#Story: Mother's Love
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candace flynn the biggest mamas girl on planet earth
#drawing#art#digital art#candace flynn fanart#candace flynn#phineas and ferb#phineas and ferb fanart#fanart#doodle#there was this one time my brother who is 12 years younger than me was watching p&f#and turned to my mother (i wasn’t here my mother told me this story)#and was like#mom if you think about it thursday is really just like candace#and so i’ll be both digging my own grave & lying in it till i decompose and ordering a custom shirt that says just like candace flynn on it#i love candace fr#like honestly tho those boys are operating heavy machinery like they’re literally 13#my brothers 12 and i get scared when he bakes cookies by himself
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the modern villainisation of demeter will never cease to enrage me bc it wasn’t ENOUGH to just take a story of a girl being torn from her home from everyone who loved her and dragged away to be forced into marriage and twist and corrupt it until it was a romance story about female empowerment that wasn’t ENOUGH they HAD to take the original hero of the story the mother who went to every length to find her daughter again to bring her home and demonise her character until she was this horrific overbearing unloving mother. overprotective controlling without love. they turn the story of her grief at her YOUNG daughter being torn from her without her knowledge into the story of a misunderstood bad boy and a horrible cruel mother who won’t give him a chance and i really find it sickening. it’s ironic, that the ever misogynist age of hellenistic greece, has a better grasp of how disgusting and horrifying this situation was that a modern, self proclaimed ‘feminist’ era.
#ovids version made me cry#imagine you’re just a nymph watching your friend torn away from you by the literal king of the dead#and despite knowing how powerless you are against him you still choose to stand up to him#to stand up for your friend#imagine being so torn apart by the grief of losing her you weep yourself to death#imagine turning that story into a good girl/bad boy romance#weird#anyway#the story of persephone is personal to me#bc i wish my mother loved me like that#demeter was a good mother#you all suck for portraying her as anything less#idc if you disagree#‘oh myth is open to interpretation and reinterpretation’#okay. well i don’t care.#there’s such thing as bad interpretations#making demeter the villain is a bad one#making hades a misunderstood protagonist is also a bad one
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respost separated from the og post bc I really liked this silly little thing I made
And a little extra of my own
little binghe has a goal in this life and it only gets worse once he mets sqq, no one dares to threaten his position as sqq's future wife, he literally was born to be his spouse!!
#scum villain's self saving system#svsss#sillies#bingqiu#人渣反派自救系统#svsss fanart#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#tianlang jun#I like to think little bunhe asked his father to let him write letters to his misterious future husband#to get to know him more before their wedding#and tlj hopeless romantic that he is of course says yes#zzl! go for a reliable mailman of the court!#so one day sqq still is on the way to become peak lord and start recieving letters apparently from tlj's child???#so weird but eeh its okay its a way to check on how the protagonist is doing!#so he displays his full autistic caring mother rizz on those letters#and binghe swoons everytime he reads his poetry#and his tales about monsters and artifacts and some weird stories sqq makes up for him#(he is telling him about anime)#idiots in love#binghe thinks they are courting from distance#sy thinks he has a very adorable pen pal#sxy is in the corner probably keeping an eye on everthing to be sure her son is safe#tlj is living this arranged marriage like a telenovela
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No time to play. You are being sent away.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#yu ziyuan#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#Do you know how hard it was to *not* do a 'Sold To One Direction' spoof comic? It took nearly all my will power.#Mostly because it misaligns a little too far off from the canon events and vibes.#But sit with me for a moment. Consider it:#“BEEP BEEP BEEP. I threw my pillow at my alarm clock. ”Wei Wuxian get your lazy ass downstairs!“ Yu Ziyuan yelled.#I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror to see my grey orbs staring back at me.#I put my long straight black hair in a ponytail with a red ribbon.#I went downstairs to see my adoptive mother holding a bottle of vodka and a cigarette.#'Listen up whore! I need money to pay the bills so I sold you. Your new owners will be here any minute so go pack!'#I stormed upstairs. There was no way I was going to let her sell me to a creepy old man!#I decided to run away. Since I'm not like other girls I don't have very many friends.#My gay friend Lan Zhan was mean but he lived like a block away.#As I opened the door I saw Wen Chao blocking the door. 'Ello Love. We're your new owners!'#I rolled my eyes and pushed him. 'Aren't you from that stupid Wen Sect? There's no way in hell I'm going with you!'#Hey again. It's me the OP of this blog taking a pause. I haven't actually read this story before aside from the memes#and I am honestly reeling from how this watpad fic chapter ends. What do you mean one of the one direction boys chloroforms her???#Chapter 2 is so much worse#Why is there such a strong focus on the *eyes* of every boy!!!#This fanfic is a horror story actually. I came into it trying to make a funny parody but I got in over my head. Dear God.#It's me again. Several minutes have passed and I'm on chapter 4. What the FUCK is going on here?#I feel like I opened up pandora's box hoping for a fun little treat and got the plauge upon me. Dont read this fic.
