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mariahthelioness29 · 4 years ago

Text

Differences

pairing: Sam x Bucky

words: 3.5k (how did I write this ?, I don’t know)

Warning; pinning, fluff, a smidge of smut, cursing (a little), alcohol consumption and 2 idiots in love, slow burn

A look of Sam and Bucky in New Orleans, A party, and maybe feelings being resolved. A conclusion (I guess) of No Plan and Going Back.

I was listening to Differences by Ginuwine and the tracks that follow on Youtube and I got inspired.

A special THANK YOU to @avintagekiss24 and @siancore. Your comments, suggestions are gold to me. I am so grateful.

@siancore @xbuchananbarnes @avintagekiss24 @helahades @euh-say-what-now @here-for-your-bullshit @rasberrylemon @blackmissfrizzle @sapphirescrolls @babiiface95 @27dis @captainsamwlsn

Face claim for new characters:

Nelsan Ellis- Lafayette

Rutina Wesley-Leyla

Miroslava Morales-Miriam

Mood board for the party:

The humidity and the temperature were unbearable. Today is his no-shirt- shorts on-day. It is so hot, that his insecurities about his scars are taking a day off.

It is so peaceful, he does not want to think about the mission they just had. Missions are always blocked from his mind. They are a heat in the moment thing. He thanks his mind for blocking them, otherwise he will be a nervous wreck.

This heat reminds him of Wakanda. That paradise on earth. He goes through his bag and takes a colorful notebook with patterns. His photo album.

Looking at the polaroid pictures of him in Wakanda. Shuri had some vintage items. She loves polaroid’s pictures so she gifted him a Polaroid camera.

One of him and Shuri in the lab.

One of him with the village kids and the goats.

G’cobisa, Tabo, Tinashe, Buhle, Khanyiswa, Kholiwe, M’tobheli, Anathi, Bonghani, Fikile Gugulethu. Those children are angels on Earth. Bucky ‘s not religious but whoever is up there, be it Bast or Jesus, he will ask them this:

“Please take care of those children, the people of Wakanda, allow them to be happy and let nothing bad happen to them”

Sam, I wish I had the courage to tell you how I feel, I really love you and I want you so bad, he thought while remembering last night's dream. He bites his lip and sighs.

Last night dream and his early-morning wood were: Sam giving him a show, having the best sex ever all while he takes pictures of him with the polaroid. Him going down on Sam, while Sam records him.

“FUUUUCK !!” Sam groaned.

“Keep goin’ like that, you’re so good at that, look at me baby boy”, he said out of breath in between moans, grabbing his hair with one hand. He looks up to him, teary eyed. Sam was recording him.

He shakes those thoughts away with a chill on his spine. He does not want to go to eat with a tent on his pants so he focuses on the other pictures.

One of the rivers and one of Birnin Zana. The Royal Palace. The market. Him eating at the market. Him drinking a gallon of milk cause his mouth was on fire due to the hot sauce on his food. That hot sauce is a torture device.

One of him in all white fur, when he was in Jabari Tribe land as Shuri and T’challa’s bodyguard.

When the days were like this pure sun and barely wind, he just bathed in the river for hours. He stayed under the trees and the kids playing with his hair. He was the children's favorite pastime. Asked him all types of questions. Used him as a biology example, for the older children, when they needed to take their biology exams about genetics. As a doll, the village children and teenagers were always experimenting on his hair. They quickly realized that his hair could not withstand some of their hair-dos. He looks at the picture of him with Bantu knots and the other with braids in rows. He guffawed with tears in his eyes.

He remembers the Bantu knots fiasco. How hard the kid’s moms needed to detangle his hair with all types of combs and products, because the children literally caked his hair so that the knots stayed intact. He stayed with the knots because it was refreshing not having his hair loose during that heat wave until wash time arrived. It became a nightmare. Their moms taught them that Bucky’s hair is not apt for African hairstyles. The kids learned their lesson and did hairstyles that were suitable for his hair.

He was looking through the pictures until he saw his old pictures of him in the 40s. Those pictures were always weird to see . He fixated on those pictures till they became a little blurry. He closes the album

He wanted the confidence of James Buchanan Barnes. The Barnes that would steal girl’s and guy’s breath away. The same Barnes that rocked Steve’s world after they left that bar but he knew he and Steve could never be. He chose Peggy. He does not blame him in the slightest. It was the best way. What they were was a crime back then. He and Steve could’ve end up in a psych ward or with sodomy and indecency charges and dishonorably discharged from the military. He probably would’ve settled with a woman he loved too. Living satisfied but within a lie. Hiding half of himself. Would that have been a better life than the Hydra ordeal he went through? Who knows?

