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blockgamepirate · 4 years ago

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So we were talking on Discord about a DSMP superpowers AU, specifically Syndicate as an anarchist superhero team who are perceived as villains by pretty much everybody. (There were a bunch of people involved in the brainstorming but I wanna particularly credit @macachee for the idea for Techno’s superpowers, even though I ended up using a slightly different version than theirs.)

Anyway I know I don't really write fanfic anymore and I'm extremely rusty but uh... my hand slipped?

(CW: nothing major but there are repeated mentions of fire and some pretty tame violence)

×××

"Professor Underscore, I presume?"

The distinctive deep voice of an infamous supervillain was really not something anyone wanted to hear after 14 hours of last minute bug-fixing on a prototype superweapon in a secret laboratory. Especially when all your assistants had already called it a day and gone home.

Without even looking around, Tubbo reached for the gun in his desk drawer but before he could pull it out, a blade smashed into the wood right next to his hand.

"Nope", said the voice, "you don't get to have weapons, I get to have weapons. And speaking of weapons..."

Tubbo carefully turned around on his chair to face his attacker. As expected, it was a huge, hulking pigman dressed in flashy red and a golden mask.

"You are Protesilaus, aren't you? From the Syndicate?"

Protesilaus blinked at him. "You're a LOT younger than I expected, professor."

"Yeah, I get that a lot."

"I mean it's very impressive though, good for you."

"Thanks."

"So anyway, I'm here for the weapons."

"The weapons are kinda reserved already. You know, for the military."

"Don't give a shit", said a voice from the door. "Gib."

Protesilaus sighed. "Zephyrus, you're supposed to be the secret back-up."

The man hiding by the door frame laughed. "We already took care of the guards. There's nobody here but him, it's fiiine."

"But what if HE has his own secret back-up? What then? Well, it's too late now so just keep a look-out, alright?"

Zephyrus laughed again. "Sure."

"Alright." Protesilaus pointed his sword at Tubbo. "Show us to the weapons."

×××

There wasn't much he could think of doing to stall except try and tap in the pin codes on the doors as slowly as humanly possible. To be fair he didn't even really know what he was stalling for exactly. Secret back-up would have been nice but if they’d really taken out all the guards then none was likely to come.

Protesilaus was following him, sword in hand, making random small talk on the way as if he didn't know how to deal with the silence. Tubbo had only caught a few glimpses of Zephyrus, the winged man, in the background or in reflections. He seemed to be tampering with the security systems on the way, meaning that Tubbo really might be completely alone on this if the sabotage was successful. Zephyrus was also pulling along a big wheeled container of some sort that was probably intended for the weapons.

The two of them were the known members of the Syndicate, a team of anarchist terrorists who gave nightmares to the local police forces, the national guard and occasionally the military, but it was also widely theorized to have a secret third member with fire powers. Nobody had ever managed to catch them in the act, the only evidence of the secret member's existence was the trail of smoking ruins following the pair, their targets always burned down in a blaze of extremely memorable pink flames.

Tubbo had a theory that there were actually two secret members in the Syndicate, because if you're going to have one secret member you might as well have two, right? Maybe even three! It just made sense.

His assistants hadn't seemed convinced by this logic.

They arrived at the large hall leading up to the main vault where the prototypes were hidden and Tubbo finally had a plan. Somebody (probably him, honestly) had left the remote control of his battle bots lying around on a sidetable. He took advantage of his captors checking the space for surprise guards and inched slowly towards the remote.

"Everything good up there?" Protesilaus called out to Zephyrus who had flown up to the rafters.

"All good."

"Alright, seems safe enough", said Protesilaus. "Now, open the vault."

Tubbo just needed to stall a little bit longer until he could grab the remote undetected. "Actually, maybe I just won't be able to live with the fact that I let you guys get your hands on superweapons? What if I'd rather die than let you have them?"

Protesilaus sighed. "Look, don't worry, it's for a good cause, I promise."

"I mean, you guys are supervillains."

"Oh yeah sure, you're literally making weapons for an imperialist government but we're the villains?"

"What about that orphanage you burned down?" Tubbo kept moving towards the sidetable, trying to make it look like he was just pacing nervously.

"I have NEVER burned down any orphanages, I do NOT have an irrational hatred of small children, in fact I LOVE orphans in particular, you can ask anyone."

"You did, though! That was like two years ago, back when you were part of the Sleepy Bois Inc!"

Tubbo actually knew quite a lot about the Sleepy Bois, the infamous villain team who were particularly known for conning people into taking part in some sort of strange experiments, like that time they somehow transported a hundred people to the moon and told them to terraform a random area. The group had broken up a while back and two of the four had since reformed. Well, more or less reformed anyway. Actually not really reformed, but they were at least sticking to smaller crimes these days.

Anyway Mr. Business was now one of Tubbo's best friends, although nobody was supposed to know that. And Dirty Crime Boy seemed like a surprisingly nice guy. He was out there running what seemed to be some kind of a drug van but Tubbo had chosen not to worry about it too much.

The other two members, however...

"Sleepy Boys? Doesn't ring a bell." Protesilaus' face was suspiciously blank.

"You know, back when you called yourself the Blood God."

"Nah nah nah, I'm Protesilaus, not the Blood God."

"Come on, you're OBVIOUSLY the Blood God."

"I've never even heard of that guy."

"You're LITERALLY a pigman with superhealing powers and a shiny magical sword, you wear a crown AND you're hanging out with a blond guy with wings who looks just like the Angel of Death."

"Wow, wild coincidence", said Protesilaus

“Not gonna lie, the Angel of Death is a really cool name“, said Zephyrus.

Tubbo ignored them. "And you sound exactly like the Blood God."

"I don't hear it", said Protesilaus.

"You said you don't even know who he is!"

"Exactly."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'EXACTLY'??? THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!!!"

"Well I can't hear it if I've never even heard him speak. That's just logic."

Up in the rafters Zephyrus was cackling like a madman.

"You annoy me so much", said Tubbo.

"Aaaanyways, just give us a little peek into the vault, alright? Just out of curiosity, you know."

Tubbo had made it to the remote, he just needed one more distraction to cover for him grabbing it. "Uh..." Then he had an idea: he just took a quick sudden glance at the exit, as if he'd seen something over there and sure enough both of the criminals immediately turned to check. It was just long enough. He got the remote. "Okay fine, you can see the vault."

"Nice, nice." Protesilaus was still glancing around suspiciously but he had no idea what he should have been suspicious of.

Tubbo was more than happy to open the vault now. It might be holding the prototypes but it was also filled with a small army of robots.

All of which came to life with the press of a button.

"Ah", said Protesilaus. "There's his secret back-up."

"Oh Jesus", said Zephyrus. "I think we fucked up."

"You could say that", said Tubbo. "If you just leave peacefully I might let you go", he added in a sudden fit of uncharacteristic levels of confidence.

Protesilaus raised his sword. "Well you see, I really want those weapons, though."

"I guess you'll just have to fight the robots for it then", said Tubbo, configuring the targetting system.

"Mate, they've got guns on them", Zephyrus called out from above.

"Take cover then", said Protesilaus, very much not taking any cover at all himself.

Tubbo, pretty sure the bots knew which people to fight, released them on the criminals.

Protesilaus immediately managed to dodge the first few lazer bolts from the bots, but the third hit him on the arm. He flinched a bit but didn't seem too bothered. "Ouch. Okay so they can actually aim."

Still dancing around the shots, he held his hand to the wound and once he took it off, only the singed hole on his sleeve remained. The Blood God had been known for some kind of healing powers and coincidentally Protesilaus of the Syndicate, who apparently definitely wasn't the Blood God, just happened to also have healing powers. This fight was going to be hard even for thirty robots.

The pigman finally took some cover, hiding behind a pillar. The robots would have to move closer and Tubbo could already tell that if he'd manage to single them out, Protesilaus would easily take them down one by one.

Even worse, Zephyrus had hidden behind a different pillar up near the ceiling and was sniping the bots from above. They were supposed to be bulletproof but the man was absolutely cracked and managed to keep hitting them in the joints and in the eyes.

But at least the bots had given Tubbo some room to work with. He bolted into the vault and headed straight for a very specific section.

"So I just wanna know, professor", Protesilaus called out from the hall, "how are you NOT the evil mastermind here? You have a LITERAL horde of robots in your control that you can just let loose on people!"

"What do you MEAN? They're for fighting people like you! In this exact kind of situation!" Tubbo found what he was looking for and quickly unbuckled the huge harnesses holding it in place. He had to get a stool to reach the highest ones and nearly tripped on it in his hurry.

"Oh and how many of these have you sold to the government? And what if they just decide that they'd be very convenient for taking care of dissenters?"

"Well if the dissenters are literal supervillains, that sounds great." He climbed the ladder on the wall up to the platform by the mech suit and jumped inside.

He couldn't hear what Protesilaus responded after he pulled down the dome of the suit over his body. The sounds of fighting and the bulletproof glass drowned it all out from this distance, and the sound system wasn’t turned on yet. Now the odds should be a lot more even, though. Let’s see how they deal with this, he thought. He settled in and launched the mech--

... and then maneuvered awkwardly through the mess of secret weapons and machines inside his vault. He was pretty sure he didn't break too many things on the way, it was fine. In the corner of his eye he thought he saw a flash of pink and for a second he worried that the pigman had followed him into the vault where it would be almost impossible for him to fight in the suit but luckily he could still hear the sound of sword clanging into metal from outside.

He moved over to the vault door as sneakily as he could while piloting a 12-foot-tall machine in a tight space and looked out into the hall. The floor was littered with broken robots, and there were several blinded ones aimlessly wandering around and getting in the way of the ones that still functioned properly. Protesilaus was towards the back of the hall, stabbing a bot in the armpit and tearing off its arm, Zephyrus on the other hand, still perching on the rafters, had moved around the pillar he had hidden behind, now aiming away from the vault. Neither of them were looking at Tubbo. He took aim and shot at one of the huge grey wings.

"Ah! Fuck!" Zephyrus spun around. "You little shit!"

"Zephyrus, are you okay??" Protesilaus immediately looked over to his ally and took another hit himself.

"I'm FINE, dude!" Zephyrus sounded exasperated but fond. "Look out yourself! Also the kid has a fucking mech."

"A what?"

Tubbo slammed the vault door shut. Good luck getting in there now, Syndicate. Then he tossed aside some robot carcasses to clear out the floor and threw one at Protesilaus who dodged it easily but in the process took another hit from a different robot. He was starting to look tired and he was obviously distracted by Zephyrus getting hurt. That was promising.

Tubbo started climbing the pillar up to the ceiling. Zephyrus cursed again and tried to hop around the pillar to run across to the other side but his hurt wing didn't open properly so he lost his balance, slipped up and fell. "Shit!"

"ZEPHYRUS!"

The man managed to open his wings and soften the fall but the injury made him veer dangerously to the left and crash into a pile of broken robots. Protesilaus leaped over to him, dropping his sword and laying his hands on his friend's wing and back. A faint red glow emitted from the touch points.

Tubbo jumped back down to the ground and stormed at them. He punched the pigman right in the chin, sending him flying across the room. He then tried to grab Zephyrus but the man had already slipped away and had apparently managed to pick up his friend's sword. "You motherfucker", the man said, "I'm going to take that fucking suit apart and then it's your turn."

"Zeph!" Protesilaus called from the side and Zephyrus tossed the sword to him without taking his eyes of off Tubbo. Then the man pulled up his sniper rifle again and Tubbo quickly covered his weak points with his armoured arms and jumped behind a pillar. He needed to disarm Zephyrus ASAP.

Behind them, Protesilaus was taking care of the last few robots. Tubbo didn't have much time, but he couldn't do anything until Zephyrus would have to reload, the guy was just too accurate...

"Oh fuck", said Zephyrus suddenly. "Prot, the door!"

They all turned to look at the exit.

There, at the door, was Ranboo, widened eyes flicking between Tubbo, the broken robots and the Syndicade. He was holding a bowl of biscuits and a cup of tea. "Uh... hello? Hi?"

Ranboo was actually NOT allowed in the vaults but how do you stop someone who can literally teleport anyway? Tubbo was glad to see him sneaking in, though.

"Ranboo! Help! They're trying to steal the weapons!"

"I..." Ranboo seemed frozen in place.

"Ranboo!" Tubbo was starting to get worried. His husband wasn't even taking any shelter. He drove the mech over to him to at least give him some protection.

"I just came to bring you cookies? Coz I thought maybe you were staying late to make the deadline and I thought--"

"Ranboo, I'm being attacked by supervillains right now!"

"Look, what if we just talked this through? I'm sure everybody here would rather not kill each other, right?" Ranboo was tall enough to lay a hand on Tubbo's shoulder even when he was wearing the mech suit which kind of pissed Tubbo off to be quite honest.

"Sure", said Protesilaus, "I love negotiating. Give us the weapons and their blueprints and we're more than happy to go."

"See? That's good, right? Tubbo, we can just let them have the weapons."

"Ranboo, sometimes you're a bit too quirky for my liking. Stop being quirky, help me fight them. You can use your... T-E-L-I-P-O-R-T-A-T-I-O-N powers."

Everybody just stared at him for a second.

"Shouldn't it be T-E-L-E?" said Protesilaus.

"Tubbo, you realise they can spell words too, you know, like most people who graduated elementary school?" said Ranboo.

"I'M SORRY! I'M TIRED, OKAY?"

“You could have just said ‘use your powers’, I mean, I know what my powers are.”

“IT'S BEEN A REALLY LONG DAY!“

"Zephyrus, I think this guy might be too much for us, I've never met such intimidating intellect", said Protesilaus. Zephyrus seemed to already be dying of laughter and his ally's words did not help.

"Now that's just rude," said Tubbo.

He'd barely finished his sentence when a horrible whistling sound hit them all like an invisible cargo train. After a second Tubbo managed to reassemble his braincells long enough to figure it out: "The fire alarm!"

Then he noticed the grin on his enemy's face. "Well, good job, everyone! Let's go home, Zephyrus", said Protesilaus cheerfully.

"Sure, mate."

The secret third member of the Syndicate, Tubbo suddenly remembered. The container they'd brought with them was gone too. Well, fuck. "This whole thing was a diversion??"

"Yep." The Protesilaus was already at the exit and Zephyrus was following right behind him. "See ya, losers!"

Something inside the vault exploded, making a muffled bang through the door, as if just to prove where exactly the fire had been lit.

"Oh man..." Tubbo flopped down on his seat. "I spent SO LONG building all those things!"

"Tubbo, we need to get out." Ranboo took him by the hand of his mech suit and pulled him along.

"No, we could still go in and save the--"

"No, Tubbo. Let's NOT run into the vault full of dangerous chemicals that's literally on fire, actually."

×××

By the time the fire department showed up, pink flames had enveloped the entire lab complex. The terrorists presumably had at least one of the prototypes now and all the remaining ones were a lost cause.

It's not like all the work was gone to waste, they'd made some backups at least, but it would be a pain to find a new lab and order all the extremely volatile chemicals again. So much paperwork. Tubbo was really not good at paperwork.

"Well, there goes my summer holidays I guess", he said.

"Yeah", said Ranboo. "There they go."

×××

"So... Lethe", said Techno at the next Syndicate meeting, "you never happened to mention you were friends with Professor Underscore."

Ranboo shifted nervously in his chair. "I mean... in my defence, you never said you were going to raid his lab?"

"True, true. It didn't seem like relevant information at the time I suppose. You know, because you're kinda more in the group just for the book club and Bake Off Fridays and not so much for the vigilante thing."

"How do you know Professor Underscore, Lethe?" asked Niki gently.

Ranboo looked around the table. He was fairly certain that the others wouldn't kill him for fraternizing with the enemy. He was pretty sure anyway. At least 70% sure.

Also they were all staring at him now.

"Uh... he's my... husband?"

The staring continued.

"Oh!" said Niki.

"Well", said Techno. "This is awkward."

"Uh huh?" Ranboo responded, his entire body tense and slightly wobbly.

"Techno", Phil said softly. Techno brushed him off.

"So uh, are you attached to him, Lethe?"

"Y-yes?" Ranboo straightened his back. "Yes." he said again, more firmly.

"Alright. I guess in the future we should try not to kill him then."

#dsmp fanfiction #technoblade fanfiction #im not tagging the others #i feel like im too much of a techno stan and it shows

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marmolady · 4 years ago

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Back to Reality: What Came Next (N*SFW)

Book/Series: Endless Summer

Main Pairings: Estela x (f)MC

Summary: Rourke Ending. Taking up where 'Back to Reality' left off. Taylor and Estela have had a rough old day in the Rourke-verse, and take comfort in one another... in a way they haven't done since their world was a very different place.

Word Count: 1824

Warnings: Smut. I've not written anything as smutty as this before, so probably also need to stick in a warning here about potentially not-great smut. But hey, gotta start somewhere! Very N*SFW.

Chronology: Directly following on from 'Back to Reality'. Read that one first! Or, well... skip to this one if you're just here for the sexy-times.

Tagging: @saivilo, @edgydepressedchoicesthot, @sceptilemasterr, @greengroove @mauvecatfic

Estela reached behind Taylor’s neck, her movements slow, deliberate, as she travelled downwards. She felt the curve of shoulder blades, arching into Taylor’s upper back. The skin so soft, unblemished. She paused over the clasp of the bra, her eyes flickering to her love’s face. Is this all right?

A second pair of hands guided her, and the garment fell. Eyes dark with desire, Estela couldn’t look away. Her hands roamed to Taylor’s breasts, thumbs tracing over nipples which stood firm at her caress. The sensation beneath her fingertips was electrifying.

“…Estela…” Taylor breathed. If only she knew how much she’d missed her touch.

“God, Taylor, you’re beautiful.” Estela’s voice was a low growl at her wife’s throat. And then she kissed, working over the delicate neck and jawline, feeling her own urgent need growing with the pooling of heat at her core.

Taylor’s heart thundered in her ears as she felt a nip at the base of her neck.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” she asked, even as a soft moan escaped her.

Without stopping to look up, Estela continued her fervent trail of kisses, her hands roaming down her lover’s body. “Shhhh… Taylor, put your hands on me. I need to feel you.”

How could she argue? Taylor’s fingers dug into that strong, scarred back as she responded to the breathtaking touch, and she caught a smirk on Estela’s face as she glanced up momentarily. She kissed down into the valley of her wife’s breasts as she reached behind to unhook the bra --unwanted and most certainly getting in the way. As the bra fell aside, she took a nipple in her mouth, teasing it with suckling kisses and grazing with her teeth.

Estela exhaled sharply, momentarily too dizzied to keep going. Taylor took the opportunity to tug her down onto the bed, leaning against her, mouth and one hand working over Estela’s chest, while the other traced a path down, down, then slipping into her underwear. Another gasp from Estela as she squirmed beneath her.

“… you’re getting a little full of yourself…” Estela hissed.

“I’m sorry, do you want me to stop?”

“Don’t you dare…”

Taylor resumed the stroking of her fingers over Estela’s wet folds, responding to a needy whimper.

“More.” Estela bucked her hips against her wife’s hand, and moaned with sweet relief as those talented fingers at last found her clit. “Taylor…” She tipped her wife’s chin with a trembling hand, forcing eye contact, then grasped a fistful of blonde hair, anchoring their bodies in place. But all too soon, her lover was pulling away.

“--hang on--” Taylor muttered, and she extricated herself just enough to fumblingly take care of both pairs of underwear, clothing she’d deemed to be nothing but a hindrance.

Estela’s gaze was intense, fiery in her hunger. “You’re just so fucking perfect…” She grasped Taylor’s ass and tugged her onto her. She just had to feel her… every goddamn inch.

“…You…” Taylor buried her face once more in her wife’s chest, slathering messy kisses to those humble breasts, sliding downwards until her mouth was working against an exquisitely toned stomach. Oh, how those muscles quivered beneath her kiss… “Estela, you are a goddess…

Leaning deliciously close to her lover, Taylor kept eye contact as she stroked a finger over Estela’s entrance, inciting an exhilarated shudder that shook them both. Carefully, she eased in a finger, then two, crooking them so that they pressed against the sensitive spot with every pump in and out. Her thumb resumed a swirling dance around the small nub, and Estela gave a trembling moan. Strong fingers clawed into Taylor’s back with every moment; it hurt, but it felt so good.

With a loud, shuddering exhale, Estela found her release, holding Taylor ever tighter as she writhed through waves of bliss. Slowly, she regained her breath and sank into the mattress, still seeing stars.

“Joder….”

With a light-headed giggle of self-satisfaction, Taylor pushed herself up so that she could properly admire the happily flushed face of the woman she adored. How she’d missed this. This bit especially. The look on Estela’s face… as though she were floating on a cloud.

“I love you,” she breathed, and eased herself back down, Estela’s hand now idly, lovingly tracing swirls over her shoulder, making her heart flutter and skin tingle. “My starlight.”

