#Steve is an old character so I might give him a revival

[heavily-traumatized-kyle]

-Steve sighs-

What has gotten into them...-He looks at the noose (OH NO STEVE NO-) and walks over to it (NO STEVE NO) Is it really worth it...?

yea i guess it is...(NOO)

-he puts his head on the noose-

I'm sorry,brother...

-he gets up the chair-

im sorry father..

-before kicking it away-

I'm sorry,mother.

steve no more,only stevie and steven

:(

No more steve :(

(OLD LORE NEW ONE IS WITH THE TAG ROSELORE)

[mrs-elsie-barnes]

Give Me Shelter, For My Heart | Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Omega!Reader | One Shot? 3k

Things are missing around the Avengers' compound and a newly returned Bucky is acting weirder than normal...Steve and Sam go to investigate and discover more than they bargained for.

Warnings: 18+ for language and suggestion of Hydra violence/torture/experimentation, omegaverse themes including alpha & omega, suggestion of pregnancy/pups, wolf shifting Rated F for Fluff and G for good friends

Challenges & Prompts: @buckybarnesevents Alpha Bucky April with extra prompts - word count, nesting, purring, beta characters, (I'll let mods decide if this hits the breeding/baby fever prompt). And @fandom-free-bingo 'forehead kisses'

Graphic by me and Canva, dividers by @firefly-graphics & @reveriesources

Masterlist | Bucky Barnes

“Hmm,” Steve looked around the supply room, surveying the gaps and empty shelves, normally well stocked with blankets and provisions. It was the third time this week he’d found himself at a loss, not just for words but his things too. Everything seemed to be going missing. 

First it was a few plates and mugs from the galley kitchen by his office, then it’d been the lunch he’d left for him and Bucky in the fridge. Last night he’d gone into Bucky’s room to make sure he was okay and found the man sleeping on a bare mattress, all the sheets, pillows and blankets were gone and the newly revived Bucky refused to explain what had happened to them or even acknowledge that there was anything wrong at all. He hadn’t even addressed that fact that the window was wide open and it looked as if he was sleeping in his shoes. 

Which brought Steve’s thoughts to the man himself. Bucky had been so odd since he’d returned. For a day or two, he’d been something like his old self, despite the awful situation they found themselves in, he’d joked with Steve and reminisced with the few memories he had. They’d enjoyed a beer together and he’d even met with Tony during their mediation and patched things up. 

Then, they’d all climbed onto the jet and he’d become distant, pacing like a caged animal until they’d landed. As soon as the doors were open he’d vanished for forty-eight hours and sent the entire compound into mayhem before strolling back in as if nothing had happened, bruised and covered in blood. Judging by the bandages he sported later that day, his cuts and bruises spread under his shirt and trousers too. 

Steve knew that he’d changed during his time with Hyrda, back in the 30s they’d both been betas, happy to plod along ignoring the madness of the few alpha’s in Brooklyn. It had been a rare thing then, to be an alpha, now they were considered a dying breed, so when Bruce’s tests had revealed that Bucky was an alpha now, they’d tried to take it in their stride that he might go off on his own sometimes, especially since omegas were even rarer. But there was still so much they didn’t know, so much to unpack and discover about the Bucky they’d rescued, and Steve was so desperate to spend time getting to know this new man that all the time apart was making him worry. 

“You okay?” Sam asked from the doorway, leaning in to hand Steve a hot cup of coffee. 

“Just doing a stock check.” 

“He take something else?” Sam stepped into the small room, lined with shelves and shelves of tents, camping stoves, parachutes, it seemed to go on and on. The bare grey shelves where stock was missing was stark against the white washed walls. 

“He?” 

“Barnes,” Sam sipped his coffee, matter of fact, and Steve confronted the worry that had been plaguing him. 

“It’s Bucky, isn’t it?” Steve dropped his head heavily and Sam patted him on the back, still sipping his drink. 

“Sorry man, told you, he’s not right yet. He’s not hurting anyone though, if he hates his bedding, who cares, if he hates your lunches, who could blame him.” 

Sam sidestepped Steve’s halfhearted swipe with a grin on his face. 

“But what’s he doing with it, Sam? Where’s it all going?” 

“Hell, I don’t know, have you asked him?” Sam raised his eyebrows. 

Had Steve asked his best friend, who flinched at his touch and shied away from any conversations? Bucky who vanished for hours at a time and came back looking as if he’d been dragged through a hedge? No, he hadn’t. He’d been too scared to confront what might be going on, what latent part of his programming might be at play. 

“Look, if you’re too scared to ask why don’t I?” 

Now it was Steve’s turn to raise his eyebrow, it wasn’t that Sam and Bucky didn’t get along, they just didn’t get along yet. Steve was working on it. 

“What if we…followed him?” He offered instead and Sam laughed again. 

“Who knew Captain America was scared of his own friends,” he couldn’t contain the chuckles. “Fine, fine. Let’s keep an eye on him.” Sam turned to the ceiling, more comfortable with the AI than Steve was. “FRIDAY, if Sergeant Barnes leaves his room, please can you alert us - privately?” 

“Of course,” the soft voice answered and Steve gave his friend a weak smile. 

FRIDAY’S alert went off twice a day, every day, over the next week. But despite their best efforts neither Steve nor Sam managed to catch up with Bucky. 

It wasn’t until the following Saturday that they managed to follow him. Bucky was supposed to be at a training session to get his official certifications but they’d both had a feeling he’d try and skip it. As predicted they’d spotted the blue of his new henley edging around the side of the compound, a full backpack strapped to his back. 

Bucky ran across the grass and towards the thick forest. His still uncut hair was tied back but tendrils fell out as he sprinted into the wind. 

He was surprisingly loud, as he strode quickly between the trees, snapping twigs and branches that Steve knew he could’ve dodge even before the serum and his training. Sam looked at him, both of their feet silent as they followed. 

Bucky’s speed increased as he turned his face up into the breeze, his backpack jostled against the trees, bouncing when he began to run. 

Steve kept up, sending Sam wide, into the breeze, in case Bucky doubled back. 

Just as he was starting to feel lost in the repetition of trees and ferns, Bucky burst into a clearing and Steve slammed to a halt. 

The pine trees gave way to a small patch of clear sky, shining down on an old shed. Unlike the other abandoned guard houses, this one had obviously been cleaned recently. The small porch was swept and a pair of Avengers camping chairs were arranged neatly facing into the forest. A line had been strung between the cabin and the trees where one of the missing blankets fluttered in the gentle wind. 

Steve crouched down, motioning to Sam on the other side of the clearing to stay out of sight. 

Bucky approached slowly, “Cățeluș, are you here?” 

At first there was nothing and then a wolf nosed its way out from behind the door, it’s chestnut brown fur almost gold in the sunlight. It leaped forwards from the porch and shot across the clearing, leaping into Bucky’s arms. 

Steve whipped his head up to try and find Sam and by the time his eyes found Bucky again the wolf was gone, replaced by a woman pulling on a large t-shirt from Bucky’s backpack. 

“James!” Her sweet voice rang out in the otherwise quiet forest. 

Swamped by Bucky’s familiar red henley, you shot from the door and into Bucky's waiting arms, the back pack dropped to the floor and forgotten. 

She was swamped by Bucky’s red henley and he wrapped you in his arms, one large hand on the back of your head, tucking you into his neck. The other supported your legs, now wrapped around his waist. 

In the clearing Bucky's shoulders relaxed as he sank into your embrace, kissing and nipping at your neck. In return you tipped your head, practically purring at the attention and wriggling in his arms. 

“Have you been okay, baby.” Bucky asked, pulling away enough to look you over. 

“I'm okay, I missed you though, James, please don't leave me again.” You begged cupping his stubbled cheeks in your hands. 

Bucky turned into your palm and kissed it, “I know, I know, I’ve been making sure it’s safe for you.” 

Steve's heart sank. Bucky didn't feel safe? 

“You trust me, don't you, my little omega.” Bucky rubbed his nose into your cheek and you giggled, holding him even tighter, your hands in his hair. 

An omega? 

Sam stared over at Steve, eyes wide. 

It was clear to them both that this was no chance encounter and all Bucky’s odd behaviour suddenly started to make more sense.

Steve motioned for Sam to leave, they could sneak back to the compound and perhaps bring this up tentatively. Perhaps leave some items you might like lying around in the hopes that Bucky would take them and understand that his secret was out, but it was safe. 

Sam moved swiftly round the clearing as Steve continued to watch Bucky. 

Bucky vanished into the cabin, leaving you on the porch alone, snuggled into his shirt and pressing the collar to your nose. 

“She’s cute,” Sam whispered, squeezing up against Steve, still hiding in the overgrown ferns that lined the edge of the cabin. 

“We can’t let her sleep out here. She must be hungry and cold.”

Bucky emerged from the cabin carrying two of the missing mugs, balancing them carefully on the railing before scooping you up into his lap. His hand hovered by his mouth, sipping in slow motion as his eyes scanned the tree line and Steve took a breath, sitting back quickly. 

“Stay here, Cățeluș,” he was up in a flash, eyes always on the tree line even when he reached into his boot to pull out a familiar gerber knife. 

Instead of flipping it into his palm, he balanced it on the arm of your camping chair. Eyes still on the trees he placed his metal hand on top of your head, “stay here and stay safe, follow the plan, do what you need to.” His voice was low, series, almost a growl. Far away from the happy, loving tones he’d been speaking to you with before. 

You nodded, and as soon as he felt your head move he was up and off the porch. 

Steve and Sam looked up in time to see a wolf leap towards them. 

It was true then, the experiments had worked and Steve had the cold feeling that returned every time he discovered something new about his friend during a fight, but he had no time to worry about it now. Not when the wolf was closing in on them. 

It was huge, its white fur dusted with fallen leaves, but its teeth gleamed in the afternoon sun as he pounced, snarling. His paws the size of dinner plates slamming into the ground in front of them, teeth bared and snarling. 

Steve rolled away, pulling Sam with him and covering his body, regretting not bringing the shield. 

“Bucky!” Sam shouted from under Steve’s arm

“Bucky it’s us we don’t want to hurt you!” 

The wolf pulled back from the two men pinned beneath him, and something like clarity passed over Bucky’s icey blue eyes and he sat on his haunches, head cocked to one side, ears floppy. Then it stood, rounding the bushes and, in a blink, the man had reappeared still hiding before the foliage to cover his naked body. 

“Steve -” Bucky looked thoroughly confused, 

“Bucky, we’re so sorry we shouldn’t have followed you.” 

“What are you doing here?” Bucky’s voice wavered, his body cold without his fur and with his clothes left behind in the cabin. 

“We were worried about you, man, you’ve been so weird - stealing stuff, going missin’, can you blame us for getting creeped out?” Sam raised his eyebrows and Bucky’s brow furrowed. 

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I just had to -” he gestured back towards the cabin and, as if remembering he’d left you behind with no way of knowing he was safe he turned and ran back to the clearing. 

Steve and Sam jumped up, chasing after Bucky once more. 

The cabin porch was empty when Steve picked his way down the slope of mud and rocks into the clearing. 

A howl rang out as he got closer to the little house, a high, pained sound and then the response came, low and level. 

There were two wolves now, hidden at the side of the cabin in the shadows.

The white wolf kept itself half turned towards Steve and Sam, who kept quiet and still, barely daring to breathe, allowing its companion to approach slowly. 

The brown wolf dropped in front of the white, ears flat back against its head, and then rolled over, showing a soft belly that the white wolf nuzzled gently before turning back to Steve and barking sharply. 

Steve held his hands up and the wolf barked again, turning tail and returning to the cabin. 

It took only moments for Bucky to show himself on the porch, pulling his henley back down over his now dirt streaked belly. 

“Come in,” he gestured up the stairs and vanished again. 

The cabin, though run down, was well kept. The porch was swept of leaves and there was even a little mat by the door. 

“Shoes,” you whispered, pulling on Bucky’s sleeve as you entered the main living space, making an attempt to hide behind him. You’d dressed again too, also in one of Bucky’s henleys and a pair of leggings that Steve recognised as Avengers recruit issue. 

“Do you mind?” Bucky asked while Steve and Sam stared between you both. 

“Shoes,” you turned to look up at Bucky again, eyes pleading in one moment and then flicking to the two new men treading mud into your home. 

“Your shoes, take them off.” Bucky helped them arrange their boots neatly by the door while you pottered around the fireplace. “This is her nest,” he whispered, making sure the doormat was straight and the little curtain was neat over the window. “It’s important to omegas, to her,” you turned shooting a glare over your shoulder, “to us-that it’s kept just right and she hates shoes inside.”

In the small living space a camping stove had been set up with a kettle, a portable fridge, and an assortment of mugs, both Avengers field regulation and novelty, which were set neatly on the mantel. You chose four, and placed them next to the kettle while it steamed happily away. 

Bucky spoke softly to you in a mixture of English and Romanian, but you didn’t come any closer to the strange men. You’d seen them before, on the television and in Bucky’s notebooks, but now that they were here, so large and imposing, you couldn’t bring yourself to even look over. 

“This is Cățeluș, well, that’s not her real name but we couldn’t find that. She - uh -” you watched Bucky struggle for words and lay a hand on his cheek, smiling warmly up at him. Your Winter, your James. “-I don’t want to say the word, it upsets her, but she was with me when I was - him - part of the experiments.” 

You poured the tea quietly, watching the steam rise into the darts of sun making their way through the broken knots of wood in the wall, and you took a deep breath. With shaking hands you gave the first man, Sam, a cup. He had a gentle face, a wide smile and he didn’t look at you with pity, as you feared, only interest. 

The second man held his breath as you approached, keeping his hands as close to his body as possible until you pushed the cup towards him. Steve. Bucky had lots of pictures of Steve in his notebooks and had told you more stories than you could remember, but he didn’t look sickly, he looked too big for the space, his shoulders drawn in, slouched. You appreciated that he was trying not to look scary, even though your every nerve was on edge.  

Bucky took the proffered mug from your hands with a kiss to your forehead and you sighed, allowing him to steer you to the only arm chair in the room and then passing you your own tea. 

“We got out, eventually and - I brought her here.” Bucky sat on the rolled arm of the chair, draping his own arm over your shoulders and fitting you into his side. 

Steve and Sam could only stare. 

“Why didn’t you bring her to the compound? She can stay -” Steve turned to you, “you can stay, either in Bucky’s room or you can have your own room if you’d prefer.” 

It took you a moment to process the offer, but eventually you shook your head, turning into Bucky’s side. 

“It was awful - in there, with them she, we both -” Bucky struggled for the words, the desire to protect you rising inside 

“It’s okay,” Sam said carefully, “I know the transition’s been rough on you, Bucky, I can’t imagine what it’s been like for her, how you even got her out here. But there’s nothing to be afraid of, maybe she’ll come with you? If you suggest it?” 

Sam kept looking at you, his eyes soft and encouraging but you turned away, pressed your face into Bucky’s ribs where his scent had soaked through his shirt, reassuring and primal, chanting in your head Alpha, safe, Alpha, safe. You did miss him, when he was gone, but how could he keep you safe in that place. 

You’d seen it, once or twice, through the trees when you took a walk, looking for whatever you could find in the forest. Guards left lots of things behind, bottles and coats and jackets, useful things. You collected them all, skirting around the edge of that horrid white building and hoping to never see the terrifying things that flew out of it, men in suits and robots, it was too much. 

“You can bring whatever you like with you, and maybe Nat and Wanda could help you with some new things, if you liked?” Steve followed Sam’s lead, keeping his voice steady and low. 

“James - my nest.” You mumbled, gripping his henley in your fist. 

He dropped a hand onto your head, “we can do whatever you like, baby. You want to stay here, we can stay, you want to go to the compound, we’ll go.” 

You felt Bucky’s heart rate pick up, its beat hammering and your anxiety grew too, your breathing more ragged, you turned even further into him, practically climbing into his lap, the henley you’d taken from him riding up. 