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✨Merry Christmas and happy holidays ✨
Initially meant to draw art of the actual nutcraker tale but I blinked and this happened. Anyway, I'm not good with words but I wish nice winter holidays to you all and a nice day/evening✨ Bonus Idia as the crazy uncle Drosselmeyer scribble under the cut
#Twisted wonderland#twst shitpost#i think??#Rollo flamme#Rook hunt#twst yuu#Mouse king's story is kinda sad tbh#iirc it's seven mice brothers reincarnated as one wanting to avenge their mother that got crushed to death by the nutcraker#he tripped on mrs mouse druring a ceremony and uhh “crunch”... an unfortunate accident#Tales for kids amirite#But the ballet has fire musics I love it sm#drawing the favs#Will get back to the ususal late with answering asks and the rest after a few days probably !
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ashes to ashes.
a short comic about the day Ash was born.
Ash's story
Red and Wolf's story
notes:
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all my other comics
store
#we love a family with a storied history of loving women and committing mass murder#wolf is a couple years older than she was in her original comic but still just as smitten with red#i dont intend on making it a habit to connect my comics together into a shared universe#but i did make ash with the internal headcanon that she was the kid of red and wolf#if only to justify elements of her design#the gravity defying hair - the control over fire - the commitment to a black/white/red colour scheme#i wont be doing a backstory for snow btw since she's kind of just. a human being who grew up very entitled and spoiled#although maybe during her undead journey she unknowingly comes across her mothers-in-law in the mountains#(they like to live in remote snowy areas)#red would like her#thats all!#thank you for reading#sapphic art#comic art#stillindigo art#hearteaters#stillindigo comics
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horrible children who are. so so mean to each other
#tlt#the locked tomb#my art#precanon griddlehark dynamic is SO funny. the way they are just no-holds-barred absolutely AWFUL to each other.#the fact that harrow made fun of gideon for saying 'i love you' over her dead mother's grave so gideon nearly choked her to death#and then when gideon recalls this story in gtn she's just like 'yeah lol we were wild kids'#also remember when gideon responded to harrow being kind of bossy with 'your parents must have been so relieved to die' like#imagine saying that knowing full well her parents killed themselves in front of her when she was ten!!!! insane!!#there's no sense of going 'too far' between them. they casually hit what would be considered by most ppl to be 'too far' and then keep going#anyway i don't usually go in for characters-being-kids-together stuff but i will admit that childhood gid+harrow#following each other around absolutely terrorizing each other because they're desperate for each other's attention but also full of#hatred and vitriol#does compel me#like...2 very lonely very traumatized children with only each other for company. what will they do? ENDLESSLY TORTURE EACH OTHER!!!#and yet they are each other's emotional support person. its so good.
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it's about...longevity? stability? it's about natsume believing he'll be somewhere long enough to plant flowers and see them bloom. it's about him taking touko seriously when she asks him to tell her what flowers he wants to plant. it's about making something with his own hands, building a future with the fujiwaras. it's about him repairing a rundown home for someone else, restoring it because it's beloved to them, because it's the home of someone they love. it's about him seeing touko's joy and thinking about the youkai saying we'd like to look upon her happy face forever. it's about the box garden making him think of the fujiwaras' garden and his parents' garden, about the flowers being both the memory of flowers that bloomed there before, and the flowers that he and the youkai planted earlier that day. it's about him waking up in both worlds with sensei. it's about touko finding the petal in his hair. it's about him feeling how he falls short and the youkai saying, but you have such gentle hands...
