#TELL ME THIS IS NOT THE QUEER JOURNEY
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Ok, FITF and FITFWT is Louis being proud of who he is. No excuses. 😭 "spent my whole life just thinking I had to change", no more. BE LOUD BE PROUD BE YOURSELF 😭🏳️🌈 "thank you for accepting me for who I am".
#in my feels#love you louis so much#fitfwt kansas city#so proud of louis#louis' pride#TELL ME THIS IS NOT THE QUEER JOURNEY
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Phoenix Reignited 1.09: Aftermath
Happy Saturday everybody! Quiet day here, recovering from some nasty insomnia that wrecked me most of this week. This week, I did manage to put down a few thousand words on book XIII and extended my backlog on Reignited, and did some more polish-up work on ThePhoenixSaga.com. Wrote a new song for Ranko this morning, too!
Yui smiled tentatively. “It’s a damned good thing you fight better than you eat ghosts, kiddo.”
Defensively, Ranma snapped back, recoiling until her backside bumped the joystick of the yellow-and-black arcade cabinet. “Look, I don’t know what she told you, but it’s no big deal. Some guys got a little sassy. I hit ‘em with a stick, and they took off. End of story.”
Hana slipped between the bar counters, emerging from behind Yui and rushing toward Ranma. With all of the adrenaline still coursing through her system, Ranma fought her every instinct to drop into a defensive stance as the leather-clad woman charged toward her with urgency in her eyes. Welp, the jig is up now. They know I’m a fake. Better just go upstairs and get my shit. Fuck. It was fun while it lasted.
Hana reached Ranma’s position, wrapping her arms around the slender redhead’s shoulders tightly. “Are you alright, Ranko? You’re not hurt, are you? C’mere, honey. Let me see you.” She remembered the teen’s black eye from a few days before, concerned she might have sustained further injury.
Wait, Ranma thought, shocked by the turn of events. She’s not… huh? What the hell is even happening right now?
Read more wherever you get your fiction fix! Links below!
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#fanfiction#fanfic#ranma#ranma 1/2#girl ranma#ranma fanfiction#phoenix reignited#ranma 2024#ranma chan#asian lgbtq dramas#lgbtqiia+#lgbtqia#lgbtq#lgbtq community#lgbt pride#queer#queer community#queer pride#found family#healing#self healing#healing journey#thank you for letting me tell you a story
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no offence to people who genuinely enjoyed james somerton and feel cheated but you could kind of tell he didnt give a shit about anything he ever said. there was no passion or personable anecdotes in anything he ever made, and the fact he was constantly posting videos was crazy. like if you watch your more popular video essayists theyre always coming from a point of 1) education in a field 2) passion in a subject and 3) being open about themselves
like , this man hopped on the video essay train because of the popularity of his peers and just tokened himself into "the gay video essayist" as if so many other people werent already doing that? and the lack of care for intersectionality was obvious. i stopped ever watching him after he took it personally that some marvel show was about black exploitation in america and not about two men kissing each other, cuz it became abundantly clear that was the only experience he gave a shit about (his own)
#idk im GENUINELY not trying to be rude im just saying be sus of people who dont put themselves in their work#like i remember lindsay ellis and dan olsen talking about their film school experience and then you look at their work and its like oh yeah#i see how this is their work because they know what theyre talking about and they enjoy it#and you can look at like quinton reviews or jenny nicholson deep diving into media for hours and its like theyre taking you on a journey#and you feel like youre watching them go crazy but steering the ship in a way only they can#or theres people like princess weekes who bring up their own experiences watching queer media and where they were at the time#she once was like “yeah i made i kissed a girl amv disney crossovers” LEADING ME TO REALIZE ID SEEN SAID VIDEOS 15 YRS AGO............#cuz i was subbed to her and she introduced me to all the things she said and we have a mutual queer experience from that kinda source lmao#anyway you can tell these people put themselves in their work!#and when it came to james that was just never there because nothing he ever said WAS his own experience#it was always money to him not passion or experience or community#idk this might be a nothing post but ive been thinking about it since watching the hbomb video