Instantly you knew it was a mistake, the scars of your time in Hydra were still visible, raised on your skin, yellowing patches of healing bruises and calloused skin from repeated bouts in the chair. 

Sam and Steve could barely conceal their inhale of breath. 

“Bucky, did you get her checked by a doctor or…” Sam trailed off, Bucky looked angry again, his arms fully surrounding you. 

“And what would I have said, Sam?” He growled, “I know she looks like she’s been kept in a cage and beaten but please don’t arrest me, I promise it wasn’t me? Her social security number? Sorry, I don’t have it, we don’t even know her name. I did the best I could.” His anger tipped over into a resigned sadness. Bucky cupped your face in one hand and forced you to look up at him, “I did the best I could, baby, I really did.” 

You nodded and his grip loosened so you could nuzzle into his chest again, your own tears running down your cheeks at the memory of those early days. Bucky’s shaking hands patching up your burns and cuts, the whisky you’d slugged before he pulled out a stray bullet from your arm and stitched it with floss. Every touch had been gentle though, every time he’d changed your bandages or cleaned you up, it had been gentle. It had been everything he could give you. 

“We didn’t mean it like that, Buck,but we could help, get her checked over and then you can come back here.” Sam’s voice was plaintive, deliberately soothing and it made Bucky’s blood boil. 

“I’m not taking her to that place.” He bit back, there was no mistaking the way he curled you into his body, tucking your head under his chin and wrapping his arms around your back. 

It didn’t hurt anymore, to be touched, but then it’d never hurt to be touched by James. His hands had always been careful with you, his strength used only for protection and it was for that reason that you lay your trust in him completely. 

“Don’t make me go, Alpha.” You whispered, your lips brushing the base of his neck where you’d marked him, right over his scent gland, your teeth marks an eternal brand. You nuzzled into him, your chest rumbling again. 

“I won’t make you go,” he looked back at Steve and Sam, the finality of his decision sat heavily in the air. 

“Can we at least bring some medical things here? Would you let Sam check you out?” Steve offered, he was increasingly concerned by the way Bucky had retreated into the chair, his own legs now curled up on the overstuffed cushion.

Above you, James nodded once, “just you and Sam, don’t tell anyone else. I’ll know if you tell anyone else.” The panic edging Bucky’s voice had Steve raising his hands in surrender. 

“I promise, Buck, just Sam and I.”

Sam and Steve left the cabin at dusk while you and Bucky watched from the deck. As soon as they were beyond the trees he pulled you even tighter against his chest, his heat warm. 

“Everything is going to be okay, baby, I promise, no one’s going to ever, ever, hurt you again.” His hands slid down your arms and across the slow swell of your belly. “But we should consider their offer, make sure we’re making a choice that’s good for you and me, as well as them.” His palm pushed up under your shirt, splayed on your tight skin and, deep inside, your pup pushed back. 

[missingexaltation]

Eddie has now 'gifted' Hellfire to Will as he's not returning to high school, graduating on a technicality. However, he suggests to the new DM that they play a one off over the summer (to get Will used to the group's dynamics, and so he can say goodbye to his little sheepies in style).

But he gets to play with them too, at Will's insistence, as Eddie's DM'd for so long he never really gets a chance to be a PC. Eddie's character is a bard that the group meet, playing in a tavern and magically enslaved by the innkeeper. Because of the spell, he has no memory of who he is, except that he's a bard.

(Which works meta wise too, as Eddie might have knowledge on the DM side...but he's a bit shaky as an actual player. it's been a while after all)

The Party take pity on him, breaking his bondage by brutally killing the innkeeper and bringing him along. He's lower than everyone else in most stats, except for charisma, which he's insanely high for. And since as they're off to find a hidden God to convince him to come back to his people...that high charisma would come in handy.

At the end of the one shot, it seems like the God they face, concentrates damage on the person physically closest to him, which is Eddie's character. Eddie gets brutally taken down until the team drag him away, and revive him. (Eddie makes some snarky comments about the new DM staking his claim by annihilating the old DM and the party finds it hilarious)

But the God keeps aiming for the bard, until Eddie is at zero, then he goes after Dustin...the mage...who is technically the most powerful on the team and nowhere near the God in comparison to the others. Then when Dustin goes down, it's their paladin next...and the group start to freak out.

Eddie passes his death save roll, heals himself and is almost immediately taken down again. The party realise pretty quickly that it's not proximity that is the issue, and that the God is taking out the most powerful first. But Eddie's bard is one of the weaker characters, so that doesn't make ANY sense.

It's Gareth that makes the connection, a split second before Jeff does. He sits back in his chair, stares thoughtfully at Eddie and uses his own turn to grapple the God's weapon from his hands.

It's surprisingly easy, and The God immediately shrinks into a gnarled, grizzly looking goblin, who screeches until Mike cuts his head off with a nat 20 he hadn't been able to roll all night.

It was the weapon. The weapon that contained a God's power.

Gareth and Jeff are still looking at Eddie.

"No memory, huh?" Gareth asks.

Eddie shrugs. "Nothing at all."

"Just pick up the fucking sword, dude." Jeff sighs, and Eddie does.

The instant his character's hands touch the sword, it changes into a golden, glowing lute, the power flows into him, and their bard ascends back into godhood, agreeing to go back to his people.

The whole table descends into chaos, while Eddie and Will high five each other. Of course they were in on it together.

"Fucking DM's" Gareth complains, but he's not angry, not really.

"Ah, ah, ah, G Bear, no swearing in front of the kiddies." Eddie reminds him, gleefully.

The 'kids' didn't even hear him, too busy crowding around Will to congratulate him on his grand return. He'd written the entire thing, and collaborated with Eddie just to make sure it was a good fit for the Hellfire gang.

"Well, I saw it coming hours ago." Steve says, from his spot on the sofa, surprising the older teens. "You don't give up control easily, Eds."

"Ugh...way too much info, Harrington." Jeff groans, wrinkling his nose, and laughing with Gareth at the violent flush to Steve's cheeks.

"Aww you did kinda walk into that one with open arms, baby boy." Eddie coos, swooping down to press kisses against Steve's embarrassed cheek.

He scoops Steve into an embrace, ignoring his grumbles, and looks up at his bandmates, "So what do you think, did baby Byers pass the little test that you thought I didn't know about?"

"Hell yeah." They both agree, enthusiastic and immediate.

"This year's gonna be awesome, Eddie." Gareth adds, grinning.

They all look over to where the younger kids are, still crowding together and excitedly discussing the last few hours. Will is glowing with pride and happiness. It's a good look on him. Jeff and Gareth slap Eddie on the back and wander off to join them.

Eddie sighs, curling into Steve as much as he can. He knows he's clingy, but he needs this right now. It's bittersweet. While he's not in school anymore, he has a part time job and an apprenticeship that's going to take up far more time than he'd realised. And he's lost all of his D&D shit too. It all makes sense to hand over permanently, but it still hurts.

"You ok babe?" Steve asks. He's so nice and lovely and sweet that Eddie melts on the inside at the concern in his voice.

"It's like my kids are leaving home." He admits. "Even though technically I guess I'm the one doing the leaving."

"Growing up sucks." Steve agrees. He rubs his fingers down Eddie's arm, reassuringly. "Don't worry babe, they're not gonna forget you."

"Better fucking not." Eddie grumbled, pressing his face into Steve's neck.

He looked over. The kids had already forgotten that they were both there, too busy packing up and trying in vain to get details from Will about the next campaign.

It was a good thing though, Eddie tried convincing himself. They were all so enthusiastic and in good spirits, they didn't need him for that. It's why he'd started Hellfire in the first place, to inspire this kind of camaraderie for the outcasts. Something that would outlast him (even if the rest of the town had their own legacy instead).

"It's not forever, Eds." Steve reminded him. "Once we've got our place we'll host every week if you want."

It wasn't soon enough to soothe him.

But they were ok, and happy, and alive.

So it would have to be enough...for now.

[elcorhamletlive]

@l0v3c0r3e

"Okay, I definitely see your point! But how do you think the painting will be addressed? Or do you just think it will be skipped over? I personally think it would make more since for it to be discussed because it seems to be whenever a character in st tells a big lie it later has consequences. And yeah i do think it is a possibility that the duffers messed up, like showing that nancy still has a thing for steve probably wasn't the best idea.

And with Will they could totally just give him somebody random in s5 if he did just have a casual crush on mike, but instead he is IN LOVE with mike, so he wouldn’t be able move on that quickly."

-

Honestly I think they did not mean for the painting to play a larger role than it already did. Its function was to confirm Will's sexuality via his feelings for Mike. I think it's possible that it might come up again in s5, in a context that would allow Mike to realise Will's feelings, but I think that would be deeply unsatisfying for everyone since it would likely just result in Mike accepting Will's identity as a friend. So my hope is that they don't bring up the painting at all.

Yeah I think the random revival of St4ncy really shows they don't plan very far ahead when it comes to character arcs and relationships. It was a huge step back for both characters and it showed how much they don't know what to do with Steve anymore.

Wrt Will I disagree. Firstly, we don't know how "quickly" that could be - there's apparently a timeskip coming in S5, for example, so Will could have months or years to get over Mike. Secondly, teenagers can fall in and out of love very fast. Will is a 14 year old kid who has never had any kind of romantic experience. When you're that inexperienced finding someone who feels the same for you just hits different, and it can shake your world in such a way that even feelings that you thought were unshakable can go away. Add this to the fact that Will already knows he has no chance with Mike, already knows there's no reason to keep clinging to this crush... and yeah, I think him moving on would make perfect sense.

[gryfflepuffinthetardis]

Who I'm Willing To Write For

I don't know if I'm being paranoid but people seem to be not liking my posts as they usually do. So I'm going to simplify my Masterlist because I haven't written for most of these.

So I'm going to add these here. Remember the characters are color-coded by what Hogwarts house I think they're in and since Tumblr removed the yellow color, Orange will represent Hufflepuff except in the condition of Good Omens' Crowley who I am stuck between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. If you disagree, please give me your best argument and I'll offer my insight of David Tennant's Crowley.

Ninth Doctor - Brooding Time Lord Who Tries To Hide His Light with Darkness

Tenth Doctor - Hyperactive Time Lord Who Is Always Being Slapped Born From His Love For a Human Who Tries To Hide His Darkness and Trauma With Light

Metacrisis Doctor/TenToo (My Headcanon is that he chose the surname "Noble")

Fourteenth Doctor - The Face That Returned, now arguably more Hyperactive and Traumatized

Campbell Bain - Bipolar Nineteen-Year-Old Walking Ray of Sunshine That Somehow Doesn't Do Well With Girls

Alec Hardy (Broadchurch) - Grumpy and Broody Scottish Detective With a Heart Condition yet a Heart of Gold (Doesn't Know He's a DILF)

Emmet Carver (Gracepoint) - The American Version of Alec

Crowley (Good Omens) - A Hyperactive Drama Queen "Vaguely Sauntered Downward" Angel Turned Only Demon with an Imagination

Barty Crouch Junior - The (Possibly Bipolar) Misunderstood Boy Who Never Got His Father's Love and Was Manipulated By Voldemort (I think I read that he was actually a Ravenclaw but I do see a lot of Hufflepuff in him, his insistence of a fair fight and honesty and loyalty)

Peter Vincent (Fright Night) - Hyperactive Alcoholic Magician/Vampire Hunter with a Heart of Gold

Dave Tiler (Single Dad) — The sweetheart dad with too many children with so much love in his heart who fate was so cruel to.

Kilgrave (I've never seen Jessica Jones, I just feel like with him having the same accent and looks the same, it might ruin David Tennant's Doctor for me, and I love David Tennant as the Doctor.)

Cale Erendreich (Bad Samarian; Haven't Seen This Either)

Steve Harrington (Stranger Things) - The Hair; Nomenee for Mother of the Year

Isaac Lahey (Teen Wolf) - The Abused Puppy With a Heart of Gold Who Only Wanted the Power to Defend Himself and To Not Be Scared

Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds) - The Genius Pretty Boy

Raymond Wadsworth

Chip Taylor (68 Kill)

Kyle Orfman

Lesley Juniment-Smith

Thornton "Thorn" Adams (King Knight)

Joe Harper (The Band of Robbers)

Fred Weasley

Yes, there are a lot of David Tennant characters. I don't want to write for the actor himself, I just feel a little creepy doing that. In my numerous Steve Harrington fics, the more recent ones (The OC is always Dustin's older sister, except in one) I think he is the best Doctor and I think he should officially be titled as the biggest Doctor Who Fan ever. (He became an actor because of Doctor Who, he says he thinks he underplays how much he loved Doctor Who, he became the first regenerated Doctor and the first one to last more than one season on the revived Doctor Who, he met his future father-in-law, like a year before he met his wife, Ty Tennant, Georgia's oldest son and David's now adopted son, in 2008, considered the Tenth to be his favorite, and hilariously, his grandfather was nowhere on the five-year-old's list--then David Tennant met Georgia (at the time) Moffat on the set of Doctor Who as she, the daughter of the Fifth Doctor, played the daughter of the Tenth Doctor, I heard that David Tennant met Ty on the set, and according the Peter Davidson, Georgia didn't even realize that he liked her when they started going out (apparently he was offended when she said she hadn't seen any Shakespeare), then David Tennant counts as the unofficial twelfth regeneration (there was the War Doctor who the Doctors deem as not worthy of having the name of the Doctor), then he adopted Ty Tennant and married Georgia; he returned for the 50th and 60th anniversary (and I hope he never stops returning), now is the Fourteenth Doctor, that's three official regenerations, and Good Omens is full of Doctor Who references. I don't think anyone can beat him for the biggest Doctor Who fan. His life like revolves around Doctor Who in a way that every fanboy/fangirl dreams of. *(Can't pinpoint what house Alec Hardy and therefore Emmet Carver would be in, the only blog I've found on it, discussed how he may be a burnt Hufflepuff (just google it, it'll send you to the tumble immediately) but discusses his desperation in season two suggests Gryffindor, also implying his ignoring of his heart condition but he's aware that he has it, so he's gone to the hospital and he takes pills, he's just aware that the doctors told him that he may not survive his surgery to have the pacemaker put in and he feels like he owes it to the families to get the closure they deserve, so it doesn't strike me as impulsive but more dedicated, determined, and "unafraid of toil". Then the blog argues that his need to protect people he views as in his care and how he related to the Sandbrooke case as Slytherin but I don't see that. I think perhaps a "Burned Hufflepuff" is accurate.*

[drjdorr]

I came up with this theory some time ago and still think it's neat(dumb but neat)

Earlier I realized that the MCU didn't have a popular "they were all dead" theory that alot of media has(particularly children's media) so out of boredom I started playing around with that thought and honestly, a pretty reasonable theory could be built from that(at least reasonable as far as "they were dead the whole time" theories go) though not only are they dead, the Avengers are in Hell (ok technically seems more like purgatory since redemption mechanics may be at play but "Hell" is more dramatic)

Now to be fair not everyone in the MCU is a dead sinner, some are just constructs by the simulated reality and some are... going to be explained later however atleast the core Avengers of Tony, Steve, Natasha, Bruce, Thor, and Clint use to be alive

Due to the admittedly shallowness of the theory it will probably be easier to explain character to character and explain how they probably died, why they are in the bad place, and anything else relevant so let's dive in

Tony is easy. A rich weapons manufacturer who profited off uncounted deaths, hmm why might he be in the bad place? And before you say "but he changed" yes, but not before his death when a Missile exploded close enough to him to read the brand name. I may not be a military weapons expert but if a human is close enough to a missile to read what brand made it when it goes off, they probably are going to catch a lethal case of death. We also see a transition space which we see in some of the recently deceased in the form of the cave(ok my hellvengers theory is nonsense and I know it but is him "dying" then removing something preventing him from leaving the cave his body is kept in a Jesus reference?! Anyway) this transition space allows the simulated world to give an explanation of how the recently deceased "survived" *wink wink nudge nudge* their demise. We later see perhaps the only way to truly leave this hell realm without being revived in some capacity, noble self sacrifice.

