#Stop having terrible takes about this film challenge

[sinclair-enterprises]

Genuinely gonna flip a table over this shit.

[rhaenella]

LN4 | Challenge Accepted

pairing: lando norris x non-driver!reader

genre: one shot ✿

summary: it’s been five years since the last chinese gp, so when you and lando are set up to race each other on the shanghai circuit on mclaren’s state of the art simulator, anything is possible…

word count: 5.6k

masterlist

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･

The sound of feet tapping restlessly against the floor, alternated by the squeaking of a swivel chair spinning round, echoed through the large hall at McLaren HQ. With a sigh, you refreshed your social media—again—but there were no new posts of any kind to keep you occupied. You’d already gone through all of them.

Your boyfriend and F1 driver, Lando Norris, was somewhere in the massive building, filming interviews, challenges and whatnot for the McLaren social media platforms. He had asked if you'd come with him today, mostly because you already saw so little of each other due to his busy schedule. Not that you saw much of each other right now, but at least there wasn’t an ocean between you like there usually was. 

Besides, he’d promised he would wrap up as quickly as he could, and take you out for dinner. So. The wait was worth it. Even though you were bored out of your mind for the foreseeable future.

After walking up and down the hall’s boulevard four times over, admiring all of the beautiful, historical cars on display, you had checked out the trophy wall, which was just as impressive. But since you weren’t allowed access anywhere else inside the building, at least not without a chaperone, there wasn’t much else for you to do or see. That’s how you found yourself in your current situation, spinning around in a chair like an impatient five-year-old, the line of racing cars and the lake outside whooshing by. 

“Y/N?”

The chair came to an abrupt stop. “Yea–yes?” you squinted at the blurry figure in front of you. 

Maybe it hadn’t been such a great idea to spin around so many times that your vestibular system now made it feel like you were on a ship battling a terrible storm. Luckily, once your vision cleared, you recognised the person instantly. It was Lando’s performance engineer, Andrew Jarvis. You’d seen him around race tracks a few times—he was always very friendly and kind to you.

“Jarv! Hi, how are you?”

“I’m good, thanks. What about yourself?”

“Oh, good, good… Enjoying the scenery,” you sneered, waving a hand.

“Right,” he drawled, looking you up and down with an amused smile. “Bored?”

“Yes,” you groaned, sinking a little deeper into the chair. “So. Fucking. Bored.”

Jarv chuckled. “I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m afraid Lando is still tied up. I think he and Oscar are filming some kind of… song challenge? I don’t know,” he shrugged with another laugh. “It’s not exactly my area of expertise.”

Your lips quirked up. “Imagine if it was. You could start hiding strategy calls in songs and sing them over the board radio.”

He wavered. “That would be…”

“Genius?”

“Eh, well,” he faltered, his mouth twitching all the same. 

“Right. Maybe not,” you laughed. 

Although, privately you thought it would be a hilarious idea. With a tinge of brilliance, perhaps. But the pinnacle of motorsport would probably be a little too serious to see it your way. 

“I’m obviously not an engineer, or a strategist, or a driver. So, I guess I’ll just stay here,” you sighed, patting the armrests of your new friend, the swivel chair. “And try to excel in exercising patience instead.”

Jarv nodded, his brows furrowing. “Maybe you don’t have to…” 

You eyed him with a suspicious look. “What do you mean?”

He checked his watch and glanced around before looking back to you, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I have an idea. Come with me.”

Jarv had already turned on his heel before you could object, expecting you to blindly follow him to wherever it was he intended to take you. Which you did… without too much thought. Let’s just say boredom got the best of you. Choosing between sitting another god knows how many hours in that chair, or doing something—anything—the choice wasn’t hard. So, you leaped from your seat, sprinting to catch up with him. 

“Wait!” 

He slowed down, and you fell into step beside him. “What’s your idea? Where are you taking me?”

“You’ll see.”

You neared the large double doors at the rear of the boulevard. Jarv pressed his right thumb on a small, glass box on the wall next to them, waiting for his fingerprint to be authorised. The system scanned his print, and the light tinged green. “Welcome, Mr. Jarvis,” a female voice said as the doors automatically opened in front of you.

“Nice.”

Jarv grinned, gesturing for you to precede him into the restricted wing of McLaren HQ. The part that the general public never got to see. You gazed around in amazement. You knew it was a large building, but it was more like a maze back here, and you quickly lost all sense of direction.

“I should probably text Lando, he’s gonna wonder where I’ve disappeared to.”

“Don’t worry, Lando is heading where we’re going, too.”

You relaxed a little at that, however your curiosity didn’t subside as you trailed after Jarv throughout the many long corridors. Where the hell were you going?

The behind the scenes looked arguably even more impressive than all the trophies and race-winning cars that were being flaunted in the entrance hall. You passed countless offices, labs, and workshops where employees were working on top-secret updates for the MCL38, or perhaps even next year’s car. And although Jarv kept up a good pace, you were still able to sneak a few glimpses here and there, thanks to all the glass walls. Most of the technology looked so futuristic, you felt like you had accidentally stepped onto the set of a sci-fi film.

Jarv made a sharp right turn down another hallway. This one only had one door at the end, and it wasn’t made out of glass like the rest of them, which prevented you from being able to see what was behind it. 

You read the sign next to the door, which only added to the mystery. 

Strictly No Admittance. Authorised Personnel Only.

“This is it,” Jarv said, retrieving a key to unlock the door, opening it wide. 

Well, there was your authorisation.

You stepped into the mysterious, dimly lit room, your eyes gradually widening with awe. 

The room was roughly twelve by twelve metres, and in the centre stood two professionally altered Formula 1 cars, both with their own 180-degree widescreens set up in a semicircle around them. The back wall was lined with large computer screens, a row of chairs stationed in front of them, which gave you the feeling you were looking at a small-scale pitwall. 

Holy… beep.

Speaking of futuristic tech, this was way up there.

“Welcome to the McLaren simulation room.”

You whirled around to face Jarv, beaming. “This is incredible. I’ve never seen a sim like this before.”

It was true. Sure, Lando had his own simulator at home in Monaco. But it was nothing compared to this piece of craftsmanship.

Jarv hummed, smiling as he walked to the faux-pitwall. “So. You ready to try it out?”

You blinked. “Ready to–wait a minute… what?”

You stared at Jarv as he turned on the computers, pressing buttons here and there that made the right car hum to life. Next, the widescreen around the car powered up as well, causing a wave of light to brighten the otherwise dark room.

“Jarv?”

He opened a cabinet, retrieving a steering wheel before he walked to the simulator. “Come on, don’t tell me you don’t want to.”

“That’s not it,” you trailed off. 

“Good,” he said, turning around, looking at you expectantly. “So get in, then.”

“But… what about Lando? You said he was on his way over here. Don’t they need the room?”

“They will be here to film something in,” Jarv checked his watch again. “In a little over an hour. Until then, the room is empty, and we can use it. I presume you’ve driven a simulator before?”

“Yeah, I have… but don’t I need some kind of special clearance to use one of these?” One of these super expensive, highly accurate simulators that are solely used to train drivers and prepare the real cars and their setups for race weekends. Whatever could go wrong?

“Y/N, don’t worry about it. I’m Lando’s performance engineer. I’m one of the few that gets to decide who uses the sim.”

You shifted your weight, still unsure. “I’m not gonna be any good at it.”

“That doesn’t matter. What matters is that you have fun, or would you rather return to the waiting area?”

“No.”

Jarv’s smile widened, and he gestured to the sim, inviting you to take a seat.

You hesitantly walked up to the car, twisting your rings, a nervous habit of yours. You’d tried the simulator at Lando’s before, and like you’d already pointed out to Jarv, you weren’t any good at it. Lando had tried to talk you through it, telling you where to break and lift, but it was painfully clear you weren’t cut out to be a driver. 

And now you had to drive in McLaren’s state of the art simulator, under the watchful eye of Lando’s performance engineer. The pressure was real. You didn’t want to make a complete fool out of yourself.

After you’d managed to, somewhat awkwardly, settle yourself in the sim’s seat, Jarv locked the steering wheel into place. It was familiar to you as it looked exactly like the one on Lando’s car, just like everything else on this sim. Except that it didn’t have a front or back wing, or any tyres.

“Alright, before you start driving, it’s important to know the ins and outs of the track you’re racing at. Which in this case will be Shanghai, the location of next weekend’s race,” Jarv said, pressing a few buttons. 

The layout of the track popped up on the screen in front of you, with a sea of information and data appearing on the sides. 

“Don’t worry about the data. We’ll stick to the basics that are of importance to you as a driver. Ready?”

You nodded.

“Good. So, the Shanghai International Circuit has sixteen corners, two DRS-zones on the main straights; one in sector three, and the other on start-finish…”

***

“I don’t know, I feel like maybe I should pursue a musical career,” Lando joked as he and Oscar followed Marion, the head of McLaren’s PR team, down the building’s corridors. 

They had just finished filming another challenge for YouTube. Or Instagram. Or both. Lando didn’t really care about the specifics. It was just another part of his job. Something he’d rather be done with soon, so he could go back to his girl.

Oscar snorted. “Yes, I’m sure you’ll be a Grammy-nominated artist in no time.”

Lando grinned, agreeing with a nod. 

“Alright, lads. One more, and then you’re free to go,” Marion called over her shoulder. 

It was absolute music to Lando’s ears.

“What is it that we have to do?” Oscar asked.

“You’ll be racing each other on the sim, just for a couple of laps, around the Shanghai circuit.”

“I thought we were gonna train on the sim in the morning,” Lando said.

Marion nodded. “You will. This is only a short challenge for a video ahead of the Chinese Grand Prix. Because we haven’t raced there in so long, we thought it’d be fun to film your initial reaction to the track driving the MCL38.”

He and Oscar shared a look. They were always down for a race. There was no question about it.

The click-clacking of Marion’s heels bounced around the hallway as the group made their way to the simulation room. When they arrived, Will, Lando’s race engineer, and a camera and sound crew were waiting for them by the door.

“Why are you all out here? You should be setting up the cameras,” Marion scolded, looking at the men expectantly, waiting for an explanation.

But the men ignored her, instead they all looked to Lando, grinning. He frowned, not at all understanding the meaning behind the knowing looks they were sending him. What was up with them?

“Someone beat us to the sim, I’m afraid,” Will explained, his eyes still on Lando.

Marion turned to Lando as well, equally confused. “What does that mean?”

Lando met her eye and shrugged. “Hell if I know.”

As if on cue, a high pitched scream came from the simulation room, followed by a distinct, “That’s more like it!”

Will and the crew chuckled, but Marion wasn’t having it. “What on earth is going on,” she bristled, pushing past them to enter the room.

Lando followed her, but he couldn’t have been less prepared for the scene they stumbled upon next. 

Occupying one of the simulators was his girlfriend, and right next to you stood Jarv, who was closely monitoring your driving, giving you short and precise instructions. You were going down the straight at full throttle, following Jarv’s pointers as you breaked and hit the curb perfectly for a smooth exit.

What the hell? 

He’d thought you were still waiting for him in the entrance hall on the other side of the building. Never in a million years had he expected to find you here, racing on McLaren’s simulator, looking like you actually knew what you were doing no less. 

So that’s why all the guys had been smirking at him…

“What do we have here?”

You jumped at Lando’s voice, immediately causing the car to spin and crash during your momentary lapse of concentration. 

“Fuck! I was on a flying lap…”

“And a bloody good one at that,” Jarv added, proud.

Lando’s eyebrows shot up. “You were what?” His eyes flicked from you to Jarv, to you, and then back to Jarv. “Mate?”

Before Jarv could utter a word, you turned to face your boyfriend with a wide smile. “Baby, guess what?! I’m not a complete loser at this!”

“I–I’m so proud of you… but,” Lando shook his head, still not understanding any of this. “Why are you two in here?”

You grabbed onto the halo and pulled yourself out of the car to face him. “Jarv came to see how I was doing, and since I had nothing better to do, he suggested I’d give this a try,” you explained, gesturing to the sim.

“Oh, I see,” Lando smiled. 

Yet he struggled to swallow the bitter taste at seeing you spending time and having fun with Jarv. All the while he had been stuck ‘working’. Not that he blamed you for it. He was the one who left you all by yourself for so long. But still… 

“Uhm, but now that you’re all here,” you said, a bit sheepish, your eyes scanning the gathering crowd. “I’ll uhm, I’ll leave you to it.”

“Very well,” Marion called, but she was quickly interrupted.

“No, no, no, no. Wait a second. I need to know something first,” Will spoke, stepping forward. “Jarv, we need your professional assessment, man. How did she do?”

Marion sighed, tapping her phone to check the time, which only made her look more impatient. Lando ignored her, his eyes sliding from you to his performance engineer, curious as well. 

“Y/N did great. She struggled a little at first, but the more laps she did, the better she got,” Jarv beamed. He turned to face Lando. “You know, I reckon she’d even have a good chance at beating you.”

Lando studied him. “You’re joking.”

“No, I’m being serious, mate. I’d wager good money on it.”

Marion’s annoyance evaporated within an instant, her eyes lighting up. “Oh gosh, that is a perfect idea, Jarvis.”