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update: IT WENT GREAT & AND SHE UNDERSTANDS ACE/DEMI IDENTITIES & IT WAS NO PRESSURE & EASY AS HELL TO TALK TO EACH OTHER YOOOO
#like it literally felt like we’d been friends forever omg#so fucking coool!!!! i knew we were gonna get along just from our texts alone#so far definitely the coolest person i’ve met in my making new queer friends journey#i can tell we’re gonna be hanging out a l o t#and broooo we have so much life shit/experiences in common it’s insane#we’re both the same type of weird which is so fucking funny#bc she’s like athletic jock girl and i’m weird artsy goth chick#lmFAOOOO#wtf this is amazing?????#A++++++++ connection#and we both made it clear we’re just looking for friends atm which is nice#bc almost every other person has legit tried to force advances on me after telling them i’m ace and it’s been hell#finally someone cool and respectful!!! 😭#ahhhhh i’m so excited!!!!#apple babble 🍎#non fandom
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Someone went through my tag for The 100 and awoke me like a sleeper agent activating so I could say that we were ROBBED of Princess Mechanic. Choosing to make it so Clarke and Raven could never have a truly positive dynamic was a MISTAKE and could have augmented both their story arcs greatly
#also maybe it's my queer talking but you cannot tell me Raven's endless frustrations with Clarke couldn't also read as sapphic frustration#Raven keeps finding and losing these mediocre men but somehow there is always Clarke#come ON#we could have had it all#princess mechanic#the 100#clarke griffin#raven reyes#///until our final journey on the ground
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#hii queer ppl in my phone#what can you tell me about the journey from being bi to aro/ ace#like is that a thing or maybe im turning into an introvert#like ???#I think I MAYYYYYY be somewhere on the aro ace spectrum#as of RIGHT NOW#im hella confused#idk I thought I was bi till now#maybe I just dont like anyone in my circle like that right now#or maybe I am becoming an introvert :(#I dont know which one is worse#I think its the introvert one#being aro ace sounds cool actually#but what about me being bi 😭😭
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Was talking today with a friend about how monumental it was for me as a trans person and a lesbian who was uncomfortably presenting feminine, to meet my butch best friend in college, and how just being friends with them, and hearing about their experience as a butch really allowed me the space to feel comfortable exploring my own gender expression and identity, and how I feel like I’m a more complete person for having known them because they made me feel so incredibly safe in the journey and I now feel so much more comfortable presenting the way I want to and not the way I expect people to want me to, and the friend I was talking to said that I was that for them. So dress as faggy as you fucking want to and be as loud as you want to about it. It’s your god-given right to be DRIPPING with dykery and transgenderism because you never know if you’re going to be that lightbulb moment or safe queer space for someone!
#it made me more emotional and happy than I could possibly describe#The opposite of generational trauma lol#anyway shout out to my butch best friend#for giving me my first buzz cut#and helping me find a website to order a binder from#etc#and for being so fucking supportive when I started to explore masculinity#So Teddy if you see this#Thank you for everything and I really owe this journey to myself and to you#because I know what I was like and I never would’ve made that journey when I did if it wasn’t for you and your support#I was really letting fear control my life and you were the first person who told me it didn’t have to be that way#And it changed my life in the most incredible way#I get to experience queerness and transness in such a joyful and euphoric way every single day now#so thank youuuuuuu#I love you so much and I feel so lucky to be your friend#I don’t know if you’ll ever see this#but I like the thought but it’s out there on my Tumblr and you might one day read this#and tell Soph to accept my follow request on TikTok#transgender#butch#lesbian
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29th May 2022
Dear Rowan,
You don’t know that name yet, but you will. Oh, you will. Right now all it means is the echos of a childhood classmate. In a year’s time it will feel like a warm blanket, like slipping into soft sheets after a long day.
I know you’re scared. I know you feel lost and confused and terrified beyond belief. This thing that you’ve been told your whole life is wrong now applies to you. Has maybe always applied to you. Right now your brain is a swirling mess of words and labels and pronouns and just sheer, plain confusion.