Steve... Steve was tricky. Like how did he die is easy, he Crashed a plane full of Bombs into the Freezing cold Ocean, take your pick for cause of death(this also means he may be one of the characters we see alive the longest given it is most of his movie). No what was tricky was, why did Cap, an individual of pure heart(made even purer by the serum) end up in hell. The best idea I could come up with is either Clerical error(I promise I made the pun before initially noticing it) and ended up in the wrong place, or he went to heaven but where Cap is most comfortable is helping people so he Chose to go to hell to help redeem sinners(obviously with any heaven memories wiped), he would still be in hell though so it would still try to punish him. His transition space was his fake room which he saw through immediately (almost like he already transitioned to an afterlife before?). And lastly he found a different route out, he simply chose to leave. Ya, he belonged in heaven so once he decided to go back heaven let him back in were he could grow old with Peggy

Because team Cap are connected in choosing to be here let's quickly do Bucky. Bucky died when he fell a ridiculous hight from a speeding train, that generally kills people. Bucky also belonged in heaven but his heaven is being close to his friend Steve, so when Steve left to reform people in hell, Bucky wasn't far behind. Unfortunately (perhaps because his heart hadn't been purified like Steve's) his transition zone wasn't so nice, his transition zone was the Winter Soldier, Hell remember. And unfortunately the simulated Hell realm is internationally consistent so when Zemo used Winter Soldier code, the Winter Soldier activates still. Know if you can just leave if you actually belong in heaven why didn't Bucky leave with Steve? Well firstly Steve Chose to go to his heaven, it was an active deliberate choise. Secondly, Bucky acquired new friends so his definition of his heaven may have changed enough to not have him leave.

Rounding out the Cap trio if Sam(Nat is admittedly Cap adjacent but isn't a proper member of the group in my eyes). Sam had to be the hardest of the three. How did he die? No clue. Why is he being punished? *shrug* I guess he is a post WWII soldier and many consider the second world War to be our last truly moral war, but I don't feel like condemning all our military personnel(the complex itself maybe but the men and women serving aren't inherently bad). Then it hit me, it was so obvious in hindsight. Sam is an angel. He is an angel that followed Steve to hell because Steve's goals were so good and just(obviously with heaven memory wiped and replaced with a human life and angel body changed to human[though there may have been something stirring in the subconscious when he chose his career and tool of his trade]) and when Steve left, well the job still needed doing.

Natasha is easy if not as direct(I haven't seen Black Widow so that might throw wrenches I don't know) . She is a spy/assassin/ skill based living weapon whose ledger is "dripping" with red. Clear why she may be punished and cause of death is maybe op went wrong(maybe in Budapest? Hmm?). And she got out by self sacrifice in endgame

Bruce dosed himself with ungodly amounts of gamma rays those, as Fury put it, "can be dangerous". And why is he here... good question. My best guess is the fact that Hulk is often meant to represent the more violent and dangerous side of Bruce's personality, one he tried to repress. Which I admit eh

Thor is an interesting one. You see, Thor isn't dead. I know weird. But he is a god, so unconsciously shifting to hell to follow someone who is dead doesn't seem to unreasonable. Speaking of which

Loki attempted to overthrow his own adopted father by literally stabbing his birth father in the back. Pretty obvious why he would be punished. And he died when he fell into the void during Thor 1. He is also the poster child of the futility to escape outside of redemption considering how many times he "died" before he truly died at the hands of the mad titan after trying to do everything to stop him and thus nobly sacrificing himself. Unfortunately Thor unconsciously shifted so seeing Loki die die for certain might have caused him not to follow him again.(also TVA Loki split before noble sacrifice so didn't escape to heaven like sacred timeline Loki did)

Lastly (for now, it's late) is Clint. He seems to be a good guy so what if he is another Bucky situation where he is here because someone else, in his case Nat. Though he has an accidental secret, he brought abit of heaven with him with his family's farm that is isolated away from the rest of the world were nothing really bad happens until (the hell world breaches and) things go really bad. As for how he died, see Nat's cause of death

I know I said Clint was last but Steven died in a car crash while texting and driving(don't text and drive) and got sent here because he was a self centered arrogant egotist who only really cared about himself

[voidpacifist]

i have Predictions for season five

will is gonna have his moment. THE moment. where he comes out to mike or to his brother or to someone and it's not just hinted at or trotted around

somehow, some way, they're gonna revive eddie. it's not gonna be pretty. might even be vecna possessed but yk what? he deserves to be the villain after sacrificing his life for a town that literally wanted him gone in the first place

adding onto that, el will manage to bring him back and vanish/kill vecna for good, and they can use that to prove to hawkins that eddie is finally "rid of the devil" because he was technically exorcized

mileven will still be endgame, BUT either mike is gonna give his life for will's or vice versa and it's gonna lead to some sort of further confession from will about his feelings for mike (and yes he absolutely does have feelings for mike it's been obvious for a LONG time)

argyle is a wayyyyy smarter character than we give him credit for. somehow he's gonna come up with some whacky innovative idea that saves everybody's asses

murray and enzo and yuri will cohabit murray's bunker. or just murray and enzo. either way I'm not complaining

doctor owens is the one who's gonna come up with a believable explanation for anyone wanting to report on the "cursed town" of hawkins, and in addition to that, pretty much everyone is gonna move out

the only people I could see maybe not leaving are the wheelers and/or the jopper crew

jancy is gonna break up, but stancy still won't end up together. all three will probably remain close to one another though because I don't believe in messiness shut up!!

eddie and steve, if not together, will at LEAST be the unexpected, super close duo who act like an old married couple about things (post exorcism of course)

if and when eddie comes back from the dead, it'll hit dustin the hardest. and surprisingly, steve, who probably felt really awful for not getting to know him better before he died

vecna invades the minds of people and builds the upside down based off of their perceptions of hawkins. the first victim he took after he woke back up was will because of el opening the gate, which is why it's stuck in 1983. and like we all know that but I think if I'm going off of the whole will/mike sacrifice thing, will is gonna be the one to die, breaking the connection between vecna and his memories, so one of the key pieces in his little upside down construction project is gone. this will weaken him enough that el can finish the job

(and not a prediction but a complaint: why didn't she just squeeze his lil brain while she had the chance I am so upset like I get it plotwise but it could've been done so fast tbh???)

[sineala]

Holiday comics

This month I've been asked to talk about winter-holiday themed storylines! It's been miserably hot where I am; winter sounds nice right about now. I don't think many of the comics I'm going to name are going to be new to you. You can probably guess what they are! But maybe you'll have fun sitting down and reading them. Put on the air-conditioning and get some ice water.

Marvel has had a whole bunch of holiday issues over the years, and I'm not going to talk about anywhere near all of them. The most recent one I can think of is last year's King In Black Iron Man & Doctor Doom team-up, which features Tony and Doom facing off against a symbiote-possessed Santa Claus. I've never really enjoyed any symbiote-themed Marvel comics -- although I really liked the Venom movie, go figure -- so it's not one of my favorites, but it might be your kind of thing.

My favorite issue in this genre obviously has to be the Avengers vol 5 Annual. This was the annual that came out during Hickman's Avengers run. It's not written by Hickman -- it's by Kathryn Immonen -- and it has nothing whatsoever to do with the events of the run. You can read it without any familiarity with the rest of the run, I promise. It's definitely the happiest issue in that entire Avengers run. It's probably one of the happiest issues of Avengers that you will ever read. I had gotten into Steve/Tony comics relatively soon after this issue came out, and I remember seeing panels on Tumblr without attribution and not knowing if they were canon or fanart or edits. (I kind of enjoy the fact that comics fandom has this problem, actually, even if that means breaking people's hearts about that "solid dick" panel every so often.) And then it turned out they were canon!

You've probably all read it, but this particular annual is set on Christmas Eve. Almost all the team has cleared out for Christmas, leaving a skeleton crew to watch the tower. Specifically, Steve. Tony asks Steve if Steve's going to be okay before leaving for his private island. It's very sweet. But then the actual plot kicks into gear, and some kids who had been taking a tour have stayed to cause mischief, and it's up to Steve to stop them. And also, additionally, Tony and several other Avengers, because when Tony said "private island" he meant that he was shutting himself up in a bathroom with a swimsuit and swim fins and a crab floatie. Yep.

This is also the issue with the famed "Captain Handsome" line because not only is Tony a guy who has canonically used "Captain America" as his own password (good going, no one'll ever guess that) he gives everyone else their own personalized passwords to the tower, thereby making Steve identify himself as Captain Handsome, which I think says an awful lot about Tony.

Anyway. It's the best, and if you haven't read it, you definitely should.

Marvel also puts out a lot of one-off holiday specials that are usually anthologies of winter-themed holiday superhero stories. There were a few of them in the 70s under the title "Holiday Grab Bag," which I have not read. They were revived in 1991 under the title "Marvel Holiday Special." They don't do them every year, I don't think, but there have been a fair number of them.

So obviously these don't all have the Avengers in them, though the Avengers often make cameos; I skimmed through them just to check. It's also probably worth noting that although they are mostly Christmas-themed in nature, they aren't all entirely Christmas-themed; there's a story in the 2011 issue that has Ben Grimm and Kitty Pryde celebrating Chanukah, and the 1992 one has a funny story of Doc Samson attempting to tell children about Chanukah and embellishing it wildly to keep them interested, so that superheroes and nuclear weapons are now involved in it. He is not invited back.

They do have a few stories that might be of interest in the specials. The 1991 special has a story called "Precious Gifts" (by Len Kaminski, who you may remember from early-90s Iron Man) where Steve is volunteering at the VFW for Christmas (as Steve, not Cap) and meets a woman who wants to talk to him about how sad she is that her brother died in WWII and she doesn't even know how. Steve of course asks what her brother's name was. And she says his name was James Barnes, and that's pretty much when Steve's brain bluescreens.

This is Rebecca's first appearance in canon; she later shows up at the tail end of Jurgens' Cap run and then again during Brubaker's run; I haven't actually read either of those. MCU Stucky fandom really ran with her as a character, but here in 616 she and Steve don't know each other at all. He didn't seem to know Bucky had a sister at all, and she didn't know Bucky was Steve's partner, so after Steve figures it out he goes back (as Cap) to tell her about Bucky so she can at least know that Bucky died bravely, and he gives her a patch from one of Bucky's uniforms. It's very touching. I'd never read it before, so I'm glad I found this.

(I really like the scene with Steve interacting with the children at Rebecca's house, because I think it captures two key facets of Steve's character: (1) the angst about how he will never have a normal life and a family, and (2) his terrible sense of humor. "What's Thor like?" "Big." I feel like one of the things I would like MCU fandom to know about comics Steve is that he is, pretty much, Steve "Dad Jokes" Rogers. Not, like, as pithy hero banter, but in everyday conversation.)

This issue also has a Christmas-themed splash page of Steve and Diamondback that I think is pretty cute. Steve is holding up Rachel and Rachel is holding up Steve's shield so it serves as the star on a Christmas tree.

The 1992 issue has an Iron Man story entitled "Holidays on Ice." An ice-themed villain is angry that he can't find a job, so he decides to go ruin the Stark Enterprises holiday party, which was going pretty well until then. Tony suits up and of course defeats the villain handily and then offers him a job, because, well, he's a nice guy and it's Christmas. This is exactly who Tony Stark is, as far as I'm concerned. It's sweet.

The 1994 issue has a Cap story where Steve is chasing human traffickers on Christmas Eve (cheerful, right?) into a farmhouse "where [his] grandfather lived sixty years ago" because I guess someone didn't know Steve was the son of immigrants. Maybe it wasn't canon yet. Steve saves the kid and reminisces about Christmas, the soul of America, human trafficking, et cetera. I would recommend the previous Cap story over this one.

I think the last holiday special I can recall that had Steve and Tony actually interacting was a Gwenpool Holiday Special, and that was way back before Secret Empire (but after Secret Wars), while Steve was still old. I don't recall much about it except that they were attending the same party.

But the one of these that you definitely want to read is the Marvel Holiday Special 2005, which has an Avengers ensemble story by Jeff Parker; if you're familiar with comics because of their Steve/Tony potential, you'll probably recognize his name because he wrote several of the first issues of Marvel Adventures: Avengers, and though this is a early New Avengers-era story it definitely has that MA:A dynamic. It's not particularly shippy as far as the Steve/Tony goes but if you enjoy Comics Being Comics, you should know that this story is called "Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santron!" and features the Avengers fighting, um. Santron. Santa-themed Ultron. Yesss.

Anyway, it has the Avengers attending a holiday party at the Sanctum Sanctorum, because why not, and it's generally amusing and has some great team dynamics and I love Santron. There is an unfortunate subplot involving all the male Avengers maneuvering to get Jess Drew under the mistletoe which I think was supposed to be funny but to me came off as kind of creepy. But other than that, I really enjoy this issue.

That's all I can think of as far as holiday special issues go, but there are of course issues of regular comics that just happen to be set in or near various winter holidays. I actually can't think of any holiday-themed Cap issues, but I can think of a couple of Iron Man ones. You probably think I'm going to talk about the second drinking arc, but I'm not -- well, okay, not directly -- because even though that definitely features winter it's not really very holiday-themed. But there are other issues that fit the bill.

Iron Man #313, published in 1995, is called "Resolutions," and I feel like New Year's Eve definitely counts as a winter holiday. Which is when it's set. It's by Len Kaminski, who you may remember from several paragraphs ago as the guy who wrote that story about Bucky's sister. Ha. He's clearly very good at winter-holiday-themed character moments, because that's what this issue basically is. If you've read it, you know exactly what I mean; if you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. It's one of the only issues from this era of comics that I bothered to track down in paper.

So the entirety of Iron Man #313, pretty much, is about Tony going to an AA meeting on New Year's Eve and recounting his entire history of alcoholism up to this point. If you need a convenient refresher on Tony's drinking problem, this is actually a pretty good issue to pick up; there are later issues that recap Tony's alcoholism, like Matt Fraction's Invincible Iron Man #500.1, but this issue features the motivations and characterization that get the most play in fandom.  This is the issue where Tony recounts a New Year's Eve he spent as a child. The one where his father forced him to down hard liquor, which Tony did in an attempt to impress him. (Tony describes his father as "not a bad man," because Tony is not a very reliable narrator where his father is concerned.) Anyway, yes, this is that issue. It's dealing with the fallout of Tony drinking during the Vor/Tex arc, though if you love yourself I would suggest not reading the Vor/Tex arc and just reading this. It's good.

The only other issue I can think of that's at all holiday-themed is the arc toward the end of Iron Man volume 3, "You Can't Always Get..." (IM v3 #62-63), which is itself a sequel to "Jane Doe" (#51-52), which I would recommend reading if you enjoy Tony funding a women's shelter and generally being a really good human being. As far as I can remember, the first arc isn't holiday-themed; the second one takes place during the Christmas season, but the women's shelter from the first arc plays a big role here.

Mostly what you will want to read here is Tony and his girlfriend Rumiko going Christmas shopping in #62. The issue opens with them going shopping and Tony carrying all the bags and also taking Ru to go see Santa Claus. After that, they're walking down the street talking about what they really want. And Ru asks Tony what he wants, being as he's The Man Who Has Everything. His reply is: "Something money and power could never buy... something I've been searching for all my life. Someone to watch over me."

Fandom tends to feel like that quote is a pretty telling look into Tony's psyche, as far as I can tell. I think we all like it. So, yeah, that's worth reading.

I'm bad at writing conclusions, but anyway, yeah, that's all of the winter-holiday comics I can think of that are Steve, Tony, and/or Steve/Tony-related; I went through the Marvel Holiday Specials so you did not have to. Definitely read that Avengers annual if you haven't, though. It's a good one.