Once again, they were kissing. Slow and deliberate, catching one another’s moans as they trembled against their lips. Estela’s arms around her, their legs tangling, Taylor let herself to be rolled onto her side; held and caressed and kissed as if there were not another damn thing in the world that mattered. Just that moment between them. Taylor’s eyes scrunched closed, prickling with tears. She’d waited a long and lonely time to kiss Estela like this… to be kissed back, so loved.

“Oh, querida, it’s okay…. Shh, shhhh….” Fingers cradling her wife’s face, Estela laid kisses up Taylor’s cheek to her forehead, where she lingered. “I’m yours now. And you’re mine. I’ve got you now.”

A tear rolled down Taylor’s cheek onto the duvet. Goddammit, why now? That lump in her throat was getting bigger…. “God, ‘Stel…. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I know, I know….” Estela murmured. Her breath shook, then she spoke fiercely. “And I’ll fight ‘til my last breath to make sure you never have to miss me again.”

Taylor spluttered out a few sobs, and hugged Estela all the tighter. She shivered. The hell were we thinking? You put on the heater, and then you go for naked sexy time. She supposed that coming in from outside, this was considered relatively warm when they’d first trudged in. A chatter of her wife’s teeth against her cheek made her laugh-- and then choke on her tears, and then laugh some more.

“You wanna take this under the covers, my dearest love?”

“P-please.”

Estela cocooned herself in with Taylor, hoisting the blankets up around their faces. “When we live in San Trobida, there will be none of this fucking cold. And we can be naked together all the time if we wish, without getting frost-bitten tetas.”

Taylor snorted. “Oh, babe. That’s the dream.” She hummed contentedly, the sadness of what had been fading in the soft glow of what was. This was now. Estela was holding her, and they were warm and safe. She let out a long exhale, and anchored herself in the present.

“Do you… do you want to keep going?” Estela asked tentatively, her dark eyes searching Taylor’s face for confirmation that she was all right. “We can just cuddle…?”

“I’m okay,” Taylor assured. “And I want more. More you.” She grinned and looped a leg around her wife’s long, toned one, grinding against her with a quiet moan. Fuck, she’s got nice legs….

Estela smirked. “Well, if that’s what you want….”

She captured Taylor’s hungry mouth in a deep kiss before ducking down, disappearing beneath the heavy covers. The heat of Taylor’s body, the scent of her… of her heady need, Estela was enveloped in it, and the soft blankets surrounding them, and it took her to a place where she was untouchable, bulletproof. Estela breathed it in, and her body shuddered with desire. She felt Taylor tremble at the touch of breath on her skin, goose-bumps already rising that had nothing to do with cold.

“’Stel, please….”

The muffled voice egged Estela on, but she was unhurried. She dipped her head, and ran her tongue languorously over the sensitive skin of Taylor’s stomach. A sharp whimper from above, a twitching buck of hips beneath her… oh, it was a kind of satisfaction Estela could bask in for days. She trailed kisses and licks and sharp nibbles in a meandering path across Taylor’s wonderfully soft inner thighs.

“You’re so…. Fucking…. Beautiful….” she breathed against them, punctuating her words of praise with kisses of escalating fierceness… and spurring another whimpering moan.

“God, Estela….”

With a moment to catch her breath-- the cover of the blankets, though warm, was stifling-- Estela brought her hands to her wife’s sensitive place and gently stroked. Even if the darkened space she could see the glistening wetness of the twitching folds. Another deep breath, shuddering with her own want, and she brought her lips to Taylor’s clit, sucking softly.

The effect was instant. With a sharp gasp, Taylor bucked her hips wildly, clocking Estela in the face. Giggling, Estela dipped back down and licked, alternating small, gentle, and long, hard strokes of her tongue until Taylor’s body was fluttering along with her heart, helpless in her wake.

All too soon, though, Estela really needed to come up for air. She emerged from the covers to Taylor’s face aglow with a pink flush.

“I love you… I love you….” Taylor panted, reaching for her lover’s face, delighting in the feeling as Estela took her fingers in her mouth and nibbled.

“Didn’t I say I wouldn’t let you miss me?” Estela smirked, and crawled up a little further. Her eyes never leaving Taylor’s face, she leaned down into her, and swirled her tongue over a heaving breast, taking her time and teasing the nipple with gentle flicks.

Taylor arched her back, pressing herself up against Estela with everything she had in her-- quite a feat as her body, by now, had gone to jelly.

Then Estela moved up even further, her lips caressing a trail up Taylor’s neck, rising in intensity as she reached her jaw. As Taylor’s breath hitched with a high-pitched squeak, Estela settled in, letting her hand find its place where it was wanted most.

“I--I’m so close…. I’m so close, ‘Stel.”

“Mi amor,” Estela purred against her lover’s throat, “let me take care of you.”

A few deftly placed strokes of talented fingers, and Taylor’s hips were bucking wildly, her hands grasping at Estela’s back as if for dear life, and a great cry of release escaped her lips.

As Taylor’s frantic moaning subsided and her body shook, Estela caressed her… her sides, her breasts, her face, through her hair… and kissed her again and again, sweet and gentle.

“Hey?” she asked softly. “Was that okay? Are you…?” Her dark eyes searched Taylor’s brilliant blue ones, and she saw only euphoria and love.

Taylor was smiling so hard her face ached. Her body tingled with warmth… it was as if she were alight. “My starlight….”

She pulled the covers up to both their chins, snuggled in against Estela, and kissed her… hoping with everything in her that she might somehow share some of the sheer happiness that coursed through her now-spent body.

When she came away, she was once again breathless. “Does that… does that answer your question?”

Estela giggled quietly and nuzzled in. “Yeah. I think it does.”

The cruel world had fallen away. Wrapped up in their shared duvet, their hearts thundering together, Estela and Taylor had found their sanctuary in one another.

#endless summer #playchoices #n*sfw #wlw #wlw smut #estela x mc #estela montoya

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arreisstorm · 5 years ago

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youtube

I know that this might seem dramatic to some and there's absolutely no way for you to understand unless you proudly call yourself ARMY and love and support BTS with all of your heart, but I honestly can't stop crying over this. I'm seriously having a breakdown right now and I can't stop. I didn't even get 20 secs in before I was already bawling my eyes out.

What can be seen as nothing more than a cartoon MV for some people, means the world to countless others like myself. The scenes in this video represents an entire story of all the hardships, pain, adversity, trials and tribulations that BTS have endured throughout this whirlwind of a journey they've been on since 2013.

"Ay, we bravely shout

"Throw all you have"

First fight with the world

Don't wanna die

But so much pain

Too much cryin'

So blunted blades"

They faced so much hatred from both people inside and outside the music industry, even those they once called close friends, and there were times when things felt too overwhelming and it would've been easier for them to just give it all up and throw in the towel, but they found strength in each other to carry on and whenever the world was against them they knew they would always have each other's backs.

"We are bullet-bullet-bulletproof

We faced the negative looks and did it

Bad memories, numerous trials

We bravely blocked them all, bulletproof"

Seeing how they incorporated their old selves in the video, remembering a time when life felt the hardest and then seeing how even through all of that pressure and negativity they still remained as one, still clinging tight to their connection to each other and braved the hatred and unknown together as one is where I first lost it. Then knowing how we as ARMY have always been there by their sides, supporting and loving them even when everyone else had turned their backs on these boys already, that is what broke me completely. There's a reason BTS gave us the name ARMY, it's not just because their name means 'Bulletproof Boyscouts' and the aesthetic fit, we were given the name ARMY because BTS knew how strong we were. We are their protectors, the ones who try with everything we have to shield them from all hurt and hatred thrown their way. We will stand up against the pressures and the backlash and we will defend our boys with every ounce of our beings. ARMY needs BTS and BTS needs ARMY, we are one, an multitude of different faces and looks that are united together as a family. Together we have all faced the same battle of uncertainty and impossible struggles, but we have always overcome so much along the way. We will always have our boys' backs and they will always have ours, no matter what.

"Throw stones at me

We don't fear anymore

We are we are together, bulletproof

(Yeah we have you have you)

Even if winter comes again

Even if I'm blocked off, I will still walk

We are we are forever, bulletproof

(Yeah we have you have you)

Even if winter comes again

Even if I'm blocked off, I will still walk

We are we are forever, bulletproof

(Yeah, we got to heaven)"

One of the things I've noticed within the K-pop industry when it comes to groups and how they treat their fans, a lot of the times they create this illusion of how members are supposed to not develop relationships with other people because their love "belongs" to their fans. You can see it all the time on variety shows and during fan meets, the questions being directed might entail the possibility of an idol's love life and then that idol is trained to say that they don't need anyone else because their hearts "belongs" to their fans, almost as if they are in this unofficial committed relationship with all these strangers, but that's not true for BTS. In my eyes I see BTS as people I greatly admire and love, but that doesn't mean I feel as if they belong to me or that we are in any kind of relationship with one another, and I think a lot of ARMY feel the same way. Yes the boys might say they love us, but it's in a way that is full of admiration and pride and gratitude. That's why I love the fact that I can call us a family. BTS and ARMY are one big, happy, and unbreakable family, we don't need delusional romantic notions of "love" to say we truly love one another. That is represented through our mutual cherished feelings and signs of respect we share and if you are true ARMY then you know that when BTS and ARMY say the mantra "We Purple You" to each other, it goes far beyond the limits of romantic attachments. We don't need our boys to say they will date us or that they are "saving" themselves for us, because that is unreasonable, "We Purple You" means we love you in a way that is like family. We will support you through everything, we will cheer you on during your triumphs, and we will pick you back up when life knocks you down. Just like the WAB: The Eternal asks:

"Tell me your every story

Tell me why you don't stop this

Tell me why you still walkin'

Walkin' with us"

This is why.

If you're always wondering why we are so passionate, why we are so dedicated, why we choose to continue this walk with our boys, why we defend them and show them love through everything, it's because ARMY believes in BTS. We believe that together we can take on the world, together not even the sky is the limit, and as long as we are together, nothing will ever be able to tear us apart.

That's why this song means so much. That's what this whole journey has been about. It started 7 years back, with nothing more than 7 unlikely strangers and a common dream, but it will end with 8;

7 humble, talented, driven, and inspiring boys from South Korea + 1 collective heart and soul full of passion, pride, and a powerful love know as ARMY.

"Yeah we are not seven, with you."

That's why this ending line speaks to our hearts so much, that's why Kim Namjoon cried when he penned this beautiful and emotional song, because it is a love letter, a promise between BTS and ARMY that we got to where we are together and we will continue on until the end with our hands intertwined and our heads held high.

So from myself and on behalf of all ARMYs everywhere,

We Purple You BTS and we will always walk with you until the very end and even beyond that 💜

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something-tofightfor · 6 years ago

Text

He’s Not Here - Part 13

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Word Count: 4518

Rating: M. Mention of sex, language... but nothing too raunchy

Parts 1-12 + the interludes can be found on my Masterlist (link in bio)!

Summary: The holidays are approaching, and Billy’s found something new to do for work - what does it mean for the two of you?

And we’re back.

** 13 months out from the events of DD S2 **

Tagging: If you want to be added or removed, let me know.

@banditthewriter @breanime @obscurilicious @padfootagain @madamrogersstorytelling @ooo-barff-ooo @agent-bossypants@suchatinyinfinity @chibiyanai @songtoyou @ethereal-heavcns @editboutique @marauderskeeper @drinix @ilkaeliseb @delicatelilyflower @king4thesirens @likethetailofacomet @blah-blah-fuckit-shit @ymariejp @mr-robot-x @rageshots @shinebrightlikeafanbase @littlemermaidprobz @jovialyouthmusic @zaffrenotes @introvertedlibrary @writing-for-a-chance @yesixoxo @ilikebeachessushiandsmallanimals @likeorions @swiftyhowlz @dylanobrusso

“You realize,” he questioned you, blinking slowly. “You… do realize that as great as these past months have been that I’m still not out yet, right?” It was late November and you were shopping for Christmas gifts with Billy on a Saturday. The two of you had taken a break for lunch, settling into a booth in a deli that was only half full. Even though it was more convenient for you to shop in the city since it was close to your apartments, Billy had suggested driving out to Frank and Maria’s area since it would be less crowded and there were more ‘normal’ stores - ones that were more in line with your budgets. He’d been home for a little over four months, and the two of you had fallen into what could only be described as an easy rhythm as the days passed. He’d been turned down for Anvil nearly two months prior but Billy had bounced back, continuing to save money and try to figure out where all of the extra funding could come from while simultaneously reaching out to contacts for security experience and potential connections.

“Yeah, Billy.” I do. You sighed, shaking your head as Billy took a bite of his sandwich. “Have you… heard anything? Did you get orders?” Shaking his head no, Billy waited for you to continue. “Well then, what’s bringing that up going to do?” He smiled. “I just want to enjoy Christmas with you and…”

“Yeah. Well.” He cleared his throat, glancing around the room before looking back at you, his eyes serious. “I got a job.” Billy closed his eyes. “Well, the opportunity for a job anyway.” He reached out, taking your hand across the small table and moving his thumb over the back slowly. “It shouldn’t be a big deal, but they want me and Frankie and a few other people.” What? You stayed silent. “I gotta stay sharp, and the daily training is great, but I need to get my hands on a gun again, to…”

“What’s this job?” You were frowning at him, but couldn’t ignore the excited look in Billy’s eyes, the way his gaze had sharpened, the straight set of his shoulders. Lieutenant William Russo, reporting for duty.

“Frankie knows someone that knows a politician that’s going to be in New York in a week or so, and will need some private security.” He paused. “Armed security.” Oh. “So Frankie and I are going to do it. Maria’s on board, because it’s really good money and they want to take the kids to Disney in February, and I thought that maybe if this goes well, it’ll get my name out there and I can start making contacts for Anvil…” Billy trailed off, taking another deep breath. “I know it’s not about the money, but it’s going to help, and everything that I can save is worth it.” His eyes were bright and you knew that while he wasn’t asking your permission - Billy did what he wanted - knowing that you were on board would mean a great deal to him.

“I think it’s a good idea.” You smiled at him, pulling your hand away from his and picking up your drink. “But you’ve already agreed to do it, haven’t you?” Billy at least had the good grace to look sheepish, nodding his head in agreement. “Is it only one night?” His posture loosening, Billy spent the next fifteen minutes telling you about the job, about the client in vague details and about how simple it would be, even though it was for three days in total. He seemed more excited than he had about anything in a long time, and you felt yourself becoming intrigued. When he gets Anvil, this is how it’s going to be, too. “Is it dangerous?” Billy shrugged, finishing his lunch and leaning back in his chair, one hand moving in a vague gesture.

“Less dangerous than when I’m overseas, but more dangerous than going to work every day.” He licked his lips, running a hand through his hair - now long and slicked back. “I’ll be armed, I’ll be wearing protective gear, but it shouldn’t be bad, I’ll have Frankie watchin’ my six, and then I can afford to-” He cut himself off, a grin on his face. “We should keep goin’, though… I wanna get back to the city before it gets too late, and we still have a bunch of places to go.” What’s he need to afford? Anvil? Standing, you waited for Billy to put his coat back on, hand going to your shoulder as the two of you exited the restaurant and headed back to the sidewalk.

---

The following week, Billy said goodbye to you on Sunday evening, kissing you hard, his hands tangled in your hair. When he pulled away, you saw that even in your apartment’s overhead lighting, Billy looked different. His eyes were focused and he was carrying himself in a way that you’d only seen from him the first night he’d returned from Iraq. “I’ll talk to you on Wednesday night, OK?” You nodded, unwilling to loosen your grip on his shoulder, to tear your eyes away from his. “I’m gonna be fine, it’s just a few days, and Frankie’s gonna be there with me.” Yeah, I know. “It’s almost like you care about me, or somethin’” Billy leaned in, his breath against your ear and you shrugged your shoulders, trying to keep from letting him know just how true his words were. “I told you, I’ll be fine. I’m not even sniping, I’ll be right there up close with my knives.” You felt an involuntary shiver run through your body at the mention of Billy and his blades, knowing just how good he was with them, how much he relished getting to use them. I hope he doesn’t need to use them. “See you soon.” He pressed his lips to your cheek and then stood up straight, the back of one finger tracing down from your temple to your cheek before he turned away from you, pulling the door open and walking out.

After you locked the door, you watched through the peephole as he walked away, pausing near the elevator and then stepping out of sight. “Be safe, Russo. Love you.” You still hadn’t been able to say the words to Billy yet, but you told him at least once every day - safely inside your head or verbally after you’d hung the phone up or said goodbye to him. You didn’t need him to say it back; your feelings weren’t contingent on his, but at the same time, you didn’t want to risk saying them and having him not return the sentiment, so it was simply safer to keep them locked away, for your ears only until the time was right. Billy had opened up a great deal to you in the four months that he’d been home, and you were unwilling to risk the progress for something as asinine as a declaration of love - he was with you, not stepping out, not including you in a rotation with other women like he had at the beginning of your association - and that was enough.

Tuesday afternoon, you got a message from Billy, and though it was short, it made you smile as you sat at your desk at work, typing out emails. ‘Still intact. Hangin’ out with some CIA contacts. No big deal.’ You messaged back quickly, not knowing if he was going to be able to respond, telling him that you were glad he was OK, that it was good to hear from him. He sent back a picture in response, himself from the shoulders up, that signature Billy smirk on his face and a thumbs up with his other hand. He was wearing a suit, but you saw the top of a bulletproof vest at the very bottom of the picture, something you knew that he’d tried to keep out of the image. You froze, zooming in on it and all you wanted to do was call him, but you knew that you couldn’t, that it was better to just not say anything. One more day. One more day and he’s done and I won’t have to worry. Until next time.

Wednesday night, you were in the kitchen when there was a knock on the door. Stirring the pot of potatoes that you were boiling, you turned the heat down and stepped over to answer it, a smile on your face. “Hey, kid.” Frank stood in your doorway, and at the look on his face - a stoic one that on anyone else you would have read as impassive but on Frank, it was as close to worry as you’d ever seen - you froze with the smile still on your lips. “You need to come with me.” Heart pounding in your chest, you looked back over your shoulder, eyes wide.

“I just gotta turn off the stove, I was cooking dinner for Billy and I, and - “

“Billy’s not comin’ to dinner, kid.” Frank’s voice was quiet, almost dangerous, and you looked back at him, noticing for the first time that his hands were stained with blood - as were the cuffs of his sweatshirt. “That’s why I’m here.” What?

You turned the stove off, sliding the pot from one burner to another cold one and then pulled your shoes on numbly. Frank stood next to the door, his arms crossed over his chest, eyes following you as you moved through the apartment, but he was silent. He hadn’t offered any other information and as you followed him out the front door, you reached out, touching his shoulder. “Frank, what… is he OK?” While waiting for the elevator, you watched Frank’s fingers flexing, saw the tic in his jaw. “Frank. Is Billy -”

“He got shot. I wasn’t paying attention and he got shot.” You felt yourself deflate, but Frank shook his head stepping into the elevator and pressing the button for the garage. “First bullet went clean through, but he was bleedin’ pretty bad, and he’s at the hospital gettin’ it taken care of.” He’s OK. Though you were still concerned, hearing Frank speak so matter of factly about the injury helped in its own way. “I shoulda seen it, but we were sweeping a building before the last meeting, and there was someone, and…” He trailed off, shaking his head as you walked into the parking garage, following Frank toward the car. “We got the bastards, but not before Billy got hit.” As you buckled your seatbelt, you stared out the window.

“Who got him, Frank? Was it you?” At your question, Frank actually laughed, easing the car onto the road and turning in the direction of Metro General.

“I’ll let Billy tell you about that one, kid.” Neither of you spoke for the rest of the short drive, and Frank let you out before going to park the car, feet carrying you quickly into the hospital.

After asking at the reception desk for Billy’s room number, you nervously walked down the hallway toward it, pausing before stepping in. Billy wasn’t alone in the room. There was a nurse standing next to his bed with a tablet in her hands, fingers tapping quickly as she charted his information. You watched from the doorway as she smiled down at him and Billy stared up at her with a grin on his face, the one that disarmed even the strongest willed women. You knew it well, because you saw it at least ten times a day when you were with him. The fuck?

“William, please let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.” The nurse reached down with one hand, touching his shoulder and Billy’s eyes followed the movement, the grin getting wider as the nurse leaned down. “Anything, sir.” Billy coughed and you shifted, feeling an emotion that wasn’t quite rage building inside you. “It’s not every day that we get combat veterans like yourse-”

“I appreciate the offer, sweetheart… but I already got someone to take care of me.” Billy turned his head toward the doorway, his smile changing into a very different one - one that was reserved for you and you alone. “Hey you.” The nurse stood up straight and frowned, pushing past you and out the door of Billy’s room. “So Frankie came to get you?” Billy was still smiling and he patted the space on the bed next to him, inviting you in. “I lied to you.” You settled onto the mattress, left hand going to the side of his head as you leaned down to kiss him on the forehead.

