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13uswntimagines · 2 days ago

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All In My Head (Alessia Russo X Singer!r)

Part III of the Safe Harbor Universe. Find other parts here

Summary: Being Sick on tour sucks, but that doesn't mean that you want your team to inform your girlfriend. She has her own career to think about. The problem is that honesty is rule number 1 in your relationship.

Warnings: there is mention of a D/s dynamic, but nothing is super explicit. Alessia is referred to as daddy.

Authors note: Yes the ending is a cliffhanger. But this has honestly been in my drafts since like August, so i wanted to put it out. I'm considering a Pt. 2, but it will depend on if people want it. I really hope you enjoy it, and let me know what you think.

You sighed heavily, leaning against the stadium's cool stone wall and twisting the bracelet around your wrist.

Which stadium, you couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter, really. They all looked the same after a while anyway, blurring together in the never-ending cycle of rehearsals, performances, interviews, and meet and greets.

All your life seemed to be was performing and promoting music you weren’t even excited about anymore. It was a nonstop grind filled with late nights and early mornings, with almost no time for your well-being.

You almost wished your girlfriend had implemented a rule that placed a limit on how much you could do. At least that would give you the power to say no.

You did your best.

You squeezed in as many phone calls with your girlfriend, Alessia as you could, but she had her own commitments with the Lionesses as they prepared to defend their European championship.

Most of the time you ended up passing out over FaceTime, and waking up to texts telling you she loved you.

You understood. You both had careers and obligations. You both had to make sacrifices to get to do the things you loved.

It was… intense, but for the most part, you enjoyed it. You loved playing for the fans. You would deal with all the promotional bs just so you could interact with the people who loved your music as much as possible.

They deserved that.

And this tour had been going far better than the ones you had been on before it. You were holding it all together far better than you had in the past.

Or it had been.

It all started with a slight tickle in your throat in the city before last. A whisper of huskiness that went away with a nice steam session and some tea.

It was easy to ignore in the beginning.

Then you played 4 shows back to back last weekend.

By the end of the 3rd show, you knew you were screwed, you could barely muster a horse whisper. Alessia had commented that you sounded like a chain smoker, your first sign that she was seeing through you, but you assured her you would be fine. You even joked that you had enough throat coat and grether's pastilles to turn her off for a year. She let you soothe her worries.

You pushed on, powered my menthol lozenges and Honey, and you made it through the 4th show.

It would have been fine. It shouldn’t have mattered that your ability to make any sound at all was hanging on by a thread. The 5 days off you had should have been enough to set everything right.

Except you didn’t have 5 days off.

It was filled with promotional performances for a new album and interviews about how well it would accompany the movie it was attached to. If someone else asked you about how it felt about the possibility of an Oscar nod, you were going to scream. Or rip all of your hair out or both.

The tickle had turned to hot nails, and nothing - not the steam machine or tea and honey - had the power to soothe it.

You sounded like you were talking through gravel, and your team had been hesitant to even let you go on tonight.

Alessia definitely would not have, if she knew how bad it really was. You started avoiding her two days ago after you couldn’t make it through a sentence without a crack, and you couldn’t continue to blame the low whistle that accompanied every one of your breaths on allergies.

You knew going in that performing tonight wasn’t a great idea, but you refused to let the fans down. There were only 4 shows left. Surely you could make it.

The entire show felt like a battle.

You had to fight for every note. For every breath.

Your lungs felt like they were on fire and your throat was raw before you even got to the piano set.

It took everything in you to hide the thinness in your voice. To prevent every sound from cracking as you forced each lyric out.

It was…rough to say the least.

But you made it- even if it was only by the skin of your teeth.

You were shot by the time you did your final bow and disappeared backstage. You ignored the cold Gatorade being pressed into your palms, knowing it would only aggravate the glass shards in your throat, and shrugged off Steven and Clint.

You didn’t need their concern, you needed to escape the roaring in your ears. The pounding in your chest.

So you took turn after turn until you were in an abandoned section of hallways.

You sighed, grasping at your throat as you slid down the cool wall, pulling your knees to your chest and pressing your forehead into the rough material of your costume to drown out the pounding in your head. Your fingers tangled in the hair at the back of your head and you groaned.

The sound felt like hot coals in your throat, and it made your chest ache.

You feared that no amount of steam, or tea, or pastilles would stop it this time.

The cold bricks of the stadium felt nice against your skin, leaching the heat from your body, though it did nothing to help the fire in your chest.

A fire that was quickly moving past the gray areas in your agreement with Alessia, and into a place that your daddy would definitely have something to say about.

You were treating your limits with her like a tightrope, carefully toeing the edge. Except with the way you felt, you knew you were about to topple one way or the other.

You ignored the sounds of clicking shoes coming closer, hoping that whoever it was wouldn’t see you. That they would leave you be to pull the cracked pieces of yourself back together.

But your team knew better than to leave you to your own devices.

“Y/n?”

You tensed at the soft hand on your shoulders, and the sound of shifting clothing as someone settled on the ground beside you.

“You ok, kid?” Natasha asked softly, running soothing circles on the top of your shoulders.

You let out another breath before you pulled your face from its hiding spot, resting your chin on your knees. “I’m ok. Just wanted some quiet,”

You frowned at the horse whisper that left your lips, and the flair of pain that accompanied it.

Natasha hummed.

She had been part of your team from the beginning, back when you were a dumb 16-year-old, long before Pepper, Tony, Steve and the rest of the crew had joined, and she knew you nearly as well as Alessia did.

She raised an eyebrow at you. “Just some quiet?”

You knew that wasn’t what she was actually asking.

The question went much deeper.

She knew about your… dynamic with Alessia, and she had seen the striker take care of you in various ways. She was asking you what you needed.

You nodded, looking away from her, afraid that she would see through you.

“I needed a minute,” You said, your voice barely a squeak. “It was all too much, and I wanted to be alone before I got pulled into something else,”

She made a low sound at the familiar explanation. “And this has nothing to do with how you sound like you’re gargling rocks?”

You grimaced. “Nothing at all,”

She hummed. “So you’re not in any pain at all?”

“Nope,” You breathed out, the p the only clear part of the word.

“Y/n,” She sighed. “I know you have an… aversion to admitting when you’re not… at the top of your game, but pushing yourself isn’t going to help anything. You don’t have anything to prove here,”

You ran a hand through your hair and rolled your eyes dramatically at her. She chuckled at the action.

“There are only 3 more shows,” You said. “I can make it 3 more shows,”

“And how would Alessia feel if she knew you were going to put your comfort aside for 3 more shows?” Natasha asked softly. “And not just your comfort, your health. You sound like shit,”

You huffed at the mention of your girlfriend, your fingers instinctively finding the braided bracelet that never left your wrist.

You knew how she would feel. You could practically hear what she would say. I expect you to take care of the things that belong to me. I expect you to treat them with respect and give them the love and care they deserve.

“I’ve got it all under control,” You rasped, wincing at the action.

It was Natasha’s turn to roll her eyes. “Sure you do. Since you have it all under control, you’ll stop ignoring your girlfriend,” She pulled the device out of her back pocket and balanced it on top of your knees. “She’s been blowing up your phone all day. I think she’s worried,”

You stared at the phone, and as if on cue, it buzzed again with a new message.

Alessia was going to be furious with you, and your daddy would be on another level entirely.

She was usually the one to take the reigns when you were set on driving yourself into oblivion for the benefit of everyone else. But she wasn’t here.

You sighed heavily.

You knew that if you told her, she would drop everything. She would move heaven and earth if that was what you needed.

You didn’t want that.

She needed to focus on her game, and that meant that you couldn’t be a distraction. You would not disappoint her. Not when you were so close to finishing.

“She needs to focus,” You mumbled, your voice straining. “She’s gotta impress Sarina to make the team. It’s important,”

“I think you forget that you are also important,” Natasha argued back softly, patting your back before carefully pushing herself to her feet. “I’m going to have Pepper cancel the meet and greet. You’re in no shape to meet fans. I should also have her call a doctor, but I already know you’ll fight me on it,”

You frowned. You never sold meet and greet tickets, choosing to instead have your team select fans at each show.

“But-“

She held up her hand before you could argue. “That isn’t up for debate. Get rest tonight, and we’ll assess tomorrow in the morning.”

Your jaw clenched, but you nodded, knowing there was no arguing with her.

“I know the world thinks you’re superhuman, but it’s ok not to be indestructible,” She said, softly. “You need to remember to be Clarke Kent sometimes too. There’s a reason Lois fell in love with him first,”

With that, she walked away, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

The silence of the empty hallway wasn’t as welcoming as it had been. It didn’t quiet your thoughts like it had.

Instead, it felt suffocating. Like the walls were closing in on you, trapping you in your misery.

You sighed another painful breath, before you grabbed your phone, reading the top notification, longing not to feel so…alone.

Hey babe, caught the end of your show on a random livestream. Are we still on for our FaceTime tonight?

You let your head fall back, thumping the wall.

Everything in you longed to say yes.

But you couldn’t. You wouldn’t.

It was still nice to fantasize about seeing her. About hearing her say ‘Hello my little one,’ with a soft smile that brought out her dimples. If you closed your eyes you could almost feel the pressure of her fingers on the back of your neck, running through the baby hairs that lived there. ‘I’m here, and I’ve got you,’

You let your mind linger there for a long second before you forced your eyes back open.

It took you three tries to type out your reply: sorry darling, I’m super tired. Rain check?

And you paused, your trembling finger over the send button, knowing you shouldn’t send it, but hitting the little blue arrow anyway.

It was awful but necessary.

You let out another long, ragged breath before you forced yourself to your feet and shoved your phone into your pocket, so you didn’t have to see her reply. You leaned heavily on the wall, no longer enjoying how it sucked the warmth from your skin, but using it to stay upright as the entire hallway tilted to the side.

You should go back to your dressing room before Steve sent out a search party. Dealing with Nat was one thing, dealing with the overprotective instincts of Steve, Clint, and Thor was another.

You didn’t have the mental capacity for that, and maybe your dressing room couldn’t make you feel like there was a rope on your lungs, dragging out your soul.

*****

You were not particular about a lot of things when you were on tour. You didn’t care about the size of your hotel room or the cars you were shuttled around in. You didn’t request overly expensive foods or special bubbly waters.

The only thing on your rider that you were very specific about was your dressing room.

It was your sanctuary away from the noise. A place you would spend more time in than your hotel room.

It was important to you that it was always the same. Lit with twinkling fairy lights, the comfy gray couch that followed you on every tour stop standing near the table with your kettle and vocal steamer, and a diffuser already filling the room with the soft scent of lavender and honey.

It filled your lungs the second you stepped through the door, wiping away the burning ache that accompanied every breath for just a second. Reminding you for one fleeting moment of the honeysuckle of Alessia’s favorite shampoo (the reason she picked the essential oil blend to begin with), before the knives returned to your chest.

You rubbed your knuckles over your sternum to quell the feeling, stumbling over to the couch and collapsing into it.

You pressed your nose into the soft gray material, wishing that you had grabbed the bright red sweatshirt you stole from your girlfriend when you last saw her. The smell of her perfume was beginning to fade, but it wasn’t gone yet, and there was a distinct longing in your stomach to be close to her. Even if you were the reason there was any space to begin with.

You could hear your kettle bubbling next to you, and you knew you should make yourself some tea to soothe the sharp edges in your windpipe, but the thought of moving felt like too much.

Instead, you sunk into the couch, your arm dangling off the cushion, your fingers brushing the ugly red carpet.

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket, and you didn’t have to look to know who was texting you. Still, the urge to see what she would say was too great for you to ignore it.

It took all of your strength to move your heavy arm to your pocket and pull out your phone. Your fingers fumbled over the screen as you squinted at the device with the eye not pressed into the couch.

The light made the throbbing in your head worse, and the words written on the screen made your lungs constrict.

Ok, my love. Are you sure everything is alright? This is the 3rd time this week.

You could almost hear the worry in her voice. See the suspicion in her blue eyes.

They never failed to see through you. To strip away your exterior and leave you vulnerable and raw beneath them. It never made you feel exposed, even in the beginning when the two of you decided to extend your dynamic beyond your bedroom. Instead, you felt seen and safe.

Sometimes she liked to have to work for your submission. She liked to peel away each layer of you one by one until you were a trembling mess beneath her. Open and vulnerable in a way no one else ever got to see you.

Other times, you gave your submission willingly, stripping off your public persona like a dirty shirt and allowing her to envelop you in her warm comfort.

How much you wanted that. How much you needed it.

It was a desperation that filled your entire being.

Before you could process what you were doing, you had already pressed her contact photo and brought the now-ringing phone to your ear.

You laid the device on the side of your head and let your arm go back to dangling. It was too heavy to hold.

It only rang twice before her voice filled your ears.

“Hey my love,” She said, worry and relief mingling strangely in her tone. “I’m so happy you called me. How are you?”

Her voice washed over you like a soothing wave, like a balm on the sharp edges of your nerves, though it did little to help the fire in your lungs and throat.

You pressed your nose into the couch, pretending that it was her shoulder for just a second. That the honey and lavender surrounding you was her perfume. That she was here.

“Y/n, are you there?” She asked, and you opened your mouth to respond, but the words just wouldn’t come out.

You couldn’t force any sound, beyond a low whistle past your inflamed throat. Your lungs crackled with each breath.

Your inability to make sound didn’t bother you as much as it should have.

“Y/n? Did you butt-dial me?” Alessia asked again, and you could almost feel her running her nails through your hair, gently scratching your scalp. “I’m worried,”

The words were said with too much force, not at all the soft murmur your brain had been waiting to hear.

It shook you out of your haze just enough for you to reach up and grab your phone, clicking the decline button too fast.

You let the phone drop to the floor with a low thump as it immediately began to ring again.

Your fingers twitched above the screen, but you didn’t have the strength to reach for it, even as it lit up again with your girlfriend's contact photo.