[arecomicsevengood]

Seeds

Before I read it, I had this idea I could write a review of Ann Nocenti and David Aja’s The Seeds for the Comics Journal, but the book just sucked too much. It had basically nothing going for it, or even decipherable as an advancing plot. One thing wrong with it is there’s this sort of conspiracy element, or this “no one believes the news” anymore element of it, but Nocenti didn’t want it to be about “fake news.” Donald Trump has rewired the narrative, so now entire types of subject matter feed into this propaganda machine simply by being addressed. Nocenti’s best work does not shy from topicality, addressing the currents in the cultural air, but this time the modern world feels too hot to handle.

I ordered the Daredevil: Typhoid’s Kiss trade paperback, reprinting a bunch of Nocenti’s work with the Typhoid Mary character from the nineties. The longest story in there is a miniseries with art by John Van Fleet. It’s partly about post-Tarantino video-store employees turned filmmakers kidnapping Typhoid Mary to use her as the subject of a documentary about serial killers and violent media. It’s also about Typhoid Mary working as a private detective trying to track down a killer of prostitutes, who the police don’t care about, and are maybe the actual killers of themselves. Storywise, it’s a pretty cool attempt to address real-world issues of the day within a pulp context.

Van Fleet’s art is pretty boring and bad in a way that’s distinctly ahead of its time. While the miniseries itself probably wouldn’t exist without the precedent of Elektra: Assassin a decade before, (a spinoff about a female Daredevil villain created by the writer during their run on Daredevil where that character defined their run) all the photoreference that’s probably actually just photo backgrounds run through filters sets a precedent for the Alex Maleev/Matt Hollingsworth Daredevil stuff to come a decade later. And it’s frequently annoying on a page design/panel background level. Like in terms of how the panel borders sort of default to grid shapes so there ends up being things that “read” as panels but that don’t actually do anything for pacing. It’s just fitting the narrative into regimented design choices.

This maybe only happens the once. But the art is also just super-stiff throughout, with a very chunky line that eliminates any real nuance. There’s a bunch of characters, but a lot of them are indistinguishable from one another, and that’s because the linework is about as muddy as the color palette — It kinda seems like he’s working with models and photo reference but also doesn’t have that many models to work with so he’s having them play multiple roles, but also his work basically seems more like photoshop filters than actual drawing? There’s a bunch of stuff that I think sucks, basically. But you can also draw a direct line from what Van Fleet is doing in Typhoid to what Aja does in The Seeds. All these choices that are meant to be classy and dignifed, a move away from the excess of superhero comics. The covers of Typhoid are just portraits of the main character, interchangeable from one issue to the next, which was a move that again, was ahead of its time: This is what so many Marvel covers in the 2000s looked like, the Tim Bradstreet Punisher covers probably being the go-to example. It’s pretty dull but it’s nice they’re not super-sexualized.

While the choices arguably suit the subject matter in Typhoid, which is at least partly about movies, in The Seeds, the story doesn’t really make any sense because the visuals seem so steeped in unreality. The premise is that a tabloid has photographed an alien, proving aliens are real. There is really nothing within the context of the story that explains why the news outlet would have enough gravitas to be convincing and have this be an actual news story. And the book is drawn in Photoshop, which is itself a photo-editing software, so the “reality” of the book is defined by the very medium that people recognize as why images can’t be trusted. This contributes a level of irony that could maybe be worked with if the book itself wasn’t so ugly and dull. The whole thing looks like some Banksy bullshit. Outside of word balloons, text appears in the large all-caps typeface of image macros. I don’t have scans of The Seeds because I gave my copy away on account of there not being any reason to keep it around.

The book is beyond dated at the time of its release. Partly this is due to the speed the cultural conversation has been moving for the past five years.  It’s been a difficult time period to work on a work of fiction about the news, certainly, and not only has the comic been a long time in the making, the writer has also been away from making comics for decades now. If the authors had been able to make this as a serialized monthly comic, it might’ve stumbled into timeliness, or the predictive, but as it is, the reading experience feels like a bunch of different, disparate ideas that do not really cohere into a narrative. Leaving aside how the book seems to emerge from a general cultural gestalt of the the 1990s, when The X-Files and Weekly World News were objects of discussion, every major plot point or news story chosen for thematic resonance is approximately fifteen years old. I believe 2005 was when I started to hear about colony collapse disorder. This bee metaphor has been lapped by a Honey Nut Cheerios campaign at this point. (A few years back, boxes of cereal came with seeds of wildflowers you/children could plant.)

Darin Morgan’s episode of The X-Files revival “The Mengele Effect” ably addresses all the issues with how cynicism and conspiracy theories feel different now, all the issues that Nocenti seems terrified of and hopes the audience doesn’t think of when reading her humorless X-Files throwback comic. That episode’s great.  Much of The Seeds seems like it was better done in the decidedly not-great Transmetropolitian. There’s something so dated and sad about this comic’s idea of a cool journalist protagonist: People barely smoke cigarettes anymore! I know no one wants to draw people vaping, but the imagery this book wishes meant “cool, urban, woman” reads as nostalgic affectation in 2021. That so much of the commercial landscapes of our cities has been replaced by vape shops was one of the biggest clues we were already living in a dystopia three years ago.

Nocenti, when she was working regularly, got to be a pretty effective writer for having a monthly deadline wherein she could speak on the issues of the day as they were happening. In the absence of a regular gig, this rare chance to speak her mind gets hampered by how much there is to talk about, and how complicated it all is. If it’s too complicated to address in an ongoing superhero comic, a one-off graphic novel with vaguely commercial ambitions turns out to be a worse space for it. It’s so much sadder than anything in this dream-of-the-nineties comic that the authors were given the grace to make something only under the conditions that doom it to failure. Real people made this work of fiction, and I don’t know what the fuck they’re even talking about, and that’s a more complicated narrative than the journalists in this comic who… stumble upon a story and then need to take to back because it’s too important or something? I don’t understand what this comic is about. It’s clearly gesturing at being about a bunch of different things, but what they get from being in juxtaposition with one another, I don’t know.

In interviews in advance of the release of The Seeds, Nocenti talked about how this was the first time she got to make a comic that didn’t have to have fight scenes or conflict in it. But reading Typhoid it’s clear how conflict ties the story’s disparate threads together. But also while reading Typhoid I kept on thinking about how visually, the Steve Lightle shit that preceded it is so much cooler! Here he is, bifurcating a page so two narrative threads can be told with different approaches to stoytelling:

People sometimes talk about how crazy it is that Nocenti started her Daredevil run immediately following up the Miller/Mazzucchelli Born Again run with a fill-in drawn by Barry Windsor-Smith. But I don’t think anyone has pointed out that, since these Typhoid Mary team-up comics appeared in Marvel Comics Presents, she’s basically following up Barry Windsor-Smith’s Weapon X, and Steve Lightle is totally capable of doing that! Even if these comics are kinda whatever narratively, Nocenti comes up with dense enough narratives to give him shit to do. She’s a good writer within the context of the harsh strictures of early nineties mainstream comics. Which I know seems like a harsh diss! But being a writer that makes work that consistently gives a comics artist something interesting to do is a difficult job that many people are just not interested in doing for various reasons, so it should be recognized when it’s attempted and accomplished.

It’s also interesting that the whole visual approach where both Steve Lightle and Barry Windsor-Smith shine is dependent on flat color. The changes in storytelling made to accommodate the shifts in visual language in full-color mainstream comics didn’t really benefit anyone, and now needs to be outsmarted. In The Seeds, we’ve got this pretty dull reading experience that superficially in its two-color print job and nine-panel grid, looks like it might be influenced by Mazzucchelli’s work in Rubber Blanket and City Of Glass. And we’ve got a black and white Barry Windsor-Smith comic coming out from Fantagraphics in a few weeks that I really hope blows it out of the water.

[mariahthelioness29]

Differences

pairing: Sam x Bucky 

words: 3.5k (how did I write this ?, I don’t know) 

Warning; pinning, fluff, a smidge of smut, cursing (a little), alcohol consumption and 2 idiots in love, slow burn

A look of Sam and Bucky in New Orleans, A party, and maybe feelings being resolved. A conclusion (I guess) of No Plan and Going Back. 

I was listening to Differences by Ginuwine and the tracks that follow on Youtube and I got inspired. 

A special THANK YOU to @avintagekiss24​ and @siancore​. Your comments, suggestions are gold to me. I am so grateful.

@siancore​ @xbuchananbarnes​ @avintagekiss24​ @helahades​  @euh-say-what-now​ @here-for-your-bullshit​ @rasberrylemon​ @blackmissfrizzle​ @sapphirescrolls​ @babiiface95​ @27dis​ @captainsamwlsn​

Face claim for new characters:

Nelsan Ellis- Lafayette

Rutina Wesley-Leyla 

Miroslava Morales-Miriam

Mood board for the party:

The humidity and the temperature were unbearable. Today is his no-shirt- shorts on-day. It is so hot, that his insecurities about his scars are taking a day off.

It is so peaceful, he does not want to think about the mission they just had. Missions are always blocked from his mind. They are a heat in the moment thing. He thanks his mind for blocking them, otherwise he will be a nervous wreck.

This heat reminds him of Wakanda. That paradise on earth. He goes through his bag and takes a colorful notebook with patterns. His photo album.

Looking at the polaroid pictures of him in Wakanda. Shuri had some vintage items. She loves polaroid’s pictures so she gifted him a Polaroid camera.

One of him and Shuri in the lab.

One of him with the village kids and the goats.

G’cobisa, Tabo, Tinashe, Buhle, Khanyiswa, Kholiwe, M’tobheli, Anathi, Bonghani, Fikile Gugulethu. Those children are angels on Earth. Bucky ‘s not religious but whoever is up there, be it Bast or Jesus, he will ask them this:

“Please take care of those children, the people of Wakanda, allow them to be happy and let nothing bad happen to them”

Sam, I wish I had the courage to tell you how I feel, I really love you and I want you so bad, he thought while remembering last night's dream. He bites his lip and sighs.

Last night dream and his early-morning wood were: Sam giving him a show, having the best sex ever all while he takes pictures of him with the polaroid. Him going down on Sam, while Sam records him.

“FUUUUCK !!” Sam groaned.

“Keep goin’ like that, you’re so good at that, look at me baby boy”, he said out of breath in between moans, grabbing his hair with one hand. He looks up to him, teary eyed. Sam was recording him.

He shakes those thoughts away with a chill on his spine. He does not want to go to eat with a tent on his pants so he focuses on the other pictures.

One of the rivers and one of Birnin Zana. The Royal Palace. The market. Him eating at the market. Him drinking a gallon of milk cause his mouth was on fire due to the hot sauce on his food. That hot sauce is a torture device.

One of him in all white fur, when he was in Jabari Tribe land as Shuri and T’challa’s bodyguard.

When the days were like this pure sun and barely wind, he just bathed in the river for hours. He stayed under the trees and the kids playing with his hair. He was the children's favorite pastime. Asked him all types of questions. Used him as a biology example, for the older children, when they needed to take their biology exams about genetics. As a doll, the village children and teenagers were always experimenting on his hair. They quickly realized that his hair could not withstand some of their hair-dos.  He looks at the picture of him with Bantu knots and the other with braids in rows. He guffawed with tears in his eyes.  

He remembers the Bantu knots fiasco. How hard the kid’s moms needed to detangle his hair with all types of combs and products, because the children literally caked his hair so that the knots stayed intact. He stayed with the knots because it was refreshing not having his hair loose during that heat wave until wash time arrived. It became a nightmare. Their moms taught them that Bucky’s hair is not apt for African hairstyles. The kids learned their lesson and did hairstyles that were suitable for his hair.

He was looking through the pictures until he saw his old pictures of him in the 40s. Those pictures were always weird to see . He fixated on those pictures till they became a little blurry. He closes the album

He wanted the confidence of James Buchanan Barnes. The Barnes that would steal girl’s and guy’s breath away. The same Barnes that rocked Steve’s world after they left that bar but he knew he and Steve  could never be. He chose Peggy. He does not blame him in the slightest. It was the best way. What they were was a crime back then. He and Steve could’ve end up in a psych ward or with sodomy and indecency charges and dishonorably discharged from the military. He probably would’ve settled with a woman he loved too. Living satisfied but within a lie. Hiding half of himself. Would that have been a better life than the Hydra ordeal he went through? Who knows?

One thing he is sure of is that he will be proud and loud to be Sam’s man. He will live his truth. He got a second chance so he will not waste it. Anyone who does not like it, can get fucked.

He went out of his room and went to the dining room.

“Morning”, he said.

“Morning”, Sam and Sarah answered in unison.

Sam and Sarah were busy in the kitchen.

Bucky inhales the various smells coming from the kitchen, his mouth waters.

“How did you sleep?”, Sam asked

“Like a baby”, Bucky answered him with a smile.

Sam looked at him impressed and responded: “that’s wonderful, nightmares are appearing less”.

“Yeah, they are appearing less'',Bucky answered trying not to wander to last night’s dream.“Hey guys, can I help with preparing the food?”, Bucky asked. He always wants to be of service.

“Buck, no offence, but you are a white man raised in the Depression era, I don’t trust you with the kitchen but you can set the table though”, Sam answered.  Bucky rolled his eyes at that.

Sarah was pressing her lips together to stifle a laugh.

He lifted his hands in surrender and answered: “Alright, I set the table”.

Sam pointed where the kitchenware and plates were. Bucky began to set the table.

Sarah looked at Sam with wide eyes and they both looked at Bucky up and down discreetly.  Bucky was shirtless and with shorts. His shorts hang low. His v-line was showing. His abs all out and that vibranium arm shining a little.

Breakfast was a quiet thing, with Bucky’s story here and there about Depression era food and how they used to boil everything. Sam & Sarah gagged at the thought of boiling everything. Bucky laughed at them.

Bucky offered to wash the dishes. After washing the dishes, Bucky said he was going to meditate and do breathing exercises outside.

After they checked that Bucky was far enough that he could not hear their conversation.

Sarah exclaimed: “WHEW, CHILE!!”

“pipe the fuck down”, Sam whisper yelled. “He is a super soldier, he has enhanced hearing!”, Sam whispered with worry

“No wonder why you got the hots for him, shiiiiiiit if you don’t tap that ass, I will ‘cause HOT Damn,” Sarah answered in a lower voice. “He might be the first white man to get this work”.

Sam glared at her and frowned at her with a faux offence.

“Were you not with Ricardo, Ricardo was white?” Sam inquires

Sarah scoffs. “Boy Ricardo was Latino. I mean he white. But not WHITE, you know what I mean”.

Sam shoved her gently and said, “Not you, wanting my future man. Get your own shit why you riding mine”. They both snickered and had Cheshire cat grins.

“Hey, but seriously, when are you going to tell him how you feel?” Sarah asked softly, putting her hand on top of Sam’s.

Sam sucked in a breath and exhaled, dropping his head down. Sarah’s heart softens, looking at her brother.

“It is hard Sarah; I want to but what if he is repulsed by that. I know Steve and him used to be something. But there is the chance, he does not like Black guys for that. He is still a 40s guy, so I am weary.”, Sam answered. Sarah cocked her head and nodded in understanding.

“The guy was literally tortured and brainwashed for decades. He is now getting to live his second chance at a normal life. I don’t want to put more weight on him because I really, really like him a whole fucking lot.” Sam continued with a defeated tone.

“Sammy, wake your ass up, that man looks at your ugly ass mug like you hung the moon”, Sarah said with confidence. “He likes you too and a lot, just explore that feeling and let it be one step at the time”. Sarah offered. “You don’t have to marry his ass. Just give him support, like you are doing but extend that support more on the physical side of it. God knows when was the last time, you and that man were laid”. Sarah laughed and ran away from the kitchen before Sam pushed her.

Sam chuckled in disbelief at what Sarah said.

It could all be so simple, then why is it so difficult.

He has always had this predicament when it came to liking men. He is who he is.  After years of hiding his sexuality in the military, it cost him to shake that state of being. He sighs and thinks of what getting with Bucky can mean to him as a man but also as Captain America.

Since the Accords fiasco, the Captain America mantle depends a whole lot about public perception.