#watch this right after the ephemeral ones to die instantly. i assume. i haven't tried it#i feel like so many of the emotional beats that destroy me in this story come down to impermanence#accepting loss and change. finding the beauty in transience. treating every encounter as something precious‚ knowing it's ephemeral#and this chapter is about...also accepting renewal? allowing oneself to think about the possibility of love lasting#allowing oneself to put down roots. nurturing what is there. building foundations. doing it for and with people#god you know what else you shouldn't watch this after if you don't want to keel over dead probably. the childhood home arc#natsume can now think of the memory of sitting with his father looking at his mother's garden#and associate it with warmth instead of pain. because he's no longer afraid of losing it. because of the trust he has built#because he knows he can build something. the people here have made it safe for him and he has and he is and he will#i am crying so hard i should be collecting my tears for water reclamation purposes#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#natsuyuu meta#my posts#f
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Actually so tired that people mainly focus on the bdsm when they talk about La Pianiste when we literally have this dynamic right here. Like, that's insane.
What if you were a little girl in her 40's who couldn't grow up because of your mother-wife who made you sleep in her bed and forced you to repress every sexual desires and thoughts of becoming your own person just to keep you close to her ? What if you fought back and yearned for dangerous things out of her reach ? But also, what if you let her because it's all you've ever known and been taught to want ?
#these two are so entangled with each other and in the roles they play#(mother and daughter. husband and wife. prodigal or ungrateful daughter. adoring or mocking mother)#that they cannot handle it when something else is thrown into the mix#There's no space left because they fill all the roles in each other's lives.#but at the same time they never give the other exactly what she wants#The fights never last. Erika will never live up to her mother's ambitions. And her mother will never give her any form of affection which#might satiate her hunger for love. And so on.#They are deeply imperfect- Love and Despise each other but they could never bear the thought of being separated#When I read the part in the book where Erika talks to Walter for the first time and all she wants is to go back into her mother's womb...#you can't make that shi up#when people talk about toxic yuri that's what they could mean but unfortunately we live in a society#gradually learning to accept the person I'm becoming who would've been burned at the stake by my younger self <3#been having so much thoughts about this film once again. And I know that nothing written here is new but I'm a little sad no one really#talks about this relationship online since it's really the heart of the story for me#Of course everything happening with Walter is important. But none of that would be there without the mother-daughter situation#la pianiste#the piano teacher#haneke#sheep stuffs#isabelle huppert#also I'd kinda get it if it was another film and it made people too uncomfortable to talk about it. but I mean this is literally La Pianist
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#how i met your mother#quotes#personal#relatable#romantic quotes#love quotes#thoughtful#facts#true story#feelings#emotions#love#dumblr
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There are many things people expect from one called 'God of Blood'. Always, the first thought is the blood of war, the blood of violence, the blood of the weak shed for the goals of the strong. Ares doesn't think of the blood of battle at all. When he thinks of blood, he envisions the many tied knots of blood bonds and bonds forged in the blood of battle. Blood sons and blood daughters, blood brothers and battle sisters, blood oaths and blood vengeance - he watches over them all and keeps close each one of these bonds.
One cannot begrudge his displeasure then when he realises he cannot tell Leto's offspring apart just by looking at them.
It was easier when it was just Artemis. Dark hair curled about her shoulders, a fierce mien whenever Father summons her to the mountain, a scattering of bones and blood shed whenever she was disturbed; the eldest child of Leto was a wild thing, sharp toothed with sharper claws always at the ready. There's whispers of her being a twin, of her other half being made to crawl on their belly as penance for their sin of god-slaying but Ares pays it little mind. What twins look alike among their number? Even dog litters are born distinct with all their unique markings inlaid in their fur. Artemis' twin too would be much more than their sister's mirror image.
Pouring over his list now, he wishes anything about Phoebus Apollo was that simple.
Mirror image did not begin to describe it. The twins were the same height, the same build, had the same colour and texture hair, ate the same raw food and drank the same amount of nectar. There was no difference in how they dressed, no difference in the company they kept, no variance in the weapons they used. There are some days Ares still cannot believe Phoebus will grow into a man and not some nymph with the way his ears have that slender point. He watches them now, sitting together beneath a shady palm and stringing their bows in an uncanny unison and curses because he still cannot tell them apart. What use is his skill in knowing blood when they both have the same damn blood running through their veins? What bond is there to sense when they are tied so tightly together, Ares can scarcely tell brother from sister?
