaw tightened. There it was, the same old Darren: judgment wrapped in concern, but laced with the unspoken assumption that he knew what was best for you.

You slipped off the bed, grabbing your phone from the nightstand. The cool floor against your bare feet helped ground you.

Unlocking your phone, you typed a message to Nobara, your roommate: 

Can you come get me? I’m at my ex’s.

The response came almost instantly: 

Girl, r u srs?

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard before you replied: 

I’ll explain later, ik, just pls… I wanna gtfo of here.

Sliding the phone into the pocket of your hoodie, you turned back to Darren. He was staring at the ceiling now, one arm slung across his chest, his fingers idly tapping against his bicep. For a moment, you hesitated. The familiarity of this scene—him in his sweatpants, you in one of his old T-shirts—was a cruel reminder of how things used to be. But you weren’t that girl anymore.

“I think I should go,” you said, breaking the silence.

Darren’s head snapped toward you. “No, wait,” he said, sitting up. His hair was tousled, his expression almost pleading. “Please… I really want you to stay.”

You crossed your arms, keeping your distance. “Why?”

“Because…” He raked a hand through his hair, his voice quieter now. “I don’t know. I thought things were going good between us.”

You blinked, then let out a short, humorless laugh. “Things? Darren, I come here, we have sex, and then I leave. That’s it. That’s all this is.”

“Is that all I am to you?” His voice carried a tinge of desperation, his eyes searching yours.

You tilted your head, studying him. “Or maybe,” you said slowly, “you’re asking if there’s any chance of us getting back together.”

“Yeah.” His voice cracked slightly, and he swallowed hard. “Is there?”

You laughed again, colder this time, shaking your head. “No. There isn’t.”

His jaw clenched, and he looked away for a moment. When he spoke again, his voice was sharp. “That’s not fair. I’ve done so much for you—”

“Done so much?” Your voice rose, and you stepped closer, anger bubbling to the surface. “You don’t give me shit but dick and attitude, Darren.”

He flinched, but you didn’t stop. “You wanna know what’s not fair? The fact that you went and knocked me up and then forced me to have an abortion. Where the hell were you during that, huh? Seeing as you’ve done so much for me?”

He sat frozen, his lips parting as if to speak, but no words came out. His eyes darted toward the floor, guilt pooling in their depths.

“And you wanna know what’s really unfair?” Your voice cracked, but you didn’t care. The words spilled out like a flood you couldn’t contain. “The fact that you fucking cheated on me when I needed you the most. That’s what’s not fair, Darren.”

Darren stared at you, his face contorted with frustration. “That’s not fucking fair,” he snapped, his voice rising.  

“Oh, fuck you, Darren,” you shot back, your hands trembling as you pointed at him. “What else do I have to do to show you I’m done? What else do I have to say?”  

“I’m trying!” he yelled, stepping closer. “I’ve been fucking trying! But nothing I do is ever good enough for you, is it? You’re so goddamn impossible!”  

You laughed bitterly, shaking your head. “You call this trying? You call cheating, lying, and gaslighting me trying?”  

“God, you’re such a fucking idiot,” he spat, his words sharp enough to cut. “You act like you’re perfect, like you’ve never made a mistake in your goddamn life.”  

“I’m not perfect, Darren,” you hissed, stepping forward, your voice shaking with anger. “But at least I own my shit. At least I don’t treat the people I love like they’re disposable!”  

“Oh?” he scoffed, throwing his hands in the air. “You think you’re so much better than me? You’re the one who keeps coming back. So what does that make you, huh?”  

The room was thick with tension, and for a moment, neither of you moved. Then he muttered under his breath, “Pathetic.”  

Your blood boiled. “What did you just say?”  

“You heard me,” he said, his tone dripping with venom.  

“Fuck you, Darren!” you screamed, shoving him hard against the chest.  

His expression darkened. “You don’t get to do that,” he snarled.  

Before you could react, he grabbed your wrist and pushed you away. The force of it sent you stumbling back, and you hit the edge of the dresser, pain shooting up your arm as you fell to the floor.  

“Wait, I…” His face shifted, panic flickering in his eyes. He took a step toward you, his hand outstretched.  

You scrambled to your feet, holding your arm where it throbbed. “You know what? I’m done.” Your voice was quieter now, but no less firm. “I’m done, Darren.”  

“Wait—”  

“No!” you shouted, cutting him off. “Go fuck yourself!”  

“Please,” he said, his voice cracking. “Don’t let us go. We had something special. You know that.”  

You stared at him, disbelief flooding your chest. Then you laughed—a cruel, hollow sound. “If you thought this was anything more than sex, then you’re the fucking idiot.”  

He opened his mouth to argue, but you were already grabbing your stiletto boots from the floor.  

“We can make it work,” he said desperately, following you as you stormed out of his apartment.  

“Make it work?” you echoed, spinning around to face him as you reached his car. “Make it work?” You hefted one of your boots in your hand. “Make this fucking work!”  

Before he could respond, you hurled the boot at his car window. The glass shattered on impact, the sound ringing out like a scream in the still night.  

The car alarm blared, its shrill wailing cutting through the silence. Darren stood frozen, his mouth agape.  

“Shit,” he muttered, rushing toward the car.  

You grabbed your other boot and slung it over your shoulder. “Fix that, asshole!” you yelled as you walked away, the sound of the alarm trailing behind you.  

“Her!” Darren called after you, but you didn’t turn around.  

You kept walking, the cold air biting at your skin, the adrenaline coursing through you keeping you upright. Your arm throbbed where you’d hit it, but you didn’t stop. You didn’t look back.  

You made it about halfway home before the exhaustion hit you like a freight train. Your legs wobbled, and you collapsed onto the curb, cradling your arm as the tears you’d been holding back finally spilled over.  

Your phone buzzed weakly in your pocket. Nobara’s name lit up the screen.  

“Where the hell are you?” she demanded as you answered, her voice sharp but tinged with worry.  

You gave her your location, your words slurred with exhaustion and pain. “I can’t— I just can’t walk anymore.”  

“Stay put,” she said firmly. “I’m coming to get you.”  

By the time her car pulled up, you were slumped against a lamppost, your eyes half-closed. Nobara jumped out, wrapping her jacket around your shoulders as she helped you to your feet.  

“What the hell happened?” she asked, her tone softer now.  

You shook your head, too drained to explain. “I’m hungry. I’ll tell you later.”  

“Let’s stop and get you something to eat,” She didn’t press further, guiding you into the car. As the city lights blurred past, you stared out the window, the events of the night replaying in your mind like a bad dream.  

The car was warm, the quiet hum of the heater and the golden glow of streetlights spilling through the windshield easing the tension in your chest. You cradled your injured arm as Nobara maneuvered through the drive-thru, shooting you occasional glances.  

“You want the usual?” she asked as she pulled up to the intercom.  

“Yeah. Large fries, nuggets, and a Coke,” you murmured, leaning your head back against the seat.  

She placed the order, and soon you were pulling into a parking spot under the dim glow of the lot’s overhead lights. The smell of greasy goodness filled the car as she handed you the bag, cracking open a box of nuggets for herself.  

“So,” she said, dipping a nugget into a cup of barbecue sauce. “You gonna tell me what the hell happened back there, or do I just have to assume you went full-on ‘Carrie’ at prom?”  

You snorted, the first genuine laugh you’d had all night. “Something like that.”  

“Well, shit.” She popped the nugget into her mouth. “Guess I missed a show.”  

You sighed, staring at the fries in your lap. “It’s over. For real this time.”  

“Good,” Nobara said firmly. “That guy was a walking red flag.”  

“Yeah, yeah,” you said, rolling your eyes. “Speaking of red flags…” You smirked as an idea popped into your head. “You’ll never believe what happened at work today.”  

Her eyes narrowed as she dunked another nugget. “Oh, this should be good. Spill.”  

You leaned back, a grin playing on your lips. “I got booked for a private room.”  

Nobara froze mid-bite. “I thought you didn’t do those?”  

“I don’t,” you said, shrugging. “But they offered me a shit ton of money. Guess who it was.”  

Her brows furrowed in confusion. “Who?”  

You couldn’t help but draw it out for dramatic effect. “Your teacher.”  

Her jaw dropped, and the nugget in her hand fell back into the box. “No way, Bitch.”  

You nodded, trying to keep a straight face.  

“What did he want? Is he, like, a total pervert or something?”  

You laughed, shaking your head. “No, actually. He just wanted someone to talk to.”  

Nobara blinked, clearly baffled. “Huh.”  

“I know, right?” you said, grabbing a nugget. “Easiest money I’ve ever made.”  

“Damn,” she muttered, chewing thoughtfully. “I never took him as the emotional type.”  

“Don’t go telling your friends, though,” you warned, wagging a finger at her. “He told me some pretty heavy shit.”  

Nobara tensed, her expression flickering with something you didn’t catch as you reached for your Coke. “Like what?”  

You laughed, shaking your head. “Like hell if I’d tell you.”  

“Oh, come on!” she said, pouting dramatically. “I won’t tell anyone!”  

You smirked, leaning back in your seat. “I’m not risking it. Client confidentiality or whatever.”  

“Ugh, you’re no fun,” she groaned, but there was a smile tugging at her lips.  

You both sat in comfortable silence for a moment, the car filled with the sound of crinkling wrappers and occasional laughter.  

“Hey,” Nobara said suddenly, looking at you out of the corner of her eye. “You’re okay, right?”  

You hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah. I think I will be.”  

She smiled, a small, genuine one. “Good. ‘Cause if you ever go back to that asshole, I’m slashing his tires.”  

You laughed, the sound bubbling up before you could stop it. “Deal.”  

As you both dug into the last of the nuggets, the weight of the night seemed to lift, replaced by the warmth of greasy food and a friend who always had your back.

a/n: and there she is! my first update in like a year lol. lmk what you thought! tell me what you would like to see in the story, who knows, i might be able to incorporate it in! Thank you all for your lovely comments. I loveee reading them.

comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

I obviously do not own jjk or anything related to it. I can't find the artist, but if you know them pls dm for credits!!! please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

taglist: @missphanosaur18 , @bontensbabygirl, @megumissunshine, @chocoyanchan, @littlelovebug98, @lucisimpongod, @xochyw, @jaegerstan222 , @electro-supremacy, @mellytheteddy, @clover0310 , @soraya-daydreams, @priussy, @insanehumantinker, @staygoldsquatchling02, @nonksity, @hinata7346, @chososwhoresblog, @ynjimenez , @soraya-daydreams , @nonksity , @hinata7346 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @sad-darksoul , @sasuke-slut , @yuunie135 , @bratkuna , @aydene , @mshope16 , @pretentiousteentrash , @galactict3a , @kokos-property , @moonriseoverkyoto , @lyn-soso , @arilostie , @violetmatcha , @markleeisdabestdrug , @erensdior , @hp-simp505 , @fushiguro-kyuuuuuu , @bontensbabygirl , @switch-godess , @honey-yuh , @ddotsie

wanna join the taglist? | my kinda love; chapter index

[into-f0lkl0re]

kk arnold nsfw hcs !! i loved the fluff ones cant wait to see what else you have instore :)

hey pook!!!! i’m so glad you liked my headcannons!!!!!

warnings:nsfw obvi and my horrendous spelling😛

kk arnold nsfw headcannons

————————————————————————

• MUNCH (i feel like we already knew this but like she loves to eat if ykyk)

• she has a strap but i feel like she only would use it if she was pissed off (she has ten fingers and a tongue for a reason)

• when yall first started dating i feel like she was prob really nervous

•she just wants to make you feel good

•like pleasuring you gets her off

•we already know she needs reassurance and needs to feel validated

•knowing that she is the one making you feel good.

•at first she was constantly asking if things felt good

“baby does this feel good?”

“how am i doing?”

“baby what do you want me to do?”