He can hear Fox News, already. #handtheshieldback. That was a real hashtag and it could be revived this time by him being more openly Bi. Second, not only just being with a man, but THEE world’s deadliest ex-assassin and longest POW in US history. Bucky will get outed. Then Bucky will get dragged. Though Bucky has always said he doesn’t care about the views of the people, they can all get fucked (Bucky’s words). He saves lives and calls it a day.

As a man, he would be over the moon to have Bucky as his man, however he is still weary. Interracial relationships are hard. Imagine it now with a person from the Silent Generation, whew.

“Chile, I can hear the gears grinding from across the room”, Gideon disrupts his thoughts as he sits next to him on the couch.  

“You thinking about the white boy, aren’t you?”, Gideon asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“UGHHH STOP IT”, Sam exclaimed, putting his hand on his face. “Where he at?”, Sam asked, scared that Bucky might hear.

“Chill, he outside with Sarah, Miriam and the kids”, Gideon responded. “You know what you need? A nice party with the fam and friends, some BBQ, some booze and music”.

“Hell no, I am in no party mood”, Sam responded exasperated  while laying on the couch.  

“Well too late, Sarah, Miriam and I have already made the list and we are going to go shopping, food, snacks and booze for normal folks”, Gideon responded with a Cheshire grin. “Don’t worry, I got our homeboy covered, aged Absinthe, special brewed Moonshine, Asgardian mead, y’ know, some liquid courage so that he can finally tell you how he feels and put you out of your misery”, Gideon said while rubbing his hands together.

Sam rolled his eyes and kicked Gideon. Gideon laughed at that.

Gideon stood up from the couch and went to the table, where there was a box on top. “I’m serious, I already went to the Asgardian shop for some Asgardian unleaded and some booze”. Gideon shows him the box with fancy bottles filled with an Amber liquid, fluorescent green liquid, and the other with a clear liquid.  

“Asgardian shop? Asgardians in Nola?”, Sam questioned.

“Yeah, he met Aaliyah, married her, came to live here, and put an Asgardian liquor store, ain’t that some shit”, Gideon responded.  Sam's eyes blinked in surprise at knowing Aaliyah is married, not only that but with an Asgardian. Aaliyah was Gideon’s high school sweetheart and Gideon’s heaviest heartbreak when they split because they went to different colleges. 

“See? You are thinking too hard. If ol’ girl is married with literally an alien and they fine what about you with the metal armed white boy, ya’ll gonna be okay, ai’ght”, Gideon pats Sam’s shoulder with force.

Sam smiles at his brother, “you’re right, if he will not tell me how he feels, I will.”

“That’s what the fuck I’m talkin ’bout, my brother ain’t no punk”.

It turns out that Gideon was right. What he needed was a party.

He was greeting everyone; he was the life of the party. He was dapping everyone, hugging everyone.

Sam was feeling himself with his white tank top and yellow open up shirt with white shorts. Cuban cigar on his lips and Hennessey on his hand. He took the cigar off his lips and began to sing out loud;” It’s getting’ hot in here (So hot) so take off all your clothes, I am getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off”. He was dancing with a woman in a suggestive manner. The woman was grinding her ass against his crotch to the rhythm of the music. They were gyrating their hips in sync with each other and the music. Sam turned the woman around and talked to her ear. He was smiling. They look at each other briefly. Bucky lifts his drink up at him with a forced smile. Sam and Leyla decided to dance like this, since he saw Bucky getting cozy with Lafayette after playing domino, when Bucky won a couple of times. Needless to say, Sam’s mood sours after seeing that so he asks Leyla to dance with him to make Bucky jealous, giving him a taste of his own medicine.

Bucky was wearing tight black jeans and a blue Henley, hair in a half up and half down hair do, feeling uneasy to say the least, nursing a shot of aged absinthe.

He was feeling a myriad of emotions. He did not know if he wanted to be the girl so he can cop a feel of Sam or be Sam so that he can cop a feel of a woman. Either way it has been so long since he felt someone’s skin against his.  He thinks about having Sam that close in the privacy of his room. Moving into him like he is moving with that woman. There was a feeling eating him piece by piece. If it was a man, he'd definitely use his Winter Soldier face to scare him off. He realizes it is jealousy, he is jealous. He just stares at the tree next to them till it blurs along with the image of Sam and the woman he is dancing with. He feels his heart tight against his chest.

“You think is working?”, Sam whispered to Leyla, his high school friend

“Oh, yes, it is, the man a wreck, he was boring holes into us”, Leyla laughed and put her arms around his neck. “Believe me, you will have him in your hand, he needs to get a preview of what he is missing, otherwise he will never tell you how he feels.’ Leyla turned around and put her hands on his knees. They were about to give Bucky a heart attack with the next song.

Bucky got up and went to the table with all the liquor, wanting more absinthe.

He saw everybody rushed to the center of the makeshift dance space, as violins began to play. Bucky was confused and he concluded that the song must be quite popular.

Gideon was the DJ, he screamed: “Cash Money Records, taking over for the 99 and the 2000!!!”

Everyone either cheered or repeated that sentence in response, Bucky turned to see Sam and his eyes could not believe what he was seeing.

The woman was bent over wiggling her ass rapidly against Sam to the beat of the music. Sarah was doing the same to a guy.

He did not understand the dance or the music. He asks the Kimoyo beads to tell him what this music and this dancing are about.  The beads started explaining  what twerking was: “ twerking is a type of dance that came out of the bounce music scene of New Orleans. It originated in the 1980s. Individually-performed, chiefly but not exclusively by women, dancers move by throwing or thrusting their hips back or shaking their buttocks, often in a low squatting stance. Twerking is part of a larger set of characteristic moves that were unique to the New Orleans style of hip-hop known as "bounce". This dance move has roots in African culture and has spread to all scenes of hip-hop, current popular music and in Latin American music such as reggaetón. This is what you are seeing and hearing, Bucky”.

“God, I am such an old man”, he contemplated in defeat.

He could never be this jovial, he feels like he would hold Sam down.  In order to drown his jealousy, he began to drink that Asgardian mead, mixed with the absinthe like it was water.

He was feeling a little better with the alcohol in his system. It is refreshing to have the buzz of alcohol in him for the first time in 70 years.

He started to sway to the rhythm of the music too not knowing how to dance but he likes the music. The violins and piano remind him a little of the music back then.  

“I like this song”, “What is the name of the song and the genre?” he said to the beads.

“You don’t need to ask the beads”, he hears Sam’s voice.

Bucky stopped the bead’s explanation. Bucky chuckled at the sound of Sam’s voice and turned around.

“Who was I supposed to ask? You practically ditched me after dominos and spades” Bucky responded.

“Well, you could’ve asked your lil’ new friend Lafayette”. Where he at by the way?” Sam asked with a taunting tone looking around.

“You were pretty boo’d up with him”, Sam responded with a mean glint in his eyes.

Bucky smirked at him and said; “Ditch me too after I told him, I was interested in someone else”, looking at him while drinking the special brewed Moonshine.

“But turns out the person I like has someone to be “cozy “with, I guess.” Bucky said, while getting into Sam’s space and tracing his finger on Sam's shirt. “He even got a dance on him called ``twerk'', by the way I had to ask the beads what that was.”, Bucky responded a little hurt.

Sam’s breath hitched, feeling Bucky that close.

“So, I think, I need to mingle more, see you around Sam”, Bucky said while stepping out of Sam's space.  

He needs to act, and fast. 

Before Bucky could go, Sam grabbed Bucky’s forearm harshly and brought Bucky up to him. They look at each other with defiance for what seem ages. He then tilted his head and his lips were ghosting over Bucky.

You make the first move, I won’t, Bucky thought with Sam’s lips ghosting over his.

Sam gives him a bruising kiss.

Bucky was not prepared for that; he found support by putting his hands on his forearms. He matched Sam’s pace and brought Sam closer.

He feels so good, his lips feel so nice, Bucky thought while kissing Sam with force, all tongue.

After that kiss, they both needed to take a breath. He can see Sam not looking at him.

“Hey, let’s not”, Bucky said sternly while tilting Sam’s face up with delicacy. “If you want to regret something do it in the morning, not tonight, please”. Bucky whispered.

“I regret nothing”, Sam stated.

“That’s the spirit”, Bucky said, caressing Sam’s face, smiling and blushing.

“Ayee, this is one of my favorites, dance with me”, Sam said, taking Bucky’s hand in his and began walking with him to the dance space.

They saw Gideon and his wife, Miriam kissing and dancing to the song. Sarah and the guy she was twerking on earlier, also swayed with the song.

The song was pretty, light. They did not need to talk cause the song was doing all the talking.

“My whole life has changed

Since you came in, I knew back then

You were that special one

I'm so in love, so deep in love

You made my life complete

You are so sweet, no one competes

Glad you came into my life

You blind me with your love

With you I have no sight”, boomed through to speakers.

Sam and Bucky swayed to the rhythm, pressed against each other, Sam’s head resting against Bucky’s shoulder, both of their eyes closed savoring the moment.

They were surrounded by other couples dancing.

But no one else matters, only them exist.

Bucky’s eyes open for a moment. He saw Leyla and Lafayette lifting their glasses at him and smiling, nodding in support, then clicking their glasses together. He smiles at them back and closes his eyes continuing to savor the moment.

“They have a lot to go through if they want a relationship, but he will learn and go through it cause it is not only about him, it is about Sam and him.” Bucky contemplated. That does not matter right now, he feels fulfilled, at peace hugging Sam like this. 

Sam is still weary about how they can bond. They are such different people with different experiences, but that does not matter right now. He feels loved and protected with the way Bucky’s warmth is enveloping him.

[thenightling]

The Dreaming (2018) in a nut shell

Full plot of The Dreaming (2018 run).  This is copied and pasted from a Discord conversation because I didn’t feel like repeating myself...  That’s also why it’s a bit disjointed.

I'll explain the whole plot as best I can, bear with me. There's this monstress named Dora living in The Dreaming, and she's got a chip on her shoulder since Morpheus had once promised her she'd never have to be afraid ever again and that was shortly before The Kindly Ones.  Anyway, she's been haunting the dream of this woman dying of throat cancer (revealed to be Rose's mother).  Daniel goes MIA and doesn't seem to want to be found.

Suddenly these "blanks" generic looking humanoid enterities start pouring in from cracks in the dreaming.   Mervyn invents a racial slur for them of Soggies (totally not "wet backs").

While Daniel is gone Judge Gallows (another old DC horror host) takes over The Dreaming and promises to make The dreaming great again.

Dora befriends one of the blanks who is very child-like and names him Ziggy. Merv starts penning them up on behalf of Judge Gallows and even attempts to lynch Ziggy. 

Merv has a grudge.  Shortly before Judge Gallows took over Lucien used the helm to un-create Merv's friends right on the steps of the caslte and it was implied to be out of spite

("I did warn you." - said by Lucien).  It's a "They took our jobs" thing, apparently. The blanks are more efficient. No immigration metaphors here, nope.

Lucien is apparently slowly losing his mind / going senile.  He can't remember anything.   Eventually Judge Gallows gets defeated and replaced with this weird AI, yes an AI named Wan.   WAN, as it turns out was created by this character who looks suspiciously like Steve Jobs. Actual character name: Hyperion Keter.

Totally not Steve Jobs had a nightmare decades before where Dora was attacking him.  he had confronted her in the dream and told her she's not real.  This caused her to have an existential crisis and flee into The Dreaming where Morpheus had tended to her and sealed her own memories to protect her mind.  He also hid the newly re-created ruby dreamstone inside her to aid her until she no longer needed it.

Steve Jobs-Knock-off guy creates Wan with the intention of invading and conquering The dreaming.  He thinks all the ills of humanity come from dreams.  Greed, superstition, religious zealousness.   Oh, by the way, Judge Gallows heavily indicates that Morpheus caused the civil war and holocaust by creating him (Judge Gallows) to prey on man's fear of "The other". So anyway, while that was going on Daniel was playing human and dating Ivy. Steve Jobs sends some occultists to steal a lock of Ivy's hair to control her.  Ivy gets upset when Daniel won't let her tattoo him since she's a tattoo artist. (that's where I grew to hate her).  She doesn’t accept no means no with his bodily autonomy.  Daniel apologizes to her and proposes marriage.  He gives her an emerald ring.

The occultists (working out of Fawny Rig) control Ivy and she gives Daniel a dream catcher / tree of life tattoo that works as a geas to bar him from The Dreaming and prevent him from calling out for help.

Ivy tries to "apologize" by giving him a cup of tea but it turns out to be poisoned.   Desire (or what appears to be Desire, it might be posthumous Morpheus in disguise, the face is always partly hidden and he's very thin) warns Rose of what's going on and Rose slaps the drink from Daniel's hand but he's already had a taste.  Daniel, freaks the f--k out.

A dog walker eats his own fingers right there on the beach.   Someone screams until their vocal chords burst in their throat.  Daniel is maming and mutilating right and left (and this is NOT where those partiers were killed, that was earlier and said very nonchalantly during the dating montage.  Daniel made some drunk bachelor party guys who cat called Ivy walk into the ocean and drown...  I think he killed the entire party...)

Daniel finds the occultists and traps them all in terrible nightmare half-concious states but still weakened and unable to return to The Dreaming he goes to apologize to Ivy, knowing she was being controlled but it's too late, she's ODed and brain dead.

He takes her soul with him to flee to another universe.

Dora, meanwhile, gets a hold of Destruction's sword, briefly meets up with Nuala (who has learned Titania's true name thanks to Daniel stopping by for help with the fae).  Daniel gets the egg that Titania has from back during the original Books of Magic, this is the "Mundane Egg" able to open or create another universe.

Anyway, back in The Dreaming Wan (the AI) is trying to run things and doesn't know it has a secret dark side programming to destroy the place.

Wan legitimately wants to do good and blacks out when the other side takes over. An AI with a split personality. Wan talks Abel into taking the initiative and kill Cain...

Cain does not revive. Wan also digitizes the entire dreaming library because of Lucien's memory problems.   Lucien decides he wants to die.

Abel scooped out Matthew's eyes with a spoon and gives him his own eyes so Matthew can see what he sses, the secret that Wan is destroying The Dreaming. Matthew with giant human eyes sticking out of his tiny raven head, Abel (whose eyes grow back), and Dora, head out to save the dreaming.

Cain, meanwhile, his soul was uploaded into an AI at the home of Not-Steve Jobs. So he's there.  The heroes make their way there and learn the story of why things are happening.   Poor not-Steve Jobs was dying of cancer (this was really tasteless to model him after Steve jobs).  And Daniel briefly came to him, showing him what he was destroying in destroying The Dreaming,  Hyperion tried to set things right but his own minion stopped him.

Dora shows up and accidentally shuts down Steve's life support system. Rose gets told more exposition dump from "Desire" (I'm telling you, there are clues it's actually Morpheus) She hijacks a bus to get to Steve Jobs'  place. Here we discover the re-created ruby dream stone was inside Dora the whole time.  Lucien, meanwhile, had tried to be re-abosrbed into The Dreaming with the help of his dream friends (eve, Merv, etc).  And he has a brief visit with Death who introduces him to Steve Jobs and gives him a special book that has all of Lucien's lost memories. Dora returns to The dreaming with the dream stone, and her, Lucien, and the other dream folk are able to summon Daniel back, breaking the geas spell he was under (Ivy is left behind).

Dora is a Night Hag, by the way.   That was her big secret besides having the ruby in her. They kept harping on how special she was, that she wasn't like the others in the Dreaming. ...she was a Night hag, that's it.  They kept going on about her being special, this big secret, she's a night hag.  Eve delviers a line I cannot forgive.  She says something like "We were worried he only kept us around out of laziness or loneliness. We were wrong."  They were HAPPY they were there as a failsafe, as tools in case he got captured again in the waking world.  They would rather be tools than for someone to want them around out of loneliness?!  Daniel uncreates Wan but as Wan begns to fade the good side of Wan helps Daniel set things right and apologizes for its other personality. Daniel erases Rose's memory of the entire adventure (which I think is bullshit).  She lost her f--king daughter, you asshole!  And Lucien learns to be 'More assertive" and when Daniel requests he come to the throne room so he can thank them formally Lucien says no, because he's drinking with Dora.