“You OK, Russo?” Though you were scared, seeing him had helped. He looked strong, looked healthy, looked alert, and most importantly he looked alive.

“You’re not gonna yell at me?” You shook your head, eyes on his face and Billy blew out a breath, slowly blinking. “I was expecting cryin’ and a rant about how it was stupid of me to…” You shrugged, and Billy moved his left hand onto your lap, fingers wrapping around the top of your thigh. “Damn.” He took a breath, but you noticed that it was a shallow one, and that he winced slightly as he let it out. “Well.” Billy cleared his throat. “Not much to tell, really… I got shot, and I shouldn’t have.” He spoke matter of factly, head lolling to the side. “First guy was hidden and we didn’t see him, but we shoulda’. I should have seen him.” Billy’s head moved back and forth. “First guy got me once below the vest, went clean through me before I could get to him. The second guy hit me in the vest, and Frankie took care of him for me. Woulda been different if we’d trained as a team for this, not just gone into it blind.”

“You got shot twice?” He nodded. “Jesus, Billy. Are you sure you’re OK?” He laughed but then winced, his right hand reaching over to press against his left side. “They give you anything for the pain?”

“Yeah, I mean they did the stitches with a local, but they gave me pain meds too, figured that since I gotta stay overnight, I’d be more comfortable that way. They didn’t have to put me under, because they said it didn’t hit anything vital, so...” Billy sighed. “I’ve been shot before, but the ribs hurt. I forgot how much it hurts to take impact in a vest that’s not standard military issue.” He stopped talking and you looked down at him as Billy’s eyes stared into the corner of the room. “I wasn’t scared, I was just mad.” Billy finally looked at you again, and there was no emotion in his eyes. “Didn’t even hurt when it happened, not til it was all over. I shoulda been ready. If I had Anvil up and running, I’d be in better shape. I would have been prepared. We would have had better gear, been a real team...”

“It’s only been a few months, Billy, you wouldn’t have had everything in order yet.” He huffed, teeth biting down on his lower lip.

“Yeah, but it woulda been better. I missed this feeling. I’ve only been home for four months, and it feels like forever, like too long.” Great, so he’d rather be there than here with me. “I need that feeling, you know? Need to feel like I’m helping, like I’m gonna do some good, like I have a reason to be fighting.” You nodded, trying to keep the anguish out of your eyes, keep your face straight. “I need to find a way to get Anvil, and this just… I don’t know what I can do right now, but I need to figure it out.” Billy’s eyes hardened as he brought his gaze back to you, the look in them steely. “I’m made to do this kind of shit, and even though the next tour is going to be my last one, I can’t just stop.”

Both of you were silent, the only noises in the room coming from the equipment that Billy was hooked up to as it beeped softly. His hand was still on your thigh, the other one laying across his stomach, fingers pressed against his side. You didn’t know what to say - when Billy was like this, you felt out of your depth, like he wasn’t the same person you’d gotten to know over the last twenty months. “I get it, Billy.” You finally spoke after collecting your thoughts. “It’s what you’re good at. The high pressure, high stakes situations. You don’t wanna die, but you don’t mind getting your hands dirty.” He frowned, a wrinkle appearing on his otherwise smooth forehead. “And you’d rather be doing it on your own terms than someone else’s.”

“I would.” Blinking, Billy shifted in the bed, removing his hand from your leg. “But I still don’t have a way to get there yet.” His expression changed again, changing from unreadable to sad to determined in the span of only a few seconds. “It’ll happen. Especially since we didn’t let anything happen to the client this time, despite me gettin’ shot” He finally smiled again, looking back at you and you felt immense relief that the blankness was gone, that he was back. “Get hazard pay, too.” Billy shifted again, pulling himself up so that he was half sitting, his upper back against the headboard. “Guess that’s one of the perks of all this, right?” He pushed the blankets down, pulling his hospital gown up and exposing a small bandage that sat low on the left side of his abdomen. “Got one on my back, too. That side’s gonna leave a nasty scar.”

You stared at his body for a few moments before tentatively reaching out to run your fingers over the bandage and then the bruise that had bloomed on his ribcage, which was already the size of a grapefruit. “I’m glad you’re ok, Billy.” Seeing his injuries had finally shown you the severity of the situation. He’d been shot at multiple times. He could have bled out, could have been shot somewhere else - somewhere much more vulnerable - could have not walked away from the situation. But he wasn’t. And he made it. “More scars, Russo?” He smiled at you, looking up from the bed as you raised an eyebrow. “That nurse seemed to be very interested in them.” Billy rolled his eyes, making a ‘what do you want me to do about it’ gesture with his hands and you laughed, leaning down to look into his eyes, a hand resting on the front of his shoulder. “I’m glad you’re relatively OK, Billy.”

He didn’t answer right away, but he looked at you without blinking, without averting his gaze. “Me too.” Billy sniffed, nodding. “Thanks for not freakin’ out on me.” I’ll freak out at home once I leave, not here. Not in front of you.

“It’s your life, Russo. You wanna live like this - put yourself in the position to get shot or stabbed or -”

“Wasn’t me that got stabbed.” Billy winked at you, a gleam in his eye. “I got that sonofoabitch without batting an eye, I didn’t even realize that I was bleeding until he was on the ground and Frankie was screamin’ at me.” Oh. He killed someone… he… “Hey.” He lifted his hand, thumb moving over your lips before the others curled beneath your jaw. He just killed someone with a knife that he held in that hand. “You OK with that? You know it’s gonna be a part of this sometimes, that…”

“Yes.” You swallowed, nodding your head. “I know you gotta… do what you need to do to survive.” You took a deep breath. “It’s gotten you this far, right?” He nodded, eyes widening, even as they darkened, his breathing quickening slightly. Am I really OK with this? Knowing that he’s going to… “Not gonna scare me off with this, Russo.” You leaned down, finally kissing him on the mouth and Billy’s hand slid around to the back of your neck, holding you in place as he kissed you back. I don’t know if it’s me or if it’s talking about this, but he’s so turned on right now, I… “Mmmm, Billy.” You pulled back, teeth catching on his lip as you shook your head. “Can’t get too carried away here, you’ve got a gaping hole in your side and you can barely move.”

He cleared his throat and hummed. “You can just climb on top, won’t have to move much that way.” Laughing, you playfully swatted at his chest, sitting up straight. “Nah, I know. I gotta be careful. Plenty of time for all that.” You talked for a few more minutes and then there was a knock on the door, both of you turning to look. Frank stood with his arms crossed, and you saw that he’d changed his clothes and washed his hands before coming to see his friend. You’d never seen Frank in military mode - not even during your video chats with Billy, but he was close now, eyes searching the room, shoulders straight and his feet planted in a stance that told you he meant business. “Hey, Frankie.”

You stood as Frank stepped into the room, and felt Billy’s hand slip away from you, watching as he pushed himself into a sitting position, locking his jaw against a wince. He’s trying to keep Frank from seeing how much pain he’s in. “I’ll let you guys talk. I’ll wait in the hallway.” Billy offered you a smile and Frank simply grunted, pulling a chair away from the wall and toward Billy’s bed. “When do you get released, Russo?” Billy pressed his lips together, closing his eyes briefly.

“Tomorrow. Probably after a doctor checks on me to make sure I didn’t tear my stitches and that I can move around on my own.” You nodded. “Can you… come get me?” He sounded so unsure of even asking you, so unwilling to make the request that you nearly gasped out loud, but managed to keep it quiet.

“Of course. Just call me in the morning and let me know when. I just have paperwork tomorrow so I’m basically free all day.” He smiled gratefully and you said goodbye to the two men before stepping to the door and settling into a chair down the hallway. Billy was going to be OK - this time - but he’d come dangerously close to losing his life on American soil, where he was supposed to be safe. Would he have been better off with Anvil? Would they have been better prepared? You thought about it, frowning as you leaned on your hand, elbow resting on the wooden chair arm. Probably. They would have been a team. With a sigh, you pulled your phone out, a faint smile on your lips as you read a text from Maria and another from your friend Erin.

Some time passed and then you heard Frank’s voice saying your name. He was speaking normally, but there was a new resolve in his voice as you stood, stepping over to him. “Billy told me to tell you he’d text you later if the meds didn’t knock him out.” Frank smiled, licking his lips as he shook his head. “He’s tough, you know?” I do. “Didn’t want anything too strong, because he didn’t wanna be out of it, but he’s in pain and I convinced him.” Frank stopped talking as his eyes moved past you and to a figure that had just entered the room. “Sir.” You looked over too, eyes falling on a tall, large man with white hair and a weathered face. “Major, glad you could make it. Bill’s just down the hall in 342.” The man nodded and Frank stepped forward, reaching a hand out to shake it. “He’ll be glad to see you.”

“And who is this, Castle? Where’s Maria?” The tone of the man’s voice wasn’t quite accusatory, but it was interested and Frank chuckled again, ducking his head before he answered.

“This is actually a girlfriend of Russo’s.” Frank introduced you and the older man’s eyes brightened as he looked you over, but it wasn’t with happiness, it was with amusement. Though you kept the smile on your face, there was something unsettling about the way the man looked at you as if he was assessing you and not being introduced to you. “This is Major Ray Schoonover. He’s… well, my mentor, and he’s been helpful for Bill for the last two deployments, too.” Ah. Figured he was military. Schoonover reached out to shake your hand, fingers gripping yours a little too tightly as he continued to eye you.

“Russo finally settling down?” There was an edge to his voice but you ignored it. You laughed, shaking your head as you pulled your hand away from his, eyes going back to Frank.

“I wouldn’t say that, no.” Frank shook his head, scoffing, but you continued. “We’re getting to know each other, though, and I…” You stopped speaking as you saw that Schoonover had already looked away from you, glancing down the hall toward Billy’s room. OK then.

“Well, Castle, since I’m here, I’ll go in and say hello and give Russo some shit and then be on my way.” Frank nodded, straightening up again and you gave a tiny nod as well, but the white-haired man didn’t even look in your direction again. “Good seeing you, Frank. Say hello to Maria and the kids.” He finally looked at you again and you saw in his eyes that you were already an afterthought; not important enough to verbally address a second time. Whatever. Schoonover cleared his throat and pulled his gaze away from you before striding down the hallway toward Billy’s door and away from you and Frank.

“He took me in when I joined, taught me how to be a Marine,” Frank explained as you headed toward the elevator. “Taught me to fight and to stand up and to lead.” As you stepped into the elevator, Frank shook his head. “Thought Bill could use some of the same right now.” Frank offered you a sad smile. “Schoonover’s a little… stiff, but he’s a good guy and a hell of a Marine, we’ve learned a lot from him.” You nodded, but still felt that there was something off about Schoonover - and about the way that he’d looked at you. “Bill’s been talking about makin’ contacts and Schoonover might just be able to help him with that, too. Figured I’d invite him here and see if I can give Bill a win after all this.” Oh. That makes sense, but… How can he… Billy’s in no shape to be... “Let’s get you home, kid. It’s been a long few days and I wanna see my kids.”

You nodded, taking a deep breath and following Frank through the hallway and toward the parking garage, the sound of Christmas music filling your ears.

---

212 notes · View notes

quietoneshots · 5 years ago

Text

Target Practice

Title: Target Practice

Fandom/Characters: John Wick / reader

Synopsis: Caught in the crossfire of a war you don’t understand, you get a moment with some dude in the midst of chaos.

A small note: No gun stuff, but some violence and blood because ya know, John Wick-ery.

The night watch job has never been the most convenient way to pay the rent, but convenience wasn’t really anything you were worried about. It was quiet, serene, and secure.

You like hanging out with all of the old antiques, crates upon crates of weird junk and rusted treasures. They were good silent friends. You especially liked a flat-top case of knives. They couldn’t hurt you, and you never really had reason to want to use them, but it was nice to know they were there, tucked away in case of an emergency. That seemed unlikely.

Late into the evening, when you’d already made a full round of the warehouse, and were usually tucked into a book, you heard the sharp sound of shattering glass.

That wasn’t good.

It was followed quickly by the thud of feet on concrete, circling ever closer.

You didn’t have to think. Your feet took you right to that case of knives. Without thinking of the ramifications of busting the glass you were meant to be protecting, you slammed your book down on the case and managed to fish out a suitably dangerous looking blade without too much damage to your hand. The footsteps echoed across the rows of anitquery, and you couldn’t be sure how close it was. You didn’t hear any gunshots, which was a relief and a conundrum.

You clutched the hilt in your fist, utterly confused and completely terrified. Had you ever even picked up a knife like this before?

They were rounding closer.

You readied yourself, remembering all of the classes you had taken, where to hit somebody to make it matter, clean up procedures, and maybe a two weeks notice to your boss.

You didn’t have time to finish the thought before a bloody shoulder rammed into your back, knocking the wind out of your lungs. You lunged around, stars flooding the corners of your eyes. A round face with an eyepatch stared back at you, eyes absolutely feral. It looked like this man had seen a ghost. Before you could process all of this, he had nailed your wrist with his own, knocking the knife from your hand, but miraculously turning away from you, ready to attack whomstever he was running from.

Without thinking, you felt for something, anything else with which to arm yourself from the case. Silent and slippery, you felt cool metal on your palm, and carefully found the handle of something more sinuous and sinewy than your previous pick. The man had not turned around. You carefully rose, trying not to wheeze and cough from the impact to your chest.

A dark shape rounded the corner, and the man with the eyepatch pounced. Both men fell the floor, squirming, dodging, you could barely get a grasp on who was who. You didn’t have such a luxury. With all of the adrenaline in your body, you ran forward and slammed the knife into the shoulder of the man on top, whose body went rigid at the impact. It wasn’t enough to kill him. You hadn’t wanted it to be. The feeling of steel into flesh was disgusting. Even as it was happening, you never wanted to experience that again.

You had miraculously stabbed the man with the eyepatch He tried to turn, to get a look at his assailant, but before he could register that you, lowly security guard and knife neophyte, had caused some serious damage, he slumped down with a gurgle, blood seeping onto the cold gray floor. The other man pushed himself off of the floor, clutching your first weapon of choice in his own hands.

You quickly dropped your knife, hands outstretched, staring in shock at both the man who had risen, almost entirely unscathed, from an honest to God knife fight, and the body slumped on the floor. “Oh my God please don’t kill me.”

The man, impeccably dressed and incredibly poised, did the same, knife clattering to the floor. His stare was surprised, brows raised, brown eyes wide in shock. You realized that you had kind of just saved this dude’s ass.

You both stayed that way, arms outstretched, gaze unwavering, surveying the damage around you.

He lowered his hands slowly. “Thank you.” His voice, deep and rough, was both grateful and skeptical of what the hell had just happened.

You couldn’t feel you limbs for all of the adrenaline. For some reason the only thing that sprang to your mouth was “Shit, my boss is going to kill me.”

The man’s mouth quirked upwards in a grim smile. “I can fix this.” He immediately reached into the pocket of his suit jacket, and you were relieved when he merely pulled out a phone. you had been ready to make a dash for the nearest rack of vintage suitcases, hoping they might provide some cover should this man decide you were a loose end he couldn’t afford. He spoke brusquely, quickly, to whoever was on the phone, asking for a small cleanup crew to immediately dispatch to the warehouse.

“Who are you?” You whispered.

“In your debt.” The man answered, reaching once again into a pocket in the suit. There must have been dozens of them. You could vaguely make out a thicker lining in the jacket, bulletproof maybe? It was nearly imperceptible. Dark hair covered his eyes, leaving you unable to get a read on any reaction from the man as he rummaged around in those pockets, until he pulled out a small gold compact, which opened like a locket. You watched, spellbound, as a small spike emerged from its side, with which he pricked his thumb with barely a grimace, and pressed a bloody thumbprint into the inside of the compact. He offered it to you, pressing it into your hands. The contact felt shocking after everything. You tentatively took it, investigating its strange markings, there was something inscribed in Latin on the elaborate surface, but you weren’t sharp enough on your dead languages to take a crack at what it said.

“I’ll stay until the crew finishes. Just to be sure.” He moved to slump on the floor across from you, leaning back on a dusty bookshelf with a sigh. You stayed standing, unsure that you would be able to get back up should you take a seat.

“Seriously, who are you?” It was almost laughable, all that had happened in the last four minutes.

“You don’t wanna know.’ He grimaced.

“I really do.” You insisted. “I mean, this is great,” you gestured to the pocket where you had stowed the golden compact, “but you also just saved my ass.”

He considered you for a moment, long legs crossed on the floor. There was a cut above his eyebrow, mostly healed, still angry and red. He made you feel frumpy in your pale blue button up. “John.” He raised a hand in a hello,

“Thank you, John.”

You heard the sound of a truck beeping, rolling backwards into the warehouse, garage door already open before you could even blink. “Already?” You questioned John.

“They’re efficient.” He answered tersely, making his way to his feet with a grunt. All of his words were short, but there was never any malice towards you.

An old man in a bowler hat stepped out of the passenger side of the van, surveying the landscape, a studious eye assessing any damages. “Well, you certainly like to give us a challenge, don’t you, John?”

“Somebody has to.” He smirked once again, a tinge of humor clouding those gaunt features.

“Ten minutes top.” He gestured with a black-gloved hand to the crew of outrageously burly folks behind him. You couldn’t fathom getting this place fixed up that fast, but you also hadn’t been able to fathom how this evening had already gone so far south, so you didn’t raise any complaints.

“She okay?” The old man gestured to you, and it was then that you realized you were shaking, ever so slightly. John nodded, and you knew he wasn’t talking about your physical condition, more your allegiance.

The old man whistled once again, and a large man with a spiraling arm tattoo approached with a bright orange blanket. “Try this.” He offered, and John tucked it around your shoulders, a comforting weight settling over you.

“We really oughta invest in black shock blankets. Keep this thing color coded.” The old man nodded in approval. It really did make you feel better.

True to his word, the clean up crew was done in record time, all evidence of blood and bodies off the floor, glass replaced, warehouse impeccable, maybe even better than they had found it. Hey, it wasn’t your job to dust.

“Be seeing you.” The old man whistled as hopped into the passenger seat of the van, surprisingly spry for someone who appeared to be well into their sixties.

As they drove off, John returned his attention to you. “When you need a favor called in, press this.” He rubbed a thumb over a tiny red button on the golden compact resting in your palm. “I’ll be there.”

“What kind of favor?” You already knew, but you had to ask.

“Anything. The skillset might suggest something serious.” He teased lightly.

“I will. I promise.”

“I’ll go then. Keep an eye out.”

“John?” You couldn’t resist.

“Be Seeing you.”

#john wick #imagine #keanu reeves

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mirohed · 6 years ago

Text

kim seunghun | love me, love me not

pairing: kim seunghun + gender neutral reader

wc: 3.7k

genre: hanahaki au + angst

synopsis: daffodils represent unrequited love. is that why you keep coughing them up?

warnings: implications of suggestive content, descriptions of illness (and mention of surgery), mention of alcohol

playlist: love me, love me not.

a/n: happy birthday to me!! im glad i finally got to finish and post this (its,,, been in my wips since at least february LMAO) !! they prob wont read this but i wanted to thank my irls for dealing w me and my kpop bullshit (esp bc none of them stan ygtb 😔)

It's getting worse.

Your knuckles turn white, gripping the porcelain of the toilet. Tears and blood alike fall into the bowl, disturbing the gentle peace of the water. You pound at your chest, the action causing you to hack up yellow daffodil petals stained suspicious red. It's a monotonous process at this point. Pound. Cough. Pound. Cough. Repeat until the damned coughing stops.

It takes ten minutes before you return to normal. Or at least as normal as you can get. You got lucky this time.

You watch the petals spiral downward into the gaping hole in the toilet and get flushed away.

Being with Seunghun wasn't always accompanied by a tightness in your chest and petals tickling your throat.

june 19, 2005; 2:52 PM.

"I wanna grow up," you had grumbled, your hands squeezed around the chains of the swingset. You and Seunghun had been riding your bikes for the first time since getting the training wheels off. You had sped down a hill ("First one down’s a rotten egg!") and lost control, falling off and scraping your knee on the pavement. He rushed you to your parents' house, supporting your weight with an arm around your waist. The two of you had settled for playing on the swingset in your backyard instead.

"Me too," he said. "I think." He'd been rocking forward and backward on the swing, eyes focused on the blades of grass underfoot.

"You think?"

"I don't know." You stayed silent, trying to gain as much height as possible with your uninjured leg. "I don't wanna grow up and stop being friends." That got you to stop right in your tracks, your leg planted on the ground.

"What?" You sent an incredulous look his way. "Why would we stop being friends?"

He had let go of the swing, his hands finding his lap. "Some of the older kids stopped being friends when they grew up," he mumbled. "I don't wanna stop being friends, but neither did they..."

You got off the swing, limping over to him and wrapping Seunghun in the biggest hug your six-year-old arms could muster.