•she still does all of that stuff now but her confidence has grown

•she knows your body and she knows every reaction

•she knows your close by the sound of your moans

•i already said she’s a munch but she just loves eating you out

•you’re her favorite meal

•she loves looking at you from in between your legs

•EYE CONTACT!!!

“baby look at me”

“look at me or i’ll stop”

“who is making you feel this good”

“say my name”

•she wants you to be loud

•like if you cover your mouth she will take her fingers out of you just to use that hand to take your hand off of your mouth

“i wanna hear you”

“wanna hear those pretty little noises so bad”

•she doesn’t get possessive (she def does she just says she dont-like be so fr rn)

•she def gets super jealous and like to the point where paige and ice and everyone find it so hilarious but yk what’s gonna happen when yall get home

•jealous kk = strap

“do you wish paige was fucking you right now?”

“let them hear how good im making you feel”

“who’s fucking you this good? lemme hear”

•i feel like she doesn’t tease much (unless she’s jealous ofc)

• after care!!(she orders food for yall and you guys just cuddle)

•after yall are done she is regular adorable lovey kk again

•she kisses your head

“you know i love you right?”

“ilysm baby”

anyway that’s it!!

you hope you guys like it!!! send more requests this is fun!

big forehead kisses 💕

-faye

[aradassbadass]

cellular sentiment | ceedee lamb ꨄ iv

‘& shii took everything not to give yo lil ass exactly what you wanted. now call me and lemme see hear it forreal’

you stared at the message stomach in knots. part of you wanted to be excited knowing that it was something in him that yearned for you just as you did him, but the nervousness overpowered that feeling entirely.

you throw your phone on the bed in frustration.

he wants me- or at least it sounds like he does. what if its just a joke. no he’s grown and this isnt high school anymore guys dont just flirt with you as a dare anymore. but guys like him, guys that can have anybody they want, usually tend not to go for somebody whose status isnt similar to their own.

falling back onto the pillows your towel falls off of you leaving your bare body exposed to the air. nipples going frigid and you glance down at yourself- something you often try to avoid. you grab at the pudge of your stomach and sigh.

these moments tended to happen where youd find yourself being overly cautious about your body. usually itd be when you were shopping for clothes seeing as to how you didnt find yourself in a lot of situations that pertained men. you didnt seek out relationships, you never had, and whether it was due to your intense schedule or your subconscious fear of rejection you didnt take much time pondering on it. this for some reason really bothered you.

your phone began to vibrate throwing your train of thought out of the window. you stare at it as it rings body stiff and unmoving.

i cant do this right now.

declining the phone you turn on do not disturb.

you know ignoring the situation wont make it go away entirely but hopefully this will deter it for now.

ꨄ

it had been 5 days since you had last talked to cedarian and you would be lying if you said this little escapade didnt hurt. a sea of emotion still clouded your better judgement but you knew you couldnt keep it up much longer.

the calls & messages from him did not cease after that night. he felt bad that much you could tell and it made you feel ten times worse.

im sorry i shouldnt have said that

can u please answer

i shouldnt have said that

fuck please answer i js wanna talk

answer me please

im sorry goodnight

hey js got out of practice i hope you have a good day at work im sorry again for ts

please answer me

hello

goodnight im so sorry

every single message from monday on was akin to one another. you wanted to respond but you felt bad for all the time you didnt so you continued till ignore him or that was until now.

you sat in your car outside of your house as the phone rang on carplay. you groaned and hit the wheel in frustration- not at cee but at your childish antics. you sighed and clicked the green button on the screen heart thumping as you did.

the other end of the line was silent at first then came the rasp of the voice you missed so much.

“hey.” a word so simple yet it felt so loaded with emotion.

“hi.” you say in response, internally kicking yourself.

“i-i um i dont know where to begin- im sorry for what i said. it was inappropriate- really inappropriate for our friendship and i-i dont know why i even sent that. fuck im sorry these few days have been hell without talking to you.” he says voice laced with emotions- sadness and regret being the most prominent.

it tugs at your heart strings and you feel worse than you did before seeing how you made him feel. “cee, you dont have to apologize. none of this is your fault. i freaked out when i read the message and started over analyzing shit because i couldnt process my own feelings towards the situation. fuck, im sorry none of this is your fault thought.”

the other side of the line is quiet and if not for the screen still displaying his contact you would have thought he hung up.

“over analyzing what?” he quizzes and you could all but picture him somewhere eyes wondering as he chews on his bottom lip.

“the fact that you could feel even remotely attracted to me. you are you and well im just me. i-i dont know cedarian i just kept thinking someone like him- someone who has the world at their disposal could even feel something as meaningful as desire or anything towards someone like me. it just made me relive all the times i was asked out as a dare or some stupid joke. i really do like you cedarian, you are one of the only people i still have with me and i-it all felt too good too be true to think that you actually liked me too.” you say the last part quietly.

the line is quiet again and you suddenly feel stupid. “see, i knew it was too good to be real.“ you say voice shaky as tears spill from your eyes.

“what, no, no. stop crying please god stop crying i feel the same way about you. no cruel jokes or anything. you dont see yourself like i do- you are beyond beautiful.” he says words beginning to soothe the ache of your heart.

“ you dont understand how your voice is my favorite thing to hear after a game- win or loss. you dont see how when im on long flights home i go through the album of screenshots i have of just of you. you dont even know how good it felt to finally hold you in my arms after wanting to do that for so fucking long. when i say it took every ounce of self restraint i had to just hold you and nothing more when i heard you call out for me i meant that. i dont ever want you to have to want for anything as long as there is breathe in me because you deserve everything.”

hearing this your heart skips a beat. you feel an immense sense of relief at the words and a new found yearning for him, something just short of primal.

“cee,” you say voice barely above a whisper.

“just say the words baby.”

“i need you.”

[yanderemommabean]

Hey beans! Bit of an update-

This post will include mentions of abuse so, please, don't read if that will harm you in any way!

Sorry for the lack of posts lately! With how weird my school is with testing and clinicals, I've had hardly any real time to feel like I could sleep AND create. On top of that, I am still in the unfortunate position of living with my abuser, along with the rest of my family who seem to be going downhill.

While I'm hoping I can get a job to save up to move out of this state, that's going to take time, and its time I fear I don't have some nights as just the other night while bringing home groceries, I was met with my step dads gun directly in my face, and him being mad I was "Coming home late at ten at night" when it was, in fact, only 9:15 and I made myself known as I walked up the stairs.

My grandma is also a big issue, she's draining as usual but its taking more of a toll on me by the day. I no longer get food stamps either which is a reason she wants to start in on me every day I walk out of my room. The verbal abuse is one thing but she's threatening again and if I stand up for myself I'm seen as the bad guy.

My mom who used to be a person I thought I could turn to is now down a rabbit hole about "Woke" culture and now sees anyone in the LGBTQ community as brainwashers, yet when I remind her I am bisexual, she seems to backtrack a bit and say "Well no, not you, you're a good one"

She's also back into worshipping the Christian God, which I have absolutely no issue with, but she's telling me that I cant have my tarot cards or my own craft in my room like I'm some 15 year old who doesn't understand religions, and not 24 and choosing my own way in life. She keeps insisting that I pray, that I thank God, that I'm a sinner, anything to make her feel like she's scaring me into "Changing". I keep telling her she's driving a wedge between us, but it seems to be for nothing.

Every day I feel like my support net is crumbling, and I feel like this trip to save up is going to be fruitless as I don't have my own car, I have to find a way to get the doctors I need if I even get to the state I'm moving to, and so on and so on.

Any who, I'm going through a lot and can't seem to catch a break but I love you beans! I hope you're all doing good and having a wonderful day!

-Mommabean

[playgrl0]

it's always been you / hanma

wc: 2,533

when hanma picks up his phone and hears your sniffles at the other end of the line, he knew right away what the reason for your tears were. he tells you to send him your location and stay where you are and that he's gonna pick you up. with a deep sigh he grabs his zip up hoodie and leaves to come and pick you up.

you went on a date with this ´funny looking´​ guy, as shuji would say. he has no idea what you see in him and he doesn't like that you hang out with him. at all.why? hanmathinks that he makes it pretty obvious that he likes you romantically. he doesn’t hide it at all, he constantly flirts with you and is extremely touchy, just like a boyfriend would be.

but hanma is your best friend, not your boyfriend. he never told you straight up that he's in love with you though. and you’re probably the most oblivious human on this planet, which is pretty amusing to him, so he wants you to figure it out yourself. when you first told him that you're talking to and hanging out with another guy that isn't him, he felt like committing arson. you told him that the reason you started talking to him was because you wanted to get over another guy that you were crushing on, and forget about him. so, you're using a guy to get over another one, and none of those boys are him? committing arson wouldn't be enough at this point.

about ten minutes after your call, hanma finally arrives at a bus station a few houses away from where that boy lives. you’re sitting on the bench, face finally dry from the few tears that were streaming down your face not too long ago. the sound of hanma’s bike catches your attention and you watch how he parks the bike, gets off, walks over to you and sits down next to you.

“d’ya want me to beat the fuck outta him?” he speaks up and takes off his zip up hoodie, “i think he’d look better with a few bruises and blood streaming down his face. that fucking asshole.” he mumbles as he puts the hoodie over your shoulders and then pulls out a cigarette and starts smoking. you only shake your head no as you put the hoodie on properly and keep staring straight ahead, which hanma finds weird. it's so unlike you to be quiet, even when you’re upset. that guy must've really hurt your feelings and hanma plans on hurting him way worse once he took care of you. “you wanna tell me what happened?” he asks and takes another drag from his cigarette. you sigh, “long story short, he said that i'm not good enough and he prefers a girl he's been talking to behind my back.” you quietly answer him. oh how hanma would love nothing more than to beat this guy unconscious. not good enough? you? the most amazing person he has ever met? and he knows, hanma knows that he should comfort you right now but since he's hanma, he cant help himself and let out a comment he's been waiting to say to you the second you called because he knew this would happen.

“i told you he's an asshole but you didn't listen.” he shrugs and earns a slap on the back of his shoulder. “thanks for nothing. drive me home.” you grumble and get up from the bench and walk over to his bike. he follows you with a smirk gracing his lips. “the fuck are you smirking at?” you ask pissed, arms crossed over your chest. he chuckles as he puts the helmet he specifically bought stole for you on your head. he makes sure it's secure and chuckles. “you’re not actually pissed at me and i'm not taking you home. you’re sleeping at my place tonight. hop on the bike.” he gets on and waits for you to get on as well. you sit on the bike behind hanma and wrap your arms around his middle. once he feels your arms holding tightly onto him, he starts driving you both to his place. you lean your head against his back, as good as the helmet allows it, close your eyes and think about everything that has happened. you knew from the beginning that dating this guy wouldn't end well. you knew that he was an asshole, shuji was right. fuck, you dont even have feelings for that guy, at all. you only wanted to distract yourself. at this point you’ll try everything to forget about him. to forget your feelings about shuji. right now it's hard to ignore those feelings. your stomach is filled with butterflies as you hold onto your best friend. you shouldn't feel like this about him. you shouldn't feel your knees weaken every time he smiles at you, your heart beating faster every time he touches you. it's so wrong. he's your best friend and that's all he’ll ever be.