“What is? Gambling?” 

“No,” she huffed. “I mean, instead of Lando against Oscar, we can have these two lovebirds race each other on the sim instead!”

“What?” you and Lando cried in unison.

Everyone looked at you, and your cheeks tinged a soft pink. You weren’t used to all the attention, usually preferring to keep a lower profile. Well, as much as that was possible dating a Formula 1 driver.

“Guys, I’m flattered. Truly, I am. But I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes. I know you’re all here to do a job, and that job doesn’t include me…”

“That’s right,” Lando agreed. He shot you a brief smile before addressing Marion. “Besides, she doesn’t like to be the centre of attention, and I don’t want her to embarrass herself in front of the eyes of millions.”

Something stirred inside you. “What does that mean? You don’t think I can beat you?”

“Well, sweetheart…”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” you mumbled, your eyes narrowing. 

Under other circumstances, you would have agreed with him. But this last hour and a half with Jarv had boosted your confidence. It had gone really well, exceeding both of your expectations on your sim racing capabilities by miles. And maybe, some part of you, just wanted to show him that.

Like Lando, you never shied away from competition. Not if you had a chance at winning. You weren’t a hundred percent sure if you did right now. But you couldn’t deny you weren’t more than a little curious to find out. And seeing as Lando had just called you out in front of everyone, the only logical thing to do was rise to the challenge.

“You know what? I’m in.”

With that, you climbed back into the snug seat, forcing the thought of having everyone’s eyes on you to the back of your mind. 

Lando’s eyes widened. “What?” 

“Wonderful,” Marion exclaimed. “Let’s roll, people.”

Lando watched as everybody around him immediately jumped into action, including the camera and sound guys who got ready to put it all on film. Jarv grinned and grabbed his tablet, giving a slight nod to Will, who nodded in return and went to start up the second simulator and retrieve a steering wheel for Lando.

“I’ll be assisting Y/N, and just like with a normal race, Will can be Lando’s engineer,” Jarv said.

“Yep,” Will said, holding up the steering wheel as he walked to the other sim. “We’re good to go.”

“We are too!” one of the crewmen announced.

Marion smiled, but it faded when she noticed Lando still standing by the door, not having moved an inch. “What are you waiting for? Get in the car,” she said.

She started pushing Lando in the direction of the other sim, but he stood his ground. 

“Hold on. We can’t do this.”

“What? Why not?”

“Yeah, why not?”

Lando sighed. “You know why.” 

Did they? Did he? 

Lando loved to race, and he certainly loved you. So what was stopping him from combining the two? 

He wasn’t scared of losing—he never has been, and never would. Not that there was any real chance that you, an inexperienced ‘driver’, could beat him today. There was simply no way. 

He’d seen you try the sim at his house, and despite his best efforts, you were, for lack of a better term, absolute rubbish. But then again, Jarv had seemed so sure of himself. That man didn’t lie or exaggerate. He would give it to you straight if you underperformed or weren’t any good. Lando had always admired and respected that. 

So, had Jarv been able to unearth some sort of racing talent that was buried deep inside of you? Something that Lando himself hadn’t managed to uncover…

Was that why he hesitated going up against you? His sense of pride?

Lando groaned internally. If anything, that should make him that much more adamant to race you.

He looked over to see you were already staring at him, ambition burning bright in your eyes. Ambition to beat him. At the thing he did best… It was alluring, and Lando felt his own competitiveness flare. 

“No, we don’t. Honestly, what’s stopping you?”

“It’s only five laps. It’ll be a piece of cake for you, Norris.”

“Unless that’s the problem,” Jarv joked. “Maybe he needs to warm up and familiarise himself with the track first…”

“I think all of you are forgetting that I’m the only one here who actually raced in Shanghai,” Lando shot back, unconsciously taking a step towards the sim.

“And how did that work out for you, mate?” Oscar chimed in.

Lando glared at him and Oscar struggled to contain his laughter. 

“Even better,” you exclaimed, reclaiming your boyfriend’s attention. “You have on track experience and I’ve had a little time to prepare with Jarv. That’s fair enough, right?”

“Y/N… are you sure you want to…” 

He was so close to giving in. He knew it, you knew it, probably everyone did. Besides, you had one more trick up your sleeve. One that would surely make his competitive side overshadow any lingering doubts, and get him to race you in that other sim.

“When have you ever walked away from a race? Hm? Unless you’re scared you’ll lose…”

That struck the intended chord. 

Oh, she didn’t, Lando thought. 

You gave him your most innocent looking smile, but he knew damn well what you were doing. He shook himself. Fine. If you wanted to race him so badly, he would give it to you. And no way in hell would he still consider going easy on you.

Lando promptly made his way to the other car and slid into the seat with practised ease. He signalled Will, who handed him the steering wheel. He clicked it into place before glancing to his right, smiling dangerously. “Alright, you’re on, darling. Challenge accepted.”

At that, Jarv entered a bunch of commands on his tablet, which was connected to the simulator’s system, to set the race parameters. Two cars appeared on the screens, each from their own driver’s point of view, already in position to start racing at Shanghai’s International Circuit.

“As you can see, Lando will start on the right and Y/N will start on the left,” Jarv informed.

“Whoa, wait a minute,” Lando sputtered. “Why are you starting from pole and not me?”

“Because I clocked the fastest lap time.”

“You clocked the only lap time.”

You shrugged, smiling. “Take it up with race control, baby.”

“Don’t worry,” Will reassured, looking at his own tablet as he scrolled through the accumulated data from your runs. “Break late, and you can easily overtake her in the first corner.”

Lando nodded, adjusting his grip on the steering wheel as the digital green flag was waved.

Jarv leaned in to whisper in your ear: “No, he won’t. Just remember what I taught you.”

“Aye, aye,” you said, focusing on the lights.

The cameras were all set and rolling, and Marion looked around, relishing the unexpected turn of events. This would be an enormous hit online, for sure. Her eyes landed on Oscar who stood to the back, watching the couple with an amused glint in his eye. If only she could involve him as well somehow… that would make it even better.

“Oscar, why don’t you take on the role of commentator?” Marion suggested, her tone indicating that he didn’t have much of a choice. 

Oscar startled. “Oh. Uhm. Yeah, sure.”

He moved to stand in between the two simulators, clearing his throat. “Right. Uhm. Welcome to the Shanghai International Circuit for the 2024 Chinese Grand Prix… It’s Sunday, April 21st—well, not really but let’s go with it—uhm, and we’ll soon start racing–”

“You’re a lousy commentator, Piastri,” Lando interrupted.

Oscar rolled his eyes. “How about you worry about yourself, Norris.”

Lando snickered, but he quickly sobered when the first light gleamed red. Then the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth, and…

“It’s lights out and away we go!”

You got away quick, but Lando was faster, years of experience siding with him.

“Lando dives into the first corner, ahead of Y/N. Can she cross back? No, no she cannot. Ah, bummer…” Oscar narrated. “She’s right behind him, though, going into turn 3. Lando nearly missing the apex there, but he recovers well. OH! Oh, never mind. Lando goes wide in turn 6! Yeah, he’s familiar with that one.”

“Shut up,” Lando snapped.

“I didn’t think so, mate,” Oscar grinned, settling into his new character nicely. 

“Y/N is back on his heels as they go down sector two. DRS is not yet enabled, but she is only six tenths behind! Will Y/N be able to overtake Norris without DRS on the straight? She’s getting closer… they’re racing each other into turn 14, and… OH Y/N, massive lock-up! She manages to keep the car on track. Excellent save! But that’s gonna cost her some valuable time.”

You crossed start-finish, eyeing the time as you entered lap two.

Oscar’s voice boomed loud. “DRS enabled! But Y/N is too far–”

“Just 1.2 seconds behind, you can still do this,” Jarv encouraged. “Line-up on the left and take the first corner on the inside. Yeah, like that. Good.”

On the other side of the room, Will was giving Lando similar instructions. It had, after all, been a while since Lando had last raced this track. During his rookie year, no less. Therefore it was currently taking him quite a bit of effort to find the correct race line, especially with the many difficult corners and hairpins around the track. 

“Steady on,” Will said. “Y/N is out of DRS. Let’s keep it that way.”

The couple sped down the track on their simulators, and even though most of your focus was spent on driving and listening to Jarv’s notes, you also marvelled at the accuracy and realism of the sim. From the sensations of the literal car you were seated in, down to the gravel Lando’s little off-track adventure had caused to spread in and around turn 6. Whatever the outcome of the race, this experience would certainly beat waiting around and lounging in that swivel chair.

“Great exit from Norris who is absolutely flying down the straight in sector three, followed by Y/N at 1.4 seconds. Still doing a phenomenal job so far!” Oscar continued, his eyes glued to the screen. “Approaching turn 14, can Y/N manage the hairpin this time? What?! Oh, no! It’s Lando that locks up this time… Oiiioii, mighty turn 14 proves to be too much for both of our star drivers.”

Jarv kept a close eye on the interval time, and thanks to Lando’s mistake, the gap had already shrunk to 1.1 seconds. “Okay, now use the extra power from the ERS to get closer,” he instructed.

You did as you were told, pressing the correct button on the steering wheel, which gave you an extra boost to get even closer to Lando.

“Y/N gaining on Norris! And she’s now back within DRS at 0.9 seconds. Whoa, what a truly remarkable performance by someone who has never driven a race car or a sim like this before! I’d vote for her as driver of the day…”

“No one asked your opinion,” Lando cut off, sounding a little strained.

“Whatever,” Oscar shrugged, unbothered. “Lando Grumpy-Ass Norris struggles to maintain the gap between him and his girlfriend, hitting the curb a little enthusiastically right there. Oh, Y/N faces the same issues! It’s all about keeping the focus now, ladies and gents. Will Y/N be able to close the gap? Will she be able to attack Norris?”

Marion stood behind the cameras, watching gleefully how you and Lando raced each other around the virtual Shanghai circuit. Oh, you were even better than she could have ever anticipated. Better than anyone in the room could have ever anticipated, really. The whole crew was watching the race with baited breath. 

You were almost equally matched. With you, a real diamond in the rough, having received some training beforehand, and Lando, an experienced driver, essentially going in blind—it was a golden match.

Were you going to be able to do the unthinkable?

“We’re going into the penultimate lap, and even with Lando strategically using his batteries, Y/N has managed to close the gap to 0.7 with DRS. And there she is also clocking the fastest lap. Wow!”

“You can win a little bit of extra time in sector two,” Will analysed. “Turns 9 and 12 are crucial. You need a good exit.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Lando said. “I know what I’m doing.”

“Does he?” Oscar cut in. “We’ve got track limits for Norris in turn 9! He’s getting desperate now, with Y/N coming for him at 0.6 seconds. Is she going to—yes! She’s attempting to overtake Norris ahead of turn 11 but… fails… Oh, that was a bold move by Y/N! She lost a bit of time with that one, but she’s still within DRS range and knows she will be able to get close again for another attack.”

Your knuckles were turning white from how tight you were gripping the steering wheel. You couldn’t make a mistake, not now. You were so close… On the other sim, Lando was in a similar state. Although he was clenching his jaw in concentration instead. It was becoming more and more difficult to keep you behind him.

“Final lap,” Oscar announced. “And Norris crosses the white lines again! Turn 3 this time. Yep, there it is. Second track limits for Norris. He is feeling the heat, and not the good kind.”

Jarv’s mouth twitched. “It’s been five years since Lando raced here, let’s use it to our advantage,” he spoke to you in a hushed tone.

You nodded, your eyes never wavering from the screen in front of you.

Jarv checked the data, both yours and Lando’s, then leaned in. “Okay, here’s what you’ll do: instead of following the race line at–”

Will was closely observing you and Jarv from the other side of the room, but he couldn’t make out what Jarv was saying over the sounds of the simulators’ engines and Oscar still commentating to his heart’s content. He looked down at his driver, who was fully focused on the task before him.

“And then use the charged batteries after exiting turn 13. I know Lando’s defending tactics, this should work. He won’t see it coming,” Jarv finished. 

You simply nodded again, trusting your engineer’s judgement. You would give it your all to try and execute his strategy as best you could.

“As we’re nearing the chequered flag, all bets are off. Lando is fighting for his position with everything he has, but Y/N is not ready to call it quits just yet!” 

Your heart rate was off the charts, but you managed to stay calm, hitting the apexes, the metres between you and Lando’s car in front dwindling with each passing second.

“0.5 seconds, 0.4 seconds…”

“Flat out, Y/N. Let’s go,” Jarv said, his own heart rate ticking up.

“She’s chasing him, with DRS… There she comes. There she comes… round the inside! Y/N overtakes Norris!” Oscar roared. “Diving into the infamous turn 14… and… and she makes it! Hell yeah! What a mega move from Y/N! Now into the final corner. Can she stay ahead of Norris? Can she…? Yes!! Yes, she can!”

You passed the chequered flag, your mouth falling open in shock.

“Y/N wins the Chinese Grand Prix!”

“OH MY GOD!!”

Jarv's laugh pierced the room. “Get in! I told you!”