"We're gonna be best friends forever. Don't forget that."

"Best friends forever." If he wrapped his arms tighter around you then, you didn’t pick up on it.

[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i had fun today :^))

[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i wanna adopt a puppy!!

[09:55 PM] huniebee🐝: will you promise to help me take care of it

You brighten as the messages come in, your phone's vibrations distracting you from the way your throat clogs.

[09:56 PM] you: ofc

[09:56 PM] you: well be the best puppy parents the worlds ever seen

[09:57 PM] huniebee🐝: wait i need to send the pics from the pet shelter

[Attachment: 8 images]

You save each picture, cooing over the puppies you got to meet. This time, you only get a precious few minutes of relative clarity before things get too distracting to ignore. You return to the bathroom with a resigned sigh that devolves into a fit of coughs.

You cough and retch and cough some more. By the time you're done, there are less petals and more blood in the toilet bowl. Your chest still feels full of something you can't quite spit out.

Then you hack up something new: a bloody stem with wet flowers still attached.

There's nothing left to do but cry, your whole body wracked with pain both physical and emotional.

august 29, 2011; 3:15 PM.

"Today was fun," you said, making yourself right at home on Seunghun's bed. Your new backpack hadn't lasted more than a couple minutes in his house before getting neglected on his carpet. Your best friend hummed in acknowledgement, already sitting at his desk with his workbook out. "I'm glad we got to meet some new people," you continued, "but that Hyunsuk guy? Seems like a major pain in the ass."

"Give him a chance."

"I know, I know. I will. But still," you huffed, “it was his first day too. No need to act like a know-it-all."

"I know. But it's the first day. Maybe he'll even himself out with time."

The conversation ended there, and you spent some time staring at his ceiling fan, the blades going round and round in a big, beautiful blur. Before long, you had grown bored, looking over at him only to see his pencil flying across the paper.

"Hey. Let's go to the mall and get pretzels." Seunghun spun around to face you, a foot stopping his chair from going too far.

"Sure," he gave a placid smile. "Do your work first."

You groaned as loudly as you could, sounding much like a petulant child straight out of elementary school. (Which was more or less the truth, but you thought you were better than that.) After a few minutes of uninterrupted whining and failing to get Seunghun to break, you spoke up. "Why do I need to do my work? You're Mr. Hardworking, Mr. Teacher's Pet."

"We're in middle school now," he had said, and you remember thinking you were in for a long lecture, "and pretty soon, we're gonna have to go to high school and take entrance exams and decide which university we want to go to and..." He averted his gaze, put down his pen. "We need to start growing up."

"We're still young," you reasoned, sitting up and letting your legs dangle off the side of his bed. "If anything, this is our time to experience things and, you know, make mistakes before we become adults!"

He was silent for a few long, agonizing moments, long enough to make you think you'd won. The pretzels were within reach; all you had to do was ask for them.

"I call a compromise."

Shit. Compromises were common in your friendship. Seunghun was always a little too good at stopping you from making stupid decisions. The worst part was that you could never argue with them. "We go to the mall to get pretzels—my treat—if, and only if, you do your work. We don't go until we're both finished. Deal?"

You opened your mouth, determined to pick the proposal apart, but his reasoning was (unpleasant, yet) bulletproof. Instead, you reached for your backpack with a heavy sigh. "First of all, fuck you. Second of all," you said, tugging your own workbook out, "you're impossible."

"I know. Do your work."

"Fine."

The math problems had been difficult, definitely harder than you were used to, but doable. If anything, the greasy mall pretzels that were way too salty to be healthy made it all worth it.

Seunghun gets understandably very worried when you text him from the hospital, but he comes to see you nonetheless. In his arms is a bouquet of daffodils.

"They symbolize friendship," he says, setting it down on the table next to you. You stare at the pristine yellow petals and flatten your lips in a tight smile. How ironic, you think, that he doesn't know they also symbolize unrequited love.

"The doctors wouldn't tell me why you're here. Classified information, they said." That much is true; nor much is known about the disease outside of shitty romance movies with unrealistically happy endings. Seunghun always believed in them. You never did.

You don't think your story's gonna have a happy ending.

You didn't want him to know anyway, lest he worry. (And you don't want to think about what would happen to your friendship if he found out he was the cause of it all.) "You don't have to tell me," he begins, sitting himself down on one of those rigid hospital chairs, "I just wanna know if it's bad. Like, well...you know.” He lowers his voice to a whisper. “Terminal."

"Like if I'm gonna die?"

"Yeah," he rubs the nape of his neck, a bit abashed, "more or less."

"I don't know. Sure hope not," you chuckle. That brings on a coughing fit, and Seunghun looks on, brows knit together. He moves close to offer what little comfort he can, but you hold your hand up to stop him; having him near will only make things worse.

Petals threaten to spill out of your mouth, and panic bubbles in your chest when he asks if you're okay. Your doctor, bless her, chooses that moment to enter. She shooes him out "to speak to you in private." Seunghun, to his credit, obliges and flashes you a smile and a thumbs-up as he goes. You try to mirror his expression (and hope your smile isn't more of a grimace).

The door closes behind him with a soft click. "Friend of yours?" the doctor asks.

You spit the blood-stained petals into your hand, your doctor graciously looking the other way as you toss them into the trash. "You could say that."

october 4, 2013; 5:11 PM.

You tugged at your clothing, feeling more than a little uncomfortable as you waited for your best friend to show up. The DJ, a former student, was already hard at work inside the gym. You heard the bass-boosted beginning of the Cupid Shuffle and shot a frantic text to Seunghun.

[05:11 PM] you: holy shit theyre playing the cupid shuffle can you PLEASE hurry up

[05:12 PM] you: idc if this is our first homecoming you better get your ass over here

[05:12 PM] huniebee🐝: give me like two minutes!!

[05:12 PM] you: THE SONGS GONNA BE OVER IN 2 MIN

"Are you waiting for Seunghun?" Hyunsuk had asked, tie already loosened. You two had gotten close—not as close as you and Seunghun, of course—this year as a result of having classes together. You wondered why you ever hated him.

"Yeah. He won't be too late, thank God, but I'm pissed we're missing the Cupid Shuffle. What about you? I remember you bragging all week about 'flexing your dance skills in front of the ladies.' Or are you all talk, as usual?"

"You know, it's almost like you don't want me to wait with you."

You had laughed, knocking your shoulder into his. The chatter kept up for a minute or two before he made his leave. ("Well, it's time for me to flex my dance muscles in front of the seniors," he chuckled, giving you a salute as he walked off.)

"I'm here! God, I can't believe I missed the Cupid Shuffle," Seunghun said, head hung low. You began to feel a little self-conscious; you were feeling out of place in your semi-formal outfit, yet he looked right at home in his dress shirt.

Chasing those thoughts away, you grinned. "You're here now, aren't you? Come on." You took his hand and dragged him into the gym.

You don't talk to Seunghun or to Hyunsuk after that. You're not sure if you should tell Hyunsuk about the whole situation when he texts you. Seunghun must have told him something was up, of course, and he's insightful enough, sensitive enough (when he wants to be), but you worry. You're afraid he'll open his big mouth. Instead, you send a few messages to your best friend.

[04:29 AM] you: hey

[04:29 AM] you: i just wanted to say in advance that im sorry

[04:29 AM] you: im so so sorry for everything ive done and for what im about to do

There's one last message in the text box, daring you to send it. "I'm sorry I love you," you whisper instead, deleting the message before you do something you’ll regret. To seal the deal, you tap through a few menus until you reach his contact. The picture you've assigned to him is one you took; he's about to take a big bite of cotton candy bigger than his head.

With a heavy heart (though you hope it’s just the weight of the daffodils in your chest), you block his contact. It's better this way. It has to be.

Your doctor said you could get rid of the thick, thorned vines with a vicegrip around your heart and lungs, could pluck the flowers that threaten to spill out at the mere thought of your best friend.

The biggest side effect of it all, she told you, was that you'd forget all about Kim Seunghun. So you steel yourself.

The last thing you think about before they insert the thin needle of anesthesia in your veins is Seunghun's smile, and how you'll never see it in person again.

And how even if you did, you wouldn't remember it as the grin from the boy you love.

october 4, 2013; 9:16 PM.

The frenetic strobe lighting in the gym slowed to a stop, having been replaced with a spotlight making lazy rounds through the gym.

You knew that marked the beginning of a slow song, and dragged Seunghun off the floor in search of some punch. He seemed to have different plans, tugging you back on the floor and pulling you flush against him.

"Where are you going?" he had asked. "You're the one who wanted to dance the night away." His hands found your waist, yours instinctively folding behind his neck. You had wanted to say something about how that claim was void now; he was the one that made you miss the Cupid Shuffle, but the words get extinguished when you look at him.

It was just like that time you practiced in fifth grade, but you swore there was something different about tonight and the way you swayed. You thought back to your practice session in fifth grade, how you had stepped on each other's feet, how you spent the whole time laughing. (For the record, it wasn't for any lack of balance; you started it, laughing as he cried out before he stomped on your toe.)

There was no laughing during the song. Everything was vibrant and deafening and there all at once. But at the same time, it was like everything had been stripped away. Everything but you and Seunghun.

Things changed after that. You were left with a dizzying, free-fall sort of feeling that picked up with each glance at your best friend. Almost every butterfly in the world was taking current residency in your stomach, making you feel light as your body moved to the music. Before long, there was something lodged at the back of your throat, nudging its way forward.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick," you said, a particularly heavy cough bringing the mysterious lump to your mouth.

Running your tongue along the smooth texture of the lump (okay, so not phlegm), you spat the offending object into the sink: a single yellow petal, coated in saliva.

You blinked.

Blinked again.

"Oh, what the fuck," you muttered, unlocking your phone. One quick Google search later—why the fuck am i coughing up flowers—you found an answer.

Flora mortem. You were loath to believe WebMD, of all things, but you found yourself tapping the link regardless. There was another term for the rare disease: Hanahaki.

Revising your search query was a mistake. The first result was the "hanahaki" tag on Tumblr, which showed nothing but models with tears in their eyes and bloodied flowers in their mouths. Yikes.

You made your way back to the party after that, but lingering in the back of your mind was the cause of the disease: a severe case of unrequited love.

There is only one definite cure for Hanahaki Disease: having the object of the afflicted's affections return their feelings.

You almost manage to purge the petal and the stupid WebMD page from your mind for the rest of the night.

Almost.

You wake up hours later. It's a little disorienting, sure, to come to with little memory of what landed you in the hospital. You peek under the oversized hospital gown to see bandages over your chest, get tempted to rip the IV drip from your arm. The doctor comes in right before you make a move on the needle. She tells you all about how the flowers in your lungs are gone for good.

"You're saved. But the final test," she says, pulling a phone from her pocket, "is this. Do you recognize the people in this picture?"

You recognize yourself next to a boy you don't know. His hand's around your waist, pulling you close. You wear matching grins. Given the way you're both dressed, you suspect the picture's from your freshman year's homecoming dance. Weird. Memory's kinda fuzzy from that night.

"Yeah. Myself. I don't know the other guy. Am I supposed to?"

"No. You're not. Congratulations," she smiles, placing a hand on your shoulder. "You're cured."

You look through all the old messages and pictures when you have some time to yourself. You reach out for the memory, the feeling of knowing Kim Seunghun. You get nothing, and while your brain knows something's wrong, you're more concerned about being able to breathe easy.

You move to a new city, far, far away from the place you grew up in. You finish your last year of high school, get a job, start college. You make new memories with new people. You forget all about Kim Seunghun.

It gets easy to forget that you weren't born with the ugly faded red scars that run up and down your chest. It's your only remaining tie to the man you loved so much you almost let yourself wither away. You think it's a good thing you cut him off; why stick around, why force yourself to suffer, for someone who doesn't love you back? Why be with someone if it physically hurts to stay by their side?

But sometimes you wonder. What happened? What happened to him after his best friend walked out of his life for good with no explanation?

Those days are never good. You distract yourself then, often with the familiar kick of alcohol burning in the back of your throat. You've never been much of a drinker, but you figure it's never too late to start.

Sometimes, the distraction comes from being in the arms of another.

(One of your favorite distractions, a young man named Byounggon, had run his fingers along the angry lines one night, jotting them down in his map of your body.

"Do you regret it?" he asked then, eyes half-lidded with drowsiness. You cupped his cheek, ran a thumb along the planes of his face.

"I wouldn't be here if I regretted it, now would I?" He let the corners of his mouth turn up just so, pressing his lips to yours.

You don't talk to him much nowadays, your interactions reduced to likes on Instagram, views on Snapchat. He's moved to a bigger city. "More opportunities," he said. You keep up with his dream of being a musician, always. There was a time when you were his number one supporter, after all.)

"Will that be all?" the cashier asks, jotting your order on the plastic cup. When you nod, he asks for your name. He jots that down too.

But then his eyes widen and he looks at you with renewed interest. "I'm sorry?"

"Is there a problem?" you asks, peering at your name (spelled correctly) on the cup. His eyes search for an answer within yours, some sort of explanation you can't seem to give. He averts his gaze, shakes his head, places your cup in the queue of orders.

"I'm sorry," he says. "Just thought you were someone I knew. Have a nice day." You parrot the phrase, catching a glimpse of the young man's name tag.

Seunghun, it reads in cheerful yellow. There's a doodle of a puppy in the top right corner. You think it's rather cute.

Two weeks later, you meet Seunghun again. This time, you're out for a morning jog. The crisp autumn air greets you as your feet meet the pavement and let out a satisfactory crunch under the burnt orange leaves on the sidewalk.

You both get stopped at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change. While you catch your breath, you don't miss the way he flinches, as though he didn't expect you to show up. He schools his expression into something friendly within no time, and you wonder if you imagined the whole thing.

"The weather's nice, isn't it?"

"It is," you pant. "On your way to work?" He raises a hand to tug at the strap of his backpack with a small smile.

"Yeah. You should come by, give us business," he grins. "On mornings like this, I recommend the hazelnut latte." You hum in agreement, not yet recovered enough to converse. "Tell you what, you come and get one when I'm working, I'll make sure it's on the house."

"Really? Maybe I'll swing by." The light changes, and you leave Seunghun behind, waving goodbye as you do.

You come in later that day, ordering a hazelnut latte as promised. Seunghun's manning the register, same as two weeks ago, and when he takes everything down, he smiles. You miss it as you pay, but there's something extra on your cup.

As you take a sip of the (delicious; his coworker Yedam must be some sort of brewing prodigy) latte, you catch a glimpse of the extra writing.

Along the side of the cup is his phone number.

[10:58 PM] seunghun!: more than anything i want to adopt a puppy

[10:59 PM] seunghun!: or rather another one

[10:59 PM] seunghun!: i named this one after an old friend

[Attachment: 1 image]

The picture of Seunghun and his dog brings a smile to your face. You've been spending more time with him recently, whether it be going on coffee runs ("Are you sure you're not just using me for my employee discount?") or complaining about life as a broke college student ("My card got declined trying to buy a bag of chips last night...").

It's nice. Spending time with him is...nice.

It's more than a simple distraction, somebody to hold close on nights your decisions try to haunt you. It’s friendship, something to hold onto when you lose your way in the dense forest of your mind and to cherish when you manage to make it to a clearing and bask in the sunshine.

You've caught a cold recently (probably from that bastard Seo Changbin in your communications class). Seunghun's given you some homemade tea, swearing on its usefulness. It certainly tastes good, the sweet honey chased by tangy lemon. Unfortunately, the tea isn't able to stop the persistent cough you've been plagued with.

Feeling phlegm start to come up, you turn the bathroom lights on, hacking it up and spitting into the sink.

Huh. That's weird.

There's no phlegm.

The only thing in the sink is a single golden petal, coated in saliva.

#seunghun scenario #seunghun imagine #seunghun angst #kim seunghun scenario #kim seunghun imagine #kim seunghun angst #ygtb scenario #ygtb imagine #ygtb fluff #yg treasure box scenario #yg treasure box imagine #yg treasure box angst #seunghun #ygtb #ari.doc #ariweek 2019 #c9boyz

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theonewiththefanfics · 6 years ago

Text

Love Is Our Resistance (one-shot)

Synopsys: She is his mission and his salvation.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Genre: angst

Warnings: none that I can think of, not even a swear word

Word count: 2072

(inspired by the artwork and beauty of min1919, here on Tumblr. Imma link to their page, just because they’re so talented like boo, you got a real gift)

(If you want, listen to Resistance by Muse, cause sorta kinda based on the song as well ;) )

The winter soldier watched from the rooftop as the coat-covered figure made her way through the snowy New-York streets. The city seemed completely abandoned, save for the woman and some stray cats rushing to find a warm place somewhere behind a dumpster or on a windowsill of a nearby apartment. It was the perfect opportunity. Her palm was pressed tightly against her ear, a phone definitely in between the stranger’s fingers as she spoke. He was high up on the top of a building but still could easily hear what she was saying. “Well, it’s not my fault I can’t control the weather. Do you think I like being stuck outside right now?” She wasn’t going to make it to her friend’s Christmas dinner. Her car had broken down a few blocks away, yet she still had miles to walk. “I’m sorry, Nat, I am. But let me make it up to you- tomorrow, brunch, just the two of us. And I’ll pay.” The soldier could imagine her smile even from so far away. Too bad she was not going to be able to fulfil the other promise either. He scaled the walls and rooftops until he was down and in an alleyway. Everything was deserted, not even one light shone in the windows. Yet even then no one would hear the shot. Nor would he allow her a second to scream. Snow crunched under his boots as he stalked towards her, pace matching that of her clicking heels. But then suddenly the atmosphere changed. Her head turned to the side. “Nat, I really am sorry.” The soldier noticed a tremble in her voice. “I really am but I have to go now. I’ll talk to you as soon as I can. I love you.” She said the last sentence in the sincerest way possible and it made the man stop dead in his tracks. In front of him, she had as well. Slowly, the woman turned around, winter winds whipping the giant white flakes in a beautiful dance of twirls and dips around her like she was an angel and diamonds encrusted her Y/H/C hair. She smiled. “I was wondering when they’d send you.”