“we’re here.” hanma's deep voice pulls you out of your thoughts. he stops the bike in front of his apartment building and gets off. he turns to you and gently removes the helmet from your head, then holds your hand to help you off the bike. and once again, your heart beats faster at his touch. you finally make your way into his apartment where you remove your shoes first and then walk into his bedroom where you flop face down onto his bed. you hear him chuckle behind you and he lets himself fall beside you. he's laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling while you're still on your stomach, face buried in his pillows. “how’re you feeling? wanna talk about it?” he breaks the short silence. you turn your head to look at him, his beautiful side profile makes your heart flutter, and you feel yourself starting to grow frustrated once again. why is he so handsome? you turn away again, “i'm pissed but i'm okay. i'll just find another guy. no problem.” you mutter into his pillows. hanma turns to look at you and is met with the back of your head. without realizing it his hand travels to your head where he starts to comfortingly scratch your scalp. it's something he’s always done to you, ever since you two were little. he does it when he knows you’re not feeling well, it helps you calm down and feel better. you turn your head back to him with a smile. “if you keep doing this i'll fall asleep.” he removes the hand and grins back at you. “you’re not going to sleep until you tell me what's going on with you.” “what do you mean?” you frown. a sigh leaves hanma's lips, “i mean, what's up with with you and wanting to desperately date someone? you never cared about relationships like that and it's so unlike you to just go out and date random idiots.” you turn to lay on your back as well and stare at the ceiling. fuck, what now? do you tell him the truth or should you lie? lying to him wouldn't even work anyway. he knows you too well and he knows when you’re lying. you suck at it. “earth to y/n?!” hanma pulls you out of your thoughts once again and pushes your shoulder with his. “c’mon, talk to me.”

you sigh deeply and sit up, leaning against the headboard of his bed, he follows your moves and looks at you, waiting for you to finally speak. "okay,” you sigh again. “i've been dating all these boys because i thought i could find the right one and that he would help me forget about my feelings that i have for someone else.” hanma hides his disappointment really well. it’s been hard for him to see you dating one guy after another and then telling him right into his face that you have real feelings for someone else. someone that isn’t him. fuck. but this isnt about him right now, its about you and he needs to make you feel better. if there’s one thing in this world that shuji hanma hates, it's seeing you upset. “oh. well, why do you want to forget about that other person so badly? why not just confess to them?” he casually speaks up. “yeah, no! i’m going to stop you right there. i definitely won't do that. it’ll ruin everything.” you mumble the last part quietly but he still hears it. “ruin what?” he frowns. “ugh, our friendship! it’ll ruin our fucking friendship!” you burst out, feeling super frustrated at this point. and what does hanma do?

he fucking laughs.

you look at him with the hardest death stare. “what’s so fucking funny?” you huff. hanma finally calms down and wipes an imaginary tear from under his eye. “a friendship? i’m literally the only friend you have. you have no friends other than me, idiot.” he finishes his sentence with a small chuckle and lays back down, both arms resting behind his head. your face heats up at his words. no, its fucking burning. you feel like your skin is about to burn off your bones. did you say too much? does he know now?

“i do have other friends, bastard!” you stutter over your words. “the sweet old lady that lives across from you and the little boy from the playground dont count. i’m your one and only.” he has the most proudest and widest shit eating grin on his face. “fuck you!” you throw one of his pillows at him and press another one on his face, trying to not actually suffocate him. he easily snatches the pillow from you and throws it right back at you. you catch it and bury your face in it. when you don't remove your face from the pillow again and don't say a word for a while, hanma grows nervous. did he say something wrong? he softly pinches your leg, “what’s wrong?” you finally remove the pillow and lay down next to him with a deep sigh. “you caught me.” you mumble defeated. “what do you mean?” he is more than confused right now. “that i like you.” the words leave your mouth faster than you wanted to. they just slipped out.

the both of you are staring at each other now, both of your eyes wide open and in shock. “shut the fuck up! i’m the guy you've been trying to forget about?” you dont think you’ve ever seen him so shocked at something before. “no! fuck! i didnt mean to..ugh! no, yes! yes, it's you. it’s always been you.” you ramble on while hiding your face behind your hands. hanma is a smiling mess right now. he just watches you being all flustered and listens to your rambles. he didn’t think it would be impossible for you to catch feelings for him, he just never thought that it would actually happen and he is more than fucking happy right now.

he quickly rolls on top of you and removes your hands from your face. he is met with your beautiful eyes that are staring right back at him in shock. this isn’t the first time in your friendship that he's on top of you or that you've been on top of him, but you just confessed your love to him and now he's laying right on top of your body and you feel like you might explode from feeling so embarrassed. you wish you could just sink right into the mattress and then disappear completely.

“cat got your tongue? what happened to your rambling?” he breaks the silence, smirking. “fuck off!” you whine, turning your head away. you know him too damn well so you know that hes gonna tease the fuck out of you now and hes going to have the time of his life with this. he suddenly grabs your chin and turns your head back to look at him. “i know you’re fucking embarrassed right now and i find it hilarious,” the smirk never leaves his lips and you roll your eyes at him. “but, i like you as well. i’m pretty sure you knew that though.”“shuji?? i did not know that?!” you squeal. “oh? i thought i was being pretty obvious. you’re just blind i guess.” he chuckles. “but anyway, i do like you as well. and now that you know that, please stop going out with other men before i end up murdering them all.” you both break out into a fit of laughter. hanma lets his head fall into the crook of your neck and you wrap your arms around him.

the laughter dies down after a short while and he mumbles against your neck, “please be my girlfriend?” he asks a bit careful and removes his head from your neck to look at you. “yeah,” you answer, smiling like an idiot. “i’ll be your girlfriend, yes!” you happily pull him into a hug, his head buried in your neck again. “thank god you said yes, i would've actually went on a murder spree to get rid of every single man.” “i know you would.” you laugh again as he pulls his head away from you again, his hand softly brushing over your warm cheek. “so, i can kiss you now that you're my girl, right?” he grins. “of course!” he wastes no time and presses his lips against yours and in that moment you feel like this is not only the happiest moment of your life, but also the most beautiful one. you thought and dreamt about this very moment so many times more than you would like to admit to yourself, but the reality of having his lips move softly against yours is a million times better than any of your dreams have ever been. his lips are surprisingly soft and warm and they're moving perfectly against yours, his tongue brushing over your bottom lip every once in a while. you don’t want this moment to end, ever, and neither does hanma. he’s kissing you gently but with a small hint of desperation and his big, calloused hands cupping your cheeks. he deepened the kiss and you pulled him as close to your body as you possibly could and both of you wanted more, more of each other, but your air is ran out so you finally pulled away and now you’re looking into each others eyes again while panting softly.

“fuck, if i knew kissing you would feel this fucking good, i would’ve hoped ​one of those guys you dated would hurt your feelings way sooner.” he earns a slap on the back of his head for that. “you could’ve confessed as well, why’d you wait so long?” you snap back. “ah, that’s a story for another time. i want more kisses.” he wastes no time and presses his lips against yours again.

he kisses you over and over and over again. throughout the entire night. “you’re mine now. forever.” he said.

he’ll never let you go.

tags: @ranscutedoll @bertholdts--butt @zazcie @getcozylove @hoshiko @nanaosaki3940 @nanamikentoseyebags @sin-and-punishment @peachebmad @wakashawty @shamelessperfectionhideout @vmlnrz @saintokkotsu @satanlovesusall666 @kiirsteinn @noritopia @gothamgurl2024 @unknownspecies

<3 @ playgrl0

[jewish-vents]

i finally got up the energy to watch the john oliver segment on the west bank (i normally like his stuff/opinions but anything about i/p is such a fucking landmine for me these days) and by the end of it my fiancé who was sitting next to me was like “we can stop. we can turn it off if it’s making you this mad” but i was so rage-invested that i watched until the end.

i HATE that the entire segment is ostensibly about the current status quo in the west bank (judea and samaria for anybody with any historical fucking knowledge of the area) and never mentions the palestinian authority ONCE. he accuses israel of apartheid as if they are the only people with any control over what happens in the west bank and as if the pa is like. a fairytale that doesn’t actually exist and have real sovereign powers over their areas in the west bank. it’s so gross!! it made me feel so gross!! because without discussing the pas role in the current status quo (or even WHY the current status quo is the way that it is) you CANT have a real conversation about the west bank. it’s just so disingenuous. you can criticize what is happening there without presenting a one-sided narrative that only addresses israel’s role and places all the blame on them. he DID mention the 6 day war but FAILED to mention WHY it was fought/who it was actually fought with, making it seem like israel just attacked the poor palestinians and annexed their land for no reason!! not because they were attacked by multiple surrounding countries on the holiest day of our fucking year!! mentioning that or even acknowledging israelis as having any humanity apparently makes you one of (((them)))

there were a lot of moments that were good, and then so many that were thinly veiled condescension towards any jewish audience members—like he DID mention christian zionists and how gross they can be, and then essentially chastised jews for taking support from them?? which. ok buddy that’s not really an issue you’ve demonstrated yourself qualified to speak on. i know my synagogue works with a local christian zionist organization and it’s probably because who the fuck else is willing to help us!!! really!!! you point out that our only allies don’t actually want to help us (like we don’t fucking know that) without an OUNCE of reflection as to WHY jews might be working with people who openly state that they want us to be converted by j. chrizzy during the rapture. you don’t have to tell us why that’s bad we fucking know!! please call me up when you have any other organizations with money and political power in the us who are willing to do even the slightest fucking thing to assist jewish communities!! i’ll die waiting!!

it’s just. the lack of concern for presenting a nuanced depiction of what is happening in the west bank all while pretending to be presenting a nuanced and well-researched (lmao) depiction of the west back. yes they did some things right (citing israeli sources, finding israeli and palestinian people talking about it instead of secondary sources, no al j. in sight) and that actually makes me ANGRIER because it shows that they could have spent the proper time breaking this down! they clearly have the research skill for this over there! there is NO WAY, in all their time spent on b’tselem (source they actually cited which i was impressed by considering i didn’t know non jewish americans knew abt them) that they didn’t run across a single article about the pas role in the current status quo in the west bank. you can’t break down what areas a b and c are without also understanding the pas role in that. there’s just so much that’s not there that should be and it’s so infuriating because you know that it was a choice. they know about the pa. they know why the wall was built and why the checkpoints are in place. they just don’t fucking care. he cites the number of israelis killed in a period of years and then points out that ten times that number of palestinians were killed in the same timeframe. which is so gross!! let’s not compare piles of corpses to determine moral superiority thanks!! and presenting those numbers devoid of any context other than “many of them [palestinians] were killed by israeli security forces” only serves to minimize israeli suffering and concern for their safety while ALSO minimizing legitimate palestinian suffering by lumping in victims of anti-arab hate crimes with terrorists killed by the military. it’s gross and patronizing and for all the jokes he makes about shit he can’t talk about as a british american he is sure running his fucking mouth

i just wish people would stop trying to condense this conflict down into something that’s easily digestible and consumable in less than 30 minutes. there are horrible people on both sides and refusing to acknowledge that stops the conversation before it can start. all this did was further villainize israel in the minds of armchair expert leftists (since john is like a king to them) and contribute absolutely nothing meaningful or interesting to the conversation. it’s just regurgitated uncontextualized pseudo intellectual bullshit. i’m an english teacher i can sniff a pile when i see one. i rlly wish leftists would just. leave us alone already. new year is coming up and i’m trying to find it in my heart to forgive you know? but fuck that. i’m so sick of goyim talking down to us about this issue while simultaneously being the most misinformed fucks (whether by choice or sheer stupidity) to walk g-ds green earth. i guess i’m just tired.

.