One thing he is sure of is that he will be proud and loud to be Sam’s man. He will live his truth. He got a second chance so he will not waste it. Anyone who does not like it, can get fucked.

He went out of his room and went to the dining room.

“Morning”, he said.

“Morning”, Sam and Sarah answered in unison.

Sam and Sarah were busy in the kitchen.

Bucky inhales the various smells coming from the kitchen, his mouth waters.

“How did you sleep?”, Sam asked

“Like a baby”, Bucky answered him with a smile.

Sam looked at him impressed and responded: “that’s wonderful, nightmares are appearing less”.

“Yeah, they are appearing less'',Bucky answered trying not to wander to last night’s dream.“Hey guys, can I help with preparing the food?”, Bucky asked. He always wants to be of service.

“Buck, no offence, but you are a white man raised in the Depression era, I don’t trust you with the kitchen but you can set the table though”, Sam answered. Bucky rolled his eyes at that.

Sarah was pressing her lips together to stifle a laugh.

He lifted his hands in surrender and answered: “Alright, I set the table”.

Sam pointed where the kitchenware and plates were. Bucky began to set the table.

Sarah looked at Sam with wide eyes and they both looked at Bucky up and down discreetly. Bucky was shirtless and with shorts. His shorts hang low. His v-line was showing. His abs all out and that vibranium arm shining a little.

Breakfast was a quiet thing, with Bucky’s story here and there about Depression era food and how they used to boil everything. Sam & Sarah gagged at the thought of boiling everything. Bucky laughed at them.

Bucky offered to wash the dishes. After washing the dishes, Bucky said he was going to meditate and do breathing exercises outside.

After they checked that Bucky was far enough that he could not hear their conversation.

Sarah exclaimed: “WHEW, CHILE!!”

“pipe the fuck down”, Sam whisper yelled. “He is a super soldier, he has enhanced hearing!”, Sam whispered with worry

“No wonder why you got the hots for him, shiiiiiiit if you don’t tap that ass, I will ‘cause HOT Damn,” Sarah answered in a lower voice. “He might be the first white man to get this work”.

Sam glared at her and frowned at her with a faux offence.

“Were you not with Ricardo, Ricardo was white?” Sam inquires

Sarah scoffs. “Boy Ricardo was Latino. I mean he white. But not WHITE, you know what I mean”.

Sam shoved her gently and said, “Not you, wanting my future man. Get your own shit why you riding mine”. They both snickered and had Cheshire cat grins.

“Hey, but seriously, when are you going to tell him how you feel?” Sarah asked softly, putting her hand on top of Sam’s.

Sam sucked in a breath and exhaled, dropping his head down. Sarah’s heart softens, looking at her brother.

“It is hard Sarah; I want to but what if he is repulsed by that. I know Steve and him used to be something. But there is the chance, he does not like Black guys for that. He is still a 40s guy, so I am weary.”, Sam answered. Sarah cocked her head and nodded in understanding.

“The guy was literally tortured and brainwashed for decades. He is now getting to live his second chance at a normal life. I don’t want to put more weight on him because I really, really like him a whole fucking lot.” Sam continued with a defeated tone.

“Sammy, wake your ass up, that man looks at your ugly ass mug like you hung the moon”, Sarah said with confidence. “He likes you too and a lot, just explore that feeling and let it be one step at the time”. Sarah offered. “You don’t have to marry his ass. Just give him support, like you are doing but extend that support more on the physical side of it. God knows when was the last time, you and that man were laid”. Sarah laughed and ran away from the kitchen before Sam pushed her.

Sam chuckled in disbelief at what Sarah said.

It could all be so simple, then why is it so difficult.

He has always had this predicament when it came to liking men. He is who he is. After years of hiding his sexuality in the military, it cost him to shake that state of being. He sighs and thinks of what getting with Bucky can mean to him as a man but also as Captain America.

Since the Accords fiasco, the Captain America mantle depends a whole lot about public perception.

He can hear Fox News, already. #handtheshieldback. That was a real hashtag and it could be revived this time by him being more openly Bi. Second, not only just being with a man, but THEE world’s deadliest ex-assassin and longest POW in US history. Bucky will get outed. Then Bucky will get dragged. Though Bucky has always said he doesn’t care about the views of the people, they can all get fucked (Bucky’s words). He saves lives and calls it a day.

As a man, he would be over the moon to have Bucky as his man, however he is still weary. Interracial relationships are hard. Imagine it now with a person from the Silent Generation, whew.

“Chile, I can hear the gears grinding from across the room”, Gideon disrupts his thoughts as he sits next to him on the couch.