He managed to stop himself just in time before he started jumping up and down like an overly excited little boy. You shared his enthusiasm though, unable to control the slight tremor in your hands at seeing your name next to the word WINNER displayed boldly on the screen in front of you. 

Holy fuck, you did it. You actually did it.

Lando sank low in his seat. “How the hell…”

Will patted him on the shoulder, consoling. “You did your best mate.”

“Clearly it wasn’t enough,” he grumbled.

Will glanced at their celebrating opponents, the corner of his mouth lifting. “Get your mind out of the gutter, mate, and look on the bright side.”

“Which is?”

“Your girlfriend just showed you the perfect overtake manoeuvre for Sunday.”

“Ha-ha, very funny…”

Although, you really did. 

Lando turned to see Jarv help you out of the simulator, still grinning from ear to ear. You were reeling, the adrenaline of the fight and win coursing through your veins. Suddenly you understood what it must feel like to come out of a real F1 car, and to stand on the podium, basking in that feeling of winning a race.

As soon as you were out, Jarv high-fived you. “Solid race. That’s some potential, that is.”

Oscar came up next. “Awesome job, Y/N. Seriously. Great overtake at the end there. Perhaps you’ll be my future teammate,” he winked.

You giggled. “Thanks, guys!”

Even Will smiled at you, giving you a thumbs up as you walked over to Lando who was still seated in the other sim, sulking.

“Oh, come on,” you pouted, reaching out your hand, a peace offering. “That was fun, wasn’t it?”

“Sure thing, it was,” he muttered, but he accepted your hand anyway before jumping out of the car. 

When he stood in front of you, he took a moment to look you up and down, a smile slowly creeping onto his face. His ego may have taken quite the blow today, but there was no denying he was also extremely proud of you. Jarv had been right after all, and Lando was happy he hadn’t taken the engineer up on his bet.

He shook his head as if he still couldn’t believe it. “Well, aren’t you full of surprises?”

You shrugged, smiling. “Need to keep things fresh and exciting, don’t I? Otherwise you’ll tire of me in no time.”

“Never,” Lando scoffed, wrapping his arm around your waist and giving your lips a soft peck. “However, as much as I’m proud of you… this footage will never see the light of day.” 

You laughed, your eyes locking with Marion.

She sent you a wink. “We’ll see about that.”

***

a/n: thank you for reading <3 feedback is adored. 

by the way, should i make a taglist for future f1 fics? is that something you’d be interested in? or perhaps for specific drivers? let me know!

also posted on ao3

[gallusrostromegalus]

all the captains and lieutenants accidentally get slipped some of ukitake's fucked up gigaweed edibles, what happens

First of all, it's not an accident, they straight-up plan a Friday-Night-Of-A-Three-Day-Weekend event of this. Everyone is curious, and Ukitake thinks it will be a funny way to celebrate his Birthday. He is correct: Yamamoto: Veteran of The Dank Arts, gets real high but not unpleasantly so. Would do it again next time he has a long weekend to enjoy it!

Sasakibe: Claims Ludwig Wittgenstein makes PERFECT sense now, attempts to write this philosophical revelation down but is thwarted by the jammed machinations of a clicky pen.

Soi Fon: Gives herself a hernia laughing at one (1) bad pun.

Yoruichi: Used to Urahara's Megaweed Edibles, so approaches the Gigaweed with undue confidence, declares This Edible Ain't Shit five minutes in and eats a second one. She has to be coaxed down from the top of the fridge where she's hiding from The Hatmen by bribing her with a can of Tuna. (Ukitake keeps the $21-a-can Good Shit in the house)

Omaeda: Creates a God-teir marinara Sauce, AND has the good sense to have Nemu pause her Game of Go and come into the kitchen to write down what he did.

Rose: Writes a magnificent new symphony, it's his best work ever, it's life alteringly beautiful, it's effervescent- When he sobers up, it's half a piccolo solo that barely qualifies as a ringtone.

Izuru: In the kitchen crying while eating an inadvisable amount of Omaeda's Spaghetti Marinara.

Retsu: Category Five Mukbang Incident

Isane: Thinks she's filming the Mukbang Incident, actually has her phone open to the calculator app.

Shinji: refuses to touch the Gigaweed because he "Owes The Hatmen Money" and nobody can tell if he's joking or not (he's not).

Momo: Literally Everything is HILARIOUS

Hiyori: Did not know it was possible to have a bigger, gayer crush on Momo, but she somehow opened up a new level of lesbianics. She calls it Gay 2.

Byakuya: Couchlocked for 24 hours straight.

Renji: Couchlocked right there with him, but able to text Izuru to bring them Spaghetti.

Komamura: Can't. Canine Weed Toxicity. (Relieved, offers to spend the weekend watching Toshiro and Yachiru so he has an excuse to go winter camping over the weekend)

Iba: Got High as FUCK. Found out later that the thing he actually ate was a Little Debbie Cosmic Brownie.

Shunsui: his alcohol tolerance actually makes his weed tolerance terrible so he's on the floor from jokingly licking the wrapper.

Nanao: Challenging people to knife fights (Romantic Intent).

Tousen: Immediately passes out because he managed to get his blood pressure down to normal levels, sleeps for 26 hours straight and wakes up feeling genuinely well-rested and in a good mood for the first time in two centuries.

Kensei: Gets his hand bitten at the Category 5 Mukbang Incident because he thought it would be funny to try to snitch off Retsu's plate.

Shuuhei: Attempting to refinance Shinji's debt with The Hatmen. Possibly succeeding?

Mashiro: Said "This Edible Ain't Shit", took a second, and appears to be unaffected. Playing Go with Nemu and winning.

Matsumoto: Makes the Hernia-inducing Pun. Will not STOP making Puns.

Hitsugaya: Being babysat by Komamura, would be madder about this if he wasn't also having a blast doing wintertime camping.

Kenpachi: Attempts to fight his own shadow, loses.

Yachiru: Also on the Wintertime Mountain Expedition, trying to talk Toshiro into joining her and Komamura on an Elk Hunt.

Ikkaku: Has done weed before, but only smoked it, but has a naturally suspicious nature and waits to see how Yoruichi does on her second edible, and avoids running afoul of The Hatmen.

Yumichika: Stays sober to collect blackmail on everyone. Actually films the Mukbang Incident for Isane

Mayuri: This is NOTHING compared to the Quantum Formaldymeth shit he's been on for the last century.

Urahara: from a prominent weed-growing family and lifetime connoisseur of The Herb. Takes one bite and realizes he's in deep shit, lies down on the floor next to Shuuhei and gives him terrible financial advice.

Nemu: Not chemically effected by The Edible but she loves A Group Social Activity so she's a little crunk on Social Recognition Euphoria and it's interfering with her game.

Ukitake, peeling his lieutenant off the floor: Y'all are wimps.

Rukia: has to be peeled off the floor, is affectionately dumped in the laps of Renji and Byakuya, where she forces them to have an emotionally honest and borderline normal conversation.

[mylevisdontfitanymore]

A mix of the posts I see about Sebastian bulking for The Apprentice and Chris being in NYC for filming The Materialists have me thinking up my first-ever evanstan nonsense 🥺

I know they're both in long-term relationships now. Chris just got married, I knowwww, but let me wallow in this like a pig in the mud 😭🤣

I'm just saying that it would be awfully convenient for Chris to stay with Sebastian in his New York City apartment while he films... Plus, I would like to think that they already have a relationship going here. It's pre-established. Another thing I see about Sebastian on Tumblr is his submissive tendencies. There are so many signs and they make me all melt. So, they're together for the few months it takes to film The Materialists while Seb is prepping for his own film and they have their low-key dom Chris and sub Seb dynamic going.

Evanstan belly kink weirdness below! Warnings for slight weight-related insecurities (that are quickly smoothed over by Chris), kink discovery, sub!Sebastian/dom!Chris, weight gain, stuffing, etc.

One afternoon on a weekend when neither of them is required to be anywhere, they're just having a slow afternoon in as Seb confesses to Chris, finally, that doing this sugar-heavy diet - shotgunning cokes and snacking seemingly constantly on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches - is kind of awful. He knows he shouldn't pout or complain because he's doing it to himself. He decided to take this film; he's the one who suggested that he physically go for it rather than relying on a fat suit like he did with Lee Bodecker; further, he shouldn't complain because it should be nicer and easier than his usual pre-filming routine. Like, he complains so much about his crazy diets and workout regime for every other role he takes (having defined abs is a job in of itself, after all). So, really, it should be nice to relax and stop restricting so hard. But it isn't.

Seb vents to Chris many more things, too. For example, not only how surprisingly tiring it is, he feels lethargic all the time, but also how much work it is to make room for all this food in his stomach. Even when he was bulking up and waking up in the middle of the night to eat a whole chicken breast, keeping his protein up, he didn't feel like he had to stretch his stomach in the way he has to now. Plus... he's kind of scared, he admits as he fiddles with his shirt, that he won't "bounce back" and if he never looks the way he did before, his career will go south. Hollywood is so vain. Even more frightening is his thoughts that maybe Chris won't like him as much if he can't go back to his old body after this.

Logically, Seb knows most of his thoughts aren't true but he needs someone else to say it back to him to verify those things. He's searching for something, someone in particular, to calm his swirling thoughts.

Chris does more than verify what he needs to hear - that he'll be okay, that it is hard to make such a drastic lifestyle change, that it is challenging to bulk with fat as much as it is to bulk with muscle, he's seen him struggle every day he's been here, and that, of course, his body doesn't matter to him. Seb can look however and Chris is still going to love him. Further, he can look however and he'd still find him sexy as hell. Chris reminds him extensively, until Seb is blushing, how he couldn't keep his hands off of him when he was filming Pam & Tommy and was the tiniest he's ever been, but also how fucking terrible filming Civil War was because all Chris wanted to do was shove Seb into the nearest dressing room and have his way with him rather than reciting lines. Not to mention, of course, every other role with every other body type he's had while they've been together. Chris can't get enough of him, not matter what the shape of his body is. But...

Seeing how pouting Seb is at that moment, Chris wonders out loud if it might help him feel better if this weight gain wasn't just for work. What if it was recreational, too?

Seb doesn't understand at first what Chris means but with more explanation, he does.

Oh.

What Chris means is that what if rather than just having to put on weight for work... what if they played a game like they do in the bedroom where Chris makes the orders up and Seb follows them until he's shivering with the feeling of being obedient and good. Not having any control, ceding it all to his boyfriend, and being praised for his subservience just the way he craves in exchange. In the bedroom, being taken care of how he needs to be, held by the back of the neck, stern, with a voice in his ear, firm and inarguable. Shit, Seb always leaves his body when Chris gets like that with him.

If Seb wants to play, Chris could order him to eat and eat until his stomach aches like he already has been doing. But it will be different because it will be because Chris told him to. And it'll be different, hotter, because if he does what Chris says, Chris can soothe his upset tummy however he sees fit. A reward for following orders. Chris can rub his belly for being a good boy and doing what he told him to. Devouring everything he told him to eat. Chris can kiss the apex of his rounded, stuffed belly and trail hotter, sloppier kisses down until he's hidden behind the taut hill of his stomach, sucking his dick until Seb busts down his throat. Chris can fuck Seb on all fours to let him feel what he did for him, how good he is, his belly hanging and jiggling underneath him without an ounce of shame because he did it for his boyfriend - feeling extra stuffed than he already does when he's fucked by Chris' thick cock.

Not to mention how, if that was the case with Seb eating for him and not some production, when Seb looks in the mirror, rather than being reminded of work and how exhausting it is, he'll be reminded of Chris. He will see his reflection widened, softened, and changed with evidence of what a good boy he is. His boyfriend's marks visible on his body in a way that they usually can't risk - no hickeys or bite marks anywhere that paparazzi can catch. Not even any mark as innocent as holding hands! Further, unlike a hickey, a bite mark, a collar... that weight can't be faded as easy. Chris' mark on him will last.

Chris has always been a little possessive, Seb is familiar with it and often enjoys it seeing as the possessiveness comes out as roughing him up, taking more control, and fucking harder. Ngh. And so, Seb can wrap his brain around why the weight would be sexy to Chris. He can believe him whereas before he was having trouble understanding what about being fat would be sexy to his unbelievably attractive boyfriend. Literally movie-star-hot. Talking like this, he can see it in Chris's eyes - they're locked onto him, the tiniest hint of a smirk on his lips, and one of his eyebrows is raised. His expression turned on and dangerous but with just enough of a question to let Seb know that if he refuses, he won't push or bring it up again and they will go back to normal.

Seb isn't sure if he can go back to normal after those words, though. Jesus.

Evidence of Chris on his body. All over his body. Not something he can take off easily yet something everyone can see. PLUS, God, the thought of Chris rewarding him, giving him treats, to coincide with daily orders? Seb isn't sure he'll survive. He'll be floating through days in a cloud of arousal, he can feel it already, just knowing that he's constantly pleasing his boyfriend, fulfilling his orders.

Possibly it's Seb's background experience of giving up control to Chris and getting his rocks off as a result that's giving this the appeal it has. But maybe... maybe there's something bigger here.

Bigger.