Well, it was a photo of the two of you. You were curled up in her lap, in one of her blue UNC sweatshirts that were too big, and she was kissing the side of your head.

It had been taken after a particularly grueling day in the studio. It was Alessia’s turn to host team bonding night. You didn’t remember exactly who took the picture, Leah or Lotte, maybe, but it was one of your favorites.

What the camera didn’t catch was that your arms were not in the sleeves. Instead, they were tied with intricate knots behind your back, hidden by the sweatshirt.

It was something the two of you often did, and it was one of her go-to's when you were starting to spiral out of control.

A part of you longed for the feeling of the knots now, and her fingers twisting the soft rope against your skin.

Sure, the weight of your bracelet was nice, but it wasn’t enough.

You let out a wheezing breath that crackled and hurt.

If you asked, she would be here. She would wrap you up and pull you from your free fall.

It took you a long second to remember why you couldn’t have that.

Alessia had a job to do, and you wouldn’t stand in the way of that.

The phone buzzed again against the ugly carpet, the little voicemail icon flashing. You doubted you would be able to resist calling her back if you listened to it.

Still, you had to do something.

So you flicked the screen with one finger, going to your messages, and typing out words that felt fake, even to you.

Sorry, I’m ok. Just tired. I’ll call you tomorrow after the game. Love you.

You clicked send before you could overthink it though, or your trembling fingers could betray you and type out the truth. You laid your head back down on the couch, curling into yourself as a painful cough forced its way past your lips.

You weren’t sure how long you laid there, shivering before there was a soft knock at the door, and then the little click as it opened.

A part of your brain hoped that it would be Alessia. That she had read your mind and somehow teleported to whatever city you were in.

But the feeling of gentle fingers on the top of your shoulders told you that it wasn’t.

“Y/n?” Natasha asked, very close to your ear, and you blinked up at her.

You didn’t remember closing your eyes.

“Hm?” You hummed, the sound raw and painful.

“Let’s get you changed, and then we can go back to the hotel and you can sleep,” She said, placing a hand under your armpit and guiding you to a sitting position.

The tiny movement had coughs ripping past your lips.

She held you steady with one hand and grabbed you a change of clothes with the other.

“Easy,” She breathed out, carefully unbuttoning your shirt and pulling it from your sweaty skin.

She left you shirtless for a long second as she disappeared into your bathroom, and the cool air of the dressing room felt nice on your overheated skin.

It didn’t bother you. Natasha had seen you in far less clothing than your sports bra and underwear.

She returned only a moment later with a towel, using it to dry you off before she slipped a light blue t-shirt with a foot on the back over your head.

The pants took a little more wiggling, but eventually, she was able to get you out of your costume and into a pair of sweats that were far too big for you.

She slid a pair of Converse onto your feet, scooping up your phone and tucking it into her pocket.

“Let’s get you to the car,” She guided you to stand, keeping an arm wrapped tightly around you.

“People?” You asked, leaning more of your weight onto her as she pulled you towards the door.

You missed her eye roll.

Of course, all you were worried about right now was who would see you, and what they would think.

“Not here,” Natasha reassured you gently, opening the door. “Only when we get back to the hotel,”

You made a low, painful sound as she half-carried you into the hallway.

You still had time before you had to pull yourself together.

******

The city lights blurred into a distorted kaleidoscope of colors during the short ride back to the hotel.

The cool glass felt nice against your temple, though it did little to ease the throb in your head or the lava in your throat.

The feeling of eyes watching you for any wavering in your resolve also wouldn’t go away. You couldn’t be sure if it was worry (that you would puke all over the car or pass out), or concern about what the fans would think when you pulled up to the hotel.

The whirring of the engine wasn’t loud enough to block out your racing thoughts, but any music was too much for you to handle.

You were drowning.

Every breath hurt, but you didn’t know if it was because of the physical pain or the anxiety gnawing at you.

You didn’t like to upset people. You didn’t like to disappoint them.

You were a people pleaser to a fault, and this wasn’t the first time you had self-destructed to meet everyone’s expectations.

But at the end of the day, the person you wanted to please most. The person you wanted to not disappoint the most was Alessia. Was your Daddy.

You knew you were failing, but you didn’t know how to stop.

The car came to a stop in front of the hotel far too quickly, and not for the first time, you were thankful that the dark tint kept you hidden from public view.

“Ready, kid?” Steve asked, turning around in the driver's seat to look at you.

You nodded once, reaching forward and grabbing the sunglasses facing the wrong way on his head, and pulled them over your own eyes.

You took a deep breath before Clint opened your door, painting your signature smile across your features.

You didn’t wave when you got out, too focused on keeping yourself upright, as Steve’sarm wrapped around you on one side and Natasha’s did the same on the other.

You felt safe tucked between them, though they did nothing to shield you from shrill screams and cheers that met you as soon as your feet touched the ground. They amplified the pounding behind your eyes, and the way the crowd pressed around you made it even harder to breathe (not that you thought that was possible).

You did try to flash the crowd smiles as Natasha and Steve guided you through, Clint protecting your back, and you were thankful your eyes were hidden, despite it being nighttime.

You never wanted the fans to see the… fakeness. The lie.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding when the hotel doors slid closed behind you, placing more of your weight on Steve as Natash called the elevator.

“You’re burning up kid,” Steve murmured, shifting to get a better grip around your waist.

You made a low sound, that turned into a full body caught that nearly had you doubling over. “Is that your way of calling me hot Stevie? What would Tony think?”

The words came out garbled, cracking with every syllable as you tried to talk through the coughs.

Steve’s arm tightened around you to keep you upright.

“I think he would say that you are sick,” Steve sighed at the mention of his husband, your publicist, taking more of your weight as another round of coughs wracked you.

You pushed off of him as soon as you could breathe again, even if it felt like sucking air through a straw filled with needles, and swayed your way toward the elevator.

It binged open as soon as you reached it, and you stumbled inside, gripping the metal bar on the back wall for support, and resting your forehead on the cool wall.

You could feel the heat of your skin leaching into the surface, but it did little to quell the pounding in your ears or the feeling like everything was tipping on its head.

Your fingers instinctively found the braided bracelet, running over the soft leather strands.

However, this time, it didn’t ease the bubbling anxiety and fire in your chest.

“We’re almost there, and then you can rest,” Natasha said softly, and you felt both her and Steve’s eyes on you as you leaned further into the wall.

The movement of the elevator was starting to make you nauseous, but you didn’t think you could voice that even if you wanted to. Not with how raw your throat was.

It took you a second to realize the elevator had stopped, and it wasn’t until Natasha gently touched your shoulder that you began to move again.

You let Steve guide you out of the elevator and into the hallway.

Natasha had the door to your suite open before you even got there, and Steve half-carried you to the bed, settling you on the fluffy white comforter.

Your fingers tangled in the expensive sheets as you fought to keep yourself upright.

“Do you want to take a shower?” Natasha asked you softly, kneeling in front of you and carefully undoing your sneakers.

You shook your head slowly, smothering another cough. “Sweatshirt,”

The croaky word hurt as it left your lips, barely audible and surrounded by more lung-crunching coughs.

But they understood, Steve, passing you a bright red sweatshirt from your bag.

You brought it to your face and collapsed back onto the bed, breathing in the perfume that clung to the material.

It burned as it filled your senses, but you could pretend that it soothed the edges of glass in your throat and lungs. You could pretend that it was her taking off your shoes and tucking you in.

You could pretend that it was all ok and that she wasn’t going to be livid when she found out. Not that you were sick, but that you hadn’t told her immediately.

You knew you would take whatever punishment she decided you deserved with no questions. She could be rather creative when she was annoyed with you.

“Let’s get you settled properly,” Natasha said, shifting you on the bed so your head was on the pillows, as Steve moved the covers and tucked them around you. “Rest now, and we’ll deal with the rest in the morning,”

You groaned, sending more flames down your airway, rolling over and pressing your face more firmly into the sweatshirt.

You heard the distinctive sound of your phone being plugged in, and the click of the door.

And then you were alone.

More alone than you had been in a very long time.

Even if it was all your own doing, you hadn’t been this disconnected since the beginning of Alessia’s college career, and your first tour with Taylor. The infamous break in your relationship. Even though neither of you had actually experimented with anyone else, and you had texted and called nonstop, you had been hesitant to push too far, to ask for too much.

You blew out a long breath into her sweatshirt, ignoring the little needles that followed the air, eyes fixed on the phone on your bedside.

It buzzed again as if it knew you were thinking about it.

You reached your hand out, pulling it close so you could look at it, but it was still plugged in.

The movement had the screen lighting up with a string of messages. The one at the top made your heart hurt.

Please don’t ignore me, my Little One. I’m worried.

It said, and you could almost hear the inflection in her tone. You could almost see her eyes softening, and feel her fingers brushing your hair behind your ear.

You closed your eyes, pressing more deeply into the sweatshirt under your head.

Your fantasy world was far nicer than the reality you were in, and the universe wouldn’t end if you stayed in it until morning.

********

Your night was… hazy, filled with half-dreams that were increasingly difficult to distinguish from real life. As the morning light crept its way further and further across the ceiling, you leaned into the sweatshirt slowly losing its smell, one eye peeking out to track its progress.

It felt like a timer. A countdown clock on the imagined feelings of soothing hands on your back and whispered reassurance that everything would be okay.

Soon enough the door would open and you would have to be you again. You would have to pretend like each breath you took didn’t feel like a bear was mauling your lungs, and your brain wasn’t a freight train threatening to escape from your skull.

You would have to deal with the incessant buzzing of your phone that had kept you on the edge of real sleep all night.

You would have to face your girlfriend. Your daddy.

You were not looking forward to it. Any of it.

The only thing that you were semi-excited about was watching your girlfriend play, even through a screen. That had been your only saving grace back when she was in college before the two of you got back together, and you knew it would be your only saving grace now.

You sighed, rolling over, the sweatshirt falling from its bunched-up place against your cheek, and reaching for the phone still on the corner of the bed next to you.

It buzzed again as your fingers caught it, and brought it closer so you could see the screen. It was filled with notifications.

Some were from the group thread you shared with your manager, assistant, and publicist. Some were emails from people you were collaborating with.

But the majority were from Alessia.

You couldn’t help but click on the thread.

You knew it was a mistake immediately.

Good morning little one. I’ll have some time if you want to FaceTime before the game. I miss you, and I’m worried. You don’t usually ignore me.

It was like an arrow straight through your heart.

A direct hit to your will.

You swallowed hard, ignoring how badly it burned, and typed out a message.

I miss you too. Good luck today. You’re going to do amazing

You dropped your phone after you hit send, deciding that finding the starting 11 wasn’t important anymore, and stared up at the ceiling through half-lidded eyes, pulling the comforter more tightly around you despite the sweat breaking out across your chest.

You thought it would help the hollow feeling slowly taking over your insides, or the dull throb that accompanied each breath.

It did not.

You let your eyes slide back closed, deciding that the light hadn’t transversed far enough across the ceiling for you to need to be awake yet. Not when the pull of sleep was so strong, and the comfort of your half dreams was too difficult to resist.

“You know I don't like it when you hide from me,” Alessia’s voice said sternly, as though it was right next to your ear, and you felt fingertips graze your lips.

You didn’t open your eyes. Even amongst the haze that was filling every crack in your brain, you knew she wasn't here. She couldn’t be here. Not when she was back in London about to play some team you couldn’t remember.

“I know,” You rasped out.

The fingers gently pulled at your bottom lip before they circled back towards your cheek, and a thumb brushed across your closed eyelid.

“And you’re still doing it?” She asked, and you felt the air of each word on your ear.

You shook your head, turning it slightly, hoping to feel her nose bump hers. “You need to focus on the important things,”

You didn’t come into contact with her, though you knew you should have with the way you shifted.

“And you are not important to me?” She asked her voice hardening in the way it only did when you were about to receive a punishment.

An involuntary shiver ran down your spine, and your eyes opened automatically.

You sucked in a painful breath, blinking blearily at the face above you.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” Natasha said quietly, even as your eyes darted around, searching for your girlfriend. “It’s 1, so you need to wake up so we can make a decision about tonight,”

“Less?” You asked, your voice barely a whisper when you saw that Natasha was the only other person in the room with you.

Natasha frowned, brushing your hair away from your forehead. “She’s in London, remember? The game against Luxembourg starts soon,”

Your eyebrows pulled tightly together. You hadn’t remembered that they were playing Luxembourg.

“She’s starting?”

“No,” Natasha shook her head. “It’s mostly the young ones starting since the over-under is plus 20 for England,”

Your nose scrunched, and you forced yourself to sit up. “She has to play,”

None of this would be worth it if she never touched the field.

“I think Serina is using this as more of an identification camp,” Natasha countered, stepping in to help you sit up. “The girls need rest after doing both the Champions League and regular play these last couple of weeks,”

You grunted though it sounded more like a pained wheeze than a grunt.

Alessia’s schedule had been nearly as insane as your own for the past few months. It was part of the reason you were so… reluctant to bother her with something as trivial as a tickle in your throat.

“Maybe you should take a page out of her book,” Natasha added.

Your nostrils flared immediately at the implication.

Your job was so much less physical than Alessia’s. You didn’t do anything to deserve rest like she did.

The pressure you both face to perform was inherently different.

She didn’t let down millions of people every time she rode the bench. She wouldn’t crush the dreams of thousands of people if she didn’t take the pitch.

But still, you could already hear her argument ringing in your head.

I expect you to care for the things that belong to me as deeply and completely as I do. That includes yourself. Your needs matter, and I will not allow you to disregard them.

“No.” You rasped, none of the bite you meant appearing in the word.

“Yes,” Natasha countered, shifting the pillows behind you before you leaned back. “There is no way you can perform tonight,”

You huffed, and crossed your arms, glaring at the city beyond the large window to the right of the bed. “People paid-“

“To hear you sing. Not hack your way through a set,” Natasha cut you off. “They’ll be more disappointed if you give them a show that’s not your best. Reschedule the last 3, so they’re worth what they paid,”

Your glare only deepened, and your eyebrows pulled very tightly together as you processed what she was saying (taking a few extra minutes to cut through the thick fog in your brain).