[princesssmars]

another one of my dreams that i have to write out because it flabbergasted me and two of my friends. but this time about hazel from bottoms.

ok, reader is the new girl at school. in my dream i was kind of a loser (accurate) but because i can write what i want (and i've read @ptolemaeacles cheerleader headcanons ten times) im changing it.

so reader is trying out to be cheerleader! it helps you make a few friends, isabel being the best one because she’s amazing, beautiful, and a little weird in a really endearing way. she finds you interesting, given your natural talent for dancing and how despite doing vulgar dance moves on the football field, off of it you can be a shy and sweet person!

because of this isabel, brittany and you are pretty much always together. and since they're popular and seen everywhere, that means you are seen everywhere!

which means hazel cant take a fucking break.

walking to sit with pj and josie during lunch and means almost having a heart attack when she sees you handing out flyers for the next school event, looking so ethereal in your cheer uniform she nearly trips over herself.

or when every morning she sits two rows over from you in math class, not so sneakily staring at you for minutes at a time while doing her worksheets.

despite being close to a genius, she thinks there's no way in hell you have ever noticed her. never seen the way your eyes will drift to her when she's sitting in the bleachers while, you're practicing, how you're heart will race when the teacher is calling names for project partners with the chance that the brunette could be in your group.

so sure you had a crush that was going nowhere, but you had a nice bunch of new friends, so people we're starting to like you!

all except one.

mrs. fucking barnes.

for whatever reason, your second period english teacher had decided on your first day to make your senior year a living fucking hell.

put a good amount of effort into an essay? you get a d minus!

want to share a comment you had about the book the class is reading? shut up silly, jeff is going to popcorn read and stutter over a basic sentence!

but one friday, you decided to skip class and the next week she went ballistic.

now, since moving to town, you had noticed that the people here were a little odd, regularly seeing a normal interaction or conversation go to the extreme in seconds.

so, when you're hovering over the toilet in the girls bathroom, a small thought in your brain that loves to say what if's asks: what if somebody bursted in here right now?

when you finish and stand up to pull your jeans up, only to be interrupted when the stall doors bust open with a loud bang! you think for split second that god can literally hear your thoughts and is making you pay for whatever sins you've committed.

those sins must have been fucking murder to make up for how mortified you felt standing in a cramped girls bathroom stall, your pants down with three people staring at you/

the first, mrs. barnes, wearing a look thats a mix between anger and regret.

the second is nettie brown, a girl you recognized from your art class who you remember complimented your heels and you did the same for her coat.'

and then, standing in front the sinks with eyes that look as big as fucking saucers, hazel callahan herself.

your brain catches up to your body and you manage to splutter out a string of curses and yells, forcing the door back closed as the teachers splutters out an excuse about someone telling her you had started doing weed in the bathrooms.

you hear her and some more shoes shuffling out of the bathroom, taking a minute to gather your bearings before you leave the bathroom. when you open the door again you rest your hands on the counter, your eyes closed as you take a breath. when you look up to your reflection, in your peripheral you see a figure standing awkwardly at the back of the bathroom, blue eyes avoiding looking at you.

"hazel?" you ask under your breath, turning around to look at her dead on. she flinches to attention like a child called to attention.

"uh...i just wanted to make sure that you were alright, what she did was really fucked up."

"oh," you mouth, grateful that after something so embarrassing this girl who you barely knew was waiting in a crappy bathroom to make sure you were alright. if it was possible your crush on her just grows. "thank you. that means a lot to me."

her face lights up so brightly you think it could light up a city.

"no problem! i mean, really who cares that much about weed, anyway? i've never cared about bush anyway-"

the room gets silent.

as she quickly rushes out an apology and leaves, all you can think about is how its weird you've been shocked like this twice in a span of ten minutes, and that you have got to ask hazel callahan on a date.

i made this a lot cuter than it was in my dream. i was in the bathroom, looking at these really nice coats on the counter ?? when the door opened, hazel just said "y'know ive never minded bush" and the sheer confusion made wake up.

i put my senior year english teacher in here because. i still hate that bitch.

[a-new-wish-6-3]

Another reason why peri has problems with dev.

A lot of people already mentioned peris Lack of experience, his good relationship with his parents and the babying which leads to dev not treating peri nice.

But i want to add one more thing which a lot of people dont take actually in Account. And that is that dev is the first Person peri ever met who was younger than him and its been a long time since he met someone close to his own age, making him socially indept. After all peri is the only fairy born in a tousand years. With the closed fairy in age beeing his dad.

If we go with timmy, peri had someone close to his age until he was 6-8. Than cosmo and wanda quit and moved to fairy world. There we know that no humans are allowed and that other species dont really live there. So peri is the only kid in the entire world.

Could have peri have at least had friends from other species ? Humans, pixys, anti-fairys are out. But maybe he made friends in school.

I think the school we say is one of many and as people grow older they go into seperate school. I am no Expert in fairly oddparents but i know we saw cosmo at least two times in school. One where mama cosma showed him around 6 years old in a Montage and one where we saw cosmo old school bullys. What both have in Common is that there where only fairys around. Which makes sence to put all species together to learn reading, math, etc and than seperate because they have different powers, cultures, body, historys, etc. So peri ( and irep ) would start eather homeschooling or continue to learn in an completly empty school with no other students besides himself. Considering cosmo and wanda lack of some knowledge i can see him going to school ( irep can learn from anti cosmo ).

The godparent school is the one where i am 100 % sure that peri was in an empty school. Not only did cosmo and wanda didnt know he was studying and becoming an godparent, but no other species is allowed to take this curse.

Meaning peri had one older kid in timmy only until he was 6-8 and some clasmates the same age as his until maybe 5 and than spent the Rest of his years in a world where every other Person was an adult.

Peri only worked with people much more mature than him. That is why he never expects that some things children do are stupid and they will not say what they need. Dev will just demand things and not tell him what he really needs because figuring out your Problem and beeing mature enough to find an answer or at least be able to pinpount where it cames from is not a ten year old skill. Cosmo and wanda talked to timmy about his problems and where able to get to his problems by reading between the lines if he didnt want to outride tell them what upset him or didnt know himself why he was mad. Peri expects dev to be able to tell him what he needs, which is not a skill neglected kids have and beeing able to read such Moods require experience which younger or at least closed aged people. If you never had friends you will be socially indept.

In short peri treats dev like an adult. He explains things outride and expects dev to understand and is lost if dev isnt capable of explaining his anger to him. So he cant know what dev is thinking or how to treat a child in general.

Peri never had a real childhood or close friends. He only had his parents which is great in Forming bonds with adults but takes away his ability to Adapt to younger or even same aged people.

That can also be why he hates beeing babyed. If you are the only child with a Buch of adults you will want to be an adult just so you could fit in somewhere. Showing himself more mature than he actually is and even hiding some of his childness ( like hazel did ). Except peri did this forever. Quiet sad actually. Thank god his parents are such goofy people, showing him it is okay to keep some childishness even as you grow up. Otherwise peri would never been allowed to even act like a child.

[excalibur-gone-missing]

Paring: Dino x fem!reader

Requested: no

Genre: angst, fluff

Warning(s): cheating, angst, sadness, mentions of pregnancy (do inform me if there's more)

Summary: You were the light guiding Chan for the most of his life. now that you are not there anymore, he cant help but feel your absence as he reminisces his past and all those times you were there to ground him no matter what.

Word count: 6k

Other works

disclaimer: this is not the exact representation of the subjects in real life. I just use them for my inspiration.

special thanks to @spamgyu for helping me out 😭

a/n: I would greatly appreciate it if all of you could take a moment to comment on this fic. As an author, I find great value in your feedback, as it allows me to better comprehend my readers, and I thoroughly enjoy interacting with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcome, so don't hesitate to talk about this fic or send me an ask.

[permanent taglist] [only for those interested, don’t fill the form otherwise]

Chan's life was determined before he had a chance to consider it. His family wasn't well-off. They struggled from early on to get food on their plates. He knew from when he was a child that he had to support his siblings because his parents refused to do so.

So that’s exactly what he did. He got into SNU with a full scholarship, secured a good job, and built a stable life with six figures coming in annually to his bank account, providing enough money to support his siblings’ dreams.

But what did it all get him?

Nothing!

He sacrificed his teens and his twenties because his father felt the need to be a raging alcoholic, and now he stands in the middle of Gangnam in his beautiful flat with its polished floors. But he lacks the most important thing in life: happiness.

To be truthful, he lacks a lot of things, but happiness takes the cake. If someone asks him, he lacks friends too. But our dearest Boo Seungkwan would like to disagree about that. In Chan’s defense, friends are absolutely not equal to friend (just a difference of ‘s’, as our dear ‘Kwanie’ said. Plus, his multiple personalities make up for the said lack of ’s’, which further raises the question as to why the man does not go for a checkup, as it seems he has self-diagnosed DID. We shall never know).

Chan is happy about his brothers doing what they like, though. It’s not that hard to not be happy when he literally raised them. Sacrifices need to be made, he has realized; some just make more than others, and there is nothing one can do about that. He accepts that he is indeed grateful for the friend he has made, the one who has stayed with him and accepted him as he is.

Now, it may sound sappy, and Chan swears he will never tell this to Seungkwan, but he has indeed helped him through the thick and thin of life. All those late-night drinking sessions and ugly crying have brought him to this stage in life where he thinks of the boy as more of a family than anyone else. He helped him when Chan’s life was falling apart, and he also was there to scold him back to the right track when no one believed in him, not even himself.

Although he lacks happiness, he is fine with that (he at least has Boo Seungkwan). He can live with being sad; he already has!

This is where you came in, the reason for Chan’s genuine smiles, from back in college to five years ago. It was a pretty serious relationship that you both had. Chan loved you. He had plans of making you his wife. For God’s sake, he was in a relationship with you for almost ten years! But somewhere along the way, he messed up. He became the exact thing he had hated all his life.

He became a person like his father.

You, being the nice kind, tried your best to stop him from spiraling down the rabbit hole of bad habits. But alas, it takes two to tango, and if he didn’t want to be better, no one, not even God himself, could do it for him.

It took losing you to realize how messed up his life had become.

--

“Chan, I’m heading out. Dinner’s in the fridge—please actually eat it this time. We don’t need two meal skippers in this household,” you quipped, watching as Chan chuckled and gave you a quick giggle inducing peck before returned his attention to the document he’d been typing for the past hour.

“Sure thing, Your Majesty. Your command shall be dutifully followed!” he exclaimed with a mock salute, drawing out another laugh from you. With a playful ruffle of his hair and another peck on his cheek, you left the apartment to begin your night shift at the hospital.

Chan, unlike you, has just started his new job after completing his MBA. It’s been tough, but he’s persevered, and soon enough, you both will be able to enjoy the luxuries he could only dream of growing up.

Your fifth anniversary is approaching faster than ever, and now Chan finally has the means to fulfill your dream of a trip to Europe. The pressure of this new job is more than the last one, but getting those tickets would be a walk in the park now.

Quickly finishing his document and mailing it to the head of the department, he immediately goes to check those flight ticket prices and hotel prices. He releases a happy sigh the minute he realizes that it’s exactly what he had expected the prices to be. So, without wasting a single moment, he buys those tickets. He knew this gift would make you happier than ever.

The next month, you had been notified about the expensive purchase only because you had to get a leave from your job, and you obviously can’t disappear for two weeks unannounced. He, in reality, had no plans to inform you about anything, but he couldn’t interfere with your job either.

But at the end it was worth it, the look on your face the minute you were informed about the trip. Oh, if only Chan could frame it and keep it away from the world, only if he could keep you near him and never let you go. But he didn’t think of that then. No, he was happy he had told you earlier.

The happiness radiating off you as you kept going on and on about the clothes you needed to buy, all the foods you were going to try once there. It was what helped him keep going throughout the day, even though the work became tiring with every passing minute.

If only he could have stopped time and lived in that moment forever.

—

One thing he never realized is how demanding his job would be once he got into a higher position. The calls kept him up at night; they came at the most ungodly of times, and Chan was expected to pick them up, because he always did.

You never complained; it was fine by you. If anyone understood him, it was you. Both of you had highly demanding jobs, and nothing could beat the expectations your colleagues had on you both.

But what he had not counted on was those calls interrupting your trip. During the entirety of your anniversary, he was glued to that phone of his, never once able to leave it. It was one problem at the office or the other.

Again, you kept your mouth shut, enjoying your own company as your boyfriend busied himself with work in the hotel room.

That was the last trip you both had gone on. You figured that it was too much to ask from someone who had so much work to do. But still, you understood his hunger to do better in life. You understood that someone had to compromise in the relationship and wholeheartedly accepted that it had to be you.