"character growth" TM

 hated Simon's run of The Dreaming but not as much as I hate Caitlin R. Kiernan's. 

Dreaming Waking Hours is about a Nightmare named Ruin who escapes to the waking world because he's fallen in love with a mortal.   It's so much better but all the events of Simon's Dreaming are still canon so that's a problem. The villain being modeled after Steve Jobs even if he sees the error of his ways in the end was totally tasteless. My hands ache from writing all that out...

Oh, and Cain is back to normal (for him) he and Abel took turns in a sort of tag team tormenting the tech support for Wan, via nightmares. So they couldn't intervene in stopping the destruction of the AI. That was actually a fun scene. "There will be no tech support today." Cain shows up with a chainsaw.

Also the reason "not Steve Jobs" knew about Dream was because he found a journal from an occultist at a garage sale that described Morpheus' capture.

I think I'm still traumatized from reading it, especially the early issues where Merv was used as a Trump supporter allegory. And Abel did give Matthew back his normal raven eyes while they were in Steve Job's house.   Though don't ask me how Abel even did the initial eye surgery of putting his eyes in Matthew while he was blinded.  

Someone tried telling me Simon Spurrier wasn't trying for a Republican metaphor, he was making a commentary on the Tories How is that better?!?

It's still a very dated political reference.

[aforgottenballad]

Feelings on Sally Face Episode 5

Under a read more for obvious reasons, includes heavy spoilers and potentially triggering subjects. 

Disclaimer: I might miss-remember some parts of the story or have missed a piece of lore that would settle minor complaints. I am however disappointed in the ending as a whole and in some of the very harmful tropes included in it. But I’m also just some dude online with an opinion, and you can stop reading at any time. 

Rant under cut. 

Alright ya’ll. I’ve had a couple days to digest the ending to Sally Face.  While playing, I genuinely enjoyed some elements of the game. The chapter started on a dark but nearly hopeful note. Neil and Ash were still working to bring the cult down. It seemed likely Sal would be resurrected. Todd had apparently escaped the hospital, and that had potential to be either a very very good or very very bad thing. Maple was possessed by whatever fucked up the souls of the other apartment tenants, but hey! At least her and Neil weren’t in on the cult like so many fans predicted. Unfortunately, this series has a way of getting darker and darker as it progresses.  First thing that bugged me was the lore drop about how the cult was founded.  A Native American tribe. Right. Because why wouldn’t Indigenous peoples be in a story without being part of some mystical occult backstory, portrayed as mysterious historical props who worshiped something dark and evil instead of being portrayed as human beings. 

But I continued. I really enjoyed playing as Ashley and getting some insight into her character. I enjoyed the task of planting the C4 in the temple... catacomb... thing. We get to see Travis again! I was excited that a lot of us were right about him being indoctrinated but also working to fight the cult from the inside. We knew he had some good in him after all. 

When Ash tries to resurrect Sal, we get even more insight into her character, and unfortunately a lot of it is “Grieving, distraught, and full of self-blame”. I want to hug her.  Sal’s spirit is apparently revived by those pyramids, and he can dimension warp. We meet Jim, or what’s left of him, and he doesn’t give a fuck about anything anymore but agrees to help Sal anyway. This is, narratively speaking, weird as hell. His entire character arc for four episodes was “Loved his family so much he sacrificed himself to save them”, and suddenly he’s just some glowy dude attached to Magic Spirit Tubes who doesn’t give half a shit. I guess it makes sense as a way to wrap up why he’s been able to drift between worlds but... if he doesn’t care about any of that anymore why help Sal? And what about Rosenberg? Is she like Jim, or do we just have to assume she’s magical because her family helped found the cult? (Explained in an easter egg later on, because this game doesn’t just drop its lore. Not even the CRUCIAL lore. You have to achievement hunt for it.) Sal can enter various doors in the House In The Void to step into alternate realities, and this was my favorite aspect of the game. Each door has a different art style, and I really liked seeing these alternate realities. Steve probably worked the hardest and longest on drawing out and coding these scenes. I genuinely applaud the man for the work put into this endeavor I’m assuming all by himself. 

Meanwhile, Ash tries to unbind Larry’s soul from the tree house he died in, which doesn’t work. Did we ever find out why his body was never found? No? Ok that seems important.

After each puzzle, Sal’s body is restored a little bit at a time, but even after turning on all the pyramids and solving the mysteries behind all three doors, he can’t make it back to the “real” world. So Ashley kills herself. Or tries to. Because apparently that’s the only way to complete the ritual, and also because she feels really bad about not unbinding Larry’s soul and about not fixing Sal. Again, I want to hug her, but I have to watch her hurt herself instead, cause Steve doesn’t let us have nice things.

Okay, so this is a gorey game. We know. But one of the BIGGEST no-nos suicide prevention networks will tell you when consulting them about mental illness and suicide in media is NOT to show a graphic suicide in progress. Steve is aware a lot of his fans are A) Young teens to young adults B) Struggling with mental illness. 

His main character suffers from depression and anxiety and this fact has resonated with hundreds of fans. It’s irresponsible to purposefully include a graphic suicide attempt, but he did it last chapter, showing a gunshot suicide’s aftermath, then he did it again with Ashley. Call me a wiener if you like, point out the graphic scenes from earlier in the game and call me a hypocrite for not being upset by that, but you have to admit the Spongebob-close-up-shot look to those scenes have a totally different feel. Speaking as someone who actually has a pretty thick skin, but is concerned about the fans who might be in a worse place or who could be as young as 12, that was fucked up. 

Anyway, Ash’s attempt doesn’t take, because she’s struck by magic lightning, which infuses Sal’s soul into her. Now her arm is one of those stretchy sticky hands, but with bio luminescence and the ability to kick cultist ass. I actually thought this part was really cool, and was super ready to go on a cultist smacking spree. But again, we can’t have nice things and before we get to do anything badass we have to look at gruesome imagery again. 

You get to see Void Larry, who is now old and a wizard or something, but first...

Surprise! Maple and Neil are dead! Not just dead, but hung up from hooks covered in blood! And naked! 

Hey?? Hey Steve????? You know how they’re both POC?? And that lynching imagery is EXTREMELY NOT GOOD?!!????

“Two white people are hung up with them” YEAH? WELL WE’VE NEVER SEEN THOSE CHARACTERS BEFORE. THEY’RE JUST RANDOM PEOPLE.

I’ve seen people arguing “The white characters go through terrible things too” but it’s still really fucked up that by the end of the game, every. Single. Person of color. In the game. Has died. Gruesomely. It’s a gorey, dark, bleak game, and white characters die as well, gruesomely; but not all of them. None of them that are named are shown strung up, naked. That’s fucked up. That isn’t okay. 

There are also a total of three gay characters in this game. One is Todd, who goes through the standard “bad bad stuff” the game is used to, is the white one, and he survives. One is Neil, one of the aforementioned people of color who died horribly and who only really existed to be Todd’s boyfriend and therefore a source of angst for Todd when he dies. The third is Travis, another man of color, and an abuse victim, who dies to fulfill his character arc as an abuse victim, which is also really shitty to see over and over again as an abuse survivor. 

Look, I know Steve pulled a lot of inspiration from old TV shows and horror series that probably weren’t all “politically correct”. I know it’s always been kind of an edgy and dark game. I know Steve probably didn’t think about the repercussions of all his narrative choices. But I also know he actively ignored some people offering to educate him on issues he has no experience with. I know he worked hard on this game, by himself, but we as fans have paid him and waited for years and it isn’t selfish or ungrateful to be hurt and disappointed. He knows his audience is diverse, he knows a lot of us were attracted to the game because of a gender nonconforming main character, a main character who struggles with mental illness, a cast that isn’t 100% white and conventionally attractive. Of course he didn’t need to change the plot for us! It’s his game, his vision, but the least he could have done is research how to not actively hurt and alienate a good portion of us.  I don’t think anyone is bad or racist for still finding solace in the characters and in what the story was before this, I’m not attacking you personally, whoever is reading this. I, personally, still have loads of Sally Face art in my queue, I still have active role plays going on, my Sal wig is sitting like 8 feet away waiting for the next time my friends want to take cosplay pictures. I still enjoyed playing the game for the most part. Without this game I wouldn’t even know most of my current friends. It’s just really shitty how it ended like this, and a lot of people I talk to daily either feel too sick to even talk about the game anymore after seeing people like them treated like trash by the narrative or try to focus on the good things they got out of just being part of the fandom but don’t feel comfortable supporting the developer anymore. 

Even if there wasn’t all these hurtful tropes packed into the game, and yes, even after unlocking the epilogue, the game just feels cold. It feels rushed, probably because of how much time went into the alternate dimension gimmick. I wish Steve had at least consulted people over the script. It felt like not only did he pour all his work into experimenting with the mixed media, he also just took whatever expectations the fans had and went somewhere completely different just to have his story be “unpredictable”. That isn’t always a good thing. Plot twists, downer endings, dark and scary imagery, all of these things can be done beautifully, but in this case it felt like he just wanted the series to end. The game didn’t subvert expectations, it fed into the harmful stereotypes and tropes all the fans were so hopeful it wouldn’t. 

...On top of not making any sense unless you’re able to 100% all the puzzles. And even when you do, it feels like all the bad stuff happened for no reason. The ending doesn’t conclude anything. Even when you unlock the epilogue, all it tells you is that a third of the world has died and that the main cast haven’t accomplished much besides “Trying to help”. Sal and Todd have powers now, but that isn’t elaborated on much. Larry’s spirit is missing, if he even exists in any plane at all anymore. It doesn’t even mention what’s going on with Ash.  It just feels like nothing mattered. 

[princesssarisa]

Frozen II  – my thoughts on Elsa’s outcome (warning – long and full of spoilers)

At this point, my only real objection to the ending is the fact that separation endings have been way, way overdone in the past year. If Ralph Breaks the Internet, Toy Story 4, How to Train Your Dragon 3, Maleficent: Mistress of Evil, Steve’s outcome in Avengers: Endgame, and the finale of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic didn’t exist, my feelings would be almost fully positive. Especially because Elsa and Anna will still see each other all the time, they just don’t live under the same roof anymore.

I also have a minor quibble about the idea that growing up means you “need” to live apart from your siblings or extended family (not that the movie ever says that, it’s just a cultural norm). And when I read comments from fans saying “Yes, it’s slightly bittersweet, but that’s realistic, it’s a mature ending,” I feel a little sad that not even Disney is letting kids believe in happily ever after anymore. This applies to the whole separation/bittersweet ending trend throughout the past year’s family media. Again, these are minor issues.

But as a person on the autism spectrum who, like so many, feels a connection to Elsa, I love the way things turn out for her.

First of all, there’s the fact that for all of Elsa’s popularity, the protagonist of the original Frozen is Anna, and Elsa, though certainly not the villain, is, in terms of story structure, the main antagonist. Throughout most of the first film, her powers are a deadly force to be overcome – the endless winter must be stopped and Anna’s frozen heart must be thawed. Yes, the beauty of her powers is also highlighted and she fully realizes and shares that beauty in the end, but for the most part her magic is still a negative presence in the story. There’s a reason why so many viewers see it as analogous to a mental disorder.

Also, as many have pointed out, “Let It Go” has a bit of a Misaimed Fandom. Meta joke about how overplayed it is aside, it’s no wonder that in the sequel Elsa cringes at the memory of herself singing it. Yes, it’s an empowering anthem and it’s a good thing that she finally stops suppressing her powers, but it’s a bad thing that she turns her back on her people, her responsibilities and her sister, and while she’s reveling in her new freedom, she’s unwittingly burying Arendelle in snow. In the end she has to go back and give up some of that freedom, and even though she’s happy, it can still ring bittersweet to those of us who connect with the song.

The analogy is imperfect, but I do think of how my own situation with mild autism compares to Elsa’s. My huge emotions, panic attacks and ferocious meltdowns, so hard to control (see the Intense World Theory), and my difficulty with social interactions and playing by society’s rules in general. The concept of a person born with destructive magical powers tied to her emotions is an apt analogy. Her years behind closed doors bring to mind my own introversion and social anxiety. I hear “Conceal, don’t feel” and think of all times I’ve been instructed or scolded to keep my unruly emotions and odd instincts under control. Like Elsa’s powers, my autism has some beauty in it too: my intelligence, creativity, good memory, etc. But it’s still a disorder that society isn’t built for, and generally it’s something I need to mask around others. Also like Elsa, I’ve struggled with guilt and with feeling like a burden to my family. I know I’m not alone in relating to her for these reasons.

So imagine my vicarious thrill over “Show Yourself.” When Elsa finally learns the origin of her powers and learns that she was born that way for a reason – that it isn’t a curse, or just a random difference, but a gift. When she steps fully into her power for the first time, and unlike in “Let It Go,” it’s unambiguously a wonderful thing, both for her and for others. When she finally fully embraces self-love, realizing that everything she thought she needed from the outside is already within her (“You are the one you’ve been waiting for”) and that it’s time to fully show herself to the world. When she goes on to truly “see what she can do” and “test the limits and break through,” as she once sang, but this time in a heroic way, saving her people from her grandfather’s past sins – not from her own mistakes for a change. The moment I first learned about the plot point of the dam and the tidal wave that would destroy Arendelle if it fell, I was thrilled by the thought of Elsa using her powers to stop that tidal wave. The character whom we misfits relate to thoroughly leaves behind her old “sympathetic antagonist” territory and becomes a true heroine, taking her raw power that once endangered the kingdom and using it to save it.

(This is another reason why I don’t believe the rumors that she was originally supposed to stay frozen and that her revival is a Focus Group Ending. In the first place, what would be the point of her glorious self-actualization if it were only leading to her death? In the second place, who would stop the flood?)

I’d love to have the kind of experience she does. I wish I could learn that everything “disordered” about me is actually a gift and that fully being myself will bring good things both to me and to others. Maybe someday this will happen, but I don’t see it happening any time soon, so to see it happen to Elsa is incredibly therapeutic.

Then we have her becoming the forest’s guardian in the end. At first the idea made me uncomfortable because I thought it might seem to say that people who are different belong outside of human society. But the fact that she still regularly visits Arendelle and evidently stays close to the Northuldra too puts that concern at ease. I also understand why some people who relate to her are upset that she gives up her throne, because it was therapeutic to see someone so different and insecure not only find love and acceptance, but be able to rule a kingdom too. I agree that if she had wanted to stay queen forever, that would have been perfectly fine. But I think it’s perfectly reasonable that in the end it’s not what she wants.

Isn’t it arguably a bit of a waste for Elsa’s epic powers, which can alter landscapes, build castles, create life or take it, etc., to be confined to making pretty decorations and skating rinks? Isn’t it reasonable that after her self-actualization, she prefers a life’s purpose where her powers are central, since they’ve always been her chief defining feature and shaped most of who she is? As opposed to the life of a queen, where they’re only incidental? I can’t help but remember how much I struggled in school, from first grade through the first two years of college, when my hyper-focused passions for the arts, music and stories (the hyper-focus being an autistic trait, the passions being tied to the hyper-emotional sensitivity I’ve mentioned) had to be treated as just “what I do for fun in my spare time,” while math (UGH!!!), science, and other things i had no interest in and no talent for were treated as my life’s purpose. I also think of all the people in mundane corporate and blue-collar jobs, which I’m grateful every day that I’ve been lucky enough to avoid so far. If they were to find new jobs that reflect their greatest talents and unlock their full potential, wouldn’t we want them to take those new jobs? This is why I’m happy that Elsa’s new life purpose revolves around nature and magic.