You knew she was playing on your sensibility. You thought ticket prices were disgusting, and had fought to lower them as much as you could. You had made your show longer in retaliation, so the fans got what they paid for.

You wouldn’t give them a sub-par show.

You didn’t look at her but nodded once.

“I’ll have Tony write a statement. Do you want to approve it before it goes out?” She asked, her voice gentle.

You shook your head, your lips pursing.

“We’ll release it then, and I’ll call a doctor so we can get you some real medication,” The redhead continued, ignoring the deep frown pulling at your features.

It wasn’t that you were trying to be difficult. You just knew what would happen the second the people staked outside of your hotel caught sight of a doctor.

But now you felt like you didn’t have a choice, and not in the fun way.

“Fine,” You muttered, a hacking cough following it.

Natasha patted your back until the coughing stopped, and you relaxed back against the pillows. “I’ll take care of everything. I’ll have food sent up, you just watch the game and try to get more sleep before the doctor gets here,”

You huffed but didn’t protest as she tucked the blanket tighter around your torso.

“I know you’re unhappy with all of this, but it is what it is, and we need to look after your health too,” She sighed, turning and bustling around the room, flipping on the television to the game and grabbing a mug you hadn't noticed from the dresser by the door. “Drink that, and I’ll be back in a bit,”

You didn’t respond as she placed the mug on the table beside you, and disappeared through the hotel room door with a soft click.

You wanted to groan. To yell. To throw the mug across the room, but you knew it wouldn’t help.

The other part of you wanted your guitar, not that you were sure your fingers were strong enough right now to actually play.

You closed your eyes, tilting your head back on the pillows.

It wasn’t long before you felt fingers in your hair, though you hadn’t heard the door open again.

You instantly knew who it was, though her perfume was suspiciously missing.

“You look like you got hit by a bus,” She murmured, her breath brushing across your nose.

Your eyes fluttered open, meeting her blue, except it was two shades darker than you remembered, the same shade as the old UNC jersey she was wearing.

“I’m fine,” You croaked, the sound pulling a hacking cough from your lungs that burned as it left you.

“Ah yes, because you sound just fine,” She huffed, her nails scratching lazily at your scalp. “You don’t need to hide from me,”

You blinked slowly, and her form shimmered slightly beside you. “‘M not. ‘M right here,”

“Rule one is honesty for a reason,” She countered, her hand pausing. “You’ve not abided by that.”

You swallowed around the glass in your throat at the confirmation of what you already knew, and your eyes closed again as the heavy weight of it settled on your mind.

You had broken the most sacred rule and you were in trouble. It wouldn’t just be a punishment you would have to take. It would be regaining her trust that would take the longest time.

It was a fragile thing, and you had shattered it.

You forced your eyes open again, determined to say something- anything- that would make it better, except when you did, she was gone.

You blinked heavily at the empty bed beside you. The space she had been seconds ago.

You wanted to shake your head, but with the freight train pounding in your skull, you knew that was a terrible idea.

“This is a very different starting eleven for England, but it’s what we expected. The only change of note is that Alessia Russo is unavailable for this game.”

Your eyebrows furrowed at the television, flashing the starting lineup for the game.

Natasha said Alessia wasn’t starting, but you expected her to at least be on the bench.

You closed your eyes and let your head fall back.

What was the point of suffering alone if Alessia wasn’t even going to play?

You weren’t sure anymore.

******

“I’ve got her,”

You stirred at the familiar voice, and the feeling of gentle fingers running through your hair and the bed shifting next to you. The scent of lavender and honey wrapped around you like a comforting blanket, pulling you closer to consciousness.

Your eyebrows pulled tightly together before your eyes flickered open, meeting the familiar blue of your girlfriend.

“Hey there,” She said softly, her thumb smoothing out the crease between your eyebrows. “How are you feeling?”

You opened your mouth, but nothing but a low hacking cough came out.

“Easy, little one,” Alessia shushed you softly. “Just relax. I’m here, and I’ll take care of you now, ok?”

It was painful how real she felt. Painful how much you wanted to believe she was here with you.

“Trouble,” You mumbled, coughing violently afterward, unable to stop yourself from leaning into her hand.

“I think we should make it your middle name since you seem to find it so often,” She murmured, running her hand again through your hair. “But no. You’re not in trouble. Not right now,”

You made a low, wheezing sound, shaking your head, despite the waves of nausea it sent to your stomach. “Real daddy disagrees,”

She frowned. “Real daddy?”

You swallowed hard, forcing words past your stolen vocal cords. “Not here. In Luxembourg. Won’t fool me again,”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” She said, her nails dragging against your scalp in the way she knew you loved. “Natasha called me last night, and I got on the flight as soon as I could,”

It took a few extra seconds for her words to filter through the unpleasant haze in your brain. Even then, they didn’t make sense.

Hell, her entire demeanor, including the softness in her features as she looked at you, didn’t make sense.

You explicitly told Natasha not to call her, and you couldn’t process her going against that request. Not when Alessia had a game to play.

“My brain is making you up,” You wheezed after another long second.

She breathed out a half chuckle. “While your brain is brilliant, I wasn’t conjured by it,”

You made a low, husky sound that could only be incredulity.

Her thumb again smoothed the space between your eyebrows. “What will it take for you to believe you’re awake?”

You blinked heavily at her, your shoulders lifting and falling.

She shook her head. “You’re too much,”

“No,” You mumbled, the crease between your eyebrows pushing against her finger. “‘M a good girl,”

“Yes. You are always my good girl, even when you’re being a stubborn pain in the ass,” She agreed fondly, leaning down to press a kiss to your too-warm forehead. “Sleep. I’ll be here where you wake up, and maybe you’ll actually believe you’re not dreaming,”

“Promise?” you asked. Sounding small, as exhaustion pulled at you.

She hummed. “I promise,”

Her fingers kept their soft rhythm in your hair as your eyes fluttered closed, and you shifted to press your nose into her shoulder, breathing in her perfume with each rattling intake from your lungs. It surrounded you, soothing the burning in your chest, and soothing the sharp edges in your throat.

For the first time since the lingering tickle started, you actually felt at peace. You felt calm enough to let yourself truly relax.

It would suck when you woke up and Alessia was gone, but doing anything other than allowing your mind to linger in this delusion felt unbearable.

Instead, you allowed yourself to sink into the overwhelming pull of exhaustion.

And you swore you heard an “always,” before sleep pulled you under.

Even if this alessia didn’t turn out to be real, you trusted her. And as angry as you wanted to be at Natasha and Steve for calling her, you knew she was exactly what you needed.

She always would be, even if she was just made up in your mind.

#woso x reader #woso imagines #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo imagine #safe harbor universe #woso imagine

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lavenders388 · 2 days ago

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~The Type of Guy~

⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡�� Kang Dae Ho

a/n i kno this gif isnt fully dae ho but its fully my favorite soo

not requested 💌

~⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆Kang Dae Ho is⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆~

the type of guy to make you laugh without even trying! his personality is so genuine and extroverted, anything he says he means it and he says it with his confident enthusiasm! he absolutely brightens up even the darkest of rooms (like in the games) and loves making people happy. this caught your attention at first and stayed your favorite thing, only growing as your love grows ⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆

the type of guy who vows the moment he meets you to protect you no matter what, this also ties into his confident and strong personality, he knows he deserves respect and so do you, and he's willing to fight for that no matter what<3 in the games he makes sure he's by your side or watching out for you and ensuring your safety. in the mingle game he won't for a second consider splitting up even if the group decides to.

the type of guy whose goal is to give you the life you deserve. if he meets you in the games, his perspective on winning the money totally changes; he decides he wants to pay off his debts and then buy a nice house for the two of you where you can spend the rest of your lives comfortably without the stress of finances. if he already knows you, he 100% joins the games because he believes he needs to be out of debt and moderately wealthy in order to be what you deserve.

the type of guy that is super super clingy to you. he loves you so much and he wants to show it in any way he can- always expect an arm around you from his tall frame, protecting you and reminding you how loved and cared for you are. he loves to cuddle, whether its on the couch watching a show during the day, or in your shared bed at night he wants to be as close to you as possible- not just to show his love for you but to make sure you feel safe and supported; as well as he just wants to hold you!!:3

the type of guy who listens to anything you say big or small, expect to get home and find that thing you briefly mentioned needing/wanting sitting on your bed ~v~

the type of guy who supports you no matter what! want to quit your job and look for a new one? he's already asked for more hours at his! want to go to uni? he's packing your lunch! want to do something out of your comfort zone? he's already cheering!

the type of guy who encourages you to have your own independence. he is absolutely in love with you having your own hobbies and things you enjoy doing! as well as he supports if you want some alone time or to be with your friends as well!

the type of guy who is the best partner ever (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

#squid game x reader #dae ho x reader #dae ho #squid game #squid game season 2 #kang dae ho #kang dae ho x reader #player 388 #player 388 x reader #dae ho headcannons #kang dae ho headcannons #squid game headcannnons #i lobe him so much my little skrunkly

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energ00n · 3 days ago

Note

What do you look forward to the most when it comes to creating your apprentice au?

Perhaps revealing new hidden aspects? It’s always fun to see how people react to certain things haha. I didn’t expect people to like the AU so it’s super nice to hear thoughts and theories for it

#ask ene

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linskywords · 1 day ago

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2024 HRPF recs

As has become my wont, I spent the last few weeks trying to catch up on some of the new fics in the hockey RPF tag that I missed over the course of the year. I definitely didn't get to everything, or even all of the most popular ones; there may also be a bias towards shorter fics here, as I was trying to get through a lot. 😅 But I hope you enjoy, and possibly find a gem or two that you missed!

First, some general favorites:

Scoring Effects by @helenish (McDrai, 30K): Ah, Helenish. A goddess among us. I love a good mistaken identity story, and this is a GREAT mistaken identity story.

barons by dilangley (MattDrai, 43K): Future fic in which Houston gets its own expansion team, Matthew coaches it, and Leon and Trevor Zegras play on it. Gorgeously done. The Trevor POV section broke me a bit, but it was worth it.

Living Things by @makeit-takeit (TK/Patty, 115K so far): I am so deeply invested in this series. It's very real and vivid-feeling future fic that does an amazingly thoughtful job exploring the NHL wife-and-kids pipeline and what happens when that doesn't fit you as well as you thought it would. The stories that are written so far feel nicely complete, but if you'd rather hold out for the full HEA, you can check out her Wild Ice for a different highlight from the past year.

put the stars in our eyes by @notthequiettype (McDrai, 17K): the McWedding story that I wish I had written. I thought it was going to destroy me, and instead it left me all warm and fuzzy.

Lost and Found by angry_geno_is_score (MattDrai, 2K): angry_geno_is_score had so much to choose from this year, as always, and I loved this as a microcosm of the hurt/comfort they do so well. If you like it, you know where to find more from them!

Next, we move to the irresistible new Sharks babies. I'm not sure I can oversell how hot these three stories managed to be:

come on (leave me breathless) by countthestars @moondoggiestyle (Will/Mack, 10K): I've already talked about how much I loved this one. There can never be too many stories of one player catching the other getting off in the shower, especially if they're as hot as this.

revising the shoreline by ohyellowbird @teex (Will/Mack, 6K): another super well done exploring-their-sexuality-while-not-talking-about-it story, aka my kryptonite.

teamwork makes the dreamwork by canary @bigdogenergy (Will/Mack and Will/Mack/Ryan Leonard, 19K): I'm sure a lot of you have already read this in the last week or so, but I couldn't not recommend it. Mack goes into heat and Will needs an alpha to help him out. Who to call but the ex?

And then we enter the realm of vaguely devastating but gorgeously written JDTZ trade fics:

home by now by donderwolk @donderwolkenblog (Jamie/Trevor, 6K): The moment they found out about the trade, and a little bit after. Brilliant, impeccable, ruinous.

heat check by jolach @hyggles (Jamie/Trevor and also Carts/Richie, 4K): Outsider perspective on Jamie and especially Trevor as they deal with the aftermath of the trade, through the eyes of Mike Richards, who may have some experience in the area. I don't know how anyone writes this well, honestly.

Finally, one of my favorite things about reading through the past year's fics is finding a prolific new author I love who I had totally missed in my year of mostly reading people I'm already subscribed to. This year it was unsay (@tungpin). They seem to have started writing HRPF this year, and they tend toward the kind of complicated sometimes-ambiguous stories that I never manage to write but love to read. Here are a few of my favorites of theirs from this year:

malt (MattDrai, 4K): Leon meets Sasha Barkov and has feelings about how he wants to be more serious than Matthew does (OR DOES HE).

accessory to the rockstar (McDrai, 5K): once again we have Leon having thoughts about how he feels more than the person he's into, this time about Connor. Bittersweet and lovely.

the care and keeping (Jamie/Trevor, 12K): in which Trevor's friends get on Jamie's case about neglecting him post-trade, and Jamie does something about it.

That's it from me, at least for now! I know there were many excellent stories this year I didn't get to, especially the long ones that I just didn't commit to while reading for this list. Perhaps this is the year I do what I've been telling myself to do for the past two years and keep track of what I read and love throughout the year. We can only dream. 😅

Happy reading!!

#hockey rpf #fic recs #mcdrai #mattdrai #tk/patty #willmack #jdtz

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lovedrruunk · 23 hours ago

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'A Fresh Start 𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐[part v]

powder finally made it to the hangout stage (good for her!), and guess she never really realized how good talking to you one on one would feel. [part iv]

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧✮ < banger song inspo!!

Powder shuffled along the stone sidewalk, her head down and her hands buried in her worn jacket pockets. The town square was deafening. The noise of it all was something she just couldn’t seem to get adjusted to. Sure, the undercity was loud, people yelling, arguing, running, sounds she was used to, sounds easy to block out. But this?