He aimed the rifle at her head, the scope putting a red cross right in the middle of it. There was a painful grimace on the woman’s face. “S, okay James. I’ll turn around. So, it looks like it was supposed to.” The soldier’s hold on the rifle tightened as she so freely, so contently moved her body to face away from him. He could hear her soft sniffle and see how her hand trembled, phone still tightly clutched in between the gloved fingers. Her whole body was shaking as the woman waited for the inevitable shot. Hot tears streamed down her face and almost immediately they froze upon her reddened cheeks. But the bullet never came. Instead, there was a soft clunk against the snow-covered ground and a strong hand gripped her shoulder, dragging her in the nearby alley. “Who are you?” Bucky growled in her face, looking up and down her body, trying to find a feature that would reveal the mystery of why he couldn't pull the trigger, why he couldn't kill her. “I’m no one,” she whispered, looking at the soldier. He removed the mask from his mouth and took off the glasses the dark glasses, his ice-blue eyes gazing into her Y/E/C ones. She couldn't speak anymore, so only salty pearls streamed down her face as Y/N gazed upon the man she had been in love with and still is. A man who didn't even recognize her. “James, I know you have to do it.” “I- I-“ he looked like he was struggling for words, the cogs in his mind turning and spinning, trying to click back into place. “No!” he suddenly exclaimed. “I- I won’t!” “You have to,” there was conviction, strength and determination in her tone. “James…” “Why…” he choked on the word. “Why are you calling me by that name? Who are you?” Y/N sighed, letting her gaze settle on a snowflake and watched as it looped down to the ground disappearing in a mountain of the white powder. “You know who I am. I’m quite sure they gave you a file of information before sending you away on this mission.” “But that is not the whole thing,” his heart ached at her words and the soldier didn't even know why. “Who are you to me? And who am I to you?” The girl looked defeated like she could no longer fight her own will. So she relented. “We love one another. And that is why I’m a liability to you. To them. We,” her words turned into a puff of steam and it fluttered up into the dark before dissipating into nothing, “we met while you were on another mission a few years back. I wasn’t your target, not that time. We were in a bar, started chatting. I was slightly drunk… and you just… took care of me. You got me home safely, put me in bed, made sure to leave a glass of water by the bedside table… when I woke up, I thought you’d be gone, but I was wrong. You sat in a chair, right by the window, looking out to the world, like it was a creature you’ve never seen before. But when you looked at me- it was like all the pieces clicked.” The soldier’s eyebrows scrunched up as flashes of what he could only describe as a jagged memory came back. “You were nice to me,” he muttered. “You made me feel safe. And I couldn't help it... you were just so soft and warm...” And then Y/N smiled. “You made me feel safe as well.” But there was such sorrow in that kind gesture Bucky’s heart felt like it was being ripped in shreds. “James, if you don’t do this, they eventually will come after me. No matter what.” Y/N said it so matter of factly, Bucky was astounded. It was like her life had no worth at all. “And then they’ll hurt you. And I could never live with myself if I knew I was the reason for your pain.” Her palm was so tender against his rugged cheek, Bucky practically melted at the touch. “I can’t. I can’t do that. I-“ there was desperation in his look, “I love you. I know who you are, and I love you.” “I know, but this… it can’t happen… we can’t do that,” there was a sad, a heartbreaking smile painted upon Y/N’s lips. “We both know it to be true.” Bucky was crying now as well because, for the first time in forever, he finally remembered, he knew who he was and who the woman he was sent to assassinate was. “I can’t lose you. Not again.” And his forehead pressed tightly against hers, the snowflakes fluttering down from the sky settling in his hair and melting from their combined heat. “I love you.” “I know, baby. And I love you too. More than anything.” She kissed him, then and there, throwing all caution to the wind. Bucky reciprocated. Tenfold at least. His hands snaked around her waist, one of them entering under the coat and feeling Y/N’s warm sweater, pulling her as close as possible by the hem of the garment. They were meant for one another- she was his salvation and he was her home. And yet the rifle still laid in the snow gleaming under the white streetlights, reminding him of what he was there to do. “I won’t do it,” Bucky said after pulling back, pain in his blue orbs. “I refuse to. If they wanna torture me after that, so be it. But I will not kill you. And I won’t let them do it either.” “You can’t protect me, James. They found me and sent you. With or without the Winter Soldier, they’ll do it again. Only this time it will be with someone who won’t hesitate. Who won’t even think twice.” Bucky wanted to scream, he wanted to punch the brick wall and demolish it with his own hands at Y/N’s words. “I can’t lose you,” it ended up as a choked-back sigh. Her arms wove around his neck, pulling at the long dark tresses, so slowly he leaned his head down and hid his face in the crook of her neck. Y/N smelled of something sweet, something like cinnamon and sugar and coffee altogether, so cosy and warm and nice. Bucky wondered how he could even remember what those things were, given his diet was mostly stale pieces of bread, water and sometimes an instant noodle package if he got lucky. One small palm slid across his bulletproof vest covered back and yet he could still feel the weight of her actions, how gentle and loving she was being. “You’ll never lose me, James,” Y/N’s words were lost in the night, but he still heard them, still trembled as she repeated how much she loved the man. Then her palm settled on the knife at his side, pulling it out from its holster. “But you have to do it,” the blade was pointed at her stomach. Bucky immediately clutched onto her wrist, terror consuming his body, scared eyes looking into her calm Y/E/C ones. “Stop.” “Don’t think about it,” her gaze didn’t waver, so much love shining through, Bucky couldn’t help the sob ripping out of his throat. “Just aim it here and don’t think.” Y/N raised his hand and leaned forward, the knife now pressing against her ribcage where with an upwards push he could end her life. “I love you, James.” She rested her forehead against his, uncontrollable tears flowing down both of their cheeks. Bucky’s hand trembled, the grip upon the handle tightening and tightening. One push and she’d be gone. Forever. Hydra wouldn’t be able to ever hurt her or destroy her life. She would no longer be in danger just because the girl knew of him, loved him, cared for and adored him. It would all be over, and he could mourn the loss of this amazing person without the terror of finding her locked up in one of the damp cells in Siberia. He could make it so easy and swift she wouldn’t even be able to take a breath, nor would she feel a thing. But Bucky was weak and selfish, and the knife snapped in half, the razor-sharp blade dropping to the ground. He threw the heavy handle down as well and shook his head. “Not gonna happen.” “James-“ “No! I’m done with being controlled. I’m- I’m done with that life. It wasn’t even mine! It was some monster created by people who didn’t want their hands getting dirty. I wanna live. I want to love. I want to be with you.” And Y/N was just as selfish and weak, if not even more than Bucky, so how could she say no to those eyes, to that desperate mind breaking through decades of brutal chains, wishing for freedom and a home. She didn’t need much encouragement to once again kiss him, only this time there was a promise of future and hope sealed within the touch of their lips. His tongue glided along her freezing mouth until she let him inside and it was like homecoming for Bucky. It felt righter than anything in the world ever had. “Where do we go now?” Y/N whispered after coming back for some air. “We kinda need to go down real low.” “I’ll figure it out,” he squeezed her hips tighter and brought the woman closer to share their warmth. “We’ll figure it out. I promise.” “You do realise we both have a hefty price on our heads now, right?” Bucky huffed, looking around the deserted New-York street and the dark alleyway they were still in, huddled against one another. Suddenly, he broke off and walked back into the light, picking up the rifle and strapping it to his back. “So, we’ll move. We’ll move every day if we have to. I- I can’t lose you, I can’t give you up like that. Not ever again.” Y/N nodded, weaving her arms around Bucky’s middle and pressing her face against his chest. “Love is our resistance,” he heard her faint mumble. “No matter what they throw at us…”

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take): @nerissa98 @happyseagrill @asguardiansoftheavengers @crazybutconfidentaf @wishingforahome @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @pizzarollpatrol @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @thunderous-flower @who-cares-rn @projectxhappiness @callmebucky-doll @coal000 @killuaenthusiast @courtneychicken @sophiealiice @raquelbc2003 @watch-out-for-thorns @potentially-kinetic @thatonegirljessy99 @proxinge @bbkenna @buckysclub @ulired @fangirlofeverythingbasically @mrsalh32611 @horrorx570ximagines @the-nargles-made-me-do-it @pooslie @itsisabelanotisabella @httpmcrvel @purplebananatragedy @pxrrishly @parker-barnes-af @skulliebythesea @california-grown

A/N: I’m seeing Bohemian Rapsody on Wednesday, so you bet I’ll have at least one fic based on a Queen song :D

P.S. please, tell me what you thought :)

P.S.S. if you wanna be tagged or have any requests, drop a message :)

P.S.S.S. please, don’t repost without credit :)

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apriumjam · 6 years ago

Text

Satsuriku no Tenshi Light Novel Volume 1 - B3 (Part 4)

Satsuriku no Tenshi - Until Death Do Them Part - B3 (Part 4)

Story by Makoto Sanada, written by Chiren Kina, illustrations by Negiyan, translations by me.

If you want to help out with translations, feel free to contact me!

Prologue | B7 | B6 | B5 | B4 (Part 1 / Part 2) | B3 (Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4) | Zack’s Memory || Index

A wide, open room spreads out before her, lit by bright fluorescent lights.

The walls and floor are both pure white. It’s as if the room was just recently built, or perhaps recently repainted. There’s not a speck of dirt to be seen. At the far end of the room is a large monitor and a complicated-looking machine; a wall of clear, bulletproof glass serves as a barrier. In other words, this is a dead end.

“…”

(There’s nowhere to go…)

She knows Zack is drawing nearer even without looking behind her.

Taking in a small breath, Ray stands completely still.

…I can’t go back anymore. There wouldn’t be a point even if I did. There’s nowhere to run…

(And nowhere to go home to…)

“Your mother and father…are waiting for you in hell – ”

As she stands there motionlessly, she dimly remembers what Danny had told her while she had lain upon the operating table.

(Doctor…is hell an even worse place than that house…?)

She slowly turns to face the entrance to the room.

Zack stands there silently, not even a bit out of breath. And the Zack staring at her right now looks different than both the Zack she had first met, and the Zack who had accompanied her to this floor. He stares at her with hollow eyes.

“…”

Wordlessly, slowly, he approaches her. Then, he lifts up the grim reaper-like scythe once more, and brandishes it toward her.

(Zack, I’m sorry…I’m going to make you a liar…)

She slowly closes her eyes.

(…But…if he kills me here, I’m sure that I can go to heaven…)

Secretly, beneath her eyelids, this is what she thinks.

And then –

“Bang!”

A loud noise reverberates throughout the room – so loud it makes her heart seize.

(…!)

A bad feeling stirs within her. After all – that was unmistakably the sound of gunfire.

She opens her eyes wide, and sees Zack kneeling on the ground, hanging his head as he crouches there. Blood spills from his calves, staining the floor like some kind of juice.

“Ahahahah!”

Cathy appears behind the glass along with that insane laughter.

“So sorry for cutting things short just while things were getting good! This is my gun room, so I shot you.” Cathy’s voice is calm as Ray stares at her dumbfoundedly.

“…Gun room.”

“Yes. Just look around at all those guns pointing at you! I can make them aaaall shoot you with just a flick of this button. Amazing, right?” As she speaks, a number of gun muzzles poke out from the white walls. They’re surrounded at all sides – this definitely isn’t something they can avoid, like at B3’s entrance.

“Ah, putting that aside…watching your fall out just now…was veeery thrilling! Especially you, Zack! You truly are my ideal sinner! You struggle and writhe, but in the end, you truly can’t hold back your impulses! How wonderful…!” Cathy speaks to him in an ecstatic tone of voice – though her words don’t match her appearance of a lovestruck maiden. Just remembering how Zack had looked as he had abruptly changed expression and given chase after Ray makes Cathy tremble in excitement.

“…Shut…up…!” Zack slowly stands, dragging himself to his feet, and glowers at Cathy from behind the wall.

“…Zack!” Reacting to his voice, Ray instinctively rushes up to him.

“Stay away! I’ll kill you!” he barks out in rejection, glaring at her sharply.

“See? It seemed like you got a little control back from the pain, but look at you. You just can’t…hold back, can you?” Cathy licks her lips as she watches Zack desperately trying to stop himself from raising a hand against Ray. She speaks with the full intent of provoking him.

“Aah?! You just try to piss everyone off! I’ll kill ya!”

“Ahahahah, I only speak the truth. And the one who is going to be killed is the sinner – in other words, you, Zack. …Look. Rachel Gardner. I’ll give you this.”

From behind the bulletproof glass, Cathy tosses a red gun over to land at Ray’s feet, as if it were a piece of trash.

“You’ll be even with that, right? Now, kill each other! And then I’ll give the winner an even more splendid punishment!” She laughs shrilly, sounding entertained from the bottom of her heart.

In her insane mind, she vividly sees Zack and Ray’s beautiful battle. Her chest bursts with her insatiable desire to see it, to see it now.

(Kill each other – )

After a brief silence –

“…What’s the point in doing something like that?” Ray asks disinterestedly. Cathy’s expression changes immediately.

“Haah? Oh, stop it. You truly are boring. What’s the point in looking for something like meaning? Do you think something will come out of it? A sinner can’t accomplish anything. So there’s no need to look for meanings in anything you do.”

Cathy’s expression doesn’t fit a beautiful woman at all.

(…Boring…)

Ray falls into silence once more.

“…How fuckin’ boring…being some doll’s tool…”

(Zack thinks I’m boring, too…)

Did mom and dad not listen to me…because they also thought I was boring…?

(…But all I wanted…was to have a puppy…)

Why did things turn out this way?

On that cold night, the puppy had stared at her from out of that dirty, broken cardboard box, as if asking for helped. Thinking of that lovely face, Ray gently leans down to pick up the gun.

(It’s heavy…)

That feeling causes Ray’s memories to grow even more vivid.

“Now, entertain me…!”

Cathy’s voice grows more excited. She sees Ray’s movement as a signal that her awaited match is about to start.

(…Entertain…)

…But that wasn’t…entertaining…

“If yer gonna shoot, hurry up,” Zack says. The girl stands motionlessly in front of him, not even lifting the gun to point it at him.

“Hey, could it be, you’re afraid of pulling the trigger? You can’t escape from being a boring, uninteresting girl?” Cathy attempts to goad her into action. It’s almost like Ray really has become a doll.

“…No.” Staring fixatedly at the gun she holds, she says this clearly.

“Hey, Ray, even if ya don’t shoot me, I can’t stop myself from killing!” Zack yells, his eyebrows furrowing beneath his bandages.

The pointed end of the scythe trembles near the skin of Ray’s pale neck, skin which has never been burnt by the sun. But the blade doesn’t feel cold anymore.

“…I won’t shoot you.” After looking away for a moment, she says this firmly and resolutely.

“…That so. But I wanna kill so bad I can’t help it!” Zack’s voice is mixed with sorrow and frustration.

(Argh, shit!)

I don’t wanna kill ya like this. This is fuckin’ humiliating. I can’t even control myself. I know I don’t wanna kill ya right now.

But he can’t – stop.

(I wanna kill…)

When I try to think, that’s all I can think about. I want to feel that thrill so much. But if I killed you right now, I wouldn’t. All I want to do…is kill someone with my own two hands. I feel like I’m going insane.

“Haah…haah…”

Zack looks as if he’s trying to stop himself. His breathing becomes more and more ragged.

“…I’m sorry. I’m going to make you kill me while I’m still boring.” Ray sounds as if she understands everything.

“Yeah, yer right…! I’ll feel like shit! That’s why I told ya t’ shoot me already! Ya won’t miss from this range!” Halfway through, his voice changes as if to try to persuade her.

“…I won’t shoot you.” This is her will. It won’t change, no matter what happens.

(I won’t kill Zack…)

Because Zack swore he would kill me –

“Hahahah…what are ya sayin’ at a time like this? Ah, but…that’s right, ya want me t’ kill ya.” Zack’s mouth curves as he laughs humourlessly. But Ray tilts her head to the side.

“That’s true, but that’s not it. …This is my will – ”

And, within the room cloaked in silence, Ray begins to speak.

“I’m fine being killed by you. But…I don’t want…I don’t want this to turn out the way that woman wants. After all…Zack, you and I…aren’t tools.”

She speaks, staring intently into Zack’s eyes.

“So…killing, and being killed…are our own choices.”

And Zack feels as if all his strength leaves him.

…I’m not a tool.

That’s right…that’s right. It’s easy. Why didn’t I realise it before? I really am an idiot.

Aah, Ray. It’s like ya said…killing and being killed are both our choices.

‘Cause if they aren’t, then what the hell are they?

(And I wouldn’t make a pointless promise in the first place – )

“…Hahahahah!”

Zack gives out a large laugh, as if reclaiming his sanity.

“Hey, Ray…what are ya doin’, sayin’ interestin’ stuff now? Aah, I can’t hold back anymore! Hey, at least give me a smile! Now!”

Somewhat agitated, he sidles up to her.

(…Smile.)

Ray closes her eyes.

…When was the last time I smiled?

She feels like it had been when she had taken the puppy home, but she can’t remember.

How did I smile back then? I feel like I always smiled when I saw something cute.

And…I liked the sound of that music box. My favourite music box.

Mom bought it for me when I was seven years old. I was so happy. I listened to it all night. Because listening to that sound always made me just a bit happy…

(I wonder if I’ll be able to smile if I remember that music…)

“…”

She slowly opens her eyes, and looks at Zack.

And shows him a smile with just the corner of her lips, with eyes that look as if they reflect the very end of the world.

“…What a shitty smile. …Yer eyes really are dead.”

That awkward expression seems to sap up the last of his strength. He slowly lifts his scythe, keeping it away from her.

“…But…if yer smile becomes real…it’ll be great. Just imaginin’ myself killin’ ya like that…makes me smile better than anyone else.”

He stares at the monstrous face, wrapped in bandages, reflected back at him from the gleaming blade. And then, he shouts in a voice as loud as the very first time they had met:

“So good…that I could just kill myself!”

And then, he stabs himself in his abdomen with his own scythe, as hard as he can.

(…!)

Dark red blood splatters across Ray’s vision.

“…Zack…!”

(What just happened…?)

She can’t grasp the situation. Overwhelmed with confusion, she rushes up to him.

“What?!” Cathy’s voice rises threateningly.

Zack’s actions have completely and utterly surpassed her expectations. Rather than confused, like Ray is, she’s also enraged. Using the machine, she opens the door in the glass wall. Then, she advances upon Ray, and slaps her pale cheek as hard as she can.

(Ow…)

As if remembering something from the impact of that blow, for an instant, Ray looks up at Cathy with eyes full of hatred.

“Ugh, disgusting! I was wrong about you! You’re a failure of a sinner! Even though I gave you that gun, and all you had to do was pull the trigger! And to think that Isaac Foster was so stupid that he would kill himself to satisfy his own urges – how disappointing!”

Cathy almost sounds as if in mourning. This is the utterly worst situation that could have happened – it doesn’t look like anything she had pictured at all.

(I wanted to see Zack kill Rachel, unable to help himself…! And then I wanted to slowly, carefully take my time punishing him…this has put a damper on everything…!)

As she watches the bright red blood seep from Zack’s wound, she bites her own lips – a vivid red of the same colour.

“Aaah…I wish Zack had been the one left. He would have surely looked better covered in bullet holes…even if you are a sinner, you’re completely boring! Oh, Rachel…you’re so, so boring…!”

Cathy hits Ray on the cheek with all her strength once more, venting her anger.

(…It hurts…)

Ray closes her eyes for an instant. Beneath her eyelids, she can see her mother and father shouting and snarling at one another as they quarrel.

She doesn’t know when it had started anymore. But her father always beat her mother when they fought. It had been painful, and maybe that was why her mother had gone mad. Because her mom hadn’t been that way when she had bought the music box for her…

(But I’m boring now, so that’s why I’m being kicked…? By this woman…)

“…I don’t remember you having the right to decide something like that.” Ray’s voice now has a bit of anger as she looks into the woman’s lined eyes.

“Hah? You’re trying to defy me, you failure of a sinner? Hey…why did someone as boring as you…even come here?”

Cathy looks down at Ray, her large eyes flaring up despite her discomfort at the girl’s actions.

“…Uugh…”

At that moment, a soft groan reaches Ray’s and Cathy’s ears. Zack.

Ray reflexively turns to look at him. The man convulses and twitches slightly.

“…Oh my, he’s still alive! He really is just like a monster…how wonderful!”

Cathy’s abrupt change in attitude is amazing. She rushes up to him as if running to her lover.

“…Are you going to kill him?” Ray asks.

“Of course. After all, I’m the only one who can judge such a splendid sinner…” Cathy answers, as if it should be obvious.

And then, Cathy recalls how Zack had looked on B6 – before he had become a sacrifice, he had been killing sacrifices himself. And his expression had been solely that of a murderer. Seeing him through her cameras – remembering him now – causes a vivid chill to rush through her. It had been so stimulating to see him kill the sacrifices as his instincts and desires bade him to. So unlike her…

(But because of this bitch, he became a sacrifice…)

But, to tell the truth, this is convenient.

Because of her, I can punish him.

“Ahahahah!”

Simply imagining herself killing him has her laughing uncontrollably.

I’ll be the one to execute him…! Because I’m the only condemner here!

(I wonder what face he’ll make as he dies? I can’t wait to see…my chest is absolutely burning!)

…Ring.

And from somewhere, a small bell rings. Of course, Ray is the only one to hear it.

“…Stop.”

As if reacting to that sound, Ray points the gun at Cathy, who looks agitated. Ray’s expression is stiff.

“Oh, my…Rachel, what are you doing now? You want to shoot me? But, sorry to say…that gun wasn’t loaded from the very start! Ahahahah! However…I’m a little impressed by your attitude to point that at me.”

Cathy sneers at Ray mockingly. To her, the girl looks like nothing more than a small deer.

(It’s not…loaded…?)

Seeing Ray waver uncertainly, Cathy reaches into her tight skirt with a smirk. She pulls out a small handgun.

“Bang!”

Her tone is jesting. But she points at the red gun Ray holds with keen precision and shoots it out of her small hand.

“Heheheh…now then, I’ll keep you alive so I can punish you.”

Cathy touches Zack’s body with her red gloved-hands.

Ring…

In that moment, Ray hears that ring again.

(…A blue…full moon…)

When she closes her eyes for just a second, she sees that blue moon. That large, almost artificially blue full moon…

Yes…she remembers the night of that blue moon very well…

Beneath the small light hanging from the ceiling, a man straddles a woman. His face is terrifying, monstrous. The man stabs the woman’s body over and over and over again. She doesn’t move at all, like a doll.

As she had looked upon that scene, she had wished it was a dream. But it wasn’t.

…What happened after, too…

“…No.”

Ray opens her eyes. She mumbles as if waking from a dream, and reaches into the purse slung about her shoulder.

(…I shouldn’t be alive…)

So –

“…I won’t let you kill Zack. Because he’s the one who is going to kill me.”

And then, almost like magic, she pulls a black handgun out of her purse, and points it at Cathy unwaveringly.

In an instant, Cathy removes herself from Zack, and whirls to face the girl.

“…Where did you get that?!” Her face twists in confusion.

One would never believe that Ray were wielding a gun with that calm face of hers.

“Bang.”

And, without even an atom of hesitation, she shoots Cathy in the abdomen.

“…!”

Cathy is mute from astonishment. She could have never expected this to happen.

(Why does she have a gun…? I don’t understand…)

But she doesn’t have time to wonder about her situation right now. A sharp pain from her abdomen makes her unable to stand. She falls to the ground.

“Aaargh…! Where did you get that gun?!” she screams, trying to drown out the pain.

“…” Ray silently looks down at her. Her eyes are cold. They hide no emotion.