That’s okay.
You’re going to learn that over and over this year. It’s okay to not know. It’s okay to be confused, to try on labels and pronouns and names like you try on clothes at the store. It’s okay to not have it all figured out.
In a month or two you’ll be worried that you don’t have it all sorted yet, and then someone you know and trust will metaphorically look you in the eyes over the internet and say “oh you’re really new” and it will become one of the most validating things you’ve ever heard.
But Rowan, amongst all the confusion and dysphoria - something you will come to know intimately - and the awful comments from people you once trusted. Amongst all of that (please don’t be too scared yet), Rowan you are going to have one of the best years of your life.
Rowan, the people you will meet. Don’t be afraid, join that discord, send that message, follow that person on tumblr. You are going to meet the most incredible people, and find yourself part of the most wonderful community - more than you could ever have imagined. These people will open their hearts to you and make you feel so loved, so validated, so you. They will take your pronouns and your name and use them to make you feel the best you’ve ever felt in your life.
Rowan, what a ride you are getting on. It’s not all ups - some really terrible downs are coming and I wish, I wish I could protect you from them. But for every down there are so many more ups. Hold onto them all, tuck them away in that new place in your heart that is just opening up.
Every time you come out to someone and they immediately switch their language. When your coworkers buy pronoun pins or put their pronouns in their email signatures to show you you aren’t alone. Every “Ro”, “them”, “bro”. Store them up, take them out on the bad days to remind you that it gets better.
It will get better. I promise. Every time you get misgendered or someone makes a crass joke or your brain turns on you. It WILL get better.
Part of me wishes I could take away the hard stuff. Tell you right now all the answers, save you the angst and confusion. But I won’t. Because through it all, you will come out so much stronger. You will know yourself so much better, and for the first time in your life you will truly, honestly, love yourself. All your parts, all your flaws, all your strengths and weaknesses.
But I’ll tell you one little secret:
You are here, you are queer, and that is the best thing ever.
Ro 🦔
#one year ago today I sat at my desk and cried realising I’m nonbinary#I was so scared and confused and I wish I could go back and tell that me that it will all be ok#what a fucking year#thank you to everyone who has been on this journey with me#you have made more of a difference than you will ever know#trans#nonbinary#genderfluid#queer
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ok guys its not funny anymore when is d&p hard lauching im starting to getting anxious /hj
#this is mostly in jest bc idk if they will and im okay with that they do what they feel comfortable and their life is none of my business#but if they plan to. can they do it faster. had a moment rewatching BIG where it got to me... wow... theyve had something REALLY special#for 15 years huh. dan is finally living his truth and a life happier than before but during this journey he had phil at a such important#point of his life. they endured so much. and probably fucked up in between bc we humans arent perfect and thats ok we make mistakes even if#they might hurt the person we love but hey. they persevered and now are thriving even more than before#and i got so emotional like... dudes... i want to tell you both thru the means where is possible for me that im so proud and so happy#for you both and you work and your journey and for experiencing pure queer joy that all queer people deserve#BUT LIKE AS MUCH AS ALL OF IT IS OBVIOUS AND SERIOUSLY DONT EVEN NEED A VERBAL CONFIRMATION ITS CLEARLY AS ITS PRESENTED#IDK I FEEL LIKE THEY HARDLAUNCHING WOULD GIVE LIKE. A SENSE OF PERMISSION FOR ME.#LIKE HEY WERE CHOOSING OURSELVES TO TELL YOU THIS INFORMATION ABOUT OUR PRIVATE LIFE#AND NOW YOURE FREE TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE WE WANT TO HAVE A UPPERHAND ON THIS ON OUR PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIP#SO ITS A BOUNDARY FOR US AND FOR YOU#AND ILL BE LIKE THANK YOU FOR THE PERMISSION. SO HAPPY FOR YOU MARRIAGE OF 15 YEARS#idk guys im weird i genuinely just like to treat celebrities like theyre just another human being i find while i go on about my day#it even took me a while to read phan rpf fics not bc i thought it was like OOOO PROBLEMATIQUE but bc i felt genuinely guilty even tho i#joined the phan bandwagon back in the day#i only let myself joke nowadays bc theyre more open and comfortable with it and such so like... i allowed myself for that and the jokes#but still. o|-< i get embarassed sometimes just bc theyve not publicaly disclosed what ARE they NOW (outside of all the soulmate metaphors)#its not a them problem tho its a me problem im too empathic for no reason#ANYWAYS SORRY FOR YAPPING ON THE TAGS CAN YOU TELL I MANAGED TO BUY MY ADHD MEDS AGAIN#j.txt