Something bigger like his ass. His ass that's been feeling considerably wider every time Chris can't resist but give him a teasing spank when they pass each other in his tiny apartment or the way he gropes him whenever they fall into bed now, taking handfuls of it. His flesh jiggles now in a way he didn't before and, suddenly, like a switch flipped right here, sitting on the couch with his boyfriend and talking, he's curious about how it would feel for there to be more meat on his bones. More fluff for Chris's big, strong hands to sink into. More to jiggle. He's...

Seb's mouth is dry, feeling like needs a drink. A coke?

He feels abruptly, intensely sexy in his own skin at the same time that he's thinking about getting bigger. Bigger and better to drive Chris insane with, flaunting how he can follow orders eagerly, not just eating as much as he tells him to but relishing in the eating, stuffing himself fast and moaning through bites, begging for belly rubs just to keep him close and have his hands on his body, exploring all the ways he's changing it to satisfy him. Gaining weight faster and faster, all to feel it but especially to hear Chris's praise and moans if he ever gets big enough for Chris to really fuck his pecs when he gets big enough for Chris to fuck his moobs.

Can we just admire how he squirms when he blushes? 🥴

[cevansbrat0007]

Handsy

Summary: Andy always seems to have trouble keeping his hands to himself during your movie nights...

Warnings: Smut, Andy Barber Being a Menace, Oral (fem rec), Wrestling, Edging, Over-stimulation, Funishments, Begging, Manhandling, Light Daddy Kink, Jealous Andy, Cursing, Bad Movie Titles, Questionable Actor Names, Minors DNI

A/N: Part of my ongoing Growing Pains Series. Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are appreciated. All mistakes are my own.

___

“C’mon, baby!” Andy shouts as he sets a bowl of popcorn on the living room coffee table. “You’ve had me waiting in here all by myself for almost an hour!”

“It hasn’t even been fifteen minutes.” You grumble as you wander into the room a few minutes later carrying two glasses. “And I brought you a little something too.” You go to hand him his before leaning down to place a sweet kiss on his soft, full lips. “Consider it a reward for all your patience.” 

“Fuck that.” Comes Andy’s husky growl as he places the drink next to the popcorn. “I need a little more of that sweetness right there.” He tries to capture your mouth again, only to get frustrated when you pull away. 

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” Poking your tongue out at him, you dance over to a nearby armchair. You take a moment to get settled, twisting your body in such a way so that your short legs are hanging over the side. 

“I repeat…” He peeks at you over the rim of glass as he takes a careful sip of the amber liquid, doing his best to keep it from sloshing over the side. “What are you doing?”

You shrug innocently. “Um, I’m about to watch a movie with my man. Now, stop playing and hit start already.” A light thrum of anticipation has you practically bouncing in your seat as you wait for the opening credits to roll. 

You’d been dying to see A Dark New World for ages – you had always been a sucker for a good alien invasion flick! 

“No.” 

You’re in the middle of reaching for your Shiraz when you hear him utter that one terrible word. 

No? What the hell did he mean, "no"?

“Andrew, sweetheart, please start the movie.” Pursing your lips, you cast him a sideways glance, attempting to gauge whether he’s being serious or not. 

“No.” Your man stubbornly grunts again before crossing his thick arms across his broad chest, prompting a low growl from you.

You’d already missed out on seeing this in theaters. And you would be damned before you’d allow yourself to be denied again whilst in your own home. Well, not “yours” technically, since you were spending the evening at Andy’s. 

But your man was really pushing for you to think of his place as being yours too. It had been almost impossible to miss the smile on his face the first time you had slipped up and accidentally referred to his space as “home”. 

That, however, was a story for another time. 

“Honey…please don’t do this to me right now. Because I can promise you that if I don’t see my favorite actor, Lloyd Evans-Drysdale, running across this screen” – you gesture at the television mounted on the opposite wall – “in the next five seconds, there will be hell to pay.”

Andy lifts one tawny brow in challenge. “I’m not doing a damned thing until you get your little ass over here where you, and it, belong.” He briefly uncrosses his arms long enough to pat his lap. 

Oh hell no! You weren’t falling for that one again.

“As inviting as that sounds, I’m afraid I’ll have to pass.” 

Maybe if you rushed him right now, you could take him by surprise and snatch the remote before he even knew what was happening.

As if anticipating your move, Andy slightly widens his stance, his palms coming to rest on his muscled thighs. “Why?” The impatient growl rumbles out from somewhere deep in his chest.  

“Oh, Andy Bear…” You offer him a strained smile as you begin to stretch, starting with the smallest, most unassuming poses you can manage so as to avoid arousing further suspicion. “I think we both know why.”

Okay, new plan. Obviously, you knew he’d already rented the film. And you had the login for his Amazon committed to memory. At this point, you weren’t above locking yourself in the bathroom and streaming the fucking thing on your phone. 

“I’m afraid I don’t.” Oops. Someone was beginning to sound awfully grumpy. 

“Ha!” A snort bubbles its way out of your throat before you can stop it. “You always get super handsy every time we try to watch something together. Yeah, I said it.”

Andy’s gorgeous blue eyes widen in surprise at your calling him out over his apparent inability to keep his hands to himself.  

“That’s right.” You continue as you stand up, ignoring the fact your man is growing increasingly unhappier by the second. “Happens every fucking time, buddy. You are an absolute menace. And normally I don’t mind, but this time Evans-Drysdale is involved, so…”

“Who even still gives a fuck about that guy?” He scoffs. “Thought he went and retired or some shit.”

You forgot just how touchy your boyfriend could be whenever you threw his fictional rival in the mix. In fact, you’d learned a long time ago that you were better off not even mentioning him at all. Especially not in bed.

Never ever mention Lloyd Evans-Drysdale while in bed with Andrew Barber. Because doing so might result with you being edged within an inch of your life. 

“I do!” You exclaim, suddenly feeling the need to defend the man who had, at one time, been the star of practically all of your fantasies – that is, until you’d met and fallen for your sweet Andy Bear. “And what’s not to love about him? He’s a great performer, he does all his own stunts, he loves dogs, and –” 

“And here I thought he was just some over-hyped actor who was allergic to shirts.” Andy mumbles into his bourbon before taking a drink. “My mistake.” His eyes you warily as you begin to approach him.

All you wanted was to get your hands on the fucking remote and put an end this madness!

“Big Man, can we please play the movie now? Pretty please?” You offer him your best pout as you reach out your hand, intending to swipe the controller from his grip. “With sugar on top?”

“Is this what you want?” Andy holds the device above his head, dangling it just out of reach. “This thing right here? 

“Gimme!” And then you lunge – letting out a rather impressive battle cry. 

But then the handsome bastard dodges, sending you crashing into his much bigger body.

“OOF!” You both grunt at the same time as the force of the impact sends you sprawling backwards on the couch in a tangled heap. Believing him to be stunned, you decide to embrace your inner spider monkey and shimmy your way up his torso. 

“I said gimme, damn it!” You hiss as the two of you continue to grapple for the remote. Out of instinct, and desperate for a win, your teeth find their way into his shoulder. And then you bite down.

Hard. 

“Ow!” You shriek when one of Andy’s hands manages to connect with your ass with a sharp crack.

You release him, only to do it again, this time digging your fingers into his side, pinching him with verve and vigor. 

“Fucking brat!” He snarls, flipping your positions as he expertly wrestles your flailing limbs. “Hold still before I – ouch! Stop fucking pinching me, little girl!”

Instead of responding, you go to hook your leg around his trim waist so that you can try to maneuver him on his back once more. But that quickly proves damn near impossible since you’re dealing with two hundred twenty-something pounds of solid freaking muscle!

“Quit now, Barber, and we can end this whole thing peacefully!” You give up on pinching him in favor of going for his beautiful face, squeezing his jaw with just enough force to make him look ridiculous. “C’mon! I just want a couple of hours to quietly lust after my favorite movie star! Is that really too much to ask, you gorgeous hobgoblin?! Argh!”

“Hell yeah, it is! Cuz' if you think that I’m gonna just sit idly by and watch my as my lady drools over some fucking muscle-bound dimwit who probably can't string two sentences together...then you are dead wrong, baby girl.” Andy manages to shake off your hold before nipping at your hand, making you yelp. 

“There’s nothing wrong with a little, safe objectification every now and again, my darling Andrew!”

“I think you’re missing a very important fucking piece here, sweetheart.” He growls, blocking you when your knee almost grazes his goods. Fed up with your squirming, he relaxes his body so that he’s laying on top of you – making you to take his full weight. And then he makes surprisingly quick work of capturing your hands, pinning them above your head with minimal effort.

“Damn it, Andy!” You shriek as you struggle in his hold, bucking your hips this way and that. He decides to repay you tenfold by grinding his rapidly hardening cock against your panty covered pussy. “Why must you always be so freaking difficult?!”

You knew you should’ve put on a pair of shorts before joining movie night. And maybe some sweats. Or, perhaps, a whole goddamned snowsuit! 

You force yourself to bite back yet another moan as Andy continues to torment you with his exaggerated, lazy thrusts, reveling in your helplessness. 

“Because you’re mine, woman.” His free hand goes to grip your chin, making it impossible for you to break his captivating gaze. “And the only fucking man that my woman is allowed to lust after, long for, and/or safely objectify is me. That’s it. And I refuse to fucking share you.”

You go to reply, only to be caught off guard when his eager mouth slants possessively over yours. And he doesn’t hold back as his tongue sweeps past your lips. Andy groans into the kiss, taking his sweet time while he seeks to conquer every last shred of free will you own.

“God, Andy! I–I…” You rasp as he trails a series of savage love bites along the delicate curve of your jaw before nibbling his way down your throat. “Shit!”

“You know better than to forget who you fucking belong too, baby girl.” His fingers weave their way under the thin fabric of your t-shirt to cup your breast, molding and kneading your sensitive flesh. “And then you tried to withhold your cuddles.” His sharp teeth nip and suck at your pulse point. You had little doubt that you’d be covered in his marks by the end of the night. “All over some limp-dicked prick named Drysdale.”    

A soft whimper catches in your throat as the pad of his thumb begins toying with your nipple, his sensual ministrations making you shiver.

God, your man was good with his hands. Fucking menace to society!

“Apologize.” Andy whispers as he returns his attention to your mouth, letting his plush lips skim over yours in one featherlight kiss after another. “Tell me you’re sorry for attempting to deprive me of all these luscious curves, when you know full well that I like to have a little something to hold onto during our movie nights.” 

“I…I…ooh!” You whine when his hand leaves your cleavage to slip between your thighs so he can lightly pinch your aching clit. “Fuck, I’m sorry, Daddy!” He enjoys the sound of your apology so much that he does it again, and this time it’s accompanied by a dark chuckle. 

The fucking sadist! 

“I’m sure you are, sweet girl.” Your man hums before finally moving to sit up, taking you with him. “But I’m afraid you’re gonna have to do better than that if you expect me to sit through this shitty film after all this.”

Having said that, Andy then gently deposits you next to him on the couch before standing up.

“Show me how bad you want to watch your little movie, baby. Prove to me you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make me happy again.” 

Heaving a small, breathy sigh, you slide your thumbs into the waistband of your panties -- slowly sliding them down your hips before letting them hit the carpeted floor below. Your boyfriend’s nostrils flare as his hungry eyes stray to your weeping cunt. 

“Keep going, princess. Be my good girl and give Daddy what he wants.” Comes Andy’s downright devilish purr. Wanting desperately to comply, you spread your thighs wide in a sweet, submissive offering. “There we go.”

Of course you allow him to look his fill. And only when he’s satisfied does he finally hit “play”.  

“Thank you.” You murmur as your focus briefly turns to the television, but at no point do you attempt to close your legs. You had a feeling that your Big Man was nowhere near finished with you. 

At least not yet. 

His wicked grin letting you know that you’re about to earn every minute of the entertainment you’d been pushing for all evening. 

___

One Hour Later…

“Ungh!” Your muffled cry splits the air as another spasm rocks you, effectively drowning out whatever the hell was happening on screen. “Oh, God – please!” Your hips jerk of their own volition as Andy continues to feast on your quivering pussy.

“I’m not gonna tell you again.” He snarls from his place between your parted thighs. “You’re the one who complained about my being too handsy, so that means you had better do a good job of holding yourself open for me.” His harsh tone brooks no room for argument while he watches you struggle to keep your tired arms hooked under your knees -- a thin sheen of sweat coating your skin as your entire body begins to tremble once more.   

His thick fingers dig into the material of his couch cushions as he goes back to enjoying his meal, humming in pleasure as his tongue traces feverish circles over your pulsating clit again and again. 

“I know, baby girl. I know.” Andy briefly pauses long enough to blow a cool puff of air across your overstimulated bundle of nerves. “But remember you brought this on yourself.”

“Fuckfuckfuck!” You hiss as your eyes threaten to roll into the back of your head, your empty walls greedily clenching around nothing.

“You better not – don’t you dare cum!” He orders, even as he feels you threatening to shatter into a million beautifully broken pieces.  

But it’s too fucking late.

Part of the reason you hated when Andrew used edging as a punishment was because you had such a hard time behaving for him. You almost always came without permission, no matter how hard you tried to fight it.