Easy laughter, happy chatter, meaningless conversation just for the sake of it. It was like a ringing in her ear, irritating her brain as if she wasn’t meant to hear it, like her ears weren’t developed enough to process it.

Looking up at the people passing by she noticed how all of their faces were unfamiliar. Either she’d never met them, never looked them in the eye, or had totally forgotten about them. She wanted to feel bad about it but she just… couldn’t. All the faces here seemed so generic, like NPCs in a video game. Every face just seemed like a blur. Every face but one.

“Powder!”

And suddenly the ringing in her ear stopped. Your face wasn’t like the others. It wasn’t part of the background. It was clear, vivid, impossible to ignore. You were smiling at her, waving like you’d been waiting to see her. For a second, she didn’t move, didn’t breathe, just stood there like an idiot, staring back.

It happened. In less than a week, the interaction she’d dreamed of had… actually happened.

It was a weird feeling, to watch the scene she pictured in her head constantly play out before her in real time. You called her name and waved her hello, because you knew her, because you were here to see her this time, not the baker, not the merchant, not your neighbors. The realization made her lips twitch upward and before she could stop herself, a goofy smile spread across her face. She probably looked ridiculous, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

“Sorry, did I make you wait long?” You asked, catching your breath.

“No, don't worry, I just got here.” She said quickly, shaking her head.

It was a total lie of course. She had been waiting long, long enough to overthink, to second-guess whether she should’ve shown up at all, and to count the cracks in the sidewalk. But it didn’t matter now. You were here, and somehow, that made the waiting feel insignificant, like it had been worth it.

You smiled, not questioning her answer, and pointed down the street casually. “I was thinking we could head down to the river.” you said, like the thought had just popped into your head. “It’s quieter there. I know the noise here can be a lot sometimes.”

Powder blinked, startled by how easily you seemed to know her, like you’d figured out something she hadn’t even put into words yet herself. She hesitated for a moment, her hands still shoved deep into her pockets, before nodding. “Yeah. Okay.”

You started walking, and she followed you without a word, just like she always had. Except this time she wasn’t sneaking around, because you had been walking together. At first, it felt strange. Her pace awkward, her head down, unsure of what to say or do. But you didn’t seem bothered by her silence, didn’t rush her to keep up or pressure her to fill the space between you. You just…walked, calm and easy, without a second thought.

The town square got quieter and quieter, replaced by the faint sounds of nature, birds chirping, the occasional rustle of leaves, and the distant sound of flowing water. Powder glanced up as they rounded a corner, catching the sight of the river.

The water wasn’t super deep where you guys were, she could see the smooth rocks under the water from afar, some sticking out a little. She couldn’t remember if she’d ever seen water this clean or blue. The sun was out, but not in an annoying way. Just enough to keep things warm without making her squint. The wind was nice too, just enough to ruffle her hair, the perfect balance of warm and cool. The only sounds she could hear now was the soft splashing of water and chirping of birds

For a second, she thought about how different it felt here. Like the world had slowed down just for you two. She glanced over at you and caught you smiling, like you’d been here a thousand times, like this was just another day for you.

When you reached the riverbank, you didn’t hesitate. You spotted a bench with a clear view of the water, sat down like it was your favorite spot in the world, and gestured for her to join you.

“See? Way better.” you said with a grin, stretching lazily.

Powder lingered for a second, her eyes flicking between the bench and the water, before finally sitting down. Stiffly. Like she’d never sat down a day in her life, or like the bench might break just to spite her. She looked around, her arms stuck to her sides, half expecting something to go wrong.

But nothing did.

The river kept flowing, and the trees kept swaying. The world didn’t seem to care that she was sitting there, that she felt out of place.

And then there was you.

You didn’t seem to care either, not in a bad way, but in a way that made her feel like it didn’t matter if she was awkward or didn’t know what to say. You were just… there. Sitting beside her, relaxed, watching the water like it was the only thing that mattered.

Powder shifted slightly, her arms relaxing a little. She wasn’t used to quiet like this, the kind that wasn’t filled with tension or internal voices, the kind that didn’t demand anything from her.

She still felt a little off, like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. But for the first time in a while, it felt like maybe… maybe nothing had to go wrong.

“So, how are you liking the town?” You asked, breaking the silence.

She thought about it for a bit. It was such a simple question yet she had no idea how to answer it. Where would she begin? It was nice sure, peaceful, lively, the perfect place to settle, but how did she like it? Guess she never really thought about it.

She liked her cabin. She made it her own and it felt nice to have a place to herself. She liked the market, even though she was always quick to scurry out of there. She liked the kids in town, she’d sometimes linger by a little longer and listen in on their conversations. Sometimes they’d be arguing over something stupid like who won which game, other times they’d be happily chasing each other around. She liked you, of course.

Sometimes she wondered what it would’ve been like if she had moved here earlier, before everything went wrong. It was a selfish thought really, but one she found herself often staying up picturing. Afterall, she knew someone who would’ve loved to play with the kids in town. She would’ve liked you too, would’ve liked this new life.

“It’s nice.” She muttered, keeping her eyes on the moving water.

“Seriously…? That’s it?”

That made her chuckle. She turned her head to look at you with a small smile and furrowed brows.

“What? It is nice.” She exclaimed

You stayed silent, rolling your eyes with a small ‘hmph’ looking away.

“It’s also… new.” She continued after a small bit of silence. “Believe it or not, I’d never seen a forest before coming here… oh, or water this pretty.” she added absentmindedly as she took in their surroundings.

“Oh right, I’ve been meaning to ask. Where did you live before you came here?” You asked curiously as you turned to look at her again.

There it was, the dreaded question. Well, one of them. There were a lot of questions she was dreading. But she figured this one would come up sooner than later.

It wasn’t like Zaun was known for its great living conditions.

She’d be lying if she said she wasn't nervous, she didn’t know how you’d react to her being from somewhere so… Scary? Dirty? Horrible?... she figured any one of those could work. A part of her was tempted to lie, say she was from Piltover or somewhere else that's fancy and shiny, but she knew she couldn’t do that to you, lying now? So early into your conversation? No way. And besides, she doubted she could stomach the idea of calling herself a Piltie.

Her throat felt dry, and her voice came out quieter than she intended.

“I… I’m from Zaun.”

“From where now?”

“The Undercity.”

There was a pause.

“Piltover.”

Still nothing.

She blinked at you, deadpan. “The ‘City of Progress’?”

Your expression lit up in sudden recognition. “Oh! With the Hex Portals?”

She didn’t even have the heart to correct you…

Your confusion confused her, but she wasn’t exactly mad about it. It was... surprising, in a good way. Guess all that worrying was for nothing. She couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of comfort in your cluelessness, like it drew an even thicker line between her past and her present.

“Yeah, I’ve heard of it.” you said, your voice casual like this was just small talk. “Hm. It’s a long way from here, though. What made you leave?”

Her body stiffened. What was it with you and these dreaded questions? She shifted uncomfortably, her eyes darting back to the river.

As much as she wanted to be annoyed at you for asking the one thing she wanted to avoid, she knew she couldn’t. It wasn’t the question that was the problem, it was her answer. Anyone else might’ve taken it as a casual, perfectly normal thing to ask. The issue wasn’t you. The issue was her.

She opened her mouth, trying to come up with something to say, but nothing felt right. Her chest tightened

Thankfully, you seemed to catch on to her hesitation. Your voice softened. “It’s okay if you don’t wanna tell me. I get it.”

She hadn’t realized she’d been holding her breath until that moment. Her shoulders relaxed slightly, and she gave you a small nod, grateful you didn’t push for more.

“Well,” you continued, leaning back on the bench with a smile “whatever the reason, I’m glad you’re here now,”

She smiled again, her heart warm-

“even though you were kinda creepy at first.”

“What!?” Her head snapped towards you.

“Why is this surprising? You were like totally stalking me. Kinda had me worried.” You said casually with a laugh.

“Well- I didn’t- I wasn’t trying to be creepy.” She said defensively. “I just thought you were cool…”

Your teasing grin faltered, replaced by a look of surprise.

You blinked, clearly taken aback. “Oh.”

Powder winced, feeling like she’d just made things worse.

“Oh?” she repeated, nervously twisting her fingers together.

“Sorry, just didn’t expect that.” you said, your voice softer now, glancing down at the ground.

Her eyes darted away. “Was that... weird to say?”

“No, no,” you said quickly, shaking your head. “I mean,” You laughed a little, still processing. “I didn’t think I’d come off as cool to anyone, let alone you.”

Her brows furrowed, she almost looked…offended. “Why not?”

You shrugged, a sheepish smile playing on your lips. “I don’t know. I think I’m pretty average overall. My life’s pretty mundane.” You said looking towards the sky absentmindedly. “No mysterious backstory, no crazy hair.” You finished with a laugh as you looked back at her again, only to be taken aback when you were met with a stern face.

“That’s what makes you cool.” She said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

You just sat there staring at one another. Her face still serious and yours all the more surprised.

“If you say so…”

Powder nodded sharply. “I do say so.”

Then you smiled, like you weren’t sure whether to laugh or say thank you

“Well... thanks, I guess,” you said finally.

. . .

The sun was starting to set now, the gentle sound of the river filled the quiet, and Powder found herself feeling lighter than she had in a long time.

“It’s nice here,” she said, almost to herself.

You glanced over at her. “Yeah. It is.”

You leaned forward, tilting your head to get a good look at her. “We should do this again sometime. Y’know, hang out.”

Powder blinked, looking over at you. The casual way you said it made her chest ache in that strange, unfamiliar way again. “Yeah,” she said softly. “I’d like that.”

You smiled at her, a small, genuine one that made her stomach flip. Then you stood up, stretching contently.

“Come on,” you said, reaching out a hand to her. “We should head back before it gets dark. Can’t have you tripping over something.”

Powder rolled her eyes, smiling back. “I’ll have you know, I’m very good at walking.”

“Yuh huh,” you teased, grabbing her hand to pull her up anyway. “Whatever you say creep.”

“Ugh.”

. . .

"next part will def be out before new years!" i said knowing damn well it wouldnt be LMAO guys pls i have a life outside of tumblr OH MY DAYSSSS shocker ik

anyways sry this took long (i rewrote it TWICE) im actually not thattt happy with it STOP I CAN ALREADY HEAR THE BOOS AND TOMATOES BEING THROWN ik guys im never satisfied BUT TO POST SOMETHING I TRULY LIKE IT WOULD TAKE A WHOLE 2 MONTHS AT LEAST

ALSO THE STORY IS COMING TO AN ENDDD IM HEARTBROKEN TOO BUT BUT BUT DW I still plan on writing for this "au" or wtv, ill make a separate post explaining why/how ;P

THX SM FOR STILL READING I LOVEEEEEE U GUYSSS BYEBYE XOXOXO KISSKISSKISS

p.s ik jinx leaving zaun before act 2 wouldve been pointless cuz she needed the closure i just wanted to write abt her thinking abt it ;P

notes r appreciated ofc (˶ > ₃ < ˶)

[taglist ( ;´ - `;)!!]

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cyberstudious · 3 days ago

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2025, week 1 (dec 30th - jan 5th) ✨

for this year, I felt inspired to take a page out of @lostlibrariangirl's book and try weekly posts! I like the idea of collecting little moments throughout the week & reflecting on them at the end.

this week was very strange and kind of difficult, tbh. I blame new year's day falling in the middle of the week - my routine-loving brain did not have a good time haha. I was also struggling to get some work projects done. I find that some projects flow really well, and others seem to drag on forever and make me question my purpose, but I suppose it all balances out in the end. I'm hoping that things will feel more normal next week, now that all the holidays are over. swinging between feeling super exhausted and super motivated is not fun :(

one of the things that I did this week was fill out a goals page in my 2025 planner! I wrote down a lot, but I think they're all achievable, and it's okay if I don't get everything! it'll still be nice to look back at the end of the year and see what I've done. there are some cybersecurity courses that I want to work through, and I want to properly get back into language learning this year, but I wrote down some fun goals, too! here is a small selection of what I want to try and do in 2025:

complete the TCM Practical Malware Analysis and Triage course

read a book in Spanish

reach 50 birds on my life list (this is a totally arbitrary number, but that's like 1-2 new birds per month which I think I can do if I really try) (a subgoal of this is trying to spot an american woodcock bc their range technically overlaps with where I live and they are so goofy looking. I want to see one of them doing that funky lil dance in person so bad)

mend at least 1 item of clothing

get a technician amateur radio license (everyone on my dad's side of the family is licensed, and I think it would be a fun hobby to get into as a combo of learning the science behind radio & also learning to help with communications from a disaster preparedness perspective)

I think 2025 is going to be a year where I have to keep reminding myself that I can do anything, but not everything. I also want to make it a year of reaching out and forging connections with people in my community & online friends. the world feels like a very heavy place more days than not, but we can get through it together.

some highlights from this week:

drinking lots of tea

settling into my 2025 planner

getting back into language learning with clozemaster & busuu

outlining & starting the first draft of a fic that's taken over my brain the past few weeks lol

finishing two projects at work so I can start fresh next week

#studyblr #studyspo #studying #reading #study inspo #study motivation #op #this post got longer than I expected it to but wahooo new year time lol #I think I'm just gonna try to take it day by day and see what happens #practicing being kind to myself and all that

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inthefoxholes · 2 days ago

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veilguard, i hated it.

So i finally finished veilguard, and guys, what. a. shitshow.

So apart from the fact that it feels like a half-finished game (which it probably is), I mostly hated it on two accounts: 1) the overall lore implications (we knew this from this reddit q&a, but I'm still angry, and I won't stop talking about it) BOTH in regards to previous games and this one and 2) how this was not at all a roleplaying game. (sorry, english is not my first language and I'm tired and enraged)

Let's look a little closer, shall we.