Coming to think of it, it was not supposed to be like this. Never! Both of you were supposed to communicate and figure out what your relationship was supposed to mean. But somewhere along the line, it just became regular sex and nothing else. When you talked about this with your friends, all of them had the same reaction.

‘Leave him!’ they had told you, ‘he wouldn’t change, he prefers his job more than you.’

It was a regular thing now. But you were scared. All the years you had invested in the relationship, you never wanted it to become what it had. You had held out hope that one day Chan would notice you. He would realize he had a girlfriend who also needs his attention as much as his job.

It didn’t take too long for those dreams to come true, though.

—

One night, you sat down with the man, asking him about the changes in his life. You begged him to look your way beyond the times he made love to you. It was an intense conversation, filled with words that neither of you actually meant, but hurt you both equally.

That night brought you both another few years, or that’s what you think. It became better, both your lives and the relationship. You both would talk more, spend time with each other, laugh with each other, and go about your days with lovesick smiles on your faces. Although none of your jobs became less hectic, it still was as painstaking as ever, but the scenery in your shared home was peaceful. It was both of your comfort zones.

What neither of you realized, this peace that you both had brought back into your lives, was fickle. In order to keep it like that, both of you had to put in some effort.

—

It slowly became visible to both of you how much more effort this relation of yours needed. Both of you saw the way your paradise was crumbling down bit by bit. Nights became lonely for you. Chan, being the perfectionist he is, would be stuck up in his office until the rays of sun hit the glass windows, reminding him of the fact that he indeed had stayed the night in his office. The hectic job took everything away from him. It stripped him of his identity, and slowly it was also stripping his happiness and sanity away. It was like the darker times had hit both of you again.

It was then that he suddenly passed out on the streets due to extreme fatigue and was brought immediately into the nearest hospital, which was the one you worked at. Lo and behold, you were the nurse on emergency room duty that day. This was the first time you saw the love of your life in that state; you saw what this new job had done to him. How it had taken this happy and healthy person you knew and turned him into this sick, unhappy, and overworked person. Your helplessness mocked you in your face. At night, you stayed by his side after the doctors had given their verdict about him being too overworked. You took care of him like never before, making sure to make him take an ample amount of rest.

Sadly, the industry is ruthless. As soon as the employers became aware that their once highly valuable employee’s usefulness had diminished, they ultimately opted to terminate him. Although Chan claims there were some more internal politics involved in this sacking, there was no way he could have evaded it.

Both of you soon realized it was the best thing that could have happened to him. While being the worst experience he could ever go through in his corporate career.

You stayed by his side through every hurdle though. You never once let him feel the need to be more than what he already was. But life was giving both of you a hard time.

It took Chan another month to get a new job. But only this time, it was a better, more important position in a better company. This is when life took off for both of you again. With Chan back on track, equipped with the newfound knowledge of not working more than necessary, he was on a roll. Almost unstoppable.

This change also affected your relationship, but positively this time. Chan and you would go on constant dates and enjoy each other’s company way more than ever.

—

It was nearing your seventh anniversary. Both of you had talked about getting married and starting a family enough times for him to know this was the perfect time for him to propose.

So, on the day of your seventh anniversary, he had planned to take you to this fancy Italian place. He claimed that you deserved only the best. No one could ever argue with him about that. You, along with Seungkwan, had been by his side for so long that he had forgotten the time when he didn’t have you both. Nothing, absolutely nothing, would change that fact. With that it brought him to the most important question of that year.

“But what ring do I buy her?” the stressed boy asked his best friend.

“Wow, I wasn’t informed about the fact that y/n suddenly had become my girlfriend!” Seungkwan exclaimed sassily.

“Dude, you can calm down. She is still my girl, ain’t no way you are getting her. Find a girl of your own,” the shorter boy retorted back.

Why am I being asked about her preference for a ring then, huh?”

“Because she said, and I quote, ‘if you buy me an expensive engagement ring that I can’t even wear out because it looks too expensive, I will castrate you’,” Chan said seriously, bringing out a seal-like laugh from the back of Seungkwan’s throat.

“Do something meaningful for her then, you dumb fuck,” making Chan almost cringe at the scolding. Without letting the boy talk, his best friend continued, “Put in some effort and do something that shows you care, without having to spend a copious amount of money. I have no idea what you should do, but bro, if it were up to me, a girl would for sure get a ring no matter what!”

Now, this made him think. It made him think hard. But even after all that thinking, he couldn’t come up with a good idea for an alternative for an engagement ring.

It was not until the next Saturday when he was sitting on the couch waiting for you to choose a movie for the weekly movie night, did he stumble upon the perfect idea for a ring? Like any usual person, the man was scrolling through TikTok when he found out that one could make rings out of clay.

Perfect!

If you didn’t want a diamond ring, you shall get a clay ring. For you might catch the sun lacking one day, but not Chan, never Chan!

—

This kick-started the learner phase of Chan’s life once again. He would visit the pottery classes every week because he needed to excel at the art to mold the perfect ring. One suitable for daily wear and also because this hobby brought him more peace than ever.

He made some friends here; they were fun to hang out with. You had met all these new people flooding into his life. He would parade about the with his hand on you showing you off proudly.

“Who wouldn’t?” he would ask whenever someone pointed it out. This question had the power to make him start ranting about you at any given point. So much so that after a point, people stopped asking him about you, no matter the context.

Because, oh boy, was he in love.

--

It took him one year and some friendships to finally complete learning everything there was to learn about pottery. In the course of that time, he had littered your shared house with his creations.

Oh, you wanted to buy a new bowl because you saw it on Instagram? No fear, Chan shall make it this instant. Oops, your favorite coffee mug broke? Chan has come to your rescue with a better, scientifically cute, usable, and overall better mug for you.

The creative spark of the boy never dimmed down, nor did his extroverted nature. Every other day, he would be out with his new friends, so much so that even Boo Seungkwan noticed. You both had chats with each other about the changes in Chan’s life over a cup of tea whenever Seungkwan would come over.

To say that you both were happy about him enjoying life would be an understatement. You had seen the pain the man had gone through in his life. It only made sense for him to have the best of the best experiences when he had the opportunities.

But again, as people say, one should do everything in moderation. It seems that Chan could do nothing in moderation. He would work himself half to death. In this case too, he started drinking and partying himself half to death. The outings that were done to unwind after a long hard day became parties that were making the day even longer.

The friends that helped him overcome the pressuring environment of his office became the ones who would pressure him to go way out of his comfort zone, all for the wrong reasons. People say twenties are times when people experiment with their life and gain new experiences.

The same was applicable for Chan too, the only difference being he was learning different ways of spiraling down holes that are hard to climb up from. The hilarious part being, these were the holes that he had carefully dug out himself.

It’s not like you never stopped him, because you did. The minute you realized these new friends were pushing Chan’s limits in the wrong way, you didn’t waste a second to tell him.

“I think you should calm down with this partying and stuff. It’s unbelievably bad for your health,” you had told him one night when he had come home drunk out of his wits.

“I know how to have fun, not my fault you don’t!”

The boy had shouted at you before collapsing on the couch. Realizing it was a waste of time to even try and talk to him in this state, you tried again the next day when he was far more sober.

“Do you remember what happened yesterday?” you ask Chan, to which he shakes his still-hungover head and winces. Sighing, you continue, “Chan, you can’t let them get to you like this. Moderation is the key here. Please don’t overdo anything, I beg you!” You hugged him, trying to coax him to understand where you were coming from. He obviously hugged you back and promised you to keep your advice in mind the next time they asked him out.

He didn’t. He swears he tried to. But the peer pressure got to him. Before he could even back off, they had already hauled his ass to the bar. He never wanted to disappoint you. So he chose to accept the most coherent plan his drunk mind could formulate: the plan to lie to you.

—

Your seventh anniversary had come and gone a year ago. The only gifts he could provide you that day were a fancy dinner and a solid promise that he would indeed get you the greatest ring you will have ever seen in your whole life. Now the time had come. The time to prove his skills. Those skills he spent an entire year honing.

During this cute date at home, he produced a small wooden box from his pocket. After you had enjoyed the homemade meal he had whipped up for you and you both were cuddling on the balcony, he proposed to you with stars in his eyes and hope in his heart.

He shocked you with the ring. Like your relationship, it was delicate, yet made with lots of love and care. You obviously said yes without hesitation. After all, you loved this man, and he loved you too. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could ever go wrong if he was with you.

--

It seems that no matter how hard you try, life always seems to have other plans for you.

The month right after you accepted his proposal, you received an invitation for a two-year-long workshop in Germany. Such opportunities don’t come every day, so you were elated.

Without wasting any time, you called Chan, informing him about the opportunity you had received. But like every coin, this great opportunity had its drawbacks too.

With the prospect of studying and learning under some of the greatest doctors and nurses came the hardship of leaving your fiancé behind. Chan didn’t like this one bit. He could barely stand to be away from you for a second, let alone two years.

But seeing the excitement on your face and hearing the joy in your voice, he couldn’t bring himself to ask you to stay back. He knew you had sacrificed a lot for him, compromised at times when you could have been happy if he hadn’t made decisions that ruined his life.

--

So he put on a happy smile and told you that if you didn’t take this opportunity, he would pack your bags himself and kick you out of the house. This assurance gave you the confidence you needed. Without wasting any time, you sent an email accepting the proposition to join the workshop.

The next five months passed in a whim. During this time, he had asked you to marry him before you went away, but with a peaceful and determined smile, you had told him, “I will marry you once I come back, like that, we won’t have to spend too much time as newlyweds. Plus, I will be smarter than you too.”

“You are always smarter than me. I can never surpass you,” was the answer you had received, along with a sweet kiss, making your heart swell like a balloon.

Life was starting to feel better again.

Chan had finally made his boundaries very clear. The boy felt extremely guilty for lying to you, though he never confessed to you about doing so. He made sure his actions proved his redemption. He ensured to let these new friends of his know that going out too much with them was affecting him in ways that he didn’t appreciate. Although they did sometimes win against him and force him to go out, it was not as bad as it was before.

—

Soon the day came when you had to fly away to Germany. To say that Chan was sad would be an understatement. He was devastated when he saw you off at the airport with Seungkwan. He had cried the whole way home, making Seungkwan scold him as if he were a baby.

“Now if you keep behaving like this, do you think she would be happy?” the older boy questioned him.

“No, but I miss her already,” Chan replied in a whisper while wiping his tears harshly.

“Be nice, be happy for her. You can talk to her all the time. It’s not the Stone Age,” Seungkwan said with an exasperated sigh, making the younger one stop his sad boy antics at once.

But it was not like Chan was okay. He started working overtime at the office, desperately waiting for you to call him when you got free. And call you did, religiously at six o’clock in the evening.

You both made the decision to talk at that time, regardless of any circumstances. This went on for six months. He tried his best to follow the routine of overworking himself before you would call and save him from killing himself with work.

But with all these works, his willpower also started to crumble down. The old ways came back to him. Before he realized it, he became a party animal. He made new friends at these clubs and bars he started frequenting. He thought you wouldn’t pick up. But you did. You saw how your boyfriend was slowly changing. It was not that obvious at first, but slowly you realized he was getting drowned with work.

Being the lovely girlfriend you were, you asked Seungkwan to take care of him. The boy tried his best to do so. But alas, he was not that successful.

It seemed to both of you that Chan had spiraled back into his overworking session. What you both were unaware of was that it was more than that.

Chan was not just overworking; he was over-drinking and over partying too.

—

One faithful night; he met Eva, his pottery class instructor. She was pretty. They talked the whole night, catching up like old buddies and having fun.

She brought a change to his life again. She started being there for him during times when he would lose himself. She was a great friend, so great that in no time you had the chance to meet her.