He sighs. Unadorned and completely alone, the only way to know who is who is to speak to them. He'll have to find more ways to tell them apart from a distance. Surely they cannot stay this similar all the rest of their immortal lives.
#ginger writes#hello and welcome to my 'ares is doing his best' corner#I can't overstate enough how alike Artemis and Apollo are as young gods physically#literally identical twin status which only begins to change as they acquire different domains#I was really happy with the font I got because it very closely resembles what I imagine Ares' handwriting to be like#But I'll gladly add an image description if it's too illegible#That said Ares has an interesting dynamic with the twins#In a lot of ways there's a sense of guilt/wariness surrounding him for Apollo and Artemis#because he knows how much they stress his mother out and he also knows how much Hera doesn't like Leto#But there's also a bit of fascination because Artemis is extremely strong#(in a way that's markedly different from Athena's strength)#while Apollo has all of these crazy stories attached to him from killing Python + his work while exiled#but when he returns he's very placid and calm and almost?? too nice? Definitely nothing like Artemis#in terms of personality#Ares doesn't really trust it until he learns that straight up that's just What Apollo Is Like#That too will change eventually but for now Ares just doesn't want to approach Artemis the way he'd approach Apollo#because he'd get his head caved in with the curved side of a bow#There are precious few encounters Ares has had with Artemis where he hasn't walked away with#at least a few arrow wounds LMAO#He'll eventually be forced to accept that it's Artemis' love language#ares#artemis#apollo#pursuing daybreak posting#writing
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Lunch is served | Next
Tune in tomorrow for the conclusion of this much needed bonding.
Lot Cred: Ten Leaves Spa by @rheya28
#ts4#indya#she's about to dora explore her way into her neighbor's house#lmfaooooooooooooo#we still love self discovery#and coming out to your supportive mother with a fresh mani/pedi#ts4 story#sims 4 story#simblr#black simblr#black simmer#ch25
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people bending over backwards to scream Marika never loved Messmer when he alone has more blessings personally bestowed by her than any other demigods combined are so funny to me. also the fact that it's implied he used to live in Leyndell too 😂😂
also she killed an entire god herself and made sure said God is called all manner of names and depict as ugly forever. for him 😂😂
#my problem with the :(( poor Messmer take is that you have to take a lot of INT points off him if you think his devotion is blindly one-side#taking on the crusade taking on all of ppl's scorn and hatred stuck in a faraway land#morgott is at least just minding his own business down below#imagine defending your fav like “he committed massacre because his mother doesnt love him” be serious with me rn#you want a woobified loveless guy i want a guy that did everything for love because he is loved in return#and don't pretend he's forced to impale and be so cruel to the Hornsent#he did all that eye wide open on his own volition because this is a revenge story. because he knew damn well at one point his mother could#have been cut up and put in a jar#why is the ONLY smiling Marika statue in this entire game a statue of her embracing him#why Marika a sole survivor of an entire clan of ppl would not love the own flesh & blood that she got after she just lost her entire family#(to a massacre btw)#make it make sense#“only the kindness of Gold#without Order” i am sorry we do not deserve the banger implication you give us#er brainrot
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Obligatory Slow Motion Chad Michael Murray Entrance Scene
Freaky Friday (2003)
A Cinderella Story (2004)
Mother of the Bride (2024)
#he ages like fine wine#mr steal your girl#i love him#🔥🔥🔥#thirst trap#freaky friday#a cinderella story#mother of the bride#chad michael murray#love#movie#movies#filmedit#filmedits
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𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝙵𝚎𝚕𝚕
ᴀᴢʀɪᴇʟ x ʀʜʏꜱ!ꜱɪꜱᴛᴇʀ
ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2ᴋ
ᴛᴀɢꜱ/ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: ʟᴏꜱꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴍᴀᴛᴇ. ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴ. ɢʀɪᴇᴠɪɴɢ. ᴘᴀɴɪᴄ ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄᴋ. ꜱᴜɪᴄɪᴅᴀʟ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛꜱ. ʀʜʏꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴀꜱꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀꜱ. ʜᴇᴀᴠʏ ʟɪʙᴇʀᴛɪᴇꜱ ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀɢɪᴄ ꜱʏꜱᴛᴇᴍ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ.
ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: ꜱɪx ᴍᴏɴᴛʜꜱ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ꜰᴀʟʟɪɴɢ ꜱᴛᴀʀ. ᴀᴢʀɪᴇʟ ɪs ɢʀɪᴇᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏss ᴏꜰ ʜɪs ᴍᴀᴛᴇ. ʜɪs ꜰᴀᴍɪʟʏ ʜᴀs ʙᴇᴇɴ sᴏ ᴡᴏʀʀɪᴇᴅ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ʜɪᴍ. ᴡɪʟʟ ʜᴇ ᴘʀᴇᴠᴀɪʟ ɪɴ ʜɪs ᴊᴏᴜʀɴᴇʏ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʜɪs sᴛʀᴇɴɢᴛʜ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰɪɢʜᴛ ʜɪs ᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ᴅᴇᴍᴏɴs ᴀs ʜᴇ ᴛʀɪᴇs ᴛᴏ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ ᴏɴ ᴏʀ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʙᴇ ᴍᴇʀᴄɪꜰᴜʟ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ᴀʟʟᴏᴡ ʜɪᴍ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜɪs ᴍᴀᴛᴇ?
ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ
⋆ ݁⟡ ݁☾ ݁⟡ ݁⋆
Azriel’s eyes shot open when he sensed a presence in his room, instantly reaching for the dagger on his night stand. He looked around wildly but there was nothing. No one.
His shadows were tense. Alert. They sensed it too.
Azriel stood from the bed cautiously, bare feet on cold stone. His shadows instantly shielded him. If there was something in this room he would be invisible to them now.
He crept around the room, taking in every inch. Every shadowy corner. He looked behind the curtains. In the massive wardrobes. Under his bed, in his bathroom. Nothing. He walked to the balcony—that feeling of another being there rushed over him. He stepped out, the night breeze chilled his skin instantly and his eyes narrowed.
Nothing.
Then he felt it.
He gasped, dagger dropping to the ground as his hands clutched at his chest.
There was a tug. A tug right in the center of his chest, a tug in that black hole that had been there for months.
He fell to his knees. He couldn’t breathe. His chest was pounding.
“Rhys!” He hissed to his shadows, “Go get Rhys!”
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
One hundred and eighty days.
Twenty six weeks.
Six Months.
Six months since Azriel lost the love of his life. His beautiful, sweet mate that he had foolishly turned away—who in her final moments may not have believed his love for her.
He would never forget the look on her face when that damned hyber soldier shoved a sword through her, how his shadows tried to desperately tend to her wounds as he tried to find help, the way she clung to him as her blood soaked through his armor. He remembered it, all of it. Every touch, every look, every whispered word from their last moments together played on repeat in his head.
It was all he dreamed about.
That was probably why he hadn’t left his room much the last six months. All he wanted was sleep because that’s where she was. Even if it was only a glimpse, even if the dream turned into a nightmare he didn’t care. If he could see her that’s all he cared about.
And when he wasn’t sleeping?
Well, he just laid in bed, his shadows curled against him as he stared at the roof or hid under his blanket and considered leaving this earth behind until sleep finally consumed him once again.
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
Violet blues were in front of him and Azriel immediately reached for him—scarred hand fisting in the dark material of his shirt.
“Az—”
“I can’t,” Azriel gasped, his shadows in a flurry around him. “I can’t breathe, Rhys. I can’t. I—”
“You can, come on, you have to take a breath. You have to calm down before you pass out,” Rhys said, grabbing him—one hand on his shoulder the other on the side of his face.
“Breathe. Come on, Az, breathe with me brother…”
He couldn’t. Rhys' words were drowned out by the ringing in his ears. He gasped again, doubling over again as that tugging in his chest began again. Feeling as if he was being shredded apart from the inside.
Azriel met Rhys’ eyes, saw the panic there, caught just a glimpse of Cassian as he landed on the balcony behind Rhys. The distant concerned shrill of Feyre’s voice. Rhys’ hand left his shoulder, grasping the other side of his face—he looked to be nearly yelling at him, shaking his head at something Cassian said.