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#cw suicide mention#cw transphobia#writing in tags cause i dont like permanent words that are embarrassing so#anyway ive been writing a coming out later to come out as trans and im still unsure if im actually gonna do anything with it but#letter* not later#i went into detail abt my journey of getting out of internalised transphobia and how it took a lot out of me mentally#like not to get too personal but i talk abt suicide attempts and everything and i ended up talking abt how it was hasan that truly got me#out of it completely and how he essentially saved my life and i just ☹️ i joke but he genuinely means a lot to me for how he's helped me#im from england basically land of transphobes so u can imagine how finding hasan was important for me as a queer person who was incredibly#repressed and suicidal#yeah i just wanted to speak abt it cause its a big moment for me#ive never written abt or talked abt my journey of understanding my transness in detail like that so im feeling a lot of things#tell a trans person u love them NOW!#olli.txt
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as a nonbinary trans person who lives largely in a blue state that's technically red outside any major city, i would really appreciate the ability to come out to people i choose, rather than having my "well meaning" friends outing me to strangers behind my back bc they think they're being progressive or whatever
#i'm not out to my drs#i'm not out to my therapists#and i'm not out to any institutions or my landlords for very specific reasons#so yeah a big way to breach my trust is to out me behind my back and tell me afterwards 'oh so i told so-and-so your pronouns' and#ofc i get mad bc idk this person and wasnt given the opportunity to consent to you OUTING MY FKN IDENTITY BEHIND MY BACK#i deleted my fb over some fake ass creeps claiming to be cool and being transphobic as hell the second a queer or ally was out of the room#it is not your place to decide who someone ELSE is out to#esp if you KNOW they are only out to specific people#but sure i'm a bad friend for taking a meandering journey to find myself and not please others expectations of me i'm suuuuper evil for tha#aisling to ashe to ais to ash to aisling#dni if you think this is about you#dni if you think you have something clever to say#this is a vent post
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I think about this a lot...
I just want you all to know, even if you don't see any people in your area with pronoun pins or bright, queer clothing, or with clockable traits, there's a very good chance you're surrounded by queer people who are blending in with the cishets. You're not alone.
Ever since I've started passing, I've had this repeated thought... I'll be in a public place and I'll see someone who's almost definitely queer, and it makes my day, but then I wonder, do they see me? Do they know I'm here? Do they understand that I'm one of them?
To be passing is what a lot of trans people see as the end goal, but, if you're not trying to be stealth but simply not going out of your way to display that you're queer, it can come with a profound sense of sudden exclusion - like you're too passing to count anymore, or like you'll be unrecognizable to your queer siblings
So, for everyone's benefit, I just want to say, remember that there are those of us who don't stand out. Don't assume every person that you don't clock as trans is cis. Don't assume every person that you don't clock as gay is straight. We speak out against cisheteronormativity, but to protect ourselves and remain in the safe bubble of those we expect to be safe for ourselves, we are often times perpetuating it
#i feel like this comes across as a humble brag but i really genuinely don't mean for it to be#this thought has genuinely come to me multiple times and given me a profound sense of queer loneliness#and as someone now seen as a man there's also this abrupt social shift where#i can't just tell a woman her perfume smells nice anymore without it being creepy#i can't compliment a woman's clothes anymore without it coming across as hitting on her#I've been disconnected from not just the publicly obvious queer community but also the community i grew up comfortable relating to#I'm not seen as one of the girls anymore which is good in most regards#but devastating in others#because as a gay guy i feel like there's community there that's hard to access now#i could try to be more flamboyant and obvious but i don't want to force anything that doesn't come naturally to me#and I'm too scared to re-enter that spotlight of queerness by wearing a pin or something#maybe this whole thing is stupid and whiny when I'm just being a coward#maybe i should wear a pin and rejoin the ranks of publicly noticeable queers#i feel like this whole post is just me ignoring a privilege that a lot of people would kill for#but i guess I'll post it anyway#you can join me on my thought journey#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#lgbtqia#gay#trans#ftm
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i’ve been replaying The Longest Journey and having friends watch me play it is funny for two reasons.