But why? For an instant, as Cathy looks into those emotionless eyes and sees herself reflected in them, she feels a thrill.

“Ahahah! Rachel, you’ve shown your true colours! …Amazing!”

Cathy’s laughter becomes more and more deranged as she bathes in that strange sensation. She crawls along the floor, drawing nearer to Ray’s legs.

(…Why does she look so happy…?)

Ray tilts her head at the abnormality of the situation. For some reason, Cathy’s expression is creepily delighted to her.

“Hey, Rachel. I’ll judge you, okay…? No, I will judge you…I’ll judge the demon hiding beneath that composed face of yours…!”

Cathy speaks almost coquettishly at first as she staggers to her feet; then her voice grows rougher. She holds her gun up to point it at Ray.

“…Shut up.”

Someone whispers.

That harsh tone isn’t Ray’s.

“Eh?”

Slowly, Cathy turns around. Behind her stands Zack, thirsty for blood.

“What are ya lookin’ so happy for when ya got shot, you sadomasochistic bitch?” He sounds groggy, as if he’s just gotten up from bed. He lifts his scythe.

“’Cause of yer annoyin’ voice, I wanna kill so bad…that I woke up!”

With a bout of insane laughter, Zack slices off Cathy’s pale arm. For a second, she doesn’t recognise the shape as if falls in an arc.

“Aaargh?!” The moment she realises that arm to be hers, a hot pain of the likes she’s never felt before rushes through her body. Helplessly, lets out a scream of anguish.

“This…can’t be real…”

Her vision swims as she looks up at Zack with an expression of despair.

(Why…? I was going to punish Zack…!)

I’m not a sinner. I’m always right. So it’s not right for me to be killed…

“This is reality! Wake up!” Zack yells. He sounds as if he’s talking to both himself and to her. Then, he slices Cathy’s abdomen from top to bottom. Cathy falls, her body twisting unnaturally. Zack seems satisfied as he looks upon her and smiles.

“…Ah, but…guess ya fell asleep anyway.”

His expression turns to disgust as he looks down at Cathy’s body, lying on the ground like a motionless doll.

(Aah…this is the worst…that I would be killed by a sinner…)

Cathy’s eyes close to the world that whirls around her, as if to sleep. Her mascara is perfectly applied to her long eyelashes.

(But…it’s awful, but…it’s wonderful…)

She laughs. She has been killed by Zack.

And then, in the pool of her own blood, like melting chocolate, she stops breathing.

She will never wake up. She can’t judge people as good or bad anymore.

In her life, she had been a sheltered girl; she had fallen into ruin due to troubles in her family; and then she had worked at a jail. There was only one thing that remained the same throughout all the lives she had led. And that was that she judged sinners.

(…I am…the condemner…)

All Cathy knows is that in the darkness, there are no good or bad people.

▲▽

“…Zack.”

As Cathy’s vision grows dark, Ray rushes to Zack’s side as quickly as she can.

“Yeah…” Zack looks down at her with a somewhat uncomfortable expression. All the madness has left him.

“Zack…are you okay?”

(…Did the poison wear off…?)

Ray feels relieved to hear his gentle voice.

“Aah?! My stomach hurts, what d’ya think?!” Zack answers briskly.

“…”

(His stomach hurts…?)

Ray looks astonished.

She didn’t think she would hear those words from someone who had cut themselves a few minutes ago. After all, Zack looks calm and composed, to the point she nearly forgets her worry.

(…So he can’t be okay. But…he looks fine. But if I’m too pushy, he’ll get upset…)

“Um…don’t push yourself too much.”

After careful consideration, this is what she says.

“Shut up. You worry about yerself.”

But Zack is annoyed at her concern, and speaks with a delight one would not associate to an injured man.

“Anyway, did ya see her face?!”

“…Yeah.”

Feeling somewhat overwhelmed by how much energy he has, she gives a quiet nod.

“That was great! And ya did pretty good, too!” Zack grins as he recalls the expression of despair Cathy had made when he had raised his weapon at her. It was as if she had become just a normal woman. Simply remembering that wretched face has Zack in a good mood. He feels as if all his pain might simply melt away.

“…Really?”

“Yeah! I feel all better now!”

“…That’s good.” Looking at Zack’s satisfied expression, Ray can’t help but feel rather complicated.

(That woman really did end up getting killed by him after all…)

She feels a bit as if she’s been defeated by something.

(I wonder…if Zack had killed me back then, if I would be in heaven now.)

She’s lost in thought for a moment as she thinks of that place; a place no one on this world has ever been to.

“So, now that the bitch is gone, let’s go.”

Zack lightly smacks Ray on the top of the head as she continues to look down at the ground glumly.

“Eh…? Your stomach…are you okay now?”

“Ah? It just hurts a little, it’s nothin’,” he replies. It’s true that he’s in pain. But – it almost doesn’t seem like he’s cut himself that deep. The pain is ebbing away. And that’s impossible – but Zack doesn’t wonder about it.

All he does is think privately to himself – I really might be a monster.

Ray can only be surprised at Zack’s resilience. After getting shocked and escaping from a room of poison gas, he seems to be lively and energetic. It’s true that he has a resilience normal people don’t have.

“Okay…I’m sure there’s an elevator somewhere ahead.”

Whilst yet finding his apparent immortality to be utterly baffling, the girl points to the other side of the glass wall.

“Then let’s get goin’.”

“Okay…”

(…Is he really all right?)

In the room with Cathy’s large machine is a passageway marked EV. Ray predicts that this means it leads to the elevator. However, the door is locked.

“Hey, Ray. The door won’t open,” Zack says, kicking it.

“Wait. I’ll open it now.” Ray flicks the switch that says EV up. The machine also has numerous other buttons and switches, like “electric chair”, “dolls”, “applause”, and so on.

“Oh, it’s open now.”

“It looks like she was using that machine to do all sorts of things…”

“Aah? She was doin’ somethin’ that stupid? What an annoyin’ person.” Zack’s statement is intermingled with a yawn.

“Yeah.” Ray nods as she recalls Cathy with cold eyes. That is an expression Ray shows when she’s angry. But Zack doesn’t notice that slight change.

“Hey, Zack.”

“What is it?”

“…We aren’t tools.” As if to push away the rage she feels toward Cathy, Ray repeats the words she had said earlier.

“Yeah, we aren’t.” Laughing lightly, Zack turns his back on Cathy’s dead body.

“We goin’?”

“Yeah.”

Then, the two of them finally proceed through the now open door.

▲▽

Walking down the hall, they find that there really is an elevator there. Ray pushes the up button. But the doors don’t open. No matter how many times she presses the button, the elevator doesn’t give any indication that it will open for them.

(…Why?)

“…The elevator won’t work.” Ray tilts her head in confusion as she glances toward Zack.

“Huh? We came all this way, ‘n this happens. Maybe ya gotta use that machine?” Zack clicks his tongue.

“Maybe, but I didn’t see a switch like that…”

“So what are we gonna do?”

“I’ll think of a way to open it…”

“Hurry up, my stomach hurts.”

“Okay, I’ll try.”

(Is there some sort of mechanism…?)

Ray is somewhat worried. No matter how Zack appears to be, it’s obvious that they must get out of here quickly and treat his injury. Because it’s still slowly bleeding.

(But…is it because he won’t kill me unless the wound is healed…?)

As she comes upon that strange thought, she suddenly realises that there is something written on the opposite wall to the elevator.

“If you wish to open the door, pronounce your name to God.

“If you are free of lies, give the name that resides within you,

“And then know yourself.

“However, know that God has no need of the impure.”

There is nothing else that would appear to point toward how to open the door. Therefore, Ray can only assume that this must be a hint.

(If you wish to open the door, give your name to God…)

“Rachel Gardner.”

With a small voice, Ray faces the elevators and whispers her name. However, the doors don’t open.

(So that didn’t work…)

As if to divert her gaze from the truth, Ray looks away.

(Or maybe – )

“Hey, Zack…I want you to say your full name in front of the elevator.”

With just a slight amount of pain in her expression, Ray asks this of Zack.

“Aah? Why?” His face twists in a scowl.

“Because the doors might open…” Her voice sounds like it might fade at any moment.

“Your name won’t work?”

“…No.”

(…God has no need of the impure…)

The words scrawl across her vision. They pierce her heart.

“Well, whatever…Isaac Foster.”

Despite feeling confused by Ray’s instructions, the man recites his name as asked. And then, with splendid timing, the doors indeed open. It’s as if someone had been operating the elevator from somewhere else.

“What the hell, seriously?!”

Zack seems utterly delighted, almost viewing the door’s trick as some sort of magic. He quickly steps into the elevator.

(It opened…so, my name wasn’t good…)

I really am…

Her heart throbs in her chest. With a grim but determined expression, Ray embarks upon the elevator as well.

▲▽

“Hey, Zack…were you happy when you cut open your own stomach?” Ray asks as the elevator finally begins to move.

“Huh? Don’t compare me t’ that sadomasochistic bitch. I just thought it would be better than killin’ ya when ya got that borin’ face, and then gettin’ killed by her.” Zack’s expression is somewhat bitter as he replies.

“I see…”

“…Anyway, that gun ya used wasn’t hers. Where’d ya get it?” His voice is somewhat sharp now.

“…That was my gun…”

Despite feeling somewhat shocked, she replies carefully.

“Where were ya hidin’ that thing?”

“…I wasn’t hiding it. It was in my purse. Wrapped in a handkerchief…I witnessed a murder, so, I’ve always…”

“…Then why didncha use that in the first place?”

“…I won’t kill myself. Because God won’t allow it.”

“No, that’s not what I meant…”

“And, you’re the one who is going to kill me.” Her declaration is resolute, as if to interrupt him – or perhaps to put this topic of discussion behind them.

“Haah…I can’t really tell if yer smart or stupid. …Well, whatever. Ya were right t’ shoot her back then. Yer timing was so good, just rememberin’ it makes me want t’ laugh.” Zack smiles gleefully.

“…You’re in a good mood,” Ray says.

She isn’t sure why, but seeing him look so happy makes her happy as well. That’s what she feels.

“…I guess so. You are, too…yeah?”

But – she doesn’t notice that his voice grows softer and softer.

After a short while, the elevator doors open with what sounds like a thunk. They’ve probably arrived at B2.

Ray takes a single step into the hallway. This floor smells sweet. And the hall is lined with numerous stained-glass windows, almost like a church.

(Pretty…)

She stares down the hallway in fascination for a short time.

However, for some reason, she can’t sense Zack coming out behind her at all.

“…Zack…?”

A terrible feeling assails her from head to toe. Slowly, she turns around.

(…Eh?)

Her gaze falls upon Zack – quietly lying down on the floor in the elevator.

A large pool of blood has formed beneath him from the wound he had given himself earlier.

(…Was that sound earlier…from when he fell…?)

(…He really wasn’t okay…)

Aah…

No…

No, Zack, no…I don’t want this.

Even though he swore he would kill me. Even though he swore to God.

Ray rushes into the elevator and tightly grasps one of Zack’s hands, as if in prayer. Though this hand had previously brought countless people to despair – to Ray, that large hand was that of an angel’s, an angel who would lead her to heaven.

“…Zack…!”

Ray calls his name from the very bottom of her heart, trying to convey those emotions, wishing that he would open his eyes.

In a hollow world that doesn’t contain even despair, Zack faintly hears Ray pleadingly calling his name.

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titikparas · 3 years ago

Text

BTS dan Timeline hidupku

(You) kill me softly, I can’t run away anymore (Blood sweat and tear,2016-9 Oct)

Time’s so cruel I hate us, seeing each other for once is now so hard between us, and how many sleepless nights do I have to spend (Spring Day, 2017- 12 Feb)

Run if you can’t fly, walk if you can’t run, crawl if you can’t walk,, crawl to gear up, today we will survive, never die today. Trust me on your side together we won’t die (Not today, 2017 19 Feb)

Afraid I was, afraid to be loved for who I am (Love Yourself Highlight Reel, 2017-17 Aug)

Just like you, I’m so scared, when you see me (Serendipity, 2017-4 Sep)

Don’t look back (DNA, 2017 - 18 Sep)

I’m so firin’ firin’ boy your time’s up, keep on an runnin’ and runnin’ until I catch up. HOW YOU DARE said that “you were running and I am still crawl” foot foot watch it your mouth mouth you watch it, don’t need see you you anymore. This is the last farewell. Your cornea gets shocked when it sees us (me) (MIC DROP; 2017-4 Nov)

The route I took, I forgot. I even became quite unsure of who I was. For you (life) I could pretend like I was strong when I was hurt. Look at me, even I gave up on myself. You say I’m unfamiliar, changed into to the one you used to like. You say I’m not myself which you knew well. I don’t know why. (Fake love, 2018-18 May)

I just can’t bear the storm inside my heart. The real myself inside the smiling mask I reveal it entirely (Epiphany, 2018-9 Aug)

No more irony for I was always myself. Point your fingers, I couldn’t care less (IDOL, 2018-24 Aug)

I wish it rains all day, cuz then people wouldn’t stare at me. Cuz the umbrella would cover the sad face, cuz in the rain people are busy minding themselves. Gonna breathe a little slower. (Forever Rain, 2018-22 Oct)

If love and hate are the same words, I love you Seoul (Jogja). If love and hate are the same words, I hate you Seoul (Jogja). (seoul, 2018-23 Oct)

Can’t breathe in the sunlight. Got to hide your heart (Moonchild, 2018-24 Oct)

From the moment I met you (BTS) ya, my life was all you ya. You’re the star that turns ordinaries into extraordinaries. Listen my baby (BTS) I’m flying high in the sky. Let’s me fly (Boy With Luv, 2019-10 Apr)

When I close my eyes, in the darkness your light woah, lights the way for me, we can walk forward without fear, you (BTS) and I. you’re my light, you’re my light, always shine into my heart. No matter how far apart we are your light shines on me. Decide for yourself what it means to be happy , Everyday take a step to grow up. It’s okay to be you (Light, 2019-2 Jul)

YOU’VE SHOWN ME I HAVE REASONS, I SHOULD LOVE MYSELF (LOVE MYSELF, 2018-24 AUG) - 2019 ( I Found this song)

I know that I messed up but I promise I can make it right ( Meke it Right, 2019-18 Oct)

I’ve been trying all my life to separate the time, in between the having it all and giving it up (Suga’s Interlude, 2019-6 Dec)

I will take it away before you stumble, I will stay by your side until you survive. Hope it will bloom. They say life is full of paradox, All you gotta do is gettin’ used to this marathon. Is the world just tough on you? ‘everyone is tired’ (Winter Flower, 2020-6 Jan)

Let my own feet carry me, I’ll go in myself in the deepest depths, I saw myself, Slwoly I open my eyes ( Black Swan, 2020-27 Jan)

I let myself go away. I don’t care, choices by my fate, so we’re here. Look ahead, the way is shining. Keep going now. ( Ego, 2020-2 Feb)

Of course I’m not unafraid, of course it’s not all okay. Gotta go insane to stay sane. Where my pain lies, let me take a breath. ( ON, 2020-21 Feb)

We had nothing but dreams. Don’t wanna die, but so much pain too much crying, so worn out is the blade. Keep thinking is this still a dream? (study) (We are Bulletproof: the Eternal, 2020-11 Jun)

In a world where you feel cold, you gotta stay gold. (Say Gold, 2020-26 Jun)

I got the medicine so you should keep ya eyes on the ball. So I’mma light it up like dynamite. (Dynamite, 2020-21 Aug)

Close your eyes for a moment, hold my hand, to that future, let’s run away. (Life Goes On, 2020, 20-Nov)

Don’t have to be right, just wanted you to stay the way you are. And I found you, and you suddenly disappear ( Film out, 2021-1 Apr)

Smooth like butter kuje a criminal undercover. Gon’ pop like trouble breaking into your heart like that.know that I got that heat, let me show you cause talk is cheap (Julid-ASEAN IPR). ( Butter, 2021-21 May)

Just dream about that moment, when you look yourself right in the eye, eye, eye. We don’t need to worry, couse when we fall we know how to land ( when your stress come back, you know how to deal with). Don’t need to talk the talk, just walk the walk. Couse we don’t need permission to dance (write). (Permission to dance, 2021-9 Jul)

You make me wake up everyday. Thank you for coming like a miracle. It resembles a miracle, it’s like a miracle. (Stay Alive, 2022-11 Feb)

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ninjakitty15 · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter Nine: Death Becomes Her (Loki X OFC Pairing)

"Leave the bullet in, as long as the body is still warm, his parts might still work enough to feel pain so he's gonna feel like he has the worst migraine in the history of brain trauma," I instructed once we returned to homebase and properly secured the body. "I should also tell you since he's already dead, whatever I do to him now doesn't count as being inhumane or cruel because the dead don't count. Yay loopholes!"

"You are far too happy about this whole situation, I'm not sure which is worse, interrogating the dead or getting a second chance to break someone open," Clint told me as he stepped back and locked me in the room where the body was. "I'm surprised Tony agreed to this actually, usually he wants to do all the talking."

"He lacks the whole communing with the deceased thing I got going for me," I replied. "He had his chance to talk to him before the dude was shot." I leaned down to the where the body lay on the exam table, a hand on his chest and whispered in his ear. "Wake up, assbutt, you ain't out yet." His eyes shot open though milky in death and he looked to where I stood and the fear came right back.

"No," he groaned.

"Oh hell yeah. You're mine now, bitch. You're going to answer my questions and then some of theirs, the nice people that lent me your body, then I'm sending your soul to a good friend of mine that knows what to do with bad seeds like you."

The corpse looked frantically around for an escape but couldn't even sit up as I had full control of what he could do as a zombie, perks of the job.

For emphasis, I pulled on a pair of latex gloves and snapped them against my wrist like an evil nurse. "Better bite the pillow, I'm going in raw. How many are working for Hydra?"

"Five to my knowledge, maybe more since you were caught, we thought with you gone, our survival would be greater on their side."

"If you didn't know how they caught me, who would?"

"I don't know which of the others found out where you were, all I was told was you were contained and out of the equation until they could find a way to use you."

"How long have they known about us?"

"Six years. They spent one year tracking and gathering intel before putting their plans to action which led to you and the ones that perished or joined forces."

Before I could ask another question, the bulletproof glass containing us was tapped and I turned to see Tony waiting on the other side, wanting his turn of course. I leaned in close again and whispered in his ear once more. "You will answer their questions unless it pertains to our origins or to me exclusively at which point I will speed up the rotting inside you till there's nothing left but a shell and your trapped soul inside it. You know me, you know what comes next." I straightened up and took my hand off his chest then waited to be let out of the cell so Tony could go in. "He's all yours."

"He's not gonna try and bite me is he?"

"Only if he's hungry," I joked. "He won't move unless I want him to. I need to blow off some steam, if you need me I'll be around somewhere." I shrugged and walked away from the interrogation though still kept a connection to the prisoner to make sure he didn't spill any secrets between necromancers.

I found myself drawn back to Loki in his room who was currently studying the dagger still, careful not to touch the blade and seemed to not hear me slip into his space. His hands traced the designs on the hilt, his expression mostly blank with the hint of concentration. "Those aren't meant for you," I warned lightly.

Loki spun around and arched an eyebrow at me, locking eyes as he took me in. "I've handled many different knives before."

"Had you taken that one before I got to it, you wouldn't have hands left."

"Then why can I now?"

"I absorbed what would have rotted your hands past the bones, I told you no one outside of necromancers can use our tools."

He looked almost like a kid in trouble for stealing cookies before dinner though still managed to look like he did nothing wrong at the same time. "You seem different than the woman I've known however short that time's been. Why? What's changed?"

He wasn't wrong but I couldn't tell him exactly why I went from laid back to a vengeful bossass bitch. "Things just got personal."

He took a challenging step toward me, much like when he first met me in the glass cage, cautious yet confident. "So the power radiating from you right now, that's always been there?"

"I'm rarely using 100%, what you're feeling is maybe 75% and what I was before that was a static 50% at best. Now you tell me something, is the hunger in your eyes for me or for what I possess?"

"I'm not nor have any intention of owning you and what you are. What use would that be to me what I can't hone myself? If I had wanted it, I wouldn't have set you free like I did, I'd have hid you away still bound in some form and come back when the Avengers weren't looking to have my way with you. Is this because your people are turning on you that you demand such answers from me? You know my history, you know I've been in the same position you are now, betrayed by those closest to me. What you see in my eyes is me being in awe of what you've been hiding this whole time, the lust is more for the woman before me that's proven herself a goddess."

"What should it matter what kind of being I am?"

"It matters when I want you by my side for as long as possible and mere mortals don't last that long," he replied darkly. "I chose you over the Avengers, the people permitting me to stay on this planet and not casting me out like my own people would, given the chance. Why do you think that is? It's not because of what you can do or even what you are. Look into my eyes once more and tell me what you see." Green faded then and crimson took over instantly and I realized this was as close as Loki could probably get to kneeling to me. He hated his true form and allowed me to see it, he was vulnerable then. "Do not take your rage out on me, not that way at least, I told you already I am yours if you'll have me. There is no benefit to lying to you, not then, not now."