And unfortunately, this time is no exception. 

A hoarse sob spills from your throat as you spiral into bliss, unable to stop the surge of white hot electricity as it courses through your veins.

“Nooo!” You wail as you attempt to scramble away from his tender assault. "Please, no more!" But your handsome tormentor proves to be much too fast for the likes of a little brat like you.

“Well,” Andy murmurs, leveling you with a disappointed gaze before picking up the remote and restarting the movie. “I guess we’ll just have to try this again. And since you can't seem to cooperate…” He wraps his powerful biceps around your thighs, trapping you in his fervid embrace. 

“Looks like Daddy’s gonna have to use his hands after all, huh?”

Well, fuck!

END

[princeanon]

I made a modern adaptation of some R&J scenes (2.4 and 3.1) for a film project, and just had to share some of my favorite moments, in no particular order

“Queen Mab get to you again?”

- Benvolio, to Mercutio

The film was called Queen Mab, and it’s centered around Mercutio, with an emphasis on his dreams and hints to a time loop situation?

There was SO MUCH DOMESTIC BENCUTIO YOU HAVE NO IDEa

Like, Ben wakes Mercutio up and calls him sUnShiNe before handing him water

Also, he calls Mercutio “Merc” a few times throughout the film

All of the characters names are shortened in the script purely because I didn’t want to type them every time (Tybalt=Ty, Benvolio=Ben, Mercutio=Merc, Romeo=Ro, and Juliet was just Juliet)

Ben is CONSTANTLY checking his phone for texts from Romeo like he’s so worried poor guy

Meanwhile Merc is tormenting him

“I can see it now:

Here lies Romeo. Died from being left on read.”

- Mercutio, about Romeo’s crush on Rosaline

Ben extends an arm to Merc as they leave, and he takes it before grabbing his dagger

When they go to find Romeo, Ben brings a notebook with him that disappears once the Merc and Tybalt fight starts

Ben is wearing a shirt that says “MERCUTIO IS MY HOMEBOY”

a necklace with a purple gem (👀)

a cute blue and green jacket

and a beanie that does not fit properly at all

Meanwhile Merc is wearing a purple MIT shirt

When Ben and Merc spot Romeo, they hide behind a tree like those classic cartoons where you can only see their upper half sticking out of the tree

Our Romeo & Juliet were in a production of Sound of Music together as Maria and Von Trapp respectively so when I told them to act in love in the distance, they just started doing the Laendler choreography

Ben shows Tybalt’s “challenge” for Romeo to Merc via his phone, which implies that Tybalt texted Benvolio and was like “hey man can you let your cousin know I wanna fight him?”

We needed a shot of our Tybalt appearing behind Ben & Merc, and Ty was insistent that he climb a nearby tree and jump out of it

That shot took 15+ takes before we even got to his part, so he spent the better part of half an hour sitting in a tree waiting for his queue.

He jumped down too early during one take and had to re-climb the tree

Merc boops Ben several times throughout the film, and we had a few very flirtatious takes that didn’t make the Final Cut because we kept breaking character

“Careful, Good Benvolio, your irrefutable temper is showing”

- Merc to Ben when he complains about Romeo’s terrible decision-making skills

He calls him “Benny boy”

During one take, he accidentally said “bunny boy” and I told him he could definitely do that purposely if he wanted

Tybalt had recently done a production of R&J, so he asked to add the “peace be with you” line into the script, which I 100% supported, we spent a while during the shoot just quoting R&J back and forth, and he noticed all of my references in the script

Romeo was instructed to enter the Tybalt scene after a specific line, so he hid around the corner and FULLY RAN into the scene yelling “GUYS GUYS YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT I—“

Romeo is taller than both Ben and Merc, and he almost tackles both during his entrance

Oh my gosh Romeo and Tybalt have some kind of bromance going on IRL which is so fun but it was so difficult to get the two of them to pay attention because they were just hanging out with each other

Romeo had a line that goes “woah, Tybalt, calm down” and instead he said “Yoooo, Tybalt, chill out man” which made all of us break

When Tybalt confronts Romeo, you can hear a bird in the background, that stops the second Ty pulls out his dagger, which was accidental but iconic

I choreographed a sword fight, but Merc and Ty mostly improvised, they had a lot of fun

Our Juliet filmed the whole scene by the way, along with most of the other scenes

Also, in the script she had one line, in which she was supposed to say something with the word Capulet, and she kept joking to everyone that she was already off book

I ended up cutting the line for convenience and plot purposes, sorry Jules 😭

“Capulet”

- Not Juliet, since the line got cut

Romeo & Juliet joked about going to marriage counseling after they were struggling to film one of the scenes (J on camera, R with the boom mic)

They traded jobs after J accidentally filmed R for the entire take

In between shots, Ty and Merc were stabbing mushrooms with their daggers, Romeo was throwing rocks at a spider, and Juliet and I were just like, watching all of it happen

We had fake blood for Merc to put on his hand, and it ended up staining his hand so he spent like 10 minutes washing it off afterwards

When Merc dies, Ben holds his hand and rests his face against Merc’s head (also, he fully dies in Ben’s lap)

Then we went back and filmed the first scene and lemme tell you Mercutio is iconic but he was so so so bad at waking up

He kept asking me “how am I supposed to wake up???? How does one wake up scared???” And I was like “I don’t know man!!!!!”

Some lines taken directly from the play include “Romeo, my cousin Romeo!” (2.1) “A challenge, on my life” (2.4) “Come sir, your passado” (3.1) and of course, “Peace be with you” (3.1)

Also, Merc still calls Ty a ratcatcher, and Ty calls out to Ben and Merc by saying gentlemen

Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Took 4 hours of filming for a 4 minute long film, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I played Benvolio by the way. Probably should have mentioned that sooner.

[therentyoupay]

“Jack—“ she sighs softly, and he startles when she stands, the blankets shifting and pooling onto the cushions of the couch. She brushes a few strands of hair behind her ear as she edges closer and tries to ignore the way he stiffens in obvious discomfort when she stops just a few paces away. “I’m sorry—Anna and I can easily move ourselves over to my apartment for the night. It’s really no problem.”

He tries to shutter his emotions by glancing quickly to the door, pretending like he might be mulling it over or thinking of what to say, but before he can cover himself completely, Elsa witnesses a quick flash of an emotion that she hadn’t been expecting. As realization dawns, Elsa feels inexcusably rude for presuming so much with so little knowledge of who he is, and for automatically believing that the best way to fix this miscommunication would be the solution that she herself might have wanted.

“Or,” she adds, because even as she curses her inability to simply let the man speak, she simply can’t help herself. (He just usually has so much more to say?) “This might sound rather bizarre, considering that this living space is half yours, but… you’re more than welcome to join us, of course. If you’d like.”

Jack cracks a smile at that, and Elsa feels her chest begin to warm with the start of what could hopefully amount to a satisfying end after such a disastrous start.

“For girls’ night?” he clarifies, clearly amused.

Elsa finds herself crossing her arms—a behavioral pattern that has erupted so frequently in Jack’s presence that it’s beginning to feel a little too familiar. (She usually prefers to keep her hands clasped gently at her front; over the years, she’s found that it helps her appear more approachable, but with Jack, she seems to keep fighting to find a hundred and one different ways to keep her distance, at least when he gets like this.) As Jack’s grin grows more genuine—more amused—Elsa feels her heart begin to hammer, defensive and alert. Her crossed arms tighten, and Elsa chides herself for getting so easily caught up in such a childish moment again. She does not want to pick up any poor habits, especially now.

And yet.

“For the newly-discovered tradition of Christmas Eve Eve,” Elsa declares, arms crossed, with all the regal austerity of an official royal verdict… not to mention the mischievous gleam of a woman who is at least three years his senior. There is a striking amount of challenge that she has let seep into these words, and Elsa hopes (believes) that her bait will take hold; Jack is by no means a predictable creature, but in many ways, he is still very much a friendly (lonely), cocky (humble) young man.

It has not escaped Elsa’s notice that he’s made no mention of his supposed plans to visit family. 

“I’m no master brewer of hot chocolate like Anna is,” Elsa warns, as if he’s already given his answer, “and we may not share the same tastes in holiday films, but I hardly think it’s a terrible way to spend an evening.”

Jack laughs, easily, and his hand slides over his face with the most interesting mix of reluctance and curiosity and pleasantry she has ever seen. He seems just as hesitant to accept her offer as he is dying to snatch it up.

“I don’t know,” he admits, with an air so unlike his usual bravado that it makes her heart stutter, just a bit. “You sure you want me hanging around your sisterly-bonding time? That stuff’s important, isn’t it?”

He is being purposely flippant, but his curiosity is so earnest and so unsure that a new flood of thoughts and concerns slip into Elsa’s mind. What, really, had he intended for this evening? Had he told Anna the truth about leaving early for the holidays since she’d claimed to be doing the same? Where had he been planning to go… if anywhere? They are worrisome questions, but perhaps not yet within her right.

————

start from the beginning of livable 🎄🎁❤️

[onesafezone]

a study in portamis (2023 martin bourboulon's ver)

it took me two days and one night to get my own version of terrible clickbait what actually happened in the 'milady' about the whole promising portamis thing (whatever it was).

this post contains film spoilers! no, i'm serious, SPOILER ALERT. (i know the film hasn't been released in all countries yet, so if you haven't seen 'milady', please decide whether you want to read this or not).

my post is dedicated to all the people who have seen 'the three musketeers: milady' or found out about what was going to happen in the film and were heartbroken (for obvious reasons), so I couldn't sleep until the morning, but I did find out why /spoiler, spoiler, SPOILER/ porthos decided to marry aramis's pregnant sister.

yes, i know. it will take me a moment to experience that as well.

OK, here's what we've got. the simplest explanation is this: porthos is flirting with aramis' sister in the camp because he is bored/he wants sex/he wants to flirt/etc. yes, this characterisation portrays him as a frivolous character, but what if this is a fallacy? what if there is still love for aramis in his actions and i can prove it?

___________________________________________________________

i started by formulating the three main reasons why i can't agree with the 'i don't care who i seduce' version of porthos.

first of all: the events of the film unfold very quickly. in the first part, it was made clear to us that porthos has no shortage of lovers. we saw his bed once, and it was warmed for him by both man and woman. he also said that he doesn't sleep with fools, which is not to be taken literally. in any case, this gives us the idea that he has his own standards, that he will not sleep with the first person he meets to quench his thirst. yes, he examined d'artagnan from head to toe, but did he drag him into bed? in general, he knows how to stop and he will be able to restrain himself if the situation demands it.

second reason: you can throw a stone at me, but I swear that his lover in the awakening scene looks a lot like aramis. no, it's not because this man has a beard or curly hair like aramis. there's something in his jaw, his features are built like the aramis-coded type of man. you know what i mean. porthos' lover is literally not d'artagnan-coded, not athos-coded. his lover has a certain type of body/face build. and that type is the same as his best friend's. this is no coincidence.

so, having worked out why i just couldn't accept the fact that porthos suddenly fell in love with a girl (aramis' sister, i'm not going to hinting at anything… because i'm saving the last reason for the finale), i asked myself: why did he decide to get involved? what drove him?

here is my answer:

when aramis received a note from his mother telling him that his sister was pregnant, he immediately changed his face and went to see her. at the same time, porthos immediately noticed the change in his friend's face and tried to call aramis, but aramis did not answer. what did porthos do? without further ado, he immediately went after aramis.

micro-conclusion: he cares about aramis' feelings, he cares about him and he wants to help him.

OK, let's move on. we know how the episode of portamis meeting matilda's fiancé ended: zero result. literally. apart from the fact that the bastard was hit by a cannonball, the meeting had no result. again, what was porthos doing at the time? he asked aramis what he was going to do. he predicted that aramis would challenge an arrogant and dishonest groom to a duel. spoiler alert: he was right. where are his 1000 ecu?? ok, i'm kidding. but here are the facts: he looks after aramis again, tries to cheer him up. and from their conversations it's clear how well he knows aramis.

let's keep going. we're almost there!

porthos has been excluded from scenes involving athos or d'artagnan (let's ignore the scenario that made this happen). at first glance, it would seem that he was not involved in his friends' affairs for no reason. but no, he was wounded (there was a scene in the camp where he was leaning on a crutch) and drunk. in fact, we got a scene where aramis holds a dead drunk porthos, who relieves himself, by the cape, without feeling disgust. what do i mean by that? while aramis, athos and d'artagnan were chasing after milady, porthos, who had remained in the military camp, had time to think carefully about everything. in both sober and drunk mind.

yes, porthos is not as tricky as aramis. and not as cold-blooded as athos. he sees the problem: aramis is very upset that someone has dishonoured his sister. had it not been for an accidental death, the would-be bridegroom would have lived and not taken matilda as his wife, for to him she was obviously a one-time entertainment. aramis is upset, he is sad, and how can porthos help? (yes, he comforted matilda by giving her a made-up explanation, as if her fiancé had been a hero and had saved aramis and porthos from a cannonball, but that was not enough, it only solved the problem temporarily). how to end all this? what can he do? matilda is pregnant, she is not rich, no one loves her, he tells himself that he can do this, he can offer her his hand and his heart, and he will save her (and aramis). it will make his best friend happy again. this is the right thing to do. they will be more than brothers. isn't that the best scenario? aramis will be happy and they will become a family.

attention, now it's time to announce the third fact that doesn't allow me to bury my portamis hopes: when porthos talks to aramis about this decision, aramis doesn't look happy at all.

moreover, his face was masked in confusion.

the scene also ends with them unable to talk about it. porthos is taken away by aramis's sister, his future wife, and all goes well. aramis should be happy. but why isn't he? and porthos, too.

something tells me that this is because his subconscious chooses lovers for him who are similar to aramis, because he tries to make aramis happy, because he cares for him, because he wants the best for him, because he loves him.

i think at that moment, when the words of the forthcoming wedding are heard and there is a sad atmosphere between them, like at a funeral, they both think that maybe all this time their feelings for each other were something more.