one is that they don’t pay attention/watch every time i play so they are frequently very confused when i am no longer in cyberpunk dystopia land and am instead running around with a talking bird looking for dragons
the second is how psyched they are about April’s ass
#like goddam they didn't need to give her that much!#half the polygons in this game are in her backside#also i forgot about the casual queer rep in this game and it made me happy again#i straight up did not remember that your landlady is an extremely english lesbian#and i forgot about the cop you try to flirt with who outright tells you 'sorry ma'am im gay'#iconic honestly#the longest journey#this is my third time playing this and i STILL need a walkthrough for parts of it#i am not a clever man
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I love just randomly getting a realization as to why someone/thing has been annoying you
#one of my floormates has a habit of generalizing groups of people#and I’ve know this for awhile and found it super annoying#he’s also really annoying regarding me being aroace usually but mainly bc he tries to be to supportive/makes jokes that just don’t hit#hit properly bc he’s not ace himself#and I just realized more regarding that#so it’s like he can’t generalize like he doesn’t even tho he thinks he knows a lot of stuff about being queer/he isn’t ignorant about queer#but he can’t generalize based on queer ppl he sees online#and he can’t generalize based on the queer ppl he knows#bc no queer people are the same!#that’s the gist of it but also additionally#the things that seem to be a generalization isn’t natural#it’s common jokes and styles we’ve made up to create a community#and since he’s not aroace when he tries to play along with those jokes they just seem stereotypical even if they’re actual jokes we use#it just feels… kinda dehumanizing? bc it seems like he’s just boiled us down to those jokes#and like they’re not for you dude? stop trying to make liking garlic bread a part of my personality bc I’m ace??#ughh hes so many layers of annoying#added to all this is the fact that he’s kinda questioning being bi or pan#but I really don’t think he is….#and I’m not gonna tell him that bc that’s his journey to make#but that does mean that he thinks we have smt in common that I really don’t think we have#me#the amount of rants I’ve made about this dude it’s incredible#also we claimed those things as a joke to have something for us self when society alienated us#those jokes aren’t for you to make as and alloperson bc it takes away the whole point so stfu
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They probably refused to say it was a romance or bl because it isn’t. it won’t have a happy ending and that’s what an actual romance requires and how Gmmtv views the criteria of a bl. with this new plot twist clearly they won’t end up being with each other but more like help each other grow and find peace and move on from their guilt unfortunately that a romance does not make. It’s very Parbdee to take something tragic and make it semi romantic but have it not a true romance because they are separated by death and the afterlife sigh it’s their ammo only time we got lucky was Be my favorite because it had to fulfill the bl criteria lmao. Parbdee strikes again and I’m not surprised…
Ugh! Peaceful Property! You wanted a cross-class romance!? How about we actually dive into the full-on physical and spiritual oppression that produces those classes?? How about we actually depict capitalist systems as literally horrific?? But let's not stop there!! How about we show the wealthy protagonist as directly complicit in those horrors?? Not enough?? How about we make him literally kill the poorer romantic lead?? How about we actually explore what it would mean for someone whose wealth is built on nepotism and a history of exploited labor to recognize what that means about their relationships to other people in the world?? What kinds of compassion do the wealthy need to ask for and what practices and mindsets do they need to change before those they've hurt can even begin to live life unafraid of financial ruin, let alone actually caring for the wealthy love-interest?? What ghosts haunt a cross-class romance and how can we truly exorcise them????