One: The Lore Implications. This pisses me off in two ways:

First, the amateurish attempt at a "clean slate". This is just so insulting. If they wanted to make a game without any of that icky baggage, then the should have chosen a new ip for this. I get that it's complicated after three games with a lot of moving parts, I get that the decision to move away from southern thedas was an attempt to curtail a lot of this, but COME ON. Walls of nonsensical (seriously, they read ai created) text from the inquisitor, that mainly tell you that everything you fought for, all the people, all the places, is gone? And not for effect, not for the story, entirely offscreen and nonsensical, just so the writers don't have to care for this anymore? This does NOT get me invested into the story. No mention of who your Divine is; no mention of who sits on the orleasian throne - and it should matter, shouldn't it, whether or not your EXILED the grey wardens, whether or not you have an elf with a SPY NETWORK close to the orleasian throne, whether or not you DISBANDED the inquisition. All of that does influence what happens on the world state, or at least it should. (And if you want to ignore it, why not do in a way that's less obvious, less bad, why not have your protagonist be someone with no ties to the inquisition, who genuinely does not know whats going on in the south? Why have a world state when you don't want anything to do with it?)

Second, and that's even worse: you cannot take a fully established world, and then alter it to your weird specifications. THE FUCK you mean, there are no slaves in Minrathous, the goddamn slave capital of the world?? Why THE HELL is there a whole questline where we try to find disappeared people, snatched from the street for the ritual, when it should be perfectly possible to buy a few batches of slaves and have them express delivered to your ritual site. (So we can show up and fuck up your slave operation.) But no - I get shamed when I don't save Minrathous?? Well, fuck you, Fenris sends his regards, I hope you all burn.

To this ties the overall simplificaton of the world: Nobody is really bad, just the few super bad guys, but they are so evil as to have no real motiviation, they are basically Thanos or otherwise racist cartoons (totally believable that the Qunari, or a sect thereof, would be on board with mad sorcery). They rest, they are good guys! The pirates are very mindful of cultural heriatages! The crows are just your friendly neighborhood assassins (I remember the stories Zevran told slightly differently), and, as assassins, they naturally wear uniforms, so you see them coming (as do the "secret" "underground" "rebels" from Tevinter). I'm not saying that everyone should be evil, but the fact that whole organisations are presented to us as benefical is so insulting, ESPECIALLY when it was always a point of pride for the Dragon Age franchise that it was morally complicated. There is slavery and poverty and darkspawn. NOPE, you can stand knee deep in blight, not a problem anymore. (if only Carver had known) There is racism against elfs. (well, as the elfs seem to be respnsible for EVERY problem thedas faces, from the veil to the darkspawn, maybe that was precient? - also, always nice to have everything tied in such a neat bow, everything tied to one ONE causality, that makes things really believable and realistic) The Templars are fascists, sure, but abominations are a problem that does not get solved easily. NOPE, not anymore! When before, even a spirit of JUSTICE got corrupted in this world (therby making the valiant and sublte point that abstract concepts rarely hold up well when coming in contact with messy reality), now you can be possessed by a demon of SPITE and HE DOES NOT DO ONE SPITEFUL THING AT ALL. Nice, if only the mages knew that, you just have to accecpt feelings or whatever and then everything's well. SO NEAT!

This brings me to point number two: Why do we play this game? The complex and previously established word is gone; what's left are cartoons thereof. And then, there's not even a hint of role-playing left. Why can't I be mean to Harding?? I loved her in Inquisition, now her overly-girly manner grates on my nerves and I want to be mean to her. I can't, i have to be everyone's friend. In the end, I cannot decide anything, except the slight configuration of the final companion armour (why would I care, I don't know these people, I could not ask them a single question), and some slight cosmetic change regarding Solas - there is not even talk about tearing down the Veil. We've come full circle back to Mass Effect 3 and the groundbreaking decision we get to make is what colour the magic space beam is gonna have. Except, Mass Effect 3 was still a much better game, because you knew your crew - in this game, I have acutally no idea why Rook should lead anybody, why anybody would follow them, and why the literal fate of the world should be in the hands of this bunch of (after 100 hours of gameplay) near strangers. There ARE narrative work-arounds for this kind of shit; the writers just didn't care enough.

There are a hundred more small things I could say about this, about the story (Solas' prison was made of regret and he wanted to put Elgarnan there?? Who feels very good about everything he does?? Is he stupid? And then everyone is so impressed about Rook getting out to quickly, but seriously, what the fuck did Rook have to feel regretful about? They did not get to make a single decision. They did not order anyone to sacrifice themselves; they did not use people, or cities, as pawns in a war or whatever, BECAUSE THIS GAME HAS THE EMOTIONAL DEPTH OF A SMALLISH PUDDLE) and the in-game approach to the player (how often do i have to be told that i need to take care of my companions business?? This got so repetitive and made them seem like imcompetent children. Why wasn't there a better way to make me care, or better yet, trust the player to want to play this game), but I stop now. Fuck Bioware and EA.

#dragon age: the veilguard #veilguard spoilers #da: the veilguard #veilguard critical #bioware critical #long post #sorry

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its-your-mind · 3 days ago

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Something something timkon and hair and how lex lichrally programmed Kon to shave his head before he went all luthor and was forced to attack his team, his best friends, his family. and then how most of the hair on the back of Tim’s head got burned off when he got blowed up (thx Steph) and he had to cut or shave the rest of it off so it could grow back semi-evenly. and how kon was a #rebel esp compared to all-American Boy Scout Superman; Kon’s rockin around with the side cut and the leather jacket and the buckles and the spikes or the (ill-advised and made me sad) black t-shirt and jeans but even the “I am a totally normal bro” getup made him distinct and different from Kal and that is really important to Kon because he wants to be his own person, not a Superman-stand-in. and THEN fucking LEX made it so Kon would look more like Lex! his other DNA donor!!! And Tim!! He kept his hair short — just long enough to spike it up as Robin — until both of his parents were gone. which suggests to me that he kinda always wanted it long (hello Tim Drake, #1 Dick Grayson stan) but that just wasn’t an option allowed to him (not uncommon for parents who care Very Much about Appearances — my own parents were the same about my brothers’ hair growing up, not least because the private all-boys school they went to dictated that their hair couldn’t be long enough to touch the collar of their shirt (with exceptions for [insert kinda racist and vaguely xenophobic language here] hair styles). As soon as he turned 18 my baby brother got a rocker-style mane. But I digress. Anyway). Then, post-tragedy, Tim’s hair got long enough to flip down over his forehead and stream behind him when he swung through the city (perhaps one of his ways of clinging to control and his sense of self in the whole awful situation). But then… Tim got fucking exploded, betrayed by his ex-girlfriend who had only just returned after letting him grieve her death for a year, and now she’s following Tim’s dead father mentor’s instructions to challenge him or whatever the fuck bullshit Batman told her, (a young girl whose own father was an asshole criminal, who so desperately wanted Bruce to be proud of her) and now Tim has to cut his hair all the way down to the scalp again and listen. I’m sorry dc tim looks fucking amazing in adventure comics and I’m in love with how he is arted but hair cannot and does not grow back that quick!! Mf had to wait!! I bet it grew in fucking patchy!! I bet kon’s did too!! (prolly not as bad as Tim’s cuz Tim’s got scar tissue and shit.)

but I just think tim and kon deserve a chance to sit down and just commiserate with each other about growing their hair back out (growing back out a sidecut is a BITCH I speak from experience) and Tim’s prolly having to trim his own hair super often to keep it nice-ish while it comes back in, and Kon’s curls are just a fucking MESS until they grow out enough to like. Curl. (Again, speaking from experience) And they’re just shooting the shit (“well MINE was worse bc I looked like fucking LEX. LUTHOR.” / “well you didn’t have to wait to figure out which parts of your scalp we actually gonna bother growing hair again”) until it gets quiet for a minute. And then one of them asks if the hair also reminds the other one of The Shitty Thing That Happened. And then they fucking talk about it. About how they can’t look in the mirror without having a flashback of pain or rage. How it makes them feel like they don’t even get to control their own bodies, their own appearances, and how much that fucking sucks. How they go to run their hand through their hair and there’s just. Not enough of it to do that. How Kon is terrified that somehow looking like Lex means Lex will use him to hurt the people he loves again. How every time Tim sees another Bat or Bird looking at the back of his head, all he can think about is how they might be planning to lure him into another Bat-mandated trap test. How both Tim and Kon kinda really miss the feeling of people playing with their hair. How they miss playing with each others’ hair.

And maybe then one of them extends an offer and the other does the same and they agree to do each others’ hair. Maybe it’ll help paint a new layer over those awful memories.

So Kon finds Tim once a week (he’s never in the same place, he’s rarely even in the same country) and he trims the hair until it looks even, gives Tim the #sitch on how much hair is growing back in. After the second or third week he realizes that Tim’s not keeping up with his burn-care routine, so he starts bringing burn and scar cream with him too. Then he remembers Tim’s lack of a hair care routine and starts trying out different products on Tim’s hair to see what works best. Tim doesn’t say anything, but he thinks all of this feels even better than when Kon and Cassie used to twist little braids into his hair.

Kon insists that Tim doesn’t have to help until his hair’s grown out more, (that he doesn’t want Tim nearby and distracted while Kon still looks like Lex) but Tim outright refuses to let Kon push him away and he will NOT be outdone in the caretaking game. He waits until Kon’s busy fighting some giant alien robot in metropolis and sneaks in to the Kents’ house to scope out what products Kon uses. When he leaves the bathroom, Ma Kent is there, eyebrow raised. She tells him he “could have just knocked on the front door, sweetheart, we know how’ta keep secrets in this house. Now, let’s get some food in you before Conner comes home. You’re all skin and bones, hun.” So Tim goes downstairs and takes some mini meat pies for the road, and then researches the products Kon uses, what they do, what the ingredients do, if there are other (more expensive) options that people have sworn up and down are better. He amasses a collection, and the next time Kon shows up with clippers and healing creams and a new shampoo to try, Tim’s already got ten different products lined up on the sink — everything from shampoos and conditioners to serums and masks. Kon asks if these are things Tim wants Kon to use in Tim’s hair. Tim tells him that no, all of these are for Tim to try on Kon. Kon almost cries. (He does cry, he just doesn’t let the tears fall until Tim isn’t looking.) (Tim notices anyway ofc.) And Tim’s made a spreadsheet to track the effectiveness of different products, different ingredients, different combinations, so he tells Kon to start coming every 2-3 days instead, so he can establish results using a realistic timeframe. Sometimes, if Tim’s gonna be in one place for a few days, Kon just crashes with him. (Neither of them say it, but they both fucking CRAVE the old Core Four cuddle piles.) Eventually, when Kon’s hair is long enough that he’s ready to switch back to his side-cut again, Tim surprises him by not only shaving the hair down, but shaving a few racing stripes (“they’re flight patterns!” / “rob, I dunno what to tell you. everyone’s gonna think they’re racing stripes. doesn’t mean they aren’t dope as fuck, though.”) into Kon’s hair. Every time Kon’s hair grows out enough, Tim shaves it back and stencils in a new design. Kon starts making requests (“gimme the Super ‘S’!” / “It’s the House of El crest, Kon. You know that. Also, you have a secret identity to maintain.” / “C’mon, I’ll just say I’m a fan!” / “With the same El family crest shaved onto your scalp as Superboy?” / “No one’s noticed the identical head decor yet!”) but it’s the day Kon asks (with the same confident and mischievous tone as always) for Tim to shave in the Red Robin crest that something in Tim’s chest, something formless and warm that he hadn’t really paid attention to before, seers a burning path through his heart, takes root, and solidifies.

“Kon. I love you.”

Kon’s distracted, rifling through their hair-care bags for Tim’s razors. “Love you too, Robbie. Duh. That’s why I’m askin’ you to shave your cre–”

“No,” Tim shakes his head, mildly frustrated with himself for the lack of clarity. “I’m in love with you. I think I have been for a while.”

Kon is seated in the chair they’d pulled into the bathroom from the hotel room’s desk, so he has to look up to meet Tim’s eyes. The hand digging beneath sample bottles of leave-in conditioner freezes, still wrist-deep in hair products. Kon’s expression looks to Tim like one of his video games’ character builders froze between the settings for ‘bright smile’ and ‘shock and awe.’

So Tim just looks down at him. Waits. If this was anyone else, Tim would probably be losing his mind right now, but… it’s Kon. Tim’s safe. Kon would never do anything to hurt him.

Kon unfreezes, blinks a few times. “Could you–” he coughs. “Could you say that again? I think my brain maybe like, malfunctioned for a second.”

Tim takes a step closer, reaches out one hand to cup Kon’s cheek, scratches his fingertips through the stubble on the side of Kon’s head. “I’m in love with you, Conner Kent.”

Tears fill Kon’s eyes, and he blinks them away. “That’s– that’s what I thought you said.” His hand (the one not trapped beneath a sea of shampoos, some detached and unhelpful part of Tim’s mind remarks) comes up to gently rest on Tim’s hip. “Robbie, Tim, I– of course I’m in love with you. You– you’re– you’re amazing, you know that? You’re so kind and strong and you’re a genius and you’re a gift to everyone around you; I dunno how everyone else doesn’t see you like I do.”

Tim can’t help but reach out his other hand to wrap around the back of Kon’s head, to feel where the curls carve a path down through the shorter hair and come to a sharp point.

“I mean, damn Wonder Boy,” Kon tries to muster up his Superboy smirk, but the look in his eyes is full of too much genuine affection for him to pull it off. “I think I’ve been in love with you since Kauai, since you grabbed me outta free-fall and swung me to safety. You caught me. No one’d ever done that before. And then you just… kept doing it. You’re still saving me, still taking care of me.”

Kon reaches his other hand (no eruption of hairspray, thank you TTK, that same unhelpful part of Tim’s mind comments. Read the room! the rest of Tim yells at it.) around the back of Tim’s neck, avoiding the tender and scarred areas with practiced ease, and pulls Tim down until their foreheads touch.