You had come back for a week’s vacation. Seungkwan thought it was important for all the friends to meet up because it had been a long time since he had seen you. This meeting was supposed to consist of only you, Chan, and Seungkwan. But Chan asked to bring in another friend he would like you to meet. It was Eva.

You liked her; she was nice. You wanted to be friends with her. Her sweet personality was something no one could resist, a great example of a sweetheart through and through.

For once, you were actually proud of your boyfriend’s choices in life. Your visit was over even before it had started. Suddenly, the week was over, and you were packing your bags to return to Germany.

This time, Chan was not as scared of things going downhill anymore. He knew that within a few more months, you would come back, and he could happily start the wedding preparations. He also knew he had a solid group of friends to have his back. Most importantly, he had learned the art of living without you. Not that it was happy, but now he could enjoy spending time by himself.

—

Time flew faster than ever. In no time, it was Chan’s birthday. Your program would finish that same month, so sadly you couldn’t visit him. All you could do was video call him that morning and congratulate him for hitting thirty before you, to which he grumpily replied, “Your birthday is in six months; I’m gonna make it hell for you.”

“Whatever, old man, get dressed. Don’t you have a job to go to?” You laughed at his grumpy face while teasing him even more.

“I miss you,” Chan suddenly called out, pouting.

“You will meet me next month, Channie. Don’t be this sad now.” Although that did make him happy, the thought of spending yet another birthday without you was saddening. But it’s not like it was going to last. You would be back in no time.

That thought put a smile on his face. Soon enough, he was skipping around the house cooking breakfast and answering numerous calls from his friends and family for being a thirty-year-old now.

Seungkwan and Eva had also planned a not-so-surprise party for him. It consisted of meeting in front of his office and dragging his ass to the bar to drink and have fun. Although the day was spent slaving away in front of the computer, that night he had a lot of fun. He talked to Seungkwan and Eva for hours, and the three of them were pretty intoxicated when they left.

The only thing he remembered from that night was the fact that Eva, being the one out of the three with the most alcohol tolerance, was the one who had made sure that all of them returned home safely.

There was just one slight problem. Eva started to avoid him. Now, in any other situation, he would not have noticed it, but the text the next morning asking him if he remembered anything from the night before had him confused. When he asked her what it was all about, she refused to answer him, opting to ignore him instead.

He had no recollection of the night before, and Seungkwan didn’t either, so it was a mystery to both of them. But then again, his gut told him the problem was bigger than what he thought it was and might come to haunt him if not solved now.

So he did the most sane thing he could think of: He asked her to talk to him about it. He knew the wedding preparations would start the minute you came back, so he wanted to make sure to fix any problem that might affect you both before it blasted out of proportion.

—

“You kissed me,” was the first thing Eva told him after sitting down, making Chan’s heart drop to his stomach.

“Huh, but I don’t remember anything,” Chan retorted.

“It’s not about you remembering or not, it really happened, Chan, and I hate it,” she said, her voice almost breaking.

“Hey, calm down. We were both intoxicated, and we didn’t do it on purpose. Any other time and we wouldn’t have done it,” this seemed to have little to no effect on improving the girl’s mood.

On the other hand, Chan’s blood pressure was rising. The last thing he needed was a big mistake from which he could never turn back. With you coming back from Germany in less than a week, he needed everything in his life to be sorted out, especially something that could jeopardize a relationship with so much love in it.

“Chan, I think I like you. I’m not sure when it happened, or how it did. But I like you. So please don’t tell me I wouldn’t have done it if we weren’t intoxicated.”

The impact of this statement was so immense that it completely shattered his world, leaving him in disarray. It was true that he liked Eva. What kind of feelings he actually held for her was a mystery to him.

So, in the spur of the moment, he kissed her.

Just a few minutes ago, it was bothering him, but once he took the step, he didn’t feel what he was supposed to. He didn’t feel the disgust and hatred towards himself he should have. It felt like sneaking out of his house when he was not supposed to. It made a rush of excitement run through his body. He could feel the adrenaline rush through him.

He felt alive. maybe it was the feeling of doing something forbidden or it was something else, he didn’t know.

But, that night, they did more than kissing.

—

Once you were back, it was all sunshine and rainbows in the first few weeks. You both were happy, spending all your time together and having fun relishing in each other’s presence.

But it didn’t take you long to notice the changes. He would be stuck late at the office but come back home surprisingly lively, or those random texts from his brother late at night asking him to come over, or even the most obvious of them all, the vibrant smell of floral perfume that you never wear.

But you held out. You had promised to give him a chance to explain himself if he came clean to you. But that day never came. You asked him about these odd behaviors, but somehow he would always evade the topic altogether.

All those questions of ‘where were you last night’, ‘when will you come home’, or ‘shall we go on a date sometime soon’, all went unanswered.

He outright ignored your presence at home. But this didn’t stop the wedding preparations. Because his siblings and your parents alike loved him, they had taken the responsibility to take care of the wedding plans.

Before he could continue with his little escapades, Seungkwan caught and confronted him. Not by you but by Seungkwan. The older boy’s disappointment was beyond words. He screamed at him for an hour straight and then he had sat Chan down and calmly said,

“Either you tell her or I will.”

“But I can’t; she will leave me if I ever tell her.”

“Then she will be right in doing so.”

“Chan, I love you to death, but either you stop this and tell your girlfriend the whole truth, or I will take matters into my own hands. She has put up with enough of your shit. Don’t hurt her more,” he had said.

“Give me some time; I will do it as soon as possible,” the younger one had strained out, fisting his hair.

“She better know about it all before the wedding,” Seungkwan had warned him before seeing himself out.

—

Chan had cut off Eva after that. He tried to change everything before actually marrying you. Then, being the kind person you are, you tried to understand your boyfriend. You really did. But this was the first time in ten years you considered leaving him.

This relationship didn’t make you happy anymore. But you had gone through so many troubles together. The effort to hold each other upright was taking a toll on you.

But you were a fighter. You had fought many battles with him by your side. You couldn’t give up on those years either. Your internal dilemma was killing you. But all of this came to a halt one day when you had come back from your night shift, only to find your boyfriend and the girl he oh so diligently claimed to be his good friend, talking in the living room.

It was not like they were trying to be quiet because you could hear every single word spoken by them.

“Chan, it’s yours.”

“Eva, I have a fiancé. I will never leave her. I already told you, I love her.”

“Oh, so you didn’t think about that before fucking me”

“It was a mistake”, Chan shouted.

“No, it wasn’t, we both were very sober”, came another shout

The conversation hit you like a truck, and with each sentence, you felt your heart shattering. The decision suddenly seemed a bit too easy to make.

You walked out of the chaos, leaving the ring behind on the shoe rack. That night, you stayed at your friend’s place.

Following that event, you called Seungkwan, informing him that you won’t talk to Chan anymore. He simply asked if you wanted any help moving out, to which you answered with a simple no.

That was the end of the relationship for you. You refused to talk or see Chan ever again.

—

Now, five years later, Chan is to be married again. Not with you; no, he missed his chance. It's with Eva. They figured the best way to raise Minhan was to be together. In a county like theirs, it wasn’t the best idea to raise a kid with two unmarried parents.

Chan loved Minhan to death. But he could never show the same love for Eva. Looking at her reminded him of the mistakes he made in life. It reminded him of the happiness he could have attained, but he lost due to his own faults.

He is happy Seungkwan is still beside him. He knows he doesn’t deserve a friend like him, so the fact that Seungkwan stayed beside him makes him feel grateful.

He knew that his wife and child would move in with him soon, but he didn’t have the courage to let them into the house yet. The house that held both your memories was a bit too precious to let go of so easily.

The next day came faster than he anticipated. As Chan stood there waiting for his bride, he saw a face that he had been longing to see for the last five years.

He saw your face, sitting there on the benches, a sad smile adorning your face. Your eyes filled with emotions and stories of the years you had spent together.

Oh, how badly Chan wanted to abandon everything and run to you. Apologize a hundred times and ask you to take him back. But he couldn’t; he had children to take care of and shoes to fill.

As he stood there saying his vows, hoping it’s you he saw walking down the aisle and it’s you he kissed, but they are called dreams for a reason. And not all dreams come true.

As he kissed his bride, he saw a glimpse of your teary eyes amongst the crowd, and a tear of his own fell. Wishing for a future he was never destined to have.

the end

[rockermybuddie]

A night out

Eddie Diaz x Fem!reader

A/n: writting this because i cant stop fantasizing about this man so maybe if i write everything down my brain will calm itself.

Summary: The last time you had sex was over two years ago with your ex-boyfriend. Sure you pleasure yourself pretty much every night but its not the same as an actual human.

In desperate need you decide to go out to a bar and see what you can find.

Little did you know who you will end the night with.

Tw: Alcohol, Smut

—————

You walk into your apartment building and hit the button to the elevator. Thank goodness theres no one else because you are ready to get to your apartment, for personal reasons.

Everything at work got on your nerves today no matter what. The ticking of the clock, people having too loud of a keyboard so all you heard was typing all around you, accidentally knocking over a cup of water on your desk.

Everything was just too much.

As soon as you opened your door you threw your bag on the kitchen counter and walked to the bathroom to take a shower.

Accidentally hitting the corner of the table, just perfectly at your hip you let out a curse but also a small whine.

“Ugh, whatever.” You mumble as you pleasure yourself on the tables corner.

After a day like today you need something to distract yourself.

——-

Once you took your shower you put on some comfortable clothes and made dinner.

Its only 7pm so the night is still young and you dont have work tomorrow.

You sat on the couch watching some rom-com that was already playing as you find yourself rolling your eyes and switching the channel when the two characters started having sex.

Really? Jealous of two Tv show characters getting more than you? Pathetic.

Your eyes moved down to the time on the cable box and it read 7:45pm. The bar right down the street opens in fifteen minutes.

“Fuck it.” You say getting up from the spot on the couch.

You put your dirty plate in the sink and walk into the bedroom opening the closet door.

“Hmmmm” you hum as you look at your options.

Need something that wont flash anyone when you dance but need something that shows just enough but too much because you dont want people to know how desperate you are.

“This will work.” You aay to yourself as you change into the sparkly red spaghetti strapped dress.

It covers your whole body, just stopping to the middle of your thighs. Shows off your soft shoulders and the top of your boobs sit just right.

With a quick curl of the end of your hair and some quick makeup you’re out the door at 8:10pm.

——-

When you arrive at the bar theres not too many people there yet, a group in each corner and few stragglers at the bar.

You take a seat at the bar and order yourself a drink as you wait for whoever basically.

Its going on ten now and you’re about ready to just get up and go back home when someone walks up next to you to order a drink.

“Whiskey, neat please.” The deep voice says.

You look over to your right and see a strong arm resting on the bar top. You move your eyes up and see a clean shaven face and soft brown hair just falling a little to the side on top.

The man looks over at you and just that sent a shiver of heat through your body. The deep brown eyes glancing at you.

You look at the navy blue shirt hes wearing and see that it says LAFD.

“Are you a firefighter?” You ask him, stupidly but you need something to make a conversation.

“I am.” He says, you can tell his eyes glance down at your chest but quickly makes their way back up to your face. “Heres your drink sir.” The bartender slid his drink across the counter to him.

Your mind and mouth fight with each other, hes about to leave say something but dont say something stupid.

“Do you want to have sex?” You blurt out. Shit. Maybe you have drank too much too soon.

Your mouth won the fight with your brain.

The man froze, drink halfway to his mouth just staring at? The wall? The floor? You?

“I-i-i-i’m sorry. I think i’ve had too much to drink.” You say extremely embarrassed, you know your cheeks are flushed you can feel it.

The man downs his drink and asks for another. Still not answering your question but maybe its better if he doesn’t answer it.

Actually its probably for the best he doesn’t answer it.

When he gets his new drink he gives you a nod and walks away quickly.

You watch as he joins a group of people, three men and three women. Probably other firefighters and he’s probably telling them what just happened.