I was silent for a moment though never took my eyes off the earthbound Frost Giant in front of me. "So you would've stayed with me if I killed him, even though the Avengers would be after us?"

He scoffed at the question. "Gladly, I would've enjoyed it more leaving them for you than any other reason presented."

"Even if it meant angering Thor."

"For all the times I've saved his life and tried to do right by him, he can seriously go electrocute himself, I'm done trying to impress him, far too old for that." He was back to his Asgardian form then, all green and grand. "Why are you still uncertain of my loyalty?"

"I'm not."

"There's so much rage inside you, I can feel it, is it all from that traitor?"

"Some of it."

His eyes searched for a better answer from me as he was quiet for a moment. "It will fester if you keep that bottled up."

"I wanted to use it on the rat-"

"-But Stark wouldn't let you, I know. There are other ways to cool down and I did say you can have me."

"I feel like a succubus only needing you for sex."

"Give it time, there are other needs too."

"I might break you."

"And I might laugh at your attempt to," he challenged.

That apparently set me off as I lunged at him, closing the distance, shoving him hard back against a wall, connecting our lips hungrily. I shouldn't have been surprised but was still more than happy when it became a sexual battle of dominance between two demi gods, the lights exploding in the room from the clash of power between the two of us.

It ended up being a really steamy makeout session before I calmed down and went back to the laidback chick that had a lot of TV shows to catch up on still. As for the prisoner, I cut the connection once they got out enough from him and he was beheaded and burned right after for good measure. Tony kicked both me and Loki out of the compound for the day, getting sick of us just watching TV and shagging all the time, apparently I had earned enough of his trust not initially killing the rat when I had the chance. It was actually kinda nice to get out and not have to kick ass to get fresh air, any time people stopped at stared at the god that tried to take over their city, they got scared off by the death demi god that either showed her beast mode face or brought up a dead relative that hit too close to home. And then of course there were the creeps that took no notice of the Frost Giant and pestered the quiet girl that hated people.

"You're such a pretty girl, why don't you smile more?" one middle aged man noted while we waited for the train.

"Because it makes your poor wife Alice sad when you're a creep to random women," I replied. "More than she already is from you abusing her children."

The look on the bastard's face was a mix of horror and rage from being called out. "What the hell-?"

"Mary didn't raise you that way either, must be Aaron then or you're just inherently evil without any women witnesses around," I continued. "Hey random question, anyone know the number of the local social workers?"

"You little-!" the man started, advancing on me but Loki stepped in and cut him off, towering over him with a dangerous glint in his eyes while catching his hand before he intended to strike me.

"Think carefully about your next move, if you do anything besides walk away as fast as you can, you should know it took all the Avengers stationed here including the Hulk to take me down and what are you compared to the weakest of them." Loki let him go with a dark glare that was enough to send the man scampering away. "I have to ask, who do you see near me? Victims or loved ones?"

"You sure you wanna know?" I asked.

"Positive."

"She's always there, she says she wished she could've been there to help you when you first came to this city. She knows it wasn't really you that did that and she tried to convince Odin of it before you were sentenced but had no proof, only faith. She told me to take your hand when you put yourself between me and Strange and that I should never doubt your intentions. Lady, that ain't fair, I just met him! She's beautiful though, sucks you're not actually related as then I could see where you got your beauty from."

"Frigga," he murmured and looked so sorrowful I actually thought he was about to cry but seemed to hold it together.

"She says she knows you didn't mean your last words to her before she died, you're her son still and were forgiven already. You will always be her son no matter where you come from or how far you've fallen." I went quiet, watching and listening to the goddess hovering beside Loki. "I'd let you speak to him yourself but I'm not sure I can sustain the spirit of a goddess. No, you're right, better I don't, that might make things weird between us later, there's the whole Oedipus thing too. She wants you to know she's proud of you, despite how far you've fallen you still found the right path to follow in the end." I looked back at Loki then. "She wanted you to know this before she moved on but wouldn't let me tell you till you asked, till you were ready to hear it." I frowned at this, glancing back at the slowly dissipating woman. "Typical mother move, that is. What if we never met, you'd stick to him forever. Takes helicopter parent to a whole new level."

"Noelle," Loki murmured, still solemn, breaking me from thought with the use of my full name. "She would've found a way, a Vanir has her ways."

I snorted and shrugged. "If you say so."

He took my hands in his and looked me in the eyes. "Thank you."

I gave him a lazy grin. "Just doing my job. Glad she's moved on though, what poor soul would wanna be attached to you for eternity."

The sadness in him turned to incredulous. "Just for that remark, I'm going to haunt you into madness should I pass before you do."

I cackled at this. "That's supposed to be a threat? Bitch, I'm a death mage, I can just exorcise your ass back to Valhalla where your mother can deal with you attempting to bother the person that carried out her last wishes."

"You bringing my mother into this just means you can't deal with me yourself," he retorted smugly.

"I shouldn't have to at that point, my job is to make sure you've moved on, you're Valhalla's problem after that. However should I pass first, I can haunt you to madness all I want and you can't do a damned thing about it because there aint much that can shake off an incorporeal necromancer."

"You're just full of surprises aren't you?"

"Baby, you have no idea."

#loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki romance #necromancy #necromancer #Avengers #nell the necromancer #loki x ofc #loki x original female character #loki x nell

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janiedean · 7 years ago

Note

Ironwing go on a date but shit happens and they end up having to fight baddies which really makes the date more perfect. Also maybe some of the defenders chip in to help? I was thinking maybe jess matt who are low key flirting because pls Matt was totally crushing on Jess (I was expecting to brotp them not ship them so hard wth Netflix now I ship everyone with everyone!! XD)

aaand there you go, I hope you enjoy it

It’s not, Colleen thinks, that she wishes she had her old, more or less uneventful life back, and not even because in her old, uneventful life she was working for the fucking Hand.

She wouldn’t want it back anyway, not when in this one she’s not working for anyone else, she’s fairly positive she found the love of her life, she has some goddamned stability and she’s happy, and if it means that her boyfriend goes out at night playing vigilante or that he’s the Immortal Iron Fist and that Claire is about the one person out of their circle who is not either superpowered or completely devoid of any sense of self-preservation, well, fine, no meal ever comes free.

That said, she would like some goddamned peace and quiet sometimes, especially when she’s out with Danny for their weekly date.

See, thing is, they talk about things, and they both are aware that the vigilante life fucks you up – they spoke enough with Matt’s friends after they all thought he was dead to know how that worked out for him – and since they didn’t want to go down that path, they have rules. Not many, but they try to enforce them. The two main ones are: Sunday is free unless there’s some kind of imminent danger going down, and once per week they go out for a movie or dinner out and patience if crime runs free for that night, or if Colleen has to say no to late classes at the dojo.

And she really would rather go through her date in peace instead of dealing with a goddamned syndicate of bank robbers, on their fucking anniversary.

Rewind: a week ago, Danny had shown up at breakfast looking kind of bashful and hiding something behind his back.

Colleen hadn’t had time to ask what it was before someone rang at her door.

She had gone to answer just to find herself in front of a delivery man from some very expensive shop near Rand Enterprises who had asked her if she was Ms. Wing, and would she be so kind to sign in order to receive a plant of orchids that almost reaches her waist.

She had, and brought the plant in, and turned towards Danny –

Who was handing her a small card.

“I figured it’d be useless if it was on the plant, right?” He had asked, and she had opened the envelope.

The card had read happy anniversary.

Oh.

Had it been one year already? Colleen had looked at him again, and –

He had handed her a small box. It was larger than a ring’s, which had made Colleen assume he wasn’t proposing, though a part of her had thought, if he did I wouldn’t have said no.

“I, uh,” he had blurted, “I might’ve thought about actually gifting you the building, but then I figured it’d have meant extra taxes and why would you want that, I guess, and when I told the accountant she said that buying people things like this might look tacky, I wouldn’t know, so I just –”

“Danny?” She had interrupted him. “First of all, it’d be tacky if it was anyone but you, I know you aren’t doing that to show off.”

(Colleen figured out ages ago that when it comes to Danny Rand money is an asset and he’ll buy you things just to make it extra clear he cares about you, and she might have talked the other Defenders out of dissuading him because she had seen his sad face after Jessica told him that she didn’t need a new glass panel for her office’s door after some thief broke it and Danny sent her someone who put a bulletproof one instead. Now they have learned to pretend if anything because Colleen was very convincing, she thinks, and thing is, Danny looked so happy when he told her that Jessica asked him if he could please hire someone to re-paint her walls, she’s really not regretting having just told them to let Danny spend the damned money on them if he so wants to.)

She had opened the box.

And then she had almost broken down in tears at seeing it was a grant for a community project sponsored by the city which gives her funding to offer free training to at least thirty kids for six months.

“And,” he had said, before she could reply anything, “I took the liberty of booking dinner in three days at that nice French restaurant we always pass in front of and we always say we should try out?”

She had blurted something like don’t you ever dare changing, and then they hadn’t talked for the rest of the morning.

So, she had kind of looked forward to the fancy dinner. She had put on her nicest dress, and he had put on one of those suits he hates but for once it didn’t look like he was wanting to shoot himself in the head as long as he was wearing it, and they had been drinking excellent wine as they went through the appetizers, and for once Colleen had been thinking that once in a while, maybe, fancy wasn’t so bad.

That is, until someone blew the door to the bank on the other side of the road and a few armed men had run into the restaurant screaming get down on the floor or we’re shooting you on sight.

Fuck.

“So much for the crime-less date night, huh?” Danny whispers, but she can hear in his voice that he’s itching to kick the table and do away with them.

“I guess it wouldn’t be our lives without fucking random criminals. Wait,” she says, and kicks off her heels. “Right. Whenever you want.”

He grins and before the first thug can forcefully tear a woman’s necklace from her, Danny stands up.

“Hey,” he says, “how about you come at us instead?”

Good thing, Colleen decides, that good French restaurants have sharp knives, in lack of better blades.

It’s almost ridiculously easy – it was just four of them, the majority are in the bank on the other side of the road, and they’ve either punched them into oblivion or disarmed them in a matter of minutes. Too bad that their van is still in the middle of the road and their friends still haven’t noticed that half of their plan hasn’t worked out.

“Well,” Colleen says, “we might as well do away with them, too.”

“Miss –” One of the waiters starts.

“Fine by me,” Danny grins.

“Keep my shoes for me, will you?” She asks the waiter. They really were too uncomfortable for anything other than walking.

They run across the road and put out of commission the guy in the van, but not before he tells him there’s fifteen of them inside.

Well, it’s still plenty doable, she decides as they run inside.

They disarm the ones just outside the vault room, and then –

“Shit,” Danny says, “of course they locked the door.”

It’s obvious he doesn’t want to summon his chi for something that venial. “I guess we’ll have to wait until they’re out,” Colleen says, and then –

“Wasn’t today your fucking anniversary?”

Only Danny could grin that wide hearing Jessica Jones congratulating them like that, Colleen thinks as she turns on her back and sees that both her and Murdock are behind them – right, they’ve been kind of partnering up since it turned out that he wasn’t so dead. Colleen doesn’t know if they’re just friends or if it’s something else, but far from her to pry.

“Yeah,” Danny replies cheerfully, “but we were celebrating across the road.”

“So much for pleading with me to take your turn because you had to take her out, huh?” Jessica is smirking, though.

“Never mind,” Matt says, “you can go back to the restaurant. We’ve got this.”

“Really?” Colleen asks.

Jessica shrugs. “Unless you really wanna stick around, I guess.”

“We’re here, we might as well,” Danny grins. Right, well, he wouldn’t give up a chance to do some teamwork now, would he?

“Fine. Get the hell out of my way,” Jessica says, and then she grabs the handle and brings the entire door with her.

Fine, that is useful, Colleen concedes, and then they barge inside.

It’s pitiful, really – they’ve dispatched all of the robbers in five minutes, in between the four of them. Matt ties them up and they all drag them outside and dump them in the van along with the four from the restaurant.

“Fine,” Jessica says, “I’m just gonna drive this to some police station and leave them there. Happy fucking anniversary.”

Colleen doesn’t know what’s more unsettling – that she seems to mean it, that Murdock’s making heart-shaped eyes at her or that Danny is taking it the way anyone with a regular, sane upbringing would take normal congratulations.

Then they’ve driven off along with van and criminals and she and Danny are standing in the middle of the road, she’s wearing no shoes, his suit is dirty and they burst out laughing the moment they look at each other.

“It was – it was appropriate, though,” Danny wheezes.

“Fine,” she agrees, “it was, but – I was kind of looking forward to the nice dinner for once.”

“And who says it’s busted?”

“Wait, what?”

Danny smirks and heads for the restaurant, asks the waiter if they called the police, the dumbfounded kid says that no, they didn’t because they were about to and then the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen showed up and they realized that maybe it was unnecessary.

“Hm,” Danny says, “how about you call them after me and my girlfriend are done? I’m footing the bill for the damages. Actually, I’m just paying everyone’s bill.”

At that, all of the other clients cheers loudly and agree with delaying calling the police, and that’s how they end up eating duck confit with a crack in the window next to them, dirty clothes, no shoes in her case and random people dropping by and congratulating them, too.

“You know,” Danny tells her, “maybe the whole crime fighting thing didn’t completely ruin it.”

“No,” Colleen agrees, her hand covering his, “I think it really didn’t.”

Okay, maybe it made it great, now that she can think about it rationally.

But next time they’re sticking to places no one in their right mind would think of robbing.

#ironwing #danny rand #colleen wing #matt murdock #jessica jones #defenders spoilers #my fic #ch: danny rand #ch: colleen wing #ch: matt murdock #ch: jessica jones #Anonymous #ask post

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bobbystompy · 6 years ago

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The Slim Shady 20

Eminem’s “The Slim Shady LP” came out, I’m told, 20 years ago. Though the album is, in many ways, dated, homophobic, problematic, sexist, and just as differently offensive now as it equally was originally, it’s still extremely excellent. Instead of going too think piece-y, I wanted to write about my favorite bars.

While Eminem’s career definitely hit higher highs with latter releases, this is my favorite album in his catalogue. He was just as angry, but it was channeled; not distorted by fame or worn down by addiction or jaded by lawsuits or persevering through death of loved ones. This was 26-year-old Marshall, getting his head above water in time to start machine gunning expletives at the world around him.

And please remember, in his words, “If I’m talking too fast, it just means you’re listening too slow.”

20.

I wanted an album so rugged, nobody could touch it Spent a million a track and went over my budget (Oh, shit) Now, how in the fuck am I supposed to get out of debt? I can't rap anymore, I just murdered the alphabet

Immediate thesis statement.

19.

If I had a magic wand I'd make the world suck my dick without a condom on while I'm on the john

Really dislike this lyric, but it’s unflinching grossness hits every time.

18.

I met a s*** and said, "What up? It's nice to meet ya I'd like to treat you to a Faygo and a slice of pizza”

This lyric does not exist going forward because any success carries you beyond it. Shades of “Exhibit C’s” masterful “When I was sleepin' on the train / Sleepin' on Meserole Ave out in the rain / Without even a single slice of pizza to my name” exactly 10 years later.

17.

This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph So I signed it, "Dear Dave, thanks for the support, asshole"

Doesn’t even rhyme; he hated his fans from the very beginning.

16.

‘Cause I'm the one they can relate to and look up to better Tonight, I think I'll write my biggest fan a "fuck you" letter

Gave you every, immediate chance to get away.

15.

I'm freestylin' every verse that I spit 'Cause I don't even remember the words to my shit

Nah -- you’re way too meticulous, Shady.

14.

I'm not a player, just a ill rhyme sayer That'll spray a aerosol can up at the ozone layer

I like when his evil imagery turns half-baked adolescent; might as well brag about melting ants with your magnifying glass.

13.

Tell her you need a place to stay You'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with Renee's razor blades

Some fun internals; plus the part right before taught me what “gaffle” meant.

12.

I just remembered that I'm absent-minded Wait, I mean I've lost my mind, I can't find it

I used to be a loudmouth, remember me? (“Uh-uh”) I'm the one who burned your house down (“Oh”) Well, I'm out now (“Shit”)

Two of my favorite circular lines.

11.

Some people only see that I'm white, ignorin' skill 'Cause I stand out like a green hat with a orange bill But I don't get pissed, y'all don't even see through the mist How the fuck can I be white? I don't even exist

Had to address the elephant in the room.

10.

You beef with me, I'ma even the score equally Take you on Jerry Springer and beat your ass legally

Man with a plan.

These are the results of a thousand electric volts, a neck with bolts Nurse, we're losin' him, check the pulse

Always a lab-created monster.

I want to make songs all the fellas dub And murder every rich rapper that I'm jealous of So just remember, when I bomb your set Yo, I only cuss to make your mom upset

Cracked the code for us.

Got b****** on my jock out in East Detroit 'Cause they think that I'm a motherfuckin' Beastie Boy So I told 'em I was Mike D They was like, "Gee, I don't know, he might be" I told 'em, "Meet me at Kid Rock's next concert I'll be standin' by the Loch Ness Monster"

This one checks many boxes: The D, local-yet-hilariously-dated celeb name check, misogyny, mythical creatures.

But they love it when you make your business public So fuck it, I've got herpes while we on the subject And if I told you I had AIDS, y'all would play it 'Cause you stupid mothafuckas think I'm playin' when I say it Well, I do take pills, don't do speed Don't do crack, don't do coke, I do smoke weed Don't do smack, I do do shrooms, do drink beer I just wanna make a few things clear My baby mama's not dead, she's still alive and bitching And I don't have herpes, my dick's just itchin' It's not syphilis, and as for being AIDS-infested I don't know yet, I'm too scared to get tested

One of the only times he breaks the fourth wall.

I hang with a bunch of hippies and wacky tobacco planters Who swallow lit roaches and light up like jack-o-lanterns Outsidaz, baby, and we suin' the courts 'Cause we dope as fuck and only get a ‘2′ in The Source

This was soon corrected.

That's what I did, be smart, don't be a r***** You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped Dee Barnes? “What you say?” What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember? “I'ma kill you, motherfucker” Uh-uh, temper, temper Mr. Dre, Mr. N.W.A, Mr. AK Comin' straight outta Compton, y'all better make way

Distilling Dre’s career -- warts and all -- into a flurry of knockout punches.

I'll listen to your demo tape and act like I don't like it Six months later, you'll hear your lyrics on my shit ("That's my shit"!) People don't buy shit no more, they just dub it That's why I'm still broke and had the number-one club hit

Everything we’ve ever learned about Eminem has taught us he’s a tortured obsessive... yet this stretch feels effortlessly perfect. Plus, it gives us a clairvoyant outlook on the perils of massive-success-without-actually-making-money in the YouTube/streaming era.

Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole When we heard a knock at the door, must've been Ron Gold Jumped behind the door, put the orgy on hold Killed them both, then smeared blood on the white Bronco (We did it)

So offensive it almost laps itself back into normalcy. The unflinching “We did it” at the end is psychotic, horrible, and confident.

Fuck rap, I'm givin' it up, y'all, I'm sorry (”But Eminem, this is your record release party!”)

Tried to get out the game on his debut; Jay Electronica would be proud.

Honorable mentions...

I lay awake and strap myself in the bed With a bulletproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (Bang) I'm steamin' mad (Grr) And by the way, when you see my dad (Yeah?) Tell him that I slit his throat in this dream I had

There’s something casual about his fantasy murder of his father that really made the end stretch of this hit home. This is the closing of his final verse in “My Name Is”; he was never playing.

Man, ain't you ever seen that one movie “Kids”? No, but I seen the porno with Sun Doobiest

Em’s devil to Dre’s angel.

My palms were sweaty, and I started to shake at first Somethin' told me, "Try to fake a stomach ache, it works" I screamed, "Ow, my appendix feel like they could burst Teacher, teacher, quick, I need a naked nurse" "What's the matter?" "I don't know, my leg, it hurts" "Leg? I thought you said it was your tummy" "Oh, I mean it is, but I also got a bum knee" "Mr. Mathers, the fun and games are over And just for that stunt, you're gonna get some extra homework" "But don't you wanna give me after school detention?" "Nah, that bully wants to beat your ass and I'ma let him"

Even the teacher wanted him to get his.

Tired of bein' stared at Tired of wearin' the same damn Nike Air hat

Never had to worry about that after this.