His lungs hurt so bad, refusing to take in the air he was desperately trying to breathe. He’s going to pass out, he knows he it, he can feel the lightness in his head as his vision started fading around the edges.
He looked at Rhy again, but this time those violet blues didn’t belong to Rhys.
No. The face looking back at him was the one he’s been searching for since the last time he saw it all those months ago. The one his heart called out for. He reached out, scarred fingertips tracing along her cheek, his lungs finally filling with the breath he was so desperate for.
“Stella…” he gasped as he lost consciousness.
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
It was the midst of battle when he felt that tug in his chest, worry spreading through his chest. He shoved the dead soldier off his sword and spun around looking for her. She tugged again. He felt panicked, something felt wrong—had been feeling wrong all morning.
When his eyes met hers, she tugged that bond between him and he felt it. She had the same awful gut feeling he had. He nodded in confirmation, tugging that bond between them—the first time he’d acknowledged it.
He almost smiled at her, almost urged her to come closer when a figure suddenly appeared behind her.
No!
But the words wouldn’t come out. All he could feel was dread. He tugged that bond again trying to alert her. Why couldn’t he move? He felt frozen in his spot. He tugged that bond as hard as he could, hoping, praying to the mother that maybe he could pull her to him.
His entire body ran cold as that Hybern soldier appeared right behind her. The he felt it as it happened, watched as that sword pierced right through her stomach.
No. No. No. No! He was screaming, fighting that invisible force was holding him.
He watched her face crumple as she looked down at the sword impaling her. She looked back at him, a gasping sob ripped from her throat as that soldier pulled his blade from her body.
“NO!” Azriel’s shout left his throat, so loud it shook the earth around them.
He watched as she touched that bloody wound in shock—only half paying attention to the fact that Cassian had just killed that soldier but Stella was falling. Her wings had given out and she was plummeting towards the earth—
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
He woke with a gasp, nearly toppling from the bed he'd laid on.
“Hey, hey, Az,” A voice echoed before a hand came down on his shoulder. He looked for the owner of that voice, finding his brother there—a look of concern on Rhys’ face.
“What the hell happened?” Azriel breathed, rubbing his hands over his face roughly, his body feeling fatigued and weak.
“We could ask you the same question,” the owner of that voice was Cassian.
“Azriel, I’ve given you time. I know it's been hard but it’s time to talk about it. You can’t keep living like this and I can’t keep watching you waste away,” Rhys said, firm and commanding.
Azriel looked at him, then Cassian. Felt the tears in his eyes, saw the worry in theirs.
“Fuck,” he breathed, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, running a hand through his hair. Sat there silently for a moment.
He didn’t see the look his brother shared, the way they silently communicate their concerns to one another.
“I don’t know…” Azriel started, thinking of the words he wanted to say. “I don’t know if I want to live without her anymore.”
The weight of those words was heavy, hitting his brothers hard.
“Is that why you’ve been in your room? Refusing to eat or train? Because you…because you want to die?” Rhys asked, his voice still strong but there was something else there—a silent fear.
“Not entirely,” Azriel shook his head. “Three months ago I started having dreams of her. She’s all I think about in my waking moments and she’s all I see in my dreams. Sometimes they are horrible dreams but I—I stay in bed because when I am awake all I remember is that she is gone but when I sleep she is still with me. I can see her, I can hear her laugh, I can hold her in my arms, kiss her, tell her—tell her I love her and want to be her mate. And I just—”
A sob cut him off as the tears fell freely from his eyes.
“Az,” Rhys breathed, reaching out to grab his brother, wrapping him in a hug the best he could from the side.
Looking to Cassian he saw those hazel eyes brimmed with tears, their brother's pain so strong it hurt them too.
“I miss her so much,” Azriel sobbed, clutching to Rhys.
Cassian couldn’t stand there any longer, moving to the bed and sitting, reaching out and wrapping his arms around his brothers. He wasn’t afraid to let his tears flow as they all sat there together, trying to bring whatever comfort they could to their broken brother.
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
It’s three days later when Azriel wakes, his body so exhausted from crying and speaking his feelings that he just slept and slept. Only dreaming of his girl. Not a single nightmare in sight.
As he was laying in bed, the dreams circled over and over in his head. He felt as if she was trying to tell him something, that maybe wherever she was she was still trying to be there for him.