“You thinking about the white boy, aren’t you?”, Gideon asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“UGHHH STOP IT”, Sam exclaimed, putting his hand on his face. “Where he at?”, Sam asked, scared that Bucky might hear.

“Chill, he outside with Sarah, Miriam and the kids”, Gideon responded. “You know what you need? A nice party with the fam and friends, some BBQ, some booze and music”.

“Hell no, I am in no party mood”, Sam responded exasperated while laying on the couch.

“Well too late, Sarah, Miriam and I have already made the list and we are going to go shopping, food, snacks and booze for normal folks”, Gideon responded with a Cheshire grin. “Don’t worry, I got our homeboy covered, aged Absinthe, special brewed Moonshine, Asgardian mead, y’ know, some liquid courage so that he can finally tell you how he feels and put you out of your misery”, Gideon said while rubbing his hands together.

Sam rolled his eyes and kicked Gideon. Gideon laughed at that.

Gideon stood up from the couch and went to the table, where there was a box on top. “I’m serious, I already went to the Asgardian shop for some Asgardian unleaded and some booze”. Gideon shows him the box with fancy bottles filled with an Amber liquid, fluorescent green liquid, and the other with a clear liquid.

“Asgardian shop? Asgardians in Nola?”, Sam questioned.

“Yeah, he met Aaliyah, married her, came to live here, and put an Asgardian liquor store, ain’t that some shit”, Gideon responded. Sam's eyes blinked in surprise at knowing Aaliyah is married, not only that but with an Asgardian. Aaliyah was Gideon’s high school sweetheart and Gideon’s heaviest heartbreak when they split because they went to different colleges.

“See? You are thinking too hard. If ol’ girl is married with literally an alien and they fine what about you with the metal armed white boy, ya’ll gonna be okay, ai’ght”, Gideon pats Sam’s shoulder with force.

Sam smiles at his brother, “you’re right, if he will not tell me how he feels, I will.”

“That’s what the fuck I’m talkin ’bout, my brother ain’t no punk”.

It turns out that Gideon was right. What he needed was a party.

He was greeting everyone; he was the life of the party. He was dapping everyone, hugging everyone.

Sam was feeling himself with his white tank top and yellow open up shirt with white shorts. Cuban cigar on his lips and Hennessey on his hand. He took the cigar off his lips and began to sing out loud;” It’s getting’ hot in here (So hot) so take off all your clothes, I am getting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off”. He was dancing with a woman in a suggestive manner. The woman was grinding her ass against his crotch to the rhythm of the music. They were gyrating their hips in sync with each other and the music. Sam turned the woman around and talked to her ear. He was smiling. They look at each other briefly. Bucky lifts his drink up at him with a forced smile. Sam and Leyla decided to dance like this, since he saw Bucky getting cozy with Lafayette after playing domino, when Bucky won a couple of times. Needless to say, Sam’s mood sours after seeing that so he asks Leyla to dance with him to make Bucky jealous, giving him a taste of his own medicine.

Bucky was wearing tight black jeans and a blue Henley, hair in a half up and half down hair do, feeling uneasy to say the least, nursing a shot of aged absinthe.

He was feeling a myriad of emotions. He did not know if he wanted to be the girl so he can cop a feel of Sam or be Sam so that he can cop a feel of a woman. Either way it has been so long since he felt someone’s skin against his. He thinks about having Sam that close in the privacy of his room. Moving into him like he is moving with that woman. There was a feeling eating him piece by piece. If it was a man, he'd definitely use his Winter Soldier face to scare him off. He realizes it is jealousy, he is jealous. He just stares at the tree next to them till it blurs along with the image of Sam and the woman he is dancing with. He feels his heart tight against his chest.

“You think is working?”, Sam whispered to Leyla, his high school friend

“Oh, yes, it is, the man a wreck, he was boring holes into us”, Leyla laughed and put her arms around his neck. “Believe me, you will have him in your hand, he needs to get a preview of what he is missing, otherwise he will never tell you how he feels.’ Leyla turned around and put her hands on his knees. They were about to give Bucky a heart attack with the next song.

Bucky got up and went to the table with all the liquor, wanting more absinthe.

He saw everybody rushed to the center of the makeshift dance space, as violins began to play. Bucky was confused and he concluded that the song must be quite popular.

Gideon was the DJ, he screamed: “Cash Money Records, taking over for the 99 and the 2000!!!”

Everyone either cheered or repeated that sentence in response, Bucky turned to see Sam and his eyes could not believe what he was seeing.

The woman was bent over wiggling her ass rapidly against Sam to the beat of the music. Sarah was doing the same to a guy.