Yes, I’ve read the complaints from some fans that Elsa has “lost some of her humanity,” and that’s fair. But let’s not be too quick to equate “humanity” with normality and “inhumanity” with difference. even if said difference is supernatural magic. Another reason why I like Elsa’s outcome is that Disney hasn’t always had the best track record with misfit characters who remind me of myself. I love Beauty and the Beast, especially from a feminist viewpoint, but when I see myself in the Beast, I sometimes feel awkward about his arc. I know they probably didn’t mean to code him as autistic, but still – a misunderstood loner outcast, to whom neatness, grooming and manners don’t come naturally, who struggles with the most basic social skills, who fails to understand others’ emotions at first, and who has massive meltdowns of rage when he’s under stress? How can I not see it? The fact that his journey consists of his being “tamed,” learning to suppress all his raw emotions and rough edges to please Belle, and that his happy ending is to become fully normal by becoming human again, doesn’t make him much fun to relate to. Give me a character like Elsa, who learns that her differences are her strength.

Elsa’s ending is just what I wanted for her, because it’s what I want for myself. Identifying with her is a more enjoyable thing than ever now.

[janamelie]

LGBT+ Characters

What This Isn’t

A claim of “proof” of the sexuality and / or gender identity of any of these characters.  We don’t need that or anything else to “justify” shipping.

What This Is

A reference post to collate instances in canon which could indicate LGBT+ characters.  In the case of regulars, I won’t include every instance as it would simply take too long.

Rimmer

As I was saying… :p

Honestly, Rimmer is so obviously LGBT+ to me that I don’t know where to start.  How about his reaction to Ace in “Dimension Jump”?

RIMMER: "Commander Rimmer!" I ask you.  "Ace!" Barf city.  I bet you anything he wears women's underwear.  They're all the same, this type, you know, Hurly-burly, rough-n-tumble macho marines in public, and behind closed doors he'll be parading up and down in taffeta ballgowns, drinking mint juleps, whipping the houseboy.

KRYTEN: Sir, he's you!  It's just that your lives diverged at a certain point in time.

RIMMER: Yes, I went into the gents and he went the other way.

KRYTEN: I assume, sir, you are making fatuous references to his sexuality.  If I may point out, if --

Or how about Low Rimmer?  Surely Rob and Doug could have got their point across a little less graphically?

Or if you prefer something less rapey, this passage from “IWCD”.  Unlike the show, Rob and Doug had more time and leeway to explore the characters and this is what they chose to include for Rimmer:

“Rimmer began to regret his outburst. He didn’t like to see his other self upset, and he even contemplated briefly going up to him and giving him a manly embrace. But in a brief moment of homosexual panic, he thought his double might get the wrong idea. Not that he would, of course, because he was him and he knew for a fact he wasn’t that way sexually tilted; so obviously his double wasn’t and obviously his double would know that he wasn’t either, and it was simply a manly embrace meant in a sort of mano a mano kind of way…Perhaps he was tired…Two or three days in bed and he’d be his old self again…Who cared if his copy saw it as a sign of weakness? He’d suggest it anyway.” Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers, Grant/Naylor, pg 233.

And this from the end of the “Better Than Life” novel, when Holly - whose IQ has been restored - comes up with a way to bring Lister back from the dead (no, not as a hologram):

“Rimmer stood in the hatchway and his face yielded to a grin, which in turn gave way to laughter.  Not his normal hollow braying empty laughter, this was an altogether different noise.  This was a noise his vocal cords had never been called on to make before.

It was the laughter of joy.”

Better Than Life, Grant/Naylor, pg 218.

I know some fans read Rimmer as asexual and you can certainly make an argument for that, most obviously in “Marooned” where he describes his younger self as not “particularly highly sexed”.  Of course, that wouldn’t preclude him also being homoromantic or biromantic.

Lister

No-one’s denying Lister’s obvious attraction to and affection for women, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t be bisexual or pansexual.  In fact, his “I’m not gay!” protestations in “Duct Soup” is a fairly common way for people attracted to more than one gender to describe themselves if they don’t feel comfortable using labels.  Given that he was talking to Chloe!Kochanski to whom he’s attracted, it makes sense that he’d prevaricate like this.

And then of course, in the very next episode “Blue”, he dreams about kissing Rimmer.  It’s not only the fact of this, it’s the subsequent scene drawing a direct comparison between him missing Rimmer and Kochanski missing her Dave - her boyfriend.  And despite the ending of this episode, when Lister actually meets Rimmer again, he’s delighted.  Until he realises it’s not HIS Rimmer and even so, he gets used to nano-Rimmer and they eventually become quite chummy.

Not forgetting the chemistry between him and Ace, of course.

Kryten

I know he's a mechanoid, but no-one has any problem reading his relationship with Mechanoid - and later Blob - Camille as romantic and Camille literally says herself that both she and her husband Hector are actually androgynous, which makes Kryten - at the very least - panromantic.

And that’s before we get to his very obvious love for Lister which he states himself in “Back In The Red”.

Holly

Holly was actually conceived as a female character and became male due to Norman Lovett’s original casting.  Sources: “Stasis Leaked” by Smegazine writer Jane Killick and “The Unofficial Red Dwarf Programme Guide” by Smegazine writers Chris Howarth and Steve Lyons.

With Hattie’s replacement casting and later Norman’s return, Rob and Doug may not have intended to create a trans or genderfluid character, but that’s what they ended up doing.

Holly is also bisexual - male Holly was attracted to Hilly and female Holly to Ace.

George McIntyre

It was actually Rob and Doug’s audio commentary on the pilot version of “The End” on “The Bodysnatcher Collection” which alerted me to this possibility.  I know it’s a stretch but I’m including it precisely because I’m indifferent to George as a character and it makes no difference to me whether someone believes this one or not.

During George’s speech at his “Welcome back” party, he says “I don’t want you to think of me as someone who’s dead, more as someone who’s no longer a threat to your marriages - I think Joe knows what I’m talking about!”

We see a man and a woman laughing and the woman playfully pokes the man in the arm.  He stops laughing and looks a bit sheepish.

Rob and Doug comment confusedly to the effect of “Shouldn’t it be the other way round?  This is one of the things we had no control over at this stage.”

Come on, Rob and Doug.  Not only does this scene appear intact in the final televised version of “The End”, you also included extra background on George in “Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers”, showing the events leading up to his death.  Unlike the hologram he replaces, Frank Saunders, there is no mention of George having a wife or indeed any partner, so as far I’m concerned, we shippers can read whatever we choose into this scene.  We would regardless, but the way canon leaves it is particularly open-ended.

Deb Lister and Arlene Rimmer (“Parallel Universe”)

See previous entries.  If their male counterparts are LGBT+ then so are they, plus I always got that vibe from the performances anyway.

Camille

Yes, everyone uses female pronouns for her as that’s how she presents to the crew, but she says herself: “We’re androgynous, but I suppose you could call [Hector] my husband.”

Noel Coward Waxdroid (“Meltdown”)

Mr Coward was gay in real life and his fictional incarnation here greets Rimmer with “Delighted to meet you, dear boy!”  I rest my case.

Nirvanah Crane

And arguably the entire crew of the Holoship according to her speech: “It's a ship regulation that we all have sexual congress at least twice a day.  It's a health rule … Here it is considered the height of bad manners to refuse an offer of sexual coupling … We are holograms.  There is no risk of disease or pregnancy.  That is why in our society we only believe in sex -- constant, guilt-free sex.”

Does that sound as though they’re fussy about the genders of their partners?  It certainly doesn’t to me.  So:

Captain Hercule Platini

Commander Randy Navarro

Commander Natalina Pushkin

Commander Binks

Sam Murray

From the Series V DVD booklet:

“Briefly revived in “Holoship”, it came as a surprise that Sam was male.  In the original pilot script - and Series 1′s deleted funeral scene - deceased crew member “Sam Murray” is said to be dating “Rick Thesen”.  Possibly Red Dwarf’s first gay couple?”

Cop (“Back To Reality”)

I’m sure it wasn’t written as such and maybe he didn’t intend to, but the way Lenny Von Dohlen plays his character’s reaction to the Voter Colonel just pings my gaydar.

Frank Todhunter (“The End”)

I know the conversation in “Duct Soup” (which also includes a reference to a gay crew member nicknamed “Bent Bob” *cringe*) where Kochanski tells Lister that the Todhunter in her dimension was gay is played off as something she made up to take Lister’s mind off his claustrophobia, but she never actually says as much.  There’s nothing to say that at least part of what she was saying wasn’t true.

Ackerman (Series VIII)

In the Series VIII DVD documentary, actor Graham McTavish says he was playing Ackerman as someone who enjoys sex with women “or at a pinch, men dressed as women”.  So onto this list he goes.

Big Meat (“Only The Good”)

I don’t blame you if you’ve blocked this one out as I find the scene almost unwatchable, but he’s the big prisoner who takes to the idea of being Cat’s “bitch” unexpectedly quickly.

Katerina Bartikovsky (“Back To Earth”)

Credit to @clueingforbeggs for noticing that in “Pete Part 1” Ackerman claims to have been “having jiggy-jiggy with the Science Officer’s wife” and connecting that with Katerina being a Science Officer.  There’s nothing to say that the Joy Squid didn’t conjure up the image of an actual crew member.

But maybe the ship has more than one Science Officer?  Well, the way it’s said makes it sound as though there is only one but in “Holoship” Kryten gives Rimmer a mind patch from two officers, one of whom is Science Officer Buchan.  There is no mention of Buchan’s gender so who’s to say they aren’t also female?

Begg Chief (“Entangled”)

“We prefer the ship of green.  And the sexy light man with the lady legs so long and luscious!”

Chancellor Wednesday (“The Beginning”)

Actor Alex Hardy says in Series X DVD doc “We’re Smegged” that he was playing the relationship between his character and Dominator Zlurth with a homoerotic undercurrent and you can see it subtly in his performance.

Dolphy (“Cured”)

All I’ll say about this one is that if Messalina had behaved towards Lister as Dolphy does in this episode, nobody would have doubted that she was into him.

Ziggy (“Timewave”)

Proof that LGBT+ characters in this show work a lot better when Doug isn’t intentionally writing them as such.  Sorry.

Feel free to add any examples I may have missed.

@lord-valery-mimes  @aziraphale-lesbian   @notalwaysweak  @feline-ranger  @downonthepharm-red-dwarf  @hologrammette  @rosecathy  @cazflibs​

[autumnrory]

okay ik like everything’s been said about steve’s ending in endgame and i’ve made a million little posts but i’ve been meaning to write my own essay bc i’m MAD (if u liked it for him then like i’m sure u don’t wanna read so u can scroll on past) and there’s a lot of other stuff i didn’t like/that didn’t make sense about the movie but this post is about steve anyway let’s go

so from what i can tell there is not even a consensus among people who liked the ending whether it’s the same timeline or an alternate timeline but let’s talk about the possibilities here and what they mean, at least based on my understanding

option 1: same timeline

this means one of two things. either steve was actually peggy’s husband all along OR by going back and marrying her, that erases her husband and children entirely.

so if steve was peggy’s husband all along, that means that?? old steve has been walking around this entire time and nobody knew about it? this means that in 2016 sharon carter was like “you know what would be fun? kissing my great uncle when he’s young and hot” which WOW i thought it was icky before just bc she was PEGGY’S niece? marvel might have just made that worse. and hey, i’ll be fair, i’m sure in the very little time they likely took to think about this ending, they definitely weren’t thinking about sharon, considering they hardly thought about her when she was actually appearing in the movies. if steve was peggy’s husband all along, that means she was lying in the smithsonian footage, which hey, i don’t doubt her ability to lie, but the whole ass video is floating around out there and i’m just not sure you can fake that kind of emotion. when they ask her about her being the last person to talk to steve? that is a person talking about losing someone they cared for six years ago. it just contradicts so much of catws and other parts of the mcu (and the idea that people have that this was the plan the entire time? yeah fucking right the writers do not plan like that if they did there wouldn’t be so many fucking inconsistencies in this universe. i’m willing to bet they couldn’t name peggy’s husband in catws bc they were planning agent carter and thought there would be an explicit confirmation of who it was) and anyway, even if steve was her husband all along, there’s no way either steve or peggy could have KNOWN that she didn’t have a future being erased. so would either of them have really WANTED to take that chance?

the other option is of course that peggy moved on from steve, fell in love with somebody else, got married, had children, grandchildren, etc. if that’s the case, that means steve just changed her entire storyline. and who knows what marrying steve could have changed. it just........okay, agent carter was the first thing in the mcu i watched before i even knew shit about captain america (literally when they showed flashbacks i was like *maria hill voice* who’s this guy) but while we don’t know with any certainty that daniel sousa was the guy she ended up married to, i would have to guess steve went back to BEFORE she and daniel got together, meaning that like the entirety of agent carter is probably erased. her whole INCREDIBLE journey. i’ve read a million things the last week so if someone can let me know who the fuck said this, please do, but anyway someone said peggy’s story really begins when steve goes into the ice and it’s SO TRUE. “i have lived a life. my only regret is that you didn’t get to live yours.” LET THEM KEEP THE LIVES THEY WERE MEANT TO LIVE. and anyway, i just think there’s no way, going back and changing who she marries wouldn’t also alter SO MUCH of what she did, and therefore our timeline.

either way, this option goes against everything about steve. i don’t care if he IS tired of fighting, there’s still no way he would sit quietly and not try to prevent things from happening. assassinations, hydra infiltrating shield, his BEST FRIEND being tortured and brainwashed for seventy years.

steve: if i see a situation pointed south, i can’t ignore it. sometimes i wish i could. tony: no you don’t. steve: no i don’t.

again, i’ll be fair, several years have passed since steve said that, but i just don’t buy the idea that he’s gonna sit back quietly, when his character through the whole mcu has been about fighting for what’s right 

option 2: alternate timeline

i’ve seen some people say it’s because of the bracelets they used that would have allowed steve to jump back into our timeline when he’s old and be in the right place at the right time but like..........what’s the point. he ditched his friends and lived through seventy years without them so am i expected to believe that this steve (i don’t know him) even really cares about handing off the shield to sam (which, i did want, just in the form of our steve retiring and living his own life in the PRESENT) idk that last scene was just so much so fast and i was so mad watching it unfold i could hardly stand it so whatever

so okay say steve goes back to peggy and creates an alternate timeline by doing so, maybe in this timeline he rescues bucky and prevents a bunch of other things from happening

........but wasn’t the point of returning the stones to when and where they got them (which, of course we know the only reason steve was doing this alone was to get to this ending, but it’s ridiculous considering they had a whole team going to all different places in the movie WHATEVER) to PREVENT the creation of an alternate timeline? that’s why the ancient one was hesitant about giving bruce the time stone because it would create a branch or whatever IT MAKES NO SENSE.

this theory at least doesn’t necessarily screw over peggy since...our peggy would still exist and the steve and peggy we saw at the end of the movie would be in an alternate timeline

but it does go against the time travel rules as i understand them and it still fucks up steve’s characterization

whatever

everything’s fucked anyway

if they ever address it, whatever the mcu logic is, all these possibilities have flaws/leave plot holes because they really hardly gave any thought to their characters OR their time travel logic bc they wanted to force this ending

seriously all the peggy references throughout the movie like?? ofc he’s still gonna have that compass and i guess still carry it around since he’s been on the run and hasn’t a permanent place and therefore no safe place to keep it but....he looks at her picture before they go after thanos? it would make more sense if he looked at a picture on his phone of like him, bucky and sam or something. he’s at that group meeting five years later and talks about the loss of his chance with peggy which was u know like a decade ago for him (and i know i don’t like people saying ‘oh just get over it’ i don’t mean it like that i just mean like.......he was willing to move on in cacw - with her NIECE but whatever - and suddenly it’s like he’s never ever been over her and calling her the love of his life) instead of talking about the loss of bucky and sam, two of his best friends? wanda? t’challa? maria? nick? even the way he dresses is very reminiscent of the first avengers when he’s JUST woken up, but he gets away from that throughout the cap movies and gets more used to modern life. endgame does everything to force the idea that he’s still completely uncomfortable in this time. as if what? twelve years in the twenty-first century would mean going back to the 1940s makes you just as much a man out of time.