“I love you, Wonder. I love you, Robbie.” Kon tilts his head up, waits until their eyes meet. He’s got the biggest smile on his face that Tim’s ever seen.

Tim smiles back, and Kon’s eyes soften. “I love you, Tim.”

Tim leans down and uses his hands on either side of Kon’s head to guide Kon’s lips up to his own.

This is what I want to remember, Tim thinks as he feels Kon’s fingers gliding softly against the sensitive skin of his burn, feels Kon’s TTK covering and protecting the parts still too tender to touch. Tim runs his own fingertips back and forth over the stubble on the sides of Kon’s head, before pushing them up until they’re tangled in Kon’s curls.

I don’t want to care anymore whether or not the people around me look at the back of my head and see weakness or failure. They don’t get to decide whether this mark on my body matters or what it means. I do. And I decide that these scars are important because they brought me here, to this moment. They brought me to Kon.

Kon tilts his head down to break the kiss. He stands up, and before Tim gets a chance to move away and give him space, Kon wraps his arms and TTK around him. He plants a kiss in Tim’s hair. “Damn, Wonder Boy. Having to grow all my hair back almost feels worth it if it got me here.”

Tim smiles and wraps his arms around Kon’s waist, nestles into Kon’s chest. “You know what, Clone Boy? I was just thinking the same thing.”

#hmm. this was supposed to be a meta post idk what happened.#(that’s a lie ik what happened what happened is I love timkon vv much)#anyway pls ignore timeline inconsistency if DC gets to fuck up their own timeline for story reasons then so can I #it’s about the queer need to have control of your appearance and how the world sees you #it’s about the intimacy of doing someone else’s hair care #it’s about being VULNERABLE by letting someone you love see and care for the parts of you you don’t like and/or can’t control #dcu #dc comics #tim drake #conner kent #kon-el #timkon #superboy/robin #superboy/robin: world’s finest three #world’s finest three #robin 181 #teen titans (2003) 24

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mixolya · 2 days ago

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beneath the stars, we became one: chapter 008.

(my) starboy

you couldn't deny the buzz of excitement in the air as you made your way to the stadium with ayane and milya. tokyo high's football match against one of the rival schools was the event of the season, and everyone was talking about it. your friends were already full of energy, chatting about the players, and milya had a mischievous grin plastered on her face when she kept bringing up rin.

"he's definitely gonna be the one to make the game-winning goal," milya teased, nudging you as you walked. "and then he's going to lock eyes with you, run to you and kiss you."

you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the sudden fluttering in your chest. "you wish! stop being so delusional, we're just project partners."

"yeah right, you played valorant with him the whole night last saturday," she shot back.

ayane, who had been quiet up until now, chimed in with a sly grin. "i mean, mi's not wrong. you don't just play valorant with someone for hours unless there's ... something."

"so you're not denying that there's something between you and nagi?", you grinned, leaning in.

ayane's grin faltered for a split second before she recovered, rolling her eyes. "nice try, but we're not talking about me and nagi."

milya jumped in, eyes gleaming with mischief. "oh, but we should! aya, anything you want to share?"

ayane scoffed, crossing her arms. "please, don't turn this around on me. we all know the real story here is y/nnie and her not-so-secret project guy."

"rin is not my 'not-so-secret' anything," you said firmly, though your protest only made them laugh harder.

"right, right," milya teased. "totally normal to spend hours gaming with someone and then show up to cheer him on at his match. super platonic."

you groaned, burying your face in your hands. "i’m literally here because you two wanted to watch the game."

ayane smirked. "and yet, your eyes keep searching for a certain someone on the field. what’s that about?"

"they don’t!" you protested, though you could feel the heat creeping up your neck.

you glared at them both as you sank lower into your seat. "can you two stop? seriously, it's not that deep," you giggled.

milya leaned forward, propping her chin on her hand with a teasing grin. "not that deep, huh? so, if i said rin's looking over here right now, you wouldn't care?"

your heart skipped a beat, but you refused to give them the satisfaction. "he's probably looking at the field, not us," you muttered, crossing your arms defensively.

ayane leaned back in her seat, throwing you a knowing look. "you're awfully quick to defend yourself."

you glanced at the field, trying not to make it obvious. sure enough, rin was in the middle of his warm-ups, passing the ball effortlessly to bachira. his sharp teal eyes scanned the field.

your gaze lingered a second too long, and milya's triumphant laugh pulled you back to reality. "caught you!" she sang, pointing at you.

"will you stop?" you hissed, cheeks burning. "i'm literally just ... watching. it's a public event. that's what people do at these things."

before milya could tease you again, a voice interrupted, pulling all of your attention. "what's this? y/n actually made it to a game?" reo smirked as he and nagi strolled over, both of them in their warm-up gear.

you sighed, already regretting not blending into the crowd. “don't act so surprised. there are no upcoming exams. people go watch games all the time."

nagi tilted his head, his usual sleepy demeanor intact. “but people don’t usually look as uncomfortable as you do right now.”

ayane laughed, nudging you. “it's her first game. go easy on her.”

reo grinned, eyes glinting with amusement. “first game, huh? don’t worry, y/n, you’ll leave here a football fan. maybe even a fan of a certain player.”

milya smirked, leaning closer. “yeah, someone specific comes to mind.”

“right,” you said dryly. “because this is clearly about football and not me being dragged here by you two.”

“dragged?” nagi cut in, tilting his head lazily. “didn’t look like you needed much convincing. what’s the matter, y/n? don’t like sports?”

“i like sports just fine,” you said, giving him a pointed look. “but watching you trip over your own feet during practice isn’t exactly inspiring.”

reo burst out laughing as nagi gave you a deadpan stare. “at least i’m out there playing,” nagi said, voice flat. “what do you even do for fun? knit sweaters?”

“that’s rich coming from someone whose idea of effort is streaming a game for six hours straight,” you raised your eyebrow.

nagi blinked slowly, unimpressed. “says the person who dies first in every game we play.”

“says the guy who didn’t know how to plug in his mic last week,” you fired back.

reo doubled over with laughter. “she’s got you there, nagi.”

“whatever,” nagi muttered, looking away, though you could see the faintest twitch of a smirk on his lips. “at least people actually want to watch me do something.”

“sure, if watching you fall asleep mid-stream counts as content,” you teased.

“hey, coach is calling us,” reo said, glancing back at the field as he straightened up. “we gotta head back.”

nagi stretches his arms. “alright, let's go then.”

“good luck,” ayane said, flashing them a quick smile.

“don’t screw it up,” you added.

reo smirked, throwing a quick wave over his shoulder. "like we ever would. see you after."

with that, he and nagi jogged back to the field, blending seamlessly into the swarm. the crowd grew louder as the announcer's voice echoed through the speakers, signaling the start of the game.

you leaned back in your seat, the excitement in the air almost contagious. the players began to take their positions, and your gaze searched the field until it landed on rin. he was near the center line, stretching one last time before settling into his spot as striker. his teal eyes calmly scanned the field, like he was already calculating his next move.

"you're staring again," ayane leaned closer.

"am not," you muttered, quickly looking away and pretending to adjust your jacket.

the referee's whistle cut through the chatter, and the game kicked off. your focus drifted back to the field as the players moved with practiced precision, but it was rin who held your attention the most.

he moved like he was born to be there - each step deliberate, every pass and run calculated. it wasn't flashy, but it was effective, and you couldn't help but admire him.

as the first half progressed, your heart skipped a beat when rin found himself with the ball near the opposing goal. his sharp turn left the defender confused, and with a clean, decisive strike, he sent the ball sailing into the net.

the crowd roared, and your section erupted in cheers. you, ayane and milya jumped to your feet, clapping and shouting as the energy in the stadium surged. rin turned toward the stands, his expression stoic, as his eyes scanned the crowd.

for a split second, they met yours.

you blinked, the noise around you fading for just a moment. there was something about the way his gaze lingered - was it concentration? as he turned away, you could've sworn you caught the faintest twitch of his lips, almost like a smirk.

"did you see that?" ayane's voice pulled you back to reality.

"see what?" you asked, trying to sound casual.

"bachira almost tackled rin to the ground," she said, pointing at the field. your eyes followed, landing on bachira, who had an arm slung around rin's shoulders, grinning as if he'd just won the lottery. the rest of the team quickly joined in, patting rin on the back.

rin stood in the middle of the chaos, his expression as stoic as ever, though something about the way he carried himself seemed lighter.

the final whistle blew, signaling the end of the game. tokyo high had won, and the stands erupted in cheers. players from both teams began shaking hands, but your eyes stayed glued to rin as he walked toward the sideline.

he was still unfazed, barely acknowledging the cheers, though his teammates surrounded him, congratulating him again. bachira jumped on his back, laughing, and even chigiri ruffled rin's hair, earning a sharp glare in return.

"should we head down?" milya asked, already gathering her things.

"yeah, let's go," ayane said, looking at you.

you followed them to the edge of the field, weaving through the celebrating crowd. as you neared your friends, you noticed rin, who now stood a few feet away with a towel draped around his neck.

"we'll go talk to reo," milya said, nudging ayane with a grin. "you go ahead."

with that, they turned to head toward reo, leaving you to make your way over to rin. when you reached him, his gaze flicked over to you.

"hey," you greeted casually, a small smile tugging at your lips.

"hey," rin replied, his tone neutral as he wiped the sweat from his face.

you shifted on your feet for a moment, unsure of how to start, but then you blurted, "you played really well out there. nice goal, starboy."

rin glanced at you, giving a small nod. "thanks."

you leaned against the railing next to him, looking out at the field where the rest of the team was celebrating. "seems like the team is really hyped," you commented with a grin.

"yeah, they get a bit carried away," he replied, his voice flat, though there was no annoyance behind it. he didn't seem too phased, just... relaxed.

"must feel good to win," you continued, keeping the conversation light.

"it's just another game," rin said, but his gaze softened ever so slightly. "still, it's nice."

you smiled, enjoying the easy flow of converesation. "sooo, are you free after this?" you asked, trying to sound casual.

rin glanced at you for a moment, a hint of surprise flickering across his face. "i'll text you," he answered.

you nodded, keeping your smile in place. "alright then, looking forward to it."

"yeah, me too," rin replied, his expression softening just slightly before he turned his attention back to his teammates, who were calling for him to join them.

"looks like they need you there," you said.

rin gave a brief nod, giving you one last look. "later," he said, before jogging over to join the group.

chapter 007 > here > chapter 009

back to masterlist ☆

my taglist is open <3

a/n: they take so long js kiss already

taglist: @byakgans @bluberrymochi17 @levihanmyotp @x3nafix @etojlee @chuuyalvover @reocidal @syarc0re @azinniyaa @vashyuu @rwbie

#mixolya!#itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin #rin #itoshi rin smau #rin itoshi smau #rin itoshi x reader #rin itoshi #rin itoshi imagines #itoshi rin imagines #bllk #bllk x reader #bllk smau #blue lock smau

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whentherewerebicycles · 3 days ago

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I am not really an avid Purchaser of Objects but periodically I like to take stock of things I’ve bought that turned out to be excellent quality or worth investing in. here are my favorites:

thousandfell’s women’s lace-up sneakers. vegan leather and insanely comfy. took them as my only pair of shoes on a very walking-intensive trip to japan and south korea and ended up exclaiming aloud many times “god I can’t believe how comfy these are!!” they’ve lasted two full years of heavy wear and are still going strong.

the LL bean women’s mountain classic anorak. this is the only jacket I have ever needed in the PNW. it’s insanely lightweight so it’s perfect for brisk but not too cold days (and also amazing for travel as it folds down so small), BUT it’s also roomy enough that you can layer a sweatshirt under it and comfortably wear it outside in temps as low as 35 degrees. it also has SO MANY HUGE POCKETS which means I can carry everything I need for the dogs and the baby in just my jacket lol. like literally i can fit a bottle and diapers and wipes in it. I own it in two colors and wear it every single day.

able’s mamuye leather tote. I believe this was a rec from sasha? I had been searching high and low for a bag that looked professional for work but was still casual enough to use as an everyday or travel tote too. I wanted something simple, durable, and high quality enough that I could use it for a really long time. I splurged for the kind with a zipper and it was worth it! the one change is I wish it came with an organizer or had a bit more built-in structure. I got a cheap one off amazon which works fine and gives it a nice shape, but idk I might eventually buy the one they sell specifically for this bag. I love this bag so much that every time I see it I gasp inwardly at how beautiful it is and how fancy yet low-maintenance it looks. I think your favorite objects should be so beautiful to you they make your heart happy when you see them and this bag definitely qualifies.

karina dresses. the prints can be hit or miss and sell out pretty fast so you have to jump on the new collection releases when they email you. but almost every work dress I own is from this company and I love them so much. they’re super well made, flattering, and cut in a way that makes them very forgiving if your body (like mine) tends to fluctuate up and down in weight a lot. they are so forgiving that I didn’t have to buy any new maternity clothes for work—I just wore these through my whole pregnancy. the one thing that might not work for everyone: they’re made from a synthetic fabric, which means they never wrinkle and hang-dry very quickly, but also idk I do prefer the feel of cotton or linen or another more breathable natural fiber.

speaking of natural fibers: I also purchased a few skirts and a dress from pact (organic cotton basics) and I really like them so far but don’t yet know how they’ll hold up over time! so they get an honorary mention for now.

the thomasville tisdale sectional. this is the greatest couch ever made. I evangelize for it every opportunity I get. it’s so comfy and so gigantic. you can rearrange the modular pieces to form a very comfortable queen-sized bed if you don’t have a spare room or if you just want to have a really cozy movie night. I’ve had it for three years and it gets a lot of wear and tear with the dogs but it still looks and feels SO nice. plus it’s costco and their insane return policy means that if it falls apart in five years (it won’t) I could almost certainly still take it back and get a full refund. best! giant! couch! ever!!!!

ok that’s it lol everything else I own apart from art and quirky sentimental objects is kinda junk, or is just Fine but not worth writing home about. do you own high quality objects or clothing that you love recommending to other people? if so I want to hear about it.