You quickly get up an rush to the bathroom, you can feel eyes on you and its making you feel worse than you already do.

——-

As you wash your hands taking a look at yourself in the mirror you cant help but think of how much of mess you are right now.

In life and right now.

You touch up your make up before leaving the bathroom, with still a little bit of hope still left in you you’re not ready to give up the goal of the night just yet.

Even though its probably best if you just go home and pleasure yourself after asking a man, a freaking firefighter, to have sex with you when he hadn’t even had a drink yet.

As you open the bathroom door while putting your lipstick back in your purse you bump into a soft wall.

“Sorry” you apologize without looking at the said wall.

When your alcohol filled brain processes what just happened you realize walls aren’t soft. You turn around and see the man from the bar standing there.

“Oh. Its you.” You say, crap. “Sorry that sounded mean. You probably think i-” you begin to go on about something, you dont even know but was cut off when the man closed the distance between you all and kissed you.

“Whats your name?” You break away to ask. “Eddie.” He replies quickly as he pushes you back against the wall.

His mouth adventuring yours as his hands slide up your side.

“Lets go to my place its just down the street.” You say grabbing his hand before it reaches its destination.

You grab his hand and drag him out of the bar behind you. You hear someone yell “get it Eddie!” Assuming it was one of the other firefighters he was with.

———-

As the two of you awkwardly waited for the elevator you could feel yourself already wet and in need of this man inside you.

“How long does this elevator take?” Eddie asked, hes half tempted to pick you up over his shoulder and carry you up the stairs.

“Usually not this long.” You answer noticing it is taking longer than usual. “What floor do you live on?” He asks.

“Third-ah!” You let out when he all of a sudden lifts you up with ease over his shoulder and opens the door to stairs taking two at a time.

Hes a firefighter he does this all the time.

When he opened the door you heard the ding of the elevator but this, this was hot.

“Apartment 12B3” you tell him. He turns so you can unlock the door.

When the door opens he turns around cautious not to bump you into the wall. He shuts the door with his foot.

“Found it!” Eddies says when he finds your bedroom. He makes it there in three big steps and kicks the door shut as he lays you on the bed.

You shimmy your way up on the bed as Eddie takes off his shirt. Your eyes glued to his broad shoulders, his strong chest, his abs, oh god his abs.

Your weakness when it comes to men.

“You’re so…. Strong.” You say as he places each hand on the bed next to you.

“And you’re beautiful sweetheart.” His voice his deep and gentle. A soft hand travels up your side as his mouth devours yours.

Eddies hand slips underneath your dress as he lifts it up off over you revealing your body to him.

He looks at your breasts as they lay perfectly plump like a pillow, the curves of your hips and the small pump of your belly.

He couldn’t wait to get inside of you.

One hand placed on the bed for balance as his other hand explores your body as his mouth makes its way around your neck and boobs.

His fingers slip into your underwear as he pulls them down and you kick your ankles as the underwear hits the floor.

“You’re so wet.” Eddie says as his fingers explore your folds.

A small whimped escapes your mouth as he inserts one of his fingers into you.

Eddie smiles as he watches your eyes flutter shut and your hips react everytime he moves his finger in you.

“You want another sweetheart?” He asks. Not being able to talk you shake your head yes.

Eddie inserts another finger in you as he takes off his pants. You hear his pants hit the floor as he takes in one of your breasts into his mouth.

“Eddie.” You run your fingers through his hair, its soft and silky.

Eddie looks up at you making direct eye contact with you as he takes his fingers out of you and licks them off one by one.

“You taste amazing sweetheart.” He says. He moves to where he’s hovering over you.

You can see the bulge in his under, you can feel it as he lowers himself as he takes your mouth back into his.

The two of you make out with the tease of him against you. You move your hands from his back to his boxers.

He doesn’t stop you, he wants this just as bad as you do. He helps you take them off the rest of the way as they get tossed to the side.

He looks at you as asking if this okay, with a simple nod and soft smile his head moves down giving you a softer kiss as his hips move down closer to yours.

You feel the tip of him then feel him whole inside of you. A small moan escapes as you claw at his back. Eddie thrusts his hips against you at a nice steady pace.

“Damn it… you feel so good.” Eddies grunts out against your lips. “Faster.” You beg.

Eddie starts moving faster as he puts a hand on too of your head to help keep you in place.

You feel yourself finish as he pulls out and finishes on your belly.

“Good job sweetheart, we finished together.” Eddie says. “Wheres your towels?” He asks.

You point your finger towards your bathroom as watch as he walks over to grab a towel.

Eddie wipes you off and cleans himself off.

He climbs into bed next to you as you melt your way into his arms.

“Aftercare.” You mumble.

Soon you are in the warmth of your bed and Eddies strong firefighter arms.

This is what you needed.

Now will this happen again? You hope so.

————

A/n: i hope you liked the story. I don’t do much character x reader like this so forgive me if its not good lol. Might make more i dont know.

I did a quick glance over for any mistypes so apologies if i mississ any!

[sun-stricken]

Some ideas for you! Take your pick!

Gray frequents the infirmary the most. In one of my ideas lately, after thinking about iced shell, maybe ice make makes the body a bit more…prone to cracking? Maybe he bruises easy and gets a lot of head wounds. It’s why he’s always in bandages longer. I like the idea of Porlyusica getting sick of him.

Team Natsu/the guild/slayers taking care of him, even when he doesn’t realise it. (Against pervs, against himself, maybe people are a bit racist (with him being not from Fiore).

Gray gets sad sometimes and dissociates.

Gray has night terrors so he has sleeping pills, but on missions he also has caffeine tablets to keep him awake so he doesn’t have terrors around them. Safe to say, they aren’t happy when they find this.

Lucy asks Gray about where he’s from, traditions etc, and the guild realises he might be homesick so they secretly try to learn things for him. (Over the years they’ve picked up swear words (Gray doesn’t realise he’s doing it and they’ve never told him))

Gray’s actually quite touch starved. His body temperature is cold so most people stay away/ don’t touch him (but don’t realise they’re doing it). The only one who can stand is Natsu because of his magic. Maybe it gets worse after becoming a slayer.

…also do you take spicy requests?

you cant just give me all these amazing concepts and tell me to pick☹️ i will do a little for all of them if it kills me

Also yes! i absolutely do take nsfw requests! feel free to ask me anything! im surprised it took so long to ask me that tbh

there is a lot here so vv

1.

* Hes the single reason why the guild infirmary is always having to restock

* Due to Grays multiple usages of iced shell some of his body did turn to ice, most sections of his bones, it looks like a normal bones but it acts like ice, which means hes more likely to break a bone

* unfortunately, its not like a normal broken bone for obvious reasons. itll splinter and have hairline cracks all over the bones before it breaks.

* It takes less time to heal than a normal break, he just has to get it wrapped and limit his usage of his magic so it can ‘heal’ (as in, ice it over again) the breaks and cracks. It takes less time to heal and also less pressure to break, win lose situation tbh

* Which is also why head wounds are especially dangerous for him, skull fractures are more common for him than anyone would like, which is to say any at all

* His external body temperature is low and causes him to bruise like a peach, getting a friendly slap on the back can cause him to bruise for weeks, especially from Erza

* bro hasnt gone a day without a bruise in like ten years

* Hes been dragged to Porlyusica so many times now that anytime she sees him (on the field, in her office, even completely out of context and hes not visibly injured) its like second nature to check him out first

* if she could go a month, or even just two weeks! without seeing him she might consider changing her views on humanity (probably not but its the thought that counts)

* Also Gray has small sections of what people think is frostbite on his hands and feet. It doesnt hurt or limit him at all but theyre there, showed up some time post devil slayer magic

* ALSO! His blood runs slower and is darker due to his low body temperature, causes him only the vaguest of problems but its a thing (this is common in most powerful ice wizards)

2.

* Gray likes to pretend hes good at taking care of himself, but hes not hes really not

* Luckily he has a lot of nosy and protective friends thatll do it for him (in their own ways)

* Natsu literally temperature exploding some guys glass at a bar when he got wayyyy too friendly and handsy with Gray

* they were kicked out but he was really proud of himself

* Rogue drawing shadows towards Gray if he needs to sleep and its too bright, or Sting creating a warm light beam when its dark out and Gray wants to embrace his inner cat and sleep in a sunbeam

* Wendy checking him over first bc she knows hes one of the people who wouldnt ask for help if he was injured

* hes had multiple people physically remove him from fights/training sessions because he was visibly pushing himself way too hard

* Part of the reason Gray learned Fioren so fast was because he was sick of people looking at him like he was stupid for not speaking ‘right’

* he mentioned this to the little slayer group they got goin on and from then on out they were like, hella hyper vigilant with anything that could make him insecure like that again

3.

* It really scared him the first couple times he did it, it still does. He hates losing time

* It started happening during his time with Ur, he cant remember a lot of it, training, blink, fighting, blink, training, blink, training, you get the idea

* It doesnt happen often, and he tried not to think of it past the point of trying to get it to stop

* Its happens often when hes highly stressed but theres no immediate physical threat, his brain doesnt understand whats going on or why its so stressed but knows he doesnt need to physically protect himself yet so it mentally protects him (if that makes sense), usually when hes alone, or when a threat is gone

* he confided in Erza about this once, and now more times than not when he ‘wakes up’ shes there talking to him

* only part he feels is good about it is that it makes him exhausted and lets him sleep easier

* He doesn’t usually dissociate often, not that he has much of a choice, if he did it wouldnt happen at all, but it was a lot worse when he was younger, his memories of early fairy tail are all blurry and he felt like he was on autopilot even when he was ‘awake’

* he hates it

4.

* After his team found out abt his vast array of pharmaceuticals they were so confused and concerned and probably borderline paranoid, because who needs that many medications for one person??

* Gray had been taking sleeping pills at a high enough dose to let him have a dreamless sleep for so long that most over the counter brands dont actually work on him

* but he kept all the old bottle that didnt work just in case he got desperate to sleep and they suddenly magically worked again

* The caffeine tablets were self explanatory after seeing all the sleeping meds, but he also (unwillingly) admitted he takes them on missions so he wouldnt wake them if he had a nightmare, and also for days when they were especially bad so he could go long enough without sleep hed just crash and sleep with no issues. Canr have a nightmare if you dont sleep

* His team was also extremely unimpressed by these explanations

* Erza and Natsu (and also Happy) strong armed him into going to Porlyusica for actual helpful solutions since he refused to go to his actual doctor

* While Lucy and Wendy disposed of the full fucking pharmacy (seriously, he coulda started a business or smth) he had in his bedroom

* For some odd reason he felt lighter and less moody when he was on actual helpful medication and was getting genuine rest

* how strange

* and if his team checks his house for another pharmacy in the making thats nobodies business but theirs

* Also Erza tried to ban Gray from caffeine while on a quest , or at least limit it, but he looked at her like she was absolutely batshit crazy to the point she got embarrassed and had to retract the ban

* But she will tie him to the bed to make him sleep on quests if she has to

5.

* The first time Lucy asked where Gray was from was before Galuna, he ended up giving her a shady answer and redirecting the question to her (reminder, before galuna, before phantom lord) which she ended up also being a bit cagey about so she let it go

* But Lucy is nosy (endearing) by nature, so she asked if he had any different holiday type traditions sometime after Galuna, and to the surprise of, well, literally everyone, he did and gave examples

* which lead down a rabbit hole of the guild fretting a bit abt how to make him comfortable (even though hed been with them for a decade) bc he mentioned he used to be really homesick the first couple years, and sometimes still is

* Most the guild still had no clue where he was from so they were really just running in circles for awhile

* Levy tried to figure it out from the time he accidentally dropped, what she assumed to be colorful curse words, random foreign language bits

* didnt really work but she tried

* so for months he was bombarded with ‘subtle’ questions about his hometown and its culture, which got shut down most the time

* Thats not to say he didnt give them anything, he gave them enough that they were incorporated into existing traditions and holidays they already celebrated

* it was a very sweet gesture that Gray absolutely did not tear up at, so shut up—

6.