#the only way it seems for them to give a good writing for bl is only when it’s depressing it seems#or ending with death I just have to laugh#because to me like it can be tweaked every time it can be made into something substantial and deeper and have a happy ending after#they tell the story they want but with Parbdee#especially the bigger Parbdee lot the good writers it’s like queerness is so intertwined with seperation and death#or just intense friendship and tbh I know it’s great writing#it always is with them however it never sits well with me#that that’s all they have the mind for each time they want to#show a bond between two men that’s love but also not#it works cause we desperately need good stories about relationships with men that aren’t bl ified in Thai terms#but it always never sits well with me each time#I wonder why they just can’t make it end fully with that romance after giving a deep complex plot somehow#shipper they gave a way out but never intended to return to focus on the romance of it all#it’s just all so Parbdee#can’t even be shocked they are the team I beg the most for bl#but you only get great writing from these writers effort and what not when they#know they don’t need to add bl to it#and that’s sad cause a bl should have this effort of story telling this pain this healing journey this slow burn and growth#this mystery this fantasy this depth this complexity#even the whole plot is a BL romance and it can end happily it can weave a plot hole it can give the romance at the end#but it won’t happen#and that’s why I’ll be stuck where I am constantly craving something but never really getting it with Parbdee big writers#at least people get to enjoy good writing in gmmtv and get a good story#I just don’t do well with tragedies or seperation so it’ll never be for me#if this was a Kdrama they would make it both romance and semi open at the end cause they know how to do both for het stories#but for bl it’s like it must be one way or another
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I’m actually serious about this, if at all possible, right now is a very good time to request queer books from your local library. Whether they get them or not is not in your control, but it is so important to show that there is a desire for queer books. I will also say getting more queer books in libraries and supporting queer authors are pretty fantastic byproducts of any action.
This isn’t something everyone can do, but please do see if you are one of the people who has the privilege to engage in this form of activism, and if you are, leverage that privilege for all you’re worth.
For anyone who can’t think of a queer book to request, here is a little list of some queer books that I think are underrated and might not be in circulation even at larger libraries:
Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown
Silver Under Nightfall by Rin Chupeco
Harvard's Secret Court: The Savage 1920 Purge of Campus Homosexuals by William Wright
The Perks of Loving a Wallflower by Erica Ridley
God Themselves by Jae Nichelle
IRL by Tommy Pico
The Pink Line: Journeys Across the World's Queer Frontiers by Mark Gevisser
Passing Strange by Ellen Klages
The New Queer Conscience by Adam Eli
Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl's Confabulous Memoir by Kai Cheng Thom
Queering the Tarot by Cassandra Snow
Wash Day Diaries by Jamila Rowser
Queer Magic: Lgbt+ Spirituality and Culture from Around the World by Tomás Prower
Before We Were Trans: A New History of Gender by Kit Heyam
Beyond the Pale by Elana Dykewomon
Hi Honey, I'm Homo! by Matt Baume
The Deep by Rivers Solomon
Homie: Poems by Danez Smith
The Secret Life of Church Ladies by Deesha Philyaw
The Companion by E.E. Ottoman
Kapaemahu by Dean Hamer, Joe Wilson, Hinaleimoana Wong-Kalu
Sacrament of Bodies by Romeo Oriogun
Witching Moon by Poppy Woods
Tell Me I'm Worthless by Alison Rumfitt
Dead Collections by Isaac Fellman
Disintegrate/Dissociate by Arielle Twist
Dear Senthuran: A Black Spirit Memoir by Akwaeke Emezi
Peaches and Honey by Imogen Markwell-Tweed
Nepantla: An Anthology Dedicated to Queer Poets of Color by Christopher Soto
#queer books#queer history#lgbt history#honestly#libraries are a massive resource in terms of preserving and uplifting marginalized narratives#and as a community#that has been so very excluded from both fictional and nonfictional narratives#this is a great way to reclaim and care for the stories that have been surpressed for so long
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