#I am trying to get better at buying a nice thing once #instead of a crappy thing four times bc it disintegrates after 20 uses #this can be challenging bc sometimes something is expensive but STILL garbage #like my Hokas which were great for three months #and then like #started disintegrating #and now have huge holes in them #but I will wear them until I feel I’ve gotten my money’s worth goddammit

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jarvewrites · 2 days ago

Note

Heuss Your team 7 headcanons were so good honestly could I request team seven and sibling headcanons? Like how’d they treat their younger sibling?? Ty!

team 7 younger sibling headcanons!

hey there, thanks for the request! i just love sibling headcanons they are so cute and full of fluff. thanks for your support and kind words🌷 i'm glad you enjoyed the headcanons!!

characters : naruto uzumaki, sakura haruno, uchiha sasuke

gn!reader

naruto uzumaki

— so let's say that naruto did have a younger sibling! he would absolutely treasure you, as he would consider them his very first friend. both of them had to go through hard times, such as being unaccepted by other people and misunderstood, but naruto is always here for his sibling, making sure that no one dares to belittle his own blood, even if that means getting humiliated himself.

— in their childhood naruto would spend a lot of time with his sibling and make sure that they never feel that lonely void in their soul. so lots of playing with toys, pretending to be ninjas on a mission, dreaming about their perfect world, where naruto becomes the hokage and he makes sure that every one of your wishes come true!

— supportive elder brother. he would always be glad to hear about your dreams and aspirations, no matter how silly they may sound. «you need to work hard for it!» naruto would definitely remind that to you, as it's important to never give up

— he would try to train them to make sure that they can protect themselves(even though naruto as a kid wasn't a master, he sure did try at least!)

— he's a kind - hearted guy, he always means well for his sibling, but due to lack of knowledge he would make mistakes, such as feeding you mostly ramen(since in naruto's eyes ramen is the best thing ever, he would obviously share it with his little sibling!)

— i can see naruto talking about his crush on sakura with a huge smile on his face! i like to think that naruto and his sibling would be super close, as they got no one but each other.

— as he got older, he definitely was more mature than a kid naruto, but still as outgoing and loud as ever. his dream of becoming a hokage is coming closer and if he sees you accomplishing your goals as well he would cheer for the whole village!

— but there would be teasing as well. sometimes naruto would call you some absurd and silly nicknames or sometimes pretending to act like the all - mighty master(jiraya)

—naruto is confident in you, so when he goes for a 3 year training with the old sage, he doesn't doubt your skills and believes that you can get by

— don't tell anyone, but he would secretly ask sakura to check on you from time to time to make sure that you are alright

— naruto is short - tempered so i can see his sibling knowing his weak spots and purposely hitting them to tease him, like talking about his crush on sakura and imitating how he tries to impress her

— so in short, naruto is nice, sometimes annoying, but always supportive elder brother who loves to tease you, but would never let anyone belittle you for who you are

sakura haruno

— your role model

— sakura is one the prime examples of inner growth and confidence. though she was pretty insecure as a kid, i imagine you always hyping her up, as she was one of the coolest people you knew. pretty, smart and just so cool!

— over time as sakura learned to love herself, she decided to never let you go trough the same thing, so she would always compliment your outfits, how accurately you threw your shiruken and praising you for passing your exams

— as a medic, she definitely takes care of the psychical wounds here in the house, but she's a great listener as well. whenever you have a problem, you can always count on sakura, she will listen and give you an honest and blunt advice, but with affection of siblings

— no matter how well do siblings get along, they still bicker at times. sakura and you are no exceptions. both of you usually argue about something insignificant, like who gets into the shower first, who washes the dishes, who takes out the trash, who never cleans up after themselves and so on

— i can imagine your parents' brains exploding from constant argues

— but the good thing is, you guys make up pretty fast! usually sakura tries to make up with some homemade pie(i just love sakura baking headcanon) if the argument gets too far

—she would give you great lessons on the whole dating world and she is a great gossip buddy as well! i'm pretty sure you guys have a gossip session with some sweets on saturday evening after sakura comes home from training all exhausted and wanting to just relax

—just like naruto, she would never let anyone talk bad about you. yes, she might complain sometimes about something you have done that annoys her, but god forbid if someone actually agrees with her and says that her sibling is a nightmare!

—«excuse me, only i can say that! take it back, shannaro!!»

— sakura is also that kind of sibling to always remind you to wear your jacket, scarf and hat if it gets too cold and tells you that you will get sick otherwise. of course, most of the time you don't take it seriously, before actually getting sick. sakura did some tea for you before preparing the medicine while she shook her head sighing «i told you to be careful!»

— overall, sakura is this cool older sister who helps you find your own style, sometimes makes your life miserable by nagging about the dishes, but always comes first whenever you are in help.

sasuke uchiha

— i can see him with a twin sibling that's younger than him by 5 seconds or a younger sibling with a 1-2 age difference

— sasuke before and after the massacre is a complete different person who behaves differently, so i think i should divide them

— sasuke before massacre is obviously a happy kid with his family and most importantly, his favorite elder brother. but just like sasuke looks up for itachi, you would admire him as well! which would make sasuke a bit competitive at times, but with good intentions

— since you and sasuke are about the same age, you guys would hang out a lot, since itachi is busy with training and missions, mikoto has tons of housework and fugaku is the head of the clan and the police, so i'm sure there's tons of paperwork waiting for him at his desk

— sasuke would train with you, but unlike with naruto, he would be much more serious about it. he would try out Itachi's tactics, sometimes mimicking him, which would just make you laugh.

— «next time..»

— there would be tons of competition. from training with itachi, to who folds the clothes better(mikoto made up that game so that kids would get used to housework as they get older, which worked!)

— those competitive games actually made both of you skilled and smart, which got you to get admired by many. some called you «the uchiha duo» because you were always together and your techniques blended well.

— obviously, everything changed with this tragic event, that definitely left both of scarred forever. now you had one another against this cruelty. sasuke changed, so did you. he stopped smiling, became more serious with his training, treated you with a distance

— but sasuke is still a sweetheart, who just shows his affection differently, more subtly. he would never say anything in words, but his actions show more. like he would give the best piece of meat to you, smirking with pride as he sees you training and thinking about your safety while you are on a mission. he makes the breakfast for both of you while you get up for the academy, makes sure you don't fall behind.

— sometimes you would meet up with his teammates that sasuke was so grumpy about at first. you were glad that he has found his own people and hoped that this would continue.

— sasuke wouldn't want to lose you, so other than revenge, his other goal for becoming stronger is to protect you from danger. he would never forgive himself if anything horrible happened to his last remaining relative.

— you guys would usually train together just to make each other stronger. but sometimes there is need for some peace and quietness, so you would just make some tea and talk about your day before slowly drifting to more subtle hints about the future, the past and the present. sasuke knows his path will differ from yours.

— when he goes over to orochimaru, sasuke doesn't let you come with him, as he knows this is too dangerous and understands orochimaru's motives.

— while revenge eats his alive, you, as his sibling would obviously be worried about his condition that seemed to get worse, so you tried to save him, multiple times, before finally with the help of team 7 saving sasuke and him coming back to the village

— even though so much history has happened between you, nothing made your bond weaker. sasuke is an elder brother who won't seem that affectionate at first, but it takes more to an eye to notice his love and affection for his younger sibling. also, he would make an omelette with tomatoes for breakfast, there i said it.

thanks for reaching this far! i took me a while to think about this whole scenario, but honestly i enjoyed it a lot! if you liked the post, make sure to like and reblog. thanks! 🌷

#j☃️#naruto #naruto headcanons #naruto fluff #naruto x reader #sakura haruno #sakura haruno headcanons #sakura haruno x reader #sasuke uchiha #sasuke uchiha headcanons #sasuke uchiha x reader #sasuke fluff #sakura haruno fluff #sasuke uchiha fluff

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linearao3 · 2 days ago

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I don’t have a new Publish or Perish chapter and probably won’t any time super soon because I am very tired and also I hate that I am being accidentally Relevant due to H-1B Discourse. So please accept this tiny little interstitial — probably the only Kaz POV I will provide for this fic. You could say there are spoilers but I think it’s more like foreshadowing? This might not even be canonical to the fic. Who can say. But please enjoy.

—

He reaches for the phone out of habit, because that’s what he does now at night, look and see if Inej has texted him. And yes, she did just leave, but you never know.

She hasn’t texted. She just left; of course she hasn’t.

He thinks vaguely that he might have read somewhere that you should ask people to text you when they get home safely. He can’t remember if this was etiquette advice, or a devious way of making sure they kept thinking about you.

He’d had some notion, in his head, that after he kissed her, she might turn in the doorway and close her hand around his jaw, pull him down to kiss her. She is so warm, and her mouth is warmer, and he imagines — imagines too much, with too much of his time and too much presumption that he’ll ever find out — that it’s even warmer than that in her cunt.

He’s jealous of the stupid toy. He’s so smug that she likes it.

He types

Sex is so strange. I had all these notions of what I wanted to do, and I didn’t do any of them, and what I did do feels like the only good thing that has ever happened to anyone ever. That’s how I felt when you came to my office, too.

He never texts her first. He likes knowing she chose to start it, that she wants it. That she’s lying in bed thinking about him. He keeps typing.

The thing is that my brother died. And that’s the only thing that ever happened to me, really.

He’s forty — okay, no, he’s not forty, but he feels like he ought to be forty — and he’s tried to have sex exactly twice before now, once with Jesper and once with Imogen and they were both so disastrous he tries not to think about it. But he’s forty or thirty or whatever and he’s coming to the end of his debt and he will take care of Rollins soon, soon, pull out the brick of Marya Van Eck and everything will crumble. And then he’ll just be — a professor, he supposes. A professor with a good salary who could get stupid nice small things and could have friends over for dinner and could have a girlfriend. Because why shouldn’t he? Except that there’s a gaping savage maw where his heart ought to be.

I do still want to fuck you. I bought some condoms. I imagined you putting one on me, like a horny sex ed class with Dr. Ghafa, and I’d be so hard in your hand.

He jerked off before she came, with the idea that he might last longer when she was actually there, and he doesn’t know if he can physically manage three in a night but his body seems interested in trying it.

He was never really a teenager, he thinks— he woke up in the hospital whatever thing he is now, which wasn’t a child and has maybe never been an adult — so maybe now he’s doing adolescence as a crash course, an intensive study in constant graceless horniness and short-sighted stupidity.

You’re never going to forgive me. I want you to. You shouldn’t. It’s just that I’m selfish. If you asked me I’ll say that it’s because I promised you but it’s really because I just want to be able to see you sometimes. I want to be able to give you things. I’m not going to send this. I just got so used to telling you things. You are so beautiful and I want you so much and I am so tired. I’m going to sleep. Sleep well, Inej. Come and talk to me.

He force-quits the chat application, drops the phone, and falls asleep. He dreams Inej smiles, bright and vicious and righteous, and tells him he did everything just right.

#publish or perish #kanej fic

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blueishspace · 3 days ago

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Hero, Villain God 47

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Grian's pov*

You run back to your apartment, you do not appreciate having to do this at all. You had a whole thing pre-planned and they ruined it for you!

Creating an outfit is not the hard part, you can do that pretty easily with the snap of a finger but no matter how oblivuous Scar might be he's still definitely going to question it were you to arrive with an outfit that looks professionally made. You don't think you could justify it without being called out...

...So of course you have to also make it look homemade, like it was made with stuff you had around the apartment in half an hour, what an un-cute start to your sidekick career.

You settle on a pink and blue hoodie and a mask, not the best outfit but you did what you had to to make it look legit... On theme but not outlandish enough to be questioned. And if it is questioned... you'll deal with that later when it becomes a problem.

...And with that you are just in time to pick Hotguy up and make it to Las Nevadas before the commotion ends.

"Cuteguy? Is that?"

"Yep, not my ...first choice but it will have to do... So how do I look?"

"You look like a vigilante when, dressed like that"

"That's hardly my fault Hotguy."

"... Yeah, I know"

...

"You didn't answer, how do I look?"

"Great! I mean, not that you usually look not great, you always look good! But it fits you really well- it looks cool I mean hot I mean...good???"

"Are you.. ok?"

"....I'm... I'm just really tired."

... You can relate with that, a lot has happened in the span of a few hours... especially for you.

"Yep"

"... Sooo, are you ready for your debut?"

"Unfortunately"

"Oh C'mon It's going to be... great?"

He can't even manage to sound like he believes it, zero out of ten encouragement here...one out if ten, at least he's trying.

"So...uh...let's go!"

And he just books it! You are having deja-vu to when Flame did this exact same thing when you met him the first time. What's with super powered people and running away randomly?

"I see how it is Hotguy!"

And you spread your wings and fly to him.

As you approach Las Nevadas you hear the sound of sirens, you forgot about those. In hindsight you really should have thought of the attention a group of notorious villains fighting a group of vigilantes in front of a major casino and hotel would garner, oh well.

You look towards Scar, he is... slightly upset, clearly this is bigger then he expected...you wonder just how little the hero association actually knew and how little of that they actually told him. Considering past presedent you don't have very high hopes.

You kinda wish he would just stop being nice, go a bit apeshit even, for once and tear into them...is that how you use the phrase? You heard Martyn say it during the movie marathon and it definitely fits your opinion on the matter...either way, you really wish he would do something like that even though it probably would cause problems it would also be very satisfying to watch...like Legally Blonde! Nice reference, you learned so much today, you are so proud of yourself.

You land down near the chaos, on top of one of the nearby building, Quackity is gone because he must have chosen to be smart about it and left in the confusion... Flame is currently fighting Xonorth, Worm man is dealing with the Doctor, Seraphin with Mot and you are fighting with you...This is going to get confusing real soon.

You hear Hotguy sighs from your left, you turn towards him, his expression is even more unconfortable then it was earlier.