[ncisladaily]

Jeff Kober has thrived on playing the baddie for much of his long career. The prolific actor has almost 150 credits to his name with stops on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The X Files, Walker, Texas Ranger, The Walking Dead, New Girl, and NCIS: Los Angeles to name a few. Then there are more regular roles like Jacob Hale Jr. on Sons of Anarchy, Sgt. Dodger Winslow on China Beach, and most recently, on General Hospital where he won an Emmy for his portrayal of shady Cyrus Renault.

Next up is the pool shark thriller Break, where he takes on the role of pool hall hustler “The Hand” Jimmy. In the film, he looks to stand in the way of Eli (Daniel Weiss), the hotshot son of a former rival, from honoring his legendary dad and former rival’s legacy. Here the veteran actor talks about the project and reminisces about some of his favorite parts.

After all this time, how is it being that go-to bad guy? 

Jeff Kober: I don’t know. It is interesting, but I enjoy working. What I’m trying to do these days is humanize everyone. Even if they’re not terribly nice people based on the story being told. They can’t be all bad. What’s human about that? That’s fascinating. So you’re not ever acting. You’ve built some type of world you’re living through. As a natural result of your belief system, this is what happens.

You’re the bad guy in Break. What stands out about Jimmy to you? 

What I liked about him was it was such a specific world. So foreign to anything I’ve experienced, except bits here and there. I was in a carnival for a while as a younger man and that character would have fit well in the carnival. Someone lost a wallet on a ride. The carny who ran that ride and the carny who ran the ride next to it argued not about who got to turn in the wallet back to the person who lost it but who got the money that was in it. I didn’t understand those kind of people then. Now I kind of do to find my way in and what it would take for me to be like that. This is what made the role so fascinating to me.

How much of a pool player were you beforehand? 

I played a lot of pool in bars as a younger man. I once was beaten I think 17 times in a row by Megan Branman, a casting director in Hollywood. So I was a moderately okay pool player. I enjoy the sport, but I am never able to play even remotely like in the movie. I got an evening of lessons. This guy just corrected a couple of things for me and suddenly a whole new world opened up for me. That was amazing.

What did you make of the environment the film takes place, gritty Detroit? 

We’re seeing it everywhere today. People are frightened of so many different things. They are struggling to behave in a way with respect to themselves. They may be following the fear and doing things they don’t respect. Like when Eli decides to bet all the money he was saving for his sister’s education. That’s not out of a sense of love and compassion and wanting to do the right thing. That’s out of the terror of I can’t be shown up like this. I can’t have my ego smashed like this. We all have those challenges every day. I just look at it as is this the ego working here or the truth working here and are they aware there is a difference? Those are the questions that occur to me.

How was it sharing the screen with Darren Weiss as Eli? 

With Darren, he stepped up and met me. We really play in that area of wanting to beat each other in the script. I’m really proud of what he did in this.

It has been more than 35 years since China Beach hit the airwaves. How do you look back on the show today?

I know it didn’t come out to watch easily over the years when so many others came out because of the music rights that were so spread out. It was impossible to get permission from that many music companies and have it make sense to make it commercially available. I love the fact people are still moved by it. Everyone was trying to do the best they could in order to honor the women and men we were representing. That’s really special when you get to do a job like that.

A lot of times shows will get canceled without getting a formal goodbye, but China Beach was lucky enough to have one. A touching one at that. 

I’m grateful we did in the end show these characters accelerated forward and what it was like to visit the Vietnam Veterans Memorial wall in Washington D.C. This was very special, especially for me who have been around many Vietnam veterans. I still have Vietnam veteran friends in my life and see what they had and lost and the rebuilding process that had to occur. I really feel that China Beach was a part of opening up the consciousness of the U.S. Like, “Hey something happened here, and we’ve been ignoring it. Wake up.”

These days a lot of viewers know you from the soap opera world on General Hospital. How is it to step in and out of Port Charles as Cyrus? A role that won you a Daytime Emmy Award. 

It’s more like being a sprinter than a distance runner. You have to be ready to go. You have to be ready to jump in any direction because you don’t know who you’re going to be from one week to the next until you look at a script. You never get to see where that script fits into the larger fabric of the story they’re telling. It’s a hoot because it’s jumping into the unknown.

Cyrus has been through a lot. What do you make of his evolution? Where do you see this character going in the future on the show? 

It started out as a short gig. Whatever happened, they decided to keep me on a little longer. So they made me the mysterious half-brother of Genie Francis’ character [Laura Spencer]. They wrote this evil criminal as someone who is broken and needs his mother’s love. I was like, “How do you play that? I guess we’ll find out.” It was so much fun to do that. Then they sent him away to prison and he found Jesus, or did he? For me, it’s always about finding what’s the most interesting and grounded and most passionate perspective this character can have in a given time. They keep you guessing on that show. What he has come around to now, and being holier than now. The last time I saw him he was saying, “I got to work on myself before I tell anyone else how to do this.” Don’t you wish more people in the world realized that?

You’ve been in the shoes of a lot of characters. What are some of your favorites? For me, The Claimers leader on The Walking Dead has to be included. 

Joe on The Walking Dead was fantastic because it was so rich. The people I worked with were also just fantastic. I would have done anything on that show for as long as they wanted me to.

What a way Joe went though. 

It was the best death in the show up to that point I think. The last line for him was just great, “What the hell are you gonna do now sport?” Just amazing. I loved China Beach, too. The people, we’re brothers and sisters. We left a mark on all of our lives. A lot of us were really beginning our careers when we did that. It holds a place that will never be touched by anything else. I’ve had really exciting experiences. I had a run on NCIS: Los Angeles. I got to work intimately with Linda Hunt. That was otherworldly. There was an intimacy with her and strength in her work. She is like a national treasure. I can always tell how wonderful someone’s talent is when you just get in their face. They go, “Oh, someone is here.” Then they just jump in themselves. They did this.

Jeff Kober and Linda Hunt (Henrietta “Hetty” Lange) in NCIS: Los Angeles (Bill Inoshita/CBS Broadcasting, Inc.)

One of my favorite turns for you was also when you were on New Girl as this curmudgeon of a landlord. During the rewatch podcast “Welcome to Our Show” the cast revealed a few years ago that Bruce Willis was almost cast as Remy. You made it your own though. 

It was a hoot. I actually did a movie with Jake Johnson that is on Hulu now called Self Reliance. He wrote this character with me in mind. Then right around Christmas, I did his podcast where they give advice for people on really stupid things. We were reminiscing about the characters almost doing this threesome. I was in my underwear and cowboy boots. We shot the scene many times, and every time I would come up with a different yoga pose or something I’d be doing when they came to me like reading a book or spraying aftershave in my private areas. They give you free rein to be crazy. That was a gas.

[invisibleicewands]

A mum shouldn’t have to go to her child’s funeral’: Sharon Horgan and Michael Sheen on making moving TV

f Best Interests – a drama about a mother who takes the NHS to court after doctors decide to allow her teenage daughter to die – feels too harrowing to countenance, you’re not alone: even the cast can’t bring themselves to watch it. “It was hard enough doing it on the day,” says Sharon Horgan of playing Nicci, the mother in question. Michael Sheen, who co-stars as her husband Andrew – a man devastated by his daughter’s illness but unwilling to back his wife’s appeal – is also avoiding it. “I’m more nervous than usual,” he admits. “I know it’s going to be a difficult watch.”

That’s an understatement. Best Interests begins with Nicci and Andrew on a train, giddily happy, slightly frisky and, as we soon realise, uncharacteristically carefree. Over the next four hours, we see their relationship falter under the pressure of caring for their younger daughter Marnie (Niamh Moriarty) who has muscular dystrophy, as consultants tell them her condition has progressed beyond all medical intervention – something that leads Nicci to mount a headline-grabbing, life-upending legal challenge. It’s little wonder Horgan had doubts about taking the role in the first place. “I was really nervous about how much this was going to fuck me up,” she says. It ended up being as crushing as she feared. “We spent a lot of time in terrible pain. You have to go to some really awful places to get yourself into that mindset and stay there. Sometimes you come home and go: ‘What kind of a weird job is this?’”

And yet – and this is the caveat that makes the show not simply a gruelling experience, but a life-affirming and thoroughly absorbing one – Best Interests is also very funny. There is droll banter about crisps in waiting rooms, there are silly jokes about knickers and, after the unthinkable finally happens, there is daft familial teasing. “People will be put through the wringer,” says Horgan. “But we want this to feel like a real family, and in real families – even when they are in the worst possible situation – people laugh.” That said, desolation is never far away: at one point, Andrew is reading The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole at Marnie’s bedside when an inadvertently pertinent passage prompts a flood of tears: at moments such as these, the show dances between comedy and tragedy in a remarkable way. Thankfully, it is not quite the slapstick affair it could have been. “I remember doing a very stupid dance at one point, I don’t know if that’s still in?” Sheen asks tentatively. I tell him it’s not ringing any bells. “That probably means it’s not there, so that’s good!”

Instead we have Sheen’s Andrew as a slouchy, goofy beta male, who enjoys 90s indie and the odd spliff, and is an expert teller of comfortingly lame dad jokes (such is the casual majesty of Sheen’s performance, he has already won the best actor award at French TV festival Series Mania). Horgan is equally brilliant as Nicci, a weary but awe-inspiringly on-it woman suffused with the actor’s trademark wincingly honest wit. While Sheen is a garlanded dramatic actor who was well established in theatre before becoming film-star famous in the 00s for his exceptional impersonations (Tony Blair, David Frost, Brian Clough, Kenneth Williams), Horgan is still best known for her pioneering TV comedy. From gritty sitcom Pulling to dramedy Catastrophe and recent hit Bad Sisters, she is now a giant of the genre; as a serious actor, however, her career is only just taking off. “If you’re known for comedy, people don’t generally throw a lot of dramas at you,” she says.

In 2021, she was a revelation in pandemic drama Together, written by her Pulling co-creator Dennis Kelly, yet Horgan feels Nicci is her “most dramatically led role” – another reason she’s not keen to watch it back. “I just don’t want to get all hypercritical on myself. I did it – there’s nothing I can do about it now!” Horgan says she has always wanted to do comedy and drama simultaneously, and is happy the genre binaries are melting away. “Back in the day I used to do a lot more sitcom-style shows, and now it blends a lot: a lot of dramas are really funny and a lot of comedies … aren’t,” she says, dissolving into laughter at her damning critique of the current comedy landscape. “What I mean is some of my favourite things, like The Bear, there’s not many laughs in it.”

I speak to Horgan and Sheen separately over Zoom – the former perched on her bed, the latter bearded and avuncular in a tartan shirt, sitting in his office in Margam Park near Port Talbot, where he’s about to direct BBC drama The Way. (So idyllic are his surroundings that he pauses to show me two gambolling baby deer from his window.) They may be miles apart, but the pair are very much on the same page when it comes to Best Interests. Instead of meticulously researching the kind of media circus court cases that inspired the drama (the 2017 case of Charlie Gard being perhaps the most famous example), they opted to come to the action unschooled, as they imagine Nicci and Andrew would have been. And while both were left awed by the parents with disabled children they met – “I just don’t know how I would have the strength in that situation,” says Horgan – they ended up drawing primarily on their own personal experiences.

Sheen found himself recalling his own family history while thinking about the cosmic horror of losing a child. “My grandmother’s son – my uncle – died of cancer while she was still alive. I always remember her saying a mother should not have to go to her child’s funeral. That just shouldn’t happen.” He was also reckoning with anxieties of his own. During the filming of the show, Sheen’s partner Anna Lundberg was pregnant with their second child and the due date was fast approaching. Then the pregnancy turned out to be “not completely straightforward”, Sheen says. “There were some fears about our unborn baby, and if there are any kinds of complications or worries that really weighs on you.” The stress filtered into his performance, especially when it came to the heartbreaking flashback scenes in which a six-month-old Marnie’s bewildered parents receive her diagnosis.

For Horgan, Nicci’s story was incredibly close to home. “My kid had meningitis when she was young,” she says (Horgan has two teenage daughters with her ex-husband, businessman Jeremy Rainbird). “While we thought we might lose her – as I was watching them trying to find a vein and get some antibiotics into her – I remember thinking: ‘I don’t care what happens – like, take off her limbs, whatever you need to do – just keep her alive.’”