She wouldn’t want this for him. She wouldn’t want him to lay in bed wasting away. She wouldn’t want him to die alone in his room. He couldn’t live his life with her. But he could live his life for her.
So he got up. It was slow, his shadows helped him. His muscles and joints hurt. His wings felt incredibly heavy. And…gods, was that smell him?
He looked towards the window. If he bathed now maybe he could have breakfast with his family. He missed them.
His brothers. His high lady and her sisters. Mor. And even Amren.
He was slow to move to the bathroom—he hadn’t noticed a few days ago or even that night he thought someone was in his room but now? Fuck, he felt it all now.
The bath was already steaming and he had half a mind to praise the house for that but his mental capacity wasn’t quite there yet. Instead he let his shadows undress him and balance him as he stepped into the large deep bath, immediately submerging himself in the warmth, sharing the weight of his body with the water took off a huge strain from his muscles.
Step one: get strength back.
He almost felt too weak to even bathe but while he washed himself his shadows took over the responsibility of washing his hair.
When he finally pulled himself from the water a fresh warm towel was waiting for him with a stack of clean clothes. He paused mid drying off when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror.
His skin was dull and pale, dark bags under his eyes that looked nearly sunken in. A thick, scruffy beard covered his chin and jaw and his hair fell well past his ears, nearly resting on his shoulders. The majority of his muscle definition was gone and he looked…fragile. Like he could break so very easily. His wings drooped behind him and when he tried to tighten them it was painful.
“Fuck,” he breathed, shaking his head. He hadn’t realized how bad it had gotten, how much his health—mentally and physically had declined.
Azriel brushed his teeth then grabbed the scissors from the counter, grabbing chunks of the beard off and snipping them off. He left some facial hair, and half ass style the hair on his head—he refused to go in front of his family for the first time in months looking so unkempt.
The clothes were simple and he didn’t bother with shoes. He stood at the door of his bedroom for a moment. He didn’t remember the last time he left this room. The little he had eaten had come directly from the house or his shadows.
He pulled open the door and stepped out. There was no one in the halls but his shadows clung to him protectively. They hadn’t spoken at all, merely clung to him. He began down the hall, dreading the stairs knowing they would kill his legs but he had to do it. He had to.
He was moving slowly but he could sense his family in the dining room on the level below. He held the railing and as he finally reached the last stair he took a moment to compose himself. He could feel a thin sheen of sweat coating his skin from the effort it took to descend the steps. His thighs and calves burned. And he had to take a few breaths to calm his racing heart.
He wasn’t sure the last time he ever felt like this. All he knew is he didn’t want to keep feeling like this.
Taking another breath he nodded to himself, placing a hand on the door and pushing it up. He was silent and as he looked around the dining room he wasn’t sure how he felt, but they were there—everyone except Amren anyway.
“Azriel,” Mor gasps, her brown eyes widening as a range of emotion washed over her face.
Every eye in the room turned to him. He lifted his head, tucked his wings and squared his shoulders back. He would not falter. He would be strong. He could do this. So he walked over, he took his normal seat between Cassian and Rhys, still open and ready for him.
He hadn’t yet spoken a word before a plate of food appeared in front of him. Looking up he met the eyes of each person at the table, varying looks but not of pity, sadness or contempt. No all of those eyes, the eyes of his family held pride, love and respect.
So he reached out, grabbed his fork and began to eat.
Azriel spoke to no one and no one spoke to him. Their conversation continued and he felt lighter listening to their voices. When he got back to his room, he fell into bed and he cried. He cried until he fell asleep.
But when he woke up the next morning, he got out of bed and joined his family for breakfast one again.
#READ WARNINGS#NOT EDITED#rhys and cassian are the best brothers#Azriel is having a hard time#the mother can be cruel#but she is also giving#love me some Elriel but their ship will not sail in this story lol#azriel#Azriel x rhys!sister#azriel fanfic#acotar fanfiction#acotar#acotar fanfic
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I guess this isn't surprising....
And I guess neither is this...
#stephanie hsu#eeaao#i actually quite love that Joy's queerness#well gayness pretty sure she's a lesbian#is a huge part of the story#yet so subtle that you forget it's driving half the conflict#if you take it away#you have no movie#her mother cannot accept her and it has destroyed their relationship#that is the movie#everything everywhere all at once
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