"This isn't..."

"Well, what now Hotguy?"

"I don't... The association sent us after the vigilantes ..."

You can sense the doubt in bis tone, is he having second thoughts.

"But?"

"I don't think we should target them, we should get the villains...?"

"Uh?"

You turn fully to him.

"T-that makes more sense right? Villains...villains are worse then vigilantes so...they should be the one we get??"

"Makes sense to me?"

"So..."

"So we are working with vigilantes? Even though that's the opposite of what the hero association said?"

"..."

He's silent for a few moments, before you can try to spur him on he steps foward.

"I think so... Just this once."

"Sounds good to me, I'm right behind you."

He turns towards you and smiles, then he jumps into the fray and you follow suit immediately after.

It's a bit much controlling three bodies at once but you think you manage it pretty well! Mother Spore dodges a swipe to the left, Poultryman trows an egg at a guy on the right, Cuteguy slashes a tendril in half... All in all you would say you are doing pretty well.

Chaos is your domain and this almost all vs all is refreshing and sweet and invigorating! Still It's different from how you normally view your domain, usually It's more detached, more uninteresting...but being in the middle of it? Extremely confusing and doubly as entertaining. You get lost in the confusion in the best possible way.

Cuteguy jumps on Mot and Mother Spore summon a mushroom wall around herself and Poultryman uses his wings to deck Paroh. You jump from side to side, fly and swipe and dash and at one point you even do a backflip from no reason other then because It sounded fun and you had no reason not do it...

After a while all the fighting does start to meld together as you get more lost in it, to be fair It's been a while since you have been able to do something like this so you end up being very intense about it-

...

And then you hear a strangled cry and everything goes quiet. You turn. All three of you turn towards the noise, the world itself almost wraps in vortex as you hear a scream of someone very familiar.

You turn and you see a tendril, one of Xonorth's... It's passing right trough Scar's heart, you can see his suit darken around the point in which the tendril makes contact with flesh, you look as crimson blood begins to coat the appendage. You turn and for a second it is silence...And then everything stops.

*End of Chapter 9*

#trafficblr #traffic smp #hermitblr #hermitcraft #grian #goodtimeswithscar #hero villain god au

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thepigeonhasapen · 9 hours ago

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🦇SFW A-Z: Eddie Munson🦇

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Uber snuggly very physically affectionate cuddlebug. Eddie is always hanging off his friends and you're no different. Absolute nuisance about it though. Constantly playing with your hair or climbing on you or picking you up or poking you or tickling you. Undiagnosed ADHD king and always looking for something to fidget with. Sometimes (often) that thing happens to be his friends. Will generally back off if he's told no but not for long. Often has a tendency to forget that he can be a lot.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

As a friend, Eddie is already ride or die so you can just imagine what he's like as your bestie. Tends to be extra clingy and will always catch up with you between periods even if his next class is way the fuck on the other side of the building. Can and will hunt you down if you don't come and eat lunch with him. As his best friend, you get treated to exclusive jam sessions and discussions about D&D. That last bit's non-negotiable, sorry. Whether or not you play, Eddie is going to use you as a sounding board for bouncing ideas off of. You're also quite lucky because, being so close to him, Eddie lets you see the softer side of himself and not just the bold persona he puts up for the rest of the world. You'll need a strong personality to match his own if you hope to vibe with him and he'd absolutely adore that you can dish out as much as you take. Lots of flirting, jokingly or otherwise. The kind of relationship where people genuinely get confused on whether or not you're dating.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Your best bet for snuggling with Eddie is to put on a movie he likes or catch him when he's sleepy. Eddie's huge on physical affection but he's also a public menace and will pester anyone in touching range. If he doesn't have some sort of distraction, cuddles will very quickly turn into wrestling or tickling.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

My man hasn't even graduated, give him a minute! Maybe in the very distant future? Honestly, he hasn't even given it much thought to what he wants to do with his life, never mind what he's going to do when he gets old!

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He just wants it over with. Assuming it was because he fell out of love, Eddie would feel super guilty about leading them on. He wants it done quick and easy but he can't work up the courage to actually go through with it so he probably just... avoids them. This man isn't even twenty-five yet, do you think he's going to be at all emotionally mature? He acts cold and distant until confronted, at which point he will ashamedly let on what his problem is. After the break up, Eddie is cautious but willing to let things return to the way things were before the relationship, you just have to push through his weird vibes until he mellows out again.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Hasn't really given it much thought to be honest. Eddie is deeply committed to his relationships and would never cheat on his partner but marriage? He hasn't thought about it. Would likely defer to whatever his partner wanted. If they want to get married? Sick. If they don't? Also cool, doesn't mean he cares for them any less.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Eddie is a nice complicated soup of contradictions. He's blunt but he's kind. He can be mean but he can also be incredibly sweet. Eddie will roughhouse but he'd never actually hurt someone. His friends anyway. He would cut a bitch if someone else started it. As you get closer to him or if you're nice to him or if you're just a nervous person in general, Eddie will let his coarser outer shell slip. He can be a bastard but he (mostly) knows when to pull his punches.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Probably won't initiate them, but absolutely loves receiving them. Unlikely to give hugs in public but behind closed doors, Eddie gets really clingy. If he's upset, he will bury his face in your neck and hold you just a little tighter.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Platonically, Eddie has a lot less reservations. If he's swept up in his emotions (or high), he's a lot more willing to just let whatever's in his head slip out. Most likely to save it for extreme circumstances like dying if you brought his homework to him and it's due like right now and he needs this last assignment to graduate or else he'll fail again. Romantically, Eddie is a good deal more shy about it. He doesn't want to move too fast or overstep and push you away. Praying you'll say it first, but if you don't, he'll let it slip by accident at some point anyway. Either he's high off his ass or he's just caught up in a burst of strong feelings, but it'll get out before he can stop it. After he says it for the first time, he just never stops. Tends to save it for private moments between the two of you, but Eddie will tell you he loves you every chance he gets.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Despite his outwardly cocky persona, Eddie is actually quite self-conscious. He gets hurt very easily if his friends choose to spend time with other people over him, but he can mostly hide his feelings about it. His jealousy might manifest in a few snide remarks about the person in question and, if he's feeling really petty, something bad happening to your character in D&D. Mostly, though, he manages to keep it to himself. However this immediately goes out the window for a romantic partner. Someone flirting with you? Yeah, sorry, you now have an Eddie surgically attached to you for the rest of the evening. He's not extremely possessive but he is also rubbing up against you like a cat marking their person so take that as you will.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Eddie's a dramatic bitch. He lives for kissing the back of your hand like he's some gallant knight who just vanquished a dragon for you. He may also get down on one knee to do it if he's feeling particularly whimsical. Not to say Eddie isn't capable of giving other kisses. He loves kissing you on the mouth and on your cheeks and on your forehead and in your hair and on your neck and pretty much everywhere within reach. Gives the most kisses when he first wakes up and he's all sleepy and silly.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Kids love Eddie. Eddie does not care for kids. Anything below high school age is on thin fucking ice. As he gets older, I feel like he'll grow to like and even want kids of his own, but for the moment he's still in that "too cool to hang out with children" stage of his life. Eddie, bestie, you practically are a children.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Slow. Eddie doesn't go to bed until like midnight so, assuming he woke up that morning at all, he's going to spend the first hour or so in a cranky half-asleep fugue state. When he first wakes up, he's very sweet and cuddly... until he actually has to get out of bed. Has said some very unkind things to the toaster during his mid-morning tantrums.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

If he had a choice, he'd be exclusively nocturnal so it probably won't be spent sleeping. His uncle works the night shift so he doesn't really concern himself with keeping the volume low (despite his neighbours' desire to kill him dead) and will definitely try to entice you to stay up and blare heavy metal with him. Usually has a smoke in the evenings before bed because it helps to settle his mind.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Anyone pretty much knows Eddie's deal from the first minute they meet him. A bold, loud, and opinionated motor mouth, Eddie refuses to even pretend to be one of the normies. He's is pretty forthcoming with his thoughts and feelings so generally all it'll take to get information out of him is a simple question, assuming you can't already guess from the way he's acting. There are certain things he does keep to himself though, things that you won't get out of him unless he's in a really bad place emotionally. Because he's failed to graduate so many times he feels really self-conscious about his intelligence, but won't ever admit it until it's bothering him so bad he's actively having a mental breakdown about it.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Eddie doesn't get mad really. Irritated, annoyed, or perturbed sure, but the most you'll ever get out of him is a slightly raised voice. Holds a grudge but also forgives easily, so long as he receives what he considers an adequate apology. His definition of adequate will fluctuate wildly depending on the severity of the crime. Spill something on him? That's cool, accidents happen. Miss a D&D session? May the fires of Hell have mercy on you because Eddie certainly will not. You better get down on your knees and BEG for that man's forgiveness because he's not letting that shit go unless you were like in the actual hospital. And even then he's very lowkey like I know you had appendicitis but can you maybe schedule that better next time? Maybe consider how this affects me.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Eddie has a memory like a steel trap (see: remembering the clothes Dustin and Mike were wearing when he met them, and also that he learned Master of Puppets on the guitar in like two weeks considering how long the song would've been out at the time.) Unfortunately, that memory only kicks in when he's super engaged with something... or just at absolute random. Eddie will recall the strangest shit about you. He'll remember what your pencil case looks like and what your favorite arcade game is and the exact spot you held hands with him for the first time, but what day your date's at? Uh.... Eddie better be scribbling that on his arm real quick or else it is absolutely gonezo. Has probably stood you up at least once and felt super bad about it because he legitimately forgot you two were going to hang out. He feels awful about it, he just struggles with keeping things straight in his head. Forgive the poor boy please, he's trying his best :(

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Help him study and Eddie will be your best friend for life. He struggles so hard to keep his grades up and he just wants to be OUT of this damn school already. If you help him do that? Eddie is over the moon. He appreciates you attempting to explain concepts in a way he understands or gently steering him back on task. If he wasn’t ride or die for you before, while he certainly is now. He also lowkey loves the way pencil smudges and pen ink look on your hands, and he may or may not get distracted staring at them more than a few times.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Eddie is extremely protective over his friends and he displays it by way of making himself a target instead. He's bold and loud to draw attention away from other people, taking all the bullying and cruelty onto himself. Eddie hates seeing his little flock get hurt and will always step in to protect them. He feels devastated and awful if any of his friends get hurt despite his efforts. Most people tend to view his behavior as Eddie just being Eddie, and it is mostly, but they don't often think about just how often Eddie plants himself square in the firing line. Eddie doesn't even consciously think about it, it's just something he does, so imagine his surprise when you stand up for him. He loves knowing you have his back and feels absolutely giddy having you there. Eddie will mostly rely on intimidation factor because he honestly kinda crumples like wet tissue paper in a fight, so if you can throw a punch, he's gonna fucking fall in love with you right that minute. Seeing someone else initiate will also bolster Eddie’s courage and he'll probably get physical too. After a few seconds of staring at you with wide-eyed adoration because oh my god you just punched a guy for him!

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Eddie is a man of extremes. It's either all or nothing with him. He agonizes over gifts until he finds the perfect one, will plan special occasions down to the smallest detail, but also tends to be super lax about dates. Eddie just likes to hang out on them. He doesn't need anything special to do that with you, he just needs you.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Eddie's a true sweetheart at his core, but he's also a bit of an asshole. He's rude and brusque when he's upset, but at least you can generally tell what's upsetting him. He's also a total snob, looking down on anyone he considers a normie. By default, cold to people he can't immediately clock as one of the freaks. Frequently inconsiderate about hobbies he doesn't share, i.e. basketball. A complete elitist about metal culture and probably looks down on battle jackets that don't contain strictly band patches/pins.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Eddie's not vain per se, but he does definitely care about his outward appearance. He doesn't outright preen in front of the mirror but all of his clothes are chosen to match a certain aesthetic. He likes the way he looks and he dresses that way on purpose, but he's also not like putting a whole lot of effort into it, yknow? He takes pride in the way he looks but not to the extent that I'd call him vain. About average level of liking to present himself the way he wants to.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Now I'm not saying Eddie goes into a depressive spiral upon a break up, but I'm also not NOT saying that. Eddie loves with his whole heart and is quite thoroughly devastated when his feelings aren't returned. He'll try to brush it off and play it cool, like it's not a big deal, but he's also playing sad songs on his guitar and laying in a limp puddle on his bed so take that as what you will.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Secretly loves chess but won't tell his friends because like... that's nerd shit. And Eddie’s a freak not a nerd, c'mon. He's not one of those super smart, straight-A geeks, he's cool and he's edgy and sure he likes tabletop games but not LAME ones likes chess and checkers. Plays his Uncle as often as he can even though Eddie wins pretty much all the time.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Conformity. Eddie hates people that aren't weirdo freaks. Be too typical for him and he's barely giving you a second glance. But to be fair, he can deal with boring. He won't like it but he can play nice if he has to. The real thing that gets on his nerves is bullies. Eddie despises people who pick on others and he'll make sure they know it. Being needlessly cruel to someone in front of Eddie is a good way to piss him right off.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Eddie sleeps like a nightmare. He talks in his sleep, he drools, he gets the absolute worst case of bedhead every night no exceptions, he kicks, and on top of it all he rolls himself in the blankets like a burrito. It's not like you can wake him up either because that boy sleeps DEEP. But it might just be worth it in the end, because every morning Eddie will wake up just enough to wrap around you like an octopus and mumble sleepy words of affection into your skin. His big brown Bambi eyes are still so dopey with sleep that you're not entirely sure he's actually fully conscious but that just make his ooey-gooeyness all the sweeter actually. He'll say yes to anything you say right now, to the extent that you could probably convince him to shave his head, move up to the mountains, and become a monk. But maybe don't do that. Maybe just convince him to make you breakfast instead. (Actually don't do that either, he'll light the trailer on fire.)

#stranger things #headcanons #eddie munson #x reader #eddie munson x reader #sfw alphabet

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