* * *

Death section:

- I tried suicide once and I'll try it again That's why I write songs where I die at the end

- The disaster with dreads, I'm bad enough to commit suicide And survive long enough to kill my soul after I'm dead

- The ill type, I stab myself with a steel spike While I blow my brain out just to see what it feels like 'Cause this is how I am in real life I don't want to just die a normal death, I wanna be killed twice

- And if you ever see a video for this shit I'll probably be dressed up like a mummy with my wrists slit

- (I'm Slim Shady) So come and kill me while my name's hot And shoot me 25 times in the same spot

* * *

I got a wardrobe with an orange robe I'm in the fourth row, signin' autographs at your show

Tries to be unique and boastful... falls apart and gets self-deprecating.

I take a breather and sigh, either I'm high or I'm nuts 'Cause if you ain't tiltin' this room, neither am I

I mean, someone was... right?

We drive around in million-dollar sports cars While little kids hide this tape from their parents like bad report cards

Eh.

If I had a million bucks, it wouldn't be enough Because I'd still be out robbin' armored trucks

Unquenched desire for chaos.

A lyricist without a clue, what year is this? Fuck a needle, here's a sword, body pierce with this

Always able to make a risky situation dicier.

Wait, what if there's an explanation for this shit? What, she tripped, fell, landed on his dick?

Solid one liner.

Drug sickness got me doin' some bugged twitches I'm withdrawin' from crack so bad, my blood itches

/eyes pop out

I don't speak, I float in the air, wrapped in a sheet I'm not a real person, I'm a ghost trapped in a beat

Super fun hip-hop imagery.

#eminem #the slim shady lp #1999 #music reviews #dr. dre #the eminem show #8 mile #detroit #beastie boys #loch ness monster #kid rock #music #rap #hip-hop #nostalgia #death #mummy #east detroit #nwa

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katekyohrscenarios · 8 years ago

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Sleep Over Event

1) “But you’re too young to come undone, So don’t let them try to deceive you.” (Beautiful Ones by Hurts)

2) “Because you have gone higher, Higher than life.” (Higher Than Life by John Newman)

3) “For getting my hopes up high, Making fall in love again, Damn your eyes.” (Damn Your Eyes by Alex Clare)

4) “Took me time To see through your eyes.” (Powerless by Rudimental ft. Becky Hill)

5) “Please forgive the things I do, Don’t turn your back when I need you.” (War Rages on by Alex Clare)

6) “You know we are made up of love and hate, But both of them are balanced on a razor blade.” (What Do I Know by Ed Sheeran)

7) “Is the violence in our nature, Just the image of our maker?” (The Violence by Rise Against)

8) “I’d rather be the one that starts the fire, Than to shut my mouth and be the one who gets burned.” (Won’t Stop Running by A Great Big World)

9) “We are the lions, we are the chosen, We gonna shine out the dark.” (Lions by Skip Marley)

10) “I got somethin’ make the devil gonna run, He been dancin’ till the break of dawn.” (Run Devil Run by Crowder)

11) “And these devils they keep on talkin’ to me, They screamin’ “open the bottle,” I wanna be at peace.” (Drug Dealer by Macklemore)

12) “There are moments when you fall to the ground, But you are stronger than you feel you are now.” (Be As You Are by Mike Posner)

13) “In the midst of all the madness, remember life’s beautiful.” (Life Goes On by Fergie)

14) “My my, I cant lie, I need a shot again, My sweet adrenaline.” (Adrenaline by Shinedown)

15) “Imma riot, Imma riot through your borders, Call me bulletproof.” (Freedom by Beyonce)

16) “And I’m steady though I’m starting to shake, And I don’t know how much more I can take.” (This is How a Heart Breaks by Rob Thomas)

17) “Run with my hands on my eyes, Blind, but I’m still alive.” (All the King’s Horses by Karima)

18) “Got no heart to break, like it that way, Nothing in the cage of my ribcage.” (Ribcage by Andy Black)

19) “I’m tellin’ you the world looks perfect from a plane, A couple miles up and we all look the same.” (Sincerely by Stephen)

20) “And I will not negotiate, I’ll fight it, I’ll fight it.” (Rise by Katy Perry)

#sleep over saturday #song lyrics part 2 #admin

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thegoldenyears-memories · 8 years ago

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❀ NOT A TRAGEDY ❀ // a mary macdonald mix

{ listen / download }

01. MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB de MONARCH BABY LULLABY INSTITUTE { instrumental. }

02. STAND IN THE RAIN de SUPERCHICK { she doesn't know why but she knows that when she's all alone, feels like its all coming down. she won't turn around, the shadows are long and she fears if she cries that first tear, the tears will not stop raining down. so stand in the rain, stand your ground. stand up when it's all crashing down. you stand through the pain, you won't drown, and one day what's lost can be found. you stand in the rain. she won't make a sound, alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down. she wants to be found, the only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down. }

03. A BAD DREAM de KEANE { i wake up, it's a bad dream, no one on my side. i was fighting but i just feel too tired to be fighting. guess i'm not the fighting kind. }

04. WORDS AS WEAPONGS de BIRDY { you use your words as a weapon, dear. but your blades don't hurt when you have no fear. you think that you're deep under my skin, you're trying to keep me suffering. if you use your words as a weapon, then as a weapon, i'll shed no tears. my window's cracked, they can be replaced. but your arm will tire throwing stones my way. }

05. BULLETPROOF de LA ROUX { been there, done that, messed around. i'm having fun, don't put me down. i'll never let you sweep me off my feet. i won't let you in again. the messages i've tried to send, my information's just not going in. i'm burning bridges shore to shore, i break away from something more. i'm not turned off to love until it's cheap. this time, baby, i'll be bulletproof. do, do, do your dirty words, come out to play when you are hurt. there are certain things that should be left unsaid. tick, tick, tick, tick on the watch, and life's too short for me to stop. oh, baby, your time is running out. i won't let you turn around and tell me now i'm much too proud, all you do is fill me up with doubt. }

06. TONIGHT YOU’RE PERFECT de NEW POLITICS { should i believe in the world, momma? should i give up and hide or should i stay and fight? should i believe in the rules, momma? tell me if i should run or learn to shoot a gun. i don't know what to believe, momma. yeah, i'm down on my knees, i'm begging please, help me back on my feet, momma, 'cause i need someone to believe in. you won't believe what i've seen, momma, there's a fire inside, there's a storm on the rise. it's in the air that we breathe, momma. can i speak out my mind in these changing times? give me a reason to be, momma. }

07. BURNING GOLD de CHRISTINA PERRI { looking for an exit in this world of fear, i can see the path that leads the way. mama never left and daddy needs me here. i wish the wind would carry a change. looking through the window to a world of dreams, i can see my future slip away. honey, you won't get there if you don't believe, i wish the wind would carry a change. i've had enough, i'm standing up. i need, i need a change. i've had enough of chasing luck. i need, i need a change. i'm setting fire to the life that i know, let's start a fire everywhere that we go. we're starting fires 'til our lives are burning gold. looking for my ticket to a higher place, i can see my chance begin to fade. one step forward and two back again, i wish the wind would carry a change. looking back i see i had the flame in me, i’m the wind that’s carrying change. }

08. PORCELAIN HEART de BARLOWGIRL { broken heart one more time, pick yourself up, why even cry? broken pieces in your hands, wonder how you'll make it whole. you know, you pray, this can't be the way. you cry, you say something's gotta change and mend this porcelain heart of mine. someone said "a broken heart would sting at first then make you stronger". you wonder why this pain remains, were hearts made whole just to break? }

09. BREATHE (2 A.M.) de ANNA NALICK { yeah, we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes like they have any right at all to criticize. hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason. 'cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable. and life's like an hourglass, glued to the table. no one can find the rewind button, girl. so cradle your head in your hands and breathe... just breathe. there's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out. and these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again if you'd only try turning around. and i feel like i'm naked in front of the crowd, 'cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud. and i know that you'll use them however you want to. }

10. MARY GO ROUND de SERENA RYDER { have you ever fallen, have you ever hit the ground? have you ever laid there, have you ever just stayed down? have you ever looked up and laughed at the big blue sky? have you ever wondered, have you ever wondered why you always hide? sing along, sun down. mary go round, too young to leave this town. someone's playing your song. feels good singing along, what could go wrong? what about midnight, what about you disappears? what about your stories, what about your fairy tales? what about the secrets you don't need to keep inside? }

11. SHAKE IT OFF (TAYLOR SWIFT COVER) de US THE DUO { i stay out too late, got nothing in my brain, that's what people say. i go on too many dates, but i can't make them stay, at least that's what people say. but i keep cruising, can't stop, won't stop moving. it's like i got this music in my mind saying, "it's gonna be alright." 'cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play, and the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. baby, i'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, i shake it off, i shake it off. heart-breakers gonna break, break, break, break, break and the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake. hey, hey, hey, just think while you've been getting down and out about the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats of the world, you could've been getting down to this sick beat. }

12. HELP I’M ALIVE de METRIC { i tremble, they're gonna eat me alive if i stumble, they're gonna eat me alive. can you hear my heart beating like a hammer? help, i'm alive , my heart keeps beating like a hammer . hard to be soft, tough to be tender. come take my pulse the pace is on a runaway train. }

13. BRAVE de SARA BAREILLES { you can be the outcast or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love or you can start speaking up. nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do when they settle 'neath your skin. kept on the inside and no sunlight, sometimes a shadow wins. but i wonder what would happen if you say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out. honestly, i wanna see you be brave with what you want to say, and let the words fall out. honestly, i wanna see you be brave. everybody's been there, everybody's been stared down by the enemy. fallen for the fear and done some disappearing. don't run, just stop holding your tongue. maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live, maybe one of these days you can let the light in. show me how big your brave is. and since your history of silence won't do you any good, did you think it would? let your words be anything but empty, why don't you tell them the truth? }

14. ONE DAY de KODALINE { one day it's here and then it's gone, how are you still holding on? you've felt this way for far too long, waiting for a change to come. and life passes you by, don't be wasting your time on your own. you always try to see yourself through the eyes of someone else. too shy to say that you need. as your heart gets bigger and you try to figure out what's it all about. and your skin gets thicker as you try to figure out what's it all about. }

15. POMPEII de BASTILLE { i was left to my own devices, many days fell away with nothing to show. and the walls kept tumbling down in the city that we love. great clouds roll over the hills, bringing darkness from above. but if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing changed at all? and if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like you've been here before? how am i gonna be an optimist about this? }

16. PUNCHING IN A DREAM de THE NAKED AND FAMOUS { i don't ever wanna be here, like punching in a dream breathing life into my nightmare. they'll get through, they'll get you, in the place that you feel it the most, when you're cornered, when it's forming in the place that you wish was a ghost. }

17. STOP CRYING YOUR HEART OUT de OASIS { hold up, hold on, don't be scared. you'll never change what's been and gone. may your smile, shine on, don't be scared, your destiny may keep you warm. 'cause all of the stars are fading away. just try not to worry, you'll see them some day. take what you need and be on your way, and stop crying your heart out. get up, come on, why're you scared? we're all of us stars, we're fading away. just try not to worry, you'll see us some day. }

18. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP de BEN HOWARD { and i tried my best to embrace the darkness in which i swim. oh lookin' out at this happiness, i search for between the sheets. oh feelin' blind and realice all i was searchin' for was me. keep your head up, keep your heart strong. 'cause i'll always remember you the same. oh, eyes like wild flowers within demons of change. may you find happiness there, may all your hopes all turn out right. }

19. SON de SLEEPING AT LAST { and i will try to breathe 'til it turns to muscle memory. i'm only steady on my knees, one day i'll stand on my own two feet. and i'll run the risk of being intimate with brokenness. through this magnifying glass i see a thousand finger prints on the surfaces of who i am. show me where to find a silver lining as the mercury keeps rising, 'til the glass on my fever breaks. show me how to struggle gracefully, let the scaffolding inside of me be strong enough to hold this tired body up once more. }

20. WARRIOR de DEMI LOVATO { i need to take back the light inside you stole. all the pain and the truth, i wear like a battle wound. so ashamed, so confused, i was broken and bruised. now i'm a warrior. now i've got thicker skin. i'm a warrior, i'm stronger than i've ever been. and my armor is made of steel, you can't get in. i'm a warrior and you can never hurt me again. out of the ashes, i'm burning like a fire. i've got shame, i've got scars that i will never show. i'm a survivor in more ways than you know. there's a part of me i can't get back, a little girl grew up too fast, all it took was once, i'll never be the same. now i'm taking back my life today, nothing left that you can say, 'cause you are never gonna take the blame anyway. }

21. RESCUE de YUNA { she found herself, yeah, she's got light in her face. she don't need no rescuing, she's okay. yeah, she's got life in her veins, she don't need no rescuing, she's okay. no s.o.s. needed, no rescuing, she's fine out there. things were bad, it was beyond repair. she was scare, she couldn't handle it. things were bad, but now she's glad. can't you tell that she's walking on air? }

22. WEAR IT LIKE A CROWN de REBEKKA KARIJORD { i don't know where this fear comes from, how i became so afraid of losing everyone. never been afraid of being lonely, now i'm becoming the one i'm most scared of being. i don't know where this fear comes from, this fear of failing fear of letting everyone, and myself, down. it's growing deep into my soul, making me all paralyzed and cold. it's two steps forward, three steps back again. i'll turn my face against it, i won't run. 'cause courage and belief are my redeems. no one else can rescue me, it seems. 'cause if i don't follow my heart this time, i'm gonna forget what this life is all about. i'm gonna take that path, i'm going in on my own. i'm gonna take that fear and wear it like a crown. }

23. COME AWAY TO THE WATER de MAROON 5 FT. ROZZI CRANE { come away, little light, come away to the darkness, in the shade of the night we’ll come looking for you. come away little lamb, come away to the slaughter, to the ones appointed to see this through. we are calling for you, we are coming for you. }

24. JONI WAS RIGHT de MARIT LARSEN { i thought gardens were amusement parks, spider webs were works of art, and war was just another game we played. time just sent me off to bed, love was just a word we said, i thought someone would always keep me safe and that i might become an astronaut some day. growing up is falling down and landing safely on the ground, waking up in the dead of night thinking oh my god, joni was right. between the downfalls and the deepest pains, lessons learned the hardest ways, i hope that there was something left so save. so i went back to try and find the innocence i left behind and realized my paradise was paved. the cost of being wild and free, the endless possibility, the open road in front of me, it’s harder than i thought it’d be. }

25. FIRE AND RAIN de BIRDY { just yesterday morning, they let me know that you were gone. suzanne, the plans they made put an end to you. been walking my mind to an easy time, my back turned towards the sun. lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around. well, there's hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things to come. sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground. oh, i've seen fire and i've seen rain. i've seen sunny days that i thought would never end. i've seen lonely times when i could not find a friend. but i always thought that i'd see you again. }

26. MERCY de MUSE { help me, i've fallen on the inside, i tried to change the game, i tried to infiltrate, but now i'm losing. men in cloaks always seem to run the show, save me from the ghosts and shadows before they eat my soul. mercy, mercy, show me mercy from the powers that be. show me mercy, can someone rescue me? and tell me why the men in cloaks always have to bring me down, running from the ghosts and shadows the world just disavows. help me, i've fallen on the inside, and all the men in cloaks trying to devour my soul. }

27. BAD DREAM de RUELLE { feels like i'm falling into a world i can't control. i hear it calling down in my soul. gripping my bones, it won't let go. wake me up, won't you wake me up? caught in a bad dream. wake me up, i wanna feel the sun. feels like i'm frozen. nowhere to run from here, these walls are closing me in, wearing me thin with fear. }

28. DOWN de JASON WALKER { waiting here in line, hoping that i'll find what i've been chasing. i shot for the sky, i'm stuck on the ground, so why do i try? i know i'm gonna fall down. i thought i could fly, so why did i drown? never know why it's coming down. }

29. OUTDOOR de ROBERTO CACCIAPAGLIA { instrumental. }

30. READ ALL ABOUT IT, PT. III de EMELI SANDÉ { you've got the words to change a nation, but you're biting your tongue. you've spent a life time stuck in silence, afraid you'll say something wrong. if no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song? so come on, come on. you've got a heart as loud as lions, so why let your voice be tamed? maybe we're a little different, there's no need to be ashamed. you've got the light to fight the shadows, so stop hiding it away. come on, come on. i wanna sing, i wanna shout, i wanna scream 'til the words dry out. so put it in all of the papers, i'm not afraid, they can read all about it, at night we're waking up the neighbours while we sing away the blues, making sure that we're remembered, yeah, 'cause we all matter too. if the truth has been forbidden, then we're breaking all the rules. let's get the tv and the radio to play our tune again. it's 'bout time we got some airplay of our version of events. yeah, we're all wonderful people. so when did we all get so fearful? now we're finally finding our voices, so take a chance, come help me sing this. }

31. BOOKENDS de SIMON & GARFUNKEL { time it was, and what a time it was, a time of innocence, a time of confidences. long ago it must be , i have a photograph preserve your memories, they're all that's left you. }

32. FIGHT SONG de RACHEL PLATTEN { i might only have one match but i can make an explosion. and all those things i didn't say, wrecking balls inside my brain. i will scream them loud tonight, can you hear my voice this time? this is my fight song, take back my life song, prove i'm alright song. my power's turned on, starting right now i'll be strong, i'll play my fight song. and i don't really care if nobody else believes, 'cause i've still got a lot of fight left in me. }

33. I’M NOT YOUR HERO de TEGAN AND SARA { standing where i am now, standing up at all. i was used to feeling like i was never gonna see myself at the finish line. hanging on to parts of me, hanging on at all, i was used to seeing no future in my sight line. i'm not their hero, but that doesn't mean that i wasn't brave. i never walked the party line, doesn't mean that i was never afraid. i'm not your hero, but that doesn't mean we're not one and the same. feeling like i am now lighting up the hall, i was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart. learning all i know now, losing all i did, i never used to feel like i'd be standing so far ahead. sometimes it feels like the side that i'm on plays the toughest hand, holds the longest stand. sometimes it feels like i'm all that they've got, it's so hard to know i'm not what they want. i do my best to walk the finest line 'til i've had all that i can take. }

34. KEEP BREATHING de INGRID MICHAELSON { i want to change the world, instead i sleep. but all that i know is i'm breathing, all i can do is keep breathing, all we can do is keep breathing now. }

35. IN THE END de VANESSA CARLTON { and you'll carry on, 'cause in the end, it's the way of all things, it will be beautiful. }

36. REVIVAL de SELENA GOMEZ { i feel like i've awakened lately. the chains around me are finally breaking. i've been under self-restoration, i'm becoming my own salvation. showing up, no more hiding. the light inside me is bursting, shining. it's my time to butterfly. what i've learned is so vital, more than just survival this is my revival. i'll walk through the fire, i'll begin again. reaching for the truth, not afraid to lose. what shattered through me like a rifle was a revival. i admit, it's been painful. but i'll be honest, i'm grateful. }

B O N U S :

EMPTY CHAIRS AND EMPTY TABLES de RACHEL ELLIS { there's a grief that can't be spoken. there's a pain goes on and on. empty chairs at empty tables, now my friends are dead and gone. here they talked of revolution. here it was they lit the flame. here they sang about tomorrow and tomorrow never came. from the table in the corner, they could see a world reborn. and they rose with voices ringing and i can hear them now! the very words that they had sung became their last communion on this lonely barricade at dawn. oh my friends, my friends forgive me that i live and you are gone. phantom faces at the windows, phantom shadows on the floor. empty chairs at empty tables where my friends will meet no more. oh my friends, my friends, don't ask me what your sacrifice was for. empty chairs at empty tables, where my friends will sing no more. }

¡¡ FELIZ NAVIDAD Y AÑO NUEVO, SARA !!

DE: andy

PARA: sara

Querida Sara:

*Inserte gif de Yoda*. Oye, hola. Me tocó darte y exageré, como siempre, en el tamaño del regalo. Pero es que Mary es un personaje muy querido para mí y en verdad me inspiré con ella. La amo muuucho y me alegra que la lleves. Y amo su nuevo FC. Anyway, espero te guste tu regalo. Quería ir desde los miedos de Mary hasta su estancia en la guerra y sus ganas de superarse. El bonus track me duele en el alma, but debía estar ahí.

¿Qué puedo decirte? Soy super mala en esto. Me caes muy bien, eres un cinnamon roll tbh. Siempre has sido muy linda y tranquila y graciosa. Me costaría no reírme con las cosas que dices, porque aunque no hablemos mucho, lo poco que conversamos siempre está lleno de bromas (y tus tags también me dan risa). Eres bien cool y quiero tomar esta oportunidad para decir que amo a Zoe. Es perfecta y la amo y me da mucha risa cómo es. Also, estoy lista para el drama entre ella y Danny. Gracias por darme drama. Mmm, ¿qué más? Uhhh... Pues no sé qué más decir. Sólo que eres una chica cool y sabes que se te quiere aunque no seamos cercanas. Te deseo lo mejor en este año y ojalá tu Navidad haya sido muy bella. Que todos tus sueños se cumplan y estés llena de amor y paz. ¡Feliz Navidad y año nuevo atrasados! *Inserte abrazo*

#mary #santa secreto 2016

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