* Gray is the most touch starved fool on the planet. ive always loved the idea of him liking touch a lot

* He grew up in a pretty affectionate family, his parents were always around to ruffle his hair, or hug, or hold his hand, or carry him, they were just very physically affectionate and he enjoyed it

* With it made him nauseous, guilty really, because Ur and Lyon were also physically affectionate but it wasnt them, it wasnt his family

* Also it was plain uncomfortable at times, part of learning ice magic was to almost numb himself to cold, but in the beginning numbed him to everything and it became uncomfortable to be touched because it was tingly and it hurt

* Early Fairy Tail he was completely closed off, couldnt stand being touched, didnt want to get cozy and make friends because he planned to leave anyways.

* Ice mages (Fire mages also) temperatures can fluctuate depending on how they feel, for example, if they’re experiencing negative emotions their temperature and the space around them will get colder

* and Gray used to be so angry and upset all the time, and hed just beginning to learn magic so he didnt know how to fix it yet, which caused a lot of discomfort for people.

* People didnt stay around him long because the discomfort of being too cold, and what was he gonna do about it? ask them to come back?? hell no

* So he gained a reputation and people didnt want to disrespect a volatile childs apparent boundaries so they didnt question it

* He was fine with fighting being the only real prolonged touch hed get, totally

* But Natsus got this thing about him that makes him think he can do the impossible, which includes shaking Grays world view and comfort levels

* At some point in their teens Natsu would not let go of the alleged fact that Grays didnt like being touched for some reason, so he did what he does best and pressed the issue

* it ended with Gray being a puddle in his lap while he had a crisis about everything he thought he knew about himself while Natsu celebrated his victory against him

* Its not completely public knowledge but the guild most definitely knows at least a little about how much Gray is touch starved

* he doesnt openly welcome it with open arms but if its happening and he trusts the person hes not gonna say no

* he probably gets a euphoria high from a head pat or smth

* After getting his devil slayer magic is absolutely got worse, having two powerful ice magics, one of which he was still struggling to get the hang of, in one body made it difficult to control the temperature around him, and after long enough people would start shivering if he wasnt careful

* it sucked, totally and completely sucked

* Natsu still remained unbothered and would increase his own temperature to counterbalance Grays, which helped a lot

* he still gets all up in Grays space no matter how much Gray tell him to fuck off, he knows he needs it

[modelbus]

Tommy, band au, and bassist!

confession: I play acoustic guitar, so I’m not a bassist… I apologize in advance

Pairing: Cc!Tommy x gn!Reader

Band AU - Bassist

“Every day I wait for you to switch to an electric guitar.” You tell Tommy, watching him mess with the strings on his bass guitar. With ten minutes to stage, he was absolutely convinced that something was wrong with the thing.

“Fuck off.” He huffs back, not even looking at you. “Stupid acoustic guitarist.”

“Damn right I am.” You were the band’s acoustic. And electric, if they really needed it. But you were still trying to get Tommy to take that place.

Finally, he lifts his head to shoot you a fierce glare. There’s your bassist. Whenever the band gets in trouble, it’s always him. And whenever the band needs someone to energize the hell out of everyone, it’s also always him.

He’s a fan favorite for a reason, you suppose.

“Your bass is fine.” You finally sigh. “You keep messing with it and you’ll fuck it up.”

“I will not! Cant you hear something’s wrong with it?”

“All I hear is you freaking out.” You reach over to a cup nearby, grabbing a pick to throw at him. He shouts dramatically, pressing a hand to his cheek.

“Oi!”

“Get your ass up and ready. At this rate, you’ll be going on without an instrument.”

And he didn’t need to be told what a mess that’d be. He dropped his bass in the crowd once on accident — that thing was long gone within seconds.

That was also in a crowd half the size of this one.

Honestly, you didn’t know how you got here. Going from playing in garages with your friends to a stage in front of hundreds wasn’t something you ever planned for. You were meant to get a degree, have a stable employment. Not blow up like some rockstar, flabbergasted by the idea of fanfictions about you.

The first merch of the band was some shitty make-your-own tee that was a joke. Tubbo had (very poorly) bleached Tommy’s face onto it. And now you were up to your ears in merch sales, half-convinced you’d run out of things to print a design on. Even now, Tommy has on a graphic t-shirt of your logo.

“You guys ready?” Someone asks, popping their head into Tommy’s changing room. They have a headset on: some tech guy, probably. “On in two!”

You raise your eyebrows at Tommy, who gives a reluctant look at his bass before nodding. “Ready, big man.”

The guy nods, vanishing again.

When Tommy gives his bass another sad look, you groan and reach out for it. “Fine. Hand it the fuck over.”

“I knew you’d cave!” He exclaims, practically throwing the thing at you.

You run your fingers over the strings, plucking at them then twisting the knobs to tune them a bit more. Technically, Tommy is able to do this on his own. The idiot just tends to be a lazy ass, and you were the only one who could tune by ear.

“Here, does the tension feel right?” You ask him, holding it out for him to pluck at the strings.

“This one is—“ The string snaps, making him yelp and you scream.

Oh fuck. Holy shit.

He can’t play if his stupid bass doesn’t have strings.

“Where do you keep your strings?” You shout at him, diving for his bag and emptying it in a pile.

“I don’t fucking know! The side! The side!” He shouts right back at you, trying to untangle the string so you can replace it. You throw wire cutters at him so he can remove it easier, then find the packet of wire.

“Move it, dumbass.” You shoulder him aside, shoving the string through the bridge entry.

There’s not much time, but you’re still careful to align it perfectly. The last thing you need is this thing snapping on stage. Tommy bends it around the tuning post, cutting the excess wire.

You keep the string aligned, twisting the tuning post to tighten the string as you need. Once it’s good and on, you switch to making sure the thing is actually in tune.

“Did you get it?” Tommy asks, hovering over you. “Is it fixed?”

“You better fucking hope so!” You exclaim, scrambling up. “Shit, how much time do we have?”

The same tech person from before opens the door, looking worried. “Guys, you’re meant to be on now, the rest of the band is—“

You and Tommy don’t stick around to hear the rest. Tommy shoves past the poor tech guy, bass in hand, sprinting for the stage. You’re right behind him, your acoustic getting slung hastily over your back with the strap.

“Sorry guys, two of our members seem to have disappeared.” You can hear Tubbo saying, sounding confused. “Um…”

“We’re here!” Tommy screams, almost tripping over the stage stairs and hurtling into the view of the audience. You take the stairs a bit more gracefully, trailing behind him with an awkward wave to the crowd.

“Oops?”

Their screams of excitement answer you. Tommy turns, craning his neck to grin at you.

“Made it.”

[give-grian-rights]

Wait. Wait Mika. You can’t just say there’s a yhs reboot and act like everyone knows, wtf??? Is that man seriously trying to reboot a series that only did so good bc it was in the lawless days of mcyt?? My brain isn’t even processing. I know he’s delusional that he’s still famous or in the right or whatever but WHAT

Also yeah, who would work with him when you can simply do a single google search and find NO ONE from him previous rps are friends w him anymore. WHAT is going on over there shhdjdhdjdh

(Also sorry abt ranting I am confused and affronted for some reason)

YEAH.... sorry man i thought we all knew this. I'm not sure when the RP started but it's been probably six months? Some of my yhs mutuals watch it and give me like bi-monthly updates on the insanity

it is of my opinion that we are one mental breakdown away from him putting that Skibidi Toilet into the series

watching it i can understand. it's a fucking Sam series that means its a trainwreck you cant pry your eyes off of. but ACTUALLY BEING IN THE SERIES??? i understand i understand that YHS was lawless and cool and shaped a lot of really fucked up ten year olds. but it doesnt even take a *google search* it takes fucking eyes. to see. that literally every person he's ever associated with is Gone ?

like im sorry i just could NOT imagine being friends with or working for a person like that. go make your own high school roleplay series ?

"Every person i've ever known betrays and leaves me and is toxic :(((" looking ass

[aquaquadrant]

literally just zoomed through yalls htp au and i havent seen anyone talk about it but i find it SO interesting how Bravo, who is supposed to be the GOOD overworlder, is rather prideful and honestly just a dick while Tango, supposedly his EVIL counterpart, is just the sweetest guy. i cant imagine how Tango is derived from the worst parts of Bravo, if im understanding hels correctly. Tango is such a good person, while Bravo is rude to everyone with the worst attitude. it was just something i picked up so quickly. if the universe put him in hels in the first place, there must be a reason why the universe swapped his place with his overworld counterpart.

on another note! with the release of secret life, and what we've seen so far, how do you think htp!tango would fare in this new killing game? i cant help but imagine that with the entire gimmick being keeping secrets that he would be rather stressed, knowing he had hidden stuff from his friends already-- lying doesnt make him feel like a good person (but he isnt supposed to be that, some small part of him is whispering, knowing hes from hels, is all of the "bad" parts of bravo)

anyways! this is all i will be able to think of for the rest of the week /vpos and i hope you (and everyone who may be reading this at any given time) have a great rest of spooky month!

well THANK YOU this was a lovely message to receive, and i’m glad you’re enjoying the au ^^

i’ve talked a little bit about this here and there, but i’ll never pass up the chance to ramble more. there are a few key things about bravo and tango that make them different from the average overworld-hels pair.

ANALYSIS/RAMBLE BELOW

first off, most of what we’ve seen of tango has been set during double life, which is ten years after he escaped hels, so he’s had ten years of growth. we see very little of him before this, and in those scenes he’s got the benefit of being largely alone. the only player he interacts with is xisuma, who tango immediately realizes he needs to ‘trick.’ so his interaction with x in part one isn’t how tango would’ve interacted with virtually any other player in hels at that time.

we see from the flashback in part five that younger pre-hels tek tango was borderline feral- he chose to attack atlas on sight instead of trying to hide, or leave before he was seen, or even see why atlas was there. now, atlas wins him over fairly quickly because tango is young and naive and secretly craving positive interaction, but even in that brief interaction tango is a bit more prideful than his older self. that, of course, got beaten out of him at hels tek.

bravo, on the other hand, we follow closely during his ten years in hels. when he first arrives in part two, he’s a little snide and privately judgemental, sure, but he starts out perfectly decent towards timmy. he tries to maintain that civility and ‘niceness’ as he interacts with more and more hels players, but gradually loses his willpower as he gets beaten down and frustrated, even losing his temper. and after he fully snaps and gets his first kills, he all but abandons the notion of being ‘nice’, though privately he still thinks of himself as inherently better than hels players (atlas’s manipulation certainly doesn’t help matters, either).

but perhaps the biggest point is to look at what traits tango actually got from bravo, and that would be his rage. bravo is most similar to tango when he’s angry; his first little temper tantrum in part two is where it’s best illustrated, because all instances after that have been influenced by his time in hels. but you’ll notice that we have yet to see tango truly angry in the HTP series (he did revert back to an almost feral mindset when the ranch got attacked, but that was an instinctive defense mechanism. there was no conscious thought behind those decisions, and they were purely fueled by fear, not anger). that will be where his ‘hels’ really shines through.

there’s one other bravo trait amplified in tango that i haven’t revealed yet. it’s something that tango has figured out how to sort of ‘mask’ via other more acceptable coping mechanisms- if you can call it that- and actually forms a fairly significant part of his personality. stay tuned :3

as for secret life, it’d be a complicated situation for sure. on one hand, their goals are less outright malicious- just complete the tasks and try to survive (at least for now). in a way, it almost takes away accountability for their actions if they turn out to be harmful- “i had to, it was my secret task!” so that’s nice to fall back on. but still, tango would be very on edge. not only with the discomfort of having to lie to his friends, but never knowing if they’re lying to him, too. boi’s got them trust issues fr.