He did not understand the dance or the music. He asks the Kimoyo beads to tell him what this music and this dancing are about. The beads started explaining what twerking was: “ twerking is a type of dance that came out of the bounce music scene of New Orleans. It originated in the 1980s. Individually-performed, chiefly but not exclusively by women, dancers move by throwing or thrusting their hips back or shaking their buttocks, often in a low squatting stance. Twerking is part of a larger set of characteristic moves that were unique to the New Orleans style of hip-hop known as "bounce". This dance move has roots in African culture and has spread to all scenes of hip-hop, current popular music and in Latin American music such as reggaetón. This is what you are seeing and hearing, Bucky”.

“God, I am such an old man”, he contemplated in defeat.

He could never be this jovial, he feels like he would hold Sam down. In order to drown his jealousy, he began to drink that Asgardian mead, mixed with the absinthe like it was water.

He was feeling a little better with the alcohol in his system. It is refreshing to have the buzz of alcohol in him for the first time in 70 years.

He started to sway to the rhythm of the music too not knowing how to dance but he likes the music. The violins and piano remind him a little of the music back then.

“I like this song”, “What is the name of the song and the genre?” he said to the beads.

“You don’t need to ask the beads”, he hears Sam’s voice.

Bucky stopped the bead’s explanation. Bucky chuckled at the sound of Sam’s voice and turned around.

“Who was I supposed to ask? You practically ditched me after dominos and spades” Bucky responded.

“Well, you could’ve asked your lil’ new friend Lafayette”. Where he at by the way?” Sam asked with a taunting tone looking around.

“You were pretty boo’d up with him”, Sam responded with a mean glint in his eyes.

Bucky smirked at him and said; “Ditch me too after I told him, I was interested in someone else”, looking at him while drinking the special brewed Moonshine.

“But turns out the person I like has someone to be “cozy “with, I guess.” Bucky said, while getting into Sam’s space and tracing his finger on Sam's shirt. “He even got a dance on him called ``twerk'', by the way I had to ask the beads what that was.”, Bucky responded a little hurt.

Sam’s breath hitched, feeling Bucky that close.

“So, I think, I need to mingle more, see you around Sam”, Bucky said while stepping out of Sam's space.

He needs to act, and fast.

Before Bucky could go, Sam grabbed Bucky’s forearm harshly and brought Bucky up to him. They look at each other with defiance for what seem ages. He then tilted his head and his lips were ghosting over Bucky.

You make the first move, I won’t, Bucky thought with Sam’s lips ghosting over his.

Sam gives him a bruising kiss.

Bucky was not prepared for that; he found support by putting his hands on his forearms. He matched Sam’s pace and brought Sam closer.

He feels so good, his lips feel so nice, Bucky thought while kissing Sam with force, all tongue.

After that kiss, they both needed to take a breath. He can see Sam not looking at him.

“Hey, let’s not”, Bucky said sternly while tilting Sam’s face up with delicacy. “If you want to regret something do it in the morning, not tonight, please”. Bucky whispered.

“I regret nothing”, Sam stated.

“That’s the spirit”, Bucky said, caressing Sam’s face, smiling and blushing.

“Ayee, this is one of my favorites, dance with me”, Sam said, taking Bucky’s hand in his and began walking with him to the dance space.

They saw Gideon and his wife, Miriam kissing and dancing to the song. Sarah and the guy she was twerking on earlier, also swayed with the song.

The song was pretty, light. They did not need to talk cause the song was doing all the talking.

“My whole life has changed

Since you came in, I knew back then

You were that special one

I'm so in love, so deep in love

You made my life complete

You are so sweet, no one competes

Glad you came into my life

You blind me with your love

With you I have no sight”, boomed through to speakers.

Sam and Bucky swayed to the rhythm, pressed against each other, Sam’s head resting against Bucky’s shoulder, both of their eyes closed savoring the moment.

They were surrounded by other couples dancing.

But no one else matters, only them exist.

Bucky’s eyes open for a moment. He saw Leyla and Lafayette lifting their glasses at him and smiling, nodding in support, then clicking their glasses together. He smiles at them back and closes his eyes continuing to savor the moment.

“They have a lot to go through if they want a relationship, but he will learn and go through it cause it is not only about him, it is about Sam and him.” Bucky contemplated. That does not matter right now, he feels fulfilled, at peace hugging Sam like this.

Sam is still weary about how they can bond. They are such different people with different experiences, but that does not matter right now. He feels loved and protected with the way Bucky’s warmth is enveloping him.

#sambucky #Differences #milliwritesnowiguess #conclusionmaybe?

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