In Best Interests, the story of Nicci, Andrew and Marnie (plus elder daughter Katie, played with mild insolence by Conversations With Friends’ Alison Oliver) doesn’t exist in a vacuum. In recent years, writer Jack Thorne – one of the most respected figures in British TV – has dedicated himself to making programmes about people with disabilities, partly because of his own struggles: he suffered from a debilitating long-term illness in his 20s, and was recently diagnosed with autism. In 2021 he made Help, which starred Jodie Comer as a carer looking after a man with early-onset Alzheimer’s (Stephen Graham) in the pandemic, and last year he created Then Barbara Met Alan, a one-off drama about the founders of the Disabled People’s Direct Action Network, a protest group fighting for disabled people’s rights.

According to Sheen and Horgan, Thorne’s advocacy for disabled people permeated the entire shoot. The cast was populated by actors with disabilities: Moriarty, who has a form of cerebral palsy called spastic diplegia, is joined by Lenny Rush, the Bafta-winning breakout star of Am I Being Unreasonable? who has dwarfism, and Mat Fraser, an actor and activist with thalidomide-induced phocomelia. Behind the scenes, things were just as inclusive. “Our set photographer was hearing-impaired, the person shadowing our director was a wheelchair user – there was an enormous amount of diversity,” says Horgan. “It just felt like this is the world we live in and unfortunately TV and film doesn’t usually represent that.” There was an attitude of presumed equality. Sheen remembers coming to do a scene and “in the script there was no mention of a physical disability and then the actor who did it had a physical disability and it was not a thing. That was so refreshing.”

The show wears its politics lightly, though. Even the Christian pressure group Nicci turns to in desperation is portrayed with relative ambivalence – after all, says Sheen, “you don’t want to wink at the audience about how you feel about the characters”. Thorne is too clever a writer for obvious didacticism, and while you might come away feeling conflicted – or even disgusted – by the legal process that has lawyers brutally picking holes in the parents and consultants in court, it’s hard to envisage what could replace it.

What you will be invariably left with, however, is a sense of the existential struggle those with disabled children face in a society unwilling to accommodate them. Sheen remembers Thorne talking about the attitude towards disabled people in the pandemic: “that somehow people with disabilities were slightly more dispensable and anyone dying through Covid who had disabilities, it wasn’t as big a deal as people who didn’t have them.” For Horgan, playing Nicci alerted her to a system that “sees disabled life as less important. Everything she gets for Marnie is a struggle, whether it’s equipment or a wheelchair or education. Her life is battling.”

It’s a sad, outrageous truth, which this excellent drama unflinchingly captures. Yet the show is also keen to emphasise that this is just one element of life with a disabled child. Despite its tragic ending, the real beauty – and, for me, lasting impression – of Best Interests is the way it evokes the overwhelming joy that comes with parenting any child, whatever the difficulties. The worst of times, yes – but also the best.

[ocdude]

Being an “elder millennial” or “Xelennial” or whatever label you want to call someone born in the 80s that got to play the original Oregon Trail, I got to see a lot of technological transitions. Growing up, we had film cameras. Point and shoots, mainly, with some oddballs here and there (remember those cameras that were flat and long?). At some point while I was a teenager I was gifted a used Fuji STX-2 and I became the family photographer. From that point forward I took more photos than was in them. That camera, sadly, is no longer with me. I’ve since moved on to a Canon K2 and then later a Canon Elan7 which I continue to use today (which is actually my second Elan7 after my first one met with a terrible fate).

I went to film school (the motion kind), but never really got a chance to be a “filmmaker”, for whatever that means, so I use photography as a way to exercise that muscle a bit. Aside from sharing some shots on Flickr and a few things on Instagram, I’ve never really shared my photography with anyone other than my partner, so I’ve not really worked on talking about my process or really looked at my photography objectively. Over the next year my hope is I can start being more thoughtful about the photos I take and forcing myself to write about them here might help with that.

This past month I picked up a Fujica ST801. I mainly bought it for the lenses (I’ve been collecting old, mostly soviet M42 mount lenses), but the camera is actually a fantastic little device. The shutter and the film winding lever are wonderfully mechanical. Given it’s a Fuji camera, I thought it appropriate to start off with a roll of Fujifilm Neopan Arcos 100II as my test roll. Part of the “joy” of eBaying cameras and camera equipment is not fully knowing if what you’re going to get is actually as functional as the post made it seem. In this camera’s case, the light meter is subtly messed up, but I don’t know yet if it’s because something’s actually wrong or if it’s because it’s actually meant for silver oxide batteries and I’m using alkaline. As a result, I ended up having to use a light meter app on my phone. I should probably get that fixed.

Here’s a selected few photos from that roll.

Image 1, the Caltrain station

I've never really shot this stock before despite shooting a lot of black and white film. This stock has a lot of dynamic range and not a lot of grain, which I actually really like. I actually really like this composition, though I keep waffling back and forth on whether I should have tried for a deeper depth of field or if I actually like that the foreground is out of focus.

Image 2, more caltrain station

This is a lot closer to the "style" I normally shoot, quote unquote "street photography". I like the person in the shot, and I like the deep hallway. I don't like that I don't have any of the next train signs in focus. Again, this was a pretty challenging lighting situation, and with a broken meter, I just went with a wider open f-stop.

Image 3, cat on a bombed out metermaid vehicle

As I was walking down the street I saw a flock of metermaid vehicles parked behind a fence, which was interesting enough, but as I got closer, I spotted a cat who seemed to be offended that I made eye contact. The vehicle it was sitting on seemed to be having a rough go at it, what with being burned and all, but it made for a fascinating subject. This is another one where I was impressed by the dynamic range of the film. The cat is well lit, but you don't lose all of the detail in the vehicle either. I actually have three pictures of this cat, but this one stands out the most because of the contrast in the shadow area vs the cat. A+, would potentially offend this cat again.

Image 4, fire rescue racing out of firestation

I don't know if "lucky" is the right word, considering emergency vehicles racing off is typically not a good thing, but I happened to grab this shot while walking by a fire station just as they received a radio call. This is probably the one time I regret having black and white instead of color loaded, but I really like the shadows here and the contrast between the shadow and light sides of the building. The vehicle itself seems to just pop as well. I also like that there's some minor halation on the lightbar, which is not something I was particularly expecting to catch on black and white.

Image 5, aka "this roll is 36, but I'm on shot 38"

Part of the joy of mechanical cameras that don't have any sort of DX code reader or automatic winding is you can sometimes squeeze out more frames than you expect from a roll if you are careful while loading. At the end of my walk I hit a taco truck for lunch, and took this photo, not fully expecting it to work. This was the end of the roll. Like a lot of the other shots from this roll, I'm actually really surprised at the detail you get in the darker areas. The tacos were also delicious.

Conclusion

I'm definitely going to shoot with this camera more this year. The fact that it's slighlty broken means I need to stop and consider my shots a lot more than when I'm out with the Elan with all of it's fancy autofocus and working light meter (and exposure compensation, and...). I actually really like this film stock as well. My usual goto for black and white has been Ilford HP5, but it's super grainy. While that's sometimes the feel I want (photos you can chew), it's nice to have an alternative.

[more-than-a-princess]

Continued from here for @unladielike​!

She'd needed to voice her concern. After all, as Sonia sat cross-legged on her bed in the hotel room in her silk pajamas, a sheet mask on her face and dabbing her hands with cuticle oil, it was a bit hard to make subtle expressions. As if anything between the two young women could be considered subtle.

She'd 'met' Vivian online, in one of the many anime forums she'd joined to discuss her favorite series and, with Vivian in particular, her favorite anime men. For ages, she'd left her username simply as 'MadonnaOfDarkness,' an old nickname from high school bestowed upon her by someone she still held dear, and it wasn't until she'd gotten to know the other girl well did she come clean about who she was. Who she really was: a princess next in line for a European throne who had always wanted to attend a real anime event. A gathering of like minded friends, with plenty of discussion panels, merchandise, even costumes. But when they'd finally agreed to meet and attend one, Sonia hadn't hesitated to employ the help of an old classmate. Tsumugi Shirogane had been more than happy to accept her business, even taking a cut in her usual styling fees just to dress Sonia up as the proper fantasy princess she'd always envisioned her upperclassman to be (which Sonia had agreed to, provided the photos wouldn't see the light of day and she wouldn't have to be a fairytale princess at the convention).

A bargain for them both, for now Sonia had traveled with meticulously packed but extensive luggage: collapsible rolling garment rack, stocked with a variety of outfits cleaned and pressed on their hangers, complete with styled wigs on styrofoam heads and the necessary accessories packed in labeled boxes for ease of storage. Upon their meeting in-person, she'd apologized for the amount of space her things would take up, but a few choice words at the check-in desk had ensured the girls received a business suite instead of the regular double they'd originally booked. Now, she followed Tsumugi's intricate list of instructions of preparing for a cosplay event, staying entertained by an unremarkable movie she'd found on TV and conversation, in person finally, with Vivian, the night before the eventful weekend would officially commence.

"That's perfectly all right, Vivian," She smiled, as much as she could with the serum-soaked mask on her face. Now, she intended to put her hands into matching hand masks. She'd rely on Vivian to take control of the remote as she opened one of the packets, unfolding the damp paper glove inside. "That's what makes rewatching films fun! But it's not about Jack getting the girl."

She needed to adhere to the prep tips Tsumugi had instructed, but that didn't stop her from a slightly dreamy look. Again, as much as the mask would allow, as she considered Vivian's words. "Jack and Sally live in a world where they feel very misunderstood by others. They are outsiders, either trying to fit in or desperate for something new and exciting in their lives. But when wanting something too much goes terribly wrong, they find happiness with each other and their unique, weird ways. It truly is a beautiful love story, so dark and moving!" Beyond, of course, the presents made to kill people, the various acts of violence and kidnapping, and so forth. But by now, Sonia hoped her friend wouldn't find such an opinion too jarring: naturally, Sonia's favorite anime and video game romances featured either coarse and tough tsundere types, or the gothic, brooding men with various powers and traumatized pasts. In short, anyone that would prove a challenge to romance in real life, though that didn't tend to stop her in fiction or in reality.

"I don't think it's 'normie' in the least," She��gave a decisive nod. "Perhaps if Sally fit the damsel in distress trope, but I do not believe that to be so. They rescue, love, and support one another. That's what I've always dreamed of, in anime. And for myself. What about you?"

[dnfinite123]

(What if) WARNER BROS MADE THE MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE PART 2

THE THUNDERBOLTS

(The Suicide Squad)

This movie would replace 'Eternals'. Following the plot that the Celestial is going to wake up and they would prevent him from waking up, facing the deviants. The eternals would be dead from the beginning because of Ikaris and he would be the main villain. At this point a large period of time also passed in the MCU and Yelena would be arrested again along with the rest, adding Baron Zemo and Abomination to the team. Bucky at this point would stop being the Winter Soldier and would be the one to take on the role of Rick Flag. Bucky, with the intention of revealing to the world the existence of the eternals and the celestials, is killed by Baron Zemo since Valentina gave him the order to keep all information about them hidden. An annoyed Yelena shoots Zemo in the head. In the end Ikaris reconsiders and goes into the sun, the Celestial fails to wake up and the team gains their freedom. In the post-credits it is revealed that Zemo is still alive.

BARON ZEMO

(Peace-Maker)

It would be the replacement for the 'Peacemaker' series. It would have elements of the 'The falcon and the Winter soldier' ​​series. The series would have comic touches as well as the personality of the character. Since the Peacemaker series is about an alien invasion, the plot of the 'Secret invasion' series would be used. This time he would be recruited by Nick Fury, and his team in the series would be Sam and John Walker. Talos and his daughter would also be supportive. The villain would be Gravik and the final battle would be the entire team against him and not just G'iah. After defeating him, the Avengers would arrive late and Zemo would mock them. In the end Zemo and the others who were with him in the Thunderbolts would reveal the terrible things that Valentina did. There would be no post-credits.

VENOM

(Black Adam)

I know that this venom is not from the UCM but I think it is valid to use it since it has had connections with that universe, and it is the only character that can replace Black Adam since. Shazam's counterpart is Black Adam, therefore as Spiderman replaced the movies Shazam had to be a Spider-Man villain. This movie would be more original, but would have elements of the real movie and Insomniac's Spiderman 2. Carlton Drake would be the main villain. Eddie would join Venom and begin to be Lethal Protector but by causing a lot of disaster Nick Fury summons the West Coast Avengers to stop him. In this team there would be characters who did not have the opportunity to come out before. War machine would be the leader and there would be Scarlet Witch (at this point Wanda is not as powerful as in Dr. Strange MOM), Vision, Moon knight, Wonder man, Antman and Wasp. Carlton throughout the film would try to find the terraforming meteorite to transform the planet into symbiotes and would join Riot in the last part of the film. He would manage to find the meteorite and begin terraforming all of San Francisco and turning all the people into symbiotes. Eddie would surrender to the W.C Avengers and would be locked up but would later be freed by Scarlet Witch to help them defeat Riot since the meteorite also made him more powerful. After managing to defeat him, the W.C Avengers would leave Venom alone. The post-credits scene would be that Nick Fury would give Venom a warning not to leave San Francisco, Venom would challenge him and Sentry would arrive to confront him.