AND PEGGY. my god, i’ve loved peggy’s story though the mcu and look what this fucking movie did. peggy doesn’t even have fucking lines. we don’t even hear her talk when he stares longingly and dramatically at her through a window (it really reminded me of that jess/rory scene in the gilmore girls revival and hey that was a pairing i thought SHOULD have ended up together, but should not have had all that pining very similarly like ten years later it’s just weird the disappointments i feel in both of these things are so similar but that’s beside the point). we don’t get to see them have a conversation when he goes back to her. tony talked to howard and thor talked to frigga and we didn’t see steve talk to peggy. if she’s supposed to be The Love Of His Life (does marvel know if she could have another love of her life then so could he but whatever) and is suddenly his reason for everything or whatever they’re trying to play at, shouldn’t we get more than a longing look (not even a mutual one, like all the ones we got in catfa) and the dance? peggy carter is AMAZING and she doesn’t even really get a say. they reduced her to the object of steve’s affection and nothing more and it’s HORRIBLE.

frigga said “you’re not my thor” and i think peggy, be it 40s peggy or 70s peggy, would recognize that this is not her steve. look at everything he’s been through the last decade. he’s been through so much and yes, his relationship with peggy was a missed chance, but....the steve of now is not the steve that she lost. and i think no matter how much she might have wanted it to be whenever he came back to her, she would have known that and she would have sent him back home where he belongs, with his new family, in the present.

peggy was the one who said in catws “the world has changed and none of us can go back. all we can do is our best and sometimes the best that we can do is to start over.” steve’s whole story since waking up has been about moving on and making peace with the fact that he lost his chance at the life he could have had after the war (much as i hate aou, it does touch on that fact, he says someone who wanted family and stability or w/e isn’t who came out of the ice and he says at the end of the movie “i’m home” THIS IS HIS HOME MARVEL HERE AND NOW). the fact that the trailer used peggy’s quote about moving forward and then fucking went against the whole ass point.......wild

and i hate to say this i really do.........but not in a satisfying way, just in an it-would-make-sense way. i didn’t want any characters to die, i think after seeing characters suffer so much they deserve a happy ending (so don’t tell me i don’t want steve to be happy because i do i’ve been yelling about how he needs to rest since cacw). but. BUT. it would have made more sense if he died, if he sacrificed himself, because that was a thing he constantly did throughout the mcu, just ya know, he always survived it. going down in the plane in catfa, on the helicarrier in catws, in sokovia in aou, and so on

and lemme tell you, steve dying? that was my Big Fear for this movie, i didn’t want to believe they would go there (i never expected they would go there with tony AND NAT god i’m mad about her too but that’s not what this post is about) but i was prepared for the possibility. when i first saw the theory floating around about him going back in time to be peggy, i didn’t think it was feasible (and it’s not! truly! it makes no sense!) and i didn’t think they would do something as complicated as messing with time like that (boy was i wrong) so i wrote it off. but i think.......what happened feels worse, because character death in movies like these can p much always be fixed you know? even if canon doesn’t, fic can keep everything canon gives us and still be like ‘oh they’re not actually dead because ____’ and this....this can’t be changed. fic has to change the ending. that last five minutes. five minutes fucked up ten years of characterization. anyway.

so here’s what i was thinking about? while not exactly the same because it was ya know parents they lost, thor had a conversation with frigga, tony had a conversation with howard. imagine if it had been steve on the mission to get the soul stone. and okay as a clintasha stan (fuck you aou) i LOVED that scene until nat’s death, i loved them fighting each other to be the one to go. but if it had been steve and maybe still nat too, he could have had his own blast from the past like thor and tony did with the red skull because idt he ever even found out it was the red skull in the soul world (is that what it’s called i forget), bc iirc clint just said something about a red guy. anyway it could have made for some nice catfa parallels with steve and red skull and if he WAS with nat it could have made for a nice aou parallel when they stay to get all the citizens out of there (”where else am i gonna get a view like this?” bc both my babies are willing to sacrifice themselves to save the world). but imagine when the relationship between steve and natasha has also been such a big part of the mcu, the two of them learning to trust each other and protect each other, and save each other, imagine both of them disagreeing over who should be the one to die, maybe not in the same way as clint and nat, not with physically trying to keep the other down, but...fighting about it nonetheless. imagine natasha watching him fall, imagine her returning without him.

of course this would’ve made me mad too because that would’ve meant not just that steve died, but that he died without getting to see bucky and sam again. but at least it would’ve MADE NARRATIVE SENSE and not fucked up his character, because it’s exactly the kind of thing he would do. anyway, it didn’t even have to be this idea of mine, it didn’t even have to be death at all, i just think...it would have made more sense than chasing after this fantasy of a life that he realized (and seemed to accept) he couldn’t have years ago.

now. what i’ve been screaming for the last week. to put it simply: STEVE WOULD NEVER. steve wouldn’t take peggy’s past away from her. steve wouldn’t leave bucky and sam and his other friends behind after all the hell they’ve been through, after half the population just woke up five years in the future, something he's experienced on a much larger scale. steve could have still given up being captain america. could have said, hey i still wanna do good but i don’t wanna fight aliens and shit anymore and i wanna have a chance to actually live my life. he could have given the shield to sam (okay ik the shield was destroyed at that point but u know what i mean) and that could have been the perfect ending for him, to get his happiness with who and what he still has, to truly make peace with what he’s lost.

and i can’t say all this without getting into bitter stucky territory. the entire fucking captain america trilogy has revolved around steve’s relationship to bucky. protecting bucky, saving him, believing in him when no one else will. he went on that mission in catfa based on the hope that bucky was alive, he lost him when he fell from that train. when steve found out bucky was alive, he gave up fighting him HE DROPPED HIS SHIELD he was willing to die on that helicarrier trying to save bucky, trying to get him to remember. with sam’s help they spent two years trying to find bucky and okay i’m not gonna get into why cacw bugged me that’s not this post but he STILL was trying to keep bucky safe, still believing in bucky, just....everything it’s too much to even put into words what the two of them mean to each other, what they do for each other.

bucky and steve haven’t really had a chance to be back in each other’s lives since cacw. bucky went back into cryo and sure we can assume steve’s visited him since he woke up but steve’s been on the run with sam and nat like........they’ve had very little time together. and steve just lived another five years without bucky AND sam and ditched them immediately? for someone he had a relationship with ten years ago? for someone he obviously was not meant for BECAUSE they DIDN’T end up together because he went down in that plane and she moved on and i’m just!!!

and anyway is bucky really like okay? like i saw that vid where the fan asked about the movie properly ending their story and they totally bullshitted an answer about them being able to be separate or whatever but like they’ve hardly been able to be TOGETHER, they’ve been pulled apart over and over. and like, yes bucky has his life in wakanda and he has sam but we haven’t really seen much of those relationships so we don’t actually know how much that means! steve is the only person who can understand even somewhat what bucky’s been through (obvs other mcu characters know what it’s like to have their minds fucked with whereas steve doesn’t know what that part’s like, but bucky hasn’t interacted with those characters unfortunately) so ya know at least in terms of adjusting to a whole new life after your old one was ripped away, steve’s all he’s got. ofc now other people will get a sense of that, but still. in terms of history, shared life experience, steve and bucky are all each other have.

all bucky and steve share in this movie is an exchange that literally already happened in catfa but in reverse. they couldn’t even give us an original MOMENT. and bucky apparently knew what steve was gonna do which just makes it WORSE, like he just had to accept it and let steve go, let steve be someone else. if they wanted to end steve’s arc properly, it would’ve been about bucky because THAT’S what steve’s whole fucking story has been about, and the writers and directors who literally made steve’s arc that way fucking ignored that bc they’re homophobic (and misogynistic) goodbyeeeee like u cannot deny that tearing bucky and steve apart permanently isn’t a slap in the face to stucky shippers, they’ve been giving less and less since catws when they realized how obviously romantic their story is. it’s just fucking cruel (don’t get me started on using the song from right before steve and bucky’s first interaction in catws for the dance as soon as it started playing i wanted to SCREAM ik it’s possible they didn’t know it was an association with stucky buuuuuut with social media ppl very easily know what the fandom is saying so. who knows it just fucking sucked) to put an end to the stevebucky relationship when they haven’t had a real chance to be together, even as just friends, since catws, and it’s especially cruel to end their relationship THIS WAY

anyway this ending (JUST A FEW MINUTES REALLY) just does a disservice to steve AND peggy AND bucky and their stories and i’m just so disappointed and angry on their behalf. if anyone wants to talk about it to me FEEL FREE as long as you’re not a dick bc i obvs love to commiserate with the fandom over this MESS

[thatwitchrevan]

Okay so here’s my general impression of Endgame, aka what I liked and didn’t like. This post has ALL the spoilers (or at least a lot of them.)

Things I didn’t like:

Carol’s parts in the movie were way too brief. I understand this movie was mainly about sending off the original Avengers but I really thought there’d be more Carol!!!

I also wanted more Valkyrie.

Steve’s ending was...not at all satisfying to me. Seeing him as an old man was jarring and the way they did the scene felt cheesy and if they expected me to be happy about him going back to live with Peggy I’m...not. It’s not that I don’t like Peggy but I literally haven’t been invested in their relationship since the end of The First Avenger. At least not romantically. Steve’s scenes with Peg in Civil War were good and I was heartbroken when she died. I like her as a character. But I’m so far from convinced that she was the great love of Steve’s life that he was always meant to be with. If that’s the case why wasn’t there more than a literally five seconds foreshadowing that he’d go back? I liked the scene where he saw her in shield hq and they should’ve left it at that.

Because here’s the thing. Not only has Peggy not been upheld as The Significant Person in Steve’s life, but he has other people that are right there in 2023 that he should give a second thought to. All the surviving Avengers, for one, but particularly Bucky and Sam. You’re telling me Steve loves Peggy SOOOOO much after not seeing her for over a decade and not having been in a relationship with her for much longer, that he would abandon his best friends without ever telling them he wasn’t coming back, RIGHT AFTER they had just come back from the dead and he’d mourned them for five years??? really??? nah absolutely not. There isn’t any way in hell Steve Rogers would ditch his best friends for his ex like that. Are you kidding me. I hate it. 

Natasha?????? Didn’t get??? a funeral??? SHE SHOULD HAVE A STATUE. A MEMORIAL. She sacrificed herself for a CHANCE to save the world and she gets nothing except a few solemn words between Avengers? why didn’t they at least give her and Tony a joint funeral are you fucking kidding me all the same people could’ve come. 

Don’t tell me Fury wouldn’t speak at Nat’s funeral. AND CLINT. AIUDNUDNAUIDND

The fact that instead of resetting the timeline (which I understand why they couldn’t do that) they brought everyone back five years later with all the consequences of millions of people disappearing from existence temporarily is fucking with my head and given the way everything was handled in this movie I highly doubt it’s going to be satisfyingly addressed in future ones. Like listen - May lived without Peter FOR FIVE YEARS. That’s just an example.

I’m really really really sad they didn’t bring Loki and our original Gamora and Vision back. They didn’t even really discuss it. Thor said NOTHING about wanting his brother back. I don’t even think he said he missed him?? We spent this whole hiatus thinking about if and how those characters might also be revived and Endgame gave only the barest shrug in response to those questions and hopes. Those characters’ stories got NOTHING satisfying to tie them up. I’m so disappointed.

The fact that Nat didn’t get to see the massive team up at the end makes me emo.

Things I liked:

Morgan Stark is absolutely precious and I love her and I too would tell all the Avengers to fuck off and let the world continue to burn in order to protect her.

Seriously I haven’t been able to get over the fact that they gave Tony and Pepper a beautiful baby girl. The pure happiness I felt when realizing that TONY HAD A CHILD was...unparalleled. I literally cannot. He loves her SO MUCH. He wanted her SO MUCH. He wanted to be a dad, and a good one. and he was. He was the best dad. i’m crying. 

“I love you 3000″

Morgan is an absolute angel 

NAT NAT NAT my baby my love

she’s so fucking sad the whole time. her expression when they killed Thanos and realized there was nothing left to do destroyed me. And post time skip??? her crying over her sandwich and smiling at Steve with ALL the sadness in the world in her eyes and trying to keep up with being an Avenger even though it kind of feels like there’s no point anymore, because she HAS to? you can see her survivor’s guilt. She knows the world’s already ended and she’s one of the ones who has to go one. She knows her best friend lost his family and is out there losing himself too. She knows half of her family is never coming back. I can’t handle how sad she is or how strong she is for going on anyway. She’s amazing.

and it KILLS me that she died but if it had to happen I’m glad it was the way she wanted. she saved the world one more time.

Bruce was so good the whole time. I love seeing him and Hulk coexist, I love his nearly ever-present sweet little smile, how much he appreciates what and who he still has, how he’s still trying to be optimistic. Bruce has been through a lot, including suicidal depression, and here he is doing his goddamn best and SMILING. I’m just?? so proud and I love him he’s come so far.

I love all the tender little moments??? Nebula and Tony playing tabletop football (and the way he very calmly, non-judgmentally says ‘you don’t have to do that’ when she thinks it’s a fight at first) and taking care of each other (she lets him have the rations?? covers him with a blanket?? is this fanfic that I wrote in my dreams??); Bruce reminding Thor how he helped him when he was in a bad place (and his goddamn smile when he says it, so full of love and care?? Bruce adores him and just wants to help him I cry); Steve trying to cheer Nat up and them just being friends; Rhodey and Nat being buddies and looking out for each other; Rocket and Nebula holding hands; Tony crushing Peter in a hug; Carol meeting Peter and giving this kid she just met a smile and their whole exchange...I could go on. Just Avengers being friends and loving each other and being wholesome and overwhelmingly platonic?? aijdnauidnhuadn

And also painful as fuck like see: the ENTIRE scene between Nat and Clint before she throws herself off. Particularly the forehead rest and how they go right into fighting each other (again). THEY’RE BEST FRIENDS AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH.

Thor talking to Frigga again was???? Everything. I love them both so much. Especially how she told him to stop being who he’s supposed to be and be who he is.

Also the fact that Korg and Miek and Brunnhilde are still there for Thor even after five years of being in a Depression Cave? amazing. 

Nebula is so important. My love for Nebula has grown with every one of her appearances and this movie gave me so much of what I wanted for her....character growth, making new friends, tender/ funny scenes, getting to see her relax. Her reaction banter with Rhodey was great to see. Just the fact that she’s loosened up enough and learned to trust enough to joke with these people and be friendly with them, even if she is still Nebula about it......im love her. And she genuinely became an Avenger like she was just as determined to fix things as the others and she didn’t hesitate to shoot alt Nebula to protect Gamora. She’s fucking perfect lots more Nebula please.

Let’s talk about the big fight scene. 

as soon as I heard “on your left” i was freaking THE FUCK out.

Sam is a dramatic magnificent man and I love him. 

and Steve!

guys he finally fucking said it

they assembled guys

ALL of them 

(except nat)

jainkjandknadkjandkjandkjadn 

and my FAVORITE part of the Battle was Wanda

She went ALL OUT on Thanos and I just enjoyed it so so so much

Carol was also amazing and I think I ascended when she took that headbutt without a flinch...without even blinking...GODDESS

and the team up?? “don’t worry, she has help” I DIED Y’ALL 

for a moment I was in badass female character heaven where all was right in the world

Rescue was particularly awesome I’ve been waiting for that for YEARS and she was AMAZING

And seeing Shuri, Okoye, and Valkyrie acting as Avengers was!! good shit

and alright I’m heartbroken that Tony died but again, it was the way I would’ve wanted him to go. He saved the world one more time! and at least I got to see him with a fucking infinity gaunlet

watching Thanos die not once but twice was. extremely satisfying.

SAM. IS. FUCKING. CAPTAIN. AMERICA. (no not like that. I mean also like that but. you know what I mean.)

a lack of end credits scenes is the best way to pour salt in the wounds of me.

but I did cry at original Avengers bit of the credits. particularly Scarlet and Robert’s.