SPIDER-MAN FURY OF MYSTERIO

(Shazam Fury of The Gods)

Just like the previous film 'Shazam', Spiderman would replace its sequel. It would cover the plot of 'Far from Home' but 'Infinity War' and 'Endgame' never happened, which is why Peter never disappeared. The movie would happen almost exactly the same, but Mystery would have a different origin that was more faithful to the comics, it would have no relationship with Tony, nor would the glasses that Tony gives Peter have a role in the movie. This mystery if he would use real magic for his illusions, the justification would be that the sphere in his head is a magical Asgardian object that gives him powers. At the end of the movie Thor would have a cameo taking the sphere after Peter defeated Quentin. I don't know if they would reveal Peter's identity, it would just be him swinging with MJ. The post-credits would be Rhodes visiting Peter to offer him to join the West Coast Avengers.

THE DOCTOR STRANGE

(The Flash)

The penultimate MCU movie would be 'Doctor strange MOM' replacing 'The Flash'. And it would further adapt the plot of the 'What if' chapter of Supreme Strange. The movie would begin with Strange helping Thor and Spiderman on a mission. After having some thieves Peter and Strange would talk about saving their relatives and it would leave Strange thinking. Christine would be dead and Strange would travel to the past to avoid it, he would return to the present and by modifying the timeline the events would change a lot (time would work like in 'The Flash'). Strange never became a sorcerer and the Avengers did not exist either. The arrival of Thanos would occur and Strange would look for that version of him from that line to teach him magic. Since the two of them were not enough, Strange would look for heroes but would only find a version of Tobey and Peggy's Spiderman who turned out to be the one who became Captain America and not Steve. They would prepare to face Thanos but everyone would die and the alternate version of Strange would use the time stone to rewind and try again but this would break reality and start causing incursions. The original Strange would try to stop him but a future version of the alternate Strange would appear who became Supreme Strange. Supreme Strange would refuse to erase that timeline and would try to kill the original Strange but the alternate Strange from the present would sacrifice himself, causing the two to disappear. The world begins to destroy itself like in 'What if' and Strange would return to the past again to leave things originally. He will subtly change one thing and go back to the future. The timeline would go back to how it was but with Christine alive and he would realize that Peter now has Andrew Garfield's face. There would be no post-credits.

BLACK PANTHER AND THE LOST KINGDOM

(Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom)

This would be the last production of the UCM. 'Wakanda forever' being the replacement for 'Aquaman: and the lost kingdom' due to the relationship with the sea, plus the title suits it quite well, Tlalocan being the lost kingdom. The plot would be the same as 'Wakanda forever'. T'challa died and Shuri would be the new panther, Namor would be the antagonist. Only the ending would change, Shuri would have Namor accept the surface world and then their fight would go to see the world. The post-credits would be Namor in a taco stand in Mexico and realizing how delicious adobada tacos are.

A.U Not done by me big shoutout to a instergram username billywhodraws

[centrally-unplanned]

I don't think Altman's tweet gives enough to properly extend charity one way or the other, so I suppose this isn't a defense of the tweet. But this stance expressed properly is pretty much fine, as the Social Network has a version of the "Fight Club Problem". Fight Club portrays the story of the protagonist's alter-ego forming a masculinity-driven, reactionary, rebel-outsider terrorist cult, and they are the 'bad guys' of the movie. But it portrays them so A: compellingly, and B: attractively as part of that narrative, that, actually, idk man I can kindof see their point? They are 'wrong' but you also hate what they are fighting as well and see the appeal of the refuge they have built.

For Fight Club, this makes its a "good movie", because its fiction. These people aren't real, you aren't going to wipe out all debts with a bomb, so really challenging the audience's understanding of what society values through the metaphor of a violent cult is very effective. Like I am trying to convince you of the value of getting punched in the face! That is a hard sell! I gotta make it sexy, make Brad Pitt the man pushing this line, and now maybe you are questioning if you have ever really felt alive, just a little bit. Its meeting the audience where they are.

The Social Network is not 'fiction' in this same way. Its not terribly accurate, sure but its portraying a very real path people have and do take in life. It aspires to a sense of reality, and as such is telling the audience to see this is as possible for them. So what is the reality that it is selling?

In The Social Network our 'protagonist' Marky Z is dumped by his girlfriend Erica for being an asshole. She shows up one or twice throughout the movie to be a killjoy. The rest of the film shows Mark genius-building a website, pulling the rug out from under some trust fund snobs, fucking chicks in a bathroom, whiz-kidding his way to rubbing palms with The Greats, dropping millions in cash on cool shit and articles from his meal ticket's name, and beating the shit out of everyone who tries to stop him. He wins, and wins again, and wins some more. Which is why when you google "The Social Network quotes" its all shit like this:

Which apparently had a dart board deciding on how to use the bold text feature, but you get it. And sure, there is the "I have no intentions of being friends" line 10 entries down, but thats...just funny? Its not some like gigantic own, its a breakup.

So you have the final scene of the movie, Mark alone in his room, having burned the bridges of all of his friends...and also being one of the richest human beings to ever live and looking like a total genius. And this is a movie about 'reality'.

First, most people would, in said reality, take that deal. You will just idk go make more friends! Friendship isn't Disney films and shounen anime, its not the be-all-end-all and its not a binary thing, they shift and change over time. The movie spent 85% of is runtime on Mark being a badass, and a few minutes here and there on him not having a girlfriend. He's a billionaire, he can go buy one, and by that I mean his social status and success and superintelligence will make him attractive to many amazing people giving him the chance to form authentic, long-lasting connections. Its a fine enough movie ending but as attempt to make the idea of being Mark look bad, it fails, completely. All it really does is give him a tragic veneer to make him kindof hot.

Second, this is a movie about 'reality'. I know, when I am watching it, that it is a biopic, that this Mark isn't real but Mark Zuckerberg is, the life he lived is real. And the actual Mark Zuckerberg...is married with three children. To his wife, who he met before he even started Facebook. Zuckerberg is actually pretty famous for being nice and sociable, none of that Cumberbatch's-Sherlock-coded aloof intensity is real. And you know this, watching it! It was a creative liberty taken to give the film more of an arc. So if you, as someone seeing Mark win and win and win some more, would love to be that in your life, but are maybe worried about the social isolation thing? You do a 1 second google and go "oh, never mind. I can have my cake and eat it too". Reality isn't just, reality balances nothing on its non-existent scales. The Social Network sells you a sexy dream and then hangs a Do Not Enter sign, listlessly, with no lock, on the door of that dream, and thinks no one will open it.

Obviously they do - and this is pretty common for media. People are (sometimes) smart, and they are self-aware, they can separate out the elements of media and use it as they see fit. I will critique The Social Network for this - if its goal was make such separation difficult for the audience to swallow, it failed utterly in that goal. I personally don't even think it was - I think those tragic elements were just the flex of the craft; the film needed more arc, more balance, so counterweights were invented. I'm not surprised audiences discarded them; they were very flimsy weights.

Silicon Valley geniuses think that The Social Network is a movie about how creating a start-up is good

[jurph]

Getting invited to come in and play the VR version is the start. You get hundreds of reps, like the most intense gamers, but for free. They give you sports drinks, encourage long hours, log your scores. There's a leaderboard prominently displayed over the double doors that lead out of the VR barn. You're on the board near the top most days.

There's a ceremony with a trophy and you place pretty high. It's implied that everything is over, but the top finishers promote to a higher quality sim with full immersion screens instead of a headset. It's like a real sim, too, tilting hydraulics (pneumatics?) to give you the feel of gravity. There's a bunch of waivers. You sign for a sixty-day stretch, half-pay up front, half-pay on completion. They cover your lease & expenses. It's not that weird that they know who to call to get stuff squared away; you filled out all those forms, right?

You're sure this is the same setup as before. You want to know what's on the other side of that leaderboard, so you hydrate like hell and stretch each day, and even download a flight manual to your tablet. After a couple days, one of the instructors says your blood work came back, and he gives you some vitamins after breakfast, before the first drills of the day. You come down in a "hot wash" room - hot shower, hot coffee, and hit the film study, while they show you what you got wrong. You feel great. You keep getting better.

As promised, sixty days in, win or lose, they cut you a big fat check. You have pretty good scores. They ask if you'd like to keep going. Obviously, you'd like to keep going. The thought of quitting now makes you nervous, even a little nauseous.

The next simulators are unbelievable. Crystal clear, great response time. There's a computer reading your mission tape in real time telling you where your current success probability is. They've stopped giving you "vitamins" and switched to an IV. There are always mimetic reuptake and stims for your retention; sometimes you are pretty sure there are mild psychedlics, too. When your win probability goes up enough, there's a little jolt of something really really nice, and if you screw up you get the drip that makes you clammy and sick-feeling. Hot wash is more like detox now: showers, coffee, a power nap, and then grueling film study as you drink cup after cup of clean water. When your vitals go back to baseline you can go eat and sleep. After a month of this you are frighteningly good, near perfect, and they start to run the speed on the simulator faster. Five percent, ten percent, eventually as fast as 33% over normal. You're doing four things for every time a normal human could do three.

There is a terrible, awful month where you alternate between vomiting into the bucket by your seat in flight, and having near-seizures as you execute unexpectedly-optimal maneuvers in a sequence so rapid the bio-system almost OD's you. Then everything crystallizes and the whole thing slows down for you. You ask them to take it up to 50% and they oblige, but it's all so easy now. You never bother finding a speed that you can't operate on; at half-again speed it's challenging enough to get the old thrill you crave.

One of the hardest missions they ever load up is blockade-busting, but you break a blockade of local patrol fighters -- eight of them, with superior geometry, more speed, and decent weapons -- you splash two before they react. You're through six of them, the other pair hopelessly out of the fight off to your left. It's tricky but you take it apart like a grad student doing a puzzle in the newspaper.

By the time they introduce you to flying real spacecraft, you're bored with how slow real flight seems. You sit in a briefing room with two dozen other graduates. You're all tapping your pencils, wishing the instructor would hurry up, aching to get into the cockpit again, hoping they'll give you something really complex to do instead of just a four-on-four.

It's easy not to think about who those four pilots were, or what their scores were. All you do is win.

[burlutskiyalina]

ENGLISH PROJECT

Story: a description, either true or imagined, of a connected series of events.

Tales: a story, especially one that might be invented or difficult to believe.

Science Fiction: books, films, or cartoons about an imagined future, especially about space travel or other planets.

 Journal Entry - May 10, 2059 I'm about to tell you how I kept the whole world from falling apart. The world is on the brink of a slow and painful death, deprived of its most essential resource: water. I am Alina, a scientist desperate to undo the terrible fate that is upon us. With the help of a team of daring people, we have traveled back in time to the year 2048, determined to stop the impending water shortage, as it seemed only up to us to figure it out.

So Carlos, Sarah, Mark and Aisha, and I decided to embark on this mission.

We arrived in 2048, our temporal suits making us blend in seamlessly. Firstly, we set out to raise awareness about the impending crisis. My colleague, Mar, decided to give a compelling TED talk on the importance of water conservation. Secondly, Sarah, the engineer, began to design more efficient water purification systems.

"Mark, remember, we must bring up the importance of water conservation and sustainable sources," I reminded him as we neared the summit.

We ran into challenges and resistance. Not everyone was willing to believe our warnings. In addition, government officials seemed more interested in pushing the crisis aside than addressing it head-on. However, our persistence began to bear fruit Sarah's design was showcased at a major technology expo and made a big splash.

As the year came to a close, we finally made a breakthrough. Meanwhile, our botanist, Carlos, had developed drought-resistant crops. Furthermore, our social scientist, Aisha, had convinced local communities to adopt water-saving practices. Finally, I managed to convince the United Nations to prioritize water conservation. The situation was looking up and a glimmer of hope had been lit.

We have returned to the present, and the world is a different place. Water scarcity has been warded off. People have taken up new technologies and practices to conserve this invaluable resource. I sit with my team, looking out over the landscapes. We couldn't have done it without everyone's support.

Marcus, with tears in his eyes, says, "It's amazing to witness the change."

Aisha interjects, "We may have faced difficulties, but we have made a difference."

Carlos smiles, "Drought-resistant crops now sustain millions of people."

Sarah nods, "Efficient water purification has become a rule."

I take a deep breath. "Nevertheless, it was the people of this time who took on the change and made it work. They deserve the credit."

In conclusion, we have succeeded in altering the course of history, turning the water crisis around. Together, working as a team, we've pulled off a future where water is everywhere and life thrives. Our mission has been carried out, and the world is no longer on the brink of collapse.

I used a website called Wepik to create this image with artificial intelligence. To get this image I used the statement ''4 scientists travel through time to avoid water shortage.

Science fiction. (n.d.). Cambridge.org. Retrieved October 13, 2023, from https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/science-fiction

Story. (n.d.). Cambridge.org. Retrieved October 13, 2023, from https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/story

Tale. (n.d.). Cambridge.org. Retrieved October 13, 2023, from https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/